#mote than anything
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Qualunque cosa accada sappi che
Sei tutto per me, sei tutto per me
Ti amo cosí tanto
Sei tutto per me, sei tutto per me✨
Lineart: @phenicottero__
#tabhitasakamaki#clip studio paint#clip studio#artist on tumblr#digital art#art work#arte italiana#art of drawing#graphic design#art#artis#art of the day#girls#hazbin hotel#charlie#vaggie#charlie morningstar#blonde hair#silver hair#bed#red eyes#mote than anything
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Pumpkin beast #1 has been completed.
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Honestly I kinda don't get why we distinguish f!Cell/q!Cellbit and not q!Cell/q!Cellbit since we already have the different nicknames to know which is which
So I think that a good change would be to switch to q!Cell when we're talking about the Cell that is canon to QSMP and f!Cell when talking about Cell that is only canon to Fuga Impossivel since there are quite signficant deifferences between them like:
q!Cell: ate Pac's leg, met Bad before Alcatraz and escaped the island (since now he's on Quesadilla Island)
f!Cell: didn't eat Pac's leg (I'm pretty sure that detail was added later on to the canon but during QSMP so according to Fuga Impossivel it never happened), never met Bad (I don't know 100% because I didn't watch it ngl) and he technically might have as well died on that island
And these are basically key points in q!Cellbits backstory
Also pls correct me if i'm wrong about something i haven't actually watched it
#not original ive definitly seen it talked about#its not like 'guys. stop RIGHT NOW' but mote like 'hey i pay too much attention'#and also i kinda don't like that both thr name and the indicatiom are diff#like it bugs me for some reason becasue if you didn't know you may as well assume they're two diff chracters#but its more like wishful thinking than anything else like ive already grown used to it#and i dont mind it THAT much#its a little detail that i just needed to say somewhere or else id explode#qsmp#cellbit#qsmp cellbit#q!cellbit#f!cell#q!cell#fuga impossível#theos bullcrap
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just binged watched knives out, glass onion, and nope after seeing Oppenheimer - and remembering i love movies - despite not watching them - well it's now 6.15am, im going to bed bye
#this is mote of a nite for me than anything else#i really need to sleep#im seeing barbie with one of my big bro today#platypustalks
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One of my lecturers emailed me asking why I've been absent for the past two weeks and I don't know how to politely tell her that it's her specifically and her lessons literally made me want to kill myself and I don't have the mental strength to face her yet 😐
#ask to tag#she was polite about it and knows im chronically ill so she's worried about my health but it's a mental issue mote than anything#apple rambles#vent cw
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I mean. I do think its weird that some ppl are so eager and willing to switch their old make up out with "cruelty free" make up but then. Not consider doing that with food in any capacity. And its hard not to feel like some ppl have been convicned vegan food is cringe and that since vegans are cringe all around that everything we do and eat is also cringe. Like yall reaaaallly want to divorce animal rights from veganism and thats an impossible task. Vegans will always be part of animal welfare one way or another. Who do you think fights for cruelty free make up in the first place? Ig if you divorce them in your mind you get to pretend the two movements are entirely seperate and you're not like those Loud Cringe Vegans or whatever lmao. Like. Okay cassandra. I kinda have a feeling a good majority of the people involved in pushing cruelty free make up are vegan. Idk why substituting your meat every now and then is so fuckin hard (if you can do it) if not for how ppl react to vegan food as if its cringe. And taste to me isnt a good enough excuse bc theres a lot of vegan food that tastes good. It feels like you just like the taste of something familiar.
#i promise its a lot better than you think it is#is it exactly like meat? no. but meat doesnt have to be the main protien in every fuckin thing#sometimes a nicely crafter veggie patty os enough#crafted*#anyways theres a bunch of vegans in my motes now bc of an old post of mine#so thats why i was thinkin abt this#🙄 and no i dont think theres some way to sus out who can and cant eat meat. i think people know when they can or cant and just wanna lie#to themselves when they can so they can keep eating the tasty tasty meat.#like. you know who you are. i dont need to make you vegan bc clearly you already feel guilty enough to lie to urself 🥴#i dont believe in Legislating Some Way To Detect Who Is And Isnt Vegan Possibly By Evaluating Their Medical History or some crap.#but ik yall gotta assume the worst from vegans so.#like why would i legislate anything. ppl who eat meat and can eat other things tend to feel guilt regardless. i dont have to do shit lol.#its all on you and whether or not you wanna keep feeling that way or if you wanna be an edgy diseffected douchebag whos just. so above#doing anything or caring about the world in any capacity bc no ethical consumption so it doesnt matter what you do or at least#you dont care so you toss your cigarette butss in the woods.#thats always gonna be my go to bc if you ever get to that point then ik that you're just a nihilist tool and i dont want to be around you.#to detect who can and cant be vegan* is a better way to phrase that#like god dude you're so cool and subversive with your combat boots that every other queer leftist has and cigarette butts you dont#care about flicking in every which way. like. ur just so coold dude. so so cool. fer sure#didnt mean cold but you're also cold hearted so thats applicable.#the fact this is a stereotype in the queer community to me should tell you enough about how subversive you think you are.#cant emphasize enough that this isnt about people who cant be vegan bc they biologically need to eat meat or theyre poor#this is about ppl who can go vegan. have the funds. have no health condjtions. knows internally that they can. but chooses not to#in spite of trying to consume ethically in other forms. like some of yall will buy cruelty free make up. buy ethically sourced clothes.#but for some reason when it comes to food you act SO fucking weird about it. its truly hard not to feel like its not bc of the narrative#around vegans. and no! i cant tell who can actually go vegan and is lying and who cant! i dont care about investing that much energy into#controlling other people!! they know when they can and they know when theyre lying to themselves and others! i dont gotta do shit!#idgaf!!!#imma let the guilt about their actions do the work my dude#and to the person reading this going 'i dont feel guilty' im sure the fuck you dont! you edgy totally different person from the rest!!!
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ahriejwjdjkakakSGSJAGDIDJSJWNDNDNSNDI DONT WANNA DO REST OF THE ESSAY NEXT WEEK I WANNA DISABLE MY 5 SENSE AND RELAPSE INTO A MALADAPT8VE ALTERNATIVE REALITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#I JSUR WANNA THINK ABOUT THE BUGGERS BEING MICROWAVED FOR 15 MINUTEE IN MY HEAD THAN DO THE HISTORY OF SOME FUCKASS GENRE#hhhhhhhh the sooner i get it dooonnnee the beettttteeeerrrrreee#le heavy sigh as i drga myself to my compotur and wopen word#still im not sick of the school load yet i enjoy but like maaannnnnn#loving how i have this paired up with the netcatch of feeling like a unappointed sloth when i dont do anything for mote than 2 minutes#also i woke up to someone thinkung i intentionally called their music trash cuz i put them in a playlist that was jokingly#calling the genre trash and im gonna cry ive never said sorry and changed the name of some playlist so fast#arguuaja#me when i dont catch social cues and cry whenever someones vibes towards me are off while i misintentionally give off the wrong vibes#death detah to my stupid baka social awareness#mtxt
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HALF PAST MIDNIGHT. (A little drabble of stargazing and wishful thinking.)
↳ Ceolacanth/Sasha
Ceolacanth finds Sasha perched on the roof of the caravan, looking out at the stars, the metal creaks under his weight and she turns back to look at him like a hawk sizing up it's prey, her hand instinctively reaching for her gun, the Atlas Silver she'd taken quite a liking to.
"You're still up," He whispers, to no one but the night sky, plunks himself down next to her, earning a quiet hum in response as her shoulders slump, visibly relaxing. Good enough.
It was a lot nicer up there than being crammed with four other people and two robots, the cool night air a welcome reprieve from how stuffy the caravan got these days. They actually had some room to breathe, Ceolacanth mused. The stretch of silence was comfortable, peaceful, and if he tried hard enough he could just about ignore the sound of skags in the distance. Just barely.
And so they stood in silence, just watching the stars and the clouds drifting through a dark sky. It'd been a few years since he'd gone stargazing, it was nice.
"Huh." Ceolacanth mused outloud, "We didn't have those back home." He points to a bundle of stars, grouped together in what vaguely resembles a cross. Sasha's eyes follow, she'd never really paid attention to it before.
"Really?" She asks, shifts so her weight is leaning on her hip, somewhere between sitting and lying down.
Ceolacanth wasn't from here, that was clear as day. The way he spoke gave it away, stressing the 'r's a little too hard, slurring some words into one big jumble on the occasion. It still carried that same tinge from the border planets, just not quite. Whatever the case, he'd blended in well enough, Sasha could respect that much.
"Yeah." He replies, finger tracing a shape of the constellation as if he were trying to draw lines between each star. Sasha watches him, in his own little world. Age had worn at his features the same way it had her sister's, even in the darkness the light crease under his eyes as he furrowed his brows was unmistakable. "Dunno, I think you'd like it there."
"Uh huh?" She snorted, somehow she doubted it. Though a part of her, childish and hopeful entertained the though, maybe somewhere closer to the inner planets, far from Pandora. It quickly gets snuffed once reality settles in again, they're both stuck here and she doubts he'd even be here in the first place if he had a way out. She's heard it before, empty promises tossed to the wind. Thing is, he wasn't making any promises. Just spitballing hypotheticals.
"Eh, maybe it's just wishful thinking," He concedes, turning to look at her. And he smiles, nose crinkling with the motion. Maybe she'll indulge, just for one night.
#its been forever since ive written anything dear god#not the shippiest thing in the world but hey#sasha is like mote of a metamour/qpp to me than anything tbh#nd i think in that way ceolacanth more like admires her than anything else#they kiss sometimes tho#my writing#❥ she's a silver lining/ lone ranger ridin' through an open space (sasha)#bird chirps.txt
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Cuddy reads Allende I LOOOVVVVEEEE HERRRRR
#DId you fuys know im in love with cuddy i love lisa cuddy#THEY JUST PLAYED. THE FUCKING. BABY CRYING I USED DURINF THE GIVER. THE EXACT SAME SOUND EFFECT#WHY AM I CURSED WITH THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. WHY CAN I NEVER ESCAPE THAT.#anyways did uou know im in lovr with lisa cuddy. i love cuddy. mote than anything#hatecrimes md lb
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Small crumb felt under covers in bed, 4 dead 19 injured
#its cuz my damn boyfriend doesnt wipe off his feet before getting in bed#i gotta stop blaming that poor man for every inconvenience i face just cuz i witnessed him do it once#he is much less sensitive to annoying little textures like that tho#i cannot bear to have anything larger than a dust mote stuck to my foot#but he'll walk around all day with like a whole apple stem between his foot and shoe
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Celebration - Professor!Logan x F!Reader (NSFW)
Summary: You celebrate your gratuation with your friends at a small pub, when Professor Logan Howlett comes in. Your plans are forgotten, when your friends make you go talk to him.
Warning: SMUT, like almost Porn with no plot (40% plot/60% porn), sub!Logan (if you squint), but defo dub!Logan, Age gap (not described but there is). So please do not interract if you're under 18.
AN: So I aske dyou all a question a while ago what you'd prefer Professor!Logan or Professor!Peña, and democracy won, choosing Logan :) No beta read all the mistakes are my own... And I am not a history know it all, so apologies if I messed something up. I listened to an amazing Steven Rodriguez writing this, so I recommend this: Like you mean it
Words: 12 875 (let's just establish I can't write anything short, ok?)
The pub hummed with life as you stepped inside, your friends at your side. It was a cozy space, nestled between two old bookshops, with wooden beams that creaked under the weight of a hundred conversations and warm, amber lights casting shadows over shelves lined with bottles of spirits. The smell of hops and laughter filled the air, carrying with it the sweet release of months of hard work and sleepless nights. You, Kate, and Ethan found a booth near the window where the noise was lively but not overwhelming, and you could savour the first celebratory drinks as newly minted graduates.
Kate slid into the seat across from you, her auburn hair falling in waves that shimmered under the pub lights. She raised her glass, eyes glinting with mischief. "To history—and making it ourselves!"
Ethan, ever the practical joker with his sharp grin and mop of dark curls, added, "And to you surviving Professor Logan Howlett’s class with an A, of all things. Who does that? Seriously, cheers to the legend sitting right here."
You couldn't help but laugh, the sound bubbling up with a mix of relief and triumph. The past year had been a marathon of research, late nights in the university library, and the constant weight of expectations. But tonight, it felt like the world had paused in recognition of your efforts.
The conversation flitted between shared memories, plans for the future, and teasing hints of freedom that came with finishing your master’s. Then Kate’s eyes flicked over your shoulder, and she leaned forward, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Don't look now, but the Professor is here."
Your heart stumbled, then thudded in your chest. Professor Logan Howlett. You didn’t have to turn around to conjure the image: intense hazel eyes that seemed to strip the world down to its truths, sharp cheekbones, and that perpetual five o’clock shadow that gave him a rugged, almost cinematic presence. He was a paradox, embodying the kind of strength that could either crush or uphold.
Ethan smirked, nudging you with his elbow. "Go on. Say hi. He can’t be that scary now that you’ve graduated, right?"
A pulse of panic and excitement washed through you, your fingers tightening around the condensation on your glass. Talking to Professor Howlett outside of the academic halls was like stepping into a new, unscripted world. You'd spent two years working under him, first as a student, then as a teaching assistant—your admiration morphing into something deeper, something unspoken.
“Do it,” Kate urged, her eyes wide and teasing. “Or we’ll drag you over there ourselves.” As you sat there and glared at them, the memories of your first class with him came floating around in your head.
The lecture hall was cavernous, its high, vaulted ceilings making the room feel more like a courtroom than a place of learning. Afternoon light slanted through the tall, arched windows, illuminating the dust motes that danced in the heavy silence. Students settled into their seats, shuffling notebooks and pens, whispering speculations about the infamous Professor Logan Howlett.
You were seated in the second row, close enough to see the fine lines etched at the corners of his eyes when he entered, but not so close as to draw unwanted attention. He walked in without hesitation, his stride confident and direct, the leather-bound notebook in his hand looking worn and familiar. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, revealing forearms marked with faint scars, as if he had spent years grappling with more than just books. A single glance from him silenced the low murmur of conversation.
“History,” he began, the timbre of his voice deep and almost harsh, “is not a collection of anecdotes to pad out your evenings or score points at a dinner party. It is humanity’s attempt to interpret its own mistakes and, if we’re lucky, avoid repeating them.��
The air seemed to thicken with each word. He scanned the rows, eyes sharp and assessing, daring anyone to interrupt him. Some students shifted uncomfortably; a few glanced at each other, already regretting their choice of elective. You, however, felt your pulse quicken, a spark of defiance lighting somewhere inside you.
“Let’s start with a question,” he said, placing the notebook on the lectern and crossing his arms. “The Treaty of Westphalia. Why is it heralded as the cornerstone of modern statehood, and why is that view so fundamentally flawed?”
A heavy silence followed. It stretched on, pregnant with challenge, and you saw a flicker of annoyance cross his face. Without giving it much thought, your hand rose.
His eyes landed on you, their intensity making you feel momentarily pinned. “Yes?” The single word carried the weight of expectation.
You swallowed, your voice steadying as you spoke. “The Treaty of Westphalia is praised for ending the Thirty Years’ War and introducing the concept of state sovereignty, but it didn’t resolve the deeper conflicts. It merely froze them, ensuring that the problems would fester beneath the surface for years.”
A few heads turned, eyes widening at the audacity of challenging the professor in the opening moments of his lecture. Logan Howlett’s brows lifted, but it wasn’t disapproval that shone in his eyes—it was interest.
“Go on,” he said, the room holding its breath.
You sat up straighter, emboldened by his response. “The Treaty was a political bandage, not a cure. It shifted power among nations but ignored the religious and economic fractures that had fueled the conflict. It set the precedent for power politics without addressing the human costs.”
A silence, sharper now, fell over the room. He stepped away from the lectern, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back as if appraising a painting. A smile ghosted across his lips, subtle and fleeting.
“Interesting perspective,” he said, a challenge threading through his words. “But you’re missing the other side of the argument. Yes, it wasn’t perfect. Yes, it allowed the wounds to fester. But it also introduced diplomacy as an alternative to the perpetual war that defined earlier centuries. Would you rather the conflict had raged indefinitely, bleeding nations dry?”
The corner of your mouth twitched, a thrill running through you as you realised he was inviting the exchange. “Diplomacy born out of exhaustion isn’t sustainable. The treaty was signed not out of genuine reconciliation but mutual weakness. It was a temporary truce, not a triumph of peace.”
He nodded slowly, the light catching in his hazel eyes as if amused by your boldness. “Well argued. But if history were only about pointing out what didn’t work, we’d all be critics instead of scholars. The point is to study why such measures are taken and how they shape the world that follows.”
The room seemed to exhale collectively, but you held his gaze, a silent acknowledgment passing between you. In that moment, you knew two things: this class would not be easy, and you were more than ready for it.
Your heart thudded in your chest as Kate's nudge sent a jolt through you. The warmth of the pub, with its golden glow and the chorus of laughter and clinking glasses, faded into the background as you glanced over at him—Professor Logan Howlett. Logan. The name still felt too intimate to think, let alone say, but tonight, that barrier seems thinner.
He stood at the bar, broad shoulders relaxed in a rare display of ease as he listened to a colleague recount some story, whiskey glass cradled in his hand. The way the light caught in his hazel eyes, illuminating flecks of green and gold, tugged at something deep inside you. He was an enigma: a man whose severity was legendary in lecture halls but who, behind closed doors, revealed glimpses of something more. Something human and achingly real.
You respected him, profoundly so. He wasn’t just another academic; he was the academic, the kind of professor whose passion for history electrified a room. His lectures weren’t just lessons but challenges, daring students to question and confront the world’s recorded past with new eyes. He had inspired you to follow in his footsteps, to envision a life dissecting history’s layers, guiding minds through its labyrinthine tales. You’d spent long nights thinking about that future—lecturing, debating, shaping students’ perspectives the way he had shaped yours.
Yet somewhere along the way, between debating treaties and arguing over the nuances of your thesis, your admiration had blurred into something messier. It was during the late hours of grading papers together, the silence punctuated only by his dry humour and the scratch of pens, that your heart began to betray you. He was different in those moments. Still grumpy, yes, but there was a warmth that surfaced—a sardonic smile when a student’s essay was especially absurd, a teasing jab at your meticulous note-taking. And once or twice, when the moon hung low and the world outside seemed distant, you could have sworn he flirted with you.
But that was impossible. Why would a man like him—sharp, captivating, deeply passionate about his work—pay attention to you in that way? It was foolish to even entertain the thought.
Kate’s voice brought you back. “Go on, before he leaves.”
You glanced at Ethan, who shot you an encouraging grin. You took your glass with you, fingers trembling just enough to make you clench your fist to steady them. The walk to the bar felt long, every step magnifying the flutter of nerves in your chest. You’d faced him in debates, you’d defended your research under his unsparing gaze, but this felt different. This wasn’t a controlled environment; this was the unpredictable space of real life.
He turned as you approached, his expression shifting from neutral to surprised, and then softening in a way that made your breath hitch. His eyebrows lifted just slightly, a fleeting look of recognition followed by something you couldn’t quite name.
“Congratulations,” he said, the rough edge of his voice sending a thrill down your spine. His eyes caught the light, making them appear warmer than usual, and for a moment, you felt like the only two people in the room.
“Thank you,” you managed, feeling a rush of relief that you hadn’t tripped over the words. “It’s… good to see you, Professor.”
“Logan,” he corrected, the corner of his mouth lifting into a half-smile, but enough to suggest amusement. He glanced at the empty space beside him and shifted, subtly making room. “Join me?”
You didn’t need more than that. You slid into the space, feeling the heat of his presence like a tangible thing. The din of the pub receded just a little, replaced by the thrum of your pulse and the stolen glances that spoke of memories shared late at night over half-empty coffee cups and stacks of research papers.
Logan signalled to the bartender, his hand briefly brushing against yours on the counter as he gestured toward your half-empty glass. “A gift,” he said, his voice smooth, low, and rich with that unmistakable rasp, “for making it through the gauntlet and surviving me. Some people never do.”
His eyes lingered on yours, his gaze sharp but softened by the teasing glint that rarely broke through his usual stern demeanour. You couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at your lips, even as the warmth spreading through your chest made it harder to breathe evenly.
The bartender placed a fresh drink in front of you, and you stared down at it for a moment, letting the hum of the pub—the chatter, the golden glow of the lights, the low thrum of music—blur into the background. But it wasn’t the atmosphere that anchored you; it was Logan, his quiet confidence and magnetic pull, the way his focus never wavered.
“Thanks,” you said, your voice steadier than you felt.
He raised his glass, taking a measured sip of whiskey, the motion deliberate as if he were savouring it. His eyes never left yours, the intensity behind them making your skin tingle. “So,” he began, his voice carrying that heavy, deliberate weight, “what’s next? I can’t imagine someone like you doesn’t have the next step planned out.”
You couldn’t suppress the grin spreading across your face. “What makes you think I have a plan at all?” you teased, arching a brow as you lifted your glass to your lips.
The laugh that followed was deep and unrestrained, the sound warm enough to melt the tension in the air while simultaneously sending a shiver down your spine. He set his glass down and leaned forward, his broad frame angling toward you, his focus entirely on you.
“Because I know you,” he said, his voice quieter now, almost conspiratorial. His eyes crinkled slightly at the corners, amusement playing in the depths of his gaze. “And knowing you means I’d bet you’ve got the next thirty years colour-coded and cross-referenced.”
The heat in your cheeks was immediate, and you looked away, biting the inside of your cheek to hide the bashful smile tugging at your lips. It was ridiculous how well he knew you—how effortlessly he could strip away your defences with a single comment, leaving you feeling both exposed and undeniably seen.
“You shouldn’t look so smug about that,” you muttered, though your voice lacked any real bite.
Logan chuckled, the sound low and rumbling, resonating somewhere deep in your chest. “You’re right,” he said, leaning closer, his voice dropping an octave that sent a delicious shiver down your spine. “But it’s hard not to be. It’s one of the things I like most about you.”
The words hung in the air, sinking into your skin, making your pulse quicken. His eyes, dark and steady, locked with yours, and for a moment, the rest of the world seemed to blur into irrelevance.
“It’s why I asked you to be my TA,” he added, his tone softened but no less intense.
The memory of that moment surged forward, vivid and sharp like it had happened just yesterday.
***
His office had been its usual state of organised chaos—books stacked high, papers scattered across the desk, and the faint scent of leather and cologne clinging to the air. The room had always felt like an extension of him: commanding, unrelenting, but with a quiet depth you couldn’t help but admire.
You had entered cautiously, the soft creak of the door announcing your arrival. Logan hadn’t looked up immediately, too engrossed in whatever notes he was reviewing, his brow furrowed in thought.
When he finally lifted his gaze, his sharp, assessing eyes pinned you in place. “Close the door,” he said, his voice gruff but not unkind. You obeyed, your pulse quickening with a strange mix of excitement and apprehension.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, leaning back in his chair with a creak of worn leather. His fingers tapped against the desk, his eyes studying you with a piercing intensity. “I need a teaching assistant next term. But not just any TA. Someone who won’t nod along to everything I say and write my lectures in their sleep.”
You blinked, caught off guard by the bluntness of his words. “Me?” you stammered, half incredulous, half hopeful.
“Yes, you.” A faint smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth, softening the edge of his expression. It was a rare sight, one that made your stomach flutter. “I don’t usually need help,” he admitted, leaning forward, elbows resting on the desk. “But you challenge me—and that’s not something I’m willing to waste.”
The weight of his words hit you, their meaning sinking in. This wasn’t just an offer. It was an acknowledgment, an admission that he saw something in you worth nurturing.
“It would be an honour,” you said, your voice coming out softer than you intended, tinged with a reverence you couldn’t mask.
“Good.” He stood, crossing the room until he stopped just shy of your personal space. His presence filled the room, his gaze holding yours with a quiet intensity that made your breath catch. “Don’t make me regret this,” he said, but the teasing edge in his tone softened the warning.
“I won’t,” you had promised, the conviction in your voice leaving no room for doubt.
The way he looked at you then—like he believed you entirely, like he knew you would surpass every expectation—was something you’d carried with you ever since.
***
The memory slipped away like smoke, fading into the background as Logan’s voice cut through the quiet hum of the pub. “You know,” he said, his tone carrying that familiar teasing lilt, “most people would kill for a compliment like that from me. And yet, here you are, blushing as if it’s the first time anyone’s told you you’re remarkable.”
The flush in your cheeks deepened, and you ducked your head, trying to hide the effect his words had on you. “It was more than an honour,” you murmured, voice shy but unwavering. “Working with you made me realise how much I wanted to teach. Your classes… They made me sure of what I wanted for my future.”
Something flickered across his face then, a shadow of pride mixed with something you couldn’t quite name. He got closer, the space between you shrinking until you could feel the subtle warmth radiating from him. “Is that so?” he asked, his voice dropping into a tone both playful and low. “I’m glad to hear it. If I inspired even half of what you’re capable of, then I’d say I did something right.”
His words sent a warmth curling through your chest, but it was the way he looked at you—steady, unflinching—that made your pulse flutter. He wasn’t just paying you a compliment; he was studying your reaction, watching you with a heat that felt almost tangible.
The smoky scent of his cologne teased your senses as he leaned in, close enough that the noise of the pub faded into a faint hum in the background. “Careful,” he murmured, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Blushing like that could make a person think you’re flustered.”
“I’m not,” you shot back, though the warmth blooming across your cheeks betrayed you.
He laughed softly, a low rumble that sent shivers down your spine. “Good,” he said, his eyes lingering on you a moment longer than necessary. “Because I like seeing you off your game.”
You swallowed hard, torn between embarrassment and exhilaration. “You’re impossible,” you whispered, trying to muster some semblance of control over the situation.
“And yet,” he said, his voice a low drawl as he raised his glass and tapped it lightly against yours, “here you are.”
The moment stretched between you, heavy with unspoken possibilities. It was a tension you’d never dared to acknowledge until now, and yet, sitting here beside him, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
***
The night unfolded slowly, the warm glow of the pub sinking deeper into the evening. Despite the bustling crowd, you remained anchored in the space beside Logan at the bar. Each shared glance, each quiet laugh between the two of you, felt like the room itself was narrowing its focus, pulling you closer together.
When you reminded him, more than once, that you could buy your own drinks, he waved your protests away with an easy smile. “Consider it back pay for the TA work,” he said, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “And believe me, you earned it. I’m still convinced you deserve a medal for grading that batch of essays on European revolutions. I don’t think I’ve ever seen ‘Napoleon’ spelled with so many variations.”
You laughed, the sound bright and unrestrained. “To be fair, some of those students were probably just guessing who led the French army.”
“God help them,” Logan muttered, taking a slow sip of his whiskey before his eyes found yours again, softened by amusement. “How’s the thesis holding up under post-graduate scrutiny? Still proud of it?”
“Mostly,” you admitted, swirling the liquid in your glass thoughtfully. “There are a few parts I’d tweak if I could go back. But it did the job, right? Even impressed you.”
“‘Impressed’ might be underselling it,” he replied, his voice quieter now, rougher. “It was ambitious. You could’ve played it safe like most do, but you didn’t. You took a risk. That takes guts.”
The warmth in your chest grew at his words, a kind of pride that felt almost too big to contain. “I learned from the best,” you said softly.
Logan’s lips curved into a faint smile, his eyes crinkling at the edges. For a moment, the din of the pub seemed to fade entirely, leaving only the sound of his voice and the unspoken connection hanging in the air.
The conversation drifted easily between you, shifting from the late-night research sessions you once shared to the quirks of students you’d both encountered. You told him about the time a student had submitted a paper on the American Revolution that inexplicably included a section on The Beatles. Logan nearly choked on his drink, his deep laugh drawing a few glances from nearby patrons.
“Still proud of the next generation?” you teased, grinning.
“Barely,” he muttered, shaking his head before his smirk returned. “So, what now? What’s next for you outside of history?”
“Outside of history?” you quipped, leaning closer, the bubble of energy between you tightening. “Is there anything outside of history? I don’t know, Logan. I’ve spent so much time buried in books, I might as well be a mediaeval monk.”
His eyes sparkled with amusement, but the way he leaned toward you, just slightly, was enough to shift the atmosphere again. “A monk, huh?” he said, his voice low. “Somehow, I doubt that.”
The weight of his words sent a spark racing down your spine, your breath hitching slightly under the intensity of his gaze. Whatever barriers had once existed between you felt thinner now, more fragile. And for the first time, you found yourself wondering what it might mean to finally cross them.
Logan smirked, his sharp eyes tracing the contours of your face, lingering just long enough to make your heart race. “Here’s a real question,” he drawled, his voice low and teasing. “Any current boyfriends? Partners? You know, so I can adjust my expectations for the night.”
The question landed like a spark, setting your pulse racing. You hadn’t expected him to go there, but the weight of his attention and the soft buzz of the evening’s warmth had lowered your defences.
“Ha,” you laughed, sharper than intended, but his grin didn’t waver. “Uni didn’t leave much room for that. Most of the guys in my classes weren’t exactly my type—more interested in keg parties than real conversations.” You hesitated, the alcohol nudging your tongue loose. “And, well… let’s just say it was usually me and my hand at the end of the day. Boys are boys, after all.”
Logan’s eyebrows shot up, his lips twitching in amusement before he burst into laughter. The sound was deep, rich, and genuine, drawing curious glances from nearby patrons, but you didn’t care. Watching him like this—relaxed and utterly unrestrained—made your chest tighten with something unfamiliar.
“God, I wasn’t expecting that,” he said, shaking his head and wiping at the corner of his eye. “You’re full of surprises, you know that?”
“Is that so?” you countered, emboldened by the way his attention seemed to orbit you entirely.
“Oh, it is,” he replied, his voice dipping into something quieter, more intimate. He leaned closer, and the space between you buzzed with an almost electric anticipation.
His hand rested on the bar, the slight movement of his fingers brushing against your arm in a touch so casual it felt deliberate. Your skin prickled at the contact, the warmth of it lingering far longer than it should. Logan was watching you now, his gaze steady and careful, testing your reaction, waiting.
The moment stretched, the tension building with every heartbeat. His fingers moved again, this time trailing lightly over the back of your arm, and the sensation sent a spark straight to your core. You inhaled sharply, your eyes meeting his, and the unspoken words between you hung heavy in the air.
“You know,” Logan said, his voice dipping lower, rougher, “I’ve always liked that you never missed a chance to challenge me. Kept me on my toes.”
“I didn’t think you liked being challenged,” you said, your voice softer now, unable to mask the tremor of excitement beneath it.
“Only when it’s you,” he replied, his tone stripped of humour. There was no teasing in his expression now, only the kind of intensity you’d once seen when he was deep in thought, dissecting an argument. But this was different. This wasn’t about academics or debates—this was about you. His hand moved deliberately, resting fully on your arm, his touch grounding and possessive all at once.
Your heart thundered in your chest as the realisation hit you. Logan Howlett—your professor, the man you’d admired from a distance for so long—was looking at you like you were the only thing in the room. Like he’d been waiting for this moment as much as you had, even if you’d never dared to hope.
“Why now?” you whispered, the words slipping free before you could stop them. “Why tonight?”
His eyes narrowed slightly, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Because tonight, you’re not my student.” His voice was a low rumble, rough and magnetic. “And I’m done pretending I haven’t noticed the way you look at me.”
Your breath hitched, the weight of his words settling over you. His touch, his gaze—they made you feel exposed in the best way, like you were finally being seen for exactly who you were.
“And how is that?” you managed, your voice trembling under the intensity of his stare.
Logan leaned in closer, his face just inches from yours, so close you could see the flecks of gold in his eyes. The scent of whiskey mixed with something distinctly him—earthy, warm, untamed. “Like I’m not the only one who’s been waiting for this,” he murmured.
The tension snapped, and before you could respond, he closed the distance, his lips brushing against yours. The kiss was warm at first, almost hesitant, as if testing the boundaries of something unspoken. But as you leaned into him, your hands finding their way to the back of his neck, his restraint faltered.
Logan groaned softly, the sound vibrating through you, and the kiss deepened. His hand moved from the bar to your waist, gripping firmly as he pulled you closer. The heat between you was undeniable, every brush of his lips against yours igniting something that had been simmering for far too long.
“I want you,” he whispered, his voice raw and full of intent.
His hand slid down your side, his fingers splaying against your hip, and his lips pressed into the curve of your neck. The scrape of his stubble sent shivers down your spine, each touch deliberate, each kiss a promise.
Logan pulled back just enough to meet your eyes, his gaze darkened with hunger. “Want to get out of here?” he asked, his voice low, tinged with urgency.
“Yes,” you breathed, the answer spilling out without hesitation.
A satisfied smile curved his lips, and he stepped back to let you grab your phone, quickly messaging your friends. Logan signalled the bartender, his impatience visible in the set of his shoulders as he paid the tab.
Outside, the cool night air was a stark contrast to the heat radiating from your skin. Logan hailed a taxi with ease, opening the door and guiding you in with a hand on your hip, the touch lingering.
The ride to his apartment was both too long and too short. The tension simmered between you, heightened by his hand resting on your thigh, his fingers pressing with just enough pressure to make your breath hitch. You let your fingers trail up his arm, teasing, testing, and the muscle in his jaw flexed as he exhaled sharply.
“You’re going to drive me insane before we even get there,” he muttered, his voice gravelly and laced with heat.
“Good,” you whispered back, leaning in to brush your lips against the edge of his jaw.
His groan was low and full of promise. “Just wait until we’re alone.”
When the taxi finally stopped, Logan paid quickly, his hand never leaving you as he guided you up the steps to his apartment. Inside, the air seemed to shift, the quiet intimacy of the space wrapping around you as Logan closed the door behind you.
Instead of pulling you close again, he surprised you, walking to the kitchen. He returned moments later with a glass of water, handing it to you with a touch that lingered, his eyes scanning your face
“Drink,” Logan said, his voice softer now, the usual teasing edge replaced with something deeper, more serious.
You blinked, momentarily caught off guard by the shift in his tone. “Logan, I’m fine. I’m not—”
“I know,” he interrupted, the corners of his mouth twitching into a faint smile, though his eyes stayed steady, sincere. “But I need you to be completely sure. About this. About us. I don’t want any second thoughts in the morning.”
The weight of his words hung between you, settling like a tangible thing in the air. His expression, open and earnest, made your chest tighten. There was no bravado now, no teasing grin or cocky smirk—just Logan, stripped bare of any pretence, laying everything out in front of you.
You reached for the glass he offered, taking a small sip. The cool water was calming, but more than that, it gave you a moment to breathe, to steady yourself under the intensity of his gaze. He watched you closely, his posture relaxed yet commanding, a quiet possessiveness in the way he moved a step closer as you placed the empty glass down.
“I’m sure,” you said, your voice quiet but firm, the truth ringing clear in your words. “I’m not going to regret this.”
Logan exhaled slowly, his shoulders easing as relief softened the edges of his expression. His hand came up to brush a strand of hair from your face, his thumb grazing your cheek. The warmth of his touch sent shivers down your spine. “Good,” he murmured, his voice low and rough. “Because I want you to remember this. All of it. How I’m going to make you mine.”
Your breath caught at the promise in his words, your pulse quickening as his head dipped closer. This kiss wasn’t like the ones before. This one was unrestrained, searing, filled with the hunger that had been simmering between you both for far too long. His hands found your waist, his grip firm as he pulled you flush against him, your body moulding perfectly to his.
Your fingers slid into the soft hair at the nape of his neck, tugging slightly, and he groaned into your mouth, the sound reverberating through you. The kiss deepened, and he guided you back, his movements steady but urgent, until the edge of the couch met the back of your knees. You sank down, pulling him with you, and he followed without hesitation.
His lips trailed from your mouth to your jaw, lingering there before moving lower, finding the sensitive spot just below your ear. When his teeth grazed your skin, you gasped, the sharp sensation sending a jolt of pleasure through you.
Logan paused, pulling back just enough to take in the flushed look on your face, the way your chest rose and fell with quick, shallow breaths. His dark eyes roamed over you, full of intent and unmistakable hunger, and he shook his head slightly, as if marvelling at the sight before him.
“Beautiful,” he whispered, his voice raw and gravelly.
His hand slid down your side, his fingers splaying out at your hip, the weight of his touch grounding you. He pressed a lingering kiss to the curve of your neck, his stubble scraping deliciously against your skin, followed by the faintest pressure of his teeth. The shiver that coursed through you drew a satisfied growl from him, low and primal.
Every movement, every touch, every whispered word was deliberate—each one a promise. One you felt to your core.
The room buzzed with a charged energy, electric and palpable. Logan’s eyes met yours again, and in that moment, the world seemed to slow. The way he looked at you—like you were something he’d been waiting for his entire life—made your breath hitch and your heart race.
His hands tightened at your waist, his fingers pressing into your sides as he leaned down once more. The kiss that followed was a heady mix of tenderness and intensity, his lips moving against yours with an urgency that left no room for doubt. Logan kissed like he fought—fiercely, unyieldingly, and with everything he had.
Your hands explored his shoulders, tracing the firm muscle beneath his skin, feeling them shift and flex as he braced himself above you. His weight was a steady presence, comforting yet thrilling, a reminder of his strength.
When his lips left yours, they travelled lower, down the curve of your neck, across your collarbone, and lower still. His mouth and hands mapped out your body with an unhurried reverence, like he wanted to memorise every inch of you.
“I’ve been waiting for this,” he murmured, his voice hushed but commanding, his lips brushing against your skin. His eyes met yours again, dark and unwavering, filled with a determination that made your pulse quicken all over again. He was waiting, giving you the choice, the control, his intensity balanced by the care in his gaze.
Your fingers tangled in his hair, surprisingly soft despite its wildness. You bit your lip as his mouth moved along your neck, his lips warm and insistent, nibbling with a mix of playfulness and purpose. You instinctively arched toward him, seeking more of his touch, and he pulled back just enough to meet your gaze.
There was a soft smile tugging at his lips, a tenderness that contrasted beautifully with the raw hunger in his eyes. Then, without a word, he buried his face back into the crook of your neck, the scrape of his beard sending shivers down your spine.
His lips lingered on every inch of your skin, his kisses deepening the sensations until you were lost in him. A sharp nip at the sensitive curve of your neck made you jump, a small cry escaping your lips. His low, rumbling chuckle reverberated against your skin as he soothed the spot with a gentle lick.
“That’s gonna leave a mark,” you whispered, your voice light but breathless.
He pulled back just enough to smirk, his eyes gleaming with mischief. “And it won’t be the only one,” he replied, his tone low and gravelly, full of promise.
Logan’s hands slipped beneath your shirt, his roughened palms gliding over the soft warmth of your skin. When his fingers reached the clasp of your bra, he let out a quiet growl, the sound vibrating deep in his chest. With one smooth motion, he lifted you effortlessly, holding you against him as though you weighed nothing. The sheer strength in the gesture left you breathless, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist.
“I need you in my bed,” he murmured, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear, his voice thick with longing. “Comfortably sprawled out... while I take my time with you tonight.”
His words sent a flush rising to your cheeks, and you pressed your face into his neck, both embarrassed and exhilarated. Logan laughed softly, the sound a low, rich rumble that sent heat pooling in your core.
“Oh, this is going to be fun, darlin’,” he teased, clearly revelling in your reaction.
“You’re being mean,” you mumbled in protest, your words muffled against his skin.
“Mean?” he repeated, his smirk widening as he felt the soft kisses you pressed to his neck in retaliation. His grip tightened on you just slightly before he laid you down on the bed, his movements controlled yet brimming with urgency. His leg slid naturally between your thighs as he leaned over you, pressing his weight into you just enough to draw a delighted squeal from your lips.
His gaze roamed over you, slow and deliberate, his eyes darkened with desire. There was something primal in the way he looked at you, as if nothing else in the world existed but this moment. His hand moved to your waist, trailing up your side with maddening slowness, leaving a path of warmth and tingling anticipation in its wake.
You shivered beneath his touch, your own hands finding their way to his broad shoulders. The firm lines of his muscles tightened under your fingertips as you explored the expanse of him, marvelling at his strength and the way it contrasted with the tenderness in his movements.
Logan leaned down, his lips brushing against yours in a soft, tentative kiss. The tenderness was fleeting, quickly giving way to something deeper as the kiss intensified. His hand slid up to cradle your face, his thumb brushing your cheek as he tilted your head to deepen the connection. Each movement was deliberate, like he was savouring every second, and when he finally pulled back, his lips hovered a breath away from yours, his voice rough and low.
“Do you know what you do to me?” he murmured, his tone heavy with need. “Every look, every touch... it drives me wild.”
His hand slipped under the hem of your shirt again, the calluses on his fingertips grazing your skin in a way that sent sparks dancing across your body. He pushed the fabric higher, his lips following the path his hands had traced, leaving feather-light kisses along your abdomen. Each touch, each kiss, built the tension inside you, the anticipation becoming almost too much to bear.
You arched into his touch, a soft sigh escaping your lips as his hands and mouth explored you with reverence. Slowly, he worked his way back up, his lips brushing along your collarbone, up the curve of your neck, and finally capturing your lips again. His kiss was firm and consuming, leaving you dizzy with want as his hands continued their journey, touching you in ways that made you feel cherished, adored.
“I want you to relax,” he murmured, his rough hand gently cupping your cheek as his eyes locked with yours. The intensity in his gaze was grounding, reassuring. “Let me take care of you tonight.”
A shiver ran through you at the quiet promise in his words, and you gave yourself over to him completely. He continued his slow, deliberate exploration, his lips and hands igniting a fire that burned through every nerve in your body.
With a slight shift of his weight, he pulled your shirt over your head, his movements unhurried but filled with purpose. His eyes roamed over your newly exposed skin, darkened with desire but soft with tenderness. You’d never felt so completely seen before, so utterly appreciated.
Logan’s hands returned to your sides, his touch brushing over your ribs as he leaned down again, capturing your lips in a kiss that made your heart race. His movements were deliberate, savouring the moment like he had all the time in the world to worship you.
When his lips left yours, they continued their journey, trailing kisses down your neck, along your shoulder, and lower. Each press of his mouth sent a spark of warmth radiating through your body, the sensation heightening with every touch. His hands followed, his touch both firm and gentle, exploring your curves with a possessiveness that made you feel treasured.
“Tell me what you need,” he whispered against your skin, his voice hushed but heavy with intensity. His gaze locked on yours, searching, waiting for your answer, his expression promising he would give you anything.
The vulnerability of the moment made your heart stutter, the quiet intimacy of it wrapping around you like a warm blanket. “I just need you,” you murmured, your voice trembling as the words spilled out, barely audible.
Logan’s lips curved into a faint smile against your skin, his rough beard scratching deliciously as he pressed a gentle kiss just above your heart. “Then I’m all yours,” he replied, his voice a low, gravelly promise that sent shivers cascading down your spine.
He moved you carefully, effortlessly guiding you to the centre of the bed. His arm stayed firmly around your waist, holding you close as though you might slip away if he let go. Every movement was slow, deliberate, his sharp eyes reading you like a book—every gasp, every shiver, every flutter of your lashes catalogued and responded to with tender attentiveness.
His fingers trailed down your skin, warm and rough against your softness, until they found the waistband of your jeans. With practised ease, he unfastened them, and you instinctively lifted your hips, helping him slide them off. He tossed them to the floor, where your shirt had already landed, and then sat back on his heels, taking you in.
His gaze was intense, primal—darkened by a hunger that seemed endless, almost dangerous. His eyes roamed over your form, lingering on every curve, every exposed inch of skin. That look alone made you feel like you were aflame, a heat pooling low in your belly under the weight of his stare. You swallowed hard, feeling shy and bold all at once in your barely-there panties, ones you’d chosen that morning for a little extra confidence, never expecting they’d be seen like this.
“You’re being mean again,” you teased, your voice soft but playful. “You’re still fully clothed.”
Logan raised a single eyebrow, his lips twitching into that damn smirk that made your knees weak. “Mean, huh?” he repeated again, his voice a teasing rasp. Shaking his head, he reached for the hem of his flannel shirt, starting to pull it over his head.
But before he could, your hand shot out, landing on his arm to stop him. “Can I do it?” you asked, your tone soft, tentative, but unmistakably eager.
His smirk deepened, his gaze dropping to your lips before flicking back to your eyes. “You wanna take the lead, princess?” he murmured, the nickname rolling off his tongue like a challenge.
With a quick, fluid movement, he grabbed your waist and flipped the two of you, his strength effortless, leaving you straddling his lap. His large hands rested firmly on your hips, holding you in place. You let out a surprised laugh, swatting his shoulder playfully, but the sound faded when you felt the hard length of him pressing against you.
“Then I’m all yours,” he growled, his smirk widening as you shifted your hips experimentally. The deep rumble that escaped his throat made your breath hitch, a quiet growl that sent a thrill racing through you.
Your hands travelled over the hard planes of his abdomen, tracing the lines of muscle that flexed beneath your touch. Slowly, teasingly, you reached the first button of his flannel and began unfastening it, one by one, revealing inch after inch of warm, firm skin. Dark hair covered his chest, trailing downward in a line that disappeared into his jeans, and you couldn’t stop yourself from running your fingers over it, savouring the roughness against your fingertips.
Leaning forward, you pressed a soft kiss to his lips, then began a slow, deliberate path downward, your lips brushing along his jaw, his neck, and the curve of his shoulder. Your kisses turned to nips and bites, your teeth grazing his skin in a way that had his hips jerking beneath you. When your lips closed around his nipple, biting just hard enough to make him hiss, a low chuckle rumbled through him.
“You’re trouble,” he growled playfully, though his hands gripped your hips tighter, guiding you into a slow rhythm against him.
You brushed his hands aside, smirking down at him. “I’m in control, Professor,” you said, the title falling from your lips like honey.
His reaction was immediate—his eyes widened slightly, darkening further as he twitched beneath you, his arousal impossible to ignore. “Interesting,” you mused, your grin turning wicked as you kissed your way down his chest, tracing the lines of his ribs with your nails, drawing a satisfied groan from him as the faint sting lingered.
Reaching the waistband of his jeans, you unfastened them with the same slow care he’d shown you earlier. Hooking your fingers around the band of his boxers, you gave his hip a light tap, silently urging him to lift, which he did without hesitation. You slid his jeans and boxers down, tossing them to join the growing pile of clothes.
“Looks like we’re uneven now,” he joked, his tone husky, though his focus was entirely on you as your fingers ghosted over his thighs.
“I left your shirt on, didn’t I?” you teased back, flashing him a mischievous smile.
He started to reply, but it dissolved into a groan as your hands moved upward, tracing along the lines of his stomach, stopping just shy of where he was waiting for you, hard and aching. You leaned down, pressing soft kisses to his abdomen, following the trail of hair downward, your lips deliberately avoiding the most sensitive part of him. Each breath that grazed him made him twitch, his hands fisting the sheets as he tried to stay patient.
But Logan Howlett wasn’t a patient man.
His voice was a low, guttural growl. “Princess, if you keep teasing me, I’m not gonna stay still much longer.”
You smirked, brushing your lips lightly along his inner thigh, your eyes flicking up to meet his. “Then don’t,” you whispered, the challenge clear in your tone.
And the way his eyes burned at your words made you feel unstoppable.
"May I remind you, sweetheart, that I’m not a patient man?" His voice was a low, guttural growl, each word strained as his restraint frayed under your teasing. Your lips ghosted up his chest, leaving a warm trail of kisses along the curve of his neck. His skin was taut under your wandering hands, which moved deliberately, sliding over the firm muscle of his chest, down the sculpted planes of his abdomen, until they stopped just shy of their target.
A bead of pre-cum glistened at his tip, a testament to how close you were to driving him over the edge. The sight alone sent a thrill through you—he was teetering on the brink of control, and you loved it. Still, even as his desperation stirred a wicked delight in you, the ache building within your own body was undeniable. You wanted him just as badly. No, more.
Leaning up, you captured his lips in a soft, deliberate kiss, then broke away to whisper in his ear, your breath hot and laced with seduction. "May I suck you off, Professor?"
The sound that tore from him was a low, primal groan—half frustration, half desire—and when you pulled back with a feigned innocence, his restraint snapped. He surged forward, claiming your mouth in a bruising kiss, his hands gripping you with a fervour that made your stomach twist deliciously. He poured his want into that kiss, and you revelled in the way he crumbled beneath your touch.
Your hand slipped lower, wrapping firmly around him, and his sharp intake of breath sent a wave of heat surging through your body. Seeing him bare before you was one thing, but feeling him—his heat, his size, his sheer need—had your own breath catching. The thought of taking him, of having him inside you, sent a shiver of anticipation skimming down your spine.
Pulling back, you locked eyes with him, the dark hunger in his gaze urging you on. Slowly, you brought your hand to your mouth, licking your palm in a deliberately seductive motion. His lips parted as his chest rose and fell heavily, watching every move you made. Your slickened hand returned to him, circling his length with a teasing swirl. His head fell back, a deep groan escaping his throat, as his body surrendered to the sensation.
Experimentally, you brushed your thumb over his tip, collecting the bead of wetness there. Without breaking eye contact, you brought it to your lips, tasting him for the first time. He was salty, heady, but somehow addictive—a taste you could already tell you’d crave. His groan turned guttural as your hand began its slow, deliberate rhythm, stroking him with increasing confidence.
"Logan Howlett," you thought, a flicker of triumph lighting within you. This untamed, commanding man was utterly under your spell, and you hadn’t even begun to show him what you could do.
Leaning in, you pressed your tongue to the base of his throat, dragging it upward in one languid motion. His cock was hot and impossibly hard in your hand, smooth yet throbbing with vitality. You smirked as you murmured against his skin, your voice a sultry hum. "You feel incredible in my hand, Professor. I wonder…" You nipped lightly at his collarbone before trailing down his chest and stomach, closer and closer to where your hand worked him in steady strokes. “…how you'd feel in my mouth."
“Fuck,” he rasped, the word trembling on a breathless moan as you quickened your pace, his hips twitching in response. "You can try it, sweet girl. I bet a good girl like you would love it."
His challenge lit a spark in your eyes. Without hesitation, you trailed your hand to his base, preparing for the length you couldn’t take fully. Then, holding his gaze, you ran your tongue up his shaft in a slow, deliberate stripe, savouring every inch. His breath hitched, and he let out another ragged "Fuck," his head tipping back in unrestrained pleasure.
You smirked around him, your lips brushing against his skin. “I’ve been thinking about this for so long," you murmured, your hand working him with practised strokes as you watched his chest rise and fall, his breathing ragged. His eyes were heavy-lidded with lust, entirely focused on you.
Without breaking your rhythm, you leaned forward and took him into your mouth, your tongue swirling expertly as you enjoyed the weight and heat of him. His reaction was immediate—a guttural groan that made your pulse race. Every sound he made, every twitch of his body, was yours to command, and you planned to make the most of it.
You leaned down, your gaze locking with his as you parted your lips to take him in. The intensity in his dark, lust-filled eyes sent a pulse of heat through you, heightening your desire. Slowly, you enveloped him, letting your tongue swirl around his tip with deliberate, teasing strokes. Every second felt electric, the weight of him on your tongue igniting something primal within you.
Encouraged by the raw, guttural groan that escaped his lips, you took him deeper. The sound spurred you on, your body responding instinctively as you pushed yourself further, the stretch of him filling your mouth almost too much to bear. A choked gasp escaped you as you fought to adjust, and when you pulled back slowly, the suction made him shudder. Your tongue flicked out, lapping up the bead of pre-cum that lingered at his tip, savouring the salty, heady taste with a soft moan.
You let your tongue explore him fully, tracing the sensitive underside of his length with delicate precision. Each movement of your hand at the base added to the sensation, your fingers tightening just enough to draw a deep, unrestrained moan from him. The sound sent a thrill through you, and a smug smirk tugged at your lips. Seeing a man like Logan—always so composed and commanding—reduced to this state of pure need made you feel intoxicatingly powerful.
Unable to resist the temptation, you reached for his clenched fist, guiding it gently into your hair. His hand opened reflexively, his fingers threading through your locks with surprising tenderness. At first, his grip was tentative, his raised brow and the flicker of surprise in his gaze betraying his hesitation. But those eyes—dark, hungry, and more captivating than ever—held a new vulnerability, a raw honesty that made your pulse quicken.
“I want you to show me how you like it, Logan,” you murmured, your voice low and sultry, the deliberate use of his name landing like a spark in the charged space between you.
Something shifted in him. His pupils dilated, and his lips curved into a wicked smirk that made your stomach flip. “Are you sure, sweet girl?” he asked, his tone deep and laden with warning. “I can be... aggressive.” His low chuckle was both a tease and a promise, but the way his hand flexed in your hair revealed just how much your words had affected him.
You felt the heat rising between you, a silent challenge hanging in the air. “I want to make you feel good,” you whispered, your voice trembling with sincerity.
For a moment, his expression softened, the ferocity in his gaze giving way to something warmer. He patted your cheek gently, almost tenderly, before exhaling a shaky breath. “You’ll be the death of me,” he muttered under his breath, before adding in a growl, “Good girl.”
The praise sent a rush of arousal through you, emboldening you as you took him back into your mouth. You started slowly, relishing the stretch as you worked to accommodate him. Your lips strained as you descended further, inch by inch, until the tip of his cock brushed the back of your throat. You paused there, breathing through your nose, willing yourself to relax as you adjusted to his size.
The weight of him was overwhelming, but you welcomed the challenge, pressing forward to test your limits. Your hand moved in tandem with your mouth, stroking the base of his cock where your lips couldn’t reach. Every groan, every strained breath from above you fueled your determination.
When his hand tightened in your hair, a subtle but unmistakable tug, you felt the shift in his control. It wasn’t forceful, but it was guiding, encouraging you to take him deeper. The act of surrendering to his lead sent a wave of heat cascading through you, and you moaned softly around him, the vibrations drawing another sharp groan from his throat.
Logan Howlett, the untouchable, unshakable force of nature, was unravelling in your hands—and you couldn’t have been more proud.
Every sound he made only added to the unbearable ache pooling between your thighs. You were soaked—so much more than you’d ever been before. The slickness, the heat, the undeniable need coursing through you—it was unlike anything you’d felt. Sure, you’d given blowjobs before, but they were nothing like this. This wasn’t a chore or a routine act of pleasure. With Logan, every moment felt electric, every touch feeding the fire inside you.
As your hand and mouth worked together to bring him closer, the growing need within you begged for attention. Slowly, one hand trailed down your own body, seeking some relief, your fingers pressing lightly against the wetness that had soaked through your panties.
But the sharp tug at your hair brought everything to a halt, a high-pitched gasp escaping your lips as you broke away to look up at him. His dark, lust-filled eyes burned with a mixture of amusement and dominance.
“And what do you think you’re doing?” he asked, his tone laced with teasing authority, though the edge in his voice made it clear he expected an answer.
“I—I just thought—” you started, but the wicked smirk that spread across his face silenced you.
“Pleasuring you is my job,” he interrupted, his words sending a thrill through your body. “Go on, sweetheart. Be a good girl for me, and I promise I’ll reward you.”
A rush of arousal coursed through you at his command. Any other man saying something like that would have earned a sharp slap and a swift exit. But Logan? His voice, his touch, his sheer presence—it left you feeling raw, exposed, and more wanted than ever before. You nodded, a small, breathless smile playing on your lips as you returned your hand to his hip.
Lowering your head again, you let your tongue trace a slow, deliberate path down the length of his cock, sampling the taste of him as you collected the salty pre-cum that had begun to drip. His groan was low and guttural, a sound that spurred you on as you began to bob your head, taking him deeper and deeper into your throat with every motion.
But Logan wasn’t content to let you set the pace. His hand tightened in your hair, pushing you down suddenly and forcing your nose to press against the base of his cock. The sheer size of him stretched your throat, and you pulled back with a coughing gasp, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes.
“Fuck!” he hissed, his voice strained. His other hand reached for your chin, tilting your face up to meet his intense gaze. “You okay, princess?” The damn pet name only made your pulse race faster.
“I’m fine,” you whispered, your voice raspy but eager. “You just surprised me.”
He smirked, but the concern in his eyes was genuine, his thumb brushing softly over your cheek. “Good. Use your words, pretty girl.”
“I want to feel you again,” you said breathlessly, your hand resuming its slow strokes along his length. Your eyes travelled to his lips, then back to his smouldering gaze as you bit your bottom lip. “I want to feel you come in my mouth, Sir.”
His eyes darkened at the word, his grip in your hair tightening just enough to make you shiver. “Good. Fucking. Girl,” he growled, his voice rough and full of praise. “Go on, then. Show me just how perfect you can be.”
This time, you didn’t hesitate. You found your rhythm, relaxing your throat and taking him even deeper than before. Saliva spilled down his length, glistening in the dim light as you worked him with a messy, unrestrained enthusiasm. The sounds of his pleasure—grunts, groans, and muttered curses—were music to your ears, spurring you to go further, to do more.
Logan’s hips began to move, his thrusts matching the rhythm of your mouth. The hand in your hair guided you with increasing urgency, his movements growing rougher, more desperate. “Oh, right there, princess,” he groaned, his voice strained as his control started to slip. “That’s it. You’re so fucking good for me.”
You moaned around him, the vibration pulling another strangled sound from his lips. He was twitching now, his cock pulsing against your tongue, and you knew he was close. You focused on his tip, swirling your tongue around it before taking him as deep as you could once more.
“C-coming,” he choked out, his voice rough and breathless.
You didn’t falter. Instead, you tightened your grip at his base, hollowing your cheeks and pressing your lips flush against him as he reached his peak. His hips bucked, and with one final thrust, he spilled into your mouth. The taste of him—salty, raw, and uniquely Logan—flooded your senses, and you swallowed every drop, savouring the moment.
With a soft pop, you pulled back, licking your lips and opening your mouth to show him you’d taken everything he had to give. The satisfaction in his gaze made your chest swell with pride.
“You are fucking perfect,” he muttered, his voice low and hoarse. Before you could respond, he pulled you into a searing kiss, his mouth crashing against yours with unrestrained hunger. He didn’t seem to care that he could still taste himself on your lips—if anything, it seemed to drive him wild.
“You’re not done with me yet,” he murmured against your mouth, his smirk returning as he pulled you closer. “Not even close.”
Once again, Logan shifted your bodies effortlessly, rolling you beneath him until you lay sprawled out, vulnerable and waiting. The weight of his gaze made your breath hitch—hungry, predatory, as though he were revelling in every inch of you before even touching you. For the first time that night, nerves began to creep in, a shiver of uncertainty. You were exposed, clad in nothing but your underwear, your body bared for him in the dim light. But then he looked at you, really looked at you, and the intensity in his eyes made your doubts dissolve like smoke.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured, his voice low and reverent, each word laced with longing.
He leaned in, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your neck. His teeth found the sensitive spots just below your ear, nibbling gently, drawing a gasp from you as your back arched instinctively toward him. You were already so ready, the ache between your thighs unbearable. Tilting your hips, you sought to close the gap, to meet him where you needed him most.
But his hand came down firmly on your hip, pinning you back against the mattress with a knowing smirk. “Impatient, are we?” he teased, his voice dripping with amusement. “Looks like I’ll have to teach you some patience. After all…” He leaned closer, his lips brushing against yours as he spoke, “…I am a professor.”
The kiss that followed was searing, his tongue slipping past your lips to tangle with yours. His weight pressed down on you, holding you in place, his length achingly close but just out of reach. You whimpered against his mouth, your body trembling with anticipation, your hands clawing at his shoulders in frustration. When he pulled back to look at you, his smile turned smug. He could see it all—the half-closed eyes, the way your lips chased his, your complete surrender beneath him.
“Look at you,” he murmured, his tone almost a purr. “So ready. And I’ve barely even touched you.”
His lips found your neck again, trailing hot, deliberate kisses down to your collarbone. Then lower. He lingered at your chest, his hands deftly unclasping your bra. The cool air brushed against your hardened nipples for only a moment before his mouth claimed one, his tongue swirling as he sucked, his teeth grazing lightly. The sensation shot through you like lightning, and a low whine escaped your throat.
He chuckled, the sound vibrating against your skin as his hand found your other breast, pinching and rolling your nipple between his fingers. “So sensitive,” he said softly, his voice full of pride at the way your body responded to him. Switching sides, he made sure to give each peak the same attention, his lips and tongue worshipping you as though nothing else in the world mattered.
His kisses continued their descent, leaving a trail of heat down your stomach. Wet, open-mouthed kisses mixed with playful bites that made you hiss—not in pain, but in sweet, agonising frustration. He paused at your hip, nipping the delicate skin there, and your hand flew to his shoulder, clutching him tightly.
“You’re torturing me,” you whined, your voice a breathless plea.
His response was a soft, almost tender kiss against your lips, a stark contrast to the smirk that tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Am I?” he murmured, his fingers slipping lower, brushing against the damp fabric covering your core.
“Oh, God,” you gasped, your head falling back against the pillows as his touch sent a jolt of pleasure through you.
With one smooth motion, he hooked his fingers under the waistband of your underwear and slid it down your legs, leaving you completely bare beneath him. He sat back for a moment, his gaze raking over you with unrestrained hunger.
“So beautiful,” he murmured, almost to himself. “So perfect. So fucking ready.” His lips quirked into a teasing smile. “Does getting me off make you this wet, princess?”
“You’re cruel,” you shot back with a breathless chuckle, only to gasp as he slid one thick finger into you with ease.
“Cruel?” he echoed, his smirk widening. “Oh, sweetheart, we’re just getting started.”
He leaned down, trailing kisses down your stomach and lower, pausing just above where you ached for him most. His tongue darted out, teasing you with the lightest touch, and you bucked against him instinctively. His free hand pressed firmly against your stomach, holding you in place.
“Patience,” he reminded you, his breath hot against your sensitive skin.
When his mouth finally descended, the first touch of his tongue against your clit sent a cry spilling from your lips. He groaned in response, the sound deep and guttural as he tasted you. “So sweet,” he murmured against you, his lips brushing the sensitive nub. “So fucking good. Only for me.”
“Only for you,” you gasped, your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer.
He growled low in his throat, the deep vibration coursing through you like a shockwave. His tongue moved with practised precision, alternating between soft, teasing flicks that left you gasping and firm, deliberate strokes that made your toes curl. Every movement was calculated to drive you higher, to wring every ounce of pleasure from you.
Then, his lips latched onto your clit again, sucking gently before his teeth grazed the sensitive nub, sending a sharp, delicious jolt through your core. The cry of his name that tore from your lips was almost instinctual. “That’s it, princess,” he murmured against your skin, his voice gravelly, warm, and thick with lust. “Let me hear you.”
You couldn’t do anything but obey. His tongue began to work you relentlessly, each lap and swirl pulling moans and gasps from deep within you. “Logan, oh god, yes!” Your words spilled out in breathless chants, and you writhed beneath him, your body responding to every masterful flick of his tongue. Of course, he was skilled—far beyond anything you’d ever experienced. He wasn’t some fumbling boy trying to impress you. He was a man—a raw, primal force—and tonight, he was yours.
When a third finger stretched you, your back arched off the bed as you screamed his name. His answering smirk was devastating. That damn smirk. It would be your undoing. You could feel him—his arousal, hot and heavy against your thigh, already primed for more. Yet he wasn’t rushing, wasn’t hurrying to take you. He devoured you like a man starved, his fingers filling you perfectly, his free hand pinning you down as you squirmed beneath his touch.
“Be a good girl for me,” he rasped, his tone a dangerous mix of command and tease, “and tell me when you’re about to come.”
The ache inside you built to a breaking point, sharp and all-consuming. The pressure coiled tighter and tighter until it was unbearable, and you whimpered, your voice trembling as you confessed how close you were.
And then he stopped.
The absence of his touch was like being plunged into ice water. You opened your eyes, glaring at him with a mix of disbelief and fury.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” you hissed, your voice trembling with frustration.
Logan leaned back on his heels, his broad shoulders shaking with a low, wicked laugh. His smirk deepened as he looked at you, flushed and furious. “You’re adorable when you’re angry,” he teased, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the tip of your nose.
“I’m not adorable,” you huffed, your cheeks burning, both from arousal and his taunting.
“You’re even more adorable when you’re flustered,” he chuckled, brushing his thumb along your cheek.
Before you could retort, he kissed you hard, swallowing any protest. Without warning, his hand returned, and he thrust three fingers deep inside you, curling them expertly. He found that perfect, spongy spot with devastating accuracy, and when he pressed against it, you screamed his name so loudly you were certain the neighbours would know exactly what he was doing to you.
“That’s my girl,” he growled, his voice rough and brimming with satisfaction. “Let go for me.”
One more precise swirl of his fingers, and you shattered. The climax hit you like a lightning strike, blinding and all-consuming. Your body convulsed around him, your hands gripping the sheets desperately as wave after wave of pleasure wracked your body. It was different—deeper, more intense than anything you’d ever felt before.
But Logan didn’t stop.
“Logan, stop, I can’t,” you gasped, your voice shaking as your body trembled from the aftershocks. “I…I can’t—”
“Yes, you can,” he coaxed, his voice soft but insistent. “Come on, give it to me, baby.”
The new pet name broke something in you. Before you could process it, another orgasm tore through you, more overwhelming than the first. Your legs clamped shut around his hand as your body convulsed, your arms falling limp at your sides, too spent to even move.
When the waves finally subsided, you lay there, panting and trembling. “That was… God… That was the best fucking orgasm of my life,” you muttered breathlessly.
Logan grinned smugly, clearly pleased with himself.
“Don’t look so smug!” you protested weakly, swatting at his chest, though the laughter in your voice betrayed you.
He lifted his hand, still glistening with your release, and raised an eyebrow. “No one’s ever made you squirt before, right?”
Your eyes widened, embarrassment washing over you as you shook your head.
“Idiots,” he muttered, leaning down to kiss you softly, his lips gentle and warm against yours. “Seeing you like that…that’s the best damn thing I’ve ever seen.”
His words melted your embarrassment, and you smiled up at him, your hand drifting down to wrap around the hard length pressed against your thigh. His breath hitched at your touch, his control visibly fraying.
“You sure, sweetheart?” he asked, his voice softening, the tenderness in his tone stark against the raw hunger in his eyes. “I don’t want to hurt ya.”
His care, his patience, his sheer presence—it all left you breathless. How had you gotten so lucky?
“I want you inside me,” you whispered, your voice trembling with anticipation. “I want to feel you—and your release—in me for the next week.”
The sharp inhale of breath and the way his eyes darkened at your words sent a thrill through you. “I’m on the IUD, and I’m clean,” you added, and his nod confirmed the same.
Logan leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear as he growled softly, “Then let’s make you feel exactly how much I want you.”
Logan sat back on his heels, the muscles in his chest and arms flexing as he pulled off the shirt he still wore. The faint scars scattered across his skin caught the dim light, a testament to his raw strength and resilience. His feral intensity was softened, for a moment, by the way his hands trailed down your legs, spreading them open with deliberate care. His touch sent a shiver through you, not from cold, but from the overwhelming anticipation that coursed through your body.
Gripping his cock, he positioned himself at your entrance, his gaze flicking up to meet yours. “I’m not small,” he said with a low chuckle, his voice gruff but tinged with tenderness. He knew his size could be overwhelming; with his usual flings, he wouldn’t have hesitated, but this wasn’t just a night of mindless release. This was different. You were different. He cared about you, and that thought made him slow down, made him want to savour every moment.
The swollen tip of his cock slid easily through your slick folds, and you inhaled sharply at the slight sting of the stretch. He was bigger than anyone before, and for a fleeting moment, the discomfort was sharp—but it faded just as quickly, replaced by a moan of pleasure as he pushed deeper. Slowly, inch by inch, he worked his way inside, letting you adjust to him.
“Fuck,” he hissed through clenched teeth when he bottomed out, his forehead dropping to yours. He was buried so deeply you swore you could feel him everywhere, filling you in ways you hadn’t thought possible. “So tight,” he muttered, a small, breathless chuckle escaping him. “Damn near came already.”
He kissed you then, slow and deliberate, his lips trailing down your neck as his hand came up to cup your breast. His thumb flicked over your nipple, drawing a gasp from you as his hips began to move. The first few thrusts were slow, measured, giving you time to adjust.
You looked up at him, and the sight stole what little breath you had left. Logan Howlett was beautiful in his raw masculinity—the glistening sweat on his chest, the way his muscles rippled with each movement, his eyes dark with lust and something deeper. His hands left your breasts, moving to grip your thighs, lifting them to rest on his shoulders as he pressed even deeper inside you. The angle made you gasp, your hands gripping his forearms for stability.
“Faster,” you moaned, your voice trembling with need as you leaned up to whisper in his ear. ”Please”.
He growled softly, his lips brushing against your temple as he pulled back to look at you. “So fucking polite,” he teased, a smirk tugging at his lips before his pace shifted.
The next thrust slammed into you, and a cry tore from your throat, your body arching off the bed as he began to pound into you with an intensity that bordered on feral. He moved with precision, each snap of his hips purposeful as though he was searching for something—and then he found it.
Your gasp turned into a strangled moan, your lips forming a perfect O as he hit a spot deep inside you that sent white-hot pleasure ripping through your body. His smirk widened at your reaction, and his hand moved down to your clit, circling it with rough but deliberate pressure that made your voice rise in a chorus of his name, breathless pleas, and mindless cries of “yes.”
“Come on, princess,” he commanded, his voice low and growling. “Come on my dick.”
You shattered at his words, the orgasm ripping through you so hard your body trembled uncontrollably. You cried out his name, gripping the sheets tightly as your walls clenched around him. But he didn’t stop. His hips kept driving into you, harder and faster, his hands gripping your thighs so tightly you knew you’d wear the marks tomorrow.
“Logan, stop, I can’t—” you whimpered, though your body betrayed you, climbing toward another peak.
“Yes, you can,” he growled, his voice rough and commanding. “Give me one more, my sweet girl. One more.”
When he murmured your name, it was over. Your second orgasm crashed over you like a tidal wave, so intense your legs clamped around him and your arms fell limp at your sides. The sensation of his cock twitching inside you, the warm flood of his release spilling into you, heightened the euphoria.
When he stilled, his chest heaving, he leaned down to kiss you. It was soft, tender, so full of care that it almost brought tears to your eyes. As you blinked them away, his thumb brushed over your cheek, catching the tears before they could fall. He pressed gentle kisses to the corners of your eyes before pulling out of you with a shared hiss.
For a moment, you thought he might collapse beside you, like so many others before him had, but instead, he murmured, “I’ll be back in a sec. Don’t move.”
Too spent to argue, you closed your eyes, letting the haze of exhaustion wash over you. When you felt the warm, damp cloth against your sensitive core, you flinched slightly, startled.
“Relax, baby,” he murmured, his voice full of affection as he cleaned you up with a care that left you speechless. He’d even taken the time to warm the water. Could this man be any more perfect?
“I brought you some water,” he added, holding out a glass as he sat beside you on the bed.
You took it gratefully, managing a soft chuckle. “I don’t think I can move,” you said, half-joking but entirely truthful.
For a brief, vulnerable moment, fear crept into your chest. This was the part you dreaded—the moment where he’d send you on your way, reducing everything you shared to a meaningless one-night stand. You braced yourself for it, but it never came.
Instead, Logan stretched out beside you, his large hand resting on your thigh as he looked at you with those impossibly soft eyes.
“Then stay,” he said simply, his voice rough but sincere. “The bed’s big enough. And not to brag, but I make a damn good omelette.”
The smile he gave you melted every bit of fear in your chest, filling it instead with a quiet joy that made your heart ache in the best way.
You finished your water and curled up against him, your head resting on his chest, his heartbeat a steady rhythm against your ear.
“I think I like that,” you murmured, your voice drowsy but content.
And in that moment, you knew you were exactly where you were meant to be.
#logan howlett#logan howlett fic#logan howlett fanfiction#logan smut#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#logan howlett fluff#james logan howlett#logan howlett AU#professor logan#logan x reader#smut#eventual smut#hugh jackman#hugh jackman wolverine#hugh jackman smut#fluff and romance#fanfiction#au#professor au
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Story Book Romance (Larissa Weems x f!Reader)
Synopsis: As the owner of a bookstore in Jericho, you've gotten rather good at giving recommendations to your customers. There's only one woman you desperately want to give one to.
Words: 5.7k
Warnings: discussions of discrimination, like one swear word
AN: It's been a hot minute since I've written for Larissa so please be kind. I'm a bit rusty. I hope it's still good.
The first time you’d walked into your shop, you’d fallen in love. It had been an empty space, but you had been able to see exactly what it would become. Inch by inch you built it up into your dream.
All these years later, your bookshop was thriving.
You hadn’t been sure about settling down in Jericho. The town was picturesque and it had a deep sense of history, but you weren’t sure if there was a market for a bookshop. You’d only meant to be passing through. Still, the space had called to you so you’d created a safe haven for yourself.
The large window at the front let in sunlight to warm the room, catching the motes of dust as they spun in the air. Shelves pushed against the walls and freestanding, creating mazes of books for customers to get lost in. Potted and hanging plants bringing some life to the space. The air smelt of ink and paper and stories, the scent you’d grown up with, comforting you even on the darkest of nights.
You hadn’t expected to be so embraced by the community. Perhaps you should have. The quaint town ran at a more leisurely pace than the city, giving the time for browsing stacks upon stacks of books, taking time to read a book on a warm summer afternoon. You’d grown to have the reputation to be able to recommend the perfect book to anyone.
The first time she’d walked into your shop, you hadn’t thought much of it. The bell had rang out, sweet in the quiet atmosphere of the shop. One more customer, one more story, the joy of helping someone discover something they might love. You’re turned the corner and immediately been struck dumb.
She was glorious. It was the first word that had come to your mind when you’d laid eyes on her. Tall, statuesque, elegant. Incredibly beautiful. Red lips had pulled up into a pleasant smile upon seeing you, blue eyes sweeping over your shop with a twinkle lighting her up from the inside out. Silver hair swept up, showing the long line of her neck only made you want to feel her pulse under your lips. The body hugging dress was unfair, leaving you feeling frumpy in your jeans and cardigan.
“Do you need any help?” you’d managed to stutter out, pushing past the sheer awe you felt looking at her.
She hadn’t, her voice smooth and lovely when she’d answered. Her accent made your mouth grow dry and your knees turn to jelly. So you’d turned on your heels and disappeared back into the safety of your stacks. You were lost, and it wasn’t to your own imagination this time.
Despite not being very helpful, she’d continued to come back, slowly exploring your store with each visit.
One such day in early fall, you could be found reshelving in the lull between customers. It had been a busy morning, a group of tourists having swept through for you to clean up after. You were humming to yourself, lingering over each book, doing your best not to let your thoughts linger on the beautiful woman that kept visiting your shop.
Over the last few months she’d come in at least once a week. You’d felt her presence like electricity on the air each time. She’d linger, browsing longer and longer before picking a book and bringing it to the counter to be rung up. Each time she’d offered you a smile, a comment, the brush of her gloved fingers in the exchange. It set your heart racing.
But she’d never asked for a recommendation before. You longed to give her one, to see if the woman you’d built in your head was anything like reality.
The bell above the door rang out. You ignored it, knowing you’d be found eventually if you were needed. Stretching up onto your tiptoes, you pushed a book back into place. Unlike the shelves along the walls, this one didn’t have a rolling ladder for you. Instead, stepstools were scattered throughout, waiting to be of some use to the poor person wanting to reach the top shelf.
A small meow caught your attention.
“I know, Moppet. It is a travesty.”
Your kitten, a calico you’d rescued off the street, had taken to shouting her opinion at you whenever the chance presented itself. In true bookshop fashion, you’d thought a cat would only add to the atmosphere. Unfortunately, yours just seemed to want to complain to anyone that would listen.
Another meow.
“Have you considered using your words?” you asked, scooping her up, “you’re always so quiet, Moppet.”
Her claws sunk in as she clambered onto your shoulder, balancing precariously. You bent your head towards her, letting her bump her own head against your cheek. She rubbed against you, her little purring making you smile.
“Is that the newest employee?”
You startled, your hand coming up to keep from jostling Moppet as you turned. She was standing at the end of the stack, those blue eyes sparkling as they peered at you. Your cheeks heated and you felt frozen on the spot. Approaching, a smile stretched over her red painted lips as she looked at your little kitten.
“This is Moppet,” you said as if that was the obvious answer to the question.
She held her finger out and the little traitor rubbed against it, her purring increasing. She gave her a gentle scratch behind the ear. Those blue eyes met yours and you flushed, entranced under her gaze. The scent of her perfume, something floral and expensive, wrapped around you, turning your head hazy.
“Moppet?” she asked.
“I spent my childhood lost in Beatrix Potter,” you replied.
“And you dismissed Mittens and Tom as names?” she asked.
“She’s much more a Moppet,” you said.
Her tiny paw came out, swiping at her hand, batting her finger away.
“No, Moppet,” you scolded, “we treat people with respect.”
“It’s alright,” she said, taking a reserved stepped back.
“If I don’t teach her now, she’ll be uncontrollable in her adolescence,” you said.
“Yes, teenagers can be difficult,” she agreed.
Moppet gently nudged at your cheek again, stealing your attention. You manoeuvred her from your shoulder, back into your arms. She meowed loudly, her claws digging into your cardigan, getting caught as she struggled. You were patient as you untangled her, listening to her ongoing commentary.
“Can I help you with something today?” you asked the woman when you finally got Moppet free.
You popped her down on the floor. She turned, looking up at you with a grumpy noise, before sauntering off into a more interesting part of the bookshop. Straightening, you forced a smile on your face as you looked up into the face of the towering woman.
“I’ve heard you’re rather good at giving recommendations,” she said into your expectant silence, “I find myself in need of something new. Ideally not about teenagers.”
You considered her a moment, eyes sweeping over her form. It would be so easy to assume she would want something along the lines of a classic, or perhaps poetry. You tilted your head, considering what she’d bought before, where she sometimes lingered in the shop, the references she sometimes dropped.
“I have just the thing,” you said.
You walked off, glancing over your shoulder to find her following you on silent feet. No wonder she kept managing to sneak up on you. She was like a ghost. You thought it wouldn’t be such a horrifying thing to be haunted by her.
Stopping in front of a packed shelf, your eyes roamed over it, searching out the title you wanted. Pushing up onto tiptoes, you tugged one down. You held it for a moment before passing it over to her. Her eyes stayed on you for a moment before they dragged down to the book now in her hands.
“Rebecca?” she asked.
“If you haven’t already read it,” you replied, “I think you’ll quite like it.”
“I’m sure I’ll find it wonderful,” she said with a smile for you.
She returned about a week after, finding you staring up at a tall shelf, hands on your hips, less than pleased. A small face was peeking over the edge, green eyes and whiskers looking surprisingly smug for a feline face.
“No, you can’t stay up there,” you said.
A small disinterested meow.
“I know you like it up there, Moppet, but it’s not safe,” you said in reply.
A long yawn showed you the contempt she felt towards you. You sighed, doing your best not to get frustrated. You could go and find a ladder, but then you might lose her again. She’d wander off and enjoy the game of hide and seek she was forcing you into you.
“You appear to be in a bit of a predicament.”
“She’s playing with me, the little troublemaker,” you said, not bothering to turn around. The bell had been warning enough.
“Do you want some help?” your mystery woman asked.
“Would you mind? You might have an actual chance of reaching her,” you said.
She stepped up to your shoulder, waiting for you to get off the step stool. You watched her ascend, trying not to ogle her like a creep but not quite managing it. Shapely calves led up to the curve of her hips, making your mouth grow dry as you gazed upon her.
“Come on, little one,” she murmured.
A small yowl came from the shadows atop the shelf. She muttered under her breath and then a displease face was dragged over the edge. In gentle arms, she carried your troublemaker back down to you. Her bare fingers were gently stroking along her spine, her gloves not present for the first time since you’d seen her.
“Safe and sound,” she said, looking to you with a wide smile.
“Thanks,” you said.
You took the kitten back from her, ignoring the grumpy look she gave you as you took her from her comfortable lounging position in the woman’s arms. Your hand brushed over hers, soft skin warm against yours. Your heart flipped over itself at the feeling.
“Don’t look at me like that,” you said to Moppet, “I warned you.”
Her claws dug in to your forearm as she tried to rearrange herself into a more comfortable position. She rolled until her stomach was facing you, green eyes staring at you unblinking. You scratched her tummy, waiting for her to clamp onto your skin.
“She does seem to enjoy getting into trouble, doesn’t she,” the woman said, snatching your attention back.
“You should have seen her last night. She got into the bath after I’d drained it, then shouted until I came to investigate and made me think she was stuck, then just calmly hopped out and wandered off like I was being ridiculous,” you said, “she likes making me worry.”
“But she’s rather sweet,” she said, stepping into your personal space to offer more pats to your cat.
“Oh, the sweetest. She can get away with anything,” you agreed.
The two of you took a moment to stare into the yawning face of Moppet. She really had stolen your heart. When you looked back to her, she was smiling down at your cat, eyes sparkling, looking just as under her spell as you were.
“Sorry to hijack your browsing,” you said, that sense of shame from taking her attention for yourself burning in your bloodstream.
“I was actually looking for you,” she said, not realising the pulse of pleasure that gave you, “I’m in need of another recommendation. You did so wonderfully last time.”
You’d never thought of yourself as someone who enjoyed being praised but on her lips it sounded so good. You wanted to keep giving her reason to bestow more upon you.
“I know just the thing.”
You didn’t have to go far to get the book you were thinking of. Juggling the cat in your arms with the book you crouched to find, you managed to drop a kiss on the top of her head before releasing her to find more trouble to get in. Standing, you passed the book over to her, purposefully brushing your fingers against hers.
“I know it’s been made into a movie, but the book offers up something more,” you said.
“I’m unfamiliar with the movie,” she said.
“Not a fan of Tom Hiddleston?”
She raised an eyebrow at you and you tried your best not to read too much into it. It would be so easy to read too much into it. Maybe it wouldn’t be too much, if the way she was looking at you spoke to something more.
“Well, anyway,” you said, turning away from her to keep from doing something silly, “I hope it pleases you.”
“I’m sure it will,” she said.
When she turned away from the counter a few minutes later, a couple of your regulars stepped past her, giving her a wide berth. Trying not to show how strange you found their behaviour, you busied yourself straightening the display next to the counter.
“They shouldn’t let them around the rest of us,” one of the women said, uncaring of you listening in.
“They should be left up in that school to rot,” the other said, “they’re a danger to us all.”
“Outcasts have no business bringing their trouble to us,” the first said, before turning to you, “don’t you agree?”
You realised they were talking about your favourite customer. Who must be a teacher from Nevermore. Making her an outcast.
“I’ve never had any issue with them,” you replied evenly.
They both sniffed, turning away from you. You weren’t about to openly insult a portion of your customer base. That would clear out your shop quick smart.
You hadn’t realised she’s still been there to hear your response until the next week when she returned. Moppet was curled up in her basket by the window and you were going around watering the plants while you had a moment of peace. It was quiet in the shop, nothing but the soft sounds of music playing over the speakers and you moving through the stacks.
The bell above the front door rang and you smiled to yourself. You waited a few moments before turning, finding her watching you with an unreadable expression on her face at the end of the stack. You placed the watering can down, turning an expectant look on her. Only then the silence continued to stretch.
“You’ve returned,” you said when it became clear she wasn’t going to say anything.
“I have,” she said.
“Did you enjoy Crimson Peak?” you asked.
“It was certainly atmospheric,” she replied.
“I suppose you’re looking for another recommendation?” you asked.
“I am,” she said.
“Nothing set in a boarding school right?”
You laughed. She didn’t. The moment stretched on and on, settling into an uncomfortable silence.
“Sorry,” you muttered.
“I’m unused to people choosing to side with us in this town,” she said, her expression still unreadable to you.
“You heard that conversation,” you said. It wasn’t a question. You didn’t need to ask. It was obvious she had.
“If you’d rather, I can return to buying my books online,” she said.
“Why?” you asked, so taken aback by the turn the conversation had taken.
“I understand that normies are wary around outcasts,” she said, “this town has been… there have been issues between the school and the town.”
“I don’t want you to stop shopping here,” you said.
“You don’t care I’m from Nevermore?” she asked.
“Even teachers have to buy books. Why would your place of work matter?” you replied, shooting her a smile to let her know that of course it didn’t matter to you.
“I suppose it doesn’t,” she replied slowly, “although, in the name of honesty, I’m the principal, not a teacher.”
So this was Larissa Weems. You’d heard whispers of her around town, but hadn’t thought you’d met the woman yourself. Keeping away from some of the larger town gatherings had left her more of a machiavellian figure looming over the town from her place in the school.
Turns out, the rumours were completely overblown and they’d hidden the goddess you’d been finding yourself enchanted by more and more with ever encounter.
“Even better,” you said, “so, a new book recommendation?”
“If you wouldn’t mind.”
You graced her with a wide smile. You’d been thinking about it all week, the next book you’d recommend her. It was a bit of a risk, but you wanted to gauge her reaction to it.
“How familiar are you with early vampire fiction?” you asked, leading her off to your classics section.
“I’ve dabbled in Dracula,” she replied evenly.
“Anything else?”
“I’m afraid not,” she said and you found yourself pressing your lips together to keep from smiling too widely.
“I’ll be interested to hear your thoughts on this one,” you said, “especially since I’ve never met a vampire before. It’s probably completely inaccurate but writers take all kinds of liberties.”
She hummed but didn’t give you much more than that. You paused in front of the right shelf, a shiver of apprehension going through you. It might be a bad idea, giving her the book you were thinking of.
You reached up on tip toes, your fingers just brushing the spine of the book you wanted. You glanced to the side, looking for one of your trust step stools. A warm presence stepped up to your shoulder and you felt your cheeks heat as she reached up, over your head, pulling down the book you’d tried to grasp. She was so close, practically caging you against the shelves. She paused a moment, that intense gaze sweeping down to you. The moment spun out like sugar, delicate and sweet, leaving you breathless.
“Was the the one you were looking for?” she asked, voice soft, almost intimate.
“Yeah.” You nodded your head, “that’s the one.”
She took a step back, the book clutched in her hand. Glancing down, her eyebrows drew together and you wanted to know what she was thinking so desperately it was like a physical weight sitting on your chest.
“Carmilla?” she asked, looking back to you.
“One of the original vampire stories,” you said, “I know it’s not the longest but-“
“No, that will do nicely. I have a rather busy week coming up,” she said.
“I’m glad to help,” you said.
She lingered another moment and you weren’t sure what to say to her. The shop was quiet and it felt as if you were inhabiting a bubble of time with her that was seperate from the rest of reality.
“I’m unused to being shown such kindness from people like you,” she said.
“Bookshop owners?” you asked, “cat moms?”
Her smile was indulgent. It made your heart do a backflip and you realised maybe you could spend forever in that aisle with her.
“You can’t help how you’re born,” you said.
“Not everyone is as kind as you,” she said, looking down, refusing to meet your eye.
“They’re idiots,” you said, “your teenagers are no more a danger to us than Derrick who keeps setting fires.”
“I don’t scare you?” she asked, looking at you from under lowered lashes.
She did, but not in the way she was thinking. Just in the normal way that a beautiful woman giving you the time of day scared you. But you figured saying that out loud would be more embarrassing than you could handle at that time.
“No,” you said.
“Not even a little bit?” she asked.
“You’ve been nothing but pleasant to me so unless you’re about to threaten me, I think we’re good,” you said.
She took a step towards you and without thought you took one back. Your spine hit the shelves behind you and your mouth fell open as she crowded you against it. Her perfume surrounded you, her warmth curling around you, leaving you a mess as you stared up into her face. Her lips pulled up into a smirk, temptation never looking better.
“You don’t feel the least bit intimidated?” she whispered.
Her hand rested on the shelf by your head, effectively keeping you caged. Your heart beat hard in your chest and you were sure she could hear it. Her smirk deepened and you found yourself without words. You shook your head. There was no feeling of intimidation, but by god was there something. Something hot and throbbing and desperate.
Cold air hit you and it took a moment for you to realise she’d backed off, leaving you leaning on the shelves while you tried to get your knees to work again. Her face had returned to the unreadable expression and you weren’t quite sure what to do with yourself. You tugged on your cardigan, wrapping it around your body like armour to save your vulnerable heart. You were worried it was on display for her, easy to see exactly how you were feeling.
“Did you want anything else?” you asked, not realising how it might sound until her eyebrow rose. Your cheeks heated and you looked down at your feet, your weight shifting from foot to foot.
“I think that’s all for today,” she answered, kindly not mentioning any of your odd behaviour from the last few minutes.
“I’ll just, uh, ring you up then,” you said, cheeks aflame, not able to look at her.
If you did, you might get lost in the thought of how close she’d been, the brush of her body so close, the feeling of her surrounding you. It would be too much for your poor heart, leaving it to beat right out of your chest. You did your best to ignore it as she paid and left your store for the overcast sky outside.
You didn’t see her again for a few weeks after that. The unhelpful voice in the back your head told you it was because she was completely disgusted by you. Between your behaviour and the recommendation you’d given, it wouldn’t have shocked you if you’d driven her from your store entirely. It left you in a funk, one deep enough for your usual customers to take note.
The free teas and baked goods from the Weathervane were appreciated throughout the days as you waited with bated breath to see if she’d come back.
It was on a day, weeks later, the night closing in on you as Halloween approached, once you’d given up all hope on seeing her again that the bell above your door jingled, a cold wind nipping at the heels of your customer. The lamps had been lit, a soft glow giving life to your store against the encroaching darkness. You sighed to yourself, wanting to lock up and wander upstairs, curling under a blanket with a book in hand to forget how quickly you ruined something that had been filled with such hope.
“I was worried you would be closed already.”
That voice, familiar, haunting your dreams, sweet enough to make your heart trip over itself. You spun, almost stumbling over your own feet, desperate to lay eyes on her and make sure it wasn’t an awful hallucination sent to torture you. Larissa stood in front of the counter, her smile slipping as your wide eyes met hers.
“I didn’t think you were coming back,” you said.
“I’ve been… busy,” she replied.
There was a weariness to her you hadn’t seen before, like a weight had settled on her shoulders and she hadn’t yet grown accustomed to it. Your hands pressed into the cool wood of the counter, fingers splayed as you tried to remain cool. And yet your heart was racing.
“Is everything okay?” you asked.
“Yes,” she replied, “just the usual difficulties of being responsible for a school full of teenagers.”
“I don’t know how you do it,” you said.
“With an iron fist.”
Her weary smile lit you up from the inside out. You circled the counter, placing yourself firmly on the same side as her, wanting to be closer. Her eyes followed every step, brightening the closer you drew.
“I was just about to close up,” you said.
She wilted before your very eyes.
“My apologies. I’ll leave,” she said.
“No!” Your voice came out too loud, “I just meant, I could lock up and I could make you some tea. If you wanted. Not that I’m suggesting that that is something you want. But in case it is, I could.”
She chuckled, throaty and low, and a shiver went through your body. Your rambling was hardly the cool suave exterior you’d wanted her to see but you couldn’t help yourself. Around her you seemed to lose all sense of chill and instead turned into a mess of a person.
“I’d love that,” she said.
“Oh.” You perked up, “uh, wait here. I’ll go… close up shop.”
You left her there as you made your way to the front door. Flipping the sign and turning the lock, you looked out on the darkened street. The weather had turned, dark clouds rolling in, covering the moon until there was nothing but darkness pressing in against the window. You shivered, glad you weren’t out in the weather.
She was where you’d left her, inspecting the display of bookmarks you had on the counter. A woman in town made them, beautiful beaded monstrosities to keep your page. Her fingers idly played with one, purple beads contrasting with her pale skin.
“I’ll throw that in for free with your next purchase,” you said, “I have to reward my loyal customers.”
She offered you a small smile, letting the bookmark go.
“That’s very kind of you,” she said.
“Shall we have that tea?”
You led her over to the two armchairs set up for customers to sit in. The antique lamp was on, giving a warm circle of light.
“Um, I’m just going to go boil the water. Do you have a preference on tea type? Peppermint?” you asked.
“Peppermint sounds lovely,” she said.
You took the time for the water to boil in the backroom to try and calm down. It was normal. It was a cup of tea. Nothing to get worked up over. Just the woman you’d been enamoured with taking time out of her day to share a cup of tea with you. There was no need to make it into any more than it was.
You could be cool.
She was sitting in one of the armchairs, elegant in a way you’d never managed. You tried to keep the tremor from your hand as you passed over the cup. Her fingers brushed yours, gloveless again despite the chill of outside. Not that it was cold in your shop. You always made sure it was comfortable inside your four walls.
“What did you think of the book?” you asked as you settled in your own chair, legs curling up underneath you.
“It was certainly an interested read,” she said.
“Did you not like it?” you asked.
She looked at you a moment, those eyes seeing more than you wanted them to. You looked down into your cup, not wanting her to see how much the answer meant to you.
“I did. I found the relationship written between an outcast and a normie fascinating,” she said, slow, careful, as if putting a lot of thought into each word, “but then, I suppose given the time period, a relationship between two women could have been just as shocking.”
“I think it was ahead of its time,” you said.
“What makes you say that?” she asked.
“Because neither of those things matter.”
The way she was looking at you had any more words dying on your lips. It wasn’t that you’d surprised her, more that you’d confirmed something for her. Like you’d shown her a piece of the puzzle she knew you held. Like you were exactly who she thought you were.
“You really believe that, don’t you?” she asked, but you weren’t sure it was actually a question.
“Of course,” you replied.
She nodded, taking a sip from her cup. You followed suit, not sure what to fill the silence with.
“I was curious about your reasoning for suggesting this book to me,” she said when it became clear you had nothing else to say.
“I suppose… I wanted to see your reaction to it,” you admitted.
You looked up at her from under your lowered lashes, hoping to be able to read her expression this time. A look passed over her face, one that spoke of surprise mixed with smugness, not something you were used to seeing.
“I see,” she said.
“Do you?” you asked.
“I think I do,” she replied, “you wanted to see how I’d respond to a sapphic love story between an outcast and a normie.”
A spike of hope went through your heart.
“And how do you respond?” you asked.
“Rather favourably.”
Your fingers convulsively curled around the mug in your hand, the warmth from the ceramic seeping into your bones. Something in her gaze sparked fire in your veins and you felt breathless. She placed her cup down, the noise louder than it shouldn’t have been in the space.
“The first time I walked into this quaint little store, I thought you were the most precious thing in here,” she said, “it’s what kept me coming back. Although, I must say, there is something in the atmosphere of this place that evokes comfort.”
“I thought you were glorious,” you said, not considering the words before they left your lips.
“You did?” Her entire face lit up.
You nodded, teeth sinking into your bottom lip.
Just as she opened her mouth to say something else, a loud bang came from the front of your shop. You jumped, hot liquid spilling over the skin of your hand. You hissed, placing the mug down before you could properly burn yourself.
She was there in an instant, reaching out for your hand, her fingers soft as they brushed over your skin. You tried to suppress a shiver. She tugged on your hand until you’d risen to your feet, hand closer to her face as she bent over it.
“I’m okay,” you said, “it was more the shock than anything else.”
“You’re not hurt?” Those blue eyes were so close.
“No.” You shook your head.
Her hand didn’t leave yours, the feel of her skin against yours making your head hazy. Even from so close up, she was still easily the most beautiful woman you’d seen and you yearned to close the small distance. Your teeth sunk into your lower lip again and you saw her gaze drag down to it. Your breath caught, the moment suspended in time as you waited to see what she would do.
“May I…”
The rest of her question never materialised. She was still watching your mouth and so you made the decision for her. Pushing up onto your tiptoes, your fingers tightening around hers, you pressed your lips to hers. She made a small noise and before you could pull away her other arm had curled around your waist, keeping you close to her.
You moaned into her mouth as she kissed you back more insistently. You curled your arms around her neck, your body flush with hers. The fire in your veins was igniting, lighting you up from the inside, threatening to burn you up. Her tongue swept into your mouth, her hands on your body leaving you a trembling mess.
Her hands found their way under your cardigan, palms warm through the thin material of your shirt. You couldn’t get close enough, wanting to feel every inch of her. She groaned into your mouth when you nipped at her lower lip.
A displease meow broke through the haze as something soft brushed against your ankle. You jerked back before chuckling at the indignant face glaring up at you. Moppet was making her feelings known in the only way she knew how.
“Sorry,” you said to her, “it’s getting close to someone’s dinner time.”
She chuckled and there was a sense of fondness in it that had your heart tripping over itself. Her fingers came up, brushing over the apple of your cheek before giving a soft tug on the end of your hair.
“I think your chaperone has the right idea. It’s gotten later than I intended and I’m sure I’m needed back at Nevermore,” she said.
You didn’t bother to hide your disappointment. She chuckled again, leaning forward to press her lips to yours in a chaste kiss. Her thumb ran along your lower lip, coming away stained red from where her lipstick had smudged against your skin. You nipped at the pad of her thumb as she drew it back, earning another smile from her.
“I’ll walk you out,” you said.
“Such chivalry,” she said and you were beginning to recognise when she was teasing.
You led her mack to the front door, flicking the lock to release her into the wind and the darkness. You wrinkled your nose at the large tree branch that had landed outside your door. She lingered, right on the threshold, and you found yourself gazing upon her.
“Tonight has been lovely,” she said.
“It has,” you agreed.
Her fingers under your chin, lifting for just a moment before she stepped out into the street. Your fingers clutched at the doorframe, knuckles aching with the cold and the tension.
“Wait.” She paused, turning to look at you over her shoulder, “you didn’t get a new book.”
“I suppose I’ll just have to come back tomorrow, then,” she said before striding away into the night.
Moppet meowed by your feet again. You sighed, closing the door and locking it against the encroaching night. Crouching, you lifted her into your arms, giving her a scratch behind the ear.
“I know, Moppet,” you said when she gave another little meow, “I’m so fucked.”
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"Poor thing." (Matt Murdock x F!Reader, Fic) 🔥
So as promised, I'm taking part in the October Tuna-Tober prompt challenge! For Day One I had three prompts to choose from, and I wound up going for the kink prompt of somnophilia cause, well, I'd hinted at it in TRT as being something Matt liked, but never actually sat down and wrote anything out for it. You can see the rest of the prompts I've chosen here if you'd like to know what's coming this month from me, but for now, please enjoy Day One! This is not specifically written as any fem!Reader in particular, although any readers of TRT can choose to see this as TRT's reader!
As a reminder, if you'd like notifications when I post something, you can follow my sideblog @pastaxandria and set it for notifications!
Ship: Matt Murdock x F!Reader
Chapter Summary:
You’d had a long week. He remembered you telling him that the night before. You wouldn’t mind if he woke you up—you never did—but odds were good you needed your rest far more than you needed him dragging you up out of the haze of sleep for a sloppy, indulgent midnight fuck. But then… he didn’t have to wake you up, did he?
Wordcount: 3.3k words
Warnings for this chapter, let's do this: consensual somnophilia (they talked about this being fine, don't worry), oral f-receiving, grinding, PiV sex, some dirty talk. 18 and up only please!
Oh and we're black suiting this cause fuck yeah.
Your arousal hit him the second he opened the rooftop door.
The scent of it stopped him dead in his tracks, threads of heat winding through him as he drew in a long, slow inhale, savoring it. Another inhale, and he let out a low rumble of pleasure, his mouth already watering, cock stirring.
Well, that was one way to be welcomed home.
Not that he was complaining. His night had gone well enough—the fights visceral and satisfying, with multiple people he’d ensured would make it home safely. But your skin against his, fucking his way lazily inside you while you moaned loudly into his ear, dragging your nails down his back, would only make a good night better. However, as he eagerly stepped through the door and closed it behind him, it quickly became clear that your body’s call to him wasn’t exactly intentional.
He directed his senses down the stairs and into the bedroom, hunting through sensory information, through the fire of the world until he found you in bed. You were laying on your side and tucked under the blankets, one of your arms thrown over his pillow to hold it up against your chest. And despite the tempting scent of you in the air, you weren’t moving. Not really, anyway. At most, every now and then your fingers would twitch or curl, your heartbeat uneven and a little restless.
Asleep.
You were dreaming, then.
Maybe even dreaming of him.
He slowly dragged his tongue over his lips, considering his options.
You’d had a long week. He remembered you telling him that the night before. You wouldn’t mind if he woke you up—you never did—but odds were good you needed your rest far more than you needed him dragging you up out of the haze of sleep for a sloppy, indulgent midnight fuck.
But then… he didn’t have to wake you up, did he?
Just like that, he settled on a course of action.
He crept silently down the stairs, stripping out of his gloves and black mask as he went, tossing them aside without care for where they fell. The bottom step was carefully avoided, thanks to its tendency to creak and alert you to his presence. He stopped only long enough to kneel and quietly unlace his boots, tugging them and his socks off so that he could slip barefoot into the bedroom, weaving through the shadows, navigating around any floorboards that might give him away. He did it all without a sound, his senses so focused now he could hear the faint whisper of the dust motes in the air stirred by his passage, hear the tiniest shift of your skin against the sheets as you breathed, hear the blood flowing hot beneath your skin where you’d grown flushed and aroused.
The scent of your arousal was even stronger here in the bedroom, more than enough to thicken the heat inside him, an instinctive little purr halted in his throat before it could stir the air with sound. His body knew just as well as he did what that scent meant, what always followed, and his nostrils flared as he got closer to you, taking in how your pheromones had mixed with his in bed. It stirred some possessive, lazy satisfaction in him to take in the way you’d curled up with his pillow, chasing his scent, and you were even wearing—
Oh.
You were wearing his shirt.
It was like you were begging for this, for him, for what he had planned.
He crept up onto the bed on his hands and knees, each shift of the mattress followed by a pause, a confirmation from your heartbeat and breathing that you were still asleep. He had to be careful if he didn’t want to wake you. It wasn’t that you’d be angry, of course—you’d both agreed that this sort of thing was alright, though he’d had a far easier time making use of that agreement than you had thanks to his senses. No, this was about ensuring you still had a chance to rest.
Though, if he were honest, the challenge of this was a thrill all its own. It was a delicate balancing act to give you the sensations you needed, allow himself access to your body, all without waking you. It was as if he were hunting you, gradually gaining ground from the shadows until at last he could take hold of his prize. Fortunately, this prize was one that would leave you both satisfied.
The moment he found himself over your hips, he shifted to catch the blankets and slowly, ever so slowly began to edge them down.
Gentle.
Inch by inch, he bared your body to the air. You didn’t so much as stir, well and truly asleep, and presumably still caught up in your dream. Even so, he held his breath, listening closely to the beating of your heart and your shallow breathing. But he’d been careful enough, and besides, you were used to him climbing into bed in the middle of the night, shifting the blankets around as he crawled under them to join you.
The scent of you that rose up as the blanket slid down was so much richer now that it wasn’t stifled and trapped by thick fabric. It made him shiver, his cock already so hard he could feel a damp spot growing on the silk of his boxers. He needed more of that scent, and to taste it, too, but the angle was all wrong with you on your side. So he gently traced one fingertip up the side of your thigh, applying the barest hint of pressure. You were normally fairly responsive to him even in sleep.
“Roll over for me, sweetheart,” he whispered, leaning down to brush his lips, light as a feather, against your hip. “You smell so good. I need a taste.”
He wasn’t sure if it was his touch or his voice that made it past whatever dream you were lost in, but either way, some part of you heard him. You breathed out a soft sigh, twitching a little until he helped you roll slowly onto your back beneath him. You made a soft sound that might have been his name, and he couldn’t resist letting out a reassuring little croon as he pressed your slack thighs outwards, gradually parting your legs. There wasn’t so much as a hint of resistance as your legs fell open, baring the wet heat of your pussy to him.
God, your scent.
He quickly backed up a few inches before dropping to his hands and his knees, lowering his head just over your hips to quietly inhale the scent of your cunt. The rich, musky tang of your arousal—all pheromones and slick warmth—left him half mad, his eyes rolling back. His hips instinctively snapped forward against nothing but air, his body curving as if he were already fucking his way into you.
It only got worse, got better when he let his head fall further, hungry for just a taste. He slipped his tongue out until he could use the tip for the barest little lick at the line of your slit where your arousal had gathered, your body twitching as he did. Even that small taste hit him like a drug, and he swallowed down a ragged moan, his chest hitching as he kept the sound from reaching the air. He’d told himself he’d just have a taste, just one, but one quickly became two became three, hungry, quickening laps at your slit until he finally whined softly in want and dropped the rest of his body down, burying his face desperately against your cunt.
Your hips twitched, rocking against him just slightly, and you let out the softest little whimper as he grunted and slurped quietly at your slit, wetness smearing across his chin and mouth. Only once he’d thoroughly tasted what you’d made for him did he slide up to your clit, tongue extended to lap at it with little kitten licks, ones designed to encourage your body to give him more of your slick wetness, your body jerking with every pass. He tried to remind himself to be gentle, to take things soft and slow so you didn’t wake, but that was so hard when you whimpered again, whimpered as he pursed his lips to suck lightly at your clit, drawing it into his mouth to work with his tongue. Your fingers curled and released against the sheets, and you tasted so good that he found himself fucking against the mattress, humping mindlessly at the folds in the blankets like an animal.
“M… Matt.”
His eyes fluttered lazily open, his gaze drifting up around the sensory shape of you. You were all flowing air currents and sounds and scents, twisting tongues of flame fed by the growing heat of both your bodies. Your heartbeat was still too slow to signal you’d woken up, but your breathing had picked up, your eyes fluttering more rapidly behind your eyelids.
If you hadn’t been dreaming of him before, you were now. And if you were still dreaming, he was safe.
He rumbled a low noise of satisfaction, using his fingers to part your folds before dipping down to your entrance. Once there, he began to lick firmly at you, pressing deeper and deeper until at last your body opened to him and he slipped inside. You let out a sleep little mewl, one of your legs shifting restlessly in your sleep, your head rolling on your pillow as he moaned quietly, curling his tongue inside you to drag against the silken heat of your clenching walls, his nose grinding gently against your clit.
Did you know, somewhere deep down, what he was doing? That he’d spread you open like this and worked his tongue inside you? Or did all your dream self know was that you suddenly felt so, so good?
The very idea that you might not know, that you’d left yourself so vulnerable to him, had him dangerously close to coming, his motions growing just a hint more frantic. Wetness smeared across his face as he kissed sloppily at your slit, kissed at it like he might your mouth, snaking his tongue out to slide inside you with every pass of his lips.
He listened carefully to the quickening pace of your heart, your breathing, taking in the faint sheen of sweat forming on your skin. Every time your heartrate rose too high, he’d slow just a little, or shift his mouth over to your folds or the inside of your thighs. It was there he left you a mark or two, sucking gently at thin, delicate skin. Even if he managed to do this without waking you, you’d know tomorrow what he’d done when you saw the little love bites and bruises between your thighs. The very idea made him purr warmly against you, and he quickly worked his hand down beneath himself until he could undo his pants, pushing the fabric down until he could pull his hard cock free. He took a moment to grind slowly, deliciously against the sheets, presing his mouth to the skin of your thigh to muffle his hitched moan. And that reminded him of what he’d planned on from the start, before he’d become distracted by the taste of you.
He was close, and he needed you. Fortunately, based on the way your body had begun to tighten in increasing waves, you were close, too.
He let his head roll to the side to rest against your thigh as he panted, still grinding himself against the sheets. “Do you want my cock, sweetheart?” he whispered, his lips curling up into a delicious little smirk when your body clenched at the sound of his voice. “I think you do. Even when you’re asleep, you need me inside you, don’t you?”
There was no verbal response, but the growing heat of your skin was enough for him. He rocked himself up as gently as he could, stopping just long enough to strip the rest of his clothes off before climbing slowly up your body. As he went, he caught the hem of your shirt, slowly dragging it up your body with him. He couldn’t take it off you—even he wouldn’t be able to mange something like that—but he had no desire to. The idea of fucking you while you were sleep, while you were wearing his shirt, was a fantasy he’d used more than once while taking himself in hand. He did, however, tug your shirt up just enough to bare your breasts to him.
Obscene, something inside him whispered in delight, a wave of throbbing heat flooding through him. Here you were asleep, shirt pushed up over your breasts, your naked cunt practically dripping onto the sheets. He balanced his weight on one arm as he hovered over you, indulging himself as he palmed gently at one of your breasts, dragging his thumb slowly against your nipple. That won him another soft moan in your sleep, your cunt clenching, body tightening around nothing. Your next moan was even louder when he dropped his head to drag his tongue hotly against your other nipple, drawing it into his mouth to catch it gently between his teeth, sucking lazily until you let out an even louder moan, one of your hands curling as if to claw at the sheets before relaxing. “Poor thing,” he crooned quietly, reluctantly leaving your breasts to climb the rest of the way up your body. “Listen to you, so needy.”
And it would only be right to help with that, wouldn’t it?
Once his hips were level with yours, he settled in, rocking and grinding his cock gently against your slit, slicking himself up with your warmth and the saliva he’d left behind. The sudden sensation of your burning heat against the underside of his cock made his mouth fall slack, and he started to pant at the little shocks of pleasure that washed over him every time he caught the head of his cock against your clit. You weren’t much better even asleep, whining as your hips jerked, eyes rolling frantically beneath your lids. It took everything in him to keep his motions gentle and slow, no matter how much his body demanded he grind and rut, fuck his way desperately inside you even if it woke you. No. No, not when he was so close, his cock now slick and ready for you. He let out a shaky breath, burying his face against your warm throat, huffing in the scent of you as he shifted the angle and began to slide inside you, centimeter by warm, delicious centimeter.
“Fuck,” he whispered shakily, one of his hands fisting desperately in the sheets beside your head. “Fuck, sweetheart. You feel so good.”
God, you were tight, so close to coming that you were already clenching tight around him. That tightness forced him to move gradually, his progress slowed to a sinfully dangerous crawl, one that allowed him to feel every last twitch and shift of your body around his cock. It seemed designed to make him lose his mind when he was already this worked up. In a blink, he’d caught the fabric of your shirt in his teeth, stifling his hoarse, shaky moan, your shallow, hitched breathing a tantalizing whisper of sensation in his ear. It felt like it took hours, ages before he’d finally hilted himself inside you, buried in your slick heat.
He forced himself to still there for a long moment, his chest heaving as he scanned over you with his senses again.
Stuttered breathing, each breath hiding a faint moan.
The fluttering clip of your heart, just slow enough to indicate you hadn’t woken.
Your fingers clenching and releasing, spread thighs shifting in minute, restless movements against the sheets.
It wouldn’t take much more for him to come, he knew that much—the taste of you still lingered on his tongue, filled his nose, and the drag of your skin against his with every breath only left him burning. But he wasn’t a selfish lover, even when you weren’t awake to beg and plead with him for release. No, he’d make sure you got what you needed, too: his sweetheart, so tender and soft and welcoming to the Devil even in sleep.
He slowly, gradually settled his weight onto one arm, sliding his free hand down between your bodies. Even that much shifting around had him swallowing down a groan, and he couldn’t resist grinding just a little inside you. It made you twitch and whimper, hushed and breathless in his ear as he pressed his cock against that spot inside you. Once he was sure that hadn’t been enough to wake you, he quickly dragged two fingers through your folds, raking gently to gather up your wetness before he brought them back up to your clit. The rhythm he started was slow and easy, a gentle grind and loop over your clit that matched the rolling waves of his hips as he began to gently fuck you, barely retreating at all before sliding smoothly back to fill you once more.
It took him no time at all to work your body up that final hill, your breathing growing shorter, your heart rate climbing as you began to tighten around him. It helped that he knew what you needed—each retreat was slow and gentle, and he never left you more than halfway before rolling lazily back forward, ensuring your warm cunt stayed achingly full as he brought you just up to the edge. This time it was your mouth that moved, not a word but a soft whisper of skin as you parted your lips, your head tipping back. And he knew that motion, even as slack and lazy as it was in your sleep.
He purred quietly at the unconscious request that he fill you there, too, lifting his head to seek out your mouth. One soft lick against your lips and you parted them for him on pure instinct, allowing him to slide his tongue filthily into your slack mouth, dragging his tongue against yours, granting you what you’d asked for. You let out a soft sigh, your throat working beneath him as you sucked at the taste of him, of yourself, of you both.
All it took from there was one more finger grinding against your clit, a gentle buck of his hips as he moaned into your mouth, and you crested, your body tightening and releasing around him in rippling waves. Your head rolled back in your sleep, a soft gasp shuddering up your throat as you twitched and shook, eyes rolling back beneath your lids. You let out what might have been a moan of his name, hot and sweet, a sound that seared its way across his mind like a brand. That was more than enough for him, and he let himself go. He groaned softly against your lips, snapping his hips gently against you as he spilled himself near-silently inside you, filling your cunt with a spreading heat that you wouldn’t notice until morning. He kissed you through it as gently as he could, rubbing lightly, quickly at your clit to drag your orgasm out along with his, pleasure rolling through him in gentle waves. Even once you both began to come down, he wasn’t quite done, rumbling a low, possessive growl as he ground himself inside you further, ensuring he’d coated every last inch of your warm cunt, his, you were his, even in sleep. He toyed with that overstimulation just long enough for his toes to curl, for his spent, softening cock to twitch inside you, spilling a few more drops, giving you everything he had as you drifted back down into a deep sleep.
Satisfied with what he’d given you.
He got one arm down and around your hip, gently, carefully rolling the both of you until you were both on your sides, his cock still buried deep inside you. He rumbled a low noise to reassure your sleeping mind, burying his nose in your hair as you sleepily curled into him, one arm draping itself over his waist.
“Love you,” he murmured. “My good girl.” “Mm.”
#tuna-tober 2024#matt murdock x reader#daredevil x reader#matt murdock x f!reader#daredevil x f!reader#daredevil#matt murdock#fic#fanfic#reader#f!reader#x reader#ns/fw#somno k!nk#consensual somno#dirty talk#oral f-receiving#smutty smut smut#trying to teach myself to A. write every day again and B. remind myself i can do shorter things sometimes too#which hey 3k is short for me so#tuna-tober prompt challenge#tunatober
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THE PRINCESS AND THE DRIVER PT.3 | MV1
an: i had so much fun with this chapter, i'm debating how to go about part four but i have ideas! can't wait to do this part four IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN WITH ALL THESE REQUESTS RAHHH
wc: 7k
part one | part two |
The morning sun filtered through the delicate curtains of her bedroom, casting gentle, dappled light across her room. Dust motes danced in the golden rays, but they failed to lift the heaviness that clung to her heart. She sat up in bed, her mind still tangled in the memories of the previous night. The taste of Max’s kiss lingered like a bittersweet dream she couldn’t shake, and the thrill of racing felt like a distant echo.
Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she took a moment to collect herself. Her reflection in the ornate mirror showed a girl caught between two worlds—a princess burdened by expectation and a young woman yearning for freedom. She sighed deeply, brushing a hand through her tousled hair. Today was another day, but the weight of her thoughts made it feel like a chore.
Just as she was about to stand, the door creaked open, and her mother stepped into the room. The queen’s expression was soft yet tinged with concern. She approached with the grace and poise that came so naturally to her, but her eyes betrayed her worry.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” The Queen said, settling on the edge of her bed. “How are you feeling today?”
She forced a smile, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’m fine, Mama. Just tired, I guess.” The words felt hollow, even to her.
The Queen’s brow furrowed slightly as she studied her daughter’s face. She reached out, her fingers brushing against her cheek, a familiar gesture that always made her feel safe. “You’re not fooling anyone, darling. You’ve been distant lately. Is something bothering you?”
“I promise, I’m okay,” she insisted, trying to infuse her voice with conviction. “I’ve just been overwhelmed with everything.” She avoided her mother’s gaze, afraid that if she looked too deeply into those knowing eyes, the truth would spill out.
The Queen’s expression softened, but the concern lingered. “You can talk to me about anything, darling. I’m here for you, always.”
She nodded, grateful for her mother’s unwavering support. “I know, Mama. It’s just… it’s complicated.”
As her mother stood to leave, her heart raced with a sudden question that had been nagging at her since her escapade to the karting track. “Mama, wait!” she called, her voice shaky.
The Queen paused, turning back to face her daughter, curiosity replacing her earlier concern. “Yes, dear?”
“What would happen if I fell in love with a commoner?” she asked, her heart pounding. The question slipped out before she could filter it, but the weight of it hung heavy in the air. “Just out of curiosity.”
The queen’s expression shifted to one of contemplation, and she took a moment before responding. “Well, it’s happened more often than you might think,” she said gently, her voice thoughtful. “Love doesn’t recognise titles or class. If you ever wanted to explore a relationship with someone outside our world, I wouldn’t stop you. Your happiness is what matters most to me.”
She felt a rush of hope at her mother’s words, the small flicker of possibility igniting in her chest. “Really?” she asked, surprise colouring her tone. “You wouldn’t mind?”
“Of course not,” she replied, a soft smile gracing her lips. “You deserve to experience love in whatever form it takes. Just be careful, and know that you can always come to me for guidance.”
As her mother left the room, her heart raced, fueled by a blend of excitement and apprehension. Could it be possible? Could she truly pursue something with someone like Max, someone outside her royal obligations?
With newfound determination, she crossed the room and opened her laptop, the cool metal feeling familiar under her fingertips. Her mind buzzed with thoughts of Max—his laughter, the way he had looked at her as they raced, the electric connection they shared. Taking a deep breath, she typed his name into the search bar, her heart pounding as anticipation filled her.
“Max… local karting track,” she murmured, pressing enter and watching as the screen populated with results.
The search results flooded her screen, and she leaned in closer, her heart racing with each click. As she scrolled through the articles, her eyes widened with disbelief. Photos of Max behind the wheel flashed before her, images capturing the intensity of his focus and the thrill of competition. He was not just an ordinary boy; he was a celebrated Formula One prodigy, known for his incredible talent and charismatic personality. The realisation struck her like a lightning bolt, sending a rush of emotions coursing through her veins.
“How did I not know?” she whispered to herself, disbelief mingling with excitement. The exhilaration of their time together was now tinged with a complex reality she hadn’t anticipated. This was no fleeting romance; Max was famous, and she was a princess—a reality that felt impossibly daunting.
She continued to read, her heart pounding as she absorbed the details of his career—his remarkable wins, interviews that painted him as a relatable yet extraordinary figure, and the countless fans who admired him. Each piece of information felt like a layer added to the weight resting on her shoulders. The thrill of what they had shared was suddenly overshadowed by the realisation of their differences.
Leaning back in her chair, she ran a hand through her hair, the excitement and anxiety coiling tightly within her. The prospect of a relationship with someone so far removed from her world felt both thrilling and terrifying. Could she really navigate the complexities of love while upholding her royal duties?
As the weight of her thoughts settled over her like a thick fog, she felt a storm of emotions rising within her. A mix of hope and fear filled her heart. The thought of Max, so vibrant and alive in her memories, was intoxicating, but the reality of their worlds colliding loomed large, casting long shadows over her dreams of love and freedom.
After several moments lost in contemplation, she closed the laptop, the finality of her discovery sinking in. As she stared at the wall, she knew that the choices ahead would not be easy, and the conflict within her heart was only just beginning. But for the first time, she felt a spark of determination. If love was indeed possible, she would find a way to pursue it—no matter how complicated or unconventional it might be.
With newfound determination, she retrieved a sheet of crisp, ivory stationery from her desk. The elegant paper felt cool against her fingers as she settled into her chair, her heart racing with the thrill of what she was about to do. She took a deep breath, letting the silence of her room surround her, and began to write.
Dear Max,
I hope this letter finds you well.
It’s hard to find the right words, but I must try. Our time together at the karting track meant more to me than I can express. It was a breath of fresh air, a moment of freedom that I didn’t know I needed. I’ve been thinking about you since that night, and I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something special between us.
I would like to invite you to the palace, to talk and spend some time together. I understand that my position complicates things, but I would be grateful for the chance to see you again. Please consider this as an opportunity for us to connect outside the world that often feels so confining.
I eagerly await your response.
Sincerely,A princess who occasionally enjoys karting x
She paused, her pen hovering over the paper as she reread her words. The letter felt both exhilarating and terrifying, the vulnerability of it almost overwhelming. With each stroke of the pen, she was exposing a part of herself that had long been hidden, reaching out into the unknown.
After a moment of hesitation, she signed her name with a flourish, her heart pounding in her chest. This was a step into the uncharted territory of her emotions, and she couldn’t help but feel both empowered and afraid. She folded the letter carefully, her fingers brushing over the elegant paper, and placed it into a matching envelope, sealing it with a royal insignia.
She stood, the letter feeling heavier in her hands than she had anticipated. She made her way to the door, her mind racing with what might come next. As she stepped into the hallway, her heart raced with a mix of excitement and trepidation.
“Where do I take this?” she wondered aloud, glancing around as if the palace would offer her answers. She knew there was a royal messenger who handled correspondence, but she needed to be discreet. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to read her letter before it reached Max.
With a surge of resolve, she walked toward the palace’s administrative wing. The familiar corridors felt both comforting and daunting as she navigated the maze of polished marble and ornate paintings. She approached the door to the office of the royal messenger and knocked lightly.
“Enter,” came a voice from inside.
She pushed the door open, stepping into the warm, well-lit room. The messenger, a middle-aged man with kind eyes, looked up from his desk, his brow raised in surprise. “Your Highness! What a pleasure to see you. How can I assist you today?”
“Good morning,” She greeted him, her voice steady despite the fluttering in her stomach. “I have a letter I would like to send, but it’s quite personal, and I need it to reach its destination without anyone else reading it first.”
The messenger nodded, his expression turning serious. “Of course, Your Highness. You can trust me. Who is it for?”
“It’s for Max,” she replied, a blush creeping up her cheeks as she spoke his name. “I met him at the local karting track.”
“The driver?” he asked, his eyes widening with recognition. “I’ve heard of him. Quite the rising star, I must say. I’ll make sure your letter reaches him directly.”
“Thank you,” She said, feeling a wave of relief wash over her. She handed him the envelope, her heart racing with anticipation. “It’s important that he receives it soon. I was hoping someone could take it to the track in the next hour?”
“Leave it to me,” he assured her, taking the letter with care. “I’ll dispatch it immediately.”
As she turned to leave, a mix of exhilaration and nervousness swirled inside her. With the letter now on its way, she could only hope that Max would respond favourably. The prospect of seeing him again filled her with a sense of hope, a promise of the unknown waiting just beyond the palace walls.
Returning to her room, she sank onto her bed, a nervous excitement buzzing in her veins. What would Max think? Would he feel the same pull she did? The uncertainty loomed large, but deep down, she knew that she was ready to take a leap of faith.
That night, long after the palace had quieted down, a knock on her door startled her. She wasn’t expecting anyone. Her heart leapt into her throat as she crossed the room and opened the door.
Lukas stood there again, holding an envelope. “A reply,” he said, handing it to her.
Her fingers trembled as she took it from him. “Thank you, Lukas,” she whispered, closing the door behind her before returning to her desk.
She sat down, her pulse quickening as she stared at the envelope in her hands. It was simple, unmarked by royal seals or insignias, just her name written in a messy, bold script.
She opened it carefully, her breath catching as she unfolded the letter inside.
Dearest Princess,
I’ll admit, I didn’t expect to hear from you again, especially not like this. But I’m glad you reached out.
I’ve been thinking about everything since last night, trying to wrap my head around all of it—who you are, who I am in relation to your world, and what this means for us. I won’t lie, it’s complicated, and I don’t have all the answers. But I don’t want to leave things the way they are. I don’t want to walk away without understanding what this is between us.
I’d love to come to the palace and talk. We need to figure this out together. And if that means learning more about your world, then I’m willing to do that. Let’s take this one step at a time.
Yours,Max
She let out a breath she didn’t realise she’d been holding, her eyes scanning over his words again and again. He wanted to come. He wasn’t walking away—not yet.
A mixture of relief and nervous excitement coursed through her. It felt like the beginning of something—something real, something honest. But with that also came the fear. The fear of what it would mean for Max to step into her world fully. The fear of what others might say. And, most of all, the fear of what might happen if it all fell apart.
The next few days passed in a blur as the preparations for Max’s visit began. She made sure everything would be perfect—ensuring his accommodations would be private and discreet, arranging a quiet meeting room in one of the less formal wings of the palace where they could talk without interruption. The staff were informed that a guest was arriving, but only Lukas and a few others knew the full story.
Finally, the evening arrived.
She paced her room, feeling a nervous energy she couldn’t quite shake. She had chosen a simple yet elegant outfit—something that felt royal but not overly formal. A soft white dress with delicate lace detailing, understated yet regal. She wanted Max to feel welcome, not overwhelmed.
As the time drew closer, Lukas appeared at her door once more.
“He’s arrived, Your Highness,” he said with a slight bow. “Shall I escort him to the sitting room?”
Her heart raced. “Yes, please,” she said, smoothing her dress one last time. “I’ll meet him there.”
As Lukas left, she took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions swirling inside her. This meeting felt monumental, like it would determine the course of everything between them. But despite the nerves, she knew it had to happen. She couldn’t keep running from her feelings—or from the truth of who she was.
She made her way through the palace, her footsteps echoing lightly in the grand hallways. The sitting room Lukas had chosen was a small, intimate space, with soft lighting and plush chairs that made it feel more like a cosy corner of a home than a grand palace. The fire in the hearth crackled softly, casting a warm glow over the room.
When she stepped inside, Max was already there, standing by the window. He turned when he heard her enter, his face lighting up with a smile that sent a wave of warmth through her.
“Liefje (darling),” he said, his voice soft but filled with relief. “You look… amazing.”
She smiled, feeling a bit of the tension ease. “Thank you. I’m glad you came.”
He crossed the room toward her, and for a moment, they stood there, just looking at each other. There was a charged silence between them, thick with everything unsaid.
“I couldn’t say no,” Max said, his eyes searching hers. “I’ve been thinking about you since last night.”
“Me too,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.
They moved to sit by the fire, the warmth of the flames a contrast to the nerves she felt bubbling up inside her. For a while, the conversation was light—how the drive had been, what he thought of the palace—but there was always an undercurrent, a sense that the real conversation was waiting to happen.
She leaned back in her chair, a small smile tugging at her lips as she studied Max. There was something comforting about sitting across from him now, in the warm glow of the fire, where they could speak openly without the masks they wore in their respective worlds. She tilted her head slightly, her voice soft but playful.
“So… you’re a Formula One driver,” she said, watching his reaction closely.
Max let out a small laugh, shaking his head. “And you’re a princess,” he shot back, his tone just as light. “Guess we both had a few secrets up our sleeves, huh?”
She couldn’t help but smile wider at that. “I suppose we did.”
They sat in the quiet for a moment, the fire crackling between them. She felt a strange mix of relief and vulnerability wash over her—relief that she could finally be herself in front of him, but also the vulnerability of not knowing how he would truly react now that the truth was out. She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts.
“You know,” she started, her fingers tracing the delicate lace of her dress, “it felt… good, not knowing who you were. I mean, back when we first met. I didn’t have to worry about how I was supposed to act, or what you might expect from me.”
Max nodded slowly, leaning forward in his chair, his elbows resting on his knees. “I get that. It’s the same for me. It was… refreshing. You didn’t look at me like ‘Max Verstappen,’ you know? For once, I wasn’t being defined by what I do or how fast I can drive. I could just be… me.”
Her gaze softened as she watched him speak. There was something raw and real in his voice, a vulnerability she hadn’t fully seen before. They were both so used to being seen through a certain lens—the princess, the driver—that neither of them had expected to find someone who saw beyond that.
“I think that’s why I kept coming back to the track,” she admitted quietly. “Because when I was there, I didn’t have to be a princess. I could just be… someone else. Someone freer.”
Max looked at her, his eyes warm with understanding. “Yeah,” he said softly. “I felt the same way. That first night at the track, when we talked, it was just about two people enjoying the moment. No titles, no expectations.”
She smiled, a soft, wistful kind of smile. “It’s strange, isn’t it? The way we met… It felt so normal. Like, for once, I wasn’t carrying this weight of being royalty.”
Max leaned back, his eyes locked on hers. “I think that’s what made it real,” he said. “We weren’t pretending to be anything other than two people in the same place at the same time.”
For a moment, they both fell silent, the conversation settling between them. She felt her heart beating steadily, a sense of calm washing over her despite the intensity of their conversation.
“It’s funny,” Max said after a beat, his lips curving into a small, thoughtful smile. “I’ve spent most of my life trying to get people to notice me. You know, with the racing and everything. But with you… it was different. It didn’t matter that you didn’t know who I was. It felt like, for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t defined by that.”
Her heart softened at his words. She could feel the sincerity in them, the quiet admission of how much it had meant to him, too. She nodded slowly, her eyes meeting his with a shared understanding. “I know what you mean. I’ve been so used to people treating me differently because of my title. But with you… I didn’t have to worry about that. And I liked that.”
Max smiled at her, his expression warm and open. “So, we didn’t know each other’s titles,” he said, his voice low but light. “Maybe that’s why it worked.”
“Maybe,” she echoed, her voice equally soft.
They shared a quiet moment, the firelight casting flickering shadows on the walls. There was a deep sense of ease between them now, an understanding that went beyond the words they’d spoken. The world outside—the palace, the race tracks, the media—none of it mattered in this space they’d created together.
“So, tell me,” Max said, leaning back with a playful grin, “what’s it really like being a princess? All gowns and tiaras?”
She laughed, the sound light and genuine. “Not exactly,” she said, shaking her head. “Though there are plenty of gowns, I’ll admit.”
“And tiaras?” he teased, raising an eyebrow.
“Only on special occasions,” she shot back, a glimmer of mischief in her eyes. “Honestly, it’s mostly a lot of meetings, appearances, and making sure everything is running smoothly.”
Max chuckled. “Sounds a lot like racing. Just, you know, with more… kingdoms.”
They both laughed at that, and for a moment, the heaviness between them lifted. It was like a breath of fresh air, this easy conversation where they could just be two people again, without the weight of the world pressing down on them.
“So, how do I ask a princess on a date?” he asked, the teasing tone in his voice making her heart flutter.
She smiled, but her expression softened slightly as she looked away, her fingers tracing the arm of her chair. “Well… we don’t really go on dates. At least, not in the way you’re probably thinking.” She glanced up at him, almost apologetic.
A flicker of disappointment crossed Max’s face, his brow furrowing just a little. “Oh,” he said, his voice dropping slightly. “I figured it might be more… complicated.”
“It is,” she admitted, biting her lip. “Dates aren’t exactly something I can just do. There’s protocol, public appearances, always someone watching…”
Max sighed, nodding as if he was trying to absorb this new reality. “Yeah, I guess I should’ve known,” he said, his voice quieter now, the teasing gone. “I didn’t really think about how different things are for you.”
For a moment, the weight of their worlds seemed to hang in the air, threatening to pull them back into that chasm of reality that had always loomed between them. But then, a spark of defiance lit up in her chest, the same spark that had driven her to the track in the first place. She looked at him, her heart racing with the sudden realisation that, if this was going to work, they couldn’t be bound by the rules her world normally imposed.
“But…” she began slowly, her eyes locking with his. “None of this is really conventional anyway, is it?”
Max looked up, a flicker of hope returning to his eyes. “What do you mean?”
She felt a surge of excitement rise in her chest. “I mean, who says we have to follow the usual rules? I snuck out of the palace to race go-karts with you. We met as two strangers, not as a princess and a Formula One driver. So why should we start following the rules now?”
Max’s smile grew, lighting up his face as if her words had reignited something inside him. “Are you saying…?”
She grinned, the mischief back in her eyes. “Let’s ring for dinner. Call this our first date.”
Max blinked, caught off guard by her suggestion, then laughed, his whole demeanour brightening. “Dinner in a palace? You’re really raising the bar for a first date.”
Her smile widened, feeling the playful energy return between them. “Well, I don’t do anything halfway, do I?”
Max chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. “Apparently not. But hey, if my first official date with a princess is dinner in a palace, I’ll take it.”
With a gleam in her eye, she stood and moved to the small bell on the wall near the fireplace. She hesitated for a brief second, wondering if she was really doing this, but then a quiet resolve settled over her. She rang the bell, a soft chime echoing through the room.
Within moments, a palace attendant arrived, bowing deeply as they entered. “Your Highness?”
“Could we have dinner brought to the small dining hall, please?” She asked, glancing back at Max with a playful smile. “Something simple.”
The attendant nodded, understanding the subtle request for privacy. “Of course, Your Highness. I’ll see to it right away.”
As the attendant left, she turned back to Max, a mix of excitement and nervousness bubbling inside her. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen next—whether this night would be the beginning of something real or just a brief escape from the complexities of their lives—but for the moment, it felt right.
Max stood, stepping closer to her, a warmth in his eyes that made her heart skip a beat. “I didn’t think I’d be having dinner with a princess tonight,” he said, his voice soft but full of amusement.
She smiled up at him. “And I didn’t think I’d be having dinner with a Formula One driver.” Come with me,” she said softly, her voice full of excitement.
Max raised an eyebrow but didn’t hesitate. He stood, trailing behind her as they left the cosy sitting room and stepped into the quiet, echoing halls of the palace. The air was different out here—cooler, grander, as if the palace itself were holding its breath.
They walked in silence for a few moments, their footsteps the only sound, until she led him to a set of grand, double doors. They were ornate, with intricate carvings along the wood, and as she reached out to push them open, Max could already sense they were about to step into something extraordinary.
The doors creaked open, and Max’s breath caught in his throat.
The dining room before them was massive, its high, vaulted ceilings adorned with gleaming chandeliers that sparkled like stars. Long, elegant curtains draped from floor to ceiling, framing enormous windows that looked out onto the palace gardens, where moonlight bathed the flowers in a silver glow. The room itself seemed to glisten, with golden detailing on the walls and an enormous mahogany table stretching down the centre, polished to perfection.
In the soft candlelight, everything seemed to shimmer, and Max couldn’t help but feel completely out of place in such grandeur. He took a step inside, his eyes wide with wonder.
“Whoa,” he breathed, unable to keep the awe from his voice. “This is… incredible.”
She smiled at his reaction, feeling a strange mix of pride and amusement. She had grown up surrounded by this kind of opulence, but seeing it through Max’s eyes made it feel new and magical again.
“It’s not every day I get to eat here,” she admitted, stepping further into the room. “Usually it’s reserved for state dinners, or formal events. But tonight…” She turned to look at him, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. “Tonight, it’s just for us.”
Max blinked, shaking his head as if he still couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. “Just for us?” he repeated, glancing around the vast room as if he needed confirmation. “You’ve got to be kidding me. This place is like a scene out of a movie.”
She laughed softly, walking over to the long table and taking a seat at one of the chairs that had already been set with plates and cutlery. “It can feel like that sometimes,” she admitted, gesturing for him to join her.
Max hesitated for a moment, still trying to wrap his mind around where he was. He’d been to plenty of fancy places in his career—exclusive parties, high-end restaurants, luxurious hotels—but none of it compared to this. The sheer scale of the room, the way everything seemed to shimmer in the candlelight, the weight of centuries of history pressing in on him… it was overwhelming.
But when he looked over at her, sitting there with a warm smile on her face, it all seemed to fade away. She wasn’t the princess in this moment. She was just a girl who enjoyed karting, inviting him to share a meal with her. And that was enough to ground him.
He took a deep breath and walked over to the table, sitting across from her. “Okay,” he said, his voice lighter now. “I’m officially impressed.”
She chuckled, pouring them both a glass of wine. “I thought you might be.”
Max took the glass she handed him and looked around the room again, still a little in disbelief.
The attendant returned briefly to set down their meal—elegant but simple dishes, as she had requested—before leaving them in privacy once again. The quiet in the room was soft, comforting, as if the vastness of the space only made their intimate dinner feel even more special.
They ate slowly, their conversation flowing as naturally as it had in the cosier sitting room. But now, the grandeur of their surroundings added a new layer to the evening—an unspoken acknowledgment that this was no ordinary dinner, and they were no ordinary people. Yet, in the midst of all that opulence, there was something wonderfully real about the moment.
At one point, Max set his fork down and just stared at her, a smile tugging at his lips. “You know,” he said, leaning back in his chair, “I still can’t believe we ended up here. I mean, a few days ago, I was just some guy at a karting track. And now I’m having dinner in a palace with you.”
She looked at him, her heart warming at the wonder in his voice. “It’s surreal, isn’t it?” she agreed softly. “It feels like… I’ve been living two lives. There’s the princess part of me that follows all the rules, attends all the meetings, and stays within the lines. And then there’s the part of me that just wanted to sneak out, race, and be free for a little while.”
Max nodded, his expression softening. “I get that,” he said, his voice thoughtful. “I’ve spent so much time in the spotlight that I almost forgot what it’s like to just… exist, without people knowing who I am. When I met you, I wasn’t the driver, and you weren’t the princess. We were just… us.”
She smiled at him, a warm, appreciative smile that made her chest tighten. “I needed that,” she admitted quietly. “I needed to just be me for a while. And you gave me that.”
Max’s eyes softened, and he reached across the table, his hand resting lightly over hers. “Well, for what it’s worth,” he said gently, “I like both sides of you. The princess… and the one who sneaks out to race go-karts.”
She felt her heart swell at his words, a sense of warmth and connection settling deep within her. She squeezed his hand softly, feeling the sincerity in his touch, in his gaze.
Leaning back slightly, a playful glint returning to her eyes. “Well,” she said lightly, “since this is our first official date, I think we’ve set the bar pretty high.”
Max chuckled, nodding. “Yeah, I don’t know how I’m going to top this. Next time, we’ll have to settle for a quiet dinner at a small café or something.”
“Next time?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
Max grinned, leaning forward with a mischievous look. “I’m definitely hoping there’s a next time.”
She laughed, her heart light. “We’ll see,” she teased. But as she looked at him, she couldn’t help but feel a quiet hope blooming in her chest.
After dinner, the air between them was lighter, and she found herself not wanting the night to end just yet. The palace had a stillness about it that felt peaceful, and for once, the weight of her title didn’t seem so heavy. She stood from the table and glanced at Max, a small glint in her eyes.
“Fancy a walk?” she asked, nodding toward the large doors that led to the palace grounds.
Max grinned, standing and adjusting his jacket. “A walk sounds perfect.”
They stepped out into the cool night air, the garden illuminated by soft lights along the paths. The scent of jasmine and roses filled the air, and the trees swayed gently in the breeze. It felt as though they had the entire world to themselves, cocooned in the serenity of the palace gardens.
They walked side by side, their conversation easy and full of laughter. She pointed out little details about the gardens—her favourite hidden nooks, the ancient trees, and even a small stone bench where she liked to sit when she needed a moment of quiet. Max listened intently, his eyes occasionally drifting from the scenery to her, a fond smile never far from his lips.
As they reached a quiet clearing, the palace loomed behind them, and the soft glow of the distant main gate flickered ahead. The night seemed to wrap around them, the world growing smaller, more intimate.
“It's beautiful here,” Max said softly, glancing around, but his gaze eventually settled on her. “You’re beautiful.”
She felt a warmth rise in her chest, her heart fluttering at his words. She looked up at him, a soft smile playing on her lips. “I’m glad you’re here,” she whispered.
They stopped walking, standing close now, the soft sound of the wind in the trees surrounding them. For a moment, neither of them spoke, the space between them narrowing with each passing second. Max’s eyes flicked to her lips, and he stepped forward, his breath catching as he moved closer.
Her heart pounded in her chest, her pulse quickening as his hand gently brushed against hers. His eyes searched hers, asking a question without saying a word. Her breath hitched, and just as their lips were about to meet, a low, deliberate sound broke the silence—a throat clearing, deep and authoritative.
Max froze, eyes widening as he quickly stepped back. He turned toward the sound, his face flushing with sudden embarrassment.
Standing near the main gate, half-shadowed by the dim light, was Lukas.
“Your Highness,” Lukas said, his voice calm but pointed as he stepped forward, his face unreadable. “I believe it’s time to return to the palace.”
Max stared at Lukas, his heart racing. “Uh… right.” He scratched the back of his head, clearly caught off guard. “I didn’t realise we had an audience.”
She pressed her lips together, trying to stifle a laugh at Max’s obvious discomfort. She turned to him, her voice soft but full of amusement. “I forgot to mention…” She glanced at Lukas, who stood waiting patiently. “Lukas was here the whole time.”
Max blinked, the colour rushing to his face. “Wait—what?”
She smiled, her eyes twinkling. “He’s my personal guard. He’s always nearby. Even when you don’t notice.”
Max looked from her to Lukas, processing this new information, his embarrassment deepening. “So, you’re telling me that… the whole time we were walking around…?”
“Yep,” she said, biting her lip to keep from laughing.
Max shook his head, chuckling despite himself. “Well, that’s good to know,” he said, his voice filled with a mixture of awkwardness and humour. “Nothing like a royal guard to remind you of your place.”
Lukas stepped forward, his expression stoic, but there was a hint of understanding in his eyes. “It’s my job to make sure Her Highness is safe, Mr. Verstappen. I hope you understand.”
Max nodded quickly, trying to play it cool. “Of course. No problem at all. Just… wasn’t expecting a third wheel.”
“You know,” she said, her voice light, “you didn’t have to hover quite so close the whole time. I think I can manage a walk around the garden without needing a royal escort.”
Lukas raised an eyebrow, his expression unchanged but the slightest glint of amusement flashing in his eyes. “My duty is to your safety, Your Highness,” he said smoothly. “And besides, someone has to make sure certain race car drivers don’t get too carried away.”
She laughed softly, shaking her head. “You could at least give me a moment,” she teased. “It wouldn’t hurt to, I don’t know, turn around for a bit?”
Lukas met her gaze, the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth now. He considered her for a moment, then gave a small nod. “Fifteen seconds,” he said, deadpan. “No more, no less.”
Her eyes widened slightly, both surprised and amused that he had actually agreed. She glanced at Max, who had stopped a few steps behind, watching the exchange with curiosity.
“You heard him,” she said, turning toward Max with a grin. “We’ve got fifteen seconds.”
Max blinked in surprise, a slow smile spreading across his face as he realised what was happening. “Wait, what—”
“Starting now,” Lukas interrupted, turning his back to them, his hands clasped behind him. “Fourteen… thirteen…”
Without wasting another second, she stepped toward Max, grabbing his jacket and pulling him down toward her. Their lips met in a sudden rush of heat, the kiss filled with the passion that had been building between them all night. There was no hesitation, no shyness—just the raw intensity of finally being somewhat alone, even if only for a brief moment.
Max wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer, his heart pounding in his chest. The world seemed to fall away, the grandeur of the palace, the weight of their titles—all of it disappeared as they kissed under the quiet night sky.
She melted into him, her hands sliding up to his neck as the kiss deepened. It was everything they hadn’t said, all the emotions they hadn’t dared to speak, pouring into that one stolen moment.
Lukas' steady voice started counting down, reminding them that their time was limited. “Eight… seven…”
But they didn’t pull away. Instead, Max kissed her more fervently, as if he could hold on to these last few seconds forever.
“Four… three…”
She smiled into the kiss, her heart racing, and she could feel Max’s smile against her lips too. The thrill of sneaking in this moment only made it sweeter.
“One,” Lukas’ voice said, just as she and Max finally broke apart, both of them breathless and laughing.
Max chuckled softly, his forehead resting against hers as he caught his breath. “That was the fastest fifteen seconds of my life.”
She laughed, her cheeks flushed, and she glanced over at Lukas, who was still facing away, clearly giving them the privacy he had promised. “You’re not wrong,” she whispered, still catching her breath. “But worth every second.”
Lukas, with impeccable timing, turned back around, his face impassive as if nothing had happened, though she swore she saw the faintest trace of a smile.
“Time’s up,” Lukas said, his voice steady. “I trust you made good use of it.”
She grinned, biting her lip. “I think we did.”
Max laughed again, running a hand through his hair, his embarrassment from earlier completely gone. The kiss had left him lightheaded, and the laughter between them made the moment feel less like a stolen secret and more like something beautifully real.
“Thanks for the, uh… window of opportunity,” Max said, glancing at Lukas, his eyes filled with gratitude and amusement.
Lukas gave a small nod, his eyes meeting hers. “Anything for Her Highness,” he said, his tone a perfect blend of formality and knowing humour.
Max looked at her, his expression softening. “I’ll be thinking about those fifteen seconds for a while,” he said, his voice low, but filled with sincerity.
She smiled, her heart full. “So will I.”
They shared one last look, a silent promise in the air between them, before Lukas gently stepped forward, signalling it was time for them to head back. As they turned toward the palace, Max shot her a playful wink, still clearly riding the high of their stolen kiss.
Her heart soared, a mix of happiness and hope swirling inside her as they walked away from the gate. The world around her felt lighter, brighter, and despite the complexities of their lives, in that moment, everything felt right.
And as they walked in the silence of the palace grounds, she couldn’t stop herself from glancing over her shoulder, her eyes locking with Max’s for just a second longer, both of them smiling at the memory of their passionate, stolen kiss.
She laughed softly, reaching out to touch Max’s arm. “You get used to it,” she said gently, her eyes meeting his with a knowing look. “He’s just looking out for me.”
Max exhaled, his embarrassment slowly fading as he smiled at her. “Guess I’ll have to be on my best behaviour, then.”
Lukas stood back, watching their interaction, and for a moment, it seemed like he was content to let them finish their goodbyes.
She stepped closer to Max, her hand still resting lightly on his arm. “Thank you for tonight,” she said, her voice quiet and sincere.
Max’s expression softened, his gaze lingering on her. “Thank you for dinner,” he said, a playful smile tugging at his lips. “And for the… unexpected company.”
She laughed, the sound light and warm, and for a brief moment, they were alone in their little world again, even with Lukas nearby.
“I’ll see you soon?” Max asked, his voice filled with hope.
She nodded, her heart skipping a beat. “Yes,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “Soon.”
With one last look, Max smiled and turned to leave, walking back toward the main gate. She watched him go, her heart full but heavy at the same time. She wanted nothing more than to stay in this bubble with him, but reality, as always, had a way of intruding.
As Max disappeared into the night, she let out a long breath, feeling the weight of the world settle back onto her shoulders. She turned to Lukas, who had remained silent, his eyes watching her closely.
“You like him,” Lukas said, his tone soft but observant.
She sighed, nodding as she wrapped her arms around herself. “I do,” she admitted, her voice laced with uncertainty. “But I don’t know how this is going to work, Lukas. It’s… complicated.”
Lukas stepped closer, his expression gentle. “Complicated doesn’t mean impossible, Your Highness.”
She looked at him, a small smile tugging at her lips. “You always know what to say, don’t you?”
He gave a slight bow, the corners of his mouth lifting ever so slightly. “It’s part of the job.”
part four...
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Muggle Pills
Pairings: Poly!marauders x disabled!reader Summary: The boys learn what your pills do. Warnings: Mentions of seizures, depression and suicidal thoughts Series Masterlist
You sit cross-legged on the plush carpet of your bedroom floor, a small pile of pill boxes scattered around you. Your fingers move with practiced ease as you sort the pills into their respective compartments in a weekly divider—Monday through Sunday, morning, noon, and night.
It's a routine task, one that offers a strange sense of solace amidst the chaos of everything else. Plus, it saves you from the struggle of prying open blister packs every day.
Around you, the Marauders lounge about as if this were any other lazy afternoon. Sirius flips idly through a Quidditch magazine, his brows furrowing at an article about the latest racing broom. James lies sprawled out across your bed, tossing a Quaffle up and down while he debates strategy. Remus sits quietly in a corner, engrossed in a book, a sliver of sunlight illuminating the dust motes dancing around him. Your room has become their second home, just as comfortable and familiar as their dormitory.
They've grown accustomed to these quiet moments together, each occupied with their own thoughts or interests. And yet today, something shifts. A question hangs in the air, unspoken but palpable.
James is the first to break the silence, his voice cutting through the soft hum of activity. "Y/N?" He pauses, catching himself before the words tumble out unchecked. His gaze flickers over to where you sit, still dividing your medication for the week ahead. "Why... why do you take all those? Like, on top of the potions?"
For a moment, time seems to stretch thin, the seconds elongating as you weigh your answer. They've seen you like this before—pills in hand, water glass nearby—but never asked. Not until now. Something about the directness of the question gives you pause, but then you realize: they deserve to know. Especially now, when lines have blurred and friendships have blossomed into something more intimate, more profound.
"Right," you begin, letting out a breath you didn't realize you'd been holding. Your fingers trace the edge of the first pill box—a small, round tablet that's more crucial to your daily life than any potion or spell could ever be. "This one is for my blood pressure."
James, Sirius and Remus lean in closer, their attention rapt despite the seemingly mundane topic. The significance isn't lost on them; every detail about you feels important now, woven into the fabric of their care.
"It's always been too low," you explain, eyes downcast as if you're sharing some great secret. Perhaps it is, in its own way. An admission of frailty, of the battle you wage within your body each day. "If I don't take this, I get dizzy... faint sometimes."
A flicker of understanding passes across James's face, then Sirius's. They've seen you like that before, pale and unsteady in the corridors during your early years at Hogwarts. At the time, they'd chalked it up to nerves or fatigue—anything but a chronic condition. But now...
"Wait," Sirius says, his voice rough with concern. "Are those fainting spells why you had to go back to the hospital wing so often?"
You nod, a hint of relief washing over you. It's easier than you thought it would be, opening up about this part of your life. Maybe because they listen without judgement, accepting each revelation as another piece of the puzzle that is you.
"Yes. That was before I started taking this," you say, tapping the pill box lightly.
Sirius leans back slightly, processing this new information with a furrowed brow. He opens his mouth to speak again, but Remus beats him to it.
"Do you still feel like you might pass out even with the medication?" His tone is gentle yet probing, respectful of your boundaries but curious all the same.
"Sometimes." You shrug, trying to downplay the gravity of what living with such unpredictability means. "But it's better than before."
Remus nods, storing away this tidbit of knowledge like he does with everything else. He understands, perhaps better than anyone, what it means to navigate the world with a body that doesn't quite cooperate. And while your experiences are vastly different, there's a silent kinship in shared struggle—a bond forged through resilience and endurance.
"Next is this one." Your fingers move to a different compartment, closing around another pill. "It's for my heart rate."
Their brows furrow almost in unison, confusion etching lines across their young faces. You suppose it must be strange for them, hearing about the inner workings of your body when all they've ever known are charms and potions, Quidditch injuries and common colds.
"But isn't that connected to your blood pressure?" James asks, his forehead creased as he tries to make sense of it all.
"In a way, yes," you explain, appreciating his attempt to understand. "But while the first medication helps raise my blood pressure, this one keeps my resting heart rate from getting too high."
"That doesn't sound pleasant," Sirius chimes in, leaning back against the couch with a sigh. Although he's always been more comfortable with banter than serious conversations, there's an earnestness in his expression that speaks volumes about how much he cares.
"It's not something I feel most of the time," you admit, setting the second pill aside. "I don't really notice unless I forget to take it or if I'm especially stressed out. But without it, my heart behaves like I'm running even when I'm sitting still."
You let the implication hang in the air, a testament to the silent battles waged beneath your skin. A hush falls over the room, punctuated only by the occasional crackle of the fire. The boys exchange glances, each processing your revelation in their own way. From the corner of your eye, you see James run a hand through his already messy hair, a gesture betraying his unease.
"I remember once," you begin again, your voice barely above a whisper, "I got a concussion in school, no big deal but headed the A&E to be checked out, and I ended up being admitted because my heart rate was over 180 beats per minute and wouldn't come down. They were so alarmed, kept asking me if I felt okay..."
The memory is vivid, etched into your mind with sharp clarity. The steady beep of monitors, the worried faces of doctors—reminders of just how fragile human bodies can be.
"And did you?" Sirius interrupts, his grey eyes reflecting the flickering flames.
"Did I what?"
"Feel okay? Or were you..." He trails off, unable to finish the sentence. It's clear to see why; the notion of such turmoil within you, unbeknownst to them until now, is unsettling to say the least.
"I mean, my head was killing me but otherwise, I felt fine," you state, "but that doesn't mean it's safe to ignore."
There's a pause as they digest your words, the gravity of what you're sharing settling heavy in the silence. Remus shifts slightly beside you, his gaze thoughtful. As ever, he seems to carry an understanding beyond his years—a quiet wisdom born from living in the shadows.
"When we were in the hospital wing together in first and second year—you know, after the full moon and your... episodes," he begins cautiously, mindful of the delicate territory he's treading on. "Was this part of it? Your heart thing?"
You shake your head, offering him a small smile. "While I did have the heart rate as a problem, that's not why I was there."
Remus nods slowly, absorbing this new information. His brow furrows, not in judgement but in concern—a silent question lingering behind his amber eyes. How much more is there to learn?
"Right," you say, moving on to the next pill. It's a small orange capsule and looks innocuous enough, but its role is no less vital than the others. "This one's for my epilepsy."
"Epilepsy?" James blurts out, his eyes widening at the revelation.
The room goes quiet, save for the crackling of the fire in the background. Sirius and James exchange glances, their expressions mirroring the unease that hangs in the air.
You nod, acknowledging his surprise with a wry smile. "It helps prevent seizures. But it's not foolproof. I regularly have atonic seizures still, they only last a few seconds and nothing needs to be done with those. I don't really have big ones anymore, but when I get sick or stressed—or before I got my implant, when I had my period—I can still have them."
"How long have you..." James starts, then clears his throat, struggling to find the right words. "How long have you had epilepsy?"
"Basically my whole life," you answer simply. "But it's mostly managed now. The stress of exams and assignments can trigger the big seizures sometimes, but most people don't notice."
Sirius frowns, running a hand through his hair. "Have you had any since getting with us?"
"I mean, I've had little ones but not any big ones." You reach over to squeeze his hand reassuringly before letting go. "But during last year, I did have several because of the stress of OWLs."
His grip tightens around yours, concern etched into every line of his face. It's strange, seeing Sirius so unguarded, his usual bravado replaced by raw vulnerability. But then again, nothing about this situation is ordinary.
"You never told us," James says quietly, meeting your gaze with an intensity that leaves no room for doubt. He's not accusing, merely stating a fact—one that seems unthinkable given how close you all are.
"I didn't want to worry you, you were just my friends then," you admit, looking down at your hands. "Besides, you three were so focused on your own exams. You wouldn't have noticed even if you tried."
There's truth to your words, but they do little to ease the guilt that flashes across James's features, and Sirius remains silent, his grey eyes clouded with thought. Both boys are processing this new information, trying to reconcile the image of you—a force of nature, unbowed despite everything—with the reality of your condition.
Remus, who has been listening silently, finally speaks up. "I remember... those nights in the hospital wing when we were younger. I'd be in there because of the full moon, you'd be there because of a seizure…"
"Or worse," you say, almost to yourself. "To be honest, I was also there because no one trusted that I wouldn't try to kill myself, and no healer or doctor would give an 11-year-old birth control for their PMDD. I got the implant at 14, and the seizures went away with my period, as did the temptation to kill myself."
James blinks, stunned into silence. "I never knew any of this," he says at last, his voice barely above a whisper.
"By the time we became proper friends, I already had the implant. There was no reason to tell you about something that was no longer a problem." You give him a reassuring smile.
James nods slowly, although the concern has not entirely left his eyes. Sirius, too, seems pensive as he stares into the fireplace, blowing out a slow breath. Only Remus appears unchanged, his expression calm and thoughtful, as if the revelations were expected.
"Right," you say, taking a deep breath as you reach for the final pill box, a small white container that holds a different kind of lifeline. "This one's my antidepressant."
The change in atmosphere is almost palpable as James and Sirius stiffen beside you. Remus, ever the stoic observer, merely watches.
"Is that... because of everything else?" asks Sirius tentatively, his grey eyes searching yours for answers. You can tell he's treading carefully now, aware that this conversation has ventured into territory far more delicate than any duel or prank gone wrong.
"Yeah," you reply, letting out a long exhale. "It helps manage the lows, but it's not foolproof. Nothing really is."
James's thumb brushes over the back of your hand, tracing patterns there as if trying to will away the pain etched between your words. He doesn't speak, but his silence carries its own weight, heavy with understanding.
"You're not always..." James starts, then stops, uncertain how to phrase his question without sounding insensitive.
"Depressed?" you finish for him, offering a wry smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes. "Not always, no. But when I am... well, let's just say it's better for everyone involved that I have these."
Your fingers tap against the pill bottle, the sound echoing lightly through the room.
A moment passes before Sirius breaks the silence. "And do they work? The pills, I mean." There's a hopeful note to his voice, laced with a quiet desperation that mirrors the way his eyes never leave your face.
"For the most part," you admit. "But like I said, they're not perfect. They help keep things under control, but they don't make my symptoms go away entirely. And some days are harder than others."
You pause, considering how best to explain what living with depression feels like—the relentless heaviness that often threatens to pull you under despite the medication designed to keep you afloat.
"It's like walking through a storm," you say finally. "Most days, the meds are like a good coat—they keep the worst of the rain off. But sometimes the storm gets too strong, and all the coat can do is stop you from getting completely soaked."
"Merlin," James breathes, running a hand through his hair as he processes your words. "Have you been dealing with all this since..."
"Birth?" you supply, nodding once. "Pretty much, yeah."
"Since you were a baby?" Sirius asks, his voice rough with disbelief. "How long have you been taking all these pills?"
"I was little when I was put on the epilepsy meds," you admit, "but the others were added as new conditions developed."
"And what happens if you forget to take one?" James's tone is gentle, but there's an underlying urgency that betrays his worry. "What's the worst that could happen?"
"Well, missing a dose here and there isn't the end of the world, usually." You shrug, trying to make light of it, though the truth is more complex. "But if I go too long without them... Let's just say it can lead to some serious complications."
Remus watches you, his gaze steady and thoughtful. "It must be exhausting," he says quietly, "keeping track of all this, making sure you're always taking the right thing at the right time. Especially with the potions you use for your pain."
"It's a lot," you agree, not seeing any point in denying it. "But the alternative..." Your voice trails off as you picture yourself without the medication: the pain, the fatigue, the despair. "Let's just say I'm grateful for muggle and wizarding medicine, even if it doesn't fix everything."
The words hang heavy in the air, a quiet echo of your confession ringing in the stillness of the room. The boys sit with straight spines and furrowed brows, each processing what you've just shared in their own way. For a moment, no one speaks, the silence filled only by the crackling fire and the soft patter of rain against the window.
The world of pills and doctors is foreign to them, so far removed from the magical healing they know. They are warriors in their own right, but this is a battle they do not understand, cannot see. It's in the lines that etch deeper into Sirius' forehead, the way his fists clench at his sides—not with anger towards you, but with a burning frustration for an enemy he cannot confront.
"I can't believe we didn't know," James finally breaks the silence, his voice barely above a whisper. It's not an accusation, merely a statement laced with self-reproach. But there's no need for you to respond; the truth of it hangs in the air around you. How could they have known? You've become a master at concealing the extent of your pain, hiding behind masks of normalcy even when your body screamed otherwise.
Sirius shifts slightly, and his voice is quiet when he finally breaks the silence, a note of confusion threading through the words.
"Why didn't you say something before?" It's not an accusation, just a question born from concern and a hint of hurt. Sirius has never liked being left in the dark, especially when it comes to those he cares about.
"I didn't want to worry you," your voice barely rises above a whisper, carrying with it a weight that sinks into the silence of the room. "And knowing doesn't change anything." You glance at them, each face mirroring the gravity of your confession. "It's not like any of you can fix it."
James looks as if he wants to argue, to insist that there must be something they can do. But he remains silent, understanding—for now—the boundaries you've put in place. Relief briefly washes over you, even as you see the frustration flicker in his hazel eyes. James has always been a man of action, someone who leaps forward to shield those he loves from harm. To know there's a wound he can't mend must feel like salt on an open cut.
"I don't need you to fix it," you say gently, guessing his thoughts. "I just need you to understand."
Remus nods, his face softening as he speaks for the first time in a while. "And we do," he says quietly, his voice calm and reassuring. "Or at least, we're starting to."
There's a pause as the four of you absorb this shared understanding, a quiet acknowledgement that hangs in the air like a promise. You can almost feel the shift in the room, tangible and real, a subtle strengthening of the bonds between you. They may not fully comprehend your reality, but they're reaching out, trying to bridge the gap. And for now, at least, it's enough.
The fire dances in the hearth, painting the room with flickering shadows and bathing you all in its comforting glow. For a moment, everything else falls away, leaving only the crackling flames, the soft murmur of conversation, and the sense of peace that seems to settle over the world outside.
You finish sorting your pills into their designated compartments, the rhythm of the task grounding you. The lid of the weekly pill organizer closes with a satisfying click, a small victory against the chaos that often threatens to consume you. It’s a simple act, but in these uncertain times, even the smallest semblance of control is a lifeline.
James, ever the man of action even in stillness, shifts on the bed, leaning closer. His voice is a low rumble, steady and sure. "You know we're here, right?" It's not just a question—it's a tether, a lifeline thrown out to you in the darkness. And it's a promise, one that James Potter has every intention of keeping.
Sirius doesn't let himself be left behind, his own hand reaching out to touch yours lightly. There's something almost reverent in the gesture, as if he's afraid you'll shatter at a heavier touch. "We're not going anywhere." The words hang in the air, solidifying into a pact made of iron will and unyielding loyalty. His grey eyes are hard with resolve, the decision made long before the words had even left his lips: He will stay by your side, through this and whatever comes next.
Remus doesn't say anything more, but the silence that stretches between you is far from empty. His gaze never wavers, each exhale a testament to the quiet vigil he keeps. He understands, perhaps better than anyone, the battles waged in silence, the wars fought within oneself. And though he doesn't speak, his presence is a constant reassurance—there, always there, offering strength when yours threatens to wane.
#james potter x reader#remus lupin x reader#sirius black x reader#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders x you#marauders era#marauders fanfic#marauders fanfiction#moonsandmobilityaids
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disquiet comfort / neighbors
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On a cold winter's day in the early morning hours, you knock on your neighbor Captain John Price's door to make a noise complaint. - You give a sudden, high-pitched cry, one that abruptly cuts off. - ao3
John hears the creak of your bed springs the next morning.
He’s not surprised by it—you’re not the first neighbor he’s had, only the first he’s met. He knows how thin the walls are now, and has long passed the point of finding it annoying. He listens as the sound of your taps coming on filters through drywall and insulation at a low hum, thinks he can hear the buzz of an electric toothbrush. He wonders if you can hear his razor going as he trims his mustache.
It feels nice to have this odd company, he thinks. The two of you, going through the same motions. It strikes an old, abandoned chord—he hasn’t woken up with anyone in a long, long time.
He puts his razor down and squashes the thought flat. His neighbor—his kind, pretty neighbor—does not need him to think like that. Even if your eyes had traveled the length and breadth of his body before making it to his face.
He meets his own eyes in the mirror, giving himself a flat look. He isn’t used to civilian life. Answering the door shirtless had probably been some sort of faux pas. If you’d been looking, you’d probably been more disconcerted than anything else. That’s the long and short of it, he tells himself, because there’s no room for anything else.
John is never very good at being home. The things that keep him alive out there—hyperawareness, sharply defined mission parameters, strict operational regimens—are, at home, needs that go unmet. Liverpool is not a popular terrorist hotbed he needs to pay attention to. He isn’t going to die if he forgets to buy milk. And he can only go to the gym so often.
But he needs something to do, or he’s going to go crazy.
So today he does on leave what he dreams of in the field: he has his first of two showers for the day, makes himself breakfast in his own kitchen, and turns on the telly for the noise. It’s some dumb morning show, with too-clean hosts shilling for weird kitchen tools. Easy to ignore.
Inevitably, he thinks about Mexico. About Shepherd. About Chicago, and Hassan, and Laswell telling him he needs to get some goddamn rest before he kills himself trying to stop a war that isn’t even happening.
“Yet,” he’d ground out.
She’d just stared at him with dagger-sharp eyes and told him to go home.
John bites into his toast harder than a grown man told to take a fucking vacation should, and turns up the volume.
Three soft, polite taps sound on the wall.
John blinks. Remembers the previous morning, what he’d said to you. The remote is in his hand before he thinks about it, the mute button depressed beneath a quick thumb.
The quiet is like the end of a gunfight. Unsteady.
He waits. He doesn’t know what for. The silence stretches. He notices a shaft of sunlight coming through his window, little motes of dust dancing in the air, as he looks around his own flat for some reason. It’s habit—surveying a battlefield after it’s been passed over by violence.
He looks back to the space above the TV. Rises carefully from his seat. Goes over to the wall.
Raps his knuckles twice against it. All good?
Immediately there are two taps in response. Yes, thanks! And the break of the still silence is like a soap bubble popping. John breathes, and then realizes he hadn’t been.
There are no further knocks. It disappoints him, but he does not expect them. It’s just a friendly interaction between neighbors.
It doesn’t matter. It feels like something has unknotted in his chest.
He feels almost like a voyeur as the day goes on. He hears when you work in your kitchen, notes the muffled clang of a pan on the stove. He hears your dishwasher run later, and briefly wonders at the utility of using it for so few dishes.
You’re on the phone at one point, but he can’t make out the conversation. He only half-tries to, but the even the indistinct, low sound of your voice is comforting. It reminds him of late nights in the barracks, listening to bunk mates talk while trying not bother anyone else. The closest to domestic comfort John has really ever had.
You turn music on at one point, something soulful and a little moody. John thinks it might be Marvin Gaye, but he’s not sure. The urge to knock on your door and ask is a strong one, but he doesn’t think you need a lonely old soldier bothering you in the middle of your day. At least, not any more than he already has. And before he can figure it out for himself, he hears you exclaim “Oh, shit!” and the volume immediately drops.
He has to smile at that. It’s a rare luxury for him to experience these days, that kind of consideration.
Something in his chest gives a little jump when he hears two knocks on his wall again. Sorry, he thinks you’re saying.
He knocks twice back. All good.
He should not feel so invigorated by this exchange.
You leave the house a little after noon—he hears your door open and close, and the jingle of keys followed by footsteps quickly retreating. Then, your noise is gone.
John and silence do not go well together. Too quickly, the quiet closes in, and John thinks if he stays in his own home a minute longer he’ll suffocate from it—so he takes your cue, and leaves. He isn’t really sure what to do, but he has to do it anywhere else.
He gets home after you do, sore from the weight racks and full on pub food and a few pints. The sky is dark and the sidewalks are illuminated in yellow lamplight, and the air hums with the wind of cars driving in the distance. He sees your window lit up bright and warm, and the relief it fills him with is disproportionate to how anyone should feel knowing that their neighbor is home.
Where did you go during the day, he finds himself wondering? What are you making for dinner? What will you do once you’ve eaten?
John realizes he’s standing there staring at your window, and scowls at himself. He’s a fucking creep, that’s what he is. A pretty neighbor talks to him once, fucking welcomes him home like any nice person would, and suddenly he’s pining like a stupid little schoolboy.
He goes inside. Hears you in your kitchen again and convinces himself he’s ignoring it. Tries to find something to stay awake with. Has one cigar more than he’d planned for the day, and thinks at least he’ll get to go out and get more sooner—something to do with the wealth of time he didn’t ask to receive.
He’s already in bed, second shower finished, when he hears activity on the other side of the wall. He hadn’t really been falling asleep, but he’s wide awake now, and feeling like a pervert as he listens to your bath come on.
He hasn’t gone to bed with anyone in a long time, either.
John lays there in the dark, eyes open, and tries to ignore how easy it is to breathe as the water runs muffled only a few feet away. He doesn’t acknowledge the fact that he can hear again the tiny buzz of a toothbrush a little after the flow shuts off. He listens to the creak of your bed and does not think about how warm your skin must be, how softly the sheets must fall around your body.
He closes his eyes. He tries to sleep. He isn’t thinking about listening to your breathing beside him. He isn’t drifting off imagining the smell of your hair on his pillow…
He hears a tiny buzz again. Brushing your teeth a second time? No, it’s closer now…
Oh. OH.
John’s eyes fly open. Your bed creaks again. He is rigid under the covers, every muscle tensed. He breathes consciously, testing the limits of his diaphragm, counting to three between each inhale and exhale. He is desperate that his pulse remain even, that his blood refrain from rushing through his ears and other parts.
A small sound. Breathy. Low.
John slaps his hand against his thigh before it can move any further inward. He curls his fingers around the hem of his briefs, grips the fabric as if it’s going to save his damn life. Clenches his other hand into a fist, digs his nails into his palm.
What expression is on your face? What is the scent of your toothpaste on your breath?
What angle are you holding that vibrator at?
You give a low moan again.
His breath shallows out. John considers giving the wall a tap but dismisses the option immediately and ruthlessly. He will take his secret audience to the fucking grave. And he’d shoot himself before denying you this—and, he thinks shamefully, denying himself this, too.
He should get up. He should go into his living room and give you privacy. Your bed creaks again. He remembers his own mattress tends to the same disruption. He can’t move, because it would effect the same outcome as a knock—you’d know exactly how thin the walls are, know that he’s right there and that he’s only leaving after he’s already gotten an earful.
Another sound, higher. John isn’t sure he’s breathing anymore. What did your skin feel like? Would his fingers fit you better than that toy? Would his cock?
He thinks he feels a nail break skin. He tries to think of anything other than the throb of blood and heat between his legs, between your legs.
You give a sudden, high-pitched cry, one that abruptly cuts off.
John knows you’ve buried your face in your pillow to quiet yourself. His entire body twinges with the disappointment of it. He breathes so lowly as to be silent, to give space to your noise, and waits.
But the buzzing stops. Your bed shifts again, and then all is silent.
Wait. What?
Was that it?
The silence stretches. John does not move. That was it.
John does not think about how much longer he could’ve made that last. He does not think about teasing you with his hands, his lips, his tongue. Does not picture your legs hung up high on his hips.
His cock aches. He ignores it.
The gym tomorrow. And then a run. Maybe a drive to the coast, and a dip in the cold ocean.
It wouldn’t be enough, but it had to be something. John isn’t going to get a minute of sleep, and he’s going to be hearing that cut-off moan for a long, long time.
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