#mostly worried about trees falling on the house

[jakemyboy]

Doing fine in the storm so far. The winds are the scary thing right now. Another huge band of rain is supposed to wallop us about 5:00am. Blu's loving it! He constantly wants to go outside, caught him lying on his outside cot in the wind and rain tonight. Weirdo! 😆

[hollandsangel]

casual | m. sturniolo

i’ve been scheming for weeks !! (actually started this before move over AND voice. so.)

basically i’m obsessed with this song

summary: the most dangerous label is the casual one; or you both want more

warnings: matt x fem!reader, use of y/n, ANGST, cursing, happy ending bc i’m a sucker & a lost cause

wc: 6.5k

the sun is dipping behind the horizon, painting the sky pink and orange. you have your window rolled down, letting the salt air breeze pick your hair up as you rest against the car door. matt has elmer’s new song playing on aux, something lofi with a bit of spanish mixed in.

“like what you see?” he speaks up, taking his eyes off the road for a second to look over at you. he stares for a second, your skin illuminated by the fading rays of the sun, kissing the tops of your cheeks and giving you a warm glow.

you press yourself up to sit properly and catch his hand resting on the center console. you always loved that he drives with his left hand, the right always close enough for you to touch. 

“it’s pretty,” you say, poking your head back out of the window, looking overhead at the passing trees, “the palms are so tall.” matt squeezes your hand, and when you look back up he’s already looking at you, smiling when you meet his eyes.. his hair looks lighter in the setting sun, the side of his face lit up all golden and warm. you bite your lip and smile, turning away with a slight flush.

“it’s green,” you tell him and he flicks his head back forward, muttering a curse under his breath.

“my bad,” he admits, refusing to drop your hand. 

it looked like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t, just takes a breath and lets it out before turning back to the road.

when the car pulls into the garage you reach to the back to grab your overnight bag. matt’s already out of the car, coming over to your side to open your door, “c’mon,” he says in that silly high pitched voice, just to hear you giggle.

you make your way to his bedroom, knowing the ins and outs of the triplet’s house like the back of your hand. matt follows behind you, his footsteps echoing amongst the hardwood floors. 

“i can’t wait to lay down,” you sigh, the effects of the sun's heat catching up with you now that you’re in the cool, air conditioned house.

“yeah, i’m feelin’ pretty tired too,” matt agrees, his voice heavy and suddenly cloaked by fatigue.

you’d been out all day, shopping on melrose, walking by the beach. dinner and ice cream and the beating sun soaked up all your energy. nothing sounded better than getting cozy in matt’s bed and watching a movie, maybe catching a bit of a nap before deciding to head home. you knew he’d insist on driving you, and that always hurt more than you’d like to admit.

the two of you weren’t dating, he wasn’t your boyfriend and you told yourself you didn’t mind. it wasn’t a very convincing lie though, most everyone around you could tell. it’s not that you hadn’t talked about it, you had, there were just things getting in the way.

matt was worried about how his fans would react, and he absolutely did not want it to be at your expense. you hated the thought of pushing him, like forcing him or asking too much, being too needy would only drive him away. all your friends had told you to stop, that you were only going to get yourself hurt, but you’d honestly rather have half of him and a broken heart than none of him at all. 

you never doubted that he cares about you, in fact you know he does. he always picks you up from classes, knows your order at all your favourite fast food places and keeps an extra toothbrush in the bathroom for you. it’s things like that that make the title of causal or just seeing each other sting a little bit more.

here though, all settled in matt’s bed, you try not to think about it too hard. there’s some liam neeson movie he insisted on showing you playing on the tv, and you’re happy to be watching it, but mostly happy to be watching it with him. his chest rises and falls under your head with each breath and it’s making you more tired than before.

“i’m so warm,” you say through a yawn, all comfy now in your sweats and matt’s crewneck, although the comfort comes mostly from his arms wrapped around your middle. 

“you can throw on a pair of boxers if you want, top drawer,” matt offers, his arms unmoving, keeping you mildly trapped against him.

“let me goooo,” you groan dramatically, making a big show of sliding out from under his arms and grinning to yourself when he laughs.

“come back,” he pouts, reaching for a stuffed animal to take your place while you cross the room to his dresser.

“just give me a sec,” you giggle, rummaging around in the drawer and pulling out a pair of plaid boxers. there’s something stuck to it, all tangled up in the mess of his clothes, “what the– is this my bra? i’ve been looking for this for like a month.” 

matt lifts his head just enough to see what you’re holding up, huffing when he hits the pillow again, “i dunno, sweetheart, you probably left it, you’ve got a lot of stuff here,” he sounds tired, and the words are pressed against his pillow now that he’s rolled onto his stomach. 

you’ve got lots of stuff here.

it digs into you, how casually he says it, an almost physical ache you feel beyond your ribs, right where your heart is. 

quickly you try to shake it off, shucking off your sweatpants and sliding the boxers up your legs so you can hurry back into bed before allowing yourself to think about what he said too much. 

“c’mere,” there’s a little smile on his face when he says it, arm outstretched for you to crawl under. immediately matt tucks you up against his body impossibly close, his nose stuffed into your hair and breathing you in. it feels nice, right, and you let yourself bask in it, like maybe the state of your relationship (or lack thereof) won’t be in limbo forever. he has to feel it too, the pull.

“i think you should just stay tonight,” he says quietly against your temple, leaving a little kiss there.

“are you sure?”

he nods, “it’s late, ‘m not gonna kick you out,” you can see his smile in the dark, his features lit up delicately by the dim light of the movie, “and i kinda wanna cuddle,” he admits sheepishly, trying to hide his blush when you turn to him.

“awe, matty,” you tease, scooching closer to him, hardly an inch away.

“hey,” he says all high pitched, making you laugh again.

“that voice always gets me,” you tell him, snuggling up under his chin.

“that’s why i do it,” he tells you.

it doesn’t take long for you to slip into an easy sleep with matt holding you, the mindless noise coming from the tv luring you deeper into unconsciousness. he’s being extra gentle, finger tips dragging along your waist under your top. you hardly feel him slide out of bed or tuck you in all snug under the covers.

nick’s in the kitchen when matt emerges from his bedroom for some water,  hunting for something in the pantry. matt rubs his eyes.

“hello?” chris leans forward on the couch, his voice startling matt.

“jesus, what– you’re just both out here at fucking two in the morning?” he grumbles, eyes squinted against the harsh lights.

“we ordered food,” chris stands up, walking into the kitchen.

nick nods, closing the cupboard, glass in hand, “we thought you were at y/n’s or something, i didn’t hear you come in,”

matt grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and a takes a sip before answering, “nah she’s here, she’s asleep,” he says, nodding towards his bedroom.

nick groans, “god, are you guys dating yet,” he asks, head rolling back against his shoulders, exsapertated.

matt’s eyes widen at the sudden outburst of noise, looking back at his door to make sure nick didn’t wake you, “dude, be quiet,” he urges.

you’d felt matt’s absence after a few minutes, the warmth of his body leaving the bed when he did. slowly you sit up, pressing the heel of your palm into your eye and swinging your feet to the floor quietly. you stand behind matt’s closed bedroom door, prepared to silently creep out and go to the bathroom when you catch his voice. 

“and no,we’re just casual,” he continues to answer nick’s question, who glances over and chris. “what— don’t look at him like that,” this earns him another sideye, “i mean it, it’s not serious.”

“matthew” nick starts, “isn’t she asleep in your bed right now?” nick points an accusatory finger in his brother’s direction, emphasizing his words.

it’s matt’s turn to look at chris, who holds his hands up in surrender, “don’t look at me, i’m with nick,” he says, looking away from his brother from where he remains on the couch.

“well she’s not my girlfriend, if that’s where this is going,” matt turns back to the fridge, not really looking for anything, just trying to hide from his brother’s judgmental, but justified, stares. 

it hurts to hear, even if you know it’s the truth.

“and why not, idiot,” nick asks, getting fed up. he can clearly tell how his brother feels and is getting frustrated, mad even, with the idea of him toying with your feelings. 

“i just—i just can’t do it.” that hurts more, a sharp pain you feel in your chest. you swallow dryly, and that hurts too. 

you decide you don’t have to go to the bathroom that badly anymore, and slowly sink back into matt’s bed. you know you and matt aren’t together, that he’s not your boyfriend, but a part of you has always clung to the idea that one day he would be, that he’d finally make the move. you thought he liked you enough to at least try.

tugging the duvet up to your chin you roll over onto your side to face the wall. matt comes back into the bedroom and you can hear nick and chris talking quietly for a second before the door closes again. you’re not too sure, but you think one of them mumbles your name amidst the conversation. matt slides back under the covers with you, coming as close as he can to wrap his arms around you.

it makes your head spin, his words rattling around in your mind, saying he “can’t do it,” but here is, body tucked perfectly against yours, holding you so tight you’d think he never wanted to let go.

—

matt seems notice that you’re a bit quieter than usual the next morning, but you try to hide it under the excuse of not feeling well. he offers to drop you off and you take him up on it, knowing that marinating in the misery you feel won’t solve anything but seems to be the easiest thing to do at the moment.

“text me if you need anything, okay?” his tone is concerned and you can feel him looking at you even though you’re trying to avoid eye contact. you know you’d cave, catching a glimpse of the light blue with all that worry clouding it.

“yeah, i will,” you sigh, reaching into the back seat to grab your bag. 

matt catches you, palm placed delicately along your jaw so you’ll look at him, “hey,” he says all soft, “c’mere,” he guides you forward slightly and you know what’s coming, you know it’s gonna hurt but you do it anyway.

he kisses you gently and you fall into it with ease, reaching out to touch his arm. when he strokes his thumb along your cheekbone you pull away, licking your lips.

“i’ve gotta go,” you whisper, afraid the full volume of your voice would shatter something, you’re not too sure what.

“yeah, okay,” he nods, pulling his hand away from your face and trying to smile as you open your door, watching you walk into your building.

he stays there in the parked car for a minute, wondering what’s wrong, pretending he doesn’t know that this whole situation hurts you just as much as it hurts him. he’s staring up at your apartment window, tapping the steering wheel and taking a long, deep breath.

“fuck,” he mutters to himself, pushing his hair back and putting the car in reverse.

—

you and matt don’t talk excessively for the next few days, only a few texts exchanged here and there and one phone call after he knew you’d just written a midterm. 

he called to ask how it went and tell you he was proud of you, and also to invite you out to dinner with his parents on the upcoming weekend. they were flying out to l.a. for a few days and he wanted you to meet them. it felt cruel.

“i dunno matt, i’ve got an assignment due sunday at midnight, i might not be able to make it,” of course you wanted to go, but the tug of self preservation was starting to become more equal to the pull you felt towards him. you were starting to lose sight of what was more important, him or yourself.

for so long it had been him.

“please, sweetheart, i feel like i haven’t seen you in forever,”  matt slumps into his desk chair, spinning back forth.

you cave and somehow your vision clears. it was him again.

“yeah, yeah, okay, i wanna see you too,”

matt smiles on the other end of the phone, “yay,” he says sweetly, making his joy obvious, “i can help you with your assignment if you want, too,” he offers, and you know he’s just trying to get a smile out of you.

you laugh without meaning to, “matt, you know nothing about the course,” 

“i’ll figure it out, anything i can do to make sure i see you,”

you bite your lip, trying to keep a smile at bay, “careful, you’re gonna make me think you like me or something,”

“aw, well i can’t have that now can i?” he teases, and it cuts deeper than he realizes it does.

“no,” you mutter, trying to hold onto the smile on your face even though matt can’t see you, “um, i should probably get going, if i wanna finish my assignment on time,”

“oh, yeah, okay. i could come by a little later with some food?” he poses it as a question, sensing your hesitancy.

“you don’t have to do that,”

“i know, but i want to,” he says it so easily, like there’s no reason in the world he wouldn’t come to your house after eleven pm just to sit on your bedroom floor while you do school work.

“canes?” you finally offer.

“be there in half an hour.” you hear the car keys jingle through the phone, the front door latching shut.

—

the triplet’s parents land on friday afternoon. you haven’t seen matt since wednesday night when he called and brought take out to your place, and you’re starting to feel a little nervous at the thought of seeing his parents.

you’ve spoken to them over facetime once or twice when matt had called them, but this is real, this is serious.

you think you’ve completely driven yourself insane with that, thinking of it as serious. for days there’s been a battle in your head about whether or not this means matt wants to make your relationship offical. it’s become such a problem that you’ve forbidden yourself from thinking about it.

taking a deep breath you refocus on yourself in the mirror, fixing your hair and trying to decide on a lip product for the night when your roomate wanders into your bedroom.

“how are you doing?” she asks, leaning against the door frame. you don’t answer, just look up at her with what must be a miserable expression, because she chuckles sadly at you, “that bad, huh?”

you groan and clench your fists, “i’m just confused!” you exclaim.

“i know, but i think tonight should clear some things up,” she tells you hopefully, and you really want to believe her.

“i hope so,” you sigh, “i just really like him,” you whine, defeated.

your phone dings then, a message from matt of course.

matt sturn

be there in twenty

ive got the kids

you laugh sadly at the text.

“‘s that him?” your roommate asks.

“yeah, him and his brothers are on the way, they’ll be here soon.”

“you’ll do great, don’t sweat it,” she tries to reassure you, giving you an over enthusiastic thumbs up before shutting your door again.

matt, nick and chris have been in the car for about five minutes and already matt’s debating driving into oncoming traffic. him and his brothers have had the same fight at least three times since you stayed over last week, and if he’s honest, he’s getting really sick of it.

“enough of this ‘i can’t do that’ bullshit, matt, she’s coming to dinner with our parents,” nick says pointedly, running out of air at the end of his setence, “you don’t just bring your hook up to that shit, so fucking stop talking to her if it’s that much of an issue,” he continues, leaning froward against matt’s seat, staring holes into the side of his brothers face.

matt is clearly aggravated, gripping the wheel a little too hard, “shut the fuck up, nick— she’s not just a hook up,” 

nick’s eyes get wider at this and he leans over matt’s seat, voice exponentially louder when he says, “you just proved my fucking point!!”

“you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” matt mumbles in a deft tone, staring harshly out onto the road.

chris leans over from the passenger seat, gesturing in matt’s direction, “and you do? you never shut the fuck up about her, and she’s always at the house but you’re too much of a pussy to do anything,” he yells over matt all in one breath, words coming out too fast. 

matt’s mouth is set in a firm line and he’s shaking his head, “you guys don’t get it!” he finally yells back, signaling and switching lanes before he can finish his thought, “i can’t do that to her,” the car’s stopped at a red light now, allowing him to look nick in the eye from the rearview mirror. both him and chris shut up for a second.

“i can’t do that to her,” matt emphasizes again, making his point with his hands, bracketing the last two words, “the internet would chew her up and spit her out. you think i don’t want to make her my girlfriend? do you think i like doing this to her? every fucking day i think about cutting it off because i don’t wanna hurt her, but i’m too fucking selfish to do it.”

“it’s green,” chris mumbles.

“shut the fuck up,” matt says through his teeth as he turns back to face the road, driving through the light.

“so what are you gonna do?” nick asks, softer now, arm hung over the back of matt’s seat.

matt looks up at him in the rearview again, taking a deep, anxiety ridden breath, “i don’t know.”

the three boys are silent for the remainder of the drive to your apartment. matt puts the car in park and mumbles something about being right back before getting out and heading up to your floor, slamming the car door a little bit too hard.

“jesus christ,” chris breathes, feeling the tension finally break.

there’s a knock at the front door, and you take a deep breath before opening it. matt stands with his hair a little bit messy and his cheeks a little bit red, but he softens when he sees you.

“hey,” you say, “let me just grab my bag,”

“wait, y/n,”

“yeah?” you turn back around to look at him. he’s standing in the middle of your kitchen, looking a little bit deflated.

“can i have a hug?”

your heart nearly shatters. is he feeling it too?

“wha– of course baby, of course,” you cross the kitchen over to him and he already has his arms open. immediately he locks his arms around your waist, resting his head against yours. you gently rub his back and rest your cheek on his shoulder.

“is everything okay?” you wonder after a second, feeling him breathe heavily against you.

matt squeezes you a little tighter and kisses your hair, “yeah,” he sighs, “nick and chris are just annoying,”

“you love them though,” you remind him.

he pulls away but keeps you close, hands on your hips now, “sometimes i think about reevaluating that,” 

you laugh at him, fixing his messy hair, “no you don’t,”

its his turn to smile, “you’re right,” he leans in for a quick kiss which you grant him, letting it dampen your nerves and reservations on the evening.

“i know, now c’mon, we’ve gotta go,” you slide your hand down into his.

“you don’t have to be nervous, by the way,” matt says to you in the elevator, still holding your hand. 

you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding and he squeezes your hand, letting you know he’s there for you, “it just feels serious,” you finally admit what you’ve been thinking for the last few days. you’re a little bit afraid to look over at him, so you keep your gaze towards the closed elevator doors.

matt gives your hand a quick squeeze and glances at the side of your face, you can feel his eyes on you, “it’s not serious, don’t worry,” it’s a little strained when he says it, as if he means something else but you can’t quite decipher it. it’s too much to think about now and yet it’s all you’ve been thinking about for days, how ‘unserious’ it all is to him.

when you do get to dinner, marylou and jimmy are already at the restaurant. marylou is being so sweet to you, asking about classes and how you met the boys, what you like do to in your spare time and things about matt that you tease him over. you feel like a girlfriend, you feel like his girlfriend and you don't think you can take much more of it. she tells you how much he talks about you when he’s home, that even justin has started making fun of him for it.

when you look over at matt he’s blushing but staring directly into his plate, avoiding you.

the smile you plastered onto your face fades and you dig your nails into your plam under the table.

“excuse me, i’m gonna run to the bathroom,” you say to no one in particular, catching nick’s eyes. he seems to notice your pleading gaze, and sends you a text after you’ve left the table

nick stromboli 

you okay?

you lock yourself in the single bathroom and stand staring at your phone screen.

you

this is brutal

your mom is being sooo sweet but matt won’t even look at me

i feel like he's embarrassed

nick stromboli

he's actually the biggest idiot that ever lived

chris is lowk giving him a death stare rn

nick was being serious, chris staring at matt as marylou goes on about how nice you are.

nick elbows matt in the side and he looks over, more than slightly fed up.

“i think you should go check on y/n,” he whispers, making matt perk up a bit in worry.

“why?”

“i don’t think she’s feeling good,”

“oh, i hope she’s okay,” marylou interrupts herself.

“i’ll be right back,” matt stands from the table and walks to the bathroom, knocking on the door gently, “y/n/n? it’s me sweetheart,”

a slight panic drops through you as you push away from where you were leaning against the wall, trying to catch your breath.

“c’mon let me in, nick said you weren’t feeling good,” he knows you were nervous about tonight, and he’s hoping that’s all it is, that he can fix it.

you sigh, head tossed back to your shoulders as you breathe out before letting him in, hoping you look more composed than you feel.

“hey, you okay?” he asks gently, closing the door behind him.

“yeah, uh, i think i’m gonna go,” you mumble, looking away.

“what? d–do you want like a gingerale or something?” his brows are pinched and he’s reaching out for you. you step back without thinking about it. you don’t even notice you’d done it until you see the hurt look on his face. he reaches out again, slower this time.

“y/n…”

something in you clicks, or comes crashing down when his fingers brush your wrist, “i’m not your girlfriend matt, stop worrying about me like i am,”

he's a little bit stunned at that and pulls back, saying your name again. 

“no, don’t do that, i heard what you said to the guys last week, and you keep telling me we’re causal and we can’t be anything but we’re at dinner with your fucking parents. i can’t keep prenteding to be your girlfriend, or–or that it doesn’t hurt, i just can’t do it anymore,” 

there’s tears in your eyes you don’t notice until matt whispers, “don’t cry,”

“i’m going crazy,” you tell him, voice so soft, so fragile that his heart breaks a little bit.

“no you’re not, c’mon– we can work this out,” the words are so comforting, and normally he’s the one you’d run to for comfort, but he’s hurting you.

“are we gonna make it official, matt? or are we just gonna keep sleepingover at eachother’s houses four days a week and tell all our friend we aren’t dating?” you ask, pressing your fingertips underneath your eyes, “are we gonna do this for real or are you gonna keep telling your parents about me when you’re in boston, and–and keep coming to my house after midnight with take out just because i don’t wanna be alone working on assignments,” he doesn’t say anything, just stares at you with a solemn look, so you keep going.

“i can’t take the sorry fucking look chris keeps giving me when i’m walking out of your room, it hurts, matt,”

he steps forward finally, trying to make up for more than the physical space that separates you, “no, c’mon, just–just come back to the table. i’ll stay at yours tonight and we’ll talk about this,”

you hold back a scoff at the irony of him mentioning he’ll stay over, “i need an answer now.” you tell him. he’s gone back to standing a few feet away from you, not touching you anymore.

“an answer for what?”

“can you commit to this now? to me?” you feel like you’re pleading with him and you hate how desperate it is.

“we aren’t having this conversation in the bathroom right now, can we please just talk about it later?” matt asks.

you shake your head, “matt, we’ve been doing this for four months, i don’t wanna wait any longer, i’m not a toy.”

he stares at you, licking his lips. you stare back, suffocating in his silence. it’s all the answer you need.

“i’m gonna go,” you mutter, “tell your parents it was really nice to meet them, and that i’m sorry for leaving,” you add, looking away when you walk passed him to open the door.

you leave the restaurant and call an uber, hardly sparing a glance in the direction of his family’s table on your way out.

“is y/n okay?” jimmy asks when matt comes back alone. 

matt shoves a hand into his hair to push it back, not meeting anybody’s eyes, “she went home, she wasn’t feeling good”

“and you didn’t offer to take her?” marylou scolds, sure she raised her son better than that.

“she didn’t want me to,” matt admits, defeated.

nick and chris share a look, knowing that isn’t the whole truth, or really the truth at all. 

—

a few days later, after their parents had gone back to boston, matt’s shuffling into nick’s bedroom, where him and chris are laying on the bed on their phones. 

matt looks a mess, hair wild and eyes sunken in. he’s been in his bedroom all day, blinds drawn and door latched shut

nick thinks he’s wearing a hoodie of yours, the faded smell of your perfume lingering when his brother walks in. 

“…you okay?” nick asks, glancing up from his phone. 

matt shakes his head and sits on the edge of the bed, rubbing his eyes with his fists, “i feel like fucking shit,” he admits, still looking down, “i hate that i hurt her,” he tells the two, as if his brothers weren’t already acutely aware, “i was trying so hard to keep from hurting her and i fucking did it anyway,” they wait for matt to finish, knowing he has a little more to say, “i was so fucking scared of making things offical that i lost her all together, she’s never gonna talk to me again,”

nick sighs and looks over at chris, the two of them sharing a sympathetic look before he moves forward and puts his arm around matt, who slumps against his shoulder, “that's not true,” nick says, “she probably should never talk to you again, but she’s a good person, and she’s our friend,”

“yeah, and she cares about you a lot, matt.” chris adds, sitting on the matt’s other side.

matt groans and covers his face, “i know, and that’s what sucks,” he wipes his palms over his face, “god, why was i so fucking stupid?”

“because you really like her,” chris offers, “and you’re gonna try and make it up to her…right?”

matt sits back up, staring at the wall, “i dunno, i want to, i don’t…” he takes a deep breath, willing the pit in his stomach to go away, “i’m more afraid of losing her all together than i was of any of that other shit, but i don’t know how to fix…this,” he says, dejected.

nick perks up, because he’s never seen matt half as lively as he is when he’s with you, or talking about you. he’s pretty sure matt was on his way to falling in love with you (if he hasn’t already) and refuses to let him lose hope,“i have an idea,” he says.

matt looks at his brother, desperate. the circles under his eyes a shade too dark, his cheeks sunken in, his lips chapped. nick continues.

“we’ll need waffles.”

—

it’s been over a week and a half since you walked out of the restaurant, and since you’d spoken to matt. nick’s been messaging you, asking if you’re okay and telling you he’s there for you. there’s been a bit of him telling you how stupid matt is, which you’d agreed with solemnly.

nick’s messaging you now. you’re posted up at your kitchen table trying to review for one of your exams, but more so warding off another wave of tears, pressing your fingertips into your eyes.

you pick up your phone to answer the message nick had sent, something about a sleepover at your place this weekend and a promise of a hannah montana binge, but there’s a knock at your door. you’re confused at first, wondering who’s at your door this late.

“did you order food?” you ask your roommate as you get up, looking in through the crack of her barely opened door. her headphones are on and she's hunched over a textbook with a highlighter, oblivious to any visitors.

your heartbeat speeds up a little bit as you begin to think about who’s on the other side. with a huff you look through the peephole, met with a slightly distorted image of matt anxiously shifting his weight from foot to foot.

he keeps looking down the hallway and biting the inside of his cheek. he’s holding something. a paper bag in one hand and a bouquet of delicately wrapped flowers in the other.

you turn the lock, hand shaking a little bit as the door swings open. he whips his head from where he was looking down the hall to the now open door, your eyes locking immediately.

“matt,” you whisper, not even meaning to say it.

he stares at you for a second, seemingly forgetting any words he would have said for a second before holding up the bag.

“i brought waffles.”

—

“please let me in,” he says breathlessly, as if he was holding his breath waiting for you to open the door. “i know i probably don’t deserve a chance, and you probably don’t wanna hear me out, but…but please,” he licks his lips, grip tightening on the stems of the flowers, (you didn’t think he was listening when you told him your favourites all those months ago) “i miss you,” it’s quiet, the way he says it. he’s pleading with you.

there’s an ache in your chest, you’re trying not to mistake his tenderness for pity. and yet you still find yourself letting him in.

“okay,” it takes so little convincing. you missed him too.

there’s little talking at first, mostly just you and matt grabbing plates down and dishing yourselves out. he went to your favourite diner, because of course he did. the waffles are still warm and are making your kitchen smells like butter and sausage. you move your books and laptop out of the way to make room for the two of you to sit, elbows touching when you start to eat.

you’re half way through your first waffle when matt speaks up. you could feel him staring, his body half turned towards you in his chair. some of your hair falls into your face and his finger twitches before you tuck it away. all he wants to do it touch you. hold you, kiss you, anything. he’s such a jerk. 

“i’m sorry,” 

you freeze for a second, still facing away from him. after you finish chewing you set your fork down and turn slowly, finally looking him in the eyes. the blue has grown a shade too dark, melancholic. 

“for what?” you ask stupidly, just needing to know how he’s felt about it all.

“fuck, everything?” he says, forcefully pushing his hair away from his eyes. 

you shake your head and turn back to your plate.

“y/n,” he sighs, “c’mon look at me,”

you do, but it hurts.

“i’m sorry for what happened at the restaurant, and i’m sorry things got so out of hand and–and that…this went on for so long,” he gestures between the two of you, fixing his wild hair again.

“this?” you ask, voice breaking, thinking the worst, that he regrets it all, that it’s over. it’s really over.

“this stupid fucking dance we’ve been doing for four months, it’s crazy. it was always crazy.”

you huff, probably a little bit too dramatically as you shift to face him fully, “matt, what are you saying?”

“i’m saying that i like you! and it was so stupid to fucking…dilute that becuase i was scared or some shit,” the latter end of his sentence loses volume, he’s getting shy again.

“but–but you just wanted to be casual–” you start, looking down at your crossed legs.

“no, i never wanted to be fucking casual, i was just…. fuck i was just scared.” he says around a mouthful of waffle. the air smells like syrup. 

“i wanna be with you all the time, i like you so much– i just– at first i didn’t want things to be weird between us, which is why i thought a relationship was the wrong idea, but then we started…doing relationship things and it only got better.” he starts, messing with his hair and pushing his food around his plate, “after i stopped being so afraid of that i just, i got scared of another thing,” he finally looks up at you, eyes a little sad, a little heavy.

you can tell that he knows how he’s made you feel, and despite that you hate that he’s sad. you never want him to be sad.

matt continues, “i’d hate for you to get hurt because of my fans, and i knew it was gonna be hard to keep things private, to keep things…ours. i thought that was something i didn't wanna do or i wasn't ready for but…” he sighs, cutting himself off and taking in another big breath. you want to reach out and rub his back, knowing he’s anxious and just trying to calm himself down. 

“you being mad at me i can deal with,” he starts again, “you being mad, or–or upset because of me, is harder to handle, but fuck, not having you at all? that's worse than anything else we’d have to face,” he looks up, dead into your eyes to make sure you understand the weight of what he’s about to say, “together.”

“matt…” you whisper. you’ve forgotten about the food. it’s getting cold but it doesn’t matter.

he shakes his head before meeting your eyes again, “i’d rather go through all that bullshit with you than go through nothing without you,” he sounds so sincere that you think your heart skips a beat.

“what are you—”

“i wanna do this. for real.” he nods once, watching you closely.

“do you mean that?” he hates how doubtful you sound and he hates that he’s the one to have put all that doubt there. he thinks you might cry.

“y–yeah of course i mean it. i should have said it a long time ago, and if it makes you feel any better nick’s been giving me shit for like, two months, and i think chris wanted to beat me up last week.” he offers you half a smile, hoping you’ll give one back.

instead you breathe out laugh. he basks in it.

“i want you to be my girlfriend,” you’re looking down again and your hair falls from it’s place behind your ear. he doesn’t stop himself this time, nimble, ring adorned finger pushing it back, “i wanna be your boyfriend,”

you look up at him, studying his face for a second before you speak. he looks tired and a little worn, like he’s been thinking too much and too hard and worrying even more.

“yeah?” you finally say.

matt smiles at you. he has such a pretty smile.

“yeah.” he nods, smiling now.

“so we’re not just casual?”

matt scoffs out a laugh and stands. you stand too and he wraps his arms around you, tucking his chin atop your head when your arms go over his shoulders. he kisses your hair and breathes you in, the lingering scent of your shampoo and your perfume and you. it’s all over his clothes and his sheets, but nothing beats having you in his arms again. 

“we were never just causal,” he assures you, as if you didn’t know.

tags ! @st4rswrld @urfavvev3lyn @mattsturnioloarchive @averysbestyears @its-jennarose @strnilolo @cherrypostsposts

also tagging some of my faves (writers & other creators!!) 🥹 @pettydollie @wcters @grimholic @floristmatt (if you don’t wanna be tagged lmk!!)

[lovelytsunoda]

its going to be a cold winter | lando norris

summary: it’s landos first christmas with his girlfriends family, and as long as he doesn’t let his ugly christmas sweater catch fire, he should be fine. right?

pairing: lando norris x female reader

warnings: family christmas content, lando and y/n both have some major moments of self doubt, but it's mostly just holiday fluff. some suggestive content, but barely any. i'm sorry its so short lmao i kind of lost steam towards the end, but i started out super strong!! it's a fic about nothing lmao enjoy it.

frank sinatra played softly in the background of the country house as y/n puttered around, straightening the christmas pillows and lighting the pine candles throughout the house. her dad got a fire burning in the living room, and the kitchen smelled like warm apple pie. snow was falling gently outside, blanketing the roof of her old audi.

lando would be here any minute, and it was important that everything be just perfect.

it was their first christmas together, and y/n was anxious as all hell about having lando visit the house where she grew up. she knew that the country house was different from the house where lando grew up, and the lifestyle he was accustomed to now.

of course, she didn't know that lando was just as nervous as she was, anxiously drumming his fingers against the steering wheel as he pulled off the highway. what would her parents think of him? would they find him pretentious? too much of a player?

it was obvious as he steered his top-of-the-line mercedes into the gravel driveway, parking next to his lover's aging audi sedan that the environment where she grew up was so different from his. a decrepit volkswagen beetle sat next to the garage, no doubt a project for her dad to tinker with.

snowflakes dusted his hair as he attempted to maneuver the laundry basket full of wrapped presents out of his narrow trunk. he knocked on the door, hiding his shaking hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. he could hear music coming from inside, see the shadows of a figure rushing to open the front door.

"lando! you made it." y/n beamed, opening the front door, a wide smile on her face. she threw her arms around him, kissing him softly before brushing the snow off of his jacket. "i'm glad you're here. everybody is so excited to meet you."

lando stepped inside, cheeks flushed pink from the cold. as his hands began to thaw, family members came rushing at him from all sides, gushing about how they were glad he'd found the place all right, and how it was so lovely to meet him. y/n shooed them all out of the main hallway, but not before her mother managed to shove a christmas sweater into his arms, insisting that he wear it.

"let's try that again." y/n grumbled, clearly biting back a curse word as she wrapped her arms around lando's midsection, resting her chest just over from his heart. "thank you for coming. and mom's sweaters are horrific, please don't feel like you have to wear it."

lando chuckled, unfolding the sweater, which prominently featured a reindeer with a blinking nose, activated by a button hidden in the right sleeve. "why wouldn't i wear it? this thing is hysterical."

"here, let me help." she smiled, helping him out of the jacket. "and you didn't need to bring gifts either. nobody would have been mad if you didn't."

"baby, i think you're worrying too much." lando laughed, pulling the sweater on over his black t-shirt. "everything is going to be fine."

"says the man who worried the entire drive here and called me over his bluetooth three times before he got of the m60." she joked, poking him over the heart. "this is new for both of us."

the pair wandered through the house, converging in the living room with the rest of the family. a christmas tree stood against an exposed brick wall, and two young men in christmas sweaters just as atrocious as the one lando was wearing were sat by the fire with their arms around their partners. a four year old girl was running around the room with a jingle bell paddle in her hand, shaking it up and down. from the expressions on the faces of the other guests, she had been doing that for a while.

"lando, this is my cousin, james, and his wife alexandra. and this is my brother will and his girlfriend clara. the little munchkin in the red dress is eliza, james and alex's daughter."

"nice to meet you!" will said, getting up from the floor. "y/n has told us so much about you!"

"only good things, i hope." lando joked, shaking will's hand. she could see the nervous crinkle at the corner of his eyes, hear what was slightly off in his voice. she reached out to lay a ahnd on his back, fingers splayed, hoping it was reassuring. she felt him relax under her touch, and her heart burned with love for the mclaren driver.

eliza ran over towards him, waving a set of antlers in her hand. "these are for you." she giggled, standing on her tiptoes and reaching for lando's head, despite only coming up to his torso.

beaming, lando knelt down and allowed eliza to put the antlers on his head. he sat next to y/n on the couch, curled up with her as they listened to alexandra talk about how she met james.

"you don't need to wear the antlers if you don't want to. lize will lose interest in like, ten minutes."

lando made a face. "of course i want to. i want your family ot love me, and clearly its pretty easy to win eliza's affections."

she laughed, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "i'm going to go and help mom and aunt deb with the honey potatoes. you'll be okay here by yourself?"

"of course he will!" will shouted. "we'll take good care of mr. mclaren for you!"

in the kitchen, y/n found her mom and her aunt puttering about, adding honey to the roast potatoes and pulling the apple pie out of the oven. it was wrapped in tinfoil, with brown sugar and apple goo oozing out of the graham cracker crust. she tied her hair back into a tight knot, reaching over her head to take a bone china mug out of the kitchen cabinet.

"i really like him." her mom said, a knowing smile on her face as she hugged her daughter. "you did good, sweetie."

"he's really good with eliza." deb noted. "so, are there any wedding bells nearby in your futures?"

"aunt deb!" y/n whined. "we haven't even been together a year yet."

"look at alex and james. they were only together for six months."

because they wanted to fuck and the church said they couldn't do that unless they were married, she thought cynically.

"i really do like him. he was so scared to come here today. i think he thought you'd find him pretentious."

"we could never." her mom laughed, pulling her in for a hug. "go spend some time with lover boy. your father and your uncle are coming in from the barbecue with the turkey in a few minutes."

"thanks mom." she kissed her mom's cheek before she grabbed her mug of hot chocolate and rejoined the other young folk in the living room.

lando stood next to the tree, laughing gleefully as eliza ran circles around him, wrapping him in tinsel. alex was laughing to herself, filming the encounter on her iphone. y/n stood watching in the doorway. lando looked up and met her eyes, winking at her dramatically before attempting to blow her a kiss.

later that night, after barbecued turkey and honey potatoes, with a dessert of warm apple pie and vanilla ice cream, lanod joined his lover on the couch with two fresh mugs of hot chocolate. she curled into his arm, pressing a soft kiss to his neck. the fire was crackling, and everybody was gathered around the tree for the gift exchange.

"i love you, lando norris."

"and i love you, y/n y/l/n." he replied softly, a peice of silver tinsel falling out of his hair.

"and i can't wait to get you out of this ugly christmas sweater." she whispered, voice husky. my old room is up in the loft above the garage, and it's pretty soundproof."

"i like the way you think, angel girl."

[finelinefae]

my darling

synopsis: a love triangle

word count: 10.8k

contains: angst angst angst, love triangle, mfm, best friends to lovers, boarding school, violence, unrequited love,

a/n: i wrote this for wattpad during the My Policeman era. I wanted to post it here after re-reading it. I remember this being one of the first pieces of fanfic i felt super proud of !! warning it is pretty sad

. . .

Then — 1996

Dear Diary,

Today we moved into our new home in Halton. It’s small, quaint, and quiet—very quiet. The kind of place where everyone seems set in their routines, the same patterns repeating every day. I already miss London. Mum says this will be good for us, though. Good to get away from the drama. Good to get away from Dad.

The house isn’t as big as our old one. I have to share a room with Delilah now, but it’s fine—I’ll be off to boarding school by the end of the summer. Mum says I’ll enjoy it since she went to the same school at my age, but I think she’s just trying to make me feel better. Who actually enjoys living at school?

It’s a three-hour drive from Halton, which feels like a world away. I’m nervous, excited, sad, and happy all at once. The feelings are so overwhelming they all blur together into something I can only describe as... heavy. Like my life is a snow globe someone’s just shaken up, glitter falling everywhere. It looks magical at first, but the reality is you’re stuck cleaning it up for weeks, finding it in the oddest places long after.

I miss my dog. I never got to say goodbye.

Dad cried when we left. I’ve never seen him cry before. He told me it wasn’t goodbye, just a "see you later." Mum always says Dad’s a good liar, but I don’t think he was lying this time. Maybe it was the tears—they don’t suit him.

-

Dear Diary,

Today I moved into my dorm at Southend Park School.

Mum was annoyed we had to wake up before seven to pack the car and drive me down, even though this was all her idea. She’s probably just tired—or maybe something else. I have a suspicion she’s met someone. I’m not sure how she moved on from Dad so quickly. Did she ever really love him?

My dorm has six girls, including me. I’ve mostly been talking to Ellis, who’s in the room next door. She’s fourteen, older than the rest of us, but only because her birthday is the 1st of September. Today’s the third, so her advantage is technical, but she likes to remind us.

Being alone here scares me, but it’s nothing new. Delilah always had loads of friends, and Dad was always working. Mum was usually out socializing, too.

Mum cried as we finished unpacking, promising she’d pick me up for half-term or that I could come home anytime. But I don’t want to go home. I hate it there.

Tomorrow is a full day of inductions, and I’m worried about making friends. Southend Park is a mixed school, and boys make me nervous. I’d rather have no friends at all than feel like I have to pretend to be someone I’m not.

I still feel like I’m picking up glitter from months ago. I wonder when it will finally stop.

-

Dear Diary,

I made two friends. You’ll never guess—they’re boys!

Their names are Harry and Dylan. They’re both thirteen, like me, but they feel older somehow. They even live in the same dorm and invited me over this weekend.

We met during lunch in the courtyard. I was sitting alone when Dylan walked up first, chatting easily and cracking jokes. Harry followed behind, much quieter. Dylan has blond hair and a small scar on his eyebrow from climbing trees back in Morston. Harry’s hair is thick and curly—I wanted to touch it but stopped myself because, well, that would’ve been weird.

Harry didn’t say much at first, though I noticed him glancing at me. When I met his gaze, he blushed and looked down at his extra-polished school shoes.

We didn’t talk much again until the end of the day, on the way back to the dorms. That’s when we compared timetables and realized we share four classes, including English Literature. It’s just Harry and me in that one, though.

I never thought I’d be friends with boys, but I like it. It feels different from being friends with girls—less pressure to act outgoing or girly. I hope we stay friends. I like them both a lot.

. . .

Then — 2000

“Hey, Harry,” Y/N called, running across the field toward the headmaster’s office where Harry stood, focused on his Nokia flip phone.

Harry glanced up, his expression softening when he saw her. He tucked the phone into his pocket and waved her over. Despite the end-of-day chaos, both were still dressed in their school uniforms. “Hey, baby.” He greeted her with a quick kiss, pulling her closer and wrapping an arm around her waist. He loved how perfectly she fit against him, as though they were made for each other.

“What’s going on? Aren’t we meeting Dylan to go to Ellis’ dorm?” Y/N asked, frowning slightly as she looked around for their other best friend.

Harry smirked, shaking his head. “We are, but Dylan got caught passing notes to Casey Becker in geometry. He’s stuck with thirty minutes in the headmaster’s office to make amends.”

Y/N chuckled, her laugh warm and familiar. “Again? He’s going to get himself expelled if he’s not careful.” She slid her hands under Harry’s blazer, warming them against his torso.

Harry brushed a strand of hair from her face, letting his thumb linger on her cheekbone. “How was your day?” he murmured, his lips brushing hers as he spoke.

“It was fine,” Y/N replied. “I scored three points in netball, and Tessa Riley gave me daggers in the changing room.” She giggled, leaning into him.

Harry smiled, pride gleaming in his eyes. “That’s m’girl.” He bent down and kissed her forehead gently.

“Oh, please, don’t make me sick,” a familiar voice drawled, breaking the moment.

“Hi, Dylan.” Y/N turned to see him strolling down the stone steps, his blazer slung over his shoulder and a cigarette dangling between his fingers. She leaned back against Harry, crossing her arms.

“Hello, my darling Y/N,” Dylan teased, his tone playful as he lit the cigarette with practiced ease.

“Seriously, Dylan?” Harry said, narrowing his eyes. “Do you really need another detention?”

“Don’t you smoke, Styles?” Dylan shot back, grinning. “Besides, Mary would love to see me again after our chat earlier. She’s got a soft spot for me.” He smirked, wiping his thumb across the corner of his mouth.

Y/N rolled her eyes, stepping away from Harry’s warmth. She was long used to Dylan’s antics—four and a half years of friendship had left little room for surprises.

The three of them had been inseparable since their first days at Southend Park Boarding School. Despite their differences in personality, they were like a family unit, supporting one another through the highs and lows of adolescence.

Dylan, the loudest of the trio, was notorious for his sharp wit and knack for trouble. Teachers despaired over his behavior, but students were drawn to his charm—especially the girls, who fell for his rebellious streak and the ever-present cigarette.

Harry, by contrast, was the golden boy: smart, polite, and beloved by staff. He balanced his role as student ambassador with captaining the football team, a position that made him one of the most popular boys in school. Dylan teasingly called him a “teacher’s pet,” but Harry wore the label without shame.

Y/N was the quietest of the three, rarely seeking the spotlight. She volunteered in the school library every Tuesday and spent her free time with her dorm mates. Still, Harry and Dylan were fiercely protective of her, and she often marveled at how lucky she was to have them.

The trio walked out of the school gates toward the housing blocks, their shadows stretching long in the late afternoon sun. Harry carried Y/N’s backpack on one shoulder, his free hand clasping hers. Dylan trailed behind, typing on his phone with an unlit cigarette between his teeth.

“Ellis doesn’t want you bringing anything to the party this time, Dylan,” Y/N warned, glancing over her shoulder. “You know what happened last time. If you pull that again, you’re getting kicked out of school.”

“My darling Y/N,” Dylan began with exaggerated sincerity, pausing for effect, “only for you.”

Y/N rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a smile.

When they reached her dorm, Y/N kissed Harry on the cheek and took her bag from his shoulder. “I’ll see you both later?” she asked, her eyes bright.

Dylan saluted her without looking up from his phone, while Harry smiled warmly. “I love you,” he said.

“I love you too, Harry,” she replied before disappearing inside.

Harry and Dylan walked in silence toward their dorm. The tension was palpable, Dylan unusually quiet as Harry’s mind churned with unspoken thoughts.

“We’re going to have to tell her at some point,” Dylan murmured, his voice low as the setting sun bathed the path in a golden glow.

Harry’s heart tightened. “No, we don’t.”

“Harry—”

“Shut up, Dylan. Nothing happened.” Harry’s voice was sharp, cutting Dylan off before he could continue.

They stopped, staring at each other, the air between them heavy. Harry’s frustration burned in his eyes, while Dylan’s sadness hung like a weight on his shoulders.

“I love her,” Harry finally said, his voice trembling. “I’ll never love anyone else as much as I love Y/N.”

Without another word, he turned and stormed into their dormitory, leaving Dylan alone on the pavement. Dylan exhaled shakily, the ache in his chest unbearable.

. . .

Then — 1998

Dear Diary,

It’s been a month since my fifteenth birthday, and Harry finally asked me out on a date. It feels like a dream, the kind where everything is so perfect you fear waking up to find it never happened.

To be honest, I think I’m already in love with him. He’s always been so kind to me, much more than Dylan. Harry carries my bag to class when I have netball, and sometimes, during English Literature, I catch him staring at me. There’s something about the way his gaze lingers that makes me feel seen.

In art class, he taught me how to use watercolors for the first time, his thumb brushing against mine as he guided me. Little moments like that remind me how much I care for him—so much that the thought of being without him feels unbearable. Is that dramatic? Probably. But I can’t help it if it’s true.

Even when I’m talking to Ellis during lunch or before bed, my mind wanders back to Harry—his smile, his eyes, the way he laughs at my jokes even when they aren’t funny, and how he hugs me differently from everyone else.

It feels strange to be fifteen and falling so deeply. What do I know about love at this age? How much further can I fall?

I think I’m going to love him forever. I hope he loves me forever too.

-

Dear Diary,

Harry kissed me today. My first kiss—with the boy I love most in the entire world.

I knew it was going to happen. We’d just finished dinner in the dining hall when he asked if I wanted to take a walk in the gardens. Dylan wanted to come along, but Harry shook his head, saying he wanted it to be just the two of us.

I felt a twinge of guilt when I looked back and saw Dylan standing there, his expression heavy as he watched us leave. He kept staring at Harry, even as we walked past the window overlooking the gardens.

Harry brought me to the tulips because he knows they’re my favorite. He said my braid looked pretty today, and that’s when I knew—I truly, completely loved him. It was the worst braid I’ve ever done, but he still thought it was beautiful.

We sat on a swinging bench, listening to birds returning to their nests. When he said my name, it sounded magical, like it had been made for his lips alone. I turned to look at him, and that’s when he leaned in and kissed me.

It felt like a scene from a movie.

No one ever tells you what it’s like to kiss someone for the first time. The way their breath mingles with yours, the world fading away as you close your eyes and step into a place so tender it consumes you. It makes you wonder if you’ve ever been truly loved before.

We only stopped because we heard a rustling in the bushes. We looked around but didn’t find anything, so Harry walked me back to my dorm. He kissed me again outside the door, and I floated through the rest of the night, humming to myself as I got ready for bed.

But when I think back to that moment, I could swear I saw a tuft of blond hair sticking out from behind a bush.

. . .

Now — 2000

Y/N sat cross-legged in front of the mirror on Ellis’ floor, carefully applying mascara as Fiona Apple played softly in the background. Ellis sat nearby, painting her nails a deep red.

“I’m just saying,” Ellis began, waving the brush for emphasis, “you and Harry have been dating for two years, and you haven’t done the deed yet?”

Y/N flushed at the mention of sex, shifting uncomfortably. She hated talking about it, even with Harry. Maybe it was because she didn’t know much about it or because she’d never had a safe space to ask questions, but every time the topic came up—whether in conversation or during truth or dare—she wanted to run for cover.

“We’re waiting for the right time,” Y/N said evenly, her voice robotic as she repeated the well-rehearsed answer.

“The right time?” Ellis scoffed. “I’ve never seen a couple more in love—it’s nauseating.”

Y/N hesitated, her mind drifting to moments when she’d wanted to take things further with Harry. But he always stopped before it went too far. Sometimes it made her feel like she wasn’t enough—pretty enough, desirable enough—but then he’d kiss her softly and remind her how beautiful she was, stroking her cheek as if she were the most precious thing in the world.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “We’ve done... things, but not that.”

“Is Harry religious or something?” Ellis asked, narrowing her eyes.

“No, I don’t think so,” Y/N replied with a frown. “He’s never mentioned it.”

“Maybe he’s waiting until marriage,” Ellis mused.

The thought of marrying Harry made Y/N’s heart swell. She’d dreamed of it ever since their first kiss in the gardens—walking down the aisle in a white dress, Harry waiting for her at the end, tears in his eyes. Maybe they’d both cry.

“I don’t mind waiting,” Y/N said, her voice soft but certain. “I love him enough to wait as long as he needs me to.”

Ellis groaned, grabbing a bottle of vodka from her bedside table. “You can’t say stuff like that when I haven’t had a single drink.” She poured herself a shot and downed it in one go. “Okay, continue.”

Y/N laughed and turned back to her reflection, humming Queen’s Love of My Life as her thoughts drifted back to Harry.

. . .

Then — 1998

Dear Harry,

Today we went to the beach—the three of us. Me, you, and Y/N. I know in most situations it’s you, Y/N, then me, but in these letters, it will always be me and you.

We’d been planning this trip for weeks. It’s a three-hour drive to the coast from school, and Y/N had been complaining about the journey the entire time. I didn’t mind. Is it wrong of me to want to sit next to you on a bus full of people not one of them knowing who we are for three whole hours? Our knees touching for three whole hours? Sand on your feet and your hair salty from the sea, inhaling your scent and wanting your hand to touch my thigh for three whole hours?

When we got there, the morning was overcast, but by the time we hit the sand, the sun broke through the clouds. It was perfect. The light caught your skin, making it glisten, and your eyes shone with that impossible sea-glass green. I wanted to look into them forever, but you were too busy looking at Y/N.

I tried to catch your attention—touching your shoulder as I passed by, reaching for the beach bag at the same time as you, brushing my fingers against yours. But it didn’t matter. You only had eyes for her, and I only had eyes for you.

When you kissed her in the gardens, a part of me died. I had been pining for you for so long, silently hoping you’d see me, but it was always her. I felt stupid, running miles afterward, the wind howling in my ears: You fool, you idiot, how could he ever love you?

I didn’t want to feel this way, Harry. I tried to bury it, to pretend it wasn’t real, but when I met you, everything I’d hidden about myself unraveled.

The day wasn’t without its drama. Y/N, distracted, stepped into the road thinking the approaching van was the bus. You moved so fast, grabbing her and pulling her back before the van could hit her. I watched the terror flash across your face, the way you held her afterward as she cried. You kissed her forehead, comforted her, showed her the kind of love I’d only ever dreamed of.

And I hated her for it.

I feel terrible admitting this because I do love Y/N. I truly do. But most days, I hate her, and only because she has you.

When we finally got to the beach, the three of us ran toward the waves, shedding our clothes as we went, laughing like we were carefree children. For a moment, we were. We left our troubles behind in the sand.

You swung Y/N over your shoulder as you splashed into the water, and I couldn’t help but admire the way your muscles flexed. You were a work of art, Harry, something meant to be admired in a gallery. And I was nothing more than an observer, longing for what I could never have.

Later, Y/N went to get ice cream. Before she left, she asked for your order, and I already knew what you’d say—mint chocolate chip. The way she looked surprised made me feel smug for a second, but that quickly disappeared when she said it was her favorite too.

While she was gone, I felt a cramp in my shoulder. “Let me,” you murmured, and before I could answer, your fingertips ghosted over my shoulder, pressing into the tight muscle.

I couldn’t breathe, Harry. You were so close, your breath warm against my neck. For a split second, I thought if I just turned my head, I could kiss you.

I’ll never forget that moment for as long as I live. Even if you do.

. . .

Now — 2000

Dylan and Harry were in their dorm room, preparing for the party. Harry stood in front of the mirror, anxiously gelling his hair back.

“I think I’m going to do it,” Harry said suddenly, turning to face Dylan. “I’m going to go all the way with Y/N.”

Dylan froze, his heart sinking. He lit a cigarette, trying to appear nonchalant as he perched on the windowsill. “Really? Are you sure that’s a good idea?” His voice betrayed him, tinged with irritation and jealousy.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry’s eyes narrowed.

“I’m just saying, are you sure it’s the right time to sleep with her? After... what happened?”

Harry’s expression darkened. “Nothing happened. It was a mistake.”

“You keep saying that,” Dylan said, standing now, his voice rising. “Like you’re trying to gaslight me into thinking I imagined it. But I’ve imagined kissing you enough times to know what’s real and what’s not.”

Harry’s jaw tightened, his hands clenching. “I was drunk, and you took advantage of me.”

The words hit Dylan like a slap, but he forced himself to stay calm. “Don’t try that with me, Harry. It might work in your petty arguments with Y/N, but it won’t work on me. You’re the one twisting the truth to fit your narrative.”

“I don’t care what you think,” Harry snapped. “I only care about Y/N. And if you can’t handle that, maybe you need to step away—from both of us.”

“Step away?” Dylan said incredulously, his voice breaking. “You want me to walk away from the only two people who’ve ever cared about me? You want me to walk away from you?”

Harry hesitated, guilt flickering across his face. “You know how I feel about Y/N. I love her. I’m in love with her. Even if I felt something for you, it would never compare.”

“You’re lying,” Dylan whispered, his eyes glassy. “If you loved her so much, you wouldn’t have kissed me in the first place.”

“You don’t know anything!” Harry exploded, his voice shaking with fury. “Do you know what would happen if someone found out? What it would do to Y/N? To us? I felt nothing! It was a mistake!”

“Harry—”

“No,” Harry cut him off. “Whatever feelings you have, whatever intentions, you need to get over them.”

“That’s not as easy as you think—”

“You have to.” Harry’s voice was sharp, leaving no room for argument. Dylan stared at him, shattered, as Harry turned and stormed out.

He left Dylan standing there, broken, feeling like Harry had taken his very soul with him.

. . .

Then — 1999

Dear Harry,

We’ve been assigned as partners in media class, and now we have to make a music video. Naturally, you asked Y/N if she’d star in it. You told her she was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen and that she’d be perfect for it. She blushed, of course, and said yes. Then you kissed her—so long and so deeply that I had to look away.

I imagined myself in her place, wondering what it would be like to kiss you in public, to have the world see how much I adored you. If it were allowed, I don’t think I’d ever stop kissing you.

Today, we filmed the music video. You wanted it to feel like a coming-of-age story. I’d wanted something more abstract, but I agreed to your ideas, nodding eagerly at every suggestion, whether it was brilliant or terrible.

We filmed in the gardens—my least favorite place in the entire school. That’s where you kissed Y/N for the first time, and if I could erase that night from my memory, I would in a heartbeat.

The sun was shining as you whispered into Y/N’s ear while I set up the camera. I tried to block out the sound of your laughter, the sight of her hand on your shoulder.

“Are we ready?” I called, my voice louder than I intended. You straightened up immediately.

“Dylan, why don’t you be in the video with me?” Y/N smiled warmly. She had that rare ability to make everyone feel seen, like she was radiating sunshine. It was impossible not to smile back.

“My darling, you know I’m not nearly as perfect as you,” I teased, watching her blush.

I don’t even remember when I started calling her “my darling.” The first time, I remember catching the flash of jealousy in your eyes. I liked that. I liked seeing you react to me, even if it wasn’t in the way I wanted. You’re used to it now, but sometimes, when I say it, I still see a flicker of something in your gaze.

The music video took all day to shoot. Every time Y/N nailed a scene, you rewarded her with a kiss. I worked hard too, Harry. Shouldn’t I have been rewarded in some way?

When Y/N left for her library shift that evening, it was just the two of us. You wanted to capture the soft glow of the sunset, so we stayed behind to get more footage.

“My mother wants me to go into politics,” you said as we sat cross-legged on the grass, the camera between us. “But I’d love to do this—be a director. I’ve always wanted to be an artist of some kind. It’s a silly dream, but I think about it all the time.”

I could imagine it. You had a way of leading people, commanding attention without being arrogant. You cared so deeply—for the art, for the people—that it would probably destroy you someday.

“It’s not silly,” I said. “It’s never silly to dream. My God, Harry, we only live once. Might as well do everything we can to feel something in the little time we have.”

You looked at me then, really looked at me. For the first time, I thought you might be feeling a fraction of what I felt every day. “I’ve never told anyone that before. Not even Y/N knows.”

“It’ll be our secret,” I whispered. And for a moment, I could’ve sworn you glanced at my lips.

Then, just as quickly, you diverted the topic. Grabbing the camera, you aimed it at me lying in the grass. “Looks like Y/N’s not the only model anymore,” you teased.

I tried to act indifferent, but I would’ve stayed there all night if it meant seeing you laugh like that.

It makes me wonder, Harry—do you know how much power you have over your friends? Do you know that you have two people who worship the ground you walk on? How does it feel to be desired? How does it feel to have a choice in who you love?

. . .

Now — 2000

“You’re here!” Y/N beamed, running into Harry’s arms and wrapping her hands around his neck.

“Hey, baby,” he murmured, kissing her temple before setting her down.

The party was already in full swing. Students from across campus had crammed into Ellis’ dorm, the air thick with music, laughter, and the faint smell of alcohol.

“Hi, Dylan,” Y/N greeted, pulling him into a tight hug. “You’re dressed pretty smart. Planning on impressing anyone tonight?”

“Only you, darling,” Dylan replied, forcing a wink and a smirk despite the ache in his chest. Harry’s words from earlier still rang in his ears, but he pushed them aside.

Harry’s eyes darted to the cup in Y/N’s hand. “Have you been drinking?” he asked, his tone light but concerned.

“It’s water,” she whispered with a smile. Harry relaxed. She wasn’t much of a drinker, and he knew that.

“You look so pretty,” he said, marvelling at her dress. It was the one she wore for special occasions—one he had once told her was his favourite. A pang of guilt pricked at his heart as she looked back at him, her doe eyes filled with love.

“Come dance with me!” she said, pulling him toward the living room. “Both of you! My boys!”

Harry and Dylan followed her to the dance floor. The song Love My Way blared through the speakers, and Y/N moved between them, carefree and radiant.

At first, Harry danced with her, his focus entirely on Y/N. But then his gaze shifted to Dylan, who was swaying along with the music. Something unspoken passed between them, an invisible thread pulling them closer.

Harry laughed when Dylan moved towards him and for a moment they had forgotten everything around them. Dylan was just Dylan and Harry was just Harry, two boys who felt something they weren’t allowed to feel in the eyes of everyone else.

Harry was so close, their faces almost touching and for a moment Dylan thought they might kiss. But the blissful moment was broken as Harry stepped away, shaking his head, “N-No.” He whispered, “No, No, No.” He shook his head, his eyes frantic in search of Y/N.

“O-Oh, Harry,” Y/N yelped as he grabbed hold of her hand and lead her out of Ellis’ dorm and over to her own, three doors down from where the party was happening.

“What are you doing? Are you okay?” She cups his face in her hands and he exhales, trying to regain composure. This was the girl he loved, the only girl he could ever love and being in her hands felt like home. Didn’t it?

“Y-Y/N, I-I think I’m ready.” He presses his forehead against hers, kissing her bottom lip. “I’m ready.”

Her lips part in shock. She hadn’t been expecting this tonight and she wasn’t sure where Harry’s sudden desperation was coming from. He kissed down her neck as she tried to speak to him, “H-Harry, a-are you sure?” He nodded, his mouth leaving open mouthed kisses on her shoulder.

“I love you Y/N.” He looked into her eyes and she saw the sincerity behind them but also a hint of something else that she couldn’t quite place.

He started to peel her clothing off, his fingertips gently brushing against her soft skin. She tried to steady her breathing but her chest caved in and out as the oxygen in the room seemed to be escaping as he moved down her body. “Harry,” She whispered and he could hear the desperation in her voice. She reached for his hand and intertwined their fingers together.

Y/N was stripped down to her bra and underwear. This was the most skin she had revealed to anybody but she trusted Harry with everything in her, he was her best friend. He blew warm air over the thin material of her bra and her nipples hardened, an overwhelming sense of desire and lust flooding her insides. It was so new and overwhelming, her hands shaking as she ran her fingers through his hair and tugged on the roots.

“Baby,” He whispered, his hands cupping her thighs as he pressed kisses down her body.

“Harry, wait.” She murmured, his eyes looking up from where he was laying between her legs, “You’re still dressed.” She sat up and tugged on the hem of his sweater.

He laughed softly, as she struggled to pull the sweater over his head. She marvelled at the sound and kissed the tip of his nose. He pulled her onto his lap and she grinded her hips against his, “God look at you.” He whispered. “Don’t leave me Y/N. You can never leave me.”

“I’m never going to.” She said it like it was a promise.

His hands hooked the straps of her bra and he gently pulled them down, her breath hitching as the pad of his thumb brushed against the side of her breast. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in tightly, his face burying into the crook of her neck as he inhaled her.

This was going to be perfect, she thought, nothing could go wrong.

She grinded her hips against him again, a groan eliciting from his lip and a name escaping past the lips he had kissed her with so many times.

“Dylan.” Y/N froze. Her blood ran cold, and she pulled away as though Harry’s touch burned her.

“What did you say?” She pulled away, suddenly being naked in front of him didn’t feel right, being in a space alone with him didn’t feel right, everything she had ever felt for him before this moment didn’t feel right.

“Y/N,” He reached for her but she slipped away from him, slipped out of his touch, a touch she begged for just moments ago.

Harry’s heart no longer existed, wherever it was it had abandoned him and left him here in this terrible moment to fend for himself. He felt his eyes well up with tears as he watched Y/N try to pick up her discarded clothes. This wasn’t how it was meant to be, she was suppose to be picking up his clothes after a night making love to each other.

“Y-You said his name.” Y/N whimpered, she was panicking and Harry could do nothing but watch.

“Baby I-”

“NO.” She spat, “You don’t get to call me that. Not anymore.”

Harry watched as she turned around and clutched at her head, her knees buckling as she fell to the ground. She sobbed and sobbed, his hear wrenching at the sound of it. He had never heard a sound so painful in his life and he wanted to die in this very moment.

“No, No, No, No.” She sobbed, her shoulders shaking.

“Y/N please just let me explain.” Harry tried, crouching down in front of her and trying to place a hand on her now clothed shoulder.

“NO.” She pushed him away and leaped back, her back hitting the wall.

Harry was broken. He was truly broken. This was something well out of his reach in fixing and nothing he could do or say could make up for the fact that he had hurt the two people he loved and cherished the most in this world, in the span of one night.

“Get out of my room!” She began to scream, “Get out of here!”

A knock at the door shattered the silence.

“Hey, you guys in there?” Dylan’s voice called from the hallway.

Before Harry could respond, Y/N lunged for the door, anger blazing in her eyes.

“Get out of my room!” she screamed, her voice raw with betrayal.

Harry caught her before she reached Dylan, her fists pounding against his chest. “I’m broken,” she whimpered, her strength fading. “You broke me.”

And for the first time, Harry knew what it felt like to be utterly powerless.

. . .

Then — 2000

Dear Diary,

You know those secrets so big they feel like they could swallow you whole? The kind you promise never to tell a soul for as long as you live? At first, they consume you, taking over every thought and breath. But over time, they settle into the corners of your mind, a quiet part of you that only stirs when something triggers it.

Well, today I made one of those secrets.

It was a Tuesday, the day I volunteer in the library after school. There’s something peaceful about wandering the empty halls when no one else is around—a stark contrast to the chaos between periods. Mrs. Ableton asked me to deliver a stack of books to the English Literature cupboard. Our copies of The Catcher in the Rye were practically falling apart, so we’d ordered replacements.

As I walked through the hall, I caught movement out of the corner of my eye near the classroom where Harry and I have English together. Curious, I paused, almost dropping the books in my hands.

Harry was leaning against a desk, and Dylan stood in front of him. At first, I thought nothing of it and smiled, reaching for the door handle to make myself known. But then Dylan stepped closer, touched Harry’s hand, and kissed him.

I froze.

I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. The same lips that had kissed mine were now kissing the lips of my best friend.

I wanted to cry, but I was too shocked to do anything but stand there, watching. A part of me hoped I was trapped in a nightmare—that I’d wake up, call Harry, and laugh about how silly it all was. But when Dylan pulled back, Harry grabbed his arm and kissed him again.

That time, I couldn’t watch.

I backed away, the tears finally falling. My mind raced as I searched for somewhere—anywhere—I could cry louder, scream even, because this wasn’t something I could cry about quietly.

Harry was mine. But he was also Dylan’s.

By the time I went to bed, I’d convinced myself I would confront them. I’d tell them I saw what happened and ask if we could move on, pretend it never happened. But as the hours stretched on, I realized I didn’t want to speak about it. Talking about it would mean reliving it, over and over.

I didn’t want to remember.

I just wanted Harry.

So, this is a secret I’ll take to my grave. I’ll never tell a soul I watched Harry kiss Dylan in a way he never kissed me.

Even if it breaks me.

. . .

Now — 2000

“What happened?” Dylan asked. They were back in his dorm now, Harry pacing the room like a caged animal.

“She knows,” Harry muttered, his fingers pulling at his hair—a habit whenever he was upset. “She knows about us, what we did.”

Dylan collapsed onto the bed, his face pale. “How?”

Harry stopped and turned to him, shame written all over his face. “I said your name.”

Dylan’s shoulders sagged, and he buried his face in his hands. Images of Y/N, broken and sobbing on her bedroom floor, flashed through his mind. She had begged them to fix her, but they were the ones who broke her.

“It’s fine,” Harry rambled, his voice shaking. “I-I’ll give her some time, however long she needs. Then I’ll explain. I’ll explain it was a misunderstanding.”

“Harry,” Dylan said gently, standing to take Harry’s hands in his own. “I don’t think there’s enough time in the world for Y/N to get over this.”

Harry’s breath hitched, and a sob escaped him as he crumpled into Dylan’s arms. Dylan ran his fingers through Harry’s hair, resting his cheek against Harry’s head. “It’s okay, love,” he whispered. “Everything will be alright.”

“I hurt her so bad, Dylan,” Harry cried. “I love her, and I hurt her.”

“She was always going to find out,” Dylan said softly, the truth cutting deeper than any lie.

“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this,” Harry whispered.

Dylan sighed. “Why do you always talk about how things are meant to be? You act like your life was mapped out before you left the womb. Was it ‘meant to be’ that the three of us became inseparable? That you fell in love with both of us because you care so deeply? That I fell in love with you because you see art in everything? None of this was ‘meant to be,’ Harry. It just happened. And now we deal with it.”

Harry pulled back, tears streaking his face. “You still love me? Even after I pushed you away?”

Dylan smiled sadly, wiping a tear from Harry’s cheek. “I love you despite everything.”

Harry’s lips ghosted over Dylan’s, and for a moment, it felt like all their pain had been lifted. “Dylan,” Harry whispered, his voice trembling as he said the name again and again, like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.

“You can say my name as much as you want, love,” Dylan murmured. “I’ll always be here.”

. . .

Three weeks passed and the friends were no longer talking to each other, instead they acted as though they didn’t know each other as they passed each other in the hallway.

Harry had to try and not flinch when he saw Y/N scurry pass him, her eyes red and bloodshot as Ellis comforted her, glaring at Harry as they did. He wanted to speak to her but he was never given the chance to, rightly so considering what he had done to her.

Dylan and Harry, mostly Harry, thought it would best to keep their distance for a while. It killed them both to not be around each other but for the sake of their friendship with Y/N, they shared small moments of brief eye contact and touches throughout the day. Neither of them knew what was to come for the both of them but this limbo was enough for now.

Dylan ate lunch alone and as he did, he listened to the conversations of everyone around him. He wondered what it felt like for them to go about their day feeling like they belong in their own skin and not feel ashamed over who they love. He had never felt so alienated and so out of touch with himself.

He had been given an after school detention for an hour with Mr Henley after calling him sexist in front of the class. No one was around when he left the classroom until he saw a group of girls walking across the field.

At the end of the line was Y/N, wearing her netball uniform.

She must have caught sight of him because the next thing he knew, she was walking up to him. He had to check behind him to see he was seeing correctly.

“Hi Dylan,” She keeps her distance for reasons unknown to him but being around her again made him relax, he missed the friendship he shared right at the very beginning when they were thirteen and picking each other up from class to go to the sweet shop after school.

“Hey Y/N.” He offers her a smile.

“How are you doing?” He didn’t miss the way she gripped her bag like she was trying to stop herself from saying anything she really wanted to.

“I feel like I should be asking you that.” Y/N huffs, “I’ve had better days.” “Y/N-”

“Just tell me this,” She starts, “H-How long?”

Dylan decided he would be as honest and as straight to the point as he could be, it was what she deserved at least.

“Y/N the only thing we did was kiss one time. Harry stopped it because he’s in love with you.”

“And you’re in love with him.”

“Y-Yes.”

Y/N laughs incredulously, “We could never just be three best friends could we? It was always going to be complicated.”

“We could still be best friends Y/N.”

“But it’s not the same now is it?” She bit back and Dylan realised he needed to be careful with what he said. “Is he sad?”

“Terribly. Sometimes I hear him crying in his room at night.”

A silence fell between them which was strange. Y/N and Dylan has always had a brother-sister relationship, Dylan was always one to tease Y/N and make her laugh but right now it seemed all he was doing was making her upset.

“I’m moving schools.” Y/N confessed, “At the end of the term, I’m moving to Bridgewater. Mum’s moving in with her fiancee, and she wants me to be closer.”

“When were you going to tell us?” Dylan was shocked.

“I was given the choice. I could stay here or move to another school but if I stayed I’d have to stay at my dad’s during the holidays and I’m not in the mood to be lectured during my time away from school.”

Dylan didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t fathom the three of them not being together for such a long period of time. “I know what you’re thinking. I know I need to tell him but if we are going to have a shot at being friends again, I need to be away from you both.”

“Y/N,” Dylan shakes his head, “It doesn’t have to be like this,”

“You know I saw you when you kissed each other in the English Literature classroom?” She confessed, Dylan’s lips parting. “He kissed you in a way that he never kissed me. Everytime we kissed afterwards all I could think about was how different it was, how I desperately wanted him to kiss me the way I had seen him kiss you. I used to write in my diary about how I would die if I didn’t have him near me. I thought he would be the end of me but I didn’t realise you would be too.”

“I know he loves you Dylan and... I’m happy for you but I’m not selfless enough to stand beside you both and watch you fall in love when I so desperately love him too.”

“Y/N,” Dylan reaches out for her hand and takes it, “I’m sorry.” “I know Dylan, I know.”

. . .

Now — 2000

Harry’s leg wouldn’t stop jittering as he sat outside the school library on a Tuesday evening. He’d been waiting for this moment for weeks, replaying it over and over in his mind. He had spent countless hours rehearsing his apology to Y/N until it became a permanent loop in his thoughts.

When the library door swung open, he shot up immediately, brushing down his school trousers and running a hand through his hair. Y/N stepped out, holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand and her backpack slung over her shoulder.

She looked better than she had in weeks, and Harry’s heart ached at the sight of her. He would have carried her bag for her if they were still together.

Her expression changed when she saw him, her voice barely above a whisper. “H-Harry.”

“I came,” he said quickly, the words tumbling out. “I-I couldn’t believe it when I got your text. I’d have waited here for hours if you hadn’t shown up.”

Her face softened briefly, but she walked past him. “Follow me,” she said simply.

He trailed behind her as she led him to the gardens—the place where they’d shared their first kiss and filmed the music video for his and Dylan’s project. It was a space filled with memories of the three of them: Y/N doing homework, Dylan reading, and Harry strumming his guitar.

They sat down on the swinging bench, a familiar seat now heavy with unspoken tension. Harry noticed she kept her distance, and though every fiber of his being wanted to pull her close, he knew it wasn’t the right time.

“Who gave you those?” Harry finally asked, nodding at the flowers in her hand. A flicker of hope crossed his face.

“Debbie,” she said, referring to the school librarian. “It’s my last day working at the library.”

“You quit?” Harry frowned, his gaze flicking from the flowers to her face.

Y/N inhaled deeply before speaking. “I’m leaving, Harry.”

The wind seemed to leave him. “N-No,” he stammered, shaking his head. “You—you can’t. You can’t just leave. I won’t let you—”

“Harry,” she interrupted, reaching for his hand and holding it gently in her lap. “It’s what’s best.”

“How can you say that?” he asked, trying to pull his hand away, though her warmth made it impossible. “How can you say it’s what’s best? The three of us—we’re supposed to be together.”

“It’s a little too late for that, don’t you think?” Her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she looked at him. He looked thinner, more tired than she’d ever seen him, but she couldn’t help him—not anymore.

“Y/N, the thing with Dylan...” Harry began, his voice cracking. “I-I never meant for it to happen. We were just alone, I was stressed, and my emotions got the better of me. But I don’t feel the same way about him as I do about you.”

She shook her head softly. “Maybe that’s true, but not in the way you think. Dylan has always been there for you, Harry, in ways I never could. The way you look at him... it’s like he hung the stars in the sky just for you, like he tilted the sun so it would never blind you but still brighten your world.

“Maybe you do love me,” she continued, her voice trembling, “but love isn’t just about taking care of someone. It’s not carrying my backpack because it’s too heavy or doing my homework when I’m too tired after netball. Love is about being vulnerable. It’s about being taken care of, about laughing and crying and feeling like your heart is burning, and nothing can put it out.

“Now tell me, Harry. Did you ever feel that way with me? Were you ever vulnerable with me?”

Harry’s heart cracked. He opened his mouth to respond but couldn’t find the words.

“Please, Y/N,” he whimpered, his voice breaking. “I can’t be without you.”

“You have Dylan,” she said, trying to be the bigger person even though it shattered her inside. “It was never going to be me, Harry. Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me you don’t have feelings for him?”

Harry looked down at the ground, his silence all the confirmation she needed.

Her heart broke all over again, but she forced herself to stay strong. “Why do you have to go?” he asked, tears streaming down his face.

“Because, Harry,” she said gently, “what good would it do for the three of us if I stayed? You need to find out who you are, and so do I. Before me, it was you and Dylan. Now, it will end that way - with you and Dylan.”

“And what about you?” he asked desperately. “What will you do? Where will you go?”

“I don’t know yet,” she admitted. “But I’m grateful for what I’ve had. You and Dylan will always be a part of me. I hope one day we’ll forget this pain, and everything will be okay again.”

She reached out, brushing his hair back the way she used to. “I love you, Harry. I love you so much, I feel like I could burst.”

“I love you too,” he murmured. For the first time, he meant it in a way that felt true—not as a lover, but as a best friend.

“Be brave,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “And tell him you love him.”

Harry nodded as the tears fell freely, clinging to her like a child who didn’t want to let go.

She was going to love him forever. She now knew he wouldn’t.

. . .

“She’s gone,” Dylan said softly from the doorway of Harry’s bedroom.

Harry sat at his desk, a pen still in his hand though it hovered, unmoving, above the page. “Was she alright?” he murmured.

“She was better than we probably thought,” Dylan admitted, realizing how much they’d underestimated Y/N’s strength. They’d always thought it was their job to protect her, but she’d always been stronger than the two of them combined.

“Right,” Harry muttered, his voice hollow.

Dylan moved to sit on the bed, the springs creaking under his weight. “I was thinking we could have the leftover soup for dinner instead of going to the dining hall.”

“I’m not hungry,” Harry replied—a rare admission from someone who was always hungry.

Dylan frowned. “How long are you going to wallow in this? Can’t you see we’re both trying to do the right thing for your benefit?”

Harry turned to him, anger flashing in his eyes. “And what exactly are you doing?”

“I’ve been keeping my distance,” Dylan snapped. “Acting like we’re strangers when we’re the complete opposite. Do you know how much it kills me to not be near you? To have to hide from myself?”

Harry stood abruptly. “And you think I’m not struggling? You think I haven’t been grappling with everything I feel?”

“Oh, don’t give me that bullshit!” Dylan shouted, standing to meet Harry’s gaze. “You had someone who loved you for two whole years. You have everything, Harry—loving parents, the best grades, popularity. And you act like it’s all been taken from you because I kissed you!”

“Y/N is gone because of us!” Harry yelled back.

“No,” Dylan said fiercely, his voice rising. “She’s gone because of you! Because you’re too afraid to be honest about who you are! Because you care too much about what everyone else thinks. That’s why she’s gone!”

Their faces were inches apart, their anger radiating in the small space between them.

“How dare you? Can’t you see this is difficult for me to accept?” Harry shouted, his voice trembling with anger and frustration.

“What is?” Dylan snapped back, stepping closer. “What is so difficult, Harry? What’s so hard that you have to sit in the dark and ignore the only two people who’ve ever truly cared about you? Huh? What is it? Tell me. TELL ME.”

“I am in love with you!” Harry yelled, the words ripping out of him like they had been clawing to escape for years. “I am a fool, and I am in love with you.”

Dylan froze, stunned. His breath caught in his throat as the weight of Harry’s confession settled over him. The words he had dreamed of hearing for years hung in the air between them, impossible to ignore.

“What?” Dylan managed, his voice barely a whisper.

“I have loved you since the moment I met you,” Harry said, his voice softer now but no less raw. “And it’s been killing me every day since. I think of you—daily, nightly, every moment in between—and it tears me apart. Kissing you was the bravest thing I’ve ever done, and denying it afterward made me a coward. But here I am now, standing in front of you, a man stupidly, hopelessly in love with his best friend.”

Harry’s eyes were red and glassy, the weight of years of unspoken emotion etched into his every feature.

Dylan stared at him, speechless. He had imagined this moment countless times, but now that it was real, the depth of Harry’s vulnerability left him breathless.

“Kiss me,” Dylan whispered, his voice breaking. “Kiss me.”

Harry didn’t hesitate. He stepped forward, cupping Dylan’s face in his hands as though it had been crafted to fit perfectly in his palms. Then he kissed him—fervent and unrestrained, pouring every ounce of his love and longing into that singular moment.

Dylan’s world ignited. A piece of him that had been dormant for years finally came alive. His heart and mind, long at odds, now burned in harmony as Harry’s lips moved against his. He felt consumed, but in the most beautiful way, as if he could lose himself in Harry forever and never once regret it.

“I love you too, Harry,” Dylan whispered when they finally parted, their foreheads resting together.

“I bloody well hope so,” Harry murmured, a small laugh escaping his lips as tears spilled down his cheeks.

. . .

Now

Dear Harry,

I’d like to tell you a story that will more than likely make you happy.

One day, I was sat in a café, only a twenty-minute walk away from Southend Park School, which is closed down now and turned into a factory to fix airplanes. I bought my usual order of a decaf cappuccino and a slice of toffee apple cake. On this particular day, they added more sugar to my cappuccino, so I knew it would be a good day.

Across from me, a woman sat, her dog lying down at her feet as she read The Catcher in the Rye whilst sipping on a fruit tea. I didn’t think much of it, but I found it interesting the way she would read something and then shakily jot something down in the little notebook on the table.

Anyway, I had originally come to the café so I could write about our trip to Brighton. You were still complaining about the sand in your clothes just last night despite the fact that Brighton has no sand.

“It’s alright, love,” I comforted you, helping you put your pyjamas on.

“It bothers me, Dylan.” You responded, coughing into your handkerchief.

We don’t leave our small bungalow very often because you don’t like to leave the dogs and I don’t like change, but this trip to Brighton was one we had been planning for a year or so, so we didn’t really have much choice in the matter.

We spent a lot of time sat on the beach in the evenings whilst we were there, a blanket wrapped around the both of us as we fed the seagulls. I remember you saying you liked the sound of the ocean because it made you feel like we were seventeen again, running into the ocean without a care in the world.

You then proceeded to mention how worried you are about our Y/N, “I hope she’s doing alright, our Y/N.” You said and then went back to talking about a programme you watched the night before.

You had always worried about Y/N in the years after she left, always asking where she was or what she was up to despite the fact we never got in contact with her again. I also wonder whether or not she is okay, and I knew that if I were to see her again, I would thank her for allowing us the space to fall in love.

It was awfully difficult those months after we kissed in your bedroom. We were constantly berated by people we had never spoken to before, and I knew it bothered you for a while, but we overcame it just like we did every other obstacle in our lives... together.

Anyway, as I continued to write about our trip, the door to the café opened again and three middle-aged people walked over to the elderly lady in the corner. “Come on Mum, we’ve got to say goodbye to Dad now,” the man spoke to her, and she swatted him away. Something about that small action gave me a strong sense of déjà vu.

“Give me a moment,” the woman responded, and the three children sat at the table in the chairs around her.

Eventually, they managed to get her standing up. One of them placed her coat around her shoulders, and another handed her her walking stick. When she turned to look at me, I saw a familiar set of eyes looking straight at me.

The three people aiding her walked to the door and held it open for her. As she was about to step out the door, her walking stick fell out of her shaky hands and right at my feet. I quickly picked it up and handed it to her, her face brightening at the sight of me.

“Thank you.” Her voice still sounded the same all that time ago.

“No... Thank you, my darling.”

[lila-lou]

✨Houston - Pt. 2/2✨

Summary: While Jensen was away filming, a hurricane hit and you had to face it alone, burdened by a secret. When Jensen finally returned, relief and fear collided as you shared the news.

-requested-

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: Language, ANGST, Fluff

Word Count: 5722

A/N: No hate towards anybody. It's just fiction.

English isn’t my first language, please be lenient. 🩷

Meanwhile, Jensen sat in the plane, his leg bouncing nervously as he stared out the window. He had barely slept since hearing about the hurricane, his mind consumed with worry about you. The relief he had felt when his flight finally boarded was fleeting—now, all he could think about was getting to you. He needed to see for himself that you were okay, that the house had held up, and that you hadn’t been hurt during the storm.

The flight had seemed to drag on forever, and now, as the taxi slowly made its way through the neighborhood, his stomach churned at the sight before him. Chaos. Pure chaos. The remnants of the storm were everywhere—trees uprooted, power lines down, debris scattered across the streets. The taxi driver struggled to navigate through the mess, constantly having to stop and weave around fallen branches and debris.

Jensen stared out the window, his heart sinking further with every turn. The fire department was out in full force, and neighbors were already outside, doing their best to clean up the damage. But the destruction was impossible to ignore. Several houses looked like they had taken a beating—older homes missing porches, shattered windows, even one house that had its roof torn away by the storm. Cars had been flipped or smashed by falling trees, some nearly unrecognizable.

Jensen clenched his jaw as the car crept closer to home, his heart pounding harder with every piece of damage he saw. This was exactly what he had feared, what had kept him up all night. The thought of you being in the middle of this, alone, terrified, made him sick with guilt. He had brushed it off as “just a little rain”, and now he was driving through what looked like a war zone.

But as the taxi turned down your street, his eyes went straight to your house. Relief washed over him as he saw it still standing, mostly untouched, aside from some debris scattered across the yard. The house, which had been renovated just a couple of years ago, looked sturdy—massive stilts holding it high above the ground, windows intact, the roof still in place. You had insisted on the renovations, on making the house as secure as possible. He had thought it was a bit overboard at the time, but now, looking at the destruction around him, he was beyond grateful that you had been so insistent.

The taxi came to a stop just down the street, unable to drive any closer due to the debris blocking the way. Jensen paid the driver quickly and practically jumped out of the car, his feet crunching on the broken branches and debris as he hurried toward the house. His heart was racing as he climbed the steps to the porch, which, to his relief, was still intact, though bits of leaves and broken tree branches littered it.

“Please be okay”, he whispered to himself, fumbling for his keys with shaking hands. He unlocked the door and pushed it open, the silence inside the house overwhelming after the storm he had driven through.

“Babe?”, he called out, his voice tight with worry. The house was still kinda dark, the power clearly not restored yet, but it was eerily quiet compared to the chaos outside. He dropped his bags by the door and immediately started toward the guest room where he hoped you had taken refuge.

When he pushed open the door, his breath caught in his throat. There you were, curled up on the bed, wrapped in the blanket, fast asleep. The sight of you, safe and sound, made his chest tighten with emotion. Relief hit him hard, so much so that his knees almost buckled.

Jensen walked slowly toward the bed, careful not to wake you just yet. He could see the tear stains on your cheeks, the exhaustion written all over your face. You had been through hell last night, and he hadn’t been there for you. The guilt settled in deep, but right now, all that mattered was that you were okay.

He knelt down beside the bed, reaching out to gently brush a lock of hair from your face. His fingers were trembling slightly, but he just needed to touch you, to reassure himself that you were real, that you were safe.

“I’m so sorry”, he whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he watched you sleep. He had been so wrong. So, so wrong. And now, seeing you like this—vulnerable, curled up in the middle of the storm’s aftermath—he promised himself he would never brush off your fears again.

For now, he was just grateful that you were here, safe.

Jensen had just begun to stand, moving as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb you after the hellish night you’d just had. But as he shifted to leave, your eyes suddenly snapped open, wide and full of alarm. You blinked quickly, disoriented, your heart instantly racing as you jolted upright, still tangled in the blanket. For a moment, you didn’t know where you were, the remnants of the storm and the hours of restless fear swirling in your mind.

“Jensen?”. Your voice was barely above a whisper, laced with confusion and exhaustion. The sight of him standing there, in your room, felt surreal—like a dream you weren’t sure you believed yet.

Jensen froze, his eyes locking onto yours, and you could see the mixture of relief and guilt swimming in his gaze. He knelt back down beside the bed, his hand immediately reaching out to touch your arm, his thumb brushing your skin in gentle reassurance.

“Hey, it’s me”, he said softly, his voice thick with emotion. “I didn’t mean to wake you”.

You blinked again, tears instantly welling in your eyes as everything from the past night rushed back to you. The storm, the fear, the feeling of being so utterly alone… and now, seeing him here, in front of you, after all of it—it was too much. Without thinking, you threw your arms around him, pulling him close, needing to feel the solid warmth of him. Your body trembled against his, and you felt his arms tighten around you, pulling you into the kind of embrace that made everything else melt away.

"I missed you”, you whispered, your voice trembling as you pressed your face into his shoulder. The warmth of him, the familiarity, the safety—everything you had been craving through the terrifying hours of the storm—was finally here. You held him tighter, your arms wrapped around his neck, refusing to let go as if he might disappear again.

Jensen’s arms wrapped around you securely, his body shifting as he slowly sat down on the floor with you, cradling you in his lap. His legs stretched out underneath you as he leaned back against the wall, pulling you closer to him. He ran a hand gently through your hair, his other arm firmly around your waist, holding you as if he could shield you from everything you had been through.

“I missed you too”, he murmured softly against your hair. His voice was thick with emotion, the weight of his guilt still lingering in his words. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here”.

You shook your head, not ready to let go of him or the comfort of this moment. “It’s okay… you’re here now”, you whispered, trying to keep your voice steady, though the tremor of relief and lingering fear was still there.

He held you tighter, his breath warm against the top of your head.

You stayed like that for quite a while, wrapped up in the warmth of his embrace. His hand moved rhythmically through your hair, and you let yourself relax into him, feeling the tightness in your chest finally start to ease. It was the first time in hours that you felt safe, like you could finally breathe.

But even though the storm outside had passed, the one inside you hadn’t. The weight of what you needed to tell him pressed heavily on your heart, making it harder to fully sink into the comfort of his arms. You wanted to stay like this forever, safe and protected, but you knew there was something else, something you could no longer keep to yourself.

Eventually, Jensen shifted, pulling back gently, just enough to look at you. His eyes searched your face, concern still flickering in the depths of his gaze, though his hands remained firmly on your waist, as if grounding you. “It’s okay now”, he whispered softly, brushing his thumb across your cheek. “It’s over. You’re safe”.

His words were meant to comfort, but they stirred something deeper within you. It wasn’t over—not for you. Your lips trembled as you met his gaze, your heart pounding against your ribs. The tears that had been threatening to spill over since you’d woken up began to gather in your eyes again, but this time, they weren’t just from the relief of surviving the storm.

Jensen’s brow furrowed as he noticed the fresh tears welling up. He cupped your face, his thumb gently wiping at the corner of your eye. “Hey… it’s okay”, he said softly, his voice filled with concern. “It’s over now. I’m here”.

But it wasn’t just about the storm. You knew that, and deep down, so did he. You could see it in his eyes—the way he studied you, the way he seemed to sense that something else was wrong. The weight of your secret had become too heavy to bear, and the fear that had consumed you last night was nothing compared to the fear you felt now, sitting here in his arms, knowing what you had to say.

You swallowed hard, your voice barely a whisper as the tears began to fall freely. “It’s not… it’s not just the storm, Jensen”.

His eyes widened slightly, his expression softening with concern as he leaned in closer. “What is it, sweetheart? Talk to me”, he urged gently, his voice steady and reassuring. He stroked your hair, his touch calm, but you could feel the tension building in him, too. He knew there was more.

Your heart raced as you searched for the words, feeling the enormity of what you were about to tell him weigh heavily in the air between you. It had been gnawing at you for weeks, and you had tried so hard to push it down, to pretend it could wait. But now, after everything, you couldn’t hold it in any longer. It was now or never.

Your heart pounded even more in your chest as you tried to gather the courage to say the words. But instead, what came out was a trembling whisper: “Something happened”.

The moment the words left your lips, you felt Jensen tense. His eyes, which had been filled with concern and love, suddenly shifted, guarded now, as if a wall had gone up between you. His hands, once resting so protectively on your waist, slipped away slowly. He stared at you, his expression unreadable, but you could see the flicker of something darker behind his eyes—fear, uncertainty, maybe even suspicion.

“What do you mean, ‘something happened’?”, he asked quietly, his voice tight, controlled. There was a noticeable shift in his tone, and it made your stomach churn. He had pulled back, both physically and emotionally, and you could sense the guardedness, the way his body language changed, as if bracing for something painful.

You blinked in confusion, watching as his entire demeanor shifted in front of you. His hands, which had moments ago been cradling you so tenderly, were now resting on his knees, clenched into loose fists. His eyes were still on you, but they held a different kind of intensity now, as if he were preparing himself for the worst.

You opened your mouth to explain, to say the words that had been weighing on your heart, but Jensen spoke first, his voice suddenly low and careful. “What happened, exactly?”. He sounded like he was struggling to keep his emotions in check, and it took you a moment to realize why.

He was thinking something else entirely—something you hadn’t intended to imply.

The realization hit you like a freight train, and your heart sank. You saw the way he was looking at you now, the way his body had stiffened, and it became clear. He was thinking of something worse. He was thinking that maybe… you had done something to betray him while he was gone.

His guarded posture, the flicker of hurt in his eyes—it all made sense now. This wasn’t just about you being scared; it was deeper than that. He’d been through this before, hadn’t he? The memory of Danneel—his ex—flashing in your mind, of him telling you once, in a quiet and vulnerable moment, that she had said those exact same words to him once: “Something happened”. And what had followed had shattered him.

“Jensen, no”, you whispered, suddenly panicking at the thought of him believing that. “It’s not what you think. It’s not—”.

Jensen’s entire demeanor shifted in an instant, his face hardening as he pulled back further, the tension in his body palpable. His eyes darkened with a mix of hurt and anger, and when he spoke again, his voice was no longer soft or gentle. It was sharp, raw, like a wound reopening.

“The fuck it’s not what I think?!”, he snapped, his voice loud now, echoing through the room in a way that made you flinch. The anger was clear, but it was the pain in his voice that hit you hardest. “You say ‘something happened’ and then expect me not to think the worst? You think I don’t remember those words, don’t remember what they meant the last time someone said them to me?”.

His words cut deep, and you could see how much it was costing him to hold back. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides, his jaw tight, his body vibrating with the effort to control his emotions. The hurt in his eyes was so raw, so deep, it nearly broke you.

“No, Jensen, please”, you pleaded, your voice trembling as tears welled up in your eyes. “It’s not what you think. I swear, I would never—”.

But he wasn’t listening. Not fully. He was lost in his own pain, his own fear. “You have any idea what it’s like to hear those words again? After everything I went through with Danneel?”. His voice cracked, just slightly, but it was enough to show the depth of the wound this had opened. “She looked me in the eyes and said, ‘something happened,’ and it tore my life apart. I can’t—”.

You reached for him, desperate to make him understand, to make him see that this was different. “Jensen, please, just listen to me”.

He pulled back, his hands shaking as he ran them through his hair, pacing now, his emotions too much to keep bottled inside. “How can I just listen when the same damn words are coming out of your mouth? How can I not think—”. He stopped himself, his breath ragged, his chest rising and falling quickly as he tried to calm down, but you could see the storm inside him raging just as fiercely as the one you had endured the night before.

“I would never do that to you”, you said, your voice small but firm, tears spilling over now as you stood frozen in place, watching the man you loved unravel in front of you. “Jensen, please… it’s not what you think”.

His pacing slowed, but his expression was still dark, his eyes full of guarded hurt. “Then what the fuck is it, huh? If it’s not what I think, fucking tell me!".

The silence that followed was thick with tension. Your heart raced as you realized how quickly things had spiraled out of control. You had meant to tell him the truth, to relieve yourself of the secret that had been weighing you down, but now everything felt so much heavier.

You took a deep, shaky breath, your hands trembling as you finally said the words you’d been too afraid to say. “I’m pregnant”.

Jensen stopped in his tracks, his eyes widening in shock. The anger that had been radiating off him seemed to falter, replaced with disbelief, confusion. He stared at you, unblinking, as if he hadn’t fully processed the words you had just spoken.

“What?”.

His voice was quiet now, almost a whisper, as he looked at you like he didn’t quite understand.

“I’m… pregnant”, you repeated, tears streaming down your face, your voice breaking with the weight of everything that had built up inside you. “That’s what I meant when I said something happened”.

Jensen stood frozen, his face a mixture of shock and confusion. The anger drained from him in an instant, leaving behind only disbelief. He ran a hand over his face, taking a few steps back as if trying to wrap his head around it.

“You’re… pregnant?”.

His voice was barely audible, his eyes searching yours for confirmation, for understanding.

You nodded, your eyes falling to the floor as tears streamed down your cheeks. The weight of everything you’d been holding in felt unbearable now. You could barely bring yourself to look at him, terrified of what his reaction would be. Jensen stood there, staring at you in stunned silence, his hand coming up to cover his mouth as he took in the enormity of your words.

For a long moment, he didn’t say anything. You watched as his expression shifted—his eyes distant, his mind racing with a million thoughts. You could feel the tension rolling off him, the stress of the last weeks, the sleepless night, the whirlwind of emotions from just minutes ago. All of it seemed to come crashing down on him at once.

Then, without another word, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the room.

The sound of the door slamming echoed through the house, so loud and forceful that it made you jump. You heard the sharp crack as the doorframe splintered slightly under the impact, the sound tearing through the silence that followed. It was a small but audible reminder of just how broken everything felt in that moment.

You stood frozen, staring at the door, your heart pounding in your chest. The tears that had already been falling now came in a flood, uncontrollable, as the reality of what had just happened sunk in. He had walked out. He didn’t say a word.

Your legs felt weak, and you slowly sank to the floor, pressing your back against the wall as sobs wracked your body. The weight of the silence was unbearable, each second stretching into what felt like hours. You couldn’t shake the image of his face—his eyes wide with shock and disbelief, his body tense with so much emotion that he had seemed ready to explode.

And then he had just left.

Your mind raced, every possible scenario flashing before your eyes. Was this it? Was this the moment everything fell apart? The thought twisted painfully in your chest, and you wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to find some small comfort, but there was none. You were terrified. You had always known that this news would be difficult, that it might hurt him, but you never imagined he’d react like this. Not like this.

Minutes passed, though it felt like an eternity, and with every tick of the clock, the fear inside you grew.

You wondered where he had gone. If he would come back. If he was okay. Your heart ached with worry for him, but you were also hurt—crushed, really—by the way he had left. You didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to fix this or if you even could.

You wiped your tear-streaked face with shaky hands, your breaths coming in ragged gasps as you tried to regain some semblance of control over your emotions. You didn’t know how long you sat there, curled up on the floor, waiting. Waiting for him to come back. Waiting for answers.

Waiting for anything.

The minutes stretched on until the faint sound of a door opening in the distance jolted you from your thoughts. Your heart skipped a beat, and you quickly wiped your face again, pushing yourself up off the floor. You held your breath, listening for movement, for any sign of him coming back, but all you heard was the soft creak of the floorboards.

A few seconds later, Jensen appeared in the doorway, his expression still unreadable, but his anger seemed to have faded, replaced by something deeper—something you couldn’t quite place. His shoulders were slumped, and there was a weariness in his eyes that you hadn’t seen before.

For a long moment, neither of you spoke. The tension hung thick between you, but there was also an unspoken understanding that everything had changed. He stood there, his hands stuffed into his pockets, staring at the floor as if the weight of what had just happened was too much to bear.

Finally, he broke the silence, his voice hoarse and strained. “I needed some air”, he muttered, his eyes still fixed on the ground. “I just… I didn’t know what to say”.

You nodded, though the gesture felt hollow. “I get it”, you whispered, your voice barely audible. “I wasn’t expecting this either. I just… I didn’t know how to tell you”.

Jensen slowly lifted his gaze to meet yours, his eyes filled with a mixture of exhaustion and confusion. He took a step forward, and for a moment, you thought he might turn away again, but he didn’t. Instead, he stood there, watching you, the raw emotion between you so palpable it was almost suffocating.

“I’m sorry”, he said quietly, his voice cracking with emotion. “I shouldn’t have stormed out like that. I just… I couldn’t think. I didn’t know how to process it”.

You swallowed hard, blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall again. “It’s okay”, you whispered, though the ache in your chest told you otherwise. “I didn’t mean to drop it on you like that. I just didn’t know how else to say it”.

He nodded slowly, his hands still in his pockets, as if he didn’t quite know what to do with them. “I just…”. His voice faltered, and he let out a long, shaky breath. “I don’t know what to do with this. I wasn’t ready for this”.

“I know”, you said softly, taking a tentative step toward him. “Neither was I”.

He looked up at you then, his eyes meeting yours, and for the first time since the door had slammed, there was a softness there—an understanding. He didn’t look angry anymore, just lost, like he was trying to make sense of everything.

Jensen let out a slow breath, his body visibly relaxing as he stepped toward you, closing the distance between you. He reached out, his hand gently brushing against your arm, his touch tentative but comforting.

“I don’t know how to be okay with this”, he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. His hand, now resting lightly on your arm, trembled slightly. You could see the conflict swirling in his eyes—pain, confusion, and something deeper that tugged at your heart. He took a breath, and when he spoke again, his voice broke, exposing the vulnerability beneath his carefully controlled exterior. “I told you… I never wanted another baby”.

The words hung between you like a heavy cloud, and your chest tightened as you absorbed them, even though you had known this was how he felt.

“I know”, you whispered, the tears pooling in your eyes again, your voice shaking. “I know that, Jensen. That’s why I was so scared to tell you”.

He closed his eyes, exhaling slowly, as if trying to process everything all over again. “It’s just… I’ve been through this already. I thought I was in a place where… where that was behind me. And now…”. He trailed off, his eyes searching yours, filled with uncertainty. “I don’t know if I can do this again”.

The honesty in his voice was like a punch to the gut, but it wasn’t unexpected. You had always known how he felt about this, and now you could see just how deeply rooted that fear was in him. He wasn’t just worried about the practicalities of having another baby—he was afraid of how it would change your lives, afraid of the unknown, afraid of losing the stability you had both worked so hard to build.

“I don’t want to force this on you”, you said softly, the tears finally spilling over as you looked down, unable to meet his eyes any longer. “I never wanted to hurt you with this. But I didn’t want to hide it from you, either”.

Jensen reached out then, his fingers lifting your chin gently, his touch warm against your skin. “You’re not forcing anything on me”, he said, his voice soft but firm. “I just… I need time. This is big. And it’s not just about me. It’s about us. About you. I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone in this”.

His words gave you a small sense of relief, but the fear still clung to you, heavy and suffocating. “What if you can’t do this?”, you whispered, the question slipping out before you could stop it. The fear of losing him, of this driving a wedge between you, was almost unbearable. “What if you don’t want me anymore?”.

Jensen’s face softened, and for the first time since he had stormed out of the room, you saw the love and care in his eyes. He cupped your face with both hands now, brushing away the tears from your cheeks with his thumb. “I’m not saying I don’t want you. I would never say this. I’m saying I don’t know how to wrap my head around this… yet”.

The vulnerability in his voice echoed your own, and for a moment, the raw honesty between you felt like a lifeline. You had both been thrown into something you hadn’t expected, something neither of you had planned for, but in this moment, it wasn’t about blame or anger.

“I’m scared too”, you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how we’re going to do this. But I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want this to drive us apart”.

Jensen’s expression softened further, and he pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around you in a protective embrace. He pressed his forehead to yours, closing his eyes as he held you tightly. “I don’t want to lose you either”, he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “We’ll figure this out. I just… I need time to get there. To wrap my head around it”.

You nodded, tears still streaming down your face, but for the first time since you’d told him, you felt a small flicker of hope.

“We’ll figure it out”, Jensen whispered again, his voice steady this time, as if he was convincing himself as much as he was you. “I love you. That hasn’t changed, and it won’t. Never”.

You let out a shaky breath, clinging to his words as you buried your face in his chest. The fear, the uncertainty—it was still there, but in this moment, wrapped in his arms, you knew that whatever happened next, you wouldn’t face it alone.

Jensen held you tighter, his arms wrapping around you as if he could shield you from everything in the world. He pressed his forehead to yours, and for a long moment, he didn’t say anything, just breathed with you, letting the tension between you slowly dissolve. The weight of the past few hours still lingered in the air, but his touch, his closeness, was a balm to the raw emotions swirling inside you.

“I’m just glad you’re okay”, he whispered, his voice barely audible, as though he were afraid of breaking the fragile peace between you. “I’m so damn glad you’re safe”.

His words hit you in a way you didn’t expect. After everything—the fear, the storm, the confession you had been dreading—he wasn’t focused on the whirlwind of emotions that had just unfolded. Instead, his focus was on you, on the fact that you had made it through, that you were here, with him, despite the chaos that had threatened to tear everything apart.

The intensity of his relief was palpable, and you could feel the tension in his body ease slightly as he whispered those words, as if the realization that you were safe was finally sinking in for him. You pulled back just enough to look into his eyes, which were still soft, full of concern and something deeper—something that cut through the uncertainty of the situation.

“I was so scared”, you whispered back, your voice shaking as fresh tears welled up in your eyes. “I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if you’d—”.

He cut you off gently, brushing your cheek with his thumb, his touch steady and reassuring. “I’m here”, he said, his voice firmer now, though still laced with emotion. “I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to figure this out. I don’t have all the answers right now, but I know I don’t want to lose you. And I know I’m just… so relieved you’re okay. I couldn’t handle it if something had happened to you”.

His eyes searched yours, and you could see how deeply he meant every word. The vulnerability in his voice, the rawness of his emotions, made your heart ache in a different way now. You could see how the fear of almost losing you—not just physically, but also emotionally—had affected him. The weight of it all had pressed down on him in ways you hadn’t even realized.

Jensen's hand gently slid from your cheek down to your chin, his fingers brushing lightly against your skin as he tilted your face up toward his. His touch was soft but deliberate, grounding you in the moment as the raw emotions between you seemed to quiet for just a second. Your heart pounded in your chest, but not out of fear this time—it was something else, something deeper.

His eyes searched yours for a brief moment, as if making sure you were okay with what was about to happen. And then, slowly, he leaned down, closing the small distance between you. His lips met yours with a tenderness that made your chest ache, the kiss soft, slow, full of all the unspoken emotions that had been swirling between you for what felt like forever.

The world outside seemed to fade away, the storm, the fear, the uncertainty, all of it dissolving as his lips moved against yours. It was a kiss that wasn’t rushed or desperate, but one that spoke of relief and connection—like he was trying to tell you with every brush of his lips that no matter how hard things got, he was still here, still with you.

You melted into him, your hands instinctively reaching up to rest against his chest as you kissed him back, the warmth of his body grounding you in the moment. Every fear, every doubt you’d carried over the past few weeks seemed to evaporate, replaced by the overwhelming sense of safety that came with being close to him.

When he finally pulled back, just slightly, he rested his forehead against yours again, both of you breathing heavily from the weight of the moment. His hand moved from your chin to the back of your neck, gently holding you in place, like he couldn’t bear to let go just yet.

“I’m not going anywhere”, Jensen whispered again, his voice rough with emotion. “No matter what happens, I’m right here with you. Always”.

Your chest tightened with emotion as you nodded, unable to find the words to say what you were feeling. Instead, you leaned into him again, pressing your lips to his, this time with a little more urgency, needing to feel the reassurance of his presence, needing to know that he really was there, that you weren’t alone in this.

Jensen kissed you back, his grip tightening slightly on the back of your neck as he pulled you even closer, his other arm wrapping around your waist. His kiss was deeper this time, more sure, more certain, and you could feel the shift in him, the way he was letting go of some of the fear and replacing it with the quiet determination to face whatever came next together.

When you finally pulled away again, you rested your head against his chest, the steady thrum of his heartbeat comforting you in a way that nothing else could. He held you there for a long moment, his chin resting on top of your head as his arms wrapped securely around you, as if he was making sure you knew that he was still with you, still holding you close.

“We’re going to be okay”, Jensen whispered, his voice steady now, full of quiet conviction. “No matter what happens, we’re going to be okay”.

And as you stood there, wrapped in his arms, you believed him.

———————————

A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰 

-

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[sourcherryandsprinkles]

The hot tub | Rafe Cameron x Reader

Advent calendar day three: Ski trip

Summary: Rafe invites you to spend the week with his family at their cabin in Aspen. Things may happen when you get in the hot tub after a long day going down the slopes

Warnings: 18+, unprotected p + v, slight choking, semi-public (outside), impact play (spanking once)

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

As expected, the Cameron’s cabin in Aspen was breath-takingly beautiful. The walls of the living area were made of round wood, making it seem like you were living inside a tree…with a luxury decor. There were large windows, massive couches, cherry-wood tables, and a classic bear skin in front of the large fireplace. 

You felt like you were standing in a holiday Hallmark movie. 

‘’How many properties does your parents own?’’ You brushed your hand over the plush throw at the end of your and Rafe’s bed, smiling at how soft it felt. ‘’Don’t they have a house in the Bahamas?’’ 

‘’A lot,’’ Rafe replied while putting away some things in the closet. ‘’I lost count, honestly. My dad collects estates and Rose decorates them, it’s their thing,’’ he explained. ‘’I rent the ones we are not using...except the Bahamas house. We keep that one for family only.’’

You nodded, secretly wishing your parents were that rich. You could get used to vacationing in the mountains during winter break. It’s a weather contrast compared to South Carolina. 

‘’Do you come here often? Have you mastered a winter sports during your lavish vacations?’’ 

Rafe chuckled, closing the door of the large closet. ‘’I can’t ski, if that’s what you’re asking me. Or skate. Ice skating is Sarah’s thing.’’ He grabbed his toiletry bag from the suitcase and placed it in the en-suite bathroom next to yours. ‘’My dad forced me to take snowboarding lessons since I was a kid, but I was better at flirting with girls at the ski resort.’’

Shaking your head, you laughed quietly. ‘’What am I not surprised?’’ 

After everyone had unpacked, you bundled in your winter layers and headed down to the ski resort for some winter activities. You and Rafe rented equipment to go down the slopes while Sarah and Wheezie went to the skating rink. 

The afternoon was spent mostly falling on your ass and watching Rafe showing off. He was no professional, but you were impressed as you watched him do stunts — something you could never see yourself doing. 

When the sky started to go dark, you returned to the cabin to warm up and eat dinner. Rose’s cooking skills pleasantly took you by surprise, not expecting her to be much of a chef since she and Ward had a lot of money, but she made a mean baked mac’n cheese. 

‘’Are you sure?’’ you said when Rafe suggested you try the hot tub. 

You had never used a hot tub in the winter — with actual snow around. It sounded cold, but Rafe assured you the warm water would keep you warm…or else he would.

The sky was fully dark outside and snow was falling at a slow pace, creating a beautiful picture as you stepped out in your bra and underwear. When you packed for a trip to Aspen, you didn’t think you would need a bikini. Now you were regretting not bringing one. 

While the warm water sounded pleasant, you couldn’t help but think about how the chlorine of the hot tub will ruin your nice bra, so Rafe came up with a solution.

‘’Just take it off.’’ 

‘’I’m not gonna get naked in the hot tub,’’ you replied, shooting your boyfriend a glare as steam rose from the tub into the cool air. ‘’What if your family comes outside and wants to join?’’ 

‘’I’d rather they don’t. The sight of you in that bra and panties got me so hard,’’ Rafe said, his hand wandering up your thigh. 

You glanced down and through the bubbles of the underwater jets, catching the outline of his cock through his boxers, strained against the material. A light flush covered your cheeks, matching the color of your bra. 

‘’But if you’re that worried about anyone coming,’’ he continued, taking your hand and helping you step in. ‘’My dad strained his back when skiing so Rose is taking care of him. Sarah is probably trying to contact her boyfriend who was not invited on the trip, and as for Wheezie…I don’t know. She’s in her room, reading or watching a movie.’’

You sat on the edge and raised your gaze, eyeing the sliding doors. 

‘’No one is gonna come out here,’’ Rafe promised, reading your persistent worry. ‘’Except maybe a bear.’’

A new fear was unlocked. You turned to the other side and looked over the deck and into the dark forest. ‘’A bear?!’’ 

Rafe grinned, messing with you. ‘’I’m joking. There’s no bears here at this time of the year. They’re hibernating.’’ He hooked a finger underneath the delicate band of your panties, holding back from taking them off with his mouth. ‘’So…will it be with or without the panties?’’

Fuck it. 

You removed both items and let Rafe pull you in the water, the ripples from the jets causing sparks to tingle up your spine as they hit your bare cunt. It felt like using a nice shower head directly on your clit, but less strong. The pleasure was short-lived as Rafe settled you on his lap in a straddling way, a groan leaving his throat when your ass came in contact with his stiff cock. 

You bit back a giggle and loosely slid your arms around his neck. He was so beautiful.

‘’That wasn’t so difficult, wasn’t it?’’ Rafe asked, his hands sliding over your thighs and up your sides, making you feel a bit exposed. 

You rolled your eyes and rubbed your hands up and down his well-defined shoulders and chest, appreciating the time he had been spending with Topper and Kelce at the gym. They were always ruining your and Rafe’s plans, but those gym sessions gave him a body you wanted to bite into. 

You lowered your mouth to his, slowly kissing as the water moved around your bodies. The cold air had caused your nipples to peak, not yet submerged in the warm water. A shiver ran through you and, as if he had read your mind, Rafe’s hands moved to your breasts and began to toy with them. You sighed at the touch and ground your hips against his, relishing the feeling of his hard cock through his boxers as it rubbed against your clit just right. 

‘’I need you. Now,’’ you urged, breaking the kiss and reaching under the water to pull at Rafe's only piece of clothing, your earlier worries about someone catching you naked leaving your desire clouded mind.

Rafe nodded and pushed you off him, which left you confused. You opened your mouth to ask why he had pushed you off, but he motioned for you to turn around and grab the edge of the tub. A moan threatened to slip, realizing what he was doing. He was going to take you from behind. 

You heard the water swish as he moved behind you, and parted your legs so everything was exposed to his view. 

‘’That ass is so perfect,’’ Rafe groaned, giving it a hard smack, eliciting a pained squeak from you, before lining himself at your entrance, a mischievous smirk spreading on his face as he pushed the tip in — only the tip. ‘’Is that what you want, baby?’’ His tone was teasing, playing with you. ‘’No, that’s not enough, uh?’’ 

You whined, pushing back against him. ‘’Please, Rafe, don’t tease.’’ 

Giving in to your demand, he grabbed your hips and slowly pushed until he was all in, feeling your tight walls squeeze him. He moaned at the sensation, giving you a few seconds before starting to pull out until only his tip was inside you and slowly pushing himself into you again, doing this a few times. 

‘’Rafe,’’ you warned again, your core starting to ache, just wanting to be fucked senseless. 

Then, his thrusts were hard and fast as you gripped the edge of the hot tub, water splashing over the edge from the movements. You were holding back your cries, trying to be quiet, but the pleasure was too intense for you to remember. 

Rafe molded his front to your back as he kept pounding into you, kissing your shoulder as his hand was coming around your neck. ‘’You like this, baby? You like when I fuck your tight and pretty pussy?’’

You moaned louder, forgetting about the other Camerons inside the house. 

The next morning was going to be very awkward.

—

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[mattatouilletkachuk]

hi! 30. “You’re definitely your mother/father’s child.” with Matthew Tkachuk please

The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far || Matthew Tkachuk

Prompt: 30. “You’re definitely your father’s child.”

WC: 1.2k

A/N: I told y’all I would work on my requests.

Warnings: children fighting (but it’s all in good fun. )

Summary: Off season meant that your husband was home every day, which provides a break for you and time with their dad for the kids. The same kids that idolize their father so in hindsight, perhaps you should have seen this coming. After all, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

It was no secret that the off-season was your favorite part of the year. You loved to watch your husband do something that he loved and enjoyed and ever since your children got old enough to bring to their father’s games, hockey had become special to everyone in the house. The off-season is special in a different way. Matthew was at home and even though he trained five days out of the week, he was still mostly at home spending time with you and your two kids.

It was nice to wake up in the morning and have Matthew beside you and every morning it felt like you were falling in love with your family all over again when your son and daughter would sneak into the room and cuddle against you and Matthew. You would always take a minute to watch fondly as your husband squeezed both of the kids to his chest before you left the comfort of your bed to make breakfast.

The afternoons were always spent outside. You soaked up the Summer sun as you sat on one of the patio chairs drinking sweet iced tea and watching as Matthew and your children ran around playing.

Today was no different. You relaxed as you watched Matthew run around the backyard with the kids. You couldn’t make out what game it was and suspected that it was one that the kids had made up. It didn’t matter much to you, just as long as no one was getting hurt and they got their energy out. At the ages of six and four, your daughter and son, respectively, had more energy in them than anyone else you knew.

You laughed as you watched your son, Link, screech as Matthew threw him over his shoulder and took off running. The screeching quickly turned into loud laughter not just from your son but your husband too. Your daughter, Maxie, giggled hysterically as she chased her father and brother.

It didn’t take long for her to catch up to them, after all, Matthew was running slower than usual so she had a chance.

“Run!” Matthew called out loudly as he set Link down. “Save yourself!”

Maxie who had wrapped herself around her dad’s legs looked at her younger brother's small frame as he ran in the other direction. You winced, already knowing what was likely to happen. Your daughter was highly competitive, a trait she likely inherited from her father, and she wasn’t one to go easy on anyone if she wanted to win. Not even her brother. Especially not her brother.

You fought the urge to get up from your set and get involved before things got out of hand. You reminded yourself that Matthew was home and that you could take a step back from being the disciplinary one.

It was just last week that you were talking to Matthew’s mom when she told stories about Matthew and his siblings when they were younger. When you mentioned your worries about your own kids fighting she eased your thoughts, assuring you that siblings fight, especially when their last name happens to be Tkachuk.

It was as you were thinking back on the conversation that you heard a thud followed by a cry. Your eyes landed on your children tangled together on the grass. You didn’t see what had happened but with the way Maxie was nearly sitting on top of her brother, you realized that she probably tackled Link to the ground. Your daughter still had a hard time understanding how rough she could be with her brother, not yet understanding how even though they were two years apart, four and six was still a significant difference.

You were about to get up when Matthew came walking up to the kids. You bit your lip to hold back the laugh that wanted to escape. You couldn’t remember the last time that Matthew looked so serious or when that look was directed at his kids, the same kids that he claimed were “perfect little angels.”

He plucked Maxie off of her brother as if it was nothing and set her on her feet and with a disappointed frown said, “I know you want to play but you need to realize that your brother is still a lot smaller than you and you shouldn’t be so rough with him.”

“Daddy-“ Maxie tried, looking up at Matthew with round eyes that were his exact replica. You could see it in the way she was behaving. She had no idea what to do or say because her dad was never the one to scold her. If it was you you would be on the receiving end of her sassy attitude that she reserved just for you.

“Your brother deserves an apology,” Matthew said as he helped Link stand up. Your son was still sniffling and his face was red. He wasn’t seriously hurt and was likely crying from the shock of being hit so hard.

Your daughter crossed her arms and looked at her brother. It was like looking at a smaller version of your husband as she frowned and shook her head. “If he didn’t want to get hit he shouldn’t have been in my way.”

This time you couldn't hold back the snort that left you at her words. You could have sworn you heard Matthew say something just like that before. Neither your daughter nor Maxie looked at you but your son did. His red tear-stained broke your heart and you leaned forward and opened your arms for him. He wasted no time in running into your arms.

You wrapped your arms around him and ignored the snot and tears he got on your shoulder.

“It’s time for you to cool down,” Matthew said.

“But-“

“Go to your room until you figure out how to apologize,” Matthew said, his voice stern.

Maxie huffed in frustration but didn’t argue. Matthew followed behind her and when she walked through the back door, ignoring both you and Link, Matthew stopped. He watched from beside you as she disappeared into the house and up the stairs to her bedroom.

Finally turning to you he let out an exasperated sigh, “What do I do now?”

You were combing your fingers through your son’s curls when you shrugged, “Wait for her to come out and apologize. It won’t take her long, she’ll get hungry soon.”

Matthew groaned, sitting in the seat across from you. He raked his own fingers through his short hair. Now that everything had finally calmed down and Link was no longer crying you finally let yourself appreciate just how amusing this whole thing was.

“What’s so funny?” Matthew asked, looking confused and exhausted, as if dealing with his troublesome daughter was going to take years off of his life.

“You do realize that she’s exactly like you, right?” You said in between giggles.

Matthew rolled his eyes but smiled anyway, flashing the gap between his teeth and making your heart beat a little bit faster than normal.

“In that case, we’re in trouble for the rest of our lives.” He chuckled.

Link finally pulled back from you to look at Matthew and then at you. His face had gone back to its normal color and you wiped away the tears and snot from his face. His curls were everywhere and his wide eyes met yours as he asked softly, “What about me?”

You flicked your eyes over to your husband briefly before looking back down at your son. He wasn’t like Matthew when it came to his mannerisms but your little boy loved fiercely, and as much as a four-year-old could. He was Matthew’s twin in everything but roughness.

You pushed his curls to the side and kissed his forehead, “you’re definitely your father’s child.”

[kill4luvina]

This Action Will have Concquences

Part 2

Summary: You've been embarrassed ever since the incident with your boyfriend in the parking lot. He's been on you, not letting you even text or go out with any of your friends. While sneaking out to a club with your homegirls while he was away on a short business trip, you bump into Gojo, who takes you home and swears he won't let you go.

Content MDNI : Unprotected Sex, Cheating, Going to the Club, lowk some ghetto shi...and more. Also not proofread (the smut part mostly & i lowk rushed im srry yall :(.

tags ; @baddiereads

"Said you got a boyfriendFuck that gotta do with me? I know you wanna come slide through We finna fuck and then smoke on these trees"

Ever since that night, Gojo found himself thinking about you none stop. When he'd wake up, he'd have flash backs to that night. When he'd go to sleep the he couldn't help but picture your face and how pretty you looked drowned in pleasure.

He had tried to text you, call you, even ask others about you, but nothing. Confused and weary, he tried to ignore it for a few weeks, depression swallowing him whole. He had tried speed dating to get the idea of you out of his head, but nothing worked. His friends worried and forced him to go out one night.

You, on the other hand, had no access to your phone. That night, Toji took your phone, noticing how upset you had gotten with him, which made him believe you cared more about that man than him. While he wasn't right, he wasn't completely wrong.

You'd stare at the phone he had gave you in replacement of yours. The only number there being his, and your best friend whose number was hidden from him.

Luvina : We're going to the club today, i'll pick you up at 9..

You : wait, wait, i know he's on a trip but what he comes early? or i get caught up-

Luvina : You haven't left the house in almost a month you need to see people and have fun. be ready

You : ok

Your eyes would water a little; she was right, and you’d been having mixed emotions about him. You didn’t want to be with Toji anymore, but he treated you so well in a terrible, twisted way. Your head was spinning with thoughts as you looked at the time.

5 p.m. You quickly put your head back on the pillow, falling asleep to clear your mind. You’d wake up again around 7 before dragging your tired body to the bathroom. "Alexa, play 'Sumin' by Sexy Red,," you’d say as you got into the shower, the warm water waking you up.

"Playing 'Pound Town' by Sexyyred," Alexa would reply as the beat slowly started to get you out of your depressed state. Mid shower you'd catch yourself shaking a little ass, laughing as the excitement started to catch up to you.

"I'm F R E E Fuck Nigga Free!" You'd chant with the music playing in the back as you did your makeup in the mirror, dancing to the music. The music would dim down, and "Incoming FaceTime from Luvi" would be announced by Alexa.

You'd quickly answer your phone as Luvi started screaming in excitement, seeing how pretty you looked. You'd place your phone down in your PJ pants and cropped top, twerking a little as she hyped you up.

"Oohhh, whats the outfit idea?" She'd ask, you'd shrug as you fixed your lash extensions. "Alright, I'ma be there in like 45 mintues tho, i'm picking up Mimi n Juju." She'd say before you nodded and she hung up. You'd walk into your room before almost destroying your room looking for your best outfit.

"Incoming call from Toji." You'd heart would drop as you quickly turned off your phone. You'd quickly answer, putting on the fakest sleepy voice ever. "mmh?' you'd answer "oh, was you sleeping?" he'd ask.

"mhmm" "alright, i'll call your tomorrow morning, sleep well mamas." he'd hang up before you could say anything making you jump up and down in excitement quickly putting your phone on DND. You'd soon find yourself dress in a skimpy pair of jean shorts you had.

Ass completely out, and a tight-ass black crop top that barely held your tits from the bottom. The Cleavage from the top still showing, your nipple piercing wanting to be seen. You'd giggle at the thought of your man completely crashing out at the sight of you in an outfit like this.

You'd accessorize, wearing your favorite DollsDream bracelets along with one of your mans most expensive watches dripped in diamonds with a black face, and your custom-made Cuban link chain with your name on it.

The doorbell rang as you quickly ran to the door, your three homegirls screaming and hyping you up in excitement as they came inside. You'd run up to your room, quickly grabbing your black Rick Owens sneakers. Coming back down the stairs the moment they were completely on, your eyes lit up in excitement.

The bottles of Don Julio, Hennessy, Absolut Peach, and the carts had you jumping around in excitement. It had been almost a year since you had last been to an actual club, and you were going to turn up because it could be your last. Already knowing he would see you through the cameras later if he ever had suspicions.

In the car, you and your friends in the back seat of the Uber were turning the fuck up, Mimi shaking ass to the music as you all laughed, the alcohol already starting to take effect.

By the time you all were there, you were the only one out of the three of your friends who was only tipsy; they were about drunk as hell. You'd all enter the club cutting the line because Juju's man was the owner's close friend.

Around two hours into the party, you found only you and Luvina together on the dance floor dancing. Juju was with her man, and Mimi was flirting with a guy. "Y/n?" You'd hear a familiar voice, making you freeze up, going from grinding up against Luvi to now turning to find where the voice came from.

"Gojo?" You'd gasp, memories and embarrassment flooding you immediately. "AAA!" Luvina would scream, now on the floor laughing, drunk as hell. You'd be startled, looking down quickly and getting your friend up from the floor. "Y'all need a ride home?" He'd ask as he watched your friend's actions with a concerned manner.

"That would actually be wonderful," you'd smile, trying to ignore your friend, who was acting out for a guy who was staring at her from across the club. Obviously hinting it was time for her to be tucked into bed.

After dropping her off, you and Gojo silently sat in the car outside her house. "Gojo- about what happened-" you'd start as he looked over, intrigued by what you were about to say. "I—" you were at a loss for words.

"I want you right now." You truly meant it, but it was the alcohol giving you the courage to say it. "Right now?" he'd ask, confused and caught off guard. You didn't even realize when but you were now making out with him. A Sloppy and messy make-out session lasting for a hot minute as you slipped your hands into his pants.

You'd quickly remember you had a man, making you pull away quickly, guilt filling you as Gojo almost whined at you pulling away. "We can't do this I got a whole nigga omg.." you'd start to panic as gojo looked over at you.

"bro, fuck that gotta do with me & what we got going on right now?" he'd say starting his car as he'd start to drive, he only lived a few mintues away, your eyes looking anywhere but at him. The moment he parked in his driveway, he was all over you, bringing you the straddle his hips in the driver's seat.

You'd let yourself fall victim to all your sober thoughts becoming drunk actions. Slopply moaning and making out with him, the warm night air hitting your the moment he opened the door carrying you to the door.

"F-FUCK!!" you'd scream, as your hands flung to gojo's hair. Eye's rolling back as he devoured your pussy, on your 3rd orgasm as he ignored the aching of his dick tending to you. Completely ignoring his needs.

"Never gonna let you go." He'd repeat for almost the 100th time since he has gotten his hands on you. Bringing his head up to give you another sloppy kiss as he pushed his mouth agasint your wet and messy cunt.

Moaning into the kiss as you felt him enter, your eyes rolling back as you felt him start to slowly thrust into you. Your left leg resting on his shoulder as he held the other. "so- good!" you'd cry out as his fat dick stretching you out perfectly, even better then your boyfriends.

You'd rememeber about him for a second, until gojo started pounding into you. Your mind completely going blank as you moaned and creamed all over his dick. Your boobs bouncing as he pounded even deeper into you. Your back would arch as you felt the build up break, as you came all over his dick.

Squirting from this being your 4th orgasm of the night, your eyes watering at the overstimlation. Your hand weaking trying to push him away, as he moved it kissing your hand before going right back to ramming your shit.

"C-cumming!!" You'd scream, your 5th orgasm having you seeing stars, as he slopply started to slow down before busting a fat nut right in your pussy. The cum mixing with your fluids as he pulled out, watching it lowly drip out your wrecked cunt.

"too- good-" you'd say in between heavy breaths your legs shaking, gojo smiling at the praise. "Better than that other guy right?" he'd asked "yeahh-" you'd babble half asleep as he held your neck giving you a kiss before you were completely knocked out on his bed.

You'd deal with everything tomorrow morning, knowing that not being home by now was already terrible. Oh well.

(idk if yall fw this igu with a part 3 if yall ask in the comments)

"You and your nigga really ain't a fit Forgetting about him when I'm in the mix Shawty be bussin' when I'm on her clit"

[lunajay33]

Just Us🩶Part.2

Summary: In a world full of walkers y/n was able to escape with her best friend, but maybe that friendship turns into something more

Pairing: Carl Grimes x f!reader

A/n: This story starts when the group is on the road after Terminus but I’m gonna make y/n and Carl 18 just to speed along the story!! This is also my first Carl Grimes series! This story includes 18+ scenes, pregnancy and more

Part.1<-

•Masterlist•

It’s been a week now since we got to Alexandria, we were still settling in, a few of us were still on guard but it was better than being out there, constantly in fear and always hungry, now we had food and a home

I was sitting on the porch with Judith in my lap as I rocked the chair back and forth as she played with a little stuffy someone from the community gave to her, Daryl was sitting against the railing tinkering with his cross bow, it was silent between us mostly, I always found comfort around Daryl he just gave that silent peace that I desperately needed sometimes

Judith was babbling as she pushed the bear in my face

“Oooo you like the bear sweetie?” I said taking it from her and wiggling it around as she giggled

She calmed down holding the bear and resting against my chest

“She really likes ya” Daryl said from his spot

“I’m glad, I’d do anything for her, do you wanna hold her?” I asked

“Nah don’t wanna get ‘er dirty” he said motioning to his greasy dirty hands

We heard voices close so we both looked to the street on alert, it was Carl and this girl I learned was Enid, Carl started talking a lot about her a few days after we came here and it was starting to eat at me, I noticed him drift a bit away from me, he wouldn’t be affectionate as much, I know we aren’t official but it sure felt like it and now he was interested in the new shiny toy

They were walking down the street right the house, I sighed biting my lip to prevent the built up emotions from overflowing

“Who’s that?” Daryl asked

“Enid, Carls been hanging out with her a lot, I’ve seen them climb the wall, I’ve barely even seen Carl much anymore” I said as I rubbed Judith back as I noticed her falling asleep

“They together?” He asked and it made my heart clench

I looked down not wanting to talk about this anymore

“Umm I think I’m gonna go for a little walk, are you okay here?” I asked standing up slowly as to not wake Judith held tight to my chest feeling her little hands unconsciously grip at my shirt

“ ‘m fine, ‘m here if ya need somethin’” he said going back to work

I left walking along the streets enjoying this moment with Jude, what if Carl really moved on, what if he only saw me as a best friend and now that there was actually another girl our age he wanted her, was I not good enough?

I sat on the curb under a tree for shade, I heard the little birds chirping and felt the gentle breeze blow through my hair as Judith curled in closer to me, I took the little blanket from my shoulder and draped it ontop of her

I found peace alone sometimes but my mind spiraled quickly, Carl always kept me grounded and now that he was off doing god knows what I was here thinking about everything

In the middle of my thought Judith woke looking up at me with those big wonderous eyes

“Mama” she babbled and my heart swelled, this beautiful little baby saw me as her mother and it just reminded me that I’d probably never get to have one of my own but for now I would cherish her

Tears sprung from my eyes running down my cheeks before I was interrupted

“Hey sweetie you okay?” I looked up to see Michonne standing over me with a worried look

I wiped my face and nodded

“I’m fine”

She sat next to me wiggling her finger in front of Judith as she tried to grab Michonne finger giggling

“It’s Carl isn’t it?”

Was it really that obvious, but I mean Michonne always noticed everything

“I’m losing him”

“There’s no way you could lose him y/n, we’ve all seen the way he looks at you”

“Use to, not anymore”

“He’s a boy, he’s gonna realize his mistake and that you’re the only one right for him just give it time”

“But I don’t want him to realize I’m the one after he’s given everything to her, he should just know, I know……” I said as I handed Judith to Michonne

“I just wanna be alone right now I’m sorry” I left going to the watch tower that no one really used

I swear everytime I tried to get away Carl jus plagued my thoughts, usually I’d love it thinking of our moments together but now all it brought me was this throbbing pain in my chest

I stayed in the watch tower until the sun was setting watching the few walkers would wander across the road and back into the trees dissapearing from sight

Groups Pov

Michonne, Rick and Daryl were standing around the island in the kitchen catching up on the days work

“Have either of you talked to y/n lately?” Michonne asked worried

“Chatted with her today, seems upset” Daryl said as he picked at his nails

“What’s going on?” Rick asked confused

“Really you haven’t noticed?”

“Noticed what is she okay?” Rick asked

“It’s Carl, been running around with that Enid girl, haven’t you seen he’s been running after her like a puppy and totally forgetting about y/n?” Michonne said upset that Carl would actually tear you like that

“I guess she has been asking to have Judith more and it’s just been them when I see her, never with Carl, damn kid” Rick said pushing his hair back in frustration

“Nothing we can really do we just gotta be there for her, kid might come around” Daryl said hoping for the best outcome

Y/n Pov

I got back to the house later that night after supper and most people in the group were gone to sleep or at least settling in, Carl was in his sleeping bag fast asleep making me miss the days on the road where he’d hold me, just a little over a week ago he was playing with my hair and holding me in that shitty barn before Aaron found us

With how close we got I thought maybe if the community was safe we’d start officially dating but that was quickly ruined

“Hey sweetie you’re back late” Michonne said from the kitchen as she sat talking with Rick now both looking at me

I went and sat with them as I took off my jacket and laid it over the back of the chair

“Oh ya, was just…….sorry”

“Did you have any supper?” Rick asked smiling gently

“No im not really hungry but ummm where’s Judith?” I asked trying to change the subject as I looked around looking for her

“We set her up in the crib up stairs, tomorrow we are gonna start picking rooms between the two houses, my rooms next to Judith’s, so me and Michonne will be staying up there tonight” Rick said

“Hmmmm I see” I didn’t wanna split up just yet it made me anxious

“Who else is staying in this house?”

“Carls got a room up there then Daryl is staying in the basement” Michonne said

“Is there other rooms downstairs?” I asked feeling most safe around Daryl now it might help ease my anxiety with the house splitting

“Ya do you wanna stay down there too?”

“If that’s okay I’d like to” I said biting on my lip nervously

“Of course sweetie” Michonne smiled

“Okay well I’m gonna stay there tonight so good night” I said getting up to head to my new room

I see Daryl across the hall laid on his bed keeping the door open which made sense, not wanting to fully close ourselves off from the group, I looked at my new room plain cream white walls, a double bed with blue sheets, a bed side table with a lamp and a dresser

I checked in the dresser seeing there was some tops and pants, I pulled out a black tank top and a pair of sweats I sighed in comfort, finally being able to wear comfortable clothes, no bra was nice for once as well not having the rickety worn wire digging into my ribs

I opened up the window a bit just to still feel that breeze then pulled back the covers of the bed and sliding in feeling that fresh cool touch of the sheets in my bare arms, it was so comforting in a way reminding me of the old day before everything happened but I also had this nagging feeling that I should be out there, out side of the walls fighting every second it was a weird feeling knowing it was miserable out there, maybe I just missed what I had out there, how I felt with Carl

Walkers were everywhere groaning and reaching trying desperately to rip me apart, I screamed for Carl seeing him across the clearing not being bothered by the walkers

“CARL PLEASE SAVE ME” I screamed desperately feeling hands all over me but he just turned around seeing Enid pull him away

That’s when I felt my skin being ripped apart my nerves torn the pain unbearable

I woke with a scream shooting up in bed huffing feeling my chest rise and fall rapidly as my heart thrummed in my ears

“Y/n hey it’s okay”

I looked to the edge of the bed beside me and it was Carl holding my shoulders with a distressed look on his face

“You left me” I said feeling the tears build against my water line

“What do you mean I’m right here?” He asked as he started rubbing my arm

“No you’re not, you’re not here with me anymore Carl, you left me for Enid I never even get to spend time with you anymore, you never hold me anymore, you never say those sweet things to me, was I just a distraction for you on the road did what we shared mean nothing to you?” My lip now quivering as his eyes widened

“I…..I’m sorry I didn’t realize I hurt you like this, I would never purposely hurt you, you know how I feel about you”

“No I don’t Carl because you’ve never told me” I dawned on him that he never got the chance to tell you since Aaron came and it distracted him

“I love you y/n not Enid, how could I like her when I have the most beautiful, kind hearted, generous, loving girl right in front of me, I was just hanging out with her because she was having problem with her boyfriend, I love you y/n always have but I promise to never make you feel like this again” he said as he grazed my cheek with his fingers

“I love you too Carl, please just talk to me more because I hate feeling shut off from you”

“I will I promise” he smiled as he leaned in placing a gentle kiss to my lips

His confession lifted a huge weight off my chest making things feel a lot more normal again

Taglist: @eiirqgi

Part.3<-

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

you mentioned in the tags of that burnout post that its been 6 years and you still havent gotten to everything you wanted to in laoft, just out of curiosity are there any fics youve had in mind since the beginning/early on that youre still planning on writing but havent yet?

mostly prequels ive referenced but never gotten around to actually writing

the time as young teens/middle schoolers roman fell out of tree, hit his head and lost consciousness and logan had a week-long catastrophic meltdown about it (this is titled 'logan and the terrible horrible no good very bad week' in my documents)

a fic about very early LAMP dealing with/talking out romans habit of agreeing to or initiating things he doesnt actually want to do in order to protect himself from anything he perceives as them being mad at him

midquel during what you choose to put in the ground, were patton and logan discuss roman the day after meeting him and whether or not theyre going to try and be his friend

Virgil misunderstanding a human cultural thing because of movies/tv and assuming its like, Legally Required Of Him to ask permission of LMPs parents to marry them, so he goes to shelley first sweating bullets and shelleys like 'oh sweetheart' and we get a little bonding moment for them

more companions to Wit where i show all of the lamp combos moment of Realization when they fall in love

silly tea leaf reading fic that been languishing 3 sentences long for like 5 years

may and night!roman the first time she teaches him magic

logans flower shop opening

death threat jar.... TWO

gc goes camping

may and roman visiting abby's grave when he's a kid (9-10) and him feeling conflicted about it because he doesnt remember her/worrying he doesnt love her 'enough'

a more bittersweet companion to Requiem with Linda and Remus and their families

i really want to do more guidebook entries but i got a new computer and lost my copy of clipstudio and cant figure out how to get it back XD so i have to wait until i figure that out or buy a new copy

May + virgil hurt/comfort reminiscing about Greta and Trudi.

Dot and Larry romance fic featuring alternating cheerleader and heckler abby

analogical word association games (analogical because logan has a ginormous vocabulay and virgil is hundreds of years old, so the goal winds up being trying to say a word the other doesnt know or doesnt know enough words to play off of)

We've had badass protective LAM but i have one for Patton thats languishing as well

Virgil stumbling up on the Gage's hunting blind, which used to be Greta and Toby's house and is now derelict

fae specific idioms vs wickhills specific idioms

fire poker drama with roman and dot - he finds out about it and is uuuuuh. unhappy, to say the least

roman doing knot/weaving/braiding magic like his mom on his and linda's hair

a day in the life of dr. emile picani the only psychotherapist in a town full of magically traumatized people only he is qualified to treat (AKA So Much Pressure)

Dot and Larry with a very young Logan realizing that they have a child who physically can't lie and that it would therefore be extremely easy for them to violate his boundaries and privacy without even meaning to, and them talking about how to handle that

theres other stuff in the someday file, but these are the once ive had from or almost from the start

[b0nebroth]

♱ You're so Creepy ♱ p.2

Zombie!Matt x Emo!Reader p.1

Z!Matt pic made by @so0thsayer ^^

╰┈➤ No pronouns, Reader mostly referred to as 'You', only 1 use of Y/N, emo is not mentioned in this part btw

Warnings: Description of a zombie, creepiness, lonely reader, not properly proof read

In your small town there was always a myth about monsters that roam the woods at night, monsters that were once alive… once human… but you know this is no myth…

The next few days everything scared you, even though you had convinced yourself that what you saw out your window wasn't real, the memory of looking death in the face still scared you. For days you couldn't sleep properly out of fear that the corpse would climb through your window in the middle of the night. You wouldn’t even go into the woods, always walking straight home after school and staying shut inside for the rest of the evening with the windows and curtains closed.

But because you haven't gone out to the tombstone in a while you've started to feel just as isolated as when you first got here, not talking to anyone, not leaving the house, lost in your own thoughts. The grave of the unknown person helped you, honestly it saved you. You could talk about whatever you wanted and it would listen, you miss it.

Recently you’ve been feeling a little better, less scared of everything around you, so you decided to be brave and go see your friend.

The slow walk through the dense woods was frightening, every rustle or crunch would make you yelp, scared that the monster boy from your nightmares would jump out and eat your brains. Eventually you recognised the trees and surroundings as the ones close to the rock and you started to get excited at the thought of being able to talk to it once more and apologising for neglecting it the past few weeks but quickly, you stop dead in your tracks.

There is a young boy standing in front of the grave, slouched and hunched over like a sluggish dying body, he looks a sickly green colour and his matted, shaggy hair falls over his face. His clothes are like dirty old rags and they hang off his body in a lifeless way. You almost ask if he's ok until you notice the gigantic hole in front of the tombstone and the amount of dirt on the boy’s hands.

Suddenly you came to the frightening realisation that what you saw outside your window that night wasn’t all in your head, it was real. And so are the stories of monsters and beasts in the forest, because you met one.

You let out a shocked gasp and your hand flies over your mouth in an attempt to hide from the corpse of a man in front of you but his head slowly drags over to your direction, his dark and frightening eyes landing on your frozen pose. It is only now that you really get a good look at him, his features are sharp and shrunken but there is something curious and inviting in the way he looks at you. There is a stitch that runs from the middle of his cheek to the middle of his nose and his mouth is open like he is about to say something but the words won't come out.

You slowly lower your hands from your mouth and shuffle forward ever so slightly, testing to see if he would jump at you and rip your face off. Thankfully he didn't, he actually flinched away from you. “Oh- no don’t worry… I wont hurt you.” You mumble in response to his fear. At your words he relaxes his shoulders (not like they weren't already slouched) and you inch closer to him, studying his rotten features; the dark bags under his eyes, somehow his lips and eyelids are both blue and pink making him look both alive and dead. You stop in front of him as he stares at you with his prominent blue eyes, not being able to fully read his emotions.

 “Is- is this your grave?” You ask, glancing down at the hole and then back up at him. His head slowly nods in a way that looks like it's about to fall off and grunts, deep from the back of his throat. The corner of your lips start to quirk up in a smile realising the wish you made that night accidentally became true.

At an agonisingly slow pace you and the decrepit boy walk back to your house in silence, too scared and in shock to say anything while you drag him along by the forearm, helping him not trip over on branches or rocks along the path. When you arrive outside your house you’re extremely cautious as to not let anyone see him while you open your bedroom window and help him get in before he lands on the ground with a loud thud, thank the lord your parents aren’t home.

You climb in the window after him and help him up off the ground by his arm, being careful with it as you're scared you're gonna rip it off or something. As he stands in front of you with his slouched posture, staring at you intensely, you feel like you should be waking up from a dream any moment now and your eyes will open to the bright, warm sunlight coming through your bedroom window, shining directly on your bed in a soft, comforting way. But you never wake up. There really, truly, is a zombie in your room, staring at you like he either wants to rip off your face or kiss you.

While you are stuck in your thoughts the corpse's hand slowly lifts up and he raises a finger that falls to the top of your chest, tapping a little before he gets out a low grunt. You furrow your eyebrows in confusion as you stare at him, trying to figure out what he is doing or asking. In an almost frustrated tone he grunts again, this time louder and he nods his head towards you. “M-Me?” He slightly nods a little and taps your chest, trying to convey something without words like a game of charades.

 “Mmmame” The boy spurts out in an unintelligible way. “Mm- my- my name?” You say pointing to yourself slightly and he nods, seeming happy you finally understood what he wanted. “I’m Y/N… uhm- what’s your name?” You hesitantly ask, not sure if he remembers or could even say it if he did. Slowly he brings the finger on your chest up to his and his mouth hangs open slightly while he groans. “Mmmatt…” He mumbles in a way that seems like it took a lot of effort as he sighs after and his hand falls back down to his side. “Matt? Your name is Matt?” You question and he once again nods in response with a croaky groan falling from his limp lips. You slightly smile at him and feel heat slowly rise on your cheeks as your head tilts curiously while you look at him, you like the name, you think it suits him in a weird sort of way. 

Divider by @sister-lucifer ^^

A/N: this one is a little longer but i hope u enjoy also sorry for the lack of romance so far jajaja😭

[unofficial-writing]

Brown Eyes

Pairing: Din Djarin x GN!Reader

Warnings: Some angst, fluff, soft Din, that should be it

Summary: After being separated for almost two years, you were finally reunited with Din.

Word count: 1k

Translations: Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum - “I love you”

«̶ ̶̶̶ ̶ «̶ ̶̶̶ 　　　　 ̶ ̶ ̶»̶  ̶̶̶ ̶ »̶

One year, nine months, two weeks, and five days since you last saw Din. You had no idea if he was even alive, but you clung to the last words he said to you like your life depended on it. “No matter how long it takes, I’ll see you again.”

Ever since you two were separated a hole occupied space in your heart. Despite the effort to ease the ache, nothing worked. So over time you slowly began to fall further into your own mind.

You had built a small home on a remote planet beyond the outer rim. Remote was an understatement. Other than the animals that inhabited the surrounding trees, you were convinced nobody else lived here. Nobody that would be able to speak at least.

The land was mostly forests. A shallow but fast moving river ran through the trees, coming down from the mountain that sat a few miles from where you stayed.

Over the past year and a half, you built yourself a house and a system that kept you alive. At first it was merely for survival— just to get yourself by one day at a time— but now, physically at least, you began to thrive.

The lifestyle wasn’t bad at all. Most days you roamed the surrounding area, finding anything you could do to keep you busy. But time crawled painfully slowly.

The longer you spent here, the lonelier you got. You’ve already spent a year and a half without seeing another person. And to think of it, you couldn’t remember the last time you heard your own voice.

Now you walked through the trees, mapping your route without much effort. Mindlessly, your feet followed their normal track and allowed your thoughts to slip away from you. Your alert state faded over time since you no longer needed to look over your shoulder every few minutes.

Your bliss was ripped away from you with the sound of a ship flying quickly overhead. An N-1 Starfighter flew over the trees, headed in the same direction as you— which was also the same direction as your house. You cursed to yourself, thinking back to the fire you left running.

The smoke would be easily visible from the ship’s cockpit and the last thing you wanted was an unwelcome visitor. As far as your knowledge— which you couldn’t be sure wasn’t outdated— the starfighter was used on Naboo years ago so you couldn’t imagine who was flying it now.

Your feet were moving before you thought about it and your fingers fumbled for the blaster you kept concealed in your thigh holster. At least you had that. Your preferred weapons were left behind that morning. Approaching your house from behind the trees, you spotted the ship in the only clearing for miles, at least on this side of the river.

Worry trickled into your system, pooling in your stomach while you came up with a plan. As silently as possible, you moved to just under your window to see if you could get a glimpse of the pilot. You saw nothing so you stood cautiously, moving to the door to enter the little structure.

The pool in your stomach filled quickly as time passed without establishing who or where the pilot of the starfighter was. With your blaster in hand, you turned to go through your door, pointing your weapon in front of you.

The breath was stolen from your lungs as your blaster came face-to-face with the familiar beskar armor. “D-Din?” You whispered, your voice trying to get used to being heard again. His helmet came off slowly, revealing himself to you.

The face you had seen seen only a few times but knew more intimately than any other was now directly in front of you. The only thing that broke your trance was the makings of tears in his eyes.

Once your mind had caught up, your arms were around him. He caught you and wrapped his arms tightly around your torso, burying his face into your neck.

You were in tears, overwhelmed by your emotions. It had been so long since you had felt anything more than your usual stoic disposition and empty mind. And now your heart ached in the opposite way.

“I’m so sorry.” Din said, sounding like he was choked up. He lifted his head so he could look into your eyes, without moving his hands away from your waist. You lifted your hands to cup his face. It almost felt like he wasn’t really there, but he was.

His brown eyes gazed at you with guilt, longing, and adoration. Which mixed together to make the expression he presented to you. You examined his face for a moment before pulling him down to you. Your lips met for the first time in almost two years but it felt like no time had passed at all.

Din melted into your kiss instantly, pulling you closer while you sighed into his lips. After a long minute, he lifted his lips from yours and pressed slow kisses onto your cheeks where tears stained your skin.

Your eyes stayed closed while he kissed your face, finishing with your lips again. “Please don’t leave.” You whispered against his lips. Din’s hand went up to your cheek and your eyes met for the second time.

“I’ll never l leave you again, y/n.” He stated quietly. His voice sounded smooth and velvety in your ears. As he spoke, his breath tickled your cheeks. “Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum”

You didn’t understand all of Mando’a but Din had taught you that phrase when he had first said it to you. It caused your heart to flutter— a much preferred feeling to the previous emptiness.

For the first time in almost two years, you smiled. Din pressed a kiss onto your nose and rested his chin on the top of your head, silently promising he would never leave you alone like this again.

After all that time, all you wanted was to stay there in Din’s arms. Neither of you wanted to let go.

─────────────────────────Find more like this here

[tashacee]

Hey, I'm new here and wanted to say I love your Hero's Aspect series :) anyways I wanted to ask what kind of shenanigans Wild would get into trying to make sure everyone both eats what they need and enjoys the experience? I mostly picture him making tea for Time bc trees can still drink, and furiously pantomiming with the more bestial heroes

Thank you so much friend!

OMG this is SO wholesome. I love this. Let's see:

Warriors, Wind, Sky:

Normal hylian food. Wild also falls in this category, though at first they're worried he will eat... non-hylian food. But naw. Every dinner is exquisite haute cuisine with Wild at the helm!

Spirit

Is a ghost and doesn't eat. He's pretty bitter about this cause Wild's food looks AMAZE.

Twi

I mean YEAH he'll eat raw meat but he LOVES all sorts of food. Wild makes him a gorge dish every time, even if it's just a quick meal, and he really appreciates it. He loves the pumpkin and meat stew.

Legend

Similar to Twi, Wild makes him nice bunny dinners. He also includes some meat in there too cause he has SEEN Legend in battle.

Four

The minish is more able to communicate, so Wild lets him flick through the slate and point to the foods he likes. Which is all of them. So Wild makes him tiny ickle miniature versions of whatever he makes the others. They're like doll-house meals and are ADORABLE.

Hyrule

He does something similar to what he makes Four, but augmented with more desserts than savoury courses cause. Yanno. Fairy. Hyrule is DELIGHTED.

Time

You are CORRECT, he absolutely makes tea for Time. It's a bit weird in that he pours them over his roots and drinks them that way, but he actually can taste it kinda and he loves the different smells. He is totally touched by Wild thinking of him and TREASURES him.

Thank you!

[maximoffcarter]

The story of us.

Pairings: Casey Novak x Alex Cabot.

Summary: Alexandra Cabot was a nine year old that loved books, privacy and nature; the best way she could spend her time alone, was at the park reading a book. Casey Novak was a seven year old that enjoyed softball, playing around and nature; the best way she could spend her time, was at the park playing softball. Once they crossed paths, it was the beginning of their story, a kids love.

A/n: This was requested by bestie @saurgaeee, everything started with a silly cute conversation about Alex and Casey being kids and meeting, and then the rest just came up as we talked about it and we thought it would be cute to write a fic about it, so this is specially dedicated to my bestie that keeps giving me ideas and keeps me writing hehe. I hope you like this, at first I doubted so much about posting this, but I thought it turned out cute. Keep the requests coming you guys! Enjoy and leave your comments, reblogs, hearts, whatever you'd like, will be very much appreciated🫶🏻

*not my gif*

Age 7/Age 9.

It was summer vacation, just a week away from starting school again, and Alexandra Cabot was in her 12th book, just about to finish it. Yes, it was probably unusual for a nine year old to want to read that much and spend her whole summer reading books that not even a fifteen year old would want to read, but that was Alex’s favorite hobby. She could get lost in fantasy land, or learn something new, there was no in between, though she had to admit that her favorite ones were those cheesy fantasy books where the girl always ended up with the handsome guy; though she sometimes questioned herself why it always had to be the girl falling and had to be with a guy, not exactly a question that a nine year has in mind, but it was in Alex’s.

People could say that Alex was the loner of the school, not because of how Alex acted, but mostly because Alex didn’t feel comfortable acting like other kids did, they were messy, they were too childish for her liking, and they wanted nothing more than to play. Of course, she enjoyed playing with her dolls, she enjoyed playing tea party, she enjoyed basic kid things, but being an only child and in a house full of diplomatic people, it was hard to want to be childish.

After returning from her house in the Hamptons, she had asked for a full day of reading in the  outside world; meaning the park. She had felt like she had spent too much time surrounded by her parents, so she decided to have a small break and be able to enjoy the park and the fresh air of the summer. Not that she wasn’t excited about school, but she enjoyed quiet summer days where she could enjoy the fresh air and the sun hitting her skin while she read a book. She tried to always be in the farthest tree of the park, knowing that people wouldn’t be around, and she’d be able to peacefully read her book, just enjoy some alone time. But it seemed too good to be truth. Alex had been lost in the words of her book that she hadn’t noticed a redhead just a few feet away from her, that wasn’t until she felt something hitting her arm that made her lose her balance and fall to the side, making her whine at the impact.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry!”

Alex whined as she sat back and leaned over the tree, looking at her left side and noticing a bruise already showing up. “It’s fine.” She whispered softly.

“No, it’s not! I should be careful, dang it. Are you okay?” The redhead knelt beside Alex and placed her bat on the grass.

Alex looked up and frowned slightly, looking at the redhead girl in front of her, her heart skipping a beat. The first thing she noticed was the beautiful red hair, long and messy, a cap a bit too big but the girl didn’t seem to care. Then she noticed the green eyes, people could confuse them and think they were blue or a bit darker, but those were definitely green. And then she noticed the worry on the girls face, she noticed the girls hand trying to figure out if she should touch Alex or not.

Alex shook her head and chuckled. “Guess you’re good at baseball.” As she rubbed her arm.

“Softball, actually.” The redhead chuckled as she sat down with Alex. “I really am sorry. My mom told me to be careful and I swore I will.”

“Would.”

The redhead frowned. “What?”

“Would. That you would be careful.” Alex smiled. “Orthography.”

“Oh! Yes. Sorry. Mom says I’m still learning how to talk.” The redhead chuckled as she looked at Alex.

Alex smiled softly as she noticed her dimples, she had never seen someone with dimples, and it was cute. “I’m a bit more advanced than I should anyway. I’m only nine, but I have been told that I seem older.”

The redhead shrugged. “Looks like it. You sound like you’re a big girl.” She smiled. “But you seem nice. I’m 7, and I’m Casey.” She extended her hand for Alex to take.

Alex looked down at her hand and noticed some dirt on in and also some cuts, probably from the bat. She sighed and took her hand, preferring to be polite. “I’m Alexandra, but you can call me Alex.”

Casey nodded. “Nice to meet you, Alex.” She smiled as she let go of her hand. “Why you reading when you could be playin?”

“I don’t know. I enjoy it. I like reading.”

“My mom wished I read more. But I prefer to play.”

Alex shrugged. “Not weird for your age.”

“A bit weird for yours.” Casey chuckled. “I’m sorry about the bruise.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. It’ll go away.” Alex smiled.

“Here.” Casey looked into her pocket and got a lollipop out, handing it to Alex. “I get these whenever I go to the doctor, maybe it’s gonna make you feel better.” She smiled.

Alex looked at it and took it, smiling softly and looking back at Casey. “Thank you, Casey.”

Casey nodded as she smiled. “You welcome. Can I sit with you?”

********************

“C’mon, Alex! We just need more kids to play.”

Alex rolled her eyes again as she looked at the kids. “I said I didn’t want to play.”

“You never want to!”

“Then you already know the answer, why are you still asking?”

The boy sighed. “Why you never want to play with us?”

“I just don’t like to play tag. And you’re noisy.”

“Oh, but you get alone with Casey.” One of the girls said as she shrugged, looking at Alex.

Alex stared at her. “I actually like her, she’s nice.” She looked back at her book as she sighed. “Besides, you won’t let me finish my book, and I’m so close to-“

“Lex! We’re gonna play tag! Do you wanna play with us?” Casey appeared all of a sudden and smiled as she stood in front of Alex.

Alex stared at her for a moment, her eyes then looking at the rest of the kids who were waiting for an answer. She sighed softly as she looked back at Casey. “I guess a game won’t hurt.”

Casey jumped and looked at the kids. “Let’s start then! Tag!” She touched one of the girls and started running away.

Alex placed her book on the table and then looked back at the kids. “You better not hurt Casey.”

The kids looked at each other before they started to run. Ever since Alex met Casey, they had become pretty close, something that was a bit odd for Alex since she really didn’t have any friends, but after meeting Casey, she felt attached to her in a way she had never felt about anyone. She came to find that Casey was an extrovert while Alex was definitely an introvert, but she knew that opposites were attracted to each other, so it made sense that Casey and Alex fell into a quick friendship even if they were the whole opposite from each other. They had met at the park the whole week and then came to find out that they were in the same school, just different grades, but still had the chance to see each other at lunch -when Casey was not running around with the rest of the kids-.

She definitely didn’t like tag, not like she didn’t run or anything, because she liked to run, she liked to exercise but she didn’t really like to play any sports, but if Casey wanted to play, who was she to say no? She mostly moved to the same places, not having to run much since whenever she was touched, she quickly found a kid to tag next and that’s how it went on for a while, until Casey noticed that no one was tagging her, frowning slightly as she stood beside Alex.

“Do I have the plague or something?”

Alex turned to look at her. “What do you mean?”

“No one has tagged me. I know I can be fast but like…I’m right here?” Casey raised her brow as she looked at Alex.

Alex sighed as she looked at the kids who were fast to give them both attention as they felt Alex staring. “You’re seriously not gonna tag us?”

One of the kids looked at the rest and then back at Alex. “But- you said…”

“Follow the rules, kids! It’s tag!”

Casey laughed as she looked at Alex and then at the rest of the kids. “You guys are lame. C’mon, Ali, let’s go get some fruit before the bell rings.”

Alex looked at them and shook her head. “You wanted to play and don’t even know the rules? Like she said, you’re lame.” She went for her book and then followed Casey.

*********************

Age 8/Age 10.

Alex was leaning back on a tree with a book on her hands while Casey was practicing, another sunny and hot day of summer. Alex looked up from her book and smiled softly as she saw Casey putting the ball back in the stick she had made to hold her ball; Alex had made fun of her cause Casey had told her that she broke her last set and she was saving to buy one, so she had to get creative and grab some sticks and build something steady to be able to hold her ball as she practiced. After a little over a year of getting to know each other, they had made it a routine to meet at the park and just spend time with each other, while Alex read, and Casey practiced.

It was still fascinating to Alex how she had come to have such a good and nice friendship with someone like Casey, the age didn’t matter much, but the fact that Casey actually wanted to hang out with her, perfectly knowing the kind of kid that Alex was. She thought Casey would want to find kids like her that would want to practice with her, play in the dirt, do any other activity than reading, but Casey seemed to enjoy Alex’s company, even if she was just sitting there reading and watching her practice. Casey yelled as she finally accomplished her goal, jumping and celebrating.

“You go, Ali Cat!” Alex chuckled as she clapped.

Casey frowned, tilting her head as she walked to Alex. “Ali Cat?” She chuckled. “That’s silly, I’m not a cat, Al.”

Alex chuckled. “Well, you are like a cat, Casey. Very fierce.”

Casey rolled her eyes as she sat down beside Alex. “I don’t have any whiskers or paws, y’know?” She smiled.

Alex shrugged. “Still think you’re a cat.”

“Okay…if I’m gonna be an animal, then you’ll be one too.” Casey grinned.

Alex frowned as she grinned. “Oh, yeah? What kind of animal am I?”

Casey chuckled softly. “A bear!”

“A bear?! Do I look like a bear to you?” Alex growled like a bear then, making Casey hysterically laugh, Alex joining right after, a faint blush on her cheeks.

“You’ll be Ali Bear.” Casey laughed as she looked at Alex.

“Still funny?”

Casey shook her head. “The fact that we’re both Ali’s is kinda funny. You’re the only one that I’ll ever call me Ali or Ali Cat.”

Alex nodded. “And you’ll be the only one allowed to call me Ali Bear.”

“Sounds like a deal.” Casey bit her lip as she smiled, leaning on the tree, sitting close to Alex.

********************

Age 11/Age 13.

“Case, I’m sure you’ll make it in the team. You’ve literally been playing since I know you, and it’s been quiet some years.” Alex chuckled as they got to their spot and sat down.

Casey sighed as she placed her bag down and then sat down beside Alex. “I know, just…”I guess I’m nervous.”

Alex chuckled. “You’re overthinking it.” She smiled. “You did great, Ali Cat.” She grinned.

Casey tilted her head as she smiled. “It’s cause you were there, Ali Bear.” She chuckled.

Alex smiled softly as she looked down at her book. “You know I’ll always be your #1 fan.” She looked back at Casey with a faint blush on her cheeks.

Casey nodded as she bit her lip. “I’ll hold you to that.” She smiled. “Oh! By the way.” She opened her bag and looked inside it, getting a book out and then handing it to Alex. “I noticed the other day that you were looking at this book at the store and I remember my mom bought it for me a few weeks ago but…it’s not really my thing. So I wanted you to have it.”

Alex stared at it for a moment before grabbing it. She smiled softly and looked up at Casey, who was staring at her with that adorable smile she so loved. “Case…this is so sweet of you.”

“I just thought you’d enjoy it more than I would. It’s your thing after all.” Casey smiled softly. “And I’ll be waiting to listen to the end of it. I’d love to hear it from you other than reading it.”

Alex nodded softly as she smiled. “I’ll definitely tell you about it.” She chuckled. “Thanks, Casey.”

“You’re very welcome.” Casey smiled before she started to talk about something else.

That was the moment when Alex started to look back to all these years since she had met Casey and before that. She had always considered herself to be the loner kid who really didn’t fit in any group or fit with any other kid, but it turned out that fate had chose to put Casey in her life in the most unexpected way, and it had been her decision to help grow the friendship that they now had. She couldn’t imagine having another friend, she thought that there couldn’t be anyone better than Casey. And that’s when it hit her; it wasn’t only a friends love she felt for Casey, it was more. It was what she had read in all those fantasy books, the love they described as unique and wonderful, something unexpected and beautiful, a love that not anyone could feel. She thought it was just a fantasy, something to catch the readers attention, but now she was coming to te conclusion that she was starting to experience it. It was silly, because she was only thirteen years old and anyone would tell her that it was just a kids love, and maybe it was, but it was everything for her.

It was now crystal clear why she acted the way she did, always blushing around Casey, always trying to look over her -even if Casey was basically her same height, maybe a little taller, and she was braver than Alex was-, always the need to see Casey smile or hear her laugh, being able to spend every day with her even if it was just for a moment. Alex had a cush. She had a crush on her best friend. She had a crush on Casey Allison Novak. Was that even right? She didn’t know. Her parents had never said anything about it, and they knew Casey. The question she had in her mind years ago had made its appearance again. Why in the books they always had the girl falling for the handsome boy and not for the best friend or someone else? She knew people weren’t too open about it, she had heard a bit, but it had never crossed her mind that she could be that person, but now everything made sense.

After the new discovery, Alex tried to hide it as best as she could, she had tried to act as she always did and just keep the friendship going. She went to every practice Casey had after getting in the team, she waited for her while she read the book that Casey had given her, every now and then looking up at Casey, and at time catching Casey staring back at her. She went to every single game that Casey had, never missing one, and it had become their tradition to go for milkshakes after them. But just like every perfect story in the books, there had to be some angst to it. Casey had showed up at her house one time and told Alex the terrible news that she would be moving, and she was not sure she was coming back. It clearly broke Alex’s heart, but she made it seem like things would be okay and that they’d see each other again at some point, maybe call each other every now and then, and they’d find each other soon. It worked for the first year, until it didn’t anymore.

********************

Age 27/Age 29.

It was insane that sixteen years had passed since she had last seen Casey, it haunted Alex every single day how she was stolen from her life, and she never had a chance to see her again. Last she had heard was that Casey still played softball, and that she’d be going to college somewhere in New York, but she was not sure yet what she wanted to do, after that, in her last year of high school, they just lost contact and never spoke again. The calls had worked for a while, Alex had even been willing to visit Casey, but school and extra classes wouldn’t let her, just like Casey being involved in softball barely gave her any time to socialize or do anything else in her life. Alex thought maybe that’s why they lost contact, their lives had become so busy, it wasn’t like they were kids anymore, they had responsibilities and sometimes life worked that way, people come and go just like that, and sometimes there is nothing else they could do about it. As unfair as it sounded, Alex was a realistic person, and she knew better than to pretend that she could’ve avoided what happened between them. And even if she never saw Casey again, that crush had never vanished, she thought every single day about Casey that it was painful. But they were just kids, how could she go to Casey and tell her that she had a crush on her when Casey was focused on softball and she was 2 years younger than Alex, it felt so wrong, but she couldn’t have helped it.

She tried to move on the best she could, she tried to focus on her career, she tried to focus on her future, because the more she looked into the past and what could’ve been if things were different, the more she felt sad and it drained her at some point, it haunted her dreams, it haunted her mind whenever she got nothing better to do and that’s why she preferred to drown in work over letting her mind go to thoughts that would not help her. Even with that heartbreak, she was thankful that she got to have Casey in her life, even if it felt like it had been for a short time, she was thankful and proud to say that after thinking her childhood was nothing more than books, Casey made it bright and fun, and she’d always be thankful for that.

Now, working at SVU, between the paperwork, motions, arraignments, and trials, she had more than enough to keep herself busy. She had also become close with the squad, spending part of her time in her office, in court or in the squad room, helping Alex to fill that hole in her life. She had been working on a rape with the squad and they had gone through all evidence and possible suspects that they had, but it seemed like nothing would be able to bring these little girls the justice they deserved, and that broke their hearts. Growing up, Alex tried to be this ‘cold’ persona to try and keep her emotions in, even if sometimes she failed, she knew better than to break this persona in front of people. She had chosen this career to bring justice and to help those who felt helpless, so if she had to be a serious and determined person in everyone’s eyes, she was in for it.

“The thought of them losing their childhood for this asshole, and we can’t connect him to anything.” Elliot shook his head as he sighed.

“There’s still hope that they can at least work through it and enjoy their childhood but…it’s a work in progress.” Huang shrugged. “What they went through…it’s not something they’ll easily forget.”

“Every kid deserves to have a happy and nice childhood. It’s a shame.” Munch looked back at them as he sat in his chair.

“You had a nice one, Munch?” Fin grinned as he looked at his partner.

“I did. Can recall every bad thing I did.” Munch grinned.

“Can only imagine that.” Olivia laughed and then looked at Alex. “How about you, counselor? Was your childhood okay?”

“I can only imagine Cabot being a serious kid, hiding from everyone with a pile of books by her side. I’d like for you to tell me I’m wrong.” Elliot raised his brow as he looked back at Alex.

Alex offered a faint smile as she looked at them. “It was a bundle of light and joy.” She grabbed her briefcase and then made her way out, leaving everyone with a confused look on their faces, everyone staring at each other.

********************

Alex felt like she was back to being nine years old when the squad asked her to go with them to a softball game and support Elliot. It had been years since she had stepped a food on a softball field, she had no reason to go to and it brough back many memories that she really didn’t want to be reminded of it would hurt too much. But, she had promised that she’d try to go out with the squad more often and that she’d do better to socialize and be a more open person, so she pushed herself out of her bed, dressed up in comfortable clothes and went ahead to meet the squad. She knew she’d get bored at some point, so she took a book with her just in case; she carried one  special book either in her briefcase or in her purse everywhere she went, that book that she hasn’t finished in years, and she couldn’t bring herself to do so. She didn’t have that person to tell the end of the book after all.

She sat on the stands beside Olivia, smiling slightly as she noticed everyone being so excited to support Elliot, they even had shirts with his name on them, which Alex had refused to use. Once the game started, she once again prepared herself mentally to spend the next hour or so to see nothing but sweaty people batting and running around. She didn’t tell them that she understood the game a bit, spending a lot of time with Casey had helped her to understand the game enough to know when she was either winning or losing, that with Casey in the team, they always won. For a moment, she had decided to grab the other book she had brought to keep herself a distracted and then be able to go back to the game, but in that same moment, her eyes suddenly fell on a redhead, a woman. She frowned and stared with intent at the woman, there were about 3 or 4 women in each team, but that was not any woman, she recognized her, she knew her eyes weren’t lying to her; that was Casey Novak.

Her heart sank for a moment as she had a hard moment to catch her breath. It was impossible. It couldn’t be her. But she would recognize those eyes, that hair, those cute and adorable dimples of her anywhere she went, even if she hasn’t seen Casey in years, she could never be wrong about recognizing someone, and more now that it was Casey. Her Casey. Suddenly the game became interesting as she saw that Casey was going to bat next, smiling a bit as it brought her back to those years when she’d be first on the stands, and she’d be cheering for Casey. Casey had joked so many times calling Alex her cheerleader, and even if Alex had hated it so much, she couldn’t help but agree, she’d always be her number #1 fan. She completely forgot that she was with the squad and people she knew were around her, her eyes never looking away from Casey. Next thing she knew, Casey had made a homerun, and she was running, making Alex stand from her place and clap louder than anyone around her.

“Go, Ali Cat!” Alex screamed before her mind proceeded with her words, not noticing at first but then figured out what she had said. Her heart stopped as she looked back at the squad who were now staring at her.

Alex tried to say something, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to make up words to justify what had just left her mouth, but nothing came out, and now she was not only speechless, but her face felt as warm as the sun, and there was no way she could escape from this. So, the only thing she could do was say that she had to run away, not giving them time to say anything to her or joke or laugh at what she had said, soon enough, she vanished from the place.

Casey was running for her life as she heard screams and clapping, but as she got to the last base, she almost tripped as she heard the unfamiliar yet so familiar name that she had not heard in years. She stopped in her tracks as she looked at the stands and tried to find whoever had screamed that name, almost thinking that she was delusional and that maybe she was dehydrated or something. But just as her team ran to her to celebrate the win, her eyes landed on a blonde that seemed to be leaving in a hurry, not giving Casey any chance to take a good look at her to see who she was. She smiled at her team and tried to focus on what was happening, but she was stuck in thought. It couldn’t be, could it? It’s been sixteen years. She was probably just tired.

********************

“You’re kidding me.” Alex whispered softly as the elevator doors opened and just a few feet away from her, there she was; Casey.

It had been around 2 weeks since the softball game accident, the squad knew better than to mention what had happened back there, but now their curiosity to know more about Alex had grown and they were paying more attention to Alex than before. They knew that Alex was a private person, and she didn’t talk much about her private life, just like any of them, but after what they had seen that day, that bright smile on Alex and the excitement which had taken over her entirely, something…no…someone had brought Alex to act that way, and they wanted to know who.

And now, Alex had the reason why right in front of her, just a few feet away. She would be lying if she said that she didn’t see Casey in the law field, Casey was great with arguing and didn’t settle for just any agreement, and Alex knew because they had been stuck in many ‘arguments’ and took their time to settle for a decision that benefited the both of them. Alex always thought it was cute because she always thought that because she was older, Casey would listen to her, but she was wrong, and she’d literally do anything for her. So, seeing her here, in the same building as she was, dressed in a pretty black suit with high heels and her beautiful red hair, it was both surprising but not weird at all. It now made sense why she had been playing with the attorneys in the softball game.

Would she recognize her? She didn’t think she would. It’s been so long, they completely lost contact and maybe Casey had forgotten about her, maybe she didn’t even remember who she was. So she couldn’t just come up to her and say hi, not after what had happened in the game, she didn’t think she had heard her or maybe she did, but even then, she wouldn’t recognize her. She stopped the doors of the elevator as they started to close, not even noticing that she had stood there just staring at Casey, hopefully no one noticed. She cleared her throat and looked down at the floor as she walked to her office, trying not to get noticed.

Later in her office, she had tried to focus on her paperwork, but her mind couldn’t stop thinking about Casey and her being in the same building as she was. Was she supposed to just pretend that nothing happened and that she was not there? That she didn’t know her? I mean, she could try, definitely, but she knew she would fail. Her anxiety just wouldn’t forget it. But go to her and say hi? She couldn’t do that. She didn’t want to be a creep, she didn’t want to make a fool out of herself. She had already done that once and she regretted it so much. She looked at her briefcase and sighed softly as she opened it and got the book that Casey had given her years ago. She smiled as she looked down at it, her fingers tracing the wrinkles that the cover now had. Even though she had taken good care of it, she took it everywhere with her, unfinished, and being in her briefcase or her bag, caused the book to have its imperfections now, but still meant everything to Alex. She didn’t notice that her boss was standing on her doorframe, just staring at her, and wondering what was going on in Alex’s mind.

“Alex?” Elizabeth asked as she raised her brow.

Alex looked up at Elizabeth and offered a shy smile. “Hi. Is everything okay?”

Elizabeth nodded and walked inside the office. “Yes. Just came to say hi.”

Alex raised her brow as she grinned. “You never just come to say hi. What did I do?”

“Why do you think you did something? Did you?” Elizabeth smirked.

“I don’t think so, not yet.” Alex placed the book in front of her and smiled as she leaned back in her chair.

“Those detectives are definitely changing your mind, they’ll drag you down with them.” Elizabeth smiled.

Alex chuckled as she shook her head. “They’re not. And if anything, I’m willing to. They have a good heart.”

Elizabeth nodded. “I know you’ve been loads of work, not only from SVU cases, so…Branch and I decided to bring a new recruit to help you out.”

Alex frowned as she looked at Elizabeth. “I don’t…I don’t need any help, Liz. I got this.”

“I know. Trust me. But I don’t want you to be drowning here, Alex. You also need a life outside of the office and the courtroom. Don’t worry. She’s good. I know her and I gotta admit that she’s almost on your level. Branch and I believe that she can definitely work with you and the squad.”

“You bet your money on her?” Alex grinned.

“I could.” Elizabeth smirked. “I’ll send her your way later. She’s with Branch right now.” Elizabeth walked to the door but was stopped by Alex.

“What’s her name?”

Elizabeth looked back at Alex. “Casey Novak.” She then looked at Alex’s desk and smiled. “I read that book years ago. So cliché but cute.”

Alex looked down at the book and smiled. “I uh…haven’t finished it.” She looked back at Elizabeth.

“You should.” Elizabeth smiled before she left the office.

Alex felt like her mind had started spinning around at the name, deep inside she knew it could be Casey, but part of wished that she would name someone else, that it wouldn’t be her. What was she supposed to do now? Was she going to pretend that she didn’t know her? Was she going to tell Casey who she was? Would she even remember her? The question spiraled on her mind once again, playing various scenarios in her mind as she tried to focus back on her paperwork, putting back the book inside her briefcase. This would definitely be torture; the what ifs, the scenarios playing in her mind, the millions of ways that this could play out. Anything could happen, but she couldn’t possibly deal with that ‘anything’.

Before she knew it, an hour or so had passed, she had gotten a call from Liv, telling her that some redhead had showed up at their scene and asked Alex why she couldn’t take the case. Alex didn’t know how Casey was as an attorney, but the fact she went to the scene with them made a lot of sense. Alex just explained to Olivia that if they needed anything, she’d be there for them, but to trust Casey in what she was doing, and things would be okay. After that, her anxiety was back taking over her body as she tried to focus back on work, but once again, it was interrupted by a knock on the door, and that is when, once again, Alex’s heart stopped just like the very first time she laid eyes on Casey.

“Hi. Liz told me to stop by your office.” Casey smiled softly. “Can I come in?”

Alex nodded as she cleared her throat. “Y-Yeah! Come on in.” She offered a small smile as Casey walked in and sat down. What was supposed to happen now?

“I heard you’re the ADA of SVU. Sorry that you gotta work with me now.” Casey chuckled softly.

Alex shook her head as she huffed a chuckle. “According to Liz, she doesn’t want me to drown in work and you’re here to save me from it.” She smiled as she looked at Casey. “Heard you already made yourself present with the detectives.”

Casey scoffed as she nodded. “I don’t think they like me much.”

Alex shook her head. “Don’t worry about it, Case. They just need to get used to you. I know they had to get used to me.”

Casey frowned at the mention of her name, even if some people had called her Case before, it felt different coming from the blonde in front of her. And then it hit her. This was the blonde that she saw in the game. She was not delusional, this had been the girl that yelled that nickname that she has not heard for the last sixteen years. And everything made sense now. She looked so mature, even more than she did when they were young, and now she was wearing glasses, which fit her so perfectly and made her features stand out. Her hair was shorter, it was as beautiful as she remembered but now it braced her face just perfectly. And those eyes…how could she forget those blue eyes; she always thought that those stood out over anything else, and she loved looking into them. This was Alex Cabot. Her Alex Cabot.

“Ali Bear.” Casey whispered softly as she stared at Alex.

Alex’s heart stopped at the nickname, staring back into green eyes. “You…you remember me?”

Casey’s smile widened as she huffed a laugh. “How could I forget you? We…you were my best friend in my childhood.”

Alex’s heart warmed at her words, her smile widening too. “And you were mine.” She chuckled softly as she shook her head. “I uh…I was afraid maybe you…you wouldn’t recognize me.”

Casey tilted her head as she smiled. “You’re the only one I’d ever let call me Ali, remember?” She shrugged. “It’s been that way ever since.”

“So, no one knows your middle name is Allison, huh?” Alex grinned.

“Nope, and I hope no one knows.” Casey laughed softly as she looked down at her hands for a moment, and then her eyes went back to stare at Alex. “I always wondered what you were up to.” She smiled.

Alex smiled softly and nodded. “I wondered too.”

Casey smiled. “How about we go for a drink to update each other?” She bit her lip softly as she tilted her head.

Alex felt butterflied on her stomach as she looked at Casey, always been fascinated by the way she bit her lip. “Sounds good.”

********************

Alex was talking to Olivia and Elliot about a case that had been assigned to her, trying to go over what they could and not do to not screw the case. As always, Elliot tried to get under her nerves trying to get her to do as they pleased and basically telling her to ignore the law and her bosses, sighing loudly as she looked away. Elliot kept going on and off about how Alex didn’t think about the victims and more shit, and in that moment Alex stopped listening to him as she noticed Casey walking out of Cragen’s office, making her focus on her and literally ignore Elliot. She smiled softly as Casey’s eyes landed on her and she smiled back at her, trying to get her attention back to Cragen.

“Alex!”

Alex turned to look at Elliot as she sighed. “I told you already, and I won’t repeat myself. Either you get me a good reason, or I won’t be doing anything. I’m not about to do your job, Elliot. And you know that.” Elliot sighed as he shook his head and walked away from them, leaving Olivia and Alex alone. Alex turned to look at Olivia and raised her brow. “Anything you’d like to say, detective?”

Olivia shook her head as she grinned. “You got lost there for a moment.”

Alex frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, c’mon. You’re really gonna tell me that you were not just staring at Novak.”

Alex turned back to look at Casey and then back at Olivia, shrugging. “Not sure what you mean. I just didn’t know she was here.”

“Oh, so the smile she gave you was…nothing.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Your point?”

Olivia grinned as she tilted her head. “She was the bundle of light and joy, wasn’t it?”

Alex stared at Olivia for a moment, and against her will, a smile appeared on her face, rolling her eyes as she looked away. “I-“

“You know better than to lie.” Olivia raised her brow.

Alex looked back at her and smiled. “Yes. It was Casey.”

“And you hadn’t seen each other all these years?”

Alex shook her head. “Sixteen years. She moved away, we tried to stay in contact but…it only worked for a bit.”

“And you had a crush on her.” Olivia smirked.

Alex rolled her eyes again as she grinned. “What is this, 20 questions?”

“I’m curious.” Olivia smiled.

“You better not tell the rest of the squad.” Alex raised her brow.

“Oh, they been curious for a while now…Ali Cat.” Olivia grinned playfully as she laughed.

Alex hit her arm playfully. “Shut up. I thought you guys would never mention that, and please, do not bring it up to Casey.”

Olivia chuckled. “C’mon. It’s cute. Childhood nickname?” Alex nodded. “What’s yours?” She smiled.

Alex sighed. “Ali Bear…” she whispered softly.

“That. Is adorable.” Olivia laughed again. “Better than ice queen.”

“You know what, I’m out of here. I’ve got work to do.” Alex grabbed her briefcase and shook her head.

Olivia laughed again and patted Alex’s back before she left. Alex hadn’t noticed, but the whole time she had been talking to Olivia, Casey had been staring at her and trying to figure out whatever she was talking about to Olivia. She sighed softly as she focused back on Cragen and offered a small smile before she too left. It had been a long time since they both had seen each other, even if Alex had recognized her and they were now spending time together again, she knew better than to think that Alex had been thinking about her this whole time. Casey had only been her childhood best friend and now they were colleagues, trying to form a friendship again. That was it.

********************

“C’mon, Casey. You really don’t believe that.” Olivia sighed as she shook her head.

“Olivia, you cannot hold her here when we have no reason. If you get her to confess right now, you can definitely book her in, but otherwise, we have nothing.” Casey said as she looked at Olivia.

“She killed that kid, and you want her to walk away?!” Olivia raised her voice as she looked back at Casey.

“Olivia…it’s been almost 24 hrs. You got nothing on her, and I don’t see her confessing any time soon. She’s not under arrest and soon enough, she’ll lawyer up. Unless she already did, and you haven’t told me about it.” Casey stared at her with a serious look.

Olivia shook her head. “You’re unbelievable. You rather her walk away and get back home, and maybe, she’ll go after another innocent kid. But no, we cannot arrest her. It’ll be on you if another kid dies in her hands!”

“Olivia, that’s enough!”

Both Casey and Olivia turned to find Alex at the door, staring at both women. Alex was now directly staring at Olivia, and Olivia could feel the tension and figured that she had upset not only Casey, but Alex too. After a moment of silence, Alex finally sighed and spoke up, cutting the tension of the room.

“You know better than to argue and blame Casey for something that is not in her hands. Cut her loose and try to find something.” Alex tried to sound as calm as possible, her eyes never leaving Olivia’s.

Olivia nodded softly as she looked between Casey and Alex. “Okay.” She whispered softly and walked out of the room, leaving Alex and Casey alone.

Casey crossed her arms as she sighed, looking back at the suspect. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“There’s nothing you can do right now, Casey. I know better than anyone that it’s their way to intimidate you, so you do something. And honestly, that’d only get you in trouble.”

“I’d get in trouble, not you. So why does it matter?” Casey looked back at Alex and shrugged. “Olivia is right. She’ll go back to the streets, she could get another kid and…” she sighed. “It’ll be on me.”

Alex walked to Casey and placed her hand on her shoulder, rubbing it up and down. “They’ll find something, and you’ll get her. Do not start blaming yourself for this now, Case. Olivia is just upset.”

Casey scoffed as she looked away and licked her lips. “Yeah, well. Maybe you should calm your girlfriend down.” She said almost in a whisper as she went to get her briefcase.

Alex frowned as her eyes followed Casey. “What?”

Casey looked back at Alex as she shrugged. “She listened to you. I could’ve said the same to her and she’d still be all over me here, yelling at me, telling me how I’m heartless and prefer to let her walk free.” She shook her head. “But you walked in, and suddenly she agrees.”

“Casey-“

“No, seriously, Alex. I get it. They have to get used to me but…maybe you should tell your girlfriend that I’m only trying to do my job here, and that’s it. I’m not looking for enemies or anything.” Casey sighed as she shook her head again. “I’ll see you back in the office.”

Before Alex could say anything else, Casey walked out of the room, leaving Alex alone with a confused look on her face. Her girlfriend? Where did she get that from? Why would she say that and why did she seem to be so upset? A lot of questions crossed Alex’s mind as she stood there. Was…was Casey jealous?

********************

The unfinished book had been laying on Alex’s bed for a while now, Alex had gotten herself to finish some paperwork at home since it was a chilly night in New York, and she preferred to finish all of it back in the comfort of her house. She was now making sure that the paperwork was done and making sure there was nothing left to do before she closed the file and put it back on her briefcase. Her eyes landed on the book for a moment, Liz’s words suddenly showed up in her mind as she smiled. She had only left two chapters, around forty pages left. The reason she had never finished the book had been because it reminded her of Casey, and reading it only meant that she would know the end of it, and she wouldn’t be able to tell Casey about it. Of course, she could’ve just told her over the phone, but it wasn’t the same. It wouldn’t be the same. She sighed softly as she grabbed it and placed it back in her briefcase, deciding it was time to sleep.

A few days later, Alex had just arrived at her office after a full day of motions and trials, feeling defeated as she sat down on her chair, leaning back and throwing her head back as she groaned. For the second time that week, her eyes landed on the book that was peaking out of her briefcase, almost as if it was calling for her. For a moment, it made her think back to what had happened with Casey a week ago, she had not been able to talk to her because they both had been pretty busy and Alex had not seen her around the office, but something also told her that maybe, Casey was avoiding her. Even if she was still confused and a little sad over it, she smiled a little and grabbed it, opening it for the first time in god knew how long. Her eyes studied the whole page and finally, she decided she was ready to finish it.

She figured that it had been somehow silly that she never finished it, but it had honestly meant so much for Alex when Casey gave her the book, that the thought of finishing it without her, broke her heart and it made her feel as if she was betraying Casey in some way. Now, Casey seemed to be mad at her, but something told her that she had to finish it, that she could now finish it, and maybe this could be some sort of closure for her. An hour or so went by and Alex had been leaning back on her chair, moving it side to side as she read the book, lost in the words; she had missed how fantasy books made her feel, and it so happened that this book had come with a twist that she had not expected but it made her smile ear to ear. A knock on the door made her look up, her smile fading slightly as she noticed the redhead standing at the door.

“Hey.” Casey said softly.

“Hi.” Alex offered a small smile. “I thought I was the only one in the office.”

Casey huffed a chuckle as she shrugged. “I had to do some paperwork and I thought it would be better to finish it here.”

Alex nodded. “Heading out?”

Casey nodded. “Yeah.” She nibbled on her lip as she looked at Alex. “But…I was hoping I would find you here.”

Alex grinned slightly. “It’s your lucky day.”

Casey chuckled softly as she nodded, closing the door behind her even though she knew they were the only people there. “I uh…I wanted to apologize, for the other day. You…you were protecting me and I just…took it out on you.”

Alex shrugged. “The squad gets on your nerves at some point.” She offered a sympathetic smile.

“But not you.” Casey shook her head. “And you didn’t do anything other than speak for me.”

Alex nodded. “Apology accepted.”

“I’m also sorry about the Olivia thing. It was out of line and-“

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

Casey frowned as she looked at Alex. “She’s…not?”

Alex shook her head. “No.” She chuckled. “We’re just…close friends but…she’s not.”

“Oh.” Casey blushed slightly, trying to look away. “I- made a fool of myself.” She chuckled nervously as she looked down at her hands.

Alex frowned as she had a playful grin on her face. “Did you really think we were together?”

“I just-“ Casey shrugged as she looked back at Alex. “You…you were laughing and…I thought-“

“We were talking about you.” Alex snapped as she smiled.

Casey stopped for a moment and just stared at Alex. “What?”

“She…” Alex huffed a laugh. “That day…of the game. I was supposed to go in support of Elliot. They had invited me, and I had said that I wouldn’t go but they insisted. I got there, and I knew that I was going to bored. I had not been to a game since I went to yours.” She sighed. “When I screamed for you…they stared at me with a face…” she laughed. “With a face that could clearly tell that they were so confused. They were so confused, and I ran away. And then, one time, we were talking about this case, they mentioned out childhoods, and when I was asked how mine had been…I said it had been a bundle of light and joy.” She smiled. “I meant you.”

Casey’s whole body warmed at her words, a faint smile on her face as she listened to Alex. “She figured it out.”

Alex nodded as she smiled. “She did.” She shrugged. “She asked me about you, and I told her. She was making fun of my nickname.”

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. “It was only fair that you were Ali Bear.”

Alex chuckled as she nodded. “Of course, you were my Ali Cat.” She smiled.

Casey smiled as she placed her briefcase on the chair, walking to Alex and leaning over the desk. “What else did you say?”

Alex looked up at Casey and smiled. “I didn’t let her say or ask anything else. I just left.”

Casey nodded. “Was there a question you didn’t answer?”

Alex stared at her for a moment and nodded. “There was.”

Casey smiled softly and then looked down at Alex’s desk, noticing the book in front of her. Her smile widened. “You still have it.”

Alex looked back at the book and smiled. “I just finished it.”

Casey looked back at her and smiled. “Tell me the end?”

Alex looked back at Casey and smiled, a slight blush on her cheeks. “It’s a love story with a twist. She thinks she had her whole future planned, fell in love with someone. But…she ended up with her best friend.”

“A girl?” Casey raised her brow.

“A girl.” Alex smiled as she shrugged. “I’ve never read a book like this one. They always end up with the handsome guy.”

“A bit cliché, anyway, don’t you think?” Casey grinned.

“Maybe. Still nice to see a different ending.” Alex smirked. “Haven’t read a book like this in years.”

“And why did you never finish it?” Casey asked softly as she crossed her arms, looking at Alex with a curious look on her face.

Alex looked down at the book and smiled. “Because you weren’t here to tell you the end.” She looked back up at Casey and smiled. “But now you are.”

Casey wetted her lips and nibbled on it, staring down at Alex. “What was the question, Alex?”

Alex took a deep breath and stood up from her chair, standing in front of Casey. She didn’t know where all this confidence had come from, but she would take it any day. “She asked if I had a crush on you back then.” She took a moment, knowing that Casey would ask about it. “And I didn’t answer it. But the answer is yes…I did.”

Casey smiled. “A kids crush?”

Alex chuckled as she shrugged. “Figured until I was 13.”

Casey stared at her for a moment as she took a deep breath, grinning. “I figured when I was 10.”

Alex frowned. “What?”

“I might’ve been a little too young but…” Casey shrugged. “I had heard other girls talking about crushes. I heard about their crushes and…I tried to read about it anywhere, what a crush was and how could you tell you had one.” She smiled. “I figured when I was ten. But we were kids. I thought…it would just go away. But all I could think about was you.”

Alex’s heart stopped for a moment as she looked into green eyes, taking off her glasses out of nervousness, not knowing where she could put her hands or what to do at the moment. She then started playing with them, not knowing what to say. “And…was it just a kids crush?”

Casey shook her head. “No.” She smiled. “It became more than a kids crush. You never left my mind. And I waited for the day where I could finally see you again, and I hoped for so long that I would.” Alex tilted her head as she brought the temple tip of her glasses to her lips, biting it as she nodded. Casey slowly took the glasses from Alex and put them back on Alex, her hand landing on Alex’s cheek while the other put a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “I always wondered if you’d ever end up with glasses.” She smiled. “They fit you so well. I like it.”

Alex stared at her, her breath hitched as she felt Casey’s stare literally intimidating her without intention. “Casey.” She breathed out.

“It has not gone away, Alex. After all these years.” Casey smiled. “And I finally found you.”

Alex smiled softly as she nodded. “I found you too.”

“So…Ali Bear…” Casey chuckled. “Do you have a crush on me?” She grinned.

Alex chuckled softly as she bit her lip. “Ali Cat…I do. I’ve been in love with you for the longest time. As cheesy as that sounds.”

Casey tilted her head as she smiled. “So.” She stroked her cheek softly. “Should we give it a try?”

Alex smiled as she placed her hands on Casey’s waist, making her stand up and move closer to Alex. “I don’t want to miss another chance, not when you’re back in my life.”

“You’re so cheesy, Ali Bear.” Casey chuckled softly as she wrapped her arms around Alex’s neck and pulled her closer, closing the gap between them.

Alex smiled against her lips before kissing Casey back, her arms wrapping around Casey’s waist and bringing her impossibly closer to her body. Of course it wasn’t her first kiss, but it felt like it was the kiss that she had always dreamt of having, and with the perfect person. She laughed in her mind at how cheesy this whole conversation had turned, but after all, she had ended with the cliché finale that she had read so many times, but this time, that finale included Casey and not some lame, stupid guy. It included the girl of her dreams, and she knew this was just the beginning of their story.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Full Family AU Part 35

"Camila..." Manny's voice called out from the darkness in Camila's mind. She rose through it, blinking her eyes open and found herself on the couch of her living room. She turned her head and saw that Manny was kneeling next to her, Camila's hand in his as his face lit up with a smile. "How you feeling?" he asked.

"I...had the craziest dream," Camila told him. "Vee had left the house and we found her with that annoying woman who ran out at work--"

"Annoying?!" an aggravated voice shouted, making Camila's eyes widen. She then sat up and looked to the foot of the couch, where stood Marilyn, one hand on her hip, the other holding out the staff, and two bits of tissue stuffed into her bleeding nose. She was also glaring at Camila, but she could care less about that.

"How--HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?!" Camila screamed. "Your head just went...PEW! It flew off your body and into a tree!"

"Yeah, thanks for that by the way," Marilyn said, totally annoyed as she cricks her neck. "Not only did I think you loosened some bones a little but you also might have broken my nose! Do you know how long I'm going to a healer to use their magic on me now? For, like, thirty minutes!"

"...I repeat." Camila stood up from the couch, knees shaking a bit but Manny was there to get close and keep her steady. "How are you alive? How can anyone survive their head getting blown off?"

"Lady, I don't think you've noticed, but I'm not like anyone else." Marilyn then waved her staff and flicked her left ear as if that was supposed to mean anything. But the confused looks she got from both Nocedas proved that it didn't, earning an eye-roll from Marilyn. "I'm a witch," she said instead.

"A witch?!" Camila shrieked. She clutched onto Manny tightly, whereas he just stared blankly at Eda.

"That's...the least craziest thing to happen this week," Manny said, running a hand through his hair. "Man, Luz found a really bad time to fall asleep."

"Wait, where is Luz?!" Camila asked, adjusting her priorities to something more important. Manny answered by pointing a foot away from the couch to show Luz laying on the floor, King snuggled up in her arms as they snored softly. Normally, such a display would make Camila's heart melt, but the worry of what the hell that creature in Luz's arms could be made her heart quicken in pace a bit instead.

"Don't worry about King," Marilyn told her, catching onto Camila's worries. "He's just a little guy with big dreams of being the King of Demons. Mostly because I put that dream in his head."

Camila stared at Marilyn with wide eyes.

"Oh, I don't actually mean that he will," she added in quickly. "It's just a little lie to make him feel bigger than he is. Sort of like playing pretend. I'll make sure reality sinks it...eventually."

Camila narrowed her eyes at Marilyn now and turned her attention back to her daughter. She then noticed Vee sitting cross-legged next to Luz and King, wide awake and still staring at Eda.

"Has Vee been like that this whole time?" Camila asked.

"Yeah," Marilyn said with a shudder. "No offense, but you've got one creepy kid."

"No offense--And I'm genuinely not trying to be offensive here," Manny spoke up. "But I'm starting to think it might be because of you."

"Me?!"

"She's acting like this because she smells magic," Manny explained. "She told us she sort of...feeds off of it. Maybe she's smelling the magic coming off of you and it's making her...like that."

"What the heck kind of thing eats magic?" Marilyn couldn't help but asked, more concerned of her safety than ever. She then glanced at King, wondering if he'll be safe being that close to a magic eater.

"That," Camila said, "is a need to know basis. And some crazy bruja with a detachable head and inability to pay for her dog's check ups does not need to know anything yet."

"...Seriously?"

"Seriously."

Marilyn groaned and, for some reason, started digging into her hair. Eventually, she pulled out a deck of cards and waved them at Vee.

"Hey, kiddo," Marilyn said. "You want a snack? Here ya go."

She tosses the cards over, and they just smacked Vee right in the face. She blinked, sniffed, and then looked down at the pack. Then, like a beast finding a meal, she pounced onto them and started eating each card at a time.

"What...are those?" Manny was the first to ask.

"My Hex 'em, Hold 'em cards," Marilyn said as if it made sense. "They cost a dollar a deck, but have some good magic stored in them. Should be enough for the little monster."

"Don't call my daughter a--" But Camila's outburst was cut short by the sound of a little THUMP. She looked back to Vee and saw she had now passed out on the floor with Luz, cards still in her hand as she snored gently.

"Well, looks like that tuckered her out," Marilyn stated, a proud smile. Yet Camila couldn't help but stare at her with an astonished expression. With a bit of annoyance still there.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Well, I suppose a better introduction is necessary." Marilyn twirled her staff and hit the butt of it on the floor, causing a yellow aura to glow around her. "I...am Eda the Owl Lady!"

"Eda? I thought your name was Marilyn."

"What? Oh! That?" Eda laughed with a wave of her hand. "That's just a name I tell people when I visit. The truth is I'm the greatest witch in the Boiling Isles!"

"The Boiling Isles?" Manny asked now.

"A land from a realm that's just outside your own, with bits of our world leaking into yours and creating most things that you humans would call a myth. Consider us your next door neighbors who often dump our trash into yours when our garbage bin's gotten a little full. As for how that happens, well, I can answer that another time. But for now, I have but one question for the two of you."

Camila and Manny just gaped at her, neither knowing what to say or what to think. For the third time this week, all that they thought was normal got shattered into oblivion, and there's no way of going back.

At this point, all one can do is go forward.

"Wh-What's your question?" Camila asked.

"Simple...Can me and my boy crash on your couch for a bit?"

[lunawolfiefoxy]

Silly headcanons for LU boys!

Time: While he claims to fear nothing, if he saw Princess Ruto, he'd be running for the hills shouting "Not today demon!". He calls Malon "wifey" as his main pet name for her, but will also call her "Sweets" "darling" and "love"

Warriors: He's trans. Fight me on that. My guy has gotten the surgeries he can pay for, and he's happy about that. He also grew up in a more dangerous place so he knows a lot more than he lets on. He's an amazing pick-pocket and can, if he wanted to, stab you literally in the back without even Wolfie or Wild know he was there. Sneaky sneaky. His fear, because I thought it was funny and because he doesn't know the difference between a cow and a bull and has seen too many rodeos as a kid, is cows.

Twilight: SUPER delicate. For how strong he is, he has no idea if one hug will squish someone. He also, even though he's been told not to, will juggle the goats. Don't worry, he asks beforehand to make sure the goats will be okay with it. Twilight is also a HUGE Mama's boy. While he loves his father Time *cough cough*, getting validation from MALON sends him to the stars. Lastly, his fear, because as Wolfie he accidentally breathed them in, is ants.

Sky: We all know him for being sweet and kind and a total beast when someone hurts those he loves, but he also, after hurting those people, will apologize for hurting them cause he suddenly feels really guilty about it. Sometimes, if he gets the chance, he'll carve minifigures of the others and hide them in his pouch, when the others finally found out, his pouch was overflowing with animals, but mostly them. Sky would be the type of person to carve the lead in pencils. His fear, scarecrows. Do I need to say more?

Legend: Oh boy, here we go, Legend is autistic. That's the main thing. Anytime his orchard gives a good production of apples, he gets really excited and will word vomit to anyone close by most of the time it's Ravio since they live together and are dating. He may be an awful cook, but his baking skills can challenge even Wild. He mainly bakes apple desserts, but loves to try new recipes, as long as no one gets in his way. He's a big neat freak and feels really embarrassed when someone sees his house as a mess. Being a hoarder and a neat freak is hard though, so he ends up trying to clean everything and it looks barely better then before. His moto, like mine, is: "if I don't do it now, it'll never get done." Which leads him to collapsing from exhaustion because he tries to do everything at once. Legend has bad joints, surprise surprise, so he drinks tea in the morning and at night to counter that. Because of this cute story I read, I think that whenever Legend is around people that he loves, in a home that he feels safe in, because of a side effect of being Bunny, he will fall asleep right then and there. Finally, Legend fears thunderstorm, for obvious reasons, loosing more people he loves, quite obvious, and Cuccos, also obvious.

Hyrule: Also a Mama's boy. Even though he doesn't know his Mama, though he soon will, he likes to hang around Malon when on the farm and ask all the questions he can think of. He can't read, like most believe, or write, but he is surprisingly really good at interpretation and reading lips. His fear, water, poor baby can't swim and has had too much trauma around it.

Wild: This one's a lot too. Wild is also autistic, and a huge introvert. When first introduced to the chain, he either ran away, or would hide in trees most of the time out of fear of them. Wild actually collects makeup, and dresses, and is really good at hair and applying makeup, though he can't do his own hair for squat. Wild has insanely good hearing from "growing up" in the middle of nowhere, and acts animalistic, ex: growling when he feels he's in danger, whimpering when in pain, when he yelps it sounds more like a yip, curling up in a tight ball when he sleeps. Wild, though he hunts a lot, actually really loves animals, and takes care to only hunt the animals if there are too many, or if the animal is sick or injured beyond repair. When he has a memory, his heart stops and he stops breathing, almost like his spirit has been transported to that point in time. Super supporter in anything, unless it's something that's harmful to his family, ex: transphobia, homophobia, making sexual comments to those who are asexual and/or not interested. Is afraid of anything that reminds him of the Shrine of Resurrection.

Four: Any and every time he exits a portal, his mind splits so the colors are there, but Four is physically the only one there. His shadow always seems to move on its own, and he sometimes talks to it when he's feeling down. If he's given a recipe, he's a decent cook, but without one, his food would turn out like Hyrule's. When he's not spilt, his fingernails are painted. Thumb black, pointer green, middle blue, ring violet, pinky red. When at the farm, he snatches all of the groups armor, weapons, and shields and repairs them, otherwise his favorite chore is to tend to the horses. His fear, I think it's obvious, loosing more people he loves.

Wind: The air around him always smells of salt, and he never seems to run out of energy. Though he hates being the youngest of the group, he does take advantage of it to get away with doing stupid things, until he gets hurt, then he gets in trouble. Being youngest, he obviously gets baby, but there are times where he is the one babying one of the others, and those are times he uses to manipulate the others. He is a pirate, pirate equals treasure hunter, also pick-pocket, also knowing every swear in the book, also having a flask of rum. When the others learn of this, Time confiscates his flask until he discovers non-alcoholic stuff that tastes the same, never telling Wind. Wind's fear, Time's disappointed look.

I wrote this in my headcanon age order, do what you wish with this 😈