#mostly rambling thoughts on death and immortality

[krysmcscience]

Oh, hey, remember these cute lil kiddos who totally aren't evil or anything?

Yeah, they're in color now. And still very much actually evil.

pay no mind to the lazy background behind the orphans

Some more headcanon rambles under the cut:

Prior deets are here.

I've thought a little bit more about each Bishop's backstory kinda? But not too much - mostly just deciding how they met, and having fun assigning deaths to their families to allow for a continued cycle of abuse (in a sense). Each of the Bishops' families died in a way that relates to their eventual domains as gods, enabling them to lash out at others with the very things that left them as orphans. Because I'm nice to characters like that. And by nice I mean horrible. :D

Shamura:

Shamura's parents were already part of a cult, and had learned too much about a group of enemy heretics they'd been spying on, and thus their rather large family was slaughtered alongside the rest of the family's cult in the midst of the ongoing war. Shamura had been away to run an errand before the attack, and thus was unable to do anything about it (in parallel to how they did very little to protect their siblings from both Narinder and the Lamb). They were very close to their family, and the loss drove them to start finding new family in the form of other orphans they came across. It wasn't just the four who became their adopted siblings, but the others either did not survive, or simply couldn't keep up with Shamura's ambitions - to end the gods whose followers took up arms and cut down everyone Shamura knew.

Throughout their journeys, they intensely studied the ways of war, weaponry, and spellcasting, particularly curses; because, after all, gods could hardly be killed with mere mortal weapons. They also researched a great deal into the gods' crowns, as well as certain immortal entities who weren't quite gods, as the three birds seemed strangely neutral, and amenable to helping anyone who crossed their paths, all without asking for anything in return. Shamura's studies and research grew much easier once they met Kallamar, due to the circumstances of his upbringing.

Kallamar:

Kallamar's well-off but isolated family was wiped out by disease, spread intentionally by those who wanted to quickly wipe out proclaimed heretics, and Kallamar himself nearly died from the sickness, as well. He was found by Shamura, who had only been intending to rob the manor he lived in, but offered to nurse him back to health if he would grant them use of the place as a base of operations. He agreed, so Shamura did as they offered, with some assistance from their entourage, which by that time already included Heket.

Once Kallamar was on the mend, he was informed of precisely who was responsible for the obliteration of his family. He chose to join Shamura's group in seeking vengeance, and began to learn how to utilize various weapons from them. Due to his cowardly tendencies, though, on his own time, he focused more on subtler methods that he could use up until being backed into a corner - poisons, mainly, before expanding to contagions created from a mix of curses and natural elements. Kallamar's manor remained a base of operations for the siblings up until the beginnings of the Old Faith were established, and their respective temples constructed.

Heket:

Heket was an only child, and her parents both starved to death; they were farmers whose livestock died out across several consecutive crop failures. Those failures were made worse by intentional sabotage from several feuding cults situated nearby, as none of them wanted to risk letting their enemies barter for critical food supplies. Heket managed to survive by consuming her own parents' bodies, as well as those of dead cultists she came across while trying to go on living as close to normally as she could, though when it was realized that she was alone, her home was invaded while she was out looking for more food. Furious at the audacity, she torched the place with the interlopers still inside, and set out in search of a new home - and more food, which she was not picky about.

She would steal anything she could to eat from campsites and cult grounds, and for good measure, she would set anything she couldn't carry with her ablaze before moving on - equal parts distraction and a means to starve out potential enemies. She crossed paths with Shamura by chance - alone - and attempted to rob them of their food. They were more clever than she expected, though, and by now already used to desperately hungry orphans trying to nick a meal. To her surprise, Shamura invited her to eat with their small group, and between the food and the talk of bringing down the many warring cults one by own, Heket decided to continue traveling with Shamura - whether they wanted her to or not. Fortunately, they did, as she was already quickly learning the tricks to thievery, and had a knack for utilizing explosives. (I will die on this hill. She blew me up so many times, Kallamar had nothing on her.)

Leshy:

Leshy's nomadic family was killed in a freak accident - a lightning strike right in the middle of a random ambush by traveling cultists. Being little more than a toddler, Leshy initially survived by burrowing out of sight, and then by disarming the attackers with how deceptively cute he looked. On a whim, one of the cultists decided to try to indoctrinate him, and he was carried along with the group until nightfall - after which, in a fit of pure unhinged toddler fury, he wrecked their campsite AND their faces before fleeing underground. He survived just short of feral for a while, catching his food (animals and people) in the pit traps he'd learned to make from his family. After that, he wound up wandering close enough to Kallamar's manor to spot a group of kids heading inside, and decided to be the little menace he is.

He started off digging traps around the manor - and definitely ate at least one of the orphan kids - before graduating to breaking and entering. He nicked food, toys, and/or weapons each time, mostly just for the fun of it, before Shamura eventually managed to catch Leshy in a trap he couldn't burrow or bite his way out of (and his cute puppy eyes were not going to work on them anymore - not after the first two dozen times). Kallamar attempted to make Leshy fix all that he'd broken in the manor, as well as return everything he'd stolen, with very minimal success. Heket wound up being the one to bring Leshy more or less to heel, mostly by feeding him and showing off all the cool ways she could blow things up, which he found entertaining enough to become slightly more bearable around other people. For a long time, however, having him around was more or less like living with a half-feral and all-manic hyperactive animal without any concept of or care for social niceties. Kallamar did not appreciate all the property damage, but conceded to Shamura's certainty that Leshy's...unique skillset would be useful going forward. (Naturally, they were not wrong.)

Narinder:

In keeping with parallels - more than one this time, even - Narinder attacked and killed his own family. Eventually, at least, and as retribution, because his parents saw him as the runt of the litter, too needy and not worth the effort it would take to keep him alive. He was not merely abandoned, but sold off for a pittance to cultists, who wanted to sacrifice him to the then-god of death. Being as small as he was at the time, however, he was able to squeeze out of his shackles and wriggle from his chains on the way to the cult's ritual grounds, sneaking away while his captors were distracted. He did not go far, however - he was too furious with them for that. He trailed after them, instead, waiting until nightfall, and strangled the leader in their sleep with the very chains they'd put on him, before cutting the throats of the rest of the sleeping cultists. He then attempted to track down his traitorous family by following scent trails, but was soon thwarted by a downpour. Still, he vowed to find them one day, and sacrifice them the same way he would have been had he not escaped.

The deets for his meeting his siblings are in the prior post, so that really just leaves his family's deaths. After Shamura began their rise to power, their growing influence - along with help from the other siblings - made it easy for Narinder to discover where his parents and littermates had taken refuge. With his own influence in Shamura's budding cult, he faced no issues with ordering his "family" to be brought to him for sacrifice, though he did briefly fly off the handle and cut down his father for being the one to suggest selling the runt. Speaking of which - Narinder was quite delighted to let his so-called family see how much bigger he was than all of them by that point. He was equally delighted to behead every last family member himself, and to desecrate their remains by putting various pieces of them on display around the cult grounds. I'd say his adoptive siblings were disturbed by this, but. Obviously, every last one is fucked up enough to where we all know they weren't. <:]

At some point I'll share the toxic obsessive Narilamb AU that draws from this backstory, lmao, but for now I need to sleep. X_X;

[ozthedm]

Vampire Ascendant Ramblings!

I love Baldur’s Gate 3. I love the vampire genre. I am particularly fascinated with the concept of the Vampire Ascendant for a number of reasons that mainly boil down to “what does it mean to be the Vampire Ascendant and what is the true cost of this power?”

This post is essentially a collection of my observations, thoughts, and headcanons regarding the ascension ritual. Think of this as fanfic inspiration material. Get ready folks, because we’re about to dip a toe into 5e lore and get existential.

What does the Rite of Profane Ascension actually do?

Raphael explains the ritual as thus:

“If he completes the rite, he will become a new kind of being - the Vampire Ascendant. All the strengths of his vampiric form will be amplified, and alongside them he will enjoy the luxuries of the living. The arousals and appetites of man will return to him, and unlike Astarion, he will have no need of a parasite to protect him from the sun. But the ritual has a price, as all worthwhile things do. Lord Cazador will need to sacrifice a number of souls including all of his vampiric spawn if he is to ascend… Your soul will set off a very wave of death, bringing Cazador his twisted life.” 

TLDR: If Cazador offers up the souls of 7000 vampire spawn, then maybe he’ll feel less like shit.

Other specific perks include:

The hunger for blood that plagues all vampires will no longer affect him.

His heart will beat again (Could he even be considered undead at that point?)

He still gets to remain immortal in the sense that he will never age

He can choose to extend his protection from the sun to his spawn, but this protection can be revoked

He can be reflected in mirrors.

There are some details that remain unclear, so here’s where we step into headcanon territory:

Running water will no longer harm him

A normal wooden stake won’t be enough to paralyze him. You’d be better off with a magical weapon

Although he will still need an invitation to enter homes, His enhanced vampiric charm practically makes it a nonissue

And now a couple of notes on Mephistopheles and the contract itself:

“Devils bargain with mortals to upend the divine order. They stake claims on souls that would otherwise go to the gods or be cast adrift somewhere other than the Nine Hells. If you are already a creature of Law and Evil devoted to no other entity, your damned spirit is of meager value.”

  - Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes

Mephistopheles is an arcane innovator. His realm, Cania, is essentially a giant laboratory where he conducts extensive experiments. 

When it comes to souls, Mephistopheles prefers quality over quantity. He mostly acquires the souls of highly accomplished wizards and sages to help him with his research. To demand the souls of 7000 vampire spawn seems uncharacteristically beneath him (especially for the power he’s offering) 

My thinking is that Mephistopheles is working on something that specifically requires vampiric energy and lots of it. The 7000 spawns are nothing more than fodder.

A devil’s deal never ends well. This is repeatedly stated throughout the game. Considering what we know of Mephistopheles and how little Cazador cares for his spawn, this whole contract sounds far too good to be true. So what’s the catch?

A few possible ideas as to the downsides:

Mephistopheles is always watching. After all, this is a completely new kind of being that warrants study. 

The Ascendant’s hunger for blood is replaced with a different hunger. A hunger that is indescribable and insatiable. He will always yearn for more. More power, more control, more anything. He may even return to Mephistopheles in an attempt to fill the void. 

The Ascendant’s own soul is included in the price, albeit differently. Where the other souls were simply consumed by the ritual, his will serve another purpose. (Not gonna lie, this one sent me on a whole existential journey trying to figure out what is means to have/lack a soul)

I might post more thoughts later, but this is enough for now

[kaimukiwahine]

Just gonna type my thoughts out based on my notes I wrote while playing the To the Moon Beach Episode. So spoilers/long ramble.

Short things:

They brought back many minor characters from Finding Paradise, thought that was very cute

References: The "Are you winning, son?" in the airport was charming but I did not expect to get a full FNAF section

I love the use of previous games OST: updated versions and the lo-fi versions

Animations were very charming and expressive; they even joke about it ("didn't have a budget for it. The dance lessons")

That inverted/hanging jellyfish planter. I need it. I need it now.

Rob learning what people are up to on the internet these days only to instantly regret it

Willis and Taima still going at it. They are lifelong couple goals: keeping the flame alive while dropping wisdom

I need that soundtrack.

Bigger things:

Johnny and River addressing what most players/general audience found concerning about the original game and overall premise of the series: Altering and overwriting of memories or basically the reality of the dying. While jokingly Johnny says he could never see himself using their services, both conclude it's their choice and they just need to accept it

This was slightly touched on in the Minisode but for it to be brought into attention by the original characters that kicked off this series, it's something.

The three books at the beginning already set forth what this game is gonna be all about: grieving and acceptance of the passing of a loved one. The first run through, Eva completely numbed her memories to enjoy the beach and time with Neil. But there was always something.

Second run, she "confronts" as Faye states the truth: Neil is dead.

It was hinted that Eva started drinking (in the store) and has been repeatedly using the machine Neil left behind that Neil becomes concerned for her. (Similar to Collin in Finding Paradise.) While she wants to stay on the beach and relive the same day over and over, it's not possible.

There was a brief mention of immortality. One being a jellyfish that reverts back to infancy as it reaches the end of their lifespan and questioning if it's still the same jellyfish or not. Then compared to humans how we regenerate new cells except the brain and heart.

Roxie finds it romantic, Eva wishes that those also gets replaced with every pass.

Neil's death was either sudden or his condition was kept secret from Eva? Eva mentioned he didn't give her enough time to prepare and Neil didn't know what to do and I think he said he made the machine just so he just doesn't disappear and to leave something behind for her.

*Edit* I completely forgot about Paper Memories. I'm guessing the phone call Eva got from Roxie was that Neil passed away (given how distressed Roxie was in that one panel). It is possible that that portion was in the machine and that Rob and Roxie were aware. That whole portion is basically like this Beach Episode.

Edit2: thinking again, the call could be him in critical condition since in the comic Neil mentions making that garden. Eva not replying to Neil on how he died makes it sound like it was traumatic. She mentioned something about a surgery when talking to Lynri and Quincy and asking how he is when he visits them but not sure if that's involved or just a throwaway line.

Neil lives on with regrets; mostly wishing Eva was his girlfriend and more. Though he isn't real in the game, he still carries the memories he had. He built her "a garden" (comic reference) but she started spending too much time. And she can't fully enjoy it because he continues to keep her at arms length.

Neil locked himself in his room, much like he did in many instances throughout the series and now canonically, all throughout the life Eva and Neil has been together. Thinking he's doing what's best for her when all she wanted is him to be "here'

He regrets those decisions but it's understandable on why he did it. In Impostor Factory, Lynri's condition was hereditary and is in Neil. Seeing Quincy's face of absolute loneliness knowing he's about to lose his wife and eventually his son, it would devastate anyone. Neil making a machine to make it so that Eva would never have to go through that, while admirable, changed nothing. If not, made things worse.

How they close the game was brutal: The world Neil created for Eva to never be alone after he has passed slowly fading away, concluding with Eva being alone, crying, as she turns the machine off.

You couldn't just leave it like this for them. Together alone on the beach.

No. It's just Eva. Alone.

[rollercoasterofshitposts]

RAMBLE TIME BUCKLE UP

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR TRIALS OF APOLLO AND BASICALLY EVERY PERCY JACKSON BOOK EVER BUT MOSTLY TOA, ESPECIALLY THE BURNING MAZE.

TLDR at the end.

spoilers start now ok bye

Here are some facts that we know for sure:

1. Percy Jackson is named after Perseus, the Greek hero who killed Medusa.

2. Perseus is one of the only, if not THE only Greek hero to not die tragically.

3. Rick Riordan is VERY careful about how he uses names throughout the series, something he addresses from the very beginning when Percy gets to camp. Percy says Zeus’s name (or Kronos’s, can’t remember which and I’m lazy right now) and the sky rumbles, and Chiron warns Percy that names have power and to use them carefully. Later, in Tartarus (if I’m remembering correctly), Percy and Annabeth are wary of using names because of their proximity to monster respawn points.

4. The only other main character named after a Greek hero is Jason Grace.

Here are some things we can assume, based on Rick’s writing style and the details he has given us:

1. A character’s name will tell you something about them. That’s a Riordan near-guarantee.

1a. For example: Piper being a reference to the Pied Piper since she can get anyone to do anything for her, even follow her off a bridge.

1b. Or Magnus and Alex being confirmed from the beginning because Rick mentioned that he stole the name Magnus from Cassandra Clare. (She wrote The Mortal Instruments, which contains a gay couple named Magnus and Alec (Alexander).)

1c. Or Leo being named after the great inventor Leonardo daVinci (not confirmed, but they’re so similar it’s hard to believe otherwise).

1d. A castellan is the governor of a castle who enforces the law around the land. They also have military responsibility. Luke Castellan. nuff said.

2. NAMES HAVE POWER IN THIS UNIVERSE. Sally literally named Percy after a Greek hero to keep his roots close in a subtle way, but she purposefully picked a Greek hero that lives.

2a. HUGE example: Castor and Pollux. In myth, sons of Jupiter. Castor is mortal while Pollux is immortal, and Castor dies. (Slightly irrelevant but Rick loves taking notes from other authors so: In The Hunger Games, part of Katniss’s film team. Castor dies, Pollux lives.) In PJO, sons of Dionysus. Castor dies during Battle of the Labyrinth, while Pollux lives.

The one exception to this rule is Jason Grace. Or so I thought.

If you read the myth pertaining to Jason (Golden Fleece, Argo the First, Medea, etc) you find out that Jason of the Argo dies when he falls asleep on his ship underneath the rotting mast and it falls and kills him. There’s a lot of other stuff that goes down, but for the sake of being succinct, here’s a link to the myth for your perusal:

The only other SUPER MEGA IMPORTANT DETAIL from this myth: Argo Jason, by cheating on Medea, falls out of favor with Hera, while in PJO/HOO, Hera actively names Jason 2.0 and claims him as her champion. (despite him being. Y’know. The proof of her husband being a jackass to her. quality time with the stepmom right there.)

Putting this all together:

1. Sally purposefully named Percy after a Greek hero who lived, indicating fear that he would die if she chose a different name

2. Names have power and Rick puts meaning behind every single name he uses.

3. Jason dies in The Burning Maze.

The real kicker is that they both die in the same way: having lost everything, with so much still to do, dying a completely avoidable death because they weren’t paying attention to what was going on behind them. There’s differences, obviously, because Jason Grace is actually a good person, but those are inconsequential as the big picture is all the same. (We see these similarities happen A LOT with Percy, especially when he kills Medusa.)

We should have known. Rick laid out all the pieces for us from the very beginning, even (possibly) going so far as to straight up tell us that one of the seven would die (again, not confirmed, I saw it in a meme and maybe his twitter? idk im ty ty).

so:

TLDR: Rick Riordan left a gigantic trail of breadcrumbs that should have clued us all in to the fact that Jason was gonna die long before it happened.

And no, I will never shut up about Jason. Justice for my favorite white boy.

[number-one-shadisper-shipper]

Okay so WHAT IF

The Biolizard was an actual Mobian?

Introducing Hazard the Lizard!

(Not entirely happy with the design yet but I just wanted to get it out here)

Ramblings about this concept under cut!

In this AU, "Project Finalhazard" was the precursor to Project Shadow, and created Hazard. He was basically Shadow's big brother, and lived with Shadow and Maria on the ARK until the incident with GUN.

Hazard has really powerful regeneration abilities and is essentially immortal, as well as having a bit of Chaos Energy (but not as much as Shadow). He has no Black Arms DNA, being fully lizard (although with plenty of genetic modification by Gerald). The canon version of the Biolizard is actually a form he can take, called his "Finalhazard form", and happens when he's extremely upset or angry. The inhibitor rings on his arms and wrists help him keep it under control. He also is basically entirely "powered" via the green tubes and the thing on his back, which act almost like a heart for him.

While Hazard loved his little brother Shadow, he was extremely aware of his own position as the "prototype" and thus felt inferior to Shadow. There was a lot of jealousy and tension on his part, although Shadow wasn't really aware of the extent of it.

When the ARK was raided, Shadow took Maria to try to get her to safety, being faster than Hazard, while Hazard tried to fight the GUN agents. They managed to lock him away, and because he was in his Finalhazard form, they thought he was just a creature and basically forgot about him. He was left alone aboard the ARK when they finished the raid and remained there until the events of Sonic Adventure 2.

Hazard went a little insane being sealed away on the ARK for fifty years. (Fortunately he slipped into stasis a lot due to the ARK's power being mostly shut off, so he didn't experience the entire fifty years, but still). He particularly got pretty messed up about Shadow, partially being really worried about him and wanting to see him again, and partially being really angry and blaming him for everything. Shadow also lost most of his memories of him due to Gerald's manipulation of his memories. When Shadow and Sonic found him in SA2, Hazard was at first super excited to see Shadow, but then went a bit crazy and ended up going into his Finalhazard form and fighting them like in the actual game. After the final battle, he was able to get back inside the ARK in his normal form and felt extremely guilty about Shadow's "death". Sonic and the gang brought him back to Earth, but he promptly ran away and decided to just roam and do his own thing.

Currently, he still deals with a lot of psychotic issues, especially when it comes to Shadow. Whenever they interact, he ping-pongs between wanting to kill fight him or wanting fun brotherly antics. He's getting better though, slowly. Mostly he just enjoys exploring the world, having adventures, and causing minor trouble. He's mostly a good guy aside from being unstable.

[cult-bull]

Immortal Narinder and the Bishops Thoughts

Every time I look at the bishops and Narinder as followers in the cult I do keep questioning why Narinder is such a special case. More in a sense of, why does only he keep his immortality?

There are realistically many reasons. Former god of death so unaffected by said death like the others, is an easy one.

But maybe it's just because Narinder didn't die?

Like, maybe I'm missing something, but unless you do choose to kill him, when sparing Narinder to get as a follower he officially, has never died. He was dethroned, mostly depowered, but never killed and brought back mortal in game lore (resurrection game mechanics are a different beast with how much we can take them as canon influencing)

The bishops did die though, we took their hearts, and they suffered in purgatory for us to find and redefeat, aka pull out of the cycle, aka resurrect. Maybe being killed in ways for the lamb to absorb their powers and unlock abilities took a lot more of their former godhood from them than it did with Narinder, thus causing the loss of the immortality trait?

I dont know, just rambling to give my brain something to chew.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

one whumpy thing i absolutely cannot get enough of is immortal/hyper-regenerating whump. like when a character is some sort of vampire or demigod or something where they can still get seriously injured and still feel the pain, but they can regenerate from it. The depths of the injuries can be much more serious without killing the character. Smashed skulls, getting impaled, limbs removed, it's great

i once read a book where a character like this had her head literally ripped from her body and it described in excruciating detail everything she felt as her brain slowly shut down, while she was trying to telepathically pull her body closer so she could regenerate. the whumperflies were unmatched. I think I was like, maybe around twelve, maybe younger when I read it and it's still stuck with me to this day.

most recently i've been reading The Locked Tomb books, which have a lot of this sort of whump thanks to all the necromancy, but also a lot of great whump in general.

the only downside with this type of whump is that it lacks the whumpy whumpy goodness of leaving scars, depending on how the regeneration works.

sorry for the rambling lol, what are your thoughts on this?

you’re not rambling. there’s no need to apologize! ♡

I talked a bit about immortal whumpee a little while ago here, but basically, my thoughts on immortality when it comes to whumpee are that I will always have a soft spot for whumpee who literally, physically cannot die. (and by soft spot, I mean ‘yesssss give the little guy all the torture, put them in ✨situations✨’)

I couldn’t agree more when you said the whumperflies are when whumpee feels all the pain but literally cannot escape that pain via death. so they’re left struggling, suffering, absolutely in the state where they’re miserable endlessly. it gives me whumperflies too.

p.s. I actually do have a blorbo who is immortal (he does die, but every time he dies, he will always immediately come back, thus his deaths are never permanent), and seeing him die a gruesome, horrible death in every episode of his show has been such a great source of whumperflies for me. the show’s called Forever, and its main protagonist, Henry Morgan, is cursed to live forever. also Henry Morgan’s a medical examiner so, apart from his constant death (this guy is never good at staying alive for long), we also get other whump via each murder Henry solves in each episode. although… while Henry’s many, many deaths are mostly rather quick (not that quick — don’t worry, the audience can still clearly see him in pain — but the show never lets him suffer for too long), the whump is actually very good. and overall it’s such a great show. it unfortunately got canceled after the first season, but a part of me will forever hope that it will maybe one day get a second season somehow 🥺

[fantastic-rambles]

BSD Headcanon: Fyodor the Wandering Jew

(Warning: Spoilers for Chapters 112-113/Season 5)

Disclaimer: I am not religious in any way and mostly just have a passing knowledge of various bits of different religions, including Christianity. No blasphemy is intended in these wild ravings of an overly obsessed fan.

As always, I can be a bit rambly as I mostly throw my thoughts out as they come, so apologies if it's somewhat disorganized. Many of my claims/connections are very tenuous (in particular, the final jump to the Wandering Jew), and I understand that, which is why this is just a headcanon.

Fyodor has always been a rather enigmatic character in Bungou Stray Dogs. Sometimes referred to as a "demon," and with an intelligence that rivals that of characters including Ranpo and Dazai, he has repeatedly shown himself to be a formidable foe capable of manipulating a great number of people and devising plans that are quite difficult to overturn. He also seems to be very religious, speaking often of God and sin and seeming to believe in predestination. Furthermore, despite his significant role in many of the plots involving the Detective Agency--from apparently being, at the very least, an active observer of the Guild's actions to devising the "terrorism" plot--very little is known about him and his ability "Crime and Punishment" other than its ability to kill without the need for skin contact. Although fanon has come up with a fairly plausible mechanism for how his ability works, it has not yet been discovered or revealed in canon, even up until his "death."

Immortality

"Death" because I am not entirely convinced that Fyodor is actually dead, despite Dazai's claim in Chapter 112. In the most recent chapter (Chapter 113), it has been revealed that Fyodor has many more mysteries to him as Sigma struggles to process the information overload that is his memories. Most significantly, that he has been alive for a very long time: at the very least, from a time that appears to be during the Middle Ages, when Bram was still alive and whole. This, of course, shocks Sigma (though, to be fair, that isn't a great metric for "shock" as he is easily surprised 🤣), but at the very least, Fyodor is as old as Bram and does not appear to age.

At the time, he apparently was passing himself off as a traveling minstrel, and he claimed to have intentionally gotten himself caught for the sole purpose of getting a look at Bram to judge his character as "evil incarnate" (something that would have appealed to Fukuchi for many reasons in apprehending him centuries later, as a prerequisite of the Decay of Angels plan). Of course, this seems like a preposterous reason to throw yourself into the jaws of death, so Fyodor is believed to be a spy and sentenced to death the following day.

Assuming that he wasn't somehow saved/Bram wasn't incapacitated (possibly stabbed by the holy sword for the first time) in the intervening time and his sentence was carried out... that means that Fyodor somehow also survived being killed at the time, while gaining some information about Bram that would have been useful for his "future" plans. (Some more of my musings on that topic can be found here, though the anime covered most of the key points--and especially confirmed my central theory--when Untold Origins was animated.)

If he is immortal, this could also help explain why his ability did not attempt to kill him when they were separated by Shibusawa's mist in Dead Apple: the "reason" provided was that Fyodor was "crime" and his ability was "punishment," and that they were good friends, but if Fyodor is immortal for reasons that are not tied to his ability, then it simply couldn't kill him even if it wanted to.

His Goal

Of course, this then raises the question of how long Fyodor has actually been alive. Although he has lent his assistance to many others, in the end, as he told Bram, he is working for himself. But to what end?

Ostensibly, of course, to rid the world of the "sin" of abilities. But coupled with immortality, which is, more often than not, a curse rather than a blessing in the hundreds of works on the subject out there, it raises the question of whether he is just seeking his own death. Maybe that was even part of his reason for getting caught by Bram: because he wanted to see if another immortal could kill him. But if there is some sort of supernatural, non-ability-based reason for his immortality (or even ability-based but not lost during Dead Apple), perhaps there are conditions that must be satisfied for him to achieve this: it is not enough for him to merely commit suicide or be killed. Thus, all of his plots could just be the means to an end, literally, for him.

Surprisingly, he does seem to have a genuine belief in God, which is quite interesting for a control freak like Fyodor (distinguished from cults that use religion as a tool to control followers but whose leaders do not genuinely believe in God). Even so, he expresses an understanding of and even an admiration for Gogol's desire to defy God and "lose sight of himself."

Perhaps he, too, wishes that he could oppose God and achieve his own sort of "freedom" or "release from the yoke of sin" that is denied to him.

The Wandering Jew

Which leads to the equally curious Wandering Jew (at least, in my weird brain). His relationship to Jesus seems to be a subject of contention, but at its core, he is said to be someone fated/cursed to walk the Earth until the Second Coming (via Wikipedia).

In my opinion, it is possible that Fyodor has been alive since the time of Jesus--if not longer--given the vast amount of memories that Sigma has to sort through of "every single one of [his] secrets." Enough, Fyodor says, that he may never wake up, just as Atsushi needed some time to process the information about the "page" that he received from Sigma. Thus, if he committed a "crime" at the time that resulted in his being cursed with immortality (by a higher power, or perhaps Jesus' ability--I'll try not to go down that rabbit hole 🤣), he could have a reason to believe in God, and he could also believe that engineering some sort of Armageddon might finally free him from his mortal coil. Just because Fukuchi wanted to achieve world peace doesn't necessarily mean that was also Fyodor's goal: especially given how he has apparently been manipulating people for centuries, at the very least, someone as "simple" and idealistic as Fukuchi was probably easy for him to use. I also highly doubt that throwing him into Meursault would have interrupted Fyodor's plans in any significant way, even though Fukuchi seemed to think that it would.

Furthermore, although he currently passes himself off as Russian and has taken on an appropriate alias, he has also claimed to be a "traveling minstrel" without any official affiliations and was suspected of being Roman by Bram's guards... which could also strengthen the connection to his being a "wandering" Jew.

And if we want to stretch it even further, he could possibly be another wanderer: Cain, cursed to roam the Earth for the sin of killing his brother, Abel, with God's mark on him that would prevent him from being killed by anyone else/that would return an injury sevenfold. Which didn't kick in when Ace tried to brain him with a wine bottle, so this is less likely on my list of "possibilities" (a term I use very loosely here, as I don't really think any of them are probable).

Of course, there are also his "last words," which are (allegedly) Jesus' last words when he died on the cross, though I think that is more of Fyodor seeing himself as a Jesus-like figure than him supposed to be representing Jesus. (The Wandering Jew and Cain are already a stretch as they are. 🤣)

[outofangband]

(I have  some more free form Maedhros post Angband thoughts as I work on revising my more detailed trauma posts! As always more can be found in the post Angband and in the iron hell tags!)

There are lots relevant metas I have but I will link these two for now, mostly just for my own organization! x x

Maedhros loses hope in Angband time and time again. He loses it until he does not regain it again.

The prospective of an eternity in such a place is unimaginable to contemplate, especially for an immortal. Maedhros comes to know something as strongly as he has ever known anything; unless he is granted the mercy of death, he is never leaving these walls. He knows his brothers are not coming for him. He knows that there is no one coming for him.

He languishes on that cliffside, in unending agony, lips dry but for the poisoned rain that lashes him. It burns his throat when he drinks it but he still does so. He wants nothing more than death but knows he will never be allowed to die in such a simple way

I think it is nearly impossible to retain a sense of self, at least a consistent one, in these circumstances. To have a sense of self becomes unbearable. If you are conscious, if you are aware, if you are you, you are suffering. As much as possible, Maedhros tries to be detached, to let the endless torment and indignity erode at him until his own names seem foreign and any memories of the past flit in and out of his mind, unacknowledged and as inconsequential as the fractured bits of dream that disappear as you wake.

How do you regain the ability to go through your days after such an experience?

How do you return to eating and sleeping and caring for your horse and writing letters and preparing for war when for decades you wished only for oblivion?

Though of course…Maedhros does. He heals and leads a war, leads the settling of his father’s host throughout Eastern Beleriand, leads negotiations for land and allies. I think Maedhros had no choice in this. After the unspeakable stasis of Angband which denies both freedom, rest and stillness, he cannot stop for even a moment, not until the end.

Two notes:

- I know the Nírnaeth was a disaster but thinking about all of this makes Maedhros’s feeling of Morgoth being not insurmountable just so much more!! And its conclusion so much more devastating

-there are other reasons that he feels compelled to keep going in the efforts in the war, and this is in part because of the view of survivors, and ask prisoners among his people and throughout the continent at the time. I talked about this in a lot of post Angband posts so I won’t ramble on about it too much here, but I think that’s also important. He is acutely aware of how former prisoners are viewed and this is one of the best ways to deflect a lot of that suspicion and hostility that he might get even from his own people. I’ve mentioned that a lot of those who follow him are highly suspicious, and do not trust him both because he’s a survivor and because he abdicated the throne. However, they’re more willing to follow him then his uncle.

I do not mean to mitigate the element of revenge and of the oath, as part of his motivations, to be clear that they are profoundly important but I think about the others too.

(To be clear not justifying the crimes or anything! This is mostly about pre Nirnaeth stuff, it’s still present afterwards but I do not have the spoons to get into autonomy versus the oath and agency at the moment)

[justsomerandomplanet]

Hello! I just wanted to say I absolutely adore all of your art and thank you for all the ancient ones/Heian era content (especially Kenjaku 👀...) I would absolutely love to hear all of your drabbles about it! I have my own stuff too about them but I live for any JJK Heian era stuff lol.

Anyway, mostly wanted to drop by and say thank you for showing us your amazing art ❤️ I look at it every day, it makes me so happy!

Helloooo,

Thank you so much for your kind words!! I'm happy that you enjoy my silly self indulgent art hehe

As for my thoughts on em, I'll put them underneath here so the post doesn't appear too long on the dashboard ^-^

(I'll mostly just share my thoughts on the character dynamics bc I'm not knowledgeable about the actual history of the Heian Era)

Tengen & Kenjaku

Oh where do I even begin!!!

I genuinely believe the two of them are the reason the jujutsu system is the way it is in modern times (more so the former than the latter especially). Although we don't actually know much about what the two were like previously, the implications on their dynamic is so delicious.

For one, I definitely see that they care(d) about each other. The fact Tengen was still aware that Kenjaku was alive and yet still did nothing even though they had prevuously tried to sabotage the merging raises a lot of eyebrows...like why would you let a criminal in the jujutsu history go??? I understand that Tengen's whole thing is that she doesn't interact with the real world anymore, but she can definitely communicate with the other sorcerers to do her bidding when necessary (e.g. telling the sorcerers to let Riko enjoy her youth before the merging while protecting her). On the other hand, Kenjaku always seems to seek out Tengen. Calling her an old friend, always trying to bring her in a conversation, insulting her as if they could get a reaction out of her...oh there's definitely something here that can be explored.

I do believe they had a falling out and that falling out is the reason things have become this way. Tengen's innaction as a way to maintain the status quo (traditions) and Kenjaku's curiosity as a drive to break that status quo (innovation) has led us here. And I do believe Sukuna and Yuuji reflect that too, but that'll be for a different time to ramble on.

Tengen & Immortality

To me, Tengen can feel paradoxical/hypocritical sometimes. She states she did not want to evolve into a higher being yet allows others to treat her like she is one, to protect her and also isolating herself. She often speaks in a way that presents humble but has an arrogance about herself as well (e.g. she is the best barrier user even tho she hasn't really been challenged on it for the past 500-ish years or the merging of star plasma vessels was necessary for the greater good-which is true-but also as a way to maintain herself). She said change in herself was inevitable and detached herself from the real world yet built a foundation in jujutsu that relied on her barriers and did not allow change for like a 1000 years.

Whether or not she meant these things intentionally is hard for me to say bc i don't think Tengen is malicious or means ill-will, but I do think in some way, Tengen is more afraid of change or even death than anyone else and has built a foundation to a society that relies on her existence, leading to a stagnation. I find that fitting that her CT is Immortality, it sorta reflects that don't you think? But like a star, sooner or later, change and death is inevitable.

Tengen, Sukuna, & Kenjaku

These guys had a history. What that history is idk but personally I do believe Sukuna is the youngest out of them. I like to think Sukuna was the pet project of Tengen and Kenjaku. Not necessarily that they're his parents or anything (tho that would be funny) but rather more like...a pupil or a dysfunctional found family dynamic. Sukuna already knows he was an unwanted child but that doesn't mean he didn't have any connections with people growing up. I do think Tengen and/or Kenjaku helped Sukuna in becoming who he is.

Plus, Tengen keeping Sukuna's mummiffied corpse (with the implication that she was the one to do it) and Kenjaku seemingly being the only one able to hold some level of control over Sukuna's head just tells me something is up with those three that screams a psychological power imbalance. Also also, if Tengen had the corpse but the fingers were scattered, when exactly did Kenjaku split his soul? (this is more of a musing more than an actual question. I just think it would be delicious if Tengen allowed Kenjaku to see Sukuna's dead body-which led to the cursed fingers albeit without her knowledge but shrug)

Kenjaku, Love, & Motherhood

Saving da best for last, oh Kenny! I did a lot of rambling on Tengen but tbf there's so very little stuff on her I have more thoughts to share, but Kenjaku is really my favourite character in all of jjk. They're so fascinating, their curiosity driving them but also spite (just like me fr)

No but in all seriousness, Kenjaku is such a fun but sad character. Clearly, whatever happened between them and Tengen led to where they are, which I find fascinating. I know they're doing things cause of curiosity, but sometimes it does feel like they're trying to prove something (namely to Tengen). The implications that they may have grown up lonely, was friends with Tengen but had a break up, and still talks about making friends...AUGHHH

This leading to the theme of motherhood is also great. What's a better way to build a connection and to create innovation than from your own blood. Yuuji may not have a "role" as Kenjaku told Choso, but I think that's the whole point. Maybe Yuuji was made to hold Sukuna or cursed objects, who knows, but Kenjaku purposely letting him develop himself, for better or worst, definitely feels right.

And in a way I do find it enjoyable Yuuji doesn't actually care enough about Kenjaku. Yes he's trying to stop Kenny but there isn't necessarily any personal stakes that he's aware of, and I find that enjoyable for the irony: Kenjaku being so invested in Yuuji yet he won't even see it. Kenjaku, who is clearly obsessed with motherhood, fetuses, and children, cannot even get the attention of their own child.

[nonsense-hours]

Deadlands Finale Meta

putting this under a cut because of spoilers for the whole finale episode, but also because i chronically ramble. my Thoughts about the parallels andy made in this episode, the choices certain players made, and the parts that didn't quite add up properly to me

let's start with one of the fun bits: why didn't any of the rings break when their original wielders were killed? especially the ones where the people who would eventually do the tests (say, nate for death) were there? what changed compared to the first time?

it could just be the deadlands, or having all the rings together in victoria's collection, but i think it's the way each horseman was killed. by design of andy as the marshall, each horseman was killed by their own weapon (metaphorically speaking, mostly)

what do i mean by this? well.

War/Benjamin Bellows

bellows' main obsession as a war avatar is with duelling and slaughtering his enemies. who shoot him in the end? nate, the man he killed in a duel, and delacey, the person who duelled through a tournament to get to him. this is also the most obvious point of andy forcing their hand into playing on the horseman's terms - he set it up so they had to compete in the tournament to kill him

Pestilence/Daisy DuCrow

her pestilence domain is shown in a couple ways, but the most important for us are the hole in her skull and her disease transfer machine. the hole, though it lets her poison bobby, also lets silas shoot her. and the machine is used on her client, but also on daisy herself after she dies in order to revive bobby. her death might be by a bullet, but the situation around it is very ironic in nature

Death/M. T. Boudreaux

the most obvious on our list! as a hangin' judge, he hosts show trials and unfairly sentences people to hang. he's also undead. after a show trial where the gang turns the crowd against him, he fails to kill a harrowed and is hung by the posse. hangin' judges literally have to be killed ironically in order to die

Famine/H. Unger

unger's hunger-causing food literally turns people into the cannibalistic faminite monsters, and what stops her in the end? bison billie chewing off her arm after being infected by one of the faminites. she quite literally creates the thing that kills her, and her famine domain is very closely tied to that downfall - if she hadn't been doing it, she would have lived

Conquest/Victoria

obviously they don't attack her before breaking the other rings, but it's worth briefly noting here that the bounty hunters do very much follow her domain, by killing the other horseman and stealing their power - they're really just conquering the domains of every other horseman for themselves

... moving on

ok! now that's out of the way, we get to the actually interesting bit: what's changed the second time? if the posse didn't defy the domains correctly the first time, how did they definitively do it in the finale? here's how:

Garnet vs Famine

the garnet/famine connection is overall a bit weird to me, but she does prove in her section that she can exist without magic - the "something more" that victoria says she's hungry for - by defeating the ghoul on her own. her leaving the deadlands at the end of the episode also arguably shows this, as she's more powerful there than on earth but leaves nonetheless. not much of a betrayal of "famine" in unger's sense but certainly of how victoria describes her

Nate vs Death

in terms of this.... theory? meta? nate is perhaps one of the less strong points, but his scene with delacey does show him not only overcoming the darker parts of his harrowed nature but also actively threatening to shoot himself. compared to the hangin' judge's obsession with his own righteousness and immortality, it certainly feels like nate is breaking victoria's description of him "overcoming death". he might be undead, but nate very much sees the value of mortal things like a life (and money)

Edie vs Pestilence

my favourite segment of the finale! edie is tied to pestilence by victoria due to her grief, which is like a festering disease or infection. and her segment definitely reflects her growing past that - edie being stuck in a memory, trying to protect a brother who already died, literally hurts both edie and the people around her (garnet). it's only when she puts eddie to rest and looks past that "pestilence" of grief that she can go back to helping the people who matter _now_

Delacey vs Conquest

this is a really nice character moment from delacey, and unlike the others, it seems to be almost entirely on the player rather than andy as the marshall. first, note that delacey's linked to conquest because of his violent & competitive streak, which is especially obvious in dead man's worth. he tries to pull his gun on victoria at the beginning of the episode, and he's previously joked about trying to gain supernatural powers like those nate/garnet possess

but when faced with opportunities for power (victoria's offer) and violence (nate attacking him, harmless victoria), delacey doesn't take them. he's the one who wants to kill victoria, he sits down and lets nate slash his chest open, and he reluctantly lets victoria live even though he desperately wants to see her dead. he denies again and again the option of violent conquest like the kind she encourages.

Re: Silas

... and then there's Silas vs War. or rather, there isn't. because as far as i'm concerned silas doesn't ever get that moment. when face-to-face with bellows (which i also find weird), silas accepts bellows' terms and plays by his rules. they duel, just like delacey & bellows did the first time, and silas shoots his neck (familiar, again), and then he angrily kicks bellows into the wall. there's no denial of that anger victoria saw in silas, no denial of bellows and his methods

compared to his big damn hero moment against boudreaux with his lawman's gun, this just felt weird. and that could just be me overthinking, or the dick bit getting in the way of roleplay (not the first time), or andy not finding another way for silas to "face" war in the finale, but what if it's something else?

silas is initially very quiet in the discussion about victoria's proposal (alongside garnet, who seems more interested in getting the rings' powers than anyone else), and happily admits to her appraisal of him. bellows is also the only one of the horseman who wasn't obviously supernatural in his first appearance, and the only one who comes back physically "alive" in the finale (because he's in service to victoria). through this lens, it feels like there's something very clearly different about silas and bellows than about the other members of the crew.

maybe that's on purpose. maybe silas only really stopped benjamin bellows, and not the horseman of war. would certainly be cool if silas Changed next season :)

(or maybe it's just a writing choice i don't like and i'm going to write an alternate timeline fic about it <3 you never know)

tldr;

the horseman can only be beaten properly when the "new horseman" proves victoria wrong, but silas didn't, and wouldn't it be nice if that paid off somehow

[selamat-linting]

Hello Actually I would like to hear your thoughts on Gin Minowa 😊

well alright you did ask :) but beware this is mostly going to be unstructured rambling.

anyway, her death basically caused the taisha to upgrade the hero system, introducing mankai and giving the girls immortality at the cost of their own bodies, thats the main conflict of the first season of yuyuyu. it drove togou into despair because she lost the memory of her friendship with gin and sonoko and will probably lose her new friends again to a fate worse than death that she's willing to end the world just to stop it all. and we all know how that eventually caused the wedding of the shinju and yuna and basically everything else. also, her death spurred the taisha to actively recruit more girls to be grinded into the hero system, so her death is also responsible for karin to join the hero club and the rest of the sentinel squad to be formed.

like, gin minowa's impact is massive. she's genuinely haunting the narrative. my first exposure of the yuyuyu franchise is the anime, and even without knowing her name, or seeing her grave, the traces of her life and death is everywhere. karin is using her terminal!!! sonoko and togou's entire friendship during the second season hinges on their mutual guilt complex over gin's death. hell, togo does not remember gin at all in the first season, but she knows she lost her and thats enough to kickstart togo's murderous rage and despair.

also thematically, she really is the poster girl of a human sacrifice. i've seen a meta post somewhere about how the shinju and the mankai system can be read as an allegory of how women ultimately commit slow suicide from making themselves small and palatable for the male gaze and doing all of the invisible labour for the sake of patriarchy. and the way yuyuyu keeps portraying in universe that being a hero is a way to protect the country, spesifically using a rather political word like the country, not humanity or life itself, it reminds me a lot of how fascist propaganda present itself to women. conform to the gender binary, fulfill your god given role, sacrifice your body and your life for the sake of your society. it seems familiar. the magical girls are chosen yes, but theyre lambs to the slaughter in the service of the shinju and the taisha (patriarchy metaphor)

disclaimer, im not japanese, and i dont know the behind the scenes trivia or the author or even played the yuyuyu games, so i know im working off partial information and im looking at something with a perspective unlike my own, im well aware i could be wrong and the authors' intentions might be different, but that is what i get from the anime. the metaphor did fell apart towards the last few episodes, especially when we consider the taisha was formed because they have to survive against the apocalypse, they might be a corrupt and fucked up organization that grinds children into an eternal suffering machine but they did try their best against an impossible situation, but overall i do feel like the hero system can be read as a metaphor for gender roles in patriarchy.

back to gin minowa, out of the trio, she seems to be written as the most down to earth / relatable of the two. she's smart and clever, but only when its useful to other people, i.e when she's helping and when she's fulfilling her role as a child soldier. and she never ever blames anyone for anything. nobody ever stops to ask if she has better places to go, nobody ever asks if she's tired from all the help and chores she's required of doing, and she never seems to mind. only smiling and blaming herself for being late and forgetting her studies. its only her friends who actually find out whats going on with her and tried to help her. she is the picture perfect idea of a heroine and the taisha and the shinju took advantage of it and it ultimately killed her. she is the number one proof that this is the bitter end of all magical girls if they let themselves follow the orders thats been given to them. god fucking damn it, theyre all heroes, they's the chosen one, but theyre chosen as a hero the way a lamb is chosen and lead to the slaughter. rip gin minowa you will always be famous 😭

[draconicfool]

in looking into the six-eared macaque from jttw thanks to some prompting, here are my unfiltered rambles about parallels to be found between eros and liu'er mihou

first point of interest i found was in how the macaque and sun wukong have a history but apparently he [monkey] doesn't remember it. my brain immediately went to how eros has this connection to the xianzhou and even the quartet who saved his home and who he fought alongside when he was high elder, but they don't recognize him as who he is.

and then comes the fact that the macaque is supposed to represent the false mind within wukong to the point that he even fuccin mercs the macaque and it's him experiencing the 'true self' iirc that's what that said and how that is very in line w the dichotomy i already try to write with eros.

and how the six ears are a reference to a buddhist proverb and also the sixth sense apparently and that the 'secrets aren't safe with six ears' is kinda apt cuz eros is always being watched by two different fucking aeons so nothing he does is ever technically a secret in that regard

then through looking into it more and watching a video that artemis sent me came parallels not just from liu'er mihou, but from some of the other primates as well! in one there's the fact that the four primates don't fall into the other categories of immortality which is a fun parallel of how eros has essentially been removed from every other being's understanding of long-life or short-life or resurrection entirely because he quite literally cannot die until yaoshi or aha let go of him which probably won't ever happen. and then in sun wukong there's that small parallel of how he can shapeshift and discern advantages of the earth and 'what he does best is violence' which is a very eros thing to me it's got me giggling actually. then the baboon who can avoid death and lengthen its life which comes back to the whole he can't die thing even tho that one isn't his choice. then the gibbon who it's mostly in the 'shortening mountains' where control over the earth is kind of eros' whole thing being the mons grandis looking over the fallow earth and how with use of terrahymn he quite literally manipulates the earth around him as he please

AND THEN WE FINALLY GET TO THE MACAQUE! who is 'nearly omniscient' with sensitive hearing, knowledge of past and future and comprehension of all things. AND WE GET INTO THE FACT THAT THIS IS THE ONE THAT'S THE MOST EROS BC OF ALL THE THINGS WE'VE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT UP THERE BUT ALSO if we're assuming herein because the yuque is the home of the divination commission and that it is 'the heartland of the followers of the wisdom walker' that to an extent eros can also divine things the way that they do, and he has been alive for centuries so he has a comprehension of things people would think that he shouldn't and he is constantly learning more. and while he himself isn't 'hearing everything' he is being told information by people bc of the way his mask operates he can get that out of people and he can be considered even just a little bit 'all knowing' because of how easily he can get ahold of said information

and then we go into again the fact that it is the false self / true self and how the macaque is those 'darkest tendencies' that they are a part of eros that cannot ever be killed and they are just as truly eros as the person he is when he isn't hungry but that finding oneness in himself comes from an acceptance that he cannot give himself ever. also therein of the trapping of the golden alms bowl which reveals the true self very heavily paralleling that eros during his time as shoi-ming, who he truly is, was kept as a prisoner for those darker tendencies to be used 'for the good of the people'

i might entirely be just shooting smoke at this point but i thought it was all very interesting so anyone that knows more is free to correct me and i'd love to hear any thoughts :> thank you for coming to my copy/paste ted talk

[snaill-dragon]

the gods all look amazing and i would love to hear everything about them!! just take this as an excuse to ramble i will read and love all of it. if you want a more specific question though i ask: is melissa some sort of evil god or god of death? they have a much more stereotypically evil look than the others and i'm wondering if that carries over to their personality or domain as well

:))

Okay I’ll start with your question and I’ll go from there:

Yes! You got it in one! Melissa is the goddess of death in this world. I wouldn’t call her evil, she’s actually very nice! I would even call her sweet and playful :p She and the people around her very much encourage celebrating both life and death. She kinda likes messing with people from time to time though.

She also, in my head at least, the goddess who’s closest with mortals in this world.(which still isn’t super close).

Melissa and followers also like. SUPER hate the undead. They think death is something to be respected and is very natural and important.

I just wanted her to have that open chest/heart because I thought it looked cool lol.

Uh, oh. A bit about the others:

Emerald is the goddess of life, and Melissa’s direct counterpart. She and Melissa are super connected and all that. Emerald doesn’t spend a lot of time on the mortal plane, but when she does it’s always to assist people or stop some horrific event. She’s pretty nice too. <3

Iter is interesting because Iter is the god of fate/destiny. They supposedly wrote the fate, or possible fates, of the whole world already and are trying to keep it on track of the ‘best’ one. Iter also has the most ‘organized’ religion in this world behind them. Of course there are direct followers, places of worship, and similar for the other gods. However, Iter’s church has many more houses then the others, and although they are not directly leaders so to speak, head prophets who are the ones to speak with Iter most of the time.

Iter themselves there isn’t much known about them personality wise! But they are, supposedly, trying to help people. (And I as gm, can say I wouldn’t call them evil).

The last known head prophet of Iter was known under title The Lady of white, or The White Lady.

Eie is perhaps the only one of these guys who isn’t good. Their domain is knowledge, sanity, language, curiosity, and similar. They want people around in the sense that they gave everyone sentience(according to religious history in this world), and humanity kind of amuses them to watch. However they really don’t care about people, and defiantly wouldn’t step in to do anything for them without their own reasons/reward from it. Except for their precious little angel baby daughter Marielle(they/them) who can do no wrong in their many many eyes.

Marielle was a semi-immortal figure and human who Eie made originally just because they wanted to see if they could. Then, when they realized they could grant life, dropped off Marielle in Malend and put them in charge there.

Eie hasn’t made any more people because Emerald and Melissa got mad at them for messing with the fragile life death balance by making another immortal. (At least kind of immortal. Marielle doesn’t age or get sick, but they could still die from injury or the like.)

Marielle(somewhat unwillingly) lead Malend until they won’t missing, *checks notes* exactly 41 years ago.

Marielle is one of only 2 direct children of the gods in this world. They do not have another parent. Eie just kind of made them. Like I said, these guys don’t really talk to humans a lot.

Emerald appears to heroes, rulers, or the like in times of need. Helps solve the problem, gives a blessing, and then leaves.

Iter speaks to his prophets through their dreams and that’s about it!

Eie doesn’t really talk to people unless they directly ask for something, and usually it’s a rejection unless it also gives them something.

And Melissa mostly resides in the human realm, but under disguise or away from where people see her. The main person she communicates with is ALSO her kid lol. Amaya, whose job it is to find and eliminate undead in this world.

Amaya’s job used to be pretty simple, until… recent events. (That’s a whole other talk about what this campaign is ABOUT.) when the undead became a lot more uncommon. Alongside other unusual creatures she’ll often put out of their misery.

Uhhh

Oh also Emerald is also the goddess of memory. That’s important.

[charkyzombicorn]

I was reading back through your god au posts and I saw some tags that mention Kalgura and Noland! Please, please share some details because I loved that story!

I can see Noland as one of Robin’s demigods and Kalgura as one of Zoro’s. The two just travel the world together as immortals!

Are Wiper and Cricket around too?

Okay I just got reminded of that and I forgot what plant I wanted Kalgara to be so I decided silver birch and now I'm sad--

I was originally just gonna have them be the same tragic story except now Chestnut and birch trees always grow together but I like your idea more!

Noland was visited by Robin quite a few times, he was incredibly smart and she thought he was interesting. Robin was already figuring out how to convince Noland to be a demigod under her when Noland actually called for her for the very first time, prayed she visit him.

She found him pacing around a jungle she hadn't visited in a very long while. He was incredibly frazzled and asked kept rambling about a man he'd met, before she told him to collect himself. He asked her if his daughter would be happy here. The one still back home, being raised mostly by her great aunt because Noland's work had always taken him away and he didn't expect a child until a past fling of his dropped her at his doorstep. He asked her if he would be crazy to leave his old life behind, if he would be selfish to bring his daughter with him. Robin said it would be selfish, but she was sure Noland's daughter would be beyond happy to have a father or two in her life. And Noland smiled, and thanked her.

The next time she saw Noland, he was in a cell. Robin asked him why and Noland just insisted that the island was there, that Robin had seen it, that it was gone. Then he broke because the only explanation was that it sunk into the sea, with everyone on it. Everyone he had drank and smiled and danced with. Even Kalgara. The trip killed so many, had almost taken his daughter, Noland didn't even think this punishment was unjust, he just wanted them to know that the most amazing place be ever knew existed. That Kalgara was real.

Then Robin told him. He would see Kalgara again, but only if he became a demigod. Noland accepted.

Then, Robin told Kalgara exactly what happened, that Noland was put to death by his own country and only survived by becoming her demigod. That now he was virtually immortal.

And Kalgara wouldn't leave eternity to Noland alone, so he called for Zoro and demand he fight him, and if Kalgara defeated him, he would be given the demigodhood to follow Noland. Kalgara lost. So he challenged Zoro again the second he could stand again. Over and over and over, hundreds of fights a day, for weeks and weeks. Eventually, Kalgara cut across one of Zoro's eyes, and Zoro considered it a win.

And a chestnut tree grew through that entire prison, and a silver birch tree grows with a single pitch black gladiolus.

[nemofil]

i have a LOOOT of hollow knight thoughts because i recently opened up the game and started playing but err. copypasting some analysis(? it's more me rambling and hallucinating a game of connect-the-dots. still fun though)

i also want to mention this post which literally changed my brain chemistry and sort of spurred me to think about lost kin a little bit more. give it a read!

tl;dr: lost kin's inclusion in p4, alongside the general "theme" of the other combatants (the desire to strive/search and attain something, and how it ultimately destroys them, for one) within the pantheon, which strangely seems to coincide with lost kin's own implied themes, makes me think that it's definitely intentional and not just for difficulty's purposes. it's likely that they too, have something to do with this theme of striving/coveting.

(copypasted and edited from my own notebook EJIFSJDF)

i feel like it's interesting that lost kin is in p4, or pantheon of the knight. though, p4 is a mostly "dream bosses" pantheon, it could still hint at something. let's look at its participants (not including lost kin themselves):

enraged guardian

no eyes

traitor lord

white defender

failed champion

watcher knights

soul tyrant

pure vessel

i think they have a connection. an obvious one is how they're all "searching" for something. foraging. trying, but ultimately failing. yeah, that's the one. all of them are striving, reaching for something out of reach. and that is their ultimate downfall.

greed. [enraged guardian is literally described as the god of greed]

the search to avoid the infection, leading to her death.

the search for strength, his downfall, the reason why he became infected.

yearning. waiting, searching for closure. [this one, admittedly, is a bit of a stretch? but... play along shh shh]

the search for power, against his oppressors.

striving to protect their master.

the search for a cure to the infection.

striving to fulfill their purpose, and their father's wishes.

"how does all that play into lost kin being in p4?"

not explicitly- but it could be a hint. i like taking drugs and connecting the dots. a desire/motivation of sorts runs throughout the pantheon, and maybe lost kin has some of their own.

for starters, they are a vessel. so, i think they might share something with pure vessel- the desire to fulfill their purpose, the search to end the infection, turning into a mindless puppet at its hands. waiting for release, for peace- for closure. the downfall of thinkinng you could go toe-to-toe with a furious god, trying, but failing. futility...

regret. anger, resentment, hatred. yearning. i am literally insane. i could be looking too much into it, but i find it interesting how the "participants" of p4 have that theme of striving for a "perfection" of sorts. the perfect, pure vessel, the perfect cure, the perfect immortal life, the perfect life with the now-gone five great knights.

come to think of it, i haven't analyzed p4's flavor text of "seek the pure one". this... could just be referring to pure vessel but i think it could also apply to all the others. seek the pure focus, the pure shell of protection, the pure life with your dear five great knights. but that, i think, is certainly a stretch, even for me, who stretched the shit out of the p4 combatants choices HSHDGDHD

perhaps lost kin too, had their own... ideal to strive for. maybe that's why they're found in ancient basin, a highly obscure area which nobody would go to, unless they had a specific reason to. maybe that's why they also took the time to train to wield their nail semi-efficiently- and also why they died near monarch wings- they were preparing for a battle of sorts.

(side note: the reason this segment existed is because i realized that BV/LK's downward attack move resembles something from their sealed sibling, THK. i think this downward move is just a common nailbearer thing, but if we count lost kin knowing what the dash slash is, we can think that they did train under oro for a short while, and learned this move from him as a sort of "extra curriculum lesson" or something.)

perhaps lost kin was also searching for something. that call from up above, by either their sealed sibling, the light infecting them, or their own will. maybe they too, were beckoned, just like our little ghost.

we can be certain though, that lost kin was waiting for something. they were waiting for peace, to be released from the state you find them in, released from the blinding grasps of the radiance's light.

and maybe, they too, are rooting for you, waiting patiently for your victory against that forsaken god of light. and they help you one last time, giving you a load of dream essence, so you can truly know this kingdom's past, so you can unlock and learn everything you need to know. and then, maybe you can finally beat that damned moth into eternal obscurity.

they wish you luck. they hope you'll accept what little they have to offer.