#mostly joy though

[bo-an-aro]

aro joy, to me, is first and foremost the profound relief in being able to enjoy my own company. the never needing a life partner by my side to feel content. I'm so grateful for that ability.

my mom was the biggest romantic I've known. she fell in love with my dad in her early twenties and never stopped. she died in her early fifties from complications related to alcoholism - my dad never really loved her back, is the thing. he left when I was two.

I spent over two decades watching her suffer from that heartbreak, watching her try and fail over and over with men who never deserved her, developing traumas of my own from realizing so early in life that I was never gonna be enough to keep her happy. my love wasn't The One True Love. I couldn't save her no matter how hard I tried. and man, I tried.

my love grew complicated. it grew teeth.

I tried to protect her and I had to bury her. the aftermath was years spent in a fog, dragging my feet. all battle-forged apathy and caged animal rage, taking turns. grief is the price we pay for love. it can be hard to spot any difference between the two in the end.

I've clawed my way out now. I miss her, and I'm still angry. I'm never gonna stop being angry. but I'm also grateful. I'm also relieved.

my aro joy is finding a new apartment only big enough for me and a pet or two, leaving behind the place that still reserved spaces for a ghost.

my aro joy is carrying my friendships in cupped hands to keep them warm, or in my breast pocket for safe-keeping, for going-with. it's a gentle longing to bridge a gap, but also adoring from a distance and having that be enough. it's wishing plane tickets were cheaper.

my aro joy is the crucial difference between a need and a want. it's experiences not feeling lesser in the absence of company. it's knowing I was never a half, always everything. it's having my people always be welcome, but never required. my aro joy is having no one to impress, not like that. it's being able to leave the house without making sure I'm looking my best, always, just in case. it's the amusement of watching friends root through their closets, frantic, because what do they wear? it's the remembering that even in my teens, years before I carved the word aromantic into the tree reserved for initials in a heart-shaped enclosure, I always asked why they even bothered, it's not like anyone's worth all this fuss. my aro joy is my purpose in life being solely for me to decide, never the subject of someone else's opinions. my canvas is not for others to stain. I buy my own paints. I capture my own sunsets. my aro joy is being honest when I see a romantic pair go about their life and think good for them. it's being equally genuine when that thought is followed by another that says I'm glad to be different. my aro joy is having my dog's leash in one hand and freshly-picked wildflowers in the other. it's knowing no one is waiting up when I walk him at night because he's reactive and I'm really not that fond of crowds either. it's staying out even later because we got caught in a summer deluge and it never rains that hard here, we're not missing this for the world. it's having him leave muddy pawprints on the floor and laughing without fear of waking anyone up as I towel him dry. my aro joy is having so many beautiful memories to lean on when I need them, and knowing that the only person who stands in the way of me making more is myself. my aro joy is being single in my thirties, willing to share my space only with pets and friends, and happier than I've probably ever been. despite everything.

[beebfreeb]

I got curious about the difference between the English dub and original Japanese voice acting...

[averlym]

litany of the martyrs (click for better resolution!)

[dimsilver]

:)

[miraitrunks]

hello my dearest little junks nation. i’ve recently set up a redbubble (click for link) with a few art pieces as stickers in case any of you want my niche stuff 👉🏼👈🏼 i don’t expect anyone to buy anything if i’m being quite honest just because the stuff i make is already like super specific LOL but i have turned a few of them into stickers/magnets/buttons etc so please if you’re interested go take a look!!! i hope to add more in the future as i continue to color more things <3

[victorluvsalice]

Hello all -- it's New Sims 4 Build Day here on Victor Luvs Alice this Wednesday! And I am showing off a build that I've been working on in some form or another for a good while, and which I'm rather proud of -- my new Ministry Of Joy Nightclub! Which, as you might guess, was inspired by The Smiler roller coaster over in Alton Towers. XD Specifically, this thing started life as an attempt to build what I thought like the Ministry Of Joy would look like in the Valicer In The Dark universe, but ended up morphing into this after I thought it would be fun to make it into a nightclub Sims could visit. Let me take you on a little tour:

-->The exterior of the build is based off the basic shape of the actual The Smiler coaster's station (which was SURPRISINGLY hard to find to find pictures of -- fortunately I found some videos on YouTube of the old The Smiler mobile game that had a virtual recreation of the coaster and its station that I could look at to get an idea of the shape) -- though I did change the color scheme, as the actual building is gray for some reason instead of black. It does have pipes like that on the front though! I went with a fancy Art Deco front door because it had one of the best black-and-yellow color schemes, and of course I had to slap a yellow security camera above it. XD I also put that weird spire thing atop it just because I liked it -- it felt right, is all I can say!

-->The first floor is mostly taken up by a big old dance floor (which I sized up a little bit just so it would properly take up the space), with a bar area near the front of the building; a big five-stall bathroom at the back to the left, behind the stairs to the second level; and a "chill-out" space in the weird extra room attached to the back right corner. As you can see, things are aggressively yellow and black in here. XD Though I did make sure to put some extra color in with various paintings and neon lights and such! Anything that was bold and bright and interesting. :) For a few more specific notes:

A) The area behind the DJ booth is a little dark because I was trying to use lights that wouldn't completely wash out the neon lights on the walls over there -- it's a little brighter when the laser light shows are going in Live Mode!

B) The bathroom is so big because I originally had a little side area in it for a diaper-changing station and a toddler potty, complete with its own sink -- I eventually decided that it wasn't particularly likely you would have such things in a nightclub and got rid of it, which allowed me to fit in two extra stalls. Hey, at least your Sims will never have to wait for a bathroom in this build!

C) The "chill-out" room was originally the "worship" room when I was building this as the home of the Valicer In The Dark Advocates (there was one of those weird twisty modern art statues in there with a bunch of chairs around it to represent Mar-Mal), but after I changed the theme of the place, I decided that I wanted it to play host to a couple of bubble blowers. Because the Advocates seem like bubble blower people. XD I ended up adding incense and a couple of meditation poofs for more things to do in here, and because they fit the vibe of this being a place where Sims can chill if they need to. Also, the yellow stripes in this room are the glowing Spa Day walls, because I really wanted to use them SOMEWHERE, and this seemed like the best place. XD Same with the glowing tiles underneath the statues in the corners of the room.

D) Oh, and almost all the interior lights are sized-down rec center lights from Growing Together because they looked vaguely spiraly. Gotta keep on-brand!

-->Up on the second floor, we have an arcade room and a karaoke room, because I like giving my Sims things to do at community lots and those seemed like fun rooms to have! Though, given the lack of actual arcade machines in unmodded Sims 4, I ended up making the arcade a bit more of a general "games room," with a foosball table and a table games table to fill out the area along with the big games machine and the virtual reality gaming mat. The karaoke room also ended up getting a popcorn maker because I really wanted it to have some snacks available, and popcorn seemed like the best bet.

-->And as for the roof surrounding the second floor...well, I took a look at all that empty space and went "I need to do something with this." So I turned the little "balcony" at the front into a hang-out space with spiral-themed loungers, a drinks tray, and a telescope, scattered some benches and a chess table around the place --

And set up a whole hot tub party area in the back above the chill-out room! Because who doesn't like a cool hot tub party area? Especially one with loungers, another drinks tray, an ice cream machine, and a busking area? Oh, and the most fun outdoor lights on a string that I could find? :p Advocates never do party time by halves, after all!

-->As for lot traits, I went with Party Place (because look at it, this place was made for parties), Convivial (because of course the Advocates would want everyone to feel like they can get along with everyone else), and University Student Hang Out (...because I honestly wasn't sure what else to put on the lot and this way the drinks are cheaper XD).

So there you have it -- the Ministry of Joy, ready to help your Sims on the path to happiness! It's up on the Gallery if you would care to check it out, under my user ID AliceNVictor -- you can also find it under "#thesmiler" if you prefer to search by hashtag. It is one of my patented "uses fifty million packs" builds, but hopefully it can find a home in your game anyway. :P Enjoy -- next week, robots!

[popotobun]

WIP Wednesday!

Lately I've been working most on my SVSSS fic that's basically a "What if Shen Yuan was a little older and a little more competant". That's it, that's the fic. I have zero idea where it's going to end up, but I've got two chapters worth scribbled down, so that's something! I've also got an outline for a Tangled-inspired Liushen AU that I don't want to start because once I do, I think I'll keep going until it's done and I want to get more done on the longer fic first xD

I've still got plans for the post-MLC fic I'm working on! I really should finish that, since it doesn't have anywhere to go and should just be the one chapter... Who knows. I let words get away from all the time.

I've still got a couple of FF14 WIPs too, though the MSQ follow-along will always be slow going... I do want to finish the Dark Knight fic, but my WoL was in a Not Good headspace when he started that, so it's on a back burner too.

Feel free to Ask me to work on any of these and I'll post a new paragraph~ but either way, enjoy the snippet!

The entire night passed while he read, the morning only making itself known to Shen Yuan when a knock sounded at the entrance to his room and Ming Fan’s voice announced, “Shizun, I left breakfast at the table for you. Please let this disciple know if there is anything further needed.”

“Nothing but privacy, Ming Fan. I am only to be disturbed by meals for the next three days.” While he recovers is not spoken aloud, but carried in the silence that he lets linger a moment longer than it needs to. “Unless another Peak Lord requires my presence.”

Ming Fan bowed and started to leave after confirming the instructions, but was stopped by Shen Qingqiu’s voice adding, “Perhaps I will meditate in the gardens today. If I am not here, let it be known that I am unavailable for company.”

That should cover most possibilities. He was sure Mu Qingfang wouldn’t be back by so soon, but he couldn’t say the same for anyone else. With the worry from Yue Qingyuan that Mu-shidi had mentioned or potential curiosity as to his recent visitors, anyone could come by! And he didn’t want them seeing him practicing basic sword forms like someone who’d never held a sword before.

Since that was exactly what he planned to be doing.

After breakfast of course.

[radi0dontt]

Fisheye Lens

ao3 link

xB has carried a camera around for years, taking pictures to collect memories. xB is now alone on the Hermitcraft server.

xB took a step back, having to tilt his head up to fully take in the sight of the, honestly kind of ridiculous storage solution. 

For some reason, one of them had pitched that the best early game storage solution available to them, was a colossal chest about 15 blocks tall and wide in the middle of their sky base. 

xB would like to blame Hypno for the idea, but he thought that Hypno should be blamed for most things. So what did he know. 

He cracked a smile and started to dig through his inventory for something. 

Hypno, once he himself had finished laughing at the stupidly oversized chest, glanced over his shoulder to watch xB curiously. 

Eventually, xB pulled out what he had been looking for, what was essentially a modified polaroid camera. He held it up in victory. 

“Hold on, I’ve gotta take a picture of this thing.” 

Hypno burst into laughter again, running to stand in front of the chest. “Get me in it, for scale!”

xB backed up a few more blocks on the stone path sticking out from the central platform. He messed with all of the cameras buttons and bits until he had the shot he wanted lined up. 

He hadn’t put too much thought into it, the whole height of the chest and a waving Hypno peeking out at the bottom. The endless void of their skyblock world stretched out in the background. 

As it instantly developed, he glanced between the image and what he could currently see. Hypno had returned to intermittent bouts of laughter at the sheer scale, instead of posing for the camera, but the picture had captured most of the moment.

The clouds kept rolling across the sky, and they continued to laugh. 

He had tucked the photo away, and they had moved on. 

———

“Hey, want a picture?”

xB teased, switching his sword for the familiar camera that he dragged between servers. Beef rolled his eyes, readjusting his now dented iron helmet on his head. The camera was visibly old now, covered with half-peeled stickers and stories, but it was waterproof and sturdy, the cyan colour only slightly faded with time. 

“Oh yeah, great, to commemorate this occasion. I definitely want to remember this.” Beef teased back, huffing a laugh. He was well accustomed to xB taking his random pictures. He had long since accepted that it was just one of those things about xB, everybody had a thing or two. Who was he to judge, he had slightly bigger problems right now anyway.

With a sigh, Beef gave his best smile and thumbs up to the camera. He had the very distinct, disheveled look of someone that had definitely just been blown up by a creeper on the first day.  

It took all of xB’s willpower not to start laughing again as he and Beef huddled around the picture in the tiny, terribly lit deepslate hut, to get a look under the torchlight. 

That was his first picture of the season actually, he realised as he put it safely in his inventory.

He would call Beef around by the end of the season, show him the picture again, they would get to look back and laugh. 

———

But Hypno wasn’t here anymore, and he hadn’t seen Beef. He hadn’t seen anyone. 

He stared up at the rift, glassy purple coating the whole cave with a slight tinted purple glow.

Staring wasn’t doing anything. It hadn’t done anything, and it would continue to not do anything. xB knew that, rationally, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. 

His friends were on the other side, wherever that led to, and he could do very, very little about it. 

———

“I’m not gonna talk to you for a week!”

Keralis crossed his arms, stomping away through the sand, turning his back to xB dramatically. 

“A whole week!” Keralis continued as xB giggled, already fishing for his camera in his inventory. 

“Seven whole days.” Keralis turned back to look at xB, his pout breaking into a wide grin. “Princess! Are you taking pictures of me?”

xB had the little cyan camera raised, the harsh desert sun illuminated Keralis clearly in his view. He was almost glowing. 

“Well if I’m not gonna see you for a week I’ve gotta make this moment last.”

———

xB held his camera tightly as reached the edge of his starter base and dropped off, unceremoniously, into the water surrounding the platform.

With a splash he let himself sink. The world muffled briefly and turned blue as he watched bubbles rise to the surface. 

He blinked, and for a moment he swore he could see wide eyes staring down at him. Keralis leaned over the edge of his base, looking down. 

But spawn was empty, the shopping district was empty. The lake was empty too, his conduit was taking care of that, and his base was very, very empty. 

He swam back to the shore, camera in hand, tail pushing him lazily through the water.

———

He naturally retreated to the back of the group as Grian started his speech to announce the already-obvious winner of the turf war. 

xB didn’t really care who won though, they had all had fun, that was what mattered to him. He glanced around at the other hermits and knew he wanted a picture of this. 

The whole group was smiling, clearly tired from all of the games, but it was the good kind of tired. xB felt it too. 

He turned around and messed with his old camera, quickly holding it up to snap a picture of the whole group, the score board already half lit-up in the background. 

The click of his camera wasn’t heard through the laughing and cheering and joking of the crowd. He nestled the produced image into his hoodie pocket and tuned back in for the rest of Grian’s speech. 

False was stood to his right, and… and Etho to his left? Or cub? 

The rest of the memory dissolved into fuzziness, the details melting into hazy laughter, cheering and fireworks. 

xB was left staring at the picture clutched in his hands. Water had dripped down onto it, now distorting the image itself. He blinked. It didn’t clear.

His hoodie was wet, the same as his hair and fins, dripping water onto the deepslate floor and into a small puddle at his knees. 

All of his polaroids were scattered in front of him. 

xB was alone. 

He knew that he was alone. xB had been alone before. He knew how to be alone. He would go so far as to say that he was actually very good at it. 

One of the things about being alone, xB had noticed - and because he was so good at being alone, he would guess that he was right - is that it really took a while until you realised it.

xB knew that he was alone, but he hadn’t really known until he had crawled back to his base, soaking with river water, and sifted through pictures that stared back. 

He didn’t know what he was looking for. The pictures stared back with smiles and laughter. A line dangling bait in front of him, of a place he could never go back to. A time he could never have back, distorted in his memory. Friends he might never get back. 

———

The raft swayed gently with the movement of the ocean. 

One of the things about being out at sea, xB knew, is that you were always, very, very alone. 

[homosociallyyours]

...

[kellystar321]

@rhinoyo MY BELOVED LEMMY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! lots of love!! <33

[salarymanwaka]

happy new year everyone..!!! ( ^ 0^)/ i was planning to post something a little more impressive, but instead all i found in the house was this pair of strange little rabbits. after reading the mysterious inscriptions on their backs, it seems that the red one promotes good health and helps people to achieve their goals, while the white one bestows wealth and absorbs your bad luck. i hope together they will bless you with a wonderful year ahead!

[greyeyedmonster-18]

Do you know if Chef’s Kiss I think it was called (sorry!) will ever be back up 😭🥲?

hii!!

thank you for asking and for caring about my first born child. at this time, i cant anticipate if it will be back up or not! the best i can give is a half-hearted mayybe..??????

xoxo

[kiliinstinct]

Hi hope you’re doing ok ; I seen your crack ships and omg yess !! You got me shipping them especially Cobra x levy and I can’t forget Levy x gray !!

it’s so rare to find content of levy crack pairing ; is there any crack pairing you ship Gajeel with ? I ship Gale but if we’re talking about crack pairings then Gajeel x Lisanna , Gajeel x Mira , Gajeel x Minerva I found really cute /interesting ^^

So I am currently in a car with very little reception for the next 5 hours (and have been in the car for 3 hours so far.) So lets see how fast I can answer this. :p

Hi. Yes. Thank you!

The amount of excited I get to chat about my Levy rarepairs is INSANE. Smiled so damn much. Cobra/Levy, Freed/Levy and Rogue/Levy are my top three. I can play with ideas for hours!

As for Gajeel- there are a few ships Ive got. Not as many as I have with Levy but I can list them here: Gajeel/Juvia (either intense platonic brotp or an otp). Gajeel/Laxus. Gajeel/Cobra. Gajeel/Lucy. Gajeel/Cana. Gajeel/Minerva tickles my "toxic pair" sensors that gives my brain interesting ideas to roll through so it can be shipped too. Lol.

[hiddenbeks]

anyway i think the staph infection did something to my brain bc i stopped caring abt dr//agon ag///e

[wraithsoutlaws]

Honestly I'd like to ask you about the thought behind all of Dagger's design cus it's so fuckin' sick and your art is sick (I'd buy an art book of Ur art) I'm like actually slightly ignoring the ask prompt thing u reblogged so I hope you don't mind but do Dagger's tattoos have any meaning? They're all very cool and I'm going to stop talking now before I ramble about how sick (positive) your art is

aaaaaAh omg i don't mind at all this made me so happy :') thank you so much i'm!! really flattered and happy you like 'em!! there is some meaning behind some of them, and some of them are just a little silly. i've also been in the process of actually trying to fully finalize them (they've sort of been ~up in the air~ for a long time/subject to change)

his most important tattoo is the heart/snake/dagger on his torso:

i've messed with the look of it a lot. originally the dagger went straight up his torso, but i think the angled placement works a little better. the right side is still a WIP, but it's probably more in line with what i want (partially because he's /also/ supposed to have a really big "M" shaped scar that covers his torso as well, and i think it looks really messy with all these elements running vertical on him which is why it hardly makes it into my art). ANYWAY, this one is meant to signify his self-transformation into the "Dagger" persona. the heart in the middle is representative of his humanity, or who he once was as a child. the snake is who he grew into and what generally harbors a lot of his self-hatred and guilt (which is sort of another post worth of Lore so I won't go there rn), and the knife represents who he makes himself, choosing to kill the other parts of who he is and severing himself from the past (including that humanity and guilt). It's his self-made rebirth, no longer beholden to the cycles and feelings of the person he used to be. the "unkillable" beneath the handle is a newer addition, but it's just edgelord enough that i know he'd have it. in a sense, he's killed himself already and now nobody else gets the pleasure of doing so.

now the rest of his tattoos are just kinda stupid and that's why i love them.

the "FVCK" tattoo on his left arm was the first one he got and he gave it to himself stick-n-poke style when he was 16.

the abomination on the right hasn't made it into artwork yet because i'm constantly changing my mind of where i want it. most likely it's on his left shoulder blade and it's pretty self-explanatory. the man loves cigarettes. he got this one in his late teens when he was riding with a group of smugglers between texas and mexico, drunk in front of a campfire, and of course, smoking. (it's worth mentioning that i haven't gotten tattoo mods for him, and though he keeps a big portion of the vanilla tattoos on the front, none of the back piece is canon for him.)

he has a rat king on his thigh (also self-explanatory), as well as cockroach's little rat prints running up the side of his leg.

the last Definite tattoo he has is a small scorpion on his back (as reference to the scorpion and the frog. dagger's in a constant cycle of self-destruction. he's both the scorpion and the frog).

[sagetheenbymage]

I need to pick up ukulele again, bc I used to play it and now I’m missing it