#mostly cause i allowed myself to be a lil bit more creative with their looks

[cherrysodabear]

✨️The punkrock freddies!🎸

[itsakpopalypse]

Fall Asleep To Wake You Up

Here’s a cute lil fluffy one shot to help myself keep creative. 

Leedo/Reader Fluff  Friends to lovers, 

Leedo falls asleep on a skype call with you, and it leads to an accidental confession.

Warnings : Kissing? Implied Smut but no smut. Mostly fluff and confessions.

You bit your lip while Leedo spoke as you face timed from far away. You were visiting family and he missed you, so here you were, laying in bed on your tummy, feet kicking in the air in your childhood bedroom while he regaled you with tales of daily life without you there, filling you in on the most mundane detail of his day. He found your little wiggle of your toes behind your socks more adorable than he would like to admit, so enamored with your smiles that he could burst.

He was far from ready to let you hang up, but with jet lag and time difference you were fading FAST. He postponed the inevitable for a while, before asking if you’d like to rest. You resisted, insisting you weren’t even that tired and there was much he had left to tell you… There really wasn’t but he would let that slide because he didn’t want to miss a moment of  your face. 

2 days wasn’t long, but it was long for him. It was only a matter of time before you fell asleep on him, and your heavy eyelids certainly did show it fast approaching.

Leedo laughed when your head bobbed, calling you cute under his breath, cheeks feeling hot from his affection for you. The affection you were strictly NOT to know about…

When he started informing you about how a customer had complained about missing a part… that they themselves lost, your little smile had faded and your chin had rested upon your arm, you slowly slipped into slumber, quiet, peaceful, sweet. 

He smiled fondly at the depth of your restful breathing, stared at your eyelashes as they fluttered above your cheeks, truly soaked in the moments he could stare at you without you wondering if he was okay.

He loved to appreciate you for everything you were outside and in, and felt so rarely able to do so without causing you suspicion. 

You still didn't know. You didn't  know that he saw you laugh and it made his heart happier than it's ever been. You didn't know that when you'd drop by with a pizza and a smile that he wanted to invite you in  with kisses and cuddles. 

You didn't know the way your tears tore him apart every time you got your heart broken by someone who didn't deserve you.  You didn't know, and he didn't want you to. 

What you had together was enough, most  days. He got to comfort you on sad days and laugh with you on glad ones. He got to hear things that excite you and irritate you.  Being your closest friend was enough.  It really was…  except when it wasn’t, like just now, when the soft mumble of his name passed through your sleepy pout. It made his heart do flips and his mind race.

What were you dreaming of, really?

His yearning for you overwhelmed him at moments like this.  Or when you'd show up in work clothes and commandeer his tee shirt to get comfortable. Seeing you wrapped in himself was nearly more than he could handle.

He wished he knew how to ask you if friends was all you'd ever be, but feared  his feelings would burden you, take away the freedom you felt to be just so perfectly you in his presence. 

Sometimes you'd climb into his lap and say his chest was more comfortable…. You couldn't possibly know how it made his skin light on fire, the way his heart would jump into his throat in elation.  He didn't want you to know, so you didn't. 

His own tiredness hit, and after glancing  around, he set the phone on bed beside him,  using the second pillow to prop it up so he could roll onto his side and fall asleep with your face in front of his… so he could pretend just once that the soft sound of your sleeping was you being beside him.  

When dreams took him deeper, he didn't hear the click of the door to his bedroom.

-----

Sitting in the airport with his heart in his throat, butterflies overwhelming him, Leedo looked down at his hands to distract himself. Keonhee and Xion had traveled along today, and they were whispering back and forth over a picture on Keonhee’s phone. Leedo squinted, having a feeling the pair must be up to no good. “What?” He finally asked, leveling his gaze to his two friends. 

“I’m just showing Xion here how you slept with Y/N.”  Keonhee was smiling wickedly, tilting his phone towards Leedo so he could see the picture. It was him, eyes shut, on his side facing the pillow that had his phone propped up against it, and there, eyes shut in peaceful slumber, was you, and his arm was outstretched like he was trying to touch you. 

The embarrassment that flooded Leedo’s veins was palpable in air as he tried very hard not to let it turn into anger. He turned to Keonhee and in a too calm voice to say. “We didn’t… it’s not. Don’t make it sound so.. Suggestive.” He tried to convey with his eyes that the subject needed to end there, but something in the exchanged look between the two men made him feel like it must not really be over. 

He didn’t have time to be afraid though, because he heard your shout of his name and a smile was already breaking out onto his face. 

You ran at him, and he was already opening his arms to catch you. You did a little hop of joy into his hug, giggling as he picked you up into the air and swung you gently in his strong grasp. 

When he finally released you, something he was not excited to do, as he was enjoying your warmth and familiarity- you turned to the other two to give out warm hugs and greetings.

All seemed normal as you talked about your family and younger cousins and insisted you had brought little gifts back with you, which kept the flow of conversation going long after baggage check and loading into the car. Somehow, you were all packed in and he was driving you home. 

He could feel your eyes on him as he drove though, you were glancing from him, to the road and back again, the edge of the bottom of your lip pulled between your teeth. He knew all your little habits and what they meant, and this one meant you were hiding something, something you were excited about.

“What?” He asked when your gaze flicked to his for the 10th time in as many minutes.

“Nothing. I just missed seeing you up close.” You said, and it made heat rise to his cheeks and ears with renewed fervor. Surely you had to know how it would affect him right? No. Of course not. You couldn't know. You were just being your usual endearing self.

“Stop.” He mumbled. “They’re going to-”

“I TOLD YOU THEY SLEPT TOGETHER.” Keonhee shouted, pointing up to the front of the car just as your hand snaked across the center console to ghost your fingers over the top of his thigh. You pulled back, startled.  

“What?” You half turned your body to look back at them. “What are you saying?”

Keonhee proudly produces his phone, the picture of Leedo sleeping with the phone, you on the screen as he was turned towards you. “I didn’t catch it on recording but he was mumbling in his sleep too. You guys want to tell us what’s REALLY going on or not?”

Confused, your brow furrowed and you looked back and forth between Leedo, who’s hands now gripped the wheel so tightly his knuckles were fully white, and Keonhee, who was smirking and nudging Xion. 

The pair, especially Keonhee were constantly teasing Leedo, and he would normally fight back, so you weren’t sure why this time it seemed to agitate him, jaw working and muscles on the side of his face flexing. This wasn’t normal levels of annoyance…

You didn’t want to upset him more, especially in front of the other two, so you cut a very decisive “Enough.”  Glare and went back to chatting with Leedo as though nothing changed. He still responded stiltedly, but he seemed to allow a little of the tension to roll out of his neck and shoulders.

Satisfied that you could appease him later, you changed the subject

----

He dropped the other two off on the way to your place, insisting it was faster- it definitely wasn't but you weren’t going to question him, he probably just wanted alone time. 

The journey from their place to yours tacked an extra 25 minutes onto the drive, but you filled it with comfortable conversation. It never seemed like it was hard to find something to discuss together. The air was still tight, like the anxiety he carried physically floated between you. You wanted him to feel better.. Anything for him to feel better. 

While he carried your bags up the stairs your hands brushed and you could have sworn he swallowed hard when it happened, before rushing off. That was unusual, normally your touches were so common and more affectionate, why would he behave like he’d been burned?

You watched as he set your bag in your room for you, asking if you wanted it beside the dresser. You replied that it was fine. He stared with his back to you, at the several frames on your dresser of the two of you together, and the one of just him laughing you’d snuck at the park a couple of months back, he was turning over his shoulder to smile at you and when he realized you were taking his picture he’d begun giggling.

“That’s my favorite  picture of you.” You say, smiling softly. He still didn’t turn around. 

“Mine is that one.” He points to the one where he is holding you bridal style and you are laughing so hard your eyes crinkle. He’s smiling too, and gazing down at you. One of the boys had taken it while he was squatting you in some silly dare. 

It was a good day. A bright one. And it had been one of the ones that had dragged you into emotional turmoil regarding your very close friend.  This visit home though, had put the last nail in your coffin. You were fully in love with him. So in love that you could barely stand it. You weren’t sure if you SHOULD say anything, especially with how uncomfortable he seemed to be right now… maybe you should just wait? You’d planned on telling him when you got back but this tension was so visceral. 

You tried to move in front of him to catch his eye, leaning your butt against the dresser as you tilted your head to get him to look at you.

“Hey. Leedo. It’s okay, what they said in the car, you know? It was just a joke and it doesn’t mean anything.”

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say, briefly, sorrow washed across his face, his nostrils flared before he looked at the ground and shook his head. “What if… what if I want it to mean something?” 

His voice was so small, so very quiet that you had to lean in to hear him. After realizing what he said you felt a bit of shock, before a soft smile pulled at your lips…

“It could, if you want it to.” You say back just as quietly, just as gently, trying not to spook him. 

This startled him, his eyes shot to yours, hardened and piercing. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.” He began, stepping towards you with intent. 

His face, the expression, it was very different from usual, and it lit  tingles of excitement under your skin, biting your lip to conceal your grin, you shook your head innocently. 

“When have I ever said things I don’t mean, in all the time you have known me? Especially something like this?”

He paused just as he reached you, backing you up until your butt hit the dresser hard, hands locked on either side of your body as he leaned, his mouth centimeters from your own as he spoke in that low voice that stirred warmth within your belly. “If you mean it, then you know what’s coming next?” His voice somehow commanding and gentle at once. You swallowed, his hot breath was ghosting over your lips and his eye contact burned. 

“I know.” Was all you had to say for his lips to crash into yours. Gentle at first, feeling you out, he softly pulled your bottom lip into his mouth and nibbled before releasing. He didn’t press in too far, just held you there, breathing against you with his eyes shut so tightly. His heart was hammering, you could feel it pressed against you. 

You were hungry for more, cupping his chin as you dragged his mouth against yours with more force, introducing your tongue to entice him.

Oh, and it worked. He let out a rumble, gripping your hip on one side as the other hand gripped the hair at the base of your neck, tangling into it as he pulled you in like he’d consume you. The passion of his mouth was so electric. How long had you two wasted time? 

After a frenzied kiss, he pulled back enough to catch his breath, foreheads touching. 

“I love you. Y/N I love you, I have loved you and I can’t stop. Please tell me that this is something more than a kiss to you?” His voice fervent and thick with emotion. 

You forced him to look at you and smiled, brushing your thumb over his cheek.

“I love you, while I was away I was struck because I missed you so much… enough to realize that this wasn’t just friends.” 

He swallowed and nodded. “Okay.” was all he said before latching his lips to yours again with renewed passion, gripping under your butt as he deposited you onto the dresser top. His hands worked their way up your body and just under the base of your shirt, skimming his thumbs over the bottom of your bra before groaning into your mouth.

When you cupped him through his jeans he made a sound that you had never heard before, so guttural and animalistic that a shiver ran down your spine. He pulled away from your mouth, looked down at your hand on him and then back up at your face, chest heaving. 

His eyes held the question and you smiled back and nodded. “Yes Leedo, we waited long enough, don’t you think?”

He looked at you as though you were an angel, mouth falling open before he nodded, scooped you up and deposited you on the bed, pushing you down with a devilish little smirk. 

“Too long. We were silly, and I have a lot of orgasms to catch up on for  you.” He winked before sliding between your legs down the bed until he was eye level with your pelvis, gripping your waistband. “Guess it’s best for you to just relax, we’re going to be here a while.” 

You gulped and gasped right before his hands pulled. You knew he’d make it worth the wait.

----

 Soft light of the sun rise made your skin glow and Leedo smiled down at you tucked into the crook of his arm against his bare chest. You were a disheveled, absolute mess, but you were radiant, and so perfectly HIS now, finally. You stirred lightly, snuggling deeper into his embrace before he realized that you had now slept together twice, and waking up to you was the best thing he had done, but that he had plenty more mornings like this ahead. 

The smile that broke out on his face was so large it hurt, but here you  were finally together. 

It had taken falling asleep to wake you both up. 

It had been worth the wait.

[queensofrap]

The Year of Cardi B - She went from stripping to becoming the breakout star of 2017. So what's she worried about?

Cardi B is butt-naked in the doorway of her hotel bathroom, yelling about her vagina. On a mid-October evening, she's readying herself for a college show in Baltimore, and the toiletries provided by the hotel aren't to her liking. "That soap gave me the yeast infection of 2017!" she hollers in her thick Bronx accent. "My pussy was burnin' like a Mexican taco!"

It takes all of 10 seconds in Cardi B's presence to be reminded of the sheer force and hilarity of her personality. Simply being Cardi B, at maximum volume, made her a star – first on Instagram, then on the VH1 reality show Love & Hip-Hop: New York – before she'd recorded any music at all, let alone knocked Taylor Swift from the top of the pop charts with the sly swagger of her single "Bodak Yellow." She is the people's diva – or "the strip-club Mariah Carey," as she once rapped – unfiltered in a way the world often doesn't allow female stars to be. In a culture reshaped by streaming and social media, where the kids, without much corporate nudging, get to decide who the stars are, Cardi B is what you get.

Yesterday, Cardi turned 25.
 She took a rare day off, hanging
 with her entire family – sister, parents, cousins – at her mother's house. But she missed her boyfriend (now fiancé), Offset of Migos, who was touring in Australia. "I was sad, because it's like, 'Oh, my gosh, I'm not getting no dick on my birthday,'" says Cardi, whose bedazzled acrylic nails are decorated with tiny reproductions of Offset paparazzi shots. "But I wasn't going to get dick on my birthday anyway, because I got my period."

She finds a cleanser she can deal with and hops into the shower, before slipping into a bright-red spacesuit-inspired Milano di Rouge jumpsuit, complete with a yellow patch that reads "Safe sex saves lives," part of the designer's anti-HIV initiative. She glances at it and arches her eyebrows. "Girl," she says, "I don't even use a condom."

It may not seem like it, but this is actually a newer, more cautious Cardi B. After a few social-media controversies – including when she was justly called out for a since-deleted tweet that referred to Kim Jong Un as "Won Tung Soup" – she is trying to learn to hold back a bit. "I used to tell myself that I will always be myself," she says. But she worries that she's going back on that vow. "Little by little, I'm feeling like I'm getting trapped and muted."

Her life is changing fast. She put out her first mixtape, Gangsta Bitch Music, Vol. 1, in March last year, back when she was still Love & Hip-Hop's breakout star. It was a gloriously raw and raunchy introduction that cashed in on her TV catchphrases with songs like "Washpoppin'" and "Foreva." She released Vol. 2 in January this year, five months before announcing a major-label contract with Atlantic Records.

In June came "Bodak Yellow," named in homage to Florida rapper Kodak Black, whose song "No Flockin'" inspired its flow. "Bodak Yellow" is an unlikely Number One: a tough trap song with zero concessions to the mainstream, or even anything like a conventional pop hook. In a year when the youth power of streaming services, which now count toward chart positions, is changing the very meaning of pop, she's become the first female rapper to score a solo Number One since Lauryn Hill in 1998. Not bad for someone who initially pursued rapping as a way to monetize her reality fame. ("I said, 'TV don't make you rich,'" recalls her manager, Shaft, who once produced Lil' Kim. "'You gotta sell something! Waist trainers, hair, something.'")

The pressure is building. Her once-carefree social-media presence has drifted toward moody reflections about the downsides of fame. She's stressed about creating a debut album – the very word "album" makes her wince – that can live up to "Bodak Yellow" and the best of her mixtape tracks, not to mention the challenge of creating singles that can keep her on the charts and avoid one-hit-wonderdom. There is a chorus of doubters in her head, she acknowledges, and it sounds something like this: "Can she make another hit, can she make another hit?"

She fears failure, and paints a vivid picture of what it might look like: "If you go broke and lose your career, it's bad – and everybody is talkin' shit about it! At least if you lose your 9-to-5 you don't got millions of people judging you and talking shit while you lost your job."

Seven years ago, Cardi B was convinced she'd already failed at life. To please her mom, she was studying at a Manhattan community college with plans to become a history teacher. Born Belcalis Almanzar, she'd grown up in the Bronx's Highbridge neighborhood, and she was struggling to survive financially on her own. "It was just very sad," she says, uncharacteristically subdued. She's in the back seat of a black SUV on her way to a performance at Baltimore's Morgan State University, and the college setting is bringing back memories. "It was very frustrating – you have to pay for everything. When I finally got a job at Amish Market, I had to debate, 'Do I wanna go to class or do I wanna finish my shift?'"

She dropped out after two semesters, and soon took up stripping – a career move helpfully suggested by her Amish Market boss. "A lot of people wonder, 'Why would anybody want to be a dancer?'" she says. "Because there's money!" She used some of her stripping cash to briefly return to school. "I kept missing classes," she says, "and quit because I felt like I was already failing. It was such a disappointment."

Her strict Trinidadian mother worked seven days a week at a local college; her Dominican father, who separated from her mom when Cardi was 13, was "the cool parent," she says. For Cardi, his experience doing "different things in the streets" was a cautionary tale. "That's why I be so careful with my money and always try to invest. I see people who have it all and then lose it."

As a kid, Cardi had a sense that she was destined to do something creative, which led her to a performing-arts school on the Bronx's east side. She tried acting and singing (though she was convinced all of her classmates were better), wrote some poetry. But she'd also crack up friends and boyfriends by rewriting songs by, say, Beyoncé to make them "waaay sluttier." That hobby caught Shaft's attention years later, leading him to encourage her to pursue rapping seriously.

Until then, Cardi B relied on her abilities to charm and to hustle to pay the bills. And it worked: She quickly broke 100,000 Instagram followers in her strip-club days, expanding outward from her loyal customers, mostly on the strength of playful videos – "sucking dick" and scamming men were favored topics.

After Shaft suggested rapping, he began making beats for her at home, and helped her find a lyrical voice that matched the charm of her delivery.

But Cardi – who calls herself "a negative person" – had to overcome her own skepticism. She thought hard about her subject matter (her first single: "Stripper Hoe"), determined to defy haters "expecting me to drop something trash. It just made me, like, 'Aha, I gotta study these other rappers,'" she says. "Study how to do something different from them. You know all these female rappers, they talking about they money, they talking about they cars, so it's like, what's something that I enjoy? I enjoy fights!"

A few hours after the show, Cardi B is back in her hotel room, still wearing her red jumpsuit. She's curled up in the bed, blankets piled on top of her, talking about the future in a tone that's almost resigned. "I cannot turn my life back around," she muses. "I'm already a public figure, I'm famous. … It's like, I might as well keep it going, might as well make the money. People are always going to talk shit – I cannot make myself unfamous."

She's faced an impressively varied set of criticisms and unsolicited opinions. She's been accused of not being a real lyricist ("I'm not trying to be"); of somehow "not being black" because of her Latina heritage and light skin ("It gets to the point that you ask yourself, 'Damn, what the fuck am I?'"); of sleeping her way to the top ("I always had sex appeal – and niggas still give me a hard time"). The rapper Azealia Banks has quarreled with her, but Cardi B has tried hard not to play into the narrative that female rappers can't get along. "It's not even the female rappers that are catty, it's the fans," she says. "They just want that beef."

Her in-progress album is never far from her thoughts. "I got six, seven solid songs that I like, but I wonder if a month from now, I'm going to change my mind." All the looming expectations, she admits, are making it harder to come up with songs. "It's not as fun to do music," she says. "My mind doesn't flow as free 'cause I have so much on my mind."

She's aiming to mix the Spanish and reggae music of her youth with the trap sound that's inescapable at the moment, putting in late nights with her "Bodak Yellow" producer, J. White, and dancehall specialist Rvssian. She freely acknowledges she's chasing hits. "It's so sad to say, and I don't want to be the one to say it, but you gotta follow the trend," she says. "This generation loves to get high. They love to be on drugs. This is why they on that shit: They don't want to think about what you're saying."

She cites Kendrick Lamar and J. Cole as rappers who still write brilliant, conscious lyrics – some part of her might want to try to follow suit, but she feels like she couldn't get away with it. "A bitch like me, it might not work out for me," she says, "so I'm going to stick to trapping."

It's barely past midnight in Cardi's hotel room, and she is already exhausted. "I'm an old-ass girl now," she says with a sigh, head on a pillow. For all her outrageousness – she finished her show tonight by hopping offstage and twerking in the audience – she's not much of a partier. She stopped smoking weed at 21 because it interfered with her increasing fame and accompanying schedule. She had taken Molly as a confidence booster before stripping but doesn't need it anymore. She rarely drinks. "If I drink," she says, "it's like, my man is gonna be around, and I'm gonna have sex."

She's been with Offset since a chance meeting with him in New York in February – just after Migos scored their own Number One with "Bad and Boujee." "We polish each other," she says, noting they confer on music-biz questions. "I could always ask him, 'Do you think this is OK to do? Do you think I'm getting tricked?'"

She hasn’t been shy about the ups and downs in her relationship with Offset, like the night in October when she seemed to break up and make up with him on Instagram in the course of several hours. She also hasn’t been shy about her intentions to marry him — and, a few days before Halloween, Offset made her dreams come true, popping the question at a Philly concert with a raindrop-shaped ring. She knows she wants to have a family. "I need to make money for my family and my future family," she says. "I'm not a YOLO person. I think 25 years from now. I think about my future kids, future husband, future house."

And where exactly will she be in 25 years? She smiles dreamily, and says, "I see myself cursin' at my kids."

[multapohja966]

All of them (as requested jdkdk) 👀

ahhah thank you!!

(put it under a read more)

1. describe your idea of a perfect datei haven’t really thought about this… i think it’s something involving coffee, but i think having some alone time with the person is important to me.and.. this might be a hilly billy thing but going to some nature place they/me connect to their youth is cool.

2. whats your “type”strong personality and oppinionated is propably the most important. but you have to have a will to think and to a certain extent see all of your oppinions as up for debate. people who do not care about what others think and express themselves how they want!! and i quess i like masculine girls and feminine boys.

3. do you want kids?hmmm… jeah i have sometimes thought of myself as a parent and liked the thought. but it’s such a huge responsobility that i don’t really know what the reality of it would be.

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?hmmm well i already know that i won’t be the one giving birth. i see adoption as a really valid option, but jeah im not that far into considering kids.

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been oni’ve been on an official date like once and it was absolutely awful. but there’s this other time i hung out with this dude i liked and im like 90% sure he liked me too at the time but we were both socially incapable suckers. but jeah we rode our bikes on a summer evening and he showed me the place he goes to when he wants to be alone, which was this solid rock hill that had a view of the biggest swamp i had ever seen. was really dope

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)you come to my virgin jack-off house….

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?night time. i’m so bad at funktionin during the day.

8. opinion on nap dates?haven’t really tried but from ecperience i have with friends i think it’s such a good way to create trust

9. opinion on brown eyes?very nice. especially those almost black ones and that hazel color stuff.

10. dog gay or cat gay?dog gay!!

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?YES!!

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone?not really that experienced with commitment (i love being trans in a small village smh) but propably i just need to know they’re mature enough.

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?hmmm idk i didn’t really have much exposion to them but i guess i kinda had this thought they were super different from the people around me? the typical thing bad representation brings.

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger selfbeing something different isn’t bad. you don’t have to compensate being lgbt+ with aggressively being something “normal” for people to not leave you. be nice and appreachable and mature, but you won’t gain anything from trying to please the people who are more easy to digest/”park of the mass”. it won’t work and it’ll be hard to accept that people see fault in even small things, but when you be yourself and express yourself greatly enough with confdence, THEN people will be drawn to you.

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?jeah…. i really like men who are like sensitive and skinny and like i hate this but like: beta males (ajndfljns). but in women i adore the basic strong muscular and huge woman with a confident and relaxed nature. i haven’t really thought about a specific type when it comes to nb people. because “stylistic/creative” is a bit too broad

16. who is an ex you regret?hmmm i don’t really think i regret any.

17. night club gay or cafe gay?cafe gay. clubbing is okay sometimes with good company and enough alcohol in my system but if im sober-ish and with some people i hate it. (also i have mostly been to straight clubs  and ffff i don’t fit there at all and it gets bad if i start to think about it)

18. who is one person you would “go straight” forbi..

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?all.

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)uuhhf.. hmmmmm.. bumblebee?

21. favourite gay youtubermiles jai

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?prolly not. but it’s a grey line since i did some romantic shit as femme representing when i was in the trans closet.

23. have you ever been in love?yes. it was such a defining feeling for me

24. have you ever been heartbroken?yeah, but i’m kind of embarrassed by it

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someonethis is something it think about a lot as a trans masc person, but i have always thought that despite my taste in men/masc people and my ideal look often being intertwining (those young artsy gopnik -aesthetic boys are the ideal look for me lol) the feelings of “i want to be like that” and “i want to date that” have always been clearly different for me.

26. favourite lgb musician/banddoes tyler the creator count? because he’s propably an artist i relate to and admire the most. ohhhhh lil peep is the same too. also kevin abstract, he means the world.

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gaysit’s hard to live in a society that doesn’t always give you the same possibilities because of your identity. but try to see it in a healthy light and compromice only on things that don’t hurt your identity and who you are. you’re allowed to be weird and controversial and it doesn’t matter what people think because it’s them who are shallow and small minded. but remember that things you have to do as a person who’s part of a society need to be taken care of for your own health! :D (and queer excellense heh)

28. are you out? if so how did you come outyes. well.. ACTUALLY i never came out about my sexuality??? i never saw it as necessary. i think my parents know tho, i don’t really think about it. huh.. how weird i didn’t even realise. i’m “out” to almost everyone tho cause im super open about it.

my gender was a more complicated issue. i first came out to my closest friends. then to some friends who weren’t really lgbt+ informed (and they were all so supportive!) then to my mom. then to everyone else in instagram. the last and most hard was my dad, who has always supported me in everything, but isn’t really informed about stuff like that and is the typical old school finnish man. he was supportive too! at the moment the only one who doesn’t know is my grandma.

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have coming out to my dad lmao. cause he didn’t know what i mean XDD i thought that in light of resent lgbt+ visibility he would have at least heard about nonbinary people but he just didn’t know so i had to explain and jeahh.

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexualityi have pretty safe surrounding so im not completely sure what i can say.. but from my experience i want to say that despite how it always seems and feels, people are empathetic. people truly are understanding. no person wants harm, we’re all just so confused and misinformed. people will understand and change their ways if you give them your honest self because they are just confused. the most beautiful and supportive words ive gotten in regards to my identity are from a cishet boy in a party, who previously had really toxic and mean perception of nb people, but after i came out to him and we talked about the whole thing. he gave me this whole speech about how i should always be myself and not let anyone give me shit. honestly i get a bit teary sometimes when i think about it. but jea, there’s this raw goodness in people that i often forget exists, but it is there.