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#most of us will be like okay have a nice life<3
plutoasteroids · 3 days
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PAC - How Will Your FS' Siblings Feel About You
This is a general reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Especially because not everyone's FS has siblings so if you aren't drawn to a pile that could be why or there are just no messages for you in this reading.
THIS READING IS ALLEGEDLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY CHOICES MADE IN RELATION TO MY READINGS!
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Pile 1 is the picture of Alexa Demie in sunglasses
Pile 2 is the Black and White picture
Pile 3 the picture with Fairy wings
Pile 4 The picture with her holding a knif3
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PILE 1
Okay I do feel like your FS' siblings may be unsure of you at first because you might be someone completely different from their usual type for example you could be of a different race or background that they aren't used to so they may feel a bit sceptical about you especially at the very early stages of them getting to know you. Regardless of a tough first impression I feel like most of their siblings will eventually like you but there is one sibling that will hate your guts and the reasons could vary from person to person but overall it's just this vibe of them feeling like you aren't good enough for their sibling (your fs) and to be honest I don't think that specific sibling will ever like you there is a lot of deep-rooted jealousy and insecurity that you trigger in them without you knowing but anyways it won't affect your marriage/ relationship with your fs or the rest of their family. For the actually nice siblings of your fs, I feel like you will all have a lot of fun together going on adventures and trips and just enjoying life. At some point which will be pretty early on they might even start seeing you as their sibling and it will feel like things aren't complete if you aren't there too (sooo sweet). To be honest I feel you will have a specific one of your fs sibling that you will be super super close with just the connection is flowy and fun, it will feel like you guys are life long best friends. Don't worry about the one hater they genuinely won't matter, it will be annoying but it won't matter. Your fs family will be on your side and your fs side so they will immediately shut down the bs every time they act out of line.
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PILE 2
Okayyyy so you guys are my controversial pile lmfaooo. So, upon first impression your fs' siblings will definitely find you confident, sexy alluring, badass and just glamorous. You take care of yourself and dress well and they can see that some more than others. I feel like you won't necessarily have a friendly relationship with your fs' siblings it will be more civil than anything especially because I feel like you won't see them much, so you won't get the chance to build a deeper relationship with them. I also feel like you have your fs wrapped around your little finger and they do notice this it's honestly obvious to everyone that your fs worships the actual ground you walk on but anywayssss. To the controversial bit I do feel like your fs will have a sibling that will have a bit of a crush on you but its nothing more than an innocent crush and it won't develop into anything more and I do feel like it will be something that will be joked about for a long time. My pile 2 I feel like you will be marrying into money. So overall this will be a very civil relationship with them no hate, no jealousy, you just get along with them well especially on the few ocassions that you do and will see them.
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PILE 3
Okay, they will view you as pretty innocent. They may be the type to make overtly inappropriate jokes and you may not react to them, or you will seem confused making you innocent in their eyes. I feel like your fs' siblings are more on the loud, fun, obnoxious side and you aren't like that so to them they will view you as quite shy and reserved because you aren't acting as loud and carefree as they are. I feel like you are the type to use logic and be more observant in situations involving people which will extend to them feeling like you are quite cold towards them which isn't the caseagain because oyu are more of an observer than someone who will engage inw hatever they are doing. They may not necessarily like you nor will they ahte you because you will still be quite polite it's just that you won't engage in their version of fun which may make them see you as stuck up and a bit boring. Overall, the relationship here feels a bit rough round the edges but it will get better with time as you all learn each other they will understand that it's just how you are and there is no bad blood between all of you.
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PILE 4
This pile is not afraid to get down and dirty. You are outspoken, confident and the no bullshit type. You may like things direct and straight to the point which might honestly catch people off guard and in this case your fs' siblings. I feel like they may have grown up in a setting where you have to always be polite or pick your words carefully, but you aren't like that which might come as a shock and will take a lot of getting used to on their end. I feel like there is equal learning, you learning to be more sensitive because not everyone takes being overly direct well ad them learning that you mean well but you are just very open and outspoken. I feel like overall though they will like you and you will get along quite well with them it will just take some getting used to each other. I wouldn't say you will be the best of friends, but you will certainly get along well with each other, and you will make good memories together. They will learn to let loose, and you will have wild, childlike fun...eventually.
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psychicbergara · 5 months
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'even if watcher does find a middle ground, im not going to watch them anymore' okay then goodbye!!
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xluxsolarisx · 5 months
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brings you to the lavender farm¹ that the bear² is from and takes you through the fields looking at all the different types of lavender before having some lunch at the farm cafe and getting you some lavender ice cream to try out (i'm sure you're interested by the sound of it and yes it is pretty good^^) and then takes you to the gift shop for you to look through at anything else you might like so i can get it for you:> and just has a lovely day together:3
1. https://lyndochlavenderfarm.com.au/
2. https://lyndochlavenderfarm.com.au/products/lavender-bear?_pos=1&_sid=90127ddf4&_ss=r
uhm, yeah <3
:O a fun outing!!!!! there are so many cool different types of lavender i never knew... and not all of them are purple! i only thought lavender came in. well. lavender so seeing different colors is really cool...i especially like the hidcote pink and munstead, very pretty! i am running through the fields and picking flowers if they would let me pick flowers if they don't i am admiring their beauty without taking anything ^^ you're right actually i would love to try lavender ice cream! and i also wanna try lavender honey and lavender jam, they sound very floral and sweet, very nice c: i should find some for myself soon in like a farmers market or something i wanna try it irl... hmmm....from the gift shop i would like the lavender body mists, incense, lip balm, & bath salts. ok maybe not the bath salts actually ^^' i don't trust myself not to eat them. vietnam flashbacks. and also the lavender sleep pillow for the same reason i'd like the plushie (seems cuddly and would help me sleep) and finally maybe some lavender seeds so i could grow my own lavender! thank you for taking me this day was so fun, at the end of the day i reveal i have taken some lavender flowers and weaved them into a flower crown for you and i put it on your head. i love you. i also took the plushie and she had so much fun, here are two pictures i drew of her enjoying the day out ^^
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she is laying in the grass and also sitting next to lavender flowers because i couldn't decide which drawing i liked better. ignore the way her palms are open magnanimously like jesus christ or jerry seinfeld i wanted to show her beans. also ignore the way her nose is white in the grass drawing i forgot to color it in. just imagine she ate a powdered donut filled with lavender jelly, okay? thank you again, this was really fun! bye bye 💖💖💖
#the thought of this made me very happy ^^ what if life could be dream...#only thing is i can't actually get the bear plushie because they don't ship to the us. hell world.#anyway i have been trying to learn how to draw lately!#it's slow going because between family and friends and college and other hobbies (like chess and baking and gardening) and The Horrors#i don't have a lot of time to practice#so i'm not very good yet but that's okay because i'm having fun and i'm allowed to be bad at things#so far i can draw.#BUNNY! KITTY! SHEEPY!#THE FACE (AND NOTHING ELSE! JUST THE FACE!) OF A MELANCHOLY WOMAN WITH HEAVILY LIDDED EYES#AND WINGED EYELINER AND LIPSTICK AND BRAIDS!#TEDDY BEAR! CREEPY SMILE! BREASTS! and that's it ^^#i want to try my hand at fanart someday maybe...#for now i've set a goal that i need to get better at drawing bodies and hands and generally conveying motion.#like looking to the side and different poses. and HAND POSES ugh i'm so bad at hand poses.#i do most of my work on pencil and paper but i should get some kinda drawing app soon...#only thing is i don't have a tablet and i know in my heart i cannot draw with a mouse on a computer. i just Can't.#i mean i guess i DO have a laptop but it doesn't have a touch screen...#so digital is kinda off the table for now unless i'm drawing with my phone (like the teddy bear drawing)#i'm rambling. ok so thank you!! the mental image of this was very pleasing to me.#you're very nice. have a nice day!!! you deserve it. bye bye <3#fortunes told (asks)
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sinner-as-saint · 9 months
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run for your life
Mob!Bucky x Reader 
Summary: He was away from the city for a while, chasing after some bastards who betrayed him. But the traitors were no longer breathing now and Bucky Barnes was finally able to come home to the city he ruled. Mostly, he was excited to come back and see his girl again. However when he got to the strip club where you worked as a waitress, he didn’t find you there. They told him you didn’t work there anymore. No one knew where you went, or why you left. Nobody even knew your real name. Now it was up to him to search the whole wide world to find a nameless girl – one he was obsessively, mindlessly in love with. 
Themes: slight stalker!bucky, possessive!bucky, mild degrading kink, smut, FLUFF, opposite aesthetics, mild daddy kink (nicknames only), cosy little town vibes 
a/n: some fluffy mob!bucky to end the year <3 Thank you so much for always supporting my silly little fics. Merry Christmas my darlings, and happy New Year!! See you soon ;)
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He didn't know where exactly he would end up locating you, but finding you in a cosy, small, coastal town in the south of France was not on his list. 
You being the owner of a gourmet bakery was not on his list either. Bucky was confused, surprised, but mostly confused. How did this happen? At first, when Sam came to deliver him the news of your location that morning, Bucky didn’t believe him. Had Sam not been Bucky’s oldest, most loyal friend Bucky would’ve never believed him at all. 
“I’m gonna need you to stop being a dumbass and go find this girl!” Sam, ever the voice of reason yelled at Bucky who had been drowning in his sorrows. “It’s been months, and I can’t keep covering for your ass. I have my own shit to do, my own men to command.” He used that cool, authoritative voice of his. “Pull yourself together, Buck. Go find her.” 
Sam was right. Of course he was. He always was. And it had really been months since that damned night… 
— 
Bucky couldn’t wait to get out of his plane the moment it landed. It was late at night, but the perfect time to go to the club. He had missed it. Well, not the whole club really. Bucky had missed you. 
He had a… special connection with you. His girl. His only girl. His favourite girl. 
This time, he thought, he would do whatever he can to solidify whatever was happening between the two of you. Maybe he’d even get you to go on a real date with him. Maybe that would lead to something more. He was smiling to himself just thinking about it. 
He often thought back to the night you met. He was at the club after a long day of being the dark ruler he was. All he wanted was a drink and a pretty woman on his lap. That’s when he found you. 
Right as he walked in, you caught his eye. Walking around serving drinks, wearing a little see-through red dress that brought every man you walked past to his knees. 
Once he got to his booth, Bucky called you over. You walked towards him sheepishly. 
“I’ve never seen you around here before, beautiful.” He said, patting his thigh. He noticed the way you hesitated. Must be new, he thought. 
You carefully perched on his lap, holding your empty metal tray to your chest. Bucky smirked as he looked at it, like you were putting a makeshift barrier between the two of you. When you remained quiet and squirmy, Bucky spoke up again. 
“Come on, babygirl. Talk to me, it’s okay.” He whispered at his nuzzled your neck. “I don’t bite. Unless you ask nicely, then I might.” 
His warm breath against your skin tickled. You chuckled as you pulled away to look at him. “Um, I’m just a waitress. I’m not supposed to…” You trailed off. Both of you were aware of the no-contact ‘rule’. But there was a natural, unexplainable spark there that neither of you could ignore. 
“Hmm,” His chest rumbled. “How about we go somewhere private?” He whispered into your ear and noticed the way you shivered. 
You hung your head, clutching your metal tray. “Waitresses aren’t supposed to go into the VIP rooms, sir.” You said quietly, just loud enough for him to hear you above the sensual music. 
Bucky smirked. Then leaned in and whispered, “I suppose I can bend the rules a little given I co-own the club.” 
You froze and went to stand up immediately, already apologising but he wrapped his arm around your waist, keeping you on his lap. 
“It’s okay, babygirl. You’re not in trouble, I promise.” 
The two of you ended up in one of the VIP rooms. Nothing happened, you just kissed and talked and kissed some more. Bucky promised to come back. And he did. For months. Again and again and each time he did, you were drawn to him like he was gravity from the very moment he walked into the room. 
And that night he landed after being away for weeks, he expected you to run right into his arms the moment he’d enter the club like you always did. He even got you a nice little gift to make up for the time that he’d been away. It was a rare, red diamond choker. He could already imagine how it would look around your neck. Like a brand. His. 
But then he got to the club. And he noticed everyone was avoiding his eyes almost anxiously. And his girl was nowhere to be seen. He searched for you in the main area for a while, then even searched the VIP rooms, vowing to commit horrible crimes if he ever found you in there with another man. 
But no. 
He called Sam, who co-owned the club, and Sam had no idea who he was talking about. Bucky asked the staff members, and one bartender finally told him that you’d resigned a few weeks ago. And no one knew where you went. He asked for your full name, but no one knew that either. 
Not even Sam. “I didn’t even know we had a new waitress, Buck. I have more important shit to worry about.” He’d said, adding to the burning sensation in Bucky’s chest. 
“She left me.” 
Sam had no idea what his best friend was babbling about. And during the many months that followed, Bucky was a mess. A mess like Sam had never seen before. Frantically scanning country after country, searching for a girl with no name. He was in love, and he wasn’t giving up. He would find his girl come what may. 
But now Bucky knew where you were. 
And he was more confused than ever. He had even more questions. 
Bucky spent a whole week in that little town. Watching you, learning your routine, observing and questioning. He disguised himself as a local and always kept his distance even though his hands itched to touch you. 
At first he was bothered by how you were fine with living the same day everyday. Your routine seemed boring at first, but the more he watched, the more he realised it was sort of therapeutic. The normality of it all. 
He rented an apartment on the other side of the street from your bakery, and he spent hours watching you. 
You lived right above the bakery. A quaint apartment, with flower pots all around the french windows. Sometimes when you forgot to turn the lights off at night, Bucky spent the whole night spying on you, counting your breaths as you slept on your couch in front of the TV. 
You’d wake up at the crack of dawn, then you’d feed your dogs. He noticed you had two. Lazy, both of them. Then you’d get downstairs and within half an hour, the cool air that entered his apartment carried the smell of the sea and baked goods. 
All he wanted was to cross the cobblestone street and drag you to his bed, demand answers while fucking some sense into you. But the more he watched you, the more his anger diminished. Temporarily. 
The genuine smile on your face as you served your loyal customers all day, especially the ones who always came early in the morning on their way to work. The occasional sound of your voice or your laughter that slipped past whenever someone didn’t close the door right. The sound of children squealing and laughing whenever you gave away leftover baked goods or donuts in the evenings. How you knew almost everyone by name. How sometimes you invited neighbours over for wine nights. How you went on little walks in late, cool evenings, forcing your lazy pets to walk but then ending up having to carry them on the way back. They were spoiled, he realised. He hated to admit that he was jealous of the damned dogs who got so much of your attention while he starved for it. 
He wasn’t angry by the end of that first week of spying, he was just hurting. How dare you live a whole new life without him? How dare you laugh and seem like you don’t miss him? He’d just spent months looking for you and here you were, just going about your day like you didn’t care? Like none of those nights you’d spent together mattered? 
Meanwhile he was shaking just reminiscing the way your touch felt across his skin. He remembered the first time the two of you crossed that line in one of the VIP rooms…
You were wearing that red dress again. Fucking tease, he hissed each time you moved or squirmed on his lap. 
“Baby, please,” He groaned. “Just… let me touch you. Daddy will make you feel good, so good babygirl, I promise.” He pleaded, hands caressing your soft, warm thighs. 
You shook your head, popping another one of those chocolates he brought you into your mouth and sucking your fingers after. Torturing him. 
“We can’t,” You insisted, with nothing but mischief in your eyes as you looked at him. “You made these rules yourself, remember?” You chuckled when he groaned again when you straddled him properly. 
“I don’t give a shit about rules.” He hissed, nuzzling your neck. Slowly, he kissed up and down your neck. “I just wanna taste you. That’s it. Just a taste.” 
That’s how he found himself on his knees, face in between your thighs. His skilled tongue making you whine and whimper as you tugged on his hair. Bucky hummed in appreciation the more he tasted you. 
“Come on daddy’s face, baby…” 
That’s it. 
Bucky decided he would go see you the next morning. He would drag you back home if he had to, but he wouldn’t spend another day without you. Who did you think you were? No one just tosses him aside like this. He’d remind you who he was and then you’d both go home right away. 
Bucky woke up to a thunderstorm. Weather around here was unpredictable. He got out of bed and immediately looked outside to find your bakery empty. No customers in sight because of the heavy rain, lightning and thunder. The golden light was on though. 
He decided it was time to go have a talk with you. He promised not to lose his temper. He would go in there calmly, talk it out with you. Ask you what the fuck you are doing here, and then he’d take you home. 
But that ended up not happening. 
Bucky crossed the slippery cobblestone street, walked into your comforting, sweet smelling bakery and froze. He froze right there at the entrance. 
As did you. Standing there behind the wooden counter, oven mittens in your hand and apron in another, you stared at Bucky with nothing but pure shock and surprise on your face. A thousand thoughts, mainly questions, crossed your mind. 
What is he doing here? How did he find you? Why is he dressed casually like a local, wearing soft colours instead of his usual suits? How long has he been here? What is he doing here? 
You let out a little gasp. “Bucky?” 
Wrong move, apparently. Because his demeanour changed in a nanosecond. His calm and collected-ness was forgotten instantly. Jaws clenched, with a murderous look in his eyes, he walked closer, more like charged at you, and around the counter before you could even get a word out. 
He had you pinned to the nearest wall before you could process it all. Knocking down a framed picture in the process. Towering above you, he looked like he was beyond pissed. 
“Bucky, I—,” 
“Shut up.” He hissed, voice cold with bitterness and anger. He watched how you shivered when he pinned your wrists to the wall on either side of your head. “Shut the fuck up.” 
He leaned closer, chest pressing against yours leaving no space in between. He closed his eyes and sighed for a moment, trying his hardest to see reason but he was angry. So angry he couldn’t think. 
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” He spoke with such a low voice that you trembled against him, causing him to tighten his grip around your wrists, surely bruising them. You didn’t care. 
You winced, “I can explain.” Fuck, you’d missed him too. It had been months since you last saw him. He was just as handsome as you remembered. His hair was a little longer now, his beard a little thicker. But he made your heart race just the same. “Please Bucky,” You whispered, “let me explain everything to you.” 
“No.” He growled before pressing his mouth to yours, angrily. Like he wanted his kiss to hurt. And it did. 
His rough facial hair scratched your skin, his teeth nibbled on and bit your lips. His hands damn near crushed your wrists in his strong grip. And he didn’t give you even the briefest second to breathe. He kissed you just like how he imagined he would do once he found you. Ravenously. Pouring everything he felt into it. Desperation, anger, hurt, obsession. He couldn’t get enough. 
“Bucky…” You gasped against his lips when he finally pulled away. Breathing fast, you tried to get a look at him but he just seemed even more angry. 
“Turn around,” He mumbled, forcing you to turn around anyway. Fuck, the sight of you in that long, flowy, sundress was doing things to him. He was never this bothered when you used to parade around in your little see-through dresses, but somehow the sight of you in this pink, floral dress was making him act like a caveman. 
His movements were rash and angry. He almost tore your dress off of you while he shoved his rough hand in between your legs and touched you where you desperately wanted him to. You whined and trembled against the cool wall when he slid a finger in, fucking you with it while he hissed into your ear. 
“I should punish you for what you did to me,” His deep voice made his chest rumble against your back. “I should tie you up and fuck you however I want.” 
Your dress was partially off, bunched and only hanging on around your waist. Being so dishevelled made this even dirtier. You were moaning by now, hoping the heavy rain would blur your actions from anyone who walked by the shop. Or god forbid, walk in. 
“How dare you think you can just leave me?” He demanded, sliding another finger inside you and making your body come alive. 
You were embarrassingly wet at this point, and the sounds your body made as he finger-fucked you were lewd. But you couldn’t get enough. 
More, more, more. You mentally chanted. 
Bucky wasn’t having the silent treatment, so he smacked your thigh to get your attention. You yelped. Your skin stung as he smacked it again, on the same spot. Harder this time. You cried out even louder as he kept taunting you. “Answer me, you fucking brat!” His lips brushed against the back of your neck as he spoke. “Why did you leave me?” 
You cried as he kept fucking you with his fingers you even as you came. His fingers sliding in and out with ease now. The sounds you made were wanton. “You… you left first.” You tried to argue. But failed miserably. 
He chuckled in that dark and dangerous way of his. “I left for work.” He said, “And I promised you I’d be back.” He reached deeper inside you, curling his fingers just enough to make you mutter incoherent things. “Why didn’t you wait for me?” 
“Please, please, please…” You begged. “Please I need to come, Bucky please.” 
“Oh?” He chuckled again, slowing down his movements purposely. “No one touched you, huh?” He playfully bit on your exposed shoulder. “You’re so fucking wet it’s dripping down my hand, babygirl.” He boasted. “Is it because no one has touched you these past few months? Hmm?” 
“Yes…” You had tears streaming down your face, and you nodded breathlessly. “Please…” 
But instead of making you come all over his fingers, Bucky pulled away for a brief moment. You couldn’t see him, but you could hear him undoing his trousers. And moments later, he was rubbing the tip of his cock against your wet folds. You shivered in pleasure.
“I’m gonna teach you what happens to people who think they can run from me, babygirl.” He growled as he pushed his cock into you, making you cry out loud as he stretched you out. 
After months of not having him, right now he felt huge inside you. Just like that, memories of nights spent with him came flooding back in. You moaned as his fingers found your clit again, rubbing it in sync with his thrusts. 
His hand gripped you by the hips, holding you against him as he sped up into you, fucking you like he hated you. Like it was punishment. He dipped his head into the crook of your neck and licked, and bit on your skin as he fucked into you relentlessly, earning more and more moans out of you each time his cock stroked your walls.
“Did you think I’d never find you?” He asked, fucking into you. “I bet you thought you’d gotten rid of me, hmm?” 
You’d missed him too. He could tell by the way you were starting to clench around him already. Bucky nibbled at the skin under your ear and you lost all control you had left. Your thoughts became cloudy and all you could focus on was how good he felt inside you. 
“See, it didn’t have to be like this, baby…” he mumbled angrily against your skin while he fucked you like an animal, “I could be nice and gentle with your body, but you just had to be a fucking brat and leave me with no warning.” He spat, growling in your ear as he pounded into you, your chest slamming into the wall with each thrust. It hurt in the best way. 
“You feel so fucking good, baby,” He moaned against your ear and the sound sent shivers down your back. Your legs started to shake as he quickened his pace, pounding into you mercilessly.
The pleasure, the pain, the heat of him… was too much and you couldn’t hold back anymore. 
“Bucky–,” You choked on your words as you came undone, walls clenching around him, and a loud moan erupting from your mouth as he made you come hard. It was almost blinding. 
His thrusts became irregular as he came right after you did, cock throbbing against your pulsating walls, moaning out loud when he felt your walls pulsating violently around him. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” He came while biting down hard on your shoulder. So hard that even you cried out, still coming down from your high as you felt him spill deep inside you. 
That bite on your shoulder hurt. And like a chain reaction, everything began to hurt. Having him here hurt. Memories of being with him in the city, in the dark rooms of that club hurt. Realising how fast your life changed hurt. 
You didn’t realise you were sobbing quietly until you heard Bucky apologising profusely. Suddenly no longer angry. No longer feeling betrayed. 
“Fuck, baby. I’m so sorry.” He kissed that sore spot softly, his bite mark on your shoulder repeatedly as he wrapped his arms around you, securing you in the comfort of his embrace. “I don’t know what came over me, babygirl. I’m so sorry, please look at me. Hey, hey,” He pulled away and turned you so you faced him, still with tears in your eyes. “Babygirl, I’m so sorry.” He whispered, wiping your tears away, then kissing your face repeatedly. 
You remained like that for a few minutes. Arms wrapped around one another, standing there against that wall while it rained like hell outside. Bucky didn’t stop apologising. 
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have been an animal like this with you, I—,” 
You cut him off finally, “Shh, it’s okay.” You pulled away from his warm chest to look up at him. “I needed this.” You said, sniffling as you gently cupped his rough cheek, caressing his face with your thumb. “I needed you like this.” 
He just hugged you close again, kissing the top of your head. “I’m sorry.” He apologised one final time. “I’ll listen, I promise. I’ll listen to whatever you have to say.” 
You smiled faintly at him. “Then I should lock up down here and we can go upstairs. I don’t want to scare my neighbours by risking them finding us like this.” You looked down at your partially torn dress and Bucky’s unbuttoned trousers. 
Much to your surprise, Bucky said, “You go ahead, I’ll close and lock up.” 
You frowned at him even as you desperately tried to get the top of your sundress to cover your chest. “You wouldn’t know how to…” You trailed off as realisation set in. He was a calculated, smart man. He didn’t just apparate on your doorstep with no planning. “You’ve been watching me.” You stated, raising an eyebrow at him. 
Bucky gave you a rare, guilty look. 
You sighed and shook your head. “I guess I chose this life by getting involved with you.” You gave him a faint smile. “Alright then, lock it. Leave the key in the little basket by the door.” You started walking towards the stairs, then turned around again and said, “Make sure the windows are properly locked too, because of the rain and stuff.” 
“Yes ma’am,” Bucky nodded.
You smirked at him. 
With that you took the stairs and Bucky watched you go with a fond smile on his face. No one ever ordered him around. He hated it. But coming from you, he quite liked it. 
Bucky chuckled at himself because never in his life had he ever imagined he would one day be closing up a bakery in a small town, all for the woman he’s obsessively in love with. But he didn’t mind it one bit. 
After following your instructions and double checking the windows, he made his way upstairs as well. Again, he didn’t know what he expected your place to look like – and all that spying only allowed him glimpses of your apartment – but he never expected your space to look so… 
Pink. With occasional gold accents. Pale pink couch, the one you often fell asleep on while watching TV, and fluffy white pillows and rugs to go with. Paintings hanging on even paler pink walls. The kitchen he couldn’t quite see but he assumed it’d have to be all white. Pink dog beds, with fluffy balls of brown fur sleeping on them – wearing pink collars no less. 
He couldn’t see your bedroom from the living room given the door was closed but given the pink, fluffy robe and socks you wore he could imagine just how pink it must be. 
“It’s so girly.” He commented, as if surprised. Maybe he was a little. After all, he knew you as the seductive goddess he met almost every night at the club. He never realised that it was all just a show, that it was all just a persona at work. In a way, stepping into your space felt so intimate. He liked it. 
You chuckled. “Coquette, please.” You corrected as you handed him a glass of red wine while he took a seat beside you. He did look a little out of place in your apartment, a dark and broody man like him. But then again, he was here and that’s all that mattered. 
He turned to look at you and couldn’t resist holding your hand and pulling you onto his lap again. “Come here,” He said, “I’ve missed you.” 
As you straddled his lap, your robe exposed some of your shoulder and Bucky saw the very noticeable bite mark he left on you. He grimaced when he saw it. He placed his wine glass to the side and traced the bite mark with his thumb carefully. 
“I’m sorry, babygirl.” He whispered, leaning in to nuzzle your neck and kiss the bite mark. And breathe in your scent. Fuck, he’d missed it so much. “You smell a little different. Fruitier.” 
You giggled when his hair tickled your skin. “I made blueberry compote earlier this morning. Perhaps that’s why.” 
You could feel him smiling against your skin. Then he pulled away to look at you. His hands shamelessly slid under your robe, eager to touch your skin. Relishing it this time, not in a feral hurry like he was earlier. He seemed visibly calmer too. 
“We used to spend hours like this at the club, remember?” He spoke, and immediately you were overwhelmed with nostalgia. 
Hours, days, weeks, months. Some days back then you would wake up in the morning already excited to see Bucky in the evening. And it wasn’t because it was all sexual. So many nights all you two did was drink, laugh and talk about everything. He once told you that apart from Sam, you were his only real friend. 
Bucky kissed you, breaking you out of your reverie surely thinking of the past as well. It was a slow, gentle kiss. It was consuming you. His hands caressed your thighs which were still a little sore from earlier. You winced in pain when he massaged the spot where he spanked you. 
Bucky pulled away from the kiss, apologising again as he kissed down your chin. “I’m sorry, babygirl.” 
You smiled at him after taking a sip of your wine. “Stop pretending as if we were always vanilla or that this is scandalous in any way shape or form.” You chuckled as you leaned in to whisper in his ear, “We both know this was nothing compared to how we used to be.” 
Bucky smiled, a little sadly. “I missed you.” He repeated. “Tell me,” He said, “Tell me everything.” 
You finished your wine. “What do you want to know?” 
“Why did you start working at the club?” He caught the look of sadness that suddenly appeared on your face upon hearing the question.
“I… I had to drop out of uni because my grandparents fell sick.” You explained. “Mom and dad were travelling for work at the time, and I was the only one who could take care of grandma and grandpa. The treatments and all ended up costing a little more than what we had so I needed a job that paid well, I also needed one that would allow me to be flexible with my time so I could take care of my grandparents.” 
Bucky nodded, “Hence the club.” 
You nodded in confirmation. 
“Your parents never intervened? So you could finish your education?” He questioned. 
“No.” You said, almost emotionless. “When they found out what I was doing, where I was working to earn the extra money we needed… they kind of disowned me. And vowed to never talk to me again.” You chuckled, humourlessly. 
“They don’t deserve you.” Bucky said quickly, wrapping his arms around you and hugging you close. “You were so brave baby, I wish you would’ve told me all of this.” 
You slid your fingers into his hair and massaged his scalp gently. “You were already taking care of me.” You said, “You mended my heart a little each night when I saw you.” 
“I wish I could’ve done more.” He kissed along your collarbones, then froze again as if he remembered something. “I almost forgot,” He said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a sleek black box. “I got you something.” Then clarified, “Well, I got you this months ago. I would’ve given it to you had you not run away from me.” 
You rolled your eyes at him, “I didn’t run from you, I–,” 
He cut you off with a finger on your lips. “Tell me about that part in a minute,” He opened the slender black box to reveal the red diamond choker inside. “I had this made for you.” He watched your face intently. 
“Bucky…” You hesitantly reached for it, running your fingers over the beauty of it. It was a simple design. Elegant, timeless. Way too expensive. “I can’t take this,” You began protesting, “It’s too much.” 
Bucky made a face and said, “Oh shut up.” He was already clasping it around your neck before you could protest any further. “It’s a gift from daddy,” He whispered against the corner of your lips. “You deserve it, babygirl.” 
When he pulled away to look at you, his heart almost broke again at the sight of the tears in your eyes. 
“What is it?” He asked, wiping your tears away for the second time today. “Is it that ugly?” 
You laughed through the tears. “No, it’s the prettiest thing I own.” You sniffled. “The only piece of real jewellery in fact.” You leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.” 
“Remind me to get you a whole collection.” Bucky pulled you closer and kissed you deeply. 
Then it turned into something more and by the time the afternoon rolled around, the two of you had lost count how many times you’d made love on your pink couch. Slow touches and cuddles, and soft kisses always resulted in the two of you fucking again. 
In the late afternoon, while snacking on random things Bucky realised you still hadn’t explained how you ended up here. 
“Grandma and grandpa’s bakery.” You explained, watching the rain pour outside. “They left it to me. They died within weeks of each other,” You said with a melancholic smile on your face, “I always knew that would happen. They loved each other too much to live without one another for too long.” 
You turned to look at Bucky who pulled you onto his lap again and held you as tightly as possible. You weren’t crying this time, but being held felt nice. 
You continued, “I had funerals to plan, I had to pack up my life and move all the way here, I had to take on the responsibility of the bakery and renovate this apartment. And you were already gone at the time so…” You sighed. “I didn’t know if I should leave a note or not. I didn’t know if you were actually coming back or–,” 
“I would never abandon you. I thought you knew that.” Bucky said, a little annoyed at that. “I made you a promise, did you not–,” 
You couldn’t help but argue, “Yeah well, I didn’t know if what we had was real enough for you to come back to.” 
Bucky frowned. “Baby…” 
You gave him a small smile, and pressed your forehead against his, rubbing your noses together. “I know now. It is.” 
When you finally pulled away from his addicting embrace you said, “I’m gonna get started on dinner. You can shower in there,” You pointed at your bedroom door as you got up from the couch. Bucky tried to grab you again but you pulled away laughing. “The weather is clearing up, we can have dinner outside on the patio.” 
You threw him a wink and made your way into the kitchen. 
Bucky finally got up and walked into your bedroom. Just as he imagined, the place was all white, gold, and pink. He actually laughed when he walked into the bathroom and found it pale pink as well. He’d grown to love it too by now. 
You were busy at the stove, making your best seafood pasta, when you felt strong arms wrapping around you from behind. 
“How’d you like my bedroom?” You asked, smirking already as you pictured him in your very girly space. 
“It’s very pink. The bed looks comfy,” He whispered into your ear, “I’m gonna fuck you in it later.” 
You chuckled and passed him another glass of wine. As you turned to face him again, you couldn’t help but laugh out loud. There he was, one of the scariest men you knew, standing in your grandma-core kitchen, wearing a fluffy white robe with pink clouds on it. 
Bucky rolled his eyes, “Oh don’t comment on it. I can already hear Sam laughing his ass off and he’s not even here.” 
You laughed even harder before you kissed his cheek. “It suits you.” You said. Then you handed him a couple of plates and pointed at the patio which could be seen from the kitchen window, “Can you set the table?” 
He finished his wine and then mumbled on his way out like a grumpy old man, “First close the bakery, now set the table,” He shouted from outside, “You know, if this whole thing was your elaborate plan to hire me as your domestic helper, you could’ve just asked, babygirl.” 
You laughed at him from inside the kitchen. You shook your head as you watched him. Wearing your fluffy robe, setting the small table on your patio. The view of the ocean from that patio was to die for, and the setting sun was just sublime. The golden lights you’d hung above the cute little dining area added to the cosy atmosphere. Now with the weather a lot nicer than it was hours ago, you could hear the small town coming alive again. Voice and laughter, children cycling down the cobblestone. 
And Bucky. Bucky was here too. Winking at you from the patio. And you thought your life had ended when your parents disowned you. You scoffed at the thought. Then you thanked whatever god was listening for bringing Bucky back to you. 
— 
During dinner, Bucky filled you in on what he was up to while you were gone. And you did the same. One bottle of wine turned into two, then you and Bucky laughed at random things while you did the dishes. 
Then you found yourselves in your bed. And like he promised, Bucky made love to you there as well. 
His muscular body hovered above yours. He looked down at you with nothing but love and desire in his eyes as you undid the ridiculous robe to let his cock out. He was hard already. 
“Think I like you a lot in this robe.” You teased. 
Bucky laughed before leaning in for a kiss again. He nibbled along your skin, from your mouth to your neck as he parted your legs and slid into you.  
You gasped as your walls welcomed him perfectly. He was nice and snug inside you, stretching you out in a way that had you whining and whimpering under him in no time. 
Bucky laced your fingers together and pinned both your hands above your head on your pink covers as he sped up into you. Your eyes rolled back once he started moving in and out of you. Taking his sweet time, loving the way his warm skin rubbed against yours. 
He leaned in and kissed your lips again, groaning and panting against your lips as he fucked you slowly. “I love you.” He breathed against your mouth. “So fucking much.” He kissed along your skin and moaned into your ear as he sped up. “I’m sorry it took me so long to say it.” 
“Oh Buck,” You smiled up at him, “I love you.” 
“You’re mine.” He whispered, leaning down to kiss you as he made you come again. 
“And you’re mine.” 
— 
You woke up some time in the middle of the night, thirsty after all that wine from earlier. But the moment you sat up to get out of bed, Bucky woke up too. Asking in his groggy voice, which you had never heard before but concluded that it was kind of hot, “Where are you going? What is it?” 
You smiled and kissed his forehead while getting out of bed, “Just thirsty. I’ll be right back.” 
Bucky got up after you, getting out of bed as well. “I’m coming too.” He said, “I worry this girly room might engulf me if you leave me here alone.” He joked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he followed you out and into the kitchen. 
Truth is, he didn’t want to be apart from you for even a second. 
You handed him a glass of cold water while you put some water to boil to make tea. Some green tea should put the two of you right back to sleep, you thought. 
So there you were in your cosy kitchen, wrapped in a soft blanket. Bucky leaned against the counter watching you. He was shirtless, just in some white, cotton pyjama pants that you lent him. They didn’t fit him at all but something about him in your clothes made him seem adorable. 
You were both quiet. But you could feel Bucky thinking. He looked like he was trying to find the right way to ask you something. You didn’t know what. But he had that little frown on his forehead. You wanted to kiss it away. 
“What is it?” You asked. 
Bucky avoided your eyes, choosing to stare at the floor instead as he asked, “Do you think… I mean, would you ever come back home?” 
Ah. The few moments of silence which followed were heavy. You didn’t like how that question put some kind of metaphorical distance between the two of you. 
So you took a few steps and leaned into him. You placed your hands on his muscular, toned chest and said, “This is home, for me.” You gave him the truth. “That city was never home now that I think about it.” You smiled faintly, “The only good part was you.” 
Bucky nodded. “So,” He began, then stopped to clear his throat and spoke again, “You won’t ever leave this place?” 
You slid your hands up across his skin, feeling the warm, strong muscles underneath your palm. You traced his collar bones, then his neck and finally cupped his face in your hands. He wrapped his arms loosely around your middle. 
“I love it here, Bucky.” You stated. “It’s quiet, and peaceful. It looks boring at first but it’s what I’ve always wanted.” You said. “Plus my grandparents left me this, it’s all I have of them.” You paused for a while, hating that look of hurt in his ocean blue eyes. “I won’t leave. This is my home now.” 
Bucky was quiet. Even his breathing was slow. 
You let go of him, took a step back and said, “Maybe you should head back.” It felt like the words sliced you from the inside. It hurt to even utter them. “You have a life there.” You gave him a sad smile. Followed by a faint chuckle. “Unless you want to take up fishing then I’m afraid there’s nothing for you here.” 
He scoffed. “There’s you.” He said as if that was more than enough. 
“Bucky.” You warned. 
He shook his head, then reached for his phone which he’d forgotten in the kitchen earlier tonight. “Sam will probably fly out here to beat me up when I tell him.” He spoke, none of what he said made sense to you though.
“What are you–,”
“And he’ll have to work twice as much. But he’ll do great, I know. He’s Sam after all, strongest man I know.” Bucky carried on, ignoring your questions as he typed away on his phone. “I’ll do as much as I can from here, maybe fly back to the city once or twice a year to show my face.” 
“Bucky,” You warned again, “What are you talking—,” 
Bucky continued, cutting you off each time you tried to get a word in. “I’ll have to call my people, actually I have a lot of phone calls to make if–,” 
You cut him off this time, stepping closer to him again and grabbing him by his broad shoulders. “What are you talking about?” 
Bucky gave you a lovesick smile. “Well if you’re not going back to the city, neither am I.” He answered. You froze. He continued. “I’ll have to buy us a bigger home somewhere around here. We’ll keep the apartment and bakery of course, but maybe we could use some staff to help with maintenance and to keep the bakery running.” 
He made a mental, makeshift plan while you had silent tears streaming down your face. 
He continued, “We’ll get you back in uni, whichever one you want and whichever offers distance learning because there’s no way I’m letting you live on some campus away from me.” He paused, then said, “I’ll have to actually take up fishing. Maybe I’ll buy a few boats, you know I always wanted to be a yacht broker.” He sounded almost… hopeful. “Retirement sounds nice.” 
You sniffled. “Buck…” 
Bucky kept talking while he gently caressed your back. “I’ll have to learn French,” He groaned, “At this grown age.” He added. “I’ll have to know what's a chocolate croissant and what’s a pain au chocolat if I want to occasionally help out with the bakery. I can’t be uncultured while my wife is this connoisseur, you know? The locals will laugh at me.” 
“Wife?” You questioned through tears and a faint, barely there smile. 
He rolled his eyes. “Baby, I’m wearing your clothes, sleeping in your girly room, eating off of your floral plates.” He explained, “If you don’t marry me, I will lose my reputation.” He joked. 
You laughed, and sobbed as you threw your arms around him, hugging him as tightly as you could. 
“You don’t have to do this.” You spoke through tears. Your heart felt so full, you didn’t know how to handle a man like Bucky changing the course of his life for you. All for you. 
Bucky hugged you back, kissing the top of your head. “I want to.” He said, “I have to. Otherwise you’ll run away again.” He teased. 
You laughed quietly. “I won’t.” You said firmly. 
“Good,” He sighed, squeezing you tightly in his arms before letting go. “Now I have to tell Sam.” He looked genuinely worried. 
You giggled, then leaned in to kiss his cheek. “Tell him in the morning.” You whispered, your hands already trailing down to the waistband of the pyjama pants. 
Bucky chuckled before leaning in to kiss you, deeply. “Okay baby,” He whispered, forgetting everything else as he got lost in you all over again. 
He made love to you right there in the kitchen, sliding in between your legs as you sat on the edge of the counter. Slow and gentle. Kissing you softly, making a mess of you as he made you come over and over and over again. Whispering against your heated skin, your wet, open mouth, “You’re mine…” 
“All yours,” You answered, holding him tightly. Your nails scratching down his back, your skin burning in all the best ways as his beard scratched it each time he kissed you. 
This time, he made you a different promise. 
“If you chose to run again, you better run for your life and pray I never find you, babygirl…” He whispered into your ear as he slid inside you again. His cock made it hard for you to focus on anything else but you tried your hardest to hear him out. “Because I won’t be this kind if I ever have to hunt for you again.” 
You laughed, but ended up moaning as he bit down on your other shoulder this time. Marking you as his again.
5K notes · View notes
afterglowsainz · 5 months
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so it goes… | carlos sainz
summary: carlos has the biggest crush on the famous up and coming actress but she doesn’t know who he is
fc: anya taylor-joy
warnings: this is my first smau so plsss tell me what you think <3 i made it a bit long cause i’m use to write detailed stories but is worth it i swear!! also english is not my first language so there might be mistakes
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ynusername life lately 🧚🏼‍♀️
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user1 she’s so pretty ughhh
user2 y/n please give me just once chance i’m beggin
user3 simping respectfully
carlossainz55 que linda! (so pretty!)
user4 hello??
user5 ariana what are you doing here 😭
bffusername literally my wife 😮‍💨
ynusername me and you forever 🤭
user6 mother
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carlossainz55 great weekend all in all 🏆 podium and good points for the team, ready for the next! 🔜
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user4 let’s gooo smooth operator‼️
user7 forza ferrari 🐎
charlesleclerc great job! double podium next race 👊🏼
user8 brilliant drive carlos!!
user9 VAMOOOOS (let’s go)
user5 okay we see y/n’s best friend in the likes 👀
user10 i think she’s a ferrari fan!
landonorris congrats on the podium or whatever 🙄
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ynusername emma is now on streaming platforms !!! go watch it 🫶🏽
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user1 and they call her the it girl !!!
user2 favorite movie of the year 💞
user3 y/n y/l/n future oscar winner‼️
bffusername GO WATCH MY WIFE’S MOVIE OR ELSE
ynusername you heard her!
carlossainz55 loved the movie!
user4 okay but are we believing he actually saw a romantic period piece or?? 🤨
user5 idk why i kinda believe it solely on the fact that he’s obsessed with y/n 😭
user6 i don’t see the appeal, she’s not all that :/
user4 now i know you did NOT just said that about THE Y/N Y/L/N
user7 y/n drop another movie i’ve already seen this one a thousand times :( (liked by carlossainz55)
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ynusername italian nights 🧿
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bffusername my girlfriend the prettiest of prettiest 🥰
user1 picture at a church and partying with måneskin? ohhh she’s cool cool
user2 carlos i understand you completely
carlossainz55 beautiful!
ynusername thank you! 💕
user3 omg did she actually??
user4 somebody make sure carlos is still alive and breathing pls
user5 finally! my boy has been in the trenches for monthsss
landonorris 👀
user6 now lando what do you know??
(ynusername has started following carlossainz55)
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carlossainz55 summer break 🏁
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user1 well hello there
user2 weird way to ask me to marry you but ofc🤭
user3 not carlos immediately posting a thirst trap after yn followed him 😭
user4 thirst trap seems a bit much…
user3 him just casually posting the most earth shattering hottest pictures out of nowhere??
user4 okay you may have a point
user5 post a warning or something next time jesus
user6 I AM ON MY KNEES PLEASE
user7 dinner would be served, house would be cleaned, kids on bed, anything he wants
ynusername 🥰 (liked by carlossainz55)
carlossainz55 🫶🏽
user8 girl me too
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yourusername beautiful beautiful madrid 🤍
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user1 omg you’re in my city!!!
user2 someone send this to carlos quick!
user3 you’re so beautiful 😻
user4 carlossainz55 my guy this is your chance
user5 you’re STUNNING 🤩
carlossainz55 i need to show you all the nice places🫶🏽 (liked by yourusername)
yourusername omg please!! i need a local tour guide
carlossainz55 😊
user6 omg is this the beginning of something???
user7 i’m shipping them already 🤭
user8 someone check on carlos please‼️
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pumpkin-cake · 1 month
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begging for ANYTHING fix it related for the most recent season !!!
five x reader and they are married?? it would be nice if the reader had a more relaxed job in comparison to five in the CIA (the reader used to also work for the commission but wanted a calm life)
like maybe working in a daycare or flower shop?
i’m honestly begging for anything sweet please if you’ve got the time !
THIS HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD. YES, I WILL WRITE THIS FOR YOU <3 I ALSO HATE THE WAY THEY CHARACTERIZED FIVE IN THE NEW SEASON. This will be very domestic :3 And it's been a while since I've written Five, I hope he's not too out of character, let me know if you have any pointers :3
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The door to your apartment creaks open and heavy footsteps enter, the jangling sounds of house keys hitting the ceramic bowl reaching your ears with a sigh following.
"Good evening, Jerome." You coo.
"I did not pick that name, quit calling me it." Five huffs as he shrugs off his suit jacket, entering the living room. He looked tired, but he was okay with that. He didn't want to settle for some repetitive job he'd be bored as hell at. Even if they gave him stupid aliases like Jerome.
"You could have at least asked. That's embarrassing, telling people your name is Jerome. What about...Ethan? Or even something that's close to Five. Like, Finn, or something." You answered with a chuckle, while Five crumpled on the couch next to you.
"There isn't any point. It's not like you need to go around calling me that name." He said, taking off his tie and laying it across the arm of the sofa. "Anyway, how was work?" He asked, taking off his brown Oxfords and laying them nearby but out of the main walkway. He reached over to the stack of papers on the coffee table and looked at the first page. "Jesus, this is the sloppiest handwriting I've ever seen."
"Ah yes, because children who still have shitty motor skills are going to be writing in perfect print. That's why they only have to write their names, not write full-fledged essays." You said sarcastically, plucking the piece of paper from his hands. You looked over the assignment your kindergarteners were given. The instructions were to count the different types of bugs on the paper. There were no more than 9 of each bug. 4 butterflies, 7 caterpillars, 1 beetle, 8 spiders.
"I was never that dumb." Five said a little snarkily, pointing to the answer spot that said there were only 5 caterpillars.
"Don't be such a prick." You huffed, getting out a blue pen. You didn't like to use red, too harsh. You circled each answer wrong, not making any corrections.
"How are you even meant to teach them this? It's basic counting." Five asked, sort of actually curious.
"We'll just go over it in class tomorrow. Everyone will count together."
"Then what's the point of the homework?"
You groaned. "We are not having this conversation anymore, old man." You pulled out a pack of stickers, putting one on each sheet of paper.
"You're just as old." He countered with a smirk, leaving you to roll your eyes and continue 'grading' the papers. He did shut up and drop the subject, letting his hand stray to your hand that wasn't busy grading papers. He wasn't ever one for physical affection in the past, but ever since getting to this place? He was more lenient. He was never hanging off of you, but his touches were gentler. Each contact of skin was a small way of saying 'I love you', because it was hard to say it out loud after years of isolation.
The biggest way of him saying he loved you was twisting the ring that nicely fit on your finger like he was doing right now. Like he was making sure you were aware of its presence and meaning.
You finished the papers in less than five minutes. You did not envy the fourth-grade teachers who had actual homework to grade. "Your dinner is in the fridge." You told him, taking his other hand and playing with the black band that adorned his ring finger.
"Not hungry." He said shortly, like he was offended you'd ever assume he wanted to do something aside from this. He wouldn't ever say that out loud, of course.
"It's sushi. Made by yours truly." You added, holding back a chuckle when he sucked in a deep breath, very torn between the options. It was weird, able to sit and think about something. He wasn't rushing home to eat and go to bed, he got to do domestic shit with you and fuck did he love it.
"..." Five stayed silent like a brooding teenager.
"I'll come with you." You reasoned, and he reluctantly sat up. You smiled and got up with him, the two of you traversing to the kitchen. He opened the door to the fridge and grabbed the small Tupperware of delicious looking sushi. You were not a fan of Commission cafeteria food, and you took pride in buying the best ingredients for you and your spouse. You were already grabbing him a pair of chopsticks, sitting with him at the kitchen island.
"...thanks." He said after eating a roll. He was stubborn, but he really did appreciate you taking the time to make more for him when he got home late. It was so nice to come home to a homemade meal. It reminded him of Grace.
"Of course, honey." You smiled, sitting in silence while he ate. He savored every moment. After being in the apocalypse for forty years, he really grew to appreciate the things he didn't have. He swore he would never take this life for granted.
He never questioned why, because the whole reason was sitting right next to him.
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mossyivy · 5 months
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NSFW ALPHABET
[DI! Leon S Kennedy Edition]
❗Minors Do Not Interact ❗
A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)
Cuddler, massive cuddler. Honestly I see Leon as enjoying his partner being cuddled up to his chest but as long as you're touching each other he really doesn't mind. He just needs to be grounded after sex because he's not use to intimacy. (Remember y'all, aftercare in important FOR EVERYBODY INVOLVED DOM/SUB/SWITCH WHOEVER!!!)
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)
Definitely proud of his arms. Man's got two pythons where his forearms are supposed to be. I'd be proud of those bitches too. It also doesn't help how often you tend to cling to them, admire them while cuddling up together or compliment how they look when he flexes.
When Leon's asked the good old "tits or ass?" question older than time itself he smirks and simply says thighs. He loves something plush to nap on when he comes home from work. He always says it'll be a quick 30 minute nap but he's always out for 3 hours when he's laying his head on your lap. They're just such a nice pillow and even nicer wrapped around his head.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Usually prefers finishing inside. If not then on your stomach. There's just something mesmerizing about watching his cum slowly drip out of you on down your belly that just makes him so horny that he can't get enough of you.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Okay... So you send Leon pictures and he saves them. (He'd never share them though) But he secretly has an album in his phone labeled as WORK meticulously organization so that when you open the album it has important looking photos but if you scroll far enough it's just things you've sent him. Nudes, videos, even screenshots of steamy texts.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)
Decently experienced. Enough to get him by but also good at listening to his partner. Takes criticism well in the bedroom. Just wants his partner to have a good time and show that he loves you.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
On your side or anything he can see your face. He's often tired so slow easy strokes on his side and using his hands is right up his alley. But for when he's feeling more energetic he's definitely up anything he can see your reaction with. He aims to please and the man is a good shot.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Definitely 50/50. Leon can crack jokes when his life is at risk I'm sure he'd probably say something goofy to make you laugh or even something stupid like "come here often?" When you're changing positions and his creaky body pops or cracks he'll say some smart ass comment about the bed makes weird sounds again.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Definitely trimmed. Leon doesn't strike me as a massively hairy guy to begin with. But what hair he does have is well kept.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Intimacy is his favorite part of it all. Very tender and soft compared to what he is during work. Enjoys the touching the most. He's very touch starved. Cuddle him and he'll melt into a puddle. He LOVES being little spoon.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Jerks off often. Uses it as a stress relief thing but doesn't do it as often when he gets a partner. But I do think when he's away on cases and he has downtime at night he tends to call his partner and have phone sex.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Begging, biting, breeding, dirty talk, edging and roleplaying
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Anywhere at home. Leon would most likely be super hesitant about doing anything outside of the house and risking criminal record.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
His partners touch. Leon just really likes being touched. If you mostly just kiss him and move to his neck (it's sensitive, that's why he rarely wears anything that constricts his neck) you'll get him going in no time.
N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)
No hitting, nothing with feet, no bathroom related stuff, no voyeurism or exhibitionism and no humiliation
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
50/50. But definitely more giving in the oral department. Uses it as a form of foreplay. Enjoys it because he loves hearing your slowly break and cry for him.
Sometimes he's just to exhausted to fuck so those are the times he'll just straight up tell you to sit on his face. He doesn't care if you're bigger, he knows you're not gonna hurt him. If you try hovering her will definitely wrap his arms around your thighs and pull you down on him. The man is skilled with his mouth and hands. So be prepared for the time of your life.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Definitely slow sensual type of guy. He likes making every moment last. But there's definitely been a flurry of passion after gets back from particularly long cases.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
If he has to go out for work and he has a little bit of time before leaving, most definitely he'd be down for a quickie.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He's fine with experimenting but not often.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Good for 3 rounds unless he's super tired. Last decently long, always makes sure his partner gets off first each time.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Oh Leon definitely owns one of those vibrators that work with apps. Sometimes when he's due to come home and he knows you have it in you he'll just tease you on the way home.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Usually Leon doesn't tease but when he's in a particular frisky mood, he will make beg to cum. And he doesn't care if you want it. If you don't beg like he wants he will make you wait and keep bringing you to the edge over and over like an asshole.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Not loud in the slightest but he's definitely not scared to moan or whimper. Even curse under his breath, especially if he has you on your side and he's right in your ear.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Said I love you for the first time during sex. Was mortified with himself, he meant it but was extremely embarrassed. Apologized profusely and told you he did mean it. And thankfully you love him back, obviously.
X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)
Ah yes, python 3. I'll be honest, I'd say he's at the higher average end in size but makes up for it in girth... Like a fucking coke can.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Leon had little to no sex drive but once you two got into a relationship he's like a teenage boy again. Can barely stop from wanting you all the time. But he's still more of the romantic intimate type and would rather just exist with you than constantly be at each other.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He clings onto life afterwards. Just wants to make sure you're taken care of but the second you relax against him he's down for the count. Like a god damn bear in hibernation.
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luvyeni · 11 days
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( drabble ) my beautiful muse ̨ ! ୨୧ 一 황현진 ՞
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⸃ ⸰ ⌁ you're his beautiful muse and he'd do anything to keep his muse safe ヾ
yandere!hyunjin・ fem!reader ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ g ・ yandere, smut ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ cw ・ ‎ unprotected sex‎, breeding kink, dirty talk, talks of killing wc・ ‎0.7k ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎| ‎ ‎click to library
request. can i request a yandere smut with hyunjin please 💕
「 ୨୧ authors note 」 enjoy<3
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a collector of art; that's what hyunjin was. he collected many pretty art pieces and other things he deemed as beautiful — that's why when he saw you , he knew he had to have you; you were his new muse.
you weren't allowed to leave; no , hyunjin didn't want the horrors of the world to tarnish his pretty masterpiece — so you stayed at home while he went out and sold his paintings, earning enough money to buy you pretty clothes, that's the only thing that mattered to him , keeping you looking pretty for him; he even took makeup class , and learned how to do hair so he could make you all pretty , so he can spend his free time painting his pretty muse.
“can i move now?” you sat on the stool , hair done to the nines , a new expensive dress. “not yet , im almost finished.” he said , dipping his paintbrush into the paint. “but im tired.” you whined , he sighed. “okay baby , okay just let me take a picture of you , i can use this as a reference for now.” he pulled out his polaroid camera , which he used to capture photos of you , it was quick and easy , but he loved to paint you the most , he believed it to be more beautiful. “there we go baby , we can stop now.”
“i think this one can go into my next exhibit,” he said. “as much as i don't think the world deserves to see you, this can't just stay here , they need to see you , how i have the most prettiest piece at home.” “can i go with you to see it?”
he hated that question , frowning while looking at you. “you know the answer to that.” he said , you nodded. “yeah i know i just thought — that's why we don't that baby you know you aren't the best at that.” he sat the photo down , walking over to you. “you look so pretty baby.” his hands coming up to your bare shoulders. “i dress you up so nicely don't i?” he hummed. “do your makeup so pretty?” he dragged his arm down to the back of the dress where the zipper was. “you don't need to go out , all you have to do is stay here and be pretty.”
the dress falling to your waist; you perfect tits on display. “so pretty , let's take this back to the room okay.” you nodded obediently , following behind him as he guided you to your shared room .
rocking his hips; his cock dragging in and out of you, he had been at this for a few hours now , you never had to work when it comes to fucking hyunjin , much like your everyday life he did everything ; eating out until your yanking at his hair , closing your head around his head. then he'd finger you , preparing you for his cock while also pulling another orgasm out of you.
by time he pulls his cock out , you're already in tears , and he loves this , you're the prettiest when you're teary eyed from his cock. “pretty pretty baby.” he cooed , “such a cry baby for my cock , you like it.” he groaned , stretching you out with his cock. “my muse , all mines.”
“hyu-hyunjin.” you moaned , his fingers toying with your clit , your eyes rolling to the back of your head. “prettier than anything i've ever painted.” he cursed. “got-gotta keep you here , so they won't hurt you.” he began to plow into you much harder. “fuck , fuck i'll kill anyone who looks at you.” he moaned , gripping your wrist pinning them to the bed. “that's why i can't let you outside -fuck- im afraid of what might happen; what i might do if someone who looks at what mines.”
as he pounded into you , you opened your eyes for a split second , and you could see in his eyes, they looked dark , like he actually meant what he was saying. “you’re mine aren't you.” he sped up. “all fucking mines.” you nodded. “all yours hyune , fuck!”
“then you wouldn't mind carrying my baby?” he groaned. “you'd look the most beautiful carrying my child , stuck to me forever.” he moaned. “gonna cum inside you.”
pinning you down; his hips snapped against you. “hyune gonna cum.” you moaned. “good , cum with me , cum for me while i breed your pretty pussy.” he groaned. “cum for me.” you gasped out , cumming , he fucked into a few more times before cumming deep inside you with a loud groan. “fuck!”
“gonna make sure it sticks.” he said. “no one's gonna hurt you.” he said , kissing your forehead. “i won't allow it.”
“my beautiful muse.”
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star-wrote · 2 months
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Pretty Little Distraction
ao3 link
Characters: Sam Winchester x Fem!Reader | Early Seasons
Summary: After boring yourself while researching lore, you decide Sam needs a well-deserved break.
Warnings: SMUT, reader wears a slip dress and thigh highs, cussing, oral (fem! receiving), dirty talk (but it’s nice bc Sammy), P in V, slight breeding k!nk, dean interrupts, allusions to aftercare, established relationship
A/N: okay so sam winchester LOVES thigh highs. if you have any sam winchester requests, ideas, or even thoughts feel free to send them in! i’m completely obsessed with him at the moment! <3
Word Count: 2079
18+
(lace divider from @strangergraphics )
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Researching lore was fun at first; cracking open the books and the laptops, diving headfirst into the realm of mythology and folklore, and even the crappy vending machine snack breaks. However, after three hours of nonstop eyestrain, it became downright boring.
“Saaaam,” you whined as you shut your laptop harder than you should’ve, “I need to do something else, I’m going insane.”
Sam didn’t look up from his laptop, used to your usual begging for a break. He knows that you have a different stamina than he does when it comes to research. He’s been doing it his whole life, not to mention the hours of studying in college.
You let out an exaggerated sigh at his lack of attention, which earned you an annoyed glance from your boyfriend sitting across the rickety motel table. When his gaze returned to the apparently very important information on his laptop, you abruptly stood up, cracked your back, and flopped face down onto the bed you shared with Sam.
Remembering two hours ago, when Dean clocked out of research after only an hour, you thought about how unfair it was that he got to go out and have fun at the local bar while you and Sam were stuck doing more research in the motel room. You and Sam deserved to have fun too! Especially Sam, who has been more stressed on this case than usual due to the high amount of deaths. If you haven’t found a solution yet, you probably weren’t going to find one tonight.
You lifted your head from the cheap comforter as an idea popped into your head. Quickly, you grabbed your bag and headed for the bathroom without even a glance from Sam.
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After five minutes of putting your outfit on, you looked in the mirror. Your body was hugged with a short, cream colored slip dress. A knitted pair of thigh highs with lace trim adorned your legs. It wasn’t over the top lingerie, but that’s exactly why Sam found it sexy.
A shiver ran through you as you recalled the last time you wore thigh highs in bed with Sam. You were about to take them off with the rest of your clothes, but he had caught your hand and begged you to keep them on. He spent an eternity between your thighs that night, the lace trim tickling his skin in the most perfect way.
You took a deep breath and exited the bathroom, leaving your insecurities behind you. Sam was right where you left him, sitting in the wooden chair that was way past its expiration date. Except this time, his eyes immediately find you standing in the doorway like it was some kind of picture frame.
His lips part as he trails his vision down your body, stopping on your thighs and the lace that appears at the top of your knee. You smile as you slowly walk over to him and stand between his legs that automatically widen for you.
“I must’ve fallen asleep,” he says as he leans into your palm that cups his cheek, “I’m dreaming.”
You giggle as you pinch his cheek and whisper, “Nope, wide awake.”
He smiles in response and runs his hands down your waist to your hips.
“Then maybe I died and went to heaven since I’m seeing an angel.”
Rolling your eyes, you pull him in for a kiss. He breathes out through his nose as he cups the back of your head. You pull back from his lips and kiss his nose.
“You needed a break, I had to pull you away.”
He looks back to his laptop for a second, hesitating only slightly before closing it.
“How could I resist such a pretty little distraction?”
You gasp in fake shock. “You really think I’m pretty?”
His lips quirk up. “The prettiest… now come here.”
He pulls you closer by your waist, and lifts you like a feather for you to straddle his lap. His lips are back on yours in an instant, but not for long as he trails his kisses down to your jaw and to your neck, brushing back your hair for easier access. He gently sucks on your pulse point. Not enough to leave a mark, (though he desperately wants to) but enough to make you let out a small moan at the feeling.
Sam chuckles into your neck at your reaction and starts to rock your hips into the bulge slowly growing in his jeans. You bite into his shoulder and pull on the waves of his hair near his neck. He comes up from your neck and lets out a low groan as he rocks you harder against him.
Suddenly, you hear the chair below you start to squeak in rhythm with your grinding. Before you stop, Sam whispers in your ear, “Ignore it.”
You keep moving your hips, but the squeaking grows louder and the chair starts to sway with each thrust.
“Sam,” you giggle out, “I think we’re going to break this goddamn chair.”
Sam stops moving your hips and lets out another groan, this time an annoyed one. He chuckles as he rests his forehead against your shoulder.
“Fine,” he says as he stands up from the chair with you clutching onto him. “To the bed then.”
He walks the two steps it takes for his long legs to reach the foot of the bed, kisses the top of your head, and then tosses you onto the mattress.
You land with a loud laugh but quickly direct your attention back to Sam, who was taking his shirt off at the end of the bed. He smirks as he sees you bite your lower lip at the sight of his bare upper body. His eyes run down your body, stopping on your thigh highs once again while he unbuckles his belt.
You bend your knees and allow your legs to fall apart, revealing a sight of no panties under your slip dress to Sam. His breathing grows heavier as he zeros in on the new surprise that you just exposed to him.
Once his pants and boxers have joined his shirt on the floor, he kisses your ankle. Then your shin. The little scar on your knee. Multiple kisses up your inner thigh.
He fully lays down on the bed and peels your slip dress up your hips, leaving the small amount of fabric bunched around your waist. He lifts your covered thighs over his broad shoulders; a position all too familiar.
He blows out a cold current of air onto your glistening pussy and you welcome a shudder of anticipation to flow through your body. Hazel eyes that looked more brown in this moment than gold, green, or blue met your own eyes. Those same puppy dog eyes watch you as he licks a stripe up your slit. His eyes close as he tastes you for the first time tonight. It had been too long.
Sam immediately gets to work on eating you out. His hands fiddle with the lace trim of your thigh highs while his tongue laps up the wetness that you produce for him. His eyes stay closed, brows furrowed, and his hips start gently thrusting into the mattress below him, causing you to moan out at the scene unfolding in front of you. All because of you.
Because of you, Sam is almost drowning in between your legs. And because of him, you’re gushing.
Your climax arrives too quickly. It always does with Sam. The feeling of pure sin washes over you as you gasp out Sam’s name with a collection of “thank you’s.” He only stops after your legs relax around his head. He leaves a kiss on your puffy clit and quickly moves up your body to kiss your lips.
“I need to feel you, angel,” Sam breathes out between rushed kisses.
You nod as you whisper out, “Please?”
He smiles against your lips. “So polite.”
You can feel him reach a hand down to his cock, stroking it once before pressing into you.
Sam was always gentle during this moment. He has to know that he’s big. He slowly gives you inch by inch, instructing you to breathe when he gets down to the last few. He lets out a groan as he buries himself fully to the hilt.
He pauses to let you get used to him as he kisses all around your face, ever the sweetheart.
“Don’t think I tell you enough how much I like these.” Sam snaps the lace of the thigh highs against your skin, leaving a pleasant burn.
“I kinda figured it out last time.” You clench around his length at the thought. “You were so hot, Sam. You always are.”
He laughs breathlessly. “You’re getting riled up, baby.”
He slowly pulls his length out, and even more slowly pushes it back in.
“Sam…fuck.” You let out the loudest moan of the night.
“There she is.” He grunts as his thrusts get more forceful.
You wrap your arms around his neck and moan into his ear, begging him to give you more. And of course he does, because it’s Sam. He gives you anything you ask for.
“Fuck, angel. I’m so deep.” Sam brings his hand down to press on your lower stomach, making you moan. “You feel that, baby?”
You could almost cry at the feeling of him so deep inside of you. You wish he would stay inside of you forever. You wish that you could become one.
The hand that was pressing on your belly goes lower and starts circling your sensitive clit. Your hands grab handfuls of the bedsheets under you as Sam gives you more and more pleasure with every passing second.
Sam’s other hand pulls down the loose strap of your slip dress and kisses the newly exposed skin of your collarbone area. He pulls the dress down even further to free your nipple, which he swiftly licked and then took into his mouth.
You brought a hand to his head and pulled back on his hair, directing his mouth to yours for a sloppy kiss. The pace of his thrusts quickened, causing the bed to squeak on its four wooden legs and hit the wall every so often. The sound didn’t even register to either of you who were so lost in each other.
“M’ close, baby,” Sam grunts out, his accent growing thicker. “M’ gonna cum deep inside of you, honey.”
You moaned at his words. “Please, Sammy. Need you to fill me up.”
Those words caused Sam to bury himself deep inside of you, let out the lowest groans, and release in your tight walls.
The feeling of his hot cum shooting into you triggered your second and final orgasm of the night. This time, you press your lips to Sam’s again; more panting into each other’s mouths than a kiss.
Sam falls into your arms, and you welcome the weight of the giant man on top of you. You comb your fingers through his hair as his thumb traces circles into your hips. You both soak in the feeling of complete love for each other.
Suddenly, the door opens as a drunk Dean walks in with his hand over his eyes. “Jeez you guys, I’ve been waiting for ten minutes. Could hear you from down the hall.”
You burst out laughing as Sam yells at Dean to get out.
Dean turns around and pulls the door shut as he yells over his shoulder, “Get dressed so I can sleep, you freaks!”
You giggle at the bitch face that Sam couldn’t hide. Your thumbs automatically gravitate to his face to smooth out the grumpy lines between his eyebrows.
“Every time!” You say, referring to Dean interrupting your post-sex cuddles.
Sam smiles. “Maybe we should put a sock on the door next time.”
You giggle and give an alternative solution, “Or, a sign that says if the bed’s rockin’ don’t come knockin’ jerk.”
Sam smiles and gets up from you, putting his hand out for you to grab. “Come on, let’s get dressed.”
“Sam, I don’t think I can walk.” You take his hand anyway, just to hold it.
He wastes no time in picking you up bridal style and carrying you to the bathroom where your bag still sat. “I’ll take care of you.”
You were sure he could see the cartoon heart eyes that you made for him.
“You always do.”
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sant-riley · 2 years
Text
[Random Task force 141 × gen z! member headcanons]
A/N: Reader goes by the codename Teddy in my writing! Along with she/her pronouns :) I am also extremely biased with Ghost so her main pairing is more towards with him compared to the others <3. I know absolutely nothing about the military so this is not accurate I am so sorry💀.
CWs: Dark Humor, Age gaps, Simping, crude humor, cursing. (not sure what else but lmk!)
Chances are, you're the youngest in the entirety of Task Force 141. Just a good couple of years younger than Gaz.
When Laswell brought her in to meet the group, they couldn't help but stare at her in confusion. A tiny girl who couldn't have been older than any of them. Soap couldn't help but chuckle while Ghost nudged him in the side to shut him up.
"This is your new rookie on the team, her callsign is Teddy. Treat her well."
All the men nodded, watching the younger woman shyly smile and wave towards them.
First they realized that her humor was, in Ghost's words, fucked.
Any minor inconvenience had her saying she wanted to be hit by a car or some type of bodily harm, Price quickly whirling around with eyes widened. "Now, I don't think that warranted that kind of response, don't you think?" "Oh it definitely did, Captain." And she'd walk away without another word.
He swears he gets gray hairs from everytime you make casual talk of you dying. He actively tells the others to check on you bc he genuinely don't know if you're serious or not.
Ghost is not up to date with shit, man uses no social medias oncesoever so everything she spouts is wildly out of pocket. References to basic things like tiktok, Twitter, Instagram? He just silently stares at you like you're on drugs. You can't really use your personal phone on base but you try your best to explain memes to him. He sighs and rubs his forehead with a groan of "I'm too old for this shit, teds." "Oh come on! You have to at LEAST know the meme about the marines eating crayons!" "What the fuck are you on about?
The only ones who know vaguely what the fuck you're on about sometimes are Gaz and Soap, despite them still being a few years older.
Granted, they are not caught up with everything but they actively make it a point on leave to try and be up to date bc of you and your mannerisms. Plus it makes you happy when they fire back a quote they learned.
Can yall imagine Soap on tiktok, what random shit he'd have on his fyp bc he doesn't know how the algorithm works 😭.
Teddy has made every single one of them a personal playlist when she does have her phone, Soap once caught her adding songs and hasn't stopped teasing her since. Price and Ghost pretend not to care and barks at Soap to leave her alone but they're equally curious. Ghost contemplates stealing her phone to see it.
Doesn't matter how serious or dark their job may be, you simp for fictional characters, loudly. Price has learned to tune it out, Ghost although slightly jealous, finds it endearing, Gaz and Soap indulge you and will actively ask about why you like the characters you do and how much you love them bc they like to see you excited. It's a nice feeling when they're always in life or death missions.
You're the smallest one in here okay, everyone can easily throw you without batting an eye so they all take turns training you! They all despite knowing you can take care of yourself, would still like to teach you all they know so should you come against a taller/stronger opponent, you'll be okay.
You are the most protected person in the entire squad, esp when going out for drinks, Ghost will put you in the middle between him and Price and basically make a wall of muscle around you. He says he doesn't care and that he just doesn't want to be pestered by creepy people coming up to you but he will literally stare down any man or woman who even tries. He is the creepy one in everyone else's scenario. Soap just laughs and tosses back his drink.
They all notice your ticks and tells, seeing your leg start to shake when you're anxious, when you start cracking your fingers when you're restless, how you will avoid eye contact at any cost. They start to find ways to soothe you in their own ways. Price will give you a pat on your shoulder, sending you a smile.
Gaz nudges you with his body to take your attention off the situation, or he'll simply start asking you random dumbass questions just to see your face change.
Soap will, if he has gotten permission before, just pick you up and throw you over his shoulder, running around with you while you scream for him to let you go. Is also not against tickling you straight up to get you to smile.
Ghost tried to be as subtle as he can be. If yall are sitting close to each other, he'll make sure some part of his body is gently pressed against yours. Whether it be his foot, thigh, hand, some part of him will ground you. You try and reassure him that you know he doesn't care for personal touch but he just says to shut up.
Meeting Graves was a trip, for everyone involved besides you and Grave. Absolutely having no control over calling him a irl Fix it Felix. You were on Graves shitlist and honestly you wouldn't be surprised he betrayed yall for that one comment bc of how angry it made him.
Constantly being told to be quiet, but you cannot help it and will make little quips over comms. Ghost takes after you and starts to say horrible "dad" jokes that make you choke trying to hold back. Soap hates both of you and calls you unfunny.
They realize you're impulsive, especially when you show the amount of tattoos you have.
"I joined the military to fund my tattoo addiction." "You know what? That's not even a surprise."
Going home on leave is always a bitter experience, you never look excited to go home. So one of the guys (usually ghost) will offer you to come with them. It helps 3/4 all live somewhere in England so it's easy to see them/ take trips to their place.
They're all attached despite knowing better. They can't help it and they know they care for you so much more than other force members.
Ghost and Soap bristle when Alejandro makes a mention that he'd offer you a spot in his team, impressed with how you can take opponents twice your size.
"¿Te interesaría quedarte en México?"
"The Hell she will."
-
If you'd like to be tagged in future works, please comment under my rules that are pinned to my blog!
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ambrosiagourmet · 4 months
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Hey, Kabru and Mithrun spend some interesting time together, don't they?
With Mithrun having just officially premiered in the anime, and a lot of discussions swirling around about him, I've been thinking a lot about that section of the story quite a bit. These chapters - Roasted Walking Mushroom and 6 Days - are some of my favorites. For a lot of reasons, really. Not only are they are a huge turning point for the story as a whole, but they have some excellent character work, and represent an important shift in Kabru and Mithrun's individual arcs and relationship to each other.
The chapters are also kind of a fully contained story arc just on their own, which is an impressive bit of writing, and makes them super fun to analyze. So that's exactly what I'm going to do!
This will be structured as a close reading of chapters 61 & 62, with some asides for additional important context. I'm going to talk a little bit about a reading that I disagree with, but for the most part I just want to focus on how Kabru and Mithrun's relationship progresses during these two chapters. In particular, the ways they both grow from the time they spend together.
Also I just want to quickly note that this isn't written as Ship Content. It's meant to be an analysis of their relationship as presented in the text - layer whatever additional meanings and filters on top of that as you'd like, but please respect that my intent is not to talk about or champion a ship, or frame any of this content as romantic.
So, with that all being said:
How do Kabru and Mithrun help each other?
First of all, I think there are two important pieces of context that inform the Kabru & Mithrun Dungeon Adventure chapters. Both are related to Kabru's state of mind, and both are set up before or during the chapters in question.
The first is the context of what happened just before Kabru and Mithrun fell into the dungeon. Specifically, the events that led Kabru to make them fall.
Kabru, essentially, gives up his life at the end of chapter 55. When he stops Mithrun, and when they both plummet with the collapse of the first floor, he is okay with dying. Mithrun warns him that they will both die if Kabru doesn't let him go, and Kabru accepts this as a worthwhile exchange.
Why?
Well, because he doesn't want the elves to take over the dungeon. Throughout the last 3 chapters, the Canaries have been effective, but they have also been cruel in their efficiency, and they have made it clear that they don't care about collateral damage. They lured people into the dungeon specifically to provoke a violent reaction from it, without regard for who might get hurt by the violence.
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What's more, they are keeping important information from Kabru, and he knows it.
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He's not just looking for a solution, he's looking for the truth - a truth that he believes that he will only find through conquering the dungeon. With good reason, to be fair! The elves make it very clear that they aren't there to treat the other races on the Island as equals.
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So Kabru uses the only tool he has available to him - his own life. It won't get him the truth, but it at least gives a chance for another person from a short-life species (namely, Laios) to earn it in his place.
This dovetails nicely with the more thematic context that's introduced in at the start of chapter 61: the room where he could eat all the cake he wanted.
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This place, a place that Kabru never wants to go back to, is a place where he is safe, and a place where he is ignorant. A place where he is sheltered from danger, but also from the truth. The same place the Island would become, if the Canaries had their way. He doesn't just want to be safe, and he doesn't even just want the world to be safe, though he does want to be able to protect people from what happened in Utaya.
But he doesn't just want to entrust that safety to the paternalism of the elves (especially since he is all too aware of the ways they can fail, or the people they are willing to sacrifice in the name of that "safety"). He wants to be given the agency to seek safety and peace for himself.
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He wants to understand. And he wants the chance to act.
This is the context we have, going into the arc of 61 & 62. But before I talk about how the chapters build on this context, I want to take a step back and look at what else the chapters establish early on, before delving into their exploration of Kabru's agency.
First of all, I kind of want to challenge the framing of Kabru and Mithrun's relationship as solely that of a caretaker and his charge.
Obviously, Kabru is forced into a caretaker position - at the threat of his friend's safety, no less. (Okay, it's actually Toshiro and Namari that are being held, but still. There are hostages involved in this) But I do think it's important that Mithrun isn't the one who puts Kabru in this position - Cithis is.
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Before this conversation, Kabru and Mithrun are already exploring the dungeon together. Mithrun doesn't threaten Kabru, or force his hand. He kind of just assumes that Kabru will join him. It's rude, and not particularly respectful, but given the dangers of navigating a dungeon alone, I don't think that's really an unreasonable assumption. And it certainly isn't the same as Cithis' approach.
If they were left alone with no intervention, they probably would have ended up in a similar position to the one that Cithis leveraged them into. Kabru is smart, and he could have figured out the things that Mithrun needed help with. And, to be clear, those are things that Mithrun needs help with not because he is selfish or thinks they are owed to him, but because he is disabled. It's not unreasonable for him to need that help, and it's not unreasonable for Kabru to provide it, under the circumstances.
Besides, they both need each other down there. Kabru wouldn't have survived without Mithrun - he doesn't know enough about monsters, and isn't familiar with the deeper dungeon's layout. And Mithrun wouldn't survive without Kabru - he isn't able to notice his basic needs and would burn himself out without food or rest, making him an easy target for the monsters he could otherwise take care of on his own.
Aside from both needing each other, another interesting layer to their relationship, which is established right away, is that Kabru doesn't have to - and literally cannot - put on a mask of social niceties around Mithrun. He can't suck up. It doesn't work.
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So Kabru, who spends so much of his time concerned with how others perceive him, and who compromises his own comfort in order to become the most appealing version of himself at any given time, has that tool taken away. He has to help Mithrun, but notably, he can only help Mithrun to a certain point. He cannot compromise his open and honest feelings to help maintain someone else's view of the world - or at very least, it doesn't benefit him at all to do so.
Instead, they sit together, in the same position, share the same shitty mushroom dinner, because they both have to:
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And that's notable, too. They both have to. Cithis' demand is most specific about the need to eat. Three meals a day! But this is something they both need, not just Mithrun.
Still, their relationship at this point still isn't exactly supportive, or even respectful. Kabru may have realized that he didn't need to keep up an act around Mithrun, but ya know, he still turns around an immediately try to, with that shitty mushroom dinner.
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(The 'badly drawn shapeshift Kabru' gag here isn't just funny, imo, it's also a reminder of the thing he JUST LEARNED. Mithrun is immune to the Kabru smile anime sparkles filter.)
Mithrun also doesn't tell Kabru any helpful information at this point, and doesn't really put much effort into helping him at all. He slaps him awake out of a Nightmare, and treats him with the same disregard he did at the start of the chapter, focused entirely on moving ahead.
But then Mithrun collapses, and the current structure of their relationship collapses with him.
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I think it's interesting here that the shift in their dynamic also includes Mithrun explicitly noticing Kabru's desires. Obviously it's not actually like some kind of I truly see you and recognize your humanity moment shared between them, but I do still like the way that it pulls Kabru's internal wants to the surface. Kabru not voicing his desires doesn't mean they don't exist, and Mithrun recognizes that the same way the dungeon does.
And then Mithrun does, in fact, grant one of Kabru's deepest desires. He tells Kabru the truth.
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Just like how they are working together in the first place, this truth is as much a necessary concession to survival as anything. But that doesn't mean it's not impactful for Kabru. This is the thing that every other elf in his life has kept from him. A secret foundational to his core belief that long-life and short-life species can never come to mutual understanding.
And Mithrun isn't just giving him the bare minimum information here. What he shares isn't just a truth, it's his truth. It's a level of complete and total vulnerability that few people share with each other. And again - some of this may just be coincidence and necessity. I imagine Mithrun is so open, at least in part, because he doesn't have the same barriers that other people do when it comes to sharing these things.
But, then again... we see Mithrun at his most vulnerable and empathetic when he is talking to dungeon lords & potential dungeon lords, and trying to convey to them the truth of the trap they are walking into.
This face:
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Is very similar to this face:
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These are some of the few instances that we see Mithrun emote in this way, and his story does come just after he notices the dungeon responding to Kabru's desires.
But, no matter if Mithrun's openness is in response to Kabru being tangled in the dungeon's hunger, or just part of his nature (or, maybe, a little of both), his story changes things for Kabru. It gives him the chance to make actual choices, now that he understands the truth. It gives him a chance at agency in the story.
And he immediately turns around and uses some of that agency in an interesting way:
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When asked about why he can't sleep, Mithrun says he needs to be magically compelled. Being magicked to sleep is simple, and it is efficient, but he doesn't even just say it's the best option. He seems to believe it is the only option.
So much in Mithrun's recovery has been framed through how it will let him fight the demon. Recover so that you can return to the dungeon. Sleep so that you can return to the dungeon. Eat so that you can return to the dungeon.
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But rest, much like eating, isn't just about achieving the bare minimum required for efficiency. And as Senshi would probably say, the easiest path isn't always the best.
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I don't think that the Canaries are intentionally running Mithrun ragged or anything, but as I mentioned earlier, they are very focused on efficiency, with little thought spared to what is lost or hurt in the process.
And there is something different about Mithrun's time with Kabru in the dungeon. Lycion even notes it, when they finally connect back up.
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I don't think it's a huge leap to say that how Mithrun falls asleep here is emblematic of that difference. When Kabru helps Mithrun to sleep by massaging his feet, rather then using magic, he is explicitly taking a step beyond the minimum. He is providing comfort to a body that has been given only necessities for a long, long time.
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These two events - Mithrun sharing the truth of the dungeon with Kabru, and Kabru choosing to help Mithrun to sleep through a foot massage - shift their relationship. There's a clear difference in how we see them treat each other, and especially in how Mithrun treats Kabru.
Before, Kabru provides food that he has gathered himself (okay, it was a mushroom he put his foot through on floor one, but the point still stands that Mithrun offered no help at all with getting food).
Afterwards, they gather food together.
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Before, Mithrun teleports Kabru towards a monster, using him as a weapon when he can't find anything else.
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Afterwards, he helps Kabru escape monsters, and fights them directly.
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Before, he slaps Kabru awake after 5 hours of uncomfortable, Nightmare-filled sleep. A rest which, notably, Kabru didn't even intend to take for himself.
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Afterwards, we see Mithrun keeping watch while Kabru sleeps in a bedroll.
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I don't necessarily think that all of these things are choices that Mithrun consciously makes. Like, after 6 days, Kabru would have to get some actual sleep eventually, and Mithrun would pretty obviously have to keep watching during that time.
Nonetheless, there's still a difference in how these scenes are framed, and the fact that it is these things that are used to portray their journey together. Kabru is not the sole person providing food and sleep and safety - they provide these things for each other. Kabru eats alongside Mithrun, hunts alongside Mithrun, and he sleeps in the same way we see Mithrun sleep, laying down and resting deeply enough to be groggy when woken up.
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What's more, during their time together, there are even a couple of instances of Kabru being more willing to care for himself and accept care. The sleeping is one example - note how he is surprised at having slept "that long" when told he was asleep for less than even the minimum recommended amount of nightly sleep - but I think the pattern of his eating is even clearer. In making sure that Mithrun eats regularly, he is forced to eat regularly too.
And I especially like the progression with the Barometz meal. After Mithrun has fallen asleep, Kabru thinks about wanting to "give [Mithrun] something nice to eat," but also notes that Mithrun's lack of desire "means there isn't even anything he wants to eat." So what does Kabru do?
He makes Mithrun something that he wants to eat.
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I've already talked a bit about the ways that Dungeon Meshi depicts people finding support through "borrowing" the desires of the people who care for them, and I think this scene is a great example of that idea. Especially in the way that it pulls an expression of desire from Kabru, who is so prone to ignore his own hunger and needs. The meal may not end up anywhere close to the flavor intended, but it's still a far cry from the roasted walking mushroom.
All of these pieces come together at the end of chapter 62, resulting in a pivotal choice that could only happen because of the ways Kabru and Mithrun have, at least a little bit, grown closer to each other.
As they are preparing to leave, Kabru hears a bell ringing in the dungeon, just as he hears Toshiro's matching bell on the other side of the portal. Realizing Laios is nearby, Kabru hesitates. He knows the truth about the demon, and how he has a chance to act on it.
Cithis, the person who extorted Kabru into taking care of Mithrun in the first place, pushes for Mithrun to follow along with the plan.
(okay a quick aside here I just want to say I do love Cithis and I'm not trying to bash on her here. I just think it's interesting that she is the one to establish the terms of Mithrun & Kabru's cooperation, as well as the one who tells Mithrun to leave the dungeon at the end of the chapter)
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But Mithrun doesn't go along with her command. Instead, he does something unexpected:
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He asks what Kabru wants to do.
In contrast to Milsiril's smothering comfort,
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and in contrast to his Mithrun's own assumption that Kabru will follow him, when they first wake up in the dungeon,
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Mithrun follows Kabru's lead.
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This, right here, is the change between them. Not only that, but it's a shift in the entire balance of agency in the dungeon. For what might be the first time in a very long time, Kabru - a tall-man - knows the truth, and is acting on it. He makes a huge decision purely on his own judgement. He is not trying to appease or coerce anyone, and he doesn't win Mithrun over by hiding his true intentions.
Rather, it's the honesty between them that builds to this moment. Mithrun's honesty earns Kabru's trust, and Kabru's honesty earns Mithrun's respect. They bond not because they are forced to spend time together, but because they choose to spend that time giving each other more than the bare minimum - even when they are both people used to accepting the bare minimum.
It echoes Laios' argument with Toshiro, in a way. They eat three square meals a day (Cithis mandated admittedly), they get plenty of sleep, and in doing these things, they take each other seriously. They treat each other as more than just a means to an end.
I don't necessarily think it's a flawless, unbreakable bond that's built during this time - hell, they both kind of revert back to their old behavior, once reunited with the rest of the Canaries. People don't completely change their habits overnight, after all.
But it is a shift. It's a shift that gives Kabru the chance to steer the story towards the ending he has fought for all his life, and it's a shift that helps Mithrun find a way to move forward after he loses his own reason for living. They reach their goals, and then they step past them - facing life beyond the moments they thought defined their reasons for living. Facing life beyond the bare minimum.
And that is how they help each other.
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Text
Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~1.3k
Warnings: none
Summary: You’re plagued by the kid who lives in your neighborhood, the kid you know has a crush on you. You left town, you lived your life without him, and now you’re staring at him face to face after years. Something about him has changed and now you can’t help but want him back.
Square Filled: art student au for @spencerreidbingo
Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3
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x
Then
As soon as the last bell at school rings, you race off campus to start the walk home. It’s not a far walk but you enjoy the silence you get from it. Your house is filled with little brothers and sisters and it’s hard to get a moment of peace. Your parents do the best they can but you know it’s hard for them. You’re the oldest so you’re expected to help out which is why you also enjoy your time alone.
You walk around the corner and notice the sixth house down from yours with the garage open. You’re not sure how you feel but something washes over you knowing what’s going to come next. Maybe it’s annoyance or irritation or indifference but the same thing happens every single time you walk home from school.
The only kid that lives there, Spencer Reid, loves to come out and walk with you the rest of the way to your house. He’s a nice kid but that’s all he is--a kid. He’s two years older than you are but you’re much taller than he is. If he is going to get a growth spurt, he’s getting it late in life or maybe his family are just short people. He’s not enrolled in your school because he’s mega smart and needs higher education to stimulate his brain.
You slip past his house in hopes you can enjoy the rest of your walk in silence but you hear the garage door slam shut and footsteps padding down the driveway.
“Hey, Y/N! Almost missed you.”
“Hi, Spencer,” you shake your head.
“How was your day?”
“It was fine. It’s just school.”
“Today was my first day of college and it was exhilarating. I have to admit, I wish you were there. Or I wish I was enrolled in your high school like all the other normal kids. At least we’d be together.”
You knew he had a crush on you after the first conversation you ever had with him. He called you pretty and vowed he’d walk with you to protect you against predators. It was cute at first but not you’re interested in someone like him. Like you said, he’s nice and has the potential of being a good boyfriend but he’s short and you don’t go for short boys.
“Sure, Spencer.”
“Listen, my mom gave me some money and I wanted to see this new French film that’s playing across town. Do you think you’d want to maybe go with me?”
Never has he ever had the balls to ask you out. Now that he has, you need to put a stop to this. He’ll get over the crush and you won’t be humiliated every time you go out in public. Does that make you selfish? Maybe. Does that make you a douche? Definitely. You stop outside of your house and look down at Spencer who has a hopeful look in his eyes.
“Spencer, listen, you’re a nice kid but it’s never going to happen between us.” Spencer’s face falls but he doesn’t say anything. “Grow over six feet and then we’ll talk, okay?”
You meant that as a joke but you don’t stick around to see if he laughs. That’s the last time you ever saw Spencer Reid.
Now
Today is the day. You’re given the opportunity to feature your art in one of the most successful art galleries in the country. You studied at Princeton and got a degree in fine arts before interning for known artist Benjamin Hale. He’s so successful that he has hundreds of galleries across America with dozens more across the world. He was impressed with your portfolio and offered to let you study underneath him while creating your artwork in private.
He offered you a chance to showcase your work in one of his new galleries. According to him, he needs new blood in this gallery and you’re the perfect fit for it. Your speciality is portraits, realism, and photorealism. Your favorite things to draw are people but there is something about being in nature and drawing what God put on this Earth. You have an eye for making your paintings look real and raw, and you’re able to capture people’s emotions henceforth the realism part of your art.
You only have about a dozen works put up in your small corner of the gallery but you’re proud of it all. You might not sell anything tonight and that’s okay. When you got the word out that the gallery was going to open, people agreed to come once they saw free food and wine was going to be handed out. Still, you appreciate everyone coming.
The place is packed mostly for Benjamin’s work but you see some people enjoying your work. You’re in the back room getting more wine for the servers when one of them joins you.
“Hey, Y/N.”
“Oh, hey, Lori. I’ve just gotten the box of wine for you guys.”
“I just came back here to tell you that someone just bought all of your things.” You’re so shocked that you spring up but hit your head on the corner of a shelf. You yelp in pain and rub the sore area before backing out of the dusty corner. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. What did you just say?”
“Someone bought all of your work.”
You don’t wait to hear what else she has to say. You’re already out the door and rushing into the main room. You look to your section but don’t see anyone lingering around. You’re not paying attention to where you’re walking when you almost run into someone. The man grabs your shoulders to prevent you from falling and lets out a chuckle.
“Are you okay?”
Wait you know that voice. You look up at the man towering over six feet tall. Damn, he grew up.
“Spencer?”
“So, you do remember me.”
He lets go of your shoulders and allows you to take a step back from him. Damn, not only did he grow but he grew more handsome since the last time you saw him. Well, he was fifteen the last time you saw him but still.
“How could I forget the little boy who followed me for two years?”
“Yeah, I kind of had a crush on you,” he chuckles.
Oh, he even has a beautiful smile. Damn, I really was a dick to him back then. You try to ignore the pang of sadness at his use of “had” and not “have”.
“I know you did. I’m sorry, but I need to go.”
“Looking for someone?” he asks before you have a chance to leave his side.
“Yeah, someone bought everything I have out.”
“It was me.”
You pause and turn to look at him. He has a slight smirk on his face, and something in your head clicks into place. You look at him up and down and notice how he’s trying hard not to be overly confident in his decision.
“So, what, you got older and taller and now you think you’re hot shit?”
Spencer shrugs and shoves his hands into his pockets.
“You’re the one looking up, not me.” Your jaw drops several inches at his remark. “So, can we talk now?”
“Excuse me?”
“You told me to grow over six feet and we’ll talk. Well, I’m over six feet now. Will you let me take you out?”
You have no clue what to say to that because your mind is reeling from the last thing he said. Someone calls his name and you both see a black man, two blondes, and a brunette waving him over. They point to their watches which means he is either late or they have to go. He digs in his pocket and produces a business card. Only it’s not a business card. He’s in the fucking FBI.
“How about this?” He hands the card to you. “Call me when I can pick this stuff up and maybe we’ll talk then.”
He leaves your side and joins his friend group without another look at you. Is it shallow to want him now? Maybe. Are you going to try like hell to make up for lost time? Definitely.
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x
Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)
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Note
Wait could you do something for Yandere!Rook when he stays over at Ramshackle with the SDC crew? I feel like if you showed him affection he'd take a mile. Like if you sheepishly told him you liked him; the next morning he's broken into your room and happily cuddling you (his prey) in your bed. I just want to see how a lovesick Rook would behave at Ramshackle during the VDC. (How long can he keep paying Grim off with tuna?)
Congratulations! You've acquired a second shadow.
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The Devotion of the Rook | Yandere Rook Hunt
He absolutely would but you don’t need to be especially nice
All it takes is just one compliment
He’s so used to the sarcastic and teasing of typical NRC
But then there’s you smiling without any other intention then just being happy
“I love your hat!”
“Why thank you, beau filou! Now what can I help with!”
Thus begins a whole new extensive photo album of all things you
He was probably already curious because of your entrance to NRC but now he’s officially obsessed
It feels like fate when Crowley and Vil dedicate you to help with the SDC crew 
Now he has access to you so much easier
So when you do return to your room during a dance break and he’s in there
You shouldn’t mind him, he only misplaced a feather from his hat
Or how he can eagerly offer to do your laundry with the liberty of taking whatever the dirtiest object in there is without alerting you 
And the pictures
Oh the pictures
he screws up his sleep schedule and risks scolding by Vil because he’s having a hard time limiting himself
And he’ll find that’s how it always is with you
“Oh Rook if you’ll excuse I’ve got to get past to the bathroom.”
“Ah~<3”
“Uh are you okay?”
“Oui! I just was surprised by how soft your touch was.”
“Hey don’t be weird.”
It only worsens after you survive Vil’s overblot with him
So brave!
You joined him when you sensed Vil’s killed intent
So oblivious!
You just casually called possibly the most dangerous creature alive by a cute nickname and got him to smile
So supportive!
The way you cheered them on despite your little twitch everytime one of them messed up
It’s invigorating
Almost more than he has with Neige
But it’d be wrong to quantify his love for the beauties in his life
Hence why he won’t keep track of how many times he ends up following you more than he does Vil
Or how the ceiling he’d reserved for Neige is filled with pictures of you
Or how often he ends up shooting arrows in the direction of troublesome students who can’t seem to stay away from you
Or how he’s willing to continue spending his allowance to pay for tuna that keeps Grim from telling you of his growing scent in the Ramshackle dorm
“Wow thanks for helping me out Rook, I didn’t know you were into building stuff.”
“I’m happy to help you mon filou! Besides seeing you work up a sweat really does something for me. I love to help you and Grim rest in beautiful luxury.”
“Aw thanks! Ace and Deuce said they’d help too but something came up.”
“I see. A shame they’re missing all the fun probably wondering how they got locked in a room with Floyd. You can trust I’ll always come when you call! In truth one may even say I am your biggest fan!”
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suni-writings · 3 months
Text
Running out of time.
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jude bellingham x fem!reader
When two people who didn't know how to love met at the perfect timing to ruin each other.
part 2 | part 3
wc: 2.3k
(content warning: angst, troubled relationships, situationship)
“I can't do this anymore.”
The words escaped her lips before even she could fully process them. It was almost a whisper — a sign of utter defeat, of how much she had struggled and how much she could not take another second of being with him. There was no amount of affection that could mend what the situation had done to her, no amount of luck that could change their fate and, most definitely, no amount of effort he could have shown at that moment that would make her change her mind. It was too late for anything.
If he had listened to her attempts of communication, if he did not dismiss her feelings, if he took her more seriously… A series of ifs that only involved things he could have done.
She had tried to stay with him as long as she could, even if she felt, from the start, that she was doomed from the second her heart beat a little faster at the thought of him. After all, who would hate themselves enough to fall for Jude Bellingham, knowing his reputation, knowing the amount of women he had around on their knees, knowing him?
She thought she knew him, she really did. At least, better than others. They had met at a strange moment in their lives, where a relationship would never fit. That was never what they wanted.
Jude had recently gotten out of a relationship, whereas she was avoiding any sort of relationship for more than a year. Each one had their motivations, and one thing was clear: no relationship was a rule.
So, she didn’t mean to when she realized she was falling for him. In fact, it was nerve-wrecking — constantly beating herself up and trying to smack some sense into her own head; anything that would bring her back to reality. And like that, without knowing her feelings were reciprocated, she created a distance between them, leaving room only for her anxiety.
As her sorrow eyes met his desperate ones, she remembered. Flashes of how they ended up like that flooding into her head without her permission.
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“So,” Jude said once. They were at her place — something they used to do quite often. He didn’t like bringing attention to himself and he wasn’t one to take any woman to his place, considering how the press could be if someone saw.
She didn’t know much about Jude. All she knew was that he was a good kisser, a nice company and someone that would provide her aftercare. She couldn’t ask for much more than that.
But one thing she did know — he was confident. Not that she wasn’t, but he was cocky. And, judging by the way he nervously held his thumb, she knew something wasn’t right.
“So?” She asked, tilting her head, looking at him gently.
“I—” he gulped and let out a nervous chuckle. “Look, don’t get me wrong. I know we said it was only a casual thing, but I’ve always been a man that liked, you know, talking to more than one woman.”
She nodded, furrowing her eyebrows, trying to predict what he was going to say. 
“What I want to say is—” he took a deep breath. “I don’t feel like talking to any other woman but you. I haven’t, actually, since this whole arrangement started. I know it’s only been a month, but—”
She laughed and he raised her eyebrows. She held his hand with an affection she hadn’t shown yet.
“Jude, it’s okay. I haven’t been with anyone else or even did as much as looking at anyone else ever since I’ve been with you,” she reassured him.
“Thank God.” He sighed happily, relieved.
The first and only rule was already broken.
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“I can’t do this, you know. Can’t have a relationship. It’s not your fault, I just can’t do this sort of commitment at this point of my life.” Jude said while looking at her. She didn’t know where that came from.
They were peacefully taking a walk on a park close to her place. The cold breeze and the way his words somehow felt like a dagger made her shiver and cross her arms, not looking at him.
“I’ve never—” she tried to say. “We were never—”
What could she say? That they were nothing? That wasn’t the truth.
“I’ve never asked a relationship from you. I don’t even— want a relationship. We had talked about that since the beginning,” she said, furrowing her eyebrows. Did she do something that made him think otherwise?
“Let’s be honest with each other for a second.” He said and stopped her, turning her around to look at him  “This whole thing is running out of our control. I can’t do this. There’s no way I can have a serious relationship, one with actual commitment. I need to stop this before it gets to a point that I’ll hurt you.”
She swallowed. Despite her best efforts to hide how that hurt, maybe she was giving it away.
She didn’t want a relationship. They were in the same page.
But she was never the one to insist. Never the one to run after someone. In fact, her entire life, all she did was running away.
That’s all she knew how to do.
So, she just accepted it.
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She sighed when she heard the knock on her door, her face twisted with annoyance. For some reason, Jude decided he wanted to see her and asked her to dress up nicely — something he knew she always did, but maybe he just wanted her to create some expectation and, perhaps, not dislike him as much as she was disliking him at that moment.
When she opened the door, he was standing there with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and in a perfect tuxedo. She would’ve sighed, if it wasn’t for the last conversation they had.
“You think you can buy me flowers and what? Problem solved?” She asked, not bothering to hide how much his presence maddened her.
“No. I know you better than that,” Jude said carefully, knowing he had to think well before speaking if he wanted to still be in her life. “But I can still buy you flowers, right? I know you like peonies. And I also like to think that’s a decent way to greet a woman you’d like to take on a date.”
She scoffed and rolled her eyes.
“On a date?” She asked in disbelief. “I thought dates were too couple-ish for you.” She mocked him.
He sighed deeply.
“I was wrong, alright?” He said and run a hand through his hair. “Well, not that wrong. The situation is getting out of hand and we’re breaking every rule we made up, but you’re right, this isn’t like I’m dating you. Still, I’d love to have you on my life and for things to be… the way they were before I fucked up.”
She sighed, crossing her arms.
“My ex showed up that day and I just got nervous; I think.” He looked down. “I had never liked someone this fast, you know? I don’t know how it happened to us. But when she showed up, everything I was afraid of suddenly came back and I just— almost ruined us. Whatever this is.” He looked at her. “But you're not her, and I like you so, so fucking much. Can I, please, have the honor of a second chance?”
“It’s the only one you’re having.” She said as she grabbed the bouquet. “Nice choice of flowers.”
He opened the sweetest, most genuine smile.
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“Things are so much easier when I’m with you. I wish it was always like this. That I could take you everywhere,” Jude said.
They were stargazing in her backyard, laying on the soft grass. His head was on her chest as she caressed his hair. They didn’t need to look at each other and he didn’t need to see her eyes to know how she felt — he could hear her heartbeat. It was more than enough.
He was going through a rough patch; she knew that much. And she didn’t know how to fix it, how to help him — it was out of her reach to do such a thing and he would hate if she even tried. His pride always took a tool on him, used to suffering in silence.
“I know.” She sighed softly. “I like being with you, if that helps. You’re my favorite person to talk to.”
“I hope I am,” he chuckled softly. “That’s why we’re sort of together, right?”
“Right,” she nodded. Things seemed so easier and intimate when they were like that. She felt his soft locks against her fingers and sighed once again. “But only sort of together.” She teased him.
“You’re annoying,” he joked.
“Touché.”
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“Why are you so mad at me?!” Bellingham exclaimed, trying to run after her as she made her way out of the nightclub. He tried to reach for her arm and called out her name. “Stop, please.”
She stopped. Why was she still agreeing with anything he told her to do, anyway? Even when she couldn’t think straight, even when she was tipsy from all the alcohol she had consumed. Since when he became such a strong influence in her life that she would just submit to what he said? Why didn’t she leave?
Why didn’t she run away?
She was so good at that.
“I just—” She looked up, trying to find a way to put her words together and make it make sense. “I hate seeing you surrounded by so many women. And it’s so clear how much you enjoy the attention.”
“I don’t—”
“You literally left me standing to go talk to whoever that woman was.”
“You’re exaggerating and you don’t want to listen to me. Why don’t you just breathe for one second?” He asked her. “Look, I might enjoy the attention, but I wouldn’t leave you standing anywhere. I told you, when this whole thing started, that you’d never have to worry about me hitting on someone in front of you.”
And, to her, it felt like they had taken every step back. He didn’t mean for his words to come out like that, really. He knew what she had gone through in her relationships and how much anxiety she could feel from liking someone. He wanted to reassure her and was managing to do the opposite.
“Yeah, the same way we told each other this would be nothing serious,” she scoffed. “And it really seemed like you were flirting with her. How come when it’s with me, I have to chill and take a deep breathe, but when you’re feeling like that, I have to keep explaining myself?”
He opened up his mouth, but no words left. She knew he’d say she was making a fuss over nothing.
“Good night, Bellingham,” she said before leaving the club, not bothering to look back.
That same day, thousands of pictures of him in the club came out. He wasn’t doing anything, but her heart broke a little bit more from how many women surrounded him.
He didn’t bother to explain.
In fact, he had ignored her for two weeks.
That’s how they ended up here.
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“You’re joking, right?” Jude asked, though he knew her enough to know if she was bluffing or not. “I just told you all my problems and— that I need a break from us. I need to focus on other aspects of my life, I can’t afford the luxury of having space for anything romantic.”
She laughed dryly.
“And what am I supposed to do, huh? Shove my feelings right up my ass just because you want me to wait for you? Or even worse, be your friend?” She didn’t mean to sound that aggressive, but the two weeks of no contact were more than enough for her anxiety to overcome every good memory they had and replace them with thoughts that he didn’t even really care.
“I’m not asking to be your friend! Jesus, you’re so complicated!” Jude exclaimed.
“I'm not complicated!” She argued back. “I’m just tired of having to put your feelings on top of mine, of prioritizing you instead of myself. I know where this ends and I won’t submit myself to this. Not to this, not to you, not with you.”
“Please,” he sounded desperate. Pathetically desperate. He held her arm. “Don’t do this to me. Wait for me. I will come back, I swear to God.”
“And put my life on hold because you want me to?” She asked, looking up at him, showing how hurt she was by the whole situation.
“What if I’m losing the love of my life over something I cannot control?” He asked her in a whisper, his brown eyes meeting hers.
It was his last attempt, that was for sure. But he forgot just how good she was at walking away. Maybe it was her fault for always finding some excuse for his attitudes or even for forgiving him, in first place. Maybe she should've walked away when she realized she was catching feelings. Maybe she shouldn’t have allowed him a second chance.
A series of maybes that only involved things she could have done.
But one thing was for sure: she wasn’t going to break herself over anyone ever again. Despite how much she liked him, despite the part of her that was willing to wait — she had been through too much to do that to herself again. She didn’t know if it was worth it, not anymore.
“I’m not the love of your life, Jude.” She said and did what she was the best at: walking away.
487 notes · View notes
munsonsmixtapes · 3 months
Text
Paint Me
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Benedict Bridgerton x fem!inexperienced!American!reader
summary: You and Benedict attend his mother's masquerade ball and the tension between the two of you is palpable.
word count: 9k
cw: MDNI (18+) smut (p in v) unprotected sex (please don't do this) anal, fingering, finger sucking, oral (both m and f receiving) masturbation, use of the word daddy, Benedict has a degradation kink
part one part two part three
March 3, 1817
You hadn’t seen Benedict since the gallery-well, more like you had seen him, but had been avoiding him like the plague since your embarrassing situation. You hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him and didn’t know why you couldn’t get yourself to speak to him. Maybe it was because you had been embarrassed about just what your thoughts had contained. Because It was absolutely not appropriate for you to be thinking that way about a man who was not your husband.
All that you could think about was how much you wanted to kiss him again. How much you wanted him to make you feel as good as you did at the gallery. The way he had made you feel when he had grabbed your breast.
You had dreamt about him every night since and they were nothing but inappropriate in your mind. They all featured you both at the ball that was supposed to take place at his mother’s home where you danced the waltz together before he pulled you into his brother’s office before having his way with you. That part was a little fuzzy considering the fact that no one had ever taught you about sex. You were actually hoping that Benedict would teach you everything that you needed to know about the subject as he fucked you senseless.
Maybe you were looking forward to seeing him at the Bridgerton masquerade ball and maybe you were looking forward to Benedict ripping off your masks as he slid his hands up your dress, removing it ever so slowly and undoing your corset ever so slowly as his lips pressed to yours.
A part of you had hoped that you would have hoped that he would have shown up at your house for you like you had seen all of your sister’s suitors do, but he never did. That just wasn’t Benedict. He was more into keeping his women a secret as opposed to showing up with a bouquet of flowers and offering them to you with a bright smile on his face. That was more like his other two brothers. And maybe that was why they were both married and Benedict wasn’t.
Perhaps he was just the kind that professed his feelings behind closed doors only to ignore the woman when it came to being in public with her. And you were honestly okay with that as long as he kissed you like he had in the garden. That would have been perfectly fine in your eyes.
Your mother entered your bedroom as your lady’s maid tightened your corset and you were surprised to see her since she hadn’t really been around since your father had passed. She had been much nicer and understanding, almost as if Augustus had been the one to make her that way, but you knew that hadn’t been true. He never stopped her, but he certainly didn’t encourage her behavior.
“Here’s the dress,” she held it up and you gasped at just how perfect it was. It was exactly something you had wanted to wear and for once, she had listened to you.
The dress was a pretty light shade of pink and had a tulle overlay with white flowers all over the bottom. It was one of the most beautiful dresses you had ever seen and you were nothing but excited to put it on.
Once you were dressed and your hair and makeup were done, your mother stood behind you and you watched her smile as she rested her hands on your shoulders, looking at you through the mirror just like she always looked at your sister. Like she was actually proud of you.
“You look beautiful,” she told you and you were suspicious of her sudden niceness.
“Thank you, mother,” you nodded, unsure how to take her compliment since you had never heard her say a single nice thing to you ever in your life. She always saved those words for Lilith.
“Oh, almost forgot,” she laughed, handing you your mask. She then fled the room and you followed her to see that your sister was already waiting in the foyer. She had also been suspiciously nice to you and you wondered what sort of trick she and your mother had up their sleeves.
Her dress was very similar to yours, only it was a light blue which looked beautiful against her skin. She gasped when you descended the stairs and you couldn’t help but mimic her smile once you came face to face. She reached out for your hands and you hesitantly let her take them, still unsure what exactly was going on.
“Sister,” she said, giving your hands a squeeze. “You look positively beautiful.”
“I bet you’re just happy that I’m going to be wearing a mask so I don’t embarrass you,” you grumbled and both Lilith and your mother laughed while they each stood on either side of you, looping their arms through yours.
“You always were so funny, y/n,” Lilith said through laughs and sure, you got a laugh out of what you had said, but didn’t like it was as funny as they seemed to. Something was definitely up and you were going to get to the bottom of it.
The three of you got into the carriage and you fiddled with your necklace, thinking about the fact that this was going to be the first ball without your father. For once, you really were going to have to face it alone. Sure, you’d have Kate and Anthony to keep you company, but they weren’t family like your father was. Perhaps that was why Vivian and Lilith were being so nice. To finally make amends after making your entire life up until that point a living hell.
As much as you didn’t want to forgive so easily, you thought that it would be best to anyway, not wanting to repeat what had happened with your father. You couldn’t carry anymore guilt, the weight getting too heavy on your shoulders. You were going to be just as nice to them because you knew that was what your father had wanted, even though you wanted nothing more than to never speak to them again.
The carriage rolled up to the Bridgerton home and you realized you hadn’t been there in the few months you had been back, but the memories of the place were still fresh in your mind. You were hoping to finally see Francesca since you hadn’t had a chance to. And maybe you were also hoping to see her brother as well. Hoping that he would save a dance for you and that you’d be able to have his undivided attention as the two of you moved around the room, his hazel eyes looking into yours.
You pulled down your mask as you headed inside and were happy to have at least a little bit of anonymity even though you knew it was going to be very easy for people to figure out who you were. But still, you loved the idea of having your face partially covered so it wasn’t as obvious when you didn’t make eye contact with anyone you talked to that night.
Benedict had no intention of attending his mother’s ball until he found out that you were going to be there. He had promised himself that he was going to stay away from you so you could find someone more worthy, but fuck that. He still wanted to have his way with you and maybe that night, he’d get lucky, There was a perfectly good office that wouldn’t be in use the entire ball.
Maybe the two of you would have had time to sneak off and have a quickie before no one even noticed you were gone. He could imagine covering your mouth as you moaned as he fucked int you, not wanting you to bee too loud so your moment wouldn’t be disturbed. He had gotten a little taste of what you sounded like at the gallery and hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since. His dreams had been nothing but filthy for the past few nights and he was just looking forward to making them become a reality.
Benedict watched you enter the house and he had to hold back his gasp at how absolutely beautiful you looked. The pink shade looked so good against your skin and the mask you were wearing matched it perfectly. He then turned to your sister, who also looked beautiful, but not nearly as much as you. Lilith should have been the one he was interested in with her being the diamond and all, but if he was being honest, he thought Lilith was nothing but a fake. Someone who only cared about someone’s status and not their personality.
He had seen your sister eye him the entire season so far and he avoided that woman like the plague. Anytime she would approach him, he would make an excuse to leave so he wouldn’t have to speak to her, or worse, have to dance with her. Because if he talked with a woman, long enough, he felt obligated to do so and he had no intention of dancing with or even so much as making eye contact with Lilith.
Benedict made a beeline for you as you got further into the house, but Kate had beat you to the punch. He supposed he could have let his sister have a moment with you before he asked you to dance. Especially since he wanted you to enjoy enough of the event before he whisked you away.
“You look absolutely lovely,” Kate complimented as she took your hands and you eyed her beautiful olive green dress and her mask that matched.
“Thank you, you too.”
“Oh, thank you,” she squeezed your hands then turned to stand next to you, linking her arm with yours as you both surveyed the room. You watched Benedict cross the room to make his way towards you and you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. He was dressed in navy blue and had a gold mask sitting on his face. You didn’t know how you knew that it was him with his disguise, but you just did.
A smile made its way upon his face as he approached you and he wordlessly held his hand out to you. You took it and he led you out onto the floor before joining your hands and resting his hand on your shoulder blade and yours rested on his. The music changed and you both moved about the room, no words being spoken. All you had to do was look in each other’s eyes to say what you needed to.
You could see Benedict leaning towards you and for a second, it seemed like he was going to kiss you. But he wasn’t going to do that with all of those people around. He wouldn’t do something so inappropriate. But why did you kind of want him to?
He brought his lips to your ear and feeling his hot breath on your ear brought you back to the gallery. You really wished he would have just pulled you into a room and had his way with you and thinking those kinds of thoughts made you feel guilty considering that he wasn’t your husband, but not guilty enough to stop them.
“You look fucking beautiful tonight.” His voice was raspy and you tried your best not to moan at the sound of it.
“And what are you going to do about it?” You asked as he pulled back to look at him, batting your eyelashes as he did so.
“I can’t tell you when there are so many people around.” You felt your heart race in your chest as you realized what he was insinuating. You had always been taught that sex was something that happened between a married man and woman and now here you were, offering your body to Benedict on a silver platter when you were nothing to him except someone he could use.
Before you could register what you were doing, you pushed his arms off of you and took off for the nearest room you could lock yourself in. You pushed through multiple groups of people to get to the outside of the circle everyone had formed around the dance floor. You turned to see that Benedict was following you and opened the first door you could find.
You closed yourself in the nearest room which just so happened to be Anthony’s study. You took a deep breath as you tried to collect your thoughts, feeling them all swirl around in your brain. It was all becoming too much to take. You couldn’t be in love with him. You didn’t even know what love looked like since everyone around you didn’t seem to show you any.
you felt tears well up in your eyes as you turned your back to the door, knowing that you had really fucked everything up this time. There was someone who wanted you, but you were so caught up in your insecurities that you couldn’t even let him love you.
The door burst open causing it to hit the wall with how much force was used. You whipped around and there was Benedict, looking like he had just run a mile. He was breathing heavily, his shirt was unbuttoned and his hair was a total mess.
As soon as he caught sight of you, he made a beeline for you, taking you into his arms, letting out a contented sigh that he had finally found you. A grin broke out on his face and normally, that would have made you melt, but not this time. You were not going to be another one of his whores.
“Benedict, you need to leave now.” You couldn’t bear to see him. You needed him so badly and knew it was wrong to engage in that kind of activity without being married, but you had already done so, so what was one more time? So he had to leave.
“I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me.” You knew he was telling the truth. He was so stubborn. More so than you, in fact and you knew that he really wouldn’t leave the room until you told him the truth.
“I have nothing to say.” You had so much to say, but none of it was appropriate. It was pure filth and it sat on your tongue, begging to be uttered to him, but you couldn’t do it. Not now. Not ever.
“I’m not leaving until you tell me why you ran. We were having a great time and you left with no warning. Again. I think I deserve an explanation.” He did, but you weren’t going to give him one. You couldn’t. Not without telling him the truth and there was no way in hell that you were doing that.
“I’m not telling you anything. I would like to be alone so please leave.” You pointed to the door and you seemed to be just as fired up as you were at the gallery. He liked the side of you. The side that liked to get a little mean and authoritative.
He leaned down so that his face was just inches above yours, a devilish smirk forming on his lips as he spoke.
“Make me.” Oh, you were going to make him. There was no doubt about that.
“Fine.” You began to push on his chest, put he just leaned forward, his hands meeting the desk as he did so, caging you in.
“Benedict, please-“ he cut you off by pushing your dress up. He sat you on the desk and spread your legs wide to get a good look, looking up at you with a devilish smirk as he caught sight of your sopping wet cunt.
“Look at you, darling. Been thinking a lot about me, huh?” He winked. “Well, no wonder you’re so frustrated with me. Don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you.”
“What are you-“ your sentence was cut off by his pants dropping to his ankles, your eyes widening as his cock came into view. God, he was huge. You weren’t able to stare at it long because he pounded it into you, causing you to make a sound you had never made before. And Benedict loved hearing it, deciding that it was better than he could ever imagined.
“So tight,” he chuckled. “But don’t worry, you’ll be so loose by the time I’m done with you.” He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead then thrusted in and out of you and watched the way your mouth opened wide as you let out another moan. One hand gripped your waist as he put his hand over your mouth, not wanting you to get too loud and ruin your good time before it had even really started.
“You have to be quiet,” he said harshly and you just nodded. “Can you be quiet for me darling? I promise the next time we’ll do it somewhere more convenient because you have no idea how much I want to hear you scream my name.”
He continued to pump in and out of you, his eyes moving down to your tits, hypnotized by the way they moved underneath your dress. He decided that he really needed to see them. He wanted to watch them bounce as he fucked into you again and again.
He pulled your dress over your head and tossed it behind him before reaching for your corset, untying it without even seeing it because he had done that exact thing more times than he could count. Once it was off, he took in your bare chest, deciding that they had looked even better than he imagined in the many dreams he had about you doing the exact thing you had been doing right then. But he wasn’t dreaming then. You were just a dream.
“You look-“ he cut himself off, feeling drool collect in his mouth as he thought about it sucking on your tits. But he didn’t do stuff like that. He just fucked. There was no foreplay or lead up. That wasn’t who he was. “Fucking heavenly.”
Then why did he want to kiss you until you were both breathless then fuck you soft and slow, making sure that you enjoyed every single moment? Who was he becoming because this definitely wasn’t the version of himself that he had grown to know.
He wiped the thought away and pounded into you, pushing your back onto the desk, as he moved everything out of the way, letting it all crash to the floor, not even caring that it made a loud clatter. He fucked into you, as hard and as fast as he could, trying to fit all of himself inside you and watching your eyes water as you managed to take every single inch of his dick. He continued to pound into you, watching you come completely undone as he fucked you roughly, watching your back arch as you moaned loudly, the sound becoming music to his ears. You collapsed onto the desk and he scooped you up into his arms, watching your head fall back as he desperately tried to hold you there, making sure that you were still okay to keep going.
“Can’t go dumb on me yet, darling. This is only the appetizer.” That broke something in you and you pressed a kiss to his lips before urging him to continue. He pushed you back onto the desk and kept you there, pinning you to it by your wrists as he continued to pound into you, watching you eat up the way he was fucking you, moaning when he wanted you to and arching your back in just the right moments.
He felt himself reach his climax and let out moans of his own, your name falling from his lips as he did so and you felt yourself become a goddamn puddle at hearing him moan your name. He then pulled out just in time to watch a mixture of your slick and his cum leak onto the floor and he had to hold himself back from licking up every last drop, not wanting any of it to go to waste.
Benedict pulled out of you and motioned for you to turn around. You did as he asked and he bent you over the desk, slamming his dick into you, pressing his chest to your back as he rested his hand on top of yours, lacing his fingers through yours, giving them a tight squeeze. He continued to pound into you as you leaned against the desk, already feeling tired from the activity, but you were going to hold out as long as you could, wanting to feel the other ways he was willing to scandalize your body.
Benedict continued to pump in and out of you as roughly as possible, feeling around for something in particular and smiling to himself when he found it. His hand found a mirror that was sitting on the desk and he turned it around, pushing it to sit in front of you and tilting it backwards so he could see you just right.
“Look at how good you’re taking me,” he commanded, his tone still soft despite the way his hand was gripping yours with such force.
He took you by your chin and forced you to look in the mirror, him watching nothing but you as he pounded his dick into you and you were able to see how undone he was able to make you.
Your mouth widened as you let out another moan and you had to admit that you were kind of loving seeing yourself like that and your eyes shifted to Benedict who was looking down at you like he wanted to eat you whole.
“So good,” you whined and he continued, elated that you were being vocal about how much you were enjoying yourself. If you hadn’t, he would have put the whole thing to a stop, your comfort being his number one priority. Sure, he liked the degrade you, but only with your consent.
“See? Look at you, taking it like the little whore you are.“ He pounded into you once more and you reached your orgasm, your moans the loudest they had been and Benedict was quick to cover your mouth once again.
He gave your ass a slap and you let out a yelp at the stinging sensation, but that didn’t mean you didn’t like it. In fact, you wanted him to do it again and again until your skin couldn’t take it anymore.
“What did I tell you about being quiet?” He asked through grit teeth. “Am I going to have to teach you a lesson about what happens when you disobey me?”
“Please,” you whined and he just smirked at you through the mirror. He grabbed onto your necklace and gave it a tug, causing a choking sound to escape your throat. You felt your cunt get even more wet at the feeling of the necklace pressing into your skin and became concerned that you enjoyed the feeling.
“Yeah? You like that, whore? Like it when I choke you like this?” He pulled a little harder and you noticed the pressure was relieved, looking into the mirror to see that the necklace had broken in his hand. Benedict looked at you apologetically then tossed the necklace aside on the desk. He’d buy you another one later.
He pulled out of you and turned you around to face him, pushing you against the desk as he pressed his lips to yours in a rough kiss. You gasped into his mouth then sat there, pliant to his kiss as he took what he wanted from you. You moved your lips with his hesitantly, unsure of whether you were doing it right.
“That’s right, darling,” he encouraged. “Just like that.” His lips continued to move with yours, rougher but slower, taking his time like he had so much of it even though it was only a matter of time before people started to look for you.
Benedict cradled your face in his hands, pressing his thumbs into your chin, pulling down on it so he had more access to your mouth. He slid his tongue inside and let it swirl around yours, loving the sounds it was pulling from you, loving the feeling of your hot breath on his lips as you moaned his name.
“Benedict,” you did your best to moan quietly and he pulled away, looking down at you as lust glazed over his eyes.
“No,” he shook his head. “As long as we’re in the bedroom, you call me daddy.”
“Daddy,” you repeated, the word in that context feeling foreign, but you didn’t hate it.
“Just like that.” If fucking you was always going to be like this, then Benedict was definitely going to get rid of all of his other whores.
He took two of his fingers and buried them inside of you, making sure to cover your mouth as you let out a moan. He pumped into you and the sounds you were making sounded delicious even through his hand that was muffling them.
“So good, daddy,” you whined and Benedict’s cock twitch at that. You were so hot and you didn’t even know it.
“Yeah? You like when my fingers fuck you?” He asked and you nodded, white knuckling the desk once again, almost afraid to touch him, also most as if his body was off limits. “You can touch me, darling. In fact, I encourage it. Want you to scratch up my back.” He helped you lean into him, giving him more access to your cunt, your legs pressing tightly against his wrist as his fingers continued to fuck you.
You removed his shirt as best you could, the thing only hanging off his arm since you didn’t want him to remove himself from you. Your hands scratched up and down his back in reaction to your pleasure and he let out a whimper as your nails met his back, wanting you to bring some of his skin with them.
Your head fell backwards as you reached your second orgasm, but Benedict kept his fingers inside you, hoping he could get you to your third one of the night. He gave you a few more pumps before removing his fingers, slowly moving them up to his mouth. His tongue fell out and he gave his fingers a slow lick, watching drool collect in your mouth as you watched him, your eyes glazing over with lust. He had you right where he wanted you.
“Want a taste, darling?” He asked and you nodded, your eyes widening as you did so. Benedict stepped forward, tilting your chin up, forcing you to maintain eye contact with him as he stuck his fingers into your mouth. “Give ‘em a suck,” he instructed. “You know you want to.”
You sucked on his fingers and he swore he was going to cum right there, watching you scandalize his fingers. He had made countless women come undone and he was afraid that you were doing the exact same thing to him and you weren’t even aware of it. His little shy girl driving him absolutely wild and having no clue what she was even doing.
“Lick them clean.” He stuck his fingers further into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat, causing you to gag. Your eyes watered as you gagged a little more and he pulled his fingers out a little bit, but you grabbed his wrist and put his fingers further into your mouth, almost down your throat and your eyes watered more as you gagged again, but you didn’t want him to stop. His fingers fucked your mouth and you sucked on them, licking your slick clean from them.
“Yeah? Like it when I make you gag, huh? Like the way my fingers feel in your throat? You look so pretty wrapped around them, darling. Bet you’d look even prettier wrapped around my cock.” You nodded at that, desperate to know just what he tasted like. “Wanna suck me off, darling?” He took his fingers out of your mouth so you could give a verbal response and you nodded again.
“Use your words.” He grabbed onto your face and forced you to look him in the eye. He squeezed your cheeks so tight that you felt a little pinch, but you hardly minded. In fact, you didn’t mind at all.
“Want to so bad, daddy!” His cock twitched again at that and he decided that needed you to suck him off right then or he swore that he wasn’t going to make it. He let out a whine as cum spilled from his cock and you looked down at it, feeling drool pool as you thought about it in your mouth.
“Look at you, so needy for me.” He wiped the drool from your chin and removed his hands from your face. “On your knees.” His tone was now more forceful but you liked it. You loved being told what to do and the degradation that came with it.
You got onto your knees and came face to face with his leaking cock and Benedict grabbed onto the edge of the desk, pressing the backs of his thighs into it as you looked up to him for instruction.
“What do you want me to do, daddy?” You bat your eyelashes and Benedict’s cock hardened right there, loving the way you looked so innocent but about to do something so filthy. The juxtaposition was driving him wild.
“Gotta take me into your mouth first. Put your hand at the base,” he said, his tone soft again. You grabbed onto the base just like he told you to and took him into your mouth and he swore he was going to come undone right there just by seeing your lips wrapped around him. He was convinced that was the prettiest you’d ever looked.
“Okay, now you gotta use your tongue. Swirl it around the head.” You did as he asked and he shuddered, throwing his head back as he let out a whimper but looked back down at you, the two of you maintaining eye contact as you licked up every last bit of his cum. “Now give it a suck.” You gave the head a suck and Benedict let out a loud moan at that, quickly covering his mouth as soon as it left. There was no way you hadn’t sucked a cock before. You were just so good at it that it just wasn’t possible that you were doing it for the first time.
You licked and sucked on his dick and you loved watching him come undone for a change. You watched him white knuckle the desk as he threw his head back, moaning your name over and over, causing your cunt to become a mess, feeling your slick pour from you as his delicious sounds met your ears.
“So good. Swear you can do this any time you want.” You were definitely going to take him up on that offer.
You removed your hand from him and just when he thought you were done, you grabbed onto his ass, pushing his dick as far as it would go into your mouth, desperate to have all of him. He looked down, his mouth falling open as he watched you take every single inch of him into your mouth. Your eyes were watering and you were staring to gag, but that wasn’t going to deter you.
Your tongue swirled around wherever you could reach as you continued to suck on him, watching his knees buckle as you hit just the right spot to make him absolutely lose it. Your fingers dug into his ass cheeks and he let out a yelp, wanting you to cause so much damage that he could look into a mirror and see bruise marks from how hard you were digging your finger tips into him.
“God, fuck, I’m gonna-“ his sentence was cut off by a huge wad of cum hitting the back of your throat as he let out the loudest moan of the night, surely on the verge of making people want to enter the room because of the disturbance.
He folded in on himself as you took his dick out of your mouth. He looked up at you and took your face in his hands again, looking at your glazed over eyes.
“Swallow,” he instructed, his breathing still labored. You did as he said and felt the cum go down your throat as he push your mouth open to make sure that you had actually swallowed it and looked down at you with that damn devilish smirk that should have been illegal.
“Good girl,” he gave your cheek a pat then got onto his knees in front of you. He pushed you roughly so your back hit the floor and he was quick to spread your legs, looking down at your pussy, ready to get a taste for himself.
“You look good enough to eat, darling. And I’m fucking starving.” He licked his lips slowly, looking down at your cunt as if it was a full course meal and he hadn’t eaten in days.
He went to remove your shoes and socks as slowly as he could, watching you whine for him, wanting to edge you now since everything else had happened so quickly. He slowly got your shoes off and took your left leg gently in his hands, removing your socks as slowly as he could, watching you beg for him as you did so which only made him move slower.
“Relax, darling,” he hushed you. “It’s going to be okay. Daddy’s going to take care of you in a minute.” Your socks were removed and he grabbed hold of your ankles, pressing feather light kisses to your left leg, complimenting you as he did you, telling you just how pretty he thought you were. This was going to be the main event, so he was going to have to put on a show.
Once he got to the top of your thigh, he hovered his face right above your cunt, taking a sharp inhale of your scent before giving the thing a slow, long lick causing you to arch your back just like he wanted.
“Just a second. You really need to relax,” he told you harshly. “I’m clearly working here.” He kissed up your right leg and you were so desperate for the feeling that you slowly inched your way down to your sopping wet cunt, needing to get your release.
You stuck your fingers up it just like Benedict had and you let out a moan, causing him to pause his loving on your leg. He slowly turned to you and looked down at your hand placement, his eyes widening at the fact that you were so needy that you felt the need to pleasure yourself. Maybe he’d like to watch you instead.
“I’m sorry,” you apologized, immediately removing your fingers from yourself, but Benedict stopped you, putting his hand over yours and guiding it back to your entrance.
“No, keep going,” he urged. “Wanna watch you.”
“You want to…watch me? I thought you wanted to-“
“Well, I’ve changed my mind,” he cut you off, his tone becoming harsh again and your cunt was becoming more needy for attention by the second. “Wanna watch you make yourself come undone. Now stick your finger back where they were.”
You did as he told you and stuck your fingers back up your cunt, trying to remember what Benedict had done earlier. You pumped in and out and he watched you with hungry eyes as your fingers fucked you, your eyes shutting tight in pleasure as you came undone at your own touches.
He was becoming jealous. Jealous of your fingers, desperate to lick them clean. Desperate to have another taste of you, wanting to be the one to give you that kind of pleasure. But he was getting so hard watching you that he was willing to wait until you came.
You moaned at the feeling, whines getting caught in your throat as you imagined Benedict’s tongue lapping up every last bit of your slick, telling you just how good you tasted as you pulled on his hair as hard as you could.
Just as Benedict was getting into it, you removed your fingers from yourself and his mouth watered at just how wet with slick your fingers were. He leaned over without a second thought and gave them a suck, swirling his tongue around them to get every last bit before removing them from his mouth.
As soon as he was done, he shoved his face into your cunt and you let out a gasp as his nose brushed it. He took no time to lick a stripe from your slit to your clit and you grabbed onto his hair and gave it a yank as he lowered himself to the floor, draping your legs over your shoulder as he did so.
He moved his tongue up and down, giving you a taste before pulling back a bit, causing you to let out another whine. You were just too easy to tease and he was always going to take the opportunity to do so.
“There’s no need to get greedy, darling.” He smiled up at you and you reached down to your cunt again, but Benedict grabbed hold of your wrist and gave it a tight squeeze, his eyes filling with anger.
“Stop acting like a spoiled brat or I’m going to leave you to finish the job yourself. I bet you’d love that, wouldn’t you? Now be quiet, darling, I’m about to do my best work.” With that, he buried his face back into your cunt and took no time to stick his tongue up it, pulling a moan from you as you gave his hair a yank.
His tongue hit just the right spot and your back arched in absolute euphoria. You yanked his hair again and let out your loudest moan yet, reaching your third orgasm for the night which even for Benedict was a record. He should have known that he could make you cum every single time. He was just that good.
“Benny,” you screamed and Benedict stopped at that. You had never called him that and why did he kind of like that more than being called daddy? Daddy was his go to, but with you, it was different. He liked your nicknames for him.
He removed his face from your cunt and licked up every last bit of slick he could reach from his face then placed himself on top of you, pulling you in for a filthy kiss, swirling his tongue around yours before pulling away.
“Did so well, darling,” he complimented as he wiped some of your baby hairs from your forehead, admiring the way you looked up at him with hearts in your eyes as if he didn’t just do some of the filthiest things to you that would have sent any normal woman running.
“Got one more in you? Promise I’ll be gentle.” He brushed some more hair away from your forehead and pressed a gentle kiss to it.
“One more,” you slurred and Benedict knew he didn’t have long until you were too far gone to consent so he was going to have to work quick.
“Wanna be on top?” He asked and you nodded enthusiastically. If he was being honest, he just wanted to see your tits bounce again as he fucked you senseless.
Benedict laid on the floor and you straddled his waist, situating yourself onto his dick, you both letting out moans as he entered you. You reached out and covered each other’s mouths as you began to ride him as he coached you, telling you exactly what to do.
“That’s it,” he encouraged. “Just like that. A little faster now.” You bucked your hips into his, back and forth and Benedict was hypnotized by the way your tits bounced up and down as you rode him, finding himself wanting to know what they tasted like, wanting to feel your back arch into him as you pulled one of them into his mouth, giving it a rough suck.
“Love riding you, daddy,” you whined and Benedict knew he was done for. Hearing your pathetic whines mixed with his nickname was making him lose his goddamn mind. It was so unfair how fucking how you were and how so unaware you were of it.
“I know, honey,” he managed to get out through labored breaths. “Look so pretty when you’re riding me.”
“I thought I looked pretty with your cock in my mouth,” you bat your eyelashes and he knew that you knew exactly what you were doing. You were beating him at his own game and you didn’t even have to try.
You could see him staring at your tits and decided to have a little fun of your own. Two could play that game. You leaned over and moved up so that your tits were hanging in his face, moving them back and forth as you watched the drool dribble down his chin.
“Know you wanna suck on them.” Benedict’s eyes widened as he realized that he had created a monster. “Want to do it so bad, don’t you?” You asked. “I can see you drooling baby, now open up.” Benedict opened his mouth with no hesitation and his lips wrapped around your nipple, giving it a suck as he licked a stripe across it, causing you to gasp.
He sucked and licked as his hands moved to your back, pushing you farther down onto him so he had more access to you. He pulled the thing between his teeth and gave it a pull, eliciting a moan from your lips that was particularly higher pitched than the other ones. He had you right where he wanted you, pliant to his touch as he worked his magic.
“Benny,” you whined. “So good, Benny. Need more.” He bit down harder and you practically screamed at the sound, covering your own mouth this time, wondering how no one had caught you yet.
He quickly moved onto your other nipple and didn’t even work his way up to the bite, just going for it, pulling another loud scream from you. Once he was done, he pulled away, wanting to get a good look at your tits shining with his spit, the bruises already forming around your nipples.
“Are you going to stare at my tits all night or are you going to finally fuck me, Mr. Bridgerton?” You raised an eyebrow and that did it. He pushed you to the floor and pinned you there, pounding into you as he his hands moved to your wrists so you couldn’t move.
“Watch your mouth or it won’t end well for you.”
“Oh? And what are you going to do to me, daddy? Spank me?”
“Maybe later if you’re a good girl and listen to me. Right now, I’m going to absolutely rail you.” He pumped in and out the fastest he could, knowing that he was running out of time since the ball was ending and knew that Anthony would make a beeline for his office to work on paperwork like he always did late at night. If he caught the two of you, he’d have Benedict’s head.
He managed to finish inside you one last time as he heard the chatter of people leaving, letting himself actually moan because everything was so loud that people definitely wouldn’t have been able to hear him. Your moans mixed together as you felt him release and he pulled out of you as he heard someone stomping down the hallway.
You both hurried to put your clothes back on and Benedict helped you put on your undergarments, your hearts racing because you were convinced you were going to get caught. After you were good to go, Benedict took you by the hand and slowly opened the door only for it to creak loudly in the silence of the house.
You both cringed at the noise but he still pulled you out of the office but quickly pushed you back in, shutting the door behind you.
“He’s right behind me.”
You gave his hand a squeeze. “I’ll handle this.”
“How?”
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that. You just run when I say to.”
“Yes ma’am.” You let go of his hand and slipped out the door only to literally run into Anthony causing the two of you to fall to the floor. Anthony was quick to pull you to your feet and you moved him further to the side so he wouldn’t see his brother slip out the door.
“What were you doing in my office?” He asked, and you were able to come up with something on the spot which was surprising to you since your mind usually went blank.
“I was just…looking for the bathroom.” Anthony definitely wasn’t buying that and needed to find out what was really going on.
“Y/n, what-“ as soon as you noticed that he was trying to get the truth out of you, you dropped to the floor and clutched your ankle.
Benedict took the opportunity to slip out of the room and head up the stairs as quickly as possible and you put on the performance of lifetime, pretending that you had hurt your ankle. God, he was so going to fuck you good for saving him like that.
“What happened? What’s wrong?” Anthony asked as he dropped to his knees in front of you.
“My ankle,” you told him, tears welling up in your eyes. Anthony went to lift your dress but you pushed his hand away, not wanting him to see that you defiantly had not hurt your ankle. You watch Benedict ascend the stairs and decided that your work was done.
“Where does it hurt? Do you need a doctor?” Worry was written all over his face and you were trying to figure out how you were going to get out of your lie and get to Benedict who was waiting for you in his room, desperate and needy for your wet cunt. You stood up from the floor quickly as Benedict stood at the railing waving you over.
“Would you look at that,” you laughed nervously as you moved your ankle back and forth, showing Anthony that you were actually just fine and he just stared at you, not fully believing whatever you were hinting at. “I’ve made a miraculous recovery.” There was something weird going on and Anthony was going to get to the bottom of it, even if he wasn’t sure that he wanted to.
“Where’s the restroom?” You asked, a sheepish smile making its way upon your face and Anthony eyed you, not quite sure if he should have asked you what was going on. He didn’t think that it was his business and you didn’t seem to be in any danger, so he supposed that he could let it slide just this once.
“Just down the hall.” He pointed to the right and you made a beeline in that direction.
Once you were gone, Anthony shook his head and opened his office door, a gasp escaping his lips as he took in the state of the room. Every single thing that had been on his desk was in the floor, some of them broken. It looked like someone had broken in and he had absolutely no idea how it could have gotten like that when he knew that no one had entered the room the entire night. Unless…
Something wasn’t adding up. Had you trashed his office or worse, had someone harmed you while the ball was going on? He supposed that would have explained why you had been behaving so oddly. Or maybe you really had just been looking for the bathroom. He trusted you and had hoped that you wouldn’t have done something like that to him. The whole thing was giving him a giant a headache and he wasn’t in the mood to deal with it. That was, until he noticed a necklace on the floor under his desk, catching the light of a diamond necklace. He hadn’t recognize it, but maybe it was Kate’s. That would have been the only person who would have had any reason to enter the office.
Anthony pocketed the necklace then turned off his lamp, deciding that he would eat with the mess in the morning. It was too late and he was too tired to wrap his head around what could have happened during the party. Once the lamp was off, he made his way towards the door and opened it, looking around for you, but he supposed you just left and hoped that you had gotten home safely.
As soon as Anthony’s office door closed, you raced up the stairs to meet Benedict. He took you into his arms and pressed a kiss to your waiting lips before leading you to his room. As soon as the door was closed, Benedict pulled you in for another kiss, taking no time to lick int your mouth, his hands pushing up your dress up, but you pushed him away. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but he wasn’t going to blame you for not wanting it. Maybe the moment had passed.
“What’s wrong, darling? Do you not want to fuck me anymore?” He jutted out his bottom lip and maybe earlier you’d have fallen for it, but not now. Not tonight. You were now aware of his game and had every intention of beating him at it.
“I didn’t say that,” you bat your eyelashes again and he was convinced that you knew exactly what you were doing now.
“Then what do you want? Name it and it’s yours.” Benedict expected you at least think about what you wanted, but you spoke before he could even take a guess.
“I want you to beg.” Pardon? You wanted him to what? Had he heard you right? Because there was no way that his little innocent darling was actually asking him to beg. That was his job. He figured you had at least had a few more rounds in you before you started ordering him around.
“What was that, darling?” He asked, leaning down so that his ear was right by your mouth. “I couldn’t quite hear you.” He could hear you quite well, but wanted you to repeat yourself with confidence.
“I said I want you to beg.” Your voice was the loudest he ever heard you and he loved how confident you were around him. How you were able to tell him exactly what you wanted and he’d give it to you on a silver platter.
“Y/n, what-“
“Down,” you pointed to the floor in front of you. “On your knees.” Benedict quickly obliged and lowered down onto his knees. His hands took yours and he pressed a kiss to each one.
“Please,” he begged and you almost gave it in right there, but wanted more. You wanted him to be on the verge of tears. You wanted him to be practically sobbing as he begged for you to bed him.
“I need a little more,” you told him and he wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his face into your stomach, pressing kissing to it.
“Please, please, darling. I need you,” he whined and you pulled his head away from you, tucking your finger under his chin and lifting his head to look at you. The devilish grin was now yours and he wasn’t sure how long he could last with his cock tenting in his pants.
“Gotta look at me when you say it, Benny. Wanna see your face when you cry out for me.” And the student became the master. That was it. He had nothing left to teach you.
“Darling, please,” he begged as he took a big swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he did so, choking back tears. His hands stayed on your waist as his hands rubbed up and down them. “I promise I’ll be a good boy.”
“Oh, I know you will be,” you gave his cheek a pat before pulling him to his feet and he was having a hard time standing up, but he got there eventually. He pulled you into his arms, making sure that you were flush to his chest before pulling you in for yet another kiss, this one softer than the others.
Your hands slowly moved to his shirt and you unbuttoned it as his lips moved with yours, your tongue swiping along his bottom lip. He opened up and you let your tongue scratch along his roughly.
You got his shirt open and pushed him onto the bed, lowering yourself on top of him as you removed your dress in one swift motion before capturing his lips with yours once again. You removed your corset and let your body be flush with his and he loved the way your tits felt pressed against his chest.
Your hands reached for his breeches and you unbuttoned then pulled them down, his cock springing free, just as hard as it had been before. You settled onto his cock and began to ride him, moving slowly, your fingers digging into his chest as his hands moved to your waist. You watched him beneath you, his eyes on yours as let out moan after moan and he wondered how you had gotten so good at it after only riding him once.
“Know exactly how I like it, darling,” he groaned, his fingers digging into your hips.
“Yeah? You asked, your nails scratching down his chest. “So glad I can please you, Benny.”
“Could do this all night,” he said, his hands moving to your ass and you let out a yelp as he dug his fingers into them. You took his hands and pulled them up to your mouth, giving them a gentle kiss.
“No, Benny,” you shook your head. “We’re going to do it my way right now.”
“And what’s your way, hm?”
“Soft and sweet.”
“Darling, you’re definitely sweet, but you’re not soft,” he let out a chuckle and you proceeded to ride him, picking up your pace, but not exactly doing it how he was liking it. He didn’t mind, though. As long as you were on top of him, he didn’t care what you did.
He let out a moan as your hips bucked against his and you watched his back arch in pleasure as he reached his orgasm, his hands squeezing yours for dear life as he finished inside of you.
“Christ,” was all he had to say as he ejaculated inside of you, his back hitting the mattress as he let out a loud exhale.
You got off of him then lowered your body down onto his, pressing your lips to his in a sweet kiss. Your hands reached for his once again and you intertwined them, letting them rest together on the mattress.
Your lips moved down to his neck and licked a stripe across it, wanting to know what it tasted like. It was salty from the sweat and you liked the flavor on your tongue. Benedict talked you through giving him a hickey and you did exactly as he instructed and just by his moans, you could tell that he was coming undone underneath you.
“So good,” he whined. “You’re a fast learner.”
“Well, I’ve learned from the best,” you told him as you pulled away to get a look at your work, the skin a reddish purple and shining with your spit. Benedict pulled you down onto him and flipped the both of you over so he was the one on top and he moved your sweaty baby hairs down off of your forehead as a smile broke out on his face.
“Flattery will get you everywhere, Miss l/n,” he said as he pressed a final kiss to your lips before pulling the covers over your bodies. He pulled you to his chest and placed a kiss to your forehead and you both closed your eyes, having no problem drifting off to sleep after all of the activities you just took part in.
“And the same goes to you, Mr, Bridgerton.”
You dreamed so peacefully that night, the only thing in your mind being Benedict and the beautiful life you could have built with him. You were hoping that after all the things that you did together that he’d make you his wife even if it was just wishful thinking.
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feenoire · 1 month
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Heartfelt Veils I. New Dawn
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stepdad!joel miller x f!reader
rating: 18+ minors dni
word count: 3.8k
warnings: slow burn-ish, age difference (18/50), brief sexual tension, sexual acts.
summary: moving to a strange, quaint little town isn't so bad after all, especially after meeting your soon-to-be stepdad, who’s very handsome and nice to you.
a/n: i never knew what it felt like to have a dad or father figure in my life. that’s why i wrote this silly little fiction to fulfill my fantasy. i use the character Joel because he’s my comfort character, and i see him both as a father figure and a lover. please read it with caution, as i know this kind of story is not for everyone. i’m currently writing the next chapters <3
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A piercing ring shattered the surrounding silence, echoing in your ears. You don’t remember how you here sitting on the ground. But you can’t see anything, everything is black like the whole world goes dark. You struggle to open your eyes but it’s hard, but you persist until it opens.
You begin to breathe faster as you examine your surroundings. You’ve been here before, but you don't exactly remember when and what happened. All you know is that you can feel an unsettling fear creeping over you in this place, and you begin to cry.
You find yourself encircled by towering trees, as you sit on the cold, damp grass. You feel like someone is watching you, but there’s no one. As you attempt to bury your face in your hands, you notice a bruise on your wrists.
What happened to me?
From the fear, your hands begin to shake. As you try to stand, you hear footsteps behind you, but you don’t dare to look back. Your heart races, and despite the cold weather, you start sweating. Everything else is silent except for your own breathing until a deep and familiar voice speaks from behind you.
“You think you can run away from me?”
You close your eyes tightly. The voice starts low, then gets louder until it speaks directly into your left ear. Leaving goosebumps tingling across your skin.
“I’ll always find a way to get you. No one can stop me.”
There’s a faint, distant voice calling your name over and over until a hand touches your shoulder. You wake up with a gasp, finding yourself in a moving car, your lungs heaving with ragged breaths.
“Are you okay, flower?”
Your mind is still processing the nightmare and trying to make sense of where you are right now. You can feel the sweat clinging to your skin.
“W-where are we?”
“We’re almost there,” your mother says. “We’ll be at the house soon.”
“Oh… right.” Of course, you are.
It all makes sense now as you start to remember things. You admire the buildings, trees, and pleasant views of the small town that will be your new home, from the backseat, with your mother beside you. With a population of just three thousand, it feels almost like a ghost town. People walk here and there, stepping on fallen leaves amid the October fall.
You check the time on the car’s radio display, it reads 4 PM, but the foggy and cold weather makes it feel much later. Meanwhile “Just Like Honey” plays softly on the radio.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” your mother asks.
“Yeah, I’m okay. It was just a nightmare,” you reassure her.
The car starts to enter the small neighborhood on the edge of the town. Most of the houses already have jack-o-lanterns on their porches, seems like this town loves Halloween so much.
“I’m excited,” your mother says with a smile, holding your hand on the seat.
You smile genuinely. “Me too, Mom.”
“A new dawn, a fresh start,” that’s what your mother had said when she told you about the move a month ago, to a quaint little town called Silvervale in the middle of Montana.
It came out of nowhere, and you still think about it. You miss your friend from your old school. But with your mother’s enthusiasm, you can’t say no to her, and you want to make her happy. And you like the idea of a fresh start. Why refuse it when you have the chance to begin anew?
A few minutes later, the car stops in front of the house. It radiates a cozy charm that you immediately appreciate. What you didn’t expect is that the backyard is a dense forest, with trees stretching as far as the eye can see. It would be easy for a wolf or serial killer to attack you, but you hope that won’t happen. Your mother told you that the neighborhood is safe.
The house is a two-story structure with a classic, early 20th century architectural style, a white-painted structure with a metal gabled roof and a chimney. It features a large wraparound porch supported by columns.
“Come on, flower.”
You and your mother get out of the car and grab your things from the trunk, with the cab driver helping to place them on the porch. After giving him a tip and thanking him, the driver leaves.
The two of you stand on the porch, with bags and suitcases on the floor. You tighten your jacket around your body to ward off the cold, realizing you shouldn’t have worn a dress above your knees. Meanwhile, all your other belongings are still on their way and are expected to arrive tomorrow.
“Where is he?” you ask.
“He’s not home yet, but he told me we could come inside.”
“Wait, are you sure?”
“Yeah, come on.”
You take your bags and go inside with your mother. Now all the stuff is in the living room. You take a look around the place. It’s cozy, with many books on the bookshelves beside the fireplace. There are guitars on the wall and some wood carvings on the table. You draw closer and touch them carefully, they’re beautiful. There’s a bear, a deer, a wolf, and a cowboy sitting on the horse.
Lost in a trance, you don’t hear another person enter the house until your mother calls your name.
“Yeah?” Your eyes are still trained on the carvings as you turn around until you see the man in front of you beside your mother, his arm around her shoulder. “Oh.”
Your mother, with a beaming smile, says, “Flower, this is Joel.”
Joel.
Joel is your mother’s boyfriend and one of the reasons she proposed to move here, to his house. He might’ve asked her to marry him after two years together. And she wanted to start fresh, away from your hometown. However, you have never met Joel. Your mother met him at the local bar in your hometown, Phoenix, when he was on a road trip with his brother. The rest is history.
You only recently learned that your mother dating him, she never told you about it or even mentioned anything about dating. Your mother was single, that’s all you knew since you were a kid. She was always busy working, so she never had time for a relationship. Until a few months ago, when she finally told you about Joel.
She said she wanted to make sure that Joel is a good man for both you and her, and that she wants to protect you. Now you understand why, sometimes every few months she would leave for like a week, over the past two years. She told you it was for work, and you believed her.
She said Joel’s the one, she never really went on a date with anyone since your father. Joel is a good and kind man, and she said she fell in love with him. It was kind of shocking when you heard the news, but you accepted their relationship. Actually, you’re kind of happy for her that she finally met someone she could spend her life with and who will take care of her. You’re almost eighteen, and you won’t be living with your mother forever.
It's the first time you’re seeing Joel in person.
You’ve only looked at pictures of him that your mother showed you or seen him during Facetime calls with her, when she told you to say hi to him.
You know Joel is a good-looking man from the pictures you saw, but you didn’t expect him to look this good in person. His salt-and-pepper hair suggests maturity. He has beautiful features: a rugged handsome face with tan skin, a strong jawline, warm brown eyes, and a sharp nose. Unbelievably handsome. He’s tall and broad, so you have to look up at him. His big arms stretch the charcoal flannel he wears.
In return, he looks at you, inspecting your face as if lost in a trance.
“Joel, meet my daughter,” your mother introduces.
“Hi, Joel,” you say, your voice a little breathless as you extend your hand.
Joel shakes your hand warmly. “Nice to meet you, sweetheart. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
You smile. “Nice to meet you too.”
“I’m so glad we’re all finally together,” your mother says.
“Me too, Daphne,” Joel says as he kisses her temple.
It’s kind of strange to watch the scene unfolding in front of you, you’ve never seen your mother this affectionate with anyone before. But you are happy for her.
“I’m sorry I’m late, I thought I’d made it on time. I bought your favorite cake, tiramisu, right?” Joel says to your mother, gesturing to the large paper bag he’s holding.
A soft blush tints her cheeks. “Oh my god, thank you so much, Joel.”
“I planned to surprise you with it before you got here, but my car broke down on the way.”
“It’s okay, Joel. It’s perfect,” she says as she hugs him.
“Okay… so, are we gonna eat the cake now?” you say, trying to ease the awkwardness of witnessing their intimate moment.
Joel and your mother laugh at your remark, breaking the embrace with a shared smile. Then, he leads you to the dining room. The table is full of delicious-looking food, and your stomach grumbles at the sight.
“This is amazing, Joel,” your mother says.
The three of you finally sit down and enjoy the food on the dining table. You can’t believe Joel actually cooked all of this, and it’s kind of sweet. You’ve never had someone cook for you, not even your mother, because she’s always busy. So, you either cook for yourself or buy takeout. Joel mentions that he has always loved cooking. Everything on the table is flavorsome, especially the ravioli with spicy cream sauce.
You’re too busy eating your food to notice Joel looking at you until you catch him. He quickly averts his eyes back to his plate, and you can feel a flush rising to your cheeks. But you quickly push the thoughts aside.
“Oh, yeah, mom. I was wondering how I’m gonna finish high school. You haven’t mentioned anything about it yet.”
“Don’t worry, flower. I’ve already taken care of it,” your mother says. “You start next week, but there’s no high school in this town, so you’re going to the one in Lakewood.”
You furrow your eyebrows, you have no idea about anything in this town. “Where?”
“Lakewood, it’s not too far from here. Twenty minutes tops,” Joel says. “Don’t worry, I can take you there and pick you up.”
It’s such a dad thing to say, you thought. You never knew how it felt to have a dad before, and the thought warms your heart and also your cheeks. You must be blushing right now because you can see a hint of a smirk on Joel’s lips, though he doesn’t say anything about it.
“Thanks, Joel,” you say.
Joel smiles warmly. “I rented A Nightmare on Elm Street on VHS from the store. I thought it’d be nice to watch it together tonight. It’s your favorite, isn’t it?”
Oh god. Wait, but how does he know? Uh… your mom must have told him, of course. Stupid you.
“But why?” you ask, puzzled. “We can just watch it on Apple TV or something.”
He smirks playfully. “Where’s the fun in that?”
You chuckle. “Right, okay.”
The two of you share a smile, locking eyes for a moment before you finally look away and return to your food.
“That’s very thoughtful,” your mother smiles and holds Joel’s hand on the table.
After everyone has finished eating, Joel leads you upstairs to show you to your room, carrying your bags. Meanwhile, your mother is having a phone call with her friend. As the two of you walk, you pass a wooden door adorned with painted blossoms and vines, with an “S” initial in the center, but you don’t ask about it. He leads you to the door on the left at the end of the hallway and turns on the night lamp.
“It’s your room, I hope you like it,” he says as he puts the bags on the floor.
It’s such a pretty room, it’s cozy with a vintage ambiance. The walls are covered with floral wallpaper, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere. It’s very Joel but in a feminine way. The windows have white lace curtains, allowing you to see the forest. All the furniture is made of dark wood, including the bed frame, bedside tables, dresser, chairs, study desk, and vanity table. There’s a floral carving around the mirror. He placed some unlit candles around the room. The bed is full-sized, and you touch the soft pink bedding with your fingers, feeling the little flowers on it. It’s pretty, soft, and you. What you didn’t expect is the painting of “Fallow Deer with Fawn” above the headboard—your favorite painting.
You gasp at the sight of it and turn around to face Joel, who’s already looking at you. His pupils dilate as he looks at you. But there’s a warmth in his gaze that makes you feel safe and comfortable.
“Joel, how did you—”
He smiles warmly and looks back into your eyes. “I asked your mom if there’s something you like. She told me that you’re crazy about that painting, and even wrote an essay about it for school. So I found a very similar one and got it for y—”
You stride to him and hug him before he can finish his words, burying your face in his chest with your arms around his torso. You feel his arms enveloping you, holding you in a bear hug, and you can feel his face resting on your hair.
You feel emotional from the gesture, unable to believe that someone actually cares about you and your interests so much. It means a lot to you, even if it might mean nothing to Joel. You try to hold back the tears that are threatening to fall, closing your eyes tightly and taking a deep breath, the masculine scent of Joel fills your nostrils.
“Thank you, Joel,” you whisper. “It means a lot to me.”
He caresses your hair with his other hand. “You’re welcome, sweetheart.”
Joel’s deep voice is like music to your ears. After a few seconds in what feels like heaven, you realize what you’re doing and quickly break the hug, stepping back. Overcome with embarrassment, you don’t have the courage to look him in the face. You bow your head and focus on your socks.
“I-I’m so sorry,” you say.
Joel takes a step closer to you and caresses your soft cheek with his big hand. “Hey, it’s okay, sweetheart.”
His gentle voice soothes you, but you’re so embarrassed that your cheeks must be red. You still don’t dare to look at him. After waiting for a few moments and seeing your resistance, he takes a step back.
“Makes yourself comfortable, okay?” Joel says warmly. “If you need anything at all, just tell me. I’m gonna help your mom carry her bags.”
You nod, and Joel takes it as a yes. He leaves the room and closes the door behind him.
You curl up in your bed, quietly crying for almost an hour. Why did you do that? You feel so embarrassed and stupid about the moment earlier. Lost in your feelings, you didn't think twice before hugging Joel. Now, you can’t find the courage to face him. You just want to sleep and hide under your blanket forever.
But you still can’t believe Joel prepared all of this for you. The pink bedding, the flower-patterned details everywhere, the candles, the painting—all your favorite things. Not that you're ungrateful, but this is far better than your old space. You love this room Joel made for you.
You remove the blanket from your head and rest your head on the pillow. There’s a little something you didn’t notice earlier—a beautiful wood carving, much like the one in the living room, but smaller. It’s a wolf and a doe and is placed on your bedside table. You smile at the sight. Not long after that, you fall asleep, dreaming about resting on the forest floor with a big wolf hugging you.
The sky is dark outside when you wake up a few hours later. You change into your soft pink nightgown, which is sleeveless with a round neckline. Three small buttons run down the front, with small embroidered flowers beside them. You tie the delicate ribbon at the waist into a small bow. As you brush your hair, you hear a knock on the door.
You put the brush down and go to open the door, finding Joel on the other side. You don’t open the door all the way, keeping your hand on the handle. He looks so handsome, his curls falling into his forehead. He’s wearing a faded black t-shirt that hugs his frame, paired with flannel pants.
“Yeah?” you whisper.
In return, he looks at you. His once-brown eyes darken and dilate as he gazes from your right eye to your left, lingering on your lips. You notice him wet his lips, and then his eyes roam over your body, making you feel self-conscious. His intense gaze sends a hot sensation through your core.
“Joel?”
He closes his eyes and shakes his head slightly as if realizing what he is doing. “Uh… I’m sorry, sweetheart. I came here to ask if you’re still up for the movie night.”
“Oh, right. Um… yeah, sure,” you stutter.
“Okay. Uh, are you alright?” he asks.
You immediately know what he’s talking about.
“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m sorry, Joel, about earlier,” you bow your head.
“Hey, please don’t be sorry, sweetheart. You can come to me anytime you want,” he says, his voice sincere.
You nod.
“Alright, why don’t we head downstairs now? Your mom’s in the kitchen making popcorn. Or do you need more time?”
“No, I’m ready.”
You open the door and step out of the room.
“Do you want a chocolate or something? Tell me what you want, sweetheart,” he says as he walks down the stairs in front of you.
Your heart warms at his offer, and you smile softly. “Um… could I have hot chocolate and Oreos?” you ask shyly.
“Of course,” he replies with a smile. “Why don’t you sit on the couch and let me make it for you?”
“Okay.”
Joel walks to the kitchen and joins your mother. Meanwhile, you sit on the couch in the dim living room, waiting for them. You grab the VHS, still inside the box, and examine the back cover. It says, ‘If Nancy doesn’t wake up screaming… she won't wake up at all!’ and you smile as the words send a shiver of excitement down your spine.
A few minutes later, your mother shows up with Joel. He brings a steaming cup of hot chocolate with Oreos and two bottles of Corona beer. Meanwhile, your mother puts a bowl of chips and popcorn on the coffee table.
You can’t help but grin at the sight. “Thank you, Joel, Mom.”
Joel grins. “Excited?”
“Flower, why don’t you change into something a little more appropriate? Don’t you get cold dressed like that?” your mother says, her eyes looking sharply at you.
You furrow your eyebrows, puzzled. “But it’s my nightgown.”
“Just change, alright?” she says, her tone brooks no debate.
“Okay,” you say quietly.
Your smile fades as you stand up from the couch. You catch a glimpse of Joel’s face—his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks confused as he glances at your mother. Quickly, you go upstairs to your room, holding back the urge to cry.
“Please don’t cry, please don’t cry,” you whisper to yourself like a spell as you look for more appropriate night attire in your suitcase.
You’re confused because your mother also wears a short nightgown too, with tin straps. So why is she upset with yours?
So you opt for your winter pajama set: long-sleeved button-up top and long pants. It’s light-colored with a pattern of small bear figures scattered on the fabric.
After changing, you take a deep breath, go downstairs, and sit on the rug with your hot chocolate in your hands, avoiding their eyes.
“I’m ready,” you say softly.
You’re glad your voice isn’t shaking because you don’t want to look vulnerable in front of them. Joel stands up from the couch, puts the VHS in the VCR, and plays the movie. You can feel his eyes on you, but you bow your head and focus on your hot chocolate.
The atmosphere is not as exciting as it was before your mother scolded you, but you try to enjoy the moment. A few moments into the movie you can’t help but giggle and blush at Glen Lantz's appearance, you’ve always had a crush on him.
“You sure your cheeks don’t hurt now, little girl?” Joel says with a smirk on his face, catching you smiling for not the first time.
Embarrassed, you lower your head and take a bite of your cookie. “No…”
Joel chortles. “Your cheeks got redder, sweetheart.”
You put the cookie down, curl up, and bury half of your face in your knees at his teasing. If your ears could work like a chimney in a cartoon, you are sure there would be fumes coming out from how warm your cheeks are right now. Damn Joel.
Near the movie’s end, you catch a glimpse of your mother kissing Joel’s face and neck—not the peck kind but the longing kind. You feel deeply uncomfortable and don’t want to look. You try to focus on the movie but can’t. You hold yourself together until the closing credits appear, and then you quickly stand up.
“I’m tired, I’m gonna go to my room,” you mutter before leaving and going back to your room.
Why did they have to do that in front of you? Are they drunk? You throw yourself onto the bed and turn off the night lamp, allowing the natural light from the night sky to illuminate your room as you try to sleep.
After what feels like twenty minutes, just as you doze off, you hear thumps and muffled moans coming from the other side of the wall behind the headboard. And you know exactly what they’re doing, which pisses you off even more, and you feel like you want to cry. So you clutch your pillow and blanket and go to sleep in your closet with your earmuffs on. You didn’t expect your first night here to be like this—sleeping on the closet floor. It takes a while to fall asleep again.
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