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blkkizzat · 1 year ago

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ღ𝐖𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐨𝐥𝐟!𝐓𝐨𝐣𝐢 ღ

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 𝐨𝐟 𝟐

18+ONLY MDNI

kizzatober series: Thrilling Ghouls

Kinktober Prompts: Breeding, Dacryphilia, Aphrodisiac Synopsis: Catching him in a lie, you suspect your boyfriend Toji is cheating on you. Where does he keep disappearing to once a month that keeps him away for often days at a time. You're fed up. You've made up your mind this time to follow him but are you ready for what you discover? CW: AU. Most warnings for P2 really. Slightly dubcon-y. Bully/mean/teasing Toji. Bratty/crazy gf reader. Rough sex. Drug ref. Werewolf transformation but this isn't that furry shit lol. Omegaverse themes I borrow heavily from but I'm not following the rules of it faithfully (I don't even know them myself lol) WC: 4k of 10.4k Lightly black fem coded but no descriptors.

A/N: This one took a bit longer expected as I recently caught a cold, boooo! But I'm realizing even in my fics I intend to be PWPs I still need to set the mood and a plot springs forth lmfao. Plus I had fun actually trying to write a bit of horror in too! I decided to split into 2 parts because of the delay already.

Big shout out to an irl bestie @sairotonin for drawing a sketch of Werewolf!Toji for her inktober for me to use in my gfx. TY sis you a real one!!

Enjoy!

“In the next 500ft, turn left.”

This was going to be the third goddamn left the car navigation told you to take in the last 20 minutes. You were ninety-nine percent sure you had been going in circles and were now lost as shit at night in the middle of nowhere.

You glance at your phone sitting in the dash-caddy.

One measly bar.

The further you traveled, the more the service bars were dwindling as well.

Shit, you had 3 full bars last time you looked.

Opting to keep ahead straight instead of turning, you cross-check your destination via the spy monitoring app you had shamelessly downloaded on your boyfriend Toji’s phone.

Toji’s current location was 45 miles outside of the city and it had been a good 10 miles since you last saw any kind of highway. The area you were in was a mix between nature reserve and private property so not even GPS could pin down the exact directions to his whereabouts.

Sigh.

You had never wanted to be That Girl™.

You know, the ones who would sneak peaks at their boyfriend’s phones, were super insecure about any interaction their man had with the opposite sex and ran down on them while they were out to catch them in the act of cheating.

But you were a woman at the end of her rope.

What else could you do?

For a few days every month Toji would simply disappear.

The various excuses he gave usually centered around his work. You didn’t know exactly what he did, but you knew enough to know most of it was dangerous and wasn’t what good society would consider legal.

Toji had scolded you before for asking too many details.

For your own safety.

He would say with an arrogant smirk.

But even when working you had always been able to get a hold of him after a few hours. It was just this one particular job he would completely drop off the face of the earth for. It annoyed you, sure, but Toij’s work never followed him home so you didn't have complaints.

That is, until you had finally moved-in with him and Megumi.

Truly, you were already like a little family.

Megumi, who had just recently started preschool, had been quick to warm up to you ever since you and Toji first introduced you to him a few months prior to that.

But living together pushed things to a whole other level. Megumi would follow you around like a lost pup and often opted to sit in your lap rather than Toji’s.

Not to mention throw a near fit if you weren’t the one to tuck him in goodnight. (Toji would never admit he was a bit jealous and would only grumble slightly that it was less of a hassle for him if you did it so you should just do it from now on).

You never even realized you had such a mothering instinct, being on the same page as Toji about no more kids, until you looked into those little emerald eyes of Gumi’s and absolutely melted.

You had grown so close that the little boy unknowingly let it slip once while Toji was MIA on that job, that he was glad Daddy went on his daddy breaks once a month so you both could have fun together by yourselves.

You tried to keep your reactions in check for Megumi but that revelation completely shook you.

A “daddy break” didn’t sound much like a work trip to you which spiked your anxiety and caused you to spiral into overthinking.

Did he need a break from you too as well?

You couldn't very well grill a 4-year old and you didn’t have the nerve to just ask Toji straight out.

So you did the only thing you could think of at the time and that was to complain to your good friend Tsukumo over drinks a few days later after Toji returned.

Tsukumo, who always seemed to have the wrong answer for everything, simply told you to do the ‘smart’ thing and download a monitoring app on his phone that would log is calls, texts and whereabouts.

You initially balked at her.

Tracking Toji had never crossed your mind.

Outside of this, Toji had never given you a reason to doubt him and you wanted to respect his privacy and trust, especially trust as you knew he didn’t let many people get close to him at all.

True, he wasn’t exactly the most forthcoming man you ever dated. You were well aware he had his many skeletons as well as ex-hookups. But Toji for the most part had been content with his gambling then coming home to you and Megumi.

He wasn’t the type to ‘run the streets with the boys (he had no boys tbh), you had only ever known him to have the occasional drink with Shiu when he wasn’t out gambling.

You had almost refused to do such a thing… That is until Tsukumo posed the question:

What’s more important Y/N– your peace of mind or his trust?

And Y/N, is trust really what’s important here at all if he is in fact already taking advantage of yours?

Touché.

Tsukumo had you there.

“Besides, you think that old dinosaur is even going to notice an extra app on his phone in the first place?”

Tsukumo quipped, throwing back a shot of sake and jiggling the empty container at the bartender for more.

“You just got rid of his old flip phone last year. I’m surprised he can even use a touchscreen without punching a hole through it. Just delete the app once you’ve seen what you needed to see.”

Tsukumo gave you this advice like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Ignoring her digs at Toji’s age, and maybe it was the 3 bottles of sake the both of you had blown through in the last hour, but you were starting to think she might be onto something.

“Mmm, on second thought, might as well keep it on there. Men like Fushiguro are dogs that need to be kept on tight leashes.”

Tsukumo grinned at you with a wink before turning her attention back to the bartender.

You still didn’t know then if you would actually go through with it.

Nevertheless, here you are now at 11:15 PM at night about to pull up on your boyfriend thanks to Tsukumo’s advice to find out once and for all if Toji was cheating on you.

You had dropped Megumi off at his best friend Yuji’s for the night, thanking Yuji’s parents for watching him and feeling guilty for lying to them that you and Toji had a date night.

Almost there.

You are within 2 miles of arriving at the vicinity of where the monitoring app says Toji is.

However, your anxieties were getting the best of you as you drove in near tears.

You turn up your music louder, the booming bass distracting you from how much darker and creepier it gets the further you drive into the wooded area.

Sighing again, you had no idea how this would turn out but you knew the result would determine whether you would be listening to Positions by Ariana Grande or Playing Games by Summer Walker on repeat during the drive back.

☠

Barely a half mile later, you see the engine light of your car flash. The pungent odor of burning oil fills the car as a plume of smoke escapes out from under the hood.

Goddamn it, Toji.

“Y/N, make sure to go get ‘er an oil change while I’m gone. Ya got like 15 good miles left on ‘er.” Toji’s voice rang in your mind.

Well the big lunk he was wrong.

You had driven at least 33 miles so far.

You mentally cussed him again.

Toji was the one who was supposed to change your oil, he used your car more than you did. Only opting to use his own blacked out unplated and unlicensed car for jobs like he was on now.

You wouldn’t have even left the house if it wasn’t for his sketchy cheating headass.

Okay, so you hadn’t exactly confirmed that just yet, but you were pissed and until you confirmed otherwise, right now he was a cheater and everything about this situation was his fault.

Pulling over to the side of the dirt road before you caused further damage to your car, you weighed your options.

Option 1: Call AAA

You had zero bars though.

Fuck.

Option 2: Wait here in the safety of the car until morning.

You would still have zero bars and you might miss Toji, making this whole trip fruitless.

If he beat you home in the morning and found you gone with Megumi at Yuji’s with the sad excuse for a 'date night' lie you gave, you would never hear the end of it.

He would taunt you into oblivion that your silly ass drove all the way up here unto the woods for your car to break down cause you were too busy being a psycho bitch to remember to get an oil change.

Option 3: Walk on foot the rest of the way to Toji.

Really the only viable option you had.

It was a good 12 miles or so back to the highway, you didn’t know how many turns you had made since then and you doubt you could make it back on foot anyway. If you were going to walk a few miles to get service again you might as well walk to where Toji was.

Sure if he wasn’t cheating you would still get ridiculed, but at least you could get a ride home.

And if he was cheating, you would hot wire his car (one of the few useful things he did teach you) and that motherfucker and his whore could find their own way home.

Resolving yourself to walk, you put on Toji's hoodie that fortunately was still in the backseat from him last using your car to go to the gym.

You really should have put more thought into planning this before you left. Besides Toji’s oversized worn hoodie that reached your mid-thighs all you were wearing was a thin white shirt and black spandex shorts.

You didn’t even have sneakers or boots, as you looked down at your fuzzy black slippers you mostly only wore outside to run short errands like dropping off Megumi at preschool or picking up groceries.

Thankfully, you did have a small flashlight in the glove compartment though in case of emergencies like this.

Flashlight in tow, you step outside of your stalled car and immediately suck in a worried breath as the weight of the chilly night settles over you like a heavy cloak.

You only have a mile and a half trek but the dirt road that stretches out before you looks endless as it disappears into the obscurity of the thick shroud of fog surrounding you.

The flashlight doesn’t do much to cut through the intense density of condensation. You had only made it a mere 20 feet from your car but you can just barely make out its faint outline.

Swallowing, you put on your bravest face and fix your gaze forward.

The reflections of your flashlight casts shifty patterns on the mist in your peripheral vision and you do your best to ignore the chill that creeps up your shoulders.

“Fuck you, Toji.”

You mumble half-heartedly, pulling the hood over head.

You didn’t really mean it though. Would-be-cheater or not more than anything you wished he was here with you now.

You were freezing, tired and all you could think about was how warm and safe you would feel in Toji’s arms. Even if you were mad at him.

You pick up the pace, wanting to get to him sooner.

Almost more unnerving than the fog itself, the forest around you is as quiet as a grave.

There are no chirps of crickets, nor hoots of owls.

Not even in the crisp cold of fall does the wind rustle through the trees, everything is silent.

The haunting nature around you seems to hold its breath as if it knows you're an unwelcome intruder who has trespassed too far.

You don’t dare peer into the trees which look taller in the darkness, closing in tightly on the dirt road. They are ghastly silhouettes of their former selves blocking any moonlight to help guide your way.

You shiver as you feel as if you are being watched from a distance.

The only noise you hear is the soft crunching of rocks and leaves beneath your feet with every unsure step you take forward.

You can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of dread as a stray tear runs down your cheek.

You couldn’t get to Toji soon enough.

Though you still didn’t have any service the GPS updated as much as it could in roaming, you were so close.

As you continue forward a shadow on the path catches your eye in the foggy distance.

Your heart quickens as you inch closer, your anticipation mingling with fear.

Shapes soon begin to take form and the harsh reality dawns upon you.

A pack of wolves.

Their shadowy figures coalesce before you through the fog as they take stock of you.

You start to feel queasy as you see their red-stained muzzles dripping with the blood of their latest kill. The grotesque carcass of a deer practically stripped to the bone lay lifeless under their enormous paws.

Their eyes, fierce and predatory, meet yours with a chilling intensity as the feeble beam of your flashlight washes over them. The deer, although large, you know is not enough to quell hunger from beasts of their size.

With a shaky breath you slowly retreat, not wanting to further agitate their already aggravated predatory senses.

Then you hear it.

From what seems to be the darkest reaches of the night, a sound reverberates from the trees, through the forest and beyond that's unlike anything you've ever heard before.

The howl that tears through the stillness is so chilling you instantly feel the lamentation that carries the weight of centuries of primal power down in the very marrow of your bones.

Even the wolves snap their heads to attention and bow their heads as if the sound announced the presence of a creature much higher on the food chain... something more ancient and malevolent…

...something terrifyingly unhuman.

The body racking shiver you experience is so intense it has you sprinting at full speed before your mind, frozen from fear, can even process you are moving.

You burst through the dense trees, leaving the road as your heart pounds like a drum in your chest and tears stream freely down your cheeks to soak the edge of Toji’s sweatshirt.

The tangled underbrush of the forest whips the soft skin of your legs and the forest itself seems to conspire against you as you navigate the obstacle course of branches, logs and large rocks all seemingly with a mission to slow you down.

You can hear the chilling howls of the wolves you saw on the road call out behind you, giving chase.

The sounds of their footfalls grow closer with every passing second.

Terrifying as they are, they hold no candle against the howl that sent you running and your body continues to propel you forward.

Panic frazzles your senses and you make the tragic error of trying to steal a glance back behind you before directly colliding with a large cedar.

Groaning from the impact you reel as you try to gather yourself, clinging to the tree for support.

You hear a twig snap behind you and you whirl around as you are faced with a largest gray wolf out of the pack who had been chasing you.

The alpha wolf’s teeth glint menacingly as their breath escapes in visible puffs in the frigid night air.

Too late to try to make a run for it again, you whimper as you resign yourself to your fate. You slid down the large tree to bury your face in your knees.

Was this it?

Was this how you died?

You weren’t even able to see Toji after coming all this way.

You also wanted to be able to hug Megumi one last time and maybe knock the daylights out of Tsukumo for her horrible ass idea.

But ultimately this was all your fault.

You could be snuggled up with Gumi on the sofa with snacks watching Anpanman but your dumbass had to go galavanting off into the middle of the woods like a fucking lunatic and now you’re about to be eaten by a wolf.

You could feel the wolf’s overbearing presence as it approached you but you couldn’t bear to look up. You’d rather spend your final moments thinking of Toji and Megumi.

Yet despite your impending doom, your head did snap up once you felt a rough tongue gently lick your ankles and curiously sniff at the ends of Toji's hoodie covering your legs.

The wolf was more than intimidating up close as its giant muzzle was the size of your entire head.

However the wolf regarded you cautiously like it almost recognized you before releasing its own chillingly deep howl and promptly running off.

Wait– T-The hell?!

You sat there at the trunk of the tree trying to process the interaction that just took place but you didn’t have much time to ponder as you heard something else approaching you rapidly.

The sound of snapping twigs and heavy, uneven footfalls don’t seem to be that of a wolf, renewing the sensation of dread through your body.

Your heart races in your chest as the ominous sounds of the being looming evermore closer become more pronounced.

From the shadows emerges a monstrous figure.

The fog doesn’t reach this deep into the forest and the moonlight that peeks between the trees glimmers on its enlarged taut muscles.

Its eyes, red, burn like fiery amber.

Fierce and resolute you can see them pierce through the darkness long before you can make out any features of the creature's face.

What you think upon first glance must be a demonic apparition from your worst nightmares ends up being–

Toji?!

As he steps into a beam of moonlight, the transformation before you is complete.

Toji’s once-human and feet hands have become formidable claws with nails like blades, his face remains mostly unchanged with the exception of his mouth which in his snarl reveals rows of gleaming, razor-sharp teeth.

He is still mostly human in appearance but you can tell he stands taller, nearly 8 feet.

The thicker body hair on his forearms bristles with raw power.

He was completely bare save for the tattered jeans barely hanging on his body that had torn from the sheer size of his enormous muscularity in this form.

Each step he takes towards you makes your heart skip a beat yet you stare transfixed, unable to look away and your tears increase.

Was this terrifying otherworldly apparition the boyfriend you had been searching for?

Time stands still in that haunting moment as Toji’s eyes bore into your soul with a predatory intensity.

His hunger and primal instincts radiates off of him like a palpable force.

“T-T-Toji?”

You cautiously inquire through your quiet sobs.

“Y/N?! What the fuck do you think y’er doing out here?”

Toji snarls back at you. His growl seems to cause the very atmosphere to vibrate and the earth beneath you quakes as your body involuntarily quivered with fear.

Toji thought he must have been losing his goddamn mind when he caught onto your scent earlier but here you were like a lost little lamb to the slaughter before him.

He came out onto the woods to be alone, away from civilization and away from you and Megumi during his monthly transformations.

It was safer that way, for all of you.

You had been fortunate the local wolf pack had acknowledged him as their Alpha and recognized his scent on you.

But there were far worse dangers in the forest besides them.

Toji wouldn’t be able to protect you like he was now.

Not with you needing protection from him too.

Protection from him as not only was it a full moon, it was a harvest moon, a mating moon.

The primal urge to rip you apart was only truncated by the more intense carnal urge to mate with you. Toji wanted to claim you as his and fuck you so hard into the girthy cedar behind you the entire tree would topple over by its roots.

He had wanted to claim you as his mate for a while now.

Even moved you in with him and Megumi as the final step but you couldn’t wait for that, could you?

You had managed to track him somehow all the way out here and throw his whole plan into the shitter.

He could barely control himself in this form as it is and now your scent, blubbering cries and the fucking harvest moon were sending him with full force into a fierce rut.

“T-Toji w-what is this!? W-what’s happened to you!? W-what are you doing out here?!”

Worry saturates your voice as you choke out your questions in rapid fire cries not giving him time to even respond.

Toji fights the predatory instinct in him who sees you as his prey and if your gaze wasn’t so focused on trying to read his face for answers you surely would have noticed him fully bricked near bursting out of his worn jeans.

You looked so appetizing.

He needed you.

However, Toji could tell your nerves were completely shot and the slightest twitch of his muscles toward you had you almost jumping out of your skin like a little bunny rabbit.

“Y-Y/N…”

His voice strained itself into a murmur as he attempted to do his best to lull you into some sort of security so he could explain things calmly to you.

Yet the way he was near salivating, drool dripping from his canines as he panted and towered over you did anything but make you feel secure.

You mistook his lust for bloodthirstiness.

“Just calm down. It’s OK.”

Toji needed you to be calm like he needed you to take steadier breaths if he was going to successfully win the tumultuous war he was fighting against his instincts to pounce on you.

There is an oppressive tension between the two of you and he can tell you are also fighting against your fight or flight reflexes.

Good girl.

It would be disastrous if you did something foolish, no telling what might happen then.

But unfortunately for the both of you, your fits of emotion and impulses are what had your crazy ass out here in the first place.

The pressure had officially gotten to you.

Toji’s lies, your car, the woods, the wolves, everything leading up to this point bubbled over because the last thing you wanted to be told right now was to ‘just calm down’.

You snapped.

“Ok? OK?! OKAY?!...TOJI WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT THIS IS O.K. RIGHT NOW!?”

You were practically hysterical as you yelled at him, momentarily forgetting your fears of Toji’s new form.

The trigger of being told to 'calm down' in a situation where you clearly had every right to feel every fucking emotion you wanted won out over everything else.

“MY CAR BROKE DOWN BECAUSE OF YOU DOING GOD KNOWS WHAT WITH WHOEVER THE FUCK OUT HERE, I LITERALLY WAS JUST CHASED BY WOLVES, ALMOST EATEN, AND Y-YOU… Y-YOU-”

A crackling snap came from above you and you realized Toji’s claws had completely ripped a large chunk out of the tree right above your head.

Your tantrum had in turn pushed him over the edge as well.

His irises flared intensely at you as you quivered under his gaze in fear.

He would have you but first, he would play with you a bit.

Things never happened the easy way with you.

Yet, that’s also exactly the way Toji liked it too. That's why he'd put up with you thus far.

A malevolent smirk dons Toji's features as his simple command issues an unsettling tremor running down into the depths of your being.

“Run.”

P2 HERE!

© ʙʟᴋᴋɪᴢᴢᴀᴛ 2023. ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ, ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ ꜰɪᴄꜱ, ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇꜱ, & ɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʙʏ ᴍᴇ ᴜɴʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪꜱᴇ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ

A/N: Count on Tsukumo to always given the wrong fuckin’ advice. Lmfao! Or was it the right advice in this case? Hmm we will see what happens next!

Smutty goodness in the next part. This part was just to set the horror mood!

I promise this fic isn't as nearly as long as Ghostface!Choso. It's looking to be about 8k total and I have 3.5k of P2 finished lol.

Reblog if you are both submissive and breedable for Werewolf!Toji, but likes and comments are appreciated all the same!

ღTaglistღ:

@callm3senpaii @arxliana @jujutsualy @luxiethefairy @fredswh0re @missphanosaur18 @moon-esque @briefrebelfanalmond @nikkitc0703 & @dancingwithdeities (prone bone coming in p2 just for u sweets!) LMK below if you would like to be tagged in P2. For all kizzatober fic tags comment on m.list.

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lovecla · 2 months ago

Text

IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME KNOW | jack hughes.

chapter ten:

➴ warnings: none :)

➴ word count: 1k

➴ author’s note: and finally, the last chapter of IYLM,LMK. this one’s a bit shorter but i wrote a longer epilogue for you guys :) i’ve been writing stories since i was ten years old but this is the first time i finish the entire thing and actually like it. don’t know how to thank each and every one of you for reading what i write and for appreciating it as much as i do. but thank you.

liked by jackhughes, tyla, nicohischier and 3,798,012 others

sophiamontenegro make me yours is officially, well, yours now!!!!

every time i release something i feel extremely lucky and grateful, no matter what. today, i'm more than happy to share this part of me with you all. we've been working on this album for a whole year now and it's insane how much things can change in such a short amount of time.

i've learned a lot about myself during this whole process and it's crazy yet so rewarding. this album is a message to everyone i love and to young sophia, specially.

hope u enjoy!!!!! 💙

View all 13,086 comments

morgan.grace Soph, i can’t tell you how PROUD i am. I’ve known you for almost six years now, and i pray every. Single. Day. That we have the rest of our lives together. I love you so much! Happy horny album day! 💙

sophiamontenegro morgan.grace i love u

user1 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

user12 Jack can u fight lol

ellievlasic woaaaaaaah

njdevils sophia MONTENEGRO 💜

_quinnhughes Congrats Soph!

sophiamontenegro _quinnhughes thanks quinny!

lhughes_06 _quinnhughes sophiamontenegro Y’all coming for dinner tonight ?

_quinnhughes lhughes_06 You could’ve just texted

sophiamontenegro _quinnhughes jack and i are coming!!!

user5 sophiamontenegro yeah i bet u are

user3 I’m so in love with this album, horny sophia is my favorite sophia

user11 thats that me espresso indeed

jackhughes I wonder who inspired you to write these songs

user67 jackhughes crazy shit to say tbh

— ♡

IN the beginning of January, you started writing your sixth album. Well, you started writing it officially, with the help of your songwriters and producers, because truthfully, you’d been writing it since you and Jack started seeing each other— just some random lines here and there in your Notes app on your phone, that quickly turned into songs.

Months passed and life got extremely busy. People seemed to be very interested in your relationship with Jack, in a weird, almost comical way. Several social media managers have already contacted your team to ask for your participation in YouTube videos, interviews and TikToks, but you refused most of them.

You didn’t mind about talking about Jack or spending time with him in studios, but you knew it wasn’t his cup of tea— even if he never said anything— so you just tried to separate your love life from your career.

The New Jersey Devils failed to make the Stanley Cup Playoffs, and Jack was really upset about it, just like Luke, Nico and the rest of the team, because despite what happened back in November, they all worked really hard.

Time passed after that, and it was summer again, one year since you and Jack started seeing each other. Sometimes, sitting on the bench at his and Quinn’s summer house, you ask yourself if things weren’t moving too fast. In less than a year, your life changed in ways you never even imagined before and you didn’t know if it was scary or not.

But whenever you thought of Jack, you remembered his thick, beautiful lashes, blond hair decorating his arms and legs, blue eyes that brought the ocean to you, smile that brightened the world.

You remembered how he took care of you, how he’d listen to your songs and recommend them to people, how he’d go to your concerts whenever he had the chance, and how he was often seen wearing your merch around town whenever the two of you weren’t together. How he’d watch you perform and congratulate you every time. How he’d spontaneously post pictures of you on his Instagram account, and how he’d reply to some of your fans' comments.

You had been right all along; Jack is your forever. He’s it for you.

You feel the sweet, cold breeze hit your face and you smile, watching as Jack, Quinn and Luke played with each other inside the lake, while Hischier talked with Ellen and Jim.

“Can you believe this is our life?” You asked, quietly.

“Actually, yeah, I can,” Grace replied beside you, laughing. “The only crazy thing about this is us falling in love with hockey players. Didn’t see that coming.”

“Right,” you nodded. “I can't imagine myself with anyone else though. That’s bad,” you joked.

“I don't know if it is that bad,” she shrugged. “Jack loves you a lot. That man can’t stop staring at you even when you’re ten feet away from him.”

You laughed, turning your head back in Jack’s direction, finding those blue eyes you loved so much immediately, who was now running towards you, with his body drenched.

“No, Jack, stay away!” You yelled, getting up quickly and running away from him.

“Soph!”

You started laughing, which made you lose your pace, making it easier for Jack to wrap his wet, cold arms around your body, wetting your white dress.

“Jack, stop, you’re making me wet!”

“That’s what she said,” he whispered in your ear, picking you up and making you wrap your legs around his waist. “Hi, Soph.” He smiled.

You gave in and kissed his lips, smiling softly as he kissed you back.

“Hi, Jack Hughes.”

He put you down and turned you around, wrapping his hands around your waist and resting his chin on your head. “I think this is the happiest I’ve ever been.”

That surprised you, and you felt yourself smiling even wider. “Not when you joined the Devils? Not when I won a VMA? Not when I gave you a blowjob just this morning—”

“Okay, okay,” he laughed, kissing your cheek. “Those are all super happy moments but right now, here with you, baby… I’ll never be this happy again.”

A few years later, you’d look back at that moment and think, oh, Jack, baby, that’s just the beginning. Because he would say the same thing years later, when he kissed you at the altar, or when he held your daughter for the first time.

“I get what you mean,” you snuggled closer, ignoring the wet clothes. “I’ve been happy before. I am happy. But this… this is different.”

“Yeah,” he whispered. “So different.”

“Will I ruin the moment if I say I need to go pee?” You bit your lip.

Jack laughed out loud and picked you up again. “I love you, Sophia Montenegro.”

“I love you more, Jack Hughes,”

“Well,” he kissed your cheek. “I think that’s up for debate.”

“Well. Maybe.”

— ♡

liked by sophiamontenegro, morgan.grace, ellievlasic and 219,983 others

jackhughes lucky fella. sophiamontenegro

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morgan.grace saurrrr cuteeeee I love you guys

user83 ADOPT ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

user86 imma start doing cocaine…

user1 i wanted to hate on them so bad but they lowkey fire asf :/

user7 soph when u hug him, remember you’re hugging my whole world…

nicohischier ❤️

user8 Ain’t no way he can handle all of that

trevorzegras user8 he can’t.

jackhughes trevorzegras fuck off

#jack hughes #jack hughes x you #jack hughes x oc #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes fic #jack hughes smut #jack hughes x singer!fmc #jack hughes x singer!reader #jack hughes insta edit #jack hughes au #jack hughes imagine #IYLMLMK

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fawnfictions · 9 months ago

Note

i know there’s a lot of this same prompt on this app but i love your writing and i would love to see it from you <33

OK!! Macaque and Wukong with a gender natural reader which simply LOVES their fur and gets really clingy on their tail and ear(s for macaque :3), treating them like a literal plushie

monkie plush!

— wukong & macaque, gn!reader

i feel the need to personally apologise for how many months it took for me to post this <//3 i've been SO SLOW recently,, i can't guarantee i'll be getting any faster, either

heheuwudhhey!! none of u should worry about sending me an ask with a 'common' prompt—just because someone else has done it before, doesn't mean i won't want to write it!!! i like giving ppl my own opinion on these sorts of headcanons LOL

;; fluff, fluff, and more fluff!! (+mention of something more spicy, but nothing explicit)...

WUKONG

- he RELISHES in any affection you give him, and he isn't afraid to show it.

- you'll come up behind him, embrace him while rubbing your face in his fur, and he will MELT.

- leans back into your arms, wrapping his tail around you to pull you even closer; and, if you're listening closely, you might hear quiet purring.

- honestly, he'll do the same to you — compared to monkey hair, human hair is VERY soft and feels very nice :3

- cuddles between you two are just constantly rubbing your faces in each others hair.

- i can also imagine that his tail would be sensitive, as most monkey's tails are...

- be careful, though, because certain areas of his tail are more sensitive than others — you may run into a situation you didn't mean to...

- ...ANYWAYS

- while i can imagine him being the big spoon a majority of the time, he could TOTALLY be a little spoon.

- he enjoys being able to hold YOU, since he likes feeling in control, and as if he's protecting you, but he'll happily sit back and let you cuddle him.

- play with his hair, twirl his tail, brush him...

- tbh, the other monkeys would probably join you a lot, interpreting it as a grooming session.

- me and the boys [monkeys], grooming each other on a sunday morning.

- he will complain, though, if you don't let him cuddle YOU sometimes.

- you two are almost sickening with the amount of PDA you show; cue MK pretending to puke in the background, but Wukong does have SOME decency, and will get a little embarrassed if you take it too far.

- if you're both out in public, chilling in Megapolis or something, and you start rubbing your face in his fur and cooing at him? he'll go red pretty quickly, and shyly respond with small affections in an attempt to sate your clinginess for now.

- this especially goes for being around people he feels the need to keep a reputation up with — like, the brotherhood, although most of them would laugh it off, they'll tease him for it at some point, or anyone from the celestial realm.

- he'll make it up to you later with plenty of cuddles, but for now? he's gotta look cool and tough in front of lil' old Nezha /j

MACAQUE

- hes touch starved as hell (we all know it).

- BUT he gets shy when it comes to affection, but he's hypocritical about it...

- constantly drapes himself over your shoulders, resting his head on top of your own when he gets the chance, etc etc.

- however, if you DARE even try to hug him, he's gonna get real nervous.

- doesn't know how to properly relax at your touch; he may not exactly move away from you, but he won't lean into it (at first).

- this especially goes for PDA – he loves you, but not now; he's gotta look cool and mysterious at all times.

- if you're with people that he lets his guard down around, he'll be a bit more playful with you.

- he notices you attempting to sneak behind him for a cuddle attack? next thing you know, theres a familiar cape-covered arm thrown over your shoulder, blocking your affection with his own with a teasing smile.

- he IS different when in private, though !!

- more willing to give in to your touches, but it is clear that he's unsure how to feel about it.

- after a while, though, i feel that he would learn to find a lot of comfort in your hands ?

- like, if he's had a rough day, he'll probably seek you out to be showered in affection,, in a way, it makes him feel very loved and worthy.

- he's such a little spoon too, i'm sorry LOL

- but he has his confident days, just ask and he'll be happy to be the one holding you instead.

- it took a while for him to be comfortable with normal affection, yeah? well, it's gonna take even LONGER for him to be comfortable with touching his ears, let alone losing the glamour on them.

- the day he lets his glamour down around you, is the day he's decided that you're stuck with him forever, sorry to break it to you...

- his ears are VERY sensitive, so please be careful, he's very cautious with you touching them.

- but he'll never admit how nice it feels for you to massages his ears, especially with how much stress they give him from the loud noises in the city (not that you can't tell, he's practically melted into your lap and would ABSOLUTELY be purring if he could).

- overall, it takes time, and he won't ever be fully comfortable with PDA, but he's a big softie in private <3

#— fawns fics #lego monkie kid #lmk #fluff #macaque x reader #platonic #headcanons #monkey king x reader #sun wukong x reader #wukong x reader #six eared macaque x reader

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milkbobatyun · 4 months ago

Text

when im with you, i get heaven to myself

genre: angst, what could've been

summary: it's been a long time without him, the life and sparkle in your eyes diminished the day he exited from your life.

word count: 706

inspired by: the astronaut —by jin, bts

a/n: this has been sitting in my notes app for like 9 months already LOL i was originally going to post this on wattpad but then i decided to start a tumblr acc so i thought, why not share it on here instead? ik im usually a taehyun centered blog but i thought i'd shake it up by posting a random anime fic. while i wrote this with the vibes of geto in my head, this could be read in a way that reflects your comfort character.

you didn’t know what you missed the most about him.

was it the lingering smell of cigarettes when he tried to sneakily smoke, knowing you hated the habit but also somewhat enjoyed the lingering scent that would hang on his leather jackets that he lent you?

was it the late night drives around the city, just the two of you, no one else. you always felt like you had heaven to yourself, the only two in this quiet little world, watching the orange street lights flicker past.

was it the warmth his hand offered when your hands were engulfed in his during your late night winter trips to the convenience store down the street, talking about nothing and everything at once, swinging your intertwined hands to the rhythm of your walking?

was it the late night sessions of watching him try to pass the level you were stuck on in your latest game, while you lay comfortably on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and finding his quiet whines and noises of frustration cute. after all, who wouldn’t find it adorable that a 180cm tall man who intimidated many, pout after he lost to a game?

was it the silly sessions of self care routines that you insisted on having every fortnight? the silly photos you took of each other in face masks or pulling silly faces while one of you styled the other’s hair? you remember that one selfie you took together was your lock screen, you favourite photo.

was it the afternoons you spent gaming together, complaining, cursing and throwing cushions at each other when one of you beat the other in the game?

was it the spontaneous photo shoots taken when a certain location or lighting caught your eye, so the two of you would spend ages looking on pinterest to find poses and couple poses to recreate for fun?

was it the sneaky photos you took of each other when the other wasn’t looking? like how you have a photo of him playing with your puppy and cat, while he has a matching photo of you playing in the snow with your two pets, or as you loved to call them, your children, your fur babies.

was it the moments where you behaved like a married couple, cooking and preparing meals for each other when either one was busy and coming home late, or together, when the both of you had free time?

was it the terrible karaoke sessions that you would have, paired with a few sneaky shots of alcohol taken from his best friend’s collection, unbeknownst to him?

was it the warm, cosy cuddling sessions that you would have almost every night? if you were cuddling on your bed, was it listening to his quiet voice grumble about how you have so many plushies on your bed, yet he always made sure to get you more?

was it the tense moments of watching him win you more plushies at fairs, festivals and arcades, despite complaining about your ever growing collection, knowing in his heart that he was the main contributor to their increasing population?

was it the endearing moments of witnessing each other try to learn more about the other’s culture and language?

was it the softer moments, when he caressed your hair, murmuring his love for you in your ear, thinking you were asleep?

was it when he would wipe away your tears, or listen to you voice out your frustrations about the world, comforting you through making you delicious food?

was it the familiar curve of his smile which hid his beautiful fox eyes from you?

was it the way he called your name? the way he looked at you?

or was it his laugh, so soft but contagious?

was it...? gods the list could go on, but whatever it was, you knew deep in your heart.

you missed suguru geto. you missed him a lot. you wished that he would come back. come back and collect up your broken pieces, come home, because he was your missing puzzle piece.

without him, the house felt colder, the engagement ring on your finger, the one you picked together, sat heavy on your finger, a constant reminder of his absence.

∧,,,∧

( ̳• · • ̳) © curated with love by milkbobayun 2024

/ づ ♡

#jjk x reader #geto x reader #geto suguru x reader #jujutsu kaisen angst #suguru geto x reader #suguru geto headcanons #suguru geto #jjk suguru #jujustu kaisen #jjk angst #jjk geto #geto angst

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sylvies-chen · 8 months ago

Text

sweet nothing sleeping

summary: lucy has never been so happy to have fallen in love as she is when she’s falling asleep

pairing: tim bradford/lucy chen

word count: short??? i wrote this on notes app don’t ask me to count

warnings: none

a/n: this was written at *many* a 2am but it was my coping mechanism for the chenford breakup so there will be nothing but fluff and happiness here!! but also sorry in advance for any typos. written for my @morganupstead who gave me this idea ages ago and I just took forever to write it LOL

••• ••• ••• •••

cause they said the end is coming

everyone’s up to something

I find myself running home to your

sweet nothings

She’s had a long day.

The list of grievances wracked up in a single shift has been nothing short of astounding. For example: a man no less than an hour into her first stretch of patrol who puked on her. A bar fight gone horribly wrong, and he was drunk out of his mind so when she showed up at the tail end of a swift punch to the drunkard’s gut then… well, you can figure out the rest. Then another man threatened to sue her and the entire LAPD Mid Wilshire division because he refused to be told by a woman to stop ejaculating in public. Nothing but insufferable misdemeanours one after the other, without end. The robbery homicide tailing the end of her shift was the worst. Lucy doesn’t know what’s more horrible: how violent the young married couple’s death was, or how her first thought was that she wished she could have been the detective on a flashy case like this. Knowing she was even capable of putting her career before her compassion and duty left her gutted.

It leaves her now with a bitter aftertaste of guilt and shame. That coupled with the exhaustion and ridicule of her other calls makes for a particularly dreadful combination. Normally she can see Tim in passing and vent to him about things, but he’d been stuck in some new Metro training program all day. Updated protocol or tactical practice, or whatever they wanted to call it. Based on the state she sees Tim in at the end of one of those days, she’d call it something more akin to torture. It also means she had no support system throughout the day whatsoever apart from Nolan’s typical words of encouragement, which were swell but never substantive.

Since Tamara’s moved out, things have been lonely too. She misses her old roommate. If nothing else, at the end of the day Lucy still had a young and vulnerable kid she had to feed and house and clothe. Cooking for them always felt like a backup ritual, a healing sort of constancy, and that’s gone too.

So she heads to Tim’s. Her foot feels like lead on the gas, pushing down hard and inching dangerously closer to speeding the closer she gets to his place. It’s like her heart can feel the distance closing and misses him even more, the weight of her bad day crushing her heart and leaving spider fractures. A magnetic pull is always at its strongest the minute before contact, after all.

For the most part, Lucy’s been able to hold it together. She’s kept things professional, never complained, held her head high. And even as she trembles with anticipation as she knocks on the door, there’s a part of her refusing to let go of that facade.

She knocks at the door, but there’s no answer. Three louder knocks after a minute of waiting, and still nothing. Only after a third round of knocking does she think to use the spare key he’d given her last month.

“Hi,” Lucy calls out as she enters his place. No immediate response, but that’s no matter. She puts the keys down in his key bowl and hangs up her jacket.

The sound of nails skidding against the floor alert her only seconds in advance to Kojo’s presence. He runs up to her full speed but comes to a screeching halt when he reaches her. With his tail still waving fervently, he tries to sit down. (Tim’s trained him to understand that petting and general affection from guests is contingent upon his very handsome sitting.)

“Kojo! Hey there buddy,” she greets him with a soft laugh, like an old friend. Lucy knows by now, even having owned him once, to scratch him behind his ears. The gesture earns her a right good lick from chin to cheek on the left side of her face.

“Yeah, you’re a good boy, aren’t you? You’re a good boy,” she tells him as she keeps petting him. “Now where’s our Tim?”

She looks around half expecting Tim to appear in the hallway, but no sign of him is to be seen anywhere, save for the sound of his television from the next room. Football. Figures.

“Alright, Sir Kojo, King of the Canines,” she declares, patting him on the head and gently urging him forward by the collar, “let’s see what your dad’s watching.”

The two of them make their way to the family room to see what he’s up to. For a football game, Lucy’s already surprised that he isn’t shouting at the TV and jumping up and down like he normally does.

When she enters the room though, she doesn’t see him watching sports. Instead, she sees a passed-out Tim on the couch, snoring in his Rams jersey, remote loosely balanced in his hand. She tilts her head, curiously soaking in the scene.

She should have expected this. He’s been working as hard as she has lately. Though she isn’t entirely sure as to why, he’s been taking on extra shifts and doing double overtime these past two weeks. God knows he didn’t have the steam for a full game of football. Tack on her unexpected company, and she’s sure she’ll tire him out even more.

But the look of him. The television emits a soft glow that flashes hues of green and blue across his stubbled cheekbones. His head hangs back completely crooked on the headrest, and with the positioning of his arms, Tim’s posed like a dramatic renaissance painting. She can’t help but let out a soft giggle under her breath, and then silences into the brightest of smiles she can give after a day like hers, because nothing about this is funny anymore.

Even drooling, his mere presence soothes her. Lying there, entirely disarmed and peaceful. The world and all its troubles just melt away, dissolve in her mind until only a faint trace of what remains lingers like dust. It’s a beautiful haze Lucy can get stuck in, just standing there and watching him. The tight corners of his mouth, his eyes shut gently, the curve of his neck, the way his hair’s a little shorter right now.

Oh hell. Who is she to disrupt him anyways.

She tiptoes over to the couch and carefully extracts the remote from his hand. Turning the television off to avoid more light and sound will definitely help him sleep. Whether Tim’s asleep or awake, it doesn’t matter. Lucy always sleeps better when she’s next to him.

What doesn’t help Tim sleep, apparently, is Kojo. Having followed Lucy into the room, though she will defend him ferociously and say his heart is in the right place, Kojo makes a beeline for the couch and starts pulling at Tim’s jeans with his sharp canine teeth.

“No! No, Kojo! Bad Kojo, stay back,” she pleads in a whisper pushed out through gritted teeth.

Kojo seems to only get more excited— a sort of escalation which Lucy saw all too frequently in her calls from today. Tim jolts awake almost immediately.

“What the-“ he sits up and pulls his jeans away from Kojo, but then looks up at Lucy, still hovering over him guilty as ever. “Lucy?”

“Sorry.” She winces, finally shooing Kojo away enough to give them more space. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I was trying to put a blanket over you but Kojo got excited.”

“It’s okay,” he assures her, though he’s still rubbing at his eyes. Lucy’s almost certain he’s still half asleep and hasn’t registered the whole situation before him. “I gave you a key for a reason. What are you doing here?”

“I…” She tries to explain it rationally to him, to go through each bad happening chronologically, to compartmentalize. But then, his voice. His sweet, low, milky, humming voice like the pulse of a heart being soothed into a slower rhythm. It’s so steady, so calm. Something about hearing it unlocks a valve within her. She cracks, as she knew she would when she decided to come, and before she knows it she’s crying.

“Hey, hey,” Tim hushes gently, immediately sitting up. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Oh nothing,” she sobs. “I just had a crappy day. I got puked on and yelled at and all this nonsense which I can normally handle but I don’t even know why I’m… why I’m…”

“Don’t question it too much,” he tells her. “Just let it out.”

“Okay.”

And so she does. For a little bit, she just cries. Surprisingly, it’s not sad. The world isn’t ending, nothing is going to go wrong. There is no other shoe about to drop, no real heartbreak, no evil around. These tears are but a release, and there’s a safety to them.

Once she’s done, she wipes at her tears with her sleeves and sniffles.

“Better?”

“Better,” she says, and can really mean it, genuine smile and all. “Thanks.”

“You never have to thank me.”

She nods, but switches the subject. “You never told me how you’re Metro seminar went today.”

“Eh, it was alright,” he says. “Apart from being exhausted and sore all over, of course. We’ve got some new recruits who are… eager.”

She looks at him with loving suspicion. “You went full Tim 1.0 on them, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” he admits with a big huff of relief. “I ran through the drills and protocol updates 36 times because they couldn’t get it right. I didn’t have the heart to just demote them from my team.”

“Tim Bradford not having the heart for a tough love moment? Who are you?” She teases. “Where was this energy 6 years ago?”

“Waiting for you to come along and change it, I guess,” he sighs wistfully. “Always just waiting for you.”

“You’ve gone soft, Sergeant Bradford.” She shakes her head. “People will talk.”

“Let them.”

He pulls her in for a kiss, and it only deepens for a moment, then plateauing into a pleasant and chaste hum before release. His arms pull her into his side and her head finds that perfect spot on his chest to nestle into.

The sigh she lets out is almost a song. “This feels good, being here with you. Feeling at peace.”

“Just wait for it.”

“Huh?”

Lucy doesn’t know how Tim saw this coming, but before even asking she’s given an answer. Kojo jumps up onto the couch and steps on Lucy’s lap to lick her and Tim all over their tired, sweaty faces.

“Argh! Kojo, off!” She squeals, though not so gravely that she can’t laugh in the process. Eventually, with enough shooing, Kojo calms down. He doesn’t leave the couch, but lies down next to them, choosing to rest his head on her lap and make happy little sighs.

“Told you.”

“How did you know he would do that?”

Tim shrugs. “He’s happier when you’re around. Like me.”

Lucy smiles, even when pushing Kojo off of them. “I love you.”

Tim doesn’t respond. Too much time passes. A beat, and then another. She gets worried.

“Tim?”

“Oh so you weren’t talking to the dog then?”

She giggles and smacks him playfully across the chest with the back of her hand. “No! Well I do love him, but he drools. And you’re—“

“Human?”

“The love of my life.”

She watches the ripple of those words dance across his face. Tim smiles, his cheeks turning all shades of pink and red. Though he doesn’t seem scared off by her comment, the surprise of it still shows in his raised eyebrows and subsequent lines in his forehead. The way his head tilts, like he can’t quite believe it. But, above all else, the love in his eyes. And that way he’s looking at her now… sometimes she thinks that’s what life’s all about.

“I know I don’t have to be yours,” she continues. “You know, having been married before and all, but—“

“Don’t think for a second you aren’t,” he lets out, almost like the words couldn’t contain themselves. “You are.”

“Good.” Her turn now: the ridiculous blushing, the smile, the love in her eyes. So much joy.

So much fatigue too though. Being around him, getting to decompress like this, it’s making her crash fast. She yawns, and Tim yawns in subconscious response, and out of his own fatigue.

“I should get going,” Lucy tells him, though her face is still nestled into his sweater and has no intention of leaving. “I really only came over to feel some comfort and decompress but I didn’t bring a change of clothes or anything.”

“Mmm,” he groans in disapproval of the idea. “Stay for a bit.”

“No. No, I’ve… gotta…” She sucks in a deep breath, Tim’s woody scent catching onto her nose. Her eyes flutter and her muscles start to release their tension as the hand which isn’t sprawled across Tim’s chest starts to massage the spot behind Kojo’s ear.

“Oh, maybe just a few minutes…” she tells him hesitantly. “But keep me talking, I don’t want to fall asleep.”

“Ok. What about the rest of your day? You never finished telling me all the things that had you so upset.”

“Well it started when the air conditioning in the shop nearly exploded on me, and then I immediately took my first call at this dive bar before I could get it fixed. But oh, you won’t believe what this one guy did…”

Lucy goes on and on, her eyes growing heavy and her voice growing layers of drowsy rasp, fighting sleep to tell all her stories of woe. The drunkards, the sexist pigs, the violence. Part of her registers Tim’s lack of response or reaction as she tells her stories. Time passes. She talks, and he listens.

“I think it’s better not to dwell on it though,” she concludes eventually. “I’ve felt all I can feel about it for one day. And anyways I… I can barely remember my own anguish now. It feels so far aw—“

She looks up to see him passed out, his breathing a low rumble that threatens snoring. The soft fur under her other hand feels alarmingly still as well, until she looks to the other side and sees Kojo sleeping on her lap.

So much for leaving. She supposes that’s exactly how she wants things anyway. The heartbeats of these two precious boys at the tips of her fingers, nestled right next to hers. Giving her strength, steadying her scattered mind. Under these dim lights and warm blankets and beloved company, she wouldn’t dare move a muscle.

“Oh hell, who was I kidding,” she whispers to him. “I was always going to end up here anyways. With you.”

She rests her head on his chest once more. The last thing she remembers is the rise and fall of Tim’s chest against her hand and the feel of Kojo’s soft fur against her other.

This isn’t a big moment. No fireworks, no heartfelt confessions, no twirls or kisses in the rain. But even as the day ends and the lights go out, she feels love where it dwells best: in a quiet room. And it remains that Lucy has never been so happy to have fallen in love as she is when she’s falling asleep.

#the rookie #chenford #abby writes #lucy chen #tim bradford #kojo #lucy x tim #tim x lucy #chenford fanfic

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reallychaoticwoo · 3 months ago

Text

Please bare with me here this is my first fic ever. I don't have a word count as i literally wrote it on my notes app. It half butt proof read. Should be pretty tame, just really long lol. Please feel free to lmk what you think 😊

❤️Pairing: Chan x reader

⚠️: mentions of alcohol, the guys being mischievous, other than that, I think we're safe here. Please let me know if I missed anything!

✨️Please note that this is purely a work of fiction and does not represent the idols in any way.

Tonight was the night. Your monthy karaoke night with your bestie Jisung and his boyfriend Minho. For the past three years this has been your little groups tradition. You'd go out to eat, sing your hearts out, and sleep over at the dorms. Some nights when you guys got back the rest of the boys would be awake and you'd all play board games, video games, or just sit around and watch a movie. You had gotten to know them all pretty well now. The first three had met were Seungmin, I.N, and Felix. The first night Jisung brought you back to the dorms you were pretty buzzed and the three had been up playing video games pretty late. Jisung and Minho had plopped down in the chairs opposite of each other in the living room and you sat on the floor in front of Jisung. You guys sat there and watched the three play for a while until you finally ended up falling asleep against Jisung's knee. That's when the sleepovers officially started. Tonight, like most, the guys were still up when you all finally made it back. They had pretty much integrated themselves into the tradition of monthly board game nights with you over the few years. You walked in the door laughing while Minho was scolding Jisung yet again for forgetting to grab his house key before they left. At this point, you'd think Minho would know better than to trust Jisung to remember such a small object when he was always rushing to leave on karaoke night. When you made it inside you saw all the guys sitting in various spots around the coffee table. Felix, I.N, and Changbin where on the couch watching the TV. Hyunjin sat in the chair to the left of the couch drawing in his sketch book. Seungmin was in the opposite chair scrolling on his phone looking somewhat amused when a clip of him calling Chan "old" appeared on his feed. Chan, however, seemed to be missing. It was honestly pretty normal for Chan to be absent. In the three years you've known Jisung you can only recall ever seeing Chan a handful of times, and you've only ever talked to him once. He was always busy working on music, working out, or just "doing what Chan does" according to the guys. You sat on the floor in front of the couch leaning back between Changbin's legs.

"Soo, how'd it go? Add any new songs to your set tonight?" Changbin joked nudging you with his knee lightly.

"Actually I did! Jisung and I put on quite the performance", you said, while smiling at Jisung.

Jisung told them how you guys had gone through all your usual songs when Minho surprised you both with one you two hadn't sung together before. Regardless, you both killed it and had Minho looking somewhat irritated his little plan to embarras you both didn't work.

"I was thinking we could watch Deadpool tonight, if that's cool with you all?". Felix scanned the room receiving nods from everyone before getting up and heading to the kitchen to make some popcorn. I.N insisted someone text Chan to join them for the movie tonight. He somehow got everyone to convince Minho to text Chan since the other members absolutely refused to disturb him if he happened to be working.

Chan was sitting in his studio, like he did most nights, headphones in and working away. He'd just finished working on the beat he'd been so obsessed over for the past 3 months. Something about it just didn't feel right to him and he couldn't accept it being anything less than perfect. As he leaned back in his chair, sighing, he pulled out his phone and saw a text from Minho.

'The kids all practically begged me to ask you to join us for movie night. We're watching Deadpool.'

Chan decided that it's been a while since he'd let himself enjoy a night off so he replied, 'Give me 10 mins and I'll be there'.

He made sure to save his work again. 'Can never be too careful', he thought to himself. He shut his laptop, shoved it into his bag and quickly headed to his room to put on something more comfortable.

"Chan said he'll be here in 10." Minho said loudly so that everyone could hear him since Felix and Jisung where arguing, once again, over who had better taste in popcorn. Felix said he liked his with a lot of butter, whereas Jisung, preferred caramel popcorn. You shook your head laughing to yourself, "I'm surprised you haven't turned into a pile of sugar yet with how much you love sweets, Ji." looking a Jisung with a quirked brow. Just moments later he and Felix finally walked back into the livingroom with the most comically large bowl of popcorn you've ever seen. Your eyes widened looking at the two like they've lost their minds, once again trying to refrain from laughing.

"What? There's literally going to be 9 of us and what if we want to have a popcorn fight later? We just needed to be prepared" Felix said grinning like a toddler who was trying to act cute while getting scolded.

"Who says it has to be later?", You said, grabbing a peice of popcorn and throwing it at him as he went to sit back down.

Just as the movie started, Chan walked in. "Looks like I made it just in time, huh?" He said quirking a brow at the boys.

"We weren't going to let it fully start without you, just the intro" I.N said somewhat jokingly while shrugging his shoulders.

Chan sat down on the floor near you but more towards the coffee table, which he rested his arms on starting a the TV.

About halfway through the movie, you got up asking everyone if they wanted a drink since you were heading to the kitchen to grab one for yourself. Most of them nodded and you headed to the fridge.

As you were pulling out drinks for everyone you heard someone ask if you needed any help. You let out a yelp, jumping back and hitting your head on the door of the freezer above you.

"Ouch!" you yelped while rubbing your head.

Chan reached out to steady you with an apologetic look on his face, "sorry I didn't mean to scare you. I just figured you could use some help carrying everyone's drinks".

You gave a small smile and nodded, "That'd be great thank you."

"You alright?" He asked scratching at his neck looking almost embarrassed, pulling his hand away from your back. "I really didn't mean to startle you.."

"I'm fine, I promise." Letting out a faint laugh, "The guys have had me injuring myself much worse with their little pranks. By the way, I'm glad you chose to join us tonight. It's nice getting to actually see you, haha. I know the guys are happy you're taking a break for once."

He chuckled a bit before saying, "Yeah, they are a chaotic bunch. That's why I work as much as I do. I want them to be able to enjoy life as much as they can. It's my job to make sure that happens. I'm glad I was able to hang out tonight too, I've definitely missed having some time with them. Plus it's nice finally having a chance to get to know you."

You gave him a smile and a nod, trying to stop yourself from blushing before turning away to grab for the drinks you'd set down on the counter.

You both walked back into the livingroom handing everyone their drinks before sitting back down at the base of the couch.

Changbin tapped your shoulder, "Hey switch spots with me." He whispered.

You looked at him puzzled but switched with him anyways. A few minutes later, Seungmin moved to the floor, followed closely by Felix who pulled a pillow down with him so he could prop himself up a bit and lay down.

You were confused as to why everyone had moved as soon as you sat down, but you just chalked it up to them trying to be respectful knowing very well you'd probably fall asleep before the movie was over. You giggled to yourself thinking about the fact you really haven't ever made it through a full movie since you've known them. You always fell asleep wherever you sat, and if someone was near you'd be falling asleep on their shoulder or against their knee.

Seungmins voice was the one to pull you out of your thoughts. "Hey old man, move your head we can't see the TV".

Chan hadn't even noticed the guys had moved down to the floor behind him. "And where exactly should I move my head huh? Here?" Chan said moving directly in front of Seungmin now. Seungmin just rolled his eyes and nodded his head to the direction of the couch. After a few moments of half joking half annoyed staring from the both of them Chan moved to sit on the opposite end of the couch. Suengmin giving a subtle nod to the other two boys on the floor as he did.

The movie had about 30 minutes left and your eyelids were feeling extremely heavy. You'd dosed off once or twice nodding awake once your head started falling. Chan having noticed you getting tired out of the corner of his eye pulled down a blanket from the back of the couch and placed it over you. You smiled at him shyly mouthing "thank you" as you cuddled into the blanket shifting yourself so were now more on your side with your head resting against the arm rest. You let out a yawn and drifted to sleep.

The movie credits started rolling and the guys slowly all started getting up. A few stretching, some yawning. Hyunjin looked over at the couch somewhat puzzled as he had been too focused on the movie to notice anything going on around him. He shot a look to the three guys who were now standing from their spots on the floor silently questioning them.

"It was Changbins idea" Felix said looking at Hyunjin innocently.

Changbin elbowed felix in the ribcage. "Hey!"

Seungmin shot them both a glare whisper yelling at them to shut up so they didn't wake you... and Chan?

Chan must've been tired from staying up late every night for the past month. Because now, he was fast asleep, head leaned back against the couch, mouth open, almost snoring. And you, you were no longer curled into a ball. Your feet layed on Chan's lap, your arm falling off the couch, and a little puddle of drool lay next to your mouth.

"You can't tell me they don't look adorable" Changbin said shrugging his shoulders looking at Hyunjin.

"Regardless, you guys all know better than to try and push these things." Hyunjin said, giving them his signature eyeroll.

Jisung and Minho stepped next to them, having seen and overheard everything.

"I don't know Jinnie, Chan could really benefit from finding someone. Might finally get him to take care of himself too." Jisung said wiggling his brows playfully.

"Not that you're wrong babe, but that's up to HIM, not anyone else" Minho said shooting pointed looks at the three musketeers of meddling.

They all looked in opposite directions feigning innocence. "Well I guess we will see in the morning. We all know better by now than to wake either of them when they're sleeping" Hyunjin said before walking off to go to sleep himself.

And he was right, both you and Chan were definitely NOT little rays of sunshine if woken up before you were ready. So they let you sleep. Together. Because that couldn't possibly cause any issues tomorrow.

Faint sounds of arguing coming from the kitchen is what had you slowly waking up the next morning. Seungmin and Felix almost setting the entire kitchen on fire while trying to make breakfast and Minho scolding them for trying to cook together again after what happened last time. You groaned, rolling your closed eyes and reaching back to throw a pillow in their direction for waking you up with their nonsense when you felt an arm pull you back down. Your eyes widened and you quickly turned around to see Chan. The boys started to quiet down worried they might wake you or Chan up.

You on the other hand, you were staring at a very much asleep, very seep deprived Chan. The boys had told you stories about how cranky Chan would get at them when they woke him up so you decided to just lay back down and get some more sleep yourself.

Little did you know that Chan was also somewhat awake due to the boys in the kitchen being ungodly loud. Well actually, he was somewhat woken up by you when you shifted to throw a pillow at them. He decided to keep his eyes shut once he realized he was pulling YOU down and back into him. Luckily for him, you didn't seem to notice that he'd been pretending to be asleep as to not embarras himself. Also luckily for him, you'd decided to let it slide and lay back down.

Despite sleeping on a couch with another person, it was probably the best nights sleep Chan had gotten in years. Little did he know it was the same for you.

About 30 minutes later the rest of the guys had piled into the kitchen. Faint whispers asking about if you or Chan had woken up yet.

"I could've sworn I saw y/n about to throw a pillow earlier when I was scolding Felix and Min, but when I looked again she was laying back down" Minho said.

The guys all looked at each other, some confused, some knowing, and Jisung wiggling his brows at Felix, who smacked his shoulder for it.

"Ouch! That hurt you know!" Jisung yelped.

"That was the point idiot" Felix smirked back at him.

This time it was Chan who reached over you to grab a pillow and throw it at the guys. "Will you all shut up! She's sleeping and you haven't quit bickering for the last 10 minutes. Do me a favor Minho, grab my card and take the boys with you. Go grab some breakfast, on me."

Minho looked and Chan with a quirked brow and a sly smirk, but Chan shot him a death glare and Minho went to go grab the card.

It was about 15 minutes after the 7 guys had left that you started waking up again. This time though, Chan was already awake smiling at you sweetly but a bit nervously.

"Its really quiet in here, what'd you do? Muzzle them?" You jokingly question with a yawn.

"I just didn't want them to wake you, so I sent them out for breakfast. They've told me how you're not really a ray of sunshine when waking up." Chan said with a small laugh.

You went to sit up, noticing Chan's arm still laid lazily over your hip.

He rubbed the back of his neck again, "oh, um, sorry about that." He said pulling his arm back and sitting up himself.

You let out a big yawn while stretching your back. You smiled at him warmly "it's okay, I assume you didn't make it through the movie either? The guys told me you rarely ever sleep and apparently aren't a ray of sunshine in the morning yourself", nudging his side with your elbow.

He let out a small huff "Heh. I'm really not, it doesn't help there's so many of them. They couldn't sit in silence if their lives depended on it."

You let out a snort "oh don't I know it. The past 4 times we've had a movie night I couldn't tell you what any of the movies were about. It's kind of adorable though, they all get along so well even when they're fighting"

Chan smiled to himself, "Yeah, we're definitely family now. As annoying as it is, I wouldn't have it any other way. Sorry for um, basically smothering you though. I didn't really plan on falling asleep."

You let out a small giggle looking at your hands, "It's okay. I'm 99% the boys planned for it to happen. I'm not upset. To be honest, it's probably the best I've slept in years. Not to be weird or anything.."

Chan nodded, "Oh did they? I'm gonna kill them when they get back! And I get it honestly. I rarely ever sleep so it was nice to get a good rest for once. You make a good body pillow." He giggled and poked/pushed your shoulder.

"No need to commit murder now haha. Besides if I know them it was probably Changbin or Felix's idea. They haven't shut up about how you need to get out there more and all you ever do is work." You joked back at him.

Chan scoffed, "And just exactly how many times have they been talking about me now?"

"Ummm, let's just say I've been hearing it here and there since we started the whole karaoke, movie night, sleepover tradition" You said nodding your head side to side.

"Remind me to thank them for consistently making me seem like some desperate hermit for the past few years." He rolled his eyes, pouting to himself.

You snorted and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Well if it makes you feel any better, I get it. I'm somewhat of a 'desperate hermit' myself. Um, actually, scratch the desperate part.." You lifted your hand from his shoulder and face palmed, cringing at yourself.

Just then the boys walked back through the front door. Felix was the first to say something, "We brought you both some food" he said with a big grin on his face.

Chan just stared at him and then looked at Changbin and then back to Felix. "Alright boys, who's bright idea was this?" He motioned between you and himself. You covered your face with your hands only peaking through to look at the pure guilt on their faces.

Felix was quick to throw Changbin under the bus and Changbin was quick to do the same to Lix.

Chan looking only slightly amused said, "I'm gonna give you to the count of three. One.... Two..."

And both boys took off running. Felix aggressively handing the food to Jisung before taking off to run upstairs away from Chan. Chan almost immediately taking off himself to go hunt the two meddling musketeers down.

"Well that probably won't take too long, but why don't you come to the kitchen and eat something anyways" Jisung said grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you up off the couch into the kitchen.

Seungmin sat next to you at the island as Jisung handed you your food.

"Just so you know, it wasn't just their idea" he said leaning closer to you so he could whisper it. Smirking as he sat there.

"Oooo Min, I thought you we're more clever than that" You said with a smirk of your own.

Chan and the two boys came running down the stairs toppling over each other with Chan having Felix in a playful head lock and Changbin trying to pull Chan off. Chan let go and walked over to take a seat at the island grabbing his food.

"So Minnie here let me know that he was also involved in their little scheme" You said to Chan while glancing at Seungmin with a mischievous smirk.

"OH, was he??" Chan said, brow quirked in Seungmins direction.

Seungmin's glaring at you came to a quick end when Chan reached around you to wack his younger friend upside the back of his head, leaving you giggling uncontrollably.

"Well, as always, this was eventful" You said grabbing your purse and getting ready to head out. "I'll see ya'll soon." Smiling warmly. You gave Jisung a big hug and then Minho. You waved to the rest of the guys, and then went on your way.

Before you could make it down the hallway to leave the dorms you heard Chan call your name. You turned around to see him jogging your way. Finally reaching you, looking a little nervous, he said, "Um, I was going to see if maybe I could get your number? You know since I'm sure you have everyone else's.. and um, just so we could maybe also talk on more than just movie nights. You know what, never mind, just ignore me."

"Hand me your phone." You put your hand out and giggled at how adorably awkward he was.

"You sure? It's okay, I don't want you to feel like you need to. I mean we've really only talked this one time anyways" He said still somewhat cringing at himself, but sounding a bit more hopeful.

"Chan, just give me your phone." You rolled your eyes smiling at him, putting your number in his phone. You decided to be a little ballsy and put a winky face next to your name. "Us actually talking some this time was nice. Plus you having my number just means we can become as close as I am with the rest of the guys. We have some catching up to do Mr. Workaholic." You nudged him, handing him back his phone.

"Haha that we do. Well, in that case, I'll talk to you later. Be safe" He said before heading back into the dorms.

You were sitting at work, watching the clock, just waiting to head home and relax. Your phone lit up and you checked the notification.

'Hey its Chan, just thought I'd text you so you could have my number in your phone haha'

You smiled to yourself and texted him back.

'Hey! Thanks I probably should've gotten yours too when I gave you mine haha'

'Welp you got it now 🐺"

'That I do lol. What are you up to today?'

'Just working, as always. Bout to take a break and go get some food. You?'

You thought to yourself for a second before replying. Maybe you could get to know him a bit better? Or would that be weird? You decided to just ask anyways.

'I get off in 30 mins and I'm starving, would you want to grab a bite with me??'

'Sure, that'd be great just let me know where'

You texted him the address for you favorite small restaurant and saved his number under 'Chan🐺'.

You guys met up and sat down at your usual table. You made awkward small talk for a while before you both finally started opening up. You asked him about his music and some of his favorite songs. And you told him how you were thinking about getting into dancing again and how you used to dance when you were younger. You both just chatted for about 2 hours before Chan said he should probably get back to work.

"Thanks for joining me, it was really nice to get to actually know you" You said smiling warmly.

"Thanks for inviting me, it was nice getting out of the house and enjoying myself for once." He replied before adding, "If you ever need a food buddy again let me know".

"Don't tempt me, it's a lot nicer eating with good company than alone". You smiled a bit of blush starting to make it's way to your cheeks.

You both said your goodbyes and headed to your houses.

You and Chan met for lunch about once a week after that. Chatting and every now and then maybe a little bit of subtle flirting neither of you were sure if the other person meant to do or not. You talked more about his music and how you planned on taking on some dance classes once you found a new place to stay. It'd become your new tradition, just the two of you. You liked that you had more time to figure him out and get to know more about him other than the ghost of a man the boys always said he was. You were really starting to enjoy his company, maybe a little too much? It didn't matter you were positive it was just a momentary crush. Nothing more. Right?

Karaoke night came quicker than you thought. You'd been so busy with work, your weekly lunches with Chan and trying to figure out where you'd be moving when your lease was up in a month that you'd almost forgotten about it.

You started getting ready for the night out with your best friends. This time though, you actually put effort into your appearance. You questioned yourself as to why you were even doing it. It's not like Jisung and Minho haven't seen you looking like like death, puking your guts up from way too many drinks, makeup smudged and hair a mess. I mean they've been the ones to hold your hair more times than you'd like to admit. So why did you want to feel pretty tonight? You'd usually just throw on something comfortable and that'd be that. Tonight though you opted to do your makeup, hair, and even put on a dress. It was a black dress that flared at the end coming down about mid thigh, just a simple skater type dress but cute none the less. You paired it with some combat boots and a cute necklace you'd gotten as a gift from Jisung on your 1 year friendaversary. You gave yourself a once over in the mirror smiling and threw some PJs in your bag and headed out.

Jisung and Minho were waiting for you outside like always, and when you walked out they both looked at you with wide eyes and open mouths.

"What the actual hell??? You look HOT!" Jisung gawked. Gaining a loud smack on the arm from Minho.

"Must I remind you I'm right here??" Minho said crossing his arms and rolling his eyes.

Turning his attention to you now, "you do look good tonight, what's the special occasion?" he asked as if he didn't already know the answer.

"I don't know I just wanted to feel pretty I guess?" You said with a shrug.

"And doooo you feel pretty??" Jisung nudged you, wiggling his eyebrows.

You laughed, "I do". A firm nod sent his way.

"Great then let's go show everyone how it's done. We've got a showstopper tonight" Jisung joked dragging both you and Minho inside.

And just like all the times before, you left the karaoke bar and headed back to the dorm. Walking inside you noticed the 5 usual guys sitting around the coffee table already playing a card game. I.N looked up first and let out a loud gasp.

"Holy hell, warn somebody if your gonna show up looking like that y/n!" He said clutching his chest as if he were gonna have a heart attack looking at you.

You laughed almost snorting, "like what exactly, Innie?".

"Like you're about to take our souls right out of our chests" Said Felix falling into Hyunjin dramatically.

"Seriously Lix, I'm right here!" Hyunjin rolled his eyes throwing his arm around Felix. "You do look drop dead gorgeous tho! Finally took a page from my book of fashion, huh?"

Changbin hopped up and gave you a huge hug spinning you around, "You look stunning! To what do we owe the honor?" he jokingly bowed and you smacked his arm.

"Yall are ridiculous" you rolled your eyes smiling "I just felt like dressing up, it's been a while, and I wanted to feel pretty" you said with a shrug.

Seungmin smirked and just said "mhmm" cocking a brow at you. To which you gave him an annoyed glance before setting your bag down and sitting next to Changbin and I.N on the floor.

"So what are we playing tonight?" You asked looking around at the guys. Jisung and Minho took a seat on the other side of the table.

"Cards against humanity!" I.N said a little too happily.

"Oh? I didn't know you had a twisted since of humor Innie?" You quirked a brow smiling at him.

"Haha only sometimes. Hard not to be a little twisted living with these idiots" He said nodding his head at the guys sitting around the table.

"Yeah, we're the idiots here baby bread" Seungmin said pinching I.N's cheek fake cooing at him.

"Okay, okay be nice Min, jeez. This game is too perfect for you" You said rolling your eyes dramatically. Hyunjin joining in on the eye roll laughing and giving you a nod of appreciation.

"So who wants to read first then?" You say passing out white cards and splitting the black cards into two piles so everyone can reach them.

Just then Chan walked in, "I'll read first!" He said with his big cheesy smile.

"Oh, you decided to join us again? To what do we owe the honor?" You said giggling copying Changbins words from a few minutes ago.

"Just wanted to spend time with everyone. Is that so bad?" He replied.

"Not at all, I'm actually glad you decided to join us. Here come sit." You scooted over and patted the floor next to you with a smile on your face.

The rest of the guys shared a knowing glance with each other. Chan never told them he'd be there tonight, but they felt like he would be. He hadn't stopped asking them about their monthly nights with you. Hell, he hadn't shut up about you since the first time you both had lunch together. They just shrugged it off, smiling to themselves.

A few rounds around the table and you were ready for some food. So you got up to go get some snacks from the pantry telling the guys you'd be right back and to just continue playing. The second you got up to walk out Chan's heart had practically stopped beating. He blinked trying to shake himself out of it and looked at the guys who were all staring smugly at him. This time it was Minho who decided to meddle, giving Chan a nod towards the kitchen as if to silently communicate with the eldest.

"Need some help?"

This time you only slightly jumped back, careful not to drop the few snacks you'd grabbed.

"Jesus Chan, warn somebody! I'm gonna make you wear a bell around your neck if you keep sneaking up on me like that." You said with a smile and an eyeroll, setting the bags of chips down on the counter before heading back to the pantry to grab something sweet for contrast.

"A bell, really? Like a collar?" Chan chuckled raising a brow at you.

"If it'll keep you from trying to give me a heart attack every time I'm in the kitchen. Since you're here now though, can you grab the caramel?" You said while heading to the counter to place down the sweet snacks and now cutting up some apples.

Chan did as you asked, and a few moments later placed the caramel down on the counter near by the other snacks. He decided he'd try and help further and put the bags of chips you'd gotten into some bowls. You smiled in his direction thanking him.

"So what's the occasion? The guys seem to be shocked seeing you in a dress." He asked not so casually.

You shrugged, "Just wanted to feel pretty tonight I guess." With a slight blush on your cheeks and tip of your ears.

"Mhmm.. Well, you look absolutely gorgeous. But I'm sure you've heard that plenty tonight" Chan said with a little smirk and a small laugh.

"Haha, I guess, the guys wouldn't shut up when I walked in. Binnie literally picked me up and twirled me in his arms." You giggled trying to fight off the redness in your cheeks.

"Can't say I blame him." Chan muttered mostly to himself.

"Oh really? And why's that?" You asked.

Chan was a bit shocked you'd heard that. Trying to find a way to reply, "Uh, cause, you know, you look really good tonight and um.. just.." He trailed off praying you'd understand.

"Thank you, I'm glad you like it. If we're being honest here I maaayy have worn it hoping you'd be joining us tonight.." You looked down focusing on playing the snacks you'd put together for everyone. Trying to hide your embarrassment.

"Oh really?" Chan sounding a lot more confident and sure of himself now. "And why are you dressing up for me?" He asked quirking a brow at you.

"I guess you'll have to figure that part out." You said turning to take the food to the island. Only to be stopped by Chans hands landing on the counter caging you in your place.

He smiled his cheesy but cocky grin and looked at you with a fake puzzled look. He inched his face closer to yours and leaned to whisper in your ear "What? Do you like me or something or do you just like teasing me?". You gulped. Trying desperately to keep a neutral face you leaned in a bit more "Why can't it be both?" Then, it was your turn to smirk before moving his arm and setting the food on the island.

"Alright guys, foods on the counter if anyone's hungry" You called out from behind the island.

The 7 guys pushed and shoved their way to the island ready to devour the snacks.

"Think you made enough y/n?" Seungmin said already grabbing himself a cinnamoroll of the sweets board.

"There's 9 of us so probably not" You laughed, "I can always make more later if needed, or next time I can just come earlier and make everyone dinner so you all can stop acting so starved"

"I'll have you know that we ARE starved, Chan over here is always too busy to cook anymore, Minho is too up Jisungs ass to care if we eat, and Minnie and I aren't allowed anywhere near a stove or oven or waffle maker anymore" Felix said pouting, arms crossed.

"Well then it's settled, next time I'll make dinner. Speaking of Chan here..." You turned to look at the man, "what actually made you join us tonight? In the 3 years I've been having these sleepovers you've only joined maybe a handleful of times and now you've graced us all with two in a row? Did the guys force you? Blink if you need help." You giggled, mostly to yourself.

Chan chucked shaking his head, "No one forced me. Like i said before, i just wanted to spend time with everyone. Maybe i wanted to continueto get to know you better too." He grinned looking right at you.

Giving him your best shocked Pikachu face, you turned to him, "Well I'm glad you decided to spend time with us. I've enjoyed you being around more and I know they do too." You said motioning to the rest of the group who all nodded in unison.

Back in the livingroom you all played a few more rounds. Minho ended up getting the most black cards followed closely by I.N who only had 3 less than his older friend. You expected Minho to win anyways, he definitely had a darker sense of humor when he wasn't acting like a three year old on the world's biggest sugar rush. The guys slowly started heading to their rooms with Seungmin, I.N, and Changbin being the first to head to bed. They waved saying variants of goodnight to you and the guys. Changbin having to add once again how "gorgeous" you looked before walking out of the room. You just chuckled to yourself waving back as they walked away.

Turning to the remaining guys you asked, "so are yall heading up or do you want to turn on a movie?"

Hyunjin smirked folding his arms, "You can just ask for a cuddle buddy y/n. You have never once made it through a movie and you always fall asleep on one of us by the end of it."

"Hyunjin, have you considered maybe I just don't sleep and a movie somehow let's me relax enough to finally get some sleep? Otherwise I'd be up all night clawing at your doors just to scare you all" You laughed out loud at yourself.

"And here I thought I was the dramatic one. No need to go around causing nightmares y/n" He laughed. "I'm personally ready for bed and I am taking Lix with me". Felix faked a pout at this even though he was smiling widely. "Goodnight guys, goodnight y/n" Felix called out being dragged up the stairs by Hyunjin.

"Anyone else heading to bed or is it movie time?" You said now only standing with your besties and Chan.

"Well I'm usually up all night anyways, so I could go for a movie." Chan said with a smile on his face.

"Well we are going to head to bed, I'm exhausted from having to play bodyguard at the karaoke bar earlier" Jisung said nudging you giggling.

"Oh please, Minho was the one basically smacking anyone that tried talking to me. How am I ever supposed to find a man if yall make it your personal mission to smack around anyone who tries to so much as say hi?" You said crossing your arms facing the two of them.

What you didn't notice was Chan's face when you mentioned finding a man. Maybe he could be man? Well, as if he wasn't trying before, He definitely is now.

"Well excuse us if we don't approve of you "finding" some weirdo from the karaoke bar" Minho said rolling his eyes. "You deserve better than that y/n, we just care." You missed the little look he shot Chan. Silently asking Chan if he liked you and the look Chan gave back saying yes.

"And on that unexpected sappy note babe, let's go to bed. Goodnight you two, don't stay up too late" Jisung called over his shoulder holding Minhos hand and heading to bed.

"Well, I guess it's just us then. I'm gonna go put on my pjs, mind picking a movie?" You asked Chan, smiling warmly as you grabbed you bag and headed to the bathroom.

Walking out of the bathroom now comfortable, you made your way over to the couch. Chan was already sitting and scrolling on his phone while he waited for you.

"So, uh, it's not a movie but I figured we could binge watch a few episodes of Dragon Ball Z if you're up for it?" He said looking a bit nervous.

You giggled nodding quickly, "Hell yeah I love Dragon Ball!".

About 3 episodes in you started getting tired. Moving around trying to make yourself comfortable without just fully laying down.

"You getting tired again?" Chan asked.

"No, I'm fine, just uncomfortable." You said deciding to just deal with neck pain you'd probably end up having tomorrow.

"You know, if you wanted you could take my room and I'll sleep down here? I'm kind of shocked the guys have had you sleeping on the couch this whole time" He rubbed the back of his neck.

"No, absolutely not. It's your room and you of all people should be sleeping comfortably. And they've offered to let me sleep in their beds but I couldn't take their spaces from them." You replied.

"Well, apparently you desperately need sleep too. Besides, I'm not taking no for an answer." He shrugged.

"Well you're going to have to because I'll be sleeping here on the couch Channie" You nodded once.

After another episode had passed you were asleep. You felt someone pick you up and start to carry you. Peaking through your lashes, barely conscious you saw Chan smiling down at you, before opening the door to his room carefully. He placed you in his bed and pulled the covers up before turning to walk out the room.

"Chan.." You said groggily.

"Hmm?"

"I can't take your bed from you, I'll feel awful" You whined barely able to keep your eyes open. "Please just stay with me"

He looked at you both amused but with caution. "Are you sure? I just want you to be comfortable".

You pulled him over and softly patted the bed next to you. Nodding faintly, "I'm sure. I could use a cuddle anyways. I slept really well last time".

"Only if you're comfortable with it."

"I am. Now come here." You reached up at him with grabby hands and puppy dog eyes.

He laughed softly, "Okay, okay. No need to pout. Scoot over."

He climbed into his bed and you scooted back to cuddle him, head on his chest and your arm across his stomach.

"Mmm.. this is nice." You mumbled into his chest before you fell asleep. He laid there smiling resting his head on yours. 'Yeah, this is nice.' He thought before falling asleep himself.

Everyone besides you an Chan had eaten breakfast together, and were now lounging around in various areas of the main floor. I.N was sitting at the kitchen island scrolling on his phone. Changbin was on the couch annoying Hyunjin who was sat on the chair sketching a panda. Felix and Seungmin were sitting on the floor against the couch playing Mario cart and arguing over who would win.

Jisung and Minho walked into the livingroom from cleaning up the breakfast mess. "Anyone seen y/n or Chan this morning? Her bag is still here, so I don't think she left." Jisung asked the group. They all shook their heads, some shrugging their shoulders. Jisung and Minho shared a somewhat hopeful glance.

Waking up this morning you felt a sense of peace and comfort. Something you (and Chan) haven't felt in a very long time. Rolling over to face him, he started waking up. With a sleepy smile on his face he pulled you in closer. "Mmm. Good morning cutie" He said groggily, his morning voice being more raspy than normal.

You giggled in his arms, "Good morning Channie." You said before pulling back a little to look at him. "Thank you for letting me sleep in your bed, and for the cuddles. It was definitely a lot nicer than the couch. Plus, you make a great body pillow." You joked.

"Of course, i couldnt just let you sleep on the couch knowing I had a perfectly good bed you could use. The cuddles were just a major plus. Speaking of which, body pillow huh? Didn't know they could hug you back. I think I'm a bit better than a pillow." He joked secretly hoping you'd agree.

"You're right. Body pillows are waayyyy more comfy." You joked back before adding, "I'm just kidding, you're definitely better than a body pillow. Way more warm too"

He smiled pulling you into him one more time before saying, "We should probably get up now. I'm sure the guys are having a field day coming up with why we are both missing".

"Eh, let them. I don't mind. It's not like Jisung and Minho aren't already rooting for us to happen. Not to mention the 3 that had us sleeping on the couch together last time." You said cuddling into his chest one more time before finally pulling away to get up.

"Touche. Well, they aren't the only ones." Chan said nervously.

You turned to look at him blushing more than you'd like with a big grin on your face, "Chan, you're rooting for us?"

"Well yeah, I like you y/n.. I understand if you don't like me like that though. I'm happy to just be friends if that's what you prefer." His voice barely over a whisper, his nerves taking over.

You walked over yo him cupping his face in your hands. "I like you too Chan, I honestly surprised you couldn't tell by now."

"I didn't want to assume"

You laughed, "I thought I made it pretty obvious wearing a dress, trying to subtly flirt, making sure you sat by me." You started to list off before leaning in for a kiss. It started out slow, a gentle peck, before turning into something only slightly more passionate. You pulled away smiling, "Hopefully that was obvious enough." You said giggling before going in for one more quick peck.

A few minutes later, you and Chan head downstairs into the livingroom.

"Ooo where'd ya'll go last night??" Jisung asked wiggling his brows and giggling.

You shoved his arm, "Chan let me take his bed and I asked him to stay since it was his room. And before you ask, no. Nothing happened." You said firmly glaring at your friend.

"Geez, I wasn't gonna say anything.." Jisung said with his hands up feigning innocence.

"Sure you weren't Ji. Just like I'm not gonna kick your ass for trying to trap Chan and I together every chance you get" You raised your hand as if you were gonna hit him jokingly. "And as for the rest of you.." shooting glares around the room, "don't think we don't know what you all were trying to do. Chan and I will be the ones to decide when and if there's something there." You looked at Chan nudging him softly. The guys however, missed it.

They all looked down guiltily. "Sorry.. we just want you both to be happy. We'll stop trying to make things happen, it's not our place. Please don't be upset with us." Felix pleaded looking like a hurt puppy.

"I'm not upset with any of you. I couldn't be even if I tried. Just let things happen when they happen." You said smiling softly at the group.

"You're right, we're sorry y/n. Speaking of which have you found a place to move when your lease is up? You could always stay here until you find somewhere if needed." Jisung offered with a soft smile.

"I have a few places I've looked at but nothing really promising. And thank you Ji, but I think I'll pass on sleeping the couch longer than a night at a time" You replied.

"You could always sleep with me." Chan shrugged laughing a little too hard. You hit his shoulder glaring daggers at him.

Jisung and a few others shot you a look before sitting down next to Felix to join in on Mario Kart.

"Well as much as I love hanging out guys, I got places to look at before going back to work tomorrow. I'll see you all next month" You said grabbing your bag, making sure everything was in it.

They all said their goodbyes to you barely even looking up. You smiled to yourself at how much like family they all felt to you now. Standing up to leave you looked at Chan giving him a warm smile and waving goodbye. He waved back a you went on your way.

Chan sat down in the living room looking at the guys, "So I know Jisung won't mind, but what do the rest of you think about y/n moving in?"

"Just means more movie nights, I'm down." Felix said.

"She's already family at this point of course we won't mind." Minho said matter of factly.

"More time with y/n? Sign me up! Maybe she can whip Jisung and Felix into acting like normal humans instead of fussy toddlers." Changbin said smacking Jisung on the back laughing.

The rest of the guys all agreed. Chan decided they would wait until next month to offer so you had time to find a place of your own first. He didn't want you to feel pressured because of the friend group.

You'd looked at 10 different apartment/dorms over the month and not one of them fit your budget or need to be within walking distance of your job. You were feeling extremely overwhelmed. Walking up to the stairs of your 11th apartment option, you reminded yourself that tonight you'd be able to just relax with the boys. You and Chan had texted every single day with him even trying to help you search for places. You still made time for your weekly lunches and even had a few extra lunches together. You were honestly falling pretty hard for him and couldn't wait to see him tonight and fall asleep in his arms again.

Back at your apartment you went through the box of clothes you'd packed up and dug out a cute black tank top and some sweatpants that had a flattering fit. You threw your hair up in a bun and headed outside to meet Jisung and Minho.

"Hey guys, I know we haven't missed karaoke once, but do you mind if we just head straight to the dorms tonight? I promised the guys last time I'd make dinner and I don't think I have it in me to do that and go all out singing like we normally would." You asked them with a small sigh.

"Yeah we don't mind. Are you okay? Did you find a place yet?" Jisung asked.

"No, I've see 11 places this month and honestly I'm about to give up. It's all just getting to me." You sighed again.

"Well let's just try to enjoy tonight then. Chan offered to help make dinner so you didn't have to do it alone" Jisung smiled at you.

"Did he? That's really sweet of him." You said smiling to yourself. A small blush creeping on your cheeks.

Jisung nodded, opting to not tease you this time.

Walking inside the dorm Hyunjin greeted you first, "I see you decided against gracing us all with a pretty dress this time" He joked, eyes shrinking from his smile.

"Eh, not really feeling it this time." You said back heading for the kitchen.

"Anyone have anything specific that'd like for dinner?" You called back.

Before you could even turn around to look at them they all started bickering about who would get to pick and why they should be the one who gets to pick.

"You fucked up, shouldn't have even asked them, now they'll be arguing for the next hour" Chan said from behind you in the kitchen laughing heartily.

You giggled letting out a small snort, "Yeah, I knew I shouldn't have said anything the second it left my mouth".

"Alright you guys chill, y/n and I will be making whatever we feel like so get over it" Chan yelled to the guys.

They all settled down, pouting to themselves and started back at doing their own things while they waited.

"Jisung told me you offered to help me cook. Thank you" You smiled at Chan warmly.

"It's the least I could do. There's a lot of us it's definitely not a one person job" He said smiling to himself.

"Can't argue there, but you also didn't have to."

"Well I wanted to." He replied wrapping his arms around your waist. "Plus it gives us some extra time together." He kissed your cheek before heading to get dinner started.

"Felix, I.N, could yall please set the table? Dinner will be ready in 10" You called out to the living room. The boys hopped up immediately smiling at you and grabbing dishes and silverware heading to the dinning room.

You and Chan took the food to the table and let everyone know dinner was ready. Chan pulled out a chair for you to his right and you sat down smiling at him in thanks. He nodded before sitting himself at the head of the table. To your left sat Jisung and Minho. Changbin and Seungmin were at the end of the table opposite of Chan. Across from you was Hyunjin, with Felix next to him and then I.N on the end by Chanbin. You all started digging in, everyone chatting amongst themselves. I.N looked at you and Chan feeling playful, "Thanks mom, thanks dad, dinner is amazing!" He said laughing loudly. And the rest of the guys joined in laughing too. "Our parents are great cooks" Felix added.

"Will you guys stop!" You said shooting them a glare, blush finding it's way to your cheeks.

Thank god you didn't look at Chan who was also blushing profusely shooting warning glares at the two boys.

After dinner the guys brought in the dishes to the kitchen. You and Chan cleaned the dishes, now cleaning the rest of the kitchen and dining room from the aftermath of a small food fight the youngests had started during dinner.

Chan looked at you, "So I know said you still haven't found anywhere to stay. You know you're always welcome here" He offered with a slight nudge of the elbow.

"Haha you just want an extra cook. But it's okay, I don't want to cause any issues for anyone. I'll be okay." You smiled kindly back at him.

"Its not an issue for any of us. We kind of already all talked about it and Changbin and I.N offered to bunk together so you could have your own room if you wanted. No couch." He said kind of chuckling.

"As sweet as that is, I'm not taking one of their rooms. That's not fair to them. I really do appreciate the offer though." You smiled again, a bit sad this time. 'What are my other options though I have to be out by Friday' you thought to yourself.

"You could um.." Chan trailed off not wanting to scare you away.

"I could umm, what?" You questioned.

"You could stay in my room if you wanted.." He said running his fingers through his hair giggling nervously.

"Chan, I'm not taking your room from you either." You said firmly.

"Uh, I meant like.. um.. like room with me?" He was looking down at the table now. He'd been scrubbing the same spot since bringing up you staying with them.

"Oh.. uh, are you sure? I know weve been seeing each other but.. " You trailed off unsure of how to say the rest of what you wanted to say.

"Buuutt?? What?" He questioned waiting for you to finish.

"We haven't really, like, ya know.. made anything official." You said staring down at the table.

"Well I'm officially asking you to room with me, and if you'd let me be so honored, I'd like if we were, ya know, official?" Chan blurted out with a mixture of eagerness and nervousness.

"Are you sure?" You asked almost shocked. You knew how you both felt about each other, yet, somehow it still felt unreal.

"Yes I'm sure y/n! Will you please let me make your mine already? Moving in or not, I want to be able to call you mine" He pleaded.

"Yes. Yes to both." You smiled and pulled him in for a kiss.

"Thank you, for being mine." He said softly, head nuzzled into your neck.

"I couldnt imagine being anyone else's" You smiled back, kissing him one more time before pulling away to look at him. "We should um, probably tell the guys I'm staying then. I'm gonna need some help getting the stuff out of my apartment" You giggled pulling him for a big hug in one more time before pulling apart completely.

You both finished cleaning quickly before walking into the livingroom together. Chan did a quick head count to make sure everyone was there.

"Okay guys, I spoke with y/n about her staying with us and she decided she'd stay, so we will need some help with week moving her stuff in if you all don't mind" Chan said to the room.

Jisung jumped up "YESSSS!! I knew you couldn't stay away from me" He chuckled. "How's movie night gonna work now tho?"

"Same as always maybe more often now tho" You winked playfully at him.

Changbin was the next to stand up "so who's room are you taking?? Mine or I.N's? Might as well start clearing it out before we bring you stuff over. "

"Uh, about that. I didn't feel right taking either of your rooms from you.." You said smiling sheepishly.

"You're absolutely NOT sleeping on the couch" Felix said kind of sternly.

"You're right Felix. She's not. She.. uh, she decided to stay with me in my room." Chan said looking at the boys a bit nervously.

Jisungs jaw dropped, the rest of the room mirrored his expression, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

"Does this mean...??" Hyunjin asked hesitantly.

"Yes. We're officially together now. Not that you all didnt know we've been talking.." You said glancing quickly to Chan and then back to Hyunjin.

Chan nodded a little too quickly, smiling his big cheesy smile. "Yepp. Which means Changbin, keep your hands to yourself." Chan chuckled looking at Changbin and then down at you, pulling you close into his side with his arm around your waist. You blushed a little too much at that. Changbin put his hands up surrendering with a laugh.

The guys all cheered a bit too excitedly. Giving you and Chan both hugs and nods of waaayy too much approval. You giggled at them being so dramatic over you and Chan now dating, but it warmed your heart to know they all supported you.

Friday came fast and the guys had helped you move your things into the dorm. Felix and Changbin also helped you sell the things you weren't taking with you. Once you were all back at the dorms you sat down on the couch. Plopping yourself between Chan and I.N, your head falling back in exhaustion.

"Why don't you go take a nap in your new room" Seungmin said looking smugly.

"I think I will." You replied giving him the same look as you went to get up. "Oh btw, thank you guys for meddling. You did good for once" You joked looking at the three boys who started all of this. And with that you made your way to Chans.. Your new room before falling onto the bed. Chan walked in behind you and shut the door before falling on the bed next to you.

"Do you want me to help you unpack later?" He asked turning to prop himself up on his elbow facing you.

"If you don't mind" You smiled at him kindly.

"Of course I don't mind" He grinned kissing your forehead. "Now come get some sleep before we get to work." He pulled you into his chest and you smiled, quickly falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. A sound you had really come to love.

#skz fic #skz bang chan #bang chan #chan x reader #skz fluff #bang chan fluff #skz stay

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michellemisfit · 7 months ago

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Weekly Tag Wednesday Thursday

Thanks for the game @jrooc and thanks for the tag @blue-disco-lights @deedala @energievie @lingy910y @creepkinginc @crestfallercanyon

Name: Mys

What is the most listened to artist in your music app of choice this month?

The Libertines - They’ve just released a new album

What song do you know all the lyrics to?

Erm… most? Well, at least most songs I regularly listen to. Back in the day when we’d still buy CDs I would get a new album and sit in my bedroom listening to it beginning to end, while reading along to the lyrics in the booklet. And oooooh, I would get so furious when bands had a booklet that did not include song lyrics. Wtf is wrong with you?? SO ANGRY! haha

What song do you pretend to know all the lyrics to and sing along to even though you don't?

It’s the End of the World As We Know It by R.E.M. I get to ‘eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn’ and then I’m lost until we hit the chorus lol But it’s such a fun song to pretend to sing along to, and really just making vaguely appropriate noises at the right time, until the chorus kicks in again… and of course we’re all ready to shout LEONARD BERNSTEIN! Hahaha

If you were to be crowned Queen/King/Royalty of listening to a band or artist, who would that be?

That would have to be Dirty Pretty Things. I fell in love with The Libertines just as they were falling apart and a few weeks away from calling it quits for good, so when Carl Barât announced the first tour of his new band Dirty Pretty Things I wasn’t gonna miss out again. So I flew to Ireland and then to England and attended the first 5 gigs of their first tour. And that pretty much set the tone for the next couple of years of my life. I ended up flying to the UK so much and meeting so many people that in the end it only made sense to move to London. Dirty Pretty Things had a tour booked starting two days after my moving day and we were gonna go to a few of the gigs. Then the day before I got on a plane they announced it would be their farewell tour, so we bought tickets for every single gig, which meant that I moved to the UK and then spent all of October, November, and half of December on tour… I didn’t start job hunting and thinking about real life until January lol

So yeah. Them. They’re my boys. As coined by the NME in their ‘sad to see them go’ article… “They were well fit and nice!”

What band/artist surprises you the most on your frequently listened to artists?

I’m ongoingly surprised by how much I managed to trick myself into liking Taylor Swift

Favourite line from a song (or one you have been thinking about lately?

Fame and Fortune by The Libertines

The deal was done, the trade was rough, Doubloons down for a double bluff, Dip your quill in your bleeding heart, Sign there and there and there

Guilty pleasure band or song?

I don’t believe in guilty pleasures.

Liking what I like don’t make me a bitch.

Okay let's talk fandom music:

Fave band or song you've discovered from a Fan Fic?

The Libertines lol My friend really wanted me to get into this band she liked, and I just wasn’t massively into music at the time, so she sent me a Libertines fanfic, and that, as they say, was that. Oh, she knew me very well… hahah

Fave Fanfic Playlist?

Right now I’m REALLY into The Menagerie playlist!

Fave Gallavich song?

Do you listen to music recommended by the writer or an included playlist?

Almost always, yeah. Though sometimes that can go terribly wrong. When someone’s like OMG THIS SONG!!! and you’re just like ‘eh, I don’t see it’ lol

What song do you think is Gallavich coded?

Well, thanks to @deedala this will never not be Season 5 Gallavich

What’s a bop you want to share with your mutuals today?

Love the original, but I also love Darren Criss

And this, because I’m dying for the next season of The Bear!!!!

Oooookay… I’m late and I’ve been way too busy, so if you’ve already played and I didn’t see please tag me in yours so I can check it out!! If not, and you’d like to do it, I’m tagging @heymacy @heymrspatel @darlingian @too-schoolforcool @palepinkgoat @vintagelacerosette @crossmydna @captainjowl @mikhailoisbaby @rereadanon @the-rat-wins @tsuga-of-mars @loftec @sickness-health-all-that-shit @deathclassic @rutherinahobbit @faejilly (you can skip the Gallavich questions!!! Hahahahah)

#weekly tag wednesday #tag game #Spotify #Mys stuff #music #why are my tag games always 4 times as long as anyone else’s???#I’m so sorry for everyone who bothers to read all the words 🤦🤦

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writingsfromhome · 2 years ago

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The Ex-Text

Epilogue: what’s next

A/N: this isn’t so much an epilogue than a part two but it just fit better to call it one lol. But it’s the final instalment in the Ex-Text so make sure you read the first two. As always, ty for reading this far <3

Prologue (text) / Main (ex) / Epilogue (what’s next)

—————————

It was a bit of a wet morning but I was determined to have a good day. And it’s like the world listened because by the time I got my morning coffee the sun had decided to kiss my skin hello. It was a Friday, I had a weekend of bachelorette festivities—our last girls weekend before Taz officially married next weekend. And I was going to a job I loved after changing roles last year, and getting promoted to the position I’d been chasing after.

It had been a year and 7 months since the night I decided to change. It wasn’t linear by any means but I had a better sense of who I was and what I wanted nowadays. I stuck up for myself, and felt less end-of-the-world if someone didn’t like me. I wasn’t perfect all the time, but things were better.

I’m so excited for tomorrow, I read Taz’s text in the lift up. I’d set up a spa day for the bridesmaids, and then a potentially rowdy evening across a few bars with a scavenger hunt. As the maid of honour I took my duties very seriously. I was friends with most of the invitees either from childhood or through Taz—there were a handful of girls from high school that Taz and I were friends with who I hadn’t seen in a while. It was going to be an interesting weekend.

***

“So YN,” Taz’s cousin slides in beside me wiggling her phone. This was our second pub on the list and she had the lead for the scavenger hunt by two. The group had enough drinks that everyone was loud and comfortable even though not everyone knew each other well. “How far along are you?”

“I’m not playing,” I made the game. I tell her that.

“Oh c’mon!” She looks at the girls sitting near us. “You’re just trying to get out of some of these! Like kiss a stranger, or find a way to write your number on someone’s arm? You’re cheeky with these—find someone to do a musical number with—“

“That’s how I know I’m not winning the hunt,” Felicity says. “I’m shite at dancing.”

“No you was so good back in school,” Taz giggles as she catches up. “Dots was even better, remember when she went with that wanker to the year 11 dance and oh what was his name-“

“I heard my name,” Dots pokes her head through. “You lot are loud.”

“Have you heard them?” Taz’s cousin points to the other end of the table. Someone’s getting a shot poured directly into their mouth.

“Taz are you participating in the hunt?” Felicity waves her phone that has the app pulled up.

“I’m getting married in a week so…only the PG ones.”

“No one’s going to say anything if you do number 7,” Dots winks. I smile uncomfortably, remembering the grip the peer pressure these girls had in high school that lead me to some pretty bad decisions.

“Taz is too much of an angel to do anything like that,” I try to swoop in for her.

“Then you should do it for her.” Dots says, her eyes alight with mischief. “Since you’re not playing. That way the bride-to-be has a chance to win.”

“Yeah!” Felicity jumps right into the plan eagerly. “It’s not like you’re dating someone right?”

“I…”

“I don’t need to win that bad,” Taz tries to come to my rescue but the plan is too enticing for these girls.

“Oh yeah YN you never got back on the horse after…Ethan?” Taz’s cousin mouths the word like he was going to appear if she said it too loud.

“No it’s…” I’m tempted to lie. To look good. Everyone leans in to hear the end of my sentence and I blurt out. “It’s complicated.”

“Ooh what’s that mean?” They move in closer and I feel crushed. I avoid Taz’s eye, she knew I hadn’t dated in forever. Not for lack of wanting, but I found opening myself up to new people was more exhausting than it used to be. Being in one long term relationship after the other, then taking a huge break, now dating felt like learning to walk again.

“Um,” I try to backtrack on the lie. “It’s just complicated but technically I’m not dating someone right now!”

“Wait so you’re not bringing a plus one to the wedding?” Someone asks.

“Well I-“

“You should invite the guy! If he comes you know he’s serious and if he doesn’t…”

“Yeah!” Felicity grabs my arm. “Invite him! I want to see Ethan’s rebound that manwhore.”

“It’s not really a rebound when it’s been years,” Taz says. I agree, but I’m also touched by the vehemence in Fel’s voice when she talks about Ethan.

“Well screw the guy. If he’s complicated, you can kiss anyone you want at any bar you want. So?”

“YN,” Taz’s murmur catches my attention. She shoots me a warning, I had to put my foot down. Not give in because I wanted to please. I should but with this many eyes on me I chicken out.

“Fine. But maybe pick number 7 at the next bar, this group looks uni aged.” I feel Taz’s disappointment beside me.

“So? I had a thing with a 21 year old last summer,” Fels shrugs.

“Ew. Didn’t you feel like his mother?” Taz asks and I laugh, a bit of the pent up energy releasing with it.

“No, he was a big boy. He knew how to take care of himself.” She grins. The topic shifts to her and I think I’m forgotten until the hour hits and we decide to move places.

“Okay YN I know you’ve mapped this all out but if we’re trying to get you a good number 7 I know a better place where I used to live. Last summer actually.” Felicity links her arm through mine as we walk out.

“We know how well that went,” Taz’s cousin teases.

“Exactly! May I? Girls! Change of location on the third cuz Taz has to win tonight-“

“I really don’t want the gift card that badly.” Taz says but it’s drowned out by everyone cheering. God we were all well on our way to drunk.

***

“That one,” someone whispers to me. She points to a tall blonde with a cardigan on.

“Mmm too bookish,” someone else says. Somehow the whole group was debriefed on the way over that I was to have the most epic kiss with a stranger for Taz’s sake. Because even though she had three other missing items on her list, doing this would make her win.

“Well that creep over there just bought me shots,” Taz slurs. We look to where she points, it’s a guy who had been a potential kisser. The group crosses him out as well as the line item on her list. Now she was down to 2 to win.

Felicity had led us to her old local area, one I hadn’t spent much time in but sounded familiar. Even though I’d planned the pub crawl to the detail I had to let go of the control and go with the crowd.

“Okay YN you have to do this now,” Dot says. “You can kill two birds, then Taz is free to win.”

“Doesn’t anyone else want to win?” I ask pathetically.

“No!” The group encourages me. “You need this too YN!”

“Him,” Fels points to a guy sitting at the bar. He’s talking with the bartender who’s laughing at whatever he’s saying. “Look, he’s funny and nice enough to talk to the bartender. He’ll give you a nice smooch.” She kisses my cheek with this statement.

“Oh he’s cute,” Taz says and I glare at her.

“You can’t even see his face.” I tell her.

“Yeah but his hair is nice,” she rubs my cheek where Felicity kissed me. “And his shirt stretches nicely over-“

“Okay bride-to-be,” she was such a traitor.

“What? A girl can’t look?” Taz asks. She wraps an arm around my shoulder and leans in. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I know,” but with all these girls waiting on me to I didn’t have another choice. I just had to get over it. Plus I hadn’t kissed someone in over a year so I wasn’t complaining if he was cute. And Taz was right, from the back he was cute. “Fine.”

I step away from the crowd and they all gasp. They get ready for the show and so do I. I clear my throat, push my shoulders back—my cleavage looked great in this dress so I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt, and head over. My stomach drops with nerves but I take a deep breath and tap the bloke on the shoulder.

My lungs deflate like a released balloon when the face looking back at me is Harry. Harry the ex-texter.

He blinks, then blinks some more. Meanwhile I stand there staring.

“YN!?” Harry turns the barstool to face me. His neck must’ve started cramping.

“I-uh,” I glance back at the girls and they’re all pretending not to stare but it’s a bad attempt. They’re staring.

“It’s you-I-“ Harry stands up, it seems like he was going in for a hug but he thinks better of it almost immediately. “What are you doing here?”

“Hi,” I say lamely. I feel the shame of the last time we spoke. That YN feels like someone else. Someone people manipulated easily. Like him.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” he laughs nervously and his eyes roam up and down my body. He runs his fingers through his hair and looks back. “I think there’s a massive group of women there staring at us? Have you rounded up a gang to kick my-“

“Ignore them,” I quickly take a seat beside where he was sitting. He takes one last glance at them and sits back down.

“Can I get you a drink?”

“No no,” my mind is occupied. I couldn’t kiss him. This was the worst person in the world to have picked, why was he here damnit?

Then I remember why this area was familiar to me. His address was only a street or so over, this is close to where I’d picked him up that day.

“Actually, I’ll do a a vodka soda.”

He orders for me while I try to sort out my thoughts.

“So are you in a cult? Am I some sort of blood sacrifice?” Harry throws another glance over his shoulder.

I finally look at him. He looked good, of course he did. He’d decided to do something about those razor blades—he’d thrown them out; he sports a mustache and stubble. His hair is styled, nicer than it was when I met him. His eyes are murky waters and I don’t look at them too long. I spot the gym bag by his feet, so that’s why his shirt fit so well…

Omg.

“Actually,” I consider what he’d just said. “You’re not too far off.”

“Wait really?” His eyes bug out. “You’re joking.”

“Well the cult is actually a bridal party,” I say. “And the blood sacrifice is a number on our scavenger hunt.”

“Oh,” it dawns on him. “I’m fresh blood. You already have my number, wait is that why you came up to me?”

“No I actually didn’t even know it was you,” I say honestly. “They picked you out from the crowd.”

“Really?” Harry looks back, now intrigued that this group of women found him fit enough to pick out.

“Don’t let it get to your head,” I roll my eyes. My drink had landed in front of me so I take a sip.

“Well? You have my number right?” When I just nod he laughs. “Wait. You need something more.”

“Well obviously I’m going to lose this scavenger hunt,” I scowl. “Don’t worry.”

He chuckles and looks to the front, meanwhile I try not to squirm. Being around him wasn’t the best feeling, especially on my way to drunk. I felt hot with embarrassment and yet the intrigue of who he really was still stayed with me. And it stays because even now, despite not trusting him or liking him very much I felt like I had room to just be myself. He was an easy presence despite his baggage. Or maybe because of it.

It seems we were good at silences because we drink without saying a word. It’s like our brains are catching up to our sudden run-in.

“How have you been?” Harry asks quietly.

Fine, I’m going to say automatically. But I answer truthfully. “Alright. Life’s been better but also nobody’s tricked me into going to a cheating ex’s wedding so life’s been a lot worse!”

He laughs awkwardly and clinks his bottle against my glass. “Yeah. I deserve that.”

“Yeah. How about you?”

“Better. A lot better.”

“Good to hear,” I say genuinely. Despite my grievances it was nice to hear he was past whatever he’d been in when we first met.

“I think about you often,” he says while still looking forward. Oh god this felt like being in a car with him. I turn my body towards him and tap my knee against his. He looks at me, like we’re having an actual conversation. “I do. About what I did to you…I’m sorry.”

“Yeah you’ve said.”

“Yeah,” he grimaces. I wasn’t going to let him off the hook so easily. Being manipulated and lied to like that still stung. It was rock bottom for me in a way. “I was a dick. I’m deeply sorry and I’ve thought about how to make it up to you but I thought I should just stop texting you ever. Trust me that was rock bottom for me and you didn’t deserve to be dragged down with me.”

I try not to look surprised when he says it was his rock bottom, like I was thinking seconds earlier.

“You got one thing right,” I tap at his phone. I wasn’t going to tell him I forgave him, or that I understood even though I did. I didn’t like him very much, I didn’t trust him, but I knew he was sorry when he said it.

I remember the wedding—there was something I wanted to apologize for, “Well now that we’re unloading apologies, I am actually sorry for uhm, slapping you that night? That’s not me. And I don’t know where it came from! I feel bad about that.”

His laugh is quiet, to himself. “You shouldn’t be apologizing for anything. Anything at all YN.”

God, the way he says my name is addictive. He said it like everyone else, but in his voice…

“I know. But that crossed a line…”

“Nah don’t worry. Plus I don’t mind when a woman slaps me around a little,” his face splits into a grin when I give him the reaction he was looking for.

“Harry,” I scold. “You’re teaching children with that mouth?”

“That’s why I’m quitting.”

“You’re quitting!?”

“Yep. Phase 3 of my plan, to live the life I want. I’m finishing the school year and looking for a job in my field over the summer.”

“Wow,” I was impressed. “Wow Harry. Good luck with that.”

“Yeah I’ll need it thanks.” The way he looks at me makes me nervous. I think I’ve been single a bit too long. And right on cue he asks: “So YN how about you? Are you still doing your single thing?”

“I feel like you’re still talking about it like you don’t believe in it,” I tell myself to calm down every time he says my name.

“No I-“ he plays with his bottle. “I believe you. I’ve tried it, it’s been good for me. But I started dating again this year and I found I really love that too.”

“Yeah?” I ask him more about it. He tells me he’s dating knowing what he wants now. What kind of woman he’s looking for.

I felt like focusing on myself has helped me with that too. The only issue is I was finding it hard to open myself up to men again.

“I haven’t been dating much,” at all. “But I’m open to it now.”

“Show anyone your mean side lately?” He jokes but in there is a serious question.

“That’s only reserved for you,” I say, then realize how flirty it sounds and clamp down on my tongue. Maybe I should stop drinking. I didn’t even know Harry very well. But when I peek a glance he looks flushed.

I liked this version of Harry better. I wonder if he was like this before, before he had his heart broken, or even before he started dating Vanessa. But I don’t tell him that, I didn’t want him to think we were friends or anything.

We fall into silence again, not an uncomfortable one though. I look at him, he looked the same but different. Like a change had taken place underneath the surface. I imagine he’s studying me the same way. He smiles and I return it.

A body pushing into the side of me interrupts us. Dots is there with Taz and they wave the bartender down for a drink even though they could’ve ordered from the table. I roll my eyes and turn to them.

“Hi,” I look between them. Dots looks mischievous as usual and Taz seems curious.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us YN?” Dots asks.

“Oh, this is Harry,” I eye Taz when I say it. She’s a bit slow but when I introduce them to Harry it dawns on her. Her face darkens as she pinpoints who he is.

“Harry is it?” Taz asks. “I’ve never met a Harry I liked.”

Dots looks over at her like she’s grown another head, clued out and assuming I was still here to kiss him.

“Oh well…” Harry looks just as confused at her sudden intensity. “I hope I can change your mind about that?”

“Too late for that,” she nearly spits out. I watch his eyes widen and then go to me. I’m biting back a smile.

“Taz, right you’re Taz.” He sounds like he remembers her.

“And I’m Dots,” Dots repeats. Poor girl was clueless. “We’re just doing a bachelorette thing and YN seemed to think you were cute enough to ditch us right?”

“Really?” Harry takes pleasure in playing along.

“Well no I—ow!” Dots interrupts me by smashing her elbow into me. I sigh. “Right. Yeah. You were irresistible, I had to ditch my friends for a man like you.”

“Sarcasm,” Harry says just low enough for me to hear. He’s smiling.

“YN you should come back,” Taz tries to grab my arm but Dots is like a pro as she cuts that off.

“No we’re just doing the same thing back there. Talking and drinking. You two enjoy. You should give him your number here.” She drops a sharpie in my hand. “Let’s go Taz.”

I try to warn Taz with my expression, please don’t tell anyone I know him. None of these girls knew I went to Ethan’s wedding, it was an embarrassing story on my timeline I didn’t need to share. I didn’t want them to know the story of how I knew Harry.

“Your friends are scary.”

“I guess,” I turn back to him. My drink was nearly empty and I did think it was time to go back. “I should go back to them.”

“Oh,” he looks disappointed.

“What?”

“I thought we were having a nice time.”

“Yeah well we were catching up. And now my drink’s finished and I’m-“

“I can buy you another?”

“I think I’ve had enough. This is our third place on our night crawl so…”

“Fair.” Harry looks at me like he has something to say. I stand there and wait but in the end he just sighs and sits back down.

“Oh yeah I’m going to write my number,” I grab his arm and pull his sleeve up. Holy muscles. “on your arm. If that’s alright?”

“Sure,” he smiles and his dimples make an appearance. It’s boyish, like we’re teenagers exchanging numbers.

I write it down even though he had it, cap the marker, and look up. We’re so close; his eyes flit to my mouth and away so quickly I almost miss it.

“I’ll get this tattooed,” Harry jokes.

“I’ll change my number if you do,” I warn him. He just shrugs like he didn’t believe me and I shake my head, turning back to my friends.

I get back to a group of disappointed women. They give me a hard time and tell me how upset they are that I don’t care about Taz winning. They try to tell me how good we looked together, how I looked with him.

“We’re not leaving until you kiss him,” Felicity says.

“Leave her alone! He smelled like bad news,” Taz says. She was well past drunk now so no one listens to her.

“Ethan was bad news,” Fels states. “This guy is just a random man you can kiss and invite as a plus one. Have some fun with him. Get back into the pool where all the fish are. C’mon YN we know your dating life is shite!”

“Remind me to never get drunk with you lot,” I stare at them. They were scary. “I gave him my number, at least Taz can cross that out!”

“Wait! Harry!” Everyone begins to shout his name as they spot him leaving behind me.

I catch him turning with a wary expression. He points to himself. The girls shout “Yes!” and earn some dirty looks from the other patrons.

He walks up to our table like a sacrifice to an ancient ritual. “You ladies need something?”

“Yes,” a few voices say but Felicity is the loudest. She points to Taz who has her head down on the table. I should check on her.

“See this beautiful creature here? She’s getting married! Married! And we have a scavenger hunt. And she can almost win! But she needs to kiss someone at the bar. But she’s getting married! And you look decent enough to help this bride-to-be! So YN her wonderful friend is helping out. And she chickened out up there. So she wants to kiss you. Does she have your permission?”

“Does she?” He turns to me. God I was helpless with the pressure around me. My eyes lock onto Harry and I hope he can read the help etched into them.

“This is silly,” I tell him. “We don’t need to do this. I don’t think Taz even cares.”

“I don’t!” I guess she was conscious because she lifts her head to answer me. But everyone crowds her out, her cousin actually guides her head back down.

“You owe her a kiss,” Dots says proudly.

“I owe her a lot actually,” Harry says to me. My heart races as we look at each other.

I would be lying if I said the idea of kissing him doesn’t intrigue me. He was attractive! And his facial hair made him more so. But I didn’t want to complicate anything.

What’s there to complicate? I ask myself. It’s not like he’s in your life. Plus maybe this will be the push to start dating again. Kisses are nice right?

“Okay whatever,” I take a step towards him. “It’s not like this means anything. It’s just a kiss.”

A cheer goes up with the group.

Harry drops his bag to the floor and takes the other step to me. “It doesn’t mean anything?”

“No,” I say more to myself. “It’s just a kiss with a guy.”

“Just a kiss with a guy,” Harry repeats. “If you say so.”

His hand reaches up to my neck and he pulls me gently to him, with his height I crane my face up and his warm lips come down on mine exactly how I imagined it would feel. That’s when I realize I had imagined how he would feel. But it’s too late by then.

It feels like hearing music live for the first time, I can suddenly hear every atom of the song. I can feel it, taste it, even smell the soundwaves pounding through the room. That’s what the kiss feels like. Ultrasonic and consuming as hell.

He’s gentle but I can tell he’s holding back with the way his hand grips the back of my head tight. And that sends my senses into overdrive. Even though his moustache is a bit tickly, he was a really good kisser.

When we part, I laugh because I’m nervous but also he has lipstick on his face.

“That was hot,” someone in the group says but we can’t take our eyes off of each other. I’m trying to remember how to breathe and it seems like Harry is doing the same.

“You have-“ I laugh nervously again and reach up to wipe the lipstick from the side of his mouth. This close his pupils are blown out and it only confirms to me that he was holding back. Because he looks like a man who can barely contain himself.

“Uhm,” he finally breaks his gaze to look at all the women staring. “I hope that was satisfactory enough.”

“That was movie worthy,” everyone begins shouting scores out. Some of then fan themselves with the menu. Harry clears his throat, picks up his bag, does an awkward half-bow, and stiffly nods to me.

“G’night YN.”

“Yeah…thanks.” I didn’t know what to say after having the most intense kiss of my life. To Harry. The ex-texter.

“I need some water after that,” Felicity climbs over me out of the booth and I slide in by Taz.

“I’m sorry,” she wraps her arms around my shoulder. “We have really shitty friends.”

“You have amazing friends,” Dots says. “We just broke YN’s dry spell. Did you see that? That was chemistry YN. That was wow. I hope you got his number.”

“I have it,” I sigh.

I decide I was going to drink more. I didn’t want to remember this night anymore.

***

It’s the Friday after and I’m at work, it’s a slow day so I’m scrolling through my phone when a notification pops up.

It was Harry.

Hi. I text back. I’d been thinking about him a lot this week, about the kiss, and about dating again. I wouldn’t admit it to my friends but it was a reminder that chemistry existed somewhere out there.

I don’t want our whole relationship to be wedding crashing so I want to run something past you.

???

Your friend Felicity invited me to Taz’s wedding. Tomorrow. She said you knew but you haven’t texted me all week so I think she’s setting you up?

I couldn’t believe it. I text Felicity and she responds immediately with a kissy emoji and a tongue sticking out.

I’m sorry I didn’t know, Fels just confirmed. You don’t need to come she’s just on this mission to get me a date.

She said you have a flaky boyfriend?

Oh my god the lie had spread. So embarassing, I was going to strangle Fels.

Really I’m alright. Sorry about that.

I would like to see you again. Even if it’s at a wedding. But I’ll only go if you invite me.

Wow. I read the message another time then put my phone away. What was I supposed to do?

I take my phone into the toilets and call Taz. She picks up, it sounds like she’s in a car.

“Hi you free?”

“Yeah I’m just getting back from the salon, what’s going on?”

I tell her. I tell her it all, the conversation Harry and I had and how I was feeling and what Felicity did.

“That one does not know how to keep her nose out of people’s businesses.”

“I know,” I groan. “I could not invite him and get a million questions from everyone who knows Fels invited him. And I keep him out of my life. Which is fine because I barely know him (even though that kiss felt like I’ve known him for all of eternity). But if I invite him, I’m telling him I’m okay with what he did to me. That we’re okay.”

“YN listen,” she sighs. She says something to someone on her end and I hear a car door close. “Look—sorry just getting in. You’re not that person anymore. I don’t trust him more than you do but just tell him that. So he knows you’re only taking him to get everyone to shut up. Like…use him as a date like he used you.”

“Hm,” that was a good point. “Yeah. That could actually work?”

“Really? I thought I was just saying shite,” Taz laughs. “Okay I really have to go my in-laws are here. Are you alright?”

“Yeah yeah you focus on your stuff. I’ll be by this evening.”

“Love you, bye!”

I call Harry immediately after. He doesn’t pick up so I go back to my desk and consider what to text him when he calls back.

“YN I was still in class sorry.”

“Oh god sorry I forgot!” I look at the time. “Sorry I just assumed you were free.”

“No it’s alright,” he answers. “Are you calling about tomorrow?”

“Yeah…” my mouth is suddenly parched. I get up and walk away from where people could hear me. “So, the thing is my friends are giving me a hard time because I don’t have a date and all that. So sort of the way you used me as a date at that wedding, I could use you at this one. Like if would be doing me a favour?” I cringe as the words come out.

“Oh. Sure…yeah if you want.” He sounds…offended?

“Like if we’re being honest we’ve not really spoken since that night. And I have no reason to trust you and whatever. So this is just…”

“Returning the favour.” He puts it simply.

“Yeah? Yeah! Right. Exactly.” Why was this coming out so horribly.

“I get it,” he says. “I’m glad we talked. I’d be happy to be your plus one tomorrow.”

“Perfect,” I find myself smiling.

***

Taz’s wedding is a dream. An absolute dream. I tell her a million times after the ceremony and I gush to her how much I love her and am proud of her during speeches. Her bridesmaids give their toast, and every person who was at the bachelorette makes sure to tease me about bringing Harry who had been nothing but supportive tonight. He stuck to himself when I was doing maid-of-honour duties, and squeezed my hand encouragingly before my speech because public speaking was not my favourite thing. I had to admit it was nice to have someone here just for me. It had been a while.

When Taz told me she got engaged a couple years ago I always thought it would be Ethan by my side. It was weird that Harry was here, because of Ethan, but also the way he came to be here.

“Hi!!” I shout at Harry after doing shots with the bridesmaids. I was officially tipsy but most of the major wedding traditions were over. We were waiting for the cake cutting and bouquet toss and the first dance. And then it was all fun.

“Hi,” he holds out an arm to guide me to my seat.

“I hate these heels,” I unstrap my feet and groan when I put my feet on the bare floor. “That feels sooo good.”

“Hi!” A chirpy voice says to my right. I peek an eye open and groan again, Felicity has joined the table.

“Hi, Felicity right?” Harry says.

“Fels,” she nudges me. “You glad he came?”

“Whatever,” I shrug.

“She’s happy you came,” Fels tries to make up for my rudeness. “She’s not usually this rude.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Harry says. I cut him a look.

“Oh no she’s very nice. She’s just a bit grumpy probably all the maid of honour duties,” she tries to convince a Harry that’s just sharing an inside joke with me. It does something to me.

“It’s okay,” I put a hand on Fels’. “He’s teasing. I’m allowed to be rude to him.”

Harry laughs and Felicity realizes too late she was sitting in on two people that didn’t need her help to get along.

“Well I’m going to find my date, play nice!”

“Nice suit,” I tug at Harry’s lapels once she’s gone. It was nicer than what he wore the last time we met.

“I borrowed it from a friend. I only have one suit and…well you’ve seen it.”

“Teachers don’t wear suits to work?” I tease.

“Thank god no.” His eyes roam over my bridesmaid dress, an off the shoulder sage dress that honestly reminded me of a folky tinkerbell. “You look beautiful.”

“Flattery won’t get you extra points.” I say whilst flattered. The dress had also reminded me of the colour of his eyes when he greeted me today. Now his eyes stay on me all evening.

The announcement for cake cutting goes off so I walk with Harry to watch. Taz looked beautiful in her embroidered dress and she glows even while narrowly missing cake all over her face. Everyone toasts and she readies for a bouquet toss.

“You’re standing here,” Taz’s cousin centres me. “Because there’s no way I’m catching that.”

“I don’t even have a boyfriend,” I say but the other girls crowd me so I stay put. The bouquet is tossed high and I don’t make much of an effort but it glances off the hand in front of me and lands on me. I squish it against me to keep it from falling.

“YN!” My friends tease me and I hold it up in mock excitement. Taz laughs from up front and I go up to hug her, I’m handed another flute of champagne and I toss it back with my best friend.

“YN’s next,” one of the bridesmaid says. “Cheers!”

I get another drink and down it with the girls. I can’t stop laughing about it. I try to look out for Harry to see how he feels about the bouquet but he must be in a darker corner. I don’t spot him.

I refuse the next drink pushed my way and move to my seat as the couple gets ready for their first dance. Harry’s not there but he sits down shortly after I do.

“Look!” I show him the bouquet. “I caught it!”

“I saw,” he smells the flowers. “I got a picture of you.”

“Let me see!” I hold my hand out and wait for him to find it.

“Oh my god,” I laugh as I zoom into my face as the flowers hit me. “Look at my face! And look at her! This is a great pic…” the words die on my lips. I’d accidentally swiped to the camera roll zooming out and I see dozens of photos of me.

“Oh,” Harry takes the phone from me. “Is that creepy? Sorry I was taking photos to send you since you’re busy having fun I-“

I feel tears threaten my makeup and I clench my mouth closed. Despite all the drinks I suddenly feel incredibly sobered.

I take his phone back and swipe through, he recorded my speech and took a million photos of me with Taz. My chin trembles.

“Hey I’m sorry,” Harry takes the phone back. “I didn’t mean to upset you I’ll delete-“

“No!” I stop him. “Don’t. I want all of them.”

“Why are you…” his confusion is all over his face. “Are you upset?”

“No,” I blink away any tears. “Sorry. No. I’m okay! I’m alright.”

It was stupid but Ethan never took photos of me. Even on important days like birthdays, Christmas, holidays. I had a million candid photos of him but I had to beg and remind him for photos of me. Harry took so many without even asking, just because he knew I would want to look back on the memories I was making. It was such a basic thing to do but it felt like the world to me in this moment.

“Thank you.” I say when he doesn’t make a move. “Honestly thank you. Sorry, ignore what my face is saying! But make sure you send every single one okay?”

“Yeah I will,” he promises. He swipes a fallen tear with a gentle smile. I draw back from his touch and use a napkin to dab at my eyes instead.

“YN you know I’m really sorry,” he says just as the first song comes on.

“No I’m fine!” I shift my chair to face the dancefloor. I position it slightly ahead of Harry so he leans forward to speak to me.

“I mean about the other wedding we went to.”

“Yeah I-“ he looks serious so I stop what I was saying. I turn slightly so I can look at him. “Can we talk about it later?”

“Yeah,” he shakes his head. “I didn’t mean to…”

“Okay,” I smile and turn back to admire the couple but I can sense the emotional turmoil beside me. I push my chair back enough to be side by side with Harry. I lean my head on his shoulder as I watch the married couple dance the first dances of many. When Harry puts his arm around me, his thumb rubs my shoulder. A finger pokes my arm and Dots face pops in beside me to waggle her eyebrows. Was everyone watching me with Harry tonight?!

When the DJ invites everyone else onto the dancefloor I pull Harry up.

“So what was it you were saying?” I ask as we wrap arms around each other.

“I like you a lot YN. A lot. Even when we first met, I started liking you right when you returned my bullshit with sarcasm. You rolled with all my jokes. It was a breath of fresh air.”

I don’t say anything; he had more to say.

“I wish I didn’t do what I did. I sabotaged everything because I was hung up over the wrong girl. And now I’m just a guy to you. A guy you kissed once, I’m just a favour returned.”

“Why are you telling me this now?” I ask.

“Just in case you felt anything, if you thought we could…”

“Harry you lied to me. Embarrassed me. You weren’t a very nice person.”

“I know-“

“I do like this Harry better.”

“Uhm,” he thinks. “Thanks. It’s old Harry, before my life went to hell. Old Harry mixed with some lessons learned. I’m telling you I was at rock bottom when I did what I did.”

“I believe you.” I did.

He sighs in relief. “Thank you.”

We dance quietly for a bit. Until I speak, “I’m trying not to date losers.”

He flexes his jaw, fixating on a spot behind my shoulder.

“I thought you were one,” I tell him honestly. “But I’m not so sure now. But this feels like asking a lot Harry I…”

“You don’t need to respond now,” he urges. “Just think about it.”

“I can’t,” I was terrified of agreeing to a relationship that would hurt me all over again. “I do like you Harry but I don’t know if I can agree to what you want…”

The truth was that Harry was showing me that the glimpses I’d gotten of him throughout the last week were more telling, more consistent than the guy he was when we first met. I was deathly afraid of getting hurt again, and I’m not sure I was willing to take the risk. If that kiss was any indication, I know Harry was telling the truth on his end but I didn’t want a relationship with a guy who started it off by lying.

“I’m-excuse me,” Harry stops mid-dance and walks away. I feel awful but I let him go, watch him disappear to the lobby, and I sit back in my seat. Dots tries to wave me by but I ignore her. The lump in my throat sits heavily and I feel like shit. Especially when a few dances later Harry returns and announces he was going home early. His face is splotchy and it feels awful.

“Are you sure?” I ask him.

“Yeah,” he holds my arm. “Thank you for tonight, and again I’m really sorry about everything.”

I just pull him into a hug, with no words equivalent to what I should say. He squeezes once and lets go.

“Tell Taz thank you for the invite. I’ll see you around.”

“Okay…bye Harry.”

That’s the last I see of him. I head right to the drinks and drink enough to feel okay. I dance with my friends and get as many pictures as my phone can handle in.

At the end of the night I go home to an empty flat and drunkenly download all the dating apps I swore off of. Swiping through like a catalogue, by the time I wake up the next morning I’m well on my way back to the dating scene.

***

I stare at the man in front of me. His profile on the app was exactly the kind of guy I was looking for. And he’d actually made me laugh a few times tonight which was a bonus. But something feels like it’s missing—they all have this last month as I became a serial dater. I was really putting myself out there but nobody made it past date two.

“So how about heading out?” He asks after the bill.

“Yeah! Sure,” I grab my purse and we walk out. He grabs my hand as we step out.

“Want to share a ride?”

“Are we going to the same place?” I ask.

“If you want,” he pulls my hand and places it on his shoulder. He was cute, I could kiss him.

And I do, but it’s just a kiss. Just two mouths kissing. I don’t feel the spark, or the passion.

“Actually,” I pull away. “I forgot I have an early morning meeting so I think I should behave and head home by myself.”

“Oh,” he looks disappointed. “Well maybe we can do something on Friday?”

“Yeah I’ll text you?”

He pecks my lips, “Sounds good.”

I get a car and as I drive away from the date my hands stray to my lips. I remember another kiss, and then I slam the door shut on it. You can’t keep comparing all your kisses to that one!

Except the thing about telling my mind not to think about something, I do. I think about Harry, and question myself like I have been ever since the wedding if I made the wrong choice. Did I push him away too quickly, out of fear? Am I protecting myself or just scared?

I open the text exchange between us like I do weekly and hover my fingers over the keyboard. What do I say? What could I say?

I scroll to the top of the conversation and find his address and plug it into my phone. I was 18 minutes away.

“Excuse me could I change the drop off?” I ask the taxi driver. “I had a change of plans.”

He asks me where and he knew the area enough to take the left and head in that direction.

That was very impulsive. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that?

Adrenaline courses through my body as I pray that he still lived in the same place. What was I going to say?

My leg bounces up and down as I stare out the window, biting down on my lip. This was stupid, I made him bloody cry the last time I saw him. Then again I cried the time before that. Were we equal? Was I twisted enough to think this could all work?

I nearly jump out of the taxi after paying and walk to the front door. Of course, you needed a key card.

With shaking fingers I call Harry.

“Hello?”

I freeze. He was out, the sounds of people and music give that away.

“YN? Is that you?”

I was so stupid! Why did I do this?

“YN?” Now Harry sounds worried. I take a deep breath.

“Sorry! Wrong number. I meant to call som-“

“YN are you alright? Is everything okay?”

The background noise disappears. He must have stepped out.

“Yes sorry to worry you!” I squeak. “Everything’s fine.”

“Why did you call?” He asks as I ask “What are you doing right now?”

We laugh. Harry tells me, “You first.”

“It was an accident…”

“Oh well…a good accident.” I can hear his smile through the phone. “I was just grading final tests at my local pub.”

His local pub…that meant he was close by. I think. My heart picks up speed. “Oh! Is that something you do often?”

“Yeah some of these papers remind me why I’m quitting this job. So I drink to get through them.”

“Giving up on the youth of tomorrow?” I ask. I spot a bench a little ways away and head to it, next to a bike rack.

“Yes!” Harry laughs. “They’ve given up on me too. They’s all assholes nobody listens to me.”

“I would’ve liked to have you as a teacher,” I go for flirting. “None of my grade school teachers were good looking. I could’ve used a distraction.”

“So you’re admitting that I’m good looking,” Harry says just as I spot him heading to his door.

“Yeah in your grey t-shirt, I think so.”

I watch as he whips his head around and scans the area until he spots me.

“I lied,” I get up and wave at him. “I came by to see you but I was embarrassed when you weren’t home.”

“Why-“ his voice sticks. “Why did you come to see me?”

“Well,” by now we’re close enough that I could shout to him but I still use the phone. “I thought about what I said that night and I think I was too harsh.”

“And?” Harry stares at me as I walk up to him.

“And I want to believe that a second impression can be just as important as a first.”

He’s alight in a second, hope injected into his features. I stop a few feet away from him.

“I’ll take that. I’ll take it.”

“Okay,” I move in closer, lowering my phone. My eyes are on his lips and I don’t care that how badly I want to kiss him is plain as day. Because in the moment he reaches for me I know he wants this just as bad.

My mind is wiped clean when he kisses me—I kind of hate myself of a month ago for denying me of this all this time.

It’s indecent, the way we kiss out there. When my mind returns to my body I push him away, flushed and nervous.

“Should we take this up to your place?”

“Why? Are you getting shy?” He teases.

“Your neighbours are getting free entertainment,” I’m out of breath as I talk and this seems to make Harry smile even harder. He presses a hard kiss to me and then leads me by the hand up to his flat. We’re on each other with every pause we take, it’s gross and unlike me but I’m just too happy to stop. The spark, the passion, everything I’d been looking for is here.

“Can I uh,” Harry closes the door behind us as I continue kissing him, my lips finding any part of him. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Sure,” I watch him unbutton my cardigan. “I’ll take a tall glass of whatever you’re serving.”

He smirks and pulls me back in. I jump when he tells me to and he carries me to wherever his bedroom is. I’m barely in the right state of mind to notice anything as I get lost in us. In the way his hands hold me, and the way his moustache feels on my skin. Maybe it’s been a while or maybe it was him but having this after so long makes it taste sweeter than it ever had.

***

“Happy six months,” Harry wraps his arms around me from behind. I’m making us coffee, we were up especially early because we were making the trip to see Harry’s family for the holidays. Usually this is when I went to Taz’s but this year she’d urged me to spend the time with my boyfriend’s family.

She’d been suspicious when I first told her about Harry. But when she saw how happy I was she’d given it her blessings (and I’m pretty sure threatened Harry with some dismemberment). I hadn’t had a big Christmas in a while, and Harry said he had more family coming into town. I was nervous to meet so many new people, people that meant a lot to Harry. But he assured me everyone would love me.

“Happy six month,” I reach up to peck his lips and settle against him. He hums as he tightens his arms around me. I couldn’t believe this was my life now, I was happier than I ever dared to think I could be. I never knew a relationship could be so complementing, so grounding.

Despite our rocky start, that Harry and I had discussed in depth when we first started dating, we were mostly smooth sailing. The way I saw it we met as two damaged people. Somehow we parted from there and ran like parallel lines until we were straightened out enough to meet again. And now we ran together as a pair of lines.

“I’m so lucky,” Harry presses a kiss to my temple, thinking the same thing I had been. “I’m the luckiest guy in the world YN. You make me the luckiest guy in the world.”

“Then that would make me Mrs. Luckiest-Guy-in-the-World,” I joke as I turn in his embrace.

“I’d like that,” he strokes my cheek. “I’m excited to introduce you to everyone tonight.”

“That makes one of us.”

“YN I promise there’s nothing to be nervous about. They already love you because they know you’re the reason I’ve been so…me.”

I swallow the ball of emotion in my chest. We were both just us around each other. No fuss, no pretending. Just us. It wasn’t something I could share with my own family, they barely knew what I was really like. Harry had met my parents separately when they were in town a couple months ago. They’d liked him, but they also liked Ethan so it wasn’t saying much.

“I trust you,” I hold his face in my hands. “Fine.”

“Good,” his hand rubs my back. He pulls me into his chest, crushing me against him until the coffee goes off.

“Thanks love,” Harry says as I hand him a mug.

We chat about nothing as we take our coffees to the couch where we sit snuggled. I feel safe here, it’s a good feeling, a feeling that felt so overwhelmingly new sometimes that it made me want to cry. Which always made Harry laugh.

“I can’t wait to spend this new year together,” I tell him.

“Me too,” his lips press softly onto my temple. “I’m finally excited about the future. I’m doing a job I like and dating a woman I love.”

“I’m happy for us.” I smile up at him.

We sit snuggled on the couch as we sip our morning coffee. I savour everything about this moment.

With Harry life was stable, it was good. I knew I would never pick up my phone and find a text so life-shattering like the ex-text had done to me; I know it was impossible to predict the future but somehow I could tell you that I had a good feeling about it.

———————————

TAGLIST: @tiaamberxx @cherryshouse

#harry styles fic #writingsfromhome #harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles series #harry styles angst #harry stylesxreader #series #i didn’t really know where this one was going lol #but I am also feeling lazy to edit so dont mind #sorry in advance if this isn’t the ending you wanted lol #road trip

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tacticaltaxonomist · 2 months ago

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Can you tell me more about your experience with the blackberry key2?

Sure! I'll assume this is in context of "Should I get one".

I have the Blackberry Key2 (BBF 100-1)

The short version:

It's an outdated phone, and while I love it (so much, I'll cry when it dies), I can't in good consciousness recommend to BUY it, except under specific circumstances.

If you want it for browsing, chatting, notetaking, and similar casual use, and don't necessarily need it for important things like bank apps (see below), then... you're possibly still better off with a Unihertz!

Why? Used Blackberrys very often have keyboard issues, and unopened/unused ones are *expensive*, you can get something like a Unihertz Titan Slim for the same money or cheaper, and that has Android 11, not 8. (I have not used their phones yet, but when my Key2 will eventually die it's where I'll look first, for lack of better options).

If you can get a used one for dirt cheap (and have 2nd phone/pc for banking apps) AND you can test the keyboard, go ahead. If you have tried the Unihertz and Blackberry keyboards, and just like Blackberry better, and are willing to shell out for the sake of the keyboard, that's of course up to you.

Hope this helped :)

The LONG version:

I love hardware keyboards on phones and had many (Sony Ericsson P900, Sony Ericsson M600, Blackberry Q10, Blackberry Priv, Blackberry Key 1). The Key2 was released in 2018 and I got mine in 2021. It's still my "daily driver" and use it for all my browsing, tumblr, discord, music, train tickets, etc. For those purposes it works perfectly good.

I do not watch videos, or play games on my phone.

The Keyboard has been super reliable for me, it even survived having a full mug of tea pured into it (don't recommend). The spacebar was sticky for a couple days after drying, but has been flawless in the months since.

The phone sits well balanced in your hand to type (unlike the PRIV and SEP900) and the keys are pleasant to type on. After 3-4 years of constant use it's got a couple dings on the black coating of the keys, but that's happened on every keyboard phone I've had so far, and is well within expected signs of use. I write the majority of my stories (and all my discord chats) on my phone, it's seen *a lot* of use. Think 90% of ALL my typing in the last 3-4 years.

Other than that, it's a different proportion than most phones on the market right now, I've not had issues, but I do remember that Pokemon Go struggled with the Key1 (same proportion) and I wouldn't be surprised if that might be an issue with other game apps too.

I LIKE that the screen (and phone) isn't enormous. In comparison I hate the Redmi Note 10 Pro's huge screen, it's inconvenient. On the Key2 you can comfortably reach everything with your thumb. Also, the screen has been REALLY GOOD about scratches, compared to non-blackberry phones. It's got some micro scratches that are only noticeable in really bright sunlight (but in no way disruptive), and a couple months ago a good 3 mm corner on the top of my screen broke off (because I dropped it on tile without a case, like an idiot), but it's got NO CRACKS, no color or light issues. Completely fine. (Comparatively: the Redmi Note 10 Pro has a huge gouge through the screen.... from... somethign???? Within the first month of owning it lol)

Big Cons of a 6 years old phone:

1. Android 8.1.0 is the newest OS, and the last security patch was in 2020. Some new apps don't work, especially ones that require high security like Banking apps! Neither my bank nor my post app work on this phone, and I do not recommend using them on it even if your app allows it.

2. You can't break a Blackberry and install a different OS like you can a Xaomi.

3. Battery is weakened. We all know this, the older batteries get, the weaker they become. If I use my phone all day on wifi and bluetooth headphones I have to charge it by the evening. I take a charging block with me when I'm out a couple hours just in case it dies. Things like mobile data browsing, location tracking, videos and games, are *hard* on your battery.

Other issues I encountered / dislike:

I hate the camera, it's a lot worse than Key1 and PRIV's. If you like taking photos with your phone this ain't it.

Fingerprint scanner. Does it have one? Sure. If no phone has ever struggled with your fingerprints you're probably fine. EVERY phone (and airport) fingerprint scanner ever has had trouble with my fingerprints, but none fail as hard as Key2s. I don't use it lol (this might be an issue with my phone specifically, the Key1 wasn't as unreliable).

If you still have more specific questions, or use cases, or "that's all fine so long it runs one(1) app can you check that for me", feel free to ask o/

#unexpected blackberry rant #blackberry #blackberry key2 #tactaxtalks #my poor old man of a phone #im so sad that balckberry stopped developing phones #siiiiiiigh

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magenta-embers · 1 year ago

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Hi! Nice to read you.

I've been in Tumblr for years, and this is the first time I send a message. I mostly use this app to read, and I'm usually just a ghost because I don't comment or anything else besides read, lol.

Well, the reason I felt like I needed to send you a message is because this channel of yours is new and I have read all your posts so far and I am absolutely intrigued to read more from you in the future because you already made me laugh a few times plus you have a psychology degree and although I don't have one because funny enough, I hated reading so much when I took psychology classes that I couldn't fathom getting that degree.

I do have a way with humans that is not common with the bast majority. I'm very intuitive and empathic as well, which makes my interactions with people deeper than I sometimes would like it to be. But that's a different story... I digress...

I found BTS this year because of K-Dramas. All of a sudden, I don't know how my Instagram went from KDramas to BTS. They are all over my explore feed, lol.

(Well it's not that difficult for IG to full my feed with them since once you like KDrama stuff, the whole South Korea country shows up in the algorithm lol, I just find it funny, sorry again I digress...)

The way I got to "meet" BTS was with the Run Episodes mini Reels in IG. Again, they are all over my feed. So eventually I found out they sing, and found a song I liked, searched it up, found out it was from them, got obsessed with the song, and now I have a few more that I like a lot so far.

I do not consider myself an Army, and I don't think I ever will. I do think BTS is absolutely talented and great performers and I may like more songs in the future if I go over all the albums because so far their songs find me in reels and that's how I have come to like the ones I do. But I do think the fandom is very toxic in my opinion, I'm not saying that all the people in there are, but overall from all the experience I have so far from them, that's the feeling I get as of now from most of the fandom. so I don't see myself connecting that far.

I like all the members. They each have something that I like about them, but what I have come to find out is that Jimin is out of this word. I don't know what that man has, but for God's sake, he can get people obsessed if they are not careful.

Do I consider myself a PJM? No.

However, the man can convert me at any minute to be honest, and I won't notice.

Well, my main reason to write to you is because although I've known about them in more detail the past few months, I'm really new to them. The past month, I got to know what shipping means, and like you, the first thing I saw on Instagram was the JK and TH one. I did not understand what was the romantic side of the videos I was being shown because I couldn't see anything beyond a great friendship. Then, I don't know how, but a video of JM and JK showed up. It was a compilation of them staring at each other and another one of JK walking to any direction JM was going to, and let me tell you...

I felt like I was spying on a couple that were in their private room and I just happened to be in the closet looking through a small hole because I got trapped there before they showed up and shut the door and I could get out. I FELT SO INTRUSIVE THAT IT MADE ME TURN MY HEAD SIDEWAYS MORE THAN ONCE, like I shouldn't be watching such a intimacy without consent. JESUS!!!

The feelings were deep. Let me tell you that much.

So, I, as a romantic person that loves LOVE and anything related to that, such as movies, and again K-Drama, well... I came to Tumblr to investigate this situation, hahahaha... and let's just say that in the past 2 weeks, I have consumed an insane amount of BTS shipping posts than what I would be proud to admit. It's very bad, I need a break. But I'm a binge watcher, and the content seems infinite (WOW), I'm the type of person that watches a K-dramma in one sitting because I can't do it anyway else.

Well, I have told you too much irrelevant sh*t sorry lol

My reason for the message was because I would like to read more posts of JM and JK from the perspective of people that that have follow them for a while and watch original content and express their thoughts on what they see and why they think of them as they do because of what they see.

I am interested in reading how people evaluate what they see without my personal thoughts about what I see as bias. I have been finding the posts I have read like that entertaining. But unfortunately the past weeks as well most of the things I see is people asking bogglers why they think JM and JK are still together and a constant fighting about recent things like video leaks, JK meeting too much with his friends but no with JM, this or that, and it's getting boring seeing these bloggers intelligence wasted on those questions.

My opinion is this: I won't assume they are a couple unless they say so (highly unlikely) or when definite proof gets leaked or posted by Dispatch or something like that. (Which I really hope it never happens, they don't deserve an outing like that if they are not ready) but I find it very concerning that these so called fans, and shippers just want proof that they are together so bad, that they don't care how that proof gets to them, which may hurt their so called bias. That's honestly SICK behavior! And then they wonder why people joke that BTS fandom is full of 12 years old. Again, I digress...

So, as I was saying, I won't assume they are a couple because I respect people, and I don't want to assume their sexuality or relationship. But I don't judge those who assume in a respectful way, I just personally don't want to cross that line.

In my personal opinion, they make me feel like they have feelings for each other and that they are aware of them. Have they crossed the sex line yet? Maybe.

The vibe I get is that they are aware of their feelings towards each other and might be scared to cross that line for the sake of their friendship or the group. Though, that doesn't stop them from being as physical as they show to be on screen.

They're like, "we know we have feelings for each other, we won't cross the sex line, but we will play with fire." And one thing is for sure in this life, intimacy goes beyond the sex act.

They are probably more intimate than what sex could make them be. I don't even know how to explain it in a coherent way to those who just see sex as the way of being fully intimate.

Also, I don't know why people have to assume that they are gay if they are proven to be with each other. I can never get disappointed enough of humans and their limited intelligence, like sometimes two people have a connection so strong that even if they have been only in a heterosexual relationship their whole lives, and there was this one instace where they were in a homosexual one, it automatically doesn't mean the person is part of the LGBTQ+ community, it's just means that there was a person, possibly what they would consider their "soul mate" that happen to be their same sex. But otherwise they have only been attracted to the opposite sex and will find themselves only attracted to the opposite sex if that person no longer exist in the picture, because they will never feel somethig like that again.

I've seen it, that's why I get mad when people don't see that, in this world there's so much that can be possible without putting a pre-existing LGBTQ+ label on it, that's why there's a + in it I guess. But AGAIN, I digress...

Now, even if JM and JK come out saying that they never have had anything going on, that they are with other people in a relationship or whatever else. I won't ever doubt that they had feelings for each other up to 2023. That much I am sure of, no matter the outcome of their relationship. These two had a mini encounter on a live a few days ago, and they both malfunctioned at one point lol they don't know how to control themselves.

But I just wanted to say that I hope you share more of your thoughts of what you see and saw on content where they are part of, like the youtube video you shared, (which I will watch once I have almost 3 hours to spare because once I start that, I won't stop until it's done lol) so I hope to read your opinions on those contents, your thought process as you watch those things. That would be entertaining for me as a new person viewing this shipping world, and those new like me that want to read stuff like that as entertainment or to learn more about them.

People here write as if all the readers are old in the BTS world or, more specifically, the Jikook world and not all of us are. I caught you doing some comments like that too so far, like "if you know you know," or like "you know what I am talking about," and I'm like... "But I don't know, I want to know but don't know lol" so I'm left clueless lol

Please, I hope that if you are here for a long run, remember that people like me will always exist and we may find your blog in our way to discovery and won't know sh*t lol. Also, I hope you tag more words so your posts are easier to find for people like me. Like when a post is about Jikook, you can also tag JM and JK tags since it is about them anyway. I was just following the Jimin tag, and now I will follow the Jikook one because some posts don't make it to the Jimin tag even tho the post includes him. But you may have your reasons, so it's totally fine if you don't.

Sorry for the long message. It's my first one ever, and I took it seriously, apparently lol.

I'm a millennial, I use lol a lot...

Att: The LOL Millennial

P.S. Any possible grammar/spelling mistakes are expected for my old age lol, thank you :)

God, I love a good, long message. Hi! Hope you don't mind me sharing your story and thoughts. It was a good read! I've also been a lurker until recently.

I'll try to respond in order.

"But I do think the fandom is very toxic in my opinion, I'm not saying that all the people in there are, but overall from all the experience I have so far from them, that's the feeling I get as of now from most of the fandom. so I don't see myself connecting that far."

It is absolutely okay to be a casual fan. It's healthier even. About the fandom, it's big enough to be a country, and as we know, a country holds many perspectives, personalities, religions, opinions, factions, moral/political alignments, criminals, and creeps, but also mostly just regular folk trying to make it through the day. That's how I see ARMY. It's simply too massive for everyone to get along. I think the toxicity has gotten much worse since the solo era started and the fandom is more divided than ever.

However, I believe that once BTS returns as a group, all of the garbage that's happened or been said this year will be forgotten. Solo projects have rotted the fandom's brains and yet were absolutely vital to the artistic growth of each member. It's a necessary evil, and BTS will be way, way stronger for it. We, the regular folk here, just keep our heads down and weather the storm. Amazing things are coming.

"But unfortunately the past weeks as well most of the things I see is people asking bogglers why they think JM and JK are still together and a constant fighting about recent things like video leaks, JK meeting too much with his friends but no with JM, this or that, and it's getting boring seeing these bloggers intelligence wasted on those questions."

We're getting a lot more fan interaction from the members during this hiatus than I thought we would. So it was surprising to me to see people whining about Jimin and Jungkook not posting about each other enough. Some people seem to think those two need to communicate solely via public social media otherwise they hate each other. Some people have entire narratives on how/when/why jikook broke up based on the stupidest shit you can imagine. As I said, solo era has been painful. My brain cells are dropping like flies.

"but I find it very concerning that these so called fans, and shippers just want proof that they are together so bad, that they don't care how that proof gets to them, which may hurt their so called bias."

Because to them Jungkook and Jimin are dolls to smash together while making kissy sounds. They just want to "win" their little ship war. As far as I'm concerned, there is no war because jikook is an actual possibility and the others are not. End of story. Any explicit "proof" getting out would be disastrous for them at this point in time.

"In my personal opinion, they make me feel like they have feelings for each other and that they are aware of them. Have they crossed the sex line yet? Maybe.

I think this was pretty much my opinion too until I started my deep dive and observing the timeline. The "state" of them of being aware of their feelings for each other but hesitant was late 2015/first half of 2016, in my personal timeline, it's one of the big shifts I saw. Their relationship has several developments after that too. So if they're currently in a romantic/sexual relationship, they have been for years. If they're not, then it's not likely to happen.

"in this world there's so much that can be possible without putting a pre-existing LGBTQ+ label on it"

Sexuality is a spectrum and people shouldn't have to define themselves if there is no label that quite fits. The more labels and distinctions we make, the more we box people in and become less inclusive. Jimin could be bi, Jungkook could be gay, but we don't know. We can't know. What I do know is that they really find each other really, really attractive.

"But I just wanted to say that I hope you share more of your thoughts of what you see and saw on content where they are part of, like the youtube video you shared"

Thank you for your support! That's the plan! It was painful to be so undetailed in the intro post.

"People here write as if all the readers are old in the BTS world or, more specifically, the Jikook world and not all of us are. I caught you doing some comments like that too so far, like "if you know you know," or like "you know what I am talking about," and I'm like... "But I don't know, I want to know but don't know lol" so I'm left clueless lol"

I know that's annoying, it was for me as well when I was starting my journey. But the "if you know you know" stuff I'm referring to is pics/info that leaked and we weren't supposed to see. More "evidence' I suppose. Nothing that would ruin their lives, obviously, but far far more telling than any dumbass clip/pic we've gotten for their other dating "rumors." Maybe you've already seen them. I'm not going to gatekeep these things, since they're out there anyway and you can find them, but you can reach out to me if you'd like and I can tell you in private.

"Also, I hope you tag more words so your posts are easier to find for people like me. Like when a post is about Jikook, you can also tag JM and JK tags since it is about them anyway."

The reason I didn't tag them individually is because solos, akgaes, and taekookers (jk tag) lurk in those tags and they're eye-twitchingly annoying. Especially right now.

Nonny, thank you so much for listening to my story and sharing yours. It was lovely to wake up to. I appreciate the interest a lot. I hope to hear from you in the future!

#jikook

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