#most of the time I go “yeah this could be so much better but at least there is my unbridled passion behind it 👉😎👉 [finger guns]”

[reasonsforhope]

Re: a couple people in the notes:

Some real talk for the new year, about where we now stand, and what the next years are going to look like. (Still ends on a "be hopeful or else" kind of note, but definitely gets into some heavy truths about the meaning of recent events.)

Look, I'm not saying that the effects of warming aren't already bad, or won't get worse. I'm from California, I currently live in LA. My state's been on fire for half my life. Natural disasters starting amping up early here (and we're certainly in the middle of another historic number now).

But like I said, my state's been breaking horrible disaster records constantly for the past ten years. And you know what? Natural disasters have been getting more and more survivable for years, largely thanks to faster warnings and better mass communication (x).

Does it suck how many natural disasters there are now? Yeah. Are we going to need to organize and mobilize (both politically and especially community-wise) like never before to see as many people through these times as best as possible? Also yeah.

An unknown number of the most optimistic futures were foreclosed when Trump won the US election. That's painful but a reality.

But for twenty-ish of the past twenty-five years, the science said we weren't going to survive climate change at all.

For most of my life, we were worried that we had set Earth on a course to become like fucking Venus (which is, on average, well over 800 degrees Farenheit). Even if it didn't get that bad, we were so worried that global warming might wipe out all life on earth - except maybe the cockroaches. Literally, when I was a younger the kids at my church put on a play about that. It was like an adaptation of A Christmas Carol where the future only had talking cockroaches. I grew up so worried about this. (Yes it was very granola why do you ask.)

But starting a few years ago, studies have shown that there wasn't going to be a runaway greenhouse effect that could turn us into Venus; that earth is warming, yes, but we don't seem to be in danger of that.

Between that and the fact that the adoption of renewables globally is too fast to be stopped, and we do have the technology and environmental science knowledge to eventually re-lower global temperatures by getting to net negative carbon emissions (x), and most countries and at least 73% of people in all countries for which there is data (x) actually care very much about the climate, yeah, we have closed the door on the lava planet future.

And yeah, I do think that's worth celebrating.

That's a massive fucking victory.

Semi-relatedly, I also think that, given the loss of the US election, there's a really, really strong chance the developing world will be what saves us, and we'll just be lucky to be along for the ride.

Most people have no idea of the kinds of stories and statistics coming out of the developing world and Indigenous communities. The world is changing for the better on the environment, even as disasters (and the US) are getting worse. Solar power is going to revolutionize the fucking world, because it's going to grant humanity universal access to electricity, and that's going to revolutionize the world, especially the developing world (aka the global majority). And most people have no idea at all, much less how much it's going to change.

So, yeah, natural disasters are going to keep getting worse.

But there's a long, long long fucking way between "natural disasters are going to keep getting worse" and "the extinction of all of humanity and/or the vast majority of life on earth"

And yeah, I am going to celebrate that fucking difference.

Because for over twenty years, I was afraid I'd never get to.

That difference is absolutely worth celebrating.

We have already averted truly apocalyptic levels of global warming.

Yes, read that again. Let it sink in. This is what the science now says. We have already averted truly apocalyptic global warming.

To quote David Wallace-Wells, author of The Uninhabitable Earth, from his huge feature in the New York Times:

"Thanks to astonishing declines in the price of renewables, a truly global political mobilization, a clearer picture of the energy future and serious policy focus from world leaders, we have cut expected warming almost in half in just five years... The window of possible climate futures is narrowing, and as a result, we are getting a clearer sense of what’s to come: a new world, full of disruption but also billions of people, well past climate normal and yet mercifully short of true climate apocalypse." (New York Times, October 22, 2022. Unpaywalled here. Emphasis mine. And yes, this vision of the future is backed up by the current science on the issue, as he explains at length in the article.)

So we've already averted truly apocalyptic warming, and we've already cut expected warming IN HALF in just the past five years.

The pace of technology, of innovation, of prices, of feasibility, of discovery, of organizing, of grassroots movements, of movements in other countries around the world, have all picked up the pace so fast in the last five years.

Renewable technology and capacity are both increasing at an exponential rate. It's all S-curves, ones that look like this:

-via The Economist, June 20, 2024.

How much more will we manage in another five years? Another ten? Another twenty?

I know the US is about to fucking suck about the environment for the next four years. But the momentum of renewable energy is far too much to stop - both in the US (x) and around the world.

(Huge shoutouts to India, China, and Brazil for massive gains for the environment in renewables, and Brazil for massive progress against Amazon deforestation.)

We're going to get there.

Say it with me. We're going to get there.

[oneforthemunny]

made with love, my valentine |janitor!eddie munson x teacher!reader|

prompt: you recruit eddie's help to make valentines for your class.

contains: fluff. just lovey dovey, lovesick fluff. early in their relationship, but super sweet <3

“There?” 

Eddie grunted as lightly as he could, one hand holding the bouts of frilly, lace paper hearts, the other balancing the loaded staple gun that he should definitely not be holding so carelessly on a ladder. 

“Yes, that looks perfect.” You gave a quick nod from below, holding his ladder steady. 

Eddie caught a glimpse of the tiny smile you gave when your eyes met, beaming from the inside out the way you always did. His knees felt weak, heart skipping with an adrenaline rush of adoration and heat that poured out of his chest, crept all the way up to his cheeks. He hoped you couldn’t see, that his hair hid his blushing grin. 

“Perfect.” You grinned, stepping back when Eddie stepped down, work boots wedged into the old, creaky ladder. “That looks amazing. So much better than I could’ve done.”  

“I don’t think that’s true,” Eddie shook his head, looking around the fully decorated classroom. You’d gone all out. You always did, trying to make the holidays the very best for your kids. Decorating to the nines, even with the little supplies and budget you had. You were crafty, that was for sure, a talent that always left Eddie in complete and utter awe. 

“You did a helluva job without me. This place looks sick.” Eddie’s finger jammed against a paper heart that was dangling from the ceiling. 

“Sick is good right? Sick in a good way?” You giggled, light and airy. Eddie knew his heart was stopping. 

“Yeah, o-oh yeah, sorry, no, I didn’t- I didn’t mean it like sick, bad. No, sick-sick means good. Sick in a good way, like a cool way, ya know? Or that’s what I meant. When I use it, it means good and cool, n-not ew sick as in ill-” Eddie’s cheeks flamed, stammering around fumbled words. The last thing he wanted was to insult you, he would never.

“I’m joking with you, Ed.” You grinned, bumping your hip playfully against his. “I’m glad you like it. It took me hours.” 

“Right, yeah,” Eddie swallowed the lump in his throat. “Hours?” 

“Yeah, I mean, I had some of it from the years before, but most of the glue started coming undone, or they got all crinkled, so I had to start over.” You shook your head lightly. “My hands are completely torn apart. I have so many paper cuts.” You giggled, holding up your hands for Eddie to see. He had to fight the urge to hold them, intertwine your fingers in his like you had the weekend before. 

“Looks pretty gnarly, sweetheart.” Eddie sucked in a breath, pointer finger tracing over the cut on your knuckle, leaving you shuddering. “Should’ve asked me to help. Could’ve at least brought you some gloves to wear.” 

“It was fine. I did it during my planning period mostly.” Not a total lie. You had done most of it on your planning, and the other at home, until nearly two in the morning, when you were slumped over piles of shredded construction paper and glue sticks. 

“But, if you’re offering,” The sing-song in your voice had Eddie’s heart lurching with hope, trying to still himself, remain cool at your soft smile. “I do need to finish up making Valentine’s for the class.” 

You paused, giving him a tiny grin, lip tucked between your teeth. “And by finish, I mean I haven’t actually started.” Your lashes batted at him so sweetly, like you needed to sway him. Like he was on the fence of saying no, rejecting spending time with you? As if.   

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Eddie tried to play it cool, shoving his hands in his utility pants pockets. “Whatever you need me for. I’ve finished for the night, so y’know… ‘M all yours.” 

“Well,” You hummed, neck craning to look at the clock. “If you’re done, I thought maybe we could go back to my place?” Eddie was sure he was going to pass out, head reeling at your words. 

“I just think that would be a little more comfy just to not… be here, ya know? I can order us a pizza and we can knock these out.” You paused for a moment, really scanning Eddie’s features. “Maybe you could stay the night if you want? If it gets too late.” 

“Yes,” Eddie blurted before his mind could rationalize him stopping, eyes wide and words dripping with eagerness. “I mean, yeah, that would be… great.”  

“Great,” You repeated, your own heart thumping with excitement that spilled all the way to your face, lips curling in a wide grin. “I just, um, let me grab a few things, and- You remember where it is, right?” 

How could he forget? Eddie had been beyond nervous, palms too sweaty every time he came to pick you up. The handful of dates you’d been on were slowly becoming more and more frequent. 

“Yeah, I do.” Eddie’s lips twitched, swallowing down his excitement, maybe his nerves. “I just gotta put this up and lock up, and I’ll meet you there?” 

“See you in a few.” The words squeezed out of your chest, clutching your planner close to your body, slinging your purse over your shoulder. 

“Oh, is pepperoni okay with you?” You stopped, turning the lock to your classroom, your voice echoing down the dim lit hallway towards Eddie. Damn, he had moved fast with that ladder, practically sprinted down the hall. 

“Perfect for me.” Eddie called back, curls bobbing when he nodded. He’d nearly flung the ladder into the small hole of a janitor’s closet, snatching his lunch pail and keys before sprinting to the front, locking up and sailing down the cement stairs at the front of the school. 

Every second that went by was a second too long, tires flying over the snow dusted roads that led to your small home. The porch light was on when he arrived, bright and warm and welcoming. 

Eddie hesitated for a moment, whether he should ring the bell or just walk in. You knew he was coming, what would be the harm in going in? Still, it felt rude just to barge right in. Just to walk in felt arrogant, and what if you were naked? What if you were naked? Eddie’s cheeks began to heat, squirming at the thought. 

“Hey,” The door opened before Eddie could decide, leaving him standing there, wide eyed and blinking in your presence. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.” You giggled, leaning against the doorframe lightly. 

“I couldn’t remember if I left it unlocked or not, and then I saw you standing here, so…” You trailed off, a little unsure of what to say, what not to say. It was all still so new. 

“Yeah, s-sorry, I, uh, I was just trying to see if I-I left my wallet in the van.” Eddie stuttered out a lie, patting his pocket for emphasis, heart slightly dropping when he didn’t feel it there. Shit, did he leave it in the van? 

“No worries, um, come on in.” You stepped back, opening the door for him. 

Eddie immediately was wrapped in a warmth, a soft, sweet aroma that smelt entirely yours. He loved it, the few times he’d come over, every time it left him just as light and airy. 

“Thanks so much for coming to help me.” You hummed, watching Eddie carefully from your place in the door frame as he shed his winter jacket, hanging it on the hook. “I thought I was going to be up all night again trying to make these.” 

“Again?” Eddie lifted a brow, his tone teasing. “Sweetheart, you just call me whenever, alright? I’ll come over any time and help you out. Even if it’s the middle of the night.” 

Your giggle was music to his ears, heart bursting at your smile. “That’s sweet, thank you.” Your smile warmed over him, left him spinning with desire. “I just need to finish these. I have six done, I think?” 

Eddie followed you into your kitchen, stacks of construction paper laid out with scissors and hot glue guns, a list of names propped on the middle. “It was easier last year. I only had twenty-two kids, but with the zoning and all these new kids coming in…” You shook your head lightly, thirty-three kids listed on the attendance sheet. Eddie remembered Steve bitching about it at the beginning of the school year. He still wasn’t sure how either one of you handled it, but you both made it work, despite the district uncaring. 

“Yeah, I bet it’s… rough.” Eddie nodded, pulling out a seat. “You just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. I’m yours for the night.” 

Your smile spread, sitting next to Eddie. You showed him how to cut the hearts out, hot glue the paper lace on the edges, then press the other heart on the back to hide it. Eddie made them, setting them to the side so you could address them. 

The better part of two hours was spent in your kitchen, giggling and chatting over pizza and beer, wiping your greasy fingers off on napkins so it didn’t stain the cards. You both wanted them to be pristine, perfect. 

“So, uh, what-” Eddie cleared his throat gently, trying to shake the rattle in his voice from his nerves. “What are you doin’ on Valentine’s Day?” 

He felt your eyes on him, but he couldn’t bring himself to meet your gaze. “A-Any big plans?” Eddie cringed at the tweaking crack in his voice. He felt like he was in junior high again, asking Lisa Caltrelli out to the Sweethearts Dance. He hoped you wouldn’t reject him like she did. 

“No,” Your voice squeaked in response, creasing the paper between your fingers from your tight grip. You don’t know why you were so nervous, I mean, Eddie and you had been out before. It shouldn’t have shocked you so much when he asked you, but still, you were filled with an excited thrill. 

“No, I-I didn’t really plan to do anything. I mean, I would like to, but I just… I haven’t made plans.” You winced at your babbled answer, anything but cool. 

There was a pause, one that left your heart dropping with fear, your hands shook when you cut out the heart on red construction paper. “Um, well, I-I was just wondering if, if you’re not busy- shit, well, I know you just said you’re not busy. I just- I was wondering if you’d want to maybe go and get dinner?” Eddie’s wide eyes met yours, rounded with complete and utter fear and hope, like a deer in headlights. 

“With me?” His mouth was dry, heart beating so fast he could feel it in his eyeballs, sweat starting to bead at his hairline.

You tried to swallow down your own excitement, heart soaring with adrenaline, biting back a wide grin and a squeal. “Yeah,” You nodded, lips curling and eyes shining. “Yeah, I would. I would love to go out with you again.” 

“Really?” Eddie blinked, the words falling from his mouth before he could stop them. “I mean, really? Uh, great, that sounds… great.” Eddie ducked his own head down, gluing the paper lace to the heart, hoping his curls hid his pink cheeks and dimpled grin. 

“I was thinking we could go to Dino’s- Do you like Italian food?” 

“Yeah, I do. Love Dino’s.” You nodded. 

“Great. Um, my buddy, Jeff is the manager there now, and they do this Valentine’s Day special. It’s- It’s not anything crazy, they just put like candles and rose petals and shit on the tables, but he said he could get us in.” Eddie’s knee bounced, buzzing with excitement. 

“That sounds amazing,” You tapped the pen against the table, lips twitching with a smile you tried to hide. “It’s a date.” 

Eddie laughed, grinning so wide you thought your heart might burst. “I’ll pick you up at seven? Is that enough time?” 

“That’s perfect. I’ll have to clean up after the Valentine’s Day party, but-” 

“-I’ll help you.” Eddie nodded eagerly. “I’ll swing by after I get done in the cafeteria. I’ll help you clean up.” 

“Thank you.” You smiled sheepishly, ducking back to your craft. 

Eddie’s hands were clammy when he leaned in to kiss you later that night, at your doorway, under the glow of the street lamp outside. He was even more surprised when you wrapped your arms around him, pulled him closer and deeper into the kiss, one that left you both swooning and heads swirling with adoration. 

The next morning, Eddie was beyond pumped, eager for the day, knowing he had a date tonight. He nearly missed the small red heart that was waiting on his desk- a Valentine, from you. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Eddie. I can’t wait to see you tonight.” 

[sinnabarmoth]

Tribute for the Dragon (16/18)

Pairing: Dragon|Sylus x Fem|Reader

Summary: The progression of your pregnancy sends Sylus away for the day to acquire something important from the dragons, leaving you alone on the mountain.

Content Warnings: Adult language.

Length: 3k

Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (17)

Read on AO3

As the months passed and winter melted into spring and into summer you found yourself heavily pregnant during the hottest month of the year. There were good days and bad days and worse days. Pregnancy was beautiful in some aspects, like when you first felt them kick. Sylus hadn’t let go of your stomach for an hour after that just so he could feel them move around more. But other days were filled with puking, mood swings, and insatiable cravings.

“Sylus?” you called.

“What is it--” he stopped when he walked in the bedroom and saw you laying starfished on the floor. “Did you fall?”

“No.”

“Then why are you on the floor?”

“It’s hot and the ground is colder than the bed.”

“Can’t be comfortable though. How about we get you up--”

“No. I live here now.”

“Little bird--”

“Nothing little about me now. Look at me! I look like I swallowed a pumpkin!” Your whole body ached. “Can we just get this kid out already? I’m tired of being pregnant!”

“You look beautiful.” He rubbed your swollen stomach. “You’re growing our child and they will be ready to meet us in another month. I’m sorry you’re having a rough day though. Can I get you anything?”

“You can make it winter again so I’m not dying of heat stroke.” you fanned yourself.

“If I could turn the seasons for you I’d do it but as it is this is the most I can offer.” he unfurled his wings and beat them gently, causing a cool breeze to blow on you. “Better?”

“That does feel nice.” you sighed.

“Now what did you call me in here for? Or did you just need to complain.”

“No. I did need something.” you tried to sit up but your stupid big stomach was making it hard. Sylus stopped fanning you to help you sit up. “Can’t even sit up anymore…can’t believe I agreed to have three more of these.”

“No backing out now.” he said. “Now what did you need?”

You held out your arms. “A hug?”

“Oh my sweet,” he pulled you into his arms. “It’s been a rough day, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah…” you had barely gotten any sleep last night because the baby decided midnight was the perfect time to start doing somersaults in your womb. Then it was just so hot you couldn’t think to do anything but flop onto the ground. You were sore, you were tired, and you just wanted this baby out already!

He looked down at your stomach. “And you in there, treat your mother more kindly. She’s working hard on making you, you should be more appreciative.”

There was a kick to your side. “Baby says no.”

“I fear we have a rebellious child on our hands. Just know, little one, if you keep hurting your mother like this we are going to have words when you are out of there.”

You laughed. “I don’t think they’ll understand why you are scolding them, Sylus.”

“They’ll know. Just like they know what they’re doing right now.”

“You are ridiculous.” you sighed, your mood easing again.

For a few minutes you sat together, tracing your stomach, feeling the faint thumps of the baby kicking at your insides. “I hate to worsen your mood again but I need to tell you something important that I don’t think you will like hearing.”

Your smiled dropped. “Do you have to?”

“Unfortunately.” he brushed some hair from your face. “I need to leave for a day or so.”

“What! Why are you leaving?”

“Hush, it’s alright. You see I…” he sighed. “I have been enjoying our time together so much this past year. I cannot believe that I’ve been able to call you mine for that long. But there’s a certain dragon tradition I need to complete with the due date coming closer.”

“I thought you were done with dragon traditions. You said you were going to create your own rules.”

“I did and I meant it. But there are some laws and practices that I still have to adhere to out of safety.”

“Safety? What do you mean by safety?”

“You see, there is a special salve that all new hatchlings in a dragon tribe are anointed with when they are born. It marks them as dragon and helps keep them safe. It is said to ward off predators and evil spirits. I don’t know how much I believe in evil spirits but with this being our first child I do not want to take any risks.” he cradled your stomach. “The dragons are the closest that they venture this way but the journey is still long. I will be gone for a day, maybe two.”

“I see. But why is it so far? When we went to the beach where they were that only took a couple hours.”

“That was because they needed the sand. And if I showed up at a ride asking for the salve after I had left the tribe it would be seen as exceedingly rude. So I had to wait for another time and this is the time they are closest to this land otherwise. It is still more than half a day’s journey by flight hence why I said I will be gone for a while.”

“That makes sense I suppose. Just promise you’ll hurry back.”

“I will. I promise. Do you want to go stay in the village while I’m gone?”

“No. I can survive a day or two without you here. I don’t much feel like taking a flight. Not if you want me to hurl in your arms.”

“Alright. I leave early tomorrow morning and with luck I should be back late in the evening, or the next afternoon at the latest.” he kissed your temple. “Don’t strain yourself while I’m away.”

“Trust me. I don’t feel like doing much of anything.” you sighed. “One more month…”

The next morning Sylus left, stirring you from sleep but for a moment to tell you he was leaving before giving you a kiss and taking off. You went back to bed for a few more hours until the baby decided to kick at your bladder and woke you up for good.

You went about your day as normal and decided to occupy your time by finishing some of the baby clothes you had been working on. You couldn’t wait to finally meet your baby! Tara had assured you in the reading she did that the birth would go by smoothly. She had asked if you wanted to know whether you were having a boy or a girl but you decided to let it be a surprise.

You were sitting in the hoard room, the reflection of light off the gold provided the best light to work by, when you heard a sound from somewhere else in the mountain. Strange. Was Sylus back already? Maybe the dragons were closer than he thought.

“Let’s go see if your father is home.” you said to your stomach and waddled out of the hoard room. “Sylus?” you called. “Did you forget something?”

You made it to the entrance chamber and saw there was an entire squadron of people there. You didn’t recognize any of them. “Excuse me, you’re trespassing in my home.” you said, drawing their attention to you, “I’m going to need you to leave at once.”

None of them were speaking which immediately put you on edge. You gripped the fabric shears in your pocket. From the back of the crowd one of the men shuffled forward. You knew this man. He was one of the villagers, the one that had been staring at Sylus and you at the woodworker’s cottage.

“That’s her.” he said, pointing to you.

“You weren’t shitting us, Aaron.” one of the others said, “The dragon really mated with a human.”

You placed a hand over your swollen belly. “I don’t know for what reason you have all come here but I suggest you leave now while you still can. If you so much as touch me you will have to answer to my mate and I doubt you want that.”

“Your mate isn’t here.” the man from the village, Aaron, said. “And he won’t be back for a while. We spotted him leaving early this morning with a large pack. Hardly something you take for a quick flight around the mountain, is it?”

They had been stalking the mountain? How long had they been watching? What did they want? None of that mattered right now. You needed to act. You were severely outnumbered and you couldn’t fight without endangering your baby.

“Now, miss, you can come quietly or we can do this the hard way.” they said, brandishing their weapons.

Fuck! You turned and sprinted as fast as you could back into the tunnels of the mountain. You lived here for over a year. You had time to memorize these tunnels. You could hide from them so long as you kept ahead. But it was hard to do that when you were eight months pregnant! You needed to go. You needed to find some place to hide they’d never find you.

“Hard way it is.” their cruel laughter echoed off the walls, “Get her!”

~~~

Sylus was not looking forward to this. The closer he got to the dragons the more agitated he got. He had to talk himself out of turning around and returning home a dozen or more times. He was already anxious leaving you alone and he started to question how much he really needed this salve. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad would happen if he didn’t get it.

He also didn’t want anyone else letting them know that another half-breed was being born. He would deliver that news himself and face whatever ire came with it. It was late in the afternoon when he finally spotted the tribe down below.

Too late to back out now. He flew down, bracing himself for any manner of reactions from the others. Immediately they picked up on his scent. He recognized most of those that he passed. They glared, some growled, but no one had yet to make a move to stop him.

He steeled himself, his hands balling into fists as he charged forward only to have his path abruptly cut off by a large blue dragon with citrine eyes. “The half-breed returns,” they laughed, “And he reeks of human.”

“Nilamegh, how dearly I have not missed you.” the Draconic fell off his tongue easily. It was strange speaking it again after so long. It was rough in his mouth.

Another of the dragons, a green one landed behind him. “He always reeked of human. But this is new.” they pointed a massive claw at Sylus’s neck. “He is mated now.”

“Yes I have, Bercilak.” Sylus said, “And I see you still have not. Why does that not surprise me?”

“You--” Bercilak snarled before Nilamegh cut him off.

“Really? You took a mate?” their large head glared at Sylus, “What poor pathetic human did you force yourself on?”

“Shut it!” Sylus felt his composure slipping. “She is my mate and she wanted to be my mate. She is now pregnant with my child. I have only returned to get the salve for the anointing of my offspring. I promise I will not return after I have acquired a jar to take home with me.”

“More half breeds?” they snarled and the others that had been eavesdropping showed the same shock. “Was our race not already disgraced by the addition of you?”

“That is enough.” a voice boomed louder than all the others. Every dragon bowed their head and moved out of the way as Tengya stepped forward. Despite being surrounded by dragons twice his size this was the only time Sylus felt truly dwarfed. He took a knee, keeping his head low.

“Sioltach,” Tengya said, his voice calm, “You have returned.”

“I go by Sylus now.”

The old dragon made a noncommittal grunt. “You would.” he dismissed the others. “Raise your head. Walk with me.”

Sylus followed obediently, his entire person on edge as he and Tengya wandered farther from the crowd. He wanted to just ask for the salve and leave but knew better than to talk before the elder did. When they were far enough away Tengya sat down, Sylus knelt in his massive shadow.

The large dragon regarded him for a moment. “You come seeking the salve to anoint your offspring, yes?”

“You heard that much, did you?” Sylus muttered.

“No. But I know there is only one reason you would return to the tribe after so long away.” Tengya said, lowering his head to be more eye level with Sylus. “You have a human mate.”

“Yes.”

Tengya sighed, his molten red eyes assessing Sylus up and down. “You have grown. Last I saw of you, you were but a child. Rebellion in your blood, fire in your eyes. You were such an angry child.”

“My anger is what let me survive.” Sylus could feel all those emotions clawing at him. “Are you not angry, elder? You know why I am here. I have a human mate. She is soon to give birth to our child. There will be another half-breed running amok in the world. Does this not make you angry?”

“Why would it? I am glad that my progeny has found peace.”

Sylus stared at him dumbfounded. “Your jokes are cruel.”

“I do not joke. Do you think that I regard you so little, my son?”

“I am a curse!” Sylus fumed. “A punishment for a woman who tried to take your magic. I know you do not care for me.”

“I created you. If I thought you would be a blight on this world I would have found a different way to punish that woman.” Tengya’s quiet and calm response only stoked Sylus’s own ire. “But I see how your time away has warped your opinion of me.”

“It is not warped. I know I was not accepted here. You all saw me as a monster. An atrocity!”

“I cannot speak for the others, but I know what I thought.” Tengya huffed, blowing a jet of steam at Sylus. “And I never saw you as a monster. You were my creation, my child, whether you accept that or not is your own decision. And then you left. Ran away from the tribe.”

“Because I was not accepted.”

“You were accepted, Sioltach. You are because I say you are. But that was not the problem.” Tengya said, “You are dragon, but you are also human. And you craved to be loved, but that is not something dragons can provide. I cannot apologize for not being able to defy my nature. But I can give you this.” he reached into a chink of his massive scales and produced a jar the size of an urn.

Sylus caught it with a small grunt. “Take the salve. Anoint your child. Accept them as a dragon, love them as a human, as only you can.”

“That is it?” Sylus stared at the jar. “You have nothing else to say?”

“What more is there to say?” Tengya stood. “Return to your mate. Live well, my son.”

Tengya took off into the sky, leaving Sylus alone in the field holding the massive jar. He bowed his head. “Thank you.” he said to the wind.

He packed the salve into his pack and immediately began the flight back to the mountain. There were many thoughts going through his head but all he cared about was going home. Sylus was relieved though. He had the salve and while it wasn’t set in stone there was an implied promise that Tengya would not let any of the others harm you or your child.

Sylus wanted to get back as soon as possible but the flight was long and he needed to bunk down in a tree for a couple hours before continuing the journey. He finally made it back to the mountain late the next morning. The sight of the mountain had filled him with so much joy. He was finally going to be back with you.

He touched down at the entrance and the joy of being home immediately evaporated. Something was wrong.

He sniffed at the air. Your scent was faint, almost gone. And there was something else. Other scents that didn’t belong. Sweaty and masculine scents. Had you decided to go to the village after all? Had your father come to get you? What was happening?

Sylus set the pack down and ran through the cave trying to find you but could find you nowhere. That’s when his nose caught another scent, it was hidden but the further into the caves he got the more prominent it became. Blood.

“No…” Sylus followed the scent into a dark room. His eyes strained in the darkness until he found the source of the smell. That horrible sweaty masculine smell was strongest in here, mixed with the faint sour tang of fear and metallic blood. He found a pair of large scissors were covered in blood. Not yours. But the dark stain on the ground, that was yours. That reeked of you.

Someone had come in here and and hurt you. Someone had raided his home and taken his mate and child!

His skin grew blisteringly hot. What felt like fire surged through his blood and red hot heat burned out of his eyes. Each breath he tasted smoke and death on his tongue.

He ran back out of the cave, his skin shredding around him as he took to the sky once more. A scream ripping from his throat in pain and fury. He was going to kill them! He was going to kill all of them!

[commandertartarsmoocher]

On this Friday I present to you:

a small batch of today's doodles !

[satsugacafe]

𝐓𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐬 | (𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 4)

➳❥ 𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: If it's not a bother for you, can you please write types of simp they are for rojuro, kenpachi, kensei, sajin and iba? Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

➳❥ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: Zaraki Kenpachi, Unohana Retsu, Ichimaru Gin, Muguruma Kensei, Ulquiorra Cifer

➳❥ 𝐀/𝐍: Anon, I’m so sorry that I didn’t write for most of the characters you requested. Majorly because I don’t write for them. However, I didn’t want to turn down your request and decided to answer for Zenpachi and Kensei while adding in extras. I tried my hand with Kensei for the first time even though I’m uninterested in writing for him.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Zaraki Kenpachi — Aggressively Affectionate Simp

˚₊‧꒰ა Firstly, he’s fiercely protective of you, even though he knows you have strength and skills and all that, he still keeps an eye on you during battles, ensuring no harm comes your way. And god help those who do harm you.

˚₊‧꒰ა We all know he has his roughness, but just for you, he’ll grow a little softer. Ruffling your hair, bumping your shoulders, pulling you onto his lap or letting you piggyback ride across Seireitei or wherever he goes (because he gets lost). Aware of when you’re stressed or tired and forces—scolds—you to take it ease. “You’ve been pushing yourself too hard. Take a rest, I’ll handle things here.”

˚₊‧꒰ა You’re his favourite sparring partner from now on. Whether you have the strength to go against him, he’s sparring with you. Consider it his way of indirectly training you for tough opponents because once you can handle him, you’re good to go.

˚₊‧꒰ა His hands roam and wander and they do not apologise. Walking through the barracks and suddenly feeling a slap to your ass, standing beside him or bending over and randomly feeling his hands on your hips, out of nowhere, a giant, towering six feet figure drapes over you, or a bone-crushing hug that turns you into jelly. Yup! Expect it.

˚₊‧꒰ა Your number one hype man, or maybe Yachiru fights him for that position. But he’s your hype man and makes sure that his division also hypes you up anytime you’re fighting or celebrating a victory or accomplishment.

˚₊‧꒰ა Constantly makes bets with you to see who can kill more Hollows or beat up (in his case, kill) bad guys. The winner…gets something only he could think of giving. I’ll let you all decide.

˚₊‧꒰ა “Say that again, and you’ll regret it. Do you wanna die?” Yes, he threatens everyone and anyone because they dare ill-speak about you?! Never around or not around him. Would tell you to spar with him so you can feel better. Hit him as many times as you want since he’ll tank every hit.

˚₊‧꒰ა He’s fiercely loyal, never letting anyone mutter a single word about you. Which brings about his bluntness when it comes to letting you know how he feels. “I don’t like when you’re upset. Tell me who did this?”

˚₊‧꒰ა Doesn’t like when people interrupt your time with him. “Shoo. Can’t you see we’re busy?” Which leads to his possessiveness, always making sure others know that you’re his. “They’re with me, got a problem with that?!”

Unohana — Gentle-Natured Simp

˚₊‧꒰ა “Have you eaten today? You need to keep your strength up.” Yeah, for all of you who don’t like to eat (proper food), you’re gonna have her on your case when she learns you haven’t been taking care of yourself properly. (don’t think anyone wouldn’t mind though)

˚₊‧꒰ა Super supportive and always there to lend an ear anytime you need something to just listen to or give advice. Words of encouragement will be returned whether you ask for them or not, she will always boost your confidence. “You have so much potential. Never doubt yourself.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Tea dates, which probably start off with cooking dates. I can see her inviting you over to her division to spend time making your favourite meals together before moving to her quarters for a more private setting where you can enjoy your meal and some tea.

˚₊‧꒰ა I really don’t believe anyone is that foolish enough to harm you when she’s protecting you. Like everyone knows her reputation back then, and it hasn’t vanished, so you are well protected. Even if she doesn’t need to revert to that old version of her, her legendary skills in Kido are enough to keep you safe.

˚₊‧꒰ა Randomly pops up out of nowhere when you’re minding your business. All you would suddenly hear is her voice behind you, calling your name sweetly, or suddenly feel her arms sliding around your waist. It gives you quite a scare no matter how many times she reminds you that it’s all in good spirit.

˚₊‧꒰ა She had a habit of touching you as a gesture of reassurance, more for her sake than yours. A silent reminder that you’re real, you’re safe and alive, you’re still here with her. She sees you as her haven, her peace of mind and source of all things good. A light among all her transgressions in her past. Something good in her life.

˚₊‧꒰ა On that note of her being touchy, she does enjoy it when you cuddle her. Even if it’s just leaning into her side and wrapping your arms around her or sleeping beside her—she loves it. A small kiss to your forehead or head while she holds you closely and whispers, “You’re my everything,” or “You bring me much joy.”

˚₊‧꒰ა She loves to call you affectionate nicknames and terms of endearment, which makes your heart race when you look at you so sweetly and softly. “My dear,” “My heart,” “My love,” “My stars.” She’s a romantic one as well, in her own way of course. Surprising you with unexpected acts of kindness, a massage, a hot bath, or a spa day.

Ichimaru Gin — Devoted Simp (obviously)

˚₊‧꒰ა He loves to keep you on your toes, making you flustered or leaving you blushing, when often teasing you in a light-hearted manner. Sometimes, he likes to appear out of nowhere, always keeping an eye on you. “Miss me? I was just around the corner. You look so cute when flustered, you know that?”

˚₊‧꒰ა Fiercely protective and will never let anyone harm you while he’s around or not around. “Touch them, and you’ll regret it.” During any situation that becomes tense, and he notices your discomfort, he’ll use his charming words to defuse the tension. “No need to worry, everything’s under control.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Has a soft spot for seeing you happy and goes out of his way to make you smile. Using the moment to call you affectionate nicknames, often in a teasing yet endearing tone. “Hey, sunshine, come here for a second,” or “Looking lovely to today, cutie.”

˚₊‧꒰ა You don’t have to worry about Gin being honest about his feelings or expressing his thoughts, even if they’re difficult to express. “I care about you more than you know. You’re my everything.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Loves when it’s just you and him together amidst the moments of chaos where he can let his hair down and be at ease. He is protective of those cherished times between you two. Doesn’t appreciate when someone encroaches or attempts to drag you off. “I love moments like this. When it’s just us. You and I.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He’s very attentive to your needs and wants while listening to your troubles or ambitions. He’ll remember that you only drink beverages of a certain colour or sit on a certain side of the room—as silly or odd as your preferences are, he respects them. As for your goals, he’s there to support you. “I believe in you, and I’m here to support you at all times.”

˚₊‧꒰ა His form of physical affection is as subtle and gentle as the wind. A gentle brush of his hand against your cheek, a kiss to the back of your hand, a gentle hug before he pulls you onto the futon to cuddle and peppers your face in soft kisses, landing the last one on your forehead.

Muguruma Kensei — Tough and Dedicated Simp

˚₊‧꒰ა He naturally has a tough exterior, often giving you a hard time, but it would be clear that he cares deeply about you. His teasing would be a way of showing affection to break the ice in case you felt like he was being a bit too tough on you.

˚₊‧꒰ა Despite his gruff exterior, he’s not immune to your teasing. If you call him out on being soft for you, he’ll scowl, but the faint pink on his ears gives him away. “Tch. Soft? You’re seeing things.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He tries not to let his affection affect his leadership, but it’s clear he values your opinion above others. If someone questions it, his response is simple: “Their insight’s solid. Got a problem with that?” But if that person doesn’t know to back off, he is fiercely protective, even if there’s no real danger. If someone so much as raises their voice at you, he’s immediately in their face.

˚₊‧꒰ა He’s awkward with words when expressing how he feels, so he opts to show his care through actions—like fixing something for you or standing watch during late-night shifts. “What? You needed help, and I had time. No big deal.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Though he tries to act cool, his flustered moments give him away. If you catch him staring, he’ll clear his throat and mutter something like, “You’ve got something on your face—never mind.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Kensei always finds himself drawn to your presence, his usually stern expression softening whenever you're around. “Oi, don’t think I didn’t notice you sneaking into my thoughts again.” On rare, quiet nights, he lets himself be honest. “You make all this crap easier to deal with, y’know? Don’t go running off, yeah?”

˚₊‧꒰ა He’s surprisingly attentive, remembering small details about you that most wouldn’t. If you casually mention liking a certain snack, it’ll mysteriously appear in the barracks the next day. “Don’t overthink it, yeah? It’s not a big deal.”

Ulquiorra Cifer — Stoic Simp

˚₊‧꒰ა “Why do you insist on holding my hand?” Struggles to understand physical affection and your need for it. To him, it’s confusing and foreign, though, he slowly eases into the act bit by bit.

˚₊‧꒰ა Incredibly observant and always noticing the smallest details about you and remembering them. “You prefer you tea without sugar, correct?” or “You enjoy a warm blanket during the rain.” Even when your interests might be odd to him, once he understands that it brings you comfort, he strives to achieve it.

˚₊‧꒰ა His form of affection of performed through acts of service. Perhaps something of yours finished or broke. He will repair it or retrieve a new and better version for you, in the same colour with greater efficiency, so it doesn’t crash out on you. “Your vase was broken, so I took the liberty of repairing it.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Quiet moments with you are heavily appreciated—often sitting together in comfortable silence or engaging in deep, meaningful conversations. “Your presence is…calming. I enjoy your company.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He’s so straightforward with his feelings, never beating around the bush to leave you second-guessing what he was attempting to say. “I care about you. That is the truth and should anyone harm or take you away from me, they will suffer.” Protective and honesty as well.

˚₊‧꒰ა Enjoy teaching you about the Hollow world and his experiences, finding satisfaction in sharing his knowledge with you. Sometimes he would talk about his time before becoming an Arrancar and the room might grow silent as you feel sorry for his loneliness or the fights he got involved in back then.

˚₊‧꒰ა Has a habit of silently watching over you. At first, it came off as stalkerish since he was always lurking behind you, five paces silently. It was unnerving, but you eventually grew accustomed to his silence as he followed you around for your safety since other Espada might let their superiority go to their head and attempt to harm you.

©satsugacafé 2025: no permission to repost, plagiarise, copy or translate my work onto any other platform or this one.

[ffwriting]

Aot Characters - Nicknames

What nicknames the Aot Characters would have for you!

Also, enjoy the new banners. I like using them more than I thought I would :)

cw: canon verse, slightly ooc, Implied female reader in half of Eren's and Jean's, but the rest are gn readers, no y/n, some cringey nicknames with good reason, Fluff <3!

wc: 1.7k

Characters: Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman, Armin Arlert, Jean Kirstein, Connie Springer, Levi Ackerman, Hange Zoe

Eren Yeager - Sweets, My girl

Eren is the type of person to see a couple while out as a kid and overhear them calling each other pet names, and one of them that he heard once was Sweets. He found it cringy at first, but after hearing it a couple more times, he came to like it. a lot. So naturally after finding a partner, or even once he realizes he has a crush on you, he just starts to call you it. He didn't even realize it at first, but when you gave a questioning look his way when he first said it, he explained why he did. Safe to say that even if you didn't like the nickname, you sure as heck like the story behind it and the man calling you it.

Another name Eren would give you would be my girl. He wouldn't say it in a possessive way though, he would just say it as if he was infatuated. If he was able to get you to be his partner, then maybe this life could be a little better, so he was just so happy that you two were actually dating. He would take every chance to remember it too, so he just started calling you his girl. Most of the time you wouldn't even be the one he would be talking you and he would still call you it. "Yeah, did you see how my girl did in training today? It was so cool."

(I just realized that I used the word 'would' 3x in one sentence, but I'm too tired to fix it now)

Mikasa Ackerman - Middle/last name

I do not think that Mikasa would be much for nicknames, it just doesn't seem like her. She would end up just trying to find something she could call you because she probably overthought about how you would want her to give you a cute nickname, and got a little insecure about it. However, she one day overheard someone talking about how they like to go by their middle name, and she got an idea. She decided that she would call you a shortened version of your middle name. But she decided to make some versions of your last name too because she overthought on how you might not like the ones she came up with for your middle name, so she decided she should just be safe. She has so many thoughts and she just can't seem to express them through words.

Armin Arlert - N/n, angel

Okay, Armin is definitely the type of person who is too embarrassed to call you any of the classic pet names, but he does often like to call you by a nickname he thought of one day. He figured that it was the safest option, it showed that he wanted to call you that stuff, but wasn't too much that he would cringe at himself.

Another thing he calls you is an angel. 100%. No doubt in my mind. Especially if you are kind. He would just be listening to you talk and when you would ask for advice on the situation that he was totally not listening to. He would reluctantly say something like, "I'm sorry you are like an angel, could you please repeat that?"

Technically he doesn't really call you it, he just compares you to one so often to the point where he just catches himself calling you angel in normal conversations. It would just become one of the many ways that he showed his affection for you.

Jean Kirstein - Doll, Woman

Doll is a name that Jean would only refer to you as when you two are alone. Whether you two were out training alone together after the rest went to lunch, or chatting when you both could in the Scouts, he would call you it. I don't think he means it in the current way the pet name is romanticized (currently most fics refer to the pet name as something associated with sexual acts, or mean/rude characters ex: Toji from jjk). I think he would mean it in more of a gentle way, like you are so precious to him like some people's dolls. Despite the faux tough guy act, deep down, sometimes deeper than he would like, he cherishes the people closest to him, friends, family, and you. He cherishes you all, and Doll is the easiest way he can tell you that without saying it.

Jean is the type to act entitled and call you 'woman' to seem like he is this big macho type of man. However, in his mind he just likes calling you it because you often become sassy with him. (Also it gives him a small ego boost that he is the only one who could call you that because to him you were his Woman)

Connie Springer - Your Name, joking pet names

Connie, oh Connie. This guy normally just calls you your name like a normal person. He likes your name, that is all he can really say about it.

HOWEVER, this man sometimes feels like being such an annoyance, lovingly of course. If he felt like it, he would randomly start calling you the cringiest pet names possible. Like I'm not talking sweetie or sugar, I'm talking shit like lovebug and cutie patootie. And he would have no shame in doing this either because he knows that you will break from embarrassment first.

Sometimes you would try to get him back by calling him things like sugarlips and baby boy, but it would fail most of the time because you would just end up cringing at yourself. This would often make you wonder what it would take to make the infamous Connie Springer cringe in embarrassment.

Levi Ackerman - Brat, Your Name + Bonus

The first nickname that I think Levi would call you would be brat, classic, I know. He would just call you this out of annoyance, or sometimes if you were doing something a little too reckless. It was just second nature for him to call you a brat, and even after you two got closer, he just kept calling you that. In all honesty though, sometimes he calls you that, and not in an endearing way. It would probably happen when you have a little too much energy for whatever reason, and he just called you that because you were be annoying to him at that point in time. Most of the time though it is meant in a nonserious manner.

Levi loves to call you by your name, he does not show it that much on his face, but he absolutely loves it. It is slightly weird to get called by your full first name by Levi, and the first time definitely startled you. However, you soon got used to it. Levi, on the other hand, somehow got happier every single time he called your name. He didn't know how just saying your name could make him feel that uncomfortable feeling of happiness, but it did. He would say it any chance he could, without making any feeling he had obvious. Soon he was addicted to it like it was a drug to him. He was not a big fan of it. He loved, and hated, how it made him feel.

Bonus (platonic nickname): Kid

Levi would call you kid even if you were just a month older than him. Why you may ask? Because he found it funny to annoy you, and that nickname definitely would. You had been in the Scouts longer than him, you were taller than him, and you had almost the same amount of respect from Erwin, so why was he calling you kid? It irked you so you ended up calling him kid as well.

When you first did this, you were met with a questioning look, and you defended yourself, "You call me a kid all the time, but I'm not the one that is built like one." This may or may not have earned you extra cleaning duties for the day, but the next time you did it he just gave you an annoyed look. Soon enough, you both tried to come up with simple names to call each other to try to piss the other off. Sometimes you could swear you could see a small smile on his face after you both went back and forth with nicknames.

If you ended up dying, he would never call anyone else kid though. He would be too scared of making the same connection of love, and having them die again, again.

Hange Zoe - My love, Darling

Hange 100% will call you 'my love.' Their reasoning? You are. They would even call you this before you two started getting close because Hange already knew they had a crush on you.

'My love' will be used to refer to you more than your actual name. Hange would even refer to you as that to the other Scouts. Like they would be reporting results to Erwin, and just casually say, "Yes, and my love even recommended the idea that….." This would leave Erwin very confused the first time around until after the meeting he asked an annoyed Levi who the 'my love,' Hange was referring to was. When he learned that it was you, it all just clicked for him, and he didn't even blink an eye when you were called by that name the next time he heard it. And he heard it a lot. Hange just loved calling you 'my love.'

Another thing that Hange loves to call you is Darling (Ex: that one scene where a titan almost bit them and they say, "You almost got me there, Darling"). Hear me out.

Hange would call you this anytime you got even slightly snippy, brash, or fed up with something. It would just come out of their mouth like second nature when seeing you upset. You would have said something a little harsher than you meant to, but you were getting really annoyed with someone in the Scouts, so you were put on edge. When you went to say something to apologize for being rude, Hange cut you off with, "You alright, Darling?" with a perfect mix of concern and playfulness in their voice. That line made you entirely forget about being annoyed and made everything in the shitty world feel even just a little bit better. You would just respond with a quick shake of your head, give them a hug, and feel a little happier for the rest of the day because how could you have a bad day with Hange in your life?

Okay random ramble from me-

Okay so I hop from fandom to fandom a lot, right

Recently, the past two years, I have noticed that in every single fandom there are patterns. Like characters will have the same personality trait, and if you are not careful you might confuse a fanfic for being for one character, but it really is for another character in an entirely different series.

You will have the classic main character personality that is either overly sexualized for their own good, or not taken seriously at all, or both. Ex: Izuku in mha, Ittadori in jjk, Tanjiro in demon slayer, Naruto in naruto

Then, you will have the stoic side characters who have more fanfiction than most other characters. Ex: Shoto Todoroki and Aizawa in mha, Choso and Megumi in jjk, Mikasa and Levi in aot

Also, there is the type of character that made me realize this trend, the 'dumb' side characters that are mostly used to make the watcher laugh. Ex: Connie in aot, Denki and Sero in mha, Nishinoya and Tanaka in Haikyuu, Zenitzu and Inoske in Demon Slayer, and maybe some others that I am missing.

Please tell me that I am not alone in noticing this. Like please tell me this is a normal experience and that I am just going through this realization embarrassingly late in my fanfiction life.

Also, I feel like I only noticed this when I was fandom hoping recently and it just clicked in my head that Smau writers tend to write Nishinoya and Denki similarly. Anyway, thanks for coming to my ted talk. Enjoy this small writing while I start to, hopefully, work on some angst works so I can lure in the other half of the aot fandom bc a lot of you love yourselves some good angst. Like the show wasn't angsty enough already

[kiyomitakada]

do you have any thoughts about the popular fandom concept that most if not all of light's plans worked out when misa was around, and things IMMEDIATELY began to go downhill (and hit rock bottom) the moment he stopped relying on her? sorry if you've posted about this before!

oooooooooh hmm. i do think things immediately went downhill the moment light stopped relying on her but i'm not sure how much that has to do with misa because near and mello are both viciously intelligent and major threats in their own right, and arguably i think things started going downhill the second he wasn't willing to kill sayu (and personally i really like that as a thematic turnpoint. light yagami’s facade failing because he loves his sister too much is the best thing ever to me)

but i do think relying on mikami and kiyomi went worse than if he kept relying on misa, because both mikami and kiyomi are more… prideful? and also more self-deluding? like kiyomi has more boundaries (she gets mad at light about the cheating, whereas misa never confronts light at all) and threatens to break up with him at least once because she doesn't want to be made a fool of, and the only reason she stays is because she's desperately trying to convince herself that actually he does love her and this is totally the right thing to do and she doesn't get sick every time she murders someone okay wait this is going off topic. anyway. mikami has sort-of-similar issues in that he thinks he and god think the exact same way and he doesn’t need to check in before he starts murdering anyone with a criminal record or more importantly murdering kiyomi, even though light told him not to make his own moves, just because surely light would want him to! surely he is acting in accordance with god, and if he’s not, well, that’s not god anymore!

basically they both have presupposed conceptions about What Light Thinks in order to prop up their own complexes. and misa… while misa tells herself that light loves her, she doesn’t actually need him to act like he does, her self-deception runs that deep. so she’s much better for light strategically; as awful as it is, she requires less effort to maintain. in first arc she also does shit all by herself without consulting light (e.g. showing up to his house, running to yotsuba directly against his orders) but 1) at least she recognizes that he didn’t want her to do that, unlike mikami who thinks of course light really wants him to kill his co-conspirator, and 2) hey it worked out. sort of. + 3) she is much more muted by second arc (quits her job for him instantly when he asks her to!) so this was probably less of an issue anyway.

so yeah, i mostly do agree! i don’t tend to think of it as the main point at which light started losing but i think him giving up misa was objectively stupid as fuck. it’s in character don’t get me wrong, he underestimates misa all the time (shoutout to him asking if misa could impersonate kira on a call to his dad and misa going “yes obviously i’m literally an actress” which doesn’t even address how her impersonating kira was how they met). but it is stupid as fuck. especially since (checks manga) his concern is that they’ll get information from misa, the one person who provably stays silent even under three days of dehydration torture. oh my god. can we kill this guy

[docholligay]

@thoughtfulfuri sorry this took me so long! A revised list of books you should look into reading this year. I could have added more ahaha, but this will keep you plenty busy.

Deeply informed by your list and the brief of:  “Books that have deeply influenced the thrust of the genre and media broadly” 

I also went for breadth over depth--you had some authors with a TON of books on your list, and if you’re looking for understanding of media influence I’m not sure that’s the best use of your time. THis isn’t a perfect list but I think it’ll provide a better net than your original. I do not know what you have an haven’t read. Spots where I think you might have read my recommendation I supplied a second. An incomplete list, because no list is ever complete, and always has huge gaps in judgment. WE can always make a new list next year! 

Agatha Christie -- And Then There Were None This was already on your list and it’s perfect. I prefer Murder On the Orient Express, but in fairness, those are the only two Christie novels I’ve ever read. And I’d keep it to one from each author. 

The Art of War — Sun Tzu  From your list, I have no issue with it

Kurt Vonnegut -- Slaughterhouse Five  This is his best and most enduring work. IF you’re looking for incredible influence, this is the one. 

Octavia Butler -- Kindred  I winnowed down your multiple Butler works to this big hitter. 

Isaac Asimov -- I, Robot From your list, make total sense

Daphne DuMaurier -- Rebecca You had My Cousin Rachel, which is great fun, but Rebecca is THE DuMaurier book. 

Leo Tolstoy -- War and Peace I replaced Crime and Pnishment with this not because I don’t like Crime and Punishment, but because if you’re going to commit to a russian novel, you may as well make it the most influential one ever written. This is routinely hailed as the best fucking novel ever written. It is in fact great. I will reread it with you this year! 

Frank Herbert -- Dune. This is from your original list and it’s fine I guess. I think reading Dune is a waste of time unless you’re super into sci-fi, but I won’t fight it. 

JRR Tolkien-- The Fellowship of the Ring From your original list and yeah absolutely. Cannot hope to ujnderstand fantasy as a genre without reading this. If you like it I recommend the whole series, but Tolkien can be hard for people. 

Harper Lee -- To Kill A Mockingbird From your list. Yes, this is an incredibly important American piece. 

Jane Austen -- Pride and Predjudice. There is no more influential Austen novel. You gotta. If you’ve read P&P read Sense and Sensibility, which has the added benefit of being at least four times better (according to people named Doc, who are me, who do not like P&P) 

Ray Bradbury -- Fahrenheit 451. I actually prefer Something Wicked from your list, but F451 is much more influential. If you’ve read Farenheit, read 1984 by George Orwell. IF you’ve read that, read Brave New World by Huxley. If you’re read that, scrap totally, your list is very sci-fi weighted anyhow. 

Oscar Wilde -- The Picture of Dorian Gray. Replaced A Woman of No Importance, which most people haven’t even heard of, with Picture, a deeply and widely referenced novel. If you’ve read picture, read “The Importance of Being Earnest” or better, watch a proshot of a play. 

Gregory McGuire--- Wicked. I dunno that I think this deserves a spot on your list, but I get that everyone’s talking about it right now. And I like the book! But it’s just not very genre influential, it’s more deeply influenced BY the genre. I left it, because I get wanting to engage with everyone talking about it, but those are my reservations.

WE ARE OFF YOUR LIST TOTALLY NOW. So I took a bunch of repeats off your list. I admire wanting to track influential books, and broaden your understanding of media generally, but I think you were sorta getting into the weeds. So I added a few others that have huge media impact. 

Charles Dickens -- David Copperfield    Boy did this suck for me to try and pick. I fucking love Charles Dickens. He was a dick in a lot of ways, revolutionary in others, and the man could write his ass off. He knew how to write a serial style that also keeps track of itself, and there is stuff that blows my mind as a modern reader even now. (If I hadn’t unintentionally made last years book clubs essentially Brit Lit 2: Brit harder i would be doing a Dickens novel for book club. I do have an idea of theming this year as “The American Answer” so like, we did Brideshead last year and the, well, an, American answer to that book is the Secret History. Here On Earth for Wuthering Heights. I don’t know. Actually, there’s an AMerican restyling of David Copperfield in my to-reads for this year) BUT ANYWAY, I ended up picking David Copperfield. It was Dickens’ own favorite, it’s one of his only first person novels, and it is the clearest example of Dickens’ tendency to impress himself upon a character. It has its flaws, of course, but I think centering yourself on David, a nostalgic, emotional writer trying to make his way in the world up from poverty, gives you a great understanding of both Dickens’ incredible influence and his own understanding of HIMSELF. Wow that was a lot of words. I have feelings about Charles Dickens. Sorry. 

Toni Morrison -- Beloved I didn’t like this book, when I read it. But it is good, it won the fucking Pulitzer Prize. I think Song of Solomon is better for me though. Anyway, you have to read Toni Morrison. The way she weaves in the Black American experience with undertones of magical realism impacts the way stories of what I’m going to call “difficult narratives” are allowed to be told today, influencing even people outside of the Black community. 

Salman Rushdie -- The Satanic Verses A masterwork of parallel storytelling, people keep trying to kill Rushdie over this book, a fantastic story about the immigrant experience in Great Britian. 

And some genre stuff for flavor: 

Spy Novels:

Ian Fleming -- Casino Royale  You know who james fucking Bond is. He was a book character first! 

John LeCarre -- The Spy who Came in From the Cold Okay, I am gonna level with you that this and fleming are two opposite poles, but I think they are two opposite poles that give you a really good look at what the spy novel can be and has been. I really enjoy John LeCarre despite not being huge into the genre

Horror: 

Shirley Jackson -- The Haunting of Hill House  This is the novel that launched Stephen King of all people, among others. Jackson is a fucking genius. 

Stephen King -- The Shining Horror is hard, because I read and love a lot of it. But The Shining had a huge influence on both horror and the American consciousness broadly. 

Fantasy:

TH White-- The Once and Future King. Were you at the book club for this? I cannot fucking remember to save my own life. Anyway, if you weren’t, this and LoTR changed fantasy forever. Same time period, even. How we understand fantwasy broadly today comes out of how Tolkien and White were thinking of it. If you read this, read The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe by CS Lewis. 

Grr Martin-- A Game of Thrones Oh, I’m gonna get letters. But genuinely this book changed the game in fantasy, and had a huge cultural impact on America and many other Western countries.

[ncillary]

Self Aware AU (Xavier)

Summary: You have the lowest Affinity with Xavier. The reason is because you feel bad for the Queen MC and vow to play only the main story for his path so that you can find a way to return him to Queen MC safe, sound and happy end.

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Masterlist Self Aware AU

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1 [current] | 2 | 3 |

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"Why you keep staring at your phone with that dull face?" Your friend asked.

"Huh? Oh? Nothing-"

"That otome game again?" Your friend perked up knowingly.

You nodded. Your friend gestured for you to just let out of what's on your mind. You sighed. It begun.

"I just... feel bad that I always stalled the Affinity progress with Xavier. I kinda need him for Battle and not that I don't enjoy the time with him. But... he.. I want a happy ending for him."

"Isn't being with you-"

"MC"

"-sigh- Isn't being with MC, still means YOUUU, means that you achieved it? It's the core of every otome game, right?"

"I get that. But! He has someone. The true one. Queen MC. THAT'S where HE belongs. I'll return him to her. No bargain or ANY sacrifice mambo jambo. I'll build Ulruru just for their happiness. I swear."

"It's just a game. You just follow the story. If the developer did it any other way than you are forced to follow anyway. Not that you can exactly do anything about the story progress."

"Yeah... Knew that. Doesn't mean that it's not my deepest wish for Xavier and Queen MC to be happy together. My MC was made to support in any way possible."

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"Oh. A new event! Nice... Huh? Ohhhh no no no no no... First kiss! Arghhh... But the storyline is nice. Haa... ... ... bye Xavier, hope we can enjoy another fluffy limited 5* withOUT the heavy lover-indication. My MC is just your close companion." You smile before closing the game.

The LI assigned there at the time faded. A new blurry began to form until it revealed Xavier. Eyes closing as the pixels reform him to a complete 3D appearance. Fluttering open, he stared at the door, feeling the empty cafe.

"I'm here. Please see me. I want to see you more."

He slowly sat on the sofa and gradually fell asleep.

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Giggling. Feeling shaky slightly.

He stirred a bit.

Hushed voice, soothing, "Oh shoot. Sorry Xavier. Maybe I should turn off the gyro setting."

He blinked quickly and looked up. There she is. The MC. Unmoving. He quickly got up. Trying to step as close as he can to her but his feet could only settle a bit far from her unless he prompted the correct dialogue that let him get a breath away from the MC. He knew she was a proxy for the person behind the dark screen. Oh how he wished she would just reveal her face to him. But it's a good thing he at least got to hear your voice. The sound he wanted to touch the most everyday.

"Wow. You never get bored wearing that sweater. Guess it's that comfortable, huh. I get it. I hope you change to a better attire once the heat gets too much."

You're there. He can activate the prompt now.

"This is the Second Law of Cosmic Attraction."

He walked closer. Hearts thumping. Happy to be able to get closer to you. But his coded face wouldn't show how much he was actually grinning with glee.

"We'll meet those we yearn for again. No matter how long it takes."

His feet automatically dragged him back too soon for his liking.

"Hahahahaha... You and your Cosmic Law."

She proceeded to claim the Stamina for the morning. Quickly closing the game before he could prompt another dialogue.

His rigidness turned off. He could only move freely when you're not logging in.

"Dang. I should be faster next time. I hope I can force myself out this evening."

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"Haaa... It's already this late. Glad I have Free Retro this time. Huh? Xavier? This is not your usual appearance time. Oh no... Did our Affinity go up? -tap- -tap- -tap- huuu~ -tap- false alarm. Guess this is one of the rare occurrences. We'll... -yawn- m'nite Xavi-"

"I won't slip away today. I'll stay and chat with you for a while longer."

(Please stay. Please. Please. Please.)

"Hmmm... right... Weekly Plan... Didn't think finish yet. -tap- -tap-"

"When you spend your time with me. I'm spending my time with you."

(YES! YES! Go on! As long as you like!)

"Hmmm... Work... Study... Why can't there be just lounging around? We'll I'm off work. Study is better. Search all those recipes you want, Xavier."

He could hear her faint chuckling laced with tiredness.

"5 minutes-ah..."

He was sitting suddenly with MC in front of him. Studying.

"Oh to heck. 15 minutes it is. I'll just be quick and settle myself in."

He could hear walking. A light thump. Possibly she set the phone on a surface near her. Faucet running. Teeth brushing. Faucet running. Walking again. Switch sound. Lights off probably. Scrunching sound. Bluetooth connection on.

"Easier to hear that 'zwing' sound when it's complete. Let me just... haaa... release the tense of today."

He could hear you relaxing with an occasional pained sound. He got worried.

"Gosh. My shoulder is hurting. Maybe I should restock the pain relief patch tomorrow."

She breathed slowly. Slower. Barely there.

(...Is she...asleep?)

*zwing*

"Woah... I could move. And speak freely. Hahahaha... Your phone's gonna be out of juice soon. Hope you can wake up okay tomorrow."

Silent.

He cleared his throat.

"I can hear you. The real you. I'm real. Real like you. Queen MC is not you. I get it. But I want you. The real you. So please just increase our Affinity so that I can get a better control to reach out to you. I'll try to get to you too... ... ... I... ... like you."

Darkness plunged his consciousness. The battery must've died.

"I'll get to you."

A determined promise.

Masterlist of Self Aware AU

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[bookloover35]

Beneath the Moonlit Waves, Sanji x fem reader.

The Thousand Sunny drifted peacefully on the still ocean, the moon casting a silvery glow over its deck. Most of the Straw Hat crew had retired for the night—except for Sanji, who had gone out of his way to set up a romantic little scene just for you. Candles flickered in lanterns, soft blankets were draped over the deck, and the faint hum of music seemed to rise from the waves.

You sat opposite him, feeling your cheeks flush as he poured a glass of wine for you with his usual finesse. But as charming as Sanji was tonight, you couldn't help but feel like you were being watched.

Luffy and Usopp were crouched behind a barrel not far from the setup, their faces split into mischievous grins.

"Do you think he's going to kiss her?" Luffy whispered loudly, his excitement barely contained.

"Shh!" Usopp hissed, smacking Luffy on the arm. "They'll hear us! Besides, Sanji's so awkward, there's no way he'll make a move on his own. We're going to have to help."

Sanji, completely oblivious to his crewmates, glanced up at you with those soft, adoring blue eyes of his. "I, uh, hope this isn't too much. I just thought...a beautiful evening deserves to be shared with someone even more beautiful."

You felt your face heat up. "Thank you, Sanji. It's perfect."

Meanwhile, Luffy was nearly bouncing in place. "Come on, just kiss her already!"

Usopp groaned and rubbed his temples. "Okay, that's it. He's hopeless. Time for Plan B."

From their hiding spot, Usopp pulled out a small, hand-crafted ukulele. He strummed a few discordant notes before finding a rhythm, singing softly at first.

"Sha-la-la-la-la, don't be shy, you better kiss the girl..."

Sanji's head whipped around, his eyes narrowing as he scanned the deck. "What the hell is that?!"

You stifled a laugh, your hand flying to your mouth. "It sounds like... Usopp?"

Usopp, trying not to break into laughter himself, kept going, his voice exaggeratedly smooth. "Yes, you want her... Look at her, you know you do..."

Sanji's face turned red as he stood up, fists clenched. "Usopp! I swear, I'm going to—"

But before he could finish, Luffy popped up from behind the barrel, completely ignoring the tension. "Sanji, why don't you just kiss her? Everyone can see you like her! It's so obvious!"

You froze, your face burning as Sanji turned to you, panic in his eyes. "Luffy! Shut up! This isn't—"

"Go on, kiss her!" Luffy encouraged, pointing at you like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Sanji let out a frustrated sigh, muttering something under his breath before turning back to you. "I...I'm so sorry about them. They're idiots."

You couldn't help but laugh, the ridiculousness of the situation easing your nerves. "It's okay. They're just trying to help...in their own way."

Sanji hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath, his expression softening. "Still...if they're going to sing about it, I might as well give them something to sing about."

Your heart skipped a beat as he stepped closer, gently brushing a strand of hair from your face. His gaze locked with yours, searching for permission.

"Is this okay?" he asked softly.

You nodded, and before you could say another word, his lips met yours in a kiss that was warm, sweet, and full of the emotion he always tried to hide.

From behind the barrel, Luffy cheered loudly, clapping his hands. "Yeah! He did it!"

Usopp sighed, slinging the ukulele over his shoulder. "About time. I was running out of lyrics."

The two of them scampered off into the night, leaving you and Sanji alone once more beneath the moonlit waves.

[klseay]

╰┈☆ 𝑀𝑦 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 | 𝑆𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑎 𝐵𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑢𝑠 | 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 2 ☆┈╯

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: 𝐴𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡, 𝑓𝑙𝑢𝑓𝑓, 𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑜𝑓 𝑎𝑏𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑛𝑒𝑔𝑙𝑒𝑐𝑡.

𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆: 𝑁𝑜𝑡 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑝𝑢𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑜 𝐼 𝑎𝑝𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑔𝑖𝑧𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑑𝑣𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒. 𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑓 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑑. 𝑀𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑎 𝑓𝑒𝑤 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑠𝑜 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒-𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑 :) 𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘𝑠 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒!!

𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 3,9𝑘

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒐𝒗

The following weeks after the confession at Stina's apartment had been like a surreal fever dream, one very good dream, that is to be said. In the matter of hours after the ‘incident’ it was as if the entire world had shifted gears and turned upside down. Leaving you absolute stunned and in a better mood then usual.

Growing up in a house surrounded with not one, but four older brothers you never really got what you wanted; or had things go the way you wanted them. So, when it finally dawned upon you that you in fact now had Stina. It hit hard, harder than you could have ever imagined and been prepared for.

Your teammates had not been oblivious to the significant change in both yours and Stina’s behaviour, none of you being bothered to hide it, they were bound to find out sometime anyhow. You had never been a big one on the whole public affection topic, but Stina sure was. Surprisingly enough? She usually sneaked soft kisses whenever she could, weather it was on your cheek, neck or hand.

Stina would always make you feel all giddy inside, like you were a kid once again, even if it was just for a moment. That was one of the qualities you appreciated the most about her, along with her empathy of course.

Who were you trying to kid? She was so perfectly admirable.

"You two are sickly cute" Beth said after she caught Stina nuzzling sweet kisses to the crook of your neck, you had only flipped her off leaving Beth laughing and sending a smirk your way. Stina barely reacted to the comment, unusual since the swede was known for being shy and awkward.

Something she had barely been since fessed up about your feelings, Stina herself wasn't even sure what had gotten into her. Why she was so confident suddenly, not really bothering what other people thought.

It was almost like you two had traded behaviours, you take over the role of being awkward and flustered. It didn't really matter what she did or said, your cheeks had a mind of its own and often chose to turn a dark crimson colour.

The taboo of two girls dating, whilst also being on the same team wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. Neither of you or Stina had outright told them, but they had noticed the look in your eyes, and that was enough for them to catch on.

Like the one time you were to defend against Stina during a practice match, her very gaze being enough to make you crumble and be absolutely dumbfounded. "You good?" she teased, bringing you out of your state of emergency.

"Yeah... mhm good." you rambled out, not sure on how to act in front of her anymore, especially not amongst your teammates. "God you're so whipped" Lotte gave you a flick to the forehead making you finally come to senses.

"Excuse me! I am not!" You charged to run after lotte, bur before you could do so a pair of arms wrapped around your midsection, making you giggle like a high school girl. A few 'awes' could be heard around the two of you, the voices belonging to a few of the girls on the team.

But Stina refused to let you go, not being bothered by the thought of having to outstand the constant teasing later.

Not much changed other than Stina being the tiniest bit mor affectionate then before, you had promised to take it slow since it was relatively new for both you and her. Mostly her as she had not been in a relationship or anything like that before, not to mention it being with a girl and not a boy as Stina always has imagined.

Though this often made you feel confused as you were used to things moving in a fast pace, it felt as if you two were nothing more than close friends at times. That bothered you to an uncomfortable degree.

It made you doubt everything, were you two really a thing? Did Stina even feel whatever you felt, you weren't sure. The guilt had built up over a few days now, something was missing, and you wanted it so desperately. But you had both agreed on taking things slowly to find out what you wanted.

You already knew what you wanted, for long now this had been a known knowledge for you. You wanted Stina, that was all you'd ever want.

The following days were the same as the others, Stina came to pick you up for training at eight am, kissing you hello was probably the most intimate you two were during the day. The privacy of her car allowing a few more seconds of your lips moving together then normally.

Though it was always very shallow, the kiss never deepened or got more intense. It was always the soft, gentle meeting of two pairs of lips, it wasn't the fact that you didn't enjoy the careful kisses. Something was just missing and no matter how much you tried to put space between yourself and the void it kept coming back.

Sure, you had gotten used to her touch by now, well almost at least, no matter how much or how often she touched you the tingling sensation in your stomach never faltered. Stina's touch on you was always careful and gentle, as if you were so fragile you could break at any moment.

You loved her soft touches and how gentle she always was, but it barely applied to what you wanted and needed.

You thought that everything you doubted and feared recently wouldn't show to Stina and the others, that you were unbelievably good at showing away your problems, it barely affected you. Right?

Much to your disappointment it did affect you, in ways you never thought they would. Not only did it completely make you spiral emotionally, making you snappier and sensitive to criticism than usual. Your behaviour towards Stina as well as the rest of the team completely changed, it was wrong, you were not supposed to feel this way.

Downplaying your feelings and telling yourself they don't matter had always been you biggest flaw. Throughout there had been multiple of people telling you, no, begging you to acknowledge what you’re feeling. Because apparently, it's "okay to feel", you knew that, and you always responded saying that you did let yourself feel.

But you could never convince yourself of following through with what you said, another thing you absolutely sucked at. Obviously, you knew it wasn't great, the habits you over the years had built up in order to protect yourself.

"Hey mate, you're awfully quiet lately"

With a heavy sigh you slumped down onto the grass beneath you, breath rigid due to running the three laps around the pitch that Renee had ordered.

The tensed shoulders and conflicted along with your darkened eyes made Steph completely quiet as she, with very few sudden movements sat down next to you. Crossing one leg over the other, she didn't speak, neither did you.

Though there was something oddly comforting about not exchanging words, simply sitting together and finding comfort in her presence, something you weren't aware you needed.

It felt impossible to keep avoiding the truth, to keep pushing everyone away, pushing Stina away. "It's so stupid, honestly, I'm not even sure myself what's wrong. Feels useless to talk about when I haven't figured it out yet" you suddenly announced.

Steph shot a quick look around, the rest of the team sitting in a huddle a few meters away on the pitch, completely engrossed in their own discussion.

"You don't have to talk about it, maybe I can help, or I can't, no matter I am always willing to listen. Sharing what bothers you might help?" Her soft voice was like soothing cream to your open wounds. You shouldn't be feeling this way, but you did.

When you didn't answer Steph continued "Has it got something to do with Stina?" the sentence making your head spin. Yeah, it had something to do with Stina.

"Kind of" you uttered through the gap between your teeth, the hot air mixing with the chilly one to form a small cloud. "I just feel weird about it all. I mean she shows me plenty of affection, still I can't help but feel as if I like her more then she does me?"

"I keep thinking about how I need more then whatever is going on right now. It feels like we're just friends who occasionally kiss and share a few moments but nothing more" the confession lingering like fire on the soft skin inside your mouth as you desperately tried to soothe it with your saliva.

"Have you talked to her about this? To Stina?" no, you sure had not spoken about this with her. "I can't, it's her first time being with someone and we agreed to take things slow. I can't just shove all my needs in her face when..."

You stopped yourself, the frustration in your words making it hard to breathe suddenly. "Point is I promised, and I don't want to make her uncomfortable. Already feel like I'm losing her." admitting that sucked, but it was the truth, and you couldn't keep it in any longer.

"You are absolutely not losing her; can't you see how whipped she is for you? She's always been and I'm in no doubt she will always be" Steph's words somewhat deflated the huge balloon of worries and insecurities inside of you.

"Maybe not, I'm just so unsure of what she wants. What I want isn't important-" "I'm going to stop you right there, of course what you want is important. But if you don't know what she wants then just ask her." You couldn't, it would be wrong.

"No, it's not wrong to ask, can hear your thoughts from miles away." Steph said before leaning closer to you and lowering her voice significantly "And Stina too apparently, she's been looking at you like a worried owl for the last ten minutes"

This made you snap your eyes open and shoot a look over your shoulder. And sure, enough you were met with Stina's worried gaze.

Shit...

You knew she would ask you about it sooner or later, it was only a matter of time and place, but it would come.

And when it did you weren't sure if you'd have the guts to talk about it with her, she deserved an explanation for the way you've pulled away from her recently. You knew that but was it better to lie and spare everyone’s feelings.

Or do the right thing, and risk losing her.

Just the thought of no longer having her made your heart shatter into a thousand of sharp shards, cutting up everything inside of you as they fell through your body.

After the training had finished up you found yourself in the locker room with the rest of the team, the aroma of sweat and the humid air almost making you feel ill.

You had arrived first of everyone, already showered and changed when Stina along with her closest friends entered the space. She looked at you, as if debating on speaking to you, and when she started heading your way you got up and left the room.

Clouded thoughts and your gear bag slung over your shoulder you made your way outside to the parking lot where the coach stood already rolled up. The bus driver took your luggage and hoisted it under the bus while you continued up into the bus, taking a seat far in the back, knowing it would be the calmest place later.

Back in the locker room Stina had gotten silent, she her heart ached, and she couldn't understand what she did wrong. Had she said something, or did she do anything?

She fought to hold back the tears threatening to spill from her glossed over eyes, trying to focus on rinsing out the conditioner from her hair. But her thoughts kept circling back to you, she'd never felt so messed up in her entire life. Why wouldn't you talk to her?

You didn't even look at her.

"Is she really that disgusted with me?" Stina muttered under hear breath to herself. No matter what you thought, Stina felt disgusted with herself. She felt stupid.

How humorous it all was, the fact that she thought things would go smooth as butter from now on.

It hadn't occurred to you how exhausted you'd been until you finally allowed yourself to relax in your seat, all thoughts slowly slipping away as you were taken over by a slumber.

"Y/n..." a soft voice called out after you'd been asleep for a while, the coach now in motion and the daylight outside replaced by darkness.

you kept your eyes closed, feeling rather annoyed as you were woken up. But when your mind registered who the voice belonged to, they fluttered open in an instant.

Stina's eyes were slightly red, she stood in the aisle by your seats whilst anxiously fiddling with the fabric of her arsenal hoodie. You wanted to tell her to leave, that you and she wasn't a great idea, but you couldn't, how could you ever? You loved her.

So, you patted the spot next to you before taking out your air pods and putting them back into their case, shifting in your seat to be able to put them in your pocket.

She hesitated but sat down quickly anyhow, making sure to spread her legs apart so that your knees would touch. Craving the touch she had barely gotten the last few days.

"What did you want?" You asked, immediately regretting the tone in your voice the second it rolled of your tongue.

"Why..." Stina took a second to compose herself and take a very shallow breath before continuing. "Why won't you speak to me..."

Her cracking voice that was laced with emotions made you want to sink through the floor, you knew this was coming, that she would ask. Stupidly enough you never imagined she'd be upset, you felt stupid, so fucking worthless. Of course she would be upset! Who in their right mind would not be?

"I- don't know what to tell you” And you didn't, it was the truth, but maybe not to the full extent.

"And I do? I need the truth! can't you that you're hurting me?" her words made you feel physically ill, as if all life inside had been drained out of you. There was no longer any colour or light, everything felt black, everything was black.

"I'm sorry." It wasn't enough, it would never be enough. You knew that, and you knew, that you'd never be enough for her.

"I don't want your apologies; I want you and I don't understand why you're pulling away from me! Don't you want this anymore? Don't you want me anymore..." Stina spoke with desperation in her voice.

you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to calm the burning sensation in your eyes. It hurt so much, everything hurt. "Of course I want this. I do want you" you mumbled with your eyelids still clammed together.

"Then why won't you-!"  her quiet shout was interrupted by your own words "I'm scared, fucking scared shitless." you admitted, finally daring to open your eyes, seeing the wheels turn in her head as she tried to figure out whatever you meant by that.

"Scared of what?" she shook her head, narrowing her eyes as she studied your face. "Of messing up, fucking up you and me... I don't know how to communicate what I want, what I need or how I feel. I expect other people to do it for me all the time, but I can't keep doing that."

"You should've just-" this time Stina cut herself off realizing her frustration wouldn't ease only because she took it out on someone, especially not if that someone was you.

"I just wish you would've told me” Her words were muttered in a low, almost un-hearbly decibel. Stina's large hands were placed into her lap, they drew your attention when she started picking on her nail bands.

"But I haven't even told you anything" it was confusing, her wishing you'd told her, but you hadn't told her anything yet. "You just told me you didn't know how to communicate your needs and feelings? That would've been enough information for me to help you"

She was right, you knew that deep down, although you'd never admit it. "I didn't want to push you away, I promise... it wasn't my intention" the words leaving your mouth were laced with embarrassment.

In the matter of second you felt her soft skin against yours as she places her hand above your own, gently interlacing your fingers. "I know" she whispered, and as you looked up to meet her eyes all you could see was pure love.

In that moment you doubted your doubts, because how could you ever question her love for you when she looked at you like that.

Like you were the only thing that ever mattered, the only thing that would ever matter.

As if you were irreplaceable.

And to Stina you were just that, as mentioned, irreplaceable. For whom could ever make her feel like you made her feel, who could ever make her feel love like you did?

The two of you stayed by each other’s side, Stina didn't move to go and sit with anybody else. She refused to leave your side; not like you were complaining anyhow. Her hand was still in yours, holding it so delicately, like only she could.

Her soft touch, God, you'd missed it more then you thought. The thumb stroking the back of your hand leaving a trail of growing petals in its track.

Something about her made you feel the tiniest bit more alive, a life without her seemed like an impossible one to live, yet you were very hopeful you would not have experience that.

She would be there during the entire journey, your Stina. If the stars must fall and the earth crumble beneath us, know that my love for you will never waver. And if her heart was as deep as the ocean, you would willingly drown without hesitation, until my last breath.

"What?"

Her thumb stilled over your hand making you look up in confusion "What? I didn't say anything?"

"Yes, you did?" her eyes flickered rapidly over your face; her gaze never failed to make you weak in the knees. "You said you loved me"

The feeling of your heart contracting suddenly made you conscious of the situation "I did?"

she nodded.

You did.

Once again you were faced with the option to lie or to tell the truth, either one of them could end horribly if things were to take a twist into the wrong direction.

The decision that stood in front of you was a risky one, yet again, you were forced to face the reality. You could lose her.

However, if you were to be honest then at least you would have been honest, to both. You owed it to her. "I do" the words rolled of the tip of your tongue before you had time to process the fact that they were about to.

no answer.

Fuck, no.

"I love you so much"

only then you realized the reason to not getting an answer earlier was because of the reason that Stina had teared up, her lower lip trembling and her hand gripping yours tightly.

With a shaky hand you reached out to brush away a few tears that had fallen down her face, the salty substance blending out into her sunkissed skin. God she was stunning.

"Really?"

"Yeah..." she spoke, her words coming out a bit more slurry then intended due to her emotional state. Her striking blue eyes, sparkling and glistening like bubble water, pierced into yours. There was no point in denying that whatever you two had just admitted to each other, it'd changed something.

Would it ever be that you would never come back to this moment, atleast now you know that you had been here, right where you want to be. By her side, and that would always be enough.

She made you feel loved, hell, it was a miracle she was able to make you feel anything. It wasn't like you had never felt anything before, but you know how that saying goes.

'Abuse can feel like love, starving people will eat anything they're given'

That one sentence basically covered all your previous relationships, if it was even morally correct to use the term relationship. It was more of a hostage situation more often, whereas you had tried to leave so many times only to be met with a harder force each time.

Stina never made you feel like that, not in a million years could that girl have anything but absolute good intentions. She was too pure for this world, too kind for someone like you.

You didn't deserve her, you knew this, but you couldn't stay away from her.

She was simply, intoxicating.

This was supposed to be smut originally but I saved that for a thirs chapter as I feel like writing smut right after their confession and giving nothing else would just be werid. I'm really struggling and feeling insecure over my work right now, but trying to get over my fear of flawing in several areas. I have proof read this, and edited it fairly, I didn't want to polish it way to much or I feel like it would loose it depth.

Bare with me please! Slowly getting there, thanks for all the love you keep giving me although I keep giving you shit posts only!

[thecluelessdoctor]

Heyyy finn.

Question

We all know who your favorite GF character is, butttt- who is a second fav for you? Or one that lines up with stan

....

okay so you guys are gonna hate me for this one-

Basically everyone is REALLY close for me, so it really just depends on my mood (other than you Stan you'll always be at the top) but the ones that are most consistently in my brain rent free are uh.

Robbie and gideon.

YUP. THE TWO MOST ANNOYING CHARACTERS. LIVE IN MY BRAIN RENT FREE

I think post of us knew i already liked Robbie, I have a soft spot for angsty emo characters. He's also a DICK and it's FUNNY. Also I know I could destroy him in a fight so. Yk lmao.

Now. Gideon is... hard to explain lmao. I don't even know why but suddenly he just... clicked for me and he's been stuck there ever since.

He's a weird freakazoid and I kinda hate him. But also I am a firm believer that he's gay. He cannot be straight it's just. No. It's not possible he's not straight 💀.

But also I think I like Gideon so much is that he had potential to be a better explored character. Especially at the end where he had his very shoved in redemption arc it was .. meh. I wished they did something more with him, like how they did with pacifica.

I also think I kinda feel bad for him- i mean think about it. He's probably been alone for a damn long time (as i believe the tent of telepathy moves around). Bud is just- let's be so fr, bud is shitty, I'm Bud's number one hater. I mean in the episode where the twins go back in time to Soos' birthday, we see ads involving Gideon as a BABY. Bud has been profiting off his own kid for who knows how long, which I think is kinda why he just... let's gids do whatever the fuck he wants

Idk I'm yapping, and I'm probably reading way too into it but yeah.

Anywya

[maskdrawn]

Most cartoons now were shit, so it was going to be a struggle, maybe she’d learn to tune them out with time. “It’s fine, just tune them out on your phone.” Which he was able to do maybe thanks to her true crime addiction. “I do like a little scheming here and there.” She grinned, giving him a wink. “But you’re safe if that makes you feel any better.” It probably should, even if he didn’t know about her past. “It’s a nice name — but maybe not with the last name.” They just didn’t seem to be a good match. “I don’t suppose Calista is much better? Cali for short. All I know is it can’t start with a B too.” Having double-letter initials was not something Julie would allow to happen, but then again, she was over here trying for more unique-sounding names. “Yeah, well, maybe I wish you didn’t.” Another joke, and she nudged him lightly. Her lips pressed in a thin line. “I’m sorry but I don’t think we’ll be seeing your mistress, heat, anytime soon.” They could realistically be stuck there for days if Ava forgot they had been coming up here. “I mean — we have enough wood and there are dusty blankets in each of our rooms upstairs. I’m sure I can get you warm enough until someone comes looking for us. It's just gonna suck if you're sensitive to dust.”

it was for the best that they enjoyed all of the time they could while they still had just the two of them, rather than the four of them. their lives were going to change immensly and while it wasn't something that tanner was ready for, he also knew it was going to just being a learning process. ❝ we'll just have to get them into the good cartoons, not the shit ones, at least then we can enjoy the show. ❞ it made sense in his brain, at least for a moment as he tried to think about it. ❝ i think you're always planning something, even when you don't realize it. ❞ tanner joked, winking at her as she moved to the window, he was picking up their stuff when she spoke again, and he furrowed his brows. ❝ because it doesn't sound like a bank, or a fashion designer, either way you'd be setting her up with a life already. and everyone wears pants, i wear them every single day. ❞ but he knew that wasn't what she'd meant. ❝ an issue? ❞ he asked as he looked up to see what she was talking abouti. ❝ if you tell me that we've gotta stay the night here. i know you love it, but i love the heat, and this place is seriously lacking that. ❞ though by the look of it outside, they weren't getting out of here anytime soon either.

[ganondoodle]

so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-

but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again

(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)

i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)

weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward

but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.

right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)

[icewindandboringhorror]

Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb

[edwinisms]

I know how it sounds at first, but I really gotta feel bad for the boys that sacrificed edwin; I mean even the term “sacrificed edwin” paints them in a more sinister light than they really deserve– considering that wasn’t really, actually their intention.

they were bullies, they were homophobic (and/or were self loathing gay boys themselves taking it out on edwin, or were equally likely peer pressured into acting a certain way), they planned something stupid and mean to do to an innocent, anxious boy with the goal of scaring the shit out of him, all because he was effeminate and an easy target. but they didn’t know or expect any of the ritual stuff to be real. they were all laughing and joking during the ritual because it was just that to them– a joke. a cruel joke, but a joke.

teenagers can be mean and stupid and they usually regret it as adults and grow out of it / grow from it. they were stifled the chance to grow out of it, at least while alive. none of those boys deserved to be instakilled and sent to hell; they’re really not that much less deserving than edwin himself. they were all just kids, after all.