#most of the stuff i looked up was stuff about starseeds or whatever which is also apparnetly supposed to be 'the good nordic

[snekdood]

i think some of ya’ll under estimates the JQ’s ability to subtly infect people, esp when they’re not aware of the dogwhistles (most people) 

it starts innocently- you’re a kid or an adult unable to detect manipulation, you pick up a new interest, and then you watch some videos about it, you find a video that somehow suggests there’s a “hidden secret” going on, obviously intriguing, you go on to learn about those secrets. if you watched new age stuff like me, there were a lot of “secrets” about aliens, i thought the aliens were cool and wanted to learn more, but apparently the aliens too are connected to this weird government secret, i try to learn more and essentially leave w the impression i cant trust my govt for shit (but maybe the aliens would save me, and yes i considered all of them bc i didn’t wanna believe all the aliens were just genetically evil) and they probably have child sex rings or something (which is intuitively true to me bc the govt’s fucked and run by christians who would be likely to have child sex rings, given how many priests are pedophiles, and all the ritual stuff seemed like something a christian kkk member would do). that was the only information i had and that’s all i extracted from reading that stuff at 14, and all it did was give me paranoia. i never looked into things further, i never went to those weird forums, but the baseline is already there now. i was more focused on the whole *spirituality* thing in new age beliefs, and the aliens were cool to me and i often doubted if the bad ones were really all that bad. NONE of those websites at the time mentioned ANYTHING about jewish people, i’d also specifically avoid websites that mentioned god w an uppercase g bc i knew they were christians, and christians are my enemy in this, so i knew that christians were trying to co opt “the truth” and inject a different message that was more sinister so i’d avoid literally anything like that. im already a failed and bad candidate for nazis lol bc i failed to apparently digest the final bit that it’s supposed to be *jewish people*, i guess because i wasn’t a christian back then so i didn’t have a hate boner for other abrahamic religions that were different from mine. so i just never got that last bit- but you can see how easy it is to decent into-- and id argue a lot of new age spirituality is a gateway and an entrance to the alt right pipeline and to JQ conspiracy theories. maybe the spirit science guy wasn’t intending to demonize jewish people in his “history of the world” video, but the othering of them doesnt help, acting like they’re a separate alien species that’s just smarter and gooder still isn’t exactly a great narrative bc you’re still dehumanizing them. and im sure for ppl more inclined to believe jewish ppl are evil will digest the thought that jewish people are not human like everyone else and then take it further when they learn about the conspiracy theories. 

anyways, I think acting like everyone who’s fallen into these conspiracy theories or even new age beliefs “should have known better” or “probably knew but didn’t resist it” is pretty unfair when on the outside new age stuff seems pretty fuckin innocent and happy and fun and ✨magical✨ and how, at least back in 2012/2013/etc, hardly any of that stuff mentioned jewish people specifically as being the source of evil, you’re supposed to have some sort of belief before that that leads you to that conclusion and im reeaaalllly leaning on the idea that it’s just being christian and hating other abrahamic religions that are different. 

also to me the freemasons seemed like a cover up for/a nicer looking kkk back in the day when i believed crazy conspiracies, idk, but thats just me 🤷‍♂️ i’ve been pretty staunchly anti christian my whole life so ig that’s where my mind naturally went.

[crybabykiko]

I just came across you nsfw with Osamu and I really enjoyed it I was wondering if You could do one for Kita?

Hi love! This is for u 💕 and all the kita fuckers worldwide- myself included bc I’m in love with him now 🥺

NSFW Alphabet - Kita Shinsuke

Nsfw below da cut g

gn!reader focus in this hoe

A/n: ty @honey-makki for being my partner in degeneracy and my wife ilysm bc she can read when I can’t

𝕬 - 𝕬𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊

Will feed you a full meal. His way of making sure you’re cared for is keeping you well fed. He will cuddle you and spoon feed you himself if he has to, as long as you eat every single bite. He has a routine for everything, aftercare is no exception. He runs you a bath, then, while you soak, he cooks. Will make sure to throw a hoodie in the dryer before heading to the kitchen so it'll be warm for you post shower. Then he feeds you and holds you, playing with your hair or your hands until you fall asleep.

𝕭 - 𝕭𝖔𝖉𝖞 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙

You already know what the fuck is going onnnn! Kita is honestly so well sculpted that it really doesn’t matter but let’s talk about his back/shoulders. He’s so mf broad and it's very sexc of him. He’s also very fond of when you cling onto and scratch it up…. delicious

He loves your hands. He loves to hold them, especially when he’s looking straight into your eyes as he drills the hell out of you- he’ll lift one up and kiss it bc ✨romance✨

𝕮 - 𝕮𝖚𝖒

Oh he’s going to fill you so full of cum that it pours out of your ears. He has a big breeding kink, and huge loads to match. But he’s also very healthy and takes good care of himself so his cum isn’t bad on your tongue on the off chance he hasn’t already cum inside you 600 times prior to finally doing so in your mouth. And he’s going to kiss you after- very sexc of him.

𝕯 - 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕾𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙

Lost his virginity in a barn. Got a tick on his ass of all places. The barn isn’t the secret tho... the tick is.

𝕰 - 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊

When you got together- he was definitely a virgin. Had only gone as far as MAYBE second base. But you used that to your advantage, because you’ve essentially built him up and trained him to be PERFECT for you. You also helped him find out what he likes and what makes him feel good too. Sure there was a lil’ corruption involved, but in the end you’re both very happy with your sex life.

𝕱 - 𝕱𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Full on mf wrestling mating press. He’s going to have his cock so deep inside of you that if he even pushed a bit more his body is gonna go in too. Then he’ll just live there. He’s fine with that.

𝕲 - 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖋𝖞

Unintentionally so. Every once in a while, you’ll both giggle or laugh because you have to reposition when you start to cramp up or you accidentally hit him in the face when tying to pull him closer or something. But he’s a firm believer in the whole “if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with you shouldn’t have sex with them” addage, so he’s very grateful for those light moments.

𝕳 - 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖗

It could definitely be neater. He isn’t abysmal, but he is hairy and could stand to trim a tiiiny bit more often. He’s just very low maintenance down there. As long as it’s clean he's good, which is both true and a decent place to start but pls tell him to get a little off the top of you know what I mean.

𝕴 - 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖈y

He’s! So! Loving! He’s always going to go the extra mile to make you feel special. He likes to keep things on the softer side I’d say 8/10 times. He prefers to make love instead of just fucking it out- but if you get into an argument or he’s frustrated, he will happily go hard… but still with candles and a massage. Also I said it already but he’s gonna hold your hands while he demolishes you- interlaced fingers and all that cute shit even tho you’re getting railed.

𝕵 - 𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕺𝖋𝖋

His grandma is one of those old ladies that’s like “don’t do that you’ll go blind,” so poor baby was a lil pent up before he got older. Now, he still doesn't do it often, but he does it once a month or so as part of his routine. He uses coconut oil because he likes the smell and that it melts easily.

𝕶 - 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖐

Breeding, listen it’s just embedded in country boys to fuck and fill. He is no exception.

Spanking, moreso as a way to direct you. Moving too much? slap to stay still. Changing positions? Slap to get you moving. Just wants to see you jiggle? Yeah that too. Motivational slaps also come into play when he wants you to know you’re doing a good job.

Auralism, He LOVES to hear you. The sound of your breath, your moans, the way you chant his name when you’re close… he eats that shit up. It feeds his ego and boosts his pride. He also makes a lot of noise himself, mostly really deep moans but there’s a sprinkling of praise throughout too.

𝕷 - 𝕷𝖔𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He needs privacy. So he’s definitely one to want to keep it at home or at least somewhere secluded and away, where he knows only you and him are there and will know about it.

𝕸 - 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He doesn’t care how he does it, but his number one priority, is making sure that you cum. Kita is a giver. And he will make sure to give you whatever you want from him.

𝕹 - 𝕹𝖔!

He’s not into SUPER rough stuff. He’s not vanilla, but he is the kind of guy that sees sex as “lovemaking” so he’s not gonna punch you in the face or throw you around like a ragdoll. It’s just not his style. Of course if it's what you want, he will… but never expect him to ever bring it up or do so on his own.

𝕺 - 𝕺𝖗𝖆𝖑

Ok so- he's… teachable. I’m not gonna lie, he would start off as absolute trash. But the good thing about him is how adaptable he is, and how willing he is to learn. You’d have to have him work at it a lot but once he gets good he’s great. He’ll love the feeling of accomplishment he gets from you getting off with only his mouth- it does wonders for his pride.

𝕻 - 𝕻𝖆𝖈𝖊

It’s very even- until he starts to get close. When he’s close he’s going to speed up so much that you have to brace yourself against anything that’ll hold you. He is definitely a headboard grabber too.

𝕼 - 𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖊

He likes to take his time with you. For that reason, he isn’t a huge fan. You would really have to convince him that it's worth it. He doesn’t see the point in instant gratification, and thinks you should be patient. Good things come to those who wait and all that Kita stop being so stoic and rail me at the farmers market challenge

𝕽 - 𝕽𝖎𝖘𝖐

Lmfao you think this mans is really gonna go for a public or semi-public scene? Think again. Now, he’s into sex outdoors sure, but only in your fenced in, enclosed backyard. He’s not letting anyone see you point blank periodt, you’re for his eyes only.

𝕾 - 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖆

Excellent self control. He can hold off on cumming for as long as you need him to. Usually he’ll tap out himself after you’ve gotten through at least 3 of your own highs- but his record is 6. Has a super long refractory period tho- so he does things this way to make sure you get everything you need in one go.

𝕿 - 𝕿𝖔𝖞

He actually likes using toys on you. He has a bunch of different plugs and vibes that he uses to suit the situation. He prefers to use a hitachi wand on you while he’s fucking you, but all the others he uses for foreplay- or after to keep you full to the brim of his cum.

𝖀 - 𝖀𝖓𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗

You both tease each other absentmindedly. He doesn’t know why he gets so turned on by you scrubbing the floor on all fours (that’s why), but he does. He also doesn’t understand why you think its hot when he cuts firewood in winter or wipes his forehead with his shirt during the summer. He thinks he’s gross and sweaty- but you can only think of a million other ways to make him sweatier.

𝖁 - 𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖊

Listen we stan. He’s not quiet in bed by any means, but he’s not overly loud either. He’s the type who takes deep breaths and then on the exhale let’s out a moan from deep in his chest- you know the one. And he does that shit on purpose. Not really, but he does think of it as his way of letting you know that he feels as good as you feel. Will also 100% hit you with the “is that it baby? Is that the spot?” While you’re practically turning into jello underneath him bc he absolutely knows that’s the spot he just likes to make you say it.

𝖂 - 𝖂𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖉

Wants to recreate the sex scene from tthe notebook with you. He can’t explain why, he just has an unexplainable urge to suck your face off in the rain and then proceed to raw you after peeling all the damp clothes from your body. Please oblige him.

𝖃 - 𝖃-𝕽𝖆𝖞

He’s got the thickness. Not coke Can thickness but like… you remember the Alaskan bull worm from ep of SpongeBob? Well he’s the whole worm, not just the tongue. I’m going to hell for that reference but ya he has a nice dick. The perfect thickness and and I’ll say a pretty good 5.5-6 inches worth. It’s also very veiny on the underside which- yes I love that.

𝖄 - 𝖄𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌

Normal sex drive, since you tend to do it at least 2 times a week. He only seems to get a little needier when you CAN’T have sex regularly- ie, one of you is sick or you’re away from each other. When that happens, he’s a little edgier than usual, can snap sometimes but not often.

𝖅 - 𝖅𝖟𝖟

He’s the type to get a second wind after. He’ll only go to sleep after he makes sure all your aftercare needs are met, and even then, he’s only going to power-nap it for maybe 10mins. He’ll stay still and cuddle you while you sleep, but he’ll most likely watch tv or scroll through his phone while you enjoy his warmth. Every once in awhile he’ll give you a kiss while you stir.

Taglist Starseeds (check ur privacy settings if your url is in bold): @honey-makki @crushzone @yumekosgamblingroom @boujiesav @onesingleravioli @ushijimasfarmhat @trouvelle @nekoma-hoe @right-shoe-jpg @atsumusc0ck @nivky0-0 @animoozies @charmarsmith @tsumue @disasteren @hoe4abbacchio @sillykittt @ukaisbaby

[vyvesvi]

updated top albums list + recommended tracks from each bc im bored lol

*tentatively* in order

unnatural - wjsn | recommended songs: all of them (especially unnatural, supermoon, and yalla) except for rewind | skips: just rewind bc ballad /// im not sure what style to call this album but they really made such a smash, its crazy that it came out so early in the year and no gg is touching it (album wise). literally the only complaints i have are the obligatory ballad (that they always do bc they can all sing lmfao), the album cover/title (dont love the cover design and i dont love when the album name is the tt name, except in certain circumstances (a full album (especially where the title isnt necessarily from the title track) like montero) or when it's a single album (the inverse of this being rsq's prequel which couldve just been called colorfull since that was the only damn song 😐)). i also was disappointed with the outfits for last dance but that's peripheral.

timeabout, - yukika | recommended songs: insomnia & secret | skips: none /// okay to keep it very real im genuinely scared that she'll never surpass soul lady. i love, and i mean LOVE timeabout, but soul lady was on another plane of existence. like she could've held that album a little bit

the other side of the moon - gwsn | recommended songs: like it hot, starry night, i cant breathe | skips: i sing, depending on my mood /// i dont have much commentary tbh,this is just a very solid mini idk. id like to see a fusion of i cant breathe/tweaks/after the bloom/burn, maybe on their next mini. i love their brighter stuff but maybe a darker concept next (halloween cb pls pls pls)

montero - lil nas x | lowkey too soon for me to pick recommended songs but i'll say montero, scoop, lost in the citadel, sun goes down, and am i dreaming for now. will update! | skips: none /// i cant say that this is this year's sawayama bc sawayama was kinda more like a collection of really strong singles? whereas i feel like these songs shine as an album. i dont even know what to say except that im soooo surprised and impressed because i didnt know that this is the type of music he made???? like he raps but theres a lot of singing? not like belting but definitely not rapping. its kinda...alt ish? in some places? if i had to use ine genre to describe the whole album id probably say alt pop? idk but whatever it is it's definitely working

hide & seek - purple kiss | recommended songs: zombie & so why (tbh all of them) | 2am and zzzz depend on my mood but theyre def not full skips /// no bad song on the album this is crazy....i might rerank since i just listened to it for the first time but as of now idk, its good im just super impressed. ponzona wasnt for me but this cb theyre really doing all the things, lovr tht for them

produced by: [myself] - onlyoneof | recommended songs: coy & night flight | question mark depends on my mood /// im still mad at them (read: 8d) sooooo...idk. i can’t really listen to their music rn. but this mini is still good

play game: holiday - weeekly | recommended songs: check it out, weekend, holiday party | i like memories of summer rain and la luna but it depends on my mood /// very cohesive mini, def their best overall imo! not much to say, but i hope jiyoon gets well soon TTTT

enchant - orbit | recommended songs: gokurakuchouka & never gonna get away but also all of them except flor lunar | skips: flor lunar is nice but boring /// i need kpoppies to get into it im tired of being here alone cmon y’all

set - woodz | recommended songs: feel like | skips: none /// i prefer his bright tracks but this mini was solid as usual. where is the full album tho seungyoun hmmm????

guess who - itzy | recommended songs: sorry not sorry, tennis (0:0), kidding me | skips: in the morning, occasionally wild wild west /// i remember being very surprised that i liked this album, especially given that i dont like mitm. not anything groundbreaking but still solid. i think the naming of tennis (0:0) was really clever

intersection: trace - bae173 | recommended songs: green light, loved you | skips: none (sometimes the intro tho) /// honestly their music is really good??? mbk just hasn’t promoted them well, i feel like they make it a little hard to stan...i really appreciate that they’re not doing the stereotypical hard bg concept thing

lilac - iu | recommended songs: coin, flu, ah puh, troll | skips: honestly id have to relisten, some of the songs a lil boring but idr them at the moment

hello future - nct dream | recommended songs: hello future, life is still going on | skips: idr tbh, probably hot sauce though //// was very surprised that i liked this album, but the outro of hello future really got me after a few listens so i had to check it out. very decent!

killa - mirae | recommended songs: killa, sweet dreams, 1 thing | skips: none really but all of the bsides are a little mid tbh /// i will be 1000% honest in saying that the three reasons this allbum made this list are 1.) killa (the tt), 2.) none of the songs are bad, 3.) lien’s vocals. something about lien....he really just sells whatever song he’s on. his belting >>>>>>>>>>>. he makes their music very enjoyable to listen to, next in that department would be junhyuk. based on their most recent cb, siyoung and khael also contribute a lot as well. shame that the rest of the cb album kinda does nothing for me idk. random but i would really like a gg to cover higher and/or killa

& - loona | recommended songs: ur, ptt | skips: a different night, dance on my own /// these r my girls but this is not their best. ur is wonderful though, and ptt is addicting somehow. wow and be honest are fine but really not their best. i like wow’s choreo tho! 

albums im excited to listen to (no particular order):

last year was weird volume 3, tkay maidza (i’ve already listened to a bunch of it but i need to sit and just listen to the whole thing)

troubled paradise, slayyter (same as above, but i didn’t even realize it came out this year, i thought it was old for some reason lol)

jo1, challenger (every song of theirs i hear i like pretty much so i need to take an organized look at them lmfao)

jo1, stranger (same as above)

only lovers left, woodz (duhhh its woodz. not out yet but im excited! i do prefer his brighter concepts and this def isn’t that. he says its not gonna be like what he’s done before but the title and concept photo that’s out rn is giving lift up)

the book of us: negentropy - chaos swallowed up in love, day6 (the title kinda bored me but we’ll see. also sungjin’s gone so.....................we’ll see.)

ancient dreams in a modern land, marina (i barely got past venus fly trap because its soooooo good. i’ve listened to a little after that but the songs i heard didn’t really compare. i have to give it a shot tho)

the chaos chapter: fight or escape, txt (i liked the blue hour mini so i need to give them a chance i suppose)

333, tinashe (i just feel like i should idk)

honorable mentions (no particular order):

blue hour, txt - discovered this year, came out last year. retroactively makes the 2020 albums list bc whew the market research that went into that thing paid off

hula hoop/ starseed ~kakusei~, loona (why tf does the album not have a name) - duhhh loona + synths = a smash. in fact like i said when it dropped i dont even wanna call them loona anymore. this is kongetsu no shoujo!!! this isn’t on my top albums list because im counting as two songs and my limit is 3. i might add it anyways lmfao. we’ll see

ugly beauty, jolin tsai - discovered this year, came out in 2018. i just really like jolin tsai idk. i had only heard that album w play and i’m not yours, both are iconic but the production quality sounds...low? like its older but ik they’re not *that* old. either way, ugly beauty does everything i wanted it to - dramatic, vocals, rapping, boa vibes...jolin tsai is a queen what can i say

also, there are of course a ton of singles that i love as well, this is albums only though lmfao. i have no idea if i could even attempt to organize the singles lol

[flameontheotherside]

My Own Ascension & The End

It’s my understanding that everyone's is different. I don’t take the lists people make seriously. They do have SOME merit but not real particular order. It’s kind of a waste of time to worry about it IMO.

I’ve always been kind of intuitive like from the time I was aware. Seen and talked to dead people and see deceased animals like my mom’s dead dog. That was the last time I think I saw plain as day. Seeing them creeps me out. It still creeps me out and I DON’T want it back. God can keep it. Nuh-uh, no thanks, bye!

My skepticism change over time.

I’ve spoken to psychics kind of obsessed with why I felt the need to find this “person” and why did it feel urgency. The urgency had gone away when Erik died. It was later that everything each psychic said to me was pretty true from meeting him by a body of water (in my dreams he was associated with water), that I had some kind of connection with some kind of “love sector” (Yeah WTF is right), I specifically asked about this person who I called my “long-distance boyfriend”.  That the one I was looking for was going to leave and there was nothing that could be done about it. This was around the summer right before his death. I crawled into my closet and cried my eyes out. I just knew it was him. That I also failed to find him. That my life was over and I literally felt like dying. What was I living for? Like what’s the point?

After his death I felt my life was over.

The urgency I felt to find him had gone away. Since I just turned 20, I’d been sneaking alcohol and getting shitfaced at karaoke bars and house parties. I just wanted to forget about him! I covered up my pain with wise-cracks, un-serious relationships, being a drama queen, doing things I should have gotten arrested for, and getting high. I didn’t care if I lived. Even while medicated, I just didn’t care. I picked up a few “boyfriends” and I felt nothing. I only did it because I was starting to see my friends dwindle away one by one with families of their own. So to forget about the pain, I tried to have serious relationships. I became in denial that Erik was dead. Like the clock had long since stopped ticking. I became a wreaking time ball. I realized these men were just mistakes. I didn’t really love him because somehow I loved that thing which followed me around and I did feel him with me for real. I just was afraid to find out. 

My experience didn’t begin to accelerate until Erik died. 

I remember laying down and being freaked out seeing my chakras open up. I felt and saw each one. I wasn’t very educated on chakras. When it became too much, I ran out of my room like a bat out of hell or I wasn't really educated any of the stuff. But I knew a little. Since then I had repetitive dreams seeing him exactly as he was. Again, only I didn’t know it was him until much later. The same dream of being at some kind of pool party, beach, lake or whatever. I was with friends I never seen before I only found out where my friends from “home”. It was always fun but sometimes the water was murky, shallow or deep. It’s symbolism on my spirituality. I was teetering on and off “the path” since the dreams because. The water had much to do with where I was in life. If I was miserable, it was shallow and murky, murky, or just shallow...You get the idea. The water got deeper I got close to meeting Erik. I remember being told to get in a few times. I also remember when I was about 12-13 I was afraid of deep water because I almost drowned. But I had a dream that an Angel had been with me at a friends house. I was instructed to just jump and I did. Since I survived I loved deep diving. Fun as shit. Not sure if it has much to do with it. I’m hearing a no but I’m including it anyway.

Lemme give you the process...

Around ‘12-ish I bought a pendulum with the idea of using it like I do now. Things took a turn for the worst soon after I bought it. It broke and I didn’t have time or energy to try it anyway. Not until a couple years later at a better time in my life. My apartments were haunted and that’s when I got the sense someone was following but it wasn’t bothersome. Most of the time it was comforting. I did feel him around at the home I grew up in but it wasn’t as prevalent. The dreams were still happening. In ‘13-ish I had the dream I wrote about visiting home in The Realms and Erik bombarded me about my spiritual journey and how I didn’t want anything to do with it. It’s still vivid in my mind like a memory. I really fought over how I didn’t want to incarnate. This was as my higher-self. I looked different and felt different. Now I do see her as my higher self the same as in the dream. Trippy.

Fast forward to ‘16...

Times were hard. I lost my job and the money I was making. It wasn’t really a good job anyway. I realize while on my medications, I was able to connect better. As in my intuition was better understood because they kept me calm and centered. But that wasn’t realized until I was back on meds and able to look back at the times I was medication. I also realized that if my “abilities” to be intuitive went away while off my meds, it might be alarming. But it was impossible to sit still or concentrate long enough to give a shit off of them! So anyway, shortly before I got on my meds I had a dream about Erik. But I started my meds again and noticed the dreams coming it more and more. 

Early ‘17 I asked God to have my abilities back feeling that there was something I needed to do. Like I have a real purpose and it had something to do with my abilities that have taken a temporary backseat. Did some researching to find out what I can do to have my abilities back and got back in to reading my cards regularly. I saw a movie I’ve seen so many times basically about TFs (In Your Eyes) and thought how cool it would be. Ironically it would my experience with Erik in some kind of way but generally the same. Only he’s dead...

It got intense in spring/Summer ‘17.

Over an argument with my ex, he got me baker-acted. I didn’t know Erik was my TF yet. I remember how cool it would be to talk to him while in there. Two years later, this year, while in the hospital I learned I really could talk to him without my pendulum. It’s kind of cute I made a pendulum board “On The Go!” LMAO by drawing one and taking a picture of it so that in the case I can’t concentrate, I can whip out my penny and dangle that shit above my phone. Just for some clarification. I don’t do it all the time. It’s just sometimes I’m not too confident with discernment without my board and I’m not allowed back in the shelter dorms until 4pm *rolls eyes*. 

Okay, we are getting side-tracked!

Learning a skill.

At first, I was watching a lot of paranormal shit and depressed finally tough enough to look for proof as to why I was having this “thing” following me. No matter how comforting it was, it did cause somethings to happen around no matter where I lived and of course only me and maaaaaaybe a few witnessed it. Annoying. I collected pendulums from Ebay and wore them just for shits and giggles. Mostly shits. Ew that’s gross. Anyway so I watched some paranormal shit and remembered,

Hey, I still have my pendulums and a pile of crystals hanging around the “alter” in the headboard behind the mattress!...And a chain!

Reminds me of that Fleetwood Mac song. Kind of accurate. After firing up some sage in my condo --Really! The damn thing nearly caught fire and I’m sure with winds open I was some kind of witch which at the time didn’t necessarily believe in. Pagans and Wiccans were bullshit to me. Even to some level psychics too! How ironic that NOW I happen to be one of those nut-jobs. Go figure. I did my opening and closing rituals to make sure “the door” was closed. I ALWAYS held the intention to be speaking with Erik and much later my grandmother and God would be an important role.

We continued as above pretty much for a while. Using my pendulum was easier, I was able to predict the next letter, then the next word. We really played tug-o-war. I tried to pull the penny to a different letter and he would move it to spell, “Stop doing that!”. LMFAO it was HILARIOUS!!!!! But that’s how I really knew for sure for sure this was for real for real!

Learning about “home”.

It was eye-opening because I remembered the dream I had years ago about returning home. Erik bombarded me with the task about doing what I came to earth to do. Something about his role as well. It didn't know Erik at the time but intuitively I knew that I knew him. There was a familiar-ness . The same I got from in him; the beach and pool parties. In the realms are pools. What I call pools of mana. In video games especially in MMOs there is Mana used to boost up your Magic (sometimes spirit or intellect) Points or MP. 

Out of the blue he called me by a different name, “Vanessa”. Then I remembered asking him what my spirit name was a while back. He had told me “nessa”. To me it sounded like Nestle Tollhouse or some shit like I wasn’t really ready for. Well I was kind of shocked because I told him to call her butt-uh (inside joke) so I put both together and asked about her or my role is back home. Turns out I’m part of some counseling group from the realm of Love. OOOOOoooOOoooooo! Oh my my my! lmao So any way I had not only my past lives to pound out, but also I needed to find out more about the realms and my role as what I call a “Galactic Guardian” or Starseed (see tag below)

Anyway, So we continued the healing process starting with our past lives. We had three of them and we literally looked at all three and healed them. It’s like going to the therapist and laying down and shit. Only because I actually go in to hypnotic state and see these events happening. We pick apart all of the difficult situations in each relationship as bother and sister, husband and wife, and gay lovers. *In Kevin Hart voice* Bing bang boom. Very intense all together. Very much like therapy. Erik goes all sort of sarcastically, 

“...And how does that make you feel?” 

With a notepad in one hand and a pen in another!  He always finds a way to crack me up. He’s my own personal comic relief. Sometimes it’s funny and sometimes he just goes to far. Well so do I. Guess it’s some sort of “karma” everyone talks about. *rolls eyes* Whatever.

2018 is all kind of a blurr and I met “God”

Things really didn’t kickoff until summer/fall. Now, I was at a point I wasn’t using my note pad anymore to keep track of our conversations. They were sort of stored in this crazy blob in my unsightly skull. We were still covering our past lives and when it ended, it was time to meet “God”. It really happened when I wanted to know that oracle cards Doreen Virtue had to add to my collection. I only found out she turned away from this kind of spiritual stuff toward (for lack of a better term in my ignorance) being a “Jesus Freak” and there’s absolutely nothing with it. Being that I looked up to her, it brought me back down to earth. In-spite of the safely precautions and measures before each session, was I consorting with demons? I’m I wrong? Is Erik a Demon? I started to feel my chest tighten and it was getting harder to breathe. I felt like I was going to have a heat attack and immediately closed the Chrome window starting at me dead in the face. 

I’ve met Angels Raphael and Micheal..Oh and my Guardian Angel, Josana. Both Archangels are just described. Micheal (means God-like) is a lot like but God “LITE”. A watered down level of God (Sorry Mike)! Raphael is like a physician you see for your check ups. He gives me dietary advice and encourages me to keep my health. Literally while having a panic attack, he measured my heart-rate and assured me that there was nothing wrong. It’s like Raph gives me the veggies and Mike leans over behind me making sure I eat everything on my plate. They are no different than getting their help or advice through angel oracle cards made by Doreen Virtue. It’s funny because i can recall a oracle card that almost matches what they really say to me. Creepy right?

“Yes this is your heavenly father, Jehova.”

OK. Everyone has a name for “God” because of my religious background growing up as a Jehova’s Whitness. Everyone has their own idea or name for “source”. Meeting God wasn’t on the top of my list because I was afraid. I had not been a “good christian” and I’ve fell off the path long ago. In my selfish mind I thought if there was a God I wouldn’t suffer the way I have my whole life. I’ve been through what everyone goes through. But in my mind, my life was enough to make some people want to die. Erik found how much I suffered realizing how the way he left was trivial. If it had to be between us to be put out of their misery, it should have been ME! But I couldn’t no matter how much pain I was in, I couldn't do it. I was afraid of going to Hell. Even though I didn’t really believe in God I always thought with my luck, God or not, my ass is going to burn forever in fire and brimstone. Then out of curiosity i wanted to know demons too. If Angels and benevolents exist there must be demons. Well I did meet them. If you remember, I’ve met these assholes and sent them away. Now that I know the difference I feel free-er and well educated.

God was right there IN MY FUCKING CONDO...

Immediately I was scared as shit like that moment you know you’ve done something back and you are hiding in the closet, except I was basically frozen on my futon. It felt like that. God is very much like Fem and Masc energy together so obviously this means he doesn’t have a Twin Flame. So he can be that honest-god (Hahahah) honest father that tell you like it is without sugar-coating it. I mean he literally in my hissy-fit over something stupid, he said I was, “Acting like a child and it’s time I have patience or I can forget about the things he’s got in store for me.” By the way he really did come through! There were moments I asked for things and they happened! A new bag, art supplies, new pillow, a hat. Some I got EXACTLY how I wanted them! I’ll never forget it. Law of Attraction IS REAL and it’s like God gives it to you like Oprah gives out prizes! 

God forgave me of course and basically I have a good heart. It’s apparent to him how honest I was. He assured me everything leading up to then was genuine. He encouraged me to re-read the bible as much as I can. I’ve got a children's version of it over and over. The book of Enoch, Ester --both not in the bible, and Job are my faves. For some reason that version is the best way I can understand especially with the pictures. I hate when Christians tell he how I need to read the bible. Like leave me alone. At least I’m reading or listening to it. Seriously sometimes I can’t have conversations without someone taking out their bible and tell me how to read it. When I say I really can’t just sit there all day trying to read AND interpret it, I’m doing so the best way I can. It means I can’t do it. I do it in my own way and that’s all that matters to God. I understand what I understand and HOW I understand it. Like the documentaries about the bible and it’s archaeological proof that events really happened. The great food is a big one. That was the one documentary that got me thinking twice about being an Atheist. Now, I consider myself a Gnostic Theist considering everything I have learned about The Realms (not exactly spirit realms) and where I and SOME of my friends are from. Otherwise I’d have to be Gnostic.

As my pendulum swung, so did my head. 

In every other word I was able to “hear” them. He would let me know by going “ding!”. It was alarming (no pun intended) to figure out all of a sudden I knew what he was say as every other word kind of appeared in my head. I remembered this was part of my own ascension. We had merged and everything was happening so fast. So by the end of ‘18 I was literally beginning to hear him just by listening to the frequency of 110hz playing in my speakers. Then I started to hear him when there ever was a steady beat like in footsteps, the sound of rain, when I was washing a plate, every sylable was like:

It’s--Oh--Kay--I--M--Not--Go--ing--to--hur--t--you!

I was talking to myself and I heard him! I freaked out. As in I really thought I was going insane. It didn’t want it. I kept saying to him that I wasn’t ready! I got over my fear and before you know it, I’m having conversations with him while watching a Netflix and YouTube! It was like I had him in my headset. We had the kind of long-distance relationship I seeked before he died. Once, I forgot he was dead. When it sunk in again, It had me by the ovaries and I dare say I fell apart because I wished he was alive. By ‘19 without my pendulum I can hear him in my right ear. When he’s yelling, the sound carries over to my left side. It really feels like someone is screaming in your ear in a concert hall. You can imagine the kind of psycho-happy he was when I could finally hear him! We even sing together!

But then I couldn’t get him to STFU! At first it was creepy, then cool, then I’m being tested on my ability to shut him off! Since we merged and God married us, everything was so fast it was hard to keep up. So overwhelmed, God and my Granny would visit to encourage me to move forward and that I’m not doing anything wrong. Through the hard times happening between Vince and I they stood by me always. Erik and I communicate as though time wasn’t even a thing. We are two-peas-in-a-pod! He’s my Twin Flame, Spirit Guide, best friend and my “spirit spouse”. 

Erik said that in my ascension the last step is being able to see him.

 I long since said I didn’t want to. It was hard and painful (That’s what she said!) to know he’s dead. Well he forced me to by sending in dude that kind of resembled him up until we got to Dean Winchester. I was like:

“Ummmm, errrrrr, no, sorry but no way man. You have to be joking. You are a far cry from him. I just don’t see it!”

So of course he wouldn’t shut up because of course he was going to annoy me AGAIN by embarrassing myself around dudes. Oh god I’ll never really forget the first time I nearly died. I wasn’t ready. I looked like I had just crawled out of bed! Why of why hadn’t I been given notice. My third-eye would pop-off when he was getting my attention. Sure enough I look up and hide behind Vince gasping for air. Not quite a dopple-ganger but good enough to freak me out. He wanted me to make that correction as he’s kind of hovering over my shoulder as he always does.

Anyway *rolls eyes* So i watched a few to find, wow I guess he’s right especial the parts he loves his car, music like Metallica, ACDC, ect...Oh yeah and how he thinks he’s “adorable”. Well I don’t think he’s adorable....I’M ADORABLE, BITCH! There can only be MEEEEEE! But he makes a point there. Being we are Twin Flames that makes us both adorable. Sure, whatevs. I learned to gather up my ovaries and said, “fuck it”, I’ve seen and heard what he wanted me to and admitted yeah, sure, I give up, he wins. As always he gets what he wants. He’s totally salty I said that. No, he’s not a dick. He’s a pansy. He’s threatening to hit me with a wrench. Too bad he can’t do it for real but then again I can’t really bonk him on the head either. I get more satisfaction with physical contact...Oh god, ”That’s what she said!”. He’s a slick dick all talk and no action. 

I really feel like this hole experience makes a good story and a good lesson in  persistence, patience, and spiritual growth. It’s surprising to me that like on all “hobbies” I’m able to follow through on this journey as long as I have. The things that kept me doing this is the love and support from my friends here, Erik, Granny and God. Literally I asked for this and it’s like “Be careful of what you ask for” kind of thing except Twin Flames wasn’t in my vocabulary. The dreams and incidences that occurred leading me to him all were for a reason no matter how painful and torturous they were. I’ve never cried so much but I’ve never healed so much. This is like spiritual boot camp. My guides break my down to lift me up. I’m coming out of this process a stronger than before. I have to really thank my guides for all the things they put me through.

My own kind of ascension might be over now that I can see, hear, and even feel Erik. At least what he called our ascension process. It is to my understanding like our own individual spiritual journey, our own ascension process is different too. This is not a one size fits all gig. There is no right or wrong way. To bark around with, no this is this or that is that ( I’m guilty of it too...) is kind of silly if we are all individual and unique being on earth! It feel cool but as I’ve said before, just because this processed ended doesn’t mean our story or whatever we have is over. We both still have much to discover and share in our day to day life.

For those who have followed me through this,

Again, Thank you all!

[starcrystal-healing]

Would you mind talking more about being a starseed? That is if you’re comfortable. I feel im a starseed as well just don’t know the details yet

   Hello! Sorry for taking so long getting to your question. I am a pretty secretive person but I will try to share what I can. Firstly I rarely tell anyone whether or not they are starseed (or otherkin, or anything else of that nature) because it can just be so complicated. The truth is that some of the people attracted to the idea of being a starseed feel that they are different from the rest of humanity. This could be for many reasons - abuse, trauma, psychological issues, or just plain wanting to feel different. A big dose of discernment is needed when diving into these topics. So, long story short: discernment + keep in mind not everything and everyone labeled starseed and/or extraterrestrial related really is.

   With that said, there are a ton of different definitions for someone being a starseed. A common one is that anyone with a past life as an exterrestrial is a starseed. I don’t agree with this because there are many people who have had lives in other places and they are still not starseeded. Another thing ive seen are starseed “quizzes” usually with questions like “Did you spend a lot of time looking at the sky when you were 5 years old?”  “Do you feel like an old soul?” Not a very good quiz. Another thing is starseed markings or the belief that if you are starseeded, you will have certain things going on in your astrological chart. I am personally unsure of this.

I will share a piece of this pic I made that is going to be included in my long-abandoned ahem I mean still in progress class on ascension and starseed stuff to explain what I believe a bit.

    So inside of this lovely red circle i made in ms paint there are a few names with arrows between them. You can think of this like a family tree. First, things start at source consciousness (or God, whatever you want to call it) and things branch out to an oversoul. Think of an oversoul like a large tree. Branches come off of the tree and each branch is different. The branch on the left goes to HS which means higher self. The higher self is like the governing authority of the persons individual soul and also contains the persons original blueprint/purpose here. Under the left higher self you have an ET, and this ET decided to branch off and create another Higher self to form a human being, which is alessandra on the left side. This is just one way of how things can go but to sum it up the process of being a starseed or becoming starseeded is this: ET being (who is capable of doing this) decides they want to experience/give birth to another life while still being incarnate as themselves, so they project their consciousness to be able to create a human being (or something else for that matter). So to me, being a starseed is less about your level of interest in aliens or what your past life was, but rather the structure of your soul. It is like an extraterrestrial planting a seed here on earth. There are a ton of other ways for this to happen but this is just one teeny oversimplified example.

   People are starseeds for different reasons. My personal bloodline (from humans/earth and otherwise) is very deliberate and helping me do what I am here to do. My personal experience being a starseed has been interesting. A few years after my spiritual awakening had happened and I realized that my psychic abilities were here to stay and I had semi-accepted they were here to stay, I still had questions. I had been seeing and communicating with different beings for years but some of the beings were.. Different. Some of the things happening, some of the places I would go to during dreamtime, some of the experiences I was having just felt strange. I mean, there were already strange things going on, but there were strange things and then there were stranger than strange things. Now that I think about it, I do not remember where I ever heard the term starseed from first. But I just did some digging online & a shit ton of meditating and that is basically how I found out what I need to know. Meditation was very frustrating for me at first but later on I started getting information. I was also super into kundalini yoga at the time and I would dedicate a few hours a day to that.  I was pretty young when this was going on, I didn’t even have a job back then so I would just spend hours reading about starseed stuff or watching videos on youtube since I had the time. Most of the stuff I found was either total trash or semi-trash with some nice stuff mixed in here and there. DISCERNMENT

    One of the things that happened to me a lot as I got older was channeling. I would have different beings in my body (not literally, just a small portion of their energy) that I knew were ETs because I recognized their energy. I would get a lot of information. I would have a lot of dreams as well, or in my out of body experiences I would be with them. I would sit to meditate and then all of a sudden I was somewhere else with someone teaching me energy healing at such a high level I couldn’t understand it. I never consciously wanted any of this to happen to me, and at times it was extremely overwhelming. To someone energetically sensitive the energy of these beings can hard to be around. This was all years ago and now everything is so calm related to before. If things had not gotten way too intense I just would have tried to ignore it but it was just way  too much to explain away as coincidence. I always go back and forth between wanting to have super intense experiences and not wanting to have them. I actually asked my guides to leave me alone unless its important lol im super rude. But If i am trying to live my everyday life or doing crystal healing on a client I can’t focus on them when there is an ET party going on in the corner of the room.. Just no. I feel like extraterrestrials pick the STRANGEST ways to communicate with me especially compared to other beings.

I feel like this was just a big uninteresting ramble but I hope it helps you in some way!! You can always ask more questions if you need to.

[vegalocity]

I hereby ask the reasoning behind Minako Aino and Shiro being a good couple.

….....

Let the record show I warned you people

Okay -cracks knuckles- Let's do this.

General speculation as to why Sailor Moon and Voltron could exist in the same universe and why Sailor Venus and Shiro would make a p. good couple

An essay by Vega

So first off, I need to go on a brief tangent in defense of MinakoAino, else this won't make sense.

Despite being the most developed character out of the four inners,Minako has a tendancy to get the short end of the stick as far asfans are concerned. She's always either 'knockoff brand Usagi' or'bimbo' people look at PGSM's Minako as some kind of strange anomaly,but in truth, she's exactly like Minako, if Minako had to be inLeader Mode all the time.

Minako is a deep character with a lot of facets to her, Ipersonally like to divide them as 'Mina' and 'Venus', makes thingseasier, ya know? Now, neither of these persona's are more 'real' thanthe other. The both of them are as Minako Aino as they can get. ButMinako, for all intents and purposes, is a master ofcompartmentalization. Mina is the bubbly persona that people know heras. The excitable Idol crazy dweeb that at times has the same idea asUsagi to the point where they might do the exact same thing in a'drift compatible' kinda way. Venus on the other hand, is the leader,the Senshi, the one that was born the day she first became V,culminating in killing a boy she had a crush on, because heapparently wasn't human. Venus is the one whose learned how to kill aman ten times before he hits the ground, the one who has everyone'sattacks and just what they can and can't do memorized. Venus is theleader of the senshi (that the Manga overtly stated but the Anime forthe most part ignored until like... that time Minako and Pluto wereon that solo mission)

Granted Takeuchi's thing for Viscera, Minako's been exposed to themost fucked up shit of everyone here (except perhaps Pluto and thecats) She kinda NEEDS the Venus Persona to press everything onto soMina won't be weighed down. She's clearly a master of analyzingsituations too, how often in the series has she adapted the fastestout of everyone? Pluto was right, the Outers don't really have aleader, so Minako was gonna be the one to unite them all if she wenton without her.

But this post isn't about me defending Minako Aino until I'm bluein the face so we'll cut that thread off right there. You guys knowwhere I stand on Sailor Venus, and that'll make the rest of this alot easier to follow.

So for timeline purpouses, long before Voltron existed as the reincarnation it is, I’ve seen the Silver Millenium as falling a solid 10,000 years ago, bc the popular thousand years ago is still long within written records and people would have fucking noticed a kingdom refferred to as a Golden Kingdom getting wiped off the fucking map in 900 CE. It would have needed to exist before written language so when the moon kingdom fell the Golden Kingdom could get wiped off the map as well in Metallia’s wake.

Which Ironically, also places it around the same time as the Fall of Altea. And in the ten decapheebs since Altea’s fal the Galra empire has run rampant, much like how in the time after the silver millennium, nothing happened in this solar system as Galaxia began to build her collection of Sailor Crystals

So, timeline makes sense, thanks to the Galra empire for being so well removed from Earth.

There are many different kinds of energy and magic inthe world, Sailor Moon as a show did shit like that a lot (usually intheir beach episodes) While Voltron...not as much. However, it'spretty easy to combine the two. The Sailor Moon Fandom has longtheorized just what 'energy' the dark kingdom harvests really is, and if ithas any stance in powering the various magical items of the series,more intently, if it powers the Starseeds. However in Voltron,there's only one specific form of energy, quintessence. Quintessenceis something that exists in people to an extent, but also exists incertain mythic things such as Voltron, and entire planets have hugefucking landmines of the stuff. Sounds like something that could pretty easily power Starseeds.

Huh, the world of Voltron could really use some Sailor Senshi,almost like there was someone right before the Galra came thatsystemically stole the Sailor Senshi from every planet they drewnear, taking their Starseeds for themselves and leaving no place forthe people's energy, or rather, quintessence to go besides into the planet itself.

But that would be crazy, it's not like there's a villain in SailorMoon who specifically boasted her adeptness at collecting everySailor Crystal save for the few in a backwater area of the Milky wayshe'd otherwise ignored at that point

….oh yeah. Her. And isn't it also implied that the Sailor Warwas a time before the Silver Millenium? Also placing Galaxia as oldas fucking Zarkon? Half of the planets in the Voltron world arefalling apart at the seams, similar to how the Starlights describedKinmoku after their princess fled from Galaxia.

It really wouldn't be out there at all to say Galaxia and Zarkonhave a sort of treaty, where Galaxia clears through all the planetsyet to be taken over, destroys their Senshi and takes their Starseedsfor her own ends, handycapping their government and overall weakeningtheir defenses, then the Galra Empire comes in to reap whatever'sleft.

Then Galaxia couldn't get past the senshi for Earth. The Galrahowever weren't all that interested in this solar system, they'd justbeen tracking down where they thought the Blue Lion was.

But hey, this was the place Sailor Galaxia cleared out a couple ofpheebs ago, right? It should be easy to take the Blue Lion! Hey,where has Sailor Galaxia been lately? We haven't seen her AnimamateCouriers in a while... oh well! She must be busy, I hear she's headedfor the Starseed Cauldron next.

Too bad the Galra were only in the system for a scarce minutebefore blue took them off planet, else the Outers would have giventhem a goddamn invitation to fuck off.

So that's the way it works on a universal scale, but what about apersonal scale?

I actually have a couple of stories behind why they could firstinteract, but the fact is that that's not really what matters,crossovers can happen with any number of handwaves. 

Here's what does matter, they'd first meet on professional terms.Whether it's Minako getting marooned in deep space with no way tocontact the girls, or Shiro Post-Voltron (both assuming and hoping hedoesn't die for some reason) coming back to Earth for the Paladins tomeet Earth's Magical Guardians finally.Let’s go with ‘Breif Voltron Sabbatical to Earth for Voltron Coalition things’

Most fans like to think that Shiro's actually rather in touch withhis heritage, some people even saying before the Garrison he grew upin Japan. So it wouldn't be a stretch to say he was well aware of theSailor Senshi, maybe even a fan. Either way he'd have done hisresearch first. Everything that needed knowing about these peoplebefore they talk of the Voltron Coalition has been looked over twice.

And Venus is both everything and nothing like the reports say. Thereports on her in specific had always put her as the true leader ofthe Senshi, not Sailor Moon. So it was decided that while Allura andKeith discussed the more general terms of the coalition with SailorMoon, Shiro would get down to the nitty gritty with Venus.

She'd been described as anything from a bubbly attention starvedglory hound, all the way to a dead serious soldier who could easilyslit a man's throat without a second thought. And in some weird way,as Shiro talks with her, it becomes evident that those are notmutually exclusive things. An idea that Shiro is familiar with by now(clip to Lance flirting with Sailor Jupiter)

Either way granted the nature of either of their jobs they'd firstestablish a professional relationship, Something I personally findreally necessary. See there's this whole thing with Shiro, both inthe fandom and by the characters, where he's got this almost...untouchable feeling. Shiro is always right, and when he's wrong it'sthe whole point of the fic.

And the thing is, with Minako, she's the second most opinionatedperson in the entirety of Sailor Moon, Second only to Rei. Ifsomething is bullshit, or she doesn't agree with a strategy, she'sgonna immediately say so. And honestly? That seems to be the waythey're going with Keith already, but since Keith is so reluctant indoing so, I feel like Minako, someone whose been leader from momentfucking one, would be a pretty good thing for him. Keith tends toclash with Shiro only when things get hard, only when he has to, yaknow? Minako would do it basically every time.

She's someone that would by nature make Shiro think more deeplyabout his decisions, call out his bias', and overall challenge him.

They'd need to work together, and Minako's willing to work withhim, but he needs to work with her too. They're two leaders with onlysometimes complimentary views. I can already imagine Usagi talkingabout being uncomfortable with just straight blowing up some Galraship with conscious beings on it, and while Shiro's insisting thatthey're at war, they have to, Minako just folds her arms, thinks fora moment, and then makes a plan of how to spare the lives on the shipwhile taking them out as a threat.

And then the more messed up parts. Minako killed a man when shewas thirteen. She fucking obliterated him with only a paltry comfortof him 'not really being human'. But he was to her. When Minako wasfighting alone there was a lot of murder. The beings she foughtdidn't turn into monsters before she struck them down. There's areason she's all too willing to take Usagi's generally softer sidewhen she joins the team.

There's a lot of shit that Minako never really dealt with, and youcan see that in everything from mercilessly killing Queen Berylherself, all the way to being the one everyone could see stillfighting after being the last one standing.

Shiro was lost in space for a year he still doesn't fullyremember, he was tortured and experimented on, he was tormented withpossibly killing a bloody pantheon in his wake, earning himself thetitle of 'champion'. He only god a single day to rest from it, beforebeing thrown headfirst into a war. His only comfort in said war, hisbond with Black, immediately being thrown into question not only byZarkon's lingering bond but also by Keith piloting her so easily.Possibly being off on some stray planet or astral plane somewherewhile a clone takes his place and slowly fractures Voltron from theinside, using the way people seem to blindly follow him to drive awedge between everyone and the few people that did question him.

They both need people to talk to about this, but Minako's afucking martyr and would never ask that of any of her girls (savingmaybe Artemis, but granted he was the one to drag her into this life,she probably wouldn't talk to him about it) And Shiro's so precededby the leader title and in Keith's case the big brother title andprobably feels like he can't talk to anybody about his issues. Istill find it interesting how his issued with worthiness and beingafraid of turning into a monster were addressed in Crystal Venom sospecifically, yet never given any screentime addressing it afterward.

They both need someone who they can see as an equal and feel asthough they wouldn't be burdening them with their problems. Minakohas enough that once she saw through Shiro's crap she could easilyget that idea out of his head, and Shiro would probably vow to do thesame for her when she needs it.

They'd be pretty good confidants for each other in this regard.

Minako's unabashed sense of self and mastery of self love would besomething that she'd be relentless in trying to teach Shiro. There'snothing wrong with letting your team members know you can be silly,they already respect you, something like that would just remind themyou're human.

It would be hard to look at Shiro allowing himself to be silly ona more regular basis as anything but a step forward. And while itwould be more difficult to spot for anyone else, Artemis has longsince noticed the new lightness in Minako's step.

And when Voltron has to leave the Solar system again, Artemispresented the Paladins with their own communicators to link to the Senshi. Artemis claimed it was for the sake of morale, Pidge Hunk andLance had families that had missed the hell out of them, and thiswould make the distance far less wide. Luna claimed it was so shecould coach Allura in handling her burgoning Senshi abilities. ThePink Paladin being the first Sailor Senshi to return to the worldoutside the milky way would be quite the symbol to the peoples whohad to watch their worlds crumble without their Senshi. Sailor Alteawill make her debut in a matter of time, but she had the advantage ofnot needing to learn on the job. Shiro's is synced up with Minako'sto leave messages if not available.

Long distance relationships aren't the easiest, but Minako Aino isnothing if not determined. And after a long mission, it's nothing ifnot a balm on Shiro's nerves to see the orange button flashing,promising anything from a mundane story about playing espionage andsneaking Usagi into her boyfriend's classroom without the professornoticing all the way to an epic yet victorious battle he could seethe results of smeared along his girlfriend's cheeks.

Tl;Dr they're both meme loving fucks who let Minako in Shiro'spresence, now they're dabbing ontop of a crashed Galra ship who letthese two freaks of nature be leaders?

[phantasmsinsideme]

Attention to all otherkin out there.

Okay, so I find that.. all of you realize that you’re not human, that you are now or were in a past life something other than human and most of you have been treated horribly because of it. People have called you horrible things and refuse to accept whom you are. 

Well, let me alleviate your pain and cleanse the negative energy that has surrounded you. Let me first start and say, it’s all real, everything you see, feel and know is real. How do I know that? Well, we are first off all gifted with psychic abilities, so of course naturally we will know, from claircognizance of the crown chakra. We will know information that has no physical proof, for it comes from the universal consciousness. We will see things from our mind’s eye, or the third eye chakra, also known as clairvoyance. You think you’re imagining it, but you’re likely not. As well, you will feel it, you will feel it within you and within your bones, this is a gut feeling known as clairsentience and is ruled by the solar plexus chakra. There is also clairaudience(clear hearing) which is ruled by the throat chakra, but this wasn’t very present in learning to who I am. 

Knowing this is real can end up quite a shock to some people, for we are so surrounded by such closeminded people and views that it’s difficult for some of us to unlearn things. That what is real could be things you didn’t think was real. And due to this such closed mentality, it’s hard for people to awaken and understand. 

But like I said, what you are or were is real, although it could be quite a shock. But let me be upmost clear, the people whom you are searching for to help guide you do not necessarily call what you are “otherkin”, it could be supernatural, it could be a different thing, but all of it is linked to the other planes(like the astral plane, what is called heaven, hell, etc.) and that is why you will feel it spiritually, know it or see it with your mind’s eye. You can find these places through meditation, astral travel/projection, hypnosis, etc. 

People you will meet whom are here to help you may talk about a variety of things, star children, starseeds(if you are spacekin or believe you come from a different world, definitely check out all kinds of stuff on that, check out star children too.), spiritual awakening(i feel like all of you should learn a thing or two on that), ascension, lightworkers/earth angels, psychic abilities, your higher self, meditation, divination, all kinds of things! I think it’s very important for all of you to learn more about those kinds of stuff and try to research, I am positive you will learn more and not be as much surrounded by negative energy.

Let me talk about past lives, this is quite a biggy and this is why some of you believe what you are despite being in a humanoid body. So most of you have probably reincarnated and now your soul is in a human/oid body and I guess that’s just how it turned out. If you kin with an animal, it is highly likely you were an animal in your past life. It is not very hard to figure out, go through past life regression, do automatic writing or automatic drawing to figure out some of your memories. Learn from your past life, do whatever. You are not crazy, trust me. Though I have something to note, some animal souls I’ve met can come across rather apathetic, like your vibrations are on a different level from other people’s souls. (This note includes lycans/werewolves, kitsune and other animal supernaturals.)

If you kin with a supernatural creature or a thing(like the sea, the sun, the night, the moon, the ocean, plants, space, etc.) it is likely you are now or once were a supernatural in your past life. (If you kin with a thing then you are a supernatural creature too, just let me explain) This is a bit harder to understand than once being an animal or having an animal soul. Because now I’m saying “wait, people could’ve or are fantasy creatures”, yes it exists, it is real, and if people say otherwise then they could fuck off, just saying it outright there because their negative energy should be out of here, bye. So, these past life memories should be a lot more vivid to you. You could’ve been an animal in a different life too. You could’ve been a supernatural in multiple lives, i definitely recommend a past life regression session(guided meditation, hypnosis, paid one) if so. It is important for you to learn of you lives before. Also probably look back at old writings and drawings for memories. 

Please PLEASE research all about this, I will not have all the answers.

If you are drawn to things, like books about supernatural stuff, or shows or movies or games or specific time periods, definitely you might have had a past life relating to those things or could be a specific thing. 

Okay remember when I said when if you kin with a thing, like the sun, space, the moon, the ocean, plants, etc., you could be supernatural? Well lots of supernatural creatures like of the faerie folk are related to things of that nature! Like nymphs, whom are spirits of different things. Like tree nymphs, water nymphs, etc. Or if you link yourself with the night you can be a creature of the night like a vampirik creature or a werewolf. Or like you could be a sun child or a moon child like star children. And especially with people relating with space, you are likely a starseed or a star child, so please please research all about that!! There are tons of supernatural creatures that relate to specific things or ideas. 

Even if you don’t find all of your answers at first, a lot of you will find your answers through books, movies, shows, anime, and especially memories. You will definitely find answers through things you are drawn to, listen to your instinct/gut.

Please just research about it, you are not crazy, you are valid and amazing and will find your answers if you look. Also you may ask your spirit guides and entities for help as well. I’m really sorry if any of this was hard to understand. This is for your help, because I was finding a lot of you seem lost in the kin community. Please message me or send me an ask if you would want to talk more about this with me. I will try to answer but if I don’t get to you immediately I might be a bit drained.

If anyone is antikin and is reading this and has anything hateful to say, you are not welcome here, your negative energy isn’t welcome and it’s not okay for you to treat others in a narrowminded way. This is for people’s guidance, and if you try to hinder that, I will block you and you will not be able to interact with any of my posts.

[asteria-rainbow]

Lightwork, Theurgy & Chakra activation - How I did it

Hello beatiful lightworkers and starseeds <3

In today’s post I will tell you the story of a pretty big lightwork project of mine and how you can perform it yourself if you feel like it. I will walk you through the steps and what I had to do to make it happen.

Disclaimer: I don’t hold the ultimate truth, everyone as it’s own way of doing stuff, I’m not saying I did this perfectly but I followed my own guidance and trusted my higher self. If you want to do this yourself please adjust the process with your own guides if need be.

________________________________________

It all started some months ago. I planned on going on several events where a lot of people would be gathered. I won’t go into details to where and what it was but I can tell you that they were going to be a least 360′000 people and that the purpose of the event was very uplifting in nature, the mood about love and communion and overall really positive energy. 

So this idea came to me: why shall I not try to send those people some light to give them a heart chakra activation ?

Let me explain.

At this event, everything was set out for people to feel love and oneness already. Everything was set out for some kind of upgrade for people to reach. I don’t really know how to explain it felt like a build up that led us to it and deep down I simply knew the timing was perfect. So I thought, why not give them a little extra “push” and activate their heart chakra while we’re at it? Why not using this opportunity to help them ? I didn’t really know how the heart activation would work, in which extent individually the energy would be felt, I just knew I had to do it.

As we know, this is a time of shifting, and the heart helps with integration as well. I had never done anything like this before, especially in such a large scale, but to me it’s clear that’s now it’s ok to think big, it’s ok to be bold, and as lightworker we should be able try whatever we wanna do. Times of limitations are over.

Of course, I knew people would chose with free will to take the activation or not, I knew not everyone would take it or be able to take it.

Now after I finished with everything and debriefed with my guides I can confidently say about 74′000 people received the activation.

Maybe not so bad for a first time after all. So that’s why I’m sharing, if I did it anybody can do it! It takes determination but it’s a lot of fun to do and I believe doing lightwork on large scales really is something we should do more often.

To do it I used meditation, visualization, a huge crystal grid, theurgy, and a lot of trust. I did it once at a distance, and once on site (there were several events of the same nature). Both ways used different techniques. So here’s the process and how you can do it yourself.

1. Start of the meditation

I started 2 weeks before the event (the one I would physically go to) took place, twice a day. I usually meditate, but not this much and never focused on the same theme, so it was a real challenge to meditate for hours on one single thing, you have to get really creative.

First, I put myself in my merkaba. I imagine the two tetrahedrons spinning fast in opposite directions. If you don’t know what it is I invite you do read this article: https://bit.ly/2IwxXVj

Then, I call in my pillar of light (it’s very important), it’s better to always put it up while meditating. You can imagine the divine light, the light of source coming down on you from above, going through all of your chakras and going straight to the center of the earth, then imagine the earth sending back it’s energy to you, through your chakras from the base to the crown, and going back down again directly to your heart, so you can stay grounded while doing work. You can even say the process in your head while you’re visualizing it in and say “I am in my pillar of light and grounded to earth, now”.

2. Theurgy

I learned this word while researching on what I was actually doing, so it’s a form of magic, where you call in higher beings, you work through the divine to manifest your desire. There are various types apparently with all sorts of ways to perform rituals. But personally I really kept it light, I only did a really simple one that I’m going to explain later.

At the beginning when I had this idea I thought I could do this on my own (which was a tad too optimistic of me I admit) but as I began really thinking it through...I had no idea how to do it, how to move energy, how to share it with so many people...so I needed to ask for some help.

That’s when I decided to ask for support to the angel realm and miracle! the dream team of angels came down to help me make it happen. How sweet of them <3

So basically I knew nothing about angels before doing this, so I had to ask my guides which ones I should call and they gave me a list. In total, ten different angels helped me performing this pretty big task. I won’t tell you which ones, I think it’s better if you ask yourself which ones you need for your specific purpose.

I read a lot of things while researching Theurgy, that it was dangerous, this and that, a lot of things coming from fear.

Honestly you have nothing to worry about. Angels are happy to help, they always only want your highest good. Their presence while meditating can be a bit intense (especially with so many of them) but it’s all good. If you feel overwhelmed just take a deep breath and trust, talk to them, focus on your goal.

The most important thing as you probably well know is your intent.

It’s clear that if you call them to help you for selfish reasons you probably won’t have the best experience, but if you intentions are pure and loving, in service to others, then angels are really here for you. It doesn’t mean you can’t call them for personal things as people usually do but here it’s a bit different than asking them to help you heal from some pain or have some guidance, it’s literally asking them to move a huge amount of energy from higher dimensions to fulfil your desire. (Which is a nice one, but still, a pretty big one)

So I really humbly asked them if they wanted to do this together with me, I explained my idea and asked for some support if they thought the idea was good. I tried to make clear how pure my intentions were, I opened my heart and tried to show how much I wanted to help and be of service. I had to persist a bit and really prove my determination. And they said yes! I was super excited.

So once you have your merkaba, your pillar, you can call in your guides, then the selected angels that you need to perform the task and you can really start.

3. Visualization

Once the “mandatory phase” of the meditation was done (all of the above) I could really start setting out my intent and visualizing what I wanted to do. So I called in the divine light, the pure white light to come down on me. I had a feeling the light coming from higher dimensions needed some filtering before getting spread into 3D matrix and it’s people, so I believed it would be best if it was filtered through my own body. To make it simple: I visualized the light coming into my body from above, and then being spread out all around me through my meridians. I would be the channel for the light.

I used several steps of visualization.

First, I imagined the white light coming into my field, and as I was in the middle of the crowd, being spread out onto everyone softly, like a big wave. I tried to picture the light reaching everyone, coming into their field, making it’s way into their hearts. I used this image several times in different ways, I pictured the higher dimension the light would be coming from. I picture the crowd filled with light, but also the light at a particule level. And I put some thoughts into it, saying with words my intent for what the light was supposed to do, how it was supposed to come. I also imagined the angels pouring it down on me from when it’s coming from. So it was a multi layered scene: the higher dimension, the angels, the light going through me, then reaching all of them in different ways.

I believe you can use the light for pretty much anything. It’s a bit of a neutral thing, it’s energy. But an energy without intent is no much use. Simply wanting it isn’t enough, I had to fill the light with all the effect I wanted it to have. And for that I needed to look into my heart.

So in second, I had to actually put in some emotions to “charge” the light. This part was the trickiest for me.

I focused on 3 things:

- Unconditional love

- Oneness

- Bliss

For unconditional love, I tried to picture every single person, their personality, their body, their desires, them laughing, smiling, living. As I mostly operate from oneness and love these days it wasn’t so difficult to find the love inside of me most times.

I visualized myself hugging them one by one, saying that they are loved, safe, that everything was going to be alright, that they were the perfect version of themselves in every now moment. I pictured myself holding their hand and placing my other one onto their heart for it to be illuminated with light and love.

I tried to do it very softly, very gently, like a would do with a child. It wasn’t difficult because it’s true: I really love everyone, all the time. But some days especially in the morning when I had to do it, I might have seen it really clearly, nothing would come physically I don’t really know why (probably you need to be in a certain mood and in the morning well you’re still sleepy so it’s not so easy to concentrate, anyway)

For properly “charging” the light I believe I had to feel the emotions physically. So to help I sometimes pictured people I know that I loved, or loving memories, pretty much anything that would help me getting it out and then I focused it on those people. For oneness, I visualized them existing from the same energy, the same light, the same source. I picture source splitting into those beautiful reflections, going into different dimensions, and then at this event, I pictured them all here, being stripped down from their body as light beings, in the same space and time, being separate but the same, and I was in the middle, looking at them saying “look around, you are me and I am you” and showing them our similar hands filled with light. Then they would be back into their body, but we would look at each other with a knowingness and smile and everyone would embrace each other in a big giant hug.

Yes it’s incredibly cheesy lmao.

I don’t really know how to explain how to physically put out the feeling of oneness, it’s like being at several place at the same time, like being aware of each other and knowing we are one, so it brings a feeling of piece. We are whole and everything is alright. We are one experiencing each other, experiencing our creations, and it’s a beautiful journey. You’re pain is my pain, your happiness is my happiness, we’re in this together like a family. It’s the vibe I tried to bring forward through thoughts. Each time you can do it differently. You can use images, you can use memories of moments when you felt whole, you can use words inside your head like you are talking to them. Anything, really.

For bliss it was a bit trickier. To me bliss is a bit of a “higher” emotion and a combination of several feelings.

So I worked with it in stages, I did the unconditional love, then the oneness so I actually felt both, and afterwards while feeling both at the same time I tried to add piece to it? happiness? and bam! bliss. Bliss is really when you are in perfect harmony when everything is beautiful and perfect, filled with light. So if you feel unconditionally loved and whole, it makes you happy and bliss kind of naturally comes in when you mix both of it.

Honestly this was difficult, to go deep into myself and feel blissed twice a day...

so I had to picture myself in their shoes, in this moment of communion, kind of outside of this world, a moment where everything that might have bothered them in their lives was vanishing into thin air to be replaced by a single moment of unconditional love and oneness. Visually, I imagined the moment being suspended in time, like everybody moving in slow motion and the light coming from the sky shining on them really bright. They would look up and feel it, I pictured the air buzzing and them closing their eyes and be filled with happiness and piece and love and wholeness.

Hard. Very hard. So sometimes when I couldn’t bring it in physically I asked my guides to help and they did and that was nice, you can probably ask them too.

So basically it’s those 3 types of visualization/feelings I used after calling the light. As I needed to do it twice a day, I had to get really creative so my mind wouldn’t wander off too much. Feel free to brainstorm with yourself even before starting your meditation on which visualization you could use.

But overall doing all of that took time, so to me you will at least need 25 minutes per meditation, minimum twice a day for it to work but honestly I did really longer ones. In the morning I would do a 25 one and in the evening sometimes an hour or more. Do it as you please but the longer you do it the most effective it is. Simply do it in the best of your capability!

____________________________________________

Complementary tips to help the process

Those two weeks of intense meditation wasn’t the only thing I needed to do. I knew that to keep it really pure, I had to keep myself at a high vibration at preferably all times. I'm already switched into 4th dimension, so I process consciousness much easier than before but still, I needed to be careful. Which means:

- No doubts allowed. Honestly I didn’t know it would work but I knew that if a truly wanted it to work I just couldn’t doubt it or it simply wouldn’t. So I told myself, do it until the end, give everything you have and you’ll see, you have nothing to lose, do what you think is best, trust, and do it. That’s it.

- No negative thoughts. Yes, getting negative thoughts is sometimes inevitable, I have them really less than before but a side of myself loves creating them for no reason at all. So when it happens, acknowledge them, stay neutral and let it move through you. You can “counter it” with positive thoughts afterwards if you like.

- Stay grounded. Go in nature. Drink a lot of water because your energy field must be adjusted to let the light move through it, so help it. Listen to your body and what it needs to stay in high vibration, ask for guidance, sleep if you can.

Another thing, before you go to sleep and when you wake up, you can just visualize it happen one more time really quickly. I do some affirmation before sleeping and I usually review everything that I want in life to manifest so I included it.

Sometimes when affirmation didn’t really feel good I switched to “What if?” questions. What if it worked? What would they feel if it worked? What would I feel? Will I be happy? Will it help them in the future? ect.. to activate your imagination part of the brain which is also good for manifestation.

_______________________

During certain meditations, I couldn’t do the usual steps. Why ? Because the angels started working on my field and on my consciousness to help make it happen. When an angel is working on you, your mind can get “fuzzy” like filled with candy floss so it’s harder to concentrate. Before it happened I always asked which angel it was so I could kind of identify what upgrade they might be doing, but most of the time to be honest I didn’t know what they were doing and in fact I didn’t really care, I trusted them entirely. They were always very sweet and made me feel quite safe and loved which was nice.

When it happened as I couldn’t focus I just kind of enjoyed the moment, tried to open myself up so they could work better, tried to feel their (intense) energy, get to know them. Sometimes in those meditations my guides made the most of it and sent me some guidance about other topics while they could (I wasn’t meditating on anything else at all during those two weeks so they used those times to reach out to me). It can be a bit intimidating at first, but as I said before you can focus on your breath, calm down and stay neutral so your mind won’t go into panic mode as these energies can be quite unusual.

The angels and my guides during those ones sent me guidance about the steps to make everything work out in the best possible way. That’s how I learned I actually had to make a crystal grid to make it work.

5. Crystal grid & Sacred geometry

So it was my very first crystal grid and guys what a grid lol. I actually had to set it up all around the location of the event. Which was...hell? complicated? Because it was highly secured and I had to set up 15 stones discreetly all around it without getting arrested for being shady. Anyways.

First I had to actually invent it, because no crystal grids exists on the internet that is meant for this kind of thing. I created it with sacred geometry. You can find the meanings of the symbols in any sacred geometry book. I had to use 3 different symbols to make my grid, and also use 3 different set of stones. All of it was created with my guides and the angels, I would either receive downloads of simply get the answers during meditation. 

First of all when I received the stones I had to purify them and consecrate them. Then, the night before the event I had to fill them with my intentions.

I had 3 sets of stones with different shapes, each set corresponding to a sacred geometry pattern. I used only clear quartz crystals except for the central stone which was an emerald (related to the heart chakra). So I had the central stone on myself to activate the whole grid at the right time (in a way in fact I was the central stone.)

So to fill it with my intention I had to do a meditation the night before. I was confused on how to do it so my guides told me to put a different emotion for each set of stones. So each set had 1 emotion to focus on (unconditional love, oneness, bliss)

I had to do it very separately, take one set into my hands and focus on the same visualization I usually did and really pull in the emotion, then do the next one ect..

So the plan was to place them on site, pray to the angels to keep them safe (some of them were quite big and could easily be seen) and wait for the proper timing to activate them with my emerald central stone.

____________________

To move this kind of energy you have to put things in motion in every plan of existence. So you have to, besides meditations, do something physically to make it work. That’s why a crystal grid was needed amongst other reasons. But when I was on site, I couldn’t put the crystals at the exact right spots of my sacred geometry grid, the crystals would be seen too easily so it wasn’t 100% accurate. However, as I walked near the exact spots, the angels/guides sent energy through my field, I believe they still anchored energy at the right spot. It worked perfectly. Afterwards I simply asked the grid to deactivate, collected the stones and that was done.

6. The day of the activation

Everything went according to plan, I was on site with everybody, ready to do the activation at the right time (I picked a moment where I knew the heart of people would be the most open). A few minutes before I was supposed to start, the air around me was already starting to feel different, kind of buzzing, my chakras all activated. I was ready. It was go time.

So I closed my eyes, palms upwards facing the sky. I first pictured my merkaba, and invoked my pillar (I programmed them to be instantaneous), then I called in the angels, my guides, and asked for protection. At this moment it was already insane, like a bubble was ready to pop. I put my central stone in my hands and activated it, visualizing each stone turning bright. Then I called in the light, did the visualization of the light coming down into me and being spread to everybody, just as I did in meditation. And...it did. I felt a huge continuous stream of energy going through me, through my chakras. I gave my everything to pull out some emotions, to focus on the effect I wanted, to picture their heart chakra opening. My energy was spinning, the flow of energy going through me felt so big, honestly it was the most intense and insane thing I’ve ever done. Then after a couple of minutes the stream slowed down, I opened my eyes and it came to an end. I had to sit down immediately I was all shaky but I was so happy, I knew we succeeded! My friend that was beside me also felt it strongly. Afterwards my body was really weird, like hungover. I had to eat and drink a lot but I truly felt better after sleeping.

I collected the stones and left. We did it! We sent out the activation! :D

When I came home, we drank a glass of champaign to celebrate, and to thank the angels I poured one glass to each of them (and I actually felt their energy near the drink, no idea how it works but they must have tasted it in some way lmao) and I thanked them individually for everything.

They all helped me so much. I never felt more supported than during those two weeks. Teamwork makes the dream work and I’m the happiest.

Doing the same thing at a distance

One week before the main event, I knew there was another one in another city. My higher self actually told me to go months ago and unfortunately I didn’t listen but I was also supposed to do the activation there. Nonetheless when I figured it out, I asked if we could still do it at a distance from my home. And yes we could.

The process is a bit different, there is no crystal grid involved. As I wasn’t on site disturbed by the surroundings and the noise, the plan was to meditate during the whole time of the event to send out energy. As we know, space and time doesn’t really matter, even if I think it’s more effective if you can be physically there.

So what I had to do came to me in meditation: I had to light some candles, and prepare a little gift for the angels (lots of chocolate, I’m not surprised they like it, and I bought good stuff lol)

I started the meditation the same way I did before and all, merkaba, pillar, calling everyone, visualization. And bim! it worked but this first time was way more intense than the second time. (It’s normal, when I was physically at the event I still had to be able to like...stand up as the energy came through me, but since the first time I was at home they kind of could go all in)

The energy as I said was VERY intense, my feet that were brushing my table near my couch could feel the table buzzing, it was a very rapid flow of light, very light but heavy because there were a lot. I kept it on for about an hour and then it became too intense and I kind of...passed out. Not really passed out but I fell asleep. I think it was better for me to be unconscious so there wouldn’t be too much interference from my ego and thoughts. The second the flow stopped I suddenly woke up about an hour after so in total the transfer took 2 hours.

And that’s it. They liked the chocolate, everything worked out and it was possible in only one week of work. (The main event was one week after this one)

Conclusion

This experience made me learn quite a bit. First of all: that anything is possible if you put your mind to it. It also helped me be more rigorous, as I wasn’t used to meditate twice a day every day, I proved myself I could do it. I learned that there are always beings ready to help you in ways you may not always understand. I feel more confident and blessed that I was able to help so many people within my capacity. It was a lot of fun!

Anybody can do it. I alone (with the team of course) was able to activate the heart chakra of 74′000 people! It’s huge! What can’t we do if we try similar things as a group then? Honestly I think it goes beyond our imagination.

And I invite all the lightworkers to use it. Be creative! Have fun! You have a great idea to share? You have a project you want to build? Do it! Ask for help if need be but do it.

As I said, I knew nothing about any of this before, but I persisted and I received every information I needed as I went on, it was very natural and effortless.

You can do anything, and it’s time to think big. I hope this story inspired you in a way. Don’t hesitate to send me DMs and asks if you have any specific questions!

I love you all a lot, may your light shine always <3

[magical-gull]

Okay so shitty day aside I’ve been suddenly inspired by @presidentnerd 's idea of ‘what if tuxedo mask actually was some kinda phantom’ to wax about and explain away some things about the Dark Kingdom and the Deadmoon Circus, which may or may not be added to the pile of unnecessarily complex headcanon tpically-created-in-ten-minutes-on-the-fly I already got. If you give no shits about the nature of monsters or Queens and just are wondering what the above means skip to the bottom. Everyone waxes poetic about senshi and their alternate selves, and while this doesn't contradict any of that, it'll be simpler and separate from that because it's gonna specifically apply to the folks... I guess we'll call em 'Earthlings' or whatever. The ones associated with the Golden Kingdom, so that includes Endymion, Beryl, the Foursome, and Nehelenia (who I retooled as a hybrid), and some other goons I probably forgot. So let's invoke Tolkein-style a bit and say plot relevant, magic-inclined GK/Elysium/Atlantis/etc folk operate on a kind of elf-style dual existence. You exist in the normal Physical realm and another Spiritual one at the same time, which confers certain abilities like being sensitive to the supernatural, things that ONLY exist on the other side, 'psychic' phenomena, etc. versus regular folks. Particularly in the manga, youma and humans are compared heavily, so let's say a youma is what you get when a creature with a Spirit but without a proper Body starts kicking around by whatever means (insert Kingdom Hearts joke here). So Hot-Springs-Ghost-In-That-Anime-Filler-Episode (really any ghost or vampire in general) is a "naturally" occurring youma. The ones made by infecting a physical thing are 'artificial' ones. This also explains why it takes senshi to fight them. They can destroy them on 'both' sides, or conversely, heal the 'corrupted' side and leave the other side in tact. For my own headcanon, this is how people who don't know what Sailor Senshi are, but have heard of Guardians, think Guardians are: powerful people who can tap into the Spiritual side without unbalancing their Bodies and turning into monsters... which opens the possibility that someone COULD turn into one with enough time or lack of discipline, hence yet another reason the GK folk might be nervous about Sailor Senshi. It also explains one of my favorite subtypes, the Rainbow Crystal style youma, monster sides of suddenly Unbalanced people who are... unpredictable but perhaps not necessarily evil if they weren't being cajoled by villains. But still wild and uncontrolled; think your Epic ‘’heroes’’ who get drunk and punch bears and feats of strength. While I like this for my unnamed long-dead ancient Eath Guardian type, not the kinda thing you want in a civilized society. Speaking of ghosts, while it's a gruesome thought let's assume Nehelenia and Beryl's supply of monsters are in fact the particularly vengeful ghosts of their *own courts* given some physical shape by whatever ectoplasmic technobabble they got lying around. NT is pretty fond of the homunculus concept of monsters ghosts poured into meat vessels; we actually see Jedite fuck with an altar filled with clay dust in SMC and pull a youma out of it, and Doc Tomoe's entire diamon egg theme, so this may not even be that metaphorical. This also explains why youma are in limited supply; while I see the Shittenou and Beryl having variant skill with making them, individual ghosts with enough malice or hate to want revenge on the Moon Kingdom but are ALSO loyal enough to Beryl to allow themselves to be controlled might be rare. This can even explain some weird variants in other adaptations; PGSM youma summoned without sufficient energy or prep time can be mindless drones barely worth a distraction. Meanwhile the infamous Tethys from Classic seemed to be Beryl's personal servant and a couple youma seem to directly report to Beryl or her Second only (who coincidently tend to be the most human-looking and -acting ones). And yes, I'm implying the Shittenou themselves might have been reanimated in the same way (ie., something between a regular human and a filled-out youma) but perhaps as a bit more solid given their selves seem to be shrinkwrapped in rocks which, as we learn with starseeds later, seems to make souls extra sturdy. *They'd* certainly have contempt for the Moon Kingdom to spare and make the process easy. Nehelenia is a different story, with her ongoing theme of her own minions liking or respecting her even less than most villains. So let's say she knows or learned the process of making monsters from Beryl did, but they don't have the strong negative or positive attachment Classic youma do. My own retool that her grubbing for power accidently leading to her small kingdom's destruction is actually the lesser of evils; in some canons she literally devours their life-force after becoming obsessed with being young.  SO Queen N's monsters come in a different flavor: extreme personalities and obsessions rather than being explicitly hateful, difficult to control or take orders, etc. Unpredictable, althought that can be an asset. In the manga, Nehelenia-Zirconia outright of acknowledges having a shitshow and tells her minion squad the sailor senshi pretty much could wipe the floor with them in a straight fight, so the DMC crew tend to use illusion traps and similar. Nehelenia lacks the apparently physical Metallia-mojo-juice Beryl had, but she has a lot of mirror magic illusion crap. These illusion scenarios the senshi fall into 'feel 'magicky as hell to the viewer, so let's say this is a strong Spiritual side to make up for their kind of weak Body side. This even fits the theme of when the senshi inevitably get the upper hand; the Trio are reduced to animals easily dispatched and the Quartet, away from all their bells and whistle, are tiny people. Skipped ahead? here we are.

Keet the fuck does this have to do with Tuxedo Mask. So I like the theory one of Mamoru's big issues with... lots of senshi-relevant stuff is they've never made peace with Endymion and their exploits in the past. Endmyion is the senshi self, but Tuxedo Mask is a compromise. A way to be helpful or whatever without invoking that guilt. A form that to have weird unsenshi-like powers. Someone who can move or appear like a ghost conveniently. Someone with a weird connection to the supernatural despite being untrained and not even transformed. In short, "Tuxedo Mask" is, in broad terms, a third option, youma-like form Mams and Endmyion temporarily piggyback on. This even explains a few unusal quirks among various (conflicting, admittedly) versions of the character: 1. Classic's first Opening has that infamous mysterious TM-looking phantom that's never explained. I've seen fan theories that it was foreshadowing of Tux being a villain that never panned out (though would ironically mirror Ace in the Sailor V manga). But with this theory, let's say it's what "Tuxedo Mask" might be/become if ENdmyion and/or Mams' lost mutual control and became a 'pure' youma. Floaty and creepy.

2. Mams having blackouts/lost-time running around as TM without knowing? Doesn't happen to any of the "proper" senshi when they awaken. DOES coincidently happen like clockwork to VOTD humans transformed into 'monsters' in the anime.

3. Luna and co's general suspicion of the character might be some instinctual sense of the youma side.

4. The DK's really high interest in them even before learning Mams' origin.

5. Anime!TM's abilities take an inexplicable dive right around the time they've invoking Endymion directly a few times, as if the two powers are incompatable. In PGSM, simply turning evil doesn't negate senshi powers (Ami) but being turned into a youma (Usagi) seems to.

6. Tuxedo Mask gives Mams an especially exposed side to the Spirit side of things, and youma are easily influenced by outside forces. Hence they’re even more sensitive to supernatural stuff that you’d expect.

7. The Moonlight Knight could be explained with this theory, as a version of the same youma. Seperated from Mams they can’t act physically but separated from Endymion they lack the negative feelings and emotions of all that angst that tends to turn a youma ‘evil’. The lack of a evil/DK presence means what it feels most strongly is the sailor senshi, so its a positive being.  Noticeably, Mams never transforms into Tuxedo mask while MK is running around on its own. Because they’re broadly MK and TM the same ‘creature’.In effect, Tuxedo Mask REALLY IS more like a different person than Mams, maybe more than they can adequately explain to the others.

[boyfrienby]

a lot of this is gonna be copy pasted from various sources on god tiers but mainly this blog and the wiki SO

i’m a page of space. space is about creation and the physical properties of objects (shape, size, location and velocity), and obviously they go on to breed the genesis frog and create a universe. pages struggle with their aspect, but fully god-tiered, they become some of the strongest players. i think i struggle with space by being a starseed, and wanting so desperately to see space while being stuck on earth in a human body. its also suggested a page of space would start out lacking creativity or originality, and put on a show of it anyway (which is super tru drag me) 

pages supply others with their aspect, and space is a creative, externalized aspect. i go through periods of either smothering people or barely talking at all, but i always try to be an emotional support to my friends (despite feeling horrible myself, and using up all my spoons trying to help them sometimes). i would eventually become a living weapon of my aspect for others to use. 

(from the source above:) “As they play the game, they will likely tend to be swept along in another’s personal quest. As they do, they’ll need to lose their old ways and learn true creativity and growth, as well as why not all creative impulses are good impulses, tempering the real ideals of Space with a bit of Time. They’ll become more and more capable of helping others on their own quests, completely ignoring the Genesis Frog unless someone else has that goal as well, such as a determined Knight.A god tiered and fully powered-up Page of Space would be incredibly powerful. Pages have the potential to be among the most powerful classes of all, and Space players in general are quite powerful. They would be able to move others around in space with ease, or moving the space itself, acting under the guidance of a skilled tactician who ensures the battle conditions are optimal. They could also create more powerful weapons for other players. Finally, they could be a fountain of creation, allowing the Genesis Frog to breed and flourish around them. In short, the Page of Space must leave their vain attempts behind and become a shaper of the universe.” 

ive just found out my boyfriend is the knight of light, and a page is the passive counterpoint to a knight. knights exploit their aspect as their weapon and purpose, and in at least two of the sessions we’ve seen, a knight helps and protects the space player. 

light players are usually pretty dark (which is definitely a descriptor for him) and their aspect “is all about relevance, fortune, attention, and light. Therefore, the Knight of Light would exploit their own attention to detail, struggle with their own good luck, and protect their team with the light of truth.” hes got shitty luck and conceals his feelings after near constant blows. im not sure how accurate all this is to how he feels because i havent really interpreted it to his situation 100% but idk heres some stuff : 

“The Knight of Light would start out trying to pin down the truth of the situation, and hiding themselves behind a wall of information. They’d be avid hoarders of truth and superstition alike, desiring to know why people choose to believe one or the other. They’d tend to get anxious if they don’t have enough information, and would seek after any information that they find and worry about if it was useful later.As they developed, the Knight of Light would have to learn to use their knowledge of what draws people’s attention to their advantage and in conjunction with their growing power over Light. They would need to come out behind their wall and exploit all that knowledge and attention to detail to stand up for what is real.A god tiered Knight of Light would be a brilliant and manipulative combatant. They would be able to exploit their opponent’s attention, causing them to look the other way at the wrong time. They would also be impossibly lucky, dodging swords and bullets without even trying, as well as hitting just the right spot on an opponent through all sorts of troubles. Paired with a Mind player, the Knight of Light would be insanely powerful. Finally, they would extent their protection over their entire team, protecting them with good luck in whatever the team does. In short, the Knight of Light makes any task much easier, from causing a distraction to fighting hoards of enemies to defending the Space player with good fortune.”

so i think it could be something like vriska realizing her aspect as a thief of luck, maybe he could improve his bad luck through sheer confidence as a knight. who knos im high 

[mikazukikannagisjourney]

Spiritual Log September 29, 2019

Subtitle: might as well be the 30th since it’s almost midnight when I started lolz also this is my entire September stuff. So this is a really, really long post

What’s in it? Well, what I did this month and how to transmute emotions. OH, and how to manage crazy energies right now.

HI everyone, I am finally back, somewhat. I guess September was a bit more manageable(?) than August, but for me, because I was also moving my stuff out from one place and moving them to another after living in there for so long, it was a mix of emotions: exhausting; scary; lotsa grief; and enlightening, to say the least. But at least I have hauled most of my stuff so I guess I am good. I just need to settle in the new place and then plan what my next move would be. Of course, as always I have to accept the fact that the universe had other plans, and fun time based on what I want right now is gonna be harder to come by.

The universe wanted me to “rest”, and by that I mean focus more on transmuting personal and family karma. So right now I have to transmute so much subtle energy garbage that I actually felt sick, exhausted, depressed, just mainly horrible 2 days after this month started. I thought it was gonna be better than August? Gahhh. Nope. 

So I ended up balancing between meditating and binge-watching anime titles that only have one season. Around the 13th, the internet got cut-off so no internet, I was AFK, and also no cable so I got basically cut off for about 4 days from the net and it felt like months, no kidding. I suddenly had so many existential dilemmas left and right, I had to face my noisy thoughts for 4 days!!! I almost lost my mind then. Not that I had much to lose in the first place lol

These are among the existential crap I had to put up and ultimately caused my depression with while I started putting my things in boxes *I had nothing to do so might as well start packing lol*

Why do I have to transmute my entire lineage’s karma?

Why the fudge am I the karma bearer?

Why is my birth chart set on “extremely happy with suffering-hard core edition” mode (after seeing the birth charts of other people)

Nothing makes sense now and ever, why must I be like this?

Binge-singing songs about loneliness - and then crying with no tears

I hate being lonely but what the fudge can I do, I am not a people person (based on my human-design chart I’m an effing hermit)

Bouts of being catatonic for hours, mostly due to overwhelming feelings of anxiety due to packing and discarding stuff, and just getting too tired and lacking sleep and junk food

A whole bunch of thoughts centered on my victim mentality  (I tried to kick it out by doing Kundalini yoga, it actually worked.. I had a good cry after denying it for so long)

I really, really want out, I am basically a walking blockage that has a soul

But around the middle of last week, maybe sometime after the 20th and after trying to remove blockages through the various methods I had been using, I finally felt a bit of relief. I started removing more trapped emotions from my heart wall and my body in general. I was even holding onto one of my biological mother’s trapped emotions, which she had when she was still in school. So I basically released an inherited emotion, which caused a sty in my eye. I released it and the sty went away, like what the fudge was that.

Of course, because my body likes suffering so much, I had to get one thing wrong again while I was doing Kundalini Yoga. So.. I was releasing anger and hatred because I was gonna attend a birthday party where I was expecting that many of the people who have hurt me one way or another would be present. I honestly didn’t want to get attached to the hate anymore, and just wanted to have a great time at the place, for my friends’ sake. Somehow, I did not expect that I would be maxing out my body’s spinal flexibility limits. I thought I was already over that, but I guess I pushed myself too hard again, and during that time was enjoying the fact that I was a but limber than before, so I thought I was healed somewhat. Also, I just felt so great and had no trace of anger or hate after the almost hour-long meditation (which felt like a workout, really). I thought I was gonna make it to the party without harboring hate.

Again, nope.

The next day, my chronic back pain went back. It wasn’t exactly as strong so I thought it was just a muscle spasm and massaged it out. Then I started hauling more stuff out. I must have carried so much heavy stuff but I was still able to move so I didn’t think much of it. When I woke up the next day, the shooting pains and getting zero power in my legs came back, so I ended up staying in bed the whole day. It was really a drag, I didn’t get to clean or pack things up, but honestly what made me ok with it was that at least I could use it as an excuse not to go to the party. WHich is pretty lame, yes I know, but I am also at my weakest since I was scared as shit of the old perv that might appear around me again, or I might lash out at the other two people who pretty much dented me because I had to be so stupid to let them in my life (extreme regret but can’t do anything about that now other than cut them all out). I honestly just kept thinking of excuses not to see them or be forced to interact with them but that would be awkward when you’re in a confined space. Also nobody knows what I had to go though with this bunch of people, and though I confided some of it to a good Soul Sister, the rest of the bunch won’t know, and they probably still see these three people ni high regard. Especially the old perv. Urrgh.

So... Despite the fact that I was actually looking forward to the birthday party because I could finally get out of the house and drive a long while and see some of the people I care about, especially my “adopted son” and “great-grand-daughter”, I just gave up and told the party organizer that I can’t make it due to chronic illness flare-up. Which is legit. I still thanked them for inviting me because seriously, I haven’t been back to that workplace since may and I never really went back after what, 5 months? I just used the extra time to try getting some really good rest and getting as much of my stuff transported to the new place as I could bodily can so I won’t have to do more trips. I did succeed, but by then my back pain was quite irking and I couldn’t stand up without pain or sit up so I just layed down and started thinking all that existential shit again.

Seriously it was very, very depressing at that point, but then I got guided to go check some energy readings, and lo and behold it was actually a major energetic shift due to the equinox. A whole bunch of the collective were also feeling the same shit. Lethargy. Depression. Reappearing issues. Pains and what not,. MOre dramas.

I WASN’T EFFING ALONE!!!

I guess that lifted my mood, and because I needed some even more morale boost, I went back to studing Japanese. Which, of course means listening to raw uncaptioned ASMR videos on Youtube. Them smexy voices just make me go ahhhh, ah ahh ahh--. (insert Kamisama Hajimemashita 1st Ending here lolol that song got stuck in my head but it was definitely fun) But no, seriously, I had been away from keyboard for so long (like 2 more weeks) so I decided to celebrate by watching so much junk videos on the web. I actually felt great and thankful afterwards. ZERO REGRETS.

So after all the carpload that happened for me in this month of September, what the heck did I learn after all that existential stuff?

I had to transmute the karma because I am AWAKE.

I was the karma bearer so to heal my ancestral line because I actually can (through Reiki)

My birthchart was very oppressive and shitty because again, see first 2 points. Also I must heal the collective too, as a Starseed-Earthseed mix. Seriously, being a Starseed/Earthseed or Angel whatever isn’t a bragging right, it’s a freaking responsibility, like being a garbage disposal person. BAsically trash lolol not..

NOthing makes sense because again, see previous points. Especially the one before this.

I was basically wounded with loneliness and separation/isolation, and it was something I had to face and be ok with. I am stil not ok with it, but I am doing  my best to be at peace in being lonely and isolated. Not the alone part though, I love that.

I had so much stuff so I had to remove so many energies connected to those stuff, so I could discard what no longer serves. Like cord-cutting but with your hoard stash.

I just needed to sleep more, because whenever I do, I feel a bit better afterwards. PLus all my dreams get too vivid and wild.

My brain is still filled with so much subconscious garbage, so I guess I still have a long way to go in terms of flushing them all out. Now I use a lot of subliminal boosters apart from the usual subliminals.

When all else fails, just do the following Kriyas or Kundalini moves: Sat Kriya (to ease and calm down anxieties, and also to strengthen your abs lol no really), Removing Inner Anger (warning, this is the set that made my back pain come back, proceed with caution. Effective at the inner peace part. Also an effing heck of a workout. If I had a stronger back I’d do this everyday, I’ll grow abs lol), Emotional Balance Moveset (This is actually fun, and it helps me calm the fudge down. Very effective, easy to do, I highly recommend), Subagh Kriya (to invoke wealth, yeah I know right? But if all else gunks out, it can strengthen your arms and back so it’s still a good thing. I actually like this one, because you strengthen your body AND invoke the wealth of YOUR universe. Win-win!), Guru Gaitri Mantra (to be in your true power), Blockage Removal (this uses a lot of breath of fire, so if you want abs and getting high at the same time, this is the one for you lolol), Gutka Kriya (it’s really good to do when you’re really feeling low and crummy, plus you also HAVE to keep your vibes up or else lolol), Motivational Moveset (it can make you do what you think you can’t, so yeah, motivational lol), Meditation for Gratitude and receiving blessings (really easy to do, but making your brain work is another thing lol), Removing Cold Depression (I just do this whenever I feel depressed, it kinda clears my heart and head), Healing a Broken Heart (if you can bear the pain of keeping your arms up after 11 mins I doubt you could ever keep your heart broken lolol I did this for over a month way back and it was super effective. Just remember the pain of holding your arms lol), Remove Subconscious Garbage silent version (beacuse seriously it’s a problem), Last Resort Meditation (literally when you’re down on your luck and everything, it’s very grounding and keeps your wits with you), If you need to manage anxiety (seriously, this can also help,  and you can build abs lolol trust me the breathing patterns are insanely challenging), Improve Frontal Lobe and Hypothalamus (yeah, I know right? but seriously, just try it)   and the easiest so far, Kirtan Kriya (it’s just like you stretch your fingers to play guitar, it’s that easy). The others here are in YT, videos and stuff: Self-love and acceptance, Sat Narayan Mantra (I placed the really catchy version lol), Subconscious Garbage Removal aka Subconscious Blockage Remover (it can get quite catchy lolol), Relieve Anger Shorter version (if your back isn’t that strong. still effective though, I cry a lot whenever I do this), External Blockage Remover (even if it just brings you inner peace, I still think that’s quite effective), and of course, the very important Karma Cleansing (if you happen to be the bearer of your family and ancestral karma. This dude has a longer version on his site, I recommend buying it, that one’s wayyy longer and you’ll cry more. Also it helps lighten the load)

But that’s not all folks lolol if you’re just here for the “How to Transmute Emotions” PArt, don’t worry buddy, this bitch has got you covered. =D This is my own way of transmuting emotions because the internet doesn’t satisfy my need for more details. Seriously.

Just remember the following acronym: RAIREPEAT

R - Recognize -  recognize the recurring patterns that have been causing you problems. It will help greatly if you can trace back its origins, or the first time it happened, or the most painful session it occurred. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride, peeps.

A - Accept - accept that this thing actually happened to you, and be at peace with its existence. 

I - Integrate - Integrate this event that happened to you  and has been the root of your recurring problems. Be at peace with the fact that this event has been and will probably always be a part of you, because it changed you and made you who you are, for better or worse. Just embrace it, cry into it, surrender (to the feeling of crying because this shit happened to you). BAsically this is the part where so much crying and release of other negative moions are needed.

RE - RElease - Release any attachments to this old event, any feelings, emotions, people, just cut them out or cord-cut any remaining energies. 

PEAT - rePEAT - yeah, these shitty things will come back every now and then, but the more you strongly intend to release these things, the lesser you will need to rinse and repeat,. if anything, the feelings associated will only get weaker and weaker each time you feel them  until they’re basically undetectable or doesn’t trigger anything anymore. By that time, you’re well in your way to more peace.

Well, I hope this mega-post helped you in any way, or will help you in the months and years to come, because seriously, the energies will only get even crazier from here. But hey, any chance to stay level-headed and grounded is better than being anxious all the time, so might as well just do stuff to ease and heal than remain in all that drama.

I wish you well on your path of awakening. and may you find the healing you seek.

In love and hugs from Source above,

三日月

Mikazuki

[flameontheotherside]

Channeling Vanessa

Well I've been doing it with and without knowing it. On here however, I haven't officially set aside an entry just to give her a platform. Mainly because I'm afraid of the fact of the matter she's an incarnated galactic guardian part of the love realm. Some people might get thier panties in a bunch about it. You know, what she likes to call "Posers". She absolutely hates most people but favors other starseeds.

Okay.... I think I can do this 😆 at least she's in the mood because I'm with Ares adulting. He's kind of pressured me to get my insurance paperwork done before doing the fun. I enjoy being around other incarnates over non-incarnates because it feels like home. As in the way I have in the realms, my friends and who I call/ed "friends".

I am the spirit self and higher self.

Part of our life purpose is being our true authentic/ self. Not to be totally at one but in balance. As above (above as in the higher self is high) so below but with a healthy balance. In the case of Monique as her incarnate she's learning to balance myself with her. This is a process most incarnates from the realms who are "woke" go through. At times it is confusing.

What causes distress is not being around among others who share the same spiritual DNA blueprint. We generally intuitively pick up likewise energies. A gravitational pull. This is usually dependent on how "woke" they/we are. We feel different than most people on earth. Not all "starseeds" are from the realms however.

The realms are made of 4 factions of which including as follows:

Love/Relationships - associated with the Cups in tarot

Abundance/Finance - associated with the Pentacles in tarot

Peace - associated with the Wands in tarot

War - associated with the Swords in the tarot

All factions can tell a lot about a person based on the tarot associations.

So basically that's it... I have got nothing left. She pushes me around a lot but means well. 😂 I totally understand now even though I still have my doubts every now and then. It irritates her to fuck when I don't do "the things". I feel like some times people must know who I am. Before, I never left my condo and I wasn't social. Being around people 24/7 in this shelter I'm forced to work on my autistic social skills. Maybe I think too much. I try not to worry about meeting other incarnates because that's not why I became homeless. I'm being pushed out of my comfort zone.

Having visited the realms so many time in meditation/hypnosis and dreams, I miss home. Sometimes miss being "myself" but I can tell it's coming from my higher self wanting to be around other incarnates.

😑 Reminds me she's bugging me about Bragi.

For fucking two weeks now she's bugging me to fuck about Bragi. 🙄 How about let's not and say we did. I'm just ignoring it because I don't feel it's necessary right now. She's always messing around up there, she's probably got Bragi as her bitch or flavor of the week. A knotch on her "bedpost"......... 😂👏👏👏 I Well played, well played. She doesn't like when I mock her. She says, "As above, so below". Yeah yeah yeah, sure whatever you say. Keep messing around and I'll really join a Convent like in that one past life.

Okay I'll stop fucking around. Funny as fuck though. I really wish everyone could have conversations like I do with my higher self.

😘💞💕❤️ I love you all!

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

(◕‿◕)♡ Social: Twitter Tumblr Instagram YouTube

[magical-gull]

Yes Keet pls write up that separate post about how a Mio vs Galaxia showdown would look, I'm VERY interested!

This nonsense is surrounded by a whole mess of modified canon (there's like three+ versions of this story canonically, dont ask for specifics) and intentional Removal Of Everyone Else Who SHould Probably Be Around And Doing Things For Simplicity, but I'll throw in notes if stuff is relevant to this particular scenario.

Galaxia does A Thing which prompts Mio to become pensive about the senshi’s actual chances against her, and comes up with a plan in secret. Secret partly because she isn't too concerned about the Starlights (”sucks to be you but more pressing issues“) but also partly because the others won't agree to it. She does have a lot of close talks with Setsuna and (oddly) Hotaru, but they're the most open minded to things so no one suspects too much. Everyone just assumes she agrees with the Outer Senshi, which is... broadly correct.

By this point in the story, Mio already knows a lot about previously being Beryl, and a lot about the kingdom and elysium and all that from Helios, mostly private conversations. Again, not HIDING it from the senshi, but they don't ask directly so she doesn't tell. Mio asks Helios about... well, a lot of things, and goes over the things they've already learned. Like how Helios had protected part of the Golden Crystal (long story, but basically a combo of both versions of official canon) that was damaged when Beryl was injured a long time ago but he didn't return to her due to personal doubts (ed. SuperS revision) how that obviously means a starseed doesn't necessarily have to be in a body if it wasn't completely in HER body, and hasn't been until recently, but being in Elysium (which is the guardian’s realm, sort of) seemed to protect it just fine if not for The Troubles with QN...

Helios tries to keep a cool head as he already guesses the path of the conversation, but after hearing the plan, goes a little hoarse.

Mio also learns from Hotaru further starseed oddities; Hotaru did in fact give back the Outer Senshi their powers during the previous story (ed. SuperS) but not out of nowhere; she literally split parts of her own 'starseed' (she doesn't know the word, but the implication is there) to get around the magic of the eclipse. This means she's as bound to the three as they are to her, and also why she's significantly powered down now.

Maybe she learns about how Galaxia's goons are powered too, but I don't know if she'd be that close to the Starlights, assuming they even know.

Anyway things get Extra Desperate, and she somehow gets around the other senshi - Setsuna and Hotaru caution her but don't stop her, Mission and Sacrifices amirite girls? - long enough to get alone. She returns to the physical entrance of Elysium (somehow) which is at the metaphorical doorstep of what's left of the ruined underground Golden/Dark Kingdom; there's been no cleanup crew, so the rather interesting ruins are still marred by where Metallia exploded out of the earth, QN's fuckery, etc. Being here is helping her remember the layout of the place, and for once she lets the memories get closer. Poking at the dust around makes her aware there are... things. Not youma, not quite ghosts, but all things with memory of her and they aren't happy. She admits they have no reason to owe her anything, and that while in every life she wanted to protect what she had she's been a lousy Guardian so far. But that Things are arriving and she needs their help. A compromise is made.

Mio somehow gets Galaxia over to where she is for a big confrontation (you can just imagine Beryl trying to look dignified on a ruined throne or something, thumping a septer) huge and melodramatic and full of cheese like she's good at. Galaxia's impressed despite herself and offers... well, whatever villains like to offer. Or would she like something else? Mio almost seems to agree with Galaxia's ultimatium, or at least find them reasonable, but admits a problem. She smells something around Galaxia, something INSIDE of her, very familar, that was once in her and who exactly is she pledging loyalty to? Words like 'puppet' and 'lackey' are thrown around, and G isn't having it. SHe has a show of force, which Mio deflects...

And Mio's there. But a lot more than her. Much in the way Serenity is there when Usagi needs it, she has the other self. It's Beryl, seemingly, but not the death-warmed-over skulking redhead full of bitterness. Maybe the person she was *supposed* to always be, the real queen under the mountain, mixed with Mio's self and cleverness and mind and heart. Not full of shadow, but gold and metal and glory and strength. A *real* Gold Queen, she can't resist thinking. Well, there’s some purple underneath. And some fine cloth. Namesake after all. AMazing all this dust isn’t getting all over her clothes. An outside observer might wonder about the clashing, tacky necklace of rough, green stones but wouldn’t have much time to do so. She fires everything. WHatever magic was still in the rotting kingdom, whatever her own crystal could give, whatever her sheer tendancy and spite can make, and it's fine if she's greedy, she'll keep all the things she has and loves and that's fine, she'll stomp out a fire even if she has to do it barefoot because they’re hers and no one will take away things she can protect.

If you are a fan of the pyrotechnic confrontation Usagi has Beryl at least in one universe, the allusion is very intentional. The irony is not lost on Mio, who thinks at least now she can draw level with Usagi. BUt at some point Mio knows it's not going to work. Maybe she always knew. But whatever power is coming out of the earth, it's holding Galaxia in place, if briefly . In a flash, Mio-Beryl is next to her, almost tenderly giving her a nudge down to force her on one knee and whisper something.

What you do if you're meeting a real queen, is kneel.

It's probably best the explosion that rocks the place is mostly underground, or a lot of questions would be raised. Helios should not really be able to hear the commotion behind the Door, but FEELS it, which is his cue. Galaxia pulls herself from the rubble. She's a bit of mess, but not dead. She's not going to be killed by that. But angry. Frazzled in a way she hasn't in a while. The cracks in her armor might as well me cracks in the flesh; they're oozing something more unpleasant than blood. It wriggles and moves, and she slaps it down. Mio is back to being Mio, completely worn out, has enough energy to think aloud to Helios. Tell him to protect all their dreams.

Galaxia controls herself long enough to do her starseed trick - or perhaps doesnt have to, heroes seem to get out their own doodads for these dramatic proceedings - and is left gaping when it suddenly vanishes into thin air. Well, into a hand she can't see. Helios can't say anything besides being glad to have met Mio. But Mio is content with knowing at least THAT'S a starseed that won't be stolen. And she got Galaxia to kneel. That was a great line. "Loser." And she laughs, laughs and laughs as Galaxia is torn between anger and boggling at her as she fades away.