#most of my current frustrations is this One Class. bc the teacher made an A = 97% or higher.

[phosphorus-noodles]

i hope you feel better! i know it might not be helpful, but drinking water and sleep can solve a handful of issues lmao.

this is true!! it'll fix the sickness at least ahjdskfs- i'm usually pretty good with water but i haven't washed my water bottle yet so the drinking rates are reaching critical lows 😔💔

thank you for this, i appreciate it 🫶 /gen

edit: I SAVED THIS AS A DRAFT INSTEAD OF POSTING IT WAHFJDHFJS- still thanks for this, i did sleep and drink lotsa water and now i'm normal again <33

[sunshine-and-pink-skies]

Have I even talked to y'all about this school year?

No?

Okay well, I did get to switch to the older kids SpEd class (3-5) like I wanted. My teacher friend who teaches the class fought to get me. We've worked together before and she knew we'd get along great.

And we do. We're like peanut butter and jelly. She let's me teach some and treats me like an equal and she takes care of all the paper works and it's the best of both worlds. And if your like ??? I have a middle grades teaching degree but chose not to teach but be a Special Education (SpEd) aide. I loved the teaching but all the paperwork on top of it was overwhelming. So my job is perfect for me.

And we communicate wonderfully. And I can trust that she'll listen to me and help when I have concerns and deal with them. And she doesn't get annoyed when I randomly burst into song or whatever bc of my ADHD. She's completely understands. I rarely feel the need to apologize for my randomness. And even if I do apologize she like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ "its okay, I'm use to it." Hey, sometimes my random singing gets the kids singing too. And its all fun. 🤣

And most of the time I feel like this is exactly where I'm meant to be. And if you haven't found that yet in your life I hope you do.

As far as my best aide friend, she's across the hall in the Littles class still, but we start and usually end the day together. I miss working in the same class with her though. Maybe one day.

And if you remember we added 2 Emotional Disorder SpEd classes to our school this year. That's been . . . Interesting.

We had a LOT of problems in the beginning of the year with their aides not doing their jobs properly (not being on time, not showing up for their kids, not helping with the mornings/dismissal duties) and me and my BaF would have to pick up all the slack. So we felt like we were doing our jobs AND theirs. And their teachers REFUSED to talk to them. And would get told "you need to be team players" by our team lead bc she was overwhelmed and didn't want to deal with it either. 🙄 we spent August to November completely frustrated and annoyed. I might have (okay, totally did) have a angry outburst about it. but my teacher stepped in and we finally managed to find a balance.

And we got a new assistant principal this year and she's literally THE BEST! If anything happened to her I'd cry. She's so great with the kids. And deals with ALL the behavior problems and she's solid and dependable.

Anyway back to my class we have one child who causes constant chaos, CONSTANT. It's the biggest challenge. And it makes the days SO HARD. But team work makes the dream work. We're trying hard to get them the help they need. And a couple weeks ago we were given ANOTHER problem child. Who does NOT get along with the other one. And currently their bad behaviors are rubbing off on all our other students. Bc they were already overwhelmed with problem child 1. The fact there's another one is too much. 😐 So it's taking a LOT of patience to find a peace. Note my SpEd class consists of NORMAL children who need extra help to learn. Behaviors are literally another class.

And if you made it this far send good thoughts/prayers to the teacher of the Littles. They're currently out sick. And it looks like they're not going to be coming back this school year. The school is currently trying to hire some one for the position. Hopefully they will find someone as you might know SpEd teachers are in short supply.

[ackerfics]

hi! i don’t know if you’re taking requests but if you are would you be interested in a soulmate au with mikasa. i adore soulmates au a lot! mikasa x fem!reader (aot cast reincarnated into the modern world and they get to have a happy and not stressful life)

she is half of my soul, as the poets say  — mikasa ackerman

— mikasa ackerman x female reader (soulmate au)

— warnings: none, just fluff

— summary: you finally found each other.

— word count: 3.2k

— author’s notes: thank you so much for the request !! i hope you enjoy reading this because i had a blast putting this all together. plus, i couldn't help but place a quote from 'the song of achilles' bc that was a masterpiece.

Underwater.

Your surroundings were submerged in the depths of the ocean to you.

The professor in front of the lecture hall continued his lesson in a cacophony of white noise. The occasional flipping of textbooks and the clacking of the keyboard droned, a majority of the students tried taking down what the middle-aged man was reciting. You should be doing those, too, but there was something about your day that made you want to skip class and bury yourself in a mound of blankets. The air-conditioning wasn’t helping at all, it just made you drift away, even more, images of flying people and humanoid giants flickering through your mind. Even your vision was becoming blurry as you stared at the seat in front of you, not noticing how your Ethics professor dismissed your class with a reminder of the paper that was due the following week. You were still seated as most of the students stood up, eager to spend the rest of their day inside their dormitories and apartments.

“[Name].” Somebody called out to you but the raw feeling of swinging in midair acted like a bubble, keeping you from going back to reality. The voice groaned in frustration at your lack of response. “Earth to [Name]! Hey, wake up!”

You shook out of your stupor with a blink, turning your head slowly at the person waiting for you. You took in her casual attire, so different from the daydream you were in. At first, you didn’t know about your whereabouts, making you look around the lecture hall — empty except for the two of you and the professor at front. The feeling of confusion once again dominated your sound mind as you breathed out, “Where am I? I thought I was just outside in this desert and I was surrounded by people who were crying like they were a hopeless case. Then there was someone screaming my name, saying they wouldn’t let me go.”

The person pursed their lips, concerned and slightly creeped out at the nonsense coming out of your mouth. There weren’t any deserts near you right now because you two were in the middle of the city, inside a university. The way you phrased those words sounded like a plot from an apocalyptic movie you were bound to binge during academic breaks. There were accounts scattered around the internet about reincarnation that the person drank in the early hours of dawn when they couldn’t go to sleep but witnessing it in front of them, was another whole level of conspiracy theories. A hand was planted on your shoulder, your friend smiling sympathetically at you, knowing that you sometimes have these episodes inside your shared apartment. The look you gave them was enough to erase the wariness bubbling in your friend’s stomach, which spurred them to gather your things and placing them inside your backpack. Your friend worked in silence, however, they were aware of the stare you never took off from the side of their head.

“In case you don’t remember me,” your friend looked up at you with a twinkle of mischief in their irises, “I’m Hitch and I’m your roommate.” She was speaking to you as if you were a toddler, something that made annoyance tickle your chest.

“Hitch?” You mumbled, looking down on your lap for a solid minute until you gasped out loud, the sound echoing inside the lecture hall without any warning. The professor looked up from his seat, glare already in place at the disruption you caused. You buried your face in your hands, face erupting in hues of red because of the embarrassment creeping in your throat. “Oh, my God, don’t tell me I did it again.”

Hitch nodded with a shrug. “I mean, I’m used to your episodes but it always amazed me how you wake up from them all disoriented.” Finishing with her task of tidying your bag, she pulled on your arm. “I think I should record whatever you say next time, this could be my viral moment.” When you gave her a dry glare, she laughed. “Oh, come on, think of the possibilities! But pushing that aside, let’s have dinner first.”

“Hitch, it’s only four in the afternoon.”

She scoffed lightheartedly. “We can always have a midnight snack later. Right now, I’m craving something savory.” The two of you went outside the lecture hall’s door, not missing the look of relief from your Ethics professor as you linked your arm with Hitch’s. She turned to you expectantly. “Any ideas for dinner, bub?”

There was a churning feeling inside your stomach, very much like those life-and-death situations during exams where you rely on your gut for the correct answer if the test includes multiple-choice questions. This time, instead of the nagging voice telling you to encircle the first choice, your gut was telling you to head to the café near your university. Aside from their famous coffee blends and teas (the latter being one of their specialties), the café houses a variety of dishes in its menu, which doesn’t make them a café anymore but the owner still insisted that they’ll be known as that establishment. It was more of a restaurant than your regular coffee shop, making it a hit among the students in the University of Eldia, where a majority of the student body was either caffeine-dependent or reliant on fast food take-outs. The quaint café owned by Levi Ackerman was the perfect solution to yours and Hitch’s grumbling stomachs. 

“How about the café just outside of uni?” You suggested, hoping that Hitch will consider the idea.

The said girl hummed, a finger placed on her chin. “The one owned by that grumpy short-stack?” 

“Hey, that’s rude.”

Hitch shrugged without care, hoisting her tote bag up to her shoulder. “Even his cousin calls him that, you know?” At your raised eyebrow, all Hitch could do was laugh at your adorable, clueless expression. Between the two of you, the light-haired girl was the social butterfly in your friendship and you wouldn’t be surprised if she even had an inkling of the gossips happening around your year level. 

“Relax, his cousin is a good person (that is if she doesn’t kill you with her blank stare), along with their little friendship circle. I must say, all of them look so adorable. You remember Annie, right?” She continued when she saw you nod, the mention of the blonde made you remember your time when the three of you shared your apartment. It was a good kind of chaotic, the three of you balancing out each other’s personalities. Annie was always the indifferent one, Hitch the most sociable, and you being the mediator of the two. “She’s dating one of Mikasa’s friends, Armin. Mikasa is the cousin, by the way, and I can clearly see the resemblance between her and the café’s owner. With the permanent scowl and all.”

“Uh-huh.”

You didn’t know what to do with the information so you only hummed and nodded your head every time Hitch spewed out a couple of trivia involving people you have heard down the hallways or being called during roll-calls. She even told you how one of Mikasa’s friends, Sasha Braus, was reprimanded for eating inside the class of an infamous terror teacher, which landed the girl on that professor’s blacklist. The girl, Sasha, was actually in one of your classes but you never really talked to her, all of your attention poured out into absorbing what the teacher relayed in the class. All of Hitch's ramblings spanned the entirety of your walk to the café — a talent your roommate has that amazed you every time it happened. 

The smell of cinnamon greeted you once you stepped inside the café, the homey decorations making your heart warm in an instant. There were a couple of college students in separate tables, all of them draping their textbooks and readings in front of them, headphones plugged in despite the soothing background music brought by the café’s speakers. Now that you mention it in your head, midterms were coming up in a month and you hadn’t started organizing your revisions. As your mind was filled with the scent of flowers and coffee, Hitch tugged on the sleeves of your blouse, your light-haired friend wordlessly gesturing her head towards one of the empty tables overlooking the window showing the small garden beside the café. You nodded and flashed a thumbs-up, already knowing what Hitch’s order is the number of times she went home with take-outs from this establishment.

Thinking that you should order something for a change, you looked up at the menu board above the counter. With your order listed in your mind, you faced the person manning the counter, ready to relay your order to her. What greeted you, though, wasn’t a smiling cashier, instead, wide gray eyes stared at you with a slacked jaw — irises flecked with an emotion that sent your heart lurching inside your chest. She was a tall girl with muscles in the right places, black hair styled in a pixie cut that made you appreciate her features more. You faintly recalled that she was in one of your majors, which should explain the air of familiarity surrounding her. Her hands on the small notepad hovered over the current lilac paper, her posture rod straight as her breath hitched while staring into you. You weren’t sure what made her react like that so you slightly tilted your head back to look at the booths behind you. Hitch caught your eyes, raising her eyebrow in a silent question. Facing the counter attendant again, you were shocked to see that star-like tears were decorating her eyelashes, chapped lips wobbly. 

It felt like you’ve seen that expression too many times but you were sure this was the first time you saw her face to face.

“Oi, Mikasa, why are you stalling?” A short black-haired man entered the space behind the counter, arms crossed and gaze questioning as he took in the breaking form of his employee. “It’s been a full minute and you still didn’t take the customer’s order.” 

“Can I stay in the breakroom for a while?”

Your breath was taken away at the sound of her voice. It sounded like all four seasons were present in the soft-spoken tone she carried, very different from her tough physical appearance. You were left staring at her back, chest nearly bursting open because of how fast your heart pounded just from that sentence. Images of late-night trysts played in your head; of secret kisses that created an ocean of emotions inside you; of eyes looking at each other with tendrils of hope before the gates open, death beckoning you in its arms; of desperate promises, neither person could ever keep. All of them were so familiar and nostalgic that a swarm of butterflies was starting to infest your ribs and chest, sprouting flowers that clogged your throat from speaking. 

Levi glanced at you, eyes analyzing your form with a hint of concern for his relative and wondering what made Mikasa act like that. “Sure, go ahead, brat, your friends are at the back. Hello, ma’am, I’ll be taking your order.”

“Oh, sure,” you murmured before beginning to list down the food you and Hitch will be indulging in, eyes curiously staring at the girl going inside the breakroom. “Uhm, is she going to be alright?” You tried asking Levi, who only looked at you with a raised eyebrow. “It looks like she had a fright here.”

“It’s the first time I saw her in that state, to be honest,” Levi simply answered, with no room for other discussions. “Your drinks will be served shortly.” He gave you a small gadget, his pointer finger pushing a button on the device, making it light up in a blinding red. “Once your drinks are ready, this will light up and you can get it here on the counter. Thank you for your patronage.”

“Thank you, too.”

It was only when you seated yourself in front of Hitch that you realized Mikasa’s voice sounded like the one always shouting your name in your daydreams, failing to keep the promise of never letting you go.

-

Mikasa was a mess.

First, before waking up for her 7 A.M. class one autumn day, she was haunted by the memories of her previous life (or this is what Armin told her, with him also remembering being born again from a different timeline, another universe altogether rather). In that more outdated version of this world, they were on the constant grapple with these beings called Titans. Her dreams became more complex the more time passed by as these Titans disappeared, replacing with it a looming war between two countries. Her daydreams always resulted in tear-stained cheeks, eyes then finding her best friend who started a mass genocide in their previous lives, Eren. When Mikasa remembered that part of her last life, she would often find herself staring deeply at the side of Eren’s head, resulting in the brown-haired man complaining about her soulless eyes. It looked like Eren didn’t remember it, which nearly drove Mikasa mad. 

Until that day Eren came up to her after a three-hour lecture, all haggard with his man-bun in disarray, and shouting, “I’m so sorry for laughing at you, Mikasa! I had a dream during a lecture of those titan things you and Armin are talking about. I believe you!”

Second, the warmth of somebody was a constant in balancing out the horrors of her daydreams. Among the carnage, a body fitting against hers with the morning rays passing through the slit of the windows was a sight she didn’t want to wake up from. Threads of soft hair tickled her cheek, making way for an unforgettable shade of irises that she compared to the crystals they found underneath the Reiss estate. A smile so vibrant that it paled in comparison to the blue expanse of unknown waters they saw after killing all the Titans in Paradis. The smell of freshly picked flowers lingered in the air, acting like the comforting blanket Mikasa had when she was young. At first, she couldn’t see the face of the person but as the episodes became more vivid, Mikasa finally saw the woman of her dreams. 

Pulchritudinous — that’s what you are.

After that encounter with you in the café, Mikasa immediately talked everything out with her two friends.

“So you’re saying that you kind of knew her but you don’t?” Eren pointed out after a spoonful of ice cream. “This is some conspiracy theory shit right here.”

“Eren,” Armin sighed. “This is not one of those videos you watch at 3 A.M., okay?” The blonde glanced at the last member of their little trio, who was pacing in front of them with a queasy expression on her face. “Mikasa, I know you feel like you’re in a pinch but please calm down.”

Eren leaned forward and took a spoonful of ice cream from the tub on the low table. “It’s no use, Armin. You know Mikasa.” He nodded his head towards the said girl. “Once she enters that state, we can’t do anything about it.”

“I know,” Armin trailed off, dejected.

Mikasa buried her hands through her hair. “This was so unexpected.”

“Clearly,” Eren dryly stated.

The blue-eyed boy beside him instantly hit the back of his head. “Eren!”

Mikasa stopped pacing, not hearing how Eren exclaimed ‘finally’, her face and neck erupting in a warm shade of red that made her two friends exchange a concerned glance. Placing a hand on her pounding chest, she murmured with half-lidded eyes, “She’s much more beautiful than my dreams depicted her to be.”

Armin breathed out a silent ‘oh’ while Eren snickered, “Great, she turned into a simp,” to which the former slapped another hand at the back of the green-eyed boy’s head.

“That explains it,” the black-haired girl exclaimed. “There were times where a voice inside my head tells me to be at this specific place at a specific time.” (“I’m concerned,” Eren stage-whispered to Armin.) “While applying for this university, I had a feeling that I should take up medical sciences. Every time I’m at the campus, I will always find myself in the library after five o’clock and there are instances that I would search the tables. And you guys know how I hate helping Levi in the café.” Eren and Armin nodded as if they were children. “I just realized that she was always there, I can see her now. Why did I miss her when all this time, I was meant to find her? And now that she’s finally in the café right when I told Levi that I felt like helping the shop, I ran away! I’m such an idiot!” Mikasa then sunk on one of the plush chairs, her groans mingling with the gloomy atmosphere she created.

“You’re not an idiot, Mikasa,” Armin told her, to which she replied with an aggravated groan.

“Yeah, you’re not an idiot, you’re just having a gay panic moment,” Eren casually announced. Both of his friends slowly turned their heads toward him. He stared right back, blinking as he shrugged. “You have to admit, I’m not wrong.”

“You’re not helping right now.”

“I’m just stating a fact, Armin!”

The blonde boy rolled his eyes. “So what are you going to do about this, Mikasa?”

“About Eren?”

“No,” Armin shook his head. “Eren will be fine with his two brain cells.”

“Hey, I’m right here.”

Armin rolled his eyes and fixed his gaze on his gray-eyed best friend. “So are you going to tell [Name] that you two are star-crossed lovers pre-destined since your previous lives?”

The confidence she gained the day before during that conversation with her childhood friends dissipated as Mikasa awkwardly stood in the middle of the university’s library, eyes widely staring at you, who was browsing the shelves for the reference material for your papers. She didn’t expect to meet you this suddenly. All she was supposed to do was borrow a reference material and there she realized that the two of you share the same major so most of your schedule line up with one another — the both of you share a free period. Almost as if you were surrounded by a magnetic field, Mikasa went in your direction, her heart matching her footsteps. Meters became feet as she looked at your captivating figure. Even with a shirt tucked inside a pair of jeans, you are still the most beautiful girl inside the library. 

And as you lifted your gaze, your glinting irises meeting her gray ones, Mikasa swore her orbit was waiting for this moment to be tilted to you.

Tears were immediately present in your eyes when she stood in front of you, it was as if you remembered her.

“Hey,” Mikasa breathed shakily, hands gripping the strap of her backpack.

“Hey, starlight.”

That nickname. The one you blurted out when Mikasa invited you stargazing in the meadow beside the Survey Corps Headquarters. You said it suited her because her eyes reminded you of the glow of the stars forming a canopy above you. But for her, you were brighter than any star in the sky, you were an entire cosmos altogether. “You became a part of me the moment I laid my eyes on you in our town. Right then and there — wherever you go, I’ll go. Because I know, I’m a part of you as well.”

“You finally found me.”

You are half of her soul, as the poets say, and the Fates will do everything in their power that it stays like that for eternity. 

[m-feys]

OK NEURODIVERGENT GAANG TIME BC I WANNA

these hcs are kinda halfway set in a modern au bc thats my context for this ! (gonna split it up so its not as long bc i drafted the original and it was LONG) water tribe siblings first !!!

Sokka

adhd/autism king 😌

[ID: a screenshot of Sokka standing on a raised stone platform with a map of the Fire nation hanging behind him. He’s holding his arms stiffly by his side with a wide-eyed look on his face, brows raised as he has his mouth open, saying something. End ID.]

- schedules to survive, he likes to know what hes getting into and if you try to change plans on him without warning he’ll be very resistant

- smart kid who doesnt study, oh he tries, oh boy does he try, he ends up reading the same sentence over and over until he gets distracted by drawing something, working on the blueprint for his latest invention, or with researching something completely unrelated to what he’s mean to be studying. then he tosses and turns all night because he’s stressed by not having studied, but when he actually takes the test he makes a 105, despite there not even being a bonus question, he just answered the essay question so well the teacher gave him an extra 5 points

- special interests?? we got em!!! classic weaponry (think swords, boomerangs, but also, like canons and catapults and shit) engineering/physics, art/drawing, strategy games. he tends to hyperfocus within his special interests, so like for a week he was hellbent on building his own full sized trebuchet, much to the dismay of Gran Gran who just wanted to grow her tomatoes without them being crushed by said full size trebuchet

- (also he plays all types of games probably, but he def plays those ones where you take over the world, like the ones online and azula also plays them too and they end up being rivals, while not actually knowing who the other is outside of their usernames)

- he also talks a lot in his classes/is like the ‘class clown’ and ppl think this is him not focusing but engaging this way actually helps him focus way more than sitting silently, a lot of teachers dont understand it but the ones who do are actually paying attention and realize that he’s generally talking/joking about their current topic

- some observations (this shit is all canon babey!!!) - sokka is great at being a leader and communicating in groups he’s in but he really really struggles in front of crowds, one-on-one and sokka can talk well, joke and stuff but as soon as he’s separate from other people and everyone is just listening he clams up (solar eclipse pt 1). he also loves to joke and make people laugh, and a lot of the time he misinterprets stuff because he’s autistic but he also will realize this and do it anyway because he thinks it’s funny and he likes laughing with his friends (idk if this happens in canon but i do this and sokka does too bc i said so :^). He also takes up the protector/comforting role but despite his best intentions he can sometimes say insensitive stuff and not even realize what he’s done to upset people (when he happily told aang ‘the whole world thinks your dead!’) works best when he feels needed, if he feels unnecessary or like something doesnt matter he struggles to complete it (i feel like the beginning of sokka’s master rlly demonstrates what i mean here), and this goes both ways, he will put too much value into certain things that he cares about and can get his priorities mixed if he’s focused too much on what he believes matters more than what might be most pressing (zuko destroyed his suki sculpture, oh right bc he was attacking aang)

Katara

she also has adhd/autism, (so do both Hakoda and Kya 💙)

[ID: a screenshot of Katara, Hakoda, Sokka, and Bato. Hakoda has his hand on Katara’s shoulder as they both look at Bato who is saying something, she has curious look on her face with her brows raised, while Hakoda looks exasperated. Sokka beside him his also looking curiously up at Bato, with one brow raised and the other furrowed. Bato has a neutral expression on his face as he speaks. End ID.]

- palms sweaty thoughts spaghetti, she tries to be practical bc she thinks someone needs to be but really her brain is like a runaway train, she sees something that needs doing and is like, guess ill do that now! and drops whatever she was doing first. she can get very anxious because of this because all the thing that need doing start to pile up because theyre all in her brain at once. that and as much as she tries to be practical she’s very impulsive, getting help from other people really helps alleviate this stuff

- interacting w ppl, when she was only part of her own smaller community she had a lot less toll on her, bc she knew everyone and was used to them, as she meets more people she gets really frustrated with how many people seem to refuse to say what they really mean. Katara is very straightforward herself and she says what she means, so even tho she gets more and more perceptive when interacting with new people, she resents how much she has to work just to decipher what people really mean half the time.

- caring for ppl, with people she cares about communicating is much easier bc she knows them, so she’s very open about her feelings around these people, and she can be hyper empathetic at times, but then sometimes she will say SUPER insensitive stuff off the cuff because she’s just very impulsive and she might regret it after the fact but she really struggles with apologizing because being wrong makes her feel like ppl are going to reject her

- perceptions, she knows what’s expected of her by the world, but she really rejects the idea that she has to stay in her role. still, she has internalized a lot of these expectations and tries to perform them, even when she sometimes struggles. beyond herself, she’s very certain about what she knows is wrong and has a strong moral code, she sees something wrong and she wants to fix it.

- she’s awful in school, not because she’s not smart, but she’s smart in ways that society does not appreciate. she doesnt care at all about all the worksheets and math she’s never gonna use, and all the history that got distorted, she’s much better at learning stuff on her own and she will go on deep dives of subjects she cares about and is super knowledgeable abt them.

also:

[ID: A cropped screenshot of Sokka with his arms extended outwards, palms flat as he gestures. He has a slight grin on his face with his mouth open to speak, eyebrows raised and looking at the viewer calmly. He’s wearing his usual blue tunic with the Earth Rumble XI belt along with his earth kingdom bag hanging across his chest. The text on the image says, “This post made by ADHD Sokka gang. End ID.]

[ID: a cropped screenshot of Hakoda, he has a serious expression on his face as he looks ahead. The text on the post reads, “This post made by ADHD Hakoda gang.” End ID.]

from this post (part of what inspired me to write these out) @meteor-sword​ now just katara needs one 😄

adhd aang next, i will finally live up to my url (will edit with a link when i post)

[firelord-frowny]

sad blah blah

almost unanimously, people have only ever said extraordinary or at least good things about me. anyone who’s ever seen me do anything, whether it’s writing related, music related, performance related in general, or intellect, no one has ever reacted to me with “meh.” 

i went to college on a talent based scholarship that i barely even had to apply for. literally, immediately after my audition, i somehow wound up mentioning that i had missed the deadline for the scholarship application or something. the entire panel of judges FLIPPED OUT and basically demanded that i go complete the application right away because they wanted me bad. 

in my first semester, we had to work with some local ~professional artists~ in baltimore and one of our assignments was to complete some sort of art project that explored the concept of ~refuse versus environment~ or something like that. We were supposed to complete it over the course of a week and then bring it to our next meeting with the artist. i did my project ON THE BUS while we were on our way to that meeting. I scribbled a few stream-of-consciousy paragraphs about... something lmao i don’t remember. but i read it out loud to my group and then the artist spent like a solid 15 minutes gushing about how ~in all his years of being an art professor at some of the most distinguished programs in the world, he’s never heard such an elegant and artful take on blah blah blah~. 

the president of my university???? asked me personally to come and perform at his home for fancy events with other Important People like donors and politicians and researchers??? and like. this man had a whole “60 Minutes” special about what a critical role he’s had in using education to strengthen communities. this man sat at tables with obama while he was in office. he paraded me around to other Important People and talked about what an outstanding artist i was, my sparkly personality, my ~delightful wackiness~, blah blah. 

Not one, not two, not three, but FOUR professors who were all world-class musicians at a festival i attended, singled me out as particularly gifted. the kinds of shit they were saying to me in front of everyone did not get said to anyone else. 

when i was at Tanglewood, even though i fucking sucked because i clearly hadn’t practiced all the music, all my chamber coaches STILL made sure to let me (and the other people in my groups???) know that i was the more skilled player in the ensembles. I wound up having to sit last chair at one of the concerts because there had been some miscommunication that led to the directors thinking i was leaving the program (i was super homesick and had been asking my parents to come get me), and despite that fact, after the concert, the conductor - who had never even spoken a word to me personally - made sure to hunt me down in the crowd as everyone was leaving, and tell me what an outstanding player he thought i was, and that he felt lucky to have had me in his orchestra. 

i spent a summer at Summit Chamber Music Festival in upstate new york. the skill level among the students ranged from Laughably Inept to Why Aren’t You At The Curtis Institute. I was by FAR not the worst player there, but I also definitely felt like I was nowhere near the best. But the program director specifically, deliberately placed me in the highest level orchestra, surrounded by players who were fully capable of playing shit like paganini and weiniawski and whatnot. When he wanted to put together a small chamber group, he pointedly selected me to play 1st chair. My string quintet included 3 other string players who were lightyears better than me. Yet our coach frequently turned to me to demonstrate the ~right way~ to play a lot of the more difficult passages. And like... I was the 2nd violinist lmao. It’s almost aallllways the 1st violinist that coaches will ask to demonstrate stuff for the rest of the group. but he asked me. every time. our quintet was ultimately selected to close out the entire festival, a la Saving The Best For Last. The pianist in my quintet, according to his mom, thought i was incredible. this pianist was a bona fide prodigy and he thought i was incredible.

LITERALLYYYYYY everywhere I’ve ever performed, everyone has been so impressed with me. directors of major musical organizations have always made a point to get my name and contact info because “we’ll definitely be contacting you for more work.”  

Everyone who’s ever seen me teach violin thinks I’m uncommonly good at it. i mean, i’m no galamian, duh, but apparently i’m able to get students to sound better than the average teacher can.  

everyone who read my first screenplay claimed to be floored by it. i spontaneously read some of my prose at an open mic night and uh, accidentally snatched the show right out from under the featured artists' feet. 

I used to act???? and was pretty fucking good at it?? I starred in a small handful of local plays? i was cast in ~large roles~ in everything i ever auditioned for. 

my talents in visual art are decidedly Well Above Average. 

i have such a fucking long list of things people think are outstanding about me, and an incredibly long list of people who have bothered to tell me that i’m outstanding, and it makes me feel so fucking sad and frustrated bc like....

lmao why the fuuuUUUUCCCKKKKK does it continue to be so difficult to find anyone who feels like giving me any legit career opportunities?? Even when they’re aware that i’m available?? and willing?? 

i’ll have a 10 minute conversation in which a professor or a director or a coordinator is telling me all about how impressed they are by my skills at Whatever, and how i should do This and i should do That and i should go Here and i should go There and then they ask me where i’m currently working/what i’m currently doing, and i say, “oh, you know, mostly freelance gigs and lessons as i’m looking for full time opportunities,” and then they say “cool! good luck!” and leave. 

i feel sad and confused and delusional. if im so fucking great, why aren’t people reaching back when i reach out in search of a means to earn a fucking living?? 

i know the short answer is that i still don’t ~put myself out there~ and i give up too easily. but also like... i have BEEN out there. the total positive experiences i’ve had with influential superiors over the years have been plentiful and frequent enough that SOMEBODY should have wanted me to contribute something substantial to whatever programs they represent.

and since i feel like i must be delusional and that i must not actually be such hot shit and that everyone is lying to me to spare my feelings, it makes me not even want to try harder bc i’ll wind up discovering for certain that everyone thinks i’m trash. 

what do i have to doooooooo to find The Right Opportunity other than reach out to the same people who told me how phenomenal i am? i make sure Potential Employers see/hear me being fantastic. i apply for jobs in their organization if i know they’re hiring. if i know they’re not hiring, i at least convey that i’d be interested in possibly working with them. but nobody reaches back.

i’m so good at things and i feel like a fucking deadbeat loser lmaoooooo

maybe they don’t actually know that i’m fucking jobless??? lmao maybe they’re assuming that i must already be active in a real career? maybe i need to literally TELL them as they’re praising me, “i’m unemployed and i need a job, do you know of any full time opportunities you could point me to?” but i feel like people think it’s a ~red flag~ when a potential employee doesn’t already have a steady job??? but also... how the fuck is anyone ever supposed to get a steady job if nobody’s willing to hire them because they don’t have a steady job???

i feel Stupid and i think that whenever i finally get the fucking resolve to start therapy again, i’m gonna just show this whole ass rant to my therapist. 

[etherealino]

kisses, lmh

‣ synopsis: time passes by, his kisses evolve and so does your relationship with him.

‣ genre:  college au, fluff, angst (if you squint)

‣ warning(s):  swearing, guy tryna force reader to like him (more like they fight actually), reader gets in a fight but i didn’t really described it lmao. shshshs im sorryyyy

‣ word count: 8k+

‣ note: this is unproofread!! please, i said to myself i was not going to post another minho fic for a whole ass month or so but i was feeling it and this is the only thing i could write for. also, this is like the softest fic i’ve ever written. also, if you’re confused with reader’s course,, that’s fine bcs me too but somewhere in the music field lmao i honestly wrote this in a very unorganized way, sigh

one. – accidental kiss

hwang: y/n, where are you??

you: main gate, why?

hwang: the professor’s looking for you! didn’t you promise him last semester you wouldn’t be late anymore?

Oh, shit. You sigh. Honestly? The only reason why you made that promise was because you thought he wouldn’t be your professor anymore this semester. And seriously, it’s the first day of the second semester, who would have a class right away? Right, your torturous of a professor.

You ran, not minding anything but to get into class right away. You wanted to just flip everything over right in front of your professor. You can rant and rant about his shitty attitude, his large ass nose for being nosy about everything, his love for humiliating his students right in front of the whole entire class. You can rant about how you wanted to kick his shin, throw him across the river, slap him with the 1000 word handwritten essay paper right in front of the whole class. But you know it in yourself, you won’t. You have to forget how much of a war freak you are because you need to pass his class.

Pent up frustration being in your mind, you finally stepped on your building turning to the corner to the stairs only to bump into something. Or rather, someone. You felt something soft and gentle against your lips when you bumped into that person and you sigh, bending down to pick the person’s book up.

The person didn’t move an inch, still standing in his position where you bumped into. Weird. usually, a person would bend down, too, to pick their book up. You stood up, looking up to see someone gorgeous. Lee Minho. Ever since you entered the university, you had this huge crush on him and you won’t even deny it if someone asks you.

The sun rays that entered through the transparent window enlightened his brown hazelnut eyes and highlighted his features. But why is his hand over his lips?

Oh, shit.

You put a hand over your own lips. Shit. You accidentally kissed Lee Minho.

Not being able to say anything, you ran off going to your class.

Minho stood still, his eyes wide as you ran off. he shared a conversation or two with you from the past years being in the university, but you two never really became close. Whenever there are times that there are close opportunities the two of you would be left alone and when he’s about to strike up a conversation, a block mate of yours would come and get you needing you for something.

Minho runs his hand through his face and up to his hair as he looks around, hoping no one sees how red his cheeks are currently. He starts to walk and in the middle of his small journey to his class, then he stops as he suddenly realized something. He looks back to where the incident happened.

Shit. You have his book.

two. – kiss on the hand

After that very humiliating incident that happened, you would always avoid Minho everytime you see him ahead of you. As for the book, you asked Hyunjin to return Minho’s book. Of course, Hyunjin being a teasing friend would ask. “Why do you have his book?”

You blinked, stammering. “W-What?”

“I said, why do you have his book?” Hyunjin asks with a teasing smile on his face. You wanted to slap it off.

“I saw it on the ground and it has his name on it.” You said with a shrug. Hyunjin smirks and you really want to slap him. He doesn’t even know about your crush on Minho and he’s here making you flustered about Minho.

“Where?” Hyunjin asks.

“What?”

“Where is his name?” Hyunjin asks and you looked at the book. It has no name on it. But you were too embarrassed about your encounter with Minho.

“Look, I saw him drop it and when I picked it up he was already gone. I don’t even know why I said I saw his name there.” You said and shoved the book on Hyunjin’s hands. You look behind Hyunjin when you see Minho coming your way. Shit, he looks so good. Black jeans, white shirt, a denim jacket and his backpack slung on one shoulder as he walks and most likely, Minho would speak to Hyunjin since they’re very close friends. And most likely, you would get all bashful around him.

“I’m gonna get going,” you say, turning around, but Hyunjin grabs your arm.

“Hey, we have the same class, remember?” Hyunjin says. “Let’s go together, chill. We won’t go late.” You bit your lip, thinking of something stupid to get away from him. Then, you looked up.

“You see that, Jin?” You ask, pointing at the ceiling as a way to distract the tall boy.

“What?” Hyunjin asks as his grip loosens, his head tilting up to look where you pointed. You pull your hand off and ran away from your friend. Hyunjin’s eyes widen, following your every move as you push your way past through the crowd, clumsily bumping into someone occasionally.

“Hey,” Hyunjin hears as a pat on his shoulder was placed. Minho smiles at him, leaning his shoulder against the wall as he looks at Hyunjin.

“Hey,” Hyunjin smiles and his eyes land on the book he’s holding. “Is this yours?”

Minho looks at the book and sees that it was the book you took with you when the embarrassing encounter happened. “Yeah, how’d you got it?” Minho asks as he takes the book.

“Y/N saw you dropped it and she asked me to give it to you,” Hyunjin explains and Minho’s hand comes up at the back of his neck.

“R-Really?” Minho says.

“Yeah,” Hyunjin said. “You took up literature, right?”

“Yeah, Mrs. Kim.” Minho answers and Hyunjin smiles widely.

“Great, we’re having the same class.” Hyunjin says and Minho grins. Hyunjin decides that it was time for them to go now so they wouldn’t be late for the class. Hyunjin and Minho walk together, talking about the most random things the boys could think about. When they arrived at the lecture hall, Hyunjin immediately spots you sat on the back at the very corner on the window.

Hyunjin comes to you, taking the seat beside you as Minho follows him. Minho sees you and his first instinct was to look away. “Hey, Y/N,” Hyunjin says. “Why were you rushing earlier?”

“B-Because I feel like it.” You dumbly answer and Minho chuckles to himself quietly, knowing that you probably saw him coming ahead and that you were just as embarrassed as he was.

“Guess what?” Hyunjin asked.

“What?”

“Minho’s in the class, too!”

ring.

You looked down to your phone, seeing Jisung called. thank, God. “Look, Jisung called.” you said and you stood up from your seat, taking your phone with you as you exit the classroom and answered Jisung’s call.

Minho sighs in relief, still not ready to face you after the embarrassing happening.

When the professor enters the class, so did you. You put your phone to silent and started to pay attention to the professor in front.

“I want you guys to act out Romeo and Juliet by pair,” your professor started after the greeting. “Each pair would act out each scene. This class is for two hours, right? One hour for practice and the other half for presentation. Are we clear?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Okay, for the pairs,” Mrs. Kim started to announce and you weren’t paying attention, really. until your last name was called. “Y/L/N and Lee, act 1 scene 5.”

What? No, no, no, no, no. Lee? As in Lee Minho?

“Oh, wait. Sorry.” Mrs. Kim says. “There are two Lee’s in the class.”

Please, be Felix. Please, please, be Felix. You silently prayed, hands clutching against each other underneath your desk. You’d do anything—everything, just not do a project with Lee Minho, a guy you accidentally kissed and to make it even worse, on the lips. Although, wow, his lips were soft and gentle. Even if you didn’t realize it at first, his lips are soft. But it was—

“Y/L/N with Lee Minho.”

No! You look at your partner who was just a sit apart from you. He looks.. unaffected. Maybe you should be, too? I mean, it’s already been a week since it happened. But no, it was too embarrassing. Not only did you kiss the guy’s lips, but you also brought his book with you by accident. You bit your lip, holding everything in your power to not slam your head against your desk.

“Okay, go to your partners.” The professor announced. You sighed, standing up. You look to where Minho is, but he was already right in front of you.

Minho cleared his throat, his cheeks growing pinkish red. “H-Hi,” he mumbled as he stuttered all over and you wave, your cheeks growing red, too, knowing that if you speak, you will most likely embarrass yourself again. “You know what act 1 scene 5 is?” He asks. As time passed by, things got less awkward, the incident went at the back of your mind, not touching it anymore. By the time the teacher announced that it was time for the presentation, You and Minho were beyond ready.

“Your hand is like a holy place that my hand is unworthy to visit. If you’re offended by the touch of my hand, my two lips are standing here like blushing pilgrims, ready to make things better with a kiss.” Minho said with so much sincerity, goosebumps rising in your skin, feeling yourself freeze as you look at him in the eyes. He stared back as you felt yourself get lost into the galaxy of his eyes. It was then you realized, Lee Minho was more than just a college student who loves dancing. Yes, you had a crush on him since you first saw him, but it was only then you realized that maybe you always want to get lost in those galaxies in his eyes. Lee Minho is a happy person, a teasing one, they say. But when he gets to work, classes or dancing, he gets so passionate. Then suddenly, Minho takes your hand in his, giving the back of your palm a gentle kiss. You just hope Minho couldn’t feel your heart beating so fast.

But you didn’t know, Minho was feeling the same way as you are.

three. – kiss on the cheek

After the Romeo and Juliet presentation, Minho would always come with you and Hyunjin. Things got less awkward, no one brought up what happened the first day. It was lunchtime when you and the two boys met up from different classes. “I want to throw myself on the river, who wants to join?” You ask when you sit beside Hyunjin on the table. Minho and Hyunjin chuckled, smiling at you.

“What happened?” Minho asked.

“It’s just plainly tiring,” you answered, folding your arms on the table and resting your chin on your forearms as you pouted. Hyunjin rubs your back gently and you close your eyes.

“Hey, eat something,” Hyunjin said and you sigh.

“I’m fine, I’m free for the rest of the day anyway.” You said as you closed your eyes. Your phone rang and you stayed in your position, not moving one bit. Minho and Hyunjin know that you would most likely pick it up by the last ring. But no, the last ring came and you didn’t pick it up.

Hyunjin chuckles, fixing his things as he slung his bag over his shoulder. “I have to go,” Hyunjin says and you open your eyes, smiling at him. You pressed a finger to your lips and pressed it against Hyunjin’s cheek. Everyone who is close to you know that you have a habit on kissing them on the cheek whenever they would see you or go off. Hyunjin chuckles and runs a hand through your hair. “Bye, guys.”

“Bye,” you and minho said as Hyunjin walks off. Your phone rings again and this time you finally answer.

“Y/N, where are you?” Jisung asks through the phone and you could feel his pout.

“Cafeteria, why? Classes just finished.” You said as you looked around the cafeteria, thinking Jisung was probably around already. But instead, you hear Jisung huff.

“You said you’re gonna help me with the new track.” Jisung whined and your eyes widen. You totally forgot that you promised Jisung to help him.

“Oh, no. Jisung, I’m sorry. I’m on my way. Classes just finished and it was tiring.” You said with a pout. “I’ll bring something to eat, do you want anything?”

“Oh, Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t think I’d make you feel bad. I’m in my dorm, anything would be great though.” Jisung answers.

“Okay, Ji. I’ll be there soon, don’t worry. I’m so sorry.” You said.

“No! It’s okay, take your time. Bye.”

“See you.” You said and hang up, pouting. You sighed. standing up as you looked at Minho who was smiling at you. “Will you be okay being alone for now?” You asked and Minho nodded.

“Don’t worry, I can crash in my dorm. I don’t have class anymore, anyway.” Minho says and you pouted.

“I’m sorry, it’s just I promised Jisung a long time ago and—“

“Y/N,” Minho cuts you off with a giggle. “I can handle myself. Stop beating yourself up for it, okay?”

You sighed, nodding. You leant, forward, bending lightly to kiss his cheek. “Bye, Min.” You said as you ruffled his hair, walking off to Jisung’s dorm. Minho’s eyes followed you, heart pounding against his chest. He thought your friendship wasn’t on the level yet. Minho smiled. It was nice to kissed on the cheek by you once in awhile.

As for you, you were a blushing mess. It was the first time you did that and you probably got carried away. Ugh, you just wanted to press your lips against his lips and now, you got to kiss his cheek. You were just lucky you got to.

You entered Jisung’s dorm with a wide smile on your face, looking like a little girl that was given a lollipop by the doctor. “What’s that smile?” Jisung asks in a teasing manner and you shook your head, trying to suppress your lips. Jisung laughs as he pulls a chair beside him.

“Where’s the food?” Jisung asks and you make your way towards him.

“The what now?” You mumbled and Jisung raises an eyebrow.

“The food..?” Jisung says and you brush a hand through your hair, realizing you forgot that you haven’t had lunch yet and you were supposed to bring food.

You’re so hung up on Lee Minho, geez.

four. – kiss on the eyelid

The stress was finally getting into you. You hated it. Everyone hates it. But why does everyone have to dump everything to you? You’ve finally had enough of it; you were tired of being kind to everyone else and they don’t even do anything in return. A thank you would have sufficed, but no, they just got to be selfish. Did they even think that you need some time for yourself, too?

“Hey, Y/N,” you heard behind you, but you only lowered your head. Please, can someone just ignore you? You’re on the verge of letting your tears go and someone is still wanting to talk to you. You heard the person’s footsteps get nearer and nearer until you felt a hand on your shoulder. You closed your eyes, wiping the tears off. But the tears didn’t stop, it just continued to fall. “Y/N?”

Soon, you felt the hand turning you around and you looked away in hopes that they would not notice your tears. They grabbed you by your cheeks and softly, they turned your head towards them. Minho. “What happened?” He softly asks and you shook your head, your eyes avoiding his. Minho only pulled you in a hug and you wrapped your arms around his waist, crying your frustrations out. After a few minutes, you pulled away.

“Can you keep me company?” You ask him softly, almost mumbling and Minho does nothing but nod. You felt Minho gently dragging you somewhere, holding your hand tightly but still, you could feel the gentleness that he holds. Soon, you see that Minho has brought you to the rooftop. Minho places you in front of him and he could only watch you as you softly sob, wiping your tears with the back of your hands like a little girl.

Minho pulls your hands off your face and the tears still kept on streaming. You looked up at Minho with your red puffy eyes and he only sighs, feeling his heart shake as if it was going to shatter anytime soon at the sight. Minho wraps your arms around his waist and you comply, holding onto him as if your life depended on it—as if Minho was the only one who can hold you into pieces as you break. And at the looks of it, Minho really is the only one who can save you.

Minho cups your cheeks gently, thumbs wiping your cheeks but the tears still continued on streaming down your face. The sun was setting, the orange glow hit your face. You were so beautiful in Minho’s eyes even if you’re so broken as of now. Minho chuckles shakily, feeling his heart grow heavier as time pass by. “Hey,” he mumbles as he wipes your tears off. “Stop crying now, you look so ugly, I don’t even know who you are anymore.” Minho teases lightly, trying to lighten up the mood but you don’t stop. You only closed your eyes, shaking your head as a way to get your tears to stop. Then, you softly chuckle through the tears, lips pressing into a think line as you breathe in shakily.

Minho tilts your head, eyes closing as he places a soft delicate kiss on your eyelid. He doesn’t pull away, staying at that position for as long he feels he needs to. It was just a soft kiss, but it meant everything to you. It was Minho’s way of silently saying that he will always be with you, through your sunny, cloudy and stormy days. Always.

five. – kiss on the forehead

“Minho!” You excitedly call as you see him ahead of the hallway. The said boy turns to you, a smile coming up to his face as he sees you. You run to him, tackling him in a hug. Minho stumbles a bit backwards, but he still wraps his arms around your waist.

“Y/N, we’ve seen each other an hour ago. Did you really miss me that much?” Minho says in a teasing manner and you lightly slap his chest. You pull away, holding him at arm length.

“Minho.” You say with so much enthusiast making Minho’s heart skip a beat at how cute you are.

“Y/N.” Minho mimics and you giggle.

“Guess what?” You asked and Minho looks up, an eyebrow raised with a small smile on his lips as if he was thinking.

“Um, you’re exempted for exams?” Minho asks and you scoffed, but the smile never left your lips.

“I wish!” You said and shook you head. "I got offered for an internship for a month to work in their studio.” You said excitingly and Minho’s eyes widen. Then, slowly, a smile comes up in Minho’s face.

“Really?” Minho asks and you nod. “Where?”

“JYPE.” You said and Minho lets out a breathy laugh, grabbing your arms as he pulled you in his chest. He hugs you tightly to the point you couldn’t even hug back anymore. “Minho.. can’t.. breathe.” Minho pulls away, cupping your cheeks as he smiles widely.

“See, I told you! Something great was along the way.” Minho says and you smile, wrapping your arms around his waist. You sigh jokingly, followed by rolling your eyes.

“Okay, fine. You’re always right.” You said and Minho giggles, tilting your head lightly to kiss your forehead. A short kiss, but it felt like it was everything. Minho was the first to know, you just have this inkling feeling that Minho should be the first to know since he was always there for you. Minho suddenly turned from being the guy you’re embarrassed to face to the one you trusted the most. “Thank you for always being there, Min.”

“Always.”

six. – kiss on the temple

You frown as you seated yourself on the usual table you and Minho would sit. You’re stubborn, everyone knows that. But you may kind of know and finally admitted to yourself that the fight between you and Minho had was actually your fault. Okay, but in your defense you were shit tired, stressed and close to having a breakdown… which is why Minho gently asked you to take a break and rest for a bit, which caused you to pick a fight with him and shout at him for being annoying when he was just being nice enough to look after you.

You sighed, placing your hands on your hair as you ruffled your hair. You look at the table, pouting as you finally admitted that it’s your fault and maybe you should reach out first… not the other way around. You were stubborn.

But what you didn’t know was Minho was trying to reach out as well, but he kept convincing himself that it was your fault and you should be first. But then again, it was not you, it was the stress and sleep deprivation that yelled at him. But no, you should be the first.

You stood up from your seat, going to the locker hall, knowing Minho was there at this time to fix his things to get ready for his next lesson. When you arrived, you immediately spotted Minho’s head and walked your way to him. But you were quickly pulled back when you reached midway. You looked at the culprit who pulled you to see the guy in your batch, Myung. You sighed heavily, “What, Myung? I have to go.” You gritted, letting him know that you were annoyed as of the very moment, but he only smirked. He was honestly a jerk; he once confessed to you that he likes you by telling you to be his girlfriend, but of course, you don’t accept. He thought he was being cool, but no, never.

“We never talk anymore, darling.” He said with a cocky smile.

“I’m busy.” You said as you tried to pull away, but his grip tightened. “Myung, what the hell?” You said as you tried to pull away. You always knew how to stand up for yourself and this is not going to be an exception.

“Come on, Y/N. One date.” He says and you glare at him, eyes full of hatred for him.

“No.” You firmly said.

“Come on, just one date. That’s all I ask for.”

“Ask?” You scoffed. “More like force.”

“You don’t want—“

“She said no, didn’t she?” Minho’s voice boomed through the hall and it was when you realized everyone’s eyes were on you and Myung. Minho came forward, grabbing Myung’s wrist to pull his grip off of you, swatting it away. Minho grabbed your wrist, pulling you behind him. Minho’s thumb massaged your wrist as he glared at Myung. Minho’s touch was the opposite of Myung. Minho was much gentle like I always say. Even when he clutches his hand into yours, there’s still a drop of gentleness that let’s you know the person who’s holding you is Lee Minho.

“Why do you care? It’s not like she’s your girlfriend.” Myung spatted.

“And that’s none of your business. Learn how to respect women, you sick bastard.” Minho spats and your free hand shoots out to grab his other hand, signaling him to calm down. You felt it, Minho is about to jump and throw a fist, but when he felt you hold him, he visibly relaxes, calming his nerves down for you. “Never come near her.”

Minho leaves, pulling you with him as he brought you far from there, to a corner where not everyone could see. Minho frowns, anger fading as he looked at you. What would he do if he wasn’t there? Big luck, he was. “Are you okay? Did he do anything? Did he hurt you?” Minho asks and you shook your head, pulling him in an embrace, arms around his shoulders. Minho sighs, wrapping his own arms around your waist.

“I’m sorry.” You said. “I shouldn’t have shouted at you and be a bitch. It will never happen again, I promise.”

Minho tightens his hold on you, letting you know that he has forgiven you. He turns his head to the side, lips reaching for your temple as he kisses you. “It’s okay.” Minho mumbles, pulling away as his hands place themselves on your shoulders, holding you at arm-length. “You sure he didn’t do anything?”

“I promise, Minho.” You said. “Besides, he knows better than have the whole university watch him be the sick bastard that he is.” Minho sighs, nodding as he places a kiss on your temple once again. “I missed you.”

You did. You really did. Minho was the only one who could get you through your darkest days. He promised you, even on the sunny days. But it was proven that your true darkest days were the days that Minho isn’t beside you. And you’re never gonna let that happen again even if it was just a fight.

“I missed you, too.” Minho breathed, embracing you as he attaches his lips against your temple.

seven. – random kisses out of nowhere

“Y/N? I’m outside of the room, come out.” Jisung says the moment you picked the call up. You were feeling really happy about this particular day. So, with a big smile on your face you walked to the window of the room, sliding it open and popping your head out, not following Jisung’s instruction. You looked at the side to see Jisung with Hyunjin, in front of the classroom next to yours. Wow. In front of your room, huh. But you didn’t roll your eyes as you feel really giddy about today. Jisung and Hyunjin see you and you waved at them enthusiastically, your phone still pressed against your ear. Then, a figure on your peripheral vision catches your attention. He always caught your attention.

Not waiting for Jisung and Hyunjin to wave back, you turned to the boy that caught your attention and smiled at him widely as he comes nearer and nearer.

“Hi!” You enthusiastically say and Minho giggles. Minho was walking with Chan to wherever. Minho smiles, coming towards you as he places a kiss on your nose. You scrunched your nose and Minho chuckles.

“I’ll see you at lunch, text me.” Minho says as he continues walking and you nod. You watch Minho’s back as he and Chan reaches the end, turning a corner to go downstairs. Fuck, you’re falling deeper and deeper for him everyday. You just hope the kisses he gives mean something just as much as they mean to you.

“Someone’s in love.” Jisung says in a sing-song matter and you realized you stil have your phone pressed against your ear. “I’ll see you at lunch, text me. Are you two dating already?” Hyunjin’s voice come in and you sigh, turning your gaze to them.

“Fuck you both.” You pouted and they laugh. You hang up the calling, going out of the room to go to your friends.

Everyone could see how hung up you are, Y/N.

You held your hand on the open, feeling the raindrops hit your palm. You look up at the sky, pouting. Out of all the time it could rain, why did it have to be right now when you don’t have your umbrella with you? You just wanted to have your carton of banana milk since you were craving for it. You held the banana milk with both hands, tucking it under chin as you watched the rain fall, waiting for it to stop. It was nearing midterms; you can’t afford to be sick.

All hope came back when you saw Minho across the road, in the building of your dorm as he opens an umbrella. He comes out in the open, an umbrella protecting him from the rain as he made his way to you. When he reaches you, you look at him and he stares back at you until he breaks into a fit of giggles. “You’re so lucky I saw you from there.” Minho said, pointing at the second floor of the building. “You should’ve texted me or something.”

“I didn’t bring my phone.” You said and Minho chuckles. “Plus, you didn’t have to.”

“You really think I would let you just watch the sky, wait for the rain to stop?” Minho asks. “You look like you were glaring at the sky, telling the rain to stop.” You look so fucking cute. Minho wanted to add, but decided against it.

You huffed and Minho giggles, leaning forward to kiss the side of your head. “Come on.” Minho says as he wraps an arm around you, holding the umbrella in between the two of you. By instinct, you wrap one arm behind his waist.

Wrong. He shouldn’t have wrapped an arm around you, he should’ve just transferred the umbrella to the other hand. Due to this position, Minho wants to just kiss your head and never pull away. You don’t feel his heartbeat, do you?

When you both reached the building, you pulled away from Minho and faced him as he closes the umbrella after shaking some raindrops off of it. “Thanks, Minho.” You said with a pout, handing your banana milk out. “Here, have it.”

Minho chuckles, pushing it back to you. “It’s fine, Y/N. You’d the same for me, anyway.” Minho says and you nod, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. You pull away, a big grin on your face.

“You know I would.”

eight. – kiss on the knuckles

Minho had a showcase and of course, you were there to watch to support him. You expected him to be the best as always. You expected him to give out his all. What you didn’t expect was for Minho to fall on the ground in the middle of his number. You were quick on your feet, the curtains closed and you immediately ran to the stage. Turns out, he was too exhausted from rehearsals. It’s been a week since it happened and some people just can’t let go of what happened. But Minho ignored them but you never knew about it.

You were in your locker getting the things that are needed when you hear a girl beside your locker. “Yeah?” She said with an annoying giggle. “I heard that Lee Minho guy purposely fell on stage to get attention, so everyone would pity him. Apparently, he works hard enough like up until midnight yet he never gets the recognition he ‘deserves’.”

You slam your locker door harshly and you saw the girl flinch in your peripheral vision. You turned to her, shoulder leaning against your locker and smile at her with fakeness. “What an interesting theory,” You said. “But I’m sorry to tell you that Minho would never do something like that for what is so called attention. You don’t know Minho so I suggest you stop the bullshit that you’re spreading about him before you regret it.”

She scoffs. “What are you, Y/N? Minho’s little friend? Minho’s just using you for attention. You have connections, after all.” She says.

“He’s not the type to use someone for his own interest.” You said. “Don’t judge the person because you are nowhere near as good as he is.”

“How sure are you?” She says, her eyebrows raised.

You simply stood straightly, crossing your arms across your chest. “Simple, he’s not you.” You say and the girl slaps you across the face. Let’s just say you had a pretty intense fight leaving you with a scratch on your arm because of her long sharp nails, a bruise on the side of your stomach and pretty much bruised knuckles. Her state was way worse than yours.

You were in your locker, fixing your things gently as your hand hurts. You were putting things inside your bag when someone grabbed your arm and turns you around. You hiss, the pain stinging as the person grab you where the girl scratched you. “Shit, that hurts.” You say and the hand pulls back. You look up, seeing Minho with a worried expression. He looks at you then to the arm where he grabbed you. He grabs your bag from you, putting it on the ground and pulling your denim jacket off. He sees the large 3 lines of scratches. You covered it up, pulling your jacket back and turning around to your locker.

“What the hell got into you, Y/N? You were never the type to hurt someone.” Minho asks and you shrugged.

“She hit me first, I just gave her what she wanted.” You dryly said and you heard Minho sigh.

Minho’s shoulder slumped and grabbed you gently on your uninjured arm. He turns you around and you avoid his eyes. “What did truly happen, Y/N?” Minho asks. “All I know is you got into a fist fight and since you’re not the type to hurt someone, you must have a reason.” Minho says and you still avoided his eyes, looking at the ground.

“That’s it. She hit me first and I just gave her what she wanted.” You repeated and Minho sighs, taking your hands but you pulled the other that hurts. Minho sighs, looking at it. He grabs your bag, closing your locker and gently pulling you with him. “Come on, let’s go to your dorm.”

On the way to your dorm, you were silent the whole time, Minho worrying. When you both arrived at your dorm, you immediately went to your bed while Minho went to where you keep your first aid kit. Minho lightly tugged on your jacket and you removed it, letting him mend the scratch on your arm. “Still waiting for the real reason,” Minho says as he puts some ointment on your scratch. When he’s done, he takes your bruised knuckles and cleans them. “Come on, Y/N. Why did you? You know you can trust me.” Minho says and you still ignored him. Minho sighs, wrapping your hand with a bandage. “Other injuries?” Minho asks.

“I’ll clean it.” You mumble, taking the cloth from Minho’s hand, but he pulls away.

“Not until you say why you did it.” Minho says and you sigh, standing up. You kept silent, trying to take the cloth from him but he wouldn’t budge. “Come on, Y/N, just tell me why.” Minho says and wraps his arms around your waist. You hiss, unwrapping Minho’s arms from you. Minho frowns, lifting your shirt up lightly to show the bruise. He cleans it and your one hand finds its way on Minho’s hair, brushing it up. Then trails down to his cheek. Minho snuggles his face with your hand and you looked at him with pure sadness. “Come on, Y/N, why?” How could someone think so lowly of him? All he ever did was try to make everyone happy around him.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, Minho.” You mumble as you pull away and go around your dorm, looking for things to find. You settled on your small bookshelf, pretending to look for a book.

“Lies. You just don’t want me to know why it happened.” Minho said and he stands up to walk over to you. “C’mon, Y/N, why?” Minho says as he stays behind you. “What happened? I refuse to believe that you violently ruined her face just because she hit you first.” Minho says and you sigh. “I’m going to bother you all day, Y/N. You know how I am.”

“Fine! She was talking shit about you and I confronted her about it, saying something stupid and then she slapped me then I beat the hell out of her.” You say as you turned to Minho. “Happy now that you know?”

Minho’s face fell and you sigh. “What did she say? What exactly happened?” Minho asks.

“I was fixing my locker and our lockers were right beside each other’s. I heard her talking shit about you—“

“What exactly is the shit?” Minho cuts you off.

You bit your lip and sigh. “You purposely fell on stage to let everyone know how hardworking you are but never got the recognition you deserve.” You said and Minho looks down. “I told her that you’re not that kind of person, she said that you’re just using me because I have connections and then I said you’re not and when she asked how sure am I, I said because you’re not her.” Minho’s gaze went to you and you sighed. “I’m sorry, I went all over the place when she said that.”

“But it isn’t really true, right?” Minho says. “People only get mad when they are being confronted of what is true and they don’t really like admitting it.”

“Minho,” you say. “I can’t handle it when someone talks shit about you. You don’t deserve it, they’re just jealous of you.”

Minho gently grabs your hands and smiles at you. “Thank you, Y/N. But getting into trouble wasn’t really necessary.” He says and you nod. “Next time, okay? Ignore them, their ugly faces don’t deserve your pretty knuckles.”

You laugh and Minho lifts the injured fist, bringing it up to his lips to press a kiss to it.

nine. – confession kiss

“Why are we here?” You softly asked as Minho brought you at the rooftop—where Minho had silently promised you that he will always be there for you. Minho only smiled at you, but you could see the nervousness in him. Then, you suddenly chuckled. “Did you know the first time I went here was when you brought me here?”

Minho’s head was quick to snap towards your way as if sirens grew in his head. “Really?” He asks and you nod. You look down, palms on your jeans wiping the non-existent sweat against the denim cloth. You just suddenly felt nervous. Why did Minho even bring you here?

“So, why did you bring me here?” You asked, looking up at Minho who was staring at you with such admiration in his eyes. And that was honestly your favorite part in him; his eyes. The galaxies in his eyes that you always wanted to get lost in—that you’re willing to get lost in. You just want to dive into full of Lee Minho, honestly. Everyone could notice that everytime he would look at you his eyes would shine a little bit more than they usually do. But you don’t know that.

And maybe, it’s time for Minho to let you know that.

“This could be really cheesy and corny,” Minho says and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Remember when we bump into each other and we accidentally kissed?”

You laughed. Minho’s heart flipped.

You covered your mouth with a hand as you remembered how it exactly happened. This was the first time it was brought up. For being friends for almost a year and you two never talked about it. “Of course! I couldn’t face you until Mrs. Kim partnered us up.” You said and Minho could see how your eyes lit up almost brighter than the sun. Minho giggled himself, easing his nerves lightly. “But anyway, go on.”

Minho smiled as you urged him, taking your hands in his. “We’ll be friends no matter what, right?” Minho asks, worry dawning his face as scenarios of you rejecting him flashed in his mind. Minho shook your hands lightly as a way to cover up his worried state. If only Minho knew how hung up you are to him.

You frowned. “Minho, we’re best friends, I could never leave you. I can’t even function properly without you even if for just a moment.” You said as you squeezed his hands to ease him. Minho’s eyes trail down on your hands and he breathes in.

“Promise?” Minho asks and you nod.

“Promise.” You said. “Come on, this us. What wrong could happen?”

Minho nods, looking into your eyes and you smile at him. “This could be very sudden to you,” Minho starts and you listen intently as he starts. You could literally see how nervous he was, so you squeezed his hands to encourage him. “Um, I like you, Y/N.”

You felt heart skip a beat. Minho? He likes you? The guy you accidentally kissed almost a year ago.

You felt Minho’s grip tighten, but still, ever gently. “I’m not pressuring you into liking me, I just.. want you to know that I like you a lot, but if you give me a shot, it would be very nice—you won’t regret it, I promise. But again, I’m not pressuring you.” Minho blurted out.

The speech that Minho prepared for a week, it was now forgotten. All he wants to do is for you to know how much he likes you. And he likes you a lot. He’s been kissing you for almost a whole year, but he wants to do it because you’re dating—not simply because he’s friends with you, because honestly, friends don’t do that. Whenever you kiss your other friends, like take Hyunjin as an example, you only bump cheeks with him, but with Minho? It feels natural kissing him. What more if you can kiss him on the lips once again, but this time not accidentally.

“Y/N?” Minho snaps you out of your thoughts as he called you. He was nervous, very nervous and you could see it right through him.

“Y-You do?” You stutter.

“Did I make you uncomfortable?” Minho asks, chewing on his lower lip as he looks at you.

“No,” you said, then you smiled. “Because it would be a real shame if this is just a prank considering I like you, too.”

Minho’s jaw drops and you giggle at his reaction. “W-What?” Minho says with a wide smile, a chuckle escaping his lips. Minho felt as if he’s in cloud 9, he felt so happy. You like him, too! It was as if he hit jackpot. “You like me, too.” Minho breathed out and you laughed, pulling your hands off and wrapping your arms around his torso.

“I do, Minho. Like, a whole lot.” You said as you rested your nose on his shoulder. Minho smiles widely, cheeks hurting but he could care less, you like him. Minho wraps his arms around you, his jaw resting on the side of your head. “I thought I was being obvious! I like you way before our encounter.”

“Oh?” Minho lightly pulls away, smirking at you as he teases you. Minho giggled, kissing your forehead. Then, he moves his hands, cupping your cheeks as he looks down at you. Minho’s gaze was on your eyes, momentarily looking on your lips. And so were your eyes, it kept trailing back on his lips, remembering how soft it was when you accidentally did. Minho could probably feel how excited you are to finally feels those soft gentle lips against yours.

Simply because it was what he was thinking of, as well.

“Can I kiss you?” Minho asks you and you nod, looking into his eyes, feeling yourself get lost into those galaxies that he has like you always would. Minho leans closer, eyes trailing back and forth into your eyes and lips. You close your eyes, Minho sighing as he took in your beauty.

But Lee Minho is a big tease.

When his breath finally mingled with yours, Minho smiled, kissing the corner of your mouth. He pulls away, hands sliding down to your arms as you opened your eyes. “What?” You asked, pouting.

“I never said I’ll kiss you on the lips.” Minho says and your jaw drops. Unbelievable. But still, you found yourself laughing. Minho kisses your nose. “Let’s go on a date.”

“You’re such a big tease, Lee Minho!”

“Honey, am I even Lee Minho if I wasn’t a big tease?”

“You looked like you were gonna shit your pants when you were confessing to me, Lee Minho.”

“It just means that Lee Minho is so whipped for you, Y/L/N Y/N.”

ten. – “i love you.”

Minho knocks on your door on a Saturday morning. He was still in his pajamas, but he wanted to spend as much time with you since you’re both seniors in college already, meaning more work has been loaded. This is honestly the first time Minho will be seeing you in this week. Minho hasn’t even had a bath yet, he only brushed his teeth and get his wallet, keys and phone and now, he’s here. Minho figured you were still sleeping so he fumbled with his keys, looking for yours since you both exchanged spare keys of your dorms (Luckily, you two didn’t have a roommate, why not just move together?). He slides the key into the hole of the doorknob, unlocking it as he pushed the door open. He closed the door behind him when he stepped inside and a big smile graces his lips as he sees you in the bathroom, brushing your teeth with your eyes closed. You were drawing circles around your teeth with your toothbrush in a very slow motion. Your hair pulled up in a messy bun, still in your pajamas just like Minho and in his big white shirt.

Minho makes his way to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and you jump lightly, opening your eyes. Minho rests his chin on your shoulder as he looks at the two of you through the mirror in front of you. You leant your head against his, free hand running back and forth on his forearm. Minho smiles, kissing your cheek and you giggle, patting Minho’s cheek with your hand. You really are such a perfect fit for each other. You finished brushing your teeth, cleaning your mouth and brush. You put it away neatly and turned around to face Minho with a wide smile, but Minho could see that you’re still sleepy. It made you a lot cuter in his opinion.

“Minho,” you softly said and he hums with a smile. “I just brushed my teeth, can I get the kiss now?” Minho laughs and you pouted, but a giggle escapes your lips as you looked at how happy Minho is. You were delighted to know that you’re the one who makes Minho happy.

“Fine.” Minho says and your eyes light up. Is this it? You’re finally getting the kiss on the lips?

You were excited, but you were proven wrong when Minho leans in to kiss the same spot he kissed 3 months ago when he confessed to you. Everyday you would try to pry Minho in giving you a kiss on your lips, but he would always just kiss the corner of your mouth, saying that he wants your actual first kiss together to be really meaningful. But when?

“Just the teaser, though.” Minho says with a wink and you pouted, whining. Minho kisses your nose, smiling as he grabs your hand to pull you out of the bathroom. “C’mon, let’s go have coffee.” You smiled as he pulls you with him. You’ve never felt so happy in your life. Your chest was so full of Minho that you feel like you’re going to burst any minute now. You know it in yourself, this is getting deeper and deeper, but you’re willing to fall deeper into Lee Minho. After all, he’s all you wanted from the very start.

Minho started to make your coffee, knowing you’re still sleepy to do that. You were just so thankful Minho is there. It’s been a year and not once did Minho break his promise on being there by your side at your happiest, neutral and saddest days, even when fights occur, he’s still there. You sigh, wrapping your arms around his waist, head resting on his back. You feel Minho give your hand a pat or two. “Still sleepy, bub?” Minho asks and you nodded. You tiptoed, placing a kiss on Minho’s shoulder. Even if Minho was small, he still managed to be a lot taller than you are. Minho turns around, wrapping his arms around your waist as he lifted you. You wrap your arms around his shoulders before wrapping your legs around his waist. Minho carried you like a teddy bear and went over to your bed, laying down with you above him. You giggle and Minho smiles, arms tightening around you as if he was scared that you’re going to leave him. I doubt you would. “We’re tired college kids,” Minho mumbles. “Let’s sleep some more.”

You hid your face in Minho’s neck, closing your eyes. You peck his neck the same time you felt a peck on your ear. You sigh in content, snuggling further into Minho as you were impossibly closer with Minho than before. Sleeps with Minho is the safest you feel. Actually, being around Minho is the safest that you feel. Minho’s presence would always be enough for you. You were just so happy with Minho. All the stress, the tiredness? Just a Minho in front of you and you’re okay.

Clock strikes 1 and you flutter your eyes open, feeling satisfied on your sleep. Minho’s hand plays with your hair as the other was on your arm, rubbing it in a soothing manner. You sighed, kissing his jaw as lifted yourself off of him and sitting up. Minho whines, latching hand around your wrist to pull you back. “We have to have lunch, baby.” You said with a smile.

“I already ordered takeout, it’s gonna be here in 15 minutes.” Minho says with a smile. Sigh, seriously, what were you gonna do without Minho?

And just like Minho said, the takeout arrived after 15 minutes and you both ate while talking about what’s currently happening in college. Everytime Minho laughs, you would feel a tug on your heartstrings. You can never get enough of Lee Minho.

After eating, you both disposed your trash and cleaned up a bit. 3 pm and you both settled in your bed again, putting your laptop in front of the two of you as you play a random movie. You both sat on your bed, legs tangled together with your arms wrapped around his waist. His one arm behind your shoulders, hand playing with your hair and the other on your forearm, running back and forth, backs leant against your bedhead.

You tugged on his shirt, a smile coming up to your face. Minho looks down to you as he continued playing with your hair. “Remember how you got your book back from Hyunjin? The same day we were embarrassingly partnered up for Romeo and Juliet? Hyunjin was so confused—“

A smile comes up in Minho’s face, how far have you both come? From accidentally kissing each other to a project that requires a kiss on the hand to random kisses that eventually built up the relationship between the two of you. Minho was happy. It was kind of messy, but hey, it’s you and him. Who would’ve thought from not having any chance to talk to each other led to something that Minho has grown attached to? Certainly not Minho.

Minho could still remember how fast his heart kept on beating when he kissed your palm in Mrs. Kim’s class. He could still remember how he realized he likes you. He could still remember how happy he was when you told him you like him back. He still remembers everything. How could he not when his heart feels so heavy but light at the same time with so much love for you? He wanted to be the one to make you happy just like the way that you make him happy.

“And then Jisung suddenly kept asking me why—“

“I love you, Y/N.” Minho blurts out. His eyes don’t go wide; he doesn’t get surprised at how he suddenly blurted it out. He knew he was going to confess to you once more and it seems like it’s right now. He doesn’t even have the slightest nerve that tugs on his stomach that makes him worried that you would reject him.

You cut your story off, looking at Minho. There it was again, the galaxies in eyes. But this time, it shone brighter than they usually would. Minho looks at you with pure admiration and you realized how you both maintained such a happy and healthy relationship. You love Minho just as much as he loves you and you both never failed to show that to each other.

No words, just action for a response.

You pressed your lips against his, closing your eyes and Minho immediately responds into the kiss, not wasting anymore time as he pulls you impossibly closer. Now, you understood when Minho said he was looking for the right timing, wanting your first real kiss to be as meaningful as it is. And this was just perfect.

“I love you, too.”

the power of: going through it. rawr see you in my next fic, i hope you like it! uwu

[sxfterhearts]

wounded

24. [7:25 pm]

➳ pairing: yugyeom x reader

➳ genre/warnings: slow burn, fluff, slight bad boy!yugyeom, triggers; mentions of violence, injuries, physical abuse

➳ word count: 2,504 words

➳ summary: 24. “Just because,”

➳ author's note: this will probably turn into a two-shot, inspired by new era yugs. all creds for the gif below to @jinyoungot7​, thank you so much 💖 i’ve been sitting on this idea for a bit too long + rewrote it 3 times (bc my dumb self forgot to hit save) so i really struggled to form the right words. i hope you’ll forgive me for this! any form of feedback will be very much appreciated 💕 (also: imo = aunty)

wounded // scarred // healed

A rush of stiflingly hot summer air pummeled through the double doors of your family’s restaurant, disrupting the once cool atmosphere created by the air-cons. Being reminded of this season’s unforgiving behaviours urged you to lift the straw of your cool drink to your lips.

The sip of iced Americano, however, got stuck in your throat when you laid eyes upon the restaurant’s newest patron.

Yugyeom. Kim Yugyeom, with his untucked shirt and loosened tie, took confident strides across the dining area in the direction of the kitchen window where chefs would place finished dishes, ready to be served. Your brain short-circuited for several moments as you did nothing but watch him from your position behind the cashier. His actions were that of a regular’s as he arrived at the window and stuck his head through the opening in the wall, his hand coming up in a small wave to catch the chefs’ attention.

It was then that you registered, quite belatedly, the bruises and splotches of crimson littered across the back of his raised hand, tarnishing the fair skin.

You distinctly remembered that you saw plasters wrapped around his fingers earlier today when you sat beside him in class. His current wounds made the older ones seem like insignificant paper cuts. It wasn’t unusual for Yugyeom to turn up covered in fresh cuts and purple bruises, though. In fact, you had grown so accustomed to this that you started stocking up on assorted Rilakkuma plasters. Since the start of the semester when you were assigned the furthest desk from the whiteboard, you learned how to disinfect open wounds with saline solution and cover it properly with pastel-coloured dressings, all courtesy of Kim Yugyeom.

“Imo, can I please order takeaway? One bibim naengmyeon and one mul naengmyeon, double serving of pickled radishes, two eggs and extra-”

“Yugyeom-ah!” Your mother’s unmistakeable voice pierced through as her head peeked out of the little window, coming face to face with your desk partner. She addressed him with such a warm and motherly tone, which left you surprised and confused. “Oh, oh dear… It’s best if you take a seat, you can have your dinner here. I’ll pack Mark’s in a takeaway container, don’t you worry.”

“But Imo, I need to get back, Mark-”

“No buts, Yugyeom. I already memorised your orders. Sit down, your food will be ready in a second.”

“Imo, I can’t-” Yugyeom protested weakly, waving his hands in refusal, but you knew it was all for nought. Attempting to deny your mother’s orders were an impossible feat.

A short silence ensued. You guessed this was caused by your mother’s signature death stare. Having been on the receiving end countless times during your lifetime, you were well aware that it could make anyone’s skin rise with goose bumps or a chill to run down their spines.

“Okay, Imo…” Came Yugyeom’s resigned voice as his lanky legs dragged himself over to the vacant seat closest to the kitchen.

You took this as your cue to question your mother in detail about how she became so familiar with your class’ bad boy. Unfortunately, you were met with a curt reminder of the first-aid kit in the cupboard under the counter as she busied herself with blanching the buckwheat noodles. When she was in her element, there was no way to deviate her attention from the task at hand.

Rummaging through the cupboard, you fished out the white box with a red cross stuck on the top of the lid. Taking a few moments to steel your quickening heart rate, you were struck by the realisation that this would be the first time seeing Yugyeom outside of school in the entire five years you spent as classmates. He was a quiet boy, never uttering a single word in school, even when the teachers were asking him questions, landing him a semi-permanent spot in detention. Most days, he would plug one earphone into his ear and rest his head on folded arms, taking frequent naps as the class learned about organic compounds or Punnett squares. He was also handed multiple demerits for breaking the school rules, which ranged from getting into fist fights with seniors who bullied students for their lunch money, or wearing one too many piercings (especially the shiny ones), to refusing to get a haircut when his fringe began to grow past his eyebrows, obscuring his eyes.

The most intimidating aspect about sitting next to Kim Yugyeom, however, was that nearly every week you were forced to come face to face with angry gashes and wounds that he seemingly gained overnight. He always turned a blind eye when you succumbed to your curiosity and inspected his injuries from your seat, mere inches away. Wordlessly, you would clean the damaged skin with practiced hands, then patch it up with a plaster. Rilakkuma, you decided, suited him best. The plasters matched his yellow Rilakkuma earphones. You even caught him occasionally staring at the plasters when you stayed in class during lunch, the only period in which he remained awake.

“Y/N,” Yugyeom called as you drew the seat next to him. He stared at the table, refusing to meet your eyes.

Your ears perked up the moment your name left his lips; you were not used to this. It was a rare occurrence for the two of you to speak. Usually you went about your everyday tasks silently, with little words being exchanged. It was a silence that grew comfortable over the semester, and you found yourself appreciating the peace it brought during stressful times.

Conversations between the two of you had only started up recently. This was largely attributed to your father, who worked front of the house, being ridiculed by your classmate’s parents when they visited the restaurant. They complained about your father’s complete lack of competence when they had to wait forty-five minutes for their food to arrive, only to receive the wrong dishes in the end. Furious, they shoved the plate of food off the table and stormed out of the restaurant, not even bothering to settle the bill. Your father was left to clean up the scraps in front of all the other customers, severely damaging the restaurant’s reputation.

The classmate, a snobby, pampered girl, confronted you in school the next day by rudely pushing your books and stationery onto the floor, just like her parents did. You held back angry, frustrated tears as she ridiculed you and your family in front of all your other classmates, tearing you down to shreds. Yugyeom, rousing from his nap, caught the girl’s wrist before she had the chance to slap you across the face with a notebook.

Everyone grew quiet then. The boy had never done anything to gain attention, always preferring to remain behind the shadows in perfect silence. “Keep it down, you’re ruining my sleep.” Yugyeom hissed threateningly. She cowered in fear and backed off, never to provoke you again.

“Look up, Yugyeom.” You instructed, returning to the task at hand. With a concerned gaze, you conducted a thorough examination of his injuries. The cuts on his hands and the bruises on his knuckles were fairly standard – a quick clean and plaster should do the trick. You got to work, pulling out the alcohol-free cleansing wipes and dabbing over the torn skin with gentle fingers. The boy flinched slightly upon the first contact but behaved rather well as you continued to tend to his hands. Your gaze flitted over the two spherical scars on the underside of his left forearm as he reached forward, closing the distance between the two of you. They were cigarette burns, you figured. You could feel Yugyeom’s fingers brushing against your temples as he pushed strands of your short hair back to rest behind your ears, the tips of which glowered pink at his actions.

“What happened this time?” You asked, somewhat rhetorically. You knew full well that Yugyeom would never divulge the events that led up to his injuries, no matter how persistent you were.

He hummed in response, as though that were an appropriate answer, and scrunched up his face slightly to express his reluctance in answering your question.

The wound smack bang in the middle of his nose presented itself as a bit more of a challenge. While Yugyeom was no stranger to facial injuries, often sporting shallow cuts close to his brow or near his chin, this was much deeper; much larger. It drew unwanted attention and tarnished his otherwise handsome features.

A dull thud sounded as a bowl of cold noodles landed on the table. Your mother stood over the two of you, shaking her head as she handed you a warm towel. You accepted it, still utterly clueless about how your mother was so well acquainted with Yugyeom and his injuries. “Y/N-ah, use this to clean the wound. If it’s still bleeding a lot, apply some pressure to it.” She then turned to the boy, tutting in disapproval. “Yugyeom, I’ve always respected your privacy when you show up in my restaurant covered in cuts and bruises, but this is where I draw the line. Your injuries are getting more serious. You and I are going to have a serious talk once you finish your dinner, young man. It’s been two years and I can’t watch from the sidelines any longer, are we clear?”

You watched as Yugyeom nearly heaved out a sigh, but decided against it in the last minute. “Yes, Imo. Thank you, Imo.”

Your mother, with her hands perched atop her waist, nodded gravely before strutting over to the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone once more. A million questions swarmed in your head as Yugyeom took the towel from your hands, pressing it onto his wound as he began to devour the bowl of cold noodles. This has been going on for two years? You wondered to yourself. Two long years, and yet I’ve never even ran into him in the restaurant. There’s no way, he must’ve been here when I worked over the summer. Maybe he was just sitting in a corner, eating in silence… As usual.

“You’ve been coming her for two years?” You asked before you could stop yourself, your curiosity getting the better of you. “But why?” Why didn’t you tell me? You thought silently, the rest of the sentence unable to leave your mouth.

Yugyeom shrugged as he picked out two halved egg yolks from the boiled eggs with his chopsticks. “Just because,”

Because you pitied me? Because you were ashamed of me? Because you couldn’t face me in school without thinking about that incident caused by the girl’s parents?

“It’s not like that.” The boy said flatly, his eyes meeting yours with a resolute gaze when he noticed you withdrawing, getting lost in your thoughts. “This is the only place that sells naengmyeon all year.”

“What?” You muttered in disbelief.

“I have naengmyeon every Friday, even in winter. The food is good and I only live five minutes away.”

You nodded at his explanation. Perhaps you were overthinking the situation.

“I was also trying to hide most of my injuries from you.” He admitted in a low voice, barely audible above the white noise of the restaurant. Yugyeom took another mouthful of noodles into his mouth, chewing appreciatively as the refreshing flavours soothed his senses. “Fridays…” He paused, eyes wandering vacantly around the vicinity of the restaurant. “Fridays are gambling days for my uncle. He’ll gamble, lose, drink and come home for dinner. You know my older brother, Mark?”

“Yeah, I know Mark.” It was hard not to know about Mark. Before he graduated four years ago, rumours about him spread like wildfire throughout the entire school. The one rumour you distinctly remembered as a first-year student was that he maintained good grades by doing, for a lack of better word, favours, for his female teachers.

“Mark would rush me out of the house before our uncle got home. He acted as my uncle’s babysitter by cooking him dinner, and then as his punching bag when he had to take out his frustration. I was home once when it happened, some time last year. After that I made Mark agree for us to take turns.”

Your head started to spin as your brain worked to process this new information. “Wait so, the cuts, the bruises, the burns, all of that…?”

Yugyeom nodded, still staring beyond the double doors. The sun was beginning to set. In the back of his mind, he registered that his uncle would be home soon. “Honestly, Mark had it worse, especially in the first few months after.”

He meant after his parents passed away two years ago. A car accident. They were coming home from their anniversary dinner. It was raining. There was a truck going around the corner at insane speeds, towards their car. It swerved. Their car plummeted off a cliff. They died instantly, the aunties gossiped as they filtered in and out of the restaurant. Poor kids, they would remark, casting pitied looks at the brothers.

“Your mother, she’s really something else.” He said with a small smile while picking up a few pieces of cucumber and radish. “The first time I came in, the restaurant was about to close. She took one look at me and forced me to press a piece of frozen beef on my bruise. She talked to me the entire time she was dressing my wound, I swear my ears nearly fell off.”

That sounded exactly like your mother. She loved to nag, but it always came from a place of genuine concern. “Imagine being her daughter.” You joked, grateful for the slight comedic relief from the heavy nature of the words you shared. It was one of the few proper conversations you had with your desk partner.

“Sometimes I have to remind myself that she isn’t my mother.” Yugyeom said, his tone so broken and devastated that you felt your heart ache within your chest.

You placed a hesitant hand on his shoulder, trying your best to provide him with some form, any form of comfort. “I’m sure she cares for you like her own son. Especially since she’s been making you dinner every Friday for the past two years.”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“She even nurses your injuries.”

“But you do that too.” He pointed out without missing a beat, a teasing glint in his eyes as he finally turned to look at you.

“I…”

“Nevermind, forget I said anything.” Yugyeom replied with a knowing grin, returning back to his dinner.

I care about you too, a lot. You confessed silently, resting your heavy head on your palms as you watched him eat. The golden shine of the sun casted upon his pointed features. Despite the old scars and the new wounds, he glowed.

A part of you realised that after so many months, you had finally broken-down Kim Yugyeom’s iron walls. School would be very different from now on.

[survivus]

@towercursed​ said:  👶🏻 punz and tadashi bc punz wants lots of babies

send me 👶🏻and i’ll hc about our muses’ child   /   currently  accepting   !

name:   Clara Hamada

birthdate:  August 17th

personality headcanon:   this child is a nightmare at first !!   she has the curiosity of both her parents,   and so the minute she learns to crawl they cannot take their eyes off her.   tadashi ends up making her an ankle bracelet with a gps tracker in that beeps when he presses a button so they know where she is at all times skdhbfsdf.   as she gets older she doesn’t change that much,   but she does become better at letting her parents know where she’s going and what she’s doing     (     but not until after tadashi called the police on her     ).

what was their first word and how old were they when they said it:   clara’s first word is up for debate.   she started speaking a little later than the other kids so both tadashi and rapunzel were on high alert for any potential words;   tadashi swears she said  ‘ ball ‘  when he was giving her a bath on a tuesday night,   but rapunzel claims she said  ‘ mama ‘  the sunday before.   the truth is,   her first word was   ‘ cass ‘   ,   aunt cass just doesn’t want to burst their bubbles.

did they get in trouble in school:     constantly,   though not for actually being bad.   she was just really curious,   and really smart;   so smart she would get bored in class and start messing around/experimenting.   she also went through an   ‘ experimental art ‘   phase which often involved spilling lots of paint everywhere,   often over her friends.   they soon learned not to send her to school in WHITE,   plus a change of clothes in her backpack.  

which parent were they more attached to:     clara was pretty attached to both of her parents,   despite her independent nature.   neither rapunzel nor tadashi would admit it,   but the person she was MOST attached to was aunt cass,   whom hiro dubbed  ‘ graunt cass ‘      (   pronounced  ‘ grant ‘   -   as in,   grandma/aunt cass    )  and it stuck.   the minute rapunzel goes to drop her at cass’ to be babysat she would squirm out of her mother’s hold,   yell  ‘ graunt cass ! ‘   and toddle off into the kitchen without so much as a goodye wave.

what was their favorite toy:      rapunzel bought her a paint set when she was three and she was totally obsessed.   tadashi tried to convince her that the   ‘ my first science kit ‘   was better,   but very quickly admitted defeat and started bulk buying non-toxic paints.   also more cleaning products.

did they cry a lot as a baby:     yes  !!   this baby wanted attention,   like,   ALWAYS.   as she got older she became much quieter   (   like between 1.5 / 4 yrs   )     and began to enjoy her independence more,   but at first she would scream whenever one of her parents left the room.

movie they watched over and over:     finding nemo;   she didn’t care that it was old by the time she was born she was just  O B S E S S E D  with the lil fishies  !!!

what was their favorite subject in school:     art   !     she enjoys physics as a whole but she often found the classes too easy because they are so linear.   with art she could memorise as much info as she wanted,   but it was work that made her a good artist   -   she enjoyed that.

were they social growing up or quiet:     clara loved socialising,   she was happy to chill out and play with her friends all day,   but at a certain point she would become tired and want to spend some time either with her parents or on her own reading or something,   to recharge.   at that point she would crawl into the lap of whichever parent was closer and tug on their shirt until they listened to her whisper   ‘ home now ? ‘

which parent do they take after:     both  !   mostly rapunzel,   but she has tadashi’s sense of humour.

what do they grow up to be:      after a lot of bouncing around,   just making things work and doing odd jobs,   she becomes an architectural designer.   she gets to use both art and science,   and enjoys the challenge of coming up with illogical and mind bending builds that are seemingly impossible.

three random headcanons:    

i.   she thinks uncle hiro’s robots are stupid,   until tadashi confiscates her phone and she needs one to get it back.      

ii.   despite her parentage,   her hair has a ginger shine to it,   just like tadashi’s mother.   the first time he noticed this,   he cried.    

iii.   she loves eating sweet foods,   but baking is possibly the only thing she isn’t naturally good at.   she gets incredibly frustrated every time aunt cass tries to teach her,   and it often ends with her throwing her oven gloves on the counter and storming off.   she only comes back when aunt cass brings the batter spoon for her to lick and sweet talks her into trying again.

likes & dislikes:    

likes.     sweets,   painting,   charcoal,   finding nemo,   her finding nemo plushie,   all her other plushies,   riding on her dad’s moped.

dislikes.      baking,   teachers,   being told what to do,   being grounded,   black and white movies,   cringey sitcoms.

do they get along with their parents:     yes   !   she  definitely had rebellious phases,   but for the most part she’s really close to tadashi and rapunzel and will often call them to catch up or just hang out with them in the city for no reason other than she misses them.

faceclaim:      picrew here  !

[maya-chirps]

Just had my first class today and it was pretty nice. The 3D Modeling teacher seemed to be a chill guy who would be easy to approach. All my classmates were chill too. In fact, most my classmates are either nice or quiet, which was super nice. I like most of them as they are.

Yeah, I said most of them, because there's this one guy who straight up fucking sucks. My teacher just brought up that his dad has COVID and he's currently being monitored for symptoms and how we should vote this election since our current government was pretty sluggish with vaccinations. Just small talk because he was just doing some small introductory stuff about himself as he waited for his presentation to go up. He also said that he's sharing it now in case he does get COVID and could no longer teach for a while.

It was an overall okay class and he just answered our questions. Nothing to big.

Then I opened our class group chat that I had muted for the very thing that angered me when I opened it. The latest message was from that asshole and he made a joke at the expense at our very nice teacher and even took a jab at the fact that our teacher was glad that he was vaccinated so if he does get it, it wouldn't be that bad.

After hearing that a lot of my family members contracted it for the past two weeks, one after the other, to say I was furious is an understatement. I was still recovering from the news that my younger cousin, who couldn't be vaxxed btw, has gotten it and she's starting to show symptoms, then I hear this shit from this guy?!

I couldn't really tell him off because our class absolutely hates confrontations and they would probably take his side because he's one of those "funnyman" bullies that could get away with every fucked up remark by saying it's a joke and you're not supposed to be mad at him for that, but it was still frustrating.

He's fucking lucky that COVID closed our school because me and my friend were so close to report him for bullying which would have tainted his record and suspend him (maybe even get him kicked out bc he's a troublemaker).

Anw, it's also equally annoying because we're COLLEGE/UNIVERSITY students, not fucking high schoolers. Like, straight up we're all fucking adults, studying for a degree, and he still acts like this??? Why??? What's the reason????? You're a grown-ass man????? You're still chasing the high of high school class clown??????

If so, the rest of your classmates are literally your fucking juniors and you choose to bully them for whatever unknown goddamn reason??????? And your fucking teachers too???????

This is why I really hate going to class online now. He's gotten ballsier, and me telling him off would be direct provakation.

Edit to add how this guy is so much worse: YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF OUR TEACHER AFTER HE JUST SAID THAT ONE OF HIS FRIENDS PASSED AWAY THAT'S WHY HES WORRIED AND WE SHOULD ALL STAY SAFE??????????????? DUDE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?

[haikyuuscreaming]

omg hi! you started off your blog greatly, im so proud of you! do you think you can write an angsty scenario for akaashi? where his crush likes this guy and wants help from him and he feels all sad :( but she ends up confessing to him! i love your writing so far, keep it up!

UMM so i accidentally got really invested in this so it’s WAYY longer than a drabble and i often write long stuff bc of ao3 so this might sound a little more like that kinda fanfic style instead of a tumblr scenario? mainly cos im really a sucker for this stuff hehehe love you anon

also ! the request made it sound sort of akaashi-centric so i hope you dont mind? there will still be a lot of reader-chan here though! please dont leave yet and i hope u enjoy

again ALSO i wrote this half on my laptop half on my phone so please dont mind if it seems a lil clunky in some areas 

3092 words jesus ok here you go

-

Crushes weren’t necessarily a new sensation for Akaashi. Just an uncommon one. In fact, the last time he remembers even being attracted to someone was in first grade when everyone had a crush on this popular girl. He’s not even sure if he really liked her, or just found the idea of it interesting.

Now, second year of high school, Akaashi finds himself in trouble. Because for once, he really, really, really likes this girl. You. 

He can’t even fake himself out of this, because every damn time he looks at you, he feels all warm and tingly and his stomach feels less calm and he can hear his heart bump against his ribcage and god, his face even flushes a little bit.

(A little bit inconvenient when he accidentally finds himself staring at you and daydreaming.)

Akaashi doesn’t like this feeling.

I mean, yeah, Akaashi has somewhat of a sense of confidence in his looks, manners, and ability to make friends. He’s not exactly the top in each subject he thinks, but it lets him pass through high school without too much of a depressingly lonely life. He could easily befriend you and steal your heart, his inner ego-brat says.

But.. but what if you reject him?

He should become closer to you.

(For the record, he doesn’t not like the feeling. He kind of likes the serotonin boost you give him. But he definitely, more than kind of likes you.

A lot more.)

And one day, in the spring, he finds himself paired up with a special biology partner. With familiar, sparkling eyes and the cutest, most gorgeous voice he’s ever heard that always makes his heart fucking backflip.

Akaashi doesn’t think he can survive this.

His teacher blares, “Start brainstorming ideas for your science fair project! It’s due in a month, you know!”, but Akaashi blocks out the noise because all he can focus on is you, goddamn it. He can only focus on the way you push your hair out of your face, the way your lips upturn into the most stunning smile he’s ever had the fate of encountering, and he really hopes he doesn’t get h-

“Akaashi-kun?”

(Fuck you and your completely gorgeous voice that drives him up the wall and makes him want to kiss you.)

“Oh– sorry, yeah?” He kind of hates himself for how his voice lilted a pitch higher.

You laugh, sounding like a goddess. He hopes that it means you don’t hate him. “Ahaha, I was just wondering if you have any ideas for the science fair? It’s a pretty big chunk of our grade, and I am… not the smartest when it comes to AP Bio..”

Akaashi thinks quite the opposite, but he isn’t currently in the position to contradict you.

“Um…” He pauses and thinks furiously. He comes up with some borderline generic idea that has enough room for a unique twist. And your eyes brighten.

“Waaaoo, Akaashi-kun’s a genius, hm?”

(God, he thinks he might have a little more than a crush on that teasing grin and glittering pair of eyes.)

He musters the courage to smile without looking stupid. “Of course.”

Two weeks later, he wants to sink into a hole.

Yes, it might have been his request that you two meet up to work on the project, but that was because he knew you were a procrastinator! You would start the project the night before if he’d let you!

But it was not his idea to do it at his house.

Now he has to live with the fact that you’re lying on HIS bed, spread-eagled in your sweater and shorts, complaining about how lazy you are.

(He wonders how you’re so comfortable about wearing shorts to a male classmate’s house. You two aren’t even that close, although you claim otherwise.)

“Come on, get up,” he rolls his eyes. “We have work to do.”

“But I’m so tiiiiiredddd… and lazyyyy…. wouldn’t it be such a gentlemanly act of Akaashi-kun to do the project for me?” You flash him a sweet smile while stretching out even more on the bed.

Snorting, he watches you sink into his mattress and roll around idly. “Hey, don’t you need the grade? You can’t pass if you make me do your work.”

Sighing, you hum in defeated content. “Well, it was worth a try.” You reach out your hand and tousle his wavy hair, and he almost flinches at the touch. He hates to say it but he loves it so much that you’re so affection with him, and Akaashi knows he would give anything to keep you teasing him with all this attention.

“Yeah.. yeah, it was,” he murmurs to himself before letting himself sit down next to you. He notices how you scrunch your body from a spread-eagle to a cute, curled up position to make room for him.

“Mm, so how are we gonna do this?” you ask, with a subtle mixture of bored and curious seeping into your tone. Then, he watches your features melt into a warm, mischievous smile as you hum, “Unless you just wanna nap and cuddle or something.”

(Holy fuck.)

Akaashi forces himself to scowl playfully and he shakes his head, sighing loudly in mock disappointment. “I don’t know what to do with you.” And equally as teasing, he adds, “I should just kick you out and not treat you to lunch if you’re going to be like this.”

“Noooooo!!!” you whine in this adorably frustrated and threatening voice. “Don’t you dare starve me or I’m feeding you to the rats.”

He chuckles. “See, that’s what I thought.”

But of course, your face wraps into a devilish grin as you say in a singsong voice and throw your arms around him (which makes him flush and makes his heart go WABAM), “It doesn’t matter though, ‘cause I got this whole-ass meal right here~”

“Shut up.”

(But you both know he never means it.)

Thanks to Akaashi (and your obliging albeit lazy participation), you two blow the science fair out of the way and get an A. He’s never seen you so delighted about a grade.

“I’m so happy~” you never shut up about how grateful you are for him, not that he’s complaining. “This is probably the highest mark I’ve ever gotten in this class.”

“Don’t over exaggerate. You’re not too bad at Bio,” Akaashi remarks. “You just need a tutor, probably, if you’re struggling.”

(By the way, he is ecstatic that you two are ACTUALLY FRIENDS!!! He’s even met your dog!!)

“Hmmmm…” You eye him warily before shrugging. “Whatever you say, Akaashi-kun.” Your eyes flit around before returning on him, and you start rambling about the newest anime you’ve gotten into and how it’s practically on-par with the manga, and how hot one of their characters are-

(For some reason Akaashi really zeroes in on that part.)

He really feels like he has to contribute something to the conversation, so he puts in, “Wow, [Name]-san, you’re such a fangirl.”

You snort loudly and put two peace-signs to your face like some kawaii anime girl, doing this mock-sweet smile. “Waaaooo, you’re rightttt. I’m Akaashi-kun’s number one fan!! He’s so cute when he’s yelling at me to do my work and super hot when he helps me with homew-”

He swears to god his face is radiating an inhuman amount of heat and he rolls his eyes before shaking his head and jabbing your side lightly. “Didn’t I tell you not to say that?”

“Ummm, maybe.” Your ‘innocent’ grin tells him otherwise. “But you know, you’re right, Akaashi-kun,” you cross your arms and give your cute little smirk again. “I am a genius, and I’m suuuper good at Bio. I just need someone to channel it.” And you lean forward until both your noses are touching, and Akaashi thinks he’s about to explode. “So maybe you could help me out?”

The subtle pleading undercurrent in your voice compels Akaashi to straighten up a little bit without flushing even redder. Keep cool, keep cool.

(He prays that his skill of keeping a poker face will hide the blood rushing around in his dick.)

“Well, what time?”

This time around, he finds himself at your house instead. You both are sitting at your desk, ‘working’ on your math and Bio homework. In other words, just talking.

He’s confident now in that the two of you are close friends. He’s learned that from afar, you were a sweet and confident yet perfectly kind girl. That was the girl he based his feelings off of. During your Bio project, he found the cheeky, sly and vibrant yet chill girl who always teased him but was still nonetheless sweet.

And now, under that facade, you were an anxious mess with a shit-ton of insecurities.

(He thinks it’s funny how you boast that you’re just like Shrek. You have layers.)

Akaashi glances at you, groaning with your head down onto the table. “I hate math..” he hears you grumble.

“Hey, you’re not too bad. You just have to be careful when plugging in your equations,” he counters.

“But what if I can’t remember my equations??”

“We both know you’re fine at remembering them.”

“I’m gonna fail.”

“Have faith in yourself, because I do.” And Akaashi is being completely honest. His confidence in you being just fine and being able to pass all your classes is strong because he’s seen you work (after procrastinating). “You just have to work on not putting things off until the last minute.”

You make a frustrated noise before resting your chin on your propped hand. “Sometimes I feel like I’m just.. destined to be set back, y’know? Like, everything I do is gonna somehow backfire on me.”

He knows the feeling, especially late at night in bed, stressing over what tomorrow might bring him.

“And like… I have this whole thing set up for me. When people know me as a classmate, I’m an average student, right? Then when we’re like… ‘friends’, I’m all weird and tease-y.” You let out a loud sigh. “And to the unlucky people who get to this stage, I’m a mess.”

“Stop.” Akaashi’s surprised at how firm he is. “I’m grateful to have met you and to have become your friend, [Name]. You’re going to be fine, you need to trust yourself more. Because I trust you more than anything.”

(Yes, he is on first-name basis with you!! Yes, he trusts you even more than he might even trust Bokuto!!)

Your lips twitch into a small smile, one that he’s grown to love and adore. He’s confident that he’s so fucking deep in love and he doesn’t know how to move on. “You really think so?”

“Of course I do.” He flicks some crumpled-up post-it at you. “Since we’re not doing any homework anytime soon, what else do you want to talk about?”

Your gaze becomes a little more shy and nervous. “Umm… Weeell, I need help.”

“I mean, why else would I be here?”

“No, seriously, Keiji-kun. Seriously!!” You throw mock-fit, despite obviously looking anxious.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m listening. Sorry.”

“Uh. Um, so…” You blink and pretend to look focused on doodling on the corner of your math paper. “There’s this dude I like. Like, I reaaally like him, which is surprising even for me.” You laugh a little bit, and as Akaashi feels his heart start to tear in half, he forces out a chuckle to match. “He’s suuuper pretty– I think that’s the word for it? Pretty. And he’s kinda funny in his own way, and he’s really sweet and listens to me all the time even when I don’t deserve his time. And I dunno, I think he might like me back? Also, I really really really like him. But I don’t really know how to confess…

“Because you know, I’m kinda wack like that, haha. I’ll probably screw up the confession and make things worse, and, well, I need help.” You finish your ramble with a loud breath and you collapse your head onto the table, groaning.

“Uh–” Fuck, oh fuck him, fuck his life. “I mean… I think just a heartfelt confession would do? Something simple and sweet that says you really like him, in case somehow your words don’t work.” Akaashi feels like he’s sweating, a lot, and he feels even more frustrated than ever. His heart is crashing against his ribcage, and his mind is a fucking mess.

You frown a little bit, and suddenly a gush of words fly out of your mouth like a stream bursting from a dam. “Oh my god, what if I’m reading the signs all wrong and he doesn’t at all like me back? I mean, I wouldn’t blame him because I’m kinda ugly and have this weird personality thing going on and I’m shit at math and Bio-”

“Stop.” Akaashi forces himself to intervene, mainly because 1) you’re literally the light of his life and 2) he feels like he has to leave really soon after dealing with the news. “Shut up, [Name]. You aren’t ugly at all, and I, for one, enjoy your weird personality. And I already told you, you’re fine with academics.” He makes himself make eye contact with you, peering up from your arm covering your face, and says, “If he rejects you, he isn’t worth your time at all and you should move on.”

(Preferably with me.)

He watches you exhale, like he just unwound a tight spring from inside of you, and your shoulders relax and you melt from your anxious state, just a little bit. “You’re right. If.. if he doesn’t feel the same, I’ll just forget about him.”

“Because you’re a genius.” Akaashi tries to hype you up, but he still feels like crumbling. Falsely checking his phone, he stretches and stands up. “I have to go now, sorry. My mom asked me to pick up my little sister from tutoring.”

“Huh, already?” Confusion flits across your face, and it hurts him even more to just leave you after you confided in him, but he knows he has to leave before he says something he might regret. “Oh, okaayy.. see you tomorrow then. Thanks for helping me out.” You yawn before standing up to hug him goodbye.

“No problem.” He says it casually, but Akaashi feels his mood drop faster and lower than ever. He hugs you back, but he breaks away fast.

After leaving your house and collapsing onto his bed in his locked bedroom (with his 11-year-old sister knocking on the door and curiously asking what’s wrong), he can’t help but feel hurt that you couldn’t even tell him who your mystery crush’s name was.

A week passes by, and neither of you mention the conversation at your house. It doesn’t matter either way, since you two are still so casually best friends. At the same time, he desperately wants to push the matter just to find out who it is.

Otherwise, Akaashi has noticeably been more quiet and moody to the point that he doesn’t know how to control it. Sure, he keeps up the same as he would before your conversation, but he can’t help but feel his heart sink everytime he sees you. His mind is ecstatic every time he talks to you, while simultaneously wanting to tear itself apart.

He’s tried getting rid of feelings for you, in literally every way possible. From avoiding thinking about you (which backfired horribly because he ended up thinking more about you) to focusing on other girls (ew, none of them were even capable of creating the same effect on him as you do), he’s tried it all and it’s all failed.

Akaashi realizes his silent slump has gotten so bad to the point that Bokuto made him sit out a few practice matches in the gym just because Akaashi was nowhere near the spot that any of the team expected him to be at.

After school, he meets with you near the vending machine as always. You buy two cans of coffee, one for you and one for him.

As soon as he takes the can gratefully, you clear your throat.

“Yeah, [Name]?”

Glancing around before staring him in the eye, you start, “Keiji-kun, before you run away, I just…. I just wanted to let you know I really really really like you. Like, a lot.” You start speaking kind of fast, so Akaashi can’t process what you’re saying.

“And I mean it. Ever since the Bio project, you’ve been so nice to me and you’ve been such a great friend even though I made it hard sometimes, and along the way I just caught feelings. You honestly mean everything to me, and I appreciate you so much for everything we’ve been through. I- I think, I love you, Keiji. And I hope you accept my feelings.” You smile, almost nervously but nonetheless sincere, and Akaashi thinks he’s about to explode.

“I- I,” Fuck, oh my fucking god, he thinks to himself. He’s shaking a little bit– that’s how happy he is. “[Name], I..” God fucking damn it, he can’t even express how happy he is. He feels his cheeks blossom and he feels his lips quirk into this goofy smile.

But then he watches you shy away a little bit as you hurriedly say, “I- I mean, sorry. It’s okay if you just wanna be friends-”

“No.” Finally, Akaashi can use his mouth and then he gently takes your cheeks in his hands and closes the gap between you two, lips connecting in a display of pining and affection.

He practically melts into the kiss, he’s never been so happy. He thinks he’s actually about to implode; he’s been dreaming about kissing you like this, against your soft, plush lips. And finally he’s able to call you his, to call you the one. When the two of you finally break away for air, he’s breathing hard and his mind is a mess, which is rare considering his usual stoic state.

Akaashi has also never seen you so flustered and blushy. He murmurs into your ear as he takes your hand, “Feelings are 100% reciprocated.”

“I can tell,” you laugh breathily, and he’s so happy to hear that some of your anxiety has dissolved in that sweet kiss. He’s absolutely infatuated with you in every aspect. He leans in for a soft, quicker kiss on the lips and savors the feeling of warmth he gets. “Dork.”, he whispers.

“Only for you.”

[dudeandduchess]

How about a really angsty screaming fight that makes the reader question about her marriage and future with modern kyo pls? Thanks soooo much 🙏 I’m ready to cry this week. I got my tissues (T_T)

Oooh, hey bby. I do apologize bc there isn’t much screaming here. But I did cry while writing this bc I felt so sorry for Kyō... so there’s that. Hope you like it tho. 💜✨

***

Kyōjurō x F!S/O: Regrets (Modern AU, SFW Scenario):

Warnings: Angst, Financial Problems, Screaming, Marital Problems, Language

A frustrated sigh passed (Y/n)’s lips, as she tossed the whole sheaf of bills in her hand onto the table. Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes, while a frown marred her usually cheerful face.

She couldn’t even begin to describe how she felt— just looking at the small stack of papers in front of her made her head spin. Not because she didn’t understand them, but more because of the fact that she didn’t know where she was going to get the money to pay for them.

Having grown up in a privileged home— with parents who paid for everything for her— she wasn’t used to not having them to fall back on. And, even though it had been three years since she’d run away to get married to Kyōjurō, she still still had a hard time coming to grips with the fact that she couldn’t rely on anyone but herself anymore.

Not even her husband could help her out; what with him already holding a full time job at Kimetsu Academy.

Hell, she was already juggling two part-time jobs, on top of having to attend nursing school— in an effort to make something of herself. She didn’t want to give her parents the satisfaction of knowing that they had been right all along.

That choosing Kyōjurō had been wrong all along.

Because, even she knew, that things would have been drastically different if she’d chosen to stay with her parents all those years ago. She would have gone off to ToDai as a medical student— like she’d always dreamed of.

She wouldn’t have had to settle for working from six in the morning to twelve in the afternoon at a coffee shop near her school on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays— while having to work from five in the evening to ten at night on Tuesdays and Thursdays. On top of that, she had to attend her classes during her free time.

(Y/n) only ever got Sundays off but, even then, her Sundays were spent doing homework and studying. Her schedule was stretched so thin that she barely even had time to eat or sleep, let alone clean their apartment and run the errands that needed to be done.

Before she knew it, her tears had already begun to fall down her face in hot rivulets. And she could do nothing but to bury her head in her hands, as well as press the heels of her palms against her eyes; all in an effort to keep her tears at bay.

Because she knew that her tears would solve nothing. They wouldn’t pay for the huge difference that they still needed to pay their rent and all of their utilities on time.

Still, her tears never ceased. In fact, they only gained more traction as the minutes ticked by; dulling her senses and wreaking havoc on her ability to breathe.

Her lungs felt like hell, and her eyes were so red and puffy by the time that her tears had dried out.

But, even then, she couldn’t pull herself up from her hunched position against the dining table.

In the end, she had to admit that her parents were right.

Marrying Kyōjurō was a mistake.

“I’m home!” The aforementioned man called out tiredly from the front door. He made quick work of taking his shoes off, then moved to loosen his tie— right before he padded down the dark hallway, right to where the only room in their tiny apartment where the light was on. “Why is it so dark in here? (Y/n)?”

She didn’t want to blame him— she really didn’t— but part of her knew that it was also because of him that they were in their current predicament.

Kyōjurō had blown off all of their savings to pay for his father’s debts and, while that was noble of him to do, it was also extremely stupid— because the old bastard had never even thanked them for their help.

“(Y/n)? Baby, what’s wrong?” The young man asked quietly, his eyes immediately landing on the small stack of bills on the table— before flitting up to his crying wife, and immediately putting the pieces together.

Slowly, he set his bag down on the floor and moved to pat her shoulder.

Only, the moment his hand made contact with her body, she slapped it away and turned to cast him the most hateful look he’d ever seen on her face.

“You know very well what the fuck’s wrong!” (Y/n) snarled angrily, not caring if the neighbors heard her. Because she had been keeping things in for a long time, and had been trying to be optimistic about things— but enough was enough.

She was done trying to fool herself into thinking that she was going to be fine; that they were going to be fine.

Because, frankly, they weren’t.

Abruptly, she stood up from the rickety, old chair that she’d been sitting on, and gritted her teeth in an effort to muffle the sobs that threatened to bubble free from her lips.

It hurt her throat to keep forcing them down, making it feel so tight and strained that all her effort became wasted when the first sob managed to break free. “Our life is shit, Kyōjurō! We don’t have enough money to pay our bills, to pay our rent, hell— we don’t even have enough money for food! On top of that, you’re rarely even home early; always preferring to go out with your co-teachers after class!

“Well, they can afford to go out; you can’t. We can’t. And you’re not even trying to help me out here— I’m tired, Kyō,” (Y/n) uttered brokenly through sobs and breathless gasps, her glare never wavering in its intensity. “I’m so fucking tired.”

Her voice had tapered down to a quieter tone towards the end of her spiel, but it made her sound even more ominous than anything.

“It’s not like I’m not trying to find another job, (Y/n),” Kyōjurō shot back at his wife, his own expression filled with irritation and frustration at her previous words to him.

Because she wasn��t the only one who was tired. He also had to take his job home, as making lesson plans had to be done over the weekend for a multitude of classes. And, on top of that, he was also looking for a part time job that would allow him to work from home.

But, so far, he hadn’t had any luck.

“I’m trying here. I really am!” The last sentence came out as a shout, as the young man threw his hands up in the air. “Fuck!”

It wasn’t like him to curse, but he didn’t know what else to say. His own tears pricked the backs of his eyes, yet no matter how hard he tried to push them back, they still escaped and began to mar his cheeks.

A long and very uncomfortable silence stretched between the couple after that; with both of them simply staring at the other as they cried. No one dared to make a move— not that they could have deigned to even lift a finger, as all of their limbs felt heavy.

All weighed down with hopelessness and grief.

And, as if their situation wasn’t worse enough, (Y/n) finally opened her mouth to put more fuel to the fire.

“Getting married was a mistake. Look at how we turned out; this wasn’t what I saw in our future,” The young woman whispered through her tears. Her vision was blurry, and her voice was scratchy at best, yet she never looked away from her husband. “Look at us, Kyō. I can’t do this anymore. I want a divorce.”

“No, (Y/n)... please...” Kyōjurō pleaded, shaking his head and moving to hold his wife by her biceps. “Please, don’t do this to me. I need you. I love you. Please, (Y/n), I’m begging you...”

His hands were shaking, and he felt as if he were having an out of body experience— what with how lightheaded he suddenly felt.

However, despite his tear-filled pleas, the young woman still shook her head sadly. “Ask yourself, Kyōjurō: is this marriage still worth fighting for? Because I don’t think it is anymore.”

[leviathiane]

SHOW US YOUR WROR RAW UNPROCESSED WHOLE GRAIN ORGANIC NOTES

this is going to be a long-ass post i am so sorry to Everyone! i take a lot of notes.

So, as You specifically know (as well as all of my lovely Soggers) I take a LOT of notes. Obsessively. I write fucking everything bc i have very little memory and very much paranoia. This results in literal Piles of notes. Raw planning, on paper, on my phone– doodles of scenes im brainstorming, bulletpoints, entire SCRIPTS– it’s all there but scattered (I’ve got scenes planned in the margins of my goddamn anthropology notes and deciphering it was a NIGHTMARE) 

I won’t even upload all the photos of my writing notebook, because itd be like 50 pages of illegible nonesense. but heres a couple of planning phase pages. (may be hard to read, I dropped this notebook both into some tidepools, into a creek on campus, and accidentally leaked my waterbottle onto it in my backpack :/) 

if you can’t tell already, yes they all look exactly like this. Some are even more illegible, because I wrote them with the notebook half under my actual class notes. Because i wrote most of them in class. During lectures. And pretending very badly that i was not doing exactly that. (pay attention in class please i got away with this bc i was filling up elective units) 

I’m also flat out MISSING a large portion of my notes bc some of it? isnt even in the damn notebook. its on a sheet of binder paper, or on the empty back of an assignment. I’ve now lost most of those notes, but the ones i do still have are just as (even more, actually) indecipherable chicken scratch: 

Wow, how clean and tidy and easy to follow! i am in hell. 

and this doesnt mention the PAGES and PAGES of outlines that are on my laptop, and the pages of outlined scenes that are on the notes app of my phone. if i put them all, you would have entire chapter spoilers up to the very end of the story so i cant post a lot of them– and also theres just a goddamn lot of them. currently i have 16 pages of outlining. There are no spacing breaks. It is a solid 16 page block of text. Looking at it gives me a migraine. 

some assorted notes which i have dredged up from the deleted parts of the main draft google doc go all the way back to when i started Wror in June and they are Barely more readable than my handwriting on sheer account of: articulation is not my strength. These include: 

“Ch 8 plan: sabo gets trained specially, awakens his armament haki, beats ace in a bunch of spars and proves himself to be anything but vulnerable. The boys are like “we fucking recognize that technique ryu taught you before us!!” and goad ryu into finally starting them both on basic haki training, just to awaken it, since sabo already has. Also this is the chapter that ace finally confronts ryu for his devil fruit after ryu confirms that some devil fruit users can’t be hurt without haki and ace immediately catches onto that and tries to slam his pipe through ryus head. It doesn’t work, ryu catches the weapon with a haki covered hand, to avoid turning to flame with hit and ace just gets frustrated and accuses ryu of hiding his devil fruit, because he remembers what he saw in grey terminal and that now that he has seen haki he can distinguish it from what he saw and he’s sure no one could do what ryu did. He calls ryu a hypocrite for coddling them even after telling them to stop coddling sabo and ryu has to sit them down and explain that yes he does have powers and he has been hdiing it and explains his reasoning. However instead of understanding th eboys just get fired up and say they don’t wnt to be scared of fire, especially not when it means ryu isn’t taking them seriously in a spar. Ryu finally agrees to start them on desensitization training for fire trauma. Fire desensitization training happens on the beach, so that they have water nearby in case things get out of hand. At some point ace gives ryu a considering look and is just like “if you have a devil fruit that means you can’t swim either right?” and ryu is basically just like “lmao yeah” and then ace immediately attempts to drown him. Lots of murder attempts in ace’s department toget his older brother to be less of an idiot with little success lol(extra: ace tried to attack ryu earlier both to confirm that ryu has a devil fruit that would force him to use haki to hide it, and because he now knows that he CAN’T hurt ryu without haki and as thus can’t beat him and make him admit he’s awake without being good at haki.)” [chapter 8] 

“Small sabo lost his hat and goggles in the incident and while he doesn’t remember having them future sabo notices he looks uncomfortable and keeps touching his hair and head. Ace yells at him for it thinking he bandaging are bothering him and that he can’t touch them but little sabo just comments that something about it feels wrong. Luffy blurts our that he had a hat, like luffy does, But he doesn’t now ace begrudgingly mentions that they can’t get a new one in town. Future sabo doesn’t even hesitate and just plops his own hat onto his younger selves head. It clearly too big for him, and almost falls over his eyes but he grins up at future sabo and is like “wow!! Thank you! I’ll take care of it till I have one of my own” and creates a paradox like Luffys own hat. The footsteps younger sabo has yet to fill. This HAS to happen AFTER the talk where they explain that future and past sabo are both the same person, to give little sabo that pressure.” [chapter 9]

“(Right after this older sabo takes them down to the ocean so that they can play a little and desensitize themselves and immediately fucks himself over when he goes weak in the water bc he somehow fucking forgot his own devil fruit again and now even younger sabo is on his case about not letting him near the fucking ocean that little goddamn HYPOCRITE—) )” [for chapter 9]

“Ch 9 plan: they finally leave dawn island. Starts with the boys getting a haircut after training and luffy mentions how long it’s been since they’ve last needed a haircut, giving sabo and ace time to point out that it’s been 2 months now since ryu joined them, and that sabo was completely healed by now. The boys are now aware of the basics of haki, and while luffy hasnt awakened either yet ace and sabo both have a little bit of weak armament haki. (sabo won’t awaken observational haki until he gets his memories back) ryu tries to sneak off into the city to steal a boat but his brothers refuse to leave him behind and keep sneaking out after him, not wanting him to go alone and saying that since he’s been training them they’re clearly stronger and he needs to let them do this. Ryu eventually just lets it go because why the fuck not it’s a dream and they make him feel better. They get the boat out on open ocean and finally fucking sail out, cheering loudly, ryu struggling to make them all calm down but also not really trying. He’s happy as shit, and they’re all so excited and happy and sabo dips a hand into the waves and then smiles so fucking wide and tackles ryu so violently they both nearly tip into the water and it’s just very very good. “ [also for ch 9] 

** I flat out dont Have any outlining from before chapter 6, because i only started actually outling chapters after that. i tend to just sit down and Write up until i hit a plot point or writers block and then am forced to actually think it through and plan rather than letting it come naturally. thats also why the quality and editing is better in later chapters despite everything being written within the same time frame. 

besides entire chapter outlines, there are the scene specific phone notes like:

“(ADDED) Right after they leave dawn, when sabo is sure they’ve gotten enough of a head start, he calls Garp. He doesn’t say who he is, but that all of the boys are safe and happy with him and has them all talk into the phone to assure him that they’re fine. Garp is honestly just pissed off he doesn’t know who’s calling and when he asks sabo just laughs and says a disobedient brat before hanging up. “

“(ADDED) TO EXPAND ON CH 3: sabo gets offered the chance to go with dragon, and he hesitates on the offer to go through with his previous life with the family he’s made in the revolutionary again. He almost agrees, because the bought of losing them in this lifetime is near excruciating but reminds himself swiftly that it’s no place for his brothers and not what they’d really want, and he wants selfishly to be with them as long as he Can until he “inevitably” wakes up. The boys are visibly relieved by this, especially ace. (Sabo gets asked who he is by dragon, who wants to know more about the stranger with his son, but dragon has always been quicker to make connections no one guessed and he just smiled knowingly at sabo and tells him he’s sure the other will have no trouble finding them if he’s in need. Sabo in turn warns him to keep Kuma close, and to look for a slave girl named koala.)”

I have…. many of these. I have Many of Everything. 

finally, i have scene doodles. if i hit a bad writers block it usually helps me to sketch scenes or the character designs to regain my grip on what the hell is happening in the plot– Breach of Intention has character design sketches, pakcbond has MANY scene sketches, even some of my nsfw has some sketches. my wror skecthes arent Good of course, I am an art teacher for children and that means i am more often explaining the color wheel and brush techniques over drawing perfect human replicas– and i just dont really make a lot of fanart? ive never drawn sabo before but i sure have a bunch now. i wont include close ups because they genuinely suck but heres an example pic 

So… yeah thats about everything. this is a VERY long post and yet i only included like maybe ¼ or 1/5 of all the notes i have dbskhjgfkjadns lmk if anyone wants more (or notes for my Other stories, which contain NO WHERE the same absurd amount of shit that wror does.)

[kyle-hunt]

[ tom holland, twenty one, cismale, he/him/his ] ━ hey, I just saw [ kyle hunt-bentley ] walking down the streets of crownsville. they’ve lived in town for [ one week ], and you can catch them around town working as a [ student / grocery store clerk ]. I hear they’re known to be [ enthusiastic & honest ] and [ condescending & insecure ]. if asked, they would say their aesthetic would be [ chewed pens, night walks, organized bookshelves, stargazing, skateboarding, bake-off competitions,  loud music, sleeping in on a rainy day, singing in the car ]. 

hey everyone!!! i'm so excited to be here and write with all of you. let me know if you want to plot, if you like this i'll slide into your dms or just send me a message

now for the main show, here’s a long ramble about kyle:

background

triggers: addiction, anxiety, depression

kyle theodore hunt-bentley was born on june 26th (he's a cancer, so you know he's sensitive af) in Arizona. he has two older siblings, one of them lives in crownsville ( @aaron-bentley )

apparently, his parents thought it would be funny to give him two names and two surnames, bc sure the kid has time to write all that in a limited space.

don't mention stars, planets or space because he will never shut up (why? idk i know shit about that but here we are) among his other interests are 80′s hits, unsolved crimes, baking (but he’s bad, so maybe he has a chance at nailed it! fingers crossed), cars and dogs movies (even if he cries his eyes out) he also likes rom-coms because he doesnt know what love is but likes the idea of it okay?

anyway... he is very smart, the kind of kid that annoys the rest of his classmates because he CANT stop participating in class and enjoys correcting his teachers. he is also the kind of guy that would borrow you his homework so you can copy it, he's soft okay?

he was bullied *pretends to be shocked* but he really didn't care? i mean he cared because it sucked, but he believed it was only because they were jealous of how smart he was (did i mention he can be a condescending little shit? well, he is.

he did one year at jerome's high school before begging his mother to transfer him somewhere more challenging. she accepted and he moved to scottsdale to finish high school. he stayed there with some relatives.

kyle was accepted into caltech and mit, but decided to move to massachusetts because california was too close to arizona and how could he reject the opportunity of moving across the country?

he majored in physics with a minor in astronomy. of course, he felt more comfortable there than any other place as many people had the same interests but he also realized that he wasn't the smartest in the room and his insecurities began to manifest.

by his junior year, kyle could barely handle the pressure of staying top of his class (which he achieved but at what cost?!!!) he began consuming adderall but let's just say he wasn't very good at keeping it a secret and his professors found out and sent him to therapy (but he only went to a few sessions). by the end of that year, he had a nervous breakdown. his anxiety was higher than ever and he was starting to develop depression.

one of his professors advised him to take a year off, but he said no. however, the pressure only increased and so did his use of adderall. finally, he was pretty much forced to take a sabbatical and he was so ashamed that he hid it from his family and just pretended that everything was peachy.

however, he was supposed to graduate this year and his parents started to ask questions so he had no choice but to come clean. his parents told him to go back to arizona and spend the reminding of his sabbatical there, but he refused.

during the past year, kyle started therapy again and for the most part, he's been taking the meds and going to his appointments. he also realized that his urge to take adderall decreased (but sometimes still takes it just for the high, but he is a lot more discreet now)

he decided to move to crownsville as his older brother lives here. he arrived a week ago and got a job at the grocery store as a clerk.

personality

he is very nice, and friendly. his social skills have improved in the last years and now he tries to start the interactions instead of waiting for people to talk to him.

lives inside his head which is why sometimes he could appear to be offbeat. he is always thinking of something (which doesn't help his anxiety) and it leads people to think that he is detached or not interested.

he can get very passionate if you start to talk about something he likes to the point that his conversations can border on incoherence as he tries to say everything he wants in just a few words.  

like i said, my boy here can be super condescending. he enjoys sharing what he knows but sometimes he makes it so complicated for others that he gets frustrated when people don't understand what he wants to say and ends the whole thing with a 'never mind'.

if you really want to make him uncomfortable talk about relationships. he's never had a girlfriend. he kissed someone in a party back in college but yeah, of course, he's still a virgin and has no idea how to flirt and most likely he would never realize you are flirting with him until you say it.

he is demisexual and hetero-romantic ¿? maybe idk yet, he doesn't know yet

connections

best friend: they could be friends since arizona or massachusetts. i have two ideas for this: one, they are both space geeks and they bonded over that and talk about constellations and physics problems and it's just a cute brotp. or they can be complete opposites, maybe he is more of a jock but for some bizarre reasons they like each other and now they are best friends even if makes zero sense.

crush: this person was the one that made his heart stop throughout high school or college (or now why not). maybe they talked a few times but they never were too close because she's probably out of his league and when they did he probably came across as the dork he is.

half-brother: so, aaron is literally his brother from the same mother but different father, but he doesn't see him as a half-brother. they are very close and probably the only person in the family that he called at least once a week (the rest he only called when they demanded him to do so).

half-sister: she's older than him, daughter of his father from his first marriage. i think they'd be close but maybe not as much as with aaron, maybe because they have different personalities but kyle still adores her even if he doesn't express it.

former classmates: people he met while he studied at MIT or in high school.

co-workers/customers: he currently works at the grocery store, so the possibilities are endless because everyone has to visit it at least once, right?

anything you want really. i’m sucker for plots so come at me with whatever idea you have

[acadeamic]

Hi, una! (What a great name btw!!) I was looking through your posts and (I hope this isn't creepy lol sorry!) I noticed you're taking AP bio - I'm taking that class too! I'm like, super not doing well in that class and I was wondering if you had any advice/tips/resources on how you study for ap bio. Sorry if this comes across as stalkerish lol I'm just really struggling in that class rn. Thanks so much! 💛

hi anon!

first off, thank you so much!! you are SO sweet:') dw, it's not creepy at all, i don't mind a bit! it's why that info is there, hehe

as for AP bio, i can't say it's my BEST class, but i do have some tips & methods for both studying & exam-taking, which is how i'm going to split my answer here!

for general studying

focus on big ideas! my teacher often stressed which things the exam prioritized, and told us which things always showed up on the exam vs. what you only need to know a little bit of. as a general rule, i'd say make sure you know the basic concepts, even if you can't remember specific things.

don't rely too heavily on the textbook. there's a lot of information in there, which can be hard to absorb. not all that information is essential, either. if you have access to it, i would use the princeton review or the 5 steps to a 5 books. they're a lot more compact, succinct, and easier to study from.

find good ways to remember things! my teacher sometimes made these semi-elaborate stories that would help us conceptualize or remember particular processes. for example: the action-potential graph and process was given to us as a potassium party, with the sodium-potassium pump being the bouncer that only let in potassium up until a certain voltage, and so on. it's a bit simplistic, but i swear it works! another thing she did was have us make cutouts to explain the DNA to RNA process, so that we could act it out with the paper shapes. you may want to ask your teacher or someone who knows about bio to share one of these methods if they have one, or search it up online as something like "easy ways to remember [xyz]".

some things you really will just have to memorize. for example: the types of reproducive isolation. for me, what works best is note-taking and flashcards. i like to write things repeatedly until they stick, with intervals in between to see how much i can name & describe at the top of my head. there are other ways to go about plain memorization, but this is what works for me and it's nice to be able to look back at what i've written before tests to study!

albert.io has TONS of AP bio MCQs and FRQs. i would definitely take advantage of this resource if you can. the quantity of questions can be a bit overwhelming, so don't start from the beginning but rather where you need the most practice (albert also has practice questions for tons of other courses too, AP or non-AP, so check that out if you're interested!)

personally what i like to do before tests and some exams is, as i kind of said, rewriting my notes. not in as much detail, but key ideas, concepts or diagrams that i feel are important or are things that faded from my mind throughout the year and that i now have to relearn.

ASK FOR HELP! if you have any resource centers at your school, go to them! if what your AP bio teacher is saying doesn't click with you, try someone else with some teaching experience! watching videos and taking notes are great, but sometimes you just need another human being to give you some one-on-one help and explanations for things you're confused about. if you don't have some kind of science help center at your school, i would ask your peers! if there's something you don't understand, most students really don't mind taking 5-10 minutes to run through something with you.

for taking the exam

the AP bio exam is a reading exam as well a science exam. oftentimes you don't have to know exactly what's going on in order to get the right answer. things like drawing graphs in the FRQ or making educated guesses based on word choice in the MCQ are things you can do w/o remembering specific details. figure out what the question is asking first without worrying about the knowledge you have! for example: an MCQ may be about the ethics of a certain medical procedure. one answer choice will probably start with "should.... [xyz]" as opposed to "can/how does [xyz]" and you can immediately rule out the others because of the word choice, which is factual and not theoretical, without knowing exactly what the biology-related information behind the question is.

in the middle of the MCQ, they're going to have a LONG stretch of questions based off of a (series of) graph(s). they do this because it's where you're probably getting tired. you'll be burned out, and you'll want to either rush through it, or you'll be frustrated bc it's so long. LEAVE THOSE. skim through it and answer what you know, but if there's something that currently looks too unappealing, then circle it and come back. once you're done, you can come back to it with a set of fresh eyes and you'll often notice that they were less complicated than you initially thought.

on a similar note, don't be afraid to skip questions to come back to them. if it's taking you more than a few seconds the first time around and/or you have no idea what the question's about, circle it and move on. get as many questions bubbled in before going back and spending a bit more time on the questions you weren't sure about. again, you may be surprised to find that it wasn't too complicated after all. if you're feeling tired of MCQs in general, skip to the math portion at the end! do those, it's a different structure than the MCQ (which is the bulk of the section) and it may clear your mind a little bit.

for the FRQ, again, it's a reading exam. never leave a question unanswered. if you remember vaguely what they're referring to in the question, try and get down a sentence with some key words. the grading rubric doesn't care about eloquency, but about the relevance of the words you put on paper.

some FRQs are meant to be shorter and more detailed than the others. the first two questions are worth 10 points each and take more time to complete. if you're not sure, just draw the graph they ask you to and move on for now. the other questions are worth 3, 4 maybe 5 points? get through those and DON'T spend too much time writing for them. those often only require, like, 2 sentences. save your time!!

i hope this was at least somewhat helpful! good luck, anon, lmk how it goes💓

[fromedcns-blog]

*  medalion rahimi, age 24, she/her | oh, them? that’s ghalia majid. they’ve lived in carina bay for, like, twenty four years. last time i spoke to them they were a sports journalist, and if i remember correctly, they’re a cancer. seeing them around always makes me think of keys clicking away on a keyboard, floral printed skirts and birds chirping in the morning. ( lissa, 21, est, she/her )  

hey guys it me lmao i’m so excited to bring ghalia here, i’ve been playing her for a while now and love her a lot so i hope u guys do too cus i love it here and i think/hope she’ll fit in great!! this whole intro post is pretty much taken from a bio i wrote for her i just kinda cut it up and added some new things to switch it up so here ya go!! 

ghalia is always set out to do the right thing and she’s definitely a #momfriend type. making sure her friends and everyone around her is ok or asking if they need anything/being concerned is a huge part of her personality.. even if it can be overbearing at times. she sees the world in a positive light rather than the much more realistic hell hole it can be. sometimes this can make her seem naive, but she’s just someone who finds it more beneficial to see the good side of things. 

she can be kinda nosy and annoying like … no joke about that. she loves taking care of people but she can also be kinda invasive and too In Your Face about it without even realizing. she absolutely means well but sometimes doesn’t see herself crossing a line until it’s too late 

she’s also quite ambitious and believes that people can achieve anything they want to (motivational speaker much?) she always has her sights set on something bigger than herself and for the most part, she feels like her potential has no limits. she thrives off of opportunity and optimism even if she lives in her head a lot, and even if what’s brewing in her head really makes no sense or has no possibility of ever happening. she looks at life as en empty canvas, just waiting for her to fill it with her thoughts and desires but as most things are, it’s easier said than done.

this doesn’t stop her from wanting the greatest life she could possibly have, but she has high expectations for herself and doesn’t want to fall short of them. with this kind of personality, it may seem like she’s isolating herself from others when she has her mind set on something, but she’s an extrovert through and through and loves people, but sometimes has a hard time bursting out of the dream space in her head.

she’s been this way since she was a child. her parents are both immigrants, they came to american from tehran, iran in the 80s and created a new life themselves and worked to make sure their children had better opportunities growing up. they ended up in new york at first for their careers (her mom is a teacher, her dad is a professional photographer and he teaches lessons at a studio) and eventually settled in carina bay before ghalia was born because it seemed like a great place to raise a family. ghalia looks up to them like no one else, she admires their courage and their strength and their tenacity to never settle for less than what they deserve. so it’s because of them, not just blind hope, that ghalia reaches for the even beyond the stars and keeps reaching even when her arms can’t go anymore.

although she’s a bright and spirited person who always wants to do right by others, that also causes ghalia to have a number of downfalls that all add up and can create quite a monster of an emotional mess. she’s stubborn and a special kind of reckless; feels embarrassed admitting she failed at something she put all her effort into even when the horizon that is the finish line really wasn’t as close as she thought. disappointment is her enemy yet she comes face to face with it often, usually from her own doing. she wants to know everything all the time, her curious mind wanders and wanders until it finds trouble she never knew existed. when she drills too hard into conversation and hits sore spots and doesn’t realize it until she’s made everyone around her uncomfortable– she wants to be open with people, when it’s not always possible. not everyone can relate to the positivity she thrives on and that frustrates her sometimes.

other tidbits/fun facts:

ghalia has always been interested in writing and photography (something she got from her dad), the two have been her main creative outlet growing up. she majored in journalism at wake forest university and decided to focus on sports as she grew into her career path and works for a local newspaper covering mostly soccer through the nc courage and north carolina fc! 

she played soccer growing up and into highschool and thought she might continue into college but honestly she wasn’t THAT good and decided the sidelines were better suited for her anyways where she could help behind the scenes and volunteered wherever they needed her and she was also the team photographer for a while 

((listen i’m a huge sports nerd so why not live vicariously through her lolol))

she’s a very talkative, very social ‘lil thing. she’s always been that kind of kid in school who got moved for talking to the person sitting her, but she was also that person who talked and talked no matter if her neighbor was a stranger or not. that gets her into trouble sometimes. she can be overwhelming when having conversations, she always has a million things to say and usually not enough time to say it. also, not everyone always wants to hear the oh so thrilling details about her walk back to her apartment yesterday, but she’d swear on her life that you *need* to hear about the squirrel that followed her the entire way. bottom line is, she loves to talk but needs to be told to shut up every once in a while. it’s only for her own good.

she’s a lesbian and very into girls although she’s kinda shy about dating and has only been in one serious relationship 

besides her main passions/hobbies being photography and writing, ghalia also enjoys nature, staying up late reading wiki articles on conspiracy theories, watching paranormal story time videos on youtube at 4 am, and she also wants to learn as many languages as she can. for now, she can speak conversational farsi, the language that, outside of english, is the main language her family speaks, and it’s important to her that she’s able to keep in touch with her relatives still living in iran. she’s not so great at writing it quite yet but she’s working on it. she’s not too bad at speaking spanish, she took several years of classes ever since middle school and falls in and out of practicing it currently. she’s attempted french and german, but only got as far as a couple activities on duolingo before her attention got dragged to her next project. one day she’ll be fluent in them all, one day.

her family is her heart, she’ll defend them until the day she dies and longer, they’re her lifeline and especially her brother, reza majid, who’s 5 years younger and the apple of ghalia’s eye. she has a protective nature about her and that’s due in part to how much she loves her family and little brother, and only wants the best for them, and she feels that way about everyone she cares about.

some connection ideas i just thought of!!!

childhood friends - from like age 4 or something like weeee lil things since ghalia has lived here her whole life, that’d be cute

roommates - it’d be fun if they got along really well and were friends beforehand we love a cute roommate connection

coworkers - from the local paper she works at mayhaps??

former teammates / college friends - ik wake forest is very specific but it could also be friends/teammates from high school or something like that :^)

i’d also love some kinda former relationship?? i imagine her to only have ever been in one real serious relationship, maybe kinda recently or something and it was a big deal and had a big impact on ghalia and maybe there’s lingering feelings or unresolved feelings, idk!!! we could work it out!! 

id LUV a ride or die friend or multiple

also maybe someone who can’t stand ghalia bc she’s nosy and annoying

i don’t know im going out to dinner soon with my fam so i haven’t thought much more about plots but i’m open to all and any ideas! if anyone wants to chat on discord feel free to hmu there @ #lissa7602 or here in the IMs!!! <3333 

[milesgonzalomorales]

1-50 for studyblr (all or nothing motherfucker ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

I owe you my life anon I wanted to answer these 

What year are you?Third-year as of summer 2018

What’s your major/what do you think you want to major in?Double major in Political Science and History

If applicable, what is your thesis about?                                                        n/a

Do you think you picked the right major?                                                      For sure. At first I was uncertain in my choice bc I switched quite a bit in my first/second year bw English and History, but then I realized that English classes were making me dislike my relationship w/ literature. I love my poli sci and history classes 

Ultimate educational goals?                                                                                 Getting my PhD in International Relations but i have no job to pay for it 

Career goals?                                                                                                         Working with an international organization like the UN or the IMF

Do you think your goals are realistic?                                                                 Certainly. They may be difficult to reach, but they are within my grasp so long as I keep working towards them. 

What classes are you taking right now?                                                             Canadian government/politics, introductory political theory and a comparative history class on race relations in the US and SA                                      

Favorite class out of everything you’ve ever taken and why?                          Introduction to international relations parts 1 and 2, I took them both in my second year back to back (one in the fall, the other in the winter) while I was still in the political science minor. I loved this class for several reasons. First, the content was so interesting that reading the textbook was never a chore and I was always in the first row of the lecture hall ready 15 minutes before classes even started. Another reason I liked this class was bc I had a really good experience with the ta who was my tut. leader in both semesters - there is only one other ta that I’ve had who has been that phenomenal in their teaching. This ta along with another prof have been really influential in my learning and I don’t think thank you will ever be enough for what they both did.  It was actually through these classes that I decided to major in poli sci bc I loved it so much. 

Least favorite class ever and why?                                                                       An Ancient Greek history class bc it was at night and the prof had us read exclusively from a sourebook and his slides sucked.                                

Current favorite class and why?                                                                          Canadian government, I’m learning a lot of cool stuff about my country that high-school teachers never did justice to. Also the prof is really enthusiastic and it’s contagious. 

Current least favorite class and why?                                                                 Political theory… it’s not that I hate it, but some of the texts are really difficult to read at times. Lectures are fun though, the prof really knows how to keep an audience engaged.                                                                                   

Favorite STEM field?                                                                                            I took an anthropology class in first year and loved it, the tutorials were really interesting bc we actually got to handle bone material!! It was nothing like humanities tutorials where you discuss and debate. A fun experience overall and I loved learning about the science parts too even if it was a little complicated sometimes…                      

Favorite humanities subject?                                                                               Political science, hands down. 

Class that you’ve always wanted to take but never had the chance?              I want to take a class on ethnic conflict and security, but it’s a 4th year class and i don’t have the prereqs (yet!) 

Do you use caffeine and if so how much daily?                                                 Never, unless Coffee Crisp counts 

What’s your preferred method of taking in caffeine?                                         ^ see above answer                                                                          

Have you ever tried study drugs?                                                                        Nope, not a huge fan of supplements like that.  

Are you a homework-in-the-morning kind of person?                                       Homework whenever I can type of person                         

Do you listen to music while you study?                                                            Used to, but now it distracts more than anything so I’ll put on some ambient noises or just work silently. 

Crowded area or quiet place?                                                                               Quiet place, but one that has people in it so I feel obligated to work 

What’s your preferred writing implement?                                                          bic gelocity 0.7 black and blue pens. i cannot write w/o them but they run out so fast.                         

Do you need to work out before you can study well?                                        work out??? haven’t heard that term in years 

Describe your perfect study environment.                                                          Idk the specifics, but good lighting, nice temperature, a rolling chair and a high desk i guess? 

Are you procrastinating right now?                                                                     Not really, I have time before assignment deadlines roll in. 

What was the last thing you procrastinated?                                                     Reading Thomas Hobbes Leviathan, the language was too complex and I shied away from it 

Are you a perfectionist?                                                                                        Not really, you make a mistake and you move on, I find that studyblr aesthetic notes are counterproductive 

Do you like easy classes or do you feel bad if you’re not working hard?       I don’t think there is such thing as ‘easy’ classes, it depends on what an individual’s strengths and weaknesses are. That being said, I had a light course load for a first year class where the prof felt bad for assigning us 10 pages of reading a week when another prof was assigning 80-100.    

Are you a good test taker?                                                                                    Most of the time, but with essays, I need to write outlines or I lose my train of thought and get frustrated and anxious about the time and my argument. 

What are you the proudest of out of all the assignments you’ve ever had?   A paper I did for my critical writing for history class 2 semesters ago, I contacted that professor regularly and was in her office all the time working with her to keep making it better and when I saw my final grade of 38/40, I cried with happiness. 

Do you talk to your teachers/professors a lot?                                                  Oh yeah, I’m that student who stays after class, spends half the time at office hours, asks questions during class, you name it. Professors are people too, just really accomplished people. Also they’re pretty cool and they want to see you succeed. 

Describe your favorite teacher/professor and why you like them.                   Okay again not a prof, but this person is training to become a prof and i truly hope he’s successful for several reasons. He has a lot of cool book recs both academic/non-academic, calls out the bullcrap that is academic writing, genuinely goes above the paygrade to make sure that students succeed and most importantly, is enthusiastic about the content himself. (press f to pay respects) 

Describe your least favorite teacher/professor and why you dislike them.     Hnghhhh there was these 2 profs who taught intro ir part 1 and one of those guys was an absolute loser, he constantly made holocaust jokes and other tasteless comments and when i went to talk to him about my final paper, he told me that i’d look like someone who might like to write mine about is/s like ://. never told that prof anything about my academic interests so shut your mouth 

Have you ever thought about becoming a teacher/professor?                         A few times, but I don’t think I could do it. I’d be one of those rambling profs who never end up finishing their scheduled content. 

Most profound thing ever said to you by a teacher/professor?                         Not a prof, but a ta once said that my ideas were worthy of respect and that i shouldn’t feel the need to apologize for contributions (ta: you are valid me: holy fuck i’d die for you) 

Best feedback you’ve ever gotten on something academic?                            Best feedback I’ve ever gotten was on a paper I wrote for my ir class in the first semester where i had a lot of pitfalls in my argumentation style so when i wrote one the next semester w/ the same ta marking it, i got a better mark bc i incorporated that feedback. 

Worst study habit and how are you working on it?                                            My worst habit is lacking discipline and I’m working on it by trying to stick to schedules so I can fall back into routine and ultimately be on top of things 

Are you an in-class fidgeter?                                                                                moment of silence for all the pens i’ve dropped while twirling them/taking them apart. 

How’s your handwriting?                                                                                      pretty neat, not to brag. but apparently my f’s are jumping off the lines practically. 

Write “the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” and post a photo.         sorry, too late for that I’m headed to sleep soon. 

Neat or messy notes?                                                                                            A weird combo?? Like messy enough that you have arrows sticking out from all corners and sometimes things are disorganized, but the writing itself is usually very neat unless i’m tired. 

A lot of notes or the bare minimum?                                                                   A lot, for me, the slides are the skeleton and the meat comes from the prof’s mouth. 

Post a photo/scan of your notes from your favorite class.                               I think I uploaded them to my side blog?? anyway it’s late now so can’t do that 

Are you a doodler?                                                                                                I used to be, but I cut the habit bc sometimes I miss key info if I’m not paying attention. 

Post a photo of your doodles if you have any.                                                    lol i used to post a lot under the tag naailah draws 

Do you have pre-test rituals and what are they?                                                Making sure I have more pens than I’ll ever need and checking the ink refills to ensure there’s enough. 

Are you a tangent-question asker?                                                                      Yup, there’s no such thing as a dumb question. Unless it’s answered on the syllabus. That’s a dumb q. 

Do you make jokes in class?                                                                                Sometimes. I’ve cracked some awful puns in my comparative poli class once and the prof’s mic picked up on it bc i sit at the front so you have a room of 200 or so students hearing me laugh about poverty and i swear it sounds bad but it was not as bad w/ context. 

How many hours do you spend on academics per day?                                   A lot… most of my time is spent on studying/procrastinating on it 

What’s something more important to you than school?                                    Life after school and making a real impact in the world, whether it’s small-scale or large.