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#most of it was written last fall so like. I rly need to edit it bc it’s very obviously written by someone who was in a major reading slump
barbreypilled · 1 year
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ok I rly want to finish the extremely long barbcat fic. I also have a backup version w the names changed in case it ends up actually being good
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crispn-n · 5 months
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reason / meaning behind OCs name
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i participated a thread on toyhouse earlier that question "explain the story behind your ocs name" aaand i want to write it more throughly here too.
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Darlene
When i was writing her in early development. She was unnamed yet, she's a typical woman with the habit of using various pet names toward others. She says "oh dear," frequently and address her children or husband with "honey, sweetheart, darlings" etc.
I empty-headedly calls her Darlene—something that sounded similar to darling. It had became her name now ; v ; <3
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George
okay so the name "George" randomly sticks in my brain when I saw his visual. I feel it resonated with him. So i just go with it without much thinking~ Then I remembered that name came from the classic movie Back to The Future, George Mcfly. I was like.. oh..! OHH..?!?! These two are similarly boyfailures who were fortunate enough to meet their true love after falling from a tree or fences! Haha. (ps. editing this gif outta the movie clip makes me nostalgic, i'm going to rewatch this movie sometime soon :D)
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Allen and Frey
's names were randomly picked. No special meaning behind it, wasn't expecting i would be greatly attached to them.....i used to regret on how poorly they were named.. sadly I figured out it's too late to change their names LOL (Unless i extremely changing my mind in the future)
However i coped by giving middle + last names that i like for them and accepted it just fine now! Additionally they share similarly AL in their names...(which has become an advantage for their story ;) they noticed each other presences in class because their names are next to each other on the student list hehe)
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Allen Gracelaine (fullname)
I found the word "Elaine" on google that means bright, sunray, shining light. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Allen Elaine funnily rhymes with each other, but its too short. So I mashed it with the word "Grace", its second alternative that i liked for Allen.
Bam! → Gracelaine. If you put together, Allen Gracelaine could be roughly translated as a rock that shine brightly with gracefulness.💛 I really love her name... Tho im not sure if she has a family name included. It might have some connection to her family background that yet to be revealed.
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the jaiden siblings
As Frey was previously explained above, 'Mika' was also randomly popped out in my head, I think its cute! When I brainstormed for the jaiden siblings full names. I browsed through "christian baby names list" on google..... until i can find something that resonated with them LOL.
Michaella was fitting for Mika's fullname. I like how Rafael rhymed with Alfrey, as if they were reversed. Suitable for brothers who are twins.
By the way, I feel like if Alfrey wasn't named Alfrey, i'd call him "Nathaniel" ... i decided to put it as his middle name. The rest of his siblings' mid name are still wip tho X9
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BONUS : Waffle the dog
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I... dont quite remember why i named him Waffle exactly. Pretty much randomly thinking food names that matched him. But in the story, he does have a reasoning of the name. In his profile, it's written ;
Puppy Waffle used to sit watching mom cook every morning, making him smell like breakfast. For the most part, it'd be waffles. :)
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i think thats all i could write for allen & co. casts for now. The rest of side characters' name are mostly randomly picked, not yet published for public even. Will update it once i have new characters with established design.
I've written the PABears as well, but I might.....just post it separately because ;) it turned out even longer and its better if i make a specific post.
footnoote : i rly need to find a title / name for allen's universe for easier tagging aeguhgegh for now i'll just write #hapimi for the general topic
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dastardlydandelion · 3 years
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So...what kind of horror movie would you write featuring the Hargrove/ Mayfield family? (That you haven't written already lol)
oh boy, u may regret asking me this bc i am indecisive af and i can’t pick just one!
two that i'm actually writing are max as (g is for) ghostface killer in the abcs of neil’s death and also the max + tory nichols werewolf movie fic outlined here. also some more misc gorror junk bc i’m a demon and esp horny for susan wearing blood splatter. but more ideas commence below:
horror movie #1: another creature feature! awhile back @lucdarling sent me an ask abt max + billy hiding smth from susan and her like, playing along, pretending she doesn't know, and one of the scenarios that popped in my head was them keeping a baby bat as a pet. max finds it and she’s only like six or seven, and she thinks it’s going to turn into a vampire. so here is that scenario except horror edition: baby bat is actually a vampire type creature. not rly a vampire like, what’s prolly popping into ur head, like an undead human like dracula or smth, but like a bat monster that sucks blood.
billy being a lil older doesn’t actually think the bat is going to turn into a vampire. he makes fun of max for believing this, but he helps her take care of it anyway bc he thinks it’s cool. susan, like in the non-horror version, knows abt the bat but plays dumb bc she’s feeling a lot of guilt abt max’s difficulty adjusting to the blended fam (as of rn tho, neil has yet to reveal his abusive nature. the red flags are not yet red, more of a brownish maroon, and he is on his best behavior almost all the time, showering susan + max with affection and keeping the swears out of his mouth when he scolds billy in front of them) and knows the lil furry baby makes her happy. she tacitly cleans up after the bat whenever the kids miss a spot (bats poop a lot, dude) and distracts neil, deterring him from discovering it whenever he gets close.
baby bat gets rly big rly fast. and the older it gets, the more it starts to look monstrous. it still has bat features but it’s just like, different. its fangs grow suspiciously long, its hooks grow suspiciously long. its feet are elongated. a dorsal ridge emerges from its spine, spikes at first just flesh but soft fur rather like peach fuzz eventually sprouting. billy catches on that smth is strange abt this animal when it's as long as his forearm after two wks and still growing. he nearly shits a brick when the bat is clinging to his sweater one day and he steps in front of a mirror and only his reflection looks back at him— no bat.
max laughs at him all like, “stupid brother, ofc there’s no reflection. nosferatu is a vampire, vampires don’t have reflections.” 😂
susan catches a glimpse of the thing when nosferatu crawls out of the home max built it in her closet the same wk billy realizes it doesn’t have a reflection, and also almost shits a brick. she doesn’t know what it is, but it’s NOT a fucking bat. not a normal one, anyway! cue a comedy scene where she’s chasing it around the house with a butterfly net and it’s always one flap *ba dum tss* ahead of her, flying just out of reach. she suddenly regrets not getting rid of it sooner, scolding herself for ever allowing her daughter to keep a wild animal.
she can’t catch it. max comes home, susan tells her she needs to get rid of it. max cries, flips her the bird, refuses. billy tho…billy has mixed feelings. he loves nosferatu but he’s worried it’s going to get dangerous. he loves his dad and his dad is dangerous too. he’s stressed out enough, always on edge, knowing that one way or the other, neil is going to hurt him again. he’s already waiting for his dad to hurt him, he doesn’t need the added stress of waiting for nosferatu to hurt him too. and while max is 100% nosferatu’s favorite, it likes billy too. billy’s been handling it since it could fit in the palm of his hand, it trusts him much more than it trusts susan and doesn’t know any different when billy takes it out of the closet when max isn’t around.
billy frees nosferatu at an abandoned farm. there are always bats flying out of the old silo adjacent to the dilapidated barn. while he knows nosferatu isn’t a *normal* bat, it’s still bat like enough that he thinks it might make friends and be happy here…
yeah, that doesn’t stick. before long, nosferatu is feasting on that colony. leeches the blood out of a couple bats nightly. the number of bats increases with nosferatu’s size. meanwhile, max mourns her missing friend. she’s sullen af and won’t speak to susan at all. she thinks susan is the one who got rid of nosferatu. billy never fesses up and susan doesn’t contradict max’s assumption bc she wants the step-siblings to get along.
neil, meanwhile, is getting more comfortable. those maroon flags are slowly but surely brightening to scarlet. he starts sabotaging susan’s plans with her friends, trying to keep her around the house more and more, quietly but steadily eroding her relationships with other people. he’s getting more visibly aggressive when he disciplines billy. he curses him out with a virulent venom that dunks susan’s stomach in ice water and scares max so badly, she runs to susan and hides behind her even though she’s still so mad that susan got rid of her beloved baby vampire.
nosferatu’s appetite surpasses what the bat colony can offer. it’s like the size of a ten yr old human child now. fucker’s big. it doesn’t just have fangs on top, but tusks on bottom. it can’t go out in the sunlight anymore, the sun sears its flesh. it misses max a lot and before, it wasn’t strong enough to fly back to her house. but now it is. it’s extremely strong, actually.
so bc it's hungry, nosferatu grabs a snack along the way. some nameless rando, it swoops down and sucks dry. nourished and much happier, nosferatu makes its way back home. patiently waits outside of max’s bedroom in the moonlight, tapping its hook against the window until she wakes up. initially max is a lil startled— nosferatu looks so different, there’s a beat before she recognizes it— him?? yk, ig it’s male, the og nosferatu was a guy. sure, why not, nosferatu is a boy now.
once she realizes who it is, she is so! happy! max opens the window and embraces her friend. she isn’t freaked out by the blood on its fangs. she’s always known nosferatu is a vampire, albeit, she was thinking he’d look more like dracula than this bat-monster-thingy.
nosferatu moves back into max’s closet. it hangs upside-down from her rod by its weird, elongated feet. we get more shots of nosferatu sucking rando ppl dry at night, tho he remains gentle with max. when max drags billy in to show her he came back, nosferatu is less friendly with him. he’s not aggressive with billy, but he is standoffish. nosferatu’s thought process is somewhere between human and animal. he doesn’t quite cognitively understand that billy took him to the farm with the intent of getting rid of him, but he does understand that the last time he clung to billy, billy left him alone and never came back. max puts two and two together, and realizes it was billy who “stole” her friend. she yells at him a lot, he yells back, she then ices him out.
billy acts out bc he’s upset. runs away, thinks he’s going to find his mom…the cops find him first and call neil. neil is rly embarrassed and pissed abt the whole thing. he breaks down and beats billy in front of the mayfields for the first time. nosferatu smells the blood and it’s time for the main event! we love dead!neil, yes, we do.
nosferatu flies out the closet and right into the living room where billy’s bleeding and teary but biting his lip so they don’t actually fall. susan’s covering max’s eyes but so shocked and tbh, FRIGHTENED, she doesn’t move a muscle beyond that. neil’s got the belt raised, preparing to bring it down again, and nosferatu smashes right into him. neil stumbles, turns back to see this freaky monster looking thing. proceeds to whip the belt at nosferatu. tries to fight him off with the belt and it doesn’t accomplish much beyond pissing him off more— nosferatu, like most classic vampire types, has a healing factor!
max rips her mom’s hands off her face in time to see her pet sink its fangs into her stepdad’s throat. nosferatu sucks neil dry. billy’s a little dazed, not quite frightened. susan is just dead ass frozen, too scared to scream, even. nosferatu crawls over to billy and nudges at him, making sure he’s in once piece and forgiving him in the same go. max darts over and that snaps susan out of her stupor, but she isn’t as fast as our blood-sucking bat monster.
nosferatu stretches his wings out and with a truly impressive wingspan, hugs both of the kids. <3
horror movie #2: a haunting! this one opens with a bang. it’s a tragic horror, beware. we’re in hawkins post s3. billy died at starcourt mall. neil’s obvi had a longstanding abusive mindset and abusive behavior, but he rly takes his grief out on susan and max. mostly susan. she does her best to protect max however she can, whether that means shielding her w her body, sending her out of the house, getting neil’s goat to inspire his ire in max’s place, etc. but sue simply isn’t around all the time and when she isn’t, but max is, well. yk.
one day neil comes home early (bc he lost his job for a violent outburst, tbh) and discovers susan packing a suitcase.
sue fights hard. she rly does. but neil is bigger, heavier, crueler, and to boot, he caught her completely unawares. he kills her. and no, no it’s not some accidental thing where neil makes one bad move rage-blind. he strangles her with his belt. she’s clawing at his arms and making these horrible choked, trapped animal noises. thrashes and twists her body with everything she has trying to get him off but he’s so strong, his grip is unrelenting, and she's growing weaker, lightheaded with the lack of oxygen. strangulation can induce incontinence and when susan blacks out, her piss streams to the hardwood— neil hears that as much as he felt the clawing and heard the noises, even now he could stop, but he doesn’t. he just. doesn’t think his wife has the right to leave him, esp not after his son just did.
neil burns the body and the suitcase in the woods while max is at school. max has been spending as much time as she can (and often with sue’s prompting) outside of the house, so it actually takes her about two days to realize her mother isn’t around. neil tells a pretty convincing story about how susan abandoned them, voice saturated with apology and sorrow. he takes her out for a fancy dinner and promises he’s going to be a better father-- that being a better father is the least he can do now that her mother abandoned her and they are alone in their grief.
max doesn’t know what to think. she’s been preoccupied with her own grief and pain. she finds it hard to believe her mother would just leave her to neil’s wrath. she has a lot of hangups with susan and anger toward her for marrying neil and not getting them out sooner, but she’s also old enough to realize there would be risks involved with that. it’s hard to reconcile the memory of her mother just last wk pinning max to the wall to protect her from neil’s blows with her own bod just abruptly taking off without a word in the middle of the night. but hey, maybe that’s why susan left. maybe she got sick of protecting her, maybe the pain got to be too much and she turned tail.
but also…it’s early october now, abt three months after billy’s death but still fairly warm outside. yet neil is wearing long sleeves. neil never used to button his collared shirts all the way up, and yet. every collar is buttoned. also, mom’s car is still here. why would mom leave without her car?
that ceramic pelican she loved so much is still here too, on the mantle in the living room. it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing she would leave behind, she's had it since max was a baby.
max almost wants to believe neil because she’d rather her mother abandoned her than be dead somewhere, rotting in a storage locker or a hole in the ground. under the earth with the worms, just like billy. max has the worst feeling low in the pit of her gut. she thinks she knows the truth. she thinks abt going to hopper and hesitates bc she’s not sure she could handle it if he actually found smth. or what would happen to her if he did, where she would be sent, who she would end up with.
this movie would be more on the ambiguous end of things. an arthouse horror, if u will.
the days turn into wks and neil is crawling in his skin. the viewer isn’t sure if the shadows he’s seeing, always, always susan-shaped shadows, are of a ghostly nature or if he’s just hallucinating out of guilt. but the signs gradually point to the former— that smth paranormal is indeed going on. bc those scratches and bite marks susan left in his skin?
they do not heal. they do not get infected. they do not become necrotic. but they do not heal, either. days turn into wks and the wounds still look fresh, like she just left them moments ago. neil can’t wear light colors anymore because his wounds weep red into the fabric. he isn’t just seeing susan’s shadows either, he’s smelling her.
he washes his sheets and pillowcases a dozen times and the scent of her shampoo, her lotion, it’s like it’s woven into the fibers. he walks into the hallway and chokes on the aroma of susan’s perfume. he wonders if max is screwing with him, if max figured it out and she’s trying to torture him into a confession. one day he stomps off to max's bedroom, furious, adamant on confronting her. he grabs her doorknob, prepared to yank it open and then lets out a yelp, jerking his hand back with a sudden sharp pain.
it feels like a bee sting (which would be esp bad for this fucker in anything i write, bc i headcanon him as being allergic). but there’s no stinger. no injury. nothing. neil is freaked out enough that he backs down.
max, on the other hand, is getting gentler signs. when she turns the radio dial in the camaro, it’s somehow always her mom’s favorite songs that come thru the speakers. when she goes to pull clothes out of her drawers in the morning, she discovers that the things she’d just shoved inside in wrinkled balls are perfectly folded, neat as a pin, exactly like how susan always folded. susan was always fond of cardinals and suddenly max is seeing cardinals, pretty red cardinals, in just abt erry tree and shrub.
neil wakes up one night to his wife’s voice whispering “boo” right in his ear. he throws the covers off and discovers ashes in the bed. he doesn’t smell susan’s shampoo or lotion anymore, he smells the kerosine he’d poured all over her body.
his wounds still won’t heal. whenever he looks in the mirror, he catches a glimpse of susan walking past behind him, peering at him from her peripheral. he whips around, heart hammering, but there’s never any tangible person there.
max is almost certain her mother is dead at this point. neil’s been so bizarrely nice to her lately. she never believed in ghosts but her experiences with the upside-down broadened her perception of reality. she doesn’t know how else to explain the songs, the cardinals, the folded clothes. the way that these days, whenever she does feel fear toward neil, it just fades away. her fear melts like popsicles in the sun, immediately replaced by the sensation of a warm, maternal hug, as if arms she can’t see are trying to reassure her she truly doesn’t need to be afraid of him anymore.
in fact, max feels so unafraid of neil and brave, that one night she calls him out on it. he’s grizzled and unshaven in his recliner, beer in hand. she steps in front of the television he’s vacantly fixated on and folds her arms across her chest.
“you killed my mom, didn’t you?”
quick as a flash, neil leaps to his feet. he brings his arm back like he’s going to strike her and susan’s ceramic pelican on the mantle explodes into shards. the lights flicker, the television program cuts to snow with a static roar. every other knickknack on the mantle rattles and framed photos tumble off the wall.
neil very wisely lowers his hand. he slumps, boneless. he doesn’t say a word. max sees the answer in his eyes. it’s the dead of night and she snatches the camaro keys off the hook, marching out of the house, slamming the door behind her. it’s the dead of night and she doesn’t care. she’s going to blow past every stop sign and pound on the chief’s door until he opens up. and fuck, i just realized if this is post s3 he’s supposed to be in russia. shit. i don’t watch this show, but i know abt russia bc i DID watch the clips of that demogorgon that i rly hope isn’t stuck in captivity!! okay, but let’s pretend that didn’t happen?
it’s an au?? i mean, errything i write is always technically an au anyway, bc when i write stuff susan has an actual personality and billy isn’t *completely* abhorrent. okay, so it’s an au and mr. hopper didn’t blow up and un-blow up in russia. he’s still here. so max drives to his house.
she pounds on the door so hard this guy snaps outta bed, thinking someone’s trying to bust it down. she tells him neil confessed to killing her mom. it isn’t true, exactly, but he didn’t have to. so it’s a helluva grim drive back to cherry lane, this time in the cop car.
but when they go inside, chief prepared to arrest neil, no need. neil’s hanging from the belt he strangled susan with, shirtless for the first time since that night, erry seemingly fresh furrow and bite mark on full display. below his dangling feet is a map, the area he burned susan’s corpse in circled in red marker. did he kill himself or did the ghost do it?
up to u, we soundlessly cut to credits without a concrete answer to that question.
horror movie #3: crossover special! stranger things meets the chilling adventures of sabrina. sequel to that fic i wrote where susan makes out with lilith, queen of hell, and lilith kills neil for her. sue officially joins the church of lilith. bc in this ‘verse the church of lilith actually happens after caos s2 instead of the nonsense that was s3 and the inconceivably godawful migraine-inducing shit-fest that was s4.
killing neil was lilith’s only freebee. susan isn’t a witch, she’s a mortal, so in order to reap the other rewards of worshipping the one and only mother of demons, she has to fornicate with the witches and participate in the sacrifices!!!
this is, uh, well. it’s p much a porno, dude, sorry. 😅
this is just an excuse for susan to have sex with lilith, zelda, marie, hilda, big witch orgies + susan. witches bathing in the blood of their sacrifices, susan so nervous and timid but unable to deny her desire. the witch’s dressing her in their gothic garb.
how does the rest of the fam get it on this?
max joins the church too. she has more age-appropriate conduct with sabrina and the weird sisters, and what have you. just smooches and over-the-clothes groping, and whatnot, even tho the weird sisters, at least, would be interested in going further if given the opportunity.
billy dies in starcourt again, so he gets revived in the cain pit! hilda is the one who goes to him after bc she’s been in the cain pit many a time (i am still BIG side-eyeing zelda for repeatedly murdering her sister since childhood). hilda understands how jarring it can be to come back. suddenly alive!billy is freaking tf out but she brings him inside the mortuary, wraps him up in a big blanket burrito and they have a talk. hilda explains that he’s going to be okay and rubs his back while he tentatively sips the hot chocolate she made.
after billy’s calmed down, she brings max and susan in. max and susan can’t do as much magic as the caos witches— they’re mortals, after all, it’s not in their nature —but they’ve gained some abilities thru being in the church, following the rituals, and being carnally involved with the immortal witches. max happily shows him some of her new magic tricks.
horror movie #4: another crossover with caos. heavily inspired by creepshow episode s2e1, model kid (which i already v blatantly referenced in the last axe snafu update and i’m not ashamed, bc it’s a good series i love v much).
billy picks max up from the byers’ place rly late one night. it’s dark and the weather is bad and okay, yeh, he might be a little high. and a little concussed. he pissed neil off pretty bad the other day and okay, actually he’s defo concussed bc he doesn’t even remember what he did wrong!
needless to say, they take a wrong turn somewhere. they end up in greendale. at first max is pissed. she yells at him a lot! yells so loud hilda can hear them thru the walls of dr. cerberus’s comic shop/diner. she goes outside to see what all the fuss is abt, hilda never rly ignores youth in need. we love hilda, she deserved so much better…i’m getting distracted, okay, back to the story.
hilda ushers them inside. max is like, “ooh, comics? horror junk and comics? nvm, i’m not mad anymore.” she pats billy’s arm and wanders away to go check stuff out! hilda makes billy sit down. caos canon established that she’s psychic, at least when she wants to be. she smells the weed but she also sees his life, his trauma. billy doesn’t remember what he did to piss neil off or the abuse that followed, but hilda sees it clear as day.
he’s rude and cranky w her when she probes a little too much for his liking. hilda gently but firmly reprimands him and gets him a milkshake on this house. then she goes to check on max. she steers max to a v particular section of the shop, the one that sells model kits. now, max isn’t *huge* into model kits BUT they are p neat and she enjoys them well enough. more so when the weather is nasty and she can’t go outside. or when she needs smth to do with her hands (a trait she shares w susan) to distract herself and ease some of the anxiety when she hears her brother being beaten or her mother being shouted at.
max is actually rly impressed by the array of models. vintage ones and newer ones. monsters, slashers, final girls, tiny accessories like knives and bloodied heads. but when she gets to the paint-your-own shelf, her jaw drops to the floor.
there’s one that looks just like neil. unpainted, plain gray vinyl, but undoubtedly her stepdad. the expression on the five inch figurine is one frozen in fear.
“i think that one’s calling to you,” hilda prompts her, with the softest smile.
max blinks away her bewilderment altho she still can’t speak. she turns to hilda and turns her empty pockets inside out. hilda just waves her hand. she tells her it’s on the house. that it wouldn’t be fair if she gave billy smth on the house, but not max.
speaking of billy, when he finishes his milkshake, he’s suddenly totally sober and healed!! no more high buzzing in his blood. no more pounding headache or concussion fogging his mind. he doesn’t feel his bruises anymore, rolls his sleeve up, and realizes they simply aren’t there anymore. like they dissolved off his skin.
albeit it’s muttered under his breath, but billy does thank hilda. then he and max are on their way. max shows him the suspiciously familiar figurine in the box. this night cannot get weirder.
max knows what to do with the model kit. she does. she isn’t sure how she knows, but she does. she grapples with it for a long time. neil’s the closest thing she has to a dad these days. and things aren’t bad all the time, ofc.
sometimes neil gives max a ride when mom and billy aren’t available. sometimes he brings her ice cream entirely unprompted. neil’s the one who picks max up off the sidewalk when she wipes out super bad on her skateboard, carries her inside and then later to the car when her cut doesn’t stop bleeding and she ends up needing stitches.
but most of the time he sucks. she can’t rly be herself around him. he's indifferent to her interest at best, scornful at worst. he would hate all her friends. he scares the shit out of her when he’s angry. he doesn’t have a problem belittling her mother in front of her, tearing susan to shreds and making her out like she’s lower than dirt, the most worthless person on the planet. doesn’t have a problem beating billy in front of her or glaring at her with the promise that she’ll be next if she dares to voice her dissent.
max doesn’t always want to do what she knows she’s meant to do with the model. bc she's kind at heart and bc on the good days, she genuinely does have mixed feelings toward neil. never enough to hope he'll be better, he's proven he won't...but maybe enough to hope he won't get worse, either.
then comes the night neil breaks ribs. bad, like we’re talking, a-sharp-spear-of-broken-rib-punctures-billy’s-lung-and-he’s-coughing-up-blood-bad. that’s a trip to the emergency room. in the days that follow, at her next dnd meeting w the party, max places the fully and attentively painted model of her stepdad on the table. normally her pals would protest her derailing the intended game, but they can sense it, yk, that smth is different.
max takes over as dungeon master to the protest of no one, all other mouths sealed as if bewitched and spellbound. she narrators a scene where the demogorgon devours neil and uses the demogorgon piece and the model for demonstration.
when max returns home, neil is strewn across the house in gory chunks and torn wallpaper curls around massive claw marks.
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batsysims · 6 years
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didnt wanna do an actual Simself Edit™ so have an arrested development reference
anyways
i was tagged by @0cherub & i tag any1 who hasnt done this yet bc who doesnt like answering 125 questions abt themselves oh also @flavortowne im forcing you to do this sry
get to know me tag
1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? its batsy dont worry abt it
2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? its batsy dont worry abt it
3. BIRTHDAY? september 15
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES?  what?? are books
5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? ye both
6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? ummmm idk lmfao i havent “read” a “book”” in like 5 years 
7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? 35 & 36 on sirius are like basically the exact same station but that doesnt mean i dont constantly alternate between the two whenever im near a radio
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? pink is a v trustworthy flavor
9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? *owen wilson voice* wrow
10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? what kinda question is this wt f ive currently reobsessed myself w marina and the diamonds so honestly any of her discography
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? idk any words :^/ sry
12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? wheels on the bus im exhausted
13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? man in the high castle. man in the high castle. man in the high ca
14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? clerks al;dksfjf
15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? almost exclusively sims and fallout but every once in a while some indie game i find on steam so. yea
16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? never doing anything in my life and having nothing 2 look forward to!! yay
17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? probably my resiliency, maybe?? idk
18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my habit of allowing bad things to happen to me lol
19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? cats but im sorta kinda indifferent 2 both i think i might 1 of the 5 ppl on earth who dont like having pets
20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? summer and fall
21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? yea
22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? not being lazy lmfao
23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? @flavortowne eye emoji
24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? blue
25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? its natural brown but im thinkn abt going either red or blonde again
26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? like 3 ppl irl and everyone on discord u guys legit
27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my person and @flavortowne eye emoji
28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? tom hardy. what is his end goal
29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? tbh going 2 basic lmfao im!! lame
30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? as of right now,, spiderverse lol
31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? teletubbies was fckn legit and so was old school spongebob
32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? my person
33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? im not superstitious,,, but i am a little stitious
34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? i cant deal w fishing poles idk
35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? in front babey
36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? sims or stitching play foods 4 the kid to use on her play kitchen
37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? stop asking book questions
38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? spiderverse yeye
39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? piano & i try 2 pretend i know what im doing w a ukulele
40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? stingrays :^)
41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? legit all my mutuals
42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? i had an oc that could read ppls memories like a scrapbook if he touched them and i always honestly thought that was. cool
43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in my house!! the door b locked bitch!!!!
44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? toddler being an idiot toddler
45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY?  its not really,, a sport,, but i bike
46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? cream soda in those glass bottles is top tier non-alcoholic beverage
47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? i wrote a letter 2 my person telling him he was an idiot and by the time it was mailed 2 his house i was already living there lol
48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? nah
49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? either ppl blowing vape in my face or holding something so close to my face i cant see i just go ballistic
50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? nope unless u count a sesame street liveshow like 10 years ago
51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? nope!
52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a cop lmfao
53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? this is horrible but the setting of new vegas i just feel like id be at home there, w the radiation and constant danger and dehydration
54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? the kid
55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? only when im looking in the mirror adlkfj start thinkn abt a different face showing up instead of mine idk
56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? yea
57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? skipped a whole year adlfkj
58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? this is basic but i miss the tri-state area
59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? this is basic but i miss nj
60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? yea :^/ a dog, a cat, and uhhhh 14 fish
61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? night owl but honestly im just always tired
62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsettttt
63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? i do
64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? headphones. they just work
65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? nah but i need em
66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? i listen to everything tbh
67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? michael cera
68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? i used to read them religiously but not so much any more. i am reading the TAZ graphic novel tho
69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? having to repeat myself 20 times. or being an idiot when i wanna start a new hobby
70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? idk how to read
71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? honestly i had a blast in econ and my law enforcement class
72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? a bro, another sibling, and a half-bro
73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? food lmfao
74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? every time i measure myself im 5′2″ but the government insists that i am 5′3″ so w/e
75. CAN YOU COOK? yeap
76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? alcohol, bike riding, wearing stupid makeup
77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? ppl holding me back, bird box, when my nail breaks before i can file it so its all oglee
78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? uh idk?? i dont have,, many,,,, friends
79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? bi
80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? sc :’^(
81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my brother
82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 2 nights ago the kid pistol whipped me in the chin w her phone and it just hurt so bad it legit made me lose it
83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? ok this is dumb as shit the kid is obsessed w Blippi and i have a mom crush on him afdslfkjs
84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? ye
85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? i am currently obsessed w L.O.L. Surprise! Pop but all in all probs Pocket Camp
86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? bad as parents but theyre fine now that im an adult and they have a grandkid they can like
87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? i dont like a majority of them lmfao but idk maybe uh?? irish
88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? rly wanna go to nevada but im moving to the mojave soon anyways so
89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 15
90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? nope
91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? i was raised christian but i dont rly give a shit abt any of that
92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? outer space my dood the ocean is dumb and scary
93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? im jus livin my life
94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? i mean. im lactose intolerant but thats abt it
95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? nope
96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? no
97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? when im wrong abt something
98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest ig bad choices
99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? i dont think i was ever given advice, ever. maybe thats why im like this
100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? idk i try not 2 lie unless its like. an obvious exaggeration for the lols
101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? wtf idk ok i just did one of those quizzes & im a slytherin?? what does that mean
102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? yeah
103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? more of an introvert but im ok w going out there if i gotta
104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? i keep one for the kid but thats abt it
105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? nah. unless it was something stupid like burning food like im not gonna ban u from the kitchen
106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? if theres an id i guess mail it 2 the address on there?? idk ive never just. found a wallet. i think this happens a lot less than all the hypotheticals make it out to be
107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? if theyre dedicated to it. i dont think ppl can just do it over night and i dont think its ever a 100% change
108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? dont touch me
109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Yep
110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? 2 in both ears but thats it
111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? spidr...mna
112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? no :^( once im cleared for them tho deffo
113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? i hate that this is the answer but enlisting adlfkjs
114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yeah ig??
115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? glasses
116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? 2 late
117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? we all b stupit
118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? idk?? i get embarrassed but also get over it quick so like. idk
119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? yea
120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black & red
121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? mhm
122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? i was on nickelodeon back when they had those cuts to the Live Studio Audience™
123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 21
124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”
125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savory i almost never eat anything sweet
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squid-inspiration · 7 years
Note
Ooh, question 15 please, for "Thomas Hamilton: A Life" and/or "The Art of Asymmetry". I'm thinking in particular of things you learned in terms of writing, since they both seem like they must have been (still is, for THAL) challenging projects, but of course I'd definitely be interested in other things, too!
15: What did you learn from writing this fic?
The Art of Asymmetry
I think it’s the point at which I found my “Black Sails voice”. Fascination & Imitation work well enough imo, and they have passages and phrases that I love a lot, but I feel like this is where I started rly consciously having a “flavour” for each narrative. There’s word choices and rhythms I gravitate to or avoid for each project, and most of it is gut feeling, but I always have something v v specific in mind that I shape the language around. I’d seen other fics do rly nicely w pseudo-period-accurate English (bc none of us write as they’d actually speak/write in an early 18th century narrative, and neither does Black Sails in canon) and was afraid I’d never manage to sound so pleasant and sophisticated, and it turned out people rly enjoyed the style I ended with, so that was reassuring. Haven’t written anything that elegant since, I think, maybe barring whalebone, rigged to stem the floods. (But that one is sparkling & dripping & in flux, whereas Asymmetry is black lace and seed pearls and creamy paper and burgundy chiffon & velvet.)
Also some ruthless editing, bc it was going to be multi-POV and it became more powerful once it was only Miranda’s. Sadly cost me one specific paragraph I’m still not quite over, bc that was the only bit I couldn’t tell from Miranda’s POV; from the scene when Thomas walks in on Miranda drawing James, which was originally written from James’ perspective, and Miranda can’t quite see into his head. So I’m still mourning a metaphor or two that rly captures what, to me, is an integral part of the modeling state of mind, that meditative focus you fall into.
Oh and I worked through a lot of my issues w most artist/model AUs. I’m a life-drawing model myself, and I just can’t read 99% of those fics anymore, bc there’s a lot of little things that just irk me. (I’m sure I’ve written stuff that irks others too! Everyone has That Thing They Care V Much About. This happens to be mine.)
Thomas Hamilton: A Life.
So many things??? 
A vital one was to stop giving a fuck what others want from a fic and just focus on what I want. Sometimes feel insecure bc I think a lot of ppl prob aren’t attracted to OC ships, but I’m v decisive in the story I want to tell, and that story needs contrast. If I don’t show Thomas’ early relationships and what they taught him and what they offered/lacked, the life-changing impact of Miranda&James entering his life is less visceral. It could still work ofc, but I v deliberately set each of Thomas’ boyfriends up to represent aspects of his relationship w love, sex, shame, and identity, and they all tie thematically into James and Miranda and the rest of his life. It’s not the most popular fic out there in terms of clicks/kudos, but it’s exactly (well, as close as I can manage) the story I want to tell, and that’s a good feeling. I’m not compromising and I’m enjoying every second. (I still get insecure abt needing validation lol. But the story itself is not shaped by what I think others would rather read.)
Definitely the most ambitious & complex fic I’ve done. Generally my fics are p straight-forward in terms of plot, and this one is not super-plotty, but I greatly enjoy constructing thematic set-ups & pay-offs, it’s so rewarding. There’s even a little twist later on??? And I’m curious to see if anyone will pick up on the set-up lol. Nothing life-changing, but I’m having fun.
I’m also pushing harder and canning stuff more ruthlessly than I ever have for a fic. I think I’ve scrapped ~15k so far? Bc I finished the fic months ago, took a breather and realised that the last 20k just aren’t thematically cohesive with the characterisation of Thomas I’ve set up. And I’m still working on that, I’m still continuously tossing out stuff bc I feel like, “this fic is about sticking fingers in wounds & picking at scabs, this feels too comfortable” and comfortable is what it shouldn’t be. (So it should be no surprise I’m essentially rewriting the last 20k for the third time or so, and adding more chapters and just. This fic just won’t let me fucking rest.)
Ask me about my fics!
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elvesofnoldor · 8 years
Text
So i legit reblogged 12 pages of star wars (well mostly tfa and rogue one) content on my blog in the last two weeks or so, while I have reblogged only 17 pages in an entire year lol--most of them happened within 3 months around the time tfa came out. I didn’t even have ANY star wars content before (epi 7) tfa’s trailer came out (that was 2015, two years ago). 
Even though by comparison, I got tens and thousands of spn content on my blog, there is still a bit more sw posts on my blog than usual, obviously. It does seem like ppl r unfollowing me because of that (not complaining, just observing lol). I didn’t count the number but I’ve got to lost at least 100 followers in the last 1-2 weeks, and didn’t gain nearly enough to hide this drop. 
I notice that all the mutuals I’ve been following r slowly hopping off the spn boat , or becoming inactive--kind of like me for months now (my” last 3 days” note counts went below 100 from 2k since the beginning of 2016, and it only went back to 1k couple of days ago bc i have been way more active than usual). So since I haven’t been a little shit lately--actually i barely talk anymore, I can only deduce that the recent drop is mainly caused by 
A. ppl deleting their blogs, ditching spn altogether and thinking i reblog too much spn for them, and 
B. people feeling that I don’t reblog nearly enough spn content for them. 
Here’s the thing, man, I don’t like losing followers lol, esp since I have gained thousands of them over the past 3 years, most of them came from the first 2 years. i know me losing followers right now is mainly caused by me having trouble figuring this blog out atm, but um, the recent dip tells me that i gotta figure my blog out soon lol. I changed my mobile blog pic--it’s a fanart of Charlie (beloved canon lesbian character in supernatural), wearing a jacket (A Gay Thing), with “Star Wars” written in Chinese on her shirt. Keywords: wlw, gay aesthetic, supernatural, star wars, Chinese, and I think these keywords really sum up my blog and esp the current state of my blog and who i am as a person kinda nicely. Lmao. I also changed my update bar and my about pages a little bit, and I’m currently trying to make a new tags page to better reflect current state of my blog, and um, I don’t actually want my content to be all over the place. 
Now, in regards to lack of spn content, I can technically follow more spn blogs to have more spn content on my dash, but um, frankly I dont wanna lol. The amount of spn I have on my blog on a regular basis is the maximum I can allow. Maybe I will generate some spn related content soon....idk....when the season comes back i guess. I have a few gifs and graphic ideas that I need to do anyways. Obviously I can’t and don’t want to have too much spn content on my blog anyways, so, lol. The other other thing is, I’m not sure i’m gonna be in the star wars fandom yet, as matter of fact, I have been trying to find a new fandom to be in since the beginning of 2016 and have failed to do that this whole time. Star Wars series is probably the closest thing to a new fandom to me--Steven Universe being the 2nd closest lol. I’ve got a new ship to be invested in (yet another non-canon gay ship smh), but most importantly a new character to be invested in (not a female character or--i hate to admit it--canonically lgbt, but he’s at least a character of color). However, I know i’m definitely not in the sw fandom right now since I haven’t even generated ANY sw related content (I HAVE IDEAS THOUGH). i just couldn’t stfu in the tags, and I don’t know any sw bloggers either. Also, I really need to re-watch original series and prequels and extended universe content (like the tv series that’s going on right now), and to get myself familiar with all these and maybe fall in love with these, before I can actually be in the fandom ok. Yet I’m more interested in reading the Poe Dameron comic right now than re-watching the prequels and original series again, since I’m more invested in SW franchise’s future, than...its past. 
i’ve never actually jump dramatically from fandoms to fandom before, it’s always been supernatural for me, so I have no idea what to do to actually feel free to put content I’m passionate about on my blog but doesn’t lose too much followers at the same time. (I tried my hardest not to spam people with star wars content by liking these posts first and storing them in my likes as long as possible, and it’s a really tiring process to look for posts in my likes ALL THE TIME, ok, lol, I don’t wanna do that forever ok!! lol!!) As a wlw person of color who’s less and less interested in the spn’s general vibe of...idk....White Americana (with its US centric narrative, sea of white American faces and imagery etc), and more and more disappointed with its continuous and seemingly permanent lack of poc and lgbt characters, I’m losing hope and interest in this show and its characters and even my OTP.  Idk what to do with my blog bc of my increased loss of interest in spn tbh, maybe I should just make a star war sideblog? Last time I made a sideblog, I neglect it for 6 months and I’m still neglecting it lol. So starting anew on tumblr doesnt seem to be what i’m good at. At this point, i’m rly hoping to weed out the ones that switched out of spn fandom completely and the spn bloggers that are unsatisfied with the amount of spn content on my blog, while getting more multifandom blogs to follow me by um...generating multifandom content. Maybe instead of refreshing my dash over and over again, I should just use my drawing pad again, or use my photoshop to make a graphic or edit again, or write a fic make some headcanons, or not procrastinate and finalize my grad school applications and prepare for the next semester. 
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skiasurveys · 8 years
Text
I don’t feel like sleeping
What are the initials of the last person you made out with? CIT 
If you found out you were pregnant, who would be the first person to know? Well probably the father for sure, and then my mom and my best friend. 
How old were you when you had your first kiss? 18 years old. Late bloomer lol
Is it awkward when you run into your ex? no, but i havent ran into him actually. he moved away :)
Are you afraid of falling in love? No..i only hate the “restarting” thing when you have to get reclose with someone. But Im already in love 
Does it bother you when people smoke around you? If theyre doing it in my face, yeah.
Your ex is walking next to you, with their new partner, what do you do? Smile probably say Hi, and then walk away. I wouldn’t ignore him because it would jsut make it awkward.
Are there things in your life that you’ll never be able to get over? Probably my assualt and my best friend leaving me
Who was the last person to kiss your cheek? Connor 
What country are you from? Canada 
What’s the second language of your original country? French
Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now? Connor 
Is there anything you are trying to teach yourself? Editing
Was your last kiss drunk or sober? sober i believe
Do you remember who you liked in grade eight? Cole. Oh god. He turned into a drug dealer
Do you tend to fall for the same type of person over and over? eh, kinda. I usually just date people who have the same interest as me, but all my exes have been extremely different.
Were you intoxicated the last time you threw up? I think so..
Has anyone told you they would never leave and left? Yeah my ex best friend. we had a horrible fight, didn’t talk for 3 months, got to beign friends again and she said she would talk to me more about stuff and then she left. oh well.
How much effort would it take for someone to become close to you? Not a lot. Just show you care i guess. 
What was the first thing you said when you woke up today? “damn i woke before my alarm clock”
Who is your most recent ex? Tanner but he was short term. like a month, but we were really close. Dylan would be th second recent
Do you think the last person you kissed is a player? No 
Has anyone of the opposite sex hurt you emotionally? Yeah, actually. 
Are your eyes the same color as your moms or dads? my dads.
Where is the last person you kissed? at his place. either sleeping or gaming.
Has the person you last kissed took their shirt off in front of you? yeah duhh
Single, or taken? Taken.
Have you ever broken anything because you were mad? Kinda.
Have you ever kissed someone in front of your parents? not really. 
Person you last sent a text to? Sasha 
Is it possible to be JUST friends with someone you wanna be with? Yeah you can. Its called being an adult. 
Is there anyone you don’t wanna lose? yep
Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? Nope.
Can money buy happiness? No, but it can buy you things that make you happy and feel secure/safe.
Ever been so drunk someone else had to carry you? No
How many people have you kissed who’s name started with an M? none
Had sex in a movie theater? how the fuck
Have you told anybody you loved them today and meant it? Not today
Would you change your eye color to blue? No i hate blue
Are you a heart breaker? No. I have hurt people in the past. But i don’t go out of my way to hurt them.
Who was the last person who left your life and hurt you? Morgan. we were best friends, really close and he just was turning into a complete cunt. especially when he started to date his new GF. 
Has anybody ever told you that you’re too young to be in love? Yeah
What was the last thing you looked up on Google? a image
Do you have a lighter on you? yeah.
Do you “blow kisses” often? no
Weirdest rumor you’ve heard about yourself? That I was engaged, but thats it.
Ever kissed a smoker? weed smoker
Have you ever painted each toe/finger nail a different color? no
Do you have any inside jokes with your parents? not rly
Honestly - have you ever written something on a bathroom stall? yeah
Do you need to “break up” with a friend? 
no
What is your natural hair color?
Brown.
Are you the oldest, middle, youngest, or an only child? Oldest
What is the longest relationship you’ve been in? The one im currently in. 9 months.
Have you ever felt pressured to do something you weren’t ready for? yeah.
What does your last outgoing text say? “watch her not see it”
Have you ever been hit on the head with a brick, rock, wooden block or bat? no
How often do you wear skirts? I used to wear them a lot.but not so much anymore. I wear them in the summer 
Have you ever seen a fat girl wearing really tight leggings? yeah
Have you ever worn skinny jeans that were yellow, purple, blue or pink? yeah, blue like bright blue. Back when I was 12. Grossss.
Who was the last person that you talked with online? sasha
Who was the last friend you hung out with? Kyra
Is there someone you want to fight? ehhhh.
Are you married? No.
Are you a high school drop out? No. I’m in college.
Do you look like anyone famous? no
Do you have a criminal record? No.
Have you ever been hit on by somebody 10 years older than you? try 20
Have you ever gone to a strip club? no and never will
What would you look like with an afro? i dont wanna think of that
Who’s the last person to really piss you off? connor haha
When’s the last time you did something you knew was wrong? I dunno.
What’s your relationship with the person you last texted? best friendssss
Do you think that you’re a good person? im a bad bad bad bad person.
What was on your mind mostly today? Just some personal things, connor, and my friends
Have you held hands with anyone today? No.
Is a best friend/boyfriend/girlfriend or ex pissing you off at the moment? my boyfriend was but not overly. Just annoyed.
Are you in a good mood right now? sore.
Last person you told a secret to? kaylie i think
Who was the first person you talked to today? sasha maybe
Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? No were dating
Is there something right now that has you worried? A bit, I guess.
Ever been on a golf cart? No.
Have you ever slapped someone in the face? Not really.
Last person you took a nap with? Connor
Are you embarrassed by anything you have in your bedroom? yeah...
Does seeing your mother cry automatically make you feel sad as well? yes
What is one stereotype associated with your race that is actually true? that we think mustard is spicy.
What color shirt are you wearing? black
The last person you kissed needs you at 3 AM, would you help them? obviously 
Has anyone ever told you they want to spend the rest of their life with you? yeah
Do you care if people hate you for no reason? I do, i need a reason or it will bug me.
Have you ever given up on someone, but then went back to them later? Kinda.  when connor and i first dated back in 2015 for like 9 days (LMAO) and then we stopped talking for 2 weeks and then we were hanging out afain for a week and then eventually I just stopped and I thought we would never talk again, and then 4 months later we were hangingout and since then we had been dating lolol
Do you have a lot on your mind at the moment? YEA
Do you do something illegal on a regular basis? no
Did you and your mom ever have a big fight that caused you to move out? no
What grade is the last person you texted in? no grade
Do you think someone likes the same person you like? If they do they better step the fuck down cus hes mine.
Do you think you’re wasting your time on the person you like? no
Do you think its cute when someone kisses your forehead? yea
Is your last ex currently in a relationship? I dont think so
Do you think more about the past, present, or future? future and past
Ever liked someone whose name started with a B? Brad when  i was 10
The person that you miss right now, what does their first name start with? J
Do you think true love ever really dies? it can die.
Do you think the last person you kissed has feelings for you? Yes.
Have you ever been punched in the face? No.
Did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl? yeah, i liked this one guy in senior year and it was  a waste, we never mounted to anything and we still talk but we both were in love with eachother but he was just too pussy to date. 
Have you ever been asked out by someone you didn’t want to be with? many times.. but the same guy
Have you ever kissed the last person you sent a text message to? no.
Ever get hurt by someone who promised they wouldn’t? yeah
Are you good at hiding your feelings? yeah 
Is there someone you would enjoy hitting right now? Probably.
Do you plan on ruining someones life right now? No lmao
Are you a good liar? No.
What does your current Facebook status mean? I saw a post that said suicide is just angels who want to go home and so i made a post about how suicide isnt to be romanticized 
Could you go a month without cursing? I could but it would be hard.
Think a lot before you fall asleep?
yea
Do you care deeply about others? Many others, yes.
Would you rather have your parents catch you having sex or smoking weed? Smoking weed......
Do you like it when people call you babe? i do when my bf does 
Have you ever kissed someone who was over 21? yeah 
How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? 27 
Would you pay someone to kill the person who hurt you a lot? No. Id pay someone to beat the shit outta him tho
Have you ever gone out of your way to make someone happy? Yes.
You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? kiss him probs
Will you have sex tonight? tomorrow.
Are you bi-sexual? No. I find girls cute but im not attracted. 
How many times have you gotten into a argument with the last person you kissed? we have only had like many 2 fights. we dont argue. we bicker sometimes but thats it.
Has anyone lied to you today? i dont know
Have you recently lost someone that means everything to you? not recently 
Would you forgive a friend for telling your biggest secret? depends who they told....
Would you ever get a tattoo with someone’s name on it? no unless it was my dads name because he died.
Would you ever get your nipples pierced? no
Have you ever thrown a shoe at someone? yeaaa
Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever? it needs to change.
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