#most commonly im sent to either my ao3 stats page or whatever my most recent google search was | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

orcelito · 2 years

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Smth I sometimes do that always makes me laugh. When I have little bits of free time, I'll often spend them rereading over my current WIP chapter for minor edits & maybe doing a bit of writing if I can get into it enough. It's on my docs app, but it's essentially reading fic, so I'll sometimes switch apps for whatever reason, then to try to go back to reading... I'll click on my internet browser, rather than the docs app, bc that is the Place To Read Fics in my brain

Then I stare at a page that is NOT what I was just looking and. And I Remember.

#speculation nation #most commonly im sent to either my ao3 stats page or whatever my most recent google search was #my default page i sit on with my browser is my stats page. bc i like to look at it regularly #numbers going up makes the brain go brrrr #during long periods between chapters the kudos and especially comments dont go up much (tho when they do now That is a rush)#but i have a fairly steady stream of hits for discacc even when i havent posted in a while #i like watching them go up. remembering that my fic exists to people even if theyre not talking about it.#Engagement is my number 1 encouragement and i have to convince my brain that ppl still like my work somehow #youd think id be past this by now. but nope lol #i have my way of coping a bit better so im not throwing myself recklessly into writing chapter after chapter #that pursuit of recognition is what got my 70k words in 3 weeks at the start of discacc.#which was pretty great! it certainly caught a good amount of attention from readers lol #but it was Noooot healthy or sustainable for me.#it was also a byproduct of taking that semester off. no way i could do that now.#i am Better at managing the manic energy that just wants Attention. but. it is still there lol #UNRELATED to the original point of the post. aside from the talking about my fic.#anyways hi guys i exist. im working on it.#discacc shit #relevant enough i guess

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