#morning crew living up to their name and making me wake up at fucking 8 in the morning to catch streams

[cellgatinbo]

hey pac feel free to take your time, talk to chat as long as you want, check out reddit, whatever, just give me a damn minute to prepare myself for whatever the fuck will happen today ☺️

[hisprophetsagain]

1, 3, 8, 12, & 14

1) Name a film that haunts you? i'm going to cheat and give you three! -poltergeist - originally rated R, it got bumped down to PG (spielberg basically forced the mpaa to add PG-13 between this and indiana jones lol) but it's RIDICULOUS how scary this movie is (bonus: poltergeist 3 - hey, how about fuck mirrors) -the poughkeepsie tapes - not QUITE as fucked up as i remembered it being but some of the imagery here is just wildly haunting and discomfiting -megan is missing - you do NOT want to watch this movie. a found footage that feels even grosser than something like the last house on the left. truly wretched

3) What places do you feel most drawn to? i've always really wanted to live in new england! as i get older and maybe eventually tire of the snow and ice i think i'm going to find myself moving to arizona. there's something about the american southwest that's really special and weird (see movies like paris, texas; into the wild; easy rider)

8) Are there any genres of music or film that feel like home or create a sense of nostalgia for you? SO much. going back to into the wild, you HAVE to listen to the soundtrack by eddie vedder. hot hot heat's elevator is still a super comforting record for me, modest mouse's first four lps are phenomenal, and i always love some good 60s folk protest music. similarly, i love 2000s/2010s dramas about people who feel lost or out of touch. yeah, they're sad but they but they always helped me figure out how i feel about things. andrew haigh's weekend, blue valentine, little miss sunshine, again into the wild. those really captured a certain post-9/11 american consciousness

12) What role in a cast or crew appeals to you the most? i know there's some pushback on director focus but i LOVE to see a director's voice come across in a movie. especially when the director also wrote the picture, it's fun to encounter a scene or dialog and think "oh, yeah, of course you put that in here you nerd" lol. like obviously movies are HUGE projects that take tons of folks but generally a director (in the kinds of movies i like) gets to pick who they're working with so they choose a team that they gel with and who can have a shared vision. i'm also always interested to see how the director and cinematographer work together (Paweł Pawlikowski/Łukasz Żal now kiss). also - love to see brad pitt in a movie :p

14) What does the perfect day look like? ooo, so if i get to choose EVERYTHING, it's a crisp autumn day, the trees have changed, it's dewy out and the leaves are crunchy. waking up to a nice morning cuddle, then getting up and groggily walking either to a diner or to grab coffee and doughnuts, probably doing the day's crossword while we're waiting for our food. i think going out to the record store and movie store would be next, poke around, pick up a couple of things, chat with the clerks for a bit. because breakfast would've been at like 6:30 or 7 lol lunch, again either a diner or making something yummy at home. i think a chill afternoon or reading and listening to records, then the evening would either be a movie date night and pizza or going out to a bar with friends. i miss nights where i'd get to go meet friends at like 9 and hang out like our local spot and get kinda shitty without worrying about the next day! college station, tx had (?) a really cool bar scene and on my ideal day i get to imagine living someplace with something similar :p

[wefoundloveunderthelight]

Mystery Of Pixie Hollow by GleefullyCaptainSwan - Sneak Peek

Chapter 3/11

Read on AO3: | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Or on FF

Stacy's Tortured Crew: @teamhook @kmomof4 @stahlop @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @itsfabianadocarmo @mariakov81 @qualitycoffeethings @zaharadessert @jrob64 @jonesfandomfanatic @natascha-ronin @tiganasummertree @xarandomdreamx @therooksshiningknight @batana54 @superchocovian @onceratheart18 @ultraluckycatnd @snowbellewells @karlyfr13s @the-darkdragonfly @xsajx @deckerstarblanche @jonesfandomfanatic @winterbaby89

Chapter 3: Story Time

“I asked who you are, and you have yet to give me a name.” He growled again in her ear.

“My name’s Emma Swan. I just want to talk to you about your daughter.”

“What do you know about my daughter?”

“I know she went missing just like my son, Henry.” She felt his entire body flinch. “Please, right jacket pocket, there’s a picture of him. I just want to talk.”

She felt him dig into her jacket, pulling the photo free and stepping away from her. He stared at the picture, a frown slipping on his stubbled face. “How old is he?”

“He’s six. He went missing on his birthday a few days ago.”

He was waving the knife around, tucking it under his chin as he talked to himself. “It’s the appropriate age range…makes sense…hmm...few days ago…where were they…went North…” He stopped moving and stared at her. “Storybrooke, not again...”

“I’m sorry?”

“They were in Storybrooke last weekend, correct? The carnival.”

“That’s right, how did you know that?”

“I track their movements, keep an eye on where they go, look up any missing person reports after they leave.” He stepped into the boat, gesturing for her to join him. Emma stood nervously on the pier as he disappeared into the belly of the boat. She looked around at the empty pier. If she went missing now, no one would have any idea where she was.

Shit.

He poked his head up through the stairwell. “Are you coming or not, lass?”

She sighed, stepping onto the boat, and following him cautiously down the stairs. When she got to the bottom she gasped. In every direction she could see there were photos on the wall with string connecting them. It was like an art project had exploded in the small area, except it wasn’t art, it was some low-tech stalking shit if she ever saw it.

She knew she should turn around and get the hell of this man’s boat, but curiosity was eating at her. What did he know? Why was he so obsessed with the people on the walls?

“This is where I started doing my research, Alice, she went missing five years ago. We found Pixie Hollow just walking through the neighborhood and Alice loves fairytales, so she just had to go.” His voice trailed off sadly, as if he didn’t even remember she was in the room and then suddenly he spun around on his heels. “This one went missing shortly after, it’s harder for me to get information on anyone that disappeared before Alice, I tried, but my research skills aren’t that great. I hate computers, Alice always did everything…” He trailed off as he turned around again.

“You can see that they all fit the age range, around 5 to 8 years old usually.”

“You’ve been collecting all of this information for 5 years?” She finally spoke.

“I’ve had to be resourceful; the cops are useless.”

“Tell me about it.” She said with a snort.

He turned around and stared at her. “Where did he go missing at?”

“I told you, Storybrooke.”

“No, what attraction?”

“It was a mirror maze, you know, filled with mirrors, can’t find your way out.”

“Mirrors…that’s a new one. Alice, she went missing from the Jolly Roger Adventure ride, she got in the cart, she was only in for a few minutes, but when it came out the other side, she was no longer there. Vanished.”

“I don’t remember that ride being there.”

“I’m sure they change them out to avoid suspicion, just like the name. When we went, it was called Neverland Adventure Park. I believe they go by Pixie Hollow now.”

“How do you know it’s the same park?”

“You have to follow the money, love.” He said with a smirk. “And this one.” He turned toward the board on his wall. “She’s always with them.”

“Who’s that?” She stepped closer to the photo of a woman with short hair, wild eyes.

“That’s Tink. If the park opens near you, she’s sure to be found nearby.”

“Wait, like Tinkerbell?” She laughed.

“The one and only.”

“This is ridiculous. Next you’re going to tell me Peter Pan owns the place, and all his lost boys operate the rides.”

“Well done. You’re quite perceptive love, there doesn’t seem to be any reason to need to tell you.”

Her mouth dropped. “You’re insane.”

“Ouch, you wound a man, I can assure you I have my wits about me.”

She turned to leave. “I just want to find my kid, I’m not here to play pretend with a man who believes in fairytales.” He reached out and grabbed her by the wrist.

“I can assure you love; this is no fairytale; this is the stuff nightmares are made of. Pan is dangerous, and if he has your boy, you best start believing in him.”

She shook her head and pulled her hand away from him, turning to leave before something caught her eye near the stairs. She stepped closer to the photo. “I know this idiot.”

She felt him hover behind her, his breath at her neck. “That’s Felix. Real jackass that one.”

“He’s the assistant manager at Pixie Hollow.” The idiot who told her that Henry must have run away. He was there. No. Emma closed her eyes. This was insane. “I have to leave.”

“This isn’t some fantasy I’ve made up, Swan. It’s all real.” He called after her, letting her run up the stairs and away from the boat. “It’s all real.” She heard him shout as her feet hit the pier and she hurried back to her car, slamming the door shut behind her.

She tried to slow her breathing, the thought that perhaps what she had witnessed was just an elaborate nightmare and soon she would wake up in her bed and Henry would come bounding into her room and everything would be alright but as she drove home that night, thoughts of what she witnessed in that boat, she knew that no matter how crazy he seemed, the man was just desperate to find his kid.

Henry had only been missing for a few days, Killian’s daughter had been gone for 5 years. She wasn’t sure how crazy she would look if she hadn’t found Henry after that long of a time.

She stopped at a station when she was halfway to home, she filled up the bug and bought some snacks to eat on her way. She was starving and realized that she had skipped eating since she left her home that morning. As she stepped into the light, leaving the gas station behind her, she recognized a black car that she swore she saw parked outside Ashley’s house.

The sunlight gleamed across the front window for a moment and Emma walked casually to her car, she opened her door and sat in the front seat. Glancing over at the black car she saw movement in the front seat. She pulled out of the gas station, turning onto the road as she watched the black car behind her do the same.

Whoever this asshole was, they were definitely following her.

Emma drove a few miles until she spotted a convenience store on her left, turning quickly she dashed into the parking lot and parked her car. The black car squealed to turn into the lot, parking a distance away from her. Emma watched it in her rearview mirror and then swung her car open, grabbing the tire iron next to her on the seat.

She marched toward the car, gripping the tire iron in her hand. As soon as she got close to the vehicle, the door opened, and Officer Nolan stepped out of the car with his hands in front of him. “Hello Emma.”

“Are you fucking following me?” She yelled as she lowered the tire iron.

The passenger door opened, and Officer Locksley stepped out, his hand firmly on his hip where she knew his gun sat.

“We weren’t following you…” He said and Emma rolled her eyes.

“Are you kidding me? I spotted you miles ago, are you really going to try and convince me that we all just really had a hankering for some snacks miles away from town?”

“Well, we weren’t following you earlier, we just…” Officer Locksley started before his partner interrupted.

“We were following Killian, so imagine our surprise when you showed up.”

“Jones? Why are you following him? He’s just some nut on a boat.”

“You need to let us do our job, stay away from Killian Jones.”

“Why, what aren’t you telling me?”

“Look, I can’t get into specifics with you. I get it, you’re desperate.” Officer Nolan began and Emma found herself wanting to toss the tire iron at him. He flinched and held up his hand. “I’m sorry your kid hasn’t come home, but this isn’t the way to find him. Jones isn’t all there.” He said pointing to his head. “His daughter’s been gone for a long time now; we’ve been keeping tabs on him.”

“Why? I’m pretty sure you’re outside your jurisdiction.” She said with a laugh. “Why are you so obsessed with the guy.”

“Alice went missing in Storybrooke five years ago. He moved out here after a while, but we’ve always kept tabs on him. He was in and out of shelters with that little girl. Working as a fisherman with men he never should have trusted around his daughter. He’s dangerous, stay away from him.”

“Wow, judgmental much? So, if you’ve ever had the unfortunate experience of not being able to provide for yourself, of needing to ask for help somehow that makes you a bad person? Is that why you don’t believe someone took my son either? You looked me up and don’t like my backstory either?”

“Look Ma’am, we don’t want to see you get murdered too.” Officer Locksley added.

“Murdered?” She exclaimed

“Why do you always do that?” Officer Nolan yelled at his partner before turning back to her. “Look, just stay away from the man, let us do our job.”

Emma laughed and turned away from them. “Try doing your job first, maybe then you can give me advice.”

Emma took the backstreets home, satisfied when she didn’t see the black car following her anymore. How dare they judge someone because they had to live in a shelter. Emma had spent a few years in one herself before she was able to provide for her and Henry. Things weren’t always easy for them after Neal left them high and dry with no income and no clothes on their backs. Emma did what she had to do to survive. She hated to think that because of that, she was viewed as a bad mother.

She would do anything for Henry.

Emma tossed her keys on the table, shutting the door behind her and locking the latch. She went to the fridge and grabbed a beer, popping the top and dropping down on her couch. She reached over and pulled the laptop toward her, clicking the button as it blinked to life.

Pulling up Google, she typed, “Killian Jones Storybrooke.”

The search was quick and efficient, the first story came with an older photo of the man she met today. He was younger, probably in his early 20’s. The photo was of him being taken into custody, and another of his mug shot, steely blue eyes staring into the lens with a look of anger. The article was from 15 years ago.

“Killian Jones arrested for manslaughter.” The title caused her eyes to grow, she clicked the link, digging into the details. It appeared the man worked for a criminal mastermind, Mr. Gold, who operated outside the lines of Storybrooke. Killian appeared to be the muscle, hustling people for money that was owed to his boss. The story told of a love affair with the bosses’ wife, Milah. Apparently love was enough to set him straight and he turned on Gold.

From what she could gather from the court case notes, Killian had interrupted a fight between Mr. Gold and his wife, a fight so brutal that it left the woman paralyzed and unable to walk. The ensuing fight ended with Mr. Gold’s death and Killian’s incarceration for manslaughter, with time served and good behavior, Killian served five years.

Emma searched again, “Killian and Milah Jones.” A grainy photo of a wedding was all she could find, the man smiling as he stood behind the woman in the wheelchair. She bit her lip, clicking onto the next article. “Woman dies in car crash leaving behind husband and infant daughter.”

Emma made an audible noise as she clicked the article, reading the story about how a drunk driver had crashed into the couple who were returning home from a quiet dinner. Milah Jones died at the scene leaving Killian alone with his infant daughter, Alice.

Emma wiped the tears from her eyes, clicking on the search bar. “Killian Jones missing daughter”

The photo of the carnival caused her heart to stop. She recognized the lettering on the sign in the background. It said “Neverland”, but she remembered the way the letters of “Pixie Hollow” lit up the night she had arrived at the carnival. Reading the article, she found that the story matched the one that Killian had told her earlier that evening. His daughter had gone into the ride and never came out.

Whatever Killian had become in his life, a liar wasn’t one of them.

Emma didn’t know what it was about the man on the screen in front of her, blue eyes staring back at her as if he had a sad story to tell, but more than anything, she saw understanding behind his eyes. He understood what she was going through more than anyone else.

She reached for her phone sending off a text to Will.

Emma: You were right, it was a wild goose chase going after these parents, no one wanted to talk to me. I just need a few days to get right in my head. I’ll text you soon. Love you.

Before she could stop herself, she was in her car, driving down the highway on her way back to Boston. She glanced in the rearview mirror making sure there wasn’t a black car behind her, the officers who had found nothing about her son in the time they had been looking.

When she pulled up to the dock, she looked at herself in the mirror. “This is crazy.” She said with a laugh.

Crazy was all she had, she thought.

Getting out of her car, she made her way toward the boat parked at the end of the slip. She creeped onboard, unsure of the etiquette for alerting the resident of a houseboat to her presence. “Hello?” She called out nervously, hoping he wasn’t brandishing his knife at this hour. “Killian? It’s me, Emma Swan. We met earlier today.”

There was a creak below her, and she froze. “Hello?”

“It’s bad form to sneak into a man’s home in the middle of the night.” She heard the voice below her; his boots tapped against the boards as he ascended the stairs, moonlight dancing against his dark hair as he reached the deck.

“I’m sorry. I uh…I needed to talk to you. To warn you.”

“Warn me? What do you have to warn me about, love?”

“When I left here, I was followed by the cops.”

“Of course, you were. I’m honestly surprised it took Mills this long to send those two out for a visit. Pity they involved you, my apologizes, Swan.”

“Wait, you knew you were being followed?”

“David and Robin have been keeping an eye on me ever since I left Storybrooke. They are determined that one day they will catch me slicing young children to pieces and put me away forever.” He narrowed his eyes. “Is that what you believe, love?”

“I think you just miss your daughter.” She said softly.

“You mean the boys didn’t tell you all about my sordid past?”

“No. Well, I mean yes, but I don’t care. I read all about it, Mr. Gold, Milah, Alice, if you wanted to hurt me you would have done it earlier when you held a knife to my throat. The way I see it, everyone has a past, that doesn’t mean we don’t miss our kids.”

He stepped toward her. “You’re not afraid of me, Lass?”

She shivered as his lips practically danced off her neck. “N..no.” He stepped back and stared at her as if he were examining every inch of her.

“Then you believe my little, how did you put it earlier…fairytale?”

“I don’t know what I believe, but I know my son didn’t run away.”

“Very well, then it’s story time.”

~*~

“Daddy I want to ride the Jolly Roger!”

“Ok starfish, but first daddy needs to get you that churro you wanted.”

“But I want to ride the ride, there’s isn’t any line.”

“But you can’t take food with you on the ride, Alice.”

“I can go on it by myself while you hold my churro, daddy. I’m a big girl.”

“Are you now, love?”

The little girl smiled brightly, and Killian knew he could never tell her no. He paid for the churro and the man handed it toward him as they walked toward the Jolly Roger Adventure ride. They approached the attendant and he handed over the tickets.

“Is she alright to ride alone?”

The man laughed, “Ah yeah, it’s not scary, in one door and out the other.”

He nodded to the man, looking around at the quiet ride, there wasn’t a single child in line. “Alright, starfish, get in your ship and enjoy the ride.” The little girl wrapped her arms around his waist and smiled up at him.

“Love you daddy.”

“I love you too, my darling.”

She ran toward the ride, looking back one last time. “Don’t eat my churro.”

Killian’s eyes darted around the room, watching as the woman examined the photos he had amassed in the belly of his boat. He didn’t know if the woman believed everything he had told her about his dealings with Peter Pan and his traveling carnival, but he knew that she was desperate to find her son and if he knew anything it was that desperate people would believe almost anything.

If Pan had this woman’s son, he would need her to believe him. It was the only way he was ever going to get Alice back. He’d been doing this alone for five years, maybe it was time to try something else.

~*~

“What are you going to do when you get out of here?” Alice asked Henry as they sat in the dark.

“I’m going to eat the biggest piece of birthday cake I’ve ever eaten. I might even eat an entire cake.” The girl laughed. In the few days she had known Henry, he had always been at her side. He was scared and missed his mother, but more than anything else, he seemed to feel comfortable in her presence.

Alice had been here longer than most of the other children, she had remembered that terrifying feeling of being alone, knowing that you were trapped and couldn’t get home. She missed her father more than anything in this world but growing up she had learned a lot from her father about accepting your circumstances, learning to adapt to your environment.

She had done just that, adapted. She didn’t cause trouble, she made friends with all the children, and she knew when to speak and when not to. She felt it was her job to take the children under her wing, to keep them out of harms way.

“What are you going to do when you get out of here?” The boy asked.

“I’m going to sit down with my dad and eat a churro.” She laughed, smiling fondly at the last memory she had of her father standing at the entrance of that stupid ride, holding a teddy bear in one arm and a churro in the other. The smile on his face as he watched her disappear into the black void was the last thing she remembered every night when she went to sleep.

One day, I’ll find you daddy, she thought.

One day, I promise.

[luxekook]

chapter eight.

⇥ pairing: ot7 x reader

⇥ genre: college au with fluff, smut & angst

⇥ summary: a series in which the reader meets (and falls for) seven members of the Beta Tau Sigma (BTS) fraternity

⇥ word count: 6.5k

⇥ warnings: 18+, lots of cursing, general chaotic energy [more than usual], poly relationship, switch!reader, dom!joon, switch!jin, switch!hobi, sub!yoongi, sub!jk, sub!tae, sub!jimin, jk is a whole cutie, everybody gets their bob ross on, PUNS, pick up lines, smut [thigh kink, noona kink, marking, oral (f receiving), dom/sub themes, daddy kink, mentions of spanking, lots of lap sitting]

© luxekook. please do not repost, modify, edit or translate.

characters | prologue | one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine

Chapter Eight

(Y/n) & Luna’s Apartment – 8:38am

I wake to the sound of thunder and groan as my eyes strain to focus on the rain pouring down outside my window. Hastily, I grab for my phone and scroll through my notifications. Yup, my friend Brianna - the president of the Alphites - had emailed to say that Habitat is cancelled for the morning.

What did this mean for my date? Swiping over to the group chat, I quickly type a message to the boys.

Queen (y/n), Worldwide Handsome, and 6 Peasants

8:40am, (y/n): “Yo, dweebs. No volunteering today because of the rain. Looks like our date is cancelled, too…”

I laugh evilly as my phone consequentially blows up with a series of question marks and exclamations. Just as I’m about to put a stop to the madness I’d caused, my phone screen darkens with the telltale chimes of an incoming FaceTime.

Not even bothering to shift out of bed, I swipe to answer. “Hi, Hobi,” I grin at my sunshine who looks a little pouty this morning. The metaphorical rain cloud over his head lessens marginally at my smile.

The puffy, bare-faced boy sighs and runs a hand through his wild hair. Obviously, Hoseok had just woken up, and I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to wake up next to him.

“(Y/n)? Did you hear me?” Hobi chuckles, bringing my attention back to my phone. “You weren’t serious, right? Our date is still on? We have the whole thing planned! The rain doesn’t even affect it! And—”

“Is that (y/n)?” A cry of uproar sounds from the background on Hobi’s end of the line. A thundering of footsteps commences; and, suddenly, I am faced with seven slivers of faces all crowded together.

“(Y/n)!” Jungkook rips the phone from Hoseok’s grasp and takes off out of the room. The background blurs as he runs. Faintly, I can make out blurry figures giving chase behind him. “(Y/n)! Please still come over. We have everything set up! Saturdays are always full of noona, and I don’t want to break the tradition.”

Letting out a laugh at the fluffy haired boy, I smirk, “First of all, let me just say that I’m glad you don’t subscribe to the whole ‘SaTuRdAyS aRe FoR tHe BoYs’ toxicity. And second of all, you do realize you just gave away the date plans, right?”

“Jungkook!” The shout from what could only be an enraged Seokjin echoes across the connection.

I watch in amusement as the background once again blurs. As the feed refocuses, Jimin’s beaming face greets me, and I roll my eyes at the realization that Jungkook must have tossed him the phone. Probably playing a game of ‘Monkey in the Middle’ with their eldest brother, I assume.

Deciding enough is enough, I retake control of the situation with the tried and true method of the shock factor™. “Hey, I’m naked.”

Silence falls.

Then comes the seven pairs of eyes crowding the screen that I had hoped for.

Disappointed huffs resound from the collective as I cackle, trying my best to ignore their indignant cries.

“Noona’s not even naked!”

“Why, there’s not even a boob to be seen!”

“She’s got us lookin’ like boo-boo the fool, boys…SMH!”

“Jin, did you just say ‘SMH’?” The boy opens his mouth to respond, but I decide there’s no time to discuss acronyms right now. Shaking my own head swiftly, I clear my throat, “No, never mind. Now that I have your attention, I need someone to tell me what the plan is. Am I getting out of bed today? Are we still doing the thing?”

“You can get out of your bed and into mine,” Taehyung’s words barely escape his mouth before he is pushed out of frame by at least four of the others.

“Tae, are you trying to get your name added to my punishment list?” I smirk as two boys in particular gulp, “Jimin and Jin already have the distinct honor. Isn’t that right, boys?”

“You can add my name, noona!” Jungkook gasps out, lunging once again for control of the phone. He is shoved out of the way by Namjoon.

“Oh, my little Kookie,” I laugh, “That would practically be a reward for you.”

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about your own punishment, (y/n),” Namjoon stares me down from the other end of the phone.

“I mean, you can try it,” I shrug, “But I’ll probably either like it or turn it around on you at some point. Just saying…”

“Sounds good to me,” Joon grins, his dimples popping out, “Now get your sweet ass over here so I can spank it.”

“Right now?” I double check the time, “It’s still not even nine fucking AM. What is this going to be? Some sort of all day extravaganza? Y’all better be feeding me.”

“Yah, do you know who I am?” Jin butts in from his small corner of the screen, ”You are in the presence of Worldwide Handsome Chef Extraordinaire Kim Seokjin! Of course you’re going to be well fed - both with my visuals and with food!”

“I have no words,” I say.

Jin forges on, “Speechless, eh? I’m used to it.”

“Could the two of you stop your gross flirting for one second so that we can actually convince (y/n) to come over?”

Yoongi’s scowl appears on screen as he takes control of the phone. Jin can be heard squawking indignantly in the background.

“Gross?” I raise an eyebrow, “That’s not what you were saying when you were teaching me piano.”

“Is that a euphemism?” Taehyung yelps.

“I think so,” Jimin answers darkly.

“Wait, what’s a ‘you feminism’ again?” Jungkook mumbles from somewhere in the room.

“Oh my god,” Namjoon moans, sounding completely done, “(y/n), I am begging you to hang up and call my phone so that I can actually let you in on the plan.”

“Bet,” I say, “I’ll call you in an hour. I’m going back to sleep.”

I hang up, abruptly cutting off their whiny protests. Boys can always wait. Extra sleep, however, must seized at every opportunity.

Sinking back into the bliss of my comfy bed, I smile as I flip my phone over and promptly fall back asleep.

(Y/n) & Luna’s Apartment – 11:57am

“(Y/n).”

“(Y/n)!”

“(Y/n), for the love of Jared Padalecki, get your ass up!”

Groaning, I wave Luna off with a limp arm, still half asleep. “Go away,” my garbled words prove to be futile as she pulls the covers right off of me.

“Your entourage is here,” Luna hisses, grabbing my ankle and attempting to tug me off the bed.

“My what?” I kick at her hold, “Stop going all horror movie on me!”

“You haven’t seen horror! Horror is waking up to the furious sound of fists pounding at the front door and thinking your dark past of downloading music off of sketchy websites has finally caught up with you! Horror is pulling open the door in just your Harry Potter onesie only to be faced with seven hot and all-too-put-together dudes!”

My brain slowly wraps its away around the meaning of her words. “Oh, fuck.” I launch out of bed, flailing around for my phone.

111 Messages

34 Missed Calls

14 Voicemails

“Good god,” I toss my phone back on my bed and stalk past Luna into the living room where my ‘entourage’ is gathered.

“Okay, what the fuck,” I cross my arms over my chest as I stare down at the seven boys spread out across our second-hand sectional.

“Noona, you’re here!” Jungkook springs up from his seat and tackles me in a hug.

“Where else would I be? I fucking live here,” I mumble into his chest, annoyance slipping away with each breath.

“I told you she just overslept,” Yoongi mutters from the couch, sounding very much like he was dragged here against his will.

“Finally,” I say, pulling away from Jungkook to beam down at Yoongi, “An intellectual. Now, what about the rest of you overreactive imbeciles? Did you just come over so that you could snoop around where I live?”

As I say this, my eyes narrow on Namjoon. The boy is inspecting the teacup I had forgotten to put away last night like it’s a new archaeological find. My words fluster him, and he fumbles with the cup before it falls from his grasp to shatter on the floor.

“I am so sorry!” Namjoon yelps. The rest of the boys look on with disappointment but not surprise.

“That was my great grandmother’s teacup,” I whisper, falling to my knees dramatically.

“Namjoon, your destructive nature has gone too far!” Seokjin yells, scrambling over to me. My face is buried in my hands as my shoulders shake. I can’t hold it any longer.

I burst out laughing. “Oh my god, it’s fine, Joon. I’m kidding. It was just a cup from Target’s clearance section.”

“So evil!” Namjoon whines, “I was so worried!” Shuffling over to the hallway closet, I pull out our dustpan and broom. Walking back, I hand it off to Namjoon before he can attempt to pick up a fragment of the shattered cup.

“Don’t even think about using your bare hands, Joon,” I narrow my eyes at him, “A trip to Urgent Care does not count as a date.”

“Noona,” Taehyung pipes up, “You should join the Acting Club! Did I mention I’m the president?”

“Oh, here we go,” Yoongi scowls, flicking his eyes over to where Seokjin is rapidly turning a concerning shade of red.

Mount Seokjin erupts, “You’re only president on a bullshit technicality! Fifth years can’t be on Exec boards, you swine!”

“Yo, Seokjin, I’m really bummed about that policy, and Imma let you finish. But, let me just say that if y’all don’t leave so I can get ready, I will avoid you for the rest of time.”

Seconds tick by. I frown, “I don’t see movement. Why don’t I see movement?”

“Well,” Jimin hedges, shrinking under my gaze, “We figured you could just come back with us? It would save you a trip?”

The disobedience in this crew would drive me off a cliff. “I guess I was not clear the first time. I am going to drive myself because: 1) I can leave on my own terms and 2) I can leave an overnight bag in the car just in case. Although, that possibility is slipping away by the millisecond.”

“Alright! Time to go!” Jungkook barks, herding the boys towards the door.

As they practically run out the door, Namjoon turns back to me with an arched brow, “No going back to sleep.”

I salute him, “Scout’s honor. I’ll see you in a bit.” With that, I’m finally left in peace and quiet.

“Want to explain what that was all about?!” Luna stalks out of her room, “I need the tea!”

A full hour and a half later, I find myself in an eerily empty frat house.

“Y’all really kicked everyone out, huh?” I comment as I peer around each corner of the house. There is not a soul - besides these seven fools - to be seen.

“I mean, there are only three other people that actually live here permanently,” Namjoon counters, ever the diplomatic president, “The rest of the rooms are mainly for guests or if a member needs temporary housing.”

Humming noncommittally, I come to an abrupt halt when the dining room comes into view. All the furniture has been pushed to one side to make room for eight easels and an excessive amount of paint.

“It looks like a Michael’s threw up in here,” I marvel.

“Who is Michael?” Jimin pops up next to me with narrowed eyes. The rest of the boys file in behind him.

“My sugar daddy,” I deadpan, “He’s an artist.”

Namjoon cracks up, while Jimin pouts adorably. “I guess you know what we’re going to do now, baby,” Namjoon says, still chuckling lightly.

“We’re doing DIY Painting with a Twist!” Taehyung yells, “The twist is that there’s no wine. Namjoon said it could get ‘too out of hand’ - whatever that means.”

“What is everyone going to paint?” Hobi asks the room after a brief pause, “I’m going to make something for (y/n)! It’s a surprise.”

“That’s so sweet, Hobi,” I smile at the boy, “Thank you!”

Not a group to be outdone, the boys quickly affirm that they too had been planning to make something for me all along.

Rolling my eyes, I sigh, “Careful, I’m going to get used to y’all spoiling me.”

“Good,” Namjoon nods, “You’re learning.”

“Yes, daddy,” I tease, “Are you going to keep spoiling your good girl?”

“You’re not a good girl,” Yoongi laughs, “You’re a fucking force of nature.”

“Thank you,” I wipe a nonexistent tear from under my eye, “This is why you are currently my favorite.”

“What!”

“Wait, you have a running favorite?”

“How can I get to be your favorite?”

Five minutes later, the room is empty aside from Jungkook and I. The rest of the boys dispersed the moment they decided to make painting a competition for my favor.

“Aren’t you going to hide away, too?” I address the younger boy next to me.

“Why would I go anywhere else when you’re right here?” Jungkook shuffles closer to me, “Besides, I wanted to use a different canvas.”

“Ah, I see,” I nod sagely before pulling my long-sleeved shirt up and over my head.

“Noona!” Jungkook chokes as he takes in my slightly sheer tank top and the black bra that peeks out from underneath, “I meant your wrist!”

“Calm down, Kook,” I laugh, “I can put it back on if you want. I just don’t want to get paint on it.”

Jungkook shakes his head furiously.

He then grabs my arm gently, flipping it over so that the inside of my wrist faces up. His thumb brushes over my erratic pulse and pauses. “Are you nervous, noona?” His wide eyes stare up at me, “You don’t have to let me paint on you.”

“It’s okay, Kookie,” I say, brushing his fallen hair out of his eyes,  “Paint me like one of your French girls.”

The boy’s cheeks bloom a bright red as he flashes me a small smile, “That’s one of my favorite movies.”

My heart swells as the cuteness that is Jeon Jungkook, and I can’t resist teasing him further. “Jungkook,” I whisper, leaning forward, “I would gladly share my door with you to keep you warm.”

“Noona,” He whines, trying to pretend like he wants to get away from me. I would rate his efforts a 1/10 considering his hand is still firmly wrapped around my wrist.

“The iceberg would melt because of how hot you are…” I keep going, arching closer to murmur in his ear, “Just like the Titanic, I would go down on you for hours.”

“Noona!” Jungkook yelps, “Stop playing with me!”

“Fine,” I pout, “But the offer stands.”

“You’re going to kill me…” He mumbles. Dipping his paintbrush into his nearby palette, Jungkook begins to etch the outline of what looks like some sort of flower onto my wrist. The strokes of the brush across my skin make me shiver - something that does not go unnoticed by Jungkook.

His eyes dart to mine, and I feel like crumbling under the weight of the adoration I find within them.

“Kookie,” I glance down, breaking the intensity before it consumed me whole, “What kind of flower is this?”

He mumbles something inaudible.

“What?” My ears strain to pick up the boy who for some reason decided to answer in the language of tiny.

“A tiger flower,” Jungkook turns away to grab a new brush, his hair failing to hide his flushed cheeks. I watch enraptured as he mixes the orange and white shades to get the end result he wants.

Returning to my wrist, he leans down and lightly blows across the drying paint.

“This is unfair,” I mumble as the boy continues to unknowingly seduce me. Or did he know? My eyes narrow as his gaze flicks to mine. Arching a brow, I decide to press him, “This wouldn’t have anything to do with the matching tattoo on your forearm, right?”

“N-no,” Jungkook panics, eyes darting this way and that, “That would be Ludacris.”

Did he just— Not the time.

“Mhm,” I hum, ever the skeptic.

Jungkook swallows before once again resorting to tiny speak, “Okay, yes, it does. I’m asking you to love me, noona. Please.”

My breath escapes me in a whoosh as I stare dumbfounded at the pleading boy who once again starts to paint my wrist. Why is such a beautiful human lacking in adoration? Why does he need my affection when he has six other lovers?

“Why?” The question slips past my lips before I can catch it.

“Because,” He continues to paint, “I can see myself loving you for a very long time, and I just want to be loved back for just as long.”

The silence that falls after Jungkook’s admission feels safe and comfortable. His words swirl around my mind. And as he finishes the flower now adorning my wrist, I give him an answer I’m not even sure he had been waiting for. “Jungkook,” I wait until he meets my eyes, “I don’t think I’m in love with you yet. I’m not even sure I know what love is or what it feels like. But I can see myself falling for you. And I do know that there is a place in my heart labeled ‘Jeon Jungkook’, just like there are six other places for the rest of you… Y’all really do take up a lot of space.”

I let out a little laugh as Jungkook’s lips twitch in amusement. I continue, “It scares me sometimes. How I might fall for all of you and get heartbroken seven times over. But, I might also fall for all of you and get seven times the amount of love in return. And so I’m willing to fight for that chance. Besides, what’s life without a little risk?”

Jungkook is quiet for a moment, and then he whispers, “I really like you, (y/n)-noona.”

I lean closer to him. Our noses brush as I whisper back, “I really like you, too, Jungkookie.”

The smile I get in response is blinding, and I can’t resist pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“I’m done!” Taehyung hurtles through the doorway, lugging a giant canvas that definitely had not been in the room earlier, “I call this masterpiece: ‘My Boo’.”

Gaping, I take in the massive canvas full of swirling colors and abstract shapes. It’s honestly overwhelming and a bit dramatic, but that is Taehyung. And I love it.

“It’s so pretty!” I coo, shuffling over to side-hug Tae.

He shyly hangs his head on my shoulder, “You really think so?”

“Yes, baby,” I nod, “Of course I do.”

One by one the other boys return to present me with their art. Seokjin presents a sea of rainbow colored hearts (“Get it? I see hearts when you’re around!”). Hobi shows off his technicolored sunset (“It’s how I feel when I look at you, (y/n)! Hopeful, but at peace.”). Jimin bashfully hands over a painting of two silhouettes dancing (“It’s us.” *blushes profusely*). Yoongi gives me a black canvas with a portion of lighter blue mixed in (“You make my world brighter.”). Finally, Namjoon shuffles over with a succulent plant in a painted flower pot (“I accidentally elbowed a hole through my canvas… This is my favorite plant, for you.”).

The boys also marvel over the flower that Jungkook painted on my wrist while the younger boy beams with pride. One of them mentions ordering pizza for dinner, and the room clears within seconds as the majority flees in search of a menu.

Namjoon is the last to remain, admiring the art etched on my skin. “You know what it means, right?” He murmurs, thumb tentatively brushing across the dried paint.

“He told me,” I nod, focused on the gentle caress of his fingers.

Namjoon lifts my hand to his mouth and places a light kiss. The motion takes me back to the memory of a few weeks ago where he first had performed the action. “I hope you know the sentiment extends to all of us as well.”

“Oh, does it?” I smile, “You might have to mark me to make it believable.”

“Consider it done,” Namjoon says before pulling me closer to him and placing his lips on my neck. What an opportunist, I muse as he bites down gently. His tongue flicks before his lips once again press down on my neck. Namjoon litters my neck with small kisses. I gasp as he suddenly returns to the initial spot and bites down slightly harder, sucking and licking at my neck afterwards.

“Joon,” I breathe out as he pulls back, looking all smug and proud of himself, “I will get you back for this.”

“I look forward to it, baby.” With that, Namjoon laces his fingers through my own and tugs me out of the room towards the ruckus being caused in the kitchen.

One hour later, the eight of us are piled on the massive living room sofa.

“I think I’m pregnant,” Seokjin moans, rubbing a hand over his stomach. “The father is Papa John.”

“I told you not to race to beat Kook to the last slice,” Hobi shakes his head, “No one ever listens in this house.”

“You get me, bro, you get me,” Namjoon extends his fist to Hoseok who fist bumps him.

I survey the room from where I’m perched on Taehyung and Jimin, one leg hitched over one of theirs. “I thought we were going to watch a movie?” I furrow my brows, “Or was that just a ploy to get me to stay longer?”

Jungkook scrambles to his feet, “I’ll go get Titanic!”

“No!”

“Please, god, no!”

“Noooo!”

The crestfallen expression that crosses Jungkook’s face tugs at my heartstrings. “Aw, Kook, I really inspired you with my words earlier, huh?” His pouting intensifies as he stalks back over to his end of the couch.

“Never let me watch what I want,” He mumbles. Sensing that this is an often fought battle, I shimmy off of Tae and Jimin and head over towards the youngest.

“How about this,” I reason, “Let the group decide what movie to watch, and I’ll sit with you during it.”

“Promise?” Large brown eyes peer up at me. At my nod, his expression brightens, and he pats his legs excitedly.

Settling down on his thighs, I realize I have made a grave miscalculation.

My thigh-riding kink + Jungkook’s muscular thighs = chaos

As the rest of the boys argue between watching Die Hard or The Hangover, I shift my hips slowly to try to get more comfortable. Jungkook’s swift inhale tells me that my move wasn’t as low-key as I had hoped.

“Noona, stop moving,” He mumbles into my hair, his arms firmly circling my waist.

“Sorry, baby,” I mutter back to him, trying hard to reign in my thirst.

The boys finally decide to watch Die Hard. Minutes tick by as the movie I’ve seen multiple times before plays on the screen. I’m only half paying attention, and I’m pretty sure Jungkook isn’t paying attention at all.

His fingers have shifted under my tank top and are drawing patterns onto the skin of my stomach. “So soft,” He marvels, his words ghosting across the skin of my neck.

The effect the boy has on me is deadly, and I retaliate with one of the only ways I can. I grind my hips slowly down onto his. The heat of his body warms my own, the hardness of his cock becoming more and more apparent underneath me.

“Noona,” Jungkook moans, “You’re so unfair.”

I whisper back, “You started it.”

He scoffs, moving my hair to one side of my neck, and pauses. “Oh, what’s this?”

“Don’t even think—”

His lips descend onto my neck, cutting me off mid-sentence. “Insolent child,” I breathe out, trying to keep my shit together despite finding it so fucking hot that Jungkook’s mouth is where Joon’s had been just over an hour ago.

Keeping my eyes firmly on the screen where John McClane is steadily taking down a whole crime organization singlehandedly, I try in vain not to imagine getting double teamed by Jungkook and Namjoon. By the time the credits roll, my panties are a mess. I can feel Jungkook practically throbbing underneath me from being so hard, and I’m pretty sure my nipples could cut through glass.

“What’d you think, (y/n)?” Hobi beams over at me from the other end of the couch.

I plaster a smile on my face like I hadn’t just been imagining the whole room naked and engaged in NSFW activities. “It was iconic as always!”

The boys seem to happily accept my answer. Well, most of them do. Yoongi is staring at me with a suspicious expression. Damn, that boy is too observant for his own good.

“Well,” I decide to try to regain some semblance of self-control, “Where did I put my keys?”

“WHAT!”

“You can’t leave! It’s only 9pm!”

“You said you would would stay overnight!”

I roll my eyes upwards, at least this provided Jungkook an opportunity to tug a pillow onto his lap. “I’m going to get my bag from the car, you fools.”

The boys let out a collectively sheepish “Ah”.

“I’ll walk you, noona,” Jimin stands, making his way over to my side.

“Trying to butter me up, baby?” I can’t help but ruffle his hair, “Okay, come on.”

Jimin and I make our way to the front door where my keys lie on the entryway table. Grabbing them, I head out into the darkness of the front yard with Jimin trailing after me.

“Will you sit with me for the next movie, noona?” Jimin asks, running a hand through his hair as we trek towards my parked Jeep.

“What’s in it for me?” I joke, unlocking the passenger side door and grabbing my bag. Turning back towards the house, I shut and lock my car behind me.

“Cuddles?” Jimin answers, eyes wide and bottom lip poked out.

“Stop that,” I moan, moving swiftly past him, “Puppy-Dog eyes? That’s so unfair!”

“Is it working?” He races to keep up with me, “I think its working.”

“You’re still on my shit list, Park Jimin,” I whirl around, drop my bag to the ground, and grab the front of his shirt. Moving to a standstill with his lips an inch from mine, I say, “Or did you forget?”

Jimin gulps, his eyes dark, “I didn’t forget. It’s all I’ve been thinking about.”

I place the lightest kiss to his lips, “Good answer.” With that, I pick my bag back up and waltz back into the house. “Are you coming?” I call at the boy still standing in the middle of the front yard.

“Now I know why Kook says you’re mean,” Jimin shakes his head at me as he regains the will to move.

“You’re a fast learner,” I comment, placing my keys back onto the entryway table. “I’ll sit with you.”

“Yay!” Jimin cheers, “I’ll go tell Taehyungie!”

“What?” I screech after the boy’s departing form, “I didn’t know this was some sort of package deal! Lord give me strength…”

Rifling through my bag to double check I have everything, I notice that I seem to be lacking a sleep shirt. How is it that I could pack three different pairs of socks for one night over but forget a fucking shirt?

“SOS,” I call out, zipping my bag back up. Once again, the sound of stampeding steps is heard before the seven of them appear above me.

“Someone needs to give me their biggest and comfiest t-shirt.”

A brief pause permeates the room before all seven boys dart into action. Left all alone in the entryway, I let out an incredulous laugh at how completely whipped I’m becoming for them.

After a few minutes, I hear them congregating in the hall just up the stairs. Just as I’m about to go investigate, they shuffle down. Namjoon presents me with a pile of what must be a selection of t-shirts from the bunch.

“We all want you to wear our clothes, so we decided to make it fair and just let you pick one without knowing who’s it is,” Seokjin explains.

Looking around the room, I can tell they all think this is a magnificent idea. Meanwhile, I’m baffled why they think I wouldn’t know who’s shirt is who’s just from the style, size, and smell. However, I decide to be a nice girl and play along.

“Okay,” I grab the entire pile along with my bag, “I’ll go change.”

“I’m so excited!” Taehyung bounces up and down, “She’s going to pick mine. I know it!”

“That’s because you gave her your Ce—” As Taehyung tackles Jimin to the floor, I take that as my cue to leave.

Speeding up the steps, I make a beeline for Yoongi’s room, entering and locking the door behind me. My bag is tossed on the bed first followed by the sea of mostly black and white clothing. They know me so well already.

I examine my options:

A white Balenciaga t-shirt with “Europe 2018” embroidered in red over the heart,

A soft pink hoodie by Marques’ Almeida with long black silky drawstrings,

A red and black striped Raf Simons long-sleeved shirt with sewn-on patches,

A Fear of God white t-shirt with the iconic “FG” on the front,

A black Mastermind t-shirt with the brandname and a skull and crossbones emblazoned on it,

A black Celine t-shirt also with the brandname on the front, and

A grey long-sleeved t-shirt by Carhartt with the name in blue along the sleeve.

Making my selection, I shake my head over the careless nature these boys handle their extremely expensive clothing. I am almost certain that Jungkook had given me the only shirt of the bunch that was under $100.

Regardless, I fold the rest of the shirts before stuffing them into my duffle bag. If they all want me to wear their clothes, I will - eventually. Quickly, I change into my sleep shorts, tug on what I assume is Hobi’s shirt, and head out of Yoongi’s room.

Opening the door, I blink as seven expectant faces shine back at me. Six expressions fall as one lights up even more. “You chose mine!” Hoseok cheers, running to engulf me in a hug that sweeps me off my feet, “Oh, you look so cute!”

“Can’t. Breathe.”

“Why’d you leave your stuff in Yoongi-hyung’s room, noona?” Taehyung pouts as the rest of the boys try to pretend like they also aren’t miffed.

“Because I’m going to sleep with him?” I march over to Yoongi and hug him from behind, pressing my lips to his cheek. “Is that okay with you, Yoongs?”

The boy grumbles under my show of affection, but his hands come up to clasp over mine as they circle his waist. “I can live with that, I guess.” The eye roll accompanying his words is so evident even when standing behind him.

“You’ll pay for that, baby boy,” I whisper in his ear before biting gently down on his earlobe, reveling in the cute little squeak that emits from him in response.

“She’s still sitting with me and Tae during the next movie, though!” Jimin - ever the instigator - interjects as the group makes their way back downstairs. Yoongi and I shuffle behind them.

The eight of us decide to watch The Hangover next since that had been the runner-up before. Once again, I’m draped between Jimin and Taehyung. This time, I’m fully placed on Jimin’s lap while my legs are sprawled out across Tae’s thighs.

My legs had barely even settled onto his lap before his hands were on them. This time I don’t even pretend like I’m paying attention to the movie. I’m more entranced by the way Taehyung kneads his way up my legs from my ankles to my calves to the insides of my thighs.

Meanwhile, Jimin is snuggled into me tightly. His face is shoved into the crook of my neck, and I honestly think he might be sound asleep. With each breath, Jimin’s pillowy lips brush my collarbone. I couldn’t tell if this is my own personal heaven or hell.

Looking up, I meet the dark gaze of Min Yoongi once again. Neither of us break eye contact as I try to read the look on his face and his body language.

He is either: 1) pissed off by something I did, 2) turned on by something I did, or 3) all of the above.

My hunch is the third. Testing that theory, I slide my tongue across my bottom lip. Sure enough, his eyes track the motion instantly before returning to mine. Bing-pot.

The movies seems to take way longer than it’s hour and forty-something minutes. I blame the combination of my sexual frustration and the varying degrees of awareness of it from the boys.

As soon as the credits roll, I extract myself from the holds that Jimin and Tae had on me. “I’m tired,” I lie.

“Aw,” Seokjin hurries over to me and sweeps me into a tight hug, “Get some beauty sleep, darling. Because, in the morning, I’m making pancakes!”

I place a swift kiss to his cheek, “Sounds perfect.”

I bid the rest of the boys goodnight with similar affections. Slowly, I make my way over to the stairs, knowing that Yoongi is trailing after me closely.

Making sure to put an extra swing in my hips, I climb up the staircase like I was getting paid to do it. Finally, I enter Yoongi’s room, turn to face the boy it belonged to, and tug him inside.

“What the fuck, Min Yoongi,” I hiss before closing the door behind him and shoving him against it.

“What?”

He has the audacity— I take a calming breath.

“You eye-fuck me throughout the entire movie and ask me ‘what’?” My hands curl into the fabric of his shirt.

A small smile makes its way across Yoongi’s face as my glower intensifies, “You can’t expect me not to think about that after you announce to everyone that you’re sleeping with me.”

“I didn’t mean literally, you buffoon,” I groan, turning away to head towards the bed.

Yoongi grabs my hips, halting me in place. “I know. But that didn’t stop me from thinking about what it would be like with you. What it would be like to be selfish with you.”

“You want to be selfish with me?” I ask softly, “What does that mean?”

“It means that I know that Tae was the first to get your mouth, but I want to be the first to give you mine.”

Yoongi’s words steal the breath from my lungs and the chill from my very soul. I gasp out, “You want to taste me, baby? That’s what you want?”

“More than anything,” Yoongi groans, pushing his hips into mine. “Please, (y/n), I’ll do anything to put my mouth on you.”

I pull away from Yoongi so that I can face him. His pupils are blown out, his hair is messy, and his expression is devastating with its pleading look. After being teased by so many of the others for the whole evening, he looks like my salvation.

“Okay,” I nod, lying down with my legs hanging off the edge of the bed. “Do your worst. No, not the time for that expression. Do your best. Please.”

Chuckling, Yoongi sinks to his knees before me, running his hands up my legs and resting on the hem of my shorts. He sends me an asking look, and I nod. His fingers shake slightly as he pulls off my shorts.

Left in nothing but pair of lacy red boy-briefs, I shiver in anticipation as I feel Yoongi slip a tentative finger underneath the remaining material.

“Fuck,” He groans, sliding his finger up and down my folds, “You’re so fucking wet, baby.”

“Well, do something about it,” I command, moving my hips up so that he might get the hint to take of my underwear. His finger slides out from underneath them and he doesn’t even hesitate before sucking it into his mouth.

“Yoongi,” I hiss, getting more and more impatient.

Yoongi pulls his finger out of his mouth, “Sorry, (y/n), I just want to savor this moment.”

“You can savor my pussy with your mouth,” I say, “Or are you all talk, Min Yo—”

Quicker than I can comprehend, Yoongi slides my panties to the side and licks a stripe up my folds. I moan as he sucks and licks at my pussy like a man possessed.

“Fuck,” I grab his hair and tug him closer, feeling him moan into me.

The build up of tension and frustration from being surrounded by these boys for the entire day has me on the brink of orgasm already.

Yoongi’s mouth closes over my clit, circling it with his tongue and flicking it slowly.

“More, Yoongi,” I demand.

He listens. Still worshipping my clit, Yoongi slips a finger inside me, curling it in such a practiced way I could scream.

He adds a second. Yoongi’s fingers thrust in and out of me as his tongue continues to taste and tease my pussy.

When he hits a certain spot in me, I moan his name, and I swear he growls. Repeatedly, his fingers hit that same spot inside me and I’m panting, trying my hardest not to come. Not yet.

“Harder!” I moan. Again, Yoongi follows like a good boy, his fingers and tongue picking up the pace.

Pausing to pull my legs over his shoulders, Yoongi meets my eyes. The pinkness of his lips glisten with my juices as he sighs, “I think you might be my new favorite meal.”

Before I can even respond, his resumes wrecking me. He fucks me with his fingers, grabbing at my ass with his free hand.

His mouth devours my pussy, wreaking havoc on my clit with every flick of his tongue.

My thighs quake as my battle to hold off coming becomes too much to endure. My back arches as the pleasure builds up with each quick stroke of his tongue and every movement of his fingers.

As if he knows exactly how to ruin me forever, Yoongi sucks on my clit harshly, and I come, my thighs trapping him between them. Despite it all, Yoongi continues to fuck me, lapping up everything like a starving man.

Soon, the overstimulation hits and I relax my thighs. Pulling his hair, I murmur, “Stop.”

Yoongi obeys.

“Come here,” I sit up, extending an arm out to him. He shuffles forward and when he is within reach I launch myself at him. Kissing him fiercely, I taste myself on his tongue.

“That was so good, baby,” I reach my hand up to stroke his flushed cheek. “Do you want me to help you out?”

“No,” Yoongi shakes his head, “I would rather eat you out again.”

“You’re insatiable!” I cry, tugging out of his hold. “We’ll see…”

a/n: this chap got away from meeee AHHHHHH it’s the longest one yet uwu hope u enjoyed! :) also this is v unedited bc i wanted to post asap so keep that in mind hehe

@catsandstrawberries @h5naaa @meowmeowyoongles @leftflowerprunedonut @rjsmochii @karissassirak @weallhavesecretsinthebestway​ @cage7241​ @cvbachacbitch @honeyspillings @valiantcollectorofsandwiches @fivesecondsofsarang @oii-f-eli-x2 @joonsroses @theevilyouknow @jooniescupcakes @expensive-grl @i-dont-even-know-fck @athletes-of-god​@doingmybestalltheftime @elraee @fangirling-all-the-way-tbh @laced-brds @breeeeh17 @peachyharmoney @rilakoya @chulchuchi @tabula-rasa0 @guccishookv @nomimits7 @i-like-puppy-mg @s-noir @anna-sorel @im-a-space-child @yeontanismypresident @drowning-in-oxygen @team-wang-puppy @lvvegood @anongirl007 @may114 @r-e-d-i-s-h @unatempesta-dipensieri @dragon-rider-with-a-book @blueberrygeniejam @wondrsblog @vi-hoshi @kirbykook @katemwatson @kawaiikpoplover268 @amsteramyy @sami4life @a-feeling-of-euphoria @the-jackals @bubbletae7 @platinum-grenade @bunnyboyenthusiast @brightly-byun @oofmeintheheadpls @sadboibts @lidda @goldenwidow3 @t-mel19 @lmkjimin @psiphidragon @jeon-joker @sathom013 @lustremyg @ggsmashgg @justyouraveragerando @shadowstark @our-little-meow-meow @baby-hobii @mythicalmeep @asifetch7 @kassandravictoria @eltrain80 @briannasthings @bumblekey93 @ohmwreckr @beach-bitch-bitch-beach @softchimmee @kookoo-kachoo @lenuminous @ass-hole-in-one @peaches-422 @spacejooon @sleepyje0n @uxwi @tellmeyoulovemepls @yady24 @lovesick-heart0 @redirect-min @hopetookourvibe @noonaduck  @mini-coop25 @multifandomgirl29 @rhd31 @yoongixvevo @sweetnspicy93 @kuppyjiminie @love-and-other-possibilities @fuckyouandtheboatyoucamein @geminidrawsstuff @livorna @naajix @minjoonhome @subtlepjiminie @mono-kookie @purpleheartsfortae @krystle1990 @jungkooks-nut-is-tasty-in-busan @sky-the-squirrel @jinyounglovebot @vivpurple7 @xcastielbabyangelface @patpus @daydreamingwithbts��

a/n: if u asked to be added to the taglist and u did not get tagged, u might be one of the couple ppl that i couldn’t tag [check ur settings, fam!]

[theyearoftheking]

Book Eighty-One: Billy Summers

“Maybe a chilly story needs a chilly writing room, he thinks. It’s as good an explanation as any, since the whole process is a mystery to him, anyway.” 

Well hello there, Constant Readers! Have you missed me and my half-assed reviews of Steve books? 

Crickets. 

I know I’ve promised book reviews, television recaps... all the things. But I’m kind of busy living and enjoying life at the moment, without the need to take notes or screen grabs. That being said, I really did enjoy Billy Summers, and it took me almost a hundred pages to remember how this blogging thing worked. I was supposed to take notes? Dark Tower references? DePere, Wisconsin? Should I remember that for some reason? But don’t worry, it was like riding a bike. This blog is full of all the stuff you’ve come to know and love, as well as SPOILERS!!! So, if you have not finished the book yet, stop reading and come back once you’ve turned the last page.

SPOILERS!!! Consider yourselves adequately warned. 

Billy Summers doesn’t really include anything supernatural, and it’s more suspenseful and plot driven than some of Steve’s other books. In other words, it’s another great recommendation for people who don’t claim they don’t like Stephen King. 

Billy is an assassin who has mastered the art of “dumb like a fox”. 

He’s hired for a new assignment, but something seems off. Billy has been in the assassin game long enough to know when something is foul in the state of Denmark. He doesn’t trust the people who hired him, and he has the distinct impression he’s going to end up as the patsy in the end. But, he plays along as Dave Lockridge, single man and writer. He moves onto a charming street in Midwood (I kept reading this as Midworld... thanks, Steve), makes friends with all the neighbors, and beats all the neighborhood kids at Monopoly on the weekends. This part of the book was so tender, it reminded me a lot of Ted Brautigan and the kids from Hearts in Atlantis. Of all the things Billy later regrets, it’s letting these kids down, and having them trust him when he was obviously so untrustworthy. 

During the day, Billy writes  at his office in Gerald Tower. There’s always a tower, isn’t there? And this tower takes on more significance, because it’s the spot from which Billy is supposed to shoot Joel Allen. Joel is due to be transferred to Midwood, and marched up the steps of the courthouse just like in The Outsider. Constant Readers remember how well that worked out... 

Billy has an assassins creed: he only shoots bad guys. On the scale of bad guys, Joel Allen isn’t quite Ted Bundy, but he’s not Mr. Rodgers either. He had something of a “me too” moment when he accidentally mistook a feminist writer for a sex worker; and there was a gun fight outside of a poker game. It’s enough for Billy to work with. 

Billy is waiting for Joel to be transferred to the Midworld Midwood county lock-up; and he bides his time by actually doing some writing. He covers his tragic childhood (his mom worked in a laundry facility, just like Steve’s mom), and his time in the military. This is where Steve really shines. Billy’s book is written in a childish tone that just WORKS. It’s exactly what you’d expect from a simple-minded assassin. But still waters, friends. As the story goes on, Billy’s voice grows and improves. Well done, Steve, it’s like two books for the price of one.

In between writing, Billy assumes another fake identity (Dalton Smith), and secures a bolt hole to hide out in once his job is complete. Believe it or not, the murder of Joel Allen is such an insignificant part of the book. Billy successfully takes him out, and makes it to his bolt hole undetected. And this is really where the second part of the book starts. 

One rainy night, Billy hears random noises outside his apartment. He looks out the window in time to see a van full of guys dump a female body into a gutter. Billy should have just anonymously called the police... but if he had done that, we wouldn’t have a story. Instead, Billy goes full on Captain Save A Ho, and pulls the young woman from the gutter. It’s clear she had been drugged and assaulted, and she manages to puke all over Billy’s place. 

Neat. 

When Alice wakes up in the morning, she recognizes Billy from the police sketches, but promises not to rat him out for the Joel Allen murder. They form an unlikely friendship that includes watering the neighbor’s plants, watching Blacklist, and Alice reading Billy’s book. Basically, they were sheltering in place before that was even a thing; something Steve jokes about. Eventually, Billy knows he needs to get the rest of his money for the Joel Allen hit, and punish the guys who raped Alice. 

Y’all. I’m still having nightmares over the most creative use of a hand mixer I have ever read. I thought the can-opener in Lisey’s Story was bad... this was worse. But the kind of worse you feel good about, if that makes sense. 

After finding out the name of the guy behind the Joel Allen hit, killing a few bad dudes, and pissing off a bitch named Marge (fucking Marge if you’re nasty), Billy and Alice hunker down in Colorado with Billy’s assassin booking agent, Bucky. 

As soon as Billy and Alice entered Colorado and the town of Sidewinder was mentioned, I knew where we were headed. Yeah buddy, Overlook time! 

Billy takes to writing in a little shack behind Bucky’s house, and inside the shack is a Polaroid picture of the topiary animals at the Overlook. Every time Billy looks at the picture, the animals seem to have shifted. It gives him a cold sense of dread. 

There’s a certain parallel I picked up on in Colorado: Jack Torrance and Billy Summers are both haunted men running away from things. The Overlook was where Jack went to dry out, and work on his writing. He wanted to work on his marriage, and become a better father to Danny. We all know he failed spectacularly. Then, we’ve got Billy. Billy actually gets writing accomplished, and becomes an unlikely father-figure to Alice. Despite having just as much, if not more baggage than Jack, Billy doesn’t let it define him. He acknowledges it, and moves past it. It’s almost like Billy accomplishes what Jack couldn’t. And it took the Overlook burning to the ground for that to happen. 

While we’re on the topic of Billy and Alice, one of the things I love about Steve’s characters is he never forces romance where there doesn’t need to be any. While Billy acknowledges the age gap between him and Alice, nothing untoward ever happens between them. There’s obvious love, but never the romantic kind. Steve is one of the few contemporary writers to get this right. 

The story ends with Billy killing the guy behind Joel’s hit, getting shot by Marge as he leaves the crime scene (fucking Marge), Alice nursing him back to health, and getting him back to Colorado where they all live happily ever after.

I wish.

I wish I had stopped reading twenty-three pages before the book ended, because the actual end was more realistic, but heartbreaking. In reality, fucking Marge shot Billy in the stomach, and he died of an infection in the back of a Walmart parking lot. Fucking Marge indeed. But this was the way the book should have ended. Needed to end. Anything else would have been unrealistic. But damn, I hated to see Billy go out like that. 

There was one Wisconsin reference: after Billy kills Joel Allen, he’s supposed to be transferred to a safe house in De Pere. You know... where Steve lived when he was in a kid.

Other than Gerald Tower, we were also graced with “the world has moved on-” just to remind us that we all follow The Beam. 

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 49

Total Dark Tower References: 78

Book Grade: A+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

Doctor Sleep: A+

The Talisman: A+

Wizard and Glass: A+

11/22/63: A+

Mr. Mercedes: A+

Billy Summers: A+

End of Watch: A+

Under the Dome: A+

Needful Things: A+

On Writing: A+

The Green Mile: A+

Hearts in Atlantis: A+

Full Dark, No Stars: A+

The Outsider: A+

The Bazaar of Bad Dreams: A+

If It Bleeds: A+

Just After Sunset: A+

Rose Madder: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

Stephen King Goes to the Movies: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

Finders Keepers: A-

Bag of Bones: A-

Duma Key: A-

Black House: A-

The Institute: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

The Dark Tower: A-

Dolores Claiborne: A-

Blaze: B+

Hard Listening: B+

Revival: B+

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Joyland: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: B+

Wolves of the Calla: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Song of Susannah: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

Later: B+

From a Buick 8: B

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon: B

Sleeping Beauties: B-

The Colorado Kid: B-

Storm of the Century: B-

Everything’s Eventual: B-

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

The Wind Through the Keyhole: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Cell: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Desperation: C-

Insomnia: C-

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Faithful: D

Gerald’s Game: D

Roadwork: D

Lisey’s Story: D

Christine: D

Dreamcatcher: D

The Regulators: D

The Tommyknockers D

I’m not going to end this with any promises of upcoming posts. That way when I do randomly stumble on here one afternoon, it will be a delight for us all.

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights,

Rebecca

[gerrymike]

OK. commentary on my satg playlist. For reasons

lol it wont let me hyperlink but. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0w9pMZtOvP0plqdxT665q7?si=wEFnvdh3Rjaa0p2UX251mQ&dl_branch=1 Plug

1. PIEDMONT (DESTROY BOYS)

Looks like I'm late for the party Everyone knows the attire but me Glass walls separate us Catch a glimpse into different books On different shelves

i.e. teen crisis where u want desperately to live the same life as ppl on the street but also can’t imagine anything worse

2. SWEET ADELINE (ELLIOTT SMITH)

It's a picture-perfect evening and I'm staring down the sun Fully loaded, deaf and dumb and done Waiting for sedation to disconnect my head Or any situation where I'm better off than dead

i.e. she’s alive! is that worse or better. also jfc, you fucking hate hospitals

3. ALAMEDA (ELLIOTT SMITH)

You walk down Alameda  Shuffling your deck of trick cards over everyone Like some precious only son Face down, bow to the champion

also

Walk down Alameda  Brushing off the nightmares you wish Could plague me when I'm awake And now you see your first mistake  Was thinking that you could relate For one or two minutes she liked you But the fix is in

i.e. oops it’s two elliotts in a row, sorry. just. about the connection you can form with someone given just a short period of time, and how sometimes it gets ruined by, like, a werewolf. pretty similar to sweet adeline. mx weisglass gets two songs. plus “precious only son” 😬 “shuffling your deck of trick cards” 😬

4. CAN I PLAY WITH MADNESS (IRON MAIDEN)

Give me the sense to wonder To wonder if I'm free Give me a sense of wonder To know I can be me Give me the strength to hold my head up Spit back in their face

i.e. for Me mostly because i think the whiplash from elliott to maiden is kinda funny. also the gerry VS twisty animosity, in over-the-top wizardy terms. sometimes you are full of hate and that’s OK 😬 

5. ICU (PHOEBE BRIDGERS)

If you're a work of art I'm standing too close I can see the brush strokes I hate your mom I hate it when she opens her mouth It's amazing to me How much you can say When you don't know  What you're talking about

and

I'll climb through the window again But right now it feels good not to stand Then I'll leave it wide open Let the dystopian morning light pour in

i.e. we’re back in london…and, well, yeah. also, song title! we’re still in sacramento, actually, spiritually, at this point in the story

6. CRY FOR JUDAS (THE MOUNTAIN GOATS)

Feel the storm every night Hope it passes by Hallucinate a shady grove where Judas went to die Unfurl the black velvet altar cloth Draw a white chalk Baphomet Mistreat your altar boys long enough and this is what you get

i.e. crew. i think about him

7. IRIS (THE GOO GOO DOLLS)

And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your life And sooner or later, it's over I just don't wanna miss you tonight

plus

And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am

i.e. OK. OK. OK. yeah, OK. damn right all you can taste is this moment…yeah OK. SONGS5

8. KILL ALL YOUR FRIENDS (MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE)

It's been 8 bitter years since I've been seeing your face And you're walking away And I will die in this place

to

It's been 10 fucking years since I've been seeing your face round here And you're walking away And I will drown in the fear

i.e. ah…the lyrical differences in the chorus…yes…also i love how raucous this song is despite what it’s about. it’s got satg energy!!! “seeing your face”, of course, is not literal 😬

9. ENCHANTING GHOST (SUFJAN STEVENS)

Don't carry on carrying efforts, oh no, oh oh oh oh Somewhere there's a room for each of us to grow And if it pleases you to leave me, just go, oh oh oh oh Stopping you would stifle your enchanting ghost

and

Did you cut your hands on me? Are my edges sharp? Am I a pest to feed?

i.e. 😬😬😬

10. PAUL (BIG THIEF)

In the blossom of the months I was sure that I'd get driven off with thought So I swallowed all of it As I realized there was no one  Who could kiss away my shit

and PARTICULARLY

Well Paul, I know you said That you'd take me any way I came or went But I'll push you from my brain See, you're gentle baby I couldn't stay, I'd only bring you pain

i.e. HARROWING TERRITORY!!!

11. PITSELEH (ELLIOTT SMITH)

I'll tell you why I Don't wanna know where you are I gotta joke I've been dying to tell you

i.e. sorry. a lot of elliott smith on this playlist. thems the breaks

12. OPHELIA (THE LUMINEERS)

Oh, Ophelia You've been on my mind girl like a drug Oh, Ophelia Heaven help a fool who falls in love

i.e. callbacks to SONGS5…! and more pain

13. CLOUDS (BORNS)

I forget all my dreams I forget everyones name I meet I forget about time and space But I can't stop thinking 'bout your face

i.e. tfw your memory’s shit and also you just threw yourself into the sky and you’re still not over it. yowch!

14. ARCADE (DUNCAN LAWRENCE)

Oh, oh-oh-oh oh Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh All I know, all I know Loving you is a losing game

i.e. sorry i heard this song first in a c#tradora edit and i have never recovered.

15. WARS (OF MONSTERS AND MEN)

Yeah, I love you on the weekends But I'm careless and I'm wicked Yeah, I love you on the weekends It's a cruel war I still have pieces of you stuck on me Pieces of you stuck on me Yeah, I love you on the weekends It's a cruel war

i.e. PIECES OF YOU STUCK ON ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the only song of the new omam i’ve heard. i never got around to listening to it. but this one slaps

16. MONTERO (LIL NAS X)

Lookin' at the table, all I see is weed and white Baby, you livin' the life, but baby, you ain't livin' right Cocaine and drinkin' with your friends You live in the dark, boy, I cannot pretend

AND

A sign of the times every time that I speak A dime and a nine, it was mine every week What a time, an incline, God was shinin' on me Now I can't leave And now I'm actin' hella elite

AND ESPECIALLY

I want that jet lag from fuckin' and flyin'

i.e. God i love this song. re: avatarhood. YOU CAN’T LEAVE!!! not saying it’s like being a celebrity, but it’s like being a celebrity. dual perspectives here with G + his morality regarding the person he loves being, uh, evil? (you live in the dark / i cannot pretend) and M + debt he owes to his god, erosion of his own morals. also, SHEER F*CKING VIBES

17. GEYSER (MITSKI)

You're my number one You're the one I want And you've turned down Every hand that has beckoned me to come

i.e. love songs that serve double as to your god and to your lover

18. THAT’S WHAT I LIKE (BRUNO MARS)

Jump in the Cadillac (Girl, let's put some miles on it) Anything you want (Just to put a smile on it) You deserve it baby, you deserve it all

i.e. this song is here because i say so. a real “sorry it’s been seven years let me make it up to you” vibe

19. RUN AWAY WITH ME (SUFJAN STEVENS)

And I say, love Come run away with me Sweet, falling remedy Come run away with me

i.e. more grand ridiculous propositions. more to come. but they’re born out of a real frustration with the situation at hand! it sucks! also, “falling remedy”,

20. LET’S GET MARRIED (BLEACHERS)

I'm gonna get right for you, honey I'll take all of my medicine, spend you all my money, yeah I know it's hard enough to love me But I woke up in a safe house singing, "Honey, let's get married"

i.e. bro.

21. I WILL (MITSKI)

And while you sleep I'll be scared So by the time you wake I'll be brave

i.e. a lot of these here are self explanatory..

22. ME & MY DOG (BOYGENIUS)

I had a fever Until I met you Now you make me cool

also

I never said I'd be all right Just thought I could hold myself together But I couldn't breathe, I went outside Don't know why I thought it'd be any better I'm fine now, it doesn't matter

i.e. title is significant. and yeah. just. recovery’s tricky

23. I FOUND (AMBER RUN)

And I've moved further than I thought I could But I missed you more than I thought I would

i.e. this is like a staple song for like. basically. any pairing. but i’m pathetic and it gets me every time. there’s something about it. not sure if i’m going to leave it on this playlist but. hm. yeah

OK that’s a wrap. highly likely i’ll put more songs on this as i go

[qiankunfics]

KunTen Masterlist Part 2

AO3

1.  Instead of a Rivalry, Can I Have a Romance? by lilyhearted

Summary: Actually, he wouldn’t have even known there was a rivalry in the first place if Hendery hadn’t found that stupid gossip article online. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

2.  gratuitous by fldx

Summary: Ten knows he looks as shameless as he feels. There's no hesitation in the way he spreads his legs further to show off his hole, teasing himself with a single finger. Rating: Explicit  Status: One-Shot

3. Caught Up Over You by easycomeeasygo

Summary: Yukhei laughs and elbows Kun, “He’s looking at our sweet darling Kun-ge like he wants to devour him.” Rating: Mature Status: One-shot

4.  our side of the mountain by andnowforyaya

Summary: Kun and Ten sneak away in the early hours of the morning, before the crew wakes, before the other boys wake, for some quality time together. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

5. We just need to talk it out by cherrycitrus_blossom

Summary: The last thing Ten wanted was to make Kun feel like he couldn't talk to him, but why didn't Ten notice this earlier? Why did it take one comment from Johnny for Ten to realise that this friendship took more than two steps back? Rating: General Status: One-Shot

6. Flickering by violetpeche

Summary: Brushing your teeth in candlelight is not romantic. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

7.  sirens in my head by thereisnoreality

Summary: Part of murdery martrimony collection Rating: Explicit / Mature Status: One-Shot Trigger: Literally murder mentioned/implied

8.  Apple of My Eye by Lertsek

Summary: Ten wears purple lipstick. Kun likes it. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

9. we are not what we once were by johnjaemark

Summary: Ten and Kun meet again at a party thrown by their record company. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

10. breakfast meal by 10vesick

Summary: Follow-up to the Twit-fic Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

11.  Lift me up by Luonnotar

Summary: Kun just wants to go home and forget about his insufferable colleague, but a technical mishap throws a wrench into his plans Rating: General Status: One-Shot

12. One brick at a time by ForMyBabies (BooksandKpop)

Summary: Ten and Kun get into a fight and Ten is petty so while Kun is at work he covers the whole bedroom floor with legos and waits for Kun to return. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

13. Here Because of the People by eggboyksoo

Summary: Dance teacher and aspiring choreographer Ten moonlights as a cashier at a local supermarket to pay his bills. Kun happens to do his weekly shop during Ten's Monday morning shift. Both carry more baggage than most realise. Rating: Teen Status: On-Going

14.  Pineapples by subbyyang

Summary: Ten reads a very interesting article on the advantages of pineapples. He decides to check the results for himself Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

15.  Extra Practice by subbyyang

Summary: Ten and Kun get the practice room for themselves and don't waste time. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

16. It was an accident, I swear! by princessgongjunim (MyOwnCharacterInEverything)

Summary: Ten sends a wrong text to Alpha Kun.  Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot

17. we've got till noon, here comes the moon by taeyomi (buttercream)

Summary:  Ten remembers his voice saying it. He also remembers being held by him, how real everything felt. It’s true Ten’s never been in love before so he wouldn’t actually be able to compare, but he’s got an inkling Jackson’s formula wasn’t too far from it. Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot 

18. baby, fuck me with your mic on by jxmxnbabe

Summary: Kun and Ten fuck while the mic is recording Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot 

19. happy hoelloween by violetpeche

Summary: Multi-shots Rating: Explcit Status: On-going

20. messages in blood on my bathroom mirror by jinnieshyun (angelsouls)

Summary: Ten finds blood on his bathroom mirror. It's surprisingly helpful. (And the guy is hot.) Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

21.  a collection of hearts by andnowforyaya

Summary: Who does this guy think he is, walking into Ten’s shop with the most adorable kid in the universe, with hair like that, a smile so blinding it could rival the light of the sun? There has to be a catch.  Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

22.  sugar frosted fruity us by moonwalker116 (mikararinna)

Summary: Ten really likes the sugary sweet frosted cereal flakes that they sell in order to fool children into eating breakfast. Kun wasn't so fond of the cereal. But just like many of Ten's quirks and bits, Kun accepted the fact that Ten really loved those cereals. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

23.  sous-vide this love by kwonjis

Summary: “i see you’ve met ten’s new beau, not a fan of his i’m assuming?” sicheng says dryly. kun huffs and turns away, grabbing a ladle from somewhere and stirring the pot behind him vigorously. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

24.  all's well that ends well (to end up with you) by drmroses

Summary:  Kun finds himself in an urgent predicament as he gets to know Ten Rating: Teen  Status: One-Shot

25.  Make The Stars Align by easycomeeasygo

Summary:  Kun runs around Beijing looking for the cute boy in the yellow sweater. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

26. fear is just a word (heaven just a place) by rowenabane

Summary: The man’s lips flicker upwards at the words, as if Kun has just told a very funny but tasteless joke. “I know.” Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

27.  catching feelings by madhoney

Summary: “You’ve trained so much for this,” Kun said. “You don’t need anyone to take care of you. You don’t need me to take care of you.” Rating: General  Status: One-Shot

28. boy with a heart by andnowforyaya

Summary: “He won’t come out,” Guangheng says, taking his stew from Kun’s hands. “He says his stomach still hurts.” Rating: General Status: One-Shot 

29. bedtime routine by tostitos

Summary: it's just like ten to mess up kun's perfect bedtime routine of coffee and a easy-reading novel with his oral fixation. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

30. and now we are prey by lunarsoo

Summary: Serial Killer hunts down Agent Kun. Rating: Explicit / Mature Status: One-shot

31. and now we are prey by lunarsoo

Summary: The more Kun knows Ten, the more he realizes he doesn’t know much about him at all. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

32. love the way you're talking to me by 10vesick

Summary: Ten seemingly doesn’t understand what Kun is saying.  Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

33. you could be the king but watch the queen conquer by thereisnoreality

Summary: Part of murdery martrimony Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

34.  2054 by pinkwinwin

Summary: He was designed this way, after all. Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot

35. it’s been a long, long time. by RedamancyEffect

Summary: Kun couldn’t help but notice how Ten treated him differently since he presented. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

36. 何以歌 (a song with no name) by sayounarahitori

Summary: Kun writes music and waits for Ten. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

37. To The Prettiest Boy in School by Alette

Summary: *Main pairing is Xiaodery but KunTen is cute here too.  Rating: General Status: One-Shot

38. Are They Together or Not? by NovemberSuns

Summary: No one seems to know exactly what Kun and Ten’s relationship is. Yangyang is determined to find out. Rating: Teen  Status: One-shot

39. Coming Home by bInTheMoon

Summary:  Ten, a modern witch, finds himself in the past and get help of Qian Kun, the handsome vampire who is going to show him what home feels like. Rating: Mature Status: One-Shot

40. A Kiss in Your Body by akaashigf

Summary: Kun was managing his crush and relationship with Ten well until one day, he mysteriously woke up in his body. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

41. Is This Your Card? by Kill3rWhal3D1ck

Summary: Ten thinks Kun is pretty cool in his own weird way and wishes everyone would just let him live. Rating: Teen Status: Completed *Part of NCT WayV Hogwarts AU

42.  I'm Not Coming up for Air by zosma

Summary: When Ten can't pull the threads of privacy, of identity and control, away from the performance of his daily life, Kun helps him come down in the one place that's truly private-- the shower. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

43. What Happened at Yuta’s Party? by NovemberSuns

Summary: From Taeyong getting wasted and Doyoung crying about Jeno growing up to Kun and Ten staring at each other across the room, everyone has something to remember about this particular party. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot 

44. hold on, hold tight by rainingover

Summary: Except now he's got these intermittent stomach aches and he's started to feel guilty about every other thought he has. Mainly the ones about Ten. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

45. i am a lion, i am a queen by kuntenjohnil

Summary: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul turning into a female: Double the trouble. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

46. Cold Coffee by sunsetude

Summary: Kun’s exhausted, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Rating: Teen Status: One-Shot

47. Missing You by starryeyed (kaylie153)

Summary: Ten doesn't get a lot of alone time anymore on tour with SuperM. So he takes the chances he can get to call his closest friend and confidante in private. Rating: General Status: One-Shot

48. togetherness by andnowforyaya

Summary: After six years, Ten still acted like Baba was the coolest thing since people landed on the moon. Rating: General  Status: One-Shot

49. Kun's Out Of Body Sexting Experience by sayounarahitori

Summary: Ten won't stop sending Kun photos. It… escalates. Rating: Explicit Status: One-Shot

50.  for real by 10vesick

Summary:Ten and Kun had been building this marriage way before either of them had even proposed. Rating: General  Status: One-Shot

[whirlybirdwhat]

crown the king (with bloody flowers) - 8

Hanahaki au drabble series, in which Luffy is in love with the sea. Ao3 Links in reblog

Chapter 8 - roses and plum flowers - ace

Ace didn’t expect to see Luffy in Alabasta - didn’t expect to see him at all, because Luffy was supposed to be at home at Dawn for the next three years.

Instead, a newspaper flutters down from a News Coo that morning, heralding the bounty of Monkey D. Luffy, and Ace burst into flames.

(Ace used to love the Sea - really, he did. It wasn’t a love like Luffy’s but it was a love all the same, and looking back, maybe it was freedom he loved more than anything else. The chance for an answer, hanging over the horizon.

Then, he met Luffy, who choked on his own breath and smiled so brightly at the thing that hated him, and Ace found he really didn’t care that much for the sea after all.

Because Ace? Ace didn’t love much. He loved Luffy, and Sabo, and his mother, and Makino and though he would never admit it, Gramps and the bandits too. The rest of the world hated him and yet - no flowers ever bloomed in his lungs.

Ace was always loved back. Luffy wasn’t.

And it hurt.)

Deuce had to calm him down, slap him over the head, yell at him, before Ace started making any sense again. When he did, they set out for the next island on the log pose immediately.

They couldn’t go back. Ace was the captain, the star rookie (though Luffy had a starter bounty higher than him what the fuck did he do), and he would not let his crew’s dreams die just because Luffy was an idiot.

So they went forward and arrived in Alabasta after being swept off course by a storm so horrific even the Grand Line residents of the Spades were in awe of it.

(Privately, later, Ace remembers a secret about a dragon, and knows it wasn’t really a storm at all.

Or at least, not one made of cloud and thunder, but flesh and bone and the letter D.)

In Alabasta, the same day he saw the wanted poster with rage still coursing through his veins at the stupidity of his little brother, Ace sees Luffy, unexpectedly, and out of the blue.

Laughing, bright and joyous, and choking in the same breath.

Just the same as when Ace left Dawn, with maybe fuller cheeks and more seaswept hair. Fourteen, and so stupid.

Ace saves him from the Marine, and doesn’t quite shake him in the next moment but its a close thing.

“Luffy!” Ace growls.

“Ace!” Luffy cheers.

And well, that is that before Ace slings Luffy over his shoulder as a volley of bullets follow in their wake.

“What the hell are you doing out here, you idiot? Seventeen! We promised!”

“Shishishi!” Luffy laughs, a few bright orange petals drifting out from the hand covering his mouth. “I couldn’t wait!”

Ace snorts at that. “It’s been five months Luffy. Did you even set off at your birthday?”

“Yep! Snuck out too! I stole Old Man Johnson’s boat, shishishi!”

(Ace remembers Garp walking up to the bandit hut with whining brat with blood on his cheek. Luffy, he had introduced the kid to Dadan. Take care of him for me! Keep him away from the water.

The rest of them had thought it was because of his devil fruit. It wasn’t till Makino visited and explained Luffy’s love, the way he looked out to the horizon and its foamy waters, that they understood.

They didn’t like to let him out after that.

Why accelerate his death, after all.)

Ace snorts again, a familiar smile creeping its way across his face at his brother’s antics. “Yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“Do you even have a crew?” It’s a good question to ask. Luffy is nothing but a miracle worker, even as blood drips from the petals in his mouth. He would be able to make it too the Grand Line on sheer luck, but…

“Of course!” Luffy knows the importance of a good crew. “And a ship! And a duck! And a princess and - “

Ace finally laughs, fullheartedly, at his little brother, because Luffy isn’t dying as he thought, isn’t rushing out to sea in a panic because the last sets of Hanahaki are setting in and -

Maybe the sea might be killing his little brother a little bit more every time he touches sea stone or dips his toes in saltwater but -

Luffy is alive. And both of them will live without regrets.

If Luffy doesn’t regret setting out to sea and letting flowers rot in his chest like an omen of death, then Ace cannot regret it either.

Ace rarely loves, but he has always been loved back.

Luffy loves so much yet it kills him, day by day.

Ace holds his brother in his arms (for the last time? He hopes not) and hands him his vivre card.

“If you need to find me,” he says, “We’ll meet at the pirate’s summit!”

The top - when both of them are big names with bigger bounties, sometime in the future.

Luffy broke one promise to Ace and left early.

Ace will make sure he doesn’t die before he breaks another.

(Don’t be stupid, Ace had told Luffy on that cliffside so long ago. I won’t die. Promise.

Luffy didn’t promise him back, but he said he would be King.

Ace ignores the part about or die trying, and clings to the hope that Luffy will live.)

He leaves Alabasta with bloody roses and plum tree flowers and sand crushed underneath his shoes.

He doesn’t talk about it.

---

Roses (in general): Love, beauty, worthiness

Plum Tree Flowers: 'keep your promises'

[leglesstv]

THE DARK DAYS BACK– 2021

 I have been struggling with how to start this piece. I guess I should tell you a little about myself.

What I do for a living is not who I am, yeah, I get to blow shit up and its super fun but it’s not what defines me.

I have been a water baby all my life from growing up on the beach to commercial diver.

The ocean or the ocean’s rhythm ebbs and flows within me.

Surfing has been the biggest part of my life for longer than I care to remember. For sure I have been out the water for extended periods before while working on projects overseas. Always with the knowledge that I will be getting wet again, sometime soon. I have never before been concerned that surfing will not be an option. I have always just figured I would surf till the day I die.

 October 2019 we were still basking in the glory of a once in a lifetime trip to the Ments. 10 Kneelos on a boat sailing around the Mentawai’s. Absolutely what dreams are made of. Red, Giggs, Lester, Larry, Craig, Steve, Johan, Andrew and myself. Jason the skipper of Switchfoot made it 10 chargers in total.

We had also had a run of solid swell at the local, which for me was all time as my new Kneeon that Nick had shaped for me had arrived. Nick and I had chatted over the phone, had a few video calls and bam!! this magic carpet arrives. Oh my sack, I have never been happier with a stick. My surfing went up in leaps and bounds. Never been happier in my life.

 Around this time, I started to get pains in my left hip which radiated down the leg. Initially it wasn’t too bad but it got progressively worse. It got to a stage where I literally couldn’t walk anymore. Thinking it’s got to be the hip, off I went to the hip specialist. Had some photos taken of the hip, back to the clever guy’s office and this is where things started to go south.

Mate, as hips go, yours look beautiful but I recommend you go see a neurosurgeon.

Your spine doesn’t look good at all.

You can imagine, I’m thinking “what the fuck, are you sure you’re looking at the right X-rays.”

So, at least by this time I was on crutches to help me get around and waddled off to see Dave. Dave is a neurosurgeon that had done some work on my spine before.

Same sort of story, pain in my shoulder, radiating down my right arm.

True as nuts, I had gone to the shoulder clever guy who had told me exactly what the hip guy had just told me. Anyway, a long story short, Dave did a decompression on the C7 and T1 vertebrae.

I was booked on a boat trip to the Maldives with my good mate Guy. He is a stand up but I love him anyway. I manage to get on the plane without really having tested the neck or having had time for rehab of any sorts. Probably not my brightest move. We had solid swell the whole trip, but truth be told, I was in constant pain.

Once back in SA, I was off to see Dave again. X-rays and CT scans followed, and Dave said unfortunately we going to have to fuse the C7 and T1 but we will go in through the front this time.

Absolutely no problems whatsoever and I was back in the water 3 months later.

Dave, howzit I’m back. More scans and X-rays (starting to know everyone by their first names by now) followed. Yip, pretty much the same story, crumbling, degeneration of the spine.

I was booked in for a decompression on the L4 and L5. The procedure was pretty standard and uneventful. Unfortunately, just as with the neck, the decompression was not successful. A week later, I was booked in for a multistage fusion, L4, L5 and S1.

So, they going to open me up again along the same incision line, not feeling great about that but hey, there are worse things in life. Waking up from this op was a rude awakening. Fuck me this shit hurts. Trying to move was pretty tender for sure. Anyhow the drugs did their thing and a few days later I was able to get out of bed and lose the dreaded catheter. Walking was fair interesting to say the least, I had to laugh at myself as I looked like a mummy.

Little shuffles with my hands out front but hey, I was mobile. The day they let me out rolled around. Crap balls I felt like shit and was fair tender. It felt like someone was taking a mallet to my head.

I remember battling to get into the wheelchair to get me to the car. The nausea was just incredible, I thought I was going to throw up all over the place. Between the porter and Jo (my wife) they managed to get me into the car.

The ride home is not too far but I was deteriorating at a rapid rate of knots. Got home, Jo managed to get me onto her “throne” where I just passed out.

Through the rest of the day and night I remember fleeting moments of being awake. Couldn’t move, didn’t know what was going on. Basically, a vegetable on the couch.

The next morning Jo realized that this wasn’t good. Somehow or other she managed to bundle me into the car. I have a memory of the gardener holding the car door open with a look of concern on his face. The next thing I was on a gurney at the hospital with Debbie staring at me. Debbie is Jo’s business partner and one of my best friends.

Tests and more tests.

Somehow or other I had picked up Bacterial Meningitis.

Jo had literally just saved my life. A few hours later and it wouldn’t have turned out well.

Some serious antibiotics and medication I can’t even pronounce later, my infection levels started coming down, but the headaches wouldn’t go away. Back into the noisy tube for some more scans. Was good to see all the guys and gals in radiology again.

Crap balls I had a rupture in the thecal sac. Basically, it’s a sac that runs up your spine and over the brain. The sac contains cerebrospinal fluid. When leaking the sac “collapses” on the brain causing insane headaches, headaches that are just next level. Think migraine on steroids.

Back into theatre to patch up the leak.

Once again, they opened me up on the same incision. Success at last, once again freedom day arrived and was bundled into the wheelchair again and back into the car.

Was great to be home with the animals for sure. Jo had made a bed for me in the lounge as walking at this point just really wasn’t an option. To say I was tender would be a bit of an understatement.

A day later, I got this incredible pain down my left leg. Kinda like being hit with a cattle prodder. I remember screaming as the first one hit. Absolute agony, pain like I had never felt. It would last for about 30 seconds but in that time, I couldn’t move a finger for fear of escalating the pain. I just screamed and screamed. Over the next two days, it got worse and more frequent.

This was an incredible low point. I remember crying like a baby. I was emotionally drained by this time. I remember thinking I just want to be normal again. Remember, I can hardly walk, can’t even get down on the toilet to take a dump. I hadn’t had a shit for as long as I can remember.

My wife was washing me and dressing me. It was taking its toll.

This carried on for two days until it got to a point where I just couldn’t move.

An ambulance and crew had to come and peel me off the couch eventually. They dosed me up, got a stretcher underneath me and carried me out to the ambulance.

Jesus, what the fuck!! But hey, could be worse…right?

Back to my favorite people with the noisy machine. Hi everyone, true as nuts I’m back. Another scan revealed that the crushed bone material that they place between your vertebrae was leaking out and catching the nerve going down my leg.

Another twirl in theatre to clean up the debris, by this time the clock on the wall and I were good friends. I used to watch the seconds tick by as the anesthetic started kicking in. I woke up from here being wheeled into high care. Now I have to tell you this was by far my worst experience.

The following morning two nurses came to wash me. I was in absolute agony and they kept moving me and turning me. I was screaming in absolute agony, but they wouldn’t stop and no-one came to help me. To this day I can’t understand it.

Couldn’t wait to get out of there and back on to a ward. Or so I thought…

From there they wheeled me into an isolation ward. Apparently, I had picked up the dreaded hospital Super bug. My infection count was in the 400’s (8 being normal) and to make matters worse, the headaches were back. I had sprung another fucking leak in my Thecal sack. FUCK!!!

Back to my old friend on the wall with the ticking second hand. Again, opening me up on the same line. This time I wasn’t friends with the clock on the wall.

Dave patched me up as best they could.

What the actual…

My new home turned out to be a glass box in the ICU. In isolation in intensive care. Jesus, this isn’t good.

Nurse and doctors were putting gear on to come into the glass box. “What’s going on???”

Machines were everywhere beeping and hissing. “Fuck me, this isn’t good.”

Waking up at 4am with people sticking needles into you to draw blood loses its shine after a while. I think all I ate for the two weeks was watermelon in the morning that Debbie used to bring me with a cup of coffee. When I say bring, I really mean bribe the porter.

 Now you must remember I have basically been bedridden for 6 weeks and not had an appetite at all.

I could see the concern on peoples face when they came to visit, as much as they tried to hide it, it was there.

Nights were the worst and the tears used to flow. So as not to let the pressure in the Thecal sac become too great, they drained it every few hours. This as I’ve said to you before brings on insane headaches.

Morphine and I were no longer friends. It made me incredibly sad and depressed.

I came off the morphine by choice and gritted the teeth. Absolutely worth the pain.

 Lester and Marco organized a live feed for me for the warmup session before the SA Kneeboarding Champs. What legends.

Once again, I cried like a baby, but these were tears of joy. It was so good to watch my mates surfing and everyone saying “hi” on the feed made me feel like a million bucks. The brotherhood is strong here in Cape Town. Love these boys.

 At this point I was literally skin and bone, but my infection levels were coming down and I had managed to get out of bed and make the few steps to the toilet. The sun was definitely coming up for me. For the first time in a long time, I thought I was going to make it.

Fuck, the thought of dying in that glass box haunted me every night there.

Freedom day was like no other. Getting out of there into the sunshine and colors and breeze was a sensory overload, but hey, I was out and feeling good…ish.

 My mates, Debbie and Sian had kept me going. Sian is my office manager and best friend.

She tried to feed me all the way through to no avail, true as nuts she used to arrive with bags of food.

 God it was good to be home.

Reality starts to kick in pretty quickly. Fuck me am I ever going to be able to surf again, am I ever going to be able to sit on the toilet again (it’s the little things hahaha…)

Time to reset the mind from “fuck me, I don’t want to die in here to I need to get in the water again”.

 Enter the amazing Lara, the physio that is a gift from the angels. I remember that late December day shuffling and shaking my way into her office. By this time, all my muscles had wasted away and just holding my frame up was as much as I could muster. I could do about 2 minutes before all my muscles started shaking from fatigue and I was still shuffling like a mummy.

The question Lara asked me off the bat was “what do you want to get out of this.”

“Just get me back in the water please,” was my response.

At this point it was a fantasy I had to believe in, physically I was a mess, but I think mentally I was scarred and the mental trauma was real. But fuck it, if I could survive that, I can achieve anything. The will to get back in the water was incredible and became all consuming.

 Walking around the house became my exercise routine initially and braai tongs my best friend (in case I dropped stuff as bending was not an option). I had to hold on to everything at first as I walked along, eventually I could skip the kitchen counter on the way to the TV room and skip the chairs on the way to my room, and so it went on until I could just about walk the whole house without holding or resting.

 Lara had given me gentle low impact stuff to do, just to tone the muscles and stretches to get some life back in the buggers. Everything hurt. This was a continuous process that I did all day every day for a few weeks. I was starting to feel more stable on my feet which did wonders for my mental wellbeing. Progress was gradual but I started noticing results which made me feel like a million dollars.

 Getting behind the wheel again was a massive boost for me. My buddy Kante who is a running coach, walked with me from my local to St James, what a joy being next to the ocean again, mind surfing every bump that came through. I steadily built this up over time. Eventually I could make it to Muizenberg and back (5 kms). Everything ached at this point and the thought of shortening every walk was ever present. 4am wake ups every day can be a challenge and for sure there were mornings I couldn’t bear the thought of getting up. Sore back, sore hips, it’s dark and it’s cold, fuck this shit. On the odd occasion that I didn’t manage to get going, that feeling of worthlessness would set in. What the fuck is wrong with you, don’t you want to get back in the water? That’s not a cool feeling. I have probably missed 3 days in the six months I have been rehabbing. A 45-minute 5km walk followed by an hour of rehab back at home. I can’t begin to count the many lonely hours I have spent in the dark, walking and processing thoughts and priorities.

 My weekly visits to Lara are always a highlight. My flexibility is measured as well as my strength. Some weeks just like some days are better than others. Lately there are a few moments of some days that I am totally pain free. These can quickly be followed by days and moments of crappy pain, but I will take the good ones for sure. Setbacks some and it’s natural to be bummed by them. Thinking “end goal” always helps. Watching Billy Kemper’s story after that crazy injury in Morocco has inspired me tremendously and there is a kinship that forms in adversity.

To keep the spirits up, I have ordered me a new board from Nick (Kneeon) which should arrive any day.

Jedd has also shaped me a 5’4 twinny that looks more like something that should be flying in space rather than the water. Can’t wait to get these beauties wet.

 The daily grind continues relentlessly and it’s not always easy to appreciate the reasons for the dark hours one spends with oneself on the rehab trail. I want the prize now. Sheesh, it’s a constant battle upstairs. Here’s the weird thing, the closer I get to the end of April (paddle out day…hopefully), the more fearful I become. Will I be able to, and can I still?

All this and more just keeps swimming in the head and there’s the self-doubt.

Fuck it’s terrifying.

I have gone over it a million times in my head, do I just paddle out at a gentle beach break and see how it goes. Na, that scares me more. Soft waves are hard work and the amount of torque on the spine terrifies me. What if the nuts and bolts pop out?

There is no way in hell I am going back to that building with the big red cross on it. This drives me harder for sure back on the road, back to the floor and core exercises.

Lara assures me the hyperextension of the back I have obtained through this time will definitely be fine for paddling.

The torque and pressure on the lower back coming off the bottom and turning off the top, is what scares the crap out of me. The reef and I are intimate, god knows I have bounced and scraped along her so many times. I have certainly paid my dues.  

Wiping out doesn’t scare me, it’s that word again “TORQUE”.

Perhaps I will just go straight on the first few. That in itself presents a bit of a problem at the local, but that’s where my head is.

I know you will all understand this, “what if a section just presents itself, just asking to be slapped”.

It is so ingrained in each and every one of us, that muscle memory just takes over. Going to have to be ever vigilant.

I have swum out to the peak just to be out there with the guys. The first time was not great. It took me so long just to get to the water. Jumping off the railway line so not an option. Doing the walk around and trying to get over the rocks was tricky to say the least.

Feeling the water over my feet was an absolute delight, but crap balls, had the water got colder since the last time? As soon as I laid in the water, it dawned on me that this is going to be quite the journey.

I couldn’t swim on my stomach as the pain was intense, but fuck it, I was going out. I swam on my side and back. Eventually I made it, the guys cheered and whooped, I felt like I had just won the lottery.

It was so good to be part of the conversation out there again, it was so good to hear how stoked the guys were for me, life was good.

I fed off this like I had been starved of life for ages.

 Today being the Saturday before the Wednesday that I go back to Dave (the surgeon), brings turmoil to my emotions.

I’m not sure what I am scared of more, being told you aren’t ready or yeah, go get in the water. I am so scared of not surfing to my full potential again. Every day closer brings more panic. I just want it to be over now.

 Wednesday morning dawned (but not really), up at 4am and back on the road. Usually, I am thinking about the workday ahead but this morning not so much.

My head is swimming with what ifs. What if there is still something wrong, what if I can’t anymore, what if, what if…

On the drive to see Dave, the surgeon, my heart is beating at a million beats/minute.

It’s good to see Dave again in a weird type of way, he really is a very cool guy.

Anyhow, he sends me off for some more pictures of the spine. Gotta say I was staring at the radiologist for some clues, but nothing.

The stress is killing me, and I feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest.

So, back up to Dave with the thumping heart, I can hear it in my ears.

It all looks brilliant mate. What… I could not believe what I was hearing. He took me through the X-rays explaining what he was looking for and everything was just right.

There’s no use putting off the inevitable he says to me, go get in the water…but don’t be stupid. I wanted to scream it to the world!

Obviously, the doubts started kicking in hard right about now, but hey, I had gotten the green light.

Thursday morning I was off to Lara for physio. I couldn’t wait to tell her the good news. The muscles on the left side of my back had been in spasm for two weeks now, so as thrilled as she was, there was the don’t be stupid again.

I had coached myself in my mind for months now, high tide, small waves and just go straight…right.

 Friday morning and the reports started coming in. There’s a bit of a wave at the local.

“It’s go time.” With my heart in my mouth, I started packing the car.

Sweet Lord, it had been a while, I had to keep double checking I had everything packed.

I don’t think I noticed any other cars on the way, I was mind surfing all the way through to the local.

I got there a few hours before the high just to get my head straight and check the lineup.

There were some chunky 4 footers coming through, but I wanted some more water on the rock. I watched my mate Dave paddle out and get some screamers.

Steve finally arrived, “I thought you would be in your suit already” he says.

This is it, heart in the throat again, off we went.

Sheesh it was so good to feel the waves crashing over my feet and legs again.

Jumped on my board and started paddling.

Woooohoooo absolutely no pain. Got out to the takeoff zone and everyone was cheering and welcoming me back. How humbling.

Mickey Duffus, a local big wave legend was out. Everybody back off he bellowed, this man hasn’t surfed for 6 months.

For some reason, this made me relax and just enjoy the moment.

Something started standing up out the back, Steve was sitting in the channel waiting for me to have my first ride.

“You going Mick?” I heard someone ask.

Yip I heard coming out my mouth, I spun and went.

Muscle memory and familiarity with the wave kicked in. I made the drop…Fuck I couldn’t believe it came around the section and just flopped off my board.

Steve and Dave had the biggest smile on their faces. The emotion of the occasion just swept over me like a wave, and the tears started flowing. All I kept thinking about was lying in ICU thinking fuck, I don’t want to die in here to taking off on the first wave.

Well, for the rest of the session, I absolutely sent it, trying to take off as deep as possible on the gnarliest set waves. All the coaching I had done in my head for the last few months went straight out the window.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

 Damn, I felt so alive, without a doubt, the happiest man on the planet. When I got back to the car park, all of the Kneelo crew were in the car park and boy were they happy for me.

Sean Thompson was there too, shooting my waves and recording the moment.

How blessed am I. Nothing was getting the smile off my face.

 When I lay in bed that night, I kept thinking of the months of rehab and hard work I had gone through. The many lonely dark hours of the mornings, but I had done it.

 The next morning, we were on it at first light with the Westside boys coming through as well. The Kneelo brotherhood in Cape Town is tight. I am so humbled by all the good wishes and thoughts from everyone.

Just want to mention Lester, who kept me sane in the last two months. We chatted every day for the last while, sometimes a few times in a day. He kept me motivated and hungry and for this I will be forever grateful.

There are so many people to thank for getting me through this period. I think you know who you are, and I will get to everyone individually.

It’s good to get wet again.

I started writing this piece to help anyone in similar circumstances.

Stick with your plan and give it everything no matter how hopeless your situation may seem.

At the end of the day this was such a therapeutic exercise for me. Something I didn’t expect.

The trauma was and is real and this has certainly helped me face it and deal with it.

If this helps even one person get over and through a rough period of hopelessness, its job done.

Mickey Kirsten

Legless Contributor

SA Kneelos

[babbushka]

Each Eye (2/8)

Kylo was the most feared boss in the entirety of New York City. They said that the crime families were no more, that they had disappeared with the end of an era. You knew it wasn’t true, you saw first hand. The families didn’t disappear, they simply went underground, adapted.

Lucky for you, your man, and your family, no one could ever get rid of crime. Not really.

Mob Boss!Kylo x Reader 

Word count: 9.6k Warnings: Gun violence, graphic violence, organized crime, blood, language, nsfw (explicit sexual content yeehaw baby lol)

                                             ------------------------------

He woke up before you, as he always did.

Kylo tended to sleep like an octopus, all long limbs thrown about. Always a hand on you somewhere, if not completely wrapped around you. You’d be fucked if you ever woke up before him, those arms of his had a habit of tightening around you subconsciously when you tried to pull away to get up so you could use the bathroom or even just to stretch.

But he woke up before you, kissed you awake like he always did.

You smiled against his lips, let yourself be kissed sweetly.

The two of you were laying on your sides, facing one another under the covers. It was so warm, warm and safe in your grand penthouse that overlooked the city. He kissed you and you slid your arms around him, encouraging him to glue himself to you.

“Morning.” He said, that baritone pressing into your skin in a way that turned you to jelly.

You didn’t have to look at the clock to know it was exactly five a.m., the same time he woke you up every day. He didn’t like to be up by himself for too long.

“Morning.” You smiled back, easing the sleep out of your body with soft grunts as you stretched your calves and rolled your shoulders.

“Can I?” Kylo asked, and you kissed him.

“Come here.” You replied, rolling over onto your back and parting your thighs.

In the soft light of the moon, not yet dawn, you swore you saw a little smile grace his lips.

Languorously, Kylo fucked you. He always woke up hard, it was sweet how he craved you so much, even in sleep he was desperate for you. But ever the gentleman he asked, wanted to make sure you wanted it, wanted him. If you ever said no, he’d take care of himself on his own – not that you said no very often.

It was a wonderful way to wake up, and sometimes you wish he’d fuck you awake instead of just kiss you, wake you with an orgasm, but he was too polite, even after all this time.

You and Kylo had been married for three entire years, would be three years on the dot tomorrow, but you’d known him your whole life.

You’d loved him just as long.

“(Y/N)…” He said your name over and over again, like it was a prayer dripping from his lips, like he wasn’t sure if this was real or just another one of his dreams. He’s generally quiet when he fucks you like this, when you let him be on top, when you let him have some semblance of control.

You’re always the one in charge, despite what people think, but it’s nice to let him do what he wants sometimes. You’ll drag moans out of him later, when you know he’ll need it.

You moaned and clutched at his back, kissed and sucked marks onto his neck as that cock of his worked into you. It was real, you wanted him to know it was real. You let your nails dig into the meat of his shoulder, the slight sting of it enough to ground him.

It wasn’t fast or rough, not this early, but it was more than enough to make your toes curl and your eyes clamp shut, the sound of his heavy breathing and the feeling of him atop you so fully making you feel so completely surrounded and overwhelmed.

“Kylo, I’m gonna – ” You started and he nodded, cut you off with a kiss.

“Go ahead, I’m right – I’m right there.” He drooled into your mouth just a little, and if you didn’t love him so much you’d probably think it was gross, but very little about Kylo grossed you out, not really.

You came at the same time, his hips coming to a stop and he grunted as he shot his load deep inside you. You’d been trying, finally decided to start trying, and Kylo was hooked on the idea of it, so he kept himself buried inside you even as he started kissing the sweat from your face. You shifted your hips a little to get more comfortable, and he moved with you.

The light of pre-dawn started to filter through the blue of night, and you pet back his hair behind his ears as he kept kissing your skin.

“Busy day today?” You asked, not wanting to rush him, just wanting to know what was on the agenda for the day.

Saturdays were usually packed with visits to family and friends alike, Kylo had no real concept of weekend rest. The rest of the family kept the Sabbath, so no one was out and about, meaning if anything wanted to get done, Kylo had to do it. Sometimes you wished he would just relax with you for a little bit, but he gets antsy if he’s not doing something for too long.

Always has to be doing something, your man.

He did all his own scheduling, unlike some of the other families who had a right-hand or a secretary do it for them. Kylo loved and trusted his people, but like everything else, he was very much of the belief that if you wanted something done right, you had to do it yourself.

You had your calendars on your phone synched up, but it didn’t really matter because you weren’t ever away from him long enough to need to check.

“Yeah.” He said with a content sigh, finally pulling out of you with a bit of a wince from the oversensitivity. You knew if he could get away with staying inside you forever, he would.  “I want to go visit everyone. And visit Midtown.”

A busy day indeed then, you thought.

“You think it’s a good idea going down there before talking to Rey?” You asked, kissed and nipped at the strong muscle of his shoulder.

“If she’s doing her job, she’ll already be down there and we can talk to her then.” He rolled his eyes, making you grin and bite a little harder at his sass.

Kylo liked to be hands-on, never some mysterious man in the shadows. He wanted the people who liked him to know who they liked, and the people who hated him to know who they hated.

Not a lot of people hated Kylo, but enough.  

“Should I start breakfast?” You asked, but he frowned and buried his face in your neck, licked his tongue along your pulse, always so clingy.

Your arms held him tight, and he sighed again, but this time with contentment.

“Mmm, just stay here with me for a little bit first?” His muffled words tingled your neck, making you smile.

Getting Kylo out of bed was a lot harder than it really needed to be. He was incredibly difficult to get into bed, but once he was in he never wanted to leave. He once kept you in bed for three days straight, had Six bring up food and drink for you. You only ever took breaks to use the bathroom before it was right back to rolling around in the sheets.

It wasn’t always sex, either. Most of the time he liked just being close to you, collecting you against his chest as you watched a movie or whatever you had put on the Netflix list. Sometimes the two of you sat up in bed and played cards, sometimes you just talked, sometimes you wrestled.

He always let you win, bless him.

“Can we at least go to the bathroom first?” You asked, your bladder finally catching up to the rest of you.

“If we have to.” Kylo groaned, ever the one for dramatics, and you laughed as the sun started peeking its way over the skyline.

“We do.” You nudged him, laughed as he let himself turn into dead weight as you struggled to push him off the mattress.

                                              ------------------------------

An hour later you finally convinced him to get out of bed for the day. As much as you loved your bedroom, your favorite spot in the house was downstairs, was the outrageously large living room. With windows spanning the entire wall, you had a perfect view of the Chrysler building as you ate your breakfast, surrounded by the soft muted greys of the furnishings.

Breakfast was eaten on the couch, the dishes left in the sink of the kitchen to be dealt with later. Against Kylo’s insistence, you did the dishes as opposed to the cleaning crew that came in every week. You figured they had enough to do with the five thousand square-foot two-story apartment as it was, plus sometimes it was fun to pretend you were a normal housewife.

You were anything but, but it was fun to pretend every once in a while.

Kylo drank an entire pot of coffee all on his own, black and bitter. You had a cup or two yourself, mostly cream and sugar, and you each made fun of each other’s preferences in that way that only you could.

The shower was quick and efficient, Kylo hated showering in the morning, preferred to do it at night to unwind. You showered together, because of course you did, you did everything together.

“Which black suit are we wearing today?” You asked with a teasing hum once you both had dried off and were standing in his closet.

You were already dressed, already knew what you wanted to wear. A simple navy velvet number, one that’d look good with your hair and coloring. You wished more people wore navy, it was such a flattering shade of blue.

Kylo ought to wear navy every once in a while, you thought with a big grin that he caught and rolled his eyes.  

“Keep teasing me and I’m not taking you to Paris.” He grumbled. Looked like he was still waiting for the coffee to kick in, such a grump. You loved him.

“You wouldn’t dare.” You scoffed, reaching into one of the drawers and pulling out a nice set of cufflinks to fasten to his button down.

They were a pair you had bought him for your one year anniversary, beautiful garnet ovals that were his exact favorite shade of red.

“Try me.” He swooped down for a kiss as you fixed his cuffs and straightened his tie, matching red satin.

“You’re feisty today.” You tugged on his tie with a great big smile, and you swore you saw a hint of a blush on his cheeks.

“Can’t help it, you’ve rubbed off on me these three years.” He was always so reserved, everything he said was always so quiet, even when it was playful or humorous. It was one of the things you had grown to appreciate the most about him, the way his eyes sparkled with mirth whenever he was in a good mood.

“Only the three?” You playfully frowned, and he kissed it off your lips, making you laugh.

“Let’s go you terror, before I throw you back in bed.” He said with a pinch to your ass, making you swat his arm.

He caught it and wrapped it around him, the two of you leaving the penthouse side by side.

                                              ------------------------------

Since it was Saturday and no one in your family was working, Kylo got to drive.

Owning too many cars didn’t make sense, living in the city and all. It was far easier to be driven, but Dopheld and Thanisson were being good Jewish boys and spending the day with their mothers, so Kylo got to be the one to weave in and out of traffic.  

He drove with his hand on your thigh, only taking it off to give assholes on the road the middle finger.

The first stop on the list was the deli, Katz’s in the Lower East Side.

It was a historic building, always busy, and today was no exception. In fact, because it was Saturday morning, it was probably even more busy than usual, so you and Kylo made your way through the back entrance, not wanting to draw too much attention walking in the front.

“Kylo! (Y/N)! My god, what a pleasant surprise!” Richard Cohen, the current owner of the delicatessen spotted you happily as you closed the door behind you.

“Hi Mr. Cohen, how are you today?” You grinned, leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Terrific, absolutely terrific I gotta admit. All thanks to you two no less.” Richard had always been a very upbeat guy, it tended to make you chuckle to yourself seeing stoic Kylo next to such an energetic and all over the place kind of guy. “Did you happen to get the gift I sent you?”

“We did, it was very kind, thank you.” Kylo nodded.

Gifts had been getting delivered to the apartment for the past week, all from various people who wanted to stay in Kylo’s good graces, and genuinely send congratulations to the two of you.

Richard had sent gorgeous bouquets of flowers, a dozen of them, populated with all of your favorite kinds of florals. Kylo had sat back while you instructed the delivery men to place all the giant bouquets around, and you smiled at the flowers every chance you got.

“Well a little birdie told me that it was a certain someone’s anniversary soon so I couldn’t not send something.” Richard winked, making you grin.

“Mr. Cohen you are positively the sweetest.” You raised an eyebrow, “How’d you know?”

“A butcher knows everything, Mrs. Ren.” Richard said.

“If that’s so then why don’t you come work for us?” Kylo joked, earning him a pleased squeeze of the hand from you.

“If I weren’t an old man, you bet I would.” Richard said with such conviction that you both believed him.

“Have there been any problems, any at all?” Kylo asked sincerely, not unkindly.

“No Mr. Ren! Believe me, I wouldn’t keep something like that from you.” Richard said, shaking his head vehemently. “No, thanks to you we’ve not been having any issues whatsoever.”

“Alright, but you’ll let me know?” Kylo insisted, and Richard nodded.

“Of course I will – here have a bite to eat, hm?” He offered, walking towards the kitchen.

“Mr. Cohen I’m sorry but we’ve already eaten.” You explained, making Richard pause.

“Take some to go for lunch then.” He said with a big smile, and you graciously accepted the sub sandwiches he wrapped in paper for you.

                                              ------------------------------

The two of you were just leaving out the back way that you came, when a car pulled up right in the alleyway.

Kylo had a fantastic poker face, but you could feel him tense up as he stood in front of you, hand twitching to reach into his suit jacket and pull out his gun. You had throwing knives in the heel of your shoes, should you need to be quicker than Kylo – but Kylo was pretty quick, so you just froze too as the window of the car rolled down, revealing a very impassive Jabba the Hutt.

“That was some fucking stunt you pulled with Rotta.” The old man said, puffing on a cigar.

Kylo didn’t relax entirely, but he knew he could handle Jabba, knew he wouldn’t shoot Kylo in broad daylight. As Jabba always liked to say, things ain’t what they used to be.

“Is he dead?” Kylo asked, not bothering too much to put any amount of care in his voice.

“You better wish he were dead, because if he ain’t he’s coming for you.” Jabba said, and the two of them had a stare-down for a moment.

Kylo was the expert in patience, and he always won.

He was still staring with a cool poker face, when Jabba broke out into a big wet laugh.

“Yeah I doubt that.” Kylo muttered, mostly so only you could hear, before raising his voice and asking, “Where the fuck were you yesterday?”

“I had some business to attend to.” Jabba shrugged, blowing smoke.

“Business? Jabba it’s the one night a year there ain’t supposed to be any business.” Kylo scoffed with a frown.

“Yeah? So what. There was business.” Jabba dismissed him, which you didn’t like.

You didn’t like it one bit.

“Even Hux showed up.” You said from behind Kylo, making Jabba’s eyebrows raise.

“That slimy sycophant?” He hummed, now starting to regret not showing up. “He tell you he wanted Hell’s Kitchen?”

“You’d know if you showed up.” You shrugged, making him grit his teeth. You could tell by the way his jaw moved.

“Look. About Rotta, I’m sorry, I don’t know where the fuck he gets that behavior of his from.” Jabba sighed, and Kylo’s hand tensed in yours.

“If you’re looking for an apology – ” Kylo started, only for Jabba to wave his hand.

“I’m not, you did the right thing, I don’t blame you.” Jabba said. “If some piece of shit kid said somethin’ about my wife I woulda blown his guts all over the wall. You were too nice to him.”

“He gonna live?” Kylo asked. He had purposefully shot the kid in places he knew he’d recover from, no vital organs or anything like that. Maybe he’d need a new kidney, who knew.

Kylo knew, and you knew, and Jabba knew.

“Yeah, he’ll be okay. Got the best surgeons lookin’ after him.” He said.

“Pity.” Kylo replied.

After a tense moment, Jabba burst out into the obnoxious laughter again, and the window rolled up, and he drove away.

You and Kylo stood there, watching the car disappear into traffic before he held the door open for you to climb into his jaguar, the two of you heading the opposite direction.

                                              ------------------------------

The drive to midtown didn’t take too long, twenty minutes because of traffic. The two of you soon found yourselves on the front stoop of Rey’s gorgeous three floor town-home.

Rey yanked the door open and was scowling at her brother from across the threshold before Kylo could even bother to ring the doorbell.

“Rey.” Kylo greeted his sister, pushing his way in the door.

“What are you doing here?” She asked with a groan, clearly just having gotten out of bed.

She was wrapped in a white fluffy robe and was still clad in her slippers, her hair all mussed from sleep.

You kissed her cheek in greeting and she closed the door behind you, locked all five bolts and retreated into the kitchen where Kylo had made himself comfortable, leaning against the counter with his hands in his pockets.

You always wondered how those big hands of his fit into pockets, pockets weren’t made big enough for them, for those baseball mitts of his.

“Smelling the roses, what the fuck do you think I’m doing here?” Kylo snapped.

Rey sighed and poured herself a big mug of coffee, even though it was already after eleven o’clock in the morning.

“Kylo I don’t have time to talk to you today.” Rey said, checking the calendar that hung up on the side of one of the cabinets. “It’s Saturday, you shouldn’t be working anyway.”

“You’re my last stop of the day.” Kylo lied, making you chuckle.

“Oh hello.” A familiar voice sounded from the stairs.

“Gwen!” You smiled, “What a surprise.”

Gwen was in a tank top and shorts, her muscles on full display. You couldn’t help but mentally give yourself a high-five for being right, about the two of them, about their chemistry at dinner last night. You would have bet money that they would have gone home together, just by the very way they sat leaning in towards one another all evening.

“Is it?” Gwen asked, a teasing eyebrow raised.

“No.” You laughed as she swatted your arm playfully.

Rey was mortified, absolutely mortified, her face gone a dark red.

“Can you please leave now?” She asked as Kylo poured himself a mug of his own from the French press Rey had brewed up.

You put a gentle hand on his wrist, a signal that that was the last one for today. He nodded minutely, and you smiled.

“No, since I’ve got you both here, we need to figure out what the fuck is going on with Hell’s Kitchen and Midtown in general.” Kylo said, practically grumbled.

“(Y/N) control your husband.” Rey turned to you, but you just waved her off.

“Oh let him get it out. The sooner you listen to him, the sooner he’ll leave you alone.” You said, and Kylo nodded.

“Why’d you give me the fucking thing if you were just going to micromanage it anyway?” Rey snatched the French press from his hands and set it down on the marble counter top.

“To get you out of my hair and give you something to do, to be honest.” Kylo said making Rey roll her eyes, “But looks like that fucking backfired on me, because I got this yesterday morning.”

He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his voice mails until he found the one he was looking for, put it on speaker and tossed the phone onto the counter as it played:

“Hey uh, Mr. Ren? It’s Lenny. I know I’m supposed to talk directly with your sister, but no one can get a hold of her? Anyway, I figured I’d call you because we’ve been gettin’ some trouble around here – robberies – and no one really seems to be doin’ anything about it? Not for nothin’, and I mean no disrespect sir, but we don’t pay you for you to not do anything, you know? Anyway, please call me back or send someone down, I’d appreciate it. Once again, this is Lenny, from Hell’s Kitchen.”

“So.” Kylo said, expectantly, his hand on your hip.

“I don’t know who Lenny is.” Rey shrugged.

“Lenny Leibowitz?” Kylo stared at her like he was getting ready to strangle her. You gently took the coffee cup from him and sipped it instead as Kylo tried jogging his sister’s memory, “He runs the fucking bodega, where half the coke in midtown is stored? If people are robbing him, then they might find it and then we’d be in big fuckin’ trouble, wouldn’t we?”

“Oh.” Realization dawned on Rey finally, and she winced when she figured it out. “Well do we know who’s robbing him?”

“No but I’m about to go down there and find out, because if there’s one thing we do, it’s fix problems that shouldn’t be caused in the first fucking place.” Kylo said, picking his phone up off the counter and shoving it in his pocket.

“Okay, you go and tell me what’s what.” Rey said, and even Gwen raised her eyebrows at that.

“Rey, come on.” She said gently.

“Jesus, you think you can fuck the brat out of her?” Kylo said to Gwen, who licked her teeth in a silent laugh.

“Kylo!” Rey’s face burned, but no one gave a shit.

“Come on, (Y/N), let’s go.” Kylo said, having done all the embarrassment he wanted to accomplish for the day. You waved a little goodbye to the women as the two of you left the townhome.

                                              ------------------------------

The bodega wasn’t far away at all, so the two of you decided to leave the car parked outside Rey’s house and instead of driving, you walked.

You liked holding Kylo’s hand like this, liked how your footsteps lined up with one another. Left foot right foot, left again. The weather was cool but not too cold yet, it was still too early in September for it to be too cold. You admired the way the leaves had begun to change, started to grow excited for the season to be in full swing. Kylo was deep in thought, his grip on your hand tight.

You sometimes wondered what went on inside his head, but you knew him well enough to know.

“I like Lenny.” You said, wanting to break the companionable silence.

“He’s real nice.” Kylo agreed, smoked the cigarette that he lit when the two of you started your short walk.

“Hey, look at me?” You asked, squeezing his hand in the way that tells him you’re worried. He met your eyes right away, and you gave him a little smile, saw the ghost of a dimple make an appearance. “This is our last stop, right?”

“Hopefully.” He replied, taking a deep drag of his cigarette.

You knew that meant probably not, and you chewed your lip.

“When we get home, suits off, guns away, just be with me. Okay?” You asked, and he nodded, tension sliding from his shoulders.

“Okay.” He agreed.

You brought his hand to your lips and gave his scarred knuckles a soft kiss.

“Promise?” You asked, knowing he’d never break a promise.

“I promise honey.” He said, as the two of you arrived at the bodega.

 The bodega was a small unassuming little thing. Sat right on the corner, its windows were filled to the brim with signs and posters for upcoming events around the neighborhood. People passed it by and went in all day, some stopping for a cool drink and sandwich, others stocking up with groceries for the week. It was a tiny crammed store that did very very good business, which is why in the basement there were crates and crates of stolen goods and weapons under the floorboards where no one would ever suspect.

Lenny Leibowitz was a young guy, just about Kylo’s age. He had recently inherited the bodega from his father who passed last year, who had worked with the Organa family for as long as he had lived in New York. Lenny knew things, knew how things worked and was always gracious, always more than happy to comply with Kylo’s way of business.

“Mr. Ren! Thank you so much for coming, I’m so sorry to have bothered you with this.” Lenny said when the little door bell to the store rang as Kylo held the door open for you.

Lenny came around the counter to shake Kylo’s hand.

“Please, Mr. Leibowitz, I can’t express how sorry I am to have put you in this position.” Kylo said truthfully. He hated when this sort of thing happened, it reminded him of his father’s shitty business.

“Oh, it ain’t your fault, I know that. I was just a little frustrated when I called, that’s on me. I shoulda listened to my wife and cooled down before calling.” Lenny chuckled nervously.

“Wives know best, don’t they, Mr. Leibowitz?” You asked playfully, making Lenny laugh.

Kylo liked how you always put everyone at ease, his hand warm as it splayed across the small of your back.

“(Y/N)! I have something for you.” Lenny snapped his fingers as he remembered something. “Well, you and Kylo really. I know the anniversary is comin’ up soon.”

Lenny left to go to the back of the bodega, and you and Kylo just exchanged glances. He was such a fun little man, you thought.

He came back with a large bottle of very nice champagne that was wrapped with a red ribbon, and presented it to you. You took it graciously, and tucked it into the crook of your arm.

“Thank you so much, but first we’d like to talk about the robberies, if that’s alright?” You smiled patiently, Lenny remembering why you were there in the first place.

“Of course! Of course, it’s more than alright. Do you want to come see?” He asked, beckoning you back towards the back of the store where it looked like someone had knocked a ton of shit over.

“You didn’t call the cops or anything, did you?” Kylo asked, and Lenny gasped.

“The cops?” He frowned, scandalized that Kylo would even ask, “Of course not, I don’t got any use for those pigs. Besides, I don’t think they’d be happy to see this…” Lenny opened up a trap door that was hidden underneath a long mat in front of the coolers.

Inside was a view of the basement, and even from a cursory glance Kylo could tell no one had gone down there and fucked with anything.

“So they didn’t take any of it?” Kylo asked, just to be sure.

“No, only the cash from the register and some merchandise from the shelves.” Lenny gestured to the fucked up displays. “You want to take a look at the camera footage?”

Kylo nodded, reached out and grabbed a bag of chips.

“Pull it up. We’ll replace the cash, and pay for the lost goods, and give you some extra for your trouble.” He said to make up for the whole thing.

Lenny shifted his feet, averted his eyes nervously.

“Thank you Mr. Ren. The thing is, and please don’t get mad, but well…they took your monthly payment. I keep it in the register, you know? So it ain’t suspicious.” Lenny looked like he was bracing to be punched, poor thing, and if it hadn’t been his own fault, Kylo probably would have.

But, considering that he had dropped his end of the bargain by virtue of Rey not doing her fucking job, he took full responsibility for this whole fucking mishap.

“Don’t worry about it, and don’t worry about paying next month either. This never should have happened on our watch, and you were right in your message; you don’t pay us for nothing.” Kylo said, pursed his lips in that way of his where he’s trying not to scowl.

He’d really bitch at Rey about this later.

“Thank you Kylo, I really appreciate it. Hux woulda had my head for this.” Lenny sighed, making you perk up.

“Hux been bothering you?” You asked carefully, keeping your voice even.

You kept your eyes on the screen, and finally there were the guys who had robbed Lenny – big guys in ski-masks, like this was the fucking 1980s or something.

“He came around a week ago when there was a lot of shit going on, made some vague threats.” Lenny nodded, the three of you walking away from the trap door and towards the register where Kylo unrolled some bills to pay for the chips.

“What kind of threats?” You asked, making Lenny shrug.

“Oh I didn’t put any stock in any of it, just that I ‘might not be ownin’ the corner store soon, if he has his way.’ That sorta thing.”

You and Kylo didn’t have to look at each other to know that he was obviously behind this. But just to be sure,

“When did he come around?” Kylo asked, tone light.

“Wednesday?” Lenny thought out loud, “Yeah Wednesday around noon.”

“And when was the break-in?” You asked, grabbing a bottle of water from the small cooler right by the register.

Kylo dropped a couple more bills on the counter.

“Yesterday morning.” Lenny confirmed. He must’ve called right after it happened, you thought.

“Jesus, I’m sorry Lenny.” You said, “We’re gonna ask around, see if we can’t figure out who they were workin’ for.”

“You count up how much you’ll need and send me the number, I’ll get you the cash right away, send one of my boys to deliver it tomorrow first thing.” Kylo said, arm around you.

Lenny was still giving his thanks as the little bell dinged, the door closing behind you.

 Just as you were about to make the short walk back to where you’d left the car, you spotted the man who matched the exact same build as the one on the security camera footage.

“Hey!” You shouted, voice commanding as it echoed down the alleyway across the street.

Without thinking, you sprinted, ran straight through traffic as cars honked and people hollered at you. Kylo was close behind, always close behind you. He stepped in front of you and shot the sonofabitch in the leg, sending him to the ground with a strangled scream. You were glad Kylo brought the silencer along with him today, glad for the horns of traffic to mask the sounds.

“Oh fuck!” The guy shouted, cried and cried and shouted some more as blood oozed from his calf, turning his jeans a dark ruddy brown.

Kylo looked both ways before kicking the nearest door down – thankfully one of the hidey holes you knew about – and dragged the guy in.

You quickly turned on the lights and locked the door as Kylo tossed the guy into the center of the room.

“Do you know who I am?” Kylo asked, crouched down to meet the guy’s eyeline.

You didn’t know why he bothered sometimes, no one ever was going to give him a straight answer, not in these sort of conditions.

Kylo didn’t care.

“No.” The guy gasped out, clutching at his leg.

The day had really taken a turn, you thought as you circled the guy, leaned against the desk just behind him.

Kylo looked up at you briefly, saw you twitch your left eyebrow.

Lying.

“Don’t waste my time any more than you already have. I don’t like to repeat myself.” Kylo said evenly, as the guy started going into shock.

“We ain’t gonna hurt you if you just tell us the truth.” You offered from your spot on the desk, not wanting to get blood on your new shoes.

“Christ, there’s a fucking bullet in my leg – bit late for that.” The guy said.

You frowned, he had an accent, an English accent.

What was Hux doing with English guys?

“Do you know who I am?” Kylo asked, starting to lose his patience.

He stood up and planted his shiny dress shoe right over the bullet wound in the schmuck’s leg.

He screamed out in pain, and Kylo only pressed down harder, harder and harder the longer the guy stayed silent.

“Kylo Ren! Fuck, you’re Kylo fucking Ren.” He sobbed, shouted out loud.

Good thing the room was soundproofed, you thought.

“You know who you robbed?” Kylo asked, chillingly calm.

“Huh? I didn’t rob nobody!” The man shouted, blood starting to drip all over the floor.

Kylo didn’t need to look at you to know that that one was a lie.

“Let me jog your memory.” He offered, cocking the gun.

“Fuck okay! Okay! It was the corner store, we were told – ”

“Who’s ‘we’ and told by who?” Kylo demanded, voice stern.

“I don’t know! I don’t know who told us to! I swear.” The man sobbed, but you knew better.

Lying.

“That’s bullshit.” Kylo glanced at you and shook his head at the guy, stomped hard enough on his leg for the bone to crack.

Kylo took a deep breath as he gave the guy some time to scream.

He looked at you and you shrugged, trying to convey something close to this fuckin’ guy, amirite?

“Okay okay okay – ” The man collected himself, snot and tears dripping from his face. “Okay! It was me and my buddies, we got cornered on the street by a man in a black car, he asked if we wanted to make a quick buck. It was too dark, we couldn’t see – ”

“Who?” Kylo asked, making the guy go frantic.

“I don’t know!” He shouted, cried, blood all over the place.

“Did he have an accent?” You asked from your spot on the desk.

“I don’t remember!” The man was coughing now, hacking. You thought it was a little dramatic, but you believed him.

Truth.

“What’d they tell you to steal?” Kylo asked, and this he did seem to know, practically tripped over himself to answer this one.

“That’s the thing, they didn’t tell us to steal anything specific, just whatever we wanted.” He coughed, “Never been paid to just rob someone like that before, please don’t kill me, please.”

“I’m not going to kill you.” Kylo lied, making you smile just a little. “Where and when were you cornered?”

“Down by the east river, on Monday.” The man said, making you frown.

Hux wouldn’t have been down by the East River, not Monday. You knew this, because all day Monday he was in Washington D.C., having meetings with some senators he knew. Which begged the question, if it wasn’t Hux, who was it?

Kylo thought the same thing, and for a moment the two of you paid no attention to the man writhing on the ground in between you. You wracked your brain, tried to think – out of everyone, all the families, who would want to hire some no-name guy to rob Lenny? It was clearly just to send a message, but in that moment, you couldn’t figure out who wanted to send it.

“And you’re sure you didn’t see who?” You asked, making the guy nod frantically.

“I’m sure! I swear.” The guy begged, and Kylo looked up at you.

After a moment, you twitched your right eyebrow from your spot on the desk.

Truth.

“Then you’re of no use to me.” Kylo sighed, pulled his trigger and silenced the man’s screaming for good.

You checked Kylo for blood, thankfully found that he had managed to stay clean this time, just some red staining the bottom of his shoes where he had stepped on the man’s leg. You both looked at him and you tsked just a little. You’d call the clean-up guys later.

For now, you needed to think, except you didn’t want to do it here.

“Can we go home?” You asked, and he kissed the top of your head.

“I’m going to drop you off.” He said, making you whine.

“Kylo, you promised.” You reminded him, but he shook his head.

“I know honey, I know. But I need to talk to some people.” You could see the wheels turning in his head, could see him looking through years and years of business deals, trying to figure out who he had pissed off this time.

“Let me come with you then.” You tried, but he shook his head.

“No, this is gonna get ugly.” He was resolute, and you sighed.

                                              ------------------------------

The walk back to Rey’s was quiet, and the drive back was even quieter. You weren’t upset, not at Kylo. You just didn’t like being left out.

You didn’t like how he got when you weren’t there.

He was always slightly less controlled, more anxious. More prone to do something stupid.

The hand on your thigh was warm the whole way home, and when he pulled up in front of the apartment entrance, you held it in your hand.

“Bring me back something?” You asked, puckering your lips for a kiss.

“Always do.” Kylo replied, because he was good, and he did. He leaned in to kiss you sweetly once, twice, three times, finally getting you to smile.

“I’ll have dinner waiting for you when you come home, okay?” You squeezed his hand, and he nodded.

He got out of the car and opened the door for you, waited until the doorman opened the lobby doors for you and you were safely inside before he drove away.

 The apartment was big and empty, just like it always was when he wasn’t home.

You changed into comfortable clothes, lounge pants and a sweatshirt, feet in Kylo’s favorite pair of slippers. You loved how cozy they were, so you stole them constantly when you could get away with it.

You started dinner right away, figured that would give you something to do and something to keep your hands busy so you weren’t just sitting around waiting for him.

You’d sit around and wait for him though, if you had to. As long as he came back to you, you’d wait as long as you needed.

Instead though, you asked your Alexa to play some music, let it waft through the Bluetooth speakers all around the house. It made it less lonely that way. You wondered where Kylo was going, who he was meeting with. He’d tell you when he came back, you knew that, but the way he had left in such a hurry had you worried. You wondered what he was going to bring back for you.

He always brought back a little prize, a token, if you will. There was an entire shelf in the office dedicated to all Kylo’s kills, bits and bobs he had stolen from the scene, things immediately recognizable and yet completely ordinary at the same time.

You thought about it as you surveyed the fridge. You’d been planning on cooking him a nice big dinner tomorrow for the anniversary, but you figured now was as good a time as any. He’d need it now.

Lobster wasn’t terribly difficult to cook, neither was shrimp. The recipe also didn’t exactly take a long time either, so you focused on making a perfect risotto, which did take a lot of time and finessing to get just right.

You also started dicing vegetables for a soup to serve with dinner, taking your time to wash, peel, dice and slice everything into perfectly even sizes, perfect little bites. Kylo hated irregularity like that, hated sloppiness.

You did too, so you took your time.

You had just gotten over the sting of dicing onions where there was a soft thud at the door.

You froze, checked the clock. It was too soon for Kylo to be back, it had only been an hour since you started prepping dinner. He was never back that soon, and you didn’t call for anyone, so you held your breath as you creeped towards the door, chef’s knife in hand.

You tip-toed, didn’t make a fucking sound, mind racing.

This is the exact sort of reason why Kylo didn’t like you being far away from him, the exact reason you didn’t like being far away from him.

You covered your mouth so whoever was on the other side of the door couldn’t hear, and looked up at the peep hole…sighing with relief when the man on the other side turned out to be one of your own.

Six, one of the older members of the KoR was keeping watch, likely was sent by Kylo, and you chuckled to yourself at your reaction to the whole thing.

You undid all seven locks, peeked your head through the door.

“Good evening Mrs. Ren.” Six gave you a gold-toothed smile, and you smiled back.

You spent more time with Knuckles and Slip, but Six was always kind and respectful towards you. You liked him very much, and felt sorry for thinking about stabbing him to death in the moment.

“You scared me Six.” You laughed softly, held up the big knife that you’d been using to chop onions.

“Did I?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

You were notoriously hard to scare.

“No, not really.” You admitted, having been more annoyed than anything. You frowned suddenly, realizing the time “Wait here?”

“Of course.” Six replied, with you thought was funny, because really, where would he go?

You went inside and quickly brewed up a cup of tea, grabbed a few cookies and put them on a small plate for him. You added milk and honey and sugar to the tea, even put it in one of the bigger mugs, and returned to the front door.

“Here.” You held out the mug and small plate with a smile. You figured if he was supposed to be here for any amount of time standing outside your door, the absolute least you could do was make him as comfortable as he could be.

“I can’t accept this, (Y/N).” Six said at first, ever the gentleman, not wanting to piss Kylo off inadvertently somehow.

“Yes you can.” You winked, nudged the mug into his hand.

He gratefully accepted it, sipped the tea and sighed happily.

“Thank you ma’am.” He replied, and you could tell he was grateful.

“Do you know when he’ll be back?” You asked, hoping that Kylo had maybe given Six a time-frame of sorts.

But Six just shook his head, and your hopes fell just a little.

“I’m supposed to be here all night.” He explained, and you nodded.

“Are you sure you won’t come in and keep me company? I don’t want you to be bored.” You offered, knowing that was absolutely against the rules, but wanting to ask anyway. It only seemed like the polite thing to do.

“I’ve got my book, I’ll be alright.” Six declined respectfully, like he should, and you nodded.

“Let me know when you’d like more.” You said, pointing to the mug.

“Good night Mrs Ren.” Six replied, and you smiled, returning inside and locking the door behind you.

                                              ------------------------------

You finished dinner and ate it, sat at the long long dining table alone. You kept your gaze cast out the window, watched and waited for Kylo’s car to pull up.

When it finally did, some hours later, you rushed into action.

You’re used to it by now, the sight of him covered in blood.

He’s careful, always so careful, to not let any drip onto the floors, onto the carpeting. He hates seeing the stains, hates having to hire cleaners to get them out. But he’s dripping now, too out of it to really know what he’s doing, body on autopilot as he makes his way to the bathroom.

“Clothes off honey.” You motioned for him to step near you, onto the protective plastic sheet you liked to put down when he’s like this.

You’re already there, sitting on the counter of the lavish master bath waiting for him. You’ve got the first-aid kit by your side on the large marble countertop, bandages and things for stitches and all sorts of anti-bacterials and anti-septics and anti-who-knows-what-else.

Well, you know.

You’re used to it.  

“Help?” He asked, only able to do so much in his current state.

You nod right away, help peel him out of the suit he had picked out today, a day that felt a lifetime ago. It’s Armani this one, vintage. You bought it for him for his thirty-fifth birthday last year, got it specially tailored to fit his wide shoulders. You inspected it for bullet holes or stab wounds, and were so relieved to find none.

Once he was down to his white tank top and boxers in front of you, you brought your hands to cup his face ever so gently.

“Show me?” You kiss his lips just the tiniest bit, voice soft.

You made sure to be soft, gentle with him when he came back to you like this. He needed that, that calm. There was always so much yelling and chaos whenever Kylo had to take care of someone, so much screaming. You’d seen it yourself on the occasions where he’d brought you with him. Never from him of course; he had always been unusually quiet, Snoke had always said so.

Snoke was gone, but that didn’t matter.

What mattered was Kylo was there with you now, stepping even closer between your legs, blood dripping onto your thigh.

“Just here,” He lifted his hands up, showing you his busted knuckles.

Someone else’s this time, thank god, you thought looking up at his blood-splattered face.

“Rinse and spit.” You hand him a glass of mouthwash, knowing he’s got blood staining his teeth and wanting it out of his mouth.

He did as he was told, as you told him to.

Kylo was definitely a puncher, you thought with a smile as you carefully picked up the warm wash-cloth from a bowl of soapy water and wiped him down, first tending to his face to just get the shit off of him. He’d need a proper shower to get the blood out of his hair, it was sticking and making those beautiful raven locks of his go piecey, but you just wanted him to be able to look normal first.

“Did you have fun?” You asked, your way of asking if the job was a success.

He nodded, and you smiled again, wringing out the washcloth and getting the last of the blood off his face.

“Good, I’ve made your favorite dinner.” You said, tucking some of the sticky hair away from his face. “It’s waiting for you downstairs after we have a shower.”

“Thanks honey, I’m starving.” He said, leaning in to kiss your cheek softly. The thought of dinner alone made his stomach growl loudly, and that was the first time you saw him crack a real smile all day.

“Remember when you used to do this alone?” You asked, finally addressing his knuckles.  

They really weren’t as bad as they normally are when he comes home to you like this, tonight they’re only split open, but not down to the bone or anything. He must have just shot the guy more than necessary to get the kind of spattering that he had.

“Yeah it’s why I’ve got this fucking scar, botched stitches job.” He quirked another smile – two in one night, what a rarity!

“Mhm, and now you’ve got me to make them nice and even for you.” You grinned up at him, dabbing the knuckles with alcohol and ointment to make sure they don’t get infected. Kylo didn’t even flinch when you wrapped them up in the bandages, either too numb or too used to it, you couldn’t tell.

“You make everything better.” He said, ducking his head to kiss you.

You kissed him back, let him crowd against you, hands roaming your back, holding you so close. Your hands went to his hair instinctively, forgetting for half a moment that it was still sticky with blood. You didn’t mind so much, now that you were sure it wasn’t coming from anywhere on him.

Kylo kissed and kissed you, starving yes, but for you, for your touch. He made soft sounds in the back of his throat, either a whine or a grunt you weren’t sure. He stole your breath away, noses bumping together as the kiss deepened and he held you just tight enough to make you gasp a little into his mouth.

When he had his fill – for now anyway – he pulled back and rested his forehead against yours.

“I don’t like staying here while you go out.” You said softly, toying with the silver star that sat right in the pit of his throat.

“I know.” He said back, leaning in to kiss you softly once more before stepping back and turning the shower on, letting the water heat up.

The two of you stepped under the spray and the water ran rusty red as he ducked his head, as you scrubbed shampoo that foamed up pink in your hands.

“It was very mean of you to leave me all alone.” You said as he rinsed, his hands on your slippery body, wanting to touch you, needing to be close to you.

“You weren’t alone, I had Six stand outside and keep watch.” Kylo offered, and you hummed.

“You know that’s not what I mean.” You said, and Kylo licked his lips, swallowed.

“You gonna punish me?” He asked.

He was hopeful.

You smiled.

“Yeah, once I get you cleaned up.” You said, and you loved the way blush blossomed on his chest, loved the way his cock twitched for you.

 You didn’t bother getting dressed, not yet. Not when you knew you were going to make him slick with sweat, not when you were probably going to need another shower at the end of all of it.

He was standing straight, shoulders square, perfect for you. He wanted to be perfect for you, wanted to give you everything.

“I shouldn’t let you fuck me at all.” You said lightly, brushing your hands over his chest, your thumb catching his tiny nipples, pecs so strong and defined you could squeeze them. You did.

“Please – ”

“Shh, shh it’s okay honey.” You cup his cheek, kiss him sweetly. “None of that yet.”

You’d make him beg for you, in due time.

“Suck.” You held your fingers up to his mouth, and he obliges, wraps his tongue around your digits, kisses and sucks and wets them until they’re sticky and glistening.

You crawled on the bed, Kylo’s eyes glued to you, his cock heavy and thick between his legs, tip so red that you knew he was going to start leaking soon, dripping all over himself.

Good, you thought, and you settled on your back, propped your hips up and spread your legs so he could see your cunt from where he stood, see how wet it was, drooling for him.

“You wanna know what happens when you leave me here?” You asked, and you close your eyes, knows he’s watching you.

He’s always watching, and for once, he can’t touch. Can’t touch himself – can’t touch you.

He whimpers as you slide your fingers down to your pussy, swallows hard as he watches your legs drop open ever more as you softly moan out your pleasure. It’s exaggerated for his benefit, for the show of all of this, but he doesn’t care. His hands are balling into fists at his side, cock angry for you.

But this is a punishment, and he knows if he’s good and does as you tell him, it won’t be so bad in the end, even if it’s silent torture now.

“Not very nice to leave a girl all alone, leave her to take care of herself.” You said, back arching as you thrust your fingers in and out as best you can from this angle. “Come here, come look what you make me do.”

He jumps at the chance, quickly climbs onto the bed and settles himself inches away from your cunt, rests his head on your thigh as he bites at his lip, desperately wanting to fill you. He knows he can do a better job than your fingers can, his are thicker, longer, he knows he can make you feel better but you haven’t said it, haven’t said he can touch you yet, so he waits, in agony.

“Apologize.” You softly order around a gasp as your thighs twitch, and Kylo’s rushing to get the words out.

“I’m sorry, I won’t leave you alone again, please, can I? Let me?” He’s so desperate, and it never ceases to amaze you, how someone so big and strong and tough can be so quiet, so gentle, so desperate.

You drag it out a little longer.

“Why should I?” You asked, rubbing at your clit and making Kylo crazy, making his vision start to go spotty just from the concentration he has on your pussy.

You can feel his cock weeping for you as you moan.

“I’ll make it nice, you know I will, please (Y/N) I will.” Kylo begged, eyes wide and round and brown, so full of love and hope and pleading that you smile, nod.

“Make me come on your fingers.” You withdraw your hand and Kylo immediately takes its place.

There really is nothing like getting fingered by your man, you can’t help but think, before those magic fingers work their magic, and you can’t think much of anything at all.

He knows exactly where to touch you, exactly how to draw which sounds from your throat, and you let him, and he’s grateful in every fiber of his being that you let him.

“That’s it – oh! You’re so good Kylo, so good honey.” You praise him, partly because it’s true, but partly because you know how it helps, know how it makes him feel on fire.

“Let me fuck you? Please, I’m dying – please (Y/N).” He pants into the crook of your neck, and you nod, not wanting to deny him anything for the rest of the night.

He’s earned this, earned at least this much.

“Of course honey, come on.” You give him the permission he craves, and he sucks your juices off his fingers like he doesn’t give a shit about the lobster downstairs, like this is his favorite meal. For all you know, it is. You kiss him, smudge the words into his skin, “Let it all out, it’s okay.”

“Thank you thank you thank you – ” He could cry from relief when he finally gets his cock in you, you’re nice and stretched from his fingers, pliant and hot and wet from his touch.

He’s rough with you, because he has to be, because he needs to be otherwise he’ll snap. You take it, take him so well, made for him, made for his cock. You come again, just because he knows exactly where that spot inside you lives, knows exactly how hard and fast to hit it with his dick, and you’re seeing stars in minutes.

You know he’s not going to last, not with how wound up he was, even before all your teasing and ordering around. But he doesn’t need to, because this isn’t about him lasting all night, this is about him getting the instant gratification of a job well done – because in the end, it was.

He fucks you hungrily, hips snapping against yours, his arms wrapped tight around your hips, pulling you and fucking you down onto his cock, angry angry angry, pent up aggression from the day, from the job, spilling into you as he comes.

“Thank you, I’m sorry.” He kisses your skin, kisses your chest as his hips move even still, as he’s whimpering into your breasts as he milks his orgasm for everything he can.

“It’s okay, you’re okay.” You pet his hair back, you kiss the top of his head. “You did so well, I love you more than anything.” You tell him, and he nods, hips finally stilling against you.

He sags and sighs, panting, so out of breath, your man.

The praise sings through him, and you can feel more come push into you, worried now that when you sit up it’ll all spill out, all over the sheets and the floor.

You card your fingers through his hair, and his stomach growls in the quiet.

“We need to eat dinner.” You remind him, and for the first time in a long time, he laughed.

                                            ------------------------------

Tagging some pals! Please let me know if you’d like to be added or taken off the taglist :) <33  @adamsnackdriver @dreamboatdriver @kyloxfem @heldcaptivebychaos @kylo-renne @callmehopeless @solotriplets @formerly-anonhamster @lookinsidemyhead @candycanes19 @adamsnacc-kler @the-wayward-rose @taylovren-types  magikevalynn  tinyplanet-explorers @chelsjnov  romancedeldiablo

[princessselene126]

Kaider OTP Headcanons

Okay, so because I love Kaider so much I decided to do all of these for them. I literally can’t contain myself. I copy and pasted the ones I already did and then answered the ones that I didn’t.

1) Who is the most affectionate? Kai is the most affectionate of the two. Cinder is a pretty touch starved character, she grew up thinking that she wasn’t worth any type of affection, so she doesn’t go out of her way to hug people or tell someone she loves them, or anything like that. Kai, on the other hand, makes a point to always be holding her hand, or whisper a quick “I love you” when they’re in the middle of a world leaders’ meeting.

2) Big spoon/Little spoon? Cinder is usually the big spoon and Kai is usually the little spoon. But normally they sleep facing each other like in this art I found.

3) Most common argument? They don’t really argue, but they often tell each other to go to bed. Kai goes down to the garage and gets Cinder when she’s tinkering too late into the night. Cinder drags (or carries) Kai out of his office when he’s up too late looking over legislation or other important documents.

4) Favorite non-sexual activity? On the rare occasion they have free time, they love sitting together in a big arm chair and reading. They take turns listening to the other’s voice.

5) Who is most likely to carry the other? Cinder carries Kai. Kai tries to carry Cinder sometimes, but it’s difficult because of her metal extremities.

6) What is their favorite feature of their partner’s? Kai loves Cinder’s hair. He likes burying his face in it when they sleep. Cinder loves Kai’s smile. It makes her artificial heart melt.

7) What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other? We lived through that, so I’m not gonna bother. Instead I’m gonna talk about what changes when they first start living together. As we saw in Something Old, Something New, Kai and Cinder aren’t strangers to falling asleep in each other’s arms when they’re around their friends, but I have a feeling that didn’t happen much when they visited each other on Earth and Luna. I think Cinder has her own suite in New Beijing Palace set aside before they officially get married just because that seems like something Torin would say they should do to keep up with traditions... but that doesn’t mean Cinder ever uses it. In fact she never does. Now that they live together why would they stay in separate rooms? After dealing with a long distance relationship for almost two years, there’s no way in the stars they’re not sleeping tangled up in each other’s arms.

8) Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate? When they’re in teasing moods, they’ll call each other Your Majesty. If the rampion crew is around, Throne will make gagging noises when they do it. The maids at the palace think it’s adorable. Aside from that I don’t think they use nicknames very much. They like calling each other by their names because from anyone else it comes with a title ahead of it. They feel more like ordinary people when the other just calls them by their name.

9) Who worries the most? They’re both pretty big worriers, the difference is that Kai internalizes it while Cinder frequently voices it. Many would think it would be the opposite because Cinder is usually the more closed off, but that’s just not the case.

10) Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? Cinder. She has a computer in her head, remember?

11) Who tops? I’d say it’s pretty 50/50 just depends on what they’re in the mood for.

12) Who initiates kisses? Kai usually. He’s a bit more physically needy.

13) Who reaches for the other’s hand first? I’d say it’s pretty even again. Cinder reaches for Kai’s hand under the table when they have meetings or at press conferences. Basically any time that she feels slightly insecure or intimidated by some other leader’s experience compared to her own. Kai reaches out for her all the time. He’s pretty much always holding her hand when they’re out in public.

14) Who kisses the hardest? I… I really want to say Kai. Like I said before he’s a bit more needy and desperate (not in a bad way) and Cinder is a bit more go with the flow.

15) Who wakes up first? They wake up at the same time every day because they have to be briefed in the morning–usually during breakfast–about what’s on their schedule for the day.

16) Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer? Kai. Cinder was used to having to get up early to go man her booth at the market. Kai on the other hand? He used to be allowed to sleep in and he misses it.

17) Who says I love you first? I honestly can’t remember who says it first in canon, it’s been too long since I’ve read tlc. But if I’m just allowed to make this stuff up? I’d say Cinder. Kai knew he loved her but he wanted her to say it first so he didn’t push her into saying it back when she wasn’t ready.

18) Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?) Okay they don’t leave notes in each other’s lunches, but they do comm each other randomly throughout the day. It’s usually stuff like “Vargas was being an ass today” or “I love Iko, but if she makes me wear heels again I swear to the stars--” or “I know it’s been 10 minutes, but I miss you already. Wanna skip lunch?”

19) Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first? They don’t have to, everyone already knows. Cinder was pretty fucking obvious about how much she liked *cough* loved *cough* him before they kidnapped Kai. And once Kai joined them on the Rampion? All bets were off if they even wanted to hide their relationship.

20) What do their family/friends think of their relationship? This depends on who you ask. Iko thinks they’re the cutest couple in history. Thorne thinks they’re sickeningly adorable and obviously enjoys teasing them. Jacin thinks the same but without the teasing. Wolf, Scarlet, Winter, and Cress think that Kai and Cinder just... make sense in such a strange way that it doesn’t make sense.

21) Who is more likely to start dancing with the other? Kai is the one to initiate dancing of course. Cinder is absolutely terrible at it, and often accidentally steps on his toes, but she’ll let him guide her along anyway.

22) Who cooks more/who is better at cooking? Honestly? Neither of them knows how to cook very well. Cinder knows the basics, but Kai is completely lost. Let’s just say it’s a good thing they have a kitchen full of chefs.

23) Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines? Neither of them. There’s a lot of heavy flirting and teasing, but neither ever uses cheesy pick up lines.

24) Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times? Kai does it a lot actually. When they’re dancing at galas or balls he’ll lean in close and whisper in her ear, or he’ll say something that’s subtle enough other people won’t think it’s anything strange, but he said the same thing the night before and Cinder definitely picks up on what he’s trying to do. Most of the time he does it to see if he can get a reaction out of her, a hint of red on her cheeks, anything. But more often than not he gets an eye roll or an elbow to the ribs.

25) Who needs more assurance? I feel like they both do equally as often. Cinder needs assurances from Kai that she’s a good person and that she matters. Kai needs assurances that he’s doing what’s right for their people.

26) What would be their theme song? I wanted to say “I’m not a Robot” by Marina and the Diamonds, but I feel like that’s much more of just Cinder song. For them as a couple I think I’d go with “Only Exception” by Paramore (not just because it’s one of my favorite songs) because they really are the only exception for each other? Kai def wasn’t going to love Levana–no way in hell. And Cinder never really thought of love until Kai came around.

27) Who would sing to their child back to sleep? I’ve said before that I headcanon Cinder as a closeted singer, so I’m carrying this over. Cinder sings their kids to sleep. By the time they have kids, Kai knows that she can sing. He often leans against the kids’ doorway and listens to her voice with a smile on his face.

28) What do they do when they’re away from each other? When one is on a trip to a different country without the other, they both try to immerse themselves in work so they can pretend they get to sleep next to the other when they go to bed that night. If they’re at home but can’t see each other for a while because running the country gets in the way, they comm each other every couple hours throughout the day to check in.

29) one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart The concept of happiness is very foreign to both Cinder and Kai. Cinder because Adri made her feel worthless. Kai because he was resigned to the fact that his entire life was going to revolve around his people and he would never get to do things for himself.

30) one headcanon about this OTP that mends it Now that they have each other, they know that they’ll be happy for the rest of their lives. It doesn’t matter if there’s another war, if they someday have to absolve the monarchy in the Eastern Commonwealth too. As long as they’re together, as long as they face things side by side, they’re happy and they’re okay.

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics where Louis acts like a brat in the story. We hope you enjoy all of these. Happy reading!

1) Can't You See (What You Do To Me)? | Explicit | 4217 words

Two men. One parking space. Lots of pranks, lots of persistence, lots of passion.

2) Throw Me In The Deep End | Mature | 5914 words

He’s a respectable captain who doesn’t go around bedding his crew, although when certain members of his crew decide to land on his bed themselves, it’s a bit of a tough  choice. So it’s a struggle, really.

3) Like You Hate Me | Explicit | 6541 words

“You have poor taste for someone with the last name Styles,” he says, turning to show the back of his pants to Harry—the pants Harry had just stitched his name across last night to keep this type of thing from happening again. Of course, he’s accomplished nothing but indirectly making himself pop a stiffy over Louis fucking Tomlinson.

4) A Virgin To That Money | Explicit | 7366 words

AU. Harry and Louis are broke university students who hate each other and make a sex tape. (In which Louis gets fucked a lot, Harry can’t find the camera, and the road to falling in love is different for everyone.) 

5) Call Me Shallow But I'm Only Getting Deeper | Explicit | 7367 words

The one where Louis is a brat so Harry spanks him with a riding crop.

6) Focal Point | Mature | 8935 words

By the time you read this, I’ll be gone, so don’t bother looking. Last night was lovely, Harry, I’m sure you agree. Sorry to run, but that’s just how life works sometimes, I’m sure you understand. Don’t forget about me. xx P.S. Thanks for the money

7) Ain’t No Telling Who’s In Charge Here | Explicit | 14562 words

The thing about Louis’ and Harry’s dynamic is that while Louis is the instigator of 99% of the foolishness, Harry will always come back at him with something ten times dirtier than whatever Louis had thought up. Of course, Louis can’t let that go, so he does something else, so Harry has to do something else, and then it’s a vicious cycle that continues until one of them makes a plea for a truce.

It’s like that even when they’re at home. Sometimes it’s like that especially while they’re at home, because Louis gets bored easily and Harry is just such an easy target. The point is that the kind of foolishness that Louis is known for doesn’t stop when the cameras stop rolling, so when Louis lets himself into Harry’s bedroom at 5:30 in the morning to annoy Harry into waking up before he goes for a run is completely normal and to be expected.

Except that it turns out not to be so normal.

8) Know You Got That Thing (That I Like) | Explicit | 15798 words

In all the ways he thought about their reunion going, watching Louis finger himself open was not on the list.

9) Like Gold | Explicit | 17763 words

Royal AU where Harry is Prince Louis’ Adviser, and Louis is anything but helpful. 

10) Another Day Gettin' Into Trouble | Explicit | 25619 words

Harry’s drunk when the idea occurs to him. He’s also a pop star, so sometimes his drunk ideas turn into actual things instead of just ideas. The clone-a-willy kit is one of them. In Harry’s defense, when he first thinks about it his intention is just to buy the kit and give it to Louis to make his own dildo with, because that’s what he wants anyway, right? To have a penis filling him up? Then he realizes that it would be weird if Louis made a copy of his own dick to fuck himself with. It’d be super weird. Louis fucking himself? That’s a weird idea. Harry’s pretty sure Louis wouldn’t like that. Clearly the only solution here is to use his own dick for the mold.

11) Up To No Good | Explicit | 26525 words

Note: This fic is the first part in a series. The entire series is BL.

Harry doesn’t think of himself as a womanizer, not at all. Sure, he enjoys sex, enjoys how women feel underneath him, and by some people’s standards he has sex with quite a lot of people, but that’s no reason to tell him that he can’t have a female PA anymore.

It’s especially no excuse for giving him a male PA who’s possibly the most gorgeous boy in the world who won’t even let Harry look at him for too long.

Sometimes Harry hates his life.

12) The Forest for the Trees | Explicit | 28250 words

Louis and Harry had the ultimate roommates and best friends with benefit relationship until Harry suddenly ends the benefits part, shocking and hurting Louis in the process. He’s fallen in love with Harry, but is too scared to tell him the truth because he just does not do first moves. In the spirit of unrequited love and with a little help from Harry’s mother, Louis decides to set Harry up with a series of horrible blind dates, hoping his roommates will see dating is too much trouble and come back to him. In the end, things don’t go as planned. 

13) Can't Fool Me | Explicit | 30162 words

AU where Louis hates fraternities and would never be into a frat boy. And one of these things is definitely not a lie.

14) Have You Coming Back Again | Explicit | 31086 words | Sequel

It’s five o’clock in the morning. Louis has a lecture at half eight. He could be using this time to study or to do his readings or to go to the gym, but - well. He doesn’t have any exams coming up, he’s not going to his seminar today anyway and he hates the gym.

Instead he’s using this time to fuck with Harry Styles’ poor little brain.

Louis jogs across the street and jabs the key into the car door. It opens easily, not that he was expecting anything else. He copied the key for a reason, after all.

He’s got Harry’s schedule memorized, more because the guy keeps following him around than anything, so he doesn’t bother looking around before climbing behind the wheel and setting his bag on the passenger seat. It’s a Monday, which means that Harry doesn’t even get out of bed before noon unless he’s planning on harassing Louis.

15) If I Should Stay | Explicit | 31185 words

Louis is a television actor who suddenly needs a bodyguard.  Harry is the bodyguard he ends up hiring.  

16) All The Right Moves | Explicit | 32264 words

This is the third game in a row that Harry has been distracted by the noisy boy in the stands, five rows back.

There’s really no reason that he should feel compelled to stare into the audience as frequently as he is, but he can’t help it. This boy is a nuisance. And he’s loud. Even from basketball court with nine other players running by him, shoes squeaking on the shiny hardwood floor, and thousands of cheering college students, Harry can hear this boy nearly shrieking, his laugh more like a cackle than anything.

It’s seriously obnoxious.

17) Promise You’ll Remember That You’re Mine | Explicit | 34564 words

What he doesn’t expect is to see Louis in their bathroom wearing panties. Not even like standard panties, they’re fucking black and sheer so Harry can see Louis’ full arse and there’s even lace trimming the edges. He nearly has a heart attack.

Harry’s face probably looks like a bright red tomato, and if not then the only other option would be that all his blood is going to his dick, because Louis looks like a fucking wet dream.

“Oh, you’re back.” Louis looks as nonchalant as ever, when Harry is over here freaking the fuck out.

18) The Sweetest Incantation | Explicit | 40598 words

Harry is a witch who's still working on developing his powers and Louis is a werecat who falls into his life and turns it upside down. 

19) Kiss Me On The Mouth And Set Me Free (But Please Don't Bite) | Mature | 42074 words

Harry is the CEO of Flora Corp, Louis is his new secretary.

20) Who Would’ve Thought | Explicit | 44275 words | Companion Fic

The idea doesn’t come to Louis until they’ve been at the bungalow for a couple of days. Harry has no idea that he’s going to pop a knot. He’s been living his life with the expectation that he’s going to be a beta, and Louis isn’t going to tell him otherwise.

Louis is an omega, though, and most omegas want to be filled up with a knot, fucked the way their bodies are made to be fucked, and Louis is no different. In ten years he wants to have an alpha waiting for him at home who will hold him down and fuck him exactly the way Louis wants to be fucked without worrying that they’re going to expect him to stay at home, open a joint bank account, raise a litter of babies, cook and clean and, most importantly, be submissive. For that to happen Louis needs an entirely different kind of alpha.

And so the plan is born.

21) Worth Dying For | Explicit | 44906 words

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Louis says, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. In the center of the table, a set of three glossy photos stares up at him, mocking him.

“A security detail is non-negotiable, Louis, you know this,” his mum reminds him, tapping the middle photo with two fingers.

Louis doesn’t look back down at the pictures, gesturing towards them wildly, over-dramatically. “This is not a security detail!” he protests. “This is a lanky college student. In what world do you hire someone like this kid to protect me?”

22) Tangled Up In You | Explicit | 45152 words

Harry blinks once. And blinks again. And says, his voice dangerous: “Niall, did you get me a mail-order bride?”

Because what the actual fuck. It kind of looks like Niall’s just purchased a person. For Harry.

Niall blinks back at him for a few moments, before throwing his head back and howling with laughter. Harry throws a pillow at him. Hard. “No, what the fuck, Harry.”

“A prostitute then?” Harry also doesn't want a prostitute.

“Of course not!”

“A stripper?”

“No!”

Damn, he’s running out of ideas. He settles for launching another pillow at Niall’s head. Niall bats it away easily, still laughing. “Stop!”

“What did you get me, then?!” Niall must hear the tinge of hysteria in his voice, because he’s pulling himself together, trying to stop himself from laughing.

There’s still a big grin on his face, though, when he says, “I got you a professional cuddler.”

A professional…what. “What?”

23) Something In The World Today | Explicit | 48027 words

It shouldn’t be a surprise, the first time that Louis drops to his knees in front of Harry. It shouldn’t be, because it’s been something that Louis has needed for a long time. It shouldn’t be, because he’s been crawling out of his skin for weeks on end. It shouldn’t be, because Harry always makes him feel better. It shouldn’t be, because he’s needed this even when he didn’t know that he needed it.

Somehow, it still is.

24) Amazing Sin | Explicit | 56034 words

The story of Louis ‘Steal Your Man’ Tomlinson.

25) Swim In The Smoke | Explicit | 101778 words

“What about this, Captain?” Liam asks, nudging the boy kneeling between their feet with the toe of his boot. The boy hisses and swipes at him, slurring out something unintelligible around the makeshift gag Niall had to stuff in his mouth. He misses by a mile and tries again, just as ineffectively.

Harry looks down at him, at the way the sun streams over his face and shoulders, at the way the gag stretches his mouth, lips pink and chapped. He’s lithe and pretty, smudged all over with dirt. They had found him tied up below deck, mostly unconscious, next to a barrel full of gold. He’s clearly a prisoner, but there’s something familiar about him, something that niggles at Harry’s brain. Something he can’t quite put his finger on.

“Put him in my cabin,” Harry decides, turning back to deal with the rest of the loot. The boys screams out jumbled curse words at Harry’s back, muffled by the gag, and Harry can’t understand any of it.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[fahcandall]

Fictober 2019 - 6 (FAHC)

Prompt 8: "Can you stay?"

Fandom: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter (Fahc)

Characters/Pairings: Jeremy Dooley, Ryan Haywood, Jeremy Dooley/Ryan Haywood, Michael Jones, Gavin Free, Matt Bragg

Rating: Teen and up

Warnings: Some mature language, gta 5, rpf

...

...

...

Jeremy snuck back in to the penthouse late. It was sometime in the early hours of the morning, late enough he was pretty sure a couple of the cars out there were starting their day rather than ending it. It was later than he'd ever come back to the penthouse since he'd moved in, but he lived here now, they invited him to, and that means he could come and go as he pleased. He hoped. He also didn't want to crash on Matt's couch, because that thing was not as comfortable to sleep on as it was to sit on and play games for way too many hours.

The lights in the penthouse were off when Jeremy opened the door. There was only the dim glow of the city lights below. It was just about enough to see something if you already knew it was there. Which of course didn't help with the shoe Jeremy almost tripped over as soon as he came in the door. He muffled his curse but still refused to turn on the light, trying to be more careful as he walked through the room. About halfway across the room the corner of his eye caught movement against the window glow and he turned to look.

"You could turn on the light you know, it wouldn't bother anyone. Or use your phone."

"My phone's dead." Jeremy dismissed. Shit, was he gonna be in trouble for...well, what could he really be in trouble for? They were criminals, it wasn't like staying out late was even on his top 50 list of crimes. "What's uh, what's up, Ryan?"

"Not much. Can't sleep. What about you?" Now he remembered, the crew had mentioned Ryan's insomnia but he'd never seen evidence of it before.

"I was over at Matt's, playing games, lost track of time." Jeremy watched Ryan move closer, coming toward him, then stopping on the other side of the couch. "Are you, do you usually end up out here? When you can't sleep?" Jeremy asked.

"Sometimes. Sometimes I can stay to my own room, other times, I need to check on things."

"Does that help?" Jeremy couldn't help but ask.

"Sometimes." The tone of Ryan's voice told Jeremy he was lying. Probably having Jeremy here was making it worse. Interrupting whatever sort of routine Ryan tried to use to fall asleep.

"I should probably go. I'm probably not helping you here." Jeremy said. Ryan sat down on the couch suddenly. That was probably a dismissal. Jeremy took a step back, turning to continue towards his room. Then Ryan's voice stopped him  

"Hey, Jeremy, can you-" Ryan took a breath and continued in a smaller voice, unlike anything Jeremy had ever heard from him. "Can you stay? Just for a little bit."

"I-if you want me to?" Jeremy said, more question than answer in his own voice. He'd never seen Ryan act like this before.

"It's just," Ryan's voice was frustrated. "I'm tired but not tired enough. Sometimes, another person convinces my brain I don't have to be on high alert. And it's pretty quiet outside my own head at this time of night." The way Ryan said that didn't make it sound like a good thing.

"Yeah, uh sure. Did you want to like, watch a movie or play a game or something?" Jeremy asked walking around then hesitating by the side of the couch. Ryan shrugged.

"Sure, whatever you want."

Jeremy could feel Ryan's gaze on him as he moved forward to find something mind frantically trying to pick something. Maybe a movie, those were easier to relax to right? Something not too loud, the rest of the penthouse was still sleeping. In theory they were also trying to sleep, or at least relax, so boring was probably okay, but what would Ryan like? And when Jeremy looked at the movies he remembered the little detail that he didn't know movies, never really spent the time to watch them, and so now had no idea what an appropriate movie for this was. Didn't even recognize the names of most of them. Finally he just picked one and turned back to the couch, maybe he should sit on the chair instead? But Ryan had asked him to stay, did that mean sit on the couch, sit near him? Shit.

Jeremy must have stopped to think for too long because Ryan caught his eye and patted the seat beside him. Jeremy started to move without thinking then realized what he was doing and started overanalyzing it again. Did he really mean sit right beside him? He had moved his hand after he patted the seat. But maybe he meant sit at the end of the couch?

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Ryan asked.

"Uh, nothing. Just uh, figuring out where to sit."

"You can sit beside me Jeremy, I won't stab you. Promise."

"Yeah sure," Jeremy said, sitting and making a joke out of it to hide how red his face had gotten for some reason. "Bet you say that to all the people you stab. Oh old lady on the bus, I won't stab you, definitely not, then wham, as soon as she lets her guard down you stab her."

"You don't-" Ryan paused then started to laugh, "Jeremy I do not stab old ladies on busses. Now, sitting at the bus stop… no I'm kidding and you know it. Also, you're not exactly an old lady." Ryan poked at Jeremy's arm to make his point and Jeremy blushed a little more.

…

Jeremy blinked awake, brain still foggy from sleep.

"Now look, asshole, you woke them up. Good going." Jeremy blinked again, seeing Michael and Gavin standing in front of him. He was...on the couch, tired, but he didn't have a headache, but he was sitting up? What…? He felt movement beside him and looked over to see Ryan leaning against him,just starting to wake up. Oh. Yes. Memories of the night before flooded back to him. Ryan asking him to stay up, sitting close enough to touch, talking through one movie then another, neither of which he actually saw. Eventually they must have fallen asleep, but Jeremy didn't know when.

"What the…? Oh." Ryan woke up as groggy as Jeremy had, still leaning on Jeremy as he looked around. Like he was comfortable there.

"Aw Micool, Jeremy's blushing!" Gavin squealed and only then did Jeremy notice the phone held in front of him.

"Gavin, what are you doing?" Jeremy asked. Michael snickered.

"You two looked so cute, I had to take a picture."

"Or twenty." Michael added.

'"Gavin." Jeremy tried to say warningly but Gavin just laughed. "So when did you two get so close?" Gavin asked, backing out of immediate reach, but staying close enough tobe a nuisance. "I've never seen you that deeply asleep Ryan. You were that tired?" Jeremy felt Ryan shrug.

"I guess my brain trusted Jeremy enough to know I didn't need to be guarded and alert." Jeremy blushed more. Did Ryan mean that?  Ryan who never let his guard down. Gavin had worked with Ryan for years but said he'd never seen Ryan fall asleep like that. And yet he had trusted Jeremy, still the new guy in so many ways. And he even said he trusted Jeremy. Ryan didn't trust anyone. At least, everyone said that. Even Ryan said that. So what was Jeremy missing? Why-

"Jeremy." Ryan bumped Jeremy's shoulder to get his attention. "Are you okay? You probably didn't get very good sleep right?"

"No! No, I'm fine, I ah, slept fine. Didn't even notice it was morning."

"You sure?" Ryan pressed.

"Oh, just fucking kiss already!" Michael yelled from in the kitchen.

Jeremy flushed again and flipped Michael off. Michael just laughed.

"You might as well, we already have so much blackmail material on you two."

"Michael, I will murder you. See if I don't." Ryan threatened but Michael just laughed harder.

"Sure go ahead Rye, Gav's already backed up the photos. We'll just add it to the collection of 'Vagabond being a normal person'." This time Ryan flushed and Jeremy stared for a second.

"You know, I could take them out for you, if you like? Put them in an interrogation room until they give us all the photos?"

"Jeremy!" Gavin gasped from near Michael and Ryan laughed.

"Tempting." He admitted. "Very tempting."

[thirstyforred]

I played The Wretched by Chris Bissette [it’s currently in the bundle] and since part of the game is to create a log I guess can share mine. It’s also kinda fun writing exercise even tho I died before I could save myself and the log just ends abruptly. I really recommend this game, especially to if you like things like Alien movies or survival horror in general [or if you’re easily spooked you can imagine your character with GLOOcannon from Prey 2017. GLOOcannon makes everything better]

Day 1, salvage ship The Wretched. Flight Engineer Martin reporting. The other members of the crew are dead and the engines remain non-operational, though ship integrity remains good and life support systems are still active. I successfully jettisoned the intruder from the airlock. With a little luck, I can repair the distress beacon and somebody will pick me up. This is Martin, the last survivor of the Wretched, signing off.

Day 2, salvage ship The Wretched, Flight Engineer Martin reporting. At 0300 fire alarm and fire suppression systems were activated. I started auto diagnosis on all systems but I'm still not sure what caused the fire. The damage is hopefully fixable. That alarm woke me up and I couldn't sleep anymore... I found a journal of A. He wrote like a whole list of things he wants to cook and eat one we get back home. Even here A managed to make something edible out of nothing. I think I was so tired, after waking up in the middle of my sleeping cycle and monitoring all systems for other fires and then reading that damned journal for hours, that- I think I heard something. Something like a whisper coming through the comms. I don't know what was it. Maybe I should also put comms through that diagnosis check? Of other things: water smells kinda like ammonia. The purification system works, just seems to be less efficient. Maybe I should be disgusted by this, I don't know, I'm just too tired to care I guess.

Day 3. I was so wrong. I was in the Mess trying to eat something when I heard that scraping sound from the corridor. I managed to duck behind the counter before it reached the open door. Thank gods, it didn't decide to actually enter! It moved past, somewhere in the direction of the Bridge, and then, I think entered the vents. It certainly knows I'm here.

Day 4. I'm carrying weapons, electric baton and a handgun, on me all the time, even tho I know it will only slow down that thing. But also I can't spend all the time locked somewhere wishing for it to be gone. So, one of the things I did today was checking my food supplies. There wasn't much to begin with, and now, that mold took over, there's even less. I can't exactly dump it, so I locked it in one of the cabinets. Maybe mold won't spread. I also managed to lock myself on the Bridge. Or it was that alien. I'm starting to think that it was the thing that I heard over the comms 2 days ago - if it can access and operate the comm system why would it be able to mess with the doors? It might be also responsible for the failure of the generator that happened 4 hours later. And failing of the backup generator as well. I had to use parts of the backup generator to fix the main one. So in case, the power goes out again it goes all down... Yeah. But after another fire alarm, I straight up jettisoned that section of the ship. It was the Crew Quarters, so all that's lost in just my sleeping bag. Maybe the alien asshole was caught and is now drifting out of the station. I can only hope.

Day 5. I spend the whole morning trying to pull the engine together. I may have an engineer as part of my title, but honestly, rocket science is beyond me. I'm afraid I only made more mess. The airlock I jettisoned alien thought the first time is still unsealed. The one in Crew Quarters locked back properly, but that one I just didn't manage to fix it properly. There's now only a single door between me, the interior of the ship, and that thing. Since it already got inside once, I guess it's only a matter of time till it finds a way to walk around it again or pry it open, and then I'll be the one that's jettisoned. There's nothing I can really do at this point.

Day 6. There's still a lot of internal damages I'm tracking down and fixing. Tiny but vital things. Like the door to the Docking Bay that M jacked to give us more time running away. It worked, even if soon later alien discovered that it prefers vents anyway. Part of the unblocking process involved cleaning whatever was left of M there - I already stalled long enough. When I finally went back to the Bridge I got to hear the last seconds of signal from some far-off vessel. I couldn't signal them back, I lost it. "Dear listeners..." they said. Might be some audio drama, sounds like fun. Also, It got back on the ship. Persistent beast. I hid in the locker when I heard it moving in the vent above. Either it missed me or just really loves to fuck with me, because it didn't immediately go for my very obvious hiding spot. But it knocked one of the desk lamps with its tail and I think got spooked. It ran back to the vents, which I soldered as soon as I was sure it's not nearby. Should have done it days ago.

Day 7. And that's a full week of living with an extra passager on my ship. At this point, I maybe should give it a name... I almost got a heart attack when I saw it on the camera feed of the corridors I have access to on the Bridge. It moves like a spider. Mr. Spider. Before it all, K told me about a children's book she heard once about. One of the spooky kind. I hate those so I kindly told her to fuck off, but now looking at that jumpy camera feed of Mr. Spider - how can stories for kids be worse than reality?

Day 8. I can no longer focus on anything. My every thought is like 'It's here! It's here!'. I'm so tired. It was here for the past week. But I got to do some spacewalking, first and let's hope the last time. I wasn't sure what to do to ensure that Mr. Spider won't try to stop me from my attempt to boost the antenna, but I opened the mold cabinet in the Mess and it seems that awful smell managed to get its attention. The antenna works, now to repair and activate the distress beacon.

Day 9. The Mess is unsalvagable. It looks like Mr. Spider decided that it's its nest now. Good thing I already moved all my things to the Bridge. Since Mr. Spider seems to be preoccupied with the mold cabinet, I decided to take care of the last of the bodies in the storage room in Engineering. That's the place we wanted to hole up in, but the vents... It doesn't like the ones there that much - too near the cold hull of the ship if I had to guess - but used them anyway to get to us. Now I also had to squeeze there to fix some cables that might help me with boosting that beacon. It was an experience. I still periodically check sensors and monitors to see if by chance there are some other vessels nearby. Of course, that's mostly wasting my time.

Day 10.

I spend some extra hours on the beacon instead of sleeping and I managed to finally fix it! Now all I have to do is wait for someone to catch my signal. I soldered the Mess door so it has only the vents if it wants to get back inside. I did it mostly for my own benefit, so when I'm going around trying to fix this rooting ship I don't have to look at things that are inside. I refuse to even guess what Mr. Spider is doing there. If it's really building a nest or something like that, it would mean that I'm the asshole for invading its territory. But on the other hand, it killed the whole crew of The Wretched, I would say that's a bit too extreme reaction on Mr. Spider's part. That being said I decided to make the list of my top 5 hiding places:

the Bridge - the real commanding center, now with soldered vents

storage room next to the Medical Bay - small and cozy, perfect for napping

Crew Quarter - already jettisoned once, so maybe Mr. Spider wouldn't look for me there

office in Life Support - mostly because it is Life Support and I would like to believe it will support my life

life capsule that's broken and can't leave its dock

I don't really intend to move out of the Bridge, but man I need some backup plans... I somewhat prepared them all today - I had to use K's keycard to get into her office in Life Support.

Day 11. I don't know how, but Mr. Spider managed to detach the whole module holding Crew Quarter from the rest of the ship. Now it's just drifting nearby. I don't know if it read my list of potential hiding places or just decided that it no longer vibes with it. Shame that the Mess didn't drift away as well. It's weird enough that it wasn't the part of the Crew module in the first place. Mr. Spider would be pissed that its nest-mess got jettisoned away... Sometimes I wonder what it calls itself. I guess something less stupid than Mr. Spider or Gorlam the Brave, my old teddy who now drifts somewhere in the space. RIP Gorlam. And I guess soon RIP me... There are weird noises in the Life Support. Not the crazy creature from outer space kind of noises, more like the machinery is failing and there's no one with enough knowledge to fix it. I'm starting to think that lying on my resume was a bad idea... At this point, I might be a better funeral official than an engineer... Today I jettisoned the last bodies. There wasn't really that much to say, so I just mostly cried.

Day 12. Gravity drive crashed today. It was real hell to drag myself all the way to it and fix it, but I managed. I should get a badge or something. The rest of the day I spend monitoring the beacon signal. It looks good. Like it might actually work kind of good.

Day 13. I fixed one of the small leaks of oxygen in the hull. I wonder how I didn't see it before. Spend a few hours walking cluelessly around Engineering trying to fix anything. I even finally cleaned M's rifle that I found by him, but I have seen no sign of Mr. Spider in the past 2 days. I wonder... [log abruptly ends here]

[kpoprunsmylifenow]

I Wanna Make You Mine Chapter 8

You’d went and saw Yongguk after you met with Jihun about the deal. Once he assured you that everything is fine, so you sent a couple of your lower guys to take the shipment back home. Pulling up at the new base for B.A.P, you made sure to take in as much as you could. There was a gate to get in, and a tower in the back that overlooked the driveway to get to the house. Getting out, you were greeted by Zelo and Jongup hugging you tightly. You laughed and hugged them back.

“You can’t be gone for that long ever again.” Jongup said as he looked you over. “Guk said you’ve been having trouble sleeping.”

“I was.” You ruffled his hair as you saw Zelo greet the rest of your men. “But Inseong helped.” You smiled and walked up the stairs to go inside. When you entered you knew Jihun would be taking the place in, so you weren’t that focused on memorizing the place. “Where’s everyone else?” You asked as you sat down in the kitchen.

“Himcham is with Youngjae for a shipment.” Daehyun said as he walked in. He ruffled your hair and said hello to everyone else. “Yongguk is getting off the phone with his parents.” You nodded and pulled some water out of the fridge.

You talked with everyone till Himcham and Youngjae got home. You were leaving when you saw them near the back of your vehicle, suspicious, you watched them from the porch. They’d obviously placed something on it, so you knew you’d need to have it checked before you took it anywhere. You made eye contact with Jihun, he nodded and ushered everyone to the car.

“You guys are taking too long.” Heejun whined as he pulled your arm towards the car. You laughed and shook your head.

“Bye guys.” You waved and climbed into the car as you waved at the two males walking towards the house.

“See you soon.” You heard Youngjae say and you sighed. It was gonna be a hectic few days.

---

Getting up the next morning, you’d received a phone call from Zelo that morning. Calling him back, he answered. 

“3 days.” Was all he said and then he hung up. Sighing, you rubbed your face.

“It’s too fucking early for this.” You rolled out of bed and went in search of caffeine. You found the kitchen empty when you entered. You sat on the counter, head against the cabinets as you waited for you coffee to be brewed. Hearing someone come inside, you peeked open an eye to see Jihun coming into the kitchen. 

“You’re up early.” He laughed a little.

“I know.” You sighed and grabbed your coffee as the machine beeped. “Zelo called earlier.” You rubbed your face. “3 days.” You looked up as his face went stone cold.

“You need to talk to VAV.” He said as he pulled stuff out for breakfast.

“I know.” You groaned and flopped beside your coffee. “I’ll be calling St. Van later when you go talk to some of the other guys.” You said. “I’ll probably be going to the club to talk with Ace to talk about the plan. Tomorrow we need to call everyone for a meeting to make a more in depth plan with everyone in it.” He nodded.

“I’m pretty sure that some of the people you asked about an alliance came back and they said they would. They know that B.A.P. is a lost cause with all the problems they’ve had recently.” You nodded and pulled away from the counter.

“Make sure you get their names to me by noon so that I can call them too, and go meet with them if I need to.” You walked back up to your office. “And bring me some food when it’s done please!”

---

Pulling up to the club in your own car was weird. Usually you had some of your crew with you, but they each were meeting up with your alliances to talk to them for you. You were surprised that a lot of the people that had sided with you and not Yongguk, but you understand why they did. Yongguk had been having problems long before you knew his plan to take over your group. Getting out of the car, you saw one of VAV’s guards stand by your car. You nodded your head at him and walked right past the bouncer to go inside.

You heard a couple of yells but they were silenced when you shot them a look. Walking to the stairs to go to the VIP section, you weren’t stopped as you walked passed the bouncer. You were almost upstairs when someone grabbed your wrist. Turning you saw it was a bouncer. Rolling your eyes, “Let me go.”

“Ma'am, you're not allowed up here.” You almost kicked him down the stairs, but you refrained. 

“I’m 100% sure that I am.” You said as you turned around to face him. “So I would let go of me before I fucking Spartan kick you down these stairs.” You smirked and he reluctantly let you go. Seeing that Lou was at the top of the stairs, you continued your way up.

“I see that you will continually get stopped by our bouncers.” You laughed and pushed him away. 

“It seems like I’ll continually threaten your bouncers.” The both of you walked to the bar and you grabbed another water. 

“Do you not drink?” He asked. “Cause every time you’ve been here I’ve never seen you drink at all.”

“I don’t usually drink. When I drink, I get black out drunk.” You laughed as you grabbed the water bottle from the bartender. “Who else is here?” “Well Ace is running late. He was at the club on the other side of town. Ziu and Baron were down on the bottom floor but they’re dealing with some things.” You nodded and leaned back against the bar as you faced towards the crowd.

“Why aren’t you down there with them?” You asked as you looked over at him.

“I already handled it. Baron and Ziu are down there to fix him up before they take him to St. Van.” You nodded and a comfortable silence settled between the two of you, well as silent as it can get in a club with music going on. Then a guy came up to you, you rolled your eyes and sighed.

“Hey. Are you here alone?” You looked him up and down. “And why aren’t you drinking? A pretty lady like you should have at least one drink already.” You shook your head.

“Listen guy I’m not interested.” You said as you took a drink from your water. “And I don’t drink so, no I don’t need a drink.”

“Aw, come on now.” You rolled your eyes.

“Guy I already said I’m not interested.” You sat up straighter.

“Listen-” But before he could finish, you kicked him away from you. You stood up and crouched down.

“I told you twice already. I’m not interested.” You poured your water over him. “So maybe you should sober up.” Shaking your head you went back to your seat. Lou had another bottle of water. 

“Well I see that you can definitely handle a couple of drunk guys.” You laughed and pulled your jacket closer to you.

“Well duh.” You laughed as you leaned back again. “I didn’t get to where I am just because of my family.” You saw Ziu and Baron coming up the stairs. “Ziu and Baron are done with that guy.” You nodded your head back to the two as the came closer. Ziu hugged you when he got close.

“Hi Y/N.” He said as Baron whispered something to Lou. He nodded and pulled out his phone. “I’m guessing that Ace still isn’t here yet.” “You’d be correct.” You laughed as you hugged Baron hello. You moved to Ace’s office, since you’d been hit on by 2 other guys while you were waiting for Ace to arrive. Propping up on the couch, Baron put your feet in his lap.

“How’s the plan with Yongguk going?” Ziu asked as you tried not to fall asleep.

“The other guys in my crew went to meet up with the other groups that have sided with us. We will have a meeting tomorrow to finalize the plan since Zelo told us that we have 3 days to prepare.” You heard the door open, seeing that Ace was walking in with a girl behind him.

“Jisoo please, I will look into it when I’m done with this.” She made eye contact with you.

“Sir, these needs to be dealt with now.” You sat up as they walked farther into the room.

“Jisoo.” He turned to look at her. “I will deal with it when I’m done with this meeting. They aren’t going to die in the 5 minutes it’s going to take for me to do this.” You saw her look at you again. “Stop glaring at a boss.” She immediately looked down. You laughed a little.

“Ace go deal with that. I can wait another 5 minutes for you to deal with your girls.” You said as you stood up. “I’m sure that it’ll just be an inconvenience to make them wait.” You said as you threw your empty bottle away. He sighed, clapped your shoulder and walked out with them. 

You heard her whisper under her breath, “Stay away from him.” You turned towards her. “Love, I suggest you shut your mouth or your boss here is going to have one less girl under him.” You stepped up to her and grabbed her chin. “Next time you say something I won’t be so kind.” And you let her go. Ace watched the both of you and dragged her away. 

---

When you got back to your house, you flopped onto the couch.

“You okay?” You heard Dongwon ask.

“Yeah, I’m just really tired.” You said as you shoved your head into the pillow.

“Take a nap. The meeting isn’t going to start for another couple of hours.” He said as he pulled off your shoes. 

“Thanks D.” You said as you yawned. “You’re welcome boss. I’ll make sure to wake you before anyone gets here.” You nodded and fell asleep quickly.

When you felt someone shaking you, you groaned and turned away.

“Y/N, VAV’s here.” You heard Jihun say as you groaned again.

“Can’t I just sleep for a while?” You heard Ayno laugh as they came into your house. Sighing, you sat up. You saw them walk by the living room, Baron coming in as Inseong walked the rest of them to the meeting room.

“You okay?” He asked as he ran his hand through your hair.

“Yeah. Jihun was waking me up from my nap.” You said as rubbed your eyes. You stood up, asking Jihun to go grab your shoes. “You can go to the meeting room, I’ll be there in a minute.” You said as you clapped his shoulder, thanking Jihun. 

You went upstairs to grab some stuff for the meeting from your office. You found that Heejun was walking back down the stairs.

“I grabbed your things for the meeting.” You smiled and thanked him. You heard the door open again.

“It seems like people are starting to arrive.” He put his arm over your shoulders.

“Well, lets go greet the crowd then.”

---

You met up with Zelo and Jongup the day before Yongguk was planning to attack. 

“Hi guys.” You smiled as you hugged them. “How are things going?” You asked.

“They’re good. Jongup knows.” Zelo said as you looked over at him. He smiled and looked away.

“Everything?” “Everything.” You nodded and looked at Jongup. 

“Are you willing to go against the men you see as brothers?” You asked as Jongup looked at you.

“When they were deciding, I was very against it. But I feel the reason Yongguk picked you was because of the deal your brother and him had before he died. They wanted to merge.” This surprised you. “But obviously no one else knew but when you took over the business he knew that it wasn’t an option anymore.” You nodded.

“How much do you know about this merge?” “As much as I’ve heard, your brother was gonna marry you to Yongguk.” You looked at him quickly. “Your father had been thinking of having an arranged marriage for you but then he changed his mind when you showed promise in this field. So he told Yongguk that he wouldn’t force you to marry him.” Jongup fidgeted with his rings.

“So when your brother offered it up, Yongguk jumped on it immediately. He’s planning on killing your crew and then giving you the ultimatum to either marry him or die.”

[happyharryscurls]

End of the Affair - Part 14

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

Harry and I had been enjoying ourselves whilst on tour. It had been 10 days since I came out to visit him. Every morning we’d wake up naked, order room service, binge watch someone on Netflix’s and then we’d get ready for the day. In the afternoon we would spend it with the band, crew or some of his friends if they were around. Sometimes we would try and hide the relationship and other times we wouldn’t care. It depended on where we were. I loved watching him get up on stage every night, dancing about he had never been happier and I loved that he was this happy.

“Last night,” I said wrapping my arms around his body after he came out of his shower.

“Last night.” He said looking in the mirror.

“How you feeling?”

“A little sad that’s it’s all over.” He turned around to face me and wrapped his arms around me. “I’m looking forward to going back with you.” He kissed the top of my head.

“Yeah?” I smiled and kissed him. “I’m just going to jump in the shower.” I said before leaving him.

I came out of the bathroom to see Harry standing over the couch with his arms rest on the back. “What’s wrong love?” I said walking over towards him.

“Dan rang you.” I looked directly at me. “I answered.” I looked at him confused, I didn’t know what he wanted me to say. “He was asking if you had changed your mind. He was trying to persuade you to go back to him.”

“And what did you say?”

“I said nothing. What was I meant to say?”

“Fuck off.” I laughed.

“This isn’t funny.”

“Harry I don’t know what you want me to say. I haven’t spoken to him since the last time I saw him, I ignore all of his calls and texts because I don’t want to speak to him. I want him to leave me alone but he doesn’t seem to get the picture. He needs to be told to fuck off because I can’t be fucked with all the talk from him.” I turned my back away from Harry getting changed.

“Why is he so fixated on you?”

“I don’t know Harry maybe because I’m his wife and I’ve left him for another man.”

“But why does he think he can ring you?”

“I have no idea.”

“Are you keeping something from me?”

“What?” I bark at him.

“Please just answer me.”

“Are you taking the piss? Are you asking me if I’m lying to you?”

“Have you spoken to him since you’ve been out here?”

“Not once! Why the fuck are you asking me this?”

“Why else would he be contacting you to get back with him?”

“Have you ever thought that he might want me back? Or that he might want to try and drive a wedge between us? Or that he wants to ruin us?” I shake my head. “Harry you are letting him fucking win. I don’t know how many times I can stand in front of you and tell you I love you! I want you! It’s why I am divorcing him!” He ran his fingers his hair clearly stressed. “Baby you have to trust me.” I placed my hands on his back.

“I do.”

“No you don’t. You think I’m lying to you and I would never.”

“I’m sorry. I just can’t get what he said out of my head.”

“You need to otherwise you will let him win.”

“I’m sorry.” He hugs me.

“Go get ready it’s the last night.” I said before living him to start getting ready myself.

————————————————————

Not long after my honeymoon Harry had gone on tour, within a week of getting married he was already packing to travel the world once again. Seeing constant updates of him on his world tour did kill me ever so slightly. I wanted to be able to see him every day, travel alongside his and wake him next to him. And I just couldn’t. It was now more than ever I regretted saying yes, I regretted saying I do. But in the back of my head I knew it wouldn’t work between Harry and I. If he wanted it, he would have stopped me from marrying Dan. Yet, he would ask me to come to visit him. In a random city in a random country, he would call me up saying he needed me in China, Italy or Australia and I would come running. I was so many in love with this man. I would drop everything within a heartbeat. I would drop my husband.

“I’ve made some breakfast.” Harry had a week break from the tour, he had finished the European leg and was about to travel straight over to Australia. Before he did so he rented the most beautiful villa, not a soul was there just us two. Every morning we would make breakfast, normally some fruit. We would go for a swim then have lunch. He would try and write songs whilst I would read a book and in the evenings we would try our best to cook some Italian dish.

“How is it getting along.” I said walking past him with a glass of wine as he sat on the porch humming and playing and wrote in his book.

“Great thank you.”

“Have you got a name for it?”

“Lovely.”

“What’s it about?”

“You.” He said beaming.

“Play it.” I insisted. And he did. It was lovely in every way.

————————————————————

I stood in the audience, alongside Jeff I was nervous for him. After nearly six months traveling and performing it was all coming to an end. How much our lives had both changed in this time. I had a newlywed when he left now a soon to be divorcee watching the love of my life performing on stage.

“This is a new one, I hope you like it.” He said so quietly into the mic.  I looked over at Jeff who was just as confused as I was. It wasn’t the usual set Harry played but then the tune played out. It was lovely. And I balled like a baby the whole time he sang it. And it was over the tour was over.