#mori. and the chain of abuse is

[iamthemess]

THE ABUSER CHAIN PARALLELS NOOOO

I just had to physically stop writing one of my Fics because I accidentally paralleled Dazai's action with Mori's from another fic I'm writing T-T he was speaking to Akutagawa too!

Dazai: What do you want?

Mori: Is there something wrong with wanting to just catch up?

vs

Akutagawa: What do you want?

Dazai: Am I not allowed to ask how you are?

These were both meetings after years apart. I can't do this shit anymore. I'm going to cry. They aren't even from the same fic. I cannot explain the horror I felt when I realised this, so it probably seems like I'm overreacting, but I found it truly heart breaking.

On a different note, I do have a series on ao3 where I purposefully put Dazai in Mori's position, it's a little horrific. kind of dead dove: do not eat kinda stuff :D

[tenderheartedtheodore]

you've all heard of the abuse cycle (mori → dazai → ryuu → kyouka) and the savior chain (natsume → oda → dazai → atsushi → kyouka) now get ready for the unsaved trio (club)

watching people get saved and brought to the light while you're still in the dark and probably will always be there must be tough huh

(very honorable mention: kouyou! i added her in a reblog.) (she got very close to being saved, once. then it was taken from her.)

[navigatebetweenthelines]

Because a lot of you seem to be conflating intelligence to mean a single thing im going ro spell it out for you

DAZAI!

quick on his feet. He reads body language pretty well. he knows what to expect. His disadvantage is that he tends to project his own expectations onto others and this clouds his judgement. He is "intelligent" in the way thar he has a great capacity to improvise in tricky situations. He doesn't know everything he just always makes sure to have a plan B C D E F and G. Thats it

RANPO!

he knows all the facts about any given situation. His biggest disadvantages are that his judgement is shoddy at best and he doesn't always know what to do with that information. He is used to disregarding information for the sake of peace but that often means he ends up too close to the wrong people. He forgives EVERYONE he gives everyone a second chance. For as much as he sees the bad in a person he sees the good. He is unreliable and inconsistent. The good this about him is that as soon as he realizes his mistake he never makes it again.

POE!

JUSTTT as smart as Ranpo. He can GATHER as much information as Ranpo but it takes more effort. He has a lot of resources and technical know how. He knows technology, he knows politics, international law and most importantly people. His biggest advantage is that he knows exactly how to pressure people into doing what he wants. His mysteries are tailor made so that people can only escape when they realize what he wants them to. It is becuase of this that he saw society as a farce. That's why Ranpo and him are such a good team. Ranpo can see everything and Poe knows what to do with it.

Louisa!!!

She can slow down time when she's focused THAT'S her ability. She is capable of thinking of every possibility and coming up with dependable statistics. She's smarter than Dazai but less of an asset because her analysis relies on what she is aware of. In the world of BSD there is ALWAYS something no one is aware of. She isn't as capable of recovering quickly from a miscalculation so she really only has one shot.

Chuuya!!!

He doesnt need to use his intelligence most of the time because he can pretty much brute force his way out of most things. His intellegence relies on instinct. He has GREAT instincts. He knows when a situation has gone sour. Of course he doesnt usually verbalize it because with Dazai he doesn't need to and when he's alone why would he announce it to an enemy. He knows when he's safe and when he isn't. His biggest disadvantage is that he doesn't always listen to those instincts. In terms of priorities he almost always puts himself last and that leads to a lot of problems.

NIKOLAI!!!

Nikolai is similar to Chuuya except a bit more extreme because no one's life is his priority. His motivations are unclear and he always goes for the most imoral option. He isn't concerned with a specific desired outcome it is the inconsistency of his own actions that drive him.

FYODOR!!!

Kinda like Poe, in that he knows how to work people, but to a lesser extent and a little like the chameleon that Dazai can be but to a greater extent: he KNOWS people. He knows what a person wants more than anything and he promises that to them.

His biggest advantage is that he is smart enough to ally himself with people who have nothing else to live for. Sigma, Nikolai, Bram (before Aya), Nathaniel and Fukuchi are all outsiders. They are alone but desperately want to feel like they belong. Fyodors biggest disadvantage is that if those people find belonging elsewhere his influence on them shatters. He seems to be aware of that? Idk it's too soon to tell.

Mori!!!

He isn't crazy smart. He's just sadistic and cruel. He picks easy targets (children) and slowly takes away their agency. He undoes them until they have nothing to live for and they then become perfectly obedient adults. His biggest disadvantage is that he relies on the chain of abuse and that isn't sustainable as a dynamic for power. Chuuya and Akutagawa have no one above them to preassure them to listen to orders now that Dazai is gone. Also the extreme amounts of abuse he relies on is impossible to ditch out to EVERYONE. That's why he relied on the chain of abuse but that's failing. Mori isn't smart. He's a coward. He takes the shortest path no matter the resistance.

FUKUCHI!!

isn't smart either. He is just THE BEST chameleon. He hid in plain sight. He knows war and war tactics. He's a great spy and facilitating a strong bond with the target is a spy strategy.

They are not all the same stop conflating their perspectives as "knows everything". It leads to a lot of misunderstandings and a lot of misinformation. DAZAI IS NOT RANPO! He doesnt know everything. He's just really good at pretending he does.

[fudanshipoe]

bungo stray dogs, themes of trauma, the abuse cycle, and how ranpo's disability+autistic trauma is an integral part of untold origins ★

🦴 abilities represent trauma and trauma responses

🦴 trauma as a theme of cycles

- the abuse cycle

- the "savior" cycle

🦴 the government, war, and society

- yosano, mori

- verlaine, chuuya

- fukuchi, teruko

- the role of the government

🦴 untold origins

- ranpo's ability is autistic masking

- his trauma

- untold origins through the lens of autistic trauma

wc; 2.6k (Origins quotes included in pictures only but I explain them briefly)

(this is also crossposted on Twitter, this is a long read format)

In this I want to cover trauma, and by extent mental illness, as an overarching theme in BSD, and how it portrays the cycles and effect of abuse, war, and is an exploration of traumatized individuals operating in a world not built for them. Additionally, Untold Origins is about autistic trauma.

Despite the approach of supernatural themes, Bungo Stray Dogs lends itself heavily to the discussion of trauma, mental illness, and its effects. One of the most notable themes in Bungo Stray Dogs is trauma and abuse, but it extends beyond the main abuse chain that most recognize to partially originate from Mori and end with Kyouka (Mori, Dazai, Akutagawa, and Kyouka, to be specific). There is a large focus on the abuse cycle and how trauma affects people. Emphasis is also placed on the specific structural abuse and violence of society within the world of BSD. The complexities of the abuse cycle are highlighted in organizations such as the Port Mafia, which is by far the most recognizable example within the series, but the government as another authoritative state plays another role in the cycle. BSD shows its readers various depictions of how trauma will manifest or affect two people who encounter the same thing. BSD shows a very honest depiction of mental illness in general, but it's specifically in how trauma affects the characters that these themes become integral to the story.

To start off the actual analysis, abilities themselves are representative of trauma responses. They arise from high stress situations in order for the user to have a protective mechanism for themself, uncanny to how actual trauma responses develop. Whether you think it is non-exclusive because abilities are based upon literature, many if not all of the characters’ abilities parallel their trauma. This is highlighted with tons of the characters, obviously, but I'll only point out a few because a separate analysis would be needed for every ability in the series (I want to one day, but not now). Each ability exhibits what each ability user needed in order to survive. Atsushi was a victim of child torture from what could have been birth, or at least since coming into the orphanage, to young adulthood, and he needed to become something to combat it. Beast Beneath the Moonlight is an ability that allows Atsushi to become something near invulnerable, with his impenetrable fur, regeneration, and the claws that cut through abilities themself. No Longer Human reflects how Dazai never allows anyone to get close to him, how he always keeps his guard up, how he never allows himself the vulnerability of being seen or touched. Both literally and metaphorically. Akuatagwa, similar to Atsushi, growing up in the slums needed a way to protect himself, Gin, and the other children around him. His ability is one that I feel is the most obvious with its connection to his trauma, as it is so important in depicting his relationship with Dazai and his own ability, though that is more about his coat itself than explicitly Rashomon. He only had the clothes on his back to protect him, so that is what manifested, the ability to control and kill his enemies with what little shield he had against the world. These will be the only ones I highlight in this section as they're some “main” examples and this is not meant to be exclusively on what the ability represents for individual characters. There are also plenty of characters that we can only speculate on, as we don't know much about their past, if at all many of them.

The cycle of abuse is the main theme present under the topic of trauma and how it relates to BSD's story. The most notable abuse chain that runs from Mori, to Dazai, to Akuatagwa, and finally ending with Kyouka is easily the most recognizable example of this. Whether you believe Mori's relationship with Dazai, and affect on him, was inherently classified as child abuse is irrelevant here and up to interpretation, I suppose, as a lot of people seem to believe so for some reason. Regardless, you cannot deny that the lessons of optimal solutions, needing to live for a purpose, and harsh treatment runs in this line of mentor/mentee relationships.

This is also the case between Mori and Yosano, though I'm not sure how much Mori would constitute as a “mentor” to Yosano over just being her superior, considering his relationship and treatment of Yosano is vastly different compared to Dazai. The cycles of abuse is not only present within the mentor/mentee cycle of BSD either, another major example is how many characters treat others based upon how they would treat themself, and this treatment arises from a place of projection. In the Dark Era, Mori acts according to his own judgment, assuming that Dazai will not act adversely based upon the shared qualities he sees of himself in Dazai. A shared logistical, observant brain and their ability to navigate a situation through predicting and utilizing their pawns. Dazai trains Akutagawa the way he does because he believes it is what Akuatagwa needs in order to be successful and survive.

Kouyou is a very great instance of this, too. The Port Mafia is a root of much of the abuse taking place within the story of Bungo Stray Dogs, and Kouyou shows this the best, aside from characters like Dazai and Akutagawa. This is where I want to specify that Mori is not the root cause or direct start of the abuse cycle within the series, as the Port Mafia itself was a tool of organizational abuse from the start. The Port Mafia has always used tactics of aggression and suppression as an operation, however, there is a stark difference between the Old Boss and Mori on how this force is used. There is no real difference on how they affect the Port Mafia individually, except the methods used and the tighter reign of control Mori uses compared to the reckless abandonment for critical thought towards the end for the Old Boss. It's an inherently corrupt organization despite the importance it holds in the balance of Yokohama. Kouyou was in the Mafia from childhood, and when she lost the hope of being able to escape that world, she lost her trust in both the organization and the greater world of people. This is the reason that she pushes her own beliefs onto Kyouka and tries so desperately to keep her in the mafia. Her disdain for hope and recognition of herself in Kyouka is the causation for her to attempt to drill this mindset into Kyouka.

Kouyou isn't the only one who projects herself onto Kyouka specifically either, as Akutagawa follows the lessons he has learned and forces his beliefs of giving Kyouka's life a “reason” through her ability and killing ability. Which is exactly what he learned through his years in the Port Mafia as Dazai's mentee. Another example of a character projecting their own traumas onto someone they recognize themself in is very obviously Verlaine, through the events of him forcing Chuuya to his side because of his thought process.

There is a common justification that many of the characters make that they are doing what needs to be done. There are many other examples that could be made from the series, but all of this is to say that there is a large representation of the idea that “hurt people hurt people”. It's what the abuse cycle is on an interpersonal level. The actions taken are not excused by a victim’s own past, however it is a very real depiction of the abuse cycle and its effects in the series.

There is some hope to be found though as the parallel to this is being “saved”. Exemplified through the Armed Detective Agency as a whole, it ends up being essentially a safe haven for many of the members. Earlier I mentioned Kyouka, and she is specifically helped by Atsushi. I really don't want to refer to this as a savior cycle because it's really not, they're not all “saviors”, I just don't really have a better name for it.

The best examples for the roots of this cycle in the series are Fukuzawa and Oda, though they are naturally not the only cause for the chain of events within this cycle of influence. Fukuzawa brings me back to the topic of the Armed Detective Agency, which was established in the first place in order to help Ranpo and others. He left his influence on Ranpo first in Untold Origins, and Yosano when the two are able to get her away from Mori, but he also is the first in the chain that impacted Oda (though not the only), another important figure in this theme. He is the person that is able to plant a moral seed in Dazai and change the course of his life, and he was the only one able to do this. This brings me back around to Atsushi, who after being taken into the ADA by Dazai is able to save Kyouka, Lucy, and Sigma in one way or another.

It is important to highlight the Decay of Angels arc and portraying the tragic results of war. The ones I'm going to discuss are Fukuchi, Fukuzawa, Yosano, Mori, and Teruko as participants of war, Verlaine and Chuuya as the result of the government experimentation after the war, and then Tachihara from an outsider's perspective because of his brother. There is limited information that we have on The Great War itself, but what we do know is that it was a fight between ability user organizations and for the use of abilities in warfare. It is shown to be the cause of much of the suffering of many characters in the series, whether it is as a participant or a result of the inherent tragedy of war. Yosano was a child soldier exploited by Mori, who was able to use his position to prove his thesis for the beneficial use of abilities in warfare. It's unclear to me whether it was issued from upper levels, but his Infantry Division was for the purpose of proving what you could harness with abilities and warfare. This is not the only time that ability experimentation resulted during/from The Great War either, both Verlaine and Chuuya were a result of ability research and singularity creation. You could also infer that The Hunting Dogs project, though it is not confirmed (I think?), is a result of this as well. All of this to show the role that the government plays in the war, and alongside the damage that war already brings the government is shown to prey on the vulnerable within.

Fukuchi is probably the most noteworthy example of war and trauma in BSD, as he is the one who enacts the greatest damage in order to stop another war to his knowledge. His entire motivation for creating the DOA and bringing calamity was to prevent a repeat of what he had witnessed in the battlefield. Though he also has personal beliefs for world peace from the beginning, it grew to be more than that. The war intrinsically changed him due to the trauma, and soldier’s PTSD is naturally a common thing. The war changed Yosano as well, and while the two had very different circumstances, they carry the weight of their sins years later. Teruko was essentially born from war itself, and similar to Atsushi, she was forced to become something or someone that was able to fight, hence her ability forcing maturity and age. Teruko's ability itself is an example of how intense or prolonged trauma can cause a person to force self preservation in the face of it as a tactic to survive. Many of the characters show this, but it is especially prevalent with Fukuchi and Teruko because of the war. The entire arc brings into question the role of the government in war, corrupt power, the tragedy of war, and the point of it in the first place.

I'm making a seperate section to talk about Ranpo's ability, Untold Origins, and autistic trauma. Ranpo is the only character based on an author who does not have a literal ability, and I believe his lack of ability and insistence on keeping the illusion up is reminiscent of autistic masking. As to why I think he is autistic outside of the context of Origins, please refer to this thread .

Masking is camouflaging autistic traits in order to appeal to neurotypical or allistic (non-autistic) expectations. This could be internalizing discomfort, suppressing behaviors, copying others’ behavior in order to “fit in”, or an array of examples of forcing yourself out of your nature. Long-term masking can lead to extreme damage to your mental health, it can cause burnout, distressed behavior (meltdowns, shutdowns), issues with sense of self, etc.

Ranpo doesn’t mask very much in the present canon, he has a support system with his friends and family in the ADA where he is not judged for his autistic traits or behavior. Yet he keeps up the illusion of being an ability user partially for his own sake, but mostly to appear a certain way for the Agency and others. His ability is the only mask he keeps up, and the reason for this is the same reason he got it in the first place. Ranpo had to deal with the world outside of himself not accepting him for the way he is, and this is specifically because of his autistic traits. His false ability was essentially given to him by Fukuzawa as a way to quell his frustrations with the world, an explanation to Ranpo for why he is the way he is, because the world didn't understand the way he was and vice versa. He does seem to mask his autistic traits in Untold Origins, however, both due to his experiences he talks about and his parents. Masking can be traumatic, growing up in a world not built for you is traumatic, and the culmination of it all is what leads to Ranpo’s meltdown. Being autistic is not inherently traumatic, but the instability of day to day life can even be a causation for it, and this is the case for Ranpo. He goes about the story assuming that he will get adverse reactions if he speaks up or acts like himself, showing specifically his autistic traits, and this is the reason that he masks. Like any other autistic person, he masks in order to survive situations or to avoid confrontation over it when he never intended it. He was already a sheltered kid, and so he was raised with the deliberate suppression of his autistic traits, to which he cannot control and that cannot be separated from him. Even if it was an effort to protect him by his parents, it had negative consequences on Ranpo. Growing up that sheltered is damaging enough but it is dire to understand that this is in relation to Ranpo's being autistic as well, so he was thrust into a world that already did not understand him as a young autistic person after he lost his parents, an added trauma on top of the loss.

(below are the quotes I was referring/alluding to)

(In order is Ranpo's meltdown scene, an example of the double empathy problem (difficulties due in part due to a mutual lack of understanding when socializing between autistics/allistics because of the way we experience the world internally/externally) in which Ranpo looks at the same thing as someone else but they percieve it vastly different and Ranpo does not realize this, an observation from Fukuzawa on Ranpo's inherent difference, Ranpo's expectations of rejection, another observation from Fukuzawa on how Ranpo doesn't realize any of this, Ranpo expecting rejection based upon experiences in the past, and finally what I interpret to be an example of suppression of Ranpo's autistic traits (in a literal sense it is referring to his ability, which is representative of his autistic masking/really autism in general)

The manifestation of his ability is not a literal one like the other characters in the series, but it is an extension of his need to mask at times. Whether it is damaging or not, Ranpo clings to it because it is both connected to Fukuzawa and it is the first time he got an answer to why he is this way instead of being told to hide it for the convenience of others. When you grow up in a world that does not like you for what you are, it would only be natural for him to be desperate for the comfort of something after believing for so long that there was something inherently wrong with him.

There are definitely more thoughts that I have on this topic, such as poverty in relation to the Akutagawa siblings and Atsushi (Beast, specifically as well), but I want that to be a separate analysis.

[rhaistars]

PM cycle of abuse

The cycle of abuse in the port mafia is kind of of insane, It's a web at this point. It includes the old boss (most likely), Mori, Kouyou, Yosano, Dazai, Chuuya(I'll explain why), Akutagawa, Kyouka, and Higuchi. Almost all of the main PM members except Kajii, Gin, and Hirotsu.

Mori -> Dazai -> Akutagawa-> Kyouka

Most likely the most well-known chain of this web, which means the explanation isn't needed as much. To begin, Mori had found Dazai right after a suicide attempt, then using him as a witness for the Old boss' death. Dazai had become the youngest executive ever and found Akutagawa and begun training him.

Now Dazai didn't really see any value in any life, including his own, so his training in Akutagawa was quite brutal, making it clear he viewed Akutagawa as weak, and physically harming him. Akutagawa was unable to use his ability for defense, that is until Dazai had planned to finish Akutagawa off, but Rashomon took in the bullets, saving his life.

Akutagawa had a view that if you're weak, you shouldn't live. He made that clear towards Kyouka often, and physically abused by him in a few scenes of season 1.

Luckily the cycle of abuse between those four ended there, but it does show the difference between the abuser's way of abuse, Mori was more Manipulative and Emotionally abusive, Dazai was more physical, and degrading, and Akutagawa was physically abusive as well, but would always speak of Kyouka's ability, which she despised.

Old Boss -> Kouyou -> Kyouka

Now, this chain of abuse is a little speculation with the old boss, but I'll try to explain the best that I can.

To start, when we learned Kouyou's backstory, it was revealed that when she was young, she tried to run away from the Port Mafia. She did this because she saw hope in living a happy life. Unfortunately, the mafia captured them and the man. It is also said that Kouyou held a grudge against the old boss for that, and it is most likely that the old boss was the one who ordered the man to be killed.

I wouldn't ignore the idea that the Old Boss had a similar influence to Kouyou, as she did to Kyouka. Speaking of her influence over Kyouka, she had projected her trauma onto Kyouka, making her scared to leave. She didn't do it out of malicious intent however, she did it to keep her safe, which obviously doesn't excuse her actions. Once again, this abuse chain ends with Kyouka.

Mori -> Chuuya

Now this one might seem random, however Chuuya is a part of this web of abuse in a way. He was forced by Mori to help with the investigation of the Old Boss, this had led to the sheep fearing that they were being betrayed, trying to kill Chuuya. Although it was not physical abuse whatsoever, it was still manipulation, or emotional abuse.

I do understand that this might be debatable and i'd be glad to hear what you believe.

Akutagawa -> Higuchi, Mori -> Yosano

Due to these being two people chains that branch off from the main two, they will be grouped together in a sense.

Akutagawa gets physical and belittling towards Higuchi whenever she messes up, such as in episode 2 when she fails to kill Tanizaki and Naomi. Her abuse is not as major compared to all the characters, but she is still in the web even if some people don't view it that way.

Mori took Yosano into the barracks of the great war for his soldiers when she was 11. Her ability can make people heal people completely, only if they are on the brink of death. Mori had used that as a way to keep soldiers from going home or dying. At the start, soldiers were thankful for Yosano, but then they resented her, making her not want to help anymore. Mori didn't allow that as an option, and forced her to, leading to the death of a soldier who she became fond off.

All of these chains differ in the kind of abuse, physical, manipulation, death, belittling, but they all are intertwined in one way or another.

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

32nd typing...

Does dazai still hold hatred for Mori now that they have no actual memory of what actually happened?

Does Mori still obsess over little girls or did that part of him disappear or somehow got thrown aside once he became self-aware?

How would dazai (and maybe a few more like yosano, Mori and chuuya) react to the angsty gruesome made up back-stories with himself and Mori?

Like the ones that are actually horrifying to read? With the countless trigger warnings or anything that has to do with dazai suffering in horrible ways?

Hello, 32nd!

To your questions (slight spoilers).

Shared past

Characters, that have a past together, agreed to do next:

1. To keep what happened in the past. Most of it happened before they became self-aware (Yosano's flashback), or during times, they couldn't do anything to prevent it. See Cannon Chains Entry.

See Memories Entry.

3. Not holding grudges against something, that happened in the manga after they became self-aware.

4. Don't create "memories" from hints, theories and silence.

_______

Example:

Dazai have memories, starting from "Fifteen" light novel and onward. He doesn't have memories about his first meeting with Fyodor, but can't tell any details (same for Fyodor).

Dazai agreed not to remind Mori about what happened during Dark Era.

Dazai doesn't have any memories about any kind of abuse from Mori. Dazai didn't feel angry about something, that, perhaps, never happened.

Another example:

Back to chapter 114, after all these theories about "Fyodor's blood let him took over person's body" and "Fyodor was the one, who killed Kyouka's parents".

Kyouka won't try to kill Fyodor, because it is a theory, there is no evidence and, if it's true, back then Fyodor wasn't self-aware.

__________

Mori

Someone have already asked similar question about Mori. I kinda lost that post 😅 so, I will answer again.

In short. In this AU Mori isn't obsessed with little girls. In this AU Mori is attracted to adults (gender doesn't matter to him).

However, Mori wants to have someone in his life he can spoil. Someone not from mafia, someone, he can call a family. Someone, who won't see him as a "Boss". He wants to be a good father/good uncle or a good husband.

_________

Dark Fics

It's unlikely, that they will read such fics in the first place.

BSD Cast tend to keep their distance from fanfics. They might take a look at fluffy fics, at comedy fics, at detectives fics or at AUs. Higuchi has few "Akutagawa x Higuchi" fics saved. But, they won't try to make a dive at "adult" fics, with trigger warnings.

So, "Dazai's dark past" fics will be met with.. "Okay... Let's go and look at merch/fanart", "Isn't Dazai's backstory already tragic enough?" and "Such an interesting way for a fan to show their love to me".

Well, Lovecraft might be okay with reading NC-21 fics about others backstories. He simply treats them as literature and won't mix them with "real" BSD Cast.

[noxioustoxin]

I'll Be Here, Always

Mentions: Implied Abuse (Warning), Suicide (Warning), fluff, tender love and care.

Small Authors Note: "I'm just looking to do some major self-care, but I do hope you all enjoy my short story." ^^

——————————

It had been about a month, almost two now, that Dazai even bothered to check his notifications. His phone lights up throughout the night with halfhearted check-ins. He didn't have to look to know who the messages were from, the soft chime told him exactly who it was. "Bastard, the hell are you ignoring me for?" "You better not be dead, or I swear shitty Dazai."

It was the same thing every few days or so that it started making his head spin. Normally Dazai would've written a snarky comeback, teasing the redhead about how much he seems to care. In reality, Dazai cared. But even his little dog couldn't pull him out of this one. Dazai could vividly recall the moment when things began to spiral, which wasn't uncommon for him. He was known to be suicidal and depressed, but this time, he took the liberty of writing a note. His fingers ached as he scribbled out his goodbye, which was only to one person, but he wouldn't dare let that letter be seen. Not by his slug. He wasn't that cruel though many would argue with that statement.

Even with the meticulous work he put in to hide his letter, he still somehow found himself in Mori's office. Dazai's letter was there open against the desk, and he could hear a scoff from his boss. It was obvious to him that Mori had already read the contents of the letter. "When will you give up on this futile endeavor? Aimlessly reaching for an outcome you can't achieve. You can't die until I say you can when I provide the means." His voice swirled around Dazai's mind like filthy venom, reminding Dazai with that choice of words that he was chained to him. Typically, Mori's words were nothing more than that. Words. But that unsettling feeling that stirred within his stomach made his limbs suddenly feel like lead. He felt bolted to the floor. But in his mind, the only thing that mattered was Chuuya. Not Mori, not being chained to him and the organization, not his suffering. Just Chuuya.

Flash forward to the present, Dazai sat uncomfortably atop his small mattress. His eyes were misty and puffy from the tears that refused to fall. The shipping container in which he called home carried an ominous chill, one that didn't feel right. "Mackerel… please talk to me."

His phone lit up the small area. He knew it was Chuuya, but what was he supposed to say? That he once again wanted to leave the world behind because of his pain? No. Not that again. So instead, Dazai curled up into a fettle position and sighed heavily into his knees. After what felt like hours, in reality, it was only about twenty minutes, a knock jolted Dazai away from his misery. He sighed and uttered a soft "go away," but that was quickly met with louder and more forceful knocking. The sound made his heart sink, and he knew he couldn't ignore it anymore, so reluctantly he scrambled off of his bed and made his way to the door. His hand hesitantly reached for the lock and slowly opened the door. "What?" His voice shook as he tried to upkeep his typical cold exterior until he was suddenly wrapped in a tight embrace. That familiar warmth quickly enveloped his body, and his body relaxed for the first time in those two months. Chuuya. Dazai opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't find the words. The words weren't needed at the moment, but instead, Chuuya simply led him over to his bed and pushed him down against it. Those usually piercing blue eyes were softer and gentler as he cupped Dazai's cheek. "You don't have to go silent whenever you hit a low period," Chuuya began softly, "I can handle it. I want you to understand that I know you still struggle and suffer with those thoughts." He paused to press his forehead lightly against Dazai's, the gesture so tender that it caused butterflies to form in their stomachs. With that, Dazai's tears finally fell as he quickly tugged Chuuya onto the bed with him. His taller frame fits rather perfectly with Chuuya's smaller one. A soft chuckle could be heard from the redhead as he reached his hand up to play with those messy brown curls. "Come on, we aren't staying here. I've got canned crab at home, let's get you a nice bath and a hot meal." Dazai only cooed in response as he nuzzled his head into the crook of Chuuya's neck.

"Okay, Chibi… I love you." "I love you too Mackerel, now let's go."

Dazai knew that Chuuya did mean what he said, he meant that he was here for him even through his dark times. Maybe, just maybe, this was what his meaning in life was. No. Not maybe, Chuuya was his reason. And that was all he needed now. "I'll be here, always." And Dazai believed it. Completely.

------------------------------ Again, I truly hope you all enjoy this little, short story!

[caliumcyanide]

"Why is it that everyone who has a supernatural ability has a twisted heart to go with it?.."

A haphazardly put together and incomplete Analysis of Dazai and Mori's differences and similarities in relation to their peculiar obsessions.

So, I recently stumbled across Taxidermia, (a 2006 Hungarian surrealist horror movie) and since everything else occupying the RAM in my brain is BSD right now, I subconsciously and later, consciously related the two together.

At this point we're all aware of the themes such as "cycle of abuse" and "the chain of salvation" that are present throughout the whole of BSD. The story isn't a horror, and is not meant so much as a warning, but a conversation with the reader/viewer. Then how can this film possibly relate to any of this? Well...

“By the way, who’s the person you said I reminded you of?” he asked.

Mori smiled faintly. Then with a hint of melancholy in his expression, he gave his answer:

...

So, in this movie, the story is told by means of three generations of Hungarian men; 3 characters with one specific trait, quirk, obsession, if you will. In simple terms: one is a pervert, the other is a speed-eater, and the third one is a dedicated to his craft taxidermist. I guess, by now, you see where this is going, right?

Now, I'd argue the situation relayed in BSD is quite ambiguous. What is a skill? What does it truly represent? (I wanted to look into the play with Tokio Murakami in the UO to figure this out, but maybe later) There's seems to be no definitive answer to this, but as always, there is an ongoing subtextual debate on the nature of human beings (not just the skill users, because even if they are their own category they still belong to the human race, don't they?) the formation and evolution of their identity throughout the years, what influences them to act a certain way, all to ask a bunch of simple questions: "Is there a correct, right way to live your life?", "If nothing I do can change the past, then should I be defined by said past?", "Why is it that everyone who has a supernatural ability has a twisted heart to go with it?", ad infinitum. That last one, eh? It's introducing a sort of deterministic element to the nature of the ability users. Which is curious, to say the least.

Now, back to Dazai and Mori's exchange. Right out of the gate it could be argued that Mori, in spite of his claim, is admitting to both Dazai and us, the audience, that he doesn't, in fact truly grasp what this teenager's dysthymia was born from.

“Dazai,” Mori began while still pondering that question. “I may not be able to comprehend your answer, but I nonetheless want to know: Why do you want to die?”

Especially when we trace their relationship to the Dark Era, where he might've used his general understanding of the human nature to force Dazai out of the Mafia, because he knew of his connection to Odasaku, but the way he argued with Dazai, the way the latter had a hard time articulating his irrational feelings and justifying them as beneficial to the Mafia (we all know how concerned Mori is with being rational.) made me question whether Mori ever understood Dazai even just a little bit.

“It’s a win-win situation. So why are you so angry?"

Dazai didn’t say a word. That was just about the first time he’d ever been unable to articulate his feelings.

“I…”

—“There is nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering.”

—“Awaken me from this oxidizing world of a dream.”

“I just…” His voice came out strained. “I just don’t get it.”

Don't worry, Dazai, I don't think Mori gets it either.

“I have just one thing I’d like to ask: What’s wrong with that?” “……”

“My answer is the same, Dazai. I will do anything for the benefit of the organization. Besides, we are the Port Mafia. We have always brought darkness, violence and cruelty to this city. “Why is that a problem now?”

Dazai knew. He knew Ougai’s calculations, his mentality, and the rationale behind the plan. That was just the kind of organization the Port Mafia was. Logically speaking, Ougai was right, and Dazai was wrong. “But…” He turned on his heel, then began walking toward the door.”

Did Mori's plan succeed? Yes.

Did he correctly predict Dazai's actions? That's right.

Did he come to understand Dazai after having him as a subordinate for all these years? No. Not one bit. Because, there is this fascinating thing about humans, where they fear what they can't comprehend. Why again did Mori want Dazai out of the Mafia so badly?

"You were afraid of me, weren't you? Afraid that I would aspire to take your position, that one day, I'd run a knife across your throat. Just like you did to your predecessor."

Then, once again, why the comparison?

Well, there's always a possibility of him just lying to Dazai plain and simple, though I can explain why it can be easily discarded as "not worth the effort". Mori doesn't need to lie to get Dazai to do things for him, he doesn't even need to be particularly discreet about it, like this example from Storm bringer:

“My reasoning is extremely simple.” Mori smiled. “If that monster kills you, nobody will be able to save Chuuya, and he will die as well. In other words, you will finally get the death you have always yearned for but with Chuuya by your side.”

A full ten seconds of silence went by until Dazai broke it.

“Hwaaah.”

“Was that a yawn I just heard?”

“Look, I know what you’re trying to do, and it’s not gonna work. You can’t manipulate me. Good-bye.”

The radio then cut off. Mori held his radio with a faint smirk.”

Hehe, the infamous double suicide argument.

Mori seems to have a general grasp at how Dazai works, but that doesn't seem to be enough. Because there's this:

"No single word or phrase could accurately describe their relationship. The closest approximation would be bound by a common destiny."

And this:

"And yet no one trusted him. Because the darkness lurking within his eyes was deeper than the ink black nights that hung over the dumping ground he inhabited."

And this:

"Miscalculation.

"You misjudged the situation." He told himself. You failed to pick the optimal solution. You shouldn't have chosen this child to help you. Dazai is unpredictable. He can be sharp, but in a dark, twisted way. He's observant. He's cold and calculating with no equivalent even in the Mafia, where the most evil reside."

Honestly, the mention of "darkness" in various descriptions of Dazai by different characters deserves its own fully-fledged analysis. Even if all my examples would consist of excerpts from Oda's internal monologue, it'd still be a treasure trove of information and food for thought.

Back to Mori. I believe this "I'm just like you" moment serves a bunch of purposes all at once. "If you are like me, and I am the head of the Port Mafia, then, by extension, this is the only place that can give you purpose too, because this is where individuals like us thrive." It makes so much more sense to follow somebody else's example, if they really are as similar to you as they claim, and if they truly did find what Dazai is desperately searching for.

The other purpose it might serve can look a bit more sinister: "There is darkness in you, there is something very wrong with you and what I can help you do is put it to good use. I know, because I was the same. I can help you use it for the greater good."

What's funny about BSD is that it's not just that there is the lack of transparently defined right and wrong, (which I believe should be a standard in any media, because otherwise art is reduced to nothing but a slightly subtler version of propaganda) but the lack of a clear winner in these types of existential mental confrontations. Dazai did fail to pick up on Mori's real motives behind the Mimic incident in time, yet his observation of Ougai's lingering fear and paranoia towards him is pretty spot on. Mori did succeed in many aspects of using Dazai as a tool and even going so far as to conduct a plan to dispose of him properly, yet he remains as apprehensive of Dazai as he was from the beginning. To this day, he is still able to predict Dazai's actions, but because of what Mori defines as: "common destiny", "flashes of brilliance" and the "bizarre, meaningless fascination with suicide", he most of the time fails to see him an an autonomous individual, capable of having a purpose different from Mori's own.

Ultimately, does any of it even matter? I'm sure Mori would have been fascinated to know why is Dazai the way he is, just like he would inquire Oda about his guns in the future, but not then, because what he wanted from Dazai when he was in the Mafia is to be a polished diamond scalpel he can use for combating anything threatening the organization. And scalpels aren't known to possess any free will. It didn't matter at all what Dazai went through to reach this point, but what was important from Mori's point of view is that they do, in fact, have similar "steel trap" minds as well as certain obsessions.

"bizarre, meaningless fascination with suicide"

"Are you still lusting after little girls?"

...has a twisted heart to go with it...

I'd argue what Mori expresses here can be described as a very flawed form of cognitive empathy. It isn't full comprehension, by all means, which is why other people in their analyses usually point out the harm it can bring to project onto someone to such a degree, without acknowledging the possibility of even a single difference between the two of you, to force them to be a carbon copy of you for the sake of nothing but blind self-indulgence.

What, in my opinion is a first clear symptom of Mori's pathological misconception... is using the word "meaningless" to describe Dazai's supposed obsession with suicide. For someone of such caliber to be fooled by Dazai's facade so easily is a crazy feat to accomplish. Congratulations on your incomprehensibility once again, Dazai!

Like I mentioned before, BSD takes a more ambiguous approach to all of its themes, characters, et cetera, so it's definitely curious that Odasaku's quiet emotional empathy (as opposed to cognitive, which Oda also expresses, but much later, as a means of deepening his understanding) is, in fact, what reaches him, and in contrast to the narration or Mori's words, Oda doesn't describe him as the "darkness itself", but akin to a person, suffering from a chronic illness.

"I could see a thorn the size of a harpoon wedged deeply into his life."

A child who is surrounded by the darkness and hurt by it, even seemingly bleeds it, yet remains at his core a lonely, abandoned, sobbing child.

“He was too smart for his own good. That was why he was always alone. The reason why Ango and I were able to be by his side was that we understood the solitude that surrounded him, and we never stepped inside it no matter how close we stood.”

Speaking of contradictions and complexity:

“Ougai stared at the scattered reports on his desk. The organization had received an item of great value, something that more than made up for the total pecuniary damage and loss of talented subordinates. That included Dazai’s disappearance as well. Logically speaking, the results couldn’t have been better. Everything was going according to plan.

Ougai folded the document into a misshapen paper airplane. Then, with his chin still resting on his hand, he threw it. The deformed plane almost immediately crashed into the floor.

“Things sure are going to get boring around here…”

First and foremost, was that plane some sort of Guild-related foreshadowing? (that scene with Dazai's brainstorming session with Ranpo came to mind.) I shouldn't be too surprised though. I guess he didn't think Dazai would get involved, because with the only kind of leverage Mori had - gone, the former mafia executive just disappeared into thin air overnight. Little did he know...

What was that, Mori? You've won, you've driven him out of the Mafia for good, then why are you still unsatisfied?

Oh, GOD How I love the Dark era.

How I love Beast AU.

Ok, fine, I admit it. I love everything that comes out of Asagiri's head. I want to pick his brain, dissect it, put it back together and eat it with some soy sau-

...

To be entirely honest, I haven't even watched "Taxidermia" to the end. So, I don't think any of these tidbits of comparison should qualify as a correct interpretation of the themes or the overall message of the movie. What I've seen just sort of inspired me to feed some of the ideas I had to a vast collection of BSD analyses stashed in my notes.

Someday, I really should find patience to organize and post those.

...

Oh, now I remember! Why I wanted to write something related to both Dazai and the embalmer character from the movie.

It's that... (spoilers)

I was just wondering what would Dazai think of this character's method of suicide? There's anesthesia involved, so it's certainly painless, though arguably not "clean" and "beautiful" the way he would have wanted.

What a weird note to end an essay on, huh. Oh, well. I guess the one who had the twisted heart was me all along, eh?

[dinosaur-mayonnaise]

So I have thoughts about the new manga chapter and the cycle of abuse and redemption (spoilers for chapter 110.5 and the anime season 5 finale)

So, the current (very condensed) chain of abuse/redemption looks something like this:

Mori -> abuses Dazai -> abuses Akutagawa -> abuses Kyouka <- saved by Atsushi <- saved by Dazai <- saved (/encouraged to be saved) by Oda

The hinge character here is really Dazai who (if you ignore Mori and Oda) is something of a point of divergence in the chain - i.e. he continues the chain of abuse with Akutagawa, but also continues the chain of healing with Atsushi (who's been abused by his "father figure", the orphanage director, who he also had a very conflicting relationship with).

Now, if we look at the information we've gotten about Aya - specifically her relationship with her father (which this super interesting post from @soupthatistohot talks about), we see a conflict - previous chapters have shown him to be extremely abusive, but 110.5 paints him in an admirable, respectable light - which is not dissimilar to Atsushi and the orphanage director.

To go more into speculative territory now, I'm going to assume for a moment that the Akutagawa saving Aya will be true in the manga.

(Obviously he was in a vampiric state when he did that but bear with me here)

Given the parallels in the ideas of parental abuse between Atsushi and Aya, I think it's possible that their healing will bear similarities, too. To return to the cycle, Atsushi was 'saved' by the hinge character Dazai (that term is used loosely because of course it was not just him but he was the main mentor of sorts).

I think it would be interesting, then, if Akutagawa were to also become a hinge character in helping Aya to heal.

Thematically, it would make sense, since he's already saved her once (although, again, in vampiric state) and I think it would absolutely fit into his character arc and his own redemption.

Plus, it would be an interesting parallel to the chain of saving:

Oda saves Dazai -> Dazai saves Atsushi

Compared to:

Atsushi (who Dazai has compared to Oda) saves Akutagawa (the character previously aligned with PM Dazai) -> Akutagawa saves Aya (the character with a lot of parallels to Atsushi)

I just think this would be a super fascinating and also really fitting direction for Akutagawa's character to go in, and I also absolutely need to see more of Aya in the next arc.

[lnkedmyheart]

thoughts on the abuse chain in bsd?

It's a thing for sure but the fandom doesn't really know how to deal with it properly. Yes Mori-Dazai-Akutagawa is a good area to study the cycle however nobody is particularly interested in really looking at Mori from a lens of a man who may have had negative experiences himself, always placing him at the start of the cycle like the man popped out of the womb an abusive asshole. There are also a lot of areas where the cycle is broken like with Atsushi, and Chuuya. Circumstances are a big factor in bsd, nobody is inherently bad, including Mori.

[mayday505]

OKAY MIR READS STORMBRINGER: THE SERIES!!

PROLOGUE THOUGHTS!!

- I really like use of monster imagery because it’s so clear that it’s foreshadowing Guivre and Arahabaki ‘it could even be the fangs and saliva of a starving beast’ yeah that’s abt Arahabaki alright.

-‘This forest’s wicked form that day was light.’ Implies destruction for the greater good -> Chuuya using corruption even tho he’ll lose the ability to tell whether he’s human AND it being this thing that destroys him from the inside out but being their only choice to stop Verlaine

-References to fire and the colour orange all metaphors for Chuuya. he is the forest fire lolz mitski core!!! But fr I like the use of semantics to both describe the surroundings and also clearly describe Chuuya. Like ‘crackling of the trees as they burned sounded like guttural screams’ that’s so CLEARLY a reference to corruption I’ll die.

-‘A hole in the night that all living creatures naturally feared: a forest fire.’ People fearing Chuuya and his power (Shirase in 15, Mori, his enemies etc) fear of corruption/of a god/Arahabakis power. All dear it because it’s not of natural descent it’s inhuman, godlike. A hole insinuating Arahabaki to be an insatiable beast; once u open it it can’t be stopped. That’s also implied w the forest fire imagery. People scared of Chuuyas power bc of destructive nature bc it’s like a forest fire. So ppl like Mori harness it and keep it controlled whilst ppl like Shirase in 15 try to put it out from fear (the stabbing).

- ‘The body was bent straight down the middle, and one of its wings stuck out like a gravestone.’ BRUTAL foreshadowing The flags deaths and how unnatural/horrific they were.

-‘The aircraft’s torn body’ foreshadows albatross’s death. Obvs the comparison between planes and birds and his name lmao but also because his whole area in the mafia is transport….aha…funny….

-I LOVE LOVE LOVE the section w the boy Adam saves in it because he’s also a good look at Chuuyas inner character.

-‘A mere child like him, however, could only attempt to mimic what the adults were doing.’ Something intellectual about the chain of abuse and where the responsibility/accountability should fall. Chuuya mimics what the adults around him do and try to emulate them. He doesn’t act like a kid. Something about how not many characters are inherently bad people in bsd, they just grew up with shitty role models and learned from what they saw which Yk on the streets and in the mafia isn’t exactly a very good baseline to learn how to treat people or how you should be treated.

-‘There might be survivors.’ Chuuyas inherent optimism/hope despite it kind of dwindling. He doesn’t automatically see the worst in people and tries to see the good.

-‘The adults would surely praise him if he saved someone. He imagines himself being lauded a hero, and his heart began to race.’ He wants to be useful, wants to help people/be acknowledged by those he respects. It’s lit him okay.

-‘But his ambitions proved deadly.’ Every time he gets his hopes up something bad happens to pull them down. His ambition to become an exec??? His optimism and hope dwindling as he loses more people.

-FAVOURITE WHITE MAN ADAM!!!! ‘“I had no idea commercial airplanes experienced so much turbulence when they landed.’ REAL UR SO REAL ADAM COMEDIC AUTISTIC GENIUS. ‘It doesn’t help that these doors just seem to pop off,either”’ chortled. Giggled. Chuckled.

-‘as he dubiously cocked his head to one side.��� Dubious little creature getting up to mischief.

-‘Human society considers it rude to not introduce oneself, yes?”’ Lit how I feel as an autistic person ur so real adam

That concludes my prologue thoughts !!! Slayed fr.

[dxzaiis]

BSD SERIES ANNOUNCMENT !!

bsd!shattered au : What if the pm and ada were not just associations, but full-fledged kingdoms at war? Which one will prevail and swallow the other whole.

Citadel (pm):

Dazai: The illegitimate child of Mori, Mori took him off the streets as he deemed him "useful" has no intent to treat him as a prince or even a possible heir. Mori is abusive towards him. Dazai eventually was finished with the abuse and managed to launch a rebellion.

Mori: The king. Corrupt with odd ideals, no one knows what he is planning. The past queen died, and now he believes her spirit resides in a doll of her younger self. Informants have reported him doing strange rituals involving the doll. Insane.

Chuuya: no bio yet.

Akutagawa: Slave. Attempted to flee the empire with Gin, did not make it. Dazai took him in as a guard dog without Mori knowing. Has a magic bound chain which forces him to obey orders. Treated poorly.

Kyu: Spy. Also helps torture caught assassins or other people working against them. No one knows how he came about, or his origins.

Ichiyou: Countess. Supervises Akutagawa in case he tries to act out. Accompanies him to also stabilize his mana collar.

Kouyou: Marquess. Has henchman and provides a lot of military power for the kingdom.

Elise: ??? / A doll. No one knows where it went after Mori's death.

Odasaku: Commoner. Greatly aided Dazai in the uprising. Was bestowed a Baron rank by Dazai.

Astric (ada):

Fukuzawa: The king. He is a Kindred spirit to his people so he is naturally well-liked. Significantly weaker since the use of slaves is banned...

Atsushi: A commoner. A newcomer to the elite military circle. Still in training. Has strong abilities but still needs to learn how to use them...

Kyouka: Atsushi took her off the streets, not involved in the military force, Atsushi provides for her.

Kunikida: Viscount. Strong expectations placed on him from a young age.

Ranpo: Informant/Investigator, defuses schemes. Baron.

Yosano: Treats injured people on missions. Marquess.

Kenji: Helps train military forces. Commoner.

Gin: Managed to make it past the borders and into the Astric empire. Worries about her brothers safety but was freed from her slave title. Quickly recruited by Fukuzawa.

Anti-royalty association (doa):

Fyodor: Fyodor is the mastermind. Is a Duke in the Citadel kingdom and the secret base resides there. Tries to keep what happens under wraps from Dazai. Basically this is a cult:/

Nikolai: Basically helps Fyodor or wtv. Commoner.

Sigma: Basically....exploited office worker. Forced to clean up the messes caused by the other two.

[sonny-d]

so we know abt the chain of abuse from mori to dazai to akutagawa to kyoka but like imagine being akutagawa and being in between the two ppl in the chain that got out like how fucking devastating is that dazai left him which is like erm what then he honestly kind of let kyoka go and i dont know that he counts mori on the chain so hes like the only one who never made it out and thats so sad☹️

[akinomorie]

Black Sea

Author: Technicolour (Lirriel)

Summary:

A series of vignettes focusing on Atsushi - picked up by Mori and trained from a young age to be used as a tool. He's used to shackles, but he begins to seek freedom after meeting Dazai, an orphan eager to die. Alternatively: What if Atsushi and Dazai had been raised in the other's circumstances?

Relationship: Dazai Osamu/Nakajima Atsushi (Dazatsu)

Review:

• I'm absolutely in love with this fic. I've been rereading this tons of times already, analysing every sentence and theorising on the untold stories behind the words carefully left vague. This oneshot has so much potential I feel so inspired 😳✨

• I love the relationships between Atsushi and the PM members here. Mori is the horrible abusive adoptive father yet the one who saved Atsushi from his hell of the orphanage. Chuuya is still the same confident handsome bastard that I love in the canonverse, but with Atsushi as his partner he is gentler, calmer. And the Akutagawa siblings, who Atsushi cares for and grow to adore Atsushi in their own ways, really does weird things to my heart.

• The theme of this fic is freedom, which at first Atsushi didn't have because he was caged by the previous boss with a collar and later chained with thousands of ties to the Mafia by Mori, Chuuya, the Akutagawa siblings. His first meeting with one Dazai Osamu and many others later slowly change that. Personally I find the idea of relationship ties to be tragically romantic hhhhh.

• Atsushi's kindness. It is his kindness that leads to the, may I say, naive stubborn desire against killing, which Mori indulges, Chuuya sympathizes, and the Akutagawa siblings admire. Maybe I interpreted the lines wrong, or maybe I was right, but the PM members really try hard to protect this little hope of innocence that Atsushi holds, using their own twisted methods, despite how utterly foolish that hope is. Reminds me of the reasons why I fell in love with canon!Atsushi in the first place.

• Dazatsu's first meeting. I love the way Atsushi demands Dazai's will to live in exchange for the money, food and accommodation that he promises to provide. Really in character with Atsushi's love for life, both in this fic and the canon verse.

• Chuuya's gifts to Atsushi (and they are all expensive). Atsushi takes care of Chuuya when they go drinking. The two young boy comfort each other in the event of the trauma of their job.

• Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, calling Atsushi, "Atsushi-san" 😳😳😳 I also get this hunch quite often, that Akutagawa in this au is eager to kill because he wants to honor Atsushi's wish not to kill.

• Dazai's panic at seeing Atsushi's tears. Holy moly I felt like something in me was awakened when reading that part. Definitely one of my dazatsu favorite tropes.

• Atsushi! Smoking! (audible gasp)

• Dazai lit Atsushi's cigarettes 🤤 I want a cigarette kiss 🚬💋😉😘

• This fic was written back in 2017. The author admitted that they only read the manga and didn't know LN was a thing when they wrote it, which is why some details may seem out of place if you think about it. Personally I find this drawback to be quite appealing instead. I like to imagine how the other pieces of the BSD canonverse can fit into this au: Did Atsushi know about Yosano (because, Mori)? What would Fyodor do knowing Atsushi was the fearsome Beast of Calamity of the PM? How did Atsushi and Chuuya's first meeting go? How could Atsushi help dealing with Chuuya's Corruption power and Arahabaki? Where were Oda and Ango? How about Kyouka? So many questions, so many ideas...

Quotes:

*

“I’m never killing again.”

He doesn’t know where the sudden conviction comes from; he just knows that it bubbles and burns in his throat. The tiger paces inside his ribcage, making itself known in the ache that pushes up from the inside of his skin, pressing outward.

“What the hell, man.” Chuuya—doesn’t sound as angry as Atsushi would have expected, considering what he just said is tantamount to treason in their circle. Pacifists are dead weight, only good for menial tasks.

*

“I didn’t realize how famous Atsushi-san was,” Dazai says softly. He quirks his eyebrow at Atsushi, playful. “Imagine my surprise when I was being detailed on dangerous Port Mafia members and your name popped up.” He leans close to Atsushi, his breath hot against his skin and adds, “The reported number of deaths was strange, too.”

Atsushi shivers and says, “It’s complicated.”

Dazai shifts, turns his head fully to examine the camera that watches them. After a long pause, he turns back to Atsushi and asks, “Why are you with the Port Mafia, Atsushi-san? Someone like you...” and he pauses, looking down to where their hands are connected. “It just doesn’t make sense,” he says at last.

*

There are shouts, filled with rage and arrogance, as members of whatever organization has been marked for extinction surround him. They catcall and cajole him, laughing at the small, pretty sheep who has strayed from the flock and wandered into a concrete forest filled with wolves.

And always, always, Atsushi smiles mildly at them. Before each raid, he prays quietly for someone to have sense, for someone to escape into the night and not be foolish enough to stand and fight and die.

It is, Atsushi knows, a foolish wish borne from a foolish hope that this shall be the last death he must witness.

*

Dazai’s hand stills, and Atsushi feels his eyes. He continues to eat, quietly, layering the flavors that enter his mouth, trying to build a sensory symphony. “I have nothing to pay you with,” Dazai says, and Atsushi wonders if the lack of betrayal in his voice, the tired resignation, offers a clue.

“No, you do,” Atsushi says. “Something you hold little value in; something I consider to be of great value.”

*

Akutagawa does not quite smile at him – Atsushi does not think he even really knows what a smile is. But he quirks his lips, as if he is sharing something humorous with Atsushi, and Atsushi smiles back weakly.

“Atsushi-san could kill Mori-san and the other executives, and I would still want to follow Atsushi-san.” Akutagawa pauses, swallowing. And then he says, “Because Atsushi-san saved us… Our lives belong to you, Atsushi-san.”

Something weighty settles in the pit of Atsushi’s stomach, and he breathes out a hummingbird’s sigh. Akutagawa, he thinks, is so incredibly earnest. The obvious adoration in his voice makes Atsushi’s heart hurt.

*

We are only children, Atsushi thinks, as Chuuya lurches toward him with another sob, wrapping his arms around Atsushi’s neck. It is easier for him, like this – when Atsushi is in his tiger form, large enough that his bulk takes up almost the entire available space, with Chuuya curled into his belly.

He doubts Chuuya would treat his human form like this.

The tiger blinks, sharing its body with Atsushi, and chuffs softly at Chuuya, nudging at his head. It only succeeds in knocking his hat off. Tigers cannot purr, their vocal cords are not designed for it, but Atsushi tries to convey comfort in other ways. It is the only thing he can do.

It is his fault Chuuya is this way.

*

“Dazai-kun is incredibly kind,” Atsushi says.

There is a shadow of melancholy to Dazai’s face as he smiles and says softly, “No, but Atsushi-san is kind to think so.” He lets Atsushi eat a few more bites before asking tentatively, “Would you like me to leave?”

“No,” Atsushi answers immediately, and is surprised to find that it’s true. “I’d appreciate your company, if you have nothing else to do.”

“Never,” Dazai says. He smiles, and there is a gentleness to his expression that fills Atsushi with warmth.

*

“It was my home.” The “was” is weighty; there’s a finality to the words, and suddenly Atsushi sees what the tiger has seen all along, has known ever since that day by the river. There is a peace that comes from this knowledge, and he smiles at Dazai, trusting him to see what Atsushi saw. “But home is someplace different now.”

“I understand,” Dazai says. And he smiles back, a soft curve that dimples one cheek and makes his eyes shine like stars in the dark of night.

[funsizedchilicheese]

i think it’s so interesting how the chain of abuse trickled down in the port mafia. Mori to Dazai, Dazai to Akutagawa, and Akutagawa to Kyoya (and Higuchi), but didn’t really affect anyone else to those extents. Chuuya, Koyo, Tachihara, Keiji, and Hirotsu are all fairly “friendly” and non-competitive with one another, even being shown in official art exhibiting family dynamics. they work together a lot and though they may speak harshly to each other and make jabs i think that just strengthens the theory that they see each other as a family even though they’re all under the command of Mori instead of under his wing.

[iicaru2]

God I actually had to look for the dead apple novel everywhere because nobody had it listed online, and then after many ad pop ups on a suspicious website, I finally had it (+ every other published novel). I’m a master at finding shit online.

Anyway, Akutagawa is my fav and I bawl out tears thinking about the discussion of abuse, Nurture Vs Nature, and how much nuance is involved in writing it. The devastation thinking about his relationship with Dazai, and just how uncomfortable my body feels in reaction. Asagiri really knows how to not sugar coat anything. It makes me so sad that people find him annoying, completely disregard his story, or find him boring. My bby 😞💔

yesss akutagawa is my special boy (if that wasn’t already obvious) and my highest kin (🚩🚩) so, naturally, he’s my favourite character and oh boy does he hurt me in so many ways. i choose to focus on atsushi in the majority of my fics because his trauma and reactions to it also get ignored pretty heavily, or his ptsd gets called “annoying” (which, ow, on a personal level), but whenever i do focus on aku i go absolutely HAM on making sure nobody forgets what he’s been through because it is so important to me. the whole point of an abuse chain/generational trauma is that no one who is a part of it is fully absolved of blame. the pm chain in particular went mori -> dazai -> akutagawa -> kyouka— and no one besides kyouka (who broke the chain of abuse herself, and is stronger than all of them for that) is completely blameless.

ofc i blame mori heavily for supposedly starting it (and yk, i hate him). knowing that dazai was also abused makes it easier to understand him and sympathize, but it does not make what he did to akutagawa okay. just like how knowing the way akutagawa was treated makes it easier to sympathize, it doesn’t make what he did to kyouka okay in the slightest. i totally support blaming mori for everything lmao, but mostly in a joking way. i think it’s extremely important to acknowledge that people need to be held accountable for their actions— the fact that they (being dazai & akutagawa, in this case) were abused was wrong and unfair, and i love them both as characters very much, but i need people to also be able to recognize that they’ve done bad shit too and it wasn’t alright.

asagiri portrays this (generational trauma, ptsd, the need for approval from one’s abuser despite loathing them for what they did) extremely well, and i absolutely love and appreciate how real and honest it is about how people are not black and white and how complex situations like that are. (and if you couldn’t tell, this is like my FAVOURITE thing to talk about. akutagawa my absolute beloved🩷)