#more or less getting forced into eating strange crap because others say so idk

[robinsnest2111]

oh man, still can't believe I tried to be a horse girl for a couple years in primary school to fit in with all the horse girls to try and make friends The Normal Way

had a subscription to an expensive horse-themed trinkets and books box (Pony Club, LOVED the books btw wish I still had them), collected SO MANY of the expensive Schleich horse figurines/action figures that were all the rage back in the day, even begged my parents to buy the stables set so all the horses had a place to live. I even learned the most niche and obscure horse care and behaviour facts and trivia. ngl I did have fun but it didn't win me any new friends among my peers lmao

probably because I was too poor to attend riding lessons or have my own real life horse to care for like they did, or because I was Just Too Fucking Weird in general lol

[purplesurveys]

819

what is a food that you’d hate to be allergic to?: Omg SEAFOOD. Can’t live without it. If I was allergic to it I’d be that person who brings tons of antihistamines everywhere I go so I can power through when eating crabs and mussels and shrimp. I just can’t live a life of being forced to watch others eat seafood while I can’t lol.

what color was the last towel you used?: Light blue.

would you prefer to date someone taller, shorter, or the same height as you? Same height or a tad bit taller is fine; I’m not super particular when it comes to height.

when was the last time your nose bled? My nose has never bled before and I dread the day it happens for the first time, because I’m totally unprepared and blood freaks me out and I will highkey probably pass out for a bit hahaha.

how old are you turning this year?: I already turned 22 last April. Considering the circumstances, my birthday had surprisingly gone really well too.

what is your favorite thing to snack on while watching a movie?: French fries from Potato Corner. My go-to bucket size is Mega and I will typically request my order to be 1/2 barbecue and 1/2 cheese fries. I’ll feel super uneasy if I don’t have that exact order when watching a movie at the cinema.

swimming pool or hot tub?: So I had to look up hot tub because I wanted to know how it’s different from a jacuzzi, and holyyyyy crap I’ve learned something new - Jacuzzi is a brand of hot tubs, wtfreak my life has been a lie I thought it was a word!!! Hahaha in any case, I do prefer hot tubs more. I’ve always felt dirty hanging around in swimming pools.

can you swim well? I’m not able to perform any of the strokes like an Olympic athlete, but I can tread well and for a good amount of time.

what body part do you wash first in the shower?: Not really a part of the body per se but I’ve always washed my hair first.

who would you allow to read your thoughts for one day? No thanks, I find that too invasive. 

what kind of first impression do you think you make? Cold and a little aloof, which isn’t too far off from the truth especially if I’m not approached first. If someone does talk to me for the first time, it’ll depend on their body language whether I’ll choose to continue to be reserved, or if I’d want to be bubbly and vibrant around them.

name your last reason for using a camera? My dad honked his horn as he parked in the carport to let us know he was home, and my dog ran up the screen door and sat patiently to wait for him to come inside, his tail wagging the whole time.

where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed? Sometimes I’ll line up our dining chairs together so it can turn to some sort of bed, and I’ve been falling asleep on that often lately.

what are you excited about? To drink the rest of this milk tea my dad bought me :) He went out to run some errands and I guess he’s been hearing me talk about how I miss having milk tea, so he went out of his way to go to a Chatime and get drinks for me and my sister.

seven days from now, will you be in a relationship? Yes.

are you a happy person? My emotions are always all over the place. I’m never consistently in a certain mood.

when was the last time you laughed really hard & why? I was bored and missing normal life last night so I went through my uploaded photos on Twitter so I can see what I used to do before everything went downhill...and by doing that, I realized that I’m quite good at tweeting HAHAHA most of my captions made me laugh and my content/photos weren’t all that bland or bad either. Idk, this is one instance where I can confidently say that I’m funny hahaha.

what are you wearing? A UP shirt and a pair of shorts.

what do you want? For my college to post the official list of graduating students for this school year so that I can finally partake in the tradition of changing my Facebook DP to my senior photo. I REALLY love how my portrait turned out and I can’t wait for my loved ones to see it.

did you enjoy your weekend? It was okay I guess. My mom was annoyingly cranky throughout Saturday for no reason, but it mellowed out by the next day and that’s good enough for me. Other than that, it was just as uneventful as the last three months have been.

do you regret anything you’ve done recently? Just little stuff that I get over quickly like, “oh I regret making this coffee at 11 PM because it’s now 3 AM and I’m jumpy as fuck.” But no big regrets recently.

is there anybody you wish you could see? For fucking sure. I don’t even have to tell y’all who it is.

have you ever kissed anyone with a name that starts with j or m? Nope. I almost went out with an M, though.

how many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 2 3/4 lol. I trust Andrew 110%...and I mooooostly trust my dad. Not with every single topic under the sun, but I still trust him a whole lot nonetheless.

do you think you’ll be married in 10 years? I hope I will be by then.

what makes you mad most about girls? Definitely wanna avoid generalizing in this question but the way some girls will fawn over men is super hypocritical and that bugs me to no end. Girls shaming other girls for a range of things is also annoying, whether it’s over wearing too much makeup, not wearing makeup, choosing to abort, physical appearances, their diet, etc. Some really need to mind their own fucking business.

have you ever been given roses? Yes.

do you even like getting flowers? I love receiving stems or bouquets but I’m not obsessed with them in that I wanna get them regularly. Giving me flowers for Valentine’s Day or on our anniversary is more than enough for me.

what’s your favorite flowers? Peonies.

could you go out in public looking like you do now? No. I’d change my shorts.

who’s the first person you texted today? I haven’t texted anyone today.

would you move to another state to be with the person you loved? That’s a toughie...it would depend on the opportunities I have wherever I live in the present, and whether there are better ones where my partner is. I’m young and still building up my career, so realistically I’d wanna look out for myself first instead of clumsily jumping in headfirst for love lol.

how’s the weather today? It’s strangely warm and humid and uncomfortable, which is annoyinggggg. News has said that the wet/rainy season already begun, so I don’t know why the sun is still hanging around and being, again, annoying.

what color are your eyes? Really dark brown, almost black.

do you like poptarts? In my country we only get the same five flavors but my favorite out of all of them is chocolate fudge. I really wish we had a wider selection though :(

where will you be 12 hours frm now? Getting ready for bed most likely.

is it easy for others to make you feel intimidated? No. I’m usually the one who involuntarily makes others feel intimidated, oops.

do you know what you are going to wear tomorrow? Not exactly but it’s definitely gonna be one of the several tops and shorts I’ve just been repeatedly wearing at home since March.

are you on a desktop or laptop? Laptop. I haven’t used a desktop in ages.

does anyone hate you for no reason? I’m sure one or two people do, but I genuinely can’t care less.

what are you planning to do today? Finish my milk tea, maybe take another survey or two, eat the salted egg chips that my dad bought, and, if it cools down later in the day, take a quick nap.

play an instrument? I can play the recorder. I also memorize several songs on the piano, but the key word there is memorize lmao. I just know which keys to press due to watching covers over and over; but I can’t read notes, I don’t know which letters match which keys, have no idea what major and minor is, and I basically know absolutely nothing about using a piano.

would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Just to get closure from certain people or events. If I can go back in time I’d spend more time with my late grandpa, for one.

where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now? I’ve already forgotten.

have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with an r? No. I’m an R though, heh.

have you ever passed out? Yeah numerous times. I’m a big fainter, which just sounds so uncool lmfao.

are you easily confused? Yes I feel lost quite easily. I’m often the butt of my friends’ jokes because of this, but I don’t mind hahaha.

do you think you would make a good wife/husband? I like to think that I would be, but I dunno. I’m still insanely young and I know I’ll be a completely different person with different priorities, mindset, attitude, etc., by the time I get married. It’s too early to tell.

what’s your favorite kind of ice cream? Cookies and cream. Queso real is also a really good flavor and it was my favorite for some time before my taste shifted to cookies and cream.

do you like coffee? Love coffee.

do you like summer? I like it when I get to go to the beach or when my family books trips out of town or the country, but I reeeeeally could do without the hot and sticky weather. It’s definitely not my favorite period of the year.

where were you at 8am this morning? I was asleep for half of it, then by 8:30 I was up and scrolling through Facebook.

do you fall for people easily? No. That is one thing I can’t do as a demisexual haha.

everything happens for a reason? This is usually my mindset, yes. It helps me process and accept circumstances better and much more quickly.

have you ever dated someone more than once? Yup, Gab and I have broken up before.

who have you texted in the last 24 hours? No one. Not really big on texting these days as I’ve been using Messenger to contact people throughout the quarantine.

what color nail polish is on your toes? My toes are never painted.

do you find members of the preferred sex confusing? People of any gender have the potential to be confusing. < This.

what are you listening to right now? Right now all I can hear is the work being done for the new house that’s being constructed in front of ours, so I’ll hear the occasional shoveling of stones and trucks coming in and out of the construction zone. The last music I listened to was the Presto from Summer of Vivaldi’s Four Seasons because Portrait of a Lady on Fire always makes me feel things.

how has the week been? It hasn’t been horrible, I’ll give it that. I’ve been revisiting my old fandoms out of boredom but it’s turned out to be a lot of fun; my mom brought home cupcakes at the start of the week; I had milk tea today; and we just had Kimi groomed this afternoon so his fur is all gone and now he looks like a giant rat.

is there something you wish you could tell someone but can’t? I wish I could have respectful debates with my Duterte- and/or Trump-supporting relatives, but I know that’s impossible.

what are your biggest turn offs? People who: can only hold shallow conversations, are disrespectful to those in the service industry; are casually homophobic, racist, sexist, transphobic, and/or fatphobic; take their religion way too seriously; and neglect their pets.

favorite shirt to wear? My CM Punk Best in the World shirt, without a doubt. I’ve been wearing it semi-regularly for nine years and have absolutely no intention of throwing it out.

favorite drink? Depends on my mood and the occasion. If I’m studying I’d wanna have coffee with me, if I’m casually dining at a restaurant I’d be happy with iced water, etc.

last person to say ‘i love you’ to you? Gab.

would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yeah, but when that’s gonna happen again I still have no idea...

what’s your favorite color gummy bear? I always find myself reaching for the red ones.

what is the nicest part of the opposite sex’s body? I don’t consistently stare at a certain part of a guy’s body.

have you ever run into a dishwasher? No, those aren’t common here.

ever had a song sung about/for you? Nope.

is there a baby in the room with you right now? No, not technically. But I do consider my pets to be my babies. < Same. Kimi, now a giant rodent, is walking around the living room at the moment but he never strays too far from me.

where do you sing the most, in the car, the shower or other? CAAAAAAAAAR. This is a big reason why I miss driving, I haven’t been able to belt out in a while.

what is your favorite thing that is green? I don’t own a lot of green stuff since it’s my least favorite color...buuuuut I do have a printed flowy dress that I just love to wear, and it’s mostly olive green.

what did your last text message say? It’s an automated text from a vet clinic I went to last December telling me that I should bring Kimi back for a checkup. I appreciate the gesture but I’m not going back there after how condescending the vet was acting towards me.

what is the way to your heart? Acts of service has been my love language for the longest time.

what do you smell like? I smell nothing off of me now but I do know that I don’t smell unpleasant, because if I did I would’ve noticed it immediately and would feel more conscious.

what’s in your pocket? I don’t have any.

anything in your mouth? Not right now but I’ve been sipping milk tea with pearls all afternoon.

ever hurt yourself playing wii? Only after my first day of playing Wii Sports. It was like a workout for my tiny 10 year old body and I woke up all sore the next morning.

do you have freckles? No, not a common feature here.

what’s the last movie you saw in the theater? Knives Out.

ever jumped/fallen/been pushed in a pool with your clothes on? Noooooooooo. I feel like that’s super uncomfortable; I’ve always entered pools with a swimsuit or bikini. My glare is usually enough for people to understand that I wouldn’t appreciate being thrown into a pool while I still had clothes on.

are you wearing any clothes that you wore yesterday? Technically. I took a shower in the evening and changed into the clothes I’m wearing now, but that was in the evening so it’s not like I wore them all day yesterday.

name a song that you know all the words to: Every single Paramore song. Guaranteed.

what’s the last thing you watched on tv? If we’re really going with a physical TV, the last thing I watched was Descendants of the Sun when I used the Netflix app on our TV. The last series I watched in general was Friends.

what can you hear right now? Two fans whirring in the living room.

did you feel better or worse or the same yesterday? I’m slightly better today. I’m glad Kimi has finally been groomed since his fur had knotted up in the last couple of weeks. Plus I also have milk tea today, and that’s always a winner :)))

are you close to your siblings? With my sister, but we treat each other like buddies and are more of the tough-love type. We banter more than anything and we don’t hold heart to heart talks.

do you bite your nails? No we have a nail cutter at home that I use. If I’m going through a period of heightened anxiety I will bite my nails though.

do you like your feet? Uh, I guess. I’m not complaining about them? but I’m also not attracted to feet. Mine are just there and I’m fine with them.

do you sleep well at night? For the most part.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Primez!

hell yeah thankyou!!! [2, 5, 17 been answered]

(3) maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?

i’m that theatre gay who’s never Really been in any theatre production. and there was an archery place like 10 min from where i grew up and i was like “ooh archery how cool” b/c i’m a gay but never tried it

(7) amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

hardly unheard of but i Don’t Like the approach to astrology that ppl have been getting in the past few yrs like. the Joke someone on twitter had that we’re like, on the verge of some astrological discrimination lawsuit……..and idk ppl get like pseudo-christian-style Smug about it like, don’t apply this to everyone??? and it’s just strange to like. tell people what they’re like. or explain their characteristics via this really strange westernized vague concept of astrology rather than like, tell me about the life experiences that affect the way that you are. like it’s almost condescending and ppl are being way too serious about it sometimes in (see: the on the verge of the lawsuit thing lol)…..anyways and i guess some of my Killjoy tendencies make me like, haha i’m the Hater b/c idk i’m real opinionated. but a lot of the times it’s not Really b/c i hate other’s joy or some shit, it’s just crap along the lines of like, “these ideas abt love which are meant to be Very Romantic actually strike me as being the Less ideal interpretation of love between people and the potential therein? and colder? and unhealthier / more unpleasant / not as nice / etc etc etc as my ideas on romance which i guess seem like i’m wanting to just shoot down some Lovely Concepts but i’m like. that doesn’t seem lovely. i’m on the very of launching into another essay abt Isolation Isn’t Romantic and Romance As Very Human And Ordinary And Even Mundane Seems A Lot Better Than The More ~Magical~ Approach and did i mention romance should be the Opposite of isolating and yet it’s so taken for granted sometimes that you’ll know it’s True Love when you [bass boosted DIE FOR EACH OTHER] and stop giving a shit about anyone but this one other person and etccccccccc [me screaming for hours]”

and a lot of times things that i guess are would-be Cute / Charming / Wholesome / Positive / Etc start to grate on me if i have to see it too much and i’ll probably end up hating or resenting it but like, not because i hate happy stuff, but b/c it just like. is like, i like things to be Genuine, and it will just feel like this is Performing genuine…ness………..which i don’t like. b/c it’s being Not genuine to try to appeal on the grounds that it’s genuine? yknow. which also extends into the realm of “i hate this Cute music over this cute animal video. don’t tell me how to feel about it” and when something tries to be Surprising in the realm of like, pseudo-dissonant like. oh this is a cute harmless white girl on the ukulele but she just said “fuck” and “std’s” or some crap!!! whaaaaaat!!!!! like, i hate this actually? can i die

i could give a ted talk just showing vines that make it into plenty of people’s compilations and being like “this is why this vine is Not Funny (Enough)” 

(also i do sometimes hate Having Fun. doge speak was so awful. of Course gop congress adopted it briefly in its original heyday. even now i hate the derivatives. i’m not about to rb something that contains the word birb. can i die)

also i think star wars is boring. i think cargo pants are fun and fine. 

(11) orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.

we get confirmation that any Winston Footage is filmed for billions s5. soph i know that like, fitting in almost 3 hrs of subway travel / going into nj and back / probably having to do all this on a weekend / having like a 5 second window maybe makes it difficult but we all agree it’d make another epic gamer moment if you got to see lihn

(13) bonfire - describe your dream house.

lol being in my teenz in 2008 i haven’t thought about it much tbh. i think i’d like a pretty cozy (smallish) bedroom and just a lot of physical Niches yknow. i like to frequent very specific spots which are not too out in the open. and really everything would be kinda Cozy Smallish but not the kitchen. get some space there, and like, raised counters like for julia child being 6′2″ b/c Standard Height is not comfortable for me either at my tender 5′11″ or 6″ness. and i always think that those sitty spaces that are like, Depressed into the floor are fun. i know there’s a word for that, but whatever. there’s a bunch of very disparate color schemes i’d think i’d like, so like, idk if i’d just go for totally different Aesthetic Approaches from room to room to try to cover all of them lol

(19) pumpkin - do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?

i mean i think it’s more important to recognize that anyone is entirely capable of Doing good or bad, and arguing about what they Truly Are In Their Hearts is beside the point. but i also think the idea that like oooh if Polite Society crumbles enough we’ll all just be roving in bloodthirsty packs, looking to kill each other and loot / probably eat the corpses, etc etc ~dark gritty bold~ apocalyptic material that’s like wow yeah that’s really confronting the Uncomfortable True Nature of society. like, capitalism is already a brutal and inhumane situation to exist in, but it’s not some emergent expression of Human Nature like, oh, life is just like this, empty and alienating and unfulfilling unless you [physical violence b/c it is Genuine], or that people would turn on each other if we were in survival mode, like…..no. survival mode always entails helping others to survive like. yeah not for necessarily Every individual? but that’s just more of anyone’s capacity to Do good or bad. but humans as a species are not solitary, we’re social b/c that’s how we all exist in relation to each other, society is innate to us and not some Luxury that distances us from our True Natures. we communicate with each other and want to work together even beyond helping each other survive and want to connect to each other and total / imposed isolation is Bad for anyone. and i think that love and altruism are Human Nature too. like, it’s weird when it’s treated like some evolutionary mystery why humans (or individuals of other species) would exercise altruism and/or self-destruction (or the risk of it) for the sake of others? like “but it doesn’t make sense b/c for us survival means Passing On Genes, we protect ourselves and our ability to exist and procreate, and we protect those most genetically similar to us, down the line to favoring your most distant cousin over a random stranger,” etc etc What A Mystery Why We Are Altruistic!!! but it’s not?? like? we don’t just see ourselves as individuals and we recognize the self in the other, and that we are all just Arbitrarily the self that we happen to be, and are all The Other to everyone else’s Myself…..and why would humanity not Preserve itself beyond just individuals looking out for just their individual existence? we just like. don’t only prioritize the preservation of our own genetic code. why should it be a less Survivally Successful approach for any individual to look out for any other individual? of Course we give a shit about other randos who don’t have any familial or even any other personal connection to us at all b/c we just care about the survival of other humans. 

anyways! no yeah so i think that Love and Altruism are intrinsic human nature. like creativity and communication. we aren’t like, always doomed to destroy each other b/c That’s Humans For You. denying the humanity in others inherently requires actually just reducing one’s own humanity, yknow??? re: human nature anyways. i know we’re all still technically human regardless of how we act. and that the self-destructive destruction of others is a feature of humanity, but i don’t think it’s one which is Inherent or Inevitable. i.e. the Self-Destruction thing. capitalism is out here threatening everyone’s existence and just so happens to require placing the Wealthy Few above the worth of the lives of all the rest, who are the cheap labor force rather than Just As Human as the richest. anyways. mostly Good! but the point is still that anyone can do Bad regardless so like, who cares if you have some good in your heart, bitch we all do.

(23) ghost - is there someone that you miss having in your life?

still a bit effed up on missing the theoretical concept of an in-person group of people who are consistent in genuinely enjoying / being enthusiastic about time spent with you. one reason it’s theoretical is that i’ve never Really had a whole in-person friend group exaactly. and it’s theoretical b/c idk, it’s not easy for me to feel comfortable Being Myself around others and like, i like being in groups as a rando amongst strangers really easily, but if it’s like, we’re all in a group and talking and stuff, i can just go into [stifled mode] real easily, idk, it’s hard to say whether the times i’ve been Uncomfortable in groups like that is just like, it not being the right people, or that i just will always like smaller groups or just one-on-one or smthing i dunnooooo. either way i get depressed about Wouldn’t It Be Nice though so idk? i guess i would still ideally seek it out. but i also can’t feel like i can actually expect this to happen. on a related note i forgot to mention Briony Atkins as this minor character who is very like me in being someone who is outwardly v withdrawn and quiet and comes across as not speaking b/c she has nothing to say but in reality she’s a passionate and boisterous person who just rarely shows / expresses it around others. i’m out here never talking (and getting the chance to talk aloud and it’s like a mile a minute all at once trying to compensate) and being pretty quiet and people get surprised when i have An Opinion even though i’m super opinionated lol and i just find it really hard to be myself around others unless i’m operating completely on my own and beholden to no one, but even then. anxious

[bizarrebird]

Guys. Guys. Guys. It’s the first Spike episode. He’s here. My shitty boy is here. Full disclosure, Spike is and always has been my favorite character and I do in fact ship Spuffy (yes I am fully aware of the fact that it becomes terrible in season 6 and believe me, I’ll talk about that when we get there. It’s bad, Spike is bad, the writing is bad, and I hate all of it) but this is not gonna become all Spuffy all the time, I promise. Even this one, no, this liveblog is about appreciating my mom Joyce Summers

So without further ado Season 2, Episode 3: School Hard

We start in Snyder’s office where he’s in full lecture mode to Buffy and random girl (Sheila) about how they’re both super troublesome because Sheila stabbed a teacher with pruning shears (hardcore but what the fuck) and Buffy burned down a gym*. Synder tells them that Parent-Teacher night is coming up and, to avoid expulsion, they’re in charge of setting it up and if they do well, he will tell their parents they aren’t complete gremlins. Buffy clearly wants to toe the line and Sheila doesn’t give a crap and runs off to make out with someone who she calls ‘meatboy’ (I have questions Sheila) Xander and Willow show up for playful banter and discuss the situation and then Xander jinxes everything cause he’s a fuck

And now we cut to the bEST FUCKING ENTRANCE EVER as a car mows down the ‘Welcome to Sunnydale’ sign, blaring music and outsteps my shit boy in all his duster wearing, bleach blonde, vampire glory. There he is. That motherfucker. Spike. And here we mark where the show really gets good** before we go to OPENING CREDITS

After the credits we see some generic vamps and the anointed babby talking about who’s gonna step up now that the Master’s gone. I guess there’s an evil power vacuum or something going on? but no one wants the gig cause Buffy will make whoever steps up dust. Random Vampire says he’ll kill her cause some vampire holiday is coming up that gives them more power, so it’s the perfect time to strike. He’s all speechifying and bragging when Spike (my sweet shitlord) cuts him off and calls him on his shit, cause Spike’s the guy you call when someone needs a dick slapped out of their mouth

Spike starts talking to the baby, saying he knows about the slayer problem and he can help cause he’s already killed two before (one of them who’s coat he’s wearing right now) But he trails off when Drusilla walks in, looking all dainty and lovely and he drops the vamp face case he’s gotta go be soft with her. We get the idea pretty quick that Dru isn’t all there and Spike makes mention of the fact that she’s weak for some reason (I think it’s explained later, but I can’t remember the exact details off the top of my head rn) Spike and Dru do their sweet, but creepy weird thing and he announces they’re moving in and that he’ll deal with Buffy as long as the baby keeps his goons in line

Now we go to Buffy and Joyce in the old Summers abode. Mama Joyce has apparently not been told by Buffy that parent-teacher night is happening and they have some serious talks about Buffy’s previous issues and how moving was hard on both of them. The scene closes out with Buffy being clearly iffy on her feelings about not telling her mom the truth about the slaying stuff and then we go back to high school and prep for parent-teacher night. Buffy (in adorable overalls) works on decorations with Willow and Xander’s there too I guess, and they decide to go to the Bronze because Angel, which means she has a million things to balance and here come Giles and Jenny with one more thing to add to the pile: super vampire night

Giles is... kind of a dick about things, saying slaying has to come first, but Willow and Xander volunteer to help to try to lighten the load. And here comes Giles with the Watcher’s shittiest rule that the slayer must fight alone because reasons???? (no like what the fuck, it’s the shittiest rule and clearly that hasn’t helped all the previous slayers not die, fuck the watcher’s council honestly) Synder shows up and notices Sheila isn’t there. Buffy covers for her just in time for a clearly hungover Sheila to show up and ask Buffy about the burning down a building thing (cause Joss just really loves sucking his own creative dick)

And we go to the Bronze where Buffy’s trying to study and party simultaneously and that’s going about as well as you’d expect. Buffy’s hoping Angel will show up, but so far nothing, so she agrees to dance with Xander as we see Spike looming in the back of the club. He talks one of his lackeys into attacking a random club goer and then loudly announces someone’s being attacked so he can watch Buffy in action (and he doesn’t have heart eyes yet, but like... you know he’s into it) Xander manages to not be a useless slug boy and goes and grabs Buffy a stake from her purse so she can kill rando vamp. Spike then slow claps (cause yes, even my baby is a tool) and says he’s gonna come after her on Saturday when the vamps get all super charged and slinks away

Next we see Sheila leaving the club with two random guys, who get yanked away off camera and then SURPRISE SPIKE RIGHT BEHIND HER. He flirts and it’s creepy and we know it’s not gonna end well. Cut to the library with the Scoobies trying to research Spike and coming up empty. Luckily Angel shows up then and he knows what’s up with Spike although Buffy’s a little more interested in why he didn’t show up earlier. But then just as people are asking Angel about Spike, Angel just leaves cause drama and he’s an asshole

There’s dramatic music and some chanting as we move to Drusilla being creepy with some dolls. Spike tries to talk her into eating because she’s weak (something something mob in Prague), but Dru just wants to be weird and tells Spike he has to get the other vamps to trust him more. He agrees, on the condition that she eat Sheila. The scene cuts before we see what happens and we find the Scoobies prepping for parent-teacher night and super vamp throwdown

Parent-teacher night begins and Buffy’s big plan is to just stop Snyder from getting anywhere near Joyce (fair, he’s a disgusting lizard man) Buffy is stressing as Cordy approaches and tells her her mom is super hot (not in those exact words, but listen Cordelia is bi and she’s a queen) Joyce mentions that she’s having a strangely difficult time actually talking to any of Buffy’s teachers, how strange. This of course is wen Snyder finally catches up with her and asks to speak to her in his office. insert scare chord here

Meanwhile in the library, Giles finds a book talking about Spike and his old moniker ‘William the Bloody’ and that he has killed two slayers, so he means business. Back with Buffy we see Snyder and Joyce return and clearly Mama Summers isn’t happy with whatever he told her (idk what the fuck he even would tell her, Buffy has don’t nothing wrong ever in her life and the lizard man is just mad that he can’t ever hope to be as pretty as her) As Synder’s turning off the lights on parent-teacher night the school windows get smashed as like a dozen vampires burst through cause Spike got tired of waiting and decided to  say fuck it and attack early. Great idea there. I love this guy, but he’s an idiot

Buffy leaps into action and gets her mom and most other people to safety. Cordelia and Willow get attacked by a vamp, but Willow saves Cordy and the two of them stumble into a supply closet to have their shared gay awakenings (okay listen it would be a good ship, I swear) Buffy tries to get everyone into the library, but vampires cut them off and she has to herd them into a different room. The power goes out and one of Spike’s lackeys says they lost the slayer. Annoyed, Spike murders a random teacher/parent and decides if he wants something done right, he has to do it himself

Giles apparently has a secret way out through the library and sends Xander (after some whining) to go get Angel cause he knows Spike somehow. Back in the classroom Snyder’s a little shit and wants to bust out the windows to run, but Buffy tells him not to and starts giving orders before making to head into the vents. Joyce tries to stop her, but Buffy goes anyway (mooooom, all the other kids get to fight demons) Spike’s wandering the halls being creepy and passes right by Cordelia and Willow’s hiding place. Cordy starts panicking, so Willow gets all up close and personal to put a hand over her mouth (hey Willow, you know another way you could keep her quiet wink wink nudge nudge IT’S REAL GAY IN THAT CLOSET LISTEN)

In the library, Giles is about to bust out to go help Buffy (who has to work alone now, huh? Look I’m glad he’s being less shitty now, but I’m still holding that line against him, that was garbage) But the air vent above him opens and surprise ceiling Buffy is here now. She insists she’s gonna handle all the vamps, just like Giles told her too, and she has to do it alone, just like Giles told her too (HMM PERCHANCE A PATTERN IS HAPPENING HERE) And she tells Giles that he’s gotta get her mom and the others out in case she doesn’t make it back

Back in the classroom, Snyder’s being a dipshit and Joyce is telling him not to and being a proud mama saying they should listen to what Buffy says. Snyder’s a fuck stick and convinces another guy to go out the window anyway (guess how that’s gonna go) Out in the hall, Spike finds a fireaxe (that they just... have in a school??? really???? no one thinks this is a safety hazard???? okaaaay) and in three two one--the guy Snyder sends through the window gets munched on. Who could have guessed. Joyce quickly shuts the window and is a big enough person not to say ‘I told you so’ even though it’s totally warranted

Xander gets there with Angel, who goes all vamp mode and pretends he caught Xander. Meanwhile Cordy and Willow are still in that closet, sitting real close cause they’re totes gay. Buffy’s still in the ceiling, which Spike has picked up on and he starts trying to force her out. She pops out right on top of the vamp trying to get at Joyce and the others and stakes the shit out of him. Joyce, who is also a queen, tells Buffy to save herself, but Buffy says nah. Surprise Sheila from nowhere, who Buffy tells to go hide, but she grabs a fireaxe and follows Buffy to ‘help’

In another hallway, Spike’s still jabbing the ceiling fishing for Buffy when Angel shows up all vamp face. Spike calls him ‘Angelus’ (huh wonder what that’s about) They hug and that’s not a bro hug cause these fellas are bi (Joss can deny it all he wants, but they are. We all know it, say they’re bi Joss, say it you coward***) They shoot the shit, clearly showing they go waaaaay back. Angel’s putting on a decent act, which Xander apparently falls for cause he is instantly down to believe any guy who’s into Buffy**** is super evil, and he offers to let Spike snack on him

Meanwhile, Buffy’s about to do some slaying, but we see Sheila behind her all vamped out, not surprising, but kinda sad. Giles sees her through the window and yells warning her to look out. Buffy ducks and stakes the first vamp, but lets Sheila get away. With the way clear, she has Giles get her mom and the others out and, despite Joyce trying to get her to come along, Buffy doesn’t go. There’s more vamps to slay

Back with our totally hetero boys who are about to share a tasty Xander snack, Spike asks Angel why he hasn’t killed Buffy and he says seeing her kill the master made him play good vamp. Spike goes with it for two seconds and then punches out Angel, cause he knows he’s full of shit and starts getting really upset and emotional, you know the way a totally straight dude would when his totally straight friend bro betrays him. He moves in for the kill, but Angel and Xander book it out the door. Before Spike can follow, he hears a Buffy sound that draws his attention

Spike brags a little about the last slayer he killed begging for her life, but says he doesn’t think Buffy will do that (correct, he knows a tough lady when he sees one and he respects that) He then says that he’ll make it quick and try not to let it hurt when he kills her and sounds weirdly genuine about it, not that Buffy pays that much attention, cause she’s soooo not impressed with him. They fight and it’s super hot. Meanwhile outside, Xander’s getting his ass kicked and Angel saves him as Giles gets the civilians out, but Mama Summers stops cause Buffy still isn’t there and she has to protect her baby

Spike manages to get the upper hand, but then FIREAXE TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD AND JOYCE TO THE FUCKING RESCUE with a “You get the hell away from my daughter”

Joyce telling bitches to back off her daughter before it was cool, I love her so, so much

Spike runs off cause two powerful Summers ladies is waaaaay too much for him to handle. Joyce and Buffy hug and it’s wonderful and everything is good (wonder how long that will last, fuck you Joss) Snyder’s shown talking to the cops, who seem to know something’s up with the situation, syaing they’re going to tell the press the “usual story” and cover the vamp attack as gang violence, showing people in town aren’t quite as out of the loop as they’ve seemed. Giles and Jenny talk and flirt and that’s cute. We see Angel and Xander talking about the situation before, Angel makes excuses, and Xander whines

Buffy and Joyce walk together and Joyce is so proud and I’m gonna cry. Oh also, Cordelia and Willow are still in the closet and really, they should just make out already to pass the time

We go back to the anointed bab’s hideout where Spike’s complaining about this slayer having family and friends makes her harder to deal with (HUH WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT WATCHER’S COUNCIL HOW FUCKING INTERESTING) Dru reassures him before he goes to talk to the anointed one, who grumps at him for not killing Buffy. Spike makes it two words into an apology before changing his tune and putting the baby vamp into a cage, which he lifts into the light of the sun to burn him up, officially making him and Dru the new big bads in town

FINAL THOUGHTS: Good episode, my son is here now and we’re onto more personal conflicts, which is very much a good thing. Also Joyce was a shining star here and I love her.

For the record I’m gonna skip Inca Mummy Girl and Reptile Boy cause you couldn’t pay me enough to watch that first episode suck Xander’s dick, and the second one is very meh filler and Cordelia’s already been captured twice this season and I’m kinda tired of that.

So next up is Season 2, Episode 6: Halloween

*Ooookay so this probably confuses some people, and for good reason. See we don’t see Buffy burn down a gym ever in the show. This is because it was supposed to happen in the preceding Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie. To those of you who have seen that movie (I’m so, so sorry) that probably doesn’t make this make any more sense because no gyms burned down there. This is because the gym burned down in Joss Whedon’s original script for said movie, but it never made it to the film because the movie was a fucking trainwreck and you can literally see the point where he started to lose any creative control. However, that doesn’t stop Joss from thinking that scrip was god’s gift to cinema and will insist on referencing it and treating it as canon despite, you know, it never being more than just a script

**I don’t mean just because of Spike, though he does play a part in it. See, this is the turning point away from the more generic doomsday villains like the Master, who was vaguely threatening, but kind of a nothing entity, and go for more personal villains and overarching plots, which is really what makes the show special. Spike, Drusilla and *SPOILERS* later Angelus were the first villains who really made things super personal for Buffy and the Scoobies, giving the conflicts new depth and intrigue. Not that the show was bad before this, but this episode really marks where it starts Growing the Beard as tropers would say

***For the record, this is not shipping goggles talking. This is due to the fact that, in later seasons of Buffy and Angel, the Spike/Angel dynamic is played up a lot. There is very clear if not romantic, at least sensual and sexual subtext here, culminating with Spike’s line in season 5 of Angel “Angel and I were never intimate, well, except that one time” indicating that there is some kind of sexual history there. Joss Whedon has also vagued in interviews saying (paraphrasing cause I don’t remember the exact words) “they’re open minded guys, y’know they’ve been together for so long, something must’ve happened there” However, he won’t say they or any other characters are bi cause Joss Whedon doesn’t think bisexuals exist, despite the fact that he has written several bisexual characters whether he will admit it or not

****Any guy except Riley, who, when we get there, Xander’s never gonna shut up about how great he is and how really Buffy is the one that doesn’t deserve Riley cause of that cool thing Xander does where his mouth moves, but Joss Whedon talks

[plush-anon]

plush reviews: pirates ahoy! (collected)

for my own personal reference, decided to collect the singular posts into one, w/ breaks between each original post below the cut

I will say this, the opening credits for this one are pretty dang good - nice visuals flow together with some wonderful music to create a compelling overview of the Bermuda Triangle and some of the wild theories commonly associated with it, as well as how far back these myths go. Kudos 🤗

also, I did not realize how short this movie is - paused it for a second and it’s only 70 minutes long apparently. huh

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oh man, good times - I forgot how stilted and choppy the WNSD animation could get in some shots.

annnnnd there’s the cotton candy fog. it moves like it’s on a skateboard being pulled across the screen XD

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finally cut to the gang - i honestly like this shot of everyone in the car. daphne paints her nails like my sister used to when we were young - on the dashboard on long car rides 😅 the nausea from the smell led to some “fun” trips, lemme tell ya 

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oh Casey Kasem, even in old age your Shaggy was memorably good

also the joke on Fred’s age never gets old XD like, you guys grew up together as kids in this continuity, how could you not know his age, much less that he’s obvs not in his 40s? still a fun one tho

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another thing i forgot about WNSD continuity - Shaggy’s character model being like 2 feet taller than Fred in some shots

also the gang being legitimate friends and liking each other and getting along, unlike some portrayals *side-eyes sdmi*

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i think this is my fave version of fred’s parents, although i do love Professor Huh from be cool scooby doo. they are EXACTLY how i picture the people who raised the sdway/wnsd version of Fred to be 

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holy crap, i forgot Kathy Najimy was in this 

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actually, here’s a thought: why haven’t they graduated Frank Welker to playing Fred’s dad in a show, and hired someone else to play Fred?

granted, the man still (uncannily I might add) sounds exactly like he did in the 60s (hOW?!?) but it’s strange they haven’t tried to do that yet apart from maybe pup named sd, where he played fred’s… uncle, i think and i guess kind of with the new scoob 2020 movie, where he only plays scooby

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…i think the captain of the ship just got beamed aboard the Enterprise o_O 

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the alien has the general head shape of the ones from Alien Invaders and the claw hands of dr claw from inspector gadget

also, whoever designs fred’s facial expressions in this movie is having waaaay too much fun (although kudos for actually… you know… making them. some characters have very minimal face movement and it’s rather unsettling, especially when the voice acting is actually pretty decent)

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i gotta say, good on fred’s parents for encouraging their son’s interests and talents, as well as getting him a birthday gift that he can not only enjoy, but also inviting his friends along for.

…unlike SOME incarnations *glares at sdmi*

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holy fcuk shaggy just brought back the ghost of captain cutler, glow-in-the-dark diving suit and all O_O 

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dang, velma’s lounge wear looks cozy. i’m glad they haven’t tried to force her into something weird

camp scare put her in a white bathing suit, which was… really odd for her, color scheme wise. altho the storyboard artists reaaaaaally wanted to do a drawn out, slo-mo play-in-the-water thing with velma and daphne in that one, so maybe that contributed to it? idk

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i do like that the gang inadvertently solves every mystery on a mystery cruise - that cracks me up 

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cripes, they keep cutting back and forth between a decently animated shot of the gang on a polished background, and this almost MS Paint looking rough animation of the castaway being guided on the deck, which is all flat colors and rough black lines. it looks terrible

the animation quality is all over the place here

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and suddenly man in a jetpack

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RON PERLMAN?!?!?

how the FRICK did they get him on this movie cast?! this is post-hellboy!

( also apparently arsenio hall voices the captain. who the heck had all these high rollers on speed-dial at the studio that day)

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actually, here’s a thought: given the voice cast we have, and how i’m actually able to follow this without having to look at the screen all the time (i’m folding laundry rn), this could make for a really decent comedy mystery radio show.

think about it! get a decent voice cast and writing team, and there’s a lot you can do with Scooby on the radio. you may not be able to do the chase scenes as well, but those can be worked around pretty easily with a solid writing team. i’d be interested in seeing that come to reality in all honesty - it could be fun!

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another thing i just noticed: Scooby hasn’t talked NEARLY as much in this one as he does in later shows/movies. I forgot how much I missed that from him 

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wait a tic that’s Dan Castellaneta as the hypnotist

seriously, who was able to get all these people on board for a Scooby Doo DTV about pirates

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now here’s an interesting moment/snafu: Shaggy and Scooby canNOT be hypnotized, according to this movie, but the clown in SDWAY was able to hypnotize them both using the exact same method - a gold circular object on a chain swung back and forth.

then there was Legend of the Phantasaur much much later able to hypnotize Shaggy so successfully he overcame his panic disorder

was it because they weren’t allowed to eat prior? their meal was continuously interrupted before they were dragged onstage. maybe being actively hungry and denied food when it’s right in front of them blocks them from being hypnotized properly…?, idk but it’s food for thought, for sure 😁

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ehehe, one of the background guests is wearing a Tin Man costume from the Wizard of Oz

alas, this is prolly as close to a crossover as I’ll ever get between my first two fandoms ever and maybe that’s for the best

(honestly kind of surprised there's never been a scooby themed oz-related adventure tbh public domain and recognizeable)

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it took about half an hour into the movie for the title villains to actually encounter the gang, or almost exactly halfway through the movie. that’s actually pretty odd for a scooby movie, isn’t it?   especially when they haven’t encountered any other mystery except the fake-y ones (a lot start off with an in-progress mystery to finish up before being introduced to the main)

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welp, villain’s been spoiled, it’s ron perlman’s character as the pirate captain…

*sighs* Pirate Captain Skunkbeard

like… you get freaking Slade from the teen titans, Hellboy Himself, to voice your baddy… and you give him a name like Skunkbeard.

could have been something cool like Capt Barnaby Bones, or Cuthbert Butcher the Red Pirate, or SteelHook Slater, or Morgan “Moonscar” McWright (okay, that one’s been used before, but the point stands dammit!)

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holy moly, one of the pirates just tried to cut scooby and shaggy’s head off with an actual blade

it cut clean through their costume heads with one swipe

jesus christ on a bike, what is WRONG with you?!?!

(sometimes these scooby dtvs have moments like this. moments that explain how it is shag and scoob have what is likely ptsd for days)

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*gang follows trail of oozy green liquid sheen to the pirate ship*

now see, i thought those wooden ships weren’t supposed to pollute the oceans back in the day

(tho it does work as a solid clue i’ll grant em that)

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shaggy, why aren’t you more excited to go into the cotton candy fog? it’s clearly grape and green apple flavored! 

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…i think one pirate just killed another one during that sea shanty there

brutal

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so i didn’t mention earlier, but tim conway is fred’s dad, and i think he’s the only voice star in this i’m not surprised at - he’s been on the new scooby doo mysteries as their celebrity guest of the week, so him coming back is more like a belated reunion

that being said, his voice work here varies wildly between ‘what the heck take was that’ and ‘hysterical’ - it’s quite odd

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and suddenly the cruise ship is sunk, and the gang is on an island

alrighty then

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the captions are cracking me up right now - not a single one has spelled “bananas” right

it only spells it as “banas” 🤣🤣🤣

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“Prepare to suffer the wrath of Capt Skunkbeard!”

…nope, that’s still not intimidating. try again sir.

(truly i am made to sail the seas, for i am salty af on this name)

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‘Seize them!’

fade to black

come back in on gang tied to the pirate ship mast

…really? the gang has escaped far worse than a group of pirates before (and usually to some funky tunes), and you’re saying they were captured just like that?

fred, please tell me this is a plan of yours, otherwise this is just dumb

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sooo the pirates want to find a place that matches a painting of stars from 200 years ago… without ever stopping to consider that the painting could just be a pretty picture?

it’s a small painting, and i don’t think that star maps were really used like that back in the 1800s when it was purportedly made (at least not from what they look like on wikipedia… none of them look like pretty wall paintings)

these pirates are kinda dumb, methinks

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the ghosts of the bermuda triangle, including world war fighter places, old exploration ships, and a sea monster are apparently trying to stop the pirates

because the pirates want to time travel and rule the sea throughout time

and they needed the pretty pretty picture to lead them to the time travel macguffin they want to retrieve… which is also the sole reason the Bermuda Triangle is all bermuda triangly to begin with, when it fell to earth from space itself.

…say what now?

...that has to be one of the dumbest time travel plots i've ever heard and i sat through endgame twice

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the macguffin is a solid gold meteor

a giant hunk of gold literally as larger as twenty of the pirates put together, and you want to use it to time travel instead of selling that shit and being made for life

why are none of you smart

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yet again i see scooby shoot someone with an item that should have killed them outright and ended the mystery right there

moon monster madness had scooby shoot the alien with a missile on the moon, and pirates ahoy has him shoot a cannon at someone point blank with only a wooden door immediately between them

shrapnel should have shredded that pirate to bits, if even that much was left after that

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okay, the time travel thing turns out to be a hoax the hypnotist uses to convince the billionaire to finance his search for the literal meteor of solid gold located in the heart of the Bermuda Triangle

that’s a relief at least - Scooby Doo has done some weird shit in its days, but time travel does not need to be one of them

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well, at least we finally have the answer to who would win in a fight - homer simpson or scooby doo?

(obvs scooby, of course :D)

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according to velma, everyone on the cruise was hypnotized into believing they were pirates (including fred’s mom), but doesn’t hypnotism only work if the person actually subconsciously agrees with/goes along with the suggestions?

does that mean that at least one person on the cruise ship wanted to behead someone, since they nearly succeeded with Shag and Scoob? does that mean the fred’s mom secretly wants to kill her husband, since she tried to have him thrown overboard the ship while she was hypnotized?

the questions this raises, they are unsettling thoughts indeed 😨

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“Wouldn’t you like a nice ski trip to the Himalayas?”

“And risk a run in with the Abominable Snowman?! Forget it!”

exactly one year later (no joke, it came out exactly one year later):

“Join Scooby and Shaggy as they run in terror from the Abominable Snowman in the Himalayas, in Chill Out Scooby Doo!”

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And that was Scooby Doo Pirates Ahoy!

That was a relatively fun, if dumb, done-in-one mystery. What really saves this one (especially given the REALLY inconsistent animation quality, from acceptable to ‘someone used MS Paint didn’t they?’ levels) was the voice cast. I don’t know what blackmail they had on these guys, but the voice acting was really dang good.

Probably too good - the bad guys’ voices are so memorable you know immediately who they are when you hear them.

The time travel spiel was unbelievably dumb, only saved by the fact it was a hypnotic ruse, and some of the stuff doesn’t quite mesh that well? Like the padding on the desert island, and some of the really weird plot contrivances like the painting being the exact map to a giant ass solid gold meteor :/

Still, a solid set-up (mystery cruise in the Bermuda Triangle) with some new elements (Fred’s parents, an absolute delight) make it a fun film for the wee ones. I’d call this a keeper at the end of the day.

Then again, I really have forgotten how nice it is to see the gang as actual supporting friends and have it feel sincere. Be Cool Scooby Doo was mostly for humor, but the kids still felt like they liked each other well enough.

WNSD on the other hand really made them feel like actual friends, based on body language around each other, general closeness, and a warm comradery that’s hard to replicate. For the flaws this show has, this is certainly not one of them.

That’s all for tonight folks. Sleep well, me hardies yo ho!