#more incoming but i keep getting distracted by stardew

[estir-esper]

showtime yuri

[leo-fie]

A few days ago I had the terrible thought that in playing Stardew Valley I was engaging in the same pastoralism as Marie Antionette and the romantic art movement.

But I dare to say that I - that we do not.

Of course having a fun game to distract you from the existential dread of late stage capitalism is not a bad thing.

I also don't think that pastoralism is wholly bad either. It was patronizing af, but also understandable. During the industrial revolution this art recognized that whole industries were falling away, that livelyhoods were being destroyed and saw the alienation that working in a factory brought (See the Podcast It Could Happen Here on the Luddites).

I don't have a problem with Marie Antionette's toy cottage either. In a vacuum. Monarchy is the problem.

And Stardew Valley doesn't try to tell us that farm labour is somehow more pure or philosophically meaningful than other work. It's hard. You're broke. You never have enough time. Every piece of equipment that makes your chores easier is earned.

I'm especially fond of the time mechanic. Half a day to do your chores, hours to get into the village and then the person you wanted to talk to is nowhere to be found anyway. And everything is just so exhausting. Feels a little like living with autism honestly.

I have personal experience with a Streuobstwiese, a southern german style of supplementary farming that is basically just a meadow with some fruit trees and berry bushes. The idea is that you produce hay for some animals you may have (rabbits, chicken, goats) and that you sell the fruit for profit to the local beverage company. Also maybe a vegetable garden and a place to spend summers with the family.

It was hard work. It was unsatisfying work. We were at the mercy of forces beyond our control. It could only ever be extra income because we could never depend on it producing anything at all.

I see a glimse of that hardship in Stardew Valley. Even if it's a game around fun and achievement, where plants generally grow as they're suppost to, there are no heatwaves or hailstorms that kill a whole regions harvest and you don't have to use pesicides to keep the worms out of your apples.

Anyway, that's just my thoughts. I'm fairly new to Stardew Valley, so it's possible I misunderstood the messaging.

Also there's something to be said how much about what we spend our free time with is about our longing for unalienated labour. I may come back to this.

[astra90x]

Flufftober Day 15 - Accidents Don’t Just Happen Accidentally

@flufftober

Fandom: Stardew Valley

Pairing: Sebastian x Reader

Word Count: 2002

Reader Pronouns: She/Her

Warnings: Cursing

This is one chapter of an entire linear story! It can be read separately but is better when read as a whole. Enjoy!

❤❤❤♡♡♡♡♡

Every morning, after checking over your crops, your next stop is always to head to your barn. It’s been a few months since you got your first cow, and now you’re the proud owner of three (two brown, one white) and even a goat. You spend about a half hour milking them all, making sure they’re fed, and giving them the love they deserve. Even though they can’t be considered “pets,” you love them as if they were. 

You get to the barn a little later in the morning than you usually do, since you had to collect some of your eggplants and put them away, so the cows are even more excited to see you than usual. The goat is still warming up to you as you’ve only had her for a few weeks, but she still trots over to sniff curiously at your feet before prancing away again. 

“Sorry I’m late, ladies,” you say as you drag your stool and bucket over from the corner of the barn. “I hope you guys are ready to be milked.” 

One of your cows, Lola, moos softly at you, so you take that as a sign that she wants to be first and set the stool up next to her. You give her a few pats first and then start to knead her udders to make the milk spurt out. 

You’re halfway through the process when you hear a knock on the door of the barn. Glancing back, you see Sebastian. Not exactly the optimal time for him to see you, while you’re wearing your dirty work overalls and are covered in the spray of cow milk, but it’s nice to see him anyway. 

“Hey, what are you doing here?” you ask, directing your voice towards him but turning your attention back to milking the cow before she gets too impatient. 

“Just wanted to see what you were up to today, thought maybe I could stop by and get a sample of farm life,” replies Sebastian. “Am I interrupting anything?”

“Not at all, you’re free to come in if you want to.” You squeeze the cow’s udders one final time and then give her a light pat on her haunch to let her know that she’s free to go. “Just don’t close the door behind you, the inside latch is broken so it’ll lock from the outside.” Sebastian nods and heads inside, crouching down next to you on the stool so he’s close to your eye level. 

“You do this every morning?” he asks as you stand up from your stool and lead the next cow over. 

“Yup! It’s hard work, but it’ll keep my income steady during the winter when I can’t grow crops, and these animals are like my family.” You stroke the cow standing in front of you as you sit down again, then get to work milking. Sebastian watches curiously. 

“This doesn’t hurt them?” he asks, watching your fingers work on the udders. 

“Not at all,” you respond. “Would you like to give it a go? It’s easy once you get the hang of it.” 

“Oh, um, sure.” You stand up and gesture to the stool, where Sebastian sits and looks at the cow in front of him, seeming completely lost. “Do I just… pull?”

“Don’t pull, squeeze.” Leaning forward over Sebastian’s shoulder, you demonstrate how he should be moving his hands. Then, to get him started, you gently take hold of his fingers and show him where to place them. He starts to follow your instructions and lets out a gasp when the milk squirts out and splatters all over him. 

“You might want to aim a little further down,” you say, unable to suppress your laughter. Sebastian rolls his eyes but tries again, this time managing to get (most of) the milk into the pail. 

You’re so distracted watching Sebastian milk the cow that you’re half a second too late to notice creaking from behind you. You turn just in time to see your beloved Lola nudging the barn door shut with her nose, locking it from the outside. 

“Lola!” you scream, but it’s already too late. She looks over at you curiously with her big, dark eyes, acting as if she didn’t just trap you inside your barn. Sebastian has stopped milking his cow, and he’s now staring, mouth slightly agape, at the closed door. 

“That’s bad,” he says simply. You spin around to look at him, panic evident on your face.

“Please tell me you brought your phone.” 

Sebastian shoves his hands into his hoodie pocket, but his face falls. “Shit, it was dead, so I left it at home.”

“Mine is in the house, I never take it out with me when I’m doing chores,” you say. “Fuck!”

“Take a deep breath, we’re going to be fine,” assures Sebastian. “It’s a small town, someone’s going to notice we’re gone and come looking at some point.” 

“Yeah, you’re right. I need to calm down.” You close your eyes and take a deep breath in. You’re going to be okay. 

“I can try the door if you want. See if I can jimmy it open,” suggests Sebastian. You don’t think there’s much point, but you nod, so Sebastian gets up and heads to the entrance of the barn. You, meanwhile, still have to get your cows milked, so you sit down on the stool and focus your energy on your chores. 

You finish the third cow (the goat is still too young to be milked, so no need to worry about her) right as Sebastian comes back from the door, shaking his head. 

“No luck. I tried shifting the door to reach the latch outside but it won’t open enough.”

“It’s okay, thanks for trying.” You give the third cow a light pat and she saunters away, heading to the trough in the back to get a snack for herself. “I’m really sorry you’re stuck in here.”

“It’s not your fault, no need to be sorry,” replies Sebastian. “We just have to make the best of it, right?” 

“Right.” You take note that Sebastian is still standing, and you lift yourself off the stool, gesturing to it. “You can sit if you want, I’m okay to stand.”

“Even though I spend most of the day in front of a desk, I’m still capable of standing,” he responds, his tone humourous. Instead of taking the stool, he walks over to one of your cows and asks, “Can I pet her?” 

“Of course! She likes being scratched around her ears the most.” Sebastian brings both hands up and starts to stroke the cow behind her ears. She closes her eyes and leans into him with a look of bliss on her face. It’s pretty adorable, how happy they both look.

Meanwhile, you spot Lola laying down on the floor on the other side of the barn, so you walk over to her and lower yourself to the ground, using her large body as a backrest. She turns to look at you when you sit down and you stroke her neck, smiling a little. 

“I forgive you, Lola, I know you didn’t mean to lock us in here,” you say. She moos at you in response, almost like she understands. 

You hear footsteps and look up in time to see Sebastian sitting on the floor to your left, leaning against Lola as well. He drums his fingers on his knees but doesn’t say anything, even though he looks like he wants to. 

“I just remembered that Elliott is supposed to be coming over for lunch, so we’ll probably only be in here a few more hours,” you say. Sebastian nods. 

“I wasn’t super worried,” he replies. “I could be doing worse things today than hanging out with you and some cows.” He reaches back and strokes Lola, a look of contentment on his face. 

“I think she likes you,” you note, to which Lola moos in response. You rub the space between her ears and smile fondly at her. 

How does she respond? By leaning her head in and giving you a hard shove with her nose, pushing you right into Sebastian. 

Even though the push wasn’t too forceful, it catches you off guard enough that you topple over, landing half in Sebastian’s lap. He jerks slightly in surprise but still manages to break your fall with his arms. 

“Oh my goodness, I’m sorry, Sebastian,” you apologize, pushing yourself off of him and shooting a dirty glare in Lola’s direction. “I have no idea what’s gotten into her, she usually doesn’t misbehave this much.” 

Sebastian doesn’t get a chance to respond because Lola flicks her tail at Sebastian, hitting him hard in the arm and causing him to recoil enough that he almost falls on top of you, too. You’re sitting close enough now that your thighs and shoulders are brushing together. 

“Lola!” you scold. “What is with you today!?” She moos softly again, craning her neck to prod you with her nose once more. The coldness of it naturally makes you move away, pushing you even further into Sebastian. 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she’s trying to push us together,” Sebastian says. Though his words seemed to cause no reaction within him, you instantly feel blood rising in your cheeks. Looking back at Lola, you’re suddenly a little intimidated by the intelligence you see behind her eyes. 

“She’s just being naughty,” you reply. “I’m sorry, once again.”

“It’s alright, I don’t mind.” Sebastian’s hands are still on his knees, something that you only notice when your fingers brush against his. His hand stiffens slightly, and he says, “You’re freezing.” 

It is pretty cold in the barn since it’s a chillier day outside and you haven’t had a chance to buy a heater from Marnie for the upcoming winter. Plus, you’re only wearing a t-shirt under your overalls, since you usually work up quite a sweat doing your farm work. 

“I guess I’m a bit cold.” You bring up your hands to rub your arms, trying to generate heat, but it doesn’t work as well as you hoped it would. And now that you’ve noticed the cold, it’s impossible to ignore. 

“That’s not going to work, you know,” says Sebastian. “Come here.” 

You’re not sure what Sebastian means by that until you feel him shift next to you, and his sweatered arm makes its way around your shoulders. He pulls his hoodie down over his hand and uses it to rub some warmth back into your skin, doing the same with his other hand and your left arm. 

You think your face might actually be on fire. 

The feeling of Sebastian so close to you, cradling you in the way he is to try and warm you up, it just feels so… intimate. You allow yourself the pleasure of closing your eyes and leaning in a little closer until your cheek falls onto Sebastian’s chest. He takes a breath, surprised, but it’s half a second before he relaxes again and continues to run his hands up and down your arms. 

It’s so comforting, so safe, to be like this, that you barely even notice yourself growing tired until you drift off to sleep. 

~~~

When Elliott opens the barn door a few hours later, wondering where you had gone, he’s surprised to find not only you, but Sebastian as well, leaning against a cow by the far wall of the barn. Not only that, but all three of you, cow included, are asleep. Elliott smiles a little to himself. 

He figures he can always come back another day for lunch, so he grabs a rock, props the door open, and leaves again. But he can’t shake the expressions he saw on both yours and Sebastian’s faces. Though you were both asleep, it was impossible to deny the affection that was clearly there. Elliott knows a budding relationship when he sees it. 

❤❤❤❤♡♡♡♡

[buffbabie]

(  jeon jungkook  ♡   twenty-two  ♡  male  ♡   he/him  )   i   just  heard    YOGI BAE   blasting   to    SUGAR  by BROCKHAMPTON !    i   mean ,  it's   not    surprising .   the   squad    knows   them   as    THE   CLOWN  ,   since   they're    IMAGINATIVE  &   CHAOTIC …    maybe   that's   because   they're   a   huge    ARIES .   on   a   good   day ,   you'll   find   them at    THE COMIC BOOK STORE .   let's    hope   to   see   more   of   them !  

hewwo. 

background stuff.

his parents were 16 and 17 when the accident pleasantly known as yogi was created. 

his mother despised the idea of being a teen mom, but she was also way too scared to do anything BUT give birth to him.

not at all good parents. they attempted for about a year, but his father turned eighteen and kinda... just bailed. his mom was overwhelmed by responsibilities and eventually gave up custody to none other than yogi’s father’s parents. 

honestly, after that, he was raised in a... relatively normal home. his grandfather did not get along with him, but yogi got older and realized it had to do with looking so much like his ‘disappointment of a son’. 

yogi tried to satisfy his grandparents as a well behaved child, but a lot of the time he felt like everything he did was somehow wrong. fun!

he got along rly well with his grandma, at the very least. she was very intense about putting him in different activities ,  trying to find his ‘thing’, but he deadass just wanted to... hang out in his bedroom and make sum online friends and doodle. n read comic books. 

was a very quiet in elementary school. not shy just didn’t rly wanna get in trouble for talking KDSJFKSJD

as he got older he got more and more talkative. now he honest to god never shuts the fuck up he’s always talking like...... he starts one place and ends up somewhere completely different. his mind moves SOOOO fast 

( DEATH TW ) his senior year of high school his grandfather passed away. that’s when his relationship with his grandma rly changed. she was completely devastated and yogi took care of her, not going off to college like he had originally planned and instead kinda... jus hung out with her and tried to give her enough company to kinda distract her from his absence. 

she HOWEVER slowly started getting more n more... mean.  she’d demand he stay and live with her forever but at the same time she’d shame him for not being ‘successful’. there was a lot of back and forth begging him to stay while also calling him a disappointment like his father. it was rly fun times for yogi aha (:

he finally got brave enough to bail and got into an apartment. he still visits her... a LOT like basically once a day but she’s just a very grumpy old lady now. yogi still loves her very much tho.

yogi’s primary income is from commissions of his artwork and the occasional cartoon job that keeps him living well enough to like... survive. 

PERSONALITY.

safe to assume........ wasn’t good at school. not super bright. like at all. but it’s okay

GODDD HES SO IMPULSIVE ITS ACTUALLY HUMILIATING like when i say impulsive... he deadass does not b thinking at ALL. he just MOVES.

can be very ANGRY he like snaps he has an issue kinda he just,,,sdfjsdg YELLS and says VERY mean things. he can get so so so mean. he rly hits u exactly where he knows it’ll hurt

he loves the idea of being in love but also he’s in love with 4234 people at a time. 

will tell someone they’re his everything and then ghost.

hes just an idiot.

dumb.

but it can kinda pass as sorta endearing sometimes.

just love him... he’s just a stupid boy full of love to give. 

kinda a mom friend? will jump up and run if one of the ppl he cares abt needs something no matter how late. u need sum plan b? kk he’s going rn no babies allowed

very obsessive. very dramatic. very jealous.

also rly bad abt being a tease cuz he be changing his mind and rly just likes the excitement and build up of a relationship and runs from the actual dating long term thing KJDFJD

FUN FACTS.

loves goin on bike rides. he has a cute light blue bike with pink flowers that he rides around a lot.

has a dog walking side job for extra cash. 

comes off as Babie Boy but he is NOT babie boy. do not trust it. he can be the biggest horny WHORE sometimes.

loves video games too. mostly plays stardew valley.

not always flirty but he’ll flirt if he’s interested in someone and wants to impress them.

ok now everyone pls plot with me ):

[anonymoustoddler]

I Got Stoned And Started Typing To Post On FB (And Ended With Something That Could NEVER Get Posted)

Hah. I hit my vape pen a bunch and then this happened:

This afternoon, after taking way too many hits of my *state tested, clean and safe* vape pen, I was surfing hulu on my laptop while scrolling through facebook on my phone and playing Stardew Valley on the PS4 every few minutes in between and I suddenly, in fact altogether _casually_ thought to myself, “I wonder if I’d want kids and be able to take care of them if I made it to 38?”

And the thing is, that is literally the most positive organic thought I’ve had in my VERY busy, VERY chatty brain in almost two years. It is the first thought I have had regarding a potential future that wasn’t colored by the idea that My Mom Is Dead So Nothing I Could Do In Life Would Mean Anything Or Be Possible Because She Isn’t Here To Experience It Too Or To Help Me Through.

This stoned, distracted, completely mindless and unfocused random little insignificant thought... is the first time in over a year and a half of thinking, that did not immediately end with, “She’s Dead So You Can’t Ever Hope For That Anymore Because It Means Nothing Now That She Can’t Be There To Experience It Or Get To Be Proud Of Me For Once” and also, “Nothing Is Possible Without Her Because Without Her I’m Alone And Unable Forever Unless Someone Else Takes Over Helping Me But That Will Never Happen And I Will Never Be Ok Or Able On My Own.”

I mean, no wonder I’m doing so poorly and also dealing so badly with her death?! Being close was great in a lot of ways and awful in others. Our codependent enmeshment was deeply and traumatically unhealthy. Having to be your mother’s best and only friend at 8 years old is... really weird. And abnormal. But then, so is developing a diagnosable anxiety disorder and eating disorder at FOUR YEARS OLD is kind of abnormal too!

The thing is... some physical aspects of puberty for me started very early. VERY early. All aspects of puberty seemed to start earlier in me than a lot of girls in my class, in my grade. So maybe it makes sense too then that I would develop these psychological issues so early, particularly with the stress and fear of moving from Texas to Michigan and leaving the first friends I remember having, how terrified I was of change and meeting new people, trying to make new friends. I was so painfully and obviously shy. I was so afraid of people.

But anyway. No one caught the anxiety disorder until I did myself.... in college. I lived with a totally unchecked anxiety disorder and pretty high-but-not-yet-extreme depression from the ages of five and eleven/twelve respectively, and the first time I got ANY help was at the age of 19. No wonder I was sick for so long. The fucking eating disorder is suuuuch a perfect(ly horrifying) coping mechanism. And since it was my primary, and often only, coping mechanism for many many many years, as in almost ALL of the first two decades of my life. Two decades of drilling this into myself of How To Relieve Stress And Self Soothe = Disordered Behaviors And NOTHING ELSE.

Is it really any wonder why I’m like this??? I am dealing with the loss of my only family; my best friend by leaps and bounds and freakin lightyears; my entire and very giving safety net - so I could try something new or move away or whatever and I knew I was safe because if it didn’t work out or I tanked I could ALWAYS go home. Always.

I’m also dealing with the loss of... the person who never let me try things because she was a control freak so I could never learn from her; the person who taught me the

passive aggressive ➡️ passive aggressive ➡️ very aggressive

method of responding to interpersonal relations, which I mean... how could anything go wrong?! 🙃🙃🙃

I’m dealing with the loss of a relationship where my mom once, in all seriousness, asked me if I’d have a baby if I didn’t have to take care of it, she would take care of it for me.

Like, I know part of her was “joking” but... she wanted to be a grandmother. She wanted to see me have a career, a family, security.

But also who sort of benefited from my continued illness; my inability to cope or work; my low functionality, my constant need of help, support, and validation... they made her SO frustrated but also kept her busy and kept her from being alone, kept me with her but also sometimes was too much for her so it was upsetting, because surprise - crazy people gon turn up a notch higher than you can predict, and don’t ever forget that.

I am mourning this relationship that either fully shaped or strongly influenced almost every issue I have now. I don’t mean to shirk responsibility, just to be clear - I have to actually try as much as is literally possible to fix the things in me that are broken. I have to find a therapist and go to therapy. Trust my doctors, try a hundred different meds that might ALL make me horribly sick or even more crazy or both as side effects while still trying to build some kind of life. Maybe, eventually, find one, but also... get out of bed every day. Shower, brush your teeth, get dressed, GET OUT. Grab your coat boots keys purse and go outside. Make it into your car, drive it down a few blocks (depending on where you want coffee/are you reading a book or can you play HP there/etc), get coffee and sit and read or play a bit or work lines or whatever. Make your to do list there! Lay out a plan for the day. Schedule at least two work items then set a timed break for video games or whatever. When the alarm goes off, you MUST get back to work. Two to three more items earns a longer break to play OR taking care of any other immediate need stuff and then going out or something.

If you want to get some casual exercise, go to either mall. Walk around for Shopkick, the game, and to get your blood flowing at least a teensy bit while working out rarely used muscles and burning juuuuust a few calories.

You spend SO much goddamned money on delivery, when actually — Going out yourself is SO much better for you. It is obviously MUCH cheaper, but it’s also good to get out of the house even if only going to and from the car and into the store or restaurant or whatever, and it’s very VERY important to drive the car regularly, to keep the battery functional and the guts ok. ((Also RE: CARS — Next warm day, that Prius goes through an intense car wash. Need to get that shit out so it stops stinking, prob growing mold ugh ugh need fix!))

But I mean JUST THINK how much money you’d have left, maybe to even treat yourself to better things, and also if I stop ordering, I will 100% lose weight. So muck fucking weight lmao. And with a job, I’ve got two sources of income coming in! And hopefully still medicaid for as long as I can possibly have it 😭

This got REALLY away from my stoned assssss BUT. The original point is this:

I thought about myself as potentially being alive six years from now, which is very much not what I see lately but which, for once, didn’t automatically sound like a punishment, and I thought of myself six years older and wondering if I might be better enough to be an ok caregiver and also have a relationship that could sustain children coming in, and I was able to and did have one?? That’s SO bananas to me lol. It made me feel... weirdly hopeful though.

[atomicshakespeare]

Rambling Speed Run Notes From Latest Attempt, written part stream-of-consciousness and part summary of notes

GLITCHLESS MARRIAGE% - ELLIOT - STARDEW VALLEY

There's a reason that nobody's done this run yet. 

For some reason, all the favorite things are too hard to acquire, and the time running back and forth to the beach to give items that aren't his favorite aren't really worth the time put into it.

[KEEP READING TO READ THE ACTUAL RAMBLING, TANGENTIAL THINKING, STRATEGY PROCESSING, AND IN-TEXT CURSING TO SOOTHE MY ACHING SOUL]

So, the easiest thing to get him are Pomegranates. However, it's a 6,000 dollar tree, and there's a chance of that a lighting strike could destroy the tree. Or maybe it doesn't destroy it, but we haven't gotten that far yet.

As far as everything else goes, how do I optimally cut wood for the house and the bridge, route in an additional 15, 200 for the house upgrade, bouquet, and mermaid's pendant?

So we take up SPRING 1 -- Here, we clear the land ASAP, plant the 15 parsnips, spend the 500 gold on 6 CALIFLOWER AND 2 PARSNIPS. Then, we clear the land some more for additional Mixed Seeds and put them down, possibly getting a chance of more Califlower or more potatoes as it goes. Run around until no energy.

SPRING 2 --FUCK UP BECAUSE I ACTUALLY DIDN’T BUY MY OTHER SEEDS UNTIL TODAY, WHEN I HAD THE 500 GOLD ON DAY 1 INSTEAD, THUS LOSING TIME RIGHT OFF RIP. Water shit. Fish all day until no energy. Ship. Sleep.

SPRING 3 - From fishing and random gathering, should have roughly enough for 10+ Potatoes and however many Parsnips to fill the gap. This run was 13 Potatoes and 1 Parsnip. Plant, and fish until no energy. Ship. Sleep.

SPRING 4 - Fish money bought 17 Potatoes and 1 Parsnip. Harvest the 'Snips from Day 1. Ship. Fish. I forgot to ship the fish.

SPRING 5 - Not sure what happened this day, ended up missing a day of productivity. I think it was a water, ship, sleep day.  

SPRING 6 - Fish money bought 22 Parsnips. Fish??

SPRING 7 - ACTUALLY DID THE 22 PARSNIPS ON THIS DAY. NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED. I RECORDED INCORRECTLY OR DIDN'T MAKE ENOUGH NOTES AS IT WAS GOING ON. OPPS.

Things started getting a bit wonky. At this point, I was straggling, trying to save up for strawberries. Did some more fishing, not sure which days I picked or if it was completely until energy was empty.

Fishing seems to be important supplementary income, and probably wouldn't be able to manage without it, as long as it takes.

And then there's also the debate on whether the Mixed Seeds give enough profit for how much work they take to actually acquire. All my attempts feature me trying to go for the Mixed Seed start up plan, and I end up with enough money to really go for it.

We ended up with 53 STRAWBERRIES ON THE DAY OF THE EGG FESTIVAL. 5,300 in Gold. The next day the Califlowers were ready from Day 2 because I missed planting them on Day 1 like a fuck, and ended up having spare cash regardless.

After Strawberries are planted, it's water and sleep.

Hit ~8,000 gold and it's time to buy that Pomegranate tree and get it planted early so it's guaranteed to grow and if there's problems I have enough time to ensure that nothing gets in its way.

Water and sleep until the end of spring, harvest and ship.

SUMMER OF YEAR 1 -  WE in it. Bought 45 Blueberries. Water and sleep. Water and sleep.

And then I got tired in real life and distracted by real life things and sleep in real life, and reset the timer.

By now, ALL OF THIS took 2 hours or so before I hit the reset on the livesplitter. Ew.

BUT - once the Blueberries start harvesting, we're watering, harvesting, sleeping, and shipping.

Summer is spent being a blueberry and then FALL WILL HAPPEN.

-x-

I hadn't actually played out Fall yet, but I assume it's going to be the loop of this -- COULD ALSO ROUTE IN COFFEE  AT THE END OF SUMMER BECAUSE WE HAVE EXTRA MONEY, BUT IT DEPENDS ON IF ITS GOOD - WE HAVE ABOUT EXTRA 12,000 IF THINGS WENT RIGHT:

UPGRADE HOUSE PURCHASE WOOD INSTEAD OF CHOPPING???

SAVE FOR PENDENT

SPEND EXCESS ON COFFEE

OTHERWISE THE GAMEPLAY LOOP IS:

WAKE UP COLLECT POMS CUT WOOD UNTIL ELLIOT WAKES UP WALK TO THE FUCKING BEACH GIVE ELLIOT HIS STUPID FUCKING POM WALK BACK TO THE BEACH Repeat twice a week Sleep all the other days of the week

Collect Poms all Fall. Pray. Take Fruit Cave as a back up and pray for RNG. Check the Cart for random chance of other things he likes. PRAY.

PRAY THAT WE DON'T END UP TAKING IT INTO FALL 2.

But here's the thing??? There's no way to get another Pom tree planted and grown in the first year without sacrificing Blueberry game or other gains. Fishing only does so much.

So FALL is Poms, gifting, running around. Winter is continued gifting, sleeping. Spring is continued gifting, sleeping. Pray that we've made enough progress to buy pendent in Spring 2. If not, gift and sleep. Gift and sleep. Also protect Pom tree in case of stupidity. Possibly plant a second one as a back-up, if things haven't progressed far enough by Summer 2.

MY ESTIMATE: SUMMER 2, the second or third time it fucking rains

Meaning: We ended up putting in another 4 hour run or so, and it took about the same amount of effort doing shit.

HOWEVER, I missed some days, and had sub-optimal movement. Cutting wood is not as fast as just buying it. We'll get it done. I'm gonna finish this save file at least and then develop further from there.

I have confidence that I can get this overall run down to 3 hours with optimal movement and solid strategy.

WHAT I NEED TO FIND OUT:

> Does the chance of Cauliflowers in the Mixed Seeds outweigh the time loss? Probably not worth the time loss.

> How much fishing? Am I doing too much or not enough? Probably fishing enough, it just takes forever. Every day until energy is low, until Strawberry Time. 

> Do I really need 45 Blueberries for Summer? Probably. That extra 12, 000 might become something else, either back-up gifts or coffee, but it would depend on how the run is going.

> Elliot's Schedule in Fall primarily, Winter, and then Spring to hopefully finish it up since it doesn't happen in Year 1

> Flower Dance might matter if we're behind on Affection Values on the deadline.

> Is the Fishing Farm the way to go? Yes, because you have the water nearby for watering without a fucking walk, and you have the water nearby for fishing because that's our seed income in the first fucking month of crazy bullshit.

> WHEN IS ELLIOT'S FUCKING BIRTHDAY HOLY FUCK DON'T FUCKING MISS IT YOU FICKIT (It's Fall 5th, by the way)

-x-

So it still fucking takes 5+ hours to do this Glitchless. Fuck.

FALL 1 was successful. Having a Gifting schedule of Fridays and Sundays allowed for me to check the cart and accidentally end up gifting him on his birthday because I forgot what fucking day it was again.

FALL 1 -- went perfectly. Took my wood that I cut down throughout the playthrough, went to Robin’s. 457, into 7. Bought 300. 307. Made my way to the beach, fixed bridge. Now 7 wood because I am a fuck up. Gifted Elliot his first Pom, went to Saloon at 12. Bought 27 Coffee. Drank Coffee and ran home. Day went perfect.

THINGS I’VE DISCOVERED: 

Outright buying wood is probably faster, but not cutting wood means a lot of standing around for nothing.

Routing in Coffee was easy, but is it worth taking the extra time to do it?

Running back and forth to the beach is almost as bad as waiting for the fucker to come out.

We got to 3 hearts pretty soon, and it meant we could go to his house at 10 AM. STILL TAKES A WHILE FOR HIM TO OPEN UP THOUGH WHEN YOU’RE WAITING ON HIM.

One Pom tree produces enough gifts in one month that we don’t need any back-up gifts. Going to the Cart just means an extra load screen/shop pause and it usually doesn’t have it, but the very first time we checked it we actually got a Tom Kha Soup, which is another one of Elliot’s Favorites. Ended up never giving it to him anyways.

So, Cart doesn’t matter. Fruit Cave doesn’t seem to matter either, but it’s good for an early fruit if we need it, but we usually won’t. It is additional income instead of fishing, at least there’s that.

Need to figure out how to Death Warp for speed sake. Killing myself with Energy might do it, but the Mobile version has limitations. Sooo, fishing myself to death probably?? If we can Warp, we don’t need to route in Coffee. Subsitute Fishing for Hoeing or Axing instead on PC.

WINTER 1 was Gifting, running back and forth, sleeping. Went exactly as planned, but it was not fast because of waiting on him til 10 and still having to walk back. The walk to the Beach doesn’t matter because you still have to wait on him to open the door, but getting home faster is where the major time losses are.

WHAT IS THE FASTEST ROUTE HOME? DOES IT REALLY NOT MATTER? IS THE DEATH WARP ACTUALLY FASTER THAN WALKING BACK? Probably, even if you’re waiting on animations.

SPRING 2 -- Accidentally lost a Heart due to me reverting a save because I wasted time, but we had 8 hearts and gave him the Bouquet by this point. Just more gifting and running, but we’ll probably need to route in Deaths because of money from revival. Will have him by Flower Festival most likely, but probably not before first rain. Might have him before the beginning of Summer 2.

-x-

Married by Spring 19, pendent bought on second day it rained. Warping seems faster and is a good use of time/energy while waiting on Elliot, but the actual warping might be faster on PC because the tool limitations on the Beach don’t matter in PC version. Fishing pole is good enough on mobile, but doesn’t finish you off and you have to switch to Hoe, which has its own problems.

But, all in all, run finished in roughly 5 and a half hours, which is faster than my first timed attempt at 6:27.11 using the Lobster method. 

RESULTS: Poms are faster and no RNG involved. Hard money grind to buy tree before Fall 1. Fall is when the romance happens. Spring 2 is the wrap-up. PROBABLY NOT GONNA EVER GET A SUB 5 HOURS.

There’s an absolute reason why nobody does this run AND I HAVE TASTED IT AND NOW I ACCEPT THE TRUE CHALLENGE OF GRINDING THIS OUT AND POSTING A TIME EVENTUALLY.

This run is a fucking meme.