#mooncahser

[ghostofafruit]

you know your idea is stupidly funny when you feel the need to preface with you're not drunk. That being said, I am not drunk. I've just been watching a lot of mattshorehere and had the best crack fic idea. Let's call this a moonchaser week fic for Alt 1: Muggle AU, and it's a tumblr exclusive. It's also crack, it's pure crack, I'm not convinced I haven't somehow gotten drunk on water it's that ridiculous. If you haven't seen the video I'm referencing and that inspired this, here it is

mentions of nudes, again major crackfic, @ghostsfanficevents

Remus had a habit of making terrible jokes. Jokes so awful they circled back to funny and then back to bad. Subpar at best James would say. They still always pull a chuckle from him, and he refuses to leave Remus on seen when they're texting and he sends a dumb joke.

Autocorrect was a massive bitch.

James had only meant to send haha. That was it. It was a barely passable joke, a true Remus Lupin special. It wasn't really worthy of anything more than that. A HAHA would be too much, a hahaha even worse. He stared at his phone-screen in horror. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Eight, all caps, ha's.

He could picture Remus grinning at his screen, thinking his jokes had finally been good. It was a lameass joke, and now he was probably going to reuse it. He rushed to correct it. He could have sworn he'd typed out 'sorry didn't mean that' instead what sent was 'dude please hold me'. James continued looking at his phone in horror.

Remus had read it almost instantly, like he was staring at the messages waiting for James to say something. He hurried to correct it, some form of apology or excuse, but instead a row of roses sent. James decided to switch off his phone before things got worse.

Autocorrect was very much still a massive bitch. Several weeks had past since the incident as James had taken to calling it and they hadn't talked about it. It was for the best, James wasn't sure how he could explain his way out of that one.

A message from Remus popped up and James grinned to himself. The joke itself was utterly idiotic, it was more Remus himself that prompted the reaction in James. He rolled his eyes at the attempted joke and typed out a haha.

Except it did the thing again. Where James had written haha, and pressed send on haha, it send instead HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Once again eight all caps ha's. He rushed to fix the mistaked.

'I did not meant that' he sent. Instead 'Bro, please hug me' appeared in their chat. James tried to correct again, but a row of bouquet emojis replaced it.

"Fuck," James mumbled to himself. He opened his images, he had a lot of stupid things saved maybe something would work. He spotted the perfect one and selected it. He double checked that he'd only selected that and pressed send.

James watched the image load in their chat. Once it finished loading James cursed again. That was not the stupid meme befitting the situation. That was a hehhum, tastefully nude, photo of himself. A silk blanket draped across his lap, leaving very little to the imagination, but just enough to intrigue. He'd only taken it to boost his self confidence.

He went to delete it but Remus had already seen it. He'd seen it the second it had sent, he'd been lurking in their chat again.

"Fuck me," James said aloud. Instead of leaving autocorrect to it, he tried to call Remus. He did not answer. He switched to instagram instead and shot of a dm apologising for the weird situation. James didn't wait for a reply instead he tossed his phone to the side and got up to head to his art studio, he needed a distraction.

Autocorrect was a certified complete and utter bitchfuck. James wasn't even sure what that meant, but he liked it. It felt fitting. It had been another few weeks and Remus had accepted James' story and they'd laughed about it. Past that they hadn't talked about it, and James had never actually unsent the photo, Remus hadn't seemed too bothered anyway.

The familiar ping of a message rang out from his, and James grinned. He'd set a specific tone for Remus. He wiped his hand off on the rag next to him and grabbed his phone. It was yet another stupid joke. He snorted slightly and shook his head. Only Remus would find that funny, but it was it's own sort of charm James supposed.

'haha' he typed out. He noticed immediately that it had changed as soon as he'd hit send. Something was seriously up with his phone, his bet was Peter or Marlene both of them were creepily tech savey. If anyone could make him flirt with Remus through autocorrect it was them. In place of his two all lowercase ha's were once more eight all caps ha's. He sighed and typed out an excuse he knew wouldn't send.

'Mate please hold me' appeared in the chat. James sighed again. Maybe a meme would work this time. James scrolled past the photos he'd taken recently, careful not to click them, and found the same one he'd tried to send before. He clicked it, double checked it was the only thing selected, and then triple checked. For safe measure he took a screenshot of it selected and then sent it over.

James held his breath as it loaded. He waited for it to show the meme, but instead one of the new photos he'd taken appeared.

"FUCK!" James shouted. This one was even worse than the nude he'd sent before. The previous one had been artistic, taken on his camera, edited to look perfect. This one had been a similarly artistic photo, sure. He could just about claim that. The same silk blanket was draped in his, but instead on taken on the floor with a brilliant pose picked to show off his abs, it had been a mirror selfie. Even less was left to the imagination, the silk was more scrunched up and slightly higher too. It was damn good one of his hands was in his lap or he was something something would actually be exposed. The other hand had been held loosely around his phone, angling it perfectly so his slight smirk could be seen in the mirror.

James stared in horror as Remus saw it instantly. He watched as Remus went to type, then stopped, then started again.

"Shit," James said. He typed as much. He hit send without considering the current problem he was having with texting Remus.

'Mate I'm lonely' it read. James cursed again. He considered trying to fix it, but he wasn't sure how. Instead he threw his phone across the room and screamed into his desk.

Autocorrect was a brillaint wingman James reflected. He wrote as much in the vows he was drafting out. Without the weird situation his phone had started he wasn't sure he'd have ever gotten the courage to even face his feelings for Remus yet along act on them. Remus rather felt the same.

He wasn't sure exactly why his phone had started doing that and specifically with Remus, Marlene and Peter were pretty convinced it was entirely impossible until they'd both witnessed it actually happen in real time. Still, he thanked it for happening, even if it was embarrassing.

Who knew a bit of unfunctionally autocorrect would lead to James marrying his best mate?