#mood status trs

[spam-theresilientsystem]

[angelsandemons]

I want to talk a little bit about the idea of Adam as someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD, because I've been thinking about it a lot.

I won't go into too much detail of the "is he actually NPD-coded and why might be like that?" question because that's already been pretty well explored in Georgia's Hazbin Hotel Therapist Analysis: Adam the Narcissist! video.

But if you're not in the mood to watch that, here are the nine clinical features mentioned in the DSM-5-TR diagnostic criteria for NPD, only five of which actually have to be present with an onset in early adulthood for the diagnosis:

Having a grandiose sense of self-importance, such as exaggerating achievements and talents, expecting to be recognized as superior even without commensurate achievements

Preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, beauty, and idealization

Belief in being "special" and that they can only be understood by or associated with other high-status people (or institutions)

Demanding excessive admiration

Sense of entitlement

Exploitation behaviors

Lack of empathy

Envy towards others or belief that others are envious of them

Arrogant, haughty behaviors and attitudes 

Goergia's video talks about how NPD is ultimately a trauma response, if an extremely maladaptive one, and feelings of abandonment can be a possible contributor to development of this disorder. And considering the situation with Lilith and Eve...yeah, that tracks.

So I think the next question is: how does that factor in to Adam's potential redemption arc, whether that exists in the canon show or just in fanfic/roleplay? The things that worked for Sir Pentious absolutely are not going to work for Adam because the root issues are completely different.

I think for Adam, the trick is not going to be trying to get him to feel remorseful for his actions but to try and get him to feel like improving his behavior would be a benefit to him personally. This isn't to say that he can't feel remorse mind you; I'm just saying that making that the goal, the focus....you're more prone to setting up that effort for failure when dealing with someone that has NPD.

And the process of making sustainable changes to maladaptive behaviors can often require the person to unpack parts of themselves that aren't nice or pretty, and I think that will definitely be the case with Adam. Because you can't really create an action plan if you don't have all the pieces laid out in front of you; you can't monitor yourself for triggers or harmful behaviors if you don't know more about how you tick.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Hands And Teeth

Summary: No one has ever managed to punch Icy before. Icy is intrigued by Lysa's sheer audacity.

Not smut but still steamy.

For those who don't know who Lysa is, she's this witch (I love me a good background character);

Icy touches the corner of her mouth. Her fingers come away with blood. She stares at it for a moment, it is a good visual to accompany the sting and throb. The corner of her mouth, the very same one that bleeds, curves into a smirk. 

She can’t explain it but she throws her head back and laughs. 

She cackles. 

No one has ever punched her before. Nobody who had managed to land a hit anyhow. She supposes that it was bound to happen eventually, she has a very punchable personality if she did say so. 

It is exhilarating, really. 

The witch who’d done it stares at her, mouth agape. No doubt Lysa thinks that she is the one who should be cackling. 

By all means she should be.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Lysa spits. 

And Icy has no answer for her. She didn’t have one for the last person either. She has an itch for pain be it her own or someone else’s and Lysa–the hot-headed, impulsive, furious woman she is—is perfect for scratching that itch. 

She leans in closer and cups Lysa’s chin in her hand. “I’d say that whatever it is, it’s the same thing that’s wrong with you.” She brings her lips just shy of the other witch’s ear. Just close enough for her to feel cool breaths upon it. Lysa shudders and Icy trails her pointer across the witch’s cheek. Lysa inhales sharply and Icy draws back. 

Lysa grabs her by the collar. The pale blue cloth of her shirt is bunched tight in her fist. “You can’t just do that!”

“Do what?” Icy quirks a brow. But she already knows. She’d like to hear it out loud though. 

“Leave me hanging like that.” 

Icy shrugs. She does it all the time. She has made her rounds in Cloud Tower’s halls, has given herself a pretty solid reputation. Several reputations of several varieties. The sort of reputations that most people seek to avoid. 

She hooks her finger around Lysa’s belt loop and pulls the witch closer. “Well we wouldn’t want that, now would we?” Her nose brushes against Lysa’s. She can smell leather and hairspray. The hairspray, she could smell from down the block. She imagines that it had probably taken a whole can of it and a half a gallon of hair gel to lock those liberty spikes in place. Icy has never been particularly into the punk scene; could never stand the loud, speedy drum beats nor those tone def vocals and chaotic rhythms of the music. Was always annoyed by the abrasive personalities and impulsive shenanigans. 

The punk cliques at Cloud Tower have always been sloppy and disorderly. They leave beer cans scattered around the campus yard and cigarette smoke and litter in the hallways. She’d had to drag Stormy out of that corner of Cloud Tower kicking and screaming. 

Of course the punks are boundlessly better than the emo kids with their whining and the scene kids with their eye burning colors. Icy would certainly take a punk over a perky little pastel goth any day. 

Icy supposes that she is in the mood to rattle the status quo some. She lets her lips brush upon Lysa’s. Tastes the cigarettes on her breath. 

Lysa, wholly unappreciative of a slow and tantalizing build up, licks the blood from the corner of Icy’s mouth and bites down on her lower lip. Icy rolls her eyes. But of course, the punks are brash and quick. She shouldn’t have expected any different. The other witch’s lip ring bites into her own lip but with much less of a sting than Lysa’s teeth do. 

She deepens the kiss suckling at the blood as Icy curls her fingers into the woman’s hair. The texture is stiff and makes Icy wonder if the witch had used glue instead of hair gel. The thought makes her cringe; if anyone got near her silky locks with a bottle of glue there would be hell to pay. 

Satisfied, Lysa throws her head back and takes a deep breath, at once she practically shoves Icy away.

“Is that any way to treat a senior witch?” Icy mutters, folding her arms across her chest. 

“I’ll treat anyone any which way I damn well please.” Lysa scoffs, breathlessly. The chains on her chunky studded bracelet clink. 

Icy shrugs. “Don’t get the wrong idea.” She leans in again and presses her lips to Lysa’s neck. She feels the witch’s hands on her waist. “You only get as far as I let you get.” She guides those hands down to her hips. “Luckily for you, I’d like to put on a little show, give Cloud Tower something to talk about for a while.” 

Lysa sniffs. “Attention whore.” 

“Among other things, yes.” She agrees. “I’ll help you get your fifteen minutes, you can borrow them from me.”

“I’m going to punch you in the face again.” Lysa grumbles. 

“I thought that we were past foreplay.” 

Lysa gives her a good swat. “You’re the worst.” 

“Which is exactly why you shoved your tongue down my throat.” 

“Perhaps it is.” The witch slips her hand under Icy’s shirt. 

Icy lets her graze her breast, those long nails leaving a searing red scratch on her sensitive skin. She tsks and takes hold of Lysa’s wrist. “I don’t think so.” She clicks her tongue. “I require a bit of pampering first. Court me.” 

“Punching you in the face was part of my mating ritual.”

“A good start, but…” she gives another shrug. “I’m not impressed.”

Lysa stuffs her hands into her pockets and props herself up against the brick wall. “Bullshit!” She fishes a lighter out of her pocket. “You were having a great time.” More to herself she mutters, “way too happy about it.” 

Icy smirks. “Perhaps I’ll let you do it again some time.” She can picture the woman’s hands wrapped around her neck. Can imagine red marks left by them. She can visualize cuts and bruises; a tongue to lap at the blood and lips to kiss the bruises. “I’ll probably let you do it again some time.” Probably after midterms. She’d actually like to graduate with her master’s degree. She can’t imagine that Darcy and Stormy would take well to her interrupting their studies either.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lysa asks. 

Icy shrugs once more. “You’ve piqued my interest, Lysa. Bloom is intriguing…” and to think of how much gossip that would inspire is tantalizing. “But you…” she hums. “Punks aren’t usually my taste but they sure are funner than fairies. And trad goths can be so dull sometimes.” 

Lysa rolls her eyes. “You’re aggravatingly pretious and you take these subcultures so seriously, it looks stupid.” 

Icy chuckles. Oh yes, she will almost definitely let this one get closer.

[lafcadiosadventures]

Madame Putiphar Readalong. Book Two, Chapter XXVII

Aka aristocrats and people in power hate it when someone they consider inferior doesn’t bow down to them, not even after being threatened with violence and tempted by pleasure and wealth.

tagging coreaders @counterwiddershins and @sainteverge

Sword and Letter. Printer's ornament by Illustrator Kenny Meadows and Engraver John Orrin Smith

Patrick bows to Putiphar, a theatrical gesture of mock protocol.

Her rage makes her tremble so badly she cannot write. She is hurt in many fronts. since her sex appeal and her social status are intimately linked, rejecting her advances (which are, imposed, from her, a high status highly influential person in court, to persons of lower social status) is rejecting the power of the king/the monarchic social order. Patrick was locked, coerced, tempted by her objectively beautiful -if occasionally characterized as grotesque- body. He was trapped alone with a beautiful woman, and he chose to reject her. This infuriates her, used as she is to getting her way with anyone because of her social status, because of her protection or fear of her retribution. Rejecting her body is a slap in the face to the arbitrary power of the monarchy.

Rendered incapable of writing, since she is furious she couldn’t have this man by way of her beauty or coercion, she summons actual historical person Nicole du Hausset (“the intermediary between the influential Madame de Pompadour and her many supplicants.” per wikipedia) to take dictation.

In the first letter she gives Villepastour the greenlight to arrest Patrick, as soon and as ignominiously as possible.

The next letter is flirtatiously (she wields power through her sexuality as we have seen)(this is part of her literary construction both as a gothic monster and as an arriviste who has climbed high thanks to knowing how to cleverly use her sex appeal, brains and charisma) addressed to Saint-Florentin de la Vrillière.

This letter is pretty brilliant in communicating what i understand Borel wants to communicate . She addresses the man and his political status erotizing both. “I need you, and by that i mean, i need the help of your adored ministry”, she says. She asks for two lettres de cachet. (letters carrying royal orders, post xviii century, of arrest, execution or banishment/deportation. These were issued secretly, sans any legal process, etc)(here you can see one signed by Louis XV himself, and it’s interesting to see the contrast of his rococo, tarabiscoted callygraphy and its contents) One of these is meant to revoke the pardon issued for Patrick and a second one ordering his arrest. It is mandatory for the minister (his bon petit saint) to come and see her, to agree on the terms of Patrick’s arrest.

Once she signs, (and with this we are back to the realm of the gothic) she feels a heightened physical relief. But her satisfaction is ferocious, she gets into bed in a massacring mood, where she didn’t savour a rest she wasn’t looking for. Her breast aflame, (like madame Vauquer’s, née de Conflans thinking of the prospect of marrying money, however, unlike Vauquer’s, Putiphar’s fire is not of joyful greedlust but purely destructive) And we get a nice paragraph i’m just gonna copy paste here:

When spiteful, one enjoys amplifying one’s own suffering, one indulges the pain one causes to oneself, one derives happiness from chomping at the bit; one wants to chew on it for a long time; one desires sleeplessness; one's thoughts simmer easily and this simmering is a rapid flow of ideas upon which one lets oneself go, as a sailless and oarless boat. 

(tr. @sainteverge)

This is interesting because it seems to reflect, not a psychological trait that is specific to Pompadour, but one the narrator considers universal, and in fact mirrors Patrick’s own wallowing in a sea of sorrow, reading sad books (illustrated by Blake) when feeling sad a couple of chapters ago. (this is in keeping with her both being characterized a gothic monster but also as a human, making that masochism something the narrator can understand. She has these very human traits, her gothic monster quality is not innate, but linked to her social status. This is also fitting with Borel’s construction of the Dark Fate as the power wielded by petty aristocrats sick with ennui, and a misguided idea of their own innate superiority. The line about being a sailess oarless boat is beautiful, this book has these very enjoyable poetic turns)

And then we get a spanish saying, paraphrased by the hispanophile  narrator as: “quien cuenta sin huésped, cuenta dos” -> apparently the original version cited in Cam’s translation: “quien hace la cuenta sin el huésped, la hace dos veces" and the drae merely cites “no contar con la huéspeda” meaning in a basic level, receiving an unexpected guest entails an unexpected inconvenient (and figuratively, having a transaction thwarted because of shortsightedness in predicting inconvenients). So, as the narrator has told us, Pompadour expected to spend that afternoon in her revelries/coercing Patrick into sex, but instead she got spurned, therefore she’s unexpectedly mad, etc etc. (Borel's hispanophilia is rooted in an actual knowledge of Spanish sources, beyond classics often cited by french romantics like the eternaly innovative Don Quijote de la Mancha. Borel cites opera songs, like El contrabandista, popular songs like La estudiantina, -which I couldn't find anywhere beyond Passereau- curse words, common sayings... and his references have diverse textual functions beyond the most usual one in other romantic's works such as characterization and local colour. In Passereau Borel is saying something about how the student looks instills mistrust in policemen and polite society, (and we know via Gautier that Borel was usually and nosensically exoticized by fellow french romantics as ""looking hispanic"") but he will also include spanish beacuse he loves it and he relishes in the language.

[runningmunson]

Start Anew

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Female!Reader Word Count: 1.1k Summary: After one of the many times Aemond puts you down, you get fed up of his fake apologies and let him know how you feel. Warnings: Swearing, insecure Aemond about being a disappointment, angst to fluff

A/N: Wanted to jump on the bandwagon and stray from my typical Stranger Things fics and take a crack at hotd.

The door to the hall slammed against the wall as you forcibly pushed your way through. The skirt of your dress billowed behind you, and hot tears streamed down your face as you made your way to your chambers. He had done it yet again, never showing any shame nor a shred of decency to not do it in front of his family. 

The room was silent; all eyes fell on the man who caused you to abruptly storm out during supper. The Queen looked toward her son, “Aemond! Must you constantly torture the poor girl?”

“How I treat my wife is of none of your concern, Mother,” Aemond replied flatly. He grabbed his cup to take a drink to attempt to avoid her harsh gaze. He wasn’t in the mood for another lecture he was sure about to receive. 

“Pardon me? None of my concern? I am your mother, and I did not raise you to treat a lady with such contempt and certainly not your wife. She did not ask for any of this. If you are discontent with your marital arrangement, then take that out on your father and me, but leave her be. Now go and apologize,” Alicent had enough of her son’s behavior. You came from a well-respected and noble house; it was humiliating that her own flesh and blood would treat you that way in front of others. If he wanted to act like a child, then he would be scolded like a child. 

Aemond scoffed, his lips turned up into a smirk, “Is that a suggestion or an order?”

“It is an order.” 

“Yes, mother,” he excused himself from the table and sulked toward your shared room. Shared is a funny word because he did not spend much time there. He could hear his mother tell his father how much of a disappointment and embarrassment he was to the family. It was something he had become quite used to hearing his whole life. 

———

You stood by one of the windows in your room, enjoying the warm breeze and the setting sun, turning the sky hues of orange and pink over Blackwater Bay. It wasn’t your home, but you were quickly learning to love waking up to the beautiful view and perfect weather. However, it was difficult to truly make Kings Landing your new home when your husband made it very clear that you don’t belong.

The sound of the door opening and closing drew you out of your thoughts. You didn’t need to turn around to know who it was; anyone else would have knocked before entering. He cleared his throat. 

“I have come to apologize for my behavior. It was unbecoming of me as your husband,” Aemond said, arms folded behind his back. You looked over your shoulder but noticed he didn’t even bother to look at you. 

“Save your breath, Aemond. I do not wish to hear another one of your insincere apologies that your mother forces you to make, so let us please move on. Once you walk out of this room, I will go back to being your dutiful and obedient wife while you do whatever you wish and continue to make a mockery of me in front of everyone,” you had every intention of accepting his false apology like you usually did, but for some reason, you couldn’t bite your tongue this time. You could tell your response came as a shock to him from his raised eyebrow and wide eye. 

“I-I did not know you felt that way, and I do not mean to make a mockery of you. That is not my intention,” he stuttered, his confidence faltering. He was not used to you speaking your mind. However, a bit of pride toward your newfound bluntness stirred in the pit of his stomach.

“What exactly is it then? You insult me every chance you get. I always knew I would never get to marry for love because of my status, but Gods, I never thought I would be made to feel trapped, like a prisoner from my own husband nonetheless. I still try to be a good wife, though. Despite your ever-growing hatred towards me, a small part of me hopes you might change, to learn to love me one day as I have you, but I am sorely disappointed every time,” you said as your chest heaved at the spilled confession you've kept locked deep inside your heart. It was hard to be hurt by the man you call your husband.

There’s that word again, disappointed. Aemond took a deep breath to calm his anger, not toward you but toward himself. “Have you ever thought that I am purposely making it difficult for you to love me? You said it yourself, I disappoint you. And it is not just you. It is my parents, my brother, my sister, the Targaryen name. Hell, even the whole damn entirety of the seven kingdoms. I am a disappointment and embarrassment to everyone I love and care about, even to people who I do not even know. I never wanted to marry or love someone just so they could be added to that long list.” 

“I do not understand you. Instead of proving them wrong, you choose to feed into it by treating me this way?” You questioned him.

“Well, I guess when you put it that way, it does sound a bit asinine,” he turned away, ashamed of himself.

“Have I done something to you to make you believe that I think like everyone else in this forsaken place? Because if I have, then I am truly sorry,” you said in a gentle voice. He had a sick way of thinking, and while it didn’t excuse his behavior, you tried to understand where he was coming from. 

Aemond shook his head, “No, no you have not. You have been nothing but perfect while I have been a complete fool. I am the one who is sorry; and so ashamed at my unfair treatment towards you.”

You walked over to him and placed a hand on his face. Your thumb traced the scar on his cheek that ran below the patch covering his missing eye. He raised his hand to envelope yours and further nuzzled his head, not used to a gentle and soft touch. “You may be a fool, Aemond, but you are my fool.” 

“You’re wrong, you know? I do not hate you, and whoever said I did not love you either?” He broke the silence. His hand moved from yours and placed it on the back of your neck; his other arm pulled you flush against him as he placed his lips on yours. When you finally pulled away, he leaned his forehead down to look at you.

“I vow to be a better man and husband. May we start anew?” He questioned, full of hope. 

You smiled, “I would like that very much.”

[simplyclockwork]

I love what you did with Sherlock stuck in the window frame. Sherlock trying to be arch and aloof still but a bit defeated and John caring and meeting Sherlock’s needs. I’d love to have a fic that is John shaving Sherlock (out of some sort of medical necessity) but it leads to intimacy or the promise of intimacy in the future. I know John shaving Sherlock has been done before, but I’m sure your take on it would add hugely to the greater good!

Hey anon! Thanks so much for your patience. I've finally filled this prompt. You can read it below the page break or on Ao3 here!

Please feel free to send future prompts anytime as long as you don't mind waiting a while for the fill.

Thank you :)

---

“Stop fidgeting,” John snapped as Sherlock wriggled for the umpteenth time under his ministrations.

Sherlock stopped with a huff. “I need to check on my experiment,” he protested, though he remained perfectly still. “You’re taking too long, John. You shave like a man who has never handled a blade before.”

“I may have handled a gun far more than a blade, but that doesn’t mean I won’t accidentally lop off your ear if you don’t sit bloody well still!” John gripped Sherlock’s shoulder and pressed him more firmly into the kitchen chair. “Lord above, are there snakes in your pants?”

“Hurry up, John!” Sherlock snarled, squirming once more.

John, trying valiantly to keep Sherlock from slitting his own throat on the razor pressed against the vulnerable expanse of his skin, jerked the blade back. “Christ, Sherlock, stop moving! The sooner you shut up and sit still, the sooner this will be over with.” He shot a baleful glare at the cluttered surface of their kitchen table. “What kind of experiment are you doing with one working hand — non-dominant, might I add — anyway?”

“One surely beyond your simple mind,” Sherlock replied peevishly, making John roll his eyes.

“You and your miserable mood can both sod off,” John grumbled, biting back harsher words and making a concerted effort to soften his reprimand.

Sherlock had been absolutely horrid ever since he’d broken nearly every bone in his dominant hand in a brawl with a murder suspect. The man had slammed his foot down on Sherlock’s hand when Sherlock slipped on the rain-wet street during their tussle. Recovery had been a slow and painful process as the splinted hand turned alarming shades of black and blue while the bones and tendons healed. John couldn’t honestly blame Sherlock for his mood, but that didn’t make him easier to deal with. He struggled with even the most basic tasks, leaving John to support him in mundane functions. It had begun to wear on them both — Sherlock far more than John as he took repeated blows to his independence — bringing out Sherlock’s nastier side.

Which brought them to that morning, to John’s day off from the surgery. He'd been woken just shy of six am by a petulant Sherlock, who had insisted that his stubble had grown far too coarse to abide any longer. He’d stood — loomed, more like — over John as John blinked the sleep from his eyes and watched Sherlock scratch agitatedly at his stubbly jaw, chin and cheeks. Now, here they were, with John making a valiant effort to shave Sherlock’s face while Sherlock squirmed with the force of five hundred angry snakes.

“Do I really have to do this with a straight razor?” John asked for the fifth time, already knowing Sherlock’s answer before it was bit out through bared teeth.

“Disposable razors are a farce,” Sherlock said, muscles flexing under his damp skin as his jaw clenched. “I require a closer shave, which is only possible with a straight razor.”

“Yeah, yeah,” John sighed, just as he had the four times before. “I know. Well, if you want me to do this, then you need to bloody well sit fucking still so I don’t cut your throat. Not even you would enjoy that murder.”

Sherlock muttered something that John missed.

“What?”

“I said, it would be manslaughter, not murder,” Sherlock snapped. “It’s only murder when it is premeditated.”

John pinched the bridge of his nose between thumb and index finger, struggling not to lose the tenuous hold he still retained on his temper. “Who says it wouldn’t be premeditated?” John prayed for patience and opened his eyes again. “Stop clenching your teeth,” he ordered, smoothing his fingertips over Sherlock’s tense jaw. Sherlock sucked in a sharp breath and tensed more, making John sigh. “You’re impossible.”

“Just shave my face, John,” Sherlock muttered, some of the aggression mysteriously gone from his voice as he closed his eyes.

John shrugged and smoothed more shaving cream where his first application had dried. Sliding his fingers into Sherlock’s curls, John gently tilted his head back over the table and bent to set the razor against Sherlock’s skin. As he did, the sharp edge brushing Sherlock’s neck, Sherlock swallowed, making his throat bob beneath the blade. John paused warily, eyes fixed on the subtle motion. It seemed deeply vulnerable to him, inspiring an unexpected surge of protectiveness that caught him off guard.

He was still reeling with it when Sherlock cracked open one eye and squinted at him. “Something wrong?”

Did John imagine it, or did Sherlock’s voice sound strained? He studied the familiar face, searching for clues. But Sherlock had closed both eyes again, his expression perfectly blank.

“I haven’t got all day, John,” he reminded him sharply, though his voice lacked its earlier bite.

“Right,” John said, clearing his throat. He shook his head, banishing the strange feelings. “Of course. Wouldn’t want to keep you from your incredibly important tinkering.”

“Experiment, John,” Sherlock corrected him, the corner of his mouth twitching upward despite his admonishment.

“Mhm.” John refocused, his feelings of confusion somewhat settled by the familiar cant of their banter. He hesitated over Sherlock’s throat and decided to start somewhere else. Setting the blade at the top of Sherlock’s cheek, John carefully drew the razor’s edge through the shaving cream. It was much fancier than his own brand, which came in a can and looked more like whipping cream than shaving material. Predictably, Sherlock’s came from a bar, complete with a rounded brush to spread the lather. It smelled like pine and explained some of what John had come to think of as Sherlock’s natural scent.

Reigning in his wandering thoughts, his brow furrowed, John wiped the blade clean and set it back to Sherlock’s skin. He cleared a strip next to the first, pausing only when his left hand gave a slight twitch. John cursed his intermittent tremour silently, retracing the same area to erase the few spots he’d missed. A stubborn fleck of dried lather remained in his path, and John reached out to smooth it away with his thumb. Sherlock’s cheek twitched at the touch. John paused, thumb resting on Sherlock’s skin, when he saw that Sherlock’s eyes were open. Half-open, to be exact, with dark silver peeking out beneath his long, lowered lashes.

Something about that gaze froze John in place, the moment stretching out until he broke free with a quiet, awkward cough. Ducking his head to clean the blade again, John bought himself time, fussing with the flannel until he looked up again and saw that Sherlock’s eyes were closed once more. A relieved sigh escaped him before he could bite it back, and John was glad to see Sherlock didn’t react or comment on the sound.

He returned to his task with far more care, gritting his teeth at even the idea of his hand twitching. The rest of the foam disappeared gradually beneath John’s determined hand, revealing more and more of Sherlock’s damp, freshly-shaven face. Sherlock sat mostly still throughout, finally settled, his expression oddly peaceful. If not for the occasional shifting of his legs — crossing and uncrossing at the thigh whenever John paused to wipe the blade clean — he might have been a statue.

“Aright,” John finally said once Sherlock’s face was clear. “Just your throat left. Make sure not to move.”

“I’m not a toddler,” Sherlock grumbled, frowning at John’s incredulous laugh. He didn’t bother to reply, and John hoped that meant he would do as bid.

Taking a deep, calming breath, John braced a hand on the chair back, trying to find the right angle. It was awkward, and he reconsidered. After a moment of hesitation, he shook off his anxiety and cupped Sherlock’s jaw at the hinge. Sherlock’s eyes flew open at the contact, clearly startled, his lips parting around a small gasp. To John’s immense relief, he held still otherwise.

John chose to ignore the odd reaction, gently tilting Sherlock’s head back and to the side as he maneuvered the blade up the side of Sherlock’s throat. John did so with great care, tongue caught between his teeth, scared of slipping. All the while, he could feel Sherlock’s gaze on him, a burning point of scrutiny that John struggled not to squirm beneath. Instead, he wiped the blade and tilted Sherlock’s head again, repeating the movement.

Sherlock was silent as the grave throughout. The only sounds in the kitchen were his loud breathing and the slick, rasping scrape of the blade as it scored stubble from skin. The moment held a strange intimacy, like the two of them existed in a bubble, removed from the world with only each other for contact.

John was starting to think he might be going mad before he slid his hand to the nape of Sherlock’s neck and cupped the base of his skull to tilt his head back. As he did so, Sherlock’s eyes fluttered shut, and his throat jumped with an audible swallow. Startled, John’s grip tightened momentarily in the damp curls caught beneath his fingers, and Sherlock jolted with a quiet groan. The reaction was so visceral that John froze, staring down at Sherlock’s upturned face. His eyes were tightly shut, face screwed up in a grimace that looked strangely close to horrified.

“Sherlock?” John asked quietly, confused. Sherlock didn’t answer, just remained stiff and still. Under his hand, John thought he could feel a slight, constant tremour rippling through Sherlock. Brow furrowed, he studied Sherlock’s tightly wound body, gaze pausing on Sherlock’s legs, crossed together in a vice grip at the thigh. Was Sherlock…? No, that couldn’t be it. Surely John was misreading the situation. “Are you alright?” he prompted, and Sherlock sucked in a loud, shaky breath.

“I’m excellent, John,” he said in a strained voice, still with his eyes closed. “Are you nearly finished?”

“Just about,” John replied, trying and failing to shake off his growing suspicion. Clearly, Sherlock didn’t want to draw attention to whatever was happening to him. John could respect that. He’d had massages before. Some touches felt unexpectedly nice, and things happened with one’s body that one couldn’t always control. It was perfectly natural — though John had never thought of Sherlock as someone who felt ‘natural’ urges.

“Relax,” he said, waiting for Sherlock to stop clenching his jaw and facial muscles. It took a moment before everything slowly eased. However, Sherlock’s lower body remained steel-tense, and John could still feel those minute tremours beneath his hand. But Sherlock didn’t speak, keeping his eyes shut, so John didn’t comment on it.

Instead, he returned to the task at hand. Gently tugging at Sherlock’s curls to tilt his head back, John exposed the underside of Sherlock’s throat and jaw as he angled the blade at the edge of the lather. With the heel of his hand pressed against Sherlock’s skin to steady his grip, John felt the subtle twitch of muscle underneath as Sherlock swallowed again, his breath catching. Rather than let that strange, slight stutter catch him off guard again, John swiped the blade up, taking the last of the lather with it in one smooth, rasping stroke.

Then, following some instinct John couldn’t name, he set aside the blade and laid his hand over the freshly-shaved skin. Sherlock gasped at the contact, blood rushing into his face and darkening his pale cheeks. The touch was light, John’s fingers barely brushing the blade-reddened skin, but Sherlock’s response was like a man run through with an electric current, his body jolting from head to toe.

John held perfectly still, waiting to see what Sherlock might do, expecting him to pull away and rush off back to his experiment. But he did neither, sitting perfectly still — save for the tiny shivers twitching through his body — under John’s touch.

Emboldened by that silent faith, John swept his fingertips down the strip of skin he’d just shaved, feeling goosebumps rise in the wake of his caress. Sherlock’s shiver increased, the colour infusing his face darkening to a deeper, tantalizing flush. John watched, enchanted, as Sherlock’s eyebrows drew together, then upward and back down as a myriad of complex expressions flitted across his face. He turned his hand, cupping the side of Sherlock’s neck, tracing the rough line of Sherlock’s bobbing throat with the pad of his thumb, just to see what would happen.

Sherlock’s lips parted around a sigh that sounded both startled and strained, the tension in his face first intensifying, then easing slowly, as John repeated the motion. He stroked Sherlock’s throat in slow, smooth passes, his work-roughened skin catching briefly on the damp terrain. Under his fingertips, pressed below Sherlock’s jaw, John felt the soft vibration of Sherlock’s whimper, voiced from deep within his throat.

“Never realized you were so sensitive,” John murmured, awed and hardly noticing the blurred lines of their friendship passing them both by. Sherlock seemed even less cognizant of the change, head tilted back as he pressed into John’s touch, offering and baring his throat in a shocking display of trust.

It was that which nearly undid John entirely. But what erased the last of his hesitation was Sherlock’s eyelids fluttering open to reveal his darkened gaze. His pupils were blown wide, almost erasing the silvery shade of his irises.

“John,” he croaked in a voice as jagged as broken glass. His head was tilted back far enough that it nearly rested on the table behind him, the science equipment scattered over the surface seemingly forgotten for the moment.

The sound of his name, spoken with such desperation, cleared the last of John’s confusion. He let go of the last remnants of his denial, of his enforced blindness of how Sherlock was reacting to him. Because he was reacting to John, that much was clear, and there was no mistaking the meaning of that reaction.

Without speaking or wasting time on words, John cupped Sherlock’s face in his hands and bent down to brush their lips together. It was a bare ghost of contact, a tentative drifting of mouths, but Sherlock’s response was definite. He groaned and surged upward, his uninjured hand tangling in John’s hair and pulling him closer. Their noses bumped clumsily, Sherlock’s teeth scraping John’s bottom lip before their mouths slotted together in a fierce kiss. It was sloppy, turning even more so when Sherlock’s lips parted, and his tongue darted out.

John responded in kind, tasting Sherlock’s eager gasp as their tongues met. Sherlock panted against his mouth, the sound desperate and rushing in John’s ears. They kissed until their need for air grew too great, some uncounted seconds that broke as John turned his face to suck in a loud inhale, his lungs burning. Sherlock gasped in sympathy against his cheek before turning John’s face back to his to reclaim his mouth in another kiss. There was the sharp drag of teeth again, the sleek, hot press of tongue and lips, and Sherlock’s hand sliding out of John’s hair, down his nape to his broad shoulders. His splinted hand hovered, ineffective, just in front of John’s chest.

“Sherlock,” John murmured, forcing himself to think through the fog of arousal quickly obscuring his thoughts. “Sherlock, wait.”

They broke apart at once, Sherlock jerking his head back. His eyes were wide, pupils huge, his face twisting into an expression of watchful uncertainty. John — who realized he had, at some point, settled onto Sherlock’s spread thighs — blinked at that expression. Something very close to fear flickered in Sherlock’s blackened gaze, prompting a soft tsk from John.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he said, reaching out to smooth a tangled curl back from Sherlock’s forehead. “Everything is fine.”

Some of the tension in Sherlock’s rigid body — though not all — eased. “Is it?” he asked, his typically cultured voice turned rough. Less smooth velvet, more gravel. John thought he could get used to that change.

“Absolutely,” John murmured, offering a crooked smile. “Absolutely fine. But maybe we should, ah, slow down?”

Sherlock blinked up at him, hands settled on John’s waist, his forehead creased with a puzzled frown. “Why?”

John tilted his head and chuckled. “Well… I mean, we’ve only just had our first kiss. Are you sure you want to rush into things?”

A quiet scoff escaped Sherlock’s full lips. “We’ve lived together for several years, John. You’ve seen me naked a multitude of times—”

“Helping you shower and go to the loo when you’re injured isn’t really the same as an intimate relationship,” John interrupted, amused.

Sherlock waved his hand dismissively. “Semantics. Unimportant.” He sobered, his eyes darkening as his pupils widened again. “The facts are simple: I’ve wanted you for a very long time, John Watson. Now that you’ve realized it, I see no need to place restrictions on our feelings.” His eyes narrowed, eyebrows dropping into another frown. “Unless that’s not what you want?”

“Not what I said,” John said with an indulgent smile. Trust Sherlock to approach something like feelings with utter rationality, even as the apparent sign of his arousal pressed against the backs of John’s thighs. “I just never knew until now that you felt this way. It’s… well, it’s a bit of a surprise.”

Another scoff from Sherlock. “It’s not my fault that you’re a rather oblivious person, John. Now,” he said, voice clipped and to the point, “are you going to kiss me again? Or must we continue to talk all this out when I’d much rather show you how I feel?”

John stared at him, taken aback by the bluntness, before he tilted his head back and let out a loud, shocked laugh. “Oh, you’re going to be a handful, aren’t you?”

A gleam entered Sherlock’s pale eyes, lighting his face with mischievous promise. “I most certainly do plan for there to be handfuls of something, John. Rest assured.” He squeezed John’s backside with his un-splinted hand in a demonstration, prompting a startled but pleased wiggle from John.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” John said with a grin, then bent his head to meet Sherlock’s upturned mouth.

[jordanstrophe]

Going One, Going Twice, Part 8

Calm Before the Storm

CW: Pet whump, Panic attacks, Some dehumanization, Whumpee considering themselves “property”, Then F L U F F 

Masterlist

Robert sat at the table, dozens of newspapers and magazines spread out before him. “What about this one?” Lukar pointed. “No, it’s smack in the city, I want someplace quiet.” Robert mumbled. “But not too quiet! I don’t want to make him ride in a car for an hour just so we can do something for thirty minutes. What if he wants to go to a restaurant, or coffee, maybe a picnic at the park?” Robert explained. 

Lukar couldn’t help but to let out a laugh. “You really thought this through, huh? I’m sad to see you go, so don’t move halfway across the state now. Who’s going to take me golfing.” He laughed. “How about my cousin? I’m sure she would love to take you” Robert smirked.

“Are... Are you trying to kill me?” Both men laughed, hardly paying attention to the magazines anymore. Robert glanced back at Peter, who stared at a blank canvas. He had been holding a brush with blue paint on it for ten minutes now, too scared to touch it to the canvas.  “Sweetheart the paint is drying on the brush.” Robert chuckled. “But.. What if I mess up? It’ll be permanent!” He cried. Robert stood up and sat behind him, talking his hand in his.

“Then that’s okay. It doesn’t have to be perfect.” He coaxed him to at least touch the brush to the canvas, as it finally made contact. “Good job, now have fun with it.” He gave him a pat on the shoulder before heading back to the table.

“So I heard your demon of a cousin is hosting a party.” Lukar said. “Yep. She doesn’t have time to return my calls, but she has time to throw a party.” He groaned. “What’s the occasion? Welcome to Hell?” Luke giggled. “Might as well be. It's-.. It’s a Pet party.” 

.........

“It’s... A what now?” He asked, setting his coffee cup down. “I don’t know, they all invite their fake friends to show off their status through their Pets. It’s disgusting, they treat them so horribly. Some even trade or borrow each other's Pets there.” He said. “Part of me wants to slip in the crowd to Nina, but you can’t even get in without a Pet. Because... It's a Pet Party.” He shrugged. 

“Why do you need to talk to her that badly? I’d avoid her like the plague if I were you.” He asked.  Robert let out a pained sigh, slinking further into his chair.

“In Aunt May’s will, there was something else that was supposed to go to me, but didn’t. Something that belonged to my mother.” Robert muttered.  

“What? Why didn’t you get it? That has to be really important to you!” Lukar yelled.  “Nina is why, she swears it’s missing, but I know she has it somewhere. She’s holding out on me because she’s angry about the inheritance. I’m hoping if I can talk to her face to face, or even buy it from her if that’s what it takes, I’m willing.”

Lukar ran his fingers through his hair with frustration, before glancing over at Peter who was as slowly as possible, streaking the brush around.

“Him.” He nodded. “He can get you to her.”

“No, That’s out of the question. I’m not bringing him an inch near that place!” 

“It’s a get in get out. You can be there for five minutes if you want to.”

“No! My decision is final! This conversation is over!” Robert yelled.

Both men fell silent. Robert crossed his arms and stared at the floor. 

“I’m sorry, I won’t bring it up again. I need to head off to work soon, good luck at the house search.” Lukar sighed, setting his cup in the sink. Peter very quietly crept up, nervously holding the canvas in his arms, hiding it.

“Hey! What do you have there?” Robert asked, brushing off his sour mood and sitting up straight with a smile.  “It’s.. Not much. I didn't know what to do.” He muttered, nervously turning the canvas around and holding it up to cover his face. It was perfectly covered in one shade of blue, every brush stroke even across.

“Oh, it’s lovely! Is it... Uh.. The ocean?” He asked. Peter’s arms dropped the canvas to his knees. “No. It was the sky.” He muttered sadly. “Of course it’s the sky! It’s a beautiful sky.” He smiled.  “I’ll do better next time.” He sadly turned around.  “Hold up now.” Robert grabbed his arm before he could slink away and snatched the painting from his arms. He glanced around the room for a bit, before pulling off an old painting of a landscape, and replacing it with his. 

‘’There! Perfect.” He smiled, glancing over to Peter, whose face was red with blush. 

“M... Master?” He asked, giving him a tug on the sleeve. “We can go, if you want. I’ll be okay.” He muttered, pulling the coat up that was draped around his shoulder as if he could hide.

“Go? Go where?” He asked. A spike of excitement shot through his chest. Finally! He was coming out of his shell and wanted to go somewhere.

“T-t-to the party...” He mumbled.

“The.. Party?” He repeated... Trying to figure out wha- Oh.

Oh no.

He had overheard the conversation.

“No. No no no, we’re not going. It was a stupid suggestion. I would never take you somewhere like that, it’s not safe.” Robert said with a serious tone.

“But, it would help, wouldn’t it?” He pleaded. He felt so spoiled since he came here. No punishments, no neglect, no torment. This was the least he could do for his saint of a master. Robert sighed, mentally conflicted, but he had still made his decision. 

“Little one, you don’t know what Nina is like. She’ll use every opportunity to hurt me, and if you’re there, she will do it through you. She’s manipulative and cruel, nothing good will come from the trip.” He said. “B-but-!” -”No! No buts, I appreciate you trying to help, but we’re not going and that’s final.” 

Peter quickly shut his mouth, looking at the floor sadly, before nodding his head. 

“Do you want to help me make breakfast now?” Robert asked, trying to lighten the mood. It surprisingly worked, as Peter’s eyes lit up, as he enthusiastically nodded his head. Robert was nervous letting him handle any knives or stoves, so he mostly had him watch the pancakes. 

Robert came over to stand next to him, as Peter glanced over, this was the first time he felt comfortable around another person, and it’s a Master of all people. He almost felt like a normal person, not what he actually was...

Property.

He shakily glanced over at the man next to him, just realizing how high he had to look up just to see his face. He caught Robert’s eye, as he glanced down and gave him a comforting smile in acknowledgment. He jolted and shot back to his straight posture, pretending he wasn’t just noticed. His heart pounded in his chest, quite shaken that he wasn’t just slapped across the face like normal for being so skittish, but it gave him some confidence to test the waters a little bit.

He glanced back again, slowly inching his way closer, and slowly wrapped his arms around Robert’s arm. He moved so slowly Robert didn’t even notice. Well, he was here now, no turning back. He fully latched onto his arm in an instant, practically hugging his arm for what felt like dear life.

Robert jumped at the grip, looking down at the man who was trying to hold his arm, but looked petrified with fear, staring blank ahead, trembling. His heart fluttered, as he smiled and gently held his arm back. He was tempted to try and spike up a conversation and give his hair a pet, but he knew how much bravery doing just this probably took, so he gave him some breathing room.

After the pancakes were done, Peter awkwardly slid his hands off and held them shyly, as Robert set everything on the table. He nervously glanced at the tall stool, then back at Robert, who already knew he was asking for permission. He held his hand out for him, as he excitedly took it as he was pulled up into the chair. 

‘’So what do you think about this one?” Robert asked, handing him a magazine with a two story house.  He tilted his head a bit, why did master care about his opinion? He was just a house Pet, meant to do chores and be quiet. “I-I, It’s,-” He stuttered, trying to decipher what the man wanted. “It’s okay if you don’t like it, it’s for the both of us.” He smiled.  

“Master, why do we need a new place? What’s wrong with this one?” Peter asked. “Well, it’s a bit crammed, I got this place originally because it was just me, I didn’t need anything fancy. Also we only have one bedroom.” He chuckled.

We only have one bedroom... huh? 

Wait, we only have one bedroom!?

It finally clicked in his brain, as Peter shot to his feet.

“We only have one bedroom!?” He shrieked, his voice cracking. Robert jolted, almost spilling his drink.  “I-, Yes? That’s correct.” Robert stuttered. “All this time, you were sleeping in that chair because of me, isn’t it?!” He cried, he slid off the chair, and collapsed right onto his knees on the hard floor. “I-I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t know! T-That was the m-master bedroom, wasn’t it?” He broke down sobbing, covering his face. He felt something heavy thud right in front of him, as he sensed a looming presence. 

Two hands wrapped around his wrists and gently pulled them down, so Robert could dry the tears. “Honey, it’s alright, shh, quiet down now. It’s okay.” He soothed. “You didn’t do anything wrong, you were sick and you needed rest, I don’t mind, plenty of nights I fell asleep on that chair in the past. I’m even bringing it with us too when we move, even though it’s awfully beat up.” He chuckled. 

“B-But... But it’s not right! I don’t deserve it! I’ll sleep on the floor, or in a cage! I don’t care!” He cried.  “Peter, look at me.” Robert said sternly, cupping both cheeks. He immediately stopped crying, slowly looked up. 

“I’m going to take care of you, okay? It doesn’t matter to me where you sleep, or what you eat, so long as you’re healthy and happy, okay?” He asked. Peter couldn’t quite understand why, if this was a trick, a test, maybe part of training? Maybe he was also testing the waters... But what if he wasn’t? 

That night, when Robert tried to tuck him in bed, he rebelled a bit. He squirmed out of his grasp, and kept slipping out from under him as soon as he tried to pick him up. “Honey, please, we talked about this! It’s okay.” He soothed. Peter only sat on the floor, looking up at him with a mischievous grin. Wait, was he playing with him? He chuckled, shaking his head as he picked him up and tossed him onto the bed before he could break his grasp. He immediately slithered off the bed back onto the floor, as Robert pushed him up again. 

“I feel like I’m trying to wrangle some wild animal.” Robert laughed, as Peter giggled, trying to evade his grasp. After about ten minutes, he got tired out and face-planted into the pillow, letting out a sigh of defeat. “Victory!” Robert cheered, throwing the blankets over him, and giving his hair a ruffle before turning out the lights. 

It was such an odd feeling, having someone else living with him that he was responsible for. But every part of his body only wanted him to be protected and cared for. He missed out on life a lot because of a cruel system that forced him to lose his freedom, his very soul, but he was determined to give it back as much of it as he could.

When he woke up that morning, he felt like there was a heavy blanket hugging him, but when he blinked his eyes open, Peter was happily snuggled up beside him on the chair with his head resting on his chest.

Well, he did say he could sleep wherever.

Tag list: @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @moose-teeth @ill-eat-you-if-you-cross-me @yet-another-heathen @sillypizzazineoperator @freefallingup13 @alien-octopus @unicornscotty @whumpzone  @penny-for-your-whump @girlwithnoballons242 @whumpingredroses  @rippedjeansandfadeddreams  @cupcakes-and-pain

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Thank you for reading!

It’s oouut! I was afraid this was going to be a bit boring, since it’s a set up for the next one, but I think I managed to salvage it?

[flipsidesau]

Welcome To The Flipside (Masterpost)

Flips are the more amplified negative versions of each side's function! Flips share a body with the side they amplify, and some have certain triggers to get them out (like Romulus and his crown). This is due to emotional attachment to that object. Thomas doesn't know much about them, aside from the fact that they exist. They are angsty and gay and new in town and we hope you love them as much as we do! - Glee and Jo MEET THE FLIPSIDES VIRGILIUS + Virgil's Flipside + Birthday - November 5th   + Function - Paranoia + Flip Trigger - Pre-AA hoodie, could hypothetically be sheer will but it's extremely hard + Relationship Status - Taken by Romulus + Usually very quiet and defensive of Damion's.. behavior. A (trying to be) peacemaker between his boyfriend and Damion, it's.. not going so hot. Not very close to anyone else aside from Damion and Romulus, really. Sarcastic and nihilistic. ROMULUS + Roman's Flipside + Birthday - May 1st   + Function - Pride + Flip Trigger - Black iron crown with red rubies. + Relationship Status - Taken by Virgilius + Very very very very headstrong and narcissistic. Doesn't really do the whole "listening to other people" thing. Brash and easily upset. Got any criticism? Great! Throw it away now. Of course his ideas are the best why would you think his ideas are not the very best do you need to be held at swordpoint hmmmmm???? CASSIUS + Logan's Flipside + Birthday - August 2nd   + Function - Apathy + Flip Trigger - Logan taking off his tie. (Not him switching into other clothes- physically and intentionally taking off his tie in his normal outfit) + Relationship Status - Taken by Deidrus + He does not care. In fact, he doesn't even care enough to find that fact alarming. Will say the most troubling shit with a straight face and then just- leave the room. He is very blunt and to the point and has no time for people cannot keep up with his either lighting fast or snails pace talking. DEIDRUS + Patton's Flipside + Birthday - June 26th   + Function - Guilt + Flip Trigger - Sheer will, anytime Patton feels an overwhelming negative emotion. + Relationship Status - Taken by Cassius + The two moods are crying and on the verge of crying. Sensitive, shy, and quiet, he is the least talkative of the group. Will apologize for anything and everything he does, even if it didn't offend you. He also plays the ukulele but would never waste your time with his "silly strumming". DAMION + Janus' Flipside + Birthday - ???   + Function - 𝒜𝓂𝒷𝒾𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 + Flip Trigger - Sheer will. + Relationship Status - Single and would not like to mingle. + Whatever you do don't tr- 𝐻𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈! 𝒮𝑒𝑒𝓂𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎'𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝓈𝓅𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓆𝓊𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓅𝓁𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓂𝑒. 𝒜𝓁𝓁 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝑒𝓍𝒸𝒾𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓅 𝒯𝒽𝑜𝓂𝒶𝓈 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝑒𝓁𝓈𝑒 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒. 𝒟𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓉𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝒹𝓈 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝒾𝓉.~ DYSNOMIUS + Remus' Flipside + Birthday - April 1st  + Function - Immorality

+ Flip Trigger - Sheer will 

+ Relationship Status - Well, see, there's this guy with some scales, and a weird wink thing going on,- 

+ Maybe he'll stab you. If he's in the mood. He stands his brother, but doesn't get the drama of it all- if his brother's boyfriend is soo sad, why doesn't he just fuck off with him or some shit? He's not very good at regulating himself.

[theperplexityoftheunknown]

What is a relationship to be continued

You may ask yourself why this is Important yet it is very important! We will discuss Why they are important to your well being and what type of person you are in a relationship? I think if you take the time to read this post in its entirety and intense complexity you will have a better understanding of where you are in life and what more you can become by understanding the perplexity of every relation to man or relationship because trust me THIS BABY is going to get TOUGH.

Lets start of with the first question what is a relationship

the way in which two or more people, groups, countries, etc., talk to, behave toward, and deal with each other. : a romantic or sexual friendship between two people. : the way in which two or more people or things are connected.

Please go ahead and read one more time because that may or may not be the closest thing of a relationship to that you have a mutual relation  and understanding of but its way, way more complex just keep reading.

Each relationship we have encountered has been determined by how we were raised Im going to refer to some quick psycho-social information coming from a study introduced during world war 2 by British psychoanalyst john bowbly, whose lonely childhood gave him a lifelong interest in the power of parenthood.

In the 1970s a test was conducted by Bowlby’s student Mary Ainsworth. She performed the strange situation test where children that's age ranged from 12-18 months were put  in a toy-filled room with their mother and given a chance to play. A stranger enters and interacts with the parent and child,then mom exited the room-- leaving behind a confused and alarmed little kid. A few minutes later mom returned and comforted her toddler. Needless to say being separated from the person who feeds, protects, and tends to you is frighting for any toddler, but the test showed definite categories of reaction to that fear.

Why is this important ?

Early Attachment.

As seen above you can see that a study was conducted concerning attachment styles. It's important because it is with this information that you find out what type of relationships You are going to be compatible with. Some types absolutely do not collide but if you think this is all about “how do i form a relationship” well keep reading because its not possible for everyone.

1 Secure, when it is evident to have a secure attachment style when the parenting style was: Warm, attentive,relatively consistent, and quick to respond based on that approach the child's Baseline Emotional Status (BES) would have been happy, confident, and curious which would have subconsciously continues into adulthood with the Child’s expectation of life being: My need will be met

2. Anxious -Ambivalent/resistant, it is evident to have an anxious attachment style when the parenting style was: Inconsistent: sometimes responsive and sometimes not. The Child's BES would have been Insecure, anxious, and intensely emotional which in return would have subconsciously continued into adulthood with the child's expectation of life being: “IF i act in the right ways, I might earn love and my needs may be met”

3. Avioident- ,it is evident to have a avoidant attachment style when the parenting style was: Distant and Cold, or harsh and critical. The child's BES would have been Emotionally shut down which in return would have subconsciously continued into adulthood with the child's expectation of life being: “I can't trust anyone to meet my needs. I must meet my own needs.

Im sure your getting the idea of why this is now important

Lets looks at three statements

1 I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them. I don't often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me.

2. I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me or doesn't want to stay with me. I want to get very close to my partner, and this sometimes scares people away.

3 i am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others:  i find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, love partners want me to be more intimate than i feel comfortable being

In 1987 psychologist cindy hazan and philip shaver reported the results of the statements above  they called it the ‘love quiz’

56% of adults respondents had identified themselves as secure, 19% as anxious and 25% as avoidant

The perfect combination

Secure people tend to have the most secure relationships, and a relationship needs only ONE secure partner to get that stability. With a partner who is happy to give reassurance and isn't threatened by the idea of being needed, an anxious person can relax, and is often loyal and loving. With someone who doesn't take it personally when their partner wants time alone,avoidant people can worry less about being tied down- however, most of the compromises in the relationship will likely be made by the secure partner. The real problem comes when two insecure types get together. If relationships often get messy for you, learning to recognize attachment styles and understanding how they clash can give you a path through the conflict

But then again Here comes perhaps the most perlex question i can ask? What happens in adult hood when you experience the pain and turama of a heartbreak?

What particularly does that do to each individual and how do they cope?

Do some people perhaps just shut down! Absolutely not! One subconsciously gains the ability to cope with their losses how? Lets start with:

Sexual compulsion – Relationship with sex, attachment and sexual orientation

I know your wondering What the Fuck where did this just turn to but trust me, or dont but you may or may not want to hear this or perhaps your brain craves the knowledge to understand and you ask yourself why your life is working in the way it is; remembemer its all in you!

I believe the first coping skill for some may be Hypersexuallity which I will refer to later.

2. I believe a conduct Disorder  DSM-IV-TR 314.9 Is primary consistent with feelings of Emotional shock from a previous ‘heartbreaking’ or traumatic event.

I will explain. I'm going to refer to the diagnostic features of conduct disorder which manifest itself  as a repetitive and persistent pattern in  which the basic rights of others or major age-appropriate societal norms or rules are violated. These behaviours fall into four main groupings” Criteria A1-A7 aggressive conduct that causes or threatens physical harm to other people or animals .

Or see criteria A8-A9 nonaggressive conduct that causes property loss or damage Or see A9 - A13, DECEITFULNESS OR THEFT

It is definite that promiscuous behavior is dangerous therefore someone engaging in Criteria a1-a7 w/o aggression and associated with parts or in hole with A8-9

Furthermore  the prevalence of conduct disorder appears to have increased over the last decades and may be higher in urban than in rural settings.

Course.

Individuals with conduct disorder are at risk for later mood disorders, anxiety disorders, somatoform disorders, and substance related disorders.

Sexual addiction, also known as hypersexual disorder, is associated with serious psychosocial problems for many people.

Sexual addiction, which is also known as hypersexual disorder, has been associated with serious psychosocial problems for many people although it has not been recognized as a disorder that merits inclusion in the DSM (Quadland, 1985) – see Karila et al. (2014) for review. Originally, Carnes (1983)published a book titled Out of the shadows: Understanding sexual addiction, which has raised interest in the area and facilitated a discussion on the best way to define and diagnose the disorder. Despite different views about pathological characteristics of sexual addiction there is an agreement that this is a progressive relapsing condition which does not merely refer to a pathological diagnosis of sexual lifestyle that is socially deviant (Edger, 2010).

Sexual addiction involves compulsive behaviors such as constantly seeking new sexual partners, having frequent sexual encounters, engaging in compulsive masturbation and frequently using pornography. Despite efforts to reduce or stop excessive sexual behaviors individuals find it difficult to stop and they engage in risky sexual activities, pay for sexual services and resist behavioral changes to avert HIV risk (Carnes, 1991; Coleman-Kennedy & Pendley, 2002; Coleman, Raymond & McBean, 2003; Kalichman & Rompa, 1995). Sexual compulsivity has been associated with the number of unprotected vaginal sex acts with female sexual workers, lower self-efficacy for condom use, greater use of illicit drugs, and more financial need (Semple et al., 2010).

Cognitive and emotional symptoms include obsessive thoughts of sex, feelings of guilt about excessive sexual behavior, the desire to escape from or suppress unpleasant emotions, loneliness, boredom, low self-esteem, shame, secrecy regarding sexual behaviors, rationalization about the continuation of sexual behaviors, indifference toward a regular sexual partner, a preference for anonymous sex, a tendency to disconnect intimacy from sex, and an absence of control in many aspects of life (Carnes, 2000, 2001; Carnes & Schneider, 2000; Coleman et al., 2003; Coleman-Kennedy & Pendley, 2002). Finally, some studies find that sexual addiction is associated with or in response to dysphoric affects (Black, Kehrberg, Flumerfelt & Schlosser, 1997; Raymond, Coleman & Miner, 2003; Reid, 2007; Reid, Carpenter, Spackman & Willes, 2008; Reid & Carpenter, 2009) or stressful life events (Miner et al., 2007).

Attachment theory (Bowlby, 1979, 1982) argued that early attachment experiences affect personal and social life, professional relationships, dealing with stress, mental and physical health and cognitive development. According to recent developments in attachment theory, those who developed a safe attachment style which is not anxious or avoidant during infancy can form healthy relationships in adolescence and adulthood and handle life problems (Uytun, Oztop, Esel & Mdusunen, 2013). Individuals with secure attachment are expected to have low chances of becoming addicted to sex since they regulate and limit their sexual activity more than those with insecure attachment (Zapf, Greiner & Carroll, 2008). Furthermore, individuals who are addicted to sex are looking for sexual activity without the need for emotional relationships and they are more likely to be characterized by avoidant or anxious attachment (Gentzler & Kerns, 2004).

Gay men are diverse with respect to the sexual behaviors they both desire and enact (Moskowitz & Roloff, 2010; Sanderson, 1994). Moreover, gay men differ from other groups in their sexual behavior. Research shows that, on average, gay men have more partners, engage in more risky sexual behavior, and are more likely to seek sexual sensation than other groups, such as heterosexual men, women and lesbians (Bailey, Gaulin, Agyei & Gladue, 1994; Ekstrand, Stall, Paul, Osmond & Coates, 1999; Thompson, Yager & Martin, 1993). But among homosexual men there is variability in the propensity to engage in compulsive unprotected sex. Meyer and Dean (1995) have reported that about 6% of their 149 young New York City gay men (aged 18–24 years) engaged in very high risk behavior, defined as unprotected receptive anal intercourse with multiple partners. It appears that very high risk takers are qualitatively different from other risk takers: they reported more mental health problems, including more drug use and higher levels of internalized homophobia and AIDS-related traumatic stress response. Furthermore, there are moderators of sexual behavior among gay men such as being in monogamous relationships. Also sexual health and sexual health behaviors for example sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) were most influential over the enactment of sexual behavior or desires (Moskowitz & Roloff, 2010).

Few studies investigated sexual compulsivity among heterosexual and homosexual men. Furthermore, to the best of our knowledge, the relationships between compulsive sexual behavior and attachment and sexual preference or orientation have not been investigated before. We have therefore investigated sexual compulsivity and attachment style among populations of heterosexual and homosexual men and women. We hypothesized that secure attachment would be associated with lower rates of sex compulsion. Secondly, that homosexual men and women would show higher levels of sexual compulsivity than heterosexual men and women. Thirdly, we hypothesized that attachment style might mediate between sexual orientation and sexual compulsion.

[ascorpionstale]

I was tagged by @portiaadams

Name: Kate

Relationship status: Complicated 

Favourite colour: Green, Blue, Purple

Pets: None as of yet, but I’m really hoping to have a dog and a cat. Renting in London and having pets at the same time is tough :(

Favourite food: Italian. Truffel pasta, pasta with mushrooms, cream sauce... I love that stuff. I also quite like sushi. 

Coke or pepsi: I’ve always been a coke gal. 

Day or night: Depends on my mood and my creativity. Sometimes I feel better if I wake up at dawn, and sometimes I can go on and on forever when it’s dark and quiet and the stars are shining

Chapstick or lipstick: Lipstick, I guess

Text or call: Text. I freak out if I have to call somebody, especially if I don’t know them

Last song I listened to: Heaven Is A Place On Earth by Berlinda Carlisle :D

Favourite band/artist/group: Kate Bush, Queen, TR/ST, Boy Harsher, Active Child, Sandra, Enigma, Cocteau Twins, Them Are Us Too, Chromatics. I listen to a lot of obscure electronic bands and some of their songs take me to heaven, but since I haven’t delved deeper into their catalogues I don’t think listing them would be fair.

Any hobbies: I love reading more than anything else! I also quite enjoy playing cards (something I took up as part of my research for my book), photography, walking and hiking, watching good TV shows, painting. I adore nature and I used to swim a lot, so I suppose that also counts. 

Thank you so much for the tag and sorry for the delay!

[amuseoffyre]

Crossing Paths - 1421 - Heaven

I got to thinking that in all my previous chapters, Aziraphale flailed about being caught by their respective bosses, but he never really put any thought into what that could mean, because it’s simply not how he thinks. So, of course, I decided I needed to enlighten him :D

1421 - Heaven

Aziraphale discreetly rubbed his palms on his tunic, praying that the sweat didn’t leave stains.

No matter how many times they had got away with the… Arrangement in the past, he couldn’t help feeling anxious every time he was summoned to give his reports in person in Heaven. He half-expected to find himself in shackles every time.

“–were considered a great success,” Gabriel was saying, beaming. “Our numbers have never looked better.”

“I’m afraid rather a lot of people died,” Aziraphale said, then hastily bit his tongue.

“Mortals,” Gabriel patiently shook his head with a sigh. “That’s what they do, Aziraphale.”

The angel nodded, folding his hands in front of him again, lacing his fingers together. “I know. I just– I thought it might be considered a good thing for…” He coughed and nodded pointedly downwards. “I mean, they do like a body count.”

“What Hell does or doesn’t approve of is not our concern,” Michael murmured. They were dressed in embroidered robes that wouldn’t have looked out of place in a Cathedral. Dark haired spilled down over their shoulders, held back from their face by a diadem, as they tilted their head to study Aziraphale, as if he had somehow sinned and fallen short of their approval.

“Well, yes,” Aziraphale agreed at once, heart pounding.  Personally, he had tried to remain neutral, but it was hard to be neutral when the so-called “good guys” launched an assault that burned down a building full of women and children. He hesitated, then said, “The demon – Crowley – was there.”

“To be expected,” Gabriel nodded. “This was a major point of conflict and we won.”

Aziraphale forced his mouth to smile, although it was hard to consider anything a win when he and Crowley had been left standing in the ashes and rubble, the demon’s face tight with barely masked grief and rage. He couldn’t even be sure which of them had been offering the blessings or leading people into temptation in Žatec. It was too simple now, one or the other, sometimes within the same breath.

And sometimes, Crowley’s miracles were so infinitely beautiful that it was hard to remember that he was a demon at all.

He deserved not to be.

“I know I was only meant to be monitoring his activity,” he began, touching carefully as one does when searching for the source of pain. It was rare for Gabriel to be in such a good mood and the best time to try to take advantage of it. “But do you think– that is to say– wouldn’t it be a real coup d’etat for us, if we could win him back to our side?”

He didn’t know what was worse: the look of incredulity on Michael’s face or Gabriel laughing out loud.

“Win him to our side?” Michael said, disdain dripping from every word. “He’s Fallen, Aziraphale. Why in the name of the Almighty would we want him on our side?”

“Surely all creatures are worthy of the Almighty’s grace…” he faltered as the two archangels exchanged looks.

“Aziraphale,” Gabriel said with gentle condescension. “We understand your intentions are good, but he’s Fallen already. Why bother with someone who chose to reject us? To reject this?” He gestured around the glistening marble halls of Heaven. “Something like that isn’t worth saving. I doubt they would even consider him a significant loss. Would you waste your valuable time on something like that?”

Aziraphale tugged self-consciously at the edge of his tunic. “No. I suppose.” He forced himself to raise his eyes back to Gabriel’s. “But if I could only try–”

“If you want to see what Hell does to him, by all means,” Michael said mildly. “They don’t like traitors down there.”

“Tr-traitors?” Aziraphale blanched. “But–”

“If you even try to draw him back into the light,” Michael said with the tone of one speaking to a child, “they will see it as a betrayal.”

Draw him into the light. By, for example, performing miracles that an angel should, by rights, be performing.

“I– I see.” It felt like poking a sleeping lion, but he couldn’t help asking, “What on earth would they do to a disobedient demon anyway?” He forced an uncertain laugh. “Can you be cast out of Hell?”

Gabriel shrugged. “Nothing a little baptism wouldn’t take care of.”

“Baptism?” Aziraphale frowned. “That doesn’t sound so…” His heart dropped like a rock. “But baptisms are– that would mean–”

Michael gave him an impatient look. “Yes. Holy water. Demons are not as forgiving as we are.” They shot a glance at Gabriel, who nodded slightly. “That will be all, Principality.”

“But–” Aziraphale’s words died in his throat at the cool expressions on the archangels’ faces. He forced another brittle smile, bowing, his fists clenching around the edge of his tunic. “Of course. Thank you for your time.” He backed away, hurrying for the staircase that led back down to earth, trying to ignore the deafening thunder of his heart in his ears.

 ______________________________

 1427 – Valais

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

Aziraphale froze where he was, stooped over the poor shackled woman on the floor. There was little to be done for her but the small mercy of a peaceful death. He drew away the pain of her broken bones and soothed the terror and rage enough to let her rest in her last moments. When his wings unfurled, bright and brilliant, he felt her joy and relief, then the quiet as her soul slipped away.

“Angel.”

He didn’t – he couldn’t turn. “I don’t think it’s wise that we continue,” he forced out, knowing how much more difficult it would be to say those words to Crowley’s face. “With the Arrangement, I mean.”

There was a small explosive hiss of a breath from behind him. “And why’s that?”

He folded his wings in, taking comfort from the weight of them against his back. His hands were shaking unbearably. They had to stop. They had to. He had been so worried about his own fate that he hadn’t even thought about Crowley’s and now that he knew…

“It’s too dangerous.”

Crowley groaned. “Not this old chestnut again!”

Aziraphale’s hands twitched by his sides and he curled them into fists to keep them still. “You– you never told me the risk you were taking!”

The demon fell silent. “What are you on about?” he finally asked.

Aziraphale took a shuddering breath, then turned to face him. “You never told me what they would do to you, if you were caught.”

Crowley was still as a statue, the darkness of his tunic and cloak blending into the shadows of the cells. “And?” he finally said.

“Crowley!” Aziraphale exclaimed. “Is it true? That they would–” The word caught in his throat, hard and sharp and shocking him with how painful it was. “Would they really… kill you?”

The demon looked away from him with a shrug. “Maybe. Never asked.”

“But it’s a chance?”

“Could be.” He hooked his thumb through his belt. “Better not get caught, eh?”

Aziraphale stared at him, feeling as if the world had been tugged from beneath him. “No!” He felt sick with horror at the thought. Not simply because it was the death of a living creature, but the fact that it was Crowley. “I couldn’t bear it if– that you could be–” He shook his head. “We can’t! Not for the sake of saving time.”

He realised that the demon was looking at him again, a strange expression on his face. By the flickering torchlight, his lips twitched. “Aw, angel. You do care.”

Aziraphale flushed. “I don’t! I only– it’s just that–” He threw up his hands. “Why are you so insufferable?”

That made Crowley grin. “Because it’s fun?” He sauntered closer. “Anyway, you’ve got nothing to worry about. They don’t care what we do, do they? Four centuries we’ve been at it now and not so much as a sound out of them.”

“Well, yes,” Aziraphale had to agree. “But there could always be a first time.”

The demon was less than an arm’s length from him, still grinning. “Not if we’re careful. And I don’t know about you, angel, but I’m always careful.”

Aziraphale was mortified by how undignified his snort was. “Well, we both know that’s a lie.”

“Eh.” Crowley shrugged cheerfully. “Even if I’m not, I’m still very good at convincing them I’m damn good at what I do up here.” He tilted his head, his grin turning into a crooked smile. “Come on, angel. Can’t get cold feet on me now. You know this is good for both of us.”

“It is very dangerous,” he protested, but he could feel his resolve giving way.

“Everything’s dangerous to someone,” the demon pointed out reasonably. “That’s living, isn’t it?” He pulled down his glasses, peering over the rims. “What do you say? I’ll let you take Ronda, if you want? I was meant to be heading that way next week.”

Aziraphale almost whimpered aloud. The last time he’d visited Spain, they’d had some of the sweetest, most delicious oranges he had ever tasted. And it was orange season as well. “Maybe once more,” he said. “For old time’s sake.”

“One more.” Crowley beamed at him. “Course. That’s all.”

Much later, Aziraphale would wonder when he had become such a good liar.

[charminglatina]

Riverdale Characters as Tropes (Part I) ⭐️.

Here is a list of the most notable Riverdale characters and their tropes that best describe their character archetypes and personalities. I used tropes from TVTropes.org. Have fun reading!

#1. Archie Andrews (Main Trope: Big Man On Campus AKA BMOC; Secondary Tropes: Chick Magnet, Betty and Veronica, The Ace, Mr. Fanservice, The Hero, Lovable Jock, All-Loving Hero, Action Hero, Nice Guy, All Guys Want Cheerleaders)

Big Man On Campus (BMOC)

Guys want to be him, gals want to be with him. Maybe Even the Guys Want Him. The Big Man on Campus is the most popular guy in the High School. He is handsome, charming, a superb athlete and usually pretty smart and an A student. Unlike his peers Alpha Bitch (who is usually his girlfriend until he realizes how awful she is) and the Jerk Jock (usually his friend until he realizes how awful he is) the Big Man on Campus never bullies anyone: he rules through charisma and general awesomeness rather than fear and manipulation. But like the Lovable Jock (with whom he is often close, if not one and the same), woe to anyone who trifles with him. He'll probably grow up to become The Ace. Sometimes Truth in Television. The Big Man on Campus is very popular in Prep school fiction, as a well-read, handsome, athletic, affable, and articulate man is the epitome of prep. The High School Hustler is occasionally a Big Man, but more often lower on the totem pole. Generally this character is either the protagonist himself, or is the chief love interest in a story about a Cool Loser heroine. He rarely turns up if the story is about male outcasts (as the existence of a benign popular kid makes it harder to use jocks as villains) or about a popular girl (as those sort of stories usually give her an outsider love interest). The Big Man on Campus is Always Male. For a "popular but good hearted" High School female equivalent Spoiled Sweet is the trope of choice. Compare School Idol and Lovable Jock . For settings outside of High School, compare it to Magnetic Hero.

#2. Betty Cooper (Main Trope: Girl Next Door; Secondary Tropes: Tomboy With A Girly Streak, Ambiguous Disorder,  Amateur Sleuth, Beware The Nice Ones, Cute and Psycho, The Smart Girl, Tomboyish Ponytail, Wrench Wench)

Girl Next Door

A Girl Next Door is a character who, it is implied, an "ordinary guy" male protagonist might have known when growing up, and whom he might like without feeling intimidated. She may literally be from the same neighborhood as the hero, or she may just remind him of girls he knew back home. In simpler terms: the feminine equivalent of an "average Joe", in terms of looks and personality. An Average Josephine, if you will. They'll usually embody a "wholesome" sort of femininity, so they're rarely the promiscuous sort, though she might act as a foil to a woman who is. Since the trope is more about her personality, some can be considered knock-outs. In which case, they're likely the local beauty in the neighborhood, or a small town; especially if she's someone like the sassy, hot waitress from the local diner, or the Farmer's Daughter. Among their friends, they're easy to talk to and usually good listeners. But they also tend to be frank about how they see things and expect the same in return. In a Betty and Veronica duo, she's the "Betty". As such, her disposition ranges from even-tempered, to boisterous and, if she's a looker, she usually doesn't flaunt it. That isn't to say, she's incapable of passion; she's just unlikely to be extroverted about it. Girls of this nature will often appear in Harems, usually as the inevitably Unlucky Childhood Friend of the protagonist, or as said above, the "Betty" in a Love Triangle. In non-romantic stories, she'll either be best friends with one of the others, or she may be the Cool Big Sis. The Spear Counterpart, Boy Next Door, is the same, only—you know—male. Often overlaps with One of the Boys. Contrast with Hello, Nurse! and Peerless Love Interest. Also compare The All-American Boy, who might well be her High School Sweetheart.

#3. Veronica Lodge (Main Trope: Tsundere; Secondary Tropes: Lovable Alpha Bitch, Daddys Girl, Girly Girl,  The Beautiful Elite, Spirited Young Lady, Spoiled Sweet, Defrosting Ice Queen, Aloof Dark-Haired Girl, Mafia Princess, Uncle Pennybags, Antagonistic Offspring, The Fashionista, Fallen Princess, The Atoner)

Tsundere

The Japanese term tsundere refers to an outwardly violent character who "runs hot and cold", alternating between two distinct moods: tsuntsun (aloof or irritable) and deredere (lovestruck). The term was originally used to describe characters who began with a harsh outgoing personality, but slowly revealed a soft and vulnerable interior over time, which made this a plot trope as much as it is a character trope. Over the years the character archetype has become flanderized, and is now generically associated with a character who flips between the two emotional states at the slightest provocation, and usually at a specific person rather than a general sociability problem. The former is usually referred as Classic Tsundere and the latter as Modern Tsundere. A tsundere, especially a classic one, is usually a Tomboy with a Girly Streak. Tsunderes are mostly tomboys with hidden girly sides. The tsuntsun can range from the cold "silent treatment" to the hotheaded "kindergartener who pushes you into the sandbox." The reasons behind a Tsundere's behavior vary widely, but usually boil down to the conflict between their feelings of affection towards a love interest, and their reaction to having those feelings. The Tsundere stock characterization is very popular with writers of Romantic Comedy because the conflicts between the two personality facets can be easily utilized to generate both drama and comedy. It also acts as a source of Wish Fulfillment: specifically, the idea that every independent, hardened and just plain jerkish love interest (male or female) has a squishy emotional centre that will embrace you after you crack the outer shell.

Tsundere can be divided into two main categories, depending on their default mood:

Harsh (or Tsun): These Tsundere have tsuntsun as their default mood. It takes someone special to trigger their deredere side. The intensity of the tsuntsun can range from simple grumpy pessimism (Kagami of Lucky Star) to "I must glare and fight my way through life" (Louise of The Familiar of Zero). It's about which part of the tsundere personality is the public face and which the hidden. If the Tsundere is The Rival, she is more likely to be Harsh. Helping a rival out is usually accompanied by a line like "Don't get me wrong, I'm not doing this for you." Harsh types can overlap with a Jerk with a Heart of Gold, but usually not. The moods of a Tsundere tend to switch in reaction to the actions of select people or adverse scenarios; the deredere side usually only comes out when someone has acted in a way to trigger it. A Jerk with a Heart of Gold is jerkish in general regardless of whether the other person is mean or nice, and shows their Hidden Heart of Gold only when the situation warrants, regardless of how the other person had been acting. Male characters in particular should be considered for Jerk with a Heart of Gold status, as arguably because of Double Standards, men are generally that instead of tsundere, although the kuudere subtype is more equally split in gender. Oranyan is sometimes used to refer to a male tsundere character—incorrectly since it means the complete opposite.

Sweet (or Dere): These Tsundere have deredere as their default mood. They are sweet, kind and generous, but just happen to have a hidden violent side as well. Don't confuse the sweet tsundere with Bitch in Sheep's Clothing because in this case, they have a temper almost always triggered by someone or something else, usually a Love Interest. Either they have Belligerent Sexual Tension, are an Accidental Pervert, or just have no idea how to handle feelings of love and attraction. In some cases, an Armoured Closet Gay character may act like a Tsundere to mask their feelings for the object of their same-sex affection. May also overlap with Violently Protective Girlfriend if her Love Interest is threatened or in danger. Sweet types should not be confused with a Yandere. If a Sweet Tsundere were really convinced that their Love Interest didn't want them, they would revert back to the deredere side and probably enter an I Want My Beloved to Be Happy phase, while Yanderes are Not Good with Rejection at all and have been known to get downright murderous under such circumstances.

See also the Analysis page for more detailed information on common "strategies" employed by Tsunderecharacters, and other, related topics. This site has an explanation on the appeal of the Tsundere character. A common way of showing that a Tsundere has mellowed or has had her heart won over by the Love Interestis to have her shift from Harsh to Sweet. If her motivations are inquired, she will often engage in a Suspiciously Specific Denial, complete with a Luminescent Blush and total evasion of eye contact (cue the squeaks of Moe). When paired with a Jerk with a Heart of Gold, together they produce Belligerent Sexual Tension. If done poorly, the result is an Unintentionally Unsympathetic Jerk Sue. Compare with Well, Excuse Me, Princess!, Jerkass, and Jerk with a Heart of Gold. Contrast with Sour Outside, Sad Inside, which shares the spiky exterior but has depression and self-doubt rather than kindness hiding underneath. When Flanderized tends to overlap with Mood-Swinger. Also see Don't You Dare Pity Me! and Anger Born of Worry; both of them likely actions with this character type. Aloof Ally may show the same hot-and-cold behavior but for differing reasons. Shana Clone is a specific subtrope with a particular set of characteristics. Because of their low tolerance for stupidity, they are always Enraged by Idiocy. Please do not confuse this trope with a Mood-Swinger, who flips between all the emotional states (not just tsuntsun and deredere) and is more of an inherent mental problem encompassing more than just their romantic life. Also don't confuse with Playing Hard to Get, where a love interest deliberately chooses not to reciprocate her pursuer's interest until she's sure he's hooked. Psychologically, tsundere-like behavior could be an example of "splitting", a maladaptive coping mechanism wherein a person alternately idealizes and undervalues others, including potential romantic partners. This trope is Older Than Dirt, dating back to at least ancient Mesopotamia.

#4. Jughead Jones III (Main Trope: Jerk With A Heart Of Gold; Secondary Tropes: Big Eater, Beware The Quiet Ones, The Cynic, Byronic Hero, Deadpan Snarker, Good Is Not Nice, Good Is Not Soft, Cool Crown Hat, Loners Are Freaks, Wrong Side Of The Tracks, Lower Class Lout, Face Of A Thug)

Jerk With A Heart Of Gold (JWAHOG)

A person you would expect to be a big Jerkass has some redeeming qualities behind their tough demeanor. Occasionally, they'll try to make it a Hidden Heart of Gold. In a romance series, a female character filling this role is usually a Tsundere instead (occasionally she's both). A male version is usually Troubled, but Cute, and his heart of gold should never outweigh his inner jerk because All Girls Want Bad Boys, though it can if Single Woman Seeks Good Man. If his jerkishness threatens to overshadow his good qualities, he's likely to attract a Love Martyr. Sometimes Truth in Television, though you can expect Real Life examples of this to be far more subtle than fictional ones. Often this is Played for Laughs, but not always. They are just as common in drama, suspense, horror and other genres as they are in comedy. One reason for this is that they make an convenient Plot Device. After all, the supposed jerkass turning out to save the family from their real stalker, instead of being said stalker, can be a source of Heartwarming Moments when done right. If he's a manly-man who pursues an unexpectedly delicate hobby, it may be a case of Real Men Wear Pink. Audiences may also sympathize more with the JWAHOG if he's shown to frequently have a good reason to act angry or annoyed. Even the most patient of souls can only endure being the Only Sane Man when they're Surrounded by Idiots for so long, after all. One or two Pet the Dog moments scattered around for character depth does not grant a heart of gold. A true JWAHOG has many Pet the Dog moments. Or maybe those moments are rare, but powerful. Or maybe they skew more toward the "Jerk" part but start making a point of showing the "Heart of Gold" part following a Jerkass Realization. Either way, ultimately they manage to balance out the jerk in them. If it doesn't balance out, they're just a regular jerkass, or worse, a Jerk with a Heart of Jerk. Not to be confused with a certain jerk whose spaceship is named "The Heart of Gold." Even if he is an example. Or a group of people who helped defend the Heart of Gold, even though — again — they include at least two examples. Compare/contrast with Hidden Heart of Gold, Bitch in Sheep's Clothing, Noble Demon, Bruiser with a Soft Center, Hero with an F in Good, Innocently Insensitive, Aww, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other, and Sour Outside, Sad Inside. Sometimes subverted as Jerk with a Heart of Jerk. The Lovable Alpha Bitch is a frequent Distaff Counterpart of the frequently male Jerk with a Heart of Gold. Any Nice Guy have a complete heart of gold while the trope on this page tends to vary between this trope and the former troupe. The Lancer and Loveable Rogue are often, but not always, portrayed in this light. One half of the Belligerent Sexual Tension couple. Also compare Good Is Not Nice. Truth in Television: Most of the jerks you'll meet in your life will have some redeeming qualities to them. Few people are such jerks that they don't care about anyone, and cynical people tend to handle bad situations better, so having one as a friend can be useful when things go downhill.

#5. Cheryl Blossom (Main Trope: Alpha Bitch; Secondary Tropes: Academic Alpha Bitch, Rich Bitch, Spoiled Brat, The Cheerleader, Bratty Teenage Daughter, Clingy Jealous Girl, Lipstick Lesbian, Pet The Dog, Lady In Red)

Alpha Bitch

Take your typical setting involving teenagers—say, a High School—wait an establishing scene or two or three, and there she is. See that attractive blonde cheerleader looking down her nose (often literally) and sneering at the frumpy girl in glasses? That's her. Often times, she is the authority of the cheerleading squad and decides who's on and off the squad. After all, who needs a coach? The villainess of many a Teen Drama, the Alpha Bitch is the Distaff Counterpart to the Jerk Jock, and usually his girlfriend;note what he does with his fists, she does with a sharp tongue and sharper manipulation. She is often surrounded by a fawning Girl Posse who suck up to her and act as her faithful minions. She's very likely to be a Narcissist, a Drama Queen, a fashionista, a Valley Girl, a Bratty Teenage Daughter, a Daddy's Girl, an Attention Whore, and/or a Proud Beauty. She's also usually the scion of a wealthy and influential family, the star of the school or head sister of the influential college sorority house, thus providing her a network of local celebrity, influence and wealth to exploit. She's also quite the seductress, and consequently, all the boys fight amongst themselves—sometimes literally—to be her oppressed boyfriend. And to top it off, she's also very good-looking. All this leaves her with the belief that she can do whatever she likes without consequences. Unfortunately, she's often right; the Powers That Be are not immune to her family's wealth, connections, and influence, and they can and will be corrupted or coerced into overlooking her bad behavior. Her natural enemy is the Cool Loser heroine. Whenever their eternal, jealousy-fueled struggle over possessions, boyfriends, and status is sparked anew, quarter will neither be asked for nor given. Usually the Veronica in a Betty and Veronica situation, if she's even presented as a love interest at all. Frequently on the Snob end of Slobs vs. Snobs. It's a Costume Party, I Swear!, the Prank Date, and the Party Scheduling Gambit are just some of the many nasty tricks she plays. Often receives her comeuppance at the hands of a member of her own Girl Posse in a Backstabbing the Alpha Bitch moment, or when the Cool Loser fights back (sometimes with an Engineered Public Confession). Normally joined by a Beta Bitch who assists her in her various cruel deeds. If given some Character Development, she will become a Defrosting Ice Queen and grow into a Spoiled Sweet, or a Lovable Alpha Bitch. This trope is probably so common because everyone who wasn't homeschooled knew someone like this... or was one. It self-perpetuates because girls who want to be popular will copy what works on TV. They might even become the mask.

Most examples fall into one of two types:

Aggressive: Despite being a not-too-bright, outwardly rude, bullying, mean-spirited excuse for a human, she will somehow still be the most popular girl in school, making her a weird mix of Card-Carrying Villainand Villain with Good Publicity. She may be manipulative from time to time, but the way she acts, it's a wonder people fall for her tricks. Usually, she will have a 0% Approval Rating, but even that won't be enough to stop her. Done poorly, she can break the Willing Suspension of Disbelief, but done well she can be used to show how masochistic teenagers can be, out of a need for acceptance and attraction towards people they perceive as powerful. Unlikely to be a Fille Fatale, she's too outwardly mean for that. But who knows, if All Men Are Perverts, they might overlook her personality in favor of looks. Common in Kid Comsand shows with Black and White Morality because she's a rather unambiguous character. This does not mean she is necessarily a Flat Character. She may in fact be Sour Outside, Sad Inside. Compare The Bully and The Lad-ette.

Passive-Aggressive: A smarter, more adroit version of the first type, she is often adept at putting on a friendly facade, all the better for her to lull the unwary into letting their guard down. Though sometimes Book Dumb out of a lack of interest in academics, she is usually of about average or greater intelligence, because maintaining her status requires some level of cleverness. Her beta is usually a good-naturedDumb Blonde, Brainless Beauty, or Asian Airhead for contrast. Very often a Fille Fatale, or if she's older, a Femme Fatale. Often, even she is just as oblivious to her inner nature as everyone else is, and thinks of herself as much like the way she presents herself to others. A Heel Realization may cause her to change her ways. Or she might be knowingly and unrepentantly evil and just knows how to hide it from others.

If she's not the cheerleader type with the fake smile, but is the (usually) unglamorous girl who will fight to be the best in her class, she's the Academic Alpha Bitch. Though almost always a she, rare male Alpha Bitches (called Alpha Bastards) do exist, but they're just that — rare. They're distinct from the Jerk Jock in that they're mainly catty and manipulative, rather than physically threatening. Not to be confused with the Prison Alpha Bitch, found exclusively in women's jail, whose methods of bullying are much more brutal and whose goal isn't social status but outright dominance. The reason this character type is hated more than other Jerkass characters may have to do with her privelege and looks, see also Jerk Sue. Contrast Unpopular Popular Character.

#6. Kevin Keller (Main Trope: Gay Best Friend; Secondary Tropes: Camp Gay, Adorkable, All Gays Love Theater, All Gays Are Promiscuous, Gay Guy Seeks Popular Jock)

Gay Best Friend

The Gay Best Friend exists mostly to add variety, funny mannerisms and cheap laughs to an otherwise all-straight story and sometimes shows of political correctness. The GBF may talk about sex a lot, but is seldom depicted as having any, because too many viewers would find that disturbing. Either he has no love life to speak of (which never seems to bother him), or it's forever offscreen, only discussed with the heroine over brunch at some pretentious cafe. As modern society grows increasingly comfortable with gay people, fiction is slowly seeing more well-rounded gay supporting characters with onscreen love lives, whose sexuality is incidental to the character. In fiction the most common use of this trope is a male GBF to a straight female protagonist but other permutations are very slowly beginning to appear.

#7. Toni Topaz (Main Trope: Biker Babe; Secondary Tropes: Bi The Way, You Gotta Have Blue Hair, The Ladette, Butch Lesbian, But Not Too Black, Twofer Token Minority, Tank-Top Tomboy, One Of The Boys)

Biker Babe

Women who operate fast vehicles are apparently attractive. Maybe it's the Action Girl in the tight leather. Also includes car drivers and female pilots. Compare and contrast Hood-Ornament Hottie. The two are similar, but a Biker Babe actually rides the bike and often wears outfits which are a little more conducive to road safety. (Although the page image is an exception.) May deliver a "Samus Is a Girl" reveal, if she wears a full helmet and doesn't wear her leathers skintight. Essentially the Distaff Counterpart to Badass Biker, in that she won't be a pushover if things get messy, although she may be less aggressively badass than he is. Will likely induce a Hello, Nurse! effect on nearby males, and maybe some Stupid Sexy Flanders from a nearby female. See also Badass Driver. If you have a team composed entirely of Biker Babes, you get Amazon Brigade.

#8. Josie McCoy (Main Trope: Idol Singer; Secondary Tropes: The Prima Donna, Sassy Black Woman, Quirky Curls, Face Of The Band, Black Best Friend)

Idol Singer

A wildly popular trope in fiction about Japanese Pop Music is the "Idol Singer" — a teenage or early twenty-something (NEVER over 25) female performer, chosen for her cute and attractive image and sunny personality more than for her actual singing ability (though having actual talent underneath is not completely out of the rule). Idol Singers are recruited by multi-level audition processes, manufactured and managed by Japanese media companies, and ruthlessly discarded after a few years of cranking out formulaic hits. Over the past decade there has been a shift towards "mega-groups" that can have over one hundred members, with the lead spots on songs and choreography going to the most popular performers. Sometimes, Idol singers don't actually sing (like Milli Vanilli). Most are tightly controlled by their producers and expected to maintain a public image of purity and innocence: for example, their contracts may include an article of her not being allowed to engage in anyintimate activities. While this level of control has loosened somewhat with the growing impact of social media, which allows idols to interact with fans more casually, as well as a Japanese court decision that effectively rendered the "No Dating" clauses of Idol contracts unenforceable (it's still very in-force in Korea, however), the industry has been slow to overturn its most problematic and exploitative elements. Naturally, every Japanese schoolgirl dreams of becoming one. Those who used to be one are often Broken Birds. Thanks to the Disney Channel, American Idol, and The X Factor, this trope is also prevalent in the West, where it often overlaps with the Teen Idol. If she's a villain in a Superhero or Magic Idol Singer show, she's an Evil Diva.

Look for Part II!

[starr57duggan-blog]

What is Narcissism?

A pattern of traits and also behaviors which indicate infatuation as well as fascination with one's self to the exclusion of all others and also the egotistic and callous quest of one's gratification, dominance as well as passion. Many narcissists (50-75%, according to the DSM IV-TR) are males. The Egotistical Individuality Condition (NPD) is among a "family members" of individuality conditions (known as "Cluster B"). Other participants of Cluster B are Borderline PD, Antisocial PD and Histrionic PD. NPD is frequently diagnosed with other psychological health and wellness problems (" co-morbidity") - or with substance abuse and also impulsive and careless behaviors (" dual medical diagnosis"). NPD is brand-new (1980) mental health and wellness category in the Diagnostic and Statistics Guidebook (DSM). There is only little study pertaining to vanity. Yet just what there is has actually not demonstrated any kind of ethnic, social, social, economic, hereditary, or expert preference to NPD. It is approximated that 0.7-1% of the basic populace experience NPD. Pathological vanity wased initially described thoroughly by Freud. Other significant factors are: Klein, Horney, Kohut, Kernberg, Millon, Roningstam, Gunderson, Hare. The onset of narcissism is in early stage, childhood and also early adolescence. It is commonly credited to childhood misuse and also trauma caused by moms and dads, authority numbers, or even peers. There is an entire series of egotistical reactions - from the light, reactive and transient to the permanent character disorder. Conceited Supply is outdoors focus - normally favorable (adulation, affirmation, fame, star) - made use of by the narcissist to control his labile feeling of self-worth. Narcissists are either "analytical" (acquire their conceited supply from their intelligence or scholastic success) - or "somatic" (derive their narcissistic supply from their body, workout, physical or sexual prowess and romantic or physical "conquests"). interesting are either "traditional" - see interpretation listed below - or they are "compensatory", or "inverted" - see definitions here: "The Upside down Narcissist". The traditional narcissist is self-confident, the countervailing narcissist covers in his haughty behavior for an ingrained deficiency in self-confidence, as well as the inverted type is a co-dependent who caters to the emotional demands of a classic narcissist. NPD is treated in talk therapy (psychodynamic or cognitive-behavioural). The diagnosis for an adult narcissist is inadequate, though his adaptation to life and also to others can enhance with treatment. Medication is related to side-effects and also behaviors (such as mood or impact conditions as well as obsession-compulsion) - usually with some success. The American Psychiatric Organization, based in Washington D.C., UNITED STATES, releases the Analysis as well as Analytical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th version, Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR), 2000. Click here to review the DSM-IV-TR diagnostic requirements for the Egotistical Individuality Condition. The global matching of the DSM is the ICD-10, Category of Mental and Behavioral Problems, released by the Globe Wellness Company in Geneva (1992 ). Visit this site to check out the ICD-10 diagnostic standards for the Conceited Character Problem. The DSM specifies NPD as "an all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or actions), require for appreciation or adulation and absence of empathy, generally starting by early the adult years and also existing in various contexts." The ICD concerns NPD as "a character condition that fits none of the details rubrics." It relegates it to the category "Other Certain Character Conditions" along with the eccentric, "haltlose", immature, passive-aggressive, as well as psychoneurotic personality conditions as well as kinds. The DSM defines nine diagnostic requirements. For NPD to be identified, five (or more) of these criteria need to be satisfied. ( In the text listed below, I have recommended modifications to the language of these criteria to incorporate current knowledge concerning this condition. My alterations appear in bold italics.). ( My modifications do not constitute a part of the message of the DSM-IV-TR, neither is the American Psychiatric Organization (APA) related to them by any means.). Click on this link to download and install a bibliography of the research studies as well as study relating to the Egotistical Character Disorder (NPD) on which I based my proposed alterations. Suggested Amended Requirements for the Conceited Individuality Problem. Feels grandiose and also self-important (e.g., exaggerates achievements, talents, skills, contacts, and characteristic to the factor of lying, demands to be identified as exceptional without proportionate achievements);. Is obsessed with dreams of unrestricted success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unrivaled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), physical charm or sex-related performance (the somatic narcissist), or perfect, everlasting, all-conquering love or enthusiasm;. Strongly convinced that he or she is distinct as well as, being special, can just be understood by, should just be treated by, or associate with, other unique or unique, or high-status people (or organizations);. Needs too much adoration, adulation, focus as well as affirmation - or, stopping working that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (Egotistical Supply);.

Feels qualified. Needs automatic and complete compliance with his or her unreasonable assumptions for special and also favourable concern therapy;. Is "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., utilizes others to achieve his/her very own ends;. Lacking compassion. Is not able or reluctant to understand, recognize, or approve the sensations, demands, choices, priorities, and options of others;. Continuously envious of others as well as seeks to harm or damage the items of his or her stress. Suffers from persecutory (paranoid) deceptions as he or she thinks that they really feel the exact same concerning him or her as well as are most likely to act in a similar way;. Acts arrogantly as well as haughtily. Really feels exceptional, omnipotent, omniscient, invincible, immune, "above the law", and also omnipresent (magical reasoning). Surges when disappointed, contradicted, or challenged by people she or he considers substandard to him or her and not worthy.

[myrecordcollections]

Gary Numan

Dance

@ 1981 US Pressing

******

Dance is often seen as the point where it all started to go wrong for Gary Numan. It is however, says Ned Raggett, one of the most interesting albums he ever released...

It's happened before, it'll happen again, and it seems most noticeable with guys, the men too often privileged and centered in humanity's roar. Loud guys - not always loud themselves in day to day conversation, but maybe known for big thoughts, sweeping gestures, a 'presence' - have a moment. Something happens that they can't brush off or brings them up short, makes them wonder what to do with themselves, and then they do something a little out of character. Then they seem a little smaller, withdrawn, perhaps humbler, perhaps bitter, maybe both. You've known them, you've seen them, you could be them. Maybe you changed your life, maybe you remember it as something embarrassing you try to forget. Maybe your friends and family see something good in what you did. Maybe they think you're not all that changed, that you had it all planned. Maybe nobody knows exactly what to think, even the person who had that moment happen to them. 

Often Dance, his fifth album in five years counting the Tubeway Army releases, makes me think of two later albums, made by musicians who have openly spoken of Numan as an inspiration - Kanye West's 808s And Heartbreak and the Smashing Pumpkins' Adore. Both West and the Pumpkins' Billy Corgan had become massively famous after years of woodshedding and then a series of higher profile breakouts. But then both death - West's mother after complications from surgery, touring Pumpkins member Jonathan Melvoin after an overdose - and drawn out romantic collapses (West's engagement, Corgan's marriage) shadowed their follow-up efforts, albums that seemed to go against all that they'd already achieved. It's an exaggeration to say that but not entirely: West's shift to singing with vocal treatments, a Roland TR-808 and a quieter approach and the Pumpkins' shift to a more audibly spacious and electronic sound with less guitar shredding all around, neither were what had gotten them to where they were at before. That is definitely the story of Dance and Gary Numan.

There's a key difference between those two later albums and artists, of course - whatever initial confusion resulted, 808s still turned into a solid commercial success, with massive hit singles and, over time, an absolutely clear impact on so much music, hip hop and beyond, in its wake, not to mention continuing fame for and high profile work from West, who will now be famous for being famous for decades to come. Adore in contrast was the clear turning point of the Pumpkins' and Corgan's fortunes, never again quite getting as big as they had before; the tours got a little smaller all around, and Corgan began his drift into the cult artist status he's held since - high profile enough in turn, a known figure, a part of popular musical history, but the hits aren't there any more, and new work gets endlessly compared to the past first and foremost. That too is the story of Dance and Gary Numan, in a different time and a different scale.

It's worth remembering the exact context of where Numan was in his life and the role he held when Dance was released. Setting aside the question of personal upheaval for now - thankfully, unlike West and Corgan, no death was involved - Numan had, almost out of nowhere, singlehandedly hotwired a mass audience to consider an approach in pop music that embraced and interpreted 70s science fiction, glam's lingering impact, punk's brawl and, above all else, synths used not as excuses for neoclassical flourishes or for inspired funk workouts but, taking open cues from German pioneers like Kraftwerk, as chilled, blunt elements, simultaneously atmospheric and centrally melodic and, in Numan's hands and combined with his amazing ear for the right rhythms and beats for his songs, totally anthemic and huge in sound and feel. At the start of 1979 he was 20 years old and utterly unknown beyond a small clutch of listeners, mostly in Greater London, thanks to Tubeway Army's debut singles and album. By the release of Dance a little over two and a half years later he was 23, had toured the world, broken America with one big hit, topped the UK chart with two, not to mention having three chart-topping albums as well, and had played what he'd already termed his farewell shows with a three-night stand in London's then-biggest indoor venue, the Wembley Arena. (And a further illustrative note of comparison if you'd like: the Smashing Pumpkins' first album Gish came out when Corgan was 24, Kanye West's first mixtape Get Well Soon… when he was 25.) Numan was fully appreciative of what had brought him that far so fast already, but he openly wanted to try something more.

It's worth remembering that this all happened in a huge rush not merely to a very young man but, as he's freely noted in later years, a very young man who wasn't merely a loner growing up but also had and has Asperger's. With a loving and supportive family all the while he wasn't ever completely at sea but where human interaction exists on a slightly different level beyond the comfortable and familiar, things can be unsettling to say the least, the more so in a time and place when the two major outlets for any public announcements - the tabloids and the music press, especially wherever the one might bleed into the other - required that kind of interaction. Numan, freely and happily able to lose himself in the studio for as long as it took to get to grips with the initial rush of electronic possibilities, found himself less comfortable with the situations like he described later with his then-girlfriend Debbie Doran's friendliness with characters in the London criminal underground. When after their breakup Doran approached the tabloids with her side of the story, it didn't help his mood in the slightest.

Dance grew out of all of that and more - as any number of other musicians and DJs rapidly realised what further pop and dance possibilities Numan's approach had opened the door to, following fall 1980 dates in the US for Telekon he laid low and created what in essence was his first real solo album. Even as past albums had had guests and experiments in arrangement, a core group had followed through in studio and live settings, and still would the following year at the Wembley shows, his only dates all that year. Dance is much more of a fluid affair, with regular standbys like bassist Paul Gardiner and drummers Cedric Sharpley and Jess Lidyard appearing here and there along with others, including, very notably, Queen's Roger Taylor - laying down some of the few big brawling beats on songs like 'Crash' and 'Moral' - and two members of Japan: guitarist Rob Dean on 'Boys Like Me' and, even more crucially, bassist Mick Karn, whose immediately recognizable fretless work appears off and on throughout the album right from the start, as well as his saxophone playing.

Dance isn't a crypto-Japan album by any means, though David Sylvian himself was tentatively approached for the sessions as well, but Numan clearly appreciated how the act had similarly transformed themselves over time and brought even more individual touches to their work together. It was a recognition of others who were generally simpatico with Numan’s musical background as well, in the same way that Ultravox's keyboardist Billy Currie had joined Numan for The Pleasure Principle sessions and tour, and how Numan openly acknowledged John Foxx's impact on him in turn. Ultravox, Japan and Numan weren't the only Bowie-and-Berlin (and Dusseldorf) obsessed acts in the country but they'd put themselves out there and everything was suddenly sparking, everyone levelling up and refocusing. Numan didn't completely mothball an approach, but he fractured his own model dramatically, and did so via numerous changes at once: minimal electronic percussion reminiscent of Cluster and Brian Eno, two of the longest songs he'd ever done, a visual shift from vague futurism to fedoras and suits to go with even more makeup, and a general sense, one or two songs aside, that everything had gotten calmer, quieter, more introspective, but no less electronic or textured. It's not a sound of exhaustion, but one gets the sense that, creatively, Numan wanted to at least take a deep breath and pause.

There were other changes as well. Perhaps aside from Tubeway Army's debut, Numan had managed the pretty sharp trick of concept albums that weren't labelled as such from Replicasthrough Telekon - the storylines could be there more vividly if you cared to focus, most notably on Replicas, but he'd spent even more effort at near-perfect sequencing and larger concepts instead. The albums all had a perfect flow to them, their respective visual designs marked each as different, and even something as simple as The Pleasure Principle's one-word-only songtitle restriction helped to create a sense of self-contained universes. Dance throws that overboard entirely, and the result is weirdly thrilling - it's not simply a random collage, but it's intentionally imbalanced (the two long songs both end up on the first side) and if there's a storyline it's unclear.

But there are stories. (And 'Stories,' per a song title: a near-winsome number about a long-separated mother and song meeting by chance in a restaurant setting with the suggestion of something out of a film, a scenario constantly retold.) To say Numan partially used the album to process his breakup from Doran puts it mildly - indeed, from the perspective of 2018, some sentiment feels especially curdled. 'Slowcar to China,' the opening number and one of the two near-ten minute numbers, is a beautiful and mysterious track musically, a statement of purpose for the album as a whole and utterly unlike anything he'd released up until that point. Though apparently the story of a prostitute, to some degree it feels like a vehicle for his collapsed romance, however unfairly, and lines include 'She'll pay the rent for the use of you tonight' and 'In love with this elegant bitch... and here am I just a shy young fool' are especially vicious. Yet there's also a suddenly affecting line like 'We'll sing without voice, without heart, and leave no address.' If it's indeed a young fool's feelings, they can resonate just as strongly decades down.

Meantime, the barely restrained hints of homoeroticism that had permeated so much of his earlier work take a further turn here as well on any number of the songs - if admittedly a voyeuristic homoeroticism, Numan talking about it later as someone who had observed situations and been approached, and nearly always shot through with an air of seediness as a default. 'Boys Like Me', with a truly slippery and compellingly weird arrangement via Numan and Rob Dean, has pride of place thanks to the title, but 'A Subway Called 'You'', 'You Are, You Are' and 'Night Talk' among others contain further instances, the latter also addressing drug addiction with an air of anger and desperation. An even more striking combined lyric along those lines originally appeared as a guest appearance for a solo single by his regular bassist Gardiner, included here among the extra tracks. 'Stormtrooper In Drag,' released by Gardiner a couple of months before Dance and featuring both Numan and his brother John Webb, is a glistening monster of a song, sounding like something that should be on a playlist with, say, Laura Branigan's version of 'Self Control,' an urban nighttime vibe that's both threatening and compelling. Numan's lyric is a compounding of both sexual suggestiveness - the title alone, but also lines like 'obsessions with boys on the floor,' 'love cries like some boys cry,' 'I could call and make you crawl into bed' - and drug horrors, itself likely pointed at the heroin-using Gardiner, who would die of an overdose three years later, and suggesting further undercurrents. 'It's so disgusting, I'm so tired of the rhythm/And needles in arms/And I don't want your point of view' sings Numan near the centre of the song, and the whole feels like a way for him to communicate what he couldn’t as openly or easily say to Gardiner otherwise - not necessarily love, but a companionship ultimately cut short.

Musically, throughout Numan seems to be not merely subverting expectations but finding ways to recontextualise his immediate musical past and look beyond it - most obviously on the concluding bleak rock crunch of 'Moral,' a murky as hell remake of 'Metal' from The Pleasure Principle that's a sarcastic trashing of the New Romantics in his wake right from the start of the lyric. (An extended version of 'Moral' is the one wholly new track on this reissue - all other bonus cuts and contemporaneous B-sides appeared on the 1999 CD reissue of the album.) Yet it's also heard in the way that the majestic keyboard swoops on 'Are 'Friends' Electric' are echoed in the distant and spectral shades on 'Night Talk,' or how the album's one single, 'She's Got Claws,' is as directly catchy as what had become notable hits before, but with Karn's saxophones, calmer midsong breaks and a more overt suaveness all around - even while Numan's lyric, as the title indicates, is a clearly pointed one aimed at Doran. Perhaps above all else it's heard in the way that Numan's obsessive love of strong rhythms plays out - the soft bursts and beats of electronic pulses, often touched with gentle echo, are nearly always played first and foremost in the mix, and he hangs the song's hooks around them with the same catchiness as he had readily demonstrated over nearly everything he'd already released. It's not art-rock, it's art-pop, but transformed, extended.

Perhaps no song shows this best on Dance than the other lengthy one, 'Cry The Clock Said', capturing deep blue melancholia with precision and skill, a further processing of heartache. With its steady beats almost like a rhythmic patter of raindrops, a guest appearance by Canadian prog figure Nash The Slash on violin adding delicately mournful touches, keyboards softly sparkling then withdrawing, a lead melody played with calm deliberation, Numan's clipped lyric delivered with a wounded yearn, it's easily one of his most affecting numbers then and now. His spoken-word break can barely be heard, a self-rumination, and if the joke is to say that the robot is finally human, a better take is to say that there aren't many songs like it anywhere that capture the shocked emptiness after a decisive break, like the heart steadily beats but there's not much to warm it or comfort it.

When Numan played those Wembley Arena dates a few months before Dance came out, he and his band played 'She's Got Claws,' but there's also a shortened 'Cry The Clock Said' sonically arranged with the same understatement as the studio version, with Nash the Slash performing his violin part. You can hear that on the Living Ornaments '81 album released years later, and quite literally it's like nothing else during the entire show. The otherwise vocally charged up crowd is given to individual cheers here and there - you can definitely hear some 'GARY!' moments - but they're more generally silent, probably somewhat unsure about what was on offer on the one hand, but perhaps just as easily entranced by its unfamiliarity on several levels. A slow, steady clapping along begins about halfway through that lasts for a bit, until a sudden burst of cheers heralds Numan's short vocal turn towards the performance's end. The loud-by-implication guy, the big-sounding band, the huge music, the experience they're singing along with for nearly every other song (even the otherwise more familiar quiet ones - check the full throated roar on 'Please Push No More,' and that was an album cut) has effectively undercut expectations across the board and forced a different kind of response. If this, more than anything else, was the sign made visible that's when things would forever change for Numan, then quite honestly, it couldn't have been more beautifully done.

Ned Raggett

[nexlance]

Adolescent Depression: causes, symptoms, treatment, and Parental Communication

Adolescence is a time of transition, and it is "natural" for adolescents to be moody, irritable, lonely. As a result, depression in teenagers is often misdiagnosed or merely due to normal teenage behavior. The stresses of everyday life are also having a negative impact on our young teens. Take a look at the numbers below and be astounded. Figures dont lie, and they are also the perfect way to highlight those details that, when introduced to the general public's attention, leave a permanent impression. It is important to capture the interest of someone who wishes to hear more about what the numbers are showing. There is no wonder that numbers are nothing more than concrete concepts with the potential to sway even the most cynical of minds, and it would even offer the young generation the real picture when it comes to teenage depression. Twenty Percent Of Teenagers Are Sufferers The first thing that will make you wake up and take notes of adolescent depression rates is the fact that almost one-fifth of the adolescent population of the United States has undergone a degree of psychiatric depression before reaching full adulthood. Not just that, but ten to fifteen percent of adolescents have signs of adolescent depression, while another five percent of the adolescent population has suffered from major depression. Second, another concerning feature of adolescent depression is the lack of social acceptance for adolescents with such an illness, and what's worst is that as many as 8% of teenagers would have witnessed the recurrence of depression at least once a year. This is concerning because depression affects just 5% of the national population. adolescent depression usually lasts for eight months. Teenagers are now at risk of having another bout of adolescent depression within two years, with the chances of this happening ranging from twenty to forty percent, and there is also a seventy percent chance that they will have another bout of adolescent depression. Third, a common characteristic of adolescence depression is that many teens experience seasonal depression. This form of depression is most common during the winter, but it can also be seen in areas of high altitudes. And the weather may play a role in the onset of seasonal depression, so teens must be mindful of these social influences on their mental health. Fourth, other data on adolescent depression show that dysthymia, or a moderate type of depression that persists for a long time, affects around 2% of adolescents, and a similar number of teenagers are more likely to develop bipolar depression as they get older. Indeed, it is estimated that up to 15% of teens who have had major depression are at risk of experiencing bipolar depression later in life. As a result, it is fair to conclude that adolescent depression can impact adolescents regardless of their socioeconomic status, economic class, ethnicity, ethnicity, or accomplishments, and that adolescent depression is a very serious mental health condition affecting teens in the United States. There are some prominent early signs of adolescent depression. If you think your underage child is troubled, you must get treatment urgently.

Adolescent Depression Different Than Adult Depression?

Depression is a mood disease in which people feel depressed, withdrawn, lose confidence in what is going on around them, have learning difficulties, and can even commit suicide. Depressive symptoms are normal, and most people will experience them at some stage in their life even though they are not diagnosed with depression. Men have a lifetime prevalence of depression ranging from 5% to 12%, whereas women have a prevalence ranging from 10% to 25%. Severe depression ranked fourth in terms of disease dysfunction and related risk factors in 1990. Depression is expected to rate second only to heart disease as a concern by the year 2020. Depression has also been attributed to an elevated risk of cancer, respiratory failure, immune dysfunction, allergies, migraine, insomnia, infectious disease, and suicide. The body responds similarly to depression and stress. Corticosteroids are hormones that are produced when a person is stressed or depressed. Cortisol levels in the adrenal glands rise and remain elevated during depression, affecting long-term memory. Individuals suffering from depression include increased development in the hypothalamus, pituitary gland, and adrenal glands. Long-term stress has been linked to a decline in hypothalamus volume. The hypothalamus is in charge of processing input from the autonomic nervous system and controlling feeding, sexual activity, sleep habits, impulses, and hormone secretion. People who have had repeated bouts of depression have irregular electroencephalograph sleep cycles. Enlarged ventricles and greater cerebral atrophy have been observed in depressive patients with psychotic characteristics. Adolescent depression can show itself in a variety of ways. Adolescents and infants, according to the DSM-IV-TR, exhibit more irritability, social withdrawal, and somatic complaints. Displays of melancholy and psychomotor retardation, as seen in people with depressive disorders, are not common in teenagers. Adolescent depression, on the other hand, may be characterized by frustration, confusion, exhaustion, and lack of interest in usually pleasurable activities. Another characteristic of teen depression is that it affects both boys and girls equally. Because of the presenting signs, adolescent depression is impossible to diagnose. Other conditions, such as Conduct Disorder, Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, and Anxiety, are often associated with the disorder. There are two forms of depression. Shyness, fear, worrying behavior, and avoidance are all correlated with internalizing style. Externalizing personality is linked to substance addiction and behavior disorder. A variety of studies have associated depression and other psychosocial factors to adult pain perception. It stands to reason that depression, or symptoms of depression, will be found in teenagers who are in distress. Adolescents' sense of well-being has been attributed to low back and mid-back pain. Adolescents and children who have back pain complain that their health is bad and that they are unhappy. Physical fitness is a major indicator of depression in youth, both now and in the future. In addition, physical disorder is linked to depression.

Warning signs and symptoms Of Adolescent Depression

Poor or fluctuating grades in school, disappointment in school or at work, and a sense of inability to achieve expectations are all red flags. Withdrawal from friends, family, and hobbies is another possibility. They will become more isolated as time goes by. They can show signs of depression, hopelessness, and a lack of motivation/enthusiasm. Their self-esteem may range from poor to non-existent. They may be unable to focus, make decisions, or miss things sometimes. Changes of sleep and appetite are possible. They can become irritable, irritated, and anxious as a result. They can become addicted to substances (self-medicate), depressed, or obsessed with death. When the adolescent exhibits some of these symptoms, continue to speak to them, even if it's just to let them know you're there for them, and get treatment right away. There are some indicators that a person is suffering from adolescent depression. Changes in appetite, changes in sleep schedule, lack of interest in usually common sports, irritability and often irrational response to anger, and, last but not least, declarations of depression are among the signs. Changes in appetite or eating habits are a typical and very strong indicator of teenage depression. In reality, it is one of the primary symptoms. More specifically, the signs can include eating too much, eating too little, or not eating at all for an extended period of time. These symptoms of teenage depression should not be confused with those with an eating disorder. However, these main signs may also turn into more neurotic habits, particularly as the patient begins to feel better following a diet shift. Changes in sleep and sleep schedule, including changes of appetite or feeding pattern, are symptoms of teenage depression, but the behaviour varies from person to person. Nonetheless, a significant shift in sleep habits with no apparent cause should be regarded as a fairly solid and not-to-be-ignored warning sign. Another well-known symptom of teenage depression is a rapid and unexplained decline in involvement in previously favored hobbies. It's not the same as when a child outgrows a passion of a certain game. If your child enjoys a sport and suddenly decides not to participate during the season, you should be concerned. It may be a symptom of teenage depression. Another red flag, which is difficult to ignore, is when the child becomes enraged frequently or overreacts to his or her own annoyance. This may be more than just a case of more or less anticipated adolescent rebelliousness. However, distinguishing between typical juvenile misbehavior and depression-driven misbehavior requires the expertise of a trained and experienced healthcare professional. There is no such thing as a single symptom of depression. It's still a slew of symptoms. When your child expresses despair, it may only be a terrible hair day, so if you've recently encountered any of the above symptoms of stress, it's time to take action. Call your doctor and brace yourself and your family for a bumpy trip.

Adolescent Depression - Causes and Best Treatment Options Available

Adolescent depression is a form of depression that may develop during adolescence. This form of depression is characterized by a lack of confidence, feelings of worthlessness, persistent disappointment, and discouragement, among other negative emotions. You can't tell whether an adolescent will get sad or not; often it can be predicted, but in most situations, it can be kept silent before anything happens. It is important to treat teen depression until it worsens, which could happen at any moment. You must address the issue as soon as you know you are stressed or your adolescent is depressed. It might not be an easy problem to solve, but you have to start somewhere. Adolescent depression may be a teenager's acute reaction to such conditions or even normal stress, but it may also be a condition that they may recover from for years if they are not supported. When it comes to adolescents, depression is often caused by: - Arguments of independence from parents - a lack of liberty (in their minds). - The normal maturing mechanism, as well as the tension and worry that it entails. - Sexual hormones may play a significant role in depression. Adolescent depression can also be a transient response to upsetting circumstances that may escalate to a lasting situation, such as: - Failing school - Being the victim of bullying - Death of a relative or a close friend - A sad breakup with a partner Teenagers with poor self-esteem, those who are very critical of themselves, and those who believe they have little or no influence over such stressful experiences are at risk of depression. It is also well recognized that teenage girls are more likely than teenage boys to feel depression while they are going through a tough time. Any of the risk factors are as follows: - Unstable care giving - Weak social skills - Chronic illnesses - Sexual, mental and physical child abuse - Genetic depression - family history of the disorder - Parental loss due to divorce or death, as well as other traumatic life activities Any eating disorders, such as anorexia and bulimia, have been linked to adolescent depression.. Treatments It is important to rule out any physical illnesses first, such as hypothyroidism or anemia. Depression should be considered after all physical causes have been ruled out. The below are some treatments for teenage depression: When pursuing care for teenage depression, psychotherapy may be the first choice. Talk counseling attempts to help the troubled adolescent to improve their way of thinking. They will be taught more reasonable ways to solve their problems, as well as how to develop their interpersonal and social skills. Medication - Antidepressants are often used for children, but with great caution. This is due to a lack of knowledge on the long-term impact of antidepressants on teenagers. Antidepressant side effects can cause children under the age of 21 to have suicidal thoughts or even attempt suicide, necessitating hospitalization. Alternative treatments such as acupuncture, acupressure, and specifically tailored fitness plans can be beneficial to teenagers suffering from depression. Before adopting any new treatments, consult with your child's doctor. Herbal supplements are completely safe and have far less, if any, side effects than antidepressants. Check with your child's doctor whether he or she is on any medications for any health issues. The herbs are not dangerous; however, they can diminish the potency of certain prescription drugs, putting your child at risk.

Coping With Adolescent Depression

Adolescent depression is highly common and can develop in children who will never feel it again. Then, what happens? It is popular for a variety of purposes. For instance, teenage hormone levels undergo drastic modifications and differences. Hormone fluctuations can disrupt a person's mental health. Technically, the condition is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. When chemicals or hormones get out of balance, a person becomes depressed. Adolescents are most likely to undergo the emotions when their hormones shift often.. Children are still suffering a great deal of tension. To an adult who may not have children, this will seem to be a humorous joke. They do, after all, have their whole life ahead of them. They have little commitments and are at a point in their lives where they will have a good time. Regrettably, this is not completely right. Teenagers are continually subjected to social pressure. They are pushed to be slim, to dress well, and to use drugs and alcohol. Any of these stresses, particularly drug and alcohol pressures, are difficult for a teenager to cope with. Drugs and alcohol are depressants, and if a teenager continues to use them, he or she can develop depression. Loss is another cause. When a loved one dies, it is common for a person to feel depression. This trigger isn't just for teens. What Should You Do? Unfortunately, there isn't anything you can do to influence a teenager's hormones or reaction to social pressure. What you should do is speak to your kid about social pressure before they reach the age of adolescence. Describe what it is and how to deal with it. Keep a good watch on your infant as well. They may be depressed if they have severe mood swings or begin to behave abnormally. It may also be a warning if they become socially isolated and refuse to hang out with their mates. Maintain a constant line of contact with your kids. This will assist you with understanding how they are feeling. If you or your kid suspects they are sad, take them to a mental health provider right away. You should begin by speaking with a school counselor. A school psychologist may be able to assist them in coping with their hormones and social pressure. However, if the emotions are more intense, you can see a therapist. Trained therapists are well equipped to treat teenage depression..

Adolescent Depression and Parent Communication

Photo by Ivan Samkov on Pexels.com It is self-evident that puberty is a time of accelerated growth. The child's social responsibility extends into the home, and peer relationships tend to take precedence. Simultaneously, molecular changes are taking place, resulting in bursts of physical and academic development. It's no surprise that so many teenagers report feeling anxious and pressured. Despite the above causes, most teenagers adapt to maturity without incident and grow up to be well-adjusted adults. In particular, study over the last ten years suggests that roughly 80% of all teenagers achieve maturity without major difficulties. Many of the remaining 20% face transition challenges as a result of a variety of reasons such as family conflicts, peer interactions, and educational pressures. For others, the end result is sadness, and normal development is halted. Depression in puberty resembles adult depression. The adolescent is filled with depression, hopelessness, and a lack of interest in a brighter future. Eating and sleeping habits may change; friendships and family relationships may suffer; and school grades may begin to fall. In certain circumstances, the stress subsides and life resumes normalcy. However, if depression persists, the adolescent's life trajectory will be permanently changed, leading to school failure, drug misuse, and an unstable adult lifestyle. Fortunately, parents may take a variety of measures to assist their teen in overcoming stress and returning to normal functioning. To begin, it is critical to understand the improvements in the teen's biochemistry predispose them to emotional control issues. As a result, juvenile populations experience emotional extremes more often than infant or adult populations. Some days can feel like a roller coaster of emotional highs and lows. As a result, adults can become irritated and impatient when a teenager expresses his or her feelings. Second, it is critical to recognize that these emotional responses are very genuine, and that often just listening can be extremely beneficial to the teen. For example, when teenagers are so dependent on their peers, the absence of a best friend or first girlfriend is always viewed as tragic. And parents who are sympathetic to their teen's sadness may grow impatient as the teen's storms of crying, sleepless nights, and sullen demeanor disrupt the family environment. However, if parents are not present, teens can find another person to speak to. Someone else is usually another teenager who lacks the loyalty, empathy, and intelligence needed to be genuinely helpful. Furthermore, as hidden confidantes become Facebook comments, trust problems often emerge. Parents wield considerable strength. Read the full article

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