#monopoly x mcdonalds

[mayonaizs]

monopoly x mcdonalds old man yaoi.

monopoly x mcdonalds old woman yuri.

[mjsakurea]

This hyperspecific poll is brought to you by ~me~ and weird things about my life, curious to see if there's anyone out there with similar experiences

[thescribblesofreverie]

Prompt List

My requests are open! Check out my guidelines for request rules. These prompts can be used for any platonic or familial or romantic pairing, including reader pairings.

You can use these alone for a request or use one and give me a concept that you've come up with. And of course, you don't just have to request off this list.

(some of these are recycled from my KOTLC blog)

Fluff (or anything not angsty)

"I should never have let you in the kitchen."

"No, we cannot get a puppy!"

"I brought McDonalds."

"You know I'll always love you, right?"

"Tell me about the dream."

"Do you trust me?"

"I'm not leaving you."

"Let's play monopoly!"

"We're going on a road trip."

"It's 2 A.M., where are we going?"

"Did you make a blanket fort?"

"Why are you so cold!?"

"Tell me about...*insert x*."

"You're my favorite person. Always."

"Listen to this song, it's my favorite."

Angst

"Why won't you stop lying to me?"

"I wish I loved you."

"Did you really not suspect me?"

"Are you bleeding?"

"Stop listening to them!"

"Don't step any closer!"

"Please don't tell them."

"Why are you shaking?"

"You flinched."

"I should've died."

"You should've died."

"You promised not to leave..."

"I'm tired of you choosing them."

"I think I have to end this. Now."

"Are you scared of me?"

"Just take the shot."

This list will be added onto down the line.

[faithnfrivolity]

Rage Against the System

Murder, money, and Americans who are mad as hell

DAN RATHER AND TEAM STEADY

DEC 13

Over the course of my career in journalism, I have certainly seen news stories take surprising turns. But the murder of a health insurance executive on the streets of New York is something different. The killing by a coward, ambushing from behind, collectively shocked and disgusted many of us. As it should have.

But what has suddenly grabbed much of the country by the lapels is the support shown not for the victim, but for the man accused of committing the crime. With that support, we are witnessing an undercurrent of anger, even rage, come to the surface. It is directed squarely at an American business model that is, according to many policyholders, screwing us over every single day.

Violence cannot and should not be condoned, especially cold-blooded murder. It should be condemned, and the person who did it made to pay the maximum penalty under law. Period. Full stop. Beyond that, we as a nation, as a society, as a people are forced to recognize this: The lack of sympathy for murdered UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson and the glorification of his alleged killer has opened a window into the frustrated psyche of the American health insurance consumer. It is a window that we ignore at our peril.

If you haven’t been following this closely, here’s the quick backstory: On the morning of Wednesday, December 4, Thompson was shot in the back and killed in midtown Manhattan on his way to an investor meeting. The shooter inscribed the words “delay,” “deny,” and “depose” on the shell casings found at the scene.

Some of those words appear in the title of Jay Feinman’s book about the health insurance industry, “Delay, Deny, Defend: Why Insurance Companies Don’t Pay Claims and What You Can Do About It.” The killer’s etched words have become a rallying cry for many Americans who are hurting — physically, emotionally, and financially — under the current system. In these days after the murder, you can buy online merchandise like mugs and sweatshirts adorned with “delay, deny, depose.”

The man now charged with Thompson’s murder is 26-year-old Luigi Mangione, an Ivy League graduate who allegedly dropped a backpack full of Monopoly money in Central Park as he fled the scene on a rented electric bike, according to police. He was able to escape the city on a bus. Authorities arrested him on Monday at a McDonald’s in Altoona, Pennsylvania, after a patron recognized him.

In the ensuing five days, Mangione was vaunted as a modern-day folk hero and a 21st century Robin Hood.

What gives? Americans are good-hearted people. With that having been said, we are now witnessing a groundswell that knows no boundaries. It is red and blue, men and women, coast to coast — folks who have collectively had it with corporate health care.

Much of the online reaction to Thompson’s murder was morbid glee. The UnitedHealthcare Facebook page had to be taken down after a post about the CEO’s death received more than 36,000 laughing reactions, according to The New Yorker.

Things weren’t better on X, where 6 of 10 posts about the crime were in support of the shooter. “Thoughts and deductibles to the family. Unfortunately my condolences are out-of-network,” one person posted. “My only question is did the CEO of UnitedHealthcare die quickly or over several months waiting to find out if his insurance would cover his treatment for the fatal gunshot wound?” posted another.

Author Joyce Carol Oates put it well with her social media post. The outpouring of negativity “is better described as cries from the heart of a deeply wounded & betrayed country; hundreds of thousands of Americans shamelessly exploited by health-care insurers reacting to a single act of violence against just one of their multimillionaire executives,” she wrote.

The phenomenon of a person operating outside of the law to deliver justice in what is perceived as an unjust world has been called social banditry. “When people lose faith in the state’s ability to address their concerns and grievances, they sometimes look to outlaws who offer themselves as an alternative,” Joshua Zeitz wrote in Politico Magazine.

In the eyes of many, Luigi Mangione has become that alternative.

This unnerving reaction to Thompson’s murder and murderer was born of unbridled frustration with a failing system. The American health insurance “system” is a misnomer. It implies that it was intentionally designed. In truth, coverage in the United States entails a messy patchwork of private insurance companies covering 65% of those insured and government-funded insurance (Medicare and Medicaid) covering the other 35%.

Senator Bernie Sanders is a proponent of health care for all provided by the federal government. What we have “is a system not designed to provide health care to all people in a cost-effective way,” Sanders said of the current setup. “It is a system designed to make huge profits for the insurance companies, the drug companies, and many other industries within the system.”

Most of those private insurance companies are publicly traded entities whose primary goal is to make money. And boy, do they.

Last year, UnitedHealthcare, the largest private insurance company in the country, made $16 billion in profit. To boost profits even further a company must reduce costs. The easiest way for insurance companies to do so is to deny coverage. UnitedHealthcare, which has one of the highest denial rates in the industry, turns down about a third of all claims.

Shockingly to me, many health insurance companies — UnitedHealthcare among them — outsource the decision-making of approving or denying coverage to third parties that use AI-generated algorithms to make life-and-death judgements. According to reporting by ProPublica, this hidden cottage industry works by a “denials for dollars” model. The more they deny, the more they get paid.

It is no wonder people are infuriated and some are praising a self-styled vigilante who claimed he was trying to do something about it.

A 2023 Gallup poll found that just 31% of Americans trust the U.S. health csare system. One in 4 report delaying or foregoing medical treatment because of cost. While the Affordable Care Act has improved things, adding 45 million people to the insurance rolls, an estimated 23% of these are still underinsured, meaning they don’t have enough coverage.

Wouldn’t it be great if we had politicians who had the guts to do something about this mess? Health care lobbyists have spent more than $150 million to keep Congress in line.

And now we have Donald Trump and his bevy of billionaires, including the world’s richest man, looking to cut costs. Elon Musk says he may consider Social Security and Medicare as possible places to find savings.

The system can be fixed, but it would take elected officials willing to have the government do more, not less, at least when it comes to health care. Anybody think that sounds like Trump, et al.?

Stay Steady,

Dan

© 2024 Dan Rather

[rek1s-headband]

Hi! May I please request random bf headcanons for cherry? Ty!

➯A/N: Hi!! Thanks for the request! Hope you enjoy, and have a lovely day!

➯ Random boyfriend headcannons

➯ Characters: Kaoru Sakurayashiki x gn! reader

➯ Warnings: none:)

If yall met when you were still in high school, he would’ve tried to convince you at least once to let him pierce you or give you a tattoo.

That’s how you would’ve gotten together initially too. His face inches from yours, sticking his tongue out in concentration as he pulls the needle through your lip. Adjusting a piece of jewellery on your lip to match his, he’d gently wipe a stray drop of blood away from your lips with his thumb

You found you couldn’t pull away as you stared into his eyes, slowly closing them as he pulled you in for a gentle kiss. It was quick, but as soon as you pulled away he was pulling you back in for another, and another. The light throbbing in your lip was the least of your worries

He would’ve been so protective of you when he’d go with Adam and Joe to those underground skate meet-ups. Of course, he’s only gotten worse, now he refuses to leave your side at S for fear of some creep trying to hit on you

You have the most unnecessary beef with Carla. You know its a joke of course, but since Carla is, well, a robot, she’s not too knowledgeable about teasing. You’d ask her a load of random, strange questions she couldn’t possibly answer, or you’ll tell her how Kaoru is all yours and she’ll start overheating. Now any time you try to ask her a question she literally just. refuses to answer you

“Master, please tell y/n I dont want to speak to them.” “Oh I’ll show you master-”

Kaoru is indifferent to PDA. He doesn’t hate it, he just doesn’t think others deserve to see you like that. Hell give you the occasional forehead kiss, but even so his arm is constantly glued to you in some way

Behind closed doors though, he cant seem to get enough of you. He loves having you in his lap, his head on your shoulder while you watch TV. If you play with his hair he’s like putty in your hands, leaning into your touch with closed eyes and almost a purr. Loves when you drag your fingertips along his arms and his back, its a comfort to him

You and him will constantly gang up on Joe and absolutely violate the man. It’s already bad with just Kaoru, now imagine the poor guy having to deal with both of you

You’ll hide in the crowd during his exhibitions, occasionally shouting out praise trying to throw him off.

Or worse, you’ll just silently stand there, watching him look around suspiciously, knowing you’re hiding somewhere even if you hadn’t explicitly specified you’d be there. When he finally locks eyes with you, he has to try extremely hard not to laugh as he watches you stare him down, a small grin creeping over your face

You’ll go on dates to Joe’s restaurant just to annoy the shit out of him. You’ll act extra lovey-dovey just to make him uncomfortable, and the pair of you will fake a proposal at least once a month to get free cake(its always one of those shitty plastic rings you get from the dollar store too)

You dyed your hair pink to match with him once, and he absolutely loved it. The two of you would style your hair and clothes to match, and you were quite the sight to see at S

Slow dancing in the kitchen while you make dinner is a regular thing for the two of you. You’ll be idly stirring the pot when one of your songs come on, and suddenly Kaoru is pulling you away from the stove, twirling you around the kitchen and humming in your ear. More often than not you’ll get carried away and burn the dinner.

Who cares, takeout tastes good too

He’s awful at tying his hair up properly, and gets you to tie it for him before an exhibition or a race

You’ve curled his hair before while he slept, and he was insanely fascinated by it. He spent at least an hour shaking his head in front of the mirror, raking is hands through the wavy locks. He kept it curled when you tied it up before S, and it was a big hit during his race. Suddenly he was asking you to curl his hair more often

During the colder months, you and Kaoru will sleep impossibly close, a mess of tangled limbs while Carla quietly plays lullabies in the background. In the warmer months though, you couldn’t be further apart. Lying above the covers in minimal clothing, you’ll both hang off either side of the bed, hissing at each other to not come closer to them while you sweat like pigs. Hey, sometimes romance is keeping your distance

It’s a regular thing for the two of you to get wine drunk and whip out some old board games, yelling at each other when you get put in jail in Monopoly, flipping the Scrabble board when Kaoru insists that “milf” is not a word you’re allowed to use

“ITS AN ACRONYM” “YOURE AN ACRONYM” “WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN”

Reki and Langa love you. Miya took a bit of warming up to you, but as soon as he saw you bullying Joe with Cherry he adored you

If you can skate, you would constantly race against Kaoru just to see if you could beat him. However, with his fancy ass board that already hated you and his insane skills, losses were much more common than wins

He can never get any work done with you around him. You’ll lie your head in his lap while he tries to write, drawing smiley faces in the corners of his paper. He literally has to carry you out of the room just so he can get a bit of peace

Loves conspiracy theories. He’ll shake you awake at four in the morning, rambling about the new video he just watched about McDonald’s actually being run by a cult of clowns

*episode 9 spoilers* after Ad*m gave him a slap of his skateboard, you’d help him wash his hair in the shower, wrapping plastic bags around his casts and making jokes

*washing his back* “don’t make it gay Kaoru” “I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING”

[alovesongshewrote]

Whumptober Day 2 - Talking is Overrated Hisirdoux Casperan

Plot: shit goes wrong in a hotel room, what else is new (Hisirdoux Casperan x Reader)

Word Count: 937

Warnings: basically, it's smoke inhalation without the smoke, ambiguous ending, minor blood mention

A/N: So, i was technically saving this for it all ends in blood, but then i decided i would use it for whumptober, and then i decided that i would keep it in the headcanon format, and then i decided that this would make a good prologue for something coming later this month, so be on the lookout for that. In other news, today's prompt is choking, and fergalicious is technically a word!

So, you and douxie are hanging out somewhere in

Idk, new jersey?

I kind of feel like this would happen in new jersey

Anyway

Y’all are hanging out there

you’re staying in a crappy motel

Because something, something, there’s a world ending threat and the two of you are there to stop it, blah, blah, blah

Y’know, the usual

“The usual”

That’s kind of depressing

Whatever, you aren’t thinking about that

You’re thinking about whatever dumb thing you and douxie are up to

Maybe you’re watching netflix, maybe you’re having a nice chat, maybe he’s losing at monopoly, maybe you’re losing at scrabble, i don’t know and it doesn’t really matter

What matters is

The two of you are vibing and it’s about to go horribly wrong

It starts with a weird smell (?)

Not, like

Bad

maybe it isn't even a smell

it's

it's just weird

Like

The air is wrong

It isn’t the normal mcdonalds sprite air that most motels/hotels have

It’s

Thicc

So you turn to douxie and you’re like

“Do you?? Feel that???”

And he’s like

“Yeah, that’s weird… anyway”

(if you’re losing at scrabble, he says, “Yeah, that’s weird… anyway, fergalicious isn’t a word.”)

So you both wave off the bad vibes and get back to your calm night in

Which was a fucking mistake

And it was a mistake that wouldn’t have happened if archie was around

Where is archie?

Idk, maybe he’s getting groceries with your familiar

Wherever he is, he’s lucky to be there instead of in the motel room with you two fools

Because shit’s about to go down

so

The air keeps getting heavier, right?

It’s getting thicker

And it’s getting harder to breathe

And you’re starting to cough, so douxie’s like

“Ok, enough of this, let’s just open a window”

Alas

The windows don’t open

“Ok, get your stuff, let’s just go”

He goes to open the door

And the door won’t open

So he tries his magic

And that’s not working

So you try your magic

And that isn’t working either

So that sucks

So

Douxie pulls on the door for a hot minute while you’re in the corner coughing

Trying not to choke on whatever the fuck is filling the room

And while you’re trying not to hack up a lung

You whimper, slightly

And that gets all of douxie’s attention on you

He walks over and he puts his hands on his shoulders

And like

You’re both coughing and trying not to cough on each other

And he tells you that it’ll be okay

And that he’ll get you out of there

And you believe him

Because douxie would never let anything hurt you

So

He goes off to break a window while you try the door again

It

Does not work

You let go of the door and go over to douxie

And he’s still trying to break out

And you pull him away from the window

Gently, of course

He has a bit of a nosebleed, but so do you

It’s

It’s pretty clear that whatever is leaking into the room is hurting the both of you

And the longer you’re stuck there, the clearer it gets

It’s gonna kill you both

And douxie

he just

He looks so sad

And so tired

Because he is tired

He is

So tired of fighting for his life

He’s tired of always being in danger

He just

He just wanted a life with you

But of course

Something in jersey had to threaten the world

And now he won’t get to live a life with you

And you?

You’ll die right alongside him

Which, y’know, you’re slowly realizing

So

With no other real option

You just

Hug him

You bury your face in his chest and try to breathe in the smell of burnt cloves rather than whatever the fuck is filling the room

It works for a minute

But when he kisses the top of your head, you know you can’t stay there

You have to get out

You simply refuse to let him die

So

You pull away and just go ham on the door

And you might hyperventilate a little bit

Which is not. Good.

Because you don’t have that much air left

So

Douxie pulls you off of the door

Tells you to

Well

He doesn’t tell you to take deep breaths

Because there probably isn’t enough air for that

But he does take over manically fucking up every exit for you

Eventually

The two of you are sharing the burden

Trying to break out of this twisted fucking escape room

But time is running out

And eventually

Over the sound of the windows rattling

You hear him collapse

And you freeze

You turn around and run to his side

You pick him up and just

Hold him in your arms for a second

His nose is bleeding

There’s a trickle of blood coming from the corner of his mouth

For a second you think he’s dead

But he coughs, which tells you he’s

At the very least

Still capable of breathing

Although, when he coughs, he coughs up blood, so that isn’t great

But y’know what

He’s alive

And that just makes you more determined to get him out of there

So, you kiss your wizard on the forehead and you start fucking

Destroying the windows and doors

Which, i mean

You were doing already

But now you’re doing it even harder

And you almost do it

But just as the glass or wood starts to crack

Black spots fill your vision

The world goes grey

And you collapse to the ground

Not dead

But dying

[westerngirl32]

Monster School Incorrect Quotes

Includes:

Wither x Skeleton Zombie x Pigman Some random simps

Wither: Pigman isn’t answering their phone Zombie: I’ll call Wither: Skeleton and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi- Pigman: Ello?

*Zombie is cooking* Pigman: Any chance that’s for me? Zombie: It’s for Skeleton. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need them on my side. Wither: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

Zombie: Why are your tongues purple? Wither: We had slushies. I had a blue one. Skeleton: I had a red one. Zombie: oh Zombie: Zombie: OH Pigman: Pigman: You drank each other's slushies?

Zombie: I just ended a four year relationship. Pigman: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Zombie: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship. *Wither and Skeleton fighting from across the room*

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Zombie: Shit. Pigman: Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? Wither: OH MY GOD SKELETON FELL OFF!!!

Zombie: *Screams* Enderman: *Screams louder to establish dominance* Slime: Should we do something? Creeper: No, I want to see who wins.

Herobrine: Dammit, Creeper! Creeper: What?! It wasn’t me! Herobrine: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Ghast! Ghast: Not me either. erobrine: Oh...Then who set the house on fire? Wither: *whistles*

Zombie: Where's Pigman, Wither, and Skeleton? Creeper: They're playing hide and seek. Zombie: Where? Creeper: I don't think you get how this game works.

Zombie: Good morning. Pigman: Good morning. Wither: Good morning. Skeleton: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. Enderman: MORNING MOTHERF*CKERS

Zombie: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do? Ghast: Have everyone stand. Wither: Bring three more chairs! Skeleton: The most important ones can sit down. Slime: Kill three.

Skeleton: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Slime: 'Prettiest Smile' Creeper: 'Nicest Personality' Enderman: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' Zombie: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Zombie: What does “take out” mean? Slime: Food. Skeleton: Dating. Creeper: Murder. Wither and Pigman: It can be all three if you’re brave enough.

Zombie: You're a lying piece of s***! Skeleton: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Slime: I'm leaving and I'm taking Creeper with me! Enderman, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

The Squad: *walking at the mall* Zombie: Hey, have any of you guys seen Slime? They’ve been gone for a while... Enderman: Eh, nope. Skeleton: No, I haven’t... Creeper: Probably jumped off to McDonald’s or something. Slime: Hey. Zombie: Ooh, there you are- Enderman: What the fu- Creeper: I- where were you?! Slime: Walking right behind you guys.

Slime: What do you do when someone offers you drugs? Zombie: Take them! Skeleton: Punch them in the neck! Enderman: Say thank you! Creeper: Offer them more drugs to a**ert dominance! Slime: … Slime: No.

Zombie: Look guys, I need help. Skeleton: Love help? Creeper: Financial help? Enderman: Emotional help? Pigman: Help moving a body? *Everybody looks at Pigman* Pigman: What?

Enderman: Are we really going to let Wither keep Skeleton? Zombie: We kept Slime.

Wither: Anyone d- Creeper: Depressed? Ghast: Drained? Slime: Dumb? Pigman: Disliked? Wither: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...

Skeleton: You're a lying piece of s***! Enderman: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Pigman: I'm leaving and I'm taking Zombie with me! Wither, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

Herobrine: You three, explain right now! Pigman: It was Creeper. Zombie: It was Creeper. Wither: It was Creeper. Creeper: Creeper: …f***.

Skeleton: Okay! Let’s play Kiss Marry Kill! Skeleton: First who would you kill? *Zombie points at Creeper* *Wither points at Creeper* *Pigman points at Creeper* Creeper: *shrugs* I would kill me too.

Wither: Pigman's refusing to wear his glasses Pigman: Wither, look, I wore the glasses for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch. Pigman: *points to Zombie* Zombie. Pigman: *points to Skeleton* Skeleton. Pigman: *points to Creeper* Hunter. Hunter, appearing from nowhere: Whot?

Pigman: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell. Zombie, Wither, Skeleton, and Creeper: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

Pigman: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Zombie and I are dating. Zombie, Skeleton, Wither, and Creeper: *gasp* Pigman: Zombie, why are you surprised?!

Wither: How is the most beautiful person in the world? Skeleton: *blushing* I— Pigman, butting into the conversation: Zombie is perfect, thanks for asking.

Zombie: This food is too hot... I cant eat it. Pigman: You’re very hot, and I still eat you. Everyone at the table: *silence* Wither: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING! Skeleton: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

Wither: I love you. Skeleton: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that. *Wither and Skeleton kiss passionately* Zombie, to Pigman: You owe me 20 dollars.

Zombie: Truth or dare? Skeleton: Dare. Zombie: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room. Skeleton: Hey Skeletina? Some random Skeleton simp: Yeah? Skeleton: Can you move? I'm trying to get to Wither.

Pigman: That's ridiculous, Zombie doesn't have a crush on me. Skeleton: Yes he does Wither: Yes he does. Zombie: Yes I do.

Pigman: I sleep with a gun under my pillow. Zombie: I sleep with a knife. Wither: Both of you are pathetic. Pigman: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with? Wither: Skeleton.

Skeleton: Do you love Zombie? Pigman: Yeah, I do. Skeleton: Wither! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks! Wither: We all love Zombie. You should've asked if they were IN love with them. Pigman: I thought that was implied. Wither: ... Skeleton: ... Pigman, looking straight at Wither: Congrats Skeleton, you just won 100 bucks.

Wither: What do we think of Zombie? *pause* Skeleton: *sighs* Nice pal. Pigman: I think they're gay.

[incorrectrotgquotes]

valentine’s day is approaching, but so is mcdonald’s monopoly and i’ll let you guess what i’m more excited for x

Jack Frost

[lonbergwrites]

Why they changed it, I can’t say

Istanbul was Constantinople, and the Chili Cheese Burrito was the Chilito. Why they changed it, I can’t say. But it did help me meet the love of my life.

I am a child of the eighties and nineties, and a child of the fast food restaurant. I remember all of the innovations—the McDLT, mom’s favorite, with its pound of Styrofoam to keep the L and the T cold and the burger (D?) hot; the birth of the curly fry; fast food hot dogs; the invention of the wrap; the salad you shake up in the container; the death of the curly fry; the tacos that burger joints shilled and the burgers schlepped by the taco places; pizza showing up where it didn’t belong; every new flavor of shake, and sauce, and spice; the birth of the dollar menu. I remember the failed chains—Rax, more famous for their outlandishly large menus and gigantic salad bars than they were for their roast beef; One Potato Two, an honest-to-God baked potato restaurant; even Wag’s, a restaurant owned and operated by Walgreen’s pharmacies.

McDonald’s had the monopoly on toys, everybody knew that. That’s the place you conned your parents into bringing you. But the fast food chain that got me to open my Velcro wallet and spend my tiny allowance was Taco Bell. Taco Bell made me feel like a king. First off, I could afford to eat the whole menu. It was cheap. But it was also packed with the most flavor. Exotic flavor for a Midwestern kid. Flavor that scared my grandparents. It felt dangerous. All those bright colors and southwestern touches. Hot sauce on demand? Hot sauce on demand! I’d never had hot sauce before.

Oh, the times I had at Taco Bell. And my true Taco Bell love was the Chilito. Don’t remember it? I’m going to have to go Golden Girls’ Sophia on you—picture it, your local Taco Bell, nineteen eighty-I’m-feeling-very-old-these-days. You’ve ordered a magical food item called the Chilito. It is a tortilla lovingly spread with true chili—that means lots of beef and spice and no beans. No beans. That’s important. It is mounded with shredded cheese and melted just-so before being wrapped up into a chubby little burrito, perfect for any and every occasion. Chubby Little Burrito would be my nickname going into high school, and I would not like it. But I digress...

The Chilito got me through high school, but by the time I got to college, the Dark Ages had settled upon America, and Taco Bell had discontinued the Chilito. But I never forgot. Taco Bell and I had an off-again/on-again relationship after that point. It seemed like they just didn’t know what they were doing anymore—where they were going in life. Seafood salad? I mean, seriously? And then they went and took away my dessert. My Cinnamon Crispas. I swear to God, they wanted me to leave them. But I wouldn’t. I couldn’t quit my Taco Bell.

By about the time I got to grad school, the rumblings began. They were quiet at first, but I heard word through something new called The Facebook that there was a new Taco Bell menu item called the Chili Cheese Burrito. Chili. And Cheese. In a Burrito. This sounded a lot like a former friend that had been taken from me too soon, too long ago. I could barely remember its look, its smell, its taste upon my tongue. I headed down to my local Taco Bell at once.

Disaster.

The Chili Cheese Burrito was an optional, regional menu item. And I had chosen my grad school poorly, because my region didn’t buy into that “option.” I was incensed. I nearly quit grad school. I mean, I didn’t. That would be crazy. Though I did know my spring break destination that year—the nearest good Taco Bell. That would turn out to be a three hundred mile road trip away.

But again, I’m getting off track. This was supposed to be a love story. You didn’t think I was the kind of person who fell in love with inanimate objects, did you? Like I’m the guy who’d marry a menu item, just as that one guy tried to tie the knot with the Brooklyn Bridge? I’m sorry, no. That’s not this story.

After grad school I chose my next move from several available job options. The natural, and only real choice, brought me to a sensible metro area, complete with good Taco Bells. I made sure to call around before I took the job offer.

It would have been poetic to have me fall in love with the cashier that sold me that first sweet taste of Chili Cheese Burrito, right? It would have been, but it wasn’t her. But she did lead me to my true love. It was her roommate.

Sure, the cashier—Mary, she had a name—and I hooked up a little when we first met. I was drooling when I stepped into her Taco Bell. I usually drooled at the aroma coming from that place, especially in those days when our relationship was illicit and tenuous. But that day I knew my Chilito had come back to me. Oh, the expectation. The drool must have been a good look. Mary was the one who picked me up. Apparently my new corporate paycheck looked better than my old Velcro wallet, and my new convertible lease and loft apartment spoke to her. I was a little different than a lot of the other men she spent her days around.

But after the first time she took me home, her roommate caught my eye. Mary lived in a cramped little third story walkup in the old part of town. Most of her roommates were cockroaches, but there were two notable exceptions—Julie, and her dog Baxter. Julie and I hit it off right away, and Mary and I knew, honestly, that we weren’t meant to be. Julie and Baxter quickly moved in with me and Mary found a roommate in Daryl, one of the cooks from the Bell. We all hung out. It was cool.

Julie worked in one of those stock-trading-for-the-average-schmo websites and, the business being a startup, she was gone a lot. Baxter and I really bonded. We bonded over the couch, the late night television, and the newly-rebranded Chili Cheese Burrito. You know how they say that people and their pets start to look alike after a while? That wasn’t the case with Baxter and me. But we did begin to smell alike. Two people (ostensibly) and a dog in a loft apartment subsisting on mostly Chili Cheese made for a very ripe atmosphere. Julie was not pleased.

Julie and my relationship really hit the rocks when the lying began. No, I haven’t been feeding Baxter Taco Bell—of course I’d been feeding Baxter Taco Bell. Have you seen that face? He’s a good boy!

Julie, the monster, debated tossing out my Chubby Little Burrito. She thought his weight gain was due to a thyroid condition or something, and the farts—well, he was a dog after all. She thought it would be “humane” to put him down. Little did she know that many of the farts were mine. Hey, I’m no saint; we all blame the dog now and again.

Well I sent her to the farm upstate instead.

You know that silly song by They Might Be Giants? Istanbul was Constantinople? Well the Chili Cheese Burrito was the Chilito. Why they changed it, I can’t say... But I do know that I wouldn’t change a thing about how my life has turned out thus-far. Sure, I hate every minute of my job. But I never regret my decision to take it. No. Because it brought me to the land of the good Taco Bell. It reunited me with my old friend with a new name. It introduced me to my true love—Baxter. What a good boy.

What, did you think I’d been talking about Julie?

--  --  --  --

Why they changed it, I can’t say

by: B. Patrick Lonberg

Originally submitted to Taco Bell Quarterly vol. 3.

[it was rejected, and let’s be honest, where else was I going to submit this? I hope you enjoy reading it here!]

[macattackp]

10 Crazy Things Gen X,Y, and Z Have Accomplished

1. Have made sites like Google and Wikipedia widely accepted  They are not academically accepted, but considering in the 4th grade (2000-2001) the school librarian told our class “Google is useful but it will never replace a library for finding information!” I think we’ve come pretty far...

2. Have flipped retail on its head It was originally “They who had the most physical stores was the leader” but thanks to the rise of online shopping, physical store locations are now taught to be a unnecessary cost and has caused a number of franchise giants to tumble

3. Have Integrated Technology Into Daily Life In the fifth grade (2001-2002) I wrote a letter to my local MP explaining how computers could be used to save trees by saving paper, as well as give students less weight to carry with textbooks and such, and could raise accuracy in spelling and math. The response I got was that it was a nice idea, but computers were so complicated and expensive that we probably wouldn’t see this for another 30-40 years. Here we are less than 20 years later and look how far we’ve come! Side story: In the second grade (1997-1998) we were given basic calculators for $15 to learn how to use them and were told that while they were powerful, they were too expensive so we shouldn’t get used to them as the day would never come where we could just have a calculator on us at all times.

4. We Have Survived and Established Ourselves During The Great Recession The 2008 housing market crash has been bad.... We are STILL suffering from it... Companies over 100 years old have gone bankrupt... whole countries have gone bankrupt! The entire concepts of business that have been taught were flipped on its head. The great recession has been reported as being at least twice as severe as the 80′s recession and closer to the great depression from an economic standpoint. Yet here we are. If we can’t afford our own house, we’ll share one. If we can’t get a job we’ll make one. If we can’t afford things we’ll make our own. This generation is far from a comfortable one... I sometimes tear up thinking about how my “wild dream” is one day having a bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom all to myself... and how greedy I feel if I say a laundry room to myself would also be nice.... but we’re surviving! This economy is a mess with people clinging to what little they have until they die and we’re still moving forward. That is crazy.

5. We Are So Educated, We Have Made Degrees Commonplace Have you ever wondered why job requirements are so crazy? Like “Entry Level Job: Must have masters degree and 8 years experience!” It’s because of supply and demand.... So many people have university degrees, that the value of a degree on its own has bottomed out.... Yes this makes it a pain to get any kind of job.... and is INCREDIBLY rough on those without degrees... but think of how crazy that is!! How many times in history have so educated?? We may not have the value appreciated by other jobs, but think of how much we can do and understand that people before us never could! Information is power. Wisdom is steering. Understanding is direction. Just think of what we’re capable of?

6. We Have Changed Media Forever Think about how many areas of education has changed. Television has lost its monopoly due to streaming services, youtube, and livestream services. The concept of “Celebrity” has changed with social media celebrities. We’ve seen the rise of consoles with the fall of PC games, and the fall of consoles with the subsequent rise of PC games. Digital media, indie games, web comics, flash animations, deviantArt, Tumblr.... All of these things had never existed before. As a kid I used to spend hours trying to draw comics on dot matrix printer paper because I wanted to be a newspaper cartoonist when I grew up... Now with webcomics and online news, the whole industry has been flipped upsidedown. It is both incredibly accessible and incredibly difficult to stand out.

7. We Have Made The World More International I know people in Japan, Sweden, Norway, England, India, Africa, UAE, China, Australia, Holland, America, Mexico, and more places.... In fact I probably know these people more than I know the people who live on my street! The world has become incredibly international. Business has changed as you can work in real time with someone halfway around the world. Friendships have changed, as you can comfort and encourage people you’ve never met in real life. Science and History has changed, because countries that originally could only compare notes once every so often, now do so in real time, and we can see and talk about the variances between what we’ve grown up knowing.

8. We Have Changed Priorities From “The Most Stuff” to “The Most Experiences.” From “Financial Security” to “Mental Stability.” From “The Most Fame” to “The Most Impact.” The rise of arts. The rise of casual familiarity. The desire to learn. All of these priorities have changed as our generation has grown.

9. We Have Shaken Franchise Culture Franchises owned the world. The Ma and Pa shop had fallen to the names such as Walmart, Target, McDonalds, Wendy’s, etc. While franchises still exist, they seem to really be a shell of who they once were. Some franchises have even taken on the business strategy of “We will survive until I retire.” with no thoughts of what will be left afterwards. Meanwhile freelancers, entrepreneurs, startups, and online services have grown exponentially. They may not have the most money and power (yet) but there has been a change that has occured. One of which the results have yet to be fully seen.

10. We Continue to Grow Our generation puts up with a LOT. Our unemployment/underemployment rate is massive (though this is usually brushed over with statistics). The lives we’ve worked 20-some years for seems to crumble away from us. We’re forced to live 4-8 people per house due to the ridiculous prices of housing. We often work numerous jobs just to earn enough to get by. We get blamed for being entitled, lazy, and killing industries like fabric softener. (Wish I was kidding on that).... And yet we still live.... We adapt... We apply what we’ve learned. 

We can’t afford hotels, so we go AirBnB. We can’t afford designer clothes so we go to Etsy or Amazon. We can’t get funding for medical conditions or emergencies so we help each other through GoFundMe, Patreon, or more... We are tenacious. We are adaptive. We don’t give up!

It’s easy to feel like we’re powerless in this world. We don’t have much money. The news stations rail on us all the time as the world’s biggest mistake. We’re forced to work jobs we don’t want for pay that barely keeps us going... It’s easy to feel powerless, weak, forgotten.... But look back on what we’ve done... this is just a small portion, I’m sure you can think of more! These are the things the history books will remember. These are the things our children and grandchildren will one day ask us about.

We Are World Shakers!

[mourningmaybells]

Theory that X’s parents are the type of people to name their kids after things or brands, and X could be named:

Reeses peaces

Acorn

Nutella (short for Nuteleanore)

Bolt

Xkit

McDo (Tagalog abbreviation for Mcdonald’s)

Benenjerries

Apple beas

Monopoly

Screwdriver

[A science equation/experiment]

Edit: I finished season 1

Uhh

[tenpin-boleyn]

My local cinema and theatre just shut. McDonald’s monopoly is cancelled. The west end has gone dark.

College is still open x

[oohlovergirl]

Being Best Friends with Roger Would Include:

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Best Friend Female!Reader

Word count: 956

A/N: THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE!!! THANK YOU TO THE ANON WHO SENT THIS REQUEST (your messages really made me smile too!). I hope this fulfills your request! I’m probs going to write a part 2 to this since I have so many ideas. Also also: I’m still working through some of the other requests, so if you don’t see yours, dw, I’m writing it!  

You guys became friends in high school.

He was the outgoing, popular boy, and you were more of the “I hate everyone and everything in this school” kind of girl.

“I don’t get this,” he drawls with a smirk, flashing a wink to the girl sitting in the desk next to him. That was the fifth time he said that during the class period.

“Maybe a) you should stop flirting with Cindy over there b) pay attention for once and c) get your head out of your ass, and stop distracting the entire class. Then maybe you’ll start to understand the lesson,” you snap from your seat across the room. 

The whole room goes silent, and the teacher scolds you slightly (she was secretly relieved someone said something).

He whips his head towards you––and smiles. A real genuine smile. You roll your eyes and go back to doodling in your notebook.

After class, he catches up to you as you walk down the locker hallway.

“Hey, I don’t think we’ve talked that much––or even at all––but I’m Roger. Roger Taylor,” he introduces with an outstretched hand.  

Ever since that afternoon, you’ve been best friends (and inseparable) as you guys meshed surprisingly well together. 

You guys went to the same university together (where he met and introduced you to Brian).

SO MANY PRANKS ON THE OTHER BAND MEMBERS

Mostly jump scares 

Brian threw his hairbrush at you two once. (It hit Roger in the eye, and then he accidentally smacked you in the face while he reached up to clutch at his own face) 

You scared Deacy once, and you both swore to never do it again (you guys just felt so bad afterwards). 

Freddie never gets scared (it’s a bit unnerving to be honest). 

Him protecting you from the douchebags after shows.

“Hey if she said to leave her alone, leave her the fuck alone, mate.” 

“Oh––uh––I’m so sorry,” the guy stutters, not knowing you were friends with the band members. 

“Thanks, dude,” you say with a relieved grin and hug as the guy slumps away. 

You do the same for him when he gets stuck talking to someone he doesn't want to, but he doesn’t want to seem rude.

(He stares at you with pleading eyes from across the pub).

“Hey Rog, Brian told me he needed help…with something,” you say once you walk up to him, grimacing at how horrible of a liar you are. 

Roger says a quick goodbye to the now pouting girl who is now also sending you death glares as you guys walk away. 

“For someone as smart as you, you are a god-awful liar,” he snickers once you’re both out of earshot. 

“Hey! At least I got you out of there,” you say though a laugh, bumping his shoulder with yours. 

If a girl that he’s interested in/dating doesn’t like you, she’s out. 

Late night movie marathons

During Freddie’s parties, you two would hang out on the grass in the backyard and smoke. 

“Do you think penguins feel sad that they can’t fly?” 

“No….No, since they’ve never really experienced flying, yeah? So it’s not like they’ve already known the feeling of flying and suddenly lost it, right, which would make them sad…but then again, they always look like they’re trying to flap their wings…so do they want to fly???”

He doesn’t answer, already moving on to another high/drunken ramble-question, “If you were to date any type of car…which would it be?”

“What the fuck Roger.”

Always getting McDonald’s fries and chicken nuggets after every party. 

Being each other’s wing people !!! 

Always sleeping over at his house after every party.

Unless him or you brings someone home for the night. 

You guys give each other a thumbs up while the other one gets into the cab with said someone. (You roll your eyes when you see him with two big thumbs up and a goofy grin while wavering a little on the grass he’s standing on). 

Then, the morning after, you two would meet up for breakfast and talk about it. 

“She took all my briefs from my drawers before leaving!” 

You howl with laughter in the small café, causing the other patrons to glare at you over their coffee mugs. 

You visiting him on tour, shrieking when you see him and jumping into his arms at the airport. 

You guys gossiping catching up on all the new things going on in your lives while you eat room service in his hotel room. 

You guys ALWAYS having brunch the day after he comes back home from a tour, going to your guys’ favorite coffee shop near your house. 

You always get the waffles (with extra whipped cream and a side of berries), and he always gets the full breakfast fry up. 

You always having to give him advice with girls.

“For someone who has such a reputation with girls, you really are clueless,” you say with a scoff. 

After a particularly nasty breakup, you call him immediately, and he comes rushing over with sweets and snacks before cutting your now ex completely out of his life (he knew them, too).

Him sleeping over because you don’t want to be alone. 

The tabloids always mistaking you two as a couple.

Queen’s Roger Taylor Eats Lunch with a MYSTERY WOMAN: WHO COULD IT BE???

Both of you loving all sorts of board games, you two get especially heated when playing Monopoly. 

But then you help each other cheat when you play Scrabble with the other band members.  

Him buying you all sorts of knick-knacks/souvenirs from all the different countries he’s traveled to. 

Lots of “Roger, don’t do that”’s.

Permanent taglist: @thefirstkillerqueen @hysterical-queen-trash

[summoner-stones]

MASTERLIST UPDATED 4/7/19

Masterlist containing every prompt I’ve made so far all in alphabetical order! For a total of 193 prompts!

Alfonse

Fluff

Insecure Summ

Unrequited Feelings for Summ

Snuggle Headcanons

Why would anyone like me?

Summ flirting

Alf walking on shirtless m!Summ

Making up after a fight

Henriette catching Alf and Summ acting as couple

Summ gets injured in battle

First Fight

Gustav catching Alf and Summ acting as a couple

Doting Summ

Summ x M!Summ (SMUT)

Secret Admirer F!Summoner

Summ makes Alf chocolate

Alf gets relationship advice from Sigurd, Chrom, Hector and Eliwood

Alf x f!Summoner (SMUT)

Alf gets jealous over the gifts f!Summoner gets

Alf gets chocolates just for him

Modern!Au with Alf and M!Summ

Angst: Summoner runs away from Alfonse

Summoner sticking up for Alfonse

Summoner with stomach aches

Alphabet Ask

More Fluff Alphabet Ask

Yandere HC’s

Unrequited Alfonse dealing with Summ’s S/O

trans male Summoner w/support from Alfonse

Walking in on F!Summoner bathing

Loki disguising as Summ to tease Alfonse

Summoner comforting Alfonse after seeing dead Gustav

Hel cursed Alfonse yelling at f!summoner

Partners in Crime

Happily Married Couple

Friends with Benefits (suggestive content)

Summ comforting grieving Alfonse

April Fool’s Prompt: Summ screaming out Homer Simpson

Ghost Rumors in the castle

Alfonse Injury Recovery

Drabble: Kiralfonse Raffle

King Alfonse x F!Summoner f*** on the throne (SMUT)

Alfonse kissing disguised Summoner Loki

Summoner listening to Alfonse’s heartbeat

Summoner and Alfonse get injured in battle, Alfonse carries them to medical tent

Vampire Summoner

Alfonse proposing

Summoner with bad nightmares

Flirty Summ confessing

Jealous Alf because Summ hangs out with Marth, Ike, and Chrom

Shy Summoner

Lovestruck Alfonse blurting the truth to the Summoner

Alm

Ask Game

Anna

Betting Pool on who gets with Summoner

Valentine’s Confession

Summoner who’s good with money

Askr Trio

Possessed Summ

F!Summ dealing with period

Askr Trio help with math exams and studying

Askr Trio reacting to modern items

Summoner with bad habit of bottling up emotions

Helping a disabled Summoner

Trio babysit Summoner

Azura

Azura confessing to M!Summoner

Bruno

Join the Order

Bruno confesses to Summoner

Fluffy Bruno x Summoner

Camilla

Ask Game

Chrom

Chrom is Summ’s Secret Admirer

Clair

Summoner x Clair HC’s

Corrin

M!Summ falling for Adrift Corrin

F!Corrin with Insecure Summ

M!Summ cheering M!Adrift Corrin in VG

M!Adrift Corrin cheering up sad Summ

F!Corrin confessing

Love Letter from Adrift M!Corrin

M!Corrin cheering up F!Summ over VG

F!Corrin with M!Summoner that couple who won’t admit that they like each other, but obviously do

Duma

Summoner petting Duma’s horns

Eir

Falls for the Summoner

Summoner x Eir Fluff HC’s

Elise

Summoner sibling-like

Eliwood

Eliwood crush on Summoner HC

Eliwood going to McDonald’s

Ephraim

F!Summ overworking herself

Ask Game

Reacting to flirty Summoner

Gaius

Summoner with candy addiction

Gaius confessing to Summoner

Indirect candy kiss

Grima

Headcanons w/Summ

M!Grima falling for M!Summ

Summoner with bad nightmares

M!Grima with insomniac Summoner

M!Grima fighting over a shy summoner

Hector

Crush on Summ

Helbindi

Summ gives Helbindi spicy chocolates

Henry

Summoner and Henry make chocolates

Ask Game

Hrid

Why would anyone like me?

Smol Summoner intimidated by Hrid

Summoner’s Hands are cold as icicles

Inseparable Sweethearts

Ask Game

Trans Male Summoner w/Hrid

Love Letter

Confession to M!Summoner

HC’s with small and feisty M!Summoner

Vampire Summoner

First Date

Ike

Insecure Summ

F!Summoner asking Ike to stay the night

Summoner self-conscious over scars

Berserk Ike with F!Summ

Summoner doesn’t want to go home

Innes

That couple who won’t admit that they like each other, but obviously do

Jakob

Insecure Summ

Ask Game

Kaze

Crush on Summ

Keaton

Ask Game

Kliff

Star-crossed lovers

Lazlow

Crush on Summ

Lif

Secret Admirer with sad Summ

Lissa

Prank War

Lewyn

Inseparable Sweethearts M!Summ

Leo

Insecure Summ

Insomniac Summoner

Love Confession

Romantic HC’s with unskilled Summ

Lon’qu

Confesses to F!Summoner in gardens

Reacting to flirty Summoner

Lon’qu going to Mcdonald’s

Lyon

Lyon gives Summ chocolates

Naesala

Vampire Summoner

Nowi

Summoner Sibling-like

Odin

Crush on Summ

Owain

M!Summ S/O HC’s

Peri

Romantic HC’s

Raven

Raven going to Mcdonald’s

Reinhardt

Summoner shaving Rein’s mullet

Reinhardt Fluff

Reinhardt going to McDonald’s

Buenos Dias Reinhardt

Summoner comforting Rein over mullet

Reyson

Summ tending for wounded Reyson

Rhajat

Fluff with F!Summ

Rhajat tricking others

Robin

Platonic Friendship HC’s

M!Grima and M!Robin fighting over a shy summoner

M!Robin pining over F!Summ

Monopoly.

Roy

Parent and Child

Ryoma

Small Summ with smart mouth

Insecure Summ

Birthday Hc’s

Love Letter

Soft HC’s

Sais

Monopoly

Seliph

Proposing to Summoner

Sharena

Valentines’s Confession

Shigure

Waiter!Shigure

Sigurd

Roomates

Silas

F!Summoner gives Silas Valentine’s Gift

Ask Game

F!Summ teasing Silas (SMUT)

Soleil

Reacting to flirty Summoner

Soren

Won’t admit they like each other

Monopoly

Takumi

Insecure Summ

Takumi confessing

Ask Game

Takumi learns Uno

Takumi plays rhythm game

Tibarn

Vampire Summoner

More Vampire Summ

Even more Vampire Summ

Tibarn hugs

Tibarn interupted by both Grima’s 

Veronica

Join the Order

Xander

Insecure Summ

Why would anyone like me?

Insomniac Summoner

Thirsty f!Summ

Birthday HC’s

Summoner doesn’t want to go home

Human FEH x Xander

Zelgius

Smoll summoner confessing

Small F!Summoner wearing lingerie (suggestive)

Love Letter

Ask Game

Future Daughter

Summoner calling Zelgius Dad

Summoner doesn’t want to go home

[settolow]

Liars (Jay Park x reader)

Strangers Pt. III

Type: Angst

Word count: 1,510

Characters: reader, Jay Park

Author’s Note: Hello! This is the third part of the story. Thank you so much for appreciating the first two parts. I am utterly grateful whenever I see that you guys took some time to support the story. If you enjoy this part and want part 4, please like or leave a comment. Thank you!

................................................................................................................................

You kept starring at your phone screen, hoping to receive a message from your boyfriend with a plausible excuse for what happened. You knew you couldn’t forbid him from meeting his friends and you halfheartedly accepted the fact that his ex was one of them. However, her answering his phone so comfortably felt like a huge betrayal for you. It didn’t matter how much you trusted him, that night a line had been crossed and you didn’t know how to deal with it.

You stared at the clock on your wall, mentally counting the minutes until Jay’s arrival. The ten minutes he claimed to need have passed a long time ago by the time you heard a knock on your door. You made your way towards it, ready to tell Jay that nearly an hour has passed when you saw him standing at your door, dressed in pajamas while holding a bag of McDonald’s in a hand and a simple plastic bag in the other one.

You remained in the doorway staring at him, mouth slightly agape.

“The Jay you ordered is delivered, my lady,” he smiled and made his way past you inside the house.

“Are there…are there Nuggets?”

“Yeah. The big pack thingy. And I also got some booze from home since conversations about relationships and cheating and all that crap gets really emotional.”

Almost out of reflex you closed the door, waited for him to set everything on the table and threw your arms around his neck engulfing him in a hug. His arms encircled your waist and slightly rose you from the ground, making it probably the best and highly needed hug you’ve ever had. There was nothing sexual about it, just two people having a moment of mutual understanding which you didn’t know Jay was capable off.

You two enjoyed each other’s warmth for a little longer until he put you down.

“Girl, you didn’t send any impulsive messages, did you?” He asked you suspiciously.

“Nope.”

“Good. Call him again and this time don’t hang up when the chick answers.”

Nodding, you grabbed your phone from the kitchen counter dialed your boyfriend’s number once again. It took about three rings until the same female voice answered the phone. This time they were no longer in a crowd.

“Hello,” she greeted through the speaker.

“Hi. Hello. May I please know if the owner of this phone is still alive?”

There was a short silence at the end of the other line until the girl finally answered.

“Uhm, yes. He’s in the bathroom.”

“Amazing. He won’t be after I’m done with him. Put him on the phone.”

“Who is this?” The girl asks in an annoyingly high-pitched voice.

“Tell him Y/n wants to talk to him.”

Did he not have my number saved? You thought. Was he playing us both?

The conversation is followed by another short silence until you started to hear shuffling sounds from the other line. Less than a few seconds later your boyfriend’s voce could be heard through the speakers.

“Y/n I’m not cheating on you if that’s what you think,” he said desperately. “You have to listen to me.”

“Oh, I didn’t think you were cheating on me. I thought you were playing Monopoly.”

“Y/n, we’re just working on a project!”

“Ok. Have fun working on the project. I think I’ve had enough in those 5 months of relationship.” You retorted, hanging up the phone.

Meanwhile, Jay was slouched on your armchair, a Nugget in a hand and a bottle of champagne in the other. “That was, like, the driest breakup I’ve ever seen. No tears, no curse words, no phone fighting. What was that?”

You took a pillow from the couch and pretended to throw it in his direction.

“Wait, wait! This champagne expensive.”

“Let me taste it,” you requested as you made your way towards him.

“No, that’s mine. I bought that for you,” he motions towards the cupboard where an unopened bottle of vodka was placed.

“Really, Jay?”

“What? Isn’t Vodka the international drink for bad ass bitches who dump guys like it’s their hobby?”

“You just made that up so you won’t have to share, you little phlegm!”

He started laughing at your indignation, clearly enjoying the situation.

“But seriously now,” his face suddenly became devoid of any amusement, “I think you were too good for that guy. You need somebody who’s never going to put themselves in a position to lose you. Doesn’t matter if he did cheat or not. Hanging out with his ex was a shady thing to do. You did the right thing.”

He stood up from the armchair and made his way to the kitchen from where he came back with two glasses.

“It’s time to have fun. I didn’t see your boyfriend before, but his voice seemed like he was ugly,” Jay commented which made you laugh out loud. Of course, your now ex-boyfriend was nowhere near as attractive as Jay Park, but who was honestly?

You two started drinking and watching a Netflix series you both enjoyed immensely. Being with Jay made you forget about how messed up the situation you were in actually was. Your phone kept buzzing and ringing, indicating the arrival of a bunch of text messages.

By the time your phone rang for the third time, both you and Jay rose from the sofa and grabbed it. Before you could hit the reject button, Jay grabbed it from your hand and accepted the call.

“Talk to him,” he muttered with a mischievous expression on his face.

Frowning at him and mentally cursing his stupid decision, you brought the phone to your ear.

“What is it now?” You asked but the response became a blur when Jay’s hand started caressing the inside of your thigh. You felt your breath hitch in your throat when you felt it go upwards without any sign of him stopping. You tried to shift on the couch so his hand will drop from your thigh, however, Jay seemed absolutely set on finishing what he had planned.

“—really sorry if—” was the only thing you understood from the last phrases your ex was relentlessly explaining “—just a friend—.”

You closed your legs tightly, making it impossible for Jay to continue his sudden assault. However, your gesture only gave him other ideas. You let out a moan as his lips caressed your neck, his hand still strapped between your thighs.

“Y/n, are you alright?” You ex asked out of a sudden.

“S-sure. I just stubbed my toe.”

“That’s funny,” he laughed, “because you sounded as if you were moaning.”

Suddenly you felt Jay hover over you, making you lean back on the sofa. His lower body was pressed against yours allowing you to feel just how much he was enjoying the game. He bit down on the sensitive skin on your neck, making you lose your concentration completely.

Out of a sudden, jay grabs the phone from your hand, bringing it to his ear. “Hello. Here is Jay Park aka Mr. Steal Your Girl’s panties. Y/n is busy right now, fam. Let me do my job and make her only remember my name.”

As soon as he finished his spontaneous speech, Jay hung up the phone letting out a laugh he had been probably stifling. He stood up from the couch, letting you recompose yourself which was kind of disappointing since you were ready to rip your clothes off and push him towards your bedroom.

“What the hell was that?” You asked incredulously.

“Me helping you demonstrate that you do no give a fuck about his cheating ass? Chill, I know we’re just friends”

Liar.

Guess I’m a liar too because I don’t believe it either.

“And how did you do that? If anything, he probably thinks I’m a hoe.” And I’m also really hot and bothered right now, thanks to you.

“I think I helped you show him that your life moves on even after he betrayed you. You found somebody waaaay better,” he stated proudly.

“Aw,” you cooed, “does big baby man Jay need a compliment?”

“That too, but mainly I need you too let me crash at your house tonight since I can’t drive home.”

“No problem,” you smiled lust still clouding both his and your eyes.

Keeping this friendship thing is tuning out to be harder than I thought.

As the weeks passed, you kept hanging out with Jay whenever you two had time. Sometimes you felt as if he was ready to confess and you were eager to hear those words from his mouth. However, what you were not expecting was for him to message you one day, saying that his ex-girlfriend wanted to meet up.

His ex as in the only girl he fell in love with.

The girl his stupid song entitled ‘The Truth Is’ was about.

And that crushed your heart to pieces.  

To be continued in part 4…

Part I (Strangers)

Part II (Friends)

••••••••••••••••••••Part IV ••••••••••••••••••••••

..............................................................................................................................

[robotslenderman]

I’ve just spent the evening being my parents’ entertainment while we all figure out the logistics of a trip I’m taking in six weeks that I had no idea I was taking in six weeks until mum asked me when I was taking it and I realised “OH SHIT IT’S IN SIX WEEKS”

SO the internet was down (again) today (the joys of an internet monopoly where Telstra can now make a killing off mobile internet and have zero financial incentive to get their shit together, thank you Libs!) so naturally my parents and I turned our hotspots on and congregated in the lounge room on our tablets because none of us can use our desktops. Bro, meanwhile, took a sleeping tablet and knocked himself out so he can sleep through the internet outage.

this is what my family has become.

The wine program my parents watched was a lot shorter than they expected so they had nothing to do after dinner. Mum and I get to talking about the uni exams, then uni itself, and I’m like “oh yeah next trimester I have to go up to the uni do the intensive school, I’ve put it off for as long as I can but yeah.”

“damn, when is it?”

“pretty sure it’s in April”

“can you check?”

“Yeah, sure -- oh, fuck, it’s in six weeks!”

see

I’m a distance learner so I do uni at home. the actual uni is up the coast, and for the intensive schools I’ll eventually have to go up to the university two or three times a semester to pass the unit. for Americans, imagine if you live in Vermont and have to go down to New York City a few times a year. It’s a road trip, basically. A six hour drive of a whole lot of nothing, because once you get out past Newcastle it’s just... bush, bush, and more bush until you get to Coff’s Harbour.

(I remember my Californian road trips being very confusing to us Aussies because “we’re in San Diego” “wtf, we haven’t even left LA yet?” “nope this is definitely San Diego” 

because it was basically non stop towns and cities all the way down the coast except for, like, a thirty minute segment of the trip. 

Australia is not like that. Road trips are 70% trees, 20% more trees, 4% somebody’s fields where you’re looking for cows, 4% of you finding the cows, 1% a random McDonalds in the middle of nowhere and 1% civilisation. Australian road trips are super boring because trees are only interesting for ten fucking minutes and the landscape on this side of the Blue Mountains does not fucking change at all, it is the same trees all up the coast.)

also, have I mentioned I have not saved up at all for this trip because I thought it was in April?

because I haven’t

at all

so my parents are bailing me out there O O P S.

SO cue me becoming that evening’s entertainment as my father whips out his phone and we spend the next two hours weighing up the logistics. Oh, hey, where should I stay? I’m pretty sure there was an option that had dinner included -- oh, nope, the college that includes dinner and breakfast is closed for the summer so it’s just the other colleges. How much is that per night? Oh, there’s only three options and they all cost the same, but they do have kitchens. Oh cool, we’ll make you a goody bag of noodles. Sweet, I’ll have the traditional college experience of living on noodles! Oh don’t worry, we’ll throw in some cup-a-soups as well, you can cook anything if you have a microwave. can I have some brown rice? yes you can have some brown rice, you strange freaky child.

Then we start muttering to each other about transport. Can Dusty drive? Well, Dusty won’t have her license by then. Well, actually, now the school holidays are over I’m cramming as many lessons as I can and will try to take the test within 4 weeks at the most. Oh good, so you’ll have your Ps, but you’ll be driving up there alone and six hours is a long fucking drive to take by yourself, let alone when you’ve been on your Ps for all of a month at most. Hmm, okay (this is Dad, now, who’s been silent on his phone for ten minutes throughout the transport discussion), there’s only X amount of flights and one of them is at 6AM I think that’s too early, etc etc. 

So then we spend about an hour going on about plane flights before we all spontaneously, by silent agreement, drop that like a hot potato and go on about train tickets instead, where it turns out they’re like a sixth of the price of plane tickets. Dad and I spend about ten minutes talking Mum around on taking a train instead because it’s an eight hour trip and she said I’d be bored silly, and the plane trip is like five fucking minutes. but, like, I have a ton of books, a shitton of robot comics, a bunch of games and more on my tablet, and a couple of backup batteries so eight hours pissing around on my tablet is nothing for me, pretty much

(brief interlude as my parents snicker because back in their day if they were stuck on a train for eight hours, they could only take a book or two and that was all they got!)

so my mother’s like “yeah she’ll be fine” in that “oh, millennials are adorable” voice that old people sometimes get when they forget technology has advanced since the 70s.

And then cue the rest of the evening spent discussing train times like they’re absolutely fascinating, like the boring adult I have become, before Mum decides it is time for bed. Partway through a story where Dad’s telling me about the “box of rocks” that used to heat trains out in Broken Hill, where he spent his uni years, Mum comes back into the room with a plastic eyepatch and some tape and makes noises at Dad to tape her patch on, because she had cataract surgery yesterday and she has to wear it to bed for a week.

So, uh, yeah, I’m taking a couple of 8hr train trips for uni at the end of next month. Yay?