#monogamous people are fucking insane especially in fandoms

[jilted-love]

Okay so I'm just going to post a rant about my experience in ORV shipping fandom. This probably does not have to be said but I avoided this fandom for a while because I hated it and I hated the harassment I got on Twitter from Joongdok shippers. And now I just want to talk about it so I can hopefully get back into ORV and get this over with.

After my negative experiences with some Joongdok shippers, now I only ship Kim Dokja in a polyamorous all genders way. He is not gay for me, he is pan or bi or aro or ace. Or all of that at the same time, I don't give a fuck as long as he is not a monosexual guy that mono shippers want to gatekeep. Because the alternative is uncomfortable to me after I got harassed for not agreeing with Joongdok shippers.

Joongdok shippers harassed me because I did not agree with these characters being gay and jealous towards the female characters being shipped with them. Joongdok shippers are so monogamously possessive in their shipping that they treat other shippers badly out of a sense of possessiveness that they project unto the characters. They're also overdramatic with permanent top or bottom sex positions to the point of getting angry against Dokhyuk fans. That entitlement ruined the fandom for me.

I got so pissed at Joongdok shippers that I can't ship them anymore unless it's polyamorous with Sooyoung, Sangah, Heewon, Hyunsung, Seolhwa. I've written fics all about polyamorous Dokja being loved by all of them and not a single monogamous Joongdok.

I ship Dokja with multiple characters of different genders as a versatile switch who can fuck and will get fucked because he is an opportunistic hedonistic guy. Joongdok shippers hate that and went out of their way to dogpile on me. And nobody stops these Joongdok shippers because almost all of them are like this.

I really hate it that I lost interest in ORV because Joongdok shippers ruined ORV and also Joongdok for me.

[redfirerai]

It’s only been 5 episodes and the iwtv fandom is already a shithole.

First off, the fifth episode SHOULD have had a trigger warning; I agree on that fact. This is not to say that the writers poorly wrote this episode/ made Lestate OOC because, after having watched the episode, I honestly don’t find it surprising that show Lestat would do something like this. It makes sense; he only loved Claudia because Claudia is both loveable and an extension of Louis. Lestat has shown an incredibly large capacity for violence and cruelty. He is not a good person. He is not a hero and he only cares about being Louis’ top priority. But some of you are acting like it wasn’t jarring to watch. As much as I love Hannibal, this is an extremely different situation from the finale of season 2. Louis and Lestat were in a relationship. They were functionally MARRIED. They were never perfect, but this was never even hinted as happening. He’s not had any previous slips with harming Louis or Claudia so people have every right to be shocked.

Second of all, some of you people are acting like Louis and Lestat are equally abusive towards each other, and that is 100% false and reeks of racism. Every moment that Louis rejected or hurt Lestat was always in reaction to Lestat. He was recently human and his current disposition as a fledgling comes with all of his humanly attachments. He cares about his family. His brother died which permanently destroyed his relationship with his mother. His sister became alienated. He was being targeted from every angle for being a black, gay man who dared to move up the social ladder. It’s like half of you blanked out for most of episode two/three until you heard the words “this is why you’ll always be alone,” leave Louis’ mouth. At the very moment he needed humanity and support from the one person he was risking everything for, he was met with complete apathy to his struggles. Not only does Lestat completely misunderstand Louis’ core—the very foundation and set of rules that form his values—he want Louis in a way that is not possible. Louis is a monogamous man that craves family structure—louis is fundamentally a different creature. And that’s okay. That is the story and I’m fully on board to be entranced by its beauty and suffering. But getting mad on behalf of Lestat? Justifying literally any of his actions towards Louis is fucking insane. If he wasn’t conventionally attractive or white, this wouldn’t even be a topic of conversation. You can like him—I absolutely love TV show Lestat for being this unhinged, devoted, and brutal. But don’t fucking twist the canonical story of the TV show to justify the Lestat you head-cannoned in your brain. People do this; this is very real behaviour. Love-bombing and isolating is part of toxic relationships. Many abusers seem like perfectly loving people until things don’t go their way. Seeing only the sacrifices Lestat made for Louis is ignoring the time, context, and attachments Louis had to his human life. I am not saying Louis is an angel, but he definitely is not the abuser in the relationship

Lastly, Claudia’s implied SA is completely unnecessary to the story and her journey as a character. There was no need to do this to her; she could have arrived at the world being a cruel place without this.

On a side note, I don’t have qualms with her character writing but I do see what people are saying about how she didn’t need to see Louis being half beat to death to want to k*ll Lestat. That is probably the only criticism I agree with when it comes to the writing of that scene. I would have loved to see her and Lestat be at eachother’s throats because that was already implied. And Louis, as a father, is justified in choosing Claudia over Lestat, especially when there’s enough abuse already. Again, I don’t think the scene at the end of season 5 was bad/OOC per se, but I don’t think it was completely necessary.

[gardenerian]

hello mel! first time shameless viewer here 👋

i've currently got to season 11, and i've heard opinions about it after watching the first episode. is it okay if i ask about this here? or maybe there's already a good post talking about this or another blog?

my question is: thoughts on the porch/monogamy scene? to me, it seems like they would stay monogamous later on but i feel like (based off past seasons) they would want to be monogamous?

hopefully i'm making some sense and using the right words lol

well hello! welcome welcome 🥰 you’ve made to s11, congrats! you have suffered all kinds of shameless fan trials, and there are still more to come 😅 we’re here for you! 

lordy boy howdy…… they really hit the ground running with the batshit insanity in s11 didn’t they? this is right off the bat! we last saw these fuckers get married and now - whoops, time to have a conversation we probably should have had a long time ago! 

now - i was actually pretty down for the idea that the season would be about them working through what marriage means to them. the execution, however, was….. flawed, to put it diplomatically. IT HAD GOOD BONES, THOUGH. SORT OF. THEY SHOULD HAVE CALLED ME.  anyways. 

idk if this is the consensus. the consensus, actually, is that s11 is fake asdkfh BUT here’s what i think:

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY WANTED FROM ME. 

did mickey honestly misspell monogamy? 

did he write non-monogamy just bc he thought ian would?

did he write non-monogamy bc he wanted to fuck other people?

did he not write anything?

i know what i would think… but WHAT DID THE WRITERS WANT ME TO THINK? i don’t know and that’s a failing on their part! 

now……. i think that scene was a pretty big disservice to mickey. it makes him look like a fucking idiot, which we know he’s not! ian laid it out there, and it makes sense to me. they are working this out.

monogamy was not always so important to them. different characters place varying degrees of value in the idea throughout the series - including ian and mickey.

in some moments, it really matters to ian. in others, it means more to mickey. plus, monogamy doesn’t always mean the same thing to them! their own definitions of it change! by now, they are older, more secure, and committed. and here in this part in their relationship, i would imagine that they’d largely be on the same page. 

what that page is……. is not the same to everyone in the fandom. and that’s okay! 

many think that ian and mickey have spent enough time distracting themselves with other people. that they would not be able to share each other, or be willing to be with other people in any circumstance. that at this point, they would not indulge in this kind of thing. i get that, and that’s okay! 

others think that as long as communication is open, ian and mickey might be able to experiment within their own boundaries. that, especially as they grow in this phase of their relationship, they might, on occasion, explore something together. i get that, and that’s okay! 

or maybe they’re all out swingers askdjfh KIDDING GOD NO ONE COME FOR ME

personally, i can be swayed either way. much like with last night’s talk about Going Out, i think there is room for nuance here. i also think that anyone is welcome to their own interpretation. what’s important to me is that they TALK. that they EXPRESS their NEEDS and tell each other what they WANT. and come to A MUTAL UNDERSTANDING! they have……. so much sexual trauma between them. more than anything, i want to see them safely decide what’s best for them! 

isn’t that what we all want in the long run? 🥰

on that cheery note..... welcome to the family!

[scalesandredroses]

Love is Blind is the new AU I have always wanted for every fandom I've ever been in. It's almost* perfect. It has:

Blind dating (literally!), so falling in love as though penpals or over the phone

Romance under weird constraints and expectations

PINING. SO much fucking pining before proposal day.

...which leads (in some cases) to SO much UST

...which leads (in those same cases) to very resolved ST (in some cases more than others *coughAmbercough*)

Intense focus on rooting out doubts and working through arguments

...because there is a deadline to their arrangement, which could end in unhealable heartbreak if they fuck up

Having to be insanely open and frank about what you're thinking and feeling, first because your partner can't read your body language or expressions, second because you're both on that deadline

Some aspects of arranged marriages, if you squint, because so much about their weddings is outside their control and a lot of them have this "But I need to marry someone!" vibe

...but also the whole "You're not who I thought you were" thing that can happen once they're together in person, even though they know they fell in love with that person, so the person they love is in there somewhere and they feel compelled to root them out again

Potential for fake dating for the cameras (*coughJessicacough*)

...or at least introducing that reason to doubt your partner

...or the potential to agree to fake date, but end up actually falling in love

Every contestant makes themselves out to be lonely, desperate, and out of options, making me instantly empathize with them as well as adding to the stress of finding and holding on to their unlikely someone —

— And let's not forget the potential for extremely unlikely someones to fall in love, since everything is sight-unseen and there's such a weird confessional, doesn't-count vibe to dating in the pods

...so it's also vaguely bubble-fic territory, especially during the two weeks of no phones

Surprise relationship announcements to everyone you've ever known

...leading to the potential for that beautiful cocktail that is feeling defensive of your choice in partner while doubting if they're the one

It's a bunch of monogamy-minded people trying to make monogamous relationships work, not forcing monogamy-minded people into some lopsided polygamous dating situation that makes them all miserable

...but there's still the potential for love triangles so you have a little doubt who will pair off

...only we know that's a lie because of tagging practices, though that often doesn't stop good writers from making you doubt so much that you scroll up and check

It's just basically my catnip in so many ways. (These are them. These are the ways.)

*They just need to sort out some format issues to accomodate non-heternormative dating.

[twistedstorm]

All of the questions for the most recent ask meme you reblogged. The one you said in the tags you really liked.

Oh your god I love you dear anon for sending this! 

Here we go:

1. What are your nicknames? What do you prefer to be called? Sassy, Champ, sissy, princess, sweetie pie, sarwhale, about a million others because most of my family uses nicknames for me. In real life I mostly go by Sarah or Seth but as you know on here I go by Zeta and prefer Ze or ZZ to anything else and honestly if it wasn’t for the fact that almost nobody in my real life would call me ZZ or Zeta I would go by those names in real life too probably. 

2. What books on your shelf are begging to be read? The entire Infernal Devices series, Styxx, Mark of Athena, Born of Fire, Magnus Chase, about a hundred more…

3. How often do you doodle? What do your doodles look like? I doodle constantly. My doodles vary from little stick figure comics to weird shapes to just various lines filling up empty spaces and weird hearts and coffins and skulls and eyes…a lot of eyes….I really like eyes…oh and a tiny demon smiley face thing that I’ve been drawing forever.  

4. What do you do if you can’t sleep at night? Do you count sheep? Toss and Turn? Try to get up and do something productive? Well if I’m being honest I read, watch movies, imagine elaborate dream scenarios, or masturbate. Any combination of those four usually puts me to sleep. If none of those work I get up and get dressed and eat because there’s no point in trying after all that. 

5. How many days could you last in solitary confinement? How would you do it? Probably about four, if I had my ipod I could last at least seven. I’d just daydream or write and listen to music and dance and talk to myself or my characters in my head until I got bored, it’d be the boredom that drove me crazy honestly. 

6. Do you save old greeting cards and letters? Throw them away? I’m a sentimental pack rat so I save everything from movie tickets to pressed flowers to paper wristbands to gift tags. I have most of my old birthday/Christmas cards from after I turned 10 just in random places all over my room. 

7. Who is the biggest pack rat you know? Me, my grandma is a close second though. 

8. When making an entrance in to a party, do you make your presence known? Do you slip in and look for someone you know? Do you sneak in quietly and find a safe spot to roost? I don’t go to parties much but the few I’ve been to I always arrive with a friend and then stick to them like glue for the rest of the night or hiding in a corner texting someone about how I wanna go home…or if I’m drinking I end up dancing and befriending people by accident because drunk/tipsy me is funny and sometimes flirty (as long as a I keep my clothes on I’m happy though) 

9. What is your strongest sense? If you had to give one up, which would it be? Probably hearing or smell I’d say. I actually have really sensitive ears and can hear insanely high frequencies (like dog whistles) and I can pick up tiny little bits of smells for a long time (especially when I’m really hormonal, hormones make it so much worse. Seriously if it’s shark week I can smell everything and I will end you if you smell like something awful and you stand near me) although I’m allergic to body sprays and perfume and anything like that which really sucks….Anyway if I had to lose a sense….I can’t pick one….sorry but the idea of losing one really messes with my head so I’m not gonna think about it.. 

10. How many times a day do you look at yourself in the mirror? Lots….I used to do it to pint out my flaws to myself but now it’s usually because I think I look good and I like to see it to remind myself that I’m gorgeous just the way I am 

11. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child? That there was a tiny leprechaun in the vent in my bathroom ceiling….That’s the weirdest thing I can think of right now but there was probably weirder ones honestly….wait I know! I believed I was a straight monogamous cis girl for a really long time as a kid! That’s pretty weird for me seeing as how none of those things were right at all! 

12. What is one guilty pleasure you enjoy too much to give up? Boyband/Cheesy pop music and the Twilight movies/books, I love them and I will always love them no matter how awful and stupid they are. 

13. Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know? I dunno….my mom’s pretty good about that stuff….but so are most of my friends….yeah I can’t pick so my mom and my friends all tie for it 

14. How often do you read the newspaper? Which paper? Which sections? Never

15. Which animals scare you most? Why? Geese or flying insects or Goliath birdeater tarantulas or tiny spiders because every time I see any of these I am convinced that I am going to die and it will be because of them. 

16. Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on? Both but avoidance is slightly more likely as I am afraid of conflict to the very core of my being and am bad at facing it unless I’m facing it for someone else’s sake.  

17. What was the most recent compliment you’ve received and savoured? I dunno….one of my best friends told me he missed hanging out with me and that made me almost cry because I’m a big fucking nerd so there’s that one…I could think of more but I’mma just say that one for now

18. What is something about yourself that you hope will change, but probably never will? I’m still hoping for pyro or hydro kinesis or shapeshifting….or the ability to have a backbone and talk about my feelings like a properly functioning human

19. Are you a creature of habit? Explain. Yes, I like my routines and I get really weird without them and will probably do them until I die

20. Are you high maintenance? Explain. I genuinely dunno, like maybe? Maybe not? I dunno

21. When was the last time you really pushed yourself to your physical limits? When I walked for nearly three hours out of boredom and my calves hurt so bad that I could barely stand anymore like four days ago 

22. Do you have a whole lot of acquaintances or just a few very close friends? Why? I have a small group of carefully chosen friends and many acquaintances but I prefer my small friend group because I like small groups and my friends are my favorite people on earth so I justreally love being with them. 

23. Are you more inclined to “build your own empire” or unleash the potential of others? Both probably, like yeah I could probably take over the world alone but I’d be bored and lonely and it’d be so much easier and so much more fun with my nerds beside me 

24. What’s a strange occurrence you’ve experienced but have never (or rarely) shared with anyone? I share my weird experiences with everyone honestly so I can’t really think of anything…I guess I could go with the thing where sometimes the air from my fan in my room will hit my hears wrong and it always sounds like a creepy voice saying my name and it terrifies me so much that I sleep with a blanket over my ears so I don’t have to ever deal with it again. 

25. What do you think about more than anything else? Right now it’s love/relationships/friendships. Specific to two people actually. I think about the possibilities for me and those two people and our relationships with each other and others and how everything is gonna work out and what I can do to help everything work out well and if we’re gonna be happy one day. Oh and how happy we’ll be if it works out the way I’m hoping because even my tarot cards say that it’s gonna be good :) 

26. What’s something that amazes you? How much me and my life has changed in just the last year and how much more it;s gonna change in the coming times

27. Do you prefer that people shoot straight with you or temper their words? Why? I’d rather people shoot straight with me, I can handle painful truth but I cannot deal with lies or sugar coating. Just say you’ve got to say and we’ll deal with it after. 

28. Where’s your favourite place to take an out-of-town guest? I have never had an out of town guest so I don’t know

29. What’s one thing you’d rather pay someone to do than do yourself? Why? My laundry, I hate it. It’s tedious and boring and I loathe doing it. 

30. Do you have a catchphrase? I have a few actually: “So that happened” “I’ll eviscerate you with a shrimp fork” “Go fuck a cactus/ Get fucked by a cactus” “I’m not drunk enough for this” “In other news/On an unrelated note/wanna hear something weird” “I am a child” “The last living thing inside of me just died” “He can’t help you now” in response to anyone who says Jesus Christ and “I only have three feelings: Hungry, horny, and angry” are some of my favorites. 

31. What’s your reaction towards people who are outspoken about their beliefs? What conditions cause you to dislike or, conversely, enjoy talking with them? I’m outspoken so I think it’s good as long as you know the difference between stating your opinion and being a bigoted or judgmental asshat who says shitting awful things and claims that it’s fine because you’re just “stating your opinion”. I do enjoy talking about different points of view though as long as the person I’m talking to is respectful of my beliefs (because I will make damn sure to be respectful of theirs) so we can have a civil and interesting conversation. 

32. How and where do you prefer to study? Never and nowhere, I’m really bad a studying so I just don’t (or rather didn’t because I’m not in school anymore) 

33. What position do you sleep in? On my back or either side, usually all three at some point during the night 

34. What’s your all-time favourite town or city? Why? My own, so Calgary. Mostly because I grew up here and have never really been too many other places long enough to get attached 

35. What are the top three qualities that draw you to someone new? Sense of humor, love of similar or the same fandoms (excellent way to make friends), talking to me first cause I’m a pansy. 

36. How has your birth order/characteristics of siblings affected you? I’m the youngest of two, it’s mostly just made me want to beat my brother up but I feel like lots of people feel that way so I guess other than being called a “baby sister” and sometimes being treated like a total incompetent dumbass or pansyass crybaby for being younger it’s pretty much a whatever thing   

37. If you could eliminate one weakness or limitation in your life, what would it be? I’d stop running away from my feelings and really say what was on my mind to a few certain people….also I’d have shapeshifting because it would totally help so much

38. If you could restore one broken relationship, which would it be? Me and my dad or me and my mom or me and my brother or me and my sister, take your pick, they’re all fucked up in one way or another, some worse than others

39. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to? Zeta, without a doubt

40. Do you believe ignorance is bliss? Why or why not? In a way yes and in a way no. Personally I would rather know and understand thing sin my life than not know but I also have days where I wish I could be a dumbass five year old again and not know how fucked up this world is so I could be totally worry free and happy for another five minutes 

41. What do you consider unforgivable? A few things, cheating on me or heavily lying to me are pretty high up there for me or saying awful shit about me to other people to try and fuck me over is pretty bad too (also things like rape and hate crime obviously but I wanted to focus more on my own personal unforgivable stuff) and there’s more but I wanna be positive. 

42. Have you forgiven yourself for past personal failures? Why or why not? I’ve been working on it, it’s been hard and it’s gonna continue to be hard but I’m getting there slowly. I kinda figure if I can work on forgiving others I should be able to forgive myself too 

43. How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize? I wish I could say nearly impossible but I’m kind of a pushover and I sometimes forgive too easily when I shouldn’t…Hell half the time I’ll just make up some excuse for the person in my head and pretend that they apologized instead of waiting for them to apologize because I know they won’t 

44.Do you hold any convictions that you would be willing to die for? Sure, I don;t feel like listing them but there are a few

45. To what extent do you trust people? Explain. Either too much or not at all and it’s almost never the right choice for the right person (sometimes I get lucky and I end up with amazing friends in my life whom I trust with all of me and whom I would kill and die for) 

46. In what area of your life are you immature? Most of them honestly. Like I’m a dumbass kid in the body of a tiny adult but I’m smart and I’m aware of what I know and what I don’t know and I like to learn new things and new views on life and I’m capable of defending my opinions on things and debating intelligently and being a reasonable adult but I’m also a dumbass kid who likes playing on swings and playing grounders and jumping in puddles so you take your own conclusions from this. 

47. What was the best news you ever received? I dunno….hearing anyone say that care about me/like me/love me/are thinking about me is collectively the best news cause I crave that validation and affection 

48. How difficult is it for you to be honest, even when your words may be hurtful or unpopular? It can be difficult but I’m always striving to be an honest person which means I’m going to tell people the truth but I understand the difference between the truth and being an asshole to someone so while I won’t sugarcoat my words I will phrase them in such a way that I’m not needlessly hurting someone 

49. When did you immediately click with someone you just met? Why? What was the long term result? Conversely, are you close with anyone now that you really disliked at first? Most of my best friends. I met one of them first day of grade 10 in drama and that was it, we were friends and we’re still friends now (fuck I fell in love with him in fact because we clicked so well). Sometimes it just happens and when it does I usually try my hardest to keep the person around me because I think if we clicked then we were meant to be in each others lives one way or another. 

50. When do you find yourself singing? Always, I sing everywhere and anywhere for no reason. I just love to sing and I hate keeping it in. 

Thank you again lovely anon for sending this in! This was super fun and I loved answering all these questions so much!

Feel free to send me in more asks! Ask meme related or otherwise!

~ZZ