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paradiqms · 2 years ago

Text

to you, 2000 years from now.

hongjoong x fem!reader.

tags: angst, captain!hongjoong, royalty!reader, betrayals, misunderstandings, mentions of death, cruelty, fluff here n there, fantasy setting, strangers to lovers to enemies to..?

summary: after the death of your parents and near fall of your kingdom, you have no choice but to leave your first love in order to keep the kingdom in balance with you as the new ruler. years later, you see a familiar face - but instead of being in your arms, he's kneeling in front of the guillotine.

word count: 4,9k

currently, one out of ?

“must you follow me wherever i go?” the words intended for the young man tailing behind you fall much harsher than you wished from your lips, but you make no effort to show the growing guilt in your chest.

“of course, your highness.” the one who has been sticking to your side the whole morning answers. his voice cracks as he speaks, and you chuckle underneath your breath as your companion attempts to save his pride by coughing into his fist. “i am your guard, after all. so i –”

“have to protect me just in case anything goes wrong. i know, i know.” you cut the boy off, sighing tiredly afterwards. you’re met with silence instead of a reply, and for the nth time this morning, you feel bad.

“i apologize.” you mumble, opting to turn around and face the young man behind you. he’s taller than you despite being the same age. “i wished not to be so… impatient with you. i know this is simply your job as guard.”

a gentle smile grows on the boy’s pale lips – one that you have grown rather fond of during your several months with him as your personal guard. as much as you enjoy the act of understanding that his smile shows, you wish that he would be more stern with you. which is, unfortunately for you, a rather impossible thing to wish for.

“there’s no need to apologize, your highness.” your guard responds with the words that you expected him to say, and you feel your eye twitch ever so slightly.

“did i not tell you to stop calling me that when we’re alone, my dear yeonjun?” you frown, spitefully adding the name of your guard at the end of your sentence as if you emphasize your own words. yeonjun’s smile merely widens at the sight of your annoyance, which in return annoys you even further.

“i guess it’s my turn to apologize then, your high – ouch!” before he could finish his sentence, you reach up to smack the taller boy atop his head, the sound of his armor rattling as he attempts to soothe the growing ache you caused diminishing as you quickly walk away from your guard.

“silly boy.” you laugh quietly underneath your breath, turning around to see that you’ve lost sight of the brown haired boy clad in strong armor that didn’t suit his youthful look. once you’re sure that you’ve created enough distance from yeonjun, you slow down, coming to a leisure walk amongst the people within the town.

the sea of townsfolk seem not to recognize you, and for that you’re immensely grateful.

the last time you sneaked out of the palace and into town, a crowd of people had decided to follow you and give their greetings – some children even wanted to drag you home with them, insisting that you partake in their little ‘acting gig’ where they pretend to be knights in shining armor protecting the princess from pirates.

your role as the princess made it more realistic and fun, as the children had reasoned. yeonjun had to personally drag you away from the children to take you back to the palace.

this time, however, you decided to borrow an old dress from one of the servants instead of using one form your own closet to blend in with the townsfolk and avoid any attention, as well as a piece of cloth covering the lower half of your face. pretty common choice of ‘disguise’ for royals, but you didn’t have much to work with.

your ears catch the tune of an old folksong played on the familiar sound of a lyre amidst the constant chatter of people around you. several townsfolk seemed to have noticed the melody as well, their faces lighting up as they make their way further into the town square and nearer to the music. you tag along, smiling with excitement.

a crowd of people have gathered around the town square, surrounding a long-haired bard who’s reciting a story (or poem? you’re not quite sure) alongside the soothing melody that he plays on his lyre.

having always a deep interest in song and music despite your title, you find yourself lost within the tale that the bard sings.

oh, the ocean that carries the suffering of he,

who wanders the world to find the stars.

but oh, how he finds himself lost in she,

who has one too many scars.

the moon ties their destinies together,

so cruel, evil and unworthy to forgive.

for how can the cursed and the saint care for each other,

when the heavens have decided only one of them shall live.

with a final strum of his lyre, the bard ends his performance, relishing in the cheers of the crowd that surrounds him. his long hair falls from his shoulders as he bows to his audience.

you, however, aren’t so enthusiastic as you clap for the bard.

‘such a sad story.’ your mind speaks, an unfamiliar ache in your chest as the song repeats itself several times within the confines of your head.

you were far too engrossed with your own thoughts to notice someone quickly pushing their way through the audience, shoving away the townspeople left and right without seemingly a care in the world and leaving the crowd mumbling curses. the person shoves you aside as well, making you loose your balance and causing you to fall backwards onto the muddied ground.

just before you had the chance to curse at the stranger for their audacity, they cut you off.

“i’m so sorry – here, let me help you.” the person says, their words falling from their lips in such a rush to the point you probably wouldn’t have understood if they weren’t leaning down closely to you. you look up at the culprit who dared to shove you and your people away, and you notice how young he looks. he has an arm outstretched in hopes to help you stand back up, but before you could accept the offer, a loud voice shouts from amidst the sea of townsfolk around you.

“there he is, the thieving bastard! get him!”

the young man curses underneath his breath. he gives you a quick glance, his eyes conveying the apology he owes you before he runs off. you watch silently as a small group of other men make their way through the crowd in a way that’s rougher than how the boy earlier had done, sending more people toppling over their feet as they yell for the boy to stop running.

your eyes narrow. the boy was a thief, no doubt about it – and yet, he was kind enough to help you after accidentally causing your fall.

‘he’s a thief.’ you scold yourself, shaking your head in attempt to get rid of the way his hair shined under the sun and how soft his voice sounded when he apologized.

thieving is a crime. thieves are criminals, and the boy is a thief. a criminal.why should you help him, right? right. you should keep yourself out of trouble and go back to your leisure stroll around the kingdom. don’t think about how young the thief looked like, and how he must have been stealing only to fend for himself – or maybe even his family. don’t think about it, damn it!

the crowd around you begins to scatter, the townspeople returning to their own work once the commotion died down, and you still haven’t gotten up. you turn around to look at the direction the boy ran off to.

you wonder what’s happening to him. has he escaped? have the other men caught up to him? what are they doing to him, if they have..?

“… ugh, fine.” you groan, forcing yourself onto your feet and running in the same way the thief headed off to. you pass several stalls and enter a dark alleyway, the messy prints on the mud underneath you serving as a guide to where the boy must have ran. without another thought, you follow the leads deeper into the alleyway.

you’re unsure of your own direction, head spinning from the amount of turns you’ve made, but judging from the sound of yelling that’s increasing in volume with every turn you make, you think you’re getting closer.

you slow yourself down from running once the loud shouts sound like they’re right around the corner. your heart beats furiously against your chest, and it nearly stops when you hear pained groans after the yelling stops.

“damn thief,” you hear the rough voice of a man in the alleyway to your right, and you slowly creep your way closer to peek by the wall. “think you could steal our hard earned gold coins just like that? fucking amateur.”

the man crouches down, and you cover your mouth to muffle a surprised gasp as the sight of the boy from earlier enters your sight.

he’s been beaten, badly so – his left eye is swollen and colored an ugly dark purple, blood oozing from several cuts on his youthful face and dripping from his nose. the man is lifting him up from his collar, and the boy doesn’t even try to fight back.

you wonder if he’s even able to, at this point.

“too bad the royal guards didn’t catch you first,” the man snarls at the boy, who doesn’t respond. “they would’ve given you a faster and less painful death than what i’m about to do.”

another man reaches for something on his belt, and even from the distance you’re standing at, you can catch the menacing glint of a dagger.

seconds before the man is about to stab the thief right in the chest, he feels something hard hit him at the back of his head.

“ow, what the hell?” the man curses before turning around with a scowl, and he’s met with the sight of you – standing a few feet away, arm trembling as you hold up a pebble above your head, threatening to throw it at the men in front of you.

“unhand him at once!” you shout, ignoring the fact that your voice is shaking. “i will – i will give you more gold coins than what he has stolen. just let him go.”

‘what are you saying?!’ your mind screams at you, knowing well enough that you didn’t bring a single gold coin or anything valuable with you on your stroll. since, y’know, this was just supposed to be a calming and nice stroll around the kingdom – not some rescue mission, damn it.

if the men don’t kill you, then yeonjun definitely will once he finds out what you’ve been up to.

you’re met with nothing but the sound of silence and your own heartbeat in your ears, until one man decides to break it by roughly dropping the thief onto the ground. you wince as you watch how his head thuds on the floor.

“he stole my entire life savings worth of gold coins, girl.” the man says, grabbing the dagger from the other man into his own clenched fist as he slowly approaches you. “you’ve gotta be one of the royals if you’re gonna give me more than that.”

how ironic, you muse to yourself. you take in a deep breath to calm yourself down as you wait in silence for the man to come closer, and you let it go in the form of a scared whimper as you feel the sharp end of the dagger against your stomach.

“so?” the man growls. “where’s the coins, stupid little girl?”

oh, damn it all to hell.

you meet the mans glare with one of your own as you straighten yourself up, tossing away the pebble you were previously holding to take off the cloth covering the lower half of your face.

“in the palace, you ruffian. want me to send it to you by carriage tomorrow?” you spit out, and you feel the dagger move away from your stomach as the man’s eye widen.

“princess?” he staggers back. you notice how the other men behind him tense up as well.

“i – we – i apologize, your highness. i had no idea–”

“save it.” you interrupt, and the man quickly presses his lips into a thin line. “leave, before i report you to the guards and make you spend your entire life in the dungeons for threatening the princess.”

the man mumbles out something under his breath as he scurries off with his head hung low, the other men tailing after him and muttering apologies to you as they pass. once they’re all out of sight, you let out a heavy breath that you’ve been holding.

your knees are shaking and your heart feels like it’s about to fall out of your chest, but you bear it no mind as you hurriedly make your way to the boy who’s still laying down on the dirty ground at the end of the alleyway, his pained groans reaching your ears.

“hey,” you crouch down to him once you’ve fixed back the cloth over your face. “can you hear me? hello?”

the boy merely groans again.

“alright, let’s get you somewhere else.” you mumble, reaching over to lift one of the boys arm to wrap them around your shoulder as your own arm supports him, slowly lifting him up from the ground. fortunately for you, he’s not that heavy.

the thief lets out another pained groan as you drag him along with you out of the alleyway, his head falling forward and swaying around with every shaky step you take. soon enough, you’re out of the dirty alleyways and you arrive at a small, isolated building that stands alone at the edge of the town.

a small sign swings and squeaks from the wind above your head as you stand atop the three steps of stairs leading to the front door. you knock twice.

a moment passes before the door creaks open ever so slightly, and you can barely make out the eyes that stare at you from behind the door due to the darkness from inside the building.

“state your business.” a croaky, low voice comes from the person behind the door. you clear your throat before speaking.

“apologies for the sudden intrusion,” you mumble. “but the stars need your help to shine again.”

the eyes within the darkness widen, and the door slams shut in your face. you wait patiently as the sound of multiple locks being opened from within the building reaches your ears. the door swings open again, and you’re met with a familiar hunched figure of an old lady clad in a black clothing and white hair that grows pass her torso.

“the stars will shine brighter for you,” the old woman steps aside for you to step in, bowing her head as you make your way inside. “your highness.”

“and they will remain so, for eternity.” you mutter out the last part of the secret phrase your parents taught you when you were younger, offering a gentle smile to the lady before she locks up the door again.

the phrase was created by the royals before your generation, serving as a secret code between the royal family and a select few when they are in need of some dire help. back when your kingdom was caught in terrible war, the royal family couldn’t afford to be vulnerable out in the open where enemies and spies could be anywhere, waiting for the moment to take them down.

despite the kingdom has been in wonderful peace for the last 70 years, the royal family still teaches their young regarding the phrase. this is the first time you’ve used it yourself, even though you thought it would be useless when your mother had introduced it to you during your younger years.

“it’s quite a surprise to see you here, dear princess.” the old lady gestures to you once she’s done with all the locks and bolts on the front door. you blink your eyes a few times to adjust your sight in the darkness of the room, the only source of light present being the fireplace that crackles behind you.

“i know,” you admit, earning a fond chuckle from the lady. “but i didn’t know where else to go. i, uh, need some help.” you adjust the boy that’s leaning against you as if to emphasize on your words, and he lets out a low whine in response.

“i can see that.” the lady smiles knowingly before ushering you to come closer. you do so, and she places a gently hand on your back.

“place the lad on one of the beds upstairs, i will prepare some medicine for him and a cup of tea for you.” before you could protest to her last few words, she pushes you towards the flight of spiral stairs that leads to the second floor and quickly walks off to the kitchen.

‘same creepy old lady even after all these years.’ you think to yourself, remembering the first time you encountered her alongside your father when you were a mere little girl. your father wished to introduce you to her – isolde, if you remember her name correctly – as one of the royal family’s trusted few. apparently, during her youth, she had helped the former kings and queens seek refuge within her home at times of war or simple hardship, and she remains true to her duties till this day.

you carry the thief up the stairs with much effort, the wooden steps creaking loudly to the point you wince at the noise, afraid the steps might break in half at any moment. the fact that the dim lighting from the dusty windows on the wall is the only thing keeping you from tripping and falling on the stairs does not help, either.

once you arrive at the top of the stairs and into the second floor, you’re met with a bit more adequate lighting thanks to the lamps on the wall. you push open one of the doors leading to a spacious bedroom, the creaking noises making you shudder. does isolde never oil her doors?

carefully, you place the thief onto the queen sized bed in the middle of the room, watching him lay down on the soft mattress as you stretch your back with a loud groan. you swear you can hear your bones cracking.

“hah, this is the first and last time i’m carrying someone so far.” you complain. obviously, the thief doesn’t respond, and you’re starting to worry. all this while he’s been really quiet other than the occasional groans he makes. can he even speak anymore, you wonder? is he too weak to speak? did the ruffians break with voice box?

“…hey.” you reach out to the boy, gently shaking him by the shoulder. “how are you feeling? are you okay?”

you receive no response. your heart sinks.

“hey, don’t you dare die on me after i carried you here!” you shake the boy harder, this time with your hands on both of his shoulders as you lean over his body from the side of the bed. “c’mon, please say something, anything at all.”

a moment passes by. you notice how the boy’s lips are parting, as if he’s trying to finally say something, and you wait in anticipation.

“thank… you.” he croaks out. you blink, leaning back in mild surprise before smiling down at him from behind the cloth that covers the lower half of your face.

“don’t mention it,” you respond. “i’m glad you’re alive. i have to take my leave now, please rest well.”

before you could remove your hands from the boy’s shoulders, he catches one of your wrists in his hold, surprising you.

“come… visit,” he speaks, gently squeezing onto your wrist. “next time… please.”

and so you do.

you visit the boy during his stay at isolde’s house, time after time. you come to learn that his name is hongjoong – a young man who comes from a poor family consisting of his parents, his older brother, and himself. he resorted to thieving when his family couldn’t afford to buy food to support themselves anymore. he admitted that he hated stealing during one of your talks with him during a rainy night, and that he could’ve easily fought back against the ruffians who beat him that day, but decided not to.

“i deserved it,” hongjoong had said that night, teeth sinking into the apple isolde gave him. “i’d be lying if i said i don’t feel bad for stealing.”

you didn’t respond to him as you sat next to each other on the queen sized bed, but your heart broke.

frankly, you didn’t know how to respond. how could you, when you’ve been born into a lineage of royalty? how could you say anything to the young man who has betrayed his own morals to fend for his family, when you had feast upon feast each day within the castle walls?

“joong,” you spoke up after a moment, the nickname you made for the boy falling easily from your lips as if you had known him for years. “do you know who i am?”

hongjoong had looked at you weirdly, raising his eyebrow in question as he took another bite into his apple.

“uh, obviously?” he replied as he chewed. you had smiled at how adorable he looked. “you’re byeol, the dumb girl who could’ve gotten herself killed while trying to save me.”

byeol. you feel a muscle in your face twitch. you had given him a fake, random name that first came to your mind when he asked during one of your first talks together. you were already quite suspicious as he didn’t recognize who you are when you didn’t cover your face one day, but you initially brushed it off as some kind of short-term memory loss due to the beating he got.

but weeks passed, and he still doesn’t have a clue on who you are. that’s when you knew he was lying about one thing to you.

hongjoong is not from your kingdom, despite him telling stories of how he is.

it bothered you a bit at the start, but then you came to realize it’s quite refreshing to have someone be clueless on your identity – to have someone be naturally them, with no titles and no courtesies.

so you decided to lie to him too.

“yeah,” you flashed him a smile. “that’s me, i’m byeol.”

weeks turned into months, and you’re beginning to see hongjoong every day now ever since he recovered entirely from his injuries. since you’re adamant on keeping your identity a secret to him, you’ve convinced your parents to leave you out from anything that involved showing your face to the public as princess. they questioned you once, and you responded with a simple shrug, leaving the conversation afterwards. your parents didn’t question you again during the following days.

you’ve also started sneaking out of the palace every night to meet up with hongjoong, with the guards (including yeonjun, thankfully) either asleep in their own homes or asleep whilst they’re on duty, making your job so much easier.

“glad i’m out of that haunted house,” the light haired boy shivers as he sits beside you, the soft candlelight offering its shine to illuminate his features before your eyes. “did you know she peeks into my room in the middle of the night sometimes? creepy old lady, i swear –”

“isolde’s just making sure you’re okay, idiot.” you nudge against him roughly, making him almost fall off the small bed the two of you are currently sitting on.

“okay, but that doesn’t make it any less creepier!” hongjoong protests, and you throw your head back with a loud laugh at how genuinely scared he seems to be around isolde.

hongjoong smiles ever so fondly as he watches you laugh on his small bed inside his cramped room. well, it’s not quite a room, honestly – it’s more of an attic that sits on top of one of the taller buildings within the kingdom that he turned into his own little space, filling it up with numerous books and papers scribbled with poems that express his feelings.

most of them were made for you, but he won’t tell you that. at least not now.

in his hands is another piece of parchment, already crumpled from the way he’s practically gripping onto it nervously.

“she’s a sweet lady if you get to know her more, really.” you wipe away a stray tear that fell from your eye from laughing so hard before leaning backwards against the wall behind you, the funny feeling of prickly wood against your back.

“uh, right,” you giggle at the way hongjoong scrunches his nose when he speaks. “but enough of her – let’s talk about something else.”

you straighten yourself up at hongjoong’s words, a smile on your lips as you’re eager to hear what he has in store for you. you know he enjoys writing in his free time, judging by his works that he has pasted on the walls of his room as well as the ones stacked on his small work table, and it makes you admire him more.

you wish, oh how you wish, that you could live as free as him. a part of you envies the young man and his freedom, all while you’re tied to responsibility ever since your birth. as the first and only child of the king and queen, you’re expected to rule over the kingdom once you’re of age, and it’s the only thing you’ve ever known.

until you met hongjoong. dear, dear hongjoong who doesn’t have a single clue on who you are and expects absolutely nothing from you - except for you to laugh at his lame dad jokes, dance with him in the rain until the both of you are sneezing away the next day, and cheer for him once he’s done reciting another one of his poems.

“what do you have this time, oh dear poet?” you look at the light haired boy expectantly. hongjoong is grateful that the only source of light in his room is the little candle next to his bed, so you won’t be able to see how red his face is right now.

with a dramatic clear of his throat that makes you chuckle, hongjoong straightens out the paper in his hands before reading the words that contain his whole heart within the letters.

my dear starlight, oh how you’ve shined your way into my life,

so bright and beautiful, the north star that leads me home.

one day, i wish to call you my wife,

and to be together for the longest of eternities that the universe has ever known.

“joong, oh my god–”

“i’m not done yet, dearest.”

“okay!”

hongjoong’s laughter sounds like bells in your ears. you gesture him to keep going despite the fact that you feel like you’re about to explode, and he continues.

may our love last, past the final breaths of the immortals,

until even the sun and moon have met their dues.

for with you by my side, not a moment feels dull,

and i will say the words that i have only said to very few…

“i love you.” hongjoong breathes out the last words quietly, eyes leaving the paper in his hands to look at you with hope in his eyes; he’s surprised to see tears in yours.

“hey, oh my god, please don’t–”

the young man is unable to finish his sentence when you lean in to catch his lips in a kiss, uncaring towards the slightly salty taste from the tears that fall from your eyes as he wraps his arms around your figure to pull you closer.

you lean against him, fingers gently carding through the tangles in his light hair as you pour your whole heart into the kiss, where hongjoong gladly accepts it all, feeling as if he’s drowning from your affection. his hands wander around to slip underneath the thin material of your top, cold fingers meeting your warm sides and making you shiver in his arms.

you’re the first to pull away and catch your breath. hongjoong keeps his attention on your lips for a moment before gazing into your eyes, and he can’t grasp how beautiful you look even with the simple fire that blazes on the wick of the candle beside his bed.

“… does this mean you love me too?” hongjoong breathes out, earning himself a slap on his shoulder from you.

“of course, idiot.” you grin, heart softening impossibly so as you watch how hongjoong smiles back at you, seemingly satisfied with your answer.

“then i wish you’d really stay with me for the longest of eternities, starlight.”

you hum, allowing yourself to lay down against hongjoong’s chest as he caresses your hair, the feeling of his gentle hands playing with your locks lulling you to sleep.

“anything for you, joong.” you mumble, falling into slumber with a smile on your lips. “anything for you.”

for the first time in your life, you fall asleep outside the palace walls and in the arms of your love.

as you listen to the sound of hongjoong’s beating heart, you fail to hear the sobs of the heavens.

next.

#ateez fic #hongjoong x you #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong fic #hongjoong angst #ateez angst #hongjoong fluff #ateez x reader #ateez x you #man who am i kidding there's minimal fluff here #i love pain #captain joong make monkey brain go brrr #got weirdly inspired after taking the soldier poet king quiz #another king who wanted poet whos with me

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