#moneyshift

[ilinku2]

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[mini-starfruit]

Going to work is like being a car transmission and getting moneyshifted

[kenmaomela]

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[seat-safety-switch]

We here at Switch Industries have seen the writing on the wall. With the decline of human intelligence, social cohesion and general ability to follow directions, we now know that it can only be a matter of hours until governments worldwide mandate the use of the self-driving car. However, the human spirit still burns within us, a need to fight back against the natural order, even if it is pointless and futile.

Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you: the manual-transmission fully autonomous car. You can still select your own gears, with a clutch pedal and floor shifter and everything. The car will rev-match on its own, adjust to your driving, and even slow down if you try to moneyshift the bitch out of boredom when you’re rolling on the highway.

Philosophers have debated for centuries about whether a simulation of something is just as good as the real thing. We know that a simulated driver is better than a real driver at not drinking half a bottle of Oxyclean and Billy Maysing the bitch into a Value Village. This means that whether or not the transmission is actually attached to anything is immaterial. In our research, within only a few days of being driven to work while shifting the autonomous car like a racecar, our test drivers reported an increased sense of engagement and control in their daily lives. None of them told us about the creeping realization that nothing they do in life will ever amount to anything, and that they were exchanging great amounts of their own existence for worthless trinkets and baubles. A bunch of them liked the cool noises it made.

We believe that even if the transmission just makes the speakers inside the car make fake revving noises, and we’re not saying that it does, your primitive ape brain really cannot tell the difference.

You are, however, going to need to hold the handbrake for the car when it starts on hills. It is not very good at those yet, because it has only been driving for a few weeks.

[smoothshift]

Moneyshifted from 6th to 2nd gear with no apparent damage? via /r/cars

Moneyshifted from 6th to 2nd gear with no apparent damage?

Car is a 2018 WRX if that matters. So I was doing at LEAST 75mph on the freeway today when I downshifted into 4th but missed and went into 2nd for a split second. It was enough to watch the needle fly into the red. After changing my pants, I haven't been able to notice any apparent damage. The car drove me back home fine, and I tried flooring it and driving through all the RPM ranges.

I would think that speed would be enough to do certain damage. Is there any inspection I should do this weekend to identify any trouble early? Or are Subarus just so bulletproof these days? Is my car a ticking time bomb?

[ilinku2]

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[ilinku2]

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[ilinku2]

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[ilinku2]

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[ilinku2]

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[ilinku2]

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[ilinku2]

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[smoothshift]

Moneyshifted a 2012 328i... via /r/cars

Moneyshifted a 2012 328i...

Was driving my 328i 6MT, shifted from 4th to 3rd instead of 5th at about 6500 RPM...the engine screamed, the tires screeched, and then the display said “Drivetrain Malfunction. Drive moderately. Maximum drivetrain output not available. Consult Service Center.” :(

I pulled over and restarted the car, and the code went away, however, I'm still paranoid. It sounded pretty bad. The car seems to be driving fine though. Is there any way I can check for any damage I may have done? Thanks.

[seat-safety-switch]

There’s a thing that happens to everyone who goes north of eight thousand RPM. When it happens, you visit a different world. Reality shifts beneath your feet, and you come back a changed man. I was not the kind of man who would go in for those high-RPM Italian screamers, nor those Dorito-shaped death weasels that the Hiroshima squad liked to crudely pitch into the scarred Armco around my local racetrack.

No, my introduction to the world of high revs came by moneyshifting the humble tractor engine of my daily-driver shitbox Supra so hard it walked a valve out the muffler and into the car behind me. As if to protect me from what it knew would be my downfall, that brave straight six eagerly sacrificed itself in the greatest tradition of its people. It came too late, and I was different.

My coworkers remarked on it first, how they noticed I would spend just a little bit too much time close to the coffee grinder, breathing in the heady racket of its brushless DC motor hitting the low ten thousands as it kicked beans into unrecognizable pulp. There was an intervention, but even with their tortures and rationalizations, all I could do was listen for the sound of turbochargers strapped to the diesel garbage trucks in the alley far below.

The paramedics told me that when they found me, I was stark naked on the airport runway, drowning in the furious roar of a two-speed Pratt & Whitney PurePower turbofan. Two turbofan redlines, I screamed to them through a foaming mouth as they administered the anesthetic.

Now, I sit in a plain-coloured room, engineered specifically by experts in the field of inoffensiveness in order to not raise my ire. I have no doubt that they are speaking to my relatives, confirming to them what they already knew but perhaps denied in the spirit of good old-fashioned politeness. In my quest, I would become a danger to myself and to others long before I could reach the enlightenment that laid at the end of extremely-well-balanced rotating assemblies.

The short-stack ventilation fan stuccoed into the wall outside can achieve only a peak speed of three thousand revolutions per minute, regulated to such because of the limits of its simple needle bearing design. To exceed this speed would lead to its complete destruction. I reflect upon this fan often. Like it, I have been destroyed by my love for revs.