#momosavesmylife

[saospeaksvolumes]

This. Puffalumpahunka L🖤ve. I know dogs aren’t children. I know the condescension so many actual parents place upon feeling paternal for pets. They don’t compare. But. I have these waves of sadness that seem to have no cure, feels that I am perpetually suffocating them b/c healing them has been accepted as maybe a not gonna happen scenario—but those waves, they don’t crash as hard when I see this handsome being. He saved my life when I hit the brick wall I’d been driving toward for years, the one that wrecked any belief that I’d be someone’s actual Mama. MoMo took that impact with me. He is connected to my emotions in an uncanny way, knowing when I need him to lick my face off or sniff my tears away (with actual nose in eyeballs lol) or sit statuesque unmoved so no one else can come near. He will check me when I get hype & he literally wants me to pick him up when I laugh or love on his daddy so he can join in. And. I will forever be grateful for his shine. That wave be crashing on me again lately. Prob just recent Hallmark holiday, maybe now being over 40, or how badly I am missing home where I can spend time with those who make me feel otherwise. And it will crash...again and again. And I get. Tired from its weight. Most can’t understand that there is really nothing about an infant that I miss. It is. The 20-yr-old I could have who just might have been dedicated to loving Mama. Until. I see that Tuxedo Mo on horizon. He lets me know I’m not lost at sea....Yeah....It’s that deep. And I’m treading water a bit rn. And it’s salty. But it’s only to build some stamina until I can surf again🌊 Sometimes. I just. Have to speak it to others. Because I masked it too long before until almost unrecognizable. I must. Face the nerves that come with knowing people will see and know. Because. It wakens my spirit to ensure I still feel instead of disappearing into the numb, shit, welcoming it. So. Shared feels. So I can feel. #facetruth #shareit #unashamed #unapologetic #momosavedmylife #momosavesmylife #freefreedoestoo♥️ #truthfultuesday #imadogmom #itmatters (at SAO Cooks & Catering) https://www.instagram.com/p/CAX50-qh49D/?igshid=cxof8bq9jls8