#momoko || disclosed information.

[froppy-butterflyfan2000]

Denki tilted his head, staring at Headmistress Elodie and Professor Tormenta, who are expressing a concern look plastering on their face. The latent inhuman/Chemical X Super Hybrid is sitting down in the staff room for a meeting on Saturday, discussing about the Wednesday’s night vampire attack in the P.O.I.N.T. Prep Boys’ Dormitory as he was the one whose took part in the Night Watch. Denki stays silence as she take a moment to replay the memory of another attack of vampires at P.O.I.N.T. Prep. Denki was put in charge to evacuate the boys to the safe house. However, he get between the children and the children watch as Denki got bitten by a vampire. Reynash and Soren, Tormenta’s son are among the boys to witness his eldest brother get bitten by a vampire to keep them safe.

“I don’t understand, why didn’t Denki use his powers to defends them off?” Reynash told Professor Tormenta about this. Tormenta’s eyes are narrowed at Denki when he declined that he was bitten by a vampire. Did he lose his memory after passing out from blood loss, or does this vampire have this ability to erase his memory after sucking his blood? Good thing he wasn’t turn into a vampire as he is not showing any signs of turning.

“I see, you’re sure you don’t recall being bitten?”

Denki nod. “I swears on my heart, I never recall being bitten. The last thing I know was lying in the hospital bed after I evacuated my little brother and the other male students.”

He let out a sigh and frown. “I’m sorry, it must have been the head trauma I have gotten that I don’t recall this event and my mind is actually still blurry….”

Elodie frowns for Denki because he volunteered to teach the disciples of Strength and Wisdom in the wrong time. This boy have been through a lot. Protecting India all by himself for six years alone, despite having other Indian alumni superheroes trained by Pan-Asian School for the Unusually Gifted, the school Denki graduated from. Even though she is the headmistress, she could tell that his hero’s journey is taking a toll on him.

“By the way Professor McKnight, is your son, Soren doing well? I hope he is well.”

Tormenta hummed.

“Thanks you for your concerns, however I cannot disclosed any information to you. Not yet at this moment,” Tormenta informed.

“You’re welcome and noted.”

Meanwhile, Reynash is sitting on his bed at the the guest room of Nergal Junior’s home in Neo Riot City since the boys’ dormitory is closed because of the vampire attacks. However instead of living at his home back in Townsville, he’s staying with Nergella’s father, Nergal Junior for a while now, under Denki’s request. Questions are swirling around in his head after what happen. He hope that his friends, such as Saturn is all right. He cannot believe that there are vampire infestation occurs in P.O.I.N.T. Prep, this is why he doesn’t want any supernatural to be involved in his life. Supernatural is the reason his mom disappear from his life and turning his life upside down. He didn’t wants to be watching over Nergella to begins with! Reynash hears his cellphone vibrating on the nightstand. He let out an frustrated sigh, it could be his sisters, Momoko and Ashanti texting him on WhatsApp, on their father’s behalf (because he blocks him) to see if he and Denki were alright.

Just then, he hears a knock on the guest room’s door.

“Nergella, if that’s you, I am still not in a good mood to talks to you.”

“……This is your Ex-Uncle,” Nergal Junior replied. “I just wanted to know if you wants to play soccer outside with the Nergalings. I do not wants you to be stuck in this room all day. It’s an offer. Not a demand by the way.”

“I don’t care,” Reynash talked back to him.

“So you rather end up like me then?” Nergal Junior replied.

“I am not like you! I have normal friends,” Reynash barked. “I know that I can goes outside and have fun whenever I wants. I am not some child whose follow orders. Just go away!”

“Pre-teens,” Nergal Junior thought. He left Reynash alone. If Reynash said he can choose to go out, he believes him. Perhaps he could send his sister, Negona to keep an eyes on him but primarily to goes out to have fun for herself.

Tormenta McKnight and Soren Hadley (mentioned) belong to @animeclub78

Reynash Deol/Sharma, Momoko Deol/Sharma (mentioned), Ashanti Deol/Sharma (mentioned), and Satura the Night Fairy (mentioned) belong to @cooltmoney95

Nergella Utonium-Pines (mentioned) and Denki A. Deol belong to @froppy-butterflyfan2000 (me)

Negona (mentioned) belongs to @princess-lunalu

"Sorry if this is an awkward question, but you haven't been bitten by a vampire recently, have you?"

"...Not to my knowledge?"

[conoscenze]

CHARACTER AESTHETICS. bold what applies.

I. THE FAIRY.  chipped nail polish. glitter highlight. tall trees with smooth bark. tangled hair. the taste of cinnamon sugar.  talking too loud and too fast. overgrown flowers in your hair. crumbling buildings reclaimed by nature. flirting. walking home at 3am with no coat. platonic hand-holding. blowing smoke out of your nose. dragonfly wings. chaotic good. freckles. fairy rings. secret meetings. gender nonconformity. leather. smudged eyeliner. forbidden fruit.

II. THE REAPER. computer errors. a shiver down your spine. haunting beauty. hard liquor. crowns of thorns. shadowed alleyways. decaying plant matter. shattered mirrors and broken glass. corrupted memories. stopped clocks. the scent of stale cigarettes. tattered black hoodies. walking your friends home. the crescent moon. the sea. a graveyard on a foggy day. cold rings on cold fingers. absolution. looking out the window of an airplane. soft kisses.

III. THE WITCH. graffiti. pretending to know what you’re doing. worn paperback books. growing up too fast. parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme. lace and combat boots. moth wings. candles on every surface. a weathered deck of cards. turning the music up. fireflies in jars. calloused fingers. drawing on your skin. sunlight filtering through clouds. petrichor. a dying rose in a jar. wearing a crystal pendant. illusions and spells. black cats. mint gum. chapped lips. dirt under your fingernails. the cycle of life and death.

IV. THE WOLF. murders of crows. frost-bitten leaves. wolves howling at midnight. knocking on your door. leaving food out for stray animals. the twang of an acoustic guitar. honey. tiny red buds on trees. claw marks on the walls. golden eyes. slightly too long stubble. sharp canines.  soft, thick fur. hunger. a small cottage in the middle of the woods. knitted fingerless gloves. sleeping on the forest floor.  always finding your way back home.

tagged by: @duskwilt​ (thank you!) tagging: anyone who wants to do it!

[conoscenze]

THE DERE GAME.

Tagged by: stolen! Tagging: whoever wants to do it!

DEREDERE.

[  ] You tilt your head when you’re confused. [  ] You love sweets and cute things. [  ] You are often confused and lost in conversations with your friends. [  ] People often call you cute. [  ] You care a lot about your friends. [  ] You embarrass yourself a lot with silly question or statements. [  ] You like bright, soft colours. [  ] You enjoy listening to cute, sweet, gentle songs. [  ] You add things to the end of your friend’s names. [  ] People often say “aww” when you’ve done something clumsy / silly. [  ] You like anime / movies about romance, love and friendship.

Total: 0 / 11

TSUNDERE.

[  ] You come off as tough and confident on the outside when you are actually soft and emotional on the inside. [ x ] You often hide your true feelings for someone. [  ] You are caring but deny it when someone tells it to you. [ x ] You are protective. [  ] When someone bugs you, you tell them right away strongly, but are still worried that you’ve hurt them. [  ] You are easily embarrassed. [  ] Compliments make you feel awkward and you always deny them. [  ] You tease and bully the one you love to hide your feelings. [ x ] You can be violent at times. [  ] You may hurt people a lot, but regret it right away. [ x ] You never cry in front of others.

Total: 4 / 11

YANDERE.

[  ] You are often loving, caring, sweet - until someone upsets you badly. [ x ] When angry, you normally hide it until the time for revenge is right. [ x ] You can at times, be obsessive. [  ] People have said you are “two-faced”. [  ] People tell you that you’re nice, but can be creepy at times. [ x ] You scare the crap out of your friends when you get upset. [  ] People find it weird to see you anything other than gentle and smiling. [  ] When you’re upset, sometimes you still smile, even when saying something harsh. [ x ] You can get very violent. [  ] You love to help people, but often love to help yourself more. [ x ] You like colours like dark blue or light red.

Total: 5 / 11

KUUDERE.

[ x ] You don’t show your emotions to others. [ x ] When you become close to someone, you slowly open up. [ x ] Although you don’t show it, you are easily made happy. [  ] You care for others a lot, still, you don’t show it. [ x ] People think you are mysterious. [ x ] You can be shy. [ x ] You aren’t very loud, rather silent. [ x ] You know who to trust and who not to. [  ] You choose which friend you can trust wisely. [  ] You like simple colours, like light purple or white. [ x ] You are rather mature.

Total: 8 / 11

DANDERE.

[  ] You are a shy person. [ x ] You are quiet and don’t speak up for yourself. [  ] You look down instead of straight forwards when walking. [  ] You sometimes go to extreme levels just to get out of public speaking. [  ] You have stage fright. [ x ] You are stoic and not very open. [ x ] You hide yourself with your hair at times. [  ] You speak very quietly in case you say something silly or you sound weird. [ x ] You are afraid of meeting new people. [  ] You are a hard worker. [  ] You do not have as many friendships as others, but those you do have, you’ll cherish them very much.

Total: 4 / 11

[conoscenze]

▌FACE CLAIM : Original art ▌NAME : Momoko Hotaru ▌AGE : 24 years old ▌HEIGHT : 175cm ▌SPECIES : Human ▌GENDER : Female ▌RACE / ETHNICITY : Japanese ▌BIRTHDAY : 17th January 1995 ▌SUN SIGN : Capricorn ▌RESIDENCE : Japan, Tokyo (somewhere in the suburbs, not far from the most populated prefectures) ▌MARITAL STATUS : Single ▌ALIGNMENT : Chaotic Neutral ▌DRINK : Not applicable, as is abstemious ▌FOOD : Plain white rice ▌DAY OR NIGHT : Night ▌SNACKS : None ▌PET : None (hates animals) ▌COLOUR : Black and red ▌FLOWER : Hydrangeas ▌SEXUALITY : Grey-demisexual demiromantic (however, dangerously distorted view of both romance and sex) ▌BODY TYPE : Thin, scrawny, androgynous ▌EYE COLOUR : Pecan brown (occasionally wears Turkish blue contacts for aesthetic) ▌HAIR COLOUR : Pitch black with random, badly done, fading traffic light red highlights

TAGGED BY: @carnivorarium​ (thank you!!) TAGGING: anyone, steal it!

[conoscenze]

CRIMES.

BOLD the following that your character has done, ITALICIZE what your character would do.

murder /  manslaughter  /  assault  /  robbery  /  breaking & entering  /  theft  / embezzlement  /  kidnapping  /  torture  / blackmail  /  arson  / trespassing /  treason  / libel or slander  /  obstruction of justice  /  lying to law enforcement /  creation of a weapon  /  espionage  /  riot  / escape from lawful custody  /  contempt of court  /  public intoxication  /  conspiracy  /  accessory to a crime  / harboring a fugitive  /  bribery  / perjury under oath  /  resisting arrest  /  identity theft  /  corporate fraud  /  tax fraud  / document forgery  /  destruction of evidence  /  assassination  / counterfeiting  /  sale of a controlled substance  /  purchase of a controlled substance /  failure to pay child support  /  hacking crimes /  threat  /  pick-pocketing  /  shoplifting

[conoscenze]

self-esteem // part two.

As the title says, this is a continuation of this post, in which are featured five out of the ten muses of this blog. (Number may grow in the future.) Not much else to say!

POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING FOR MENTIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS, EMOTIONAL & MENTAL ABUSE, AND IN GENERAL COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SELF-LOATHING. Nothing except the latter goes much in detail. Enjoy!

Fujunko, I’d say, has a very normal situation. While she did grow up bullied and isolated from others due to her family situation, she has always been a strong child because of her grandmother’s support. She thinks of herself as pretty okay, average even, and truth be told she lacks a proper conception and opinion of herself because she is always more focused on what she does, rather than who she is. Fujunko is modest and humble, and is aware of her faults and that she should fix them. The prospect of that doesn’t weigh for her, it instead fuels her determination further because she knows she’ll be an even better person once she might succeed. Perhaps the only thing she is a little self-conscious about is her sexuality, or more specifically the fact that she has always lived in an environment that is full of sexualization as well as other things related to sex. For example, not many people know she lives in Kabukicho because she is well aware of that district’s reputation. Along with that, even without having visitors coming over, she prepared a special spot where to hide her hentai manga and porn magazines. Fujunko is conscious of her sexuality and how active her libido is, and she’s not truly ashamed of it---perhaps it’s more of a situation where she would rather not risk looking like a complete pervert. Being degraded to just that would be greatly inconveniencing.

Min-Seo defines her self-worth based on others’ opinions. Ever since she was young, she has always been influenced by the judgement of others, the prime example being her own parents. Self-made people that base one’s worth through what they can achieve and how they can handle business: from the very start Min-Seo was expected to fit in that archetype as well, she was pampered and educated to retain that mindset much like her father and her mother. The moment Min-Seo decided to direct herself towards something less academic, but rather more artistic (cooking isn’t exactly seen as something material, in her family) they turned their backs on her. Maybe she could’ve been able to pass not too unscathed had they just done that. Instead they decided to stick their fingers and salt into the wounds, considering Min-Seo is not a hard read: it’s obvious how she constantly craves approval from others, no matter about what. Her parents were disappointed, and decided to make her understand to what extent they felt hurt. Victims of a crime she never committed in first place. She thinks that acting according to her own personality and morals is wrong in itself. A lot of times Min-Seo doubts her actions, questions her worth, wonders about her existence in itself. The weight that her parents’ expectations have on her back is far too much for her to handle without breaking. Min-Seo can persevere, but one thing is for sure: she will forever be scarred by her own lack of assertiveness. This is her conviction. The way she constantly puts herself down for every little thing may come across as attention-seeking, and it wouldn’t be wrong to think so. In a way, she is craving of attention and validation, even though she constantly denies so if directly asked. She wants to be looked at for who she is, but she is too scared to disappoint others in doing it. Thus, she is content with superficial reassurances and compliments---they satisfy, even if a little, her need for that bit of positivity while not digging in too deep. Because who likes a loser that’s constantly fretting over the future and her own identity?

Marzanna is another complex case, mostly due to the fact that her ego made, for the most part, an incredible shift. Its timeline can be divided very neatly: pre-Nev, the time previous to her “punishment”; and post-Nev, the time spent living in the human world with her reborn appearance, which she dons to this day. It wasn’t exactly a drastic change, as it came gradually with its own time, but the differences between before and after are rather striking. Impressive as they are quite scary. However, as a deity, Marzanna will always retain a sense of superiority. Obviously, pre-Nev she was much more cruel, merciless, violent---a goddess of Death and Winter true to her name. But going along with the myths, even then she possessed a very intricate personality due to her double-nature as a goddess of Harvest and Rebirth. You could say she played “both parts”, even if her nature was still prevalently more inclined to be the vicious Marzanna all humans worshipping her cult feared. That respect and terror in her regards constantly fuelled her ego and pride, hence why she rarely took kindly to those who critiqued her ways and manners (which were basically non-existent). After all the whereabouts in the Underworld, there was a change. Marzanna, the first time she came out of her “cocoon”, did not seem like Marzanna at all. Though it took her time to settle comfortably in her new body and her new life amongst humans, she managed to prove not only to Veles and Perun, but also to herself, that she was capable of being better. Of real emotions other than bitterness, anger, and spite. Marzanna became humble, she felt humble, and wanted to be kind to others without expecting anything in return. This doesn’t mean that she forgot who she was and what she did---Marzanna remembers everything very clearly. And, an important note, is that her “rebirth” did not erase the being she was before. Marzanna is gentle---but she still is prideful, she still can be fearsome, she, of her own will, can hurt others to her liking. The difference is that now her patience is much broader and more difficult to abuse of, seeing as she has learned how to properly control herself. If you bring into discussion the matter of self-worth, though, Marzanna will state with confidence that she doesn’t think of herself as neither too worthless, nor worthy. She is right in the middle. She would be telling the truth. There are certain things she is especially self-deprecating about, such as Jarilo and Vesna and her past wrongdoings, but they don’t feel so heavy that she needs to chastise herself because of them. Rather, she believes acknowledging them will help in avoiding further mistakes that may bring to those very same terrible choices. So, in short, Marzanna has decent self-esteem, and considers herself not exactly the best person, whilst not belittling her own efforts. She strongly believes in self-improvement, and despite not liking enjoying the memories about the things she has done and said, she doesn’t deny having acted upon them out of her own free will. While she is kind around humans, she still retains a bit of sense of condescending superiority, as perhaps remnant of her once-fiery pride. She’s not the kind to abuse of her nature, however, preferring to conceal it.

Annaliese is confident, it’s not difficult to tell. Although her past is rather bizarre---between neglectful, bigoted parents, a difficult life in the orphanage and a quite null life before the one in the convent---she seems to have come unscathed out of most of her experiences. In fact, one could even dare say that no matter how bad a thing could be, she will make the best of it and treasure the good part of her experience. Annaliese is a simple woman with a rather picky mind, because while she does not necessarily forget the horrible things said and done to her, they don’t affect her. They literally wash off as easily as rain. Is it in her nature to be so simply careless? Most’s insecurities (at least in the case of this blog) stem from the fear of other’s judgement and opinions, and they can augment following more events worth of a great shock or a trauma. For some reason, this does not apply to Annaliese---she has a stable view of herself, which is nor exceedingly high nor stratospherically low. It could be her airheadness playing a part as well, considering she’s not too aware of her own flaws and faults: but when met with confrontation about them, as long as it’s reasonable, she is willing to listen (hoping the other party will be kind enough as to explain properly what they mean). Annaliese considers hostile approaches annoying and useless to deal with, and perhaps this way of “shrugging them off” came with the stern teachings of the orphanage she grew up in, which was handled by the clergy. It is very stereotypical, and mostly true, for religious people to be obstinately stubborn about their beliefs. This could apply to Annaliese, who is outright unwilling to communicate with someone who is not able to take on a calmer attitude. Annaliese thinks of herself as decent, and doesn’t really take to mind her flaws nor her merits. She almost only acts on instinct, meaning she doesn’t use her head all that much. This means any ill judgement is typically rejected without batting an eye, and without giving thought to it---almost as if it was never heard in first place. This also means that if she feels unjustly attacked, she will act upon personal pride to try and defend herself.

Momoko is... complex. That, in itself, is not the correct word to describe her situation with self-esteem. Let’s start with the fact that Momoko has a very distorted view on many things, varying from common knowledge to specific psychological matters such as love, affection. She also has a very hard time dealing with what’s real and what’s not, as she constantly lives in a hazy and confused status that’s constantly oscillating between reality and hallucinations. It’s enough of an example to mention how her dreams, as described by her, almost exactly resemble her daily life. Sometimes, her brain---high on medications---creates hallucinations out of nowhere, be it auditory, sensory, or visual. Momoko lives her life constantly on edge because of this. To understand exactly why she ended up living in this perpetual state of uncertainty about what’s real and what not, you’d have to know what happened in her past. Considering that, as of now, it’s for the most part concealed and vague, we’ll try to explain without having to necessarily explore that specific aspect. As a first, Momoko thinks mostly two things about herself: “I’m a miserable piece of shit” and “But at least I’m better than the cockroaches”. She considers herself a despicable, lowly being, without a doubt. But at the same time she contradicts her own belief, by stating that she is superior in comparison to what she calls “cockroaches”. It’s a rather interesting paradox, as well as huge. She hates herself whilst not truly hating herself---confused as her own perception of reality is. Momoko judges others for anything simply because she can, and because she doesn’t feel the need to repress hostile and rude thoughts. It took her some time, and a lot of pressure from her medics, to understand that it’d be best if she kept comments to herself---but when she’s alone, or in a scarcely populated area, she doesn’t refrain from commenting under her breath any and all evil things she can think of. It’s efficient for distancing others from approaching her, is her conscious thought. Subconsciously, she is feeding her own ego, which is dramatically starving for some sort of validation. Momoko feeds her own self-esteem however she can, and since only anger runs through her veins, she will fuel her confidence with hatred towards others. Acting out based on her impulses and pleasures (such as hurting small living beings and being a disturbingly active member of the darknet community) doesn’t truly feed into this illusion of hers, it’s useful to fulfill a sense of utility. Momoko is conscious and makes use of her own intelligence, despite the fact that it doesn’t make her feel good about herself. Her own self-worth isn’t based on her skills. Then if her pride is based on her hatred towards others---the “cockroaches”, as she calls them (though it’s not exclusive to other people); what is her self-loathing based on? A very good question. The most clear-cut answer is her unveiled past, of course, and the events that occurred in her middle-school years. But since we cannot explore that part of her timeline yet, a possible answer could be... her self-consciousness. Momoko has never been particularly subject to bullying---nor to others’ judgement. In fact, while she was often picked on, she just as perpetually fought back with teeth and nails. Momoko always had a strong confidence regarding herself ever since she was a kid. So, one would be curious as to why she would grow up to resent herself to the point which she literally can reach starving points of two full days, one would be dying to understand what is pushing her to risk her (so far) untainted criminal record with all the illegal actions she follows on her own accord. Momoko is conscious of her actions. She knows what she does is horrible. And she doesn’t feel an ounce of guilt. Time and time again she’s bared strong self-fulfilled conviction in her own actions, and rarely does she feel like she is in the wrong. Even when presented with proof, it’s hard to convince her that she might be the one at fault. Then what is it? What is the cause of her self-hatred, if not aforementioned self-consciousness? Could it be something rooted in that so-mysterious event that caused her whole life to go downhill? Honestly? Momoko does not know. She hates herself---because she is human, that much is obvious. She doesn’t feel remorse when she acts vile, and that’s when she feels good about herself. Having emotions is the bane of her. She hates feeling. Perhaps this could be the reason. It’s her own nature as an emotional human being that she despises the most.

[conoscenze]

🎵momoko!

music association — @lifedenied​ — accepting.

GOOD FOR NOTHING PERSON // NASHIMOTO UI FT. HATSUNE MIKU

Damn it, damn it; my earsDamn it, damn it; my earsAre not willing to hear anyone’s voice.Are not willing to hear anyone’s voice.

Damn it, damn it; my mouthDamn it, damn it; my mouthCan’t be kind to anyone.Can’t be kind to anyone.

I might be no good after allI might be no good after allI might be no good after allI might be no good after all.

[…]

I want to think of someone.I want to see someone.I want to hear someone’s voice.I want to be kind to someone.

[conoscenze]

are both of Momoko's siblings presumed dead or just her sister?

@hyacinthsgirl

Momoko’s siblings are officially marked as “missing”, but they could be dead as they could still be alive. The police hadn’t managed to find enough proof to confirm that they had died the time of their disappearances, and being no other key witnesses other than Momoko, the case has been just recently archived as unsolved.

In short, both her brother and sister are presumed dead since long time. The investigations behind their disappearance have been only recently dropped. Momoko is the only witness that could clarify what happened to them, but is very uncooperative. This is why her doctors want to use even the most controversial of methods to get her to talk about this whole deal (hypnosis is being considered as of now).

[conoscenze]

japanese voiceclaims.

As the name says, a compilation of Japanese voiceclaims! Obviously I only assigned these to Japanese-speaking muses. Keep also in mind they’re not stark perfect examples, but are good references just to have an idea of what their tone of voice / timbre might sound like when speaking the language.

Fujunko (Sawashiro Miyuki)

Kaede (Mizutani Yuko)

Momoko (Park Romi)

Marzanna (Inoue Kikuko)

Phoebe (Kuwashima Houko)

Karmina (Koshimizu Ami)

[conoscenze]

THE BODY IS JUST A SHELL TO THE SOUL // AESTHETICS.

Tagged by: @hellforeyes (thank you ya nerd) Tagging: whoever’s the dancing queen

bold - always / often italic - sometimes / somewhat

BODY.

Long legs. Short legs. Average legs. Slender thighs. Thick thighs. Muscular thighs. Skinny arms. Soft arms. Toned arms. Muscular arms. Toned stomach. Flat stomach. Flabby Stomach. Soft stomach. Six pack. Beer belly.  Lean frame. Slender frame. Muscular frame. Voluptuous frame. Petite frame. Lanky frame. Short nails. Long nails. Manicured nails. Dirty nails. Small waist. Thick waist. Narrow hips. Average hips. Wide hips. Big feet. Average feet. Small feet. Soft feet. Slender feet. Calloused feet. Calloused hands. Soft hands. Big hands. Average hands. Small hands. Long fingers. Short fingers. Average fingers. Broad shoulders. Underweight. Average weight. Overweight.

HEIGHT.

Shorter than 140 cm. 141 cm to 150 cm. 151 cm to 160 cm. 161 cm to 170 cm. 171 cm to 180cm. 181 cm to 190 cm. 191 cm to 2m. Taller than 2 m.

SKIN.

Pale. Fair. Rosy. Olive. Dark. Tanned. Blotchy. Smooth. Acne. Dry. Greasy. Freckled. Scarred.

EYES.

Small. Large. Average. Grey. Brown (natural). Black. Blue (aesthetic contact lenses). Red. Green. Gold. Amber. Magenta. Violet. Hazel. Unnatural color. Doe-eyed. Almond. Close-set. Wide-set. Squinty. Monolid. Heavy eyelids. Upturned. Downturned.

HAIR.

Thin. Thick. Fine. Normal. Greasy. Dry. Soft. Shiny. Scruffy. Frizzy. Curly. Wild. Unruly. Straight. Smooth. Wavy. Floppy. Cropped. Pixie-cut. Short. Shoulder length. Back length. Waist length +. Floor length. Buzz cut. Bald. Jaw length. Vermilion. Carmine red. Candy apple red. Mohawk. White. Platinum blonde. Golden blonde. Dirty blonde. Ombre. Light brown. Mouse brown. Chestnut brown. Golden brown. Chocolate brown. Dark brown. Jet black. Ginger. Auburn. Dyed red. Dyed any “unnatural color”. Streaked (sparse red streaks). Thin eyebrows. Average eyebrows. Thick eyebrows. No eyebrows.

TATTOOS / PIERCINGS.

Full sleeve. Thigh tattoo. Shin tattoo. Wrist tattoo. (Lower) Back tattoo. Hand / finger tattoo. Foot tattoo. Neck tattoo. Face tattoo. Chest tattoo. Shoulder tattoo(s). One tattoo. A few here and there. Multiple. No tattoo. Monroe piercing. Nose piercing. Septum. Nipple piercing(s). Genital piercing(s). Industrial piercings. Earlobe piercing. Prince Albert piercing. Eyebrow piercing(s). Tongue piercing. Lip piercing(s). Navel piercing(s). Tragus piercing. Angel bites. Labret. Stretches out ears. Navel piercing. Inverse navel piercing. Cheek piercing(s). Smiley. Nape piercing(s). No piercings.

COSMETICS.

Light eyeliner. Heavy eyeliner. Cat eyes. Mascara. Fake eyelashes. Matte lipstick. Regular lipstick. Lipgloss. Red lips. Pink lips. Dark lips. Bronzer. Highlighter. Eyeshadow. Neutral eyeshadow. Smoky eyes. Colorful eyeshadow. Blush. Lipliner. Light contouring. Heavy contouring. Powder. Matte foundation. Shiny foundation. Concealer. Wears make up regularly. Wears makeup from time to time. Never wears make-up.

SCENT.

Floral. Fruity. Perfumes. Aftershave. Cocoa. Moisturizer. Natural soap. Shampoo. Cigarettes. Leather. Sweat. Food. Incense. Marijuana. Cologne. Whiskey. Wine. Fried food. Blood. Fire. Metal. Rain. Grass. Ocean. Autumn leaves. Baked bread. Freshly baked cookies. Smoke. Campfire. Lavender. Trees. Pumpkin Pie. Musk. Rose. Gingerbread. Peppermint. Oak. Honey. Lemon. Vanilla. Coffee Cake. Mint. Rawhyde. Chemicals.

CLOTHES.

Jeans. Tight pants. Overknee socks. Tights. Leggings. Yoga pants. Skirts. Tight / formfitting dress. Cardigans. Blouse. Button up shirt. Long sleeved shirts. Band-T-shirt. Sports-T-shirt. Turtleneck. Sweatpants. Tanktop. Cut off t-shirt. Designer. High street. Online stores. Thrift. Lingerie. Maxidress. Sun dress. Tie. Tuxedo. Cocktail dress. High slit dress / skirt. T-shirt. Loose clothing. Tight clothing. Jean shorts. Sweater. Sweater vest. Khaki pants. Suit. Hoodie. Harem pants. Basketball shorts. Boxers. Briefs. Thong. Hotpants. Hipster panties. Bra. Sports bra. Crop top. Corset. Ballerina skirt. Leotard. Polka dot. Stripes. Glitter. Silk. Lace. Leather. Velvet. Chemise. Patterns. Florals. Neon colors. Pastels. Plaid.  Black. Dark colors. Fur. Faux fur.  

SHOES.

Sneakers. Slip-ons. Flats. Slippers. Sandals. High heels. Kitten heels. Ankle boots. Combat boots. Boots. Cowboy boots. Knee-high. Platforms. Bare feet. Loafers.

[conoscenze]

FOUR TRACKS.

SHARE FOUR SONGS / PIECES OF MUSIC THAT REPRESENT YOUR MUSE.

TAGGING. @duskfloret​, @wholehcartedly​, @carnivorarium​, @rogue-valor​ / @slaughter-angel​ and anyone else who wants to do it! TAGGED. stolen from @illholy​ :y

KOUKATSU // MARETU ft. Hatsune Miku

The faintly flowing blood and tears separate from the pitiful person who was laughed I must never return here There’s a dying person here, too

Hammer a nail at the extended outfield, and gouge out your gathered curious eyes When you decapitate the head of the gathered justice, there's no way you won't enjoy it!

WHEN YOU DIE // MGMT

Go fuck yourself You heard me right Don’t call me nice again Don’t you have somewhere to be at seven thirty? Baby, I’m ready, I'm ready, ready, ready to blow my brains out

You die And words won’t do anything It’s permanently night And I won’t feel anything We’ll all be laughing with you when you die

MR. SELF DESTRUCT // Nine Inch Nails

I am the bullet in the gun (and I control you) I am the truth from which you run (and I control you) I am the silencing machine (and I control you) I am the end of all your dreams (and I control you)

I take you where you want to go I give you all you need to know I drag you down, I use you up Mr. Self Destruct

DISORDERED SELF-RESTRAINT GIRL // Otetsu ft. GUMI

Frustration, pooling into pools Feeling hazy and half conscious Total exhaustion, nervous breakdown, a weakened mind, Unable to sleep

Showtime! Inside the cage Throwing away my consciousness, Erase everyone unpleasant Drool, and dance wildly, crazily, joyously Is this the pure land or heaven? No, it’s Hell 

Showtime, even if a sword wielder Slices my head and makes it fly off Tomorrow everything continues as usual Smiling, and forgiving!

[conoscenze]

Momoko + soft!

prompts — @duskfloret — not accepting.

It’s a weird sensation. Not unfamiliar; but it’s been long since she’s felt it brush against her skin. Momoko is not used to softness. In general, she might as well admit that with time, she’s grown to dislike it due to various reasons---two of them being that she’s grown rough, and that she’s become sandpaper. Scraping her hands against anything tender might simply ruin it. (Sticking around rotten things makes her feel less conscious about it.)     Yet, every time she walks by a flower shop, she can’t help but stop. And stare. For a good few minutes. Which is what happened just now.     All the memories---all that she remembers---which she claims to be obscured play like an old, corrupted videotape in the back of her mind: the scratchy VHS sounds and glitches keeping her from walking further away come back from the trusty drawers in which she’d closed them after the last session, and haunt her. Quite literally. Her left eye twitches, and her lips grimace. Her gaze is both in the real world and swallowed by her subconscious, not quite there. The more she keeps her eyes locked on those hydrangeas the more she can feel the corners within her sight darken, blurry, confused, fuzzy---

“Eh, Chihiro-tan, stop whining. See? We’ve arrived to your favourite flower shop!”     “Mamaaaa, but I want ice cream...”     ---Voices snap her out of her trance, making her realize that she’d been standing there since at least five minutes. Behind the shop’s window Momoko can, with enough squinting and focus, make out the disgruntled and vaguely perplexed expression of the owner, who immediately snatches his glance away as soon as he hears (ding ding ding, it’s the bell on the entrance door) and sees new customers stepping in. His expression melts, she notices, as he lays his eyes down on the child that’s being accompanied by an older woman, likely her mother.     Momoko doesn’t like this. She prefers silence. It’s muffled, but she can detect the ringing laughter of the little girl. Her eye twitches once again. A sharp inhale.     “Come on, Chihiro-tan,” the mother says, “See? Look at this pretty flower. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” (crouching down, she hands a small pot to her daughter, which hesitantly holds it goofily as children usually do.)     “Hum... it’s cute...” a picky kid, Momoko irritatedly thinks. Just talk already. “But I saw prettier flowers outside...”     “Hmmm? Like what flowers? Wanna show them to me?”     “Okay!”

Ah. They’re going to get out.     She’s still standing there. Momoko, pitifully, has become engrossed in overhearing witnessing everything this mother and daughter will end up doing in the exact spot where she’d decided to touch and analyze her favourite flowers. Even though she’s aware that this is not a place for her to claim, she feels as if they’ve invaded her territory. Thus, as such, she wants to monitor their every move, no matter how naive they might be. (You never know.)     Maybe she should step aside, leave some space for the two individuals to move; but Momoko decides against it, instead keeping her stance firm right in front of the shelf where hydrangea pots of all varieties are placed. Her hand is still reaching out to feel the petals, which are soft... tender... more tender than the others’. She tried to find good contenders, but up until now, only hydrangeas really feel this way to her.     The door’s bells chirp once again, their sound dying easily and quickly.     “Show me, Chihiro-tan! If you like those flowers so much,” the woman winks at the kid, “You can have it, okay?”     “Yay~!!” the kid seems positively excited about the proposal, but she easily sneaks a mischievously pout after her exclamation, “... but what about ice-cream?”      A drained, but defeated sigh is emitted right after.  “It seems I have no way to distract you from that, huh...” she pauses, before patting her daughter’s head. “Fine, we can have ice-cream too. But first let’s see the flowers.”     Momoko tenses. She’s still staring at the hydrangeas, but she’s also dying of curiosity. She wants to see what this girl looks like. Her voice’s not the same, it’s barely similar, but the way she acts, it’s...     “U-um,” she can hear a stutter, and that still isn’t enough to have her turn her head. “Those... those flowers...” the glee in the child’s voice has disappeared within seconds, and Momoko initially wonders why, but only for a split second before she can hear the girl mutter:

... Where the creepy lady is standing...     That’s right, is her first thought. But she still doesn’t move, not even after having been basically imputed as a nuisance. She’s not here to buy flowers, she’s just been standing and staring and breathing uselessly since minutes, now. What reason is behind her presence? The kid is scared, isn’t she? What’s her problem?     Her fingers eventually take a gentle hold of a petal, before ripping it off the flower with a swift, harsh motion. The little girl gasps when she does that, but her mother doesn’t seem to notice it, although she does look concerned (upon having noticed Momoko as well). Nevertheless, after making sure “Chihiro-tan” is okay, and after propping her upon her forearm, she stands and begins to approach. A mediocre middle-aged woman.     “Excuse me,” she politely initiates, “Could you please let us see the flowers?” there’s seemingly no passive aggressiveness in the way she talks, but Momoko’s eye still twitches. Slowly, she turns her head to face the stranger, whose expression abruptly turns grim at the mere sight.     (That’s right. I’m the creep. You better be fucking scared.)     Momoko’s eyes eventually lay on the daughter---her curiosity’s dying to know---and the breath in her throat hitches as soon as she registers that the kid has a pixie cut. No pigtails.     What a shame.     “... Ah, me?” Momoko says, slowly, faking ignorance. The woman nods, trying to evidently keep her composure. “...” her own eyes fall on the petal that she’s ripped from the hydrangea which she had been caressing since not long ago. “... This is a beautiful flower,” her croaky voice spells out, dirty nails probing at the fragile texture of the petal almost brutally, “To appreciate it, you ought to cherish it everyday.”     “...”     “...  Sorry. I’ll move.”     Politeness isn’t her strong suit, and it shows. Nonetheless, Momoko can’t stay there any more, since mantaining her presence there might eventually prompt the shop owner to step outside and confront her. She doesn’t need that waste of time. All she wanted to do was to look at her favourite flower, feel its softness, let the memories linger...     ... It’s that child’s fucking fault, Momoko reasons as she walks away, mumbling and growling under her breath as her hands are shoved inside her coat’s pockets. The petal she grabbed before is nothing more than light blue remnants scattered on the sidewalk by now. That kid, Momoko ponders, barely realizing what’s going on in the real world as she marches on, that kid...  too much. She’s too much like...

Her thoughts are interrupted as soon as she reaches the subway station.

[conoscenze]

HORRIFIC MEMES SPOOKY MUSE AESTHETICS.

Bold all of the themes that apply to your muse’s aesthetic or mood as a character, italicize aesthetics that can relate.

Repost, please do not reblog!

bloodied knuckles ● tear stained cheeks ● rust ● a busted lip ● claws ● fangs  ●  a bloody nose ●  chattering teeth ● a dark space underneath the bed  ● scratching noises on a wall ● creaking metal  ● fog ● dancing under moonlight ● blood dripping lips  ● heavy breathing in the dark  ● a feeling of unexplained dread  ● a figure in a dark corner ● dirty peeling wallpaper ● a bloody hand-print on the wall ● sobbing in the dark ● bite marks on the skin ● eerie whispers  ● a hood covering a stranger’s eyes  ● the growl of a hidden animal  ● the sound of a blade being sharpened ● a deep, dark forest ● walking on the streets alone at night ● a cobweb-filled, abandoned building ●  eyes darting in paranoia ● a heavy beating pulse ● the feeling of being trapped ●  struggling to get out a scream ● boards covering broken windows  ● a quiet graveyard ● a gas station in the middle of nowhere  ● a road that never ends ● heavy fog rolling in  ● the scent of blood in the air ● eerie old photographs ● walking along train-tracks at night  ● a chill going up the spine ● gathering crows ● a dusty, dimly lit study ● mist over a deserted cobblestone street ● ghost towns  ● shadows around a campfire ●   the sound of chanting  ● church bells tolling  ● an orange harvest moon ● a broken down carnival ● a dirty stuffed animal abandoned ● wiping bloody hands on fabric ● nightmares ● waking up in a panic ● a power outage  ● heavy lightning storms ● a secret trap door  ● the feeling of being watched  ●  fear from trauma  ● an ouija board set out on a table  ● an eerie doll ●  a scream of anguish and pain ● withered plants ● a room that’s been forgotten and gathered dust ● owl eyes in the dark ● curled, dead tree branches ● a ritual altar  ● flickering candles ● a lantern held up in the dark ● fear of being followed  ● creaking floorboards  ● repressed, horrible memories ● clenched teeth ● soft, echoing piano keys ● an old book covered in dust ● many pairs of glaring eyes ● stumbling in pitch black darkness ● being stranded in the middle of nowhere  ● tarot cards on a table  ● a trail of blood

Tagged by: stolen from kiki!! Tagging: if you want to, steal it!

[conoscenze]

BOLD ALL THAT APPLIES TO YOUR MUSE // feel free to add more!

eyes:  blue (sometimes wears contacts) | green | brown | hazel | black | grey | red | other | golden & grey | gold & brown-black

hair:   blonde | brown | black | red | ginger | grey / white | multi-color | other

body type:  skinny | slender | slim | built | curvy | athletic | muscular

skin:   pale | light | fair | freckled | tan | olive | medium | dark | discolored | scarred

gender:   male | female | trans | cis | no gender | agender | demiboy | demigirl | other

sexuality:  heterosexual | homosexual | bisexual | pansexual | asexual | demisexual | other

orientation:  heteroromantic | homoromantic | biromantic | panromantic | aromantic | demiromantic | other

species:   human | undead / vampire | shapeshifter | demon | angel | witch / wizard / sorcerer | incubus / succubus | other

education:  high school  | college | university | higher education | other | no formal education

living situation: lives alone | lives with parents / guardian | lives with significant other | lives with a friend | lives with siblings | drifter | dorming | homeless

parents / guardian:  mom | aunt | dad | adoptive | foster | grandparents | family friend | orphan | abandoned

relationship:  single | crushing | dating | engaged | married | separated | it’s complicated

i’ve been:  in love | hurt | sick | abused | killed

i have a(n):  learning disorder | personality disorder | mental disorder | anxiety disorder | eating disorder | substance-related disorder | not diagnosed | n / a

things i’ve done before:  drank alcohol | smoked | done drugs | stolen | self-harmed | starved myself | been starved | had sex | had a threesome | gotten into a fist fight | gone to the hospital | been arrested | gone to jail | used a fake id | gone to a rave | killed someone

positive traits:  affectionate | adventurous | athletic | brave | careful | charming | confident | creative | determined | fearless | generous | honest | humorous | intelligent | loyal | modest  | patient | selfless

negative traits:  aggressive | bossy | cynical | envious | fearful | greedy | gullible | jealous | impatient | impulsive | insecure | irresponsible | possessive | sarcastic | self-conscious | selfish | unstable

tagged by:  @slaughter-angel​ (thank youuuu!) tagging:  @duskfloret, @wholehcartedly, @hyacinthsgirl, @votvm (no pressure, only if you want!)

[conoscenze]

kaede // dating pros and cons.

PROS.

She’s an excellent listener, and generally good at giving advice too. Having been through a lot of stuff herself, she’s come to terms with the fact that keeping it in is useless and makes things worse than they could be; she encourages venting, and if need be, she will give you her opinion on the matters at hand.

Very affectionate once she gets comfortable enough. Kaede is incredibly touch-starved, and if you’ll allow it, holding hands without warning and sudden hugs are to be a regular thing. She loves cuddling too, going by this basis.

She will always ask consent. For everything. Kaede’s terrified of overstepping boundaries, so you can be sure that she’ll ask you if you’re okay with this and that.

Very meticulous and precise, and never skips a minute with dates. So you can be assured that she’s going to be there in time if you have organized something (if she’s written it in her notebook, of course).

Kaede will do her absolute best in trying to remember anything she deems important when it comes to you. Her memory’s shit and she normally would be resigned to this, but if it comes to her special someone, she will be super determined in not forgetting even the tiniest detail. It may sound creepy, but she’d genuinely be doing such a big effort.

She is... very corny. Not the highest level of corny, but enough to make someone exhale an endeared sigh. Consider an example her leaving cute sticky notes behind for her partner to see (usually stuff like “have a good day, I love you!”).

Kaede’s not exactly romantic. Well, no, she isn’t romantic at all. At best, she can be clumsy and awkward in an attempt to act romantic, and it’s a fairly cute spectacle. Think about witnessing a flustered woman that keeps talking over herself in an attempt to be smooth and flirty: that’d be Kaede. What a show.

She’s very blunt with her problems and what she feels is wrong in a relationship, pronto, no matter the type. So, if you do something that disturbs her, 90% of the time she’ll tell you straight away about it, without running around it. She’s very direct and is tired of vague sentiments and half-assed truths.

If her partner pressures her enough, she will eventually attempt to give up most of her worrying addictions. Alcohol and coffee would definitely tone down with time, smoking following at last place (if they both survive till elderly age, given).

As I said, she may not be smooth, but she is ... bold. If you like the types that go for what they want right away, she’s the one. If she wants to kiss you, she will ask you and do it without batting an eye---if she wants to hug you, she will do just that.

With time, she will eventually tell you about things like her deal with mental illness and why she constantly goes to the hospital (she wouldn’t want to disclose why right away with a person of interest in fear of driving them away). It may sound flimsy, but for her it would be... big. Nobody outside of her main medics and her aunt and Rika knows about what the hell is up with her---not like she knows any better herself---so it’d be incredibly huge on her part on being honest about this.

She’d make more of an effort in being kinder to herself. Though she doesn’t explicitly self-deprecate her person, she does find herself, to some extent, unlovable. Seeing another care so much for her would eventually make her understand that despite all of the abuse she is worth it. What happened doesn’t define her and it never will.

If you need help with maths, Kaede is a math goddess. You’ll get free maths tutoring if you need it!

Will sing you old jazz and blues love song, because jazz and blues are her favourite genres, and you’d be her favourite person. Makes sense to her.

Since she works in a cat café, if you like cats you’ll get tons of free coupons.

CONS.

An obvious first con is that her memory is shit. And I am very serious about it. If you don’t make an incredible first impression (or if you don’t see her writing down your name in her notebook) rest assured that the next time you meet she not remember you---this is even more likely to happen if you meet again more than a week apart.

She is afraid of change, and is very stubborn as a plus. This means that initially, trying to get her to change about her habits and how she views herself might be very very difficult, if not even a breaking point if you insist on it.

Smells like cigarettes and alcohol, ergo not a super nice odor. Also a bit like cat food, due to her job.

Though she willingly listens to her partner go on about their problems, she has a lot of difficulty doing the same. For her, venting is something entirely new, and she’s only ever done it so far with professionals that are used to “handling cases like her”. She’s afraid doing the same with her partner might ruin the relationship, so she would initially very scared of reciprocating the gesture, often saying that “she’s perfectly fine and doesn’t need any help”.

While she is very physically affectionate as mentioned above, when it comes to skin-on-skin things Kaede gets very tense. This, mainly referring to sex. This isn’t inherently a con, but it basically implies that you’ll need to be very very very very patient if you are interested in eventually having sex with her. (Also consider that she’s mostly ignorant on the matter from a practical point of view.)

Being drunk for her is a recurrence, so you might deal with that sometimes. If she’s overly drunk you’ll likely have to manage Kaede in a very depressive state---it’s happened before that she attempted dangerous things while inebriated.

She’s terribly careless, if you couldn’t tell. She’ll sleep on a public bench without thinking about it much and won’t even utter an “ouch” if she dangerously scrapes her knee. Taking care of herself, again, is optional in her opinion.

Caffeine, nicotine and alcohol, along with her meds, can lead her to have sometimes aggressive outbursts that don’t really get physical, but that can be very energy-draining for her.

If you’re allergic to cats, I’m sorry. She’s covered 24/7 in cat fur.

If you rely a lot on text messaging or social media, don’t count on Kaede, because she is a grandma with cellphones. She barely knows how to operate basic functions and a single application thanks to her friends. She’s a quick-learner, but for some reason getting the hang of this is incredibly though---expect her to reply to a text 10 hours later because she couldnt understand how to put a question mark at the end.

I can’t think of any more because she’s actually one of the best girls to date.

[conoscenze]

WHAT SHAPE DOES YOUR PAIN TAKE?

GHOSTS.

Your pain takes the shape of ghosts, haunting you, always there. No one would believe you if you told them, or understand even if they did. You don't know how to make them go away, or what they want. They just follow you, casting shadows over all you do, being your fears and the embodiment of all you've lost or are afraid of losing.

They can't touch you though... Can they?