#momlenia

[catcas22]

Malenia, Blade of Miquella

After her soul shattered beneath the Aeonian Bloom, Malenia was left with only her name. Her achievements and her sins, her pride and her legacy, all were stripped away by the madness of the Scarlet Rot.

Even with the Rot held at bay by Miquella's needle, she could not truly return to what she once was. Wounds may heal, but that which is severed remains lost.

When the daughters of Rot journeyed to the Haligtree, Malenia refused to reclaim the fragments of her soul. Though they had grown into neither lords nor gods, her children would not be sacrifices.

Perhaps more of Malenia's true self remained than she imagined. Throughout her decades of madness, only her name had been left to her. But even then, a fragment of her true nature remained -- she was Malenia, the Blade of Miquella. What could be a truer expression of her sense of self, than to endure her severing and provide a safe haven in spite of all that she had lost?

[bri-the-nautilus]

i love youtube thumbnails so much

[catcas22]

From Unalloyed Chapter 12. I drew something similar awhile back, but I like the way this one turned out better.

[catcas22]

Unalloyed Epilogue, Part 1

So I basically have no plans for where this is going. It's basically just all of the characters emotionally decompressing after the events of Unalloyed. If you want fluff/fluff+angst without plot, you're in the right place. I'll be adding to this as inspiration strikes.

            “I cannot compel you to live, if you are determined otherwise. But you will not sacrifice yourself for my sake.”

            Malenia released Millicent’s hand and waited, alert to the slightest of sounds. She waited for a shift in the air, a rustle of clothing, anything that might indicate a move toward the needle. She heard only the crackling of the Haligtree’s dry leaves and the slow, shuddering breaths of someone trying to hold back tears.

            A sob cut through the silence, stifled just as abruptly.

            She reached out, hand hovering just short of where she knew Millicent to be. The girl had been so wary of her, nearly recoiling at every touch. Malenia moved slowly, leaving space for Millicent to pull away if she so desired. Her fingertips brushed the sharp angle of an elbow. Millicent offered no resistance when Malenia nudged her forward.

            Very carefully, she drew the girl -- her daughter -- into her embrace. Another sob, sharp and ragged. Malenia had scarce experience comforting people, but the words came easily enough. Here, at least, she knew what to say. She knew what she had longed to hear when she was Millicent’s age.

            “You are not a plague. Not a curse. You are my daughter, Millicent, and you are home.”

            Millicent’s arm remained limp at her side, but she leaned into the embrace, and she wept, sounding as if her heart were being torn from her chest with each sob. Malenia held her, silently rubbing her back until the sobs turned to quiet tears, and then to soft, shaky breathing.

            “Come with me.” She carefully turned Millicent away from the edge and back toward the Haligtree, keeping an arm around her shoulders. “The Rot is not a death sentence, not here. We can help you.”

***

            The short journey ended in Miquella’s study. She had allowed Malenia to lead her, too exhausted to question.

            As she slumped into the offered chair, Millicent vaguely recalled that she’d left her arm at the top of the Haligtree. For the moment, she couldn’t bring herself to care.

            The duty of certain death had evaporated, and with it the unbearable tension that had driven her onward since Ordina. Now she felt hollow, adrift in the void where she had once held an unshakeable purpose, however terrible it might have been.

            Miquella entered before she could think to gather herself. He took in her missing arm, the half-dried tears on her face. Golden eyes flooded with concern, asking questions she lacked the will to answer.

            “She is not a natural-born child.” Malenia’s words would have cut if not for the hand that still enveloped her shoulder, warm and heavy. “She tells me that she was formed from the Rot itself.”

            Miquella’s gaze darted from his sister back to Millicent. “You couldn’t be one of the kindred. If you were born entirely of Rot, my needle would have killed you.”

            “She carries a piece of our shared soul, cast off after the Battle of Aeonia.”

            Millicent forced her voice to rouse. “I didn’t lie to you,” she rasped, “at the Temple. I didn’t know what I was then.”

            He nodded slowly. She could already see his agile mind slotting the pieces together. “But you remembered after Ordina?”

            Malenia squeezed her shoulder. She could feel the pressure building in her chest once more, though she’d been sure she had no more tears to shed. “I’m sorry.”

            She couldn’t look at him. He wouldn’t be angry at her deception. He’d be hurt, and that would be worse.

            “Millicent, you could have told me.”

            “I wanted to, but...” The words choked off, and she sucked in a sharp breath. “I never meant to endanger the Haligtree, but I had to return what I had stolen from Malenia. I never thought I’d survive--”

            Talons clicked against the wooden floor. For the second time, she was enveloped in a warm embrace. Miquella’s arms wove around her, as if he could curl his lanky body into a protective cocoon.

            “Millicent...”

            Fresh tears poured down her cheeks. She felt sure that she’d wept more in the past hour than she had in her life, but now that she’d started she couldn’t seem to stop. How long they remained like that, Miquella’s heartbeat against her cheek and Malenia’s hand pressing reassuringly against her back, she neither knew nor cared. A spark of warmth ignited in the void, and for now that was enough.

            “Can she be helped?” Malenia’s soft query broke the silence. “The Rot is a parasite upon me, while she is at least partially formed of it. Would a cure for me be poison to her?”

            “The needle worked as intended,” he affirmed. “There is hope. She’s more herself than she is the Rot.”

            He leaned out of the embrace, just enough for Millicent to see his smile. “You didn’t entirely fool me, you know. I had my suspicions that we were all of a set.”

            Millicent smiled back, and for once it didn’t feel like a mask.

[catcas22]

Unalloyed Epilogue Part 4

This is going to be a two-parter.

            Millicent trailed a hand across the surcoat, tracing the ensign of the Haligtree embossed into the leather. The garment was not dissimilar to Malenia’s usual attire, a simple covering meant to be worn over light armor.

            It was not strictly necessary to wear it here, safely within the borders of Elphael, but Millicent kept it on all the same. The surcoat marked her as Malenia’s squire. It served as a final reassurance, a promise that she was a true member of the Haligtree and not just a stray that the twins had taken in out of pity.

            She was glad of the extra layer of warmth as she made her way toward the city walls. The messenger had directed her to the stables near the east gate, where the outriders typically housed their mounts. Arriving at the low stone building, Millicent ducked through the open door and waited for her eyes to adjust to the lantern light.

            Malenia stood in the closest stall, tending to a wolf the size of a knight’s destrier. The animal’s fur glowed the color of embers, painting a warm reflection across Malenia’s golden arm. With careful hands, she traced the wolf’s harness, examining the various straps and buckles by touch.

            The examination finished with a collar of unalloyed gold, a thick band of metal cushioned by interwoven strips of leather. Apparently satisfied with the wolf’s trappings, Malenia straightened and dusted her hands of.

            Millicent cleared her throat, finally remembering the need to announce her presence. “You sent for me?”

            Her mother turned to face her, smiling in greeting. “Indeed I did.” She patted the animal’s side. “Have you ever ridden a wolf?”

            “I can’t say that I have.” Millicent approached cautiously, offering the wolf her hand the way that Latenna had showed her. The beast leaned down and pressed his cold muzzle into her palm. “Am I going to learn?”

            “Eventually. Today I had something else in mind.” Malenia raised a hand to her face, touching the scarring under her eyes. “I get around the Haligtree well enough, but I haven’t ventured out into the Consecrated Snowfield in decades. Would you be willing to serve as my eyes for an afternoon?”

            It was a rather obvious excuse to spend time together, one that Millicent was grateful for. “Of course!”

            “Excellent.” Malenia smiled. “Miquella is finally willing to let me out of his sight, and I feel the need to stretch my legs.”

***

            Millicent did as she’d been instructed, gripping with her knees and leaning forward to lower her center of gravity. The rocky terrain raced by, the miles eaten up by the wolf’s steady lope.

            “Call out when you see a good place to stop.” Malenia gestured toward the two blunt practice blades tied alongside the saddle. “Look for a flat open space.”

            The wolf tensed and then leapt, clearing an outcropping of small boulders in a single bound. Millicent instinctively leaned forward, moving with the wolf to avoid being jolted by the landing.

            Malenia glanced over her shoulder. “You say you’ve never ridden a wolf before?”

            While she’d never held the reins herself, Millicent had ridden behind Latenna a handful of times. As she debated whether to divulge this information, Malenia spoke up again.

            “Did your friend teach you? The wolf-rider you’ve been sneaking out with?”

            An instant of unadulterated panic cost both her concentration and her grip on the wolf. She would have gone tumbling off of the animal’s back had Malenia’s hand not snapped back and caught her by the front of her shirt.

            Drawing back on the reins with her free hand, Malenia guided the wolf to halt and helped her dismount. Her expression hovered between concern and amusement as she released her grip and carefully straightened Millicent’s rumpled tabard.

            “Calm yourself. I was only teasing.” Her smile widened at Millicent’s huff of feigned annoyance. “I have no objections. She seems like a good sort.”

            Millicent breathed an internal sigh of relief. The last thing she wanted was for Latenna to be subjected to a “what are your intentions with my daughter” talk from Malenia. She could imagine few things more terrifying.

            Malenia ruffled her hair, gentle despite her great strength. “Bring your sword. You handled yourself quite well at our first meeting, but I still have a few tricks to teach you.”

[catcas22]

Unalloyed Part 12

Last chapter! Thank you so much to everyone who stayed for the full story, you guys are amazing!

CW for suicidal ideation.

The Prosthesis-Wearer Heirloom. A talisman engraved with a scene from a heroic tale.

Though born into the accursed rot, when the young girl encountered her mentor and his flowing blade, she gained wings of unparalleled strength.

            It had been two days since her duel. Malenia would be awake soon.

            Millicent set both her sword and her arm aside and sat on the edge of the branch, legs hanging over the side. This was a secluded place, nearly as high up as the waygate. She did not expect to be disturbed.

            She was alive, and she shouldn’t be.

            None of her plans had accounted for surviving her battle with Malenia. She was meant to die a hero. She had hoped to at least be remembered fondly by her companions, even if she could not remain with them.

            They would guess the truth, surely, after she withered away. They would know what she really was.

            Millicent shrugged off her cloak and untied her sleeve. She wavered, hand hovering over the needle embedded in her shoulder. It was selfish to hesitate. She had served her purpose, she had brought Miquella home. Every moment she continued to draw breath threatened the safety of the Haligtree.

            She wished that she could have said a proper goodbye. But Miquella might guess at her intentions. He might try to stop her.

            She steeled her nerves and reached for the needle.

            “May I join you?”

            Millicent sprang to her feet, hand flying to her belt where her sword would typically rest. She caught herself, forced herself to relax her stance. Logically, she had no cause to fear Malenia. Now purged of her madness, the voice that had seemed so cold and merciless in the root-chamber now seemed almost friendly.

            Malenia approached with measured steps, unbothered by the towering height of their perch. She carried neither sword nor helm, although her arm was still in place.

            She ought to say something, but her throat locked shut. Millicent curled her remaining hand into a fist to stop it shaking.

            If she could find me here, she must be able to sense my soul, as she and Miquella can sense each other. She knows that I used to be a part of her. She knows what I am.

            Malenia leaned against an offshoot of the main branch, her expression tense. Despite the difficulty of reading a face without eyes, Millicent thought she seemed almost nervous.

            “Miquella spoke very highly of you.” Her face remained angled slightly to Millicent’s left, as if avoiding non-existent eye contact. “I know you have little enough cause to think of me as your mother, but rest assured that you are welcome here--”

            “I’m not your daughter.”

            The outburst came unbidden. Millicent snapped her jaw shut. Better to tell her now. Better to get it over with.

            Malenia paused, head tilted. “I know. I never bore any children. But you are undeniably family of some sort.”

            The shaking spread up her arm, even as she clenched her fist until her nails bit into her palm. Pressure thundered between her temples. “I’m not your blood. I... I’m just a broken piece.” She didn’t dare look up at Malenia. “I was born in the Lake of Rot. When you Bloomed, the kindred stole a piece of your soul. I was meant to carry our curse to the rest of the world.”

            Tears broke through, streaming down her cheeks. “I won’t do it. I won’t be their plague-bearer, I won’t hurt anyone else!” Her hand flew to the needle. “I’ll let the Rot consume me before it’s strong enough to bloom, no one else has to die.”

            A hand shot out, gold-banded fingers enveloping her own. Gently but firmly, her hand was drawn away from her shoulder and pressed between palms of gold and of scarred flesh.

            “I contained the Scarlet Rot within myself for a lifetime.” Malenia’s voice scarcely rose above a whisper, low and fervent. “A second Bloom is not inevitable.”

            “But you failed.” She hung her head, still unable to look Malenia in the face. “And I’m not as strong as you.”             The silence dragged on, unbearable. Millicent waited, shoulders tight with suppressed sobs. She waited for Malenia to reach for the needle, or to simply release her hand and walk away.

            “I chose to unleash the Rot.”

            Millicent finally looked up, and she saw the pain written across Malenia’s face.

            “I was not overpowered by my curse. I had my reasons, or excuses, if you prefer. I will not recite them here.” Malenia took a deep breath and forged on. “The first Bloom was my choice, not my fate. You are not doomed to repeat my mistakes.”

            The revelation hit her like a quarrel to the chest. For a moment, she dared to hope. Then she remembered what she was, a false life running off of a stolen soul.

            “What about you? Everything that I am, I stole from you. As long as I live, you can never be whole.”

            “Millicent.” It was the first time Malenia had used her name. Golden fingers remained curled around her hand. A scar-roughened palm moved to cradle her cheek. “I have never been whole. And yet I always found reason to endure.”

            Tears blinded her. The whole world narrowed to the gentle touch against her face and the voice that should have been full of blame, but instead offered empathy.

            “If we remain separated, then I will endure, as I always have. If we became one, you would cease to be.” Malenia slowly released her hand, although she did not withdraw her touch. “I cannot compel you to live, if you are determined otherwise. But you will not sacrifice yourself for my sake.”

            Millicent’s hand dropped to her side, heavier than a stone. The ache in her chest twisted, worse even than the writhing of the Scarlet Rot. A sob broke through, and she bit down to stem the tide.

            Malenia stepped closer, slowly reaching out. Millicent could have pulled away, if she wished. She remained rooted to the spot. A light touch on her elbow tugged her forward. Large hands settled gingerly on her back.

            Another sob tore free, then another. She slumped into Malenia’s embrace, buried her face in the layered cloth of her tabard. The Empyrean’s arms tightened, the golden hand holding her upright while the living hand tenderly stroked her hair.

            “You are not a plague. Not a curse.” Her mother held her protectively close. “You are my daughter, Millicent, and you are home.”

[catcas22]

Unalloyed Epilogue Part 5

... Okay I lied, this is going to be a three-parter.

            Malenia approached the training session with an open mind. Her memories of her brief duel with Millicent were clouded by rot-madness, and she had yet to accurately take the measure of the girl’s abilities.

            After two warmup bouts, a pattern began to emerge. While Millicent demonstrated an impressive natural talent, she was very obviously self-taught. Inherited muscle memory surely played a role, but Malenia was reluctant to broach the subject even within her own thoughts. Regardless of the truth of where her memories ended and her daughter’s began, it seemed wrong to think of Millicent as a simple extension of herself.

            Malenia spent the bulk of the session reviewing the basics, simple tenants of footwork, grip, and leverage. Millicent was a quick study, and Malenia couldn’t help but smile at her daughter’s obvious excitement as the simple adjustments to her technique yielded results.

            A fresh chill in the air reminded her of encroaching nightfall.

            Malenia whistled for the wolf. As she listened to the beast’s paws crunch through the snow, she shrugged off her cape and passed it to Millicent. The girl had grown up in Caelid, after all. “Here. If I’m cold, you must be freezing.”

            The fact that Millicent accepted with hardly any protest confirmed her assumption.

            The ride back to Ordina passed without incident. But the moment her feet touched the snow she knew that something was wrong.

            Malenia had known for some time now that Millicent was not her only offspring. Her daughter had confessed the truth of the matter in Miquella’s study, shortly after he raised the possibility of a cure.

            “I... I have sisters. Four of them.” She stumbled over her words, half apologetic and half insistent. “They were raised to serve the God of Rot, but they’re not monsters, not any more than I am.”

            Malenia had reassured her at the time, agreeing that her kin would be helped if at all possible. Orders had been given to the Ordina garrison that the four should be taken alive in the event of an attack. Scouts had been sent out to scour the borders of Elphael, but for better or worse Millicent’s sisters appeared to have dropped off the face of the earth.

            Even before she heard Millicent shout out a warning, Malenia sensed the approach of one of the wayward fragments of her soul.

***

            Malenia’s hand fell to her shoulder. With terrifying speed, her mother pulled her back and interposed herself between Millicent and the figure emerging from the falling snow. Millicent hadn’t even seen her reach for her sword, yet the golden blade already gleamed in her hand.

            The figure stumbled, hands held up. “Wait!” She drew a curved sword from beneath her cloak, only to toss it at Malenia’s feet. “Please, I swear I’m not here to fight.”

            She was closer now, close enough for Millicent to make out her features. Delving into the fragmented memories of her childhood, she managed to dredge up a name. “Pollyanna?”

            She looked awful. Blood oozed from her bandaged eye, trickling slowly over chalk-white skin. Despite the frost clinging to her clothes and hair, sweat dampened her brow. Her remaining eye fixed on Millicent, bloodshot and dilated.

            “You’re still alive?” A coughing fit nearly sent her to her knees. Malenia remained as she was, face inscrutable. “Then... Then there’s a way to stop it? If you didn’t bloom, then...”

            Millicent watched as her sister succumbed to another round of coughing, her own throat locked shut as if by a vise.

            Malenia took a careful step forward, her sword lowered for now. “It was my understanding that you and your sisters wished her dead.”

            The younger girl took several shaky steps back, bloody lips trembling. “He said the pain would end if one of us Bloomed. But... but you found another way, didn’t you?” A shudder gripped her entire body. All her words came tumbling out at once, broken only by near-hyperventilating breaths. “I slipped away from the others, I just want it to stop. Please, I don’t want to die!”

            The sword snapped back into its place alongside Malenia’s arm with a metallic whine. “Millicent, fetch your uncle.” With two long strides, she crossed the distance and scooped Pollyanna into her arms as easily as most would carry a small child. “I can’t risk a Bloom within the Haligtree. Look for us at the Ordina infirmary.”

[catcas22]

The Real Reason I Drew Them All

Now I'm trying to imagine them all at the same dinner table...

[catcas22]

Since y’all seemed to like Momlenia, here’s a follow up.

I fully stand by @bimbomcgee and his headcanon that

A) Malenia doesn’t quite know how to give hugs, but still does her best, and

B) Millicent is extremely touch-starved.

[catcas22]

Thank you @cyberroses and everyone who got me to 100 reblogs!

“As long as I am alive, you will never be whole.”

“Child, I have never been whole. I have always lived with a shared soul and a broken body. And yet I found reasons to endure, people who made the pain bearable, a cause worth holding myself together for.”

“…”

“If we remain separated, I will endure, as I always have. But if we become one, you will cease to be. I will not accept your sacrifice.”