#moment is kinda hapy... cathartic

[hauntingblue]

Arlong park musings

First things first, these beauties in the art gallery.

What I believe is inspiration for the alabasta bath scene (also what is usopp doing there lmao, but most importantly how Zoro nor Luffy are there begs questioning for how the current readers saw them). And first ever Luffy chad?????

This actually parallels nami believing in luffy when he dies in wano. Nami believing in him making him "resuscitate"

And what makes me more insane is Luffy making nami smile again and promising to keep it that way:

Surprisingly I don't have much to say because I have said it all I think. Luffy nami twins together in the womb together in the tomb like this 🤞 etc etc

I can't put more pictures but arlong yapping about how humans are inferior and can't do anything and Luffy getting the strength to finish arlong when he realises how badly nami was treated like..... Which is funny bc arlong got mad and Luffy was still beating him but when Luffy got mad.... It was arlongver... Also arlong saying how Luffy couldn't use nami as good as him and how Luffy doesn't intend to do that even if he still needs her bc they are truly a crew and not a leader and his slaves...

[zalaznyart]

[Kinda Spoiler of twelvefifteen if someone isn't following it] So, here is my point: The "Death Party" (the weird moment that Dee is reunited with his "perfect" parents) I'd really like to talk about it. Here's the thing: The whole realization that Dee's developing in that scenes. First, denying reality, then fake hapiness, figuring out that something is clearly wrong and then the panel of him shouting it. And the cake (that I would really like to thing it's his conscience) It's amazing!

Ah, thank you!! And yes, spoilers of sorts to follow:

It’s funny, because originally that scene was just sort of stuck in that spot as a hallucination, because I didn’t know how else to fit in a random birthday party. I have a timeline sort of figured out to fit in all the different points in the music video, but that scene in the video is shot so oddly that it always felt more like a dream sequence/memory than anything and as I was trying to figure out what to do with it, I was like ‘What the heck, it can be a weird hallucination he has while getting his kidney stolen!’

And then it sort of became more complicated than that.

On the part of the cultists, it’s intended to be a sort of euphoric state that they put Dee in through a mix of drugs and witchcraft, designed to keep him docile during their ritual. It’s the bastardization of a happy memory for him with, as you said, ‘perfect parents’. For Dee, however, it’s so much more than that. I really love the way you described it as a scene of development for him, because it really is intended as that! When I started the comic, I didn’t have a whole lot of the storyline figured out beyond the rough timeline I’d patched together, so I’m having a lot of fun developing Dee’s character (and the characters around him) as it goes along!

Incidentally, the panels where he announces that he’s not happy, that he’s actually very sad, were really cathartic for me to draw. It’s hard sometimes to admit things like that, and harder still to stand up for yourself when people try to dismiss it.

I also like the idea of the cake being his conscience, but alas that’s not exactly the case, though the person responsible is going to show up soon!

[littlefrenchiefangirl]

It’s July 19th and I’m turning 19 today so it’s time for a yearly introspection lmao so buckle up folks I don’t know how long this post is going to be.

Two years ago on this day I just came out to my best friend, by text because I wasn’t able to tell her face to face. Partly because we kinda drifted apart at this time due to life problems and partly because we were both figuring out our sexual identity ( not easy to do when you go to a Catholic high school in a little town with homophobic folks lmao). So yeah, I was not doing good at this point of my life, internal struggles and all. I felt suffocated so I reached out to her, telling her I was a lesbian ( spoiler alert I still am, more than ever if possible). And she just took it so well it was a breath of fresh air in my life. She also came out to me this night and we were closer than ever once again and from now on whatever happened we had each other’s back.

During high school we made friends, with whom we’re still very close even if we don’t see each other as often as before. Last year on this day I came out to them during a small party. I’m an emotional drunk and I was quite tipsy ( apparently drunk me has no filter ). And they asked me questions, some stupid ones, some very interesting, but they were so supportive and so proud of me for telling them, we hugged it out with me crying from sheer hapiness in the middle of them ( btw, group hug where you are in the middle are awesome but it also feels like you’re fighting with an octopus). So yeah I’ll be forever grateful for my friends.

Around the end of March, the beginning of April this year, I came out to my brother in the most random way possible lmao. No build up, no long talk before, I just blurted it out during a car ride. He told me he already knew, that he had figured it out a long time before I was even ready to come to terms with my sexuality. Two weeks ago I came out to my mom and it was such a relief, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I didn’t cry when she said she’d loved me no matter what, that I’ll always be her daughter, that it didn’t matter who I love. I didn’t cry in front of her, but the next day I was alone at home and I cried my heart out, all the doubts I had, all the fear, the relief, the uncertainty that comes with coming out... I cried for at least an hour, sitting on the living room floor, smiling so wide my cheeks hurt. It was a cathartic moment for me, and one I’ll probably always remember tbh. Of course I’m not out to all my family, hell my dad doesn’t even know I’m gay. But coming out is a slow process, and it’s as nervewracking as it is healing. So I’m out to the people I love ( dont get me wrong I love my dad but i genuinely don’t know how he’ll react). 

Of course during this time I had a few bad experiences, people I came out too, by sliding a comment in a conversation, who stopped talking to me out of the blue afterwards, tactile people who wouldn’t even look me in the eyes anymore...  Some took their time and came back to talk to me, some I’ve never seen again, some who began to question their sexuality even. Anyway, coming out is always scary, you don’t know how the people you love will react. For that I’ll forever be thankful for the universe or whatever deity out there to bring those friends into my life, online and irl friends, they are all a part of my growing process, and I wish they knew how much they matter to me. If only I wasn’t so emotionally stilted lmao.

During this time when I was in the closet, I wasn’t really miserable but I wasn’t exactly happy either. I was monitoring everything little thing I did, I still catch myself doing it sometimes, out of habit. I would always think about the way I dressed, the way I talked, the way I walked for fear of being outed. But during my time in the closet, I grew up, watching lgbtq+ content on the Internet, looking up to openly lgbt+ celebrities, secretly smiling at a gay couple holding hands in the streets, or queer people in my high school who would kiss in front of homophobic people to show them that queer people exist and they live their life freely, not caring about the judmental stares of bigots. So even if they don’t see this post, I’d like to thank them, seeing openly out lgbt people is so important when you are struggling with your sexuality yourself. It made my heart warm, it gave me hope that maybe one day I could have this kind of freedom too.

 It’s the first time I’ve written so much about myself on here, so much of my internal process and I’m literally crying rivers as I write this, all the feelings coming up to the surface in waves. But I feel like I need to write everything out to start a new chapter of my life. God this post is a mess. But again thank you to the one who came out before anyone was ready to accept lgbt+ people, thanks to the ones who recently came out, thank to the ones who’ll keep on coming out and fight for our rights until we don’t have to come out anymore. We still have a long way to go but I’m hopeful. Thank to the lgbt+ couples I see in the streets, kissing, holding hands, acting like a couple basically, but I know it takes a lot of courage for lgbt+ couples to act like a straight couple in the streets, the increasing of homophobic attacks in France these last few years have shown it after all. So thank you thank you thank you.

This post is already huge ( guess I’ll have to add a read more lmao) but I’ll keep going. I was not doing great this last year, my grandma passed away, it will soon be a year since she died and I miss her deeply. On top of that college was tough for me, I’m redoing my first year because I failed and it took an emotional toll on me. It took me a long time to accept it because I’ve always done good at school without putting much effort into it. French school system teaches you ( at least that’s how I perceive it) that failure is not an option, that if you fail you’re not good enough. I learned this year that it’s not true, you can fail and you can keep failing, it’s okay, you’re good enough, you just have to keep trying. Failure is okay, it doesn’t make you any less of a person. You can mess up, you can make mistakes too, as long as you learn from them it’s okay. You’ve got your whole life to learn, to grow and bloom. I’m finally coming to terms with that, I’m finally doing okay now, good even. There are always good and bad days, always will be and it’s okay. You can’t be at your full potential everyday, doing the best you can in the moment is already enough, whether it is writing a 12 pages essay due the next day, saving the oceans or just getting up from your bed. 

What I’m trying to say I guess is that, even if you’re not doing good now, it will pass eventually, the storm always go away. You just have to hang on the best you can until bad times are behind you. It’s okay, you’re okay, and if you’re not today, you will be someday. Life gets better, it truly does. You just have to give it a chance.