#modern prince hyunjin

[hyunsvngs]

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 !

𓈒 ﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭

방찬 / 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧 …

bad idea! [oneshot: stepdad!chan x fem reader, 18+ nsfw]

you're home for the holidays, and your mother - who you can't stand - has a new, young, hot boyfriend. it's such a good idea trying to seduce him.. right?

be quiet [oneshot: chan x fem reader, 18+ nsfw]

pwp - just the tip with chan :)

anniversary [oneshot: fem!chanlix x fem reader, 18+ nsfw]

pwp - morning sex with your girlfriends on your anniversary <3

𓈒 ﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭

이민호 / 𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐡𝐨 …

bold [oneshot: american footballers!minsung x cheerleader!fem reader, 18+ nsfw]

you’re not too experienced in the world of dating, parties and talking to people, but these two american footballers that you cheer for just seem to get it.

destress [oneshot: minho x fem!reader, 18+ nsfw]

your cutie college student boyfriend agrees to help you into subspace to take your mind off of your stressful exams.

visceral [oneshot: minho x fem!reader, 18+ nsfw]

your boyfriend has something he wants to try in bed. you didn't expect to like it so much. (watersports fic)

𓈒 ﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭

서창빈 / 𝐬𝐞𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐢𝐧 …

sugar [oneshot: vampire!changbin x fem!reader, 18+ nsfw]

changbin may be a vampire with supernatural strength, but there’s nothing he loves more than to let you take control.

𓈒 ﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭

황현진 / 𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧 …

hidden in plain sight [oneshot: hyunjin x gender neutral reader, sfw, fluff]

hyunjin is the only other guest at the wedding who’s single. you decide to play a ‘relationship for a day’ game - until it becomes a bit too real.

red, red wine [oneshot: hyunjin x female reader, 18+ nsfw, ft felix]

you have a friends with benefits situation with your best friend, felix, but when you confide in him about wanting to fuck one of your other friends, it ends better than you could’ve ever hoped.

𓈒 ﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭

한지성 / 𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐣𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠 …

bold [oneshot: american footballers!minsung x cheerleader!fem reader, 18+ nsfw]

you’re not too experienced in the world of dating, parties and talking to people, but these two american footballers that you cheer for just seem to get it.

princess [oneshot: jisung x female reader, 18+ nsfw]

pwp - jisung being called princess in bed :)

captain save-a-hoe! [oneshot: spiderman!jisung x fem!reader, 18+ nsfw]

you’re obsessed with spiderman, but after a certain event takes place, you become convinced your best friend and spiderman are the same person.

movie date [oneshot: college bf!jisung x fem!reader, 18+ nsfw]

there's an hour until your roommate comes back and your boyfriend is looking particularly delicious.

untitled #3 [oneshot: jisung x fem!reader, 18+ nsfw]

pwp - watersports commission!

𓈒 ﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭

이펠릭스 / 𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐱 …

fairy flowers [series: modern royalty!au, felix x fem reader, 18+ nsfw]

your childhood best friend, the prince lee felix, is due to be betrothed in an arranged marriage organised by his mother. the problem is, you're her top choice - and you're also secretly madly in love with him.

red, red wine [oneshot: felix x female reader, 18+ nsfw, ft hyunjin]

you have a friends with benefits situation with your best friend, felix, but when you confide in him about wanting to fuck one of your other friends, it ends better than you could’ve ever hoped.

anniversary [oneshot: fem!chanlix x fem reader, 18+ nsfw]

pwp - morning sex with your girlfriends on your anniversary <3

𓈒 ﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭

김승민 / 𝐤𝐢𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐦𝐢𝐧 …

home run [oneshot: bfb baseball player!seungmin x fem reader, 18+ nsfw, enemies to lovers]

you love your best friend, you hate her baseball playing brother. he’s not been home for a few years during your summers back home, so you can’t wait for another amazing summer - until he returns home.

untitled #1 [oneshot: seungmin x fem!reader, 18+ nsfw]

fucking seungmin backstage after THE seungarms photo

𓈒 ﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭

양정인 / 𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧 ...

lavender boy [oneshot: alpha!jeongin x omega fem reader, 18+ nsfw]

you want the newly presented alpha jeongin to help you with your heat, but you're a little embarrassed - until you realise he desperately wants to spend it with you.

untitled #2 [oneshot: priest!jeongin x fem reader, 18+ nsfw]

jeongin as your boyfriend fulfilling one of your fantasies (priest roleplay, blasphemy kink)

𓈒 ﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭

𝐎𝐓𝟖 …

hot bitch summer [series: fratboy!au, stray kids x gn!afab reader, 18+ nsfw]

a night where you reveal your most intense desires to your best friend lands you in the hot seat. you quickly find yourself in the heart of frat party central - will you embrace the connections you make in your hot bitch summer?

kinktober 2023 [series: collab with cbini and hwanghyuniret!]

kinkmas 2023 [series: collab with cbini!]

nsfw alphabet - bang chan

𓈒 ﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭

asks directory -

my asks ♡ ot8 ♡ piss kink ♡ a/b/o ♡ fisting ♡ monsterfucking ♡ lactation kink ♡ fem!skz ♡ minsung ♡

chan ♡ minho ♡ changbin ♡ hyunjin ♡ jisung ♡ felix ♡ seungmin ♡ jeongin

why hasn’t my ask been answered?

𓈒 ﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭

[changbunnies]

Piece of a Puzzle, (18+)

♡ Pairing: Duke’s Son!Seungmin x Princess!Reader

♡ Genre: royal au, fake dating, angst, fluff, love triangle, best friends to fake lovers to real lovers, so much pining from seungmin, slow burn-ish?, eventual smut

♡ Word Count: 20.4k (lmao it was not supposed to be this long...)

♡ Summary: For as long as Seungmin can remember, he’s been in love with you; and for as long as he can remember, you’ve been in love with Hyunjin. Desperate for Hyunjin to see you as a woman and no longer as a best friend or metaphorical sister, you ask Seungmin to pretend to be your boyfriend to make him jealous- you have nothing to lose, and nothing could go wrong! At least, that’s what you both think until your fake relationship with Seungmin begins to reveal feelings for you that he wanted to keep buried, and feelings in you that you didn't realize you had.

♡ Warnings: I know some people hate love triangles so if that is you then this fic is not for you I am sorry gsddgfd, I also wouldn't read this if you're not okay with characters who make mistakes and act selfishly lol, seungmin says mean things but it's all in the spirit of teasing and banter and he is not actually a mean person I promise, mentions of falling in freezing water, being sick + taking medicine, and mc makes 1 joke about killing seungmin.

♡ Smut Warnings (contains spoilers): virgin reader + virgin seungmin, loss of virginity, no intended d/s dynamics but reader is usually the one taking the lead lol, lots of kissing per usual, handjob, nipple play, unprotected piv, creampie

♡ Notes: it took me forever to come back to this series but the next member to get their royal au fic is seungmin <3 unlike my previous royal au fics, this one is in a modern setting which i hope makes for a fun dynamic and is a good change of pace from my other aus ! 

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

If you were to ask Seungmin what his favorite thing about having two best friends was, it would've been how special it was to be a trio. You, Seungmin, Hyunjin- the three of you inseparable since you were babies, spending hours giving the attendants and guards watching over you trouble, getting into snowball fights in the winter and camping out in the gardens during the summer.

Countless days spent splashing around in the lakes and ponds near your estates and coming back with muddied feet, making messes in the kitchens when you disastrously tried to figure out how to bake a cake for your upcoming birthday, and giggling to each other even as your elders got red in the face from scolding you.

It was perfect, really- the happiest days of Seungmin's life, all spent in carefree bliss.. until you all started to get older. It was all so mindless when you were children; all Seungmin ever really comprehended back then was that you were all of similar age, and becoming friends was a natural and perfect arrangement thanks to your parents (who Seungmin realized were all important people, though he was too young at the time to understand why or how.) You, the princess in the east, Hyunjin, the prince in the west, and Seungmin, the duke's son born in the middle of both territories, whose father allied himself to both nations and was a revered peacekeeper.

He can still remember fondly the nights before it all became so different; when you'd have guard sanctioned sleepovers in the ballroom, how you'd run and splash in the rain, your laughter carrying even as the three of you became soaked and eventually scolded for dripping water onto the pristine castle floors. You'd slip out of royal events to go hangout together on the balconies, in the library, or anywhere really, as long as it wasn't full to the brim with your pretentious elders talking politics and future marriage.

But Seungmin made the mistake of falling in love with you, and you fell in love with Hyunjin, and that's where it all falls apart.

The situation is dramatic, you're dramatic- the way you whine and flail on the bed, claims of how you'll "just die" if Hyunjin doesn't finally realize you're the woman of his dreams. Seungmin sits across from you on your chaise near the balcony of your extravagant bedroom, trying not to react too strongly one way or the other. As the only person you can confide in on this topic, Seungmin is used to hearing you pour your heart out to him about Hyunjin.

He likes to think he's used to it, anyways; that it doesn't hurt anymore because he simply doesn't let it, but any outsider looking in would be able to tell that isn't true. His smile falters, his bright eyes dull, his heart sinks to the pit of his stomach- because you will never love him with the same intensity you love Hyunjin. But it's been this way for years now; you are hopelessly in love with the prince of the neighboring country, while Seungmin is tragically in love with you. He really should just get over it already.

You've gone on and on and on about how Hyunjin is the ideal man- beautiful, educated, kind, dependable, artistic- everything Seungmin feels he cannot compare to. It's so pathetic, he feels pathetic; he never even put much thought on being of equal standing to the two of you until you started confiding in him about your feelings for Hyunjin, pouring out your heart and simultaneously breaking his with each new admission. Seungmin himself didn't even realize how in love with you he was until he was firmly faced with rejection; and it's almost funny how he's rejected before he can even try.

"I just want him to like, finally see me as a woman, y'know? I'm not the little girl you guys grew up with anymore!" you wail before shoving your face into one of your many pillows, huffing and whining in frustration as you kick your feet up and down. Apparently, you have come to find out that Hyunjin still views you as more of a sister than a potential lover, and you've spent the entire afternoon whining as you try to think of what else you can possibly do to make Hyunjin see you differently.

Seungmin wishes he could do the same- make you see him differently, as someone other than the best friend, almost brotherly figure you grew up with. But it's not meant to be, and Hyunjin has already won the race for your affection without even realizing he was part of it. "Stop being so dramatic," Seungmin complains half-heartedly, hoping you think his deadpan tone comes from just being mildly annoyed and not in fact utterly heartbroken.

You lift your head from the pillows and glare at him, but he just rolls his eyes before he lets his own head fall back against the cushion of the chaise, staring up at your impossibly pristine ceiling. "But we're a perfect match! He's a prince, I'm a princess, and I love him!" you whine, throwing one of your pillows at Seungmin when all he does is scoff instead of console you.

He throws the pillow back at you without even turning his head in your direction, and you throw it back harder than you did before, making him finally turn his gaze back in your direction. "Will you stop? Crybaby," Seungmin says, hoping to shift the conversation back to something that doesn't tear his heart to shreds. "Maybe he'd like you more if you weren't such a brat when you don't get your way."

"Seungmin!" your frown grows as you cross your arms, "do you have to be so mean to me when I'm literally heartbroken?" He has a point, that's true enough- you are acting a bit like a spoiled brat right now. But he could at least wait until later to call you out on it! You don't understand why he's always so mean when it comes to your feelings about Hyunjin. It's his personality to tease and be playfully mean in his banter, but when your feelings for your other best friend are the topic it never feels like it's purely in jest.

"Look, I get that he and his family are starting to consider who he'll marry, but it's not like he's actually seeing anyone yet. I'm sure you still have time," Seungmin suggests after a frustrated sigh, and you huff, falling back to the pillows and staring up at your ceiling with yet another dramatic sigh. "Maybe you just don't get it because you've never been in love. The thought of losing him to someone else is.. painful.."

It's a moment of real vulnerability at the end, the pain and fear in your voice when the last words leave your lips evident. If only you knew he does understand all too well, faced with the very same reality every single day. You deal with your pain by complaining to Seungmin in overdramatic displays, while he bottles it all up and shoves it as deep inside his heart as it can go, hoping that he won't have to acknowledge the pain again until he's alone, in the safety of his bedroom where no one can see or hear him agonize over his unrequited love.

But like Seungmin said, there's still time.. Hyunjin and his family are looking over marriage prospects together, but at the end of the day the choice is entirely Hyunjin's, and surely there's something you can do before he starts going on dates and falls in love with someone else. You shoot up quickly, the apparent clarity zapping you with an idea. "You're a genius, Minnie! I don't have to wait for him to return my feelings at all, I can do something!"

"Uh... you're welcome..?" Seungmin sits back up and looks over at you, and he instantly regrets it. You're looking at him with puppy dog eyes, lip pouty and hands clamped together in what is clearly a plea for help. He's not even sure he wants to know what you're thinking of roping him into- whatever plan it is you're crafting, nothing good can come from it. Especially not when your plot is being conjured by pure emotional need.

"Seungmin.. Be my boyfriend, please! Help me make him jealous," you plea and his eyes instantly widen, mouth hanging open in complete shock. He and Hyunjin have had to talk you out of a lot of irrational acts during their time as your friend, but this takes the fucking cake. There's no way you are asking him to do this. "You can't be serious," he says after the initial shock passes and now you scramble to the edge of the bed, pout growing as you try to convince him.

"Seungmin, please-" "Absolutely not, no," he cuts you off and the desperate, heartbroken look he's met with shatters the already microscopic pieces of his heart into even smaller pieces- a feat he didn't even think possible. It's almost impressive how you manage to break his heart without even realizing it.

"Please, you know there's no one else I can ask," you plea, now completely off the bed and just inches in front of him, clasping his hands in yours. There it is- Seungmin, the consolation prize. Seungmin, the one you turn to simply because Hyunjin isn't available. Seungmin, who gets dragged into schemes like this because he just can't live with himself if he knows you're genuinely upset.

Your puppy eyes looking at him so pleadingly paired with your soft hands desperately clutching his is enough to make him melt. He swallows, averting his gaze from your pouting lips and glassy eyes, trying to stay firm in his sentiment. "It's a bad idea," he says, voice short and impossibly tense, "what will you do if it doesn't work? If he's just like.. a good friend, and supports us being happy together?"

"But what if he doesn't? C'mon Minnie, we at least have to try!" you push on, your hands squeezing his tighter. The fact that his statement doesn't seem to deter you at all somehow makes the pain in his chest even worse. Like there's no reality in which Seungmin is the viable love interest for you, like the possibility that Hyunjin would concede your heart to him couldn't ever be reality, like the idea isn't even worth entertaining.

"I.." He hesitates as he finally looks at you again, your face still impossibly close to his, the earnest desperation for him to help you with this stupid idea making his chest feel impossibly tight. Seungmin likes to think he's good at pretending to not have feelings for you, but he doesn't think he can do it while also pretending to be your boyfriend.

How is he supposed to be so close to you and pretend it was all empty acts and words when the night is over? He'll tell you he loves you and you'll think it's part of the act, praise him for being so committed to the bit for your sake, thank him for pretending so effectively. You'll take his heart in your hands and twist and bleed and crush it, and you won't even know you're doing it. "Please?" you try once more and his resolve utterly crumbles.

It's stupid how much power you have over him. It's stupid how he can't stand firm against what is very clearly a disastrous idea. It's stupid how he's going to willingly allow his heart to be trampled upon just to make you happy. "..Fine," Seungmin finally breathes out his answer, conceding without all that much of a fight in the end.

You happily squeal and wrap your arms around him in a tight hug, thanking him over and over again. And despite himself, Seungmin smiles- because even though he's going to suffer, at least you'll be happy because of him, even if it's only for a short while. "You're the best, Minnie! I love you!" you beam, eyes crinkling with pure joy that he's going to help you.

"Yeah, yeah, you're welcome," he says as he wraps his arms around you in return. It's a mistake, but if it's for you then isn't it a mistake worth making? And he has to ignore the way his heart skipped a beat when you told him you loved him, has to remind himself that you'll never mean it in the way he wants you to, that every show of affection from this point onward will all be part of an elaborate performance.

The first rule of every fake relationship: set expectations and make a plan.

That's exactly why Seungmin finds himself visiting your room again following his foolish promise to be your pretend boyfriend. You bounce up to him in delight when he enters your room following a knock on the door, and he wishes that your excitement was genuinely for him, and not because you were going to be using him to make your shared best friend jealous.

Seungmin doesn't even believe Hyunjin will be jealous in the first place; he's never expressed having a romantic interest in you, and he thinks Hyunjin would confide in him if he did. But then again, it's not like Seungmin has ever confessed his feelings over you to Hyunjin either.. And the possibility that Hyunjin does love you, but simply never brought it up in the same way that Seungmin hasn't fills him with dread.

If this stupid plan works, and Seungmin actually helps you two come together.. he wants to think he'll be happy for you two, but who is he kidding? He'll be fucking gutted. "You look handsome today, boyfriend," you tell Seungmin happily, and he immediately freezes in place, hoping his expression is more incredulous than it is embarrassingly flushed red. What a way to be ripped out of his spiraling thoughts.

"Can you warn me next time you're about to say something stupid?" Seungmin tries to play it off as he takes his usual place on your chaise. "Sorry, just practicing," you follow up with a giggle, and he simply sighs as he watches you sit next to him. He's really gotten himself into trouble this time around, but it's too late to rescind his agreement to help your cause.

"I don't think most couples literally call each other "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" to their faces," Seungmin says, trying to smoothly ignore the 'handsome' part of your comment. It's superficial, you don't mean it, he already knows that; best not to let his mind dwell on a false hope of you one day meaning those words. "Well duh, I already know that," you say as you roll your eyes, "I'm just getting into character!"

Ouch. You have to get into character to love him, huh? It's not like he's surprised to hear it, but it hurts all the same. "Can't be too sure with you, sheltered princess and all," he teases and you roll your eyes again. "I'm not that sheltered. And TV exists! I'll have you know romance is my favorite genre."

"Great, so you get all your knowledge on romance from TV? How promising," Seungmin continues and you shove him, though all he does in response is smile at you. "Whatever, it's not like you know what you're doing either. You've never even had a girlfriend," you say and for a moment you think Seungmin is going to shove you back, but he doesn't.

His hands rise and almost touch you, but he hesitates before ultimately lowering them back down to his lap. It's been that way since you started getting older, as if the days you'd play wrestle or sleep while hunched together or hold hands while skipping through the castle never happened. Thinking about it, he stopped doing things like that around the same time you brought up your feelings for Hyunjin.

You assume he was being considerate, trying to be hands off so Hyunjin didn't get the wrong idea, but.. You wonder why you didn't realize how much he's been keeping his distance from you and hesitating to touch you until now? (And in reality, he stopped touching you when he realized he had feelings for you, and not when you admitted you like Hyunjin, but he's never going to clarify that fact to you.)

The other day, when you clutched his hands in yours in a desperate plea, it was the first time you held hands since you were kids. That's a sad thought, for some reason.. Maybe part of you missed it more than you realized. Taking his hand in yours, you really allow yourself to experience it this time.

It's nostalgic, holding his hand; though Seungmin's hands are much bigger now than when you were kids, they feel the same. Warm, comforting, gentle.. You wonder when the last time you did this was; you almost feel bad that you can't remember. You were once holding hands every single day and then you just.. stopped. You're not sure why the thought makes you as sad as it does; probably just the natural melancholy that comes with nostalgia if you had to guess.

Seungmin awkwardly accepts your hold, looking at you curiously after he stops fidgeting his hand. "I kinda missed this," you admit, cheeks growing pink with the admission. You're not sure why saying it makes you blush- it's just Seungmin. "Me too," he responds, his own face equally as pink, though he hopes you don't notice. He looks down at your hands, fingers laced together, and his heart stirs.

Ignoring it, he looks back to you, expression nervous but entirely serious. "So uh- your plan.. what exactly is it?" he asks, surprised when you answer immediately. Guess you put a lot of thought into it; because while your answer isn't rehearsed necessarily, it is confident. "Well, you got your invitation to the ball right? That's where we'll tell Hyunjin we're dating! It's the perfect setting."

"But you literally hate going to that thing- are we really going to go just for that?" The annual Hwang family ball is much more politics than it is dancing. Seungmin can't think of a single time you all attended and actually had fun without having to sneak away or cause a scene. At best it's boring and at worst you're spending the entire night being lectured on the future of your countries and how important it is to marry the right person for political power.

"Yeah, unless you have a better idea?" You frown as you look at Seungmin. He doesn't, unfortunately. He's not even sure he'd suggest it if he did have one, to be fair. God, this is so stupid- he's stupid for agreeing to go along with this. Curse you and your ability to rope him into the worst things possible just by giving him a cute look.

And in the end, he easily accepts the plan- attend the ball, act like a lovey dovey couple, activate Hyunjin's underlying jealousy (that may not actually exist), and hopefully profit. In the meantime, you'll be "building credibility" by getting past all the awkwardness now, so that you can pass as a legit couple in front of Hyunjin when the time comes.

"You're really okay with this, right? It's okay to change your mind," you say with a compassionate squeeze to his hand. It takes Seungmin by surprise that you're actually considering his feelings- not to insinuate that you're entirely selfish or don't care about him, but you do tend to have a one track mind when it comes to your romantic feelings for Hyunjin.

You watch him carefully, his expression entirely unreadable to you. You wish you could tell what he was thinking in times like this, but he always becomes a stonewall when you bring up romance and your long harbored feelings. You know it must be for a reason, but he never tells you what it is, and you can only assume the topic of love makes him uncomfortable; and while you're grateful for his help, you don't want him to push through discomfort just for your sake.

"..Yeah, I'm good. This is fine, everything's fine," he finally says. You don't entirely believe him, but you don't press him on it- he'll just argue with you if you don't take his word for it. Stupid. You were clearly offering him an out and he just accepted his role as your emotional martyr. But who is he kidding- it's not like he would've been able to answer any differently, ever a slave to your whims.

Whether you realize it or not, you have him in the palm of your hands, and Seungmin would do anything to make you happy- even at the detriment to himself. "So.. uh, do you want to kiss me?" you transition and Seungmin has to make a conscious effort to not choke on his own spit. Because how are you asking him that so casually?

"No, you're gross," he answers; a lie, obviously, but he didn't realize this fake relationship would entail anything other than mild displays of affection and maybe the use of petnames. If he kisses you it's over for him. Completely, utterly over- he'll never be able to pretend you're just his friend ever again.

You roll your eyes as you let go of his hand, and he frowns; he misses the warmth already, but what right does he have? "You can just say no without the gross comment, asshole," you shove him again. Seungmin is always mean to you, so it's not like you weren't expecting a comment like that when you decided to bring up kissing. You might've hoped for a different reaction, but you certainly weren't expecting anything profound or romantic.

...Why were you hoping for a different reaction in the first place?

"No, that's- I'm sorry, that's not what I meant, I just-" It's almost endearing how Seungmin fumbles with his words. You blink at him, surprised to see him floundering to admit you're not actually gross to him. Poor Seungmin- being mean to you is his only defense mechanism and now it's going to bite him in the ass. No wonder you don't have feelings for him.

In reality, he thinks you're pretty. So fucking pretty. And he wants to kiss you more than he's ever wanted anything. "Force of habit," he finally says, swallowing down his true thoughts and feelings as usual. Thankfully, you accept his answer easily; he's not sure whether you truly believe him or not, but he'll take what he can get. "Have you ever kissed someone?" you decide to ask, moving swiftly along after taking his answer at face value. Thank God.

"Once," he answers, and oh, that's a surprise; you expected him to say 'no,' to be like you- with zero experience. You're best friends- why hasn't he told you..? To be fair, it's not that Seungmin kissed someone- he was the one being kissed by someone else. The distinction is very important! And he can see the question lingering before you even ask it, so he takes the initiative in answering. "It was awkward. I didn't.. feel the same way as them."

"Oh. I didn't realize there are people that like you," you say and Seungmin instantly shoots you with an incredulous look. "Ouch," he deadpans. "No, sorry- I didn't mean for that to sound so mean, I swear," you promise with an awkward laugh. At least now you're equal on the "making unintentionally hurtful comments" front.

You've thought at great length what it would be like if Hyunjin started dating someone, but you're just now realizing you never put any thought into Seungmin dating someone. You guess you just always expected that he'd be there.. you never stopped to think about what would happen if he wasn't, never even considered it a possibility that he wouldn't always be right there next to you.

And it would happen eventually, wouldn't it? And what about when you and Hyunjin are a couple; you two will have each other and Seungmin will.. well, you don't know what he'll do. But you don't like the thought of him being anymore distant. What a way to realize how selfish you're being. “Sucks that it was awkward,” you eventually say, ignoring the way guilt starts to eat at you. No surprise that the selfish princess doesn’t want to confront that issue just yet.

“Yeah.. honestly, I felt bad. I’m sure it took a lot of courage to confess and kiss me, but I,” already had feelings for you, he thinks, but obviously opts to say something else, “just didn’t feel the same.” Lord knows Seungmin will never have that same level of courage; to put yourself out there and confess only to be met firmly with rejection is terrifying. And he knows you don’t feel the same, so why even try? Being a coward suits him perfectly fine in this case. 

“Why didn’t you accept anyways? You might’ve returned the feelings after becoming a couple and growing closer to them,” you ask, earnestly curious. You think you would give someone a chance if they confessed to you if you weren’t already so in love with Hyunjin. But as far as you knew, Seungmin didn’t have feelings for anyone, so there would’ve been nothing to lose from trying. If only that were true- his life would be much easier if he wasn’t earth shatteringly in love with you. 

“Mm, maybe. But if months went by and I still didn’t, I would’ve felt scummy. Like I was stringing them along and giving them a false promise, y’know? And I don’t wanna be that guy,” Seungmin answers, keeping out the major detail of ‘I’m also impossibly in love with you and dating someone while being in love with your best friend is definitely frowned upon.’ “Wow. I think I respect you more after that,” you say and Seungmin scoffs, unable to hide the smile that breaks on his lips. “Gee, thanks. Glad to know you didn’t respect me before now.”

“Hey, I clearly said ‘respect you more!’ Meaning I did respect you, thank you very much,” you laugh. There’s a silence that follows when the giggling dies down and the smiles fade, with Seungmin looking at you carefully. Right. He’s here to be your fake boyfriend. Better get back to the quest at hand. “So.. I’m not actually gross, huh?” you ask, bringing the conversation back to where it began. “Only a little,” he teases, laughing when you grab a spare cushion to shove at him. 

“Stop being mean, I’m trying to be serious!” You whine as he tosses the cushion you shoved in his face to the floor. “Okay, okay,” Seungmin says, his expression softening as he looks at you. In reality, he thinks you’re perfect; but it’s much easier to tease and pretend you disgust him than to face how beautiful he thinks you are. But with how seriously you’re taking this entire thing, it seems he’s going to have to be more earnest with himself, and you, than he was prepared to be.

He really fucked himself over this time around.

"Theoretically.." you start, chewing on your lip before you continue, "Hypothetically-" "Those words mean the same thing," Seungmin can't help but interrupt, laughing as you shove him and tell him to 'shut the fuck up.' You hate him sometimes- fucking menace to your sanity, you swear. "Hypothetically," you continue when he's done laughing and you're sure he's ready to take you seriously, "assuming you're being honest and I'm not gross. Would you want to kiss me?"

Well. Guess there's no avoiding it now. It's time for the thing Seungmin fears most- some good, old fashioned honesty about his feelings. "Yes," is all he says; no further elaboration, no talk on whether or not this is still strictly in the realm of hypotheticals, or if he'd only be okay with it under some sort of condition being met. Just.. yes, he'd want to kiss you.. wants to kiss you. That's it.

You can’t believe how easily he conceded in the end; you wonder if another mean, teasing joke is inbound, or if he doesn’t quite get what you’re insinuating. "You know I mean on the lips right? Like.. an actual kiss?" You ask, wanting to ensure you're on the same page and he's not just thinking, like.. forehead or cheek kisses or something. All of which will still be part of this fake relationship, but still; better to make sure everything is clarified. "Yeah, I assumed that," he replies and you simply blink.

You're not sure why, but that does something to your heart. "And.. you're okay with that..?" "Yeah..? I thought we established I didn't mean it when I said you're gross. I was just teasing," he says plainly, as if the topic you're discussing is completely normal. Well, maybe that's the attitude you should have too- it's no big deal, right?

It's not that strange for two best friends to kiss, it happens all the time! And this was all your idea in the first place; you don't even understand why you feel so weird about it all of the sudden. Sure, not thinking you're gross and wanting to kiss you are two different things entirely, but you're thinking about it too hard.

Seungmin is just being a good friend to you. He's nonchalant about it because all of this is simple; it's supposed to be simple. Just one friend casually helping out another. If anything it's a relief he has no hang ups about it, right? It makes this whole thing easier! (The reality: he is not nonchalant. He is practically screaming inside over the idea of kissing you- you just don't know it.)

Blushing and heart twisting for reasons beyond your understanding, you opt to just take his hand in yours again instead, averting your eyes from him and training them off to the distance. Your bedroom walls are very interesting all of a sudden. "Maybe later," you mumble and he nods, relieved as he squeezes your hand. Yeah, maybe later. He doesn't think he's ready to fall for you even harder just yet anyways.

Weeks pass, and your fake relationship develops slowly but organically thanks to the Hwang's ball being further away still. You expected becoming "natural" in your relationship would take time, which is why you wanted to get a headstart on practicing being close. Your heart still stirs in unexpected moments, but mostly you feel comfortable, which is perfect.

Some awkwardness and shy closeness would be natural, but you can't appear stiff in front of Hyunjin if you want to pass as a genuine couple- the goal is for the relationship to look fresh, not forced. Due to this, you and Seungmin hold hands a lot these days. You like it, to be honest. It reminds you of all these thoughts and memories you hadn't lingered on in years. Of play dates and toothless smiles and laughing as you trip and tumble and grow dirty. You missed it.

You missed this too- cuddling, same as the hand holding. It's something you hadn't done since you were kids, and similarly, you couldn't remember the last time you had done it before now. You find yourself thinking it's a shame you ever stopped. You're currently laying against him, head on his shoulder while one of his arms is wrapped around your waist, legs tangled together on your obscenely large sofa while some movie you long since stopped paying attention to plays on your equally large tv.

You practiced calling each other petnames, but they all felt weird- in the end, the only thing that felt natural was sticking to calling each other stupid, idiot, asshole, brat.. And somehow hearing Seungmin call you a selfish brat before he hugs you with a smile makes your heart skip a beat these days. It doesn't make sense, but you don't let yourself dwell on it or think about it too hard- this is all for a purpose, and it's better to just leave it at that.

When you suggested trying out cuddling today, you didn’t expect your mind to go to so many complicated places. "Hey Minnie, do you remember the last time we cuddled like this?" you decide to ask him, tilting your head up to be able to catch a glimpse at him. "Yeah. We were 12," he answers easily, and you can just barely see this corner of his mouth lifted in a fond smile.

"Really?" you question and he tilts his head to look at you. He answered so quickly; no delay in the slightest, didn't even have to waste any time thinking on it or trying to remember- he just.. already knew. The instantaneous ease in which he responded surprises you as equally as it fills you with guilt.

"Of course. You don't remember?" he asks and pangs of guilt over not being able to remember yourself grow painfully. You never expected to feel so terrible over something so small. "Not really.." you answer with a frown; you wish you did, especially since Seungmin seems to have his own memory of your childhood closeness perfectly intact, but you simply.. don't remember.

"Gosh, I'm so hurt. You care for me so little," Seungmin teases, but all you can do is continue to frown. You can't bring yourself to hit him with a witty quip or joke that you hate him- because part of you worries that how inattentive you've been thus far would give rise to him one day believing your statements made to poke fun are how you truly feel. And right now you just honestly, truly feel bad.

His expression softens when he realizes you're genuinely saddened, assuming it's because he took the teasing too far by insinuating you don't care about him. In reality, it's not him you're upset with but yourself. And it stings to realize that maybe what he says isn't completely wrong- maybe you really have cared about him too little.

Maybe if you weren't so hyperfocused on love and romance with Hyunjin, you'd have realized sooner how much you put your friendship with Seungmin on the wayside. You wish you'd been a better friend. "It's to be expected actually,” Seungmin attempts to rectify his mistake in wording (though truly it's not his fault or a ‘mistake’- your guilt is your own, and all he did was unintentionally spark some much needed self reflection.) “You were sick as fuck and loaded on cough syrup."

"Oh!" You exclaim suddenly, a vague memory in the very back of your mind becoming clearer now. Just as Seungmin said, you were 12 and suffering from the worst cold you'd ever had in your entire life. You felt like you were dying and it was your own fault it happened; a blizzard had just passed, and you insisted on playing in the freshly fallen heaps of snow with your two best friends.

The lake near the castle had completely frozen over in the storm, and despite being repeatedly warned how unsafe it is to play on a frozen lake, you were just a kid who thought you were invincible. Every kid is overconfident and zealous, truly believing no harm or wrong can come to them until the world teaches them a lesson in humility- and that's exactly what happened that day.

You skated around on the frozen lake, paying no heed to any of the warnings you received, laughing and giggling without a care in the world even as you slipped and slid around on the slick surface of the ice. But eventually you fell, of course you did, it was ice- and the moment your weight collided with the surface of the lake, it cracked.

It's hard to remember what followed- all you really remember was how your whole body froze the minute it touched the icy water, as if all your limbs had become pure lead. But Seungmin was there, and Hyunjin too, and they pulled you out and got you back inside as fast as they were able. It honestly came as no surprise that you got sick following your unceremonious ice bath.

Seungmin and Hyunjin got a bit sick too, but their sniffles and slight coughs paled in comparison to your symptoms. Hyunjin's parents made him return home to shake off his cold, but Seungmin's didn't mind if he got over his slight cold with you in the castle. Even with the spark of clarity it's all still vague, but you can just remember it now- how Seungmin was glued to your side the entire rest of the week as your body tried to fight off the illness.

He was there when your attendants woke you to take your medicine, he was there when you drank your water and sipped your soup, he rubbed your back when you coughed and stroked your head when you complained that it hurt. He was.. sweet. The entire time. The usual Seungmin who teased and complained was nowhere to be seen, even when you unintentionally got snot on his shirt.

Instead, he was just sincerely caring. And he cuddled you, let you soak up all his warmth because no matter how many layers of blankets you were under and despite the constant fueling of the fire in your fireplace, you still felt so impossibly cold. "I remember now," you tell him and the smile you're met with stirs something within you.

Or maybe it's the memory of how sweet he can be when he's not being a jackass. Maybe it's how underneath his layers of teasing comments and sarcastic words, he's genuine. He remembers things, always remembers things, even when the moments are small and fleeting. And maybe it's how even when he complains or calls you a selfish brat, he'd still do anything for you.

Even now, years later, he's still just the same in that regard. Cares about you, would do anything for you, wants you happy even when your happiness causes him trouble and inconvenience. All his sarcasm and jokes at your expense will fade the minute you're genuinely unwell, he'll drop everything he's doing the minute you need him for something serious, because underneath his layers and walls he'll always be someone selfless and kind.

You sit up ever so slightly, just enough to get a clearer view of him while still tangled in his arms and legs. You breathe his name in a whisper, and his eyes dart around your face as he tries to figure out what you’re doing, what you’re thinking while looking at him so.. attentively. It makes him nervous when you look at him like that, makes him feel like you can see right through him and read his every thought, like he’s nothing but cellophane.

And you kiss him. You kiss him. Soft and chaste, your lips just barely pressed to his, but still he crumbles, his sandcastle heart caught by your wave. His weak heart pounds, his blood races through his veins, he blinks in surprise and still can't seem to find himself or formulate a thought even when you pull away. What even just happened?

"S-Sorry," you flush instantly as you turn your eyes away from Seungmin's heating face. You can't believe you just kissed your best friend like that. And like.. you fully expected to give Seungmin your first kiss as part of this whole charade, but it was supposed to be a moment that only happened after meticulous planning and mental preparation. This was undeniably, purely the heat of the moment.

"Uh, I.. it just.. felt right. For practice..?" you stumble as you try to formulate an excuse for your own unexpected actions. Yeah. It was for practice, that's all. You aren't in love with him- you love Hyunjin. What you felt when you kissed him just now was.. something else. That's what you tell yourself, because it's the only thing that makes sense.

"Oh, right. Yeah, that makes sense," Seungmin utters quietly, sounding almost.. disappointed. You look at him again, and catch just a glimpse of sadness in his eyes before it fades completely, almost as if it was never there. And maybe it wasn't- maybe you're.. projecting, somehow? Do you want Seungmin to be sad that the kiss doesn't mean more?

You don't know. It's confusing. And you hate that you don't know why it's confusing, that you don't understand where all these conflicting thoughts and feelings are coming from and what they mean. You don't want to admit it, but maybe he was right; maybe this whole thing wasn't a good idea.

He sees the struggle on your face, but there's no way for him to know that it's due to confusion about your feelings, how you liked kissing him and how you don't know what that says about you or about your feelings- for him or for Hyunjin. Instead, he worries that you hated it, that kissing him filled you with disgust and regret and now you were trying to figure out how you can ever look at him again.

But you do look at him again, of course you do. And despite the confusion and the struggle from your complex, raging emotions, you meet his eyes softly. You reach for a hand and squeeze, and once again he feels like you see right through him, see all the ugly dread and guilt and sorrow that comes from being in love with you. You see him and he sees you, and though it's confusing and clearly disastrous, neither of you want to let it go just yet.

"Do you.. want to keep practicing..?" he asks hesitantly, a hint of hope in his unsteady voice. A hope he shouldn't have, a hope he feels you will sternly reject. But you don't. You smile at him, a timid one he thought only ever reserved for Hyunjin, and you nod. "Yeah, do you?" you ask, and all Seungmin replies with is a simple "yeah" of his own before your lips are on his again.

You kiss him and he kisses you, and sometimes it's awkward as you bump noses or ever so slightly miss and instead kiss the corner of his mouth, but in the end it all becomes natural, rhythmic, easy. Butterflies thrash in your stomach, your heart races, your face burns, his lips are soft and warm and perfect, and through it all, for the first time in all your years, you stop thinking about Hyunjin, and linger exclusively on Seungmin.

Kissing Seungmin makes you feel strange. It doesn't feel bad, nor wrong, or uncomfortable; but strange because of what it evokes in you. When he left for his guest room that night, and you had more time to think about what you’d done, you came to the conclusion that the butterflies would pass now that it was over. That you only felt them because kissing, regardless of it being with your best friend, was foreign and new. You thought that as you got used to kissing him, that deceitful fluttering in your stomach would gradually fade.

You expected that kissing him would become as second nature to you as holding hands, and eventually you’d feel.. maybe not nothing when kissing him, but certainly you wouldn't still be reactive. What has actually happened is rather the opposite; your heart skips a beat when he enters your room now, you unconsciously flush whenever he holds you closer, your stomach knots itself when he smiles following a kiss. 

He smiles a lot more these days; or maybe you only perceive it that way because part of you wants it to mean something more than it does. That’s what frustrates you most of all; no matter how much you tell yourself it’s just practice, that this means nothing to either of you and is only a means to an end, you find yourself struggling to come to peace with that idea. Confusion and guilt eat at you, complex feelings and emotions you didn’t even know you had rising to the surface one after the next, protesting being ignored and making themselves acutely known. 

There’s a question that burns in the back of your mind, something you’re scared to confront but know you must before this is over- is your love for Hyunjin genuine or superficial? Do you love him the way a lover truly would, or do you love the idea of being with him? The idea that your romance would be a picture perfect fairytale, because he’s a prince and you’re a princess and those two things just naturally go together.

Perhaps your understanding of love is inherently naive and flawed; perhaps all these years spent pining, you were chasing an ideal rather than a person. But misguided though it may be, your love for Hyunjin has to be true; because apart from being one of your best friends, he’s objectively perfect for you. Seungmin is rough and jagged, while Hyunjin is polished and smooth. Though more tempered and refined than yourself, Hyunjin matches your flair for the dramatic, while Seungmin is oppositely rooted firmly in reality. Where Hyunjin is elegant words and gentle smiles, Seungmin is sarcasm and rolled eyes.

But that’s not entirely true, you know it isn’t; because while Seungmin is indeed sarcastic and mean and sometimes rough around the edges, he’s also gentle and sincere and passionate. He doesn’t show that softness within as easily as Hyunjin does, he's built up walls as he grew older for reasons that you couldn't begin to understand, but maybe that’s what makes it more special when he does let them fall, how you know he truly means it when he does something kind. His sweet smiles carry far more weight and depth than you ever stopped to realize.

“You okay? What’s up with you today?” Seungmin asks, careful but with a hint in his voice that he’s ready to tease depending on how you respond. Right. The reason you called him over today. You chew your lip as you look at him, and you know he’s been able to tell all day that something was off with you. You wanted to call this whole thing off, if you’re being honest; tell him you realized he was right, he’s always right, and this was a terrible idea that you shouldn’t have dragged him into. 

But the moment you faced him you lost all your nerve. Your mouth ran dry, the words lodged themselves in your throat, and you couldn’t bring yourself to speak them. It’s so fucking selfish, but you realized that without this fake relationship keeping you together, the distance between you would return. Once the charade is over, he’ll go back to hardly ever returning your touch, to emotional walls stacked so high you fear you could never climb them, to strained smiles and equally strained words. 

You’re not sure why Seungmin is more open these days; maybe intimacy and closeness, no matter the cause and regardless of lack of romantic intent attached to them, is enough to naturally break down a person’s barriers. You don’t even know why he has barriers, why he shields himself from you so strongly when you’re his best friend, but now that you’ve experienced him without his walls you don’t want to go back. You’re terrible and selfish and it’s hardly a justification to keep your fake relationship going, but still..

“Are you getting nervous?” he tries again; the ball is approaching quickly now, and he suspects maybe you’re off because you fear your performance as a couple won’t be good enough, that maybe you won’t be as believable as you need to be. You want to tell him he’s probably right, that it’s just nerves and you’ll get over it and everything will be fine with the moment comes, but you know that’s not all there is to it. 

It feels so stupid looking back on how excitedly you chose a new dress for the occasion, planned how you’d match with Seungmin and parade yourself on his arm and bat your eyelashes at him while calling him the sweetest names you could come up with, all so Hyunjin would look on and maybe get jealous. You didn’t listen when Seungmin warned you it was a bad idea, didn’t entertain the truth that Hyunjin would likely be a good friend and not intervene, didn’t want to acknowledge how tunnel-visioned and selfish the fairytale romance you pursued made you. 

You kissed him, held his hands, and hugged him close and cuddled him tight, and your heart ached and stomach fluttered and you ignored every blaring alarm in your brain because the ends were supposed to justify the means. And now you’re going to ruin not just one friendship, but two; because you don’t know how you’re going to face either of them when it all inevitably crashes and burns.

“I just.. aren’t I being really selfish? You told me this was stupid but I didn’t listen and now I feel like I’m taking advantage of you,” you blurt it all out, watch as his eyebrows furrow and his expression changes. You don’t quite know what he feels; regret, frustration, exasperation..? All of them would be perfectly justified. You swallow and you clench your hands into fists and you finally make a selfless decision, one you should’ve made before all these weeks passed you by and you became attached to a version of your best friend you were never supposed to have. “We should stop.” 

Seungmin looks.. almost hurt, before he lets out a laugh; you can’t tell if it’s based in self-deprecation, irony, annoyance, or something even further beyond what you can understand from him. “I agreed to this,” he says, grabbing your arm and making you look at him again when you try to turn away and avoid his gaze, “I wanted- want to help you. You know that, right? I know I can be difficult sometimes but I’d never lie about that.”

Maybe you are terribly selfish and maybe you are taking advantage of him and maybe his heart will shrivel and die the moment this ends, but he doesn’t fucking care. He can be selfish too and his selfishness makes him want to hold on for as long as he can, even if it’s fake, even if you never love him; pretending to is enough, it’s all he needs. “That’s the problem though, isn’t it? You’re so selfless and I just..” you trail off; you don’t know what more you can bring yourself to say. 

He’s difficult, he’s frustrating, and he’s mean, but he’s not cruel. You know how sweet he actually is, how much he’d sacrifice for you if you asked him too, and it’s time you stopped relying on him for stupid shit like this and dragging him into your petty, dumb, naive problems and grow up a little. Stop being the selfish princess you were raised to be and start being someone worthy of Seungmin’s unwavering friendship instead. You’d never intentionally hurt him, but the problem is you probably have- countless times that you probably aren’t even conscious of because your self reflection has come just a little too late.

You started this whole thing because the idea of losing Hyunjin made your heart ache; but the idea of losing Seungmin, that knowledge that you’ve very likely taken and hurt and been a terrible friend for years doesn’t just make your heart ache- it rips it out entirely. It’s weird, considering them both best friends but realizing how different those friendships actually worked- and how losing Seungmin as a friend is far more gutting than losing a potential lover in Hyunjin. 

And you know Seungmin would never hate you, would call you selfish or stupid or annoying but would absolutely never actually think badly of you, and that makes it all the worse. Seungmin wears a mask for you, you know it’s true even if you want to deny it; but the mask he wears is cracked, the paint is worn, and knowing it could all be your fault makes you feel impossibly anguished and sick. 

Seungmin frowns and lets you look away, though he still hesitates to let you go. He does though, eventually, and he falls to his back on your bed with a sigh. “You don’t need to worry about me, this is all fine, I’m fine,” he says but you don’t entirely trust him. He’s too stubborn and selfless to admit you’ve ever hurt him, knows it would gut you to realize what you’ve done to him and so chooses to say nothing about it at all. Because regardless of the boundary of friend and lover and where you both lie in between those words, he loves you- not that you feel you deserve it. 

This isn’t entirely your fault either- he gave in way too easily. He knew it was a bad idea and he should’ve been more stern, made you see reason even if it made you cry and pout and whine for hours on end. He knows you're selfish and spoiled and a little naive when it comes to what romance means but he didn’t do anything to genuinely shut you down- because beneath it all, he’s just as selfish as you, and he wanted to be your boyfriend for a just a little while, even if being your boyfriend meant nothing. 

His walls are down but he’s still not being completely honest, you know he isn’t. The mask is back on but the cracks have grown, exposing more of the real Seungmin beneath, and he can’t hide himself away as easily as he used to- because now you’ve seen them. The cracks, the imperfections, the instability. And you’ve taken them all in, deduced that they’re your fault, and you won’t let it go- because that’s what stubborn people like you do. You pick and you prod and you poke, until something bends or breaks and you finally get the result you want. 

But what do you want? To stop playing pretend? For Seungmin to admit that yeah, you have hurt him sometimes- not that he blames you. He knows it wasn’t ever once intentional, and he was never going to hold anything against you or leave you behind. Or maybe you want him to admit he’s in love with you, and that he’s just as fucking hopelessly in love with you as you are with Hyunjin, and that love he feels foolishly allowed for things to get way farther than they should have. 

You look at him hesitantly, the way he’s fallen onto your bed, his shirt ridden half up his stomach from the fall and the way his caramel colored hair fans out around him. He’s beautiful and despite everything you’ve just said, you want to crawl on his lap and kiss him. You try to blink the thought away, to scrub your mind clean from thoughts you shouldn’t be having. 

He sees the way your eyes linger on his lips, how you internally struggle between what you think you should and shouldn’t do, how even now you are trying to spare him when he doesn’t need to be spared. Consume him whole, eat away at him until there’s nothing left, he doesn’t fucking care- he just wants you, even if it’s temporary, even if you throw him away in the end in favor of someone better. Not if, he has to remind himself, but when- because it’s inevitable, because you’ll never love him as more than a friend.

Seungmin reaches out to you, is close to touching you, but just as he used to, he hesitates before he drops his hand. The distance returns, and that should be a good thing; it hurts, but isn’t it what’s right? You don’t.. You’re not in love with him. You can’t be- you just.. value him as a friend and don’t want to do anything to strain your friendship anymore than you already have. Everything you feel is confusing and weird and you don't know what to do with what you have now. 

What to do with your urge to be closer to him, or the way you blush when he smiles and calls you names, or how the content sighs he lets out while kissing and cuddling makes your stomach do flips. How the way he unconsciously squeezes you tighter fills you with butterflies or how the way his hands linger before you begin to separate makes you want to go crawling back to his open arms. 

And there’s the impure thoughts- the ones you’ve never even had about Hyunjin despite being in love with him. The ones you have when you see his shirt ridden up like it is now, or how those sighs when you kiss him would sound if you took things just a step further. You used to daydream about pure things like sharing a romantic dance or being given flowers on an anniversary- now your thoughts linger on things like Seungmin’s tongue in your mouth and his hand between your thighs. Things you definitely shouldn’t be daydreaming about if you’re as in love with Hyunjin as you say you are. 

You suck in a trembling breath and again try to push the thoughts you shouldn’t have away. Seungmin’s expression is contemplative and gentle, full of a care you don’t deserve. It’s no surprise he can read you like an open book, can tell you’re more upset about this than you should be. It should be a comfort that this charade is coming to an end, but all you feel is sharp, stinging guilt and unbearable pain in your chest. Your eyes burn and you feel as if you’re going to cry, but how terrible would that be? 

It would almost feel manipulative to cry in front of him now, after having put all that effort into trying to go back to normalcy. You’re so frustrated with yourself, so impossibly frustrated; you squeeze your clenched fists, your nails dig into your palms, your tears threaten to spill and you look away from Seungmin before they do. Because he’ll comfort you, and that’s not what you deserve. Obviously he knows, it’s not like you can hide it very well, but he doesn’t say anything. 

Instead, he reaches out again- and this time, he doesn’t stop himself or hesitate. The distance you’ve put between you has already closed. He pulls you down to him, makes you fall against his chest, your head winding up somewhere between his heart and his shoulder. You can still hear it from your position above it, and the steady thumping soothes you. “The ball is soon,” he says quietly, “we can.. go as planned, and then decide what will happen with us after. If you still want to stop after that, it’s okay. Just.. don’t give up too soon.” 

You can tell he’s trying to sound sure of himself, but he’s just as lost in all this as you are. And though you still feel rattled with guilt and uncertainty, you nod. You trust Seungmin, and you may as well see this fake relationship through to the end- and the Hwang ball is where you meet that end, one way or another. “Okay..” you mumble, chest tight and stomach knotted with guilt, but you do your best not to spiral again, to trust Seungmin’s word when he says you haven’t done wrong by him. 

He calls your name and you look up at him expectantly. His mouth opens, he goes to speak, but whatever he wants to say is swallowed back down, and is instead replaced with something more familiar. “You’re.. really annoying,” he whispers before he kisses you, and there’s a relief that spreads through your veins. “Asshole,” you whisper back and you feel him smile, the comfortable normalcy returning even in this situation that is anything but normal. 

You’re both stupid and stubborn and there’s no way this ends without someone having a broken heart, but for now it’s okay. For now, it’s all Seungmin needs; to be close to you and touch you and hold you and know that you were his, for however brief and false a time it may have been.

“Do you think we should share a guest room to make this more believable?” you mumble while walking through the halls of the Hwang Castle, hand intertwined with Seungmin’s while he carries both his luggage and your own. Hyunjin obviously prepared your rooms separately as you haven’t announced your relationship to him yet- not that it’s going to last much longer anyways. Whether you end up with Hyunjin by night's end or not, your fake relationship with Seungmin can’t proceed beyond this. 

“I dunno,” Seungmin replies, though your question was more absentminded musing than a genuine question you were expecting to have answered by him. “Maybe? Technically speaking, we’ve been “dating” for a couple months now. It’d probably be normal.” You hum and contemplate his answer for a moment before you look at Seungmin with a smile. “Let’s share my room then! Hyunjin always gives me the biggest room available.” 

“I fucking knew it,” Seungmin says in faux-exasperation as you giggle. He always felt like his guest rooms were smaller than yours; and he doesn't actually care, but it's fun to act like it bothers him, and it's even better to hear you laugh. “Spoiled brat. Still need luxury even when you’re in someone else’s place, huh?”

“Naturally. What kind of princess would I be if I didn’t get the best of everything?” He rolls his eyes despite the way a smile tugs on his lips and a laugh threatens to break. You turn a hall, and finally your guest rooms begin to come into sight- you've been to Hyunjin's place enough to know the layout, but it still doesn't make getting to the guest hall any less of a trek.

Seungmin unlinks your hands when you approach the double doors of the castle's best guest room, fumbling in his pocket for the keys you were given for just a moment before he finds the right one. He unlocks the door, walks inside with you and sets your luggage down in the corner of the room before turning to look at you. “You sure you want me to stay? I don’t mind going to my own room,” Seungmin offers and you quickly shake your head- maybe a little too quickly, but you won’t acknowledge how eager for him to stay you seem. 

“Well, I’ll probably need help getting ready,” you say; an excuse, sure, but it’s reasonable at least. But what about after that? When the ball is over and so too is your act, regardless of whether you get results with Hyunjin or not- would Seungmin still stay? Would you want him to stay? You think you would; you don’t know what that means or what it says about you, but it’s honestly what you’d want.

“If you’re sure, don’t mind if I make myself comfortable then,” Seungmin says as he flops himself on the extravagant guest bed. There’s still a couple of hours until the ball, and since he won’t take nearly as long getting ready as you, he decides it’s a good idea to get in a short nap. Traveling always makes him tired, after all- especially when he’s going from your castle all the way to Hyunjin’s. He yawns and stretches out before he closes his eyes, and your eyes linger on him fondly for a moment before you turn to where Seungmin set your luggage. 

You rummage through your bags for everything you need to get ready; toiletries, makeup, your dress- you collect them all in your arms and carry them to the attached bathroom. You spend a fair amount of time in the shower, going over every skincare step meticulously and making sure you’re as soft as can be- not that it matters, really, since nothing is going to happen but.. You feel more confident in yourself after going through the motions. You’re careful and methodical in the application of your makeup too; you can’t rush if you want to look perfect.

You hold your dress up to your body and imagine briefly how you’ll look in it while standing in front of the large, ornate mirror. That’s the downside to ordering online- you have no idea how the dress will actually fit you, but you hope you’ll look nice. Nerves hit you again as you look at yourself, but you swallow them down the best you can as you lie the dress on the sink counter. You don’t know what you’re hoping for tonight anymore- whether you want Hyunjin to see you with Seungmin and get jealous, or if you want him to think you are a sweet couple and support you sincerely. 

It doesn’t matter either way; nothing about this is genuine. And you’re not sure if you can be happy with yourself if Hyunjin is jealous and realizes he likes you over a lie. But you’ve come this far, you’re already here and Seungmin has reassured you over and over again that this is something he thinks you should see through, so.. That’s all you have left to do. Just see it through until the end. 

Getting your underwear on, and then carefully slipping on your dress- here is where you need Seungmin’s help. It’s near impossible for you to pull up the zipper that lies along the spine of your dress, even if you stretch and reach behind you as far as your arm can go. Holding a hand to your chest so that the dress doesn’t slip back down your body, you carefully open the bathroom door and peek outside into the main room.

You weren’t sure if Seungmin really fell asleep after you’d left him alone in the room, but peeking out now, you can tell that he has. He’s in the same position on the bed as when you left him, his eyes serenely closed and breathing steady. You call his name, but he doesn’t react; so you try once more, raising your voice this time, but you’re still met with nothing in response. You step out of the bathroom and up to the bed cautiously, and you make one last effort to wake him by calling his name just in case.

It doesn’t work, of course; you didn’t really think it would anyways if you’re being honest, but it didn’t hurt to try. You cautiously reach out to his shoulder, and do your best to rouse him awake while still holding your dress up with your other hand. Seungmin slowly blinks awake, mumbling something you can’t decipher as his senses slowly return to reality one by one.

He blinks a few times more, processing the sight before him; you leaning towards him, your dress loosely covering your body with the support of the hand not placed on his shoulder. He refuses to let his eyes linger on the image of your barely concealed cleavage before him, instead putting all of his effort into looking back up to your face. "Need my help now?" he correctly assumes, and you nod as you straighten back up.

Seungmin sits up from the bed, watches you as you turn to return to the bathroom, expecting him to follow. He does his best to ignore what the sight of your exposed skin does to him; the only reason he has this view is because you trust him and view him as a best friend- he really can't afford to be having any impure thoughts about you. (A little late for that in all honesty, but he'll atone for it later.)

The door is wide open, but he knocks on the doorframe to announce himself before he steps through- a sign of respect and decency. "Thanks," you smile at him briefly as he steps inside the bathroom and takes his place behind you. "I can't zip it up on my own," you explain, and yeah, he can see that clearly; the bottom of the zipper lies on your tailbone, your panties ever so slightly peeking in the v-shape the zipper creates with the two sides of your dress.

He swallows and pretends he doesn't notice, instead looking to where the zipper ends just around your shoulder blades. “Do you think Hyunjin will think I look good?” you can’t help but ask as Seungmin’s hand falls to your zipper, slowly pulling it up. It gives you goosebumps- not the cold zipper on your skin, but the way his hand feels just over your spine, running along it as he zips up your dress.

You're not sure what reply you hope to hear; maybe it's a question with no right answer. “If he’s smart, he will,” Seungmin answers; he’d have to be an idiot not to. “You’re beautiful." You flush as you look at him in the mirror, standing behind you but not at all obscured thanks to your smaller frame. 

You know he means it- he teases and he pretends, but he’d never lie about something like that. You already know that to be true; he’s said it himself- that the thing’s he says with a serious tone are the things he really means. He’s not looking at you, his eyes fixed on your back until he’s finished with the zipper, ignoring the way the hooks of your bra stare back at him until your dress closes and they are obscured from his sight, the way they should be.

He finally meets your gaze again when he’s done, meeting your eyes through the reflection of the mirror. Your face feels impossibly hot, and you hope he thinks the pink on your face is from the makeup you applied as opposed to the real blush it is. You still have things to do- put on your accessories, fix-up and style your hair, put on your prettiest pair of heels, but even without all that flashy glamor added on, Seungmin already thinks you’re radiant as can be.

Though he’s done with the zipper, his hand hasn’t left your back yet, and neither of you have broken the gaze you keep in the mirror. There’s a moment where you think he’ll turn you around and kiss you, or that you’ll kiss him; and truly, he wants to, but he shouldn’t. This night is supposed to be about you and Hyunjin, and you don’t need the ‘practice’ anymore- it was only ever an excuse to begin with. 

He clears his throat as he lets you go, and you turn your gaze away from the mirror, swallowing down all your feelings and nerves as you rummage through your bag for the accessories you brought with you. “It won’t take me much longer to get ready,” you say as you continue to rummage through your bag- you found what you need, but taking it out means having to meet Seungmin’s gaze, and you’re not ready to do that again just yet.

“Right, I should get ready too,” Seungmin mumbles mostly to himself as he turns to leave. You don’t look up from your bag, even as he lingers in the doorway. You can tell he stopped to look at you, you can feel his eyes observing you, but still you don’t glance up at him. “Yeah, not much time left ‘til we gotta go,” you say, and he responds with a simple, quiet ‘yeah’ before he fully walks out into the main room. 

There’s a sense of dread that lingers- both of you having a similar feeling weighing on your hearts, while ironically thinking you feel it all by yourself, that the other person doesn’t possibly feel the same way. A situation that would easily be mended by communication, but the gap between what you perceive to be true, and the real truth is not so easily crossed. The metaphoric rope that connects you and Seungmin together is frayed, and you worry that an uncomfortable conversation will cause that connection to completely snap. 

So you swallow your feelings once more, you put on your earrings and style your hair, and you realign your focus. You can’t keep thinking about what your affection for Seungmin means or why the thought of this ending tonight weighs on you so heavily. You’re close to getting what you’ve been working for, and that should be where your thoughts linger- on Hyunjin. The best friend you’ve always thought you had feelings for, the one you believed yourself to be in love with. 

Stepping inside the ballroom with Seungmin is utterly nerve wracking; it’s the moment you’ve been waiting for, the moment that 3 months of fake relationship practice were leading up to. This is where you show your best performance, where you parade around on Seungmin’s arm and look at him with the best heart eyes you can muster. Not that it’s a hard task, these days- you find yourself doing it without even thinking about it. 

You.. like him, if you had to guess. But do you like him more than you thought you liked Hyunjin? You guess that’s the answer you’re really trying to find tonight. You never thought it’s where you’d be today when you first conjured up this plan, there was no way to anticipate how much your newfound closeness with Seungmin would affect the feelings you thought you were so sure of. 

It’s natural to be confused, isn’t it? Surely anyone would be in this scenario; you can’t kiss and hug and cuddle someone for so long and feel nothing, right? And it’s your own fault, you can’t blame anyone but yourself for the predicament you’ve found yourself in. You reap what you sow, as your grandmother likes to say. “Don’t be so on edge, everything’ll work out,” Seungmin leans to whisper in your ear. 

You’ve been so tense ever since you left the guest room together- half nervous to see Hyunjin again after months and half ‘oh my god why does Seungmin look so good tonight.’ As if it wasn’t enough that you were confused about your feelings, Seungmin had to come out looking so devastatingly handsome in his perfectly tailored suit and neatly slicked hair. “Yeah, you’re right, sorry,” you respond and he shakes his head, offers a reassuring smile before he looks around the room.

“He’s around here somewhere, we’ll see him soon enough,” Seungmin says as his eyes continue to scan the packed ballroom. Oh, that makes sense- he thinks you’re tense because you haven’t run into Hyunjin yet. If things were the same as a few months ago, you think that may have been true. Now.. you’re not really sure what’s true. Hyunjin will see you as a couple and he’ll either silently rage with envy or beam with joy for his two best friends- and you don’t know which outcome is the one you want anymore. 

“Oh, I think I see him,” Seungmin mutters to you, and discreetly points in the direction he thinks he’s found your other best friend. You see him now too, standing near the balconies looking bored out of his mind, champagne glass in hand. He’s not looking at anything in particular, just vaguely observing his surroundings while occasionally sipping from his drink- probably hoping you two will show up soon and save him from his boredom. 

You take a breath, wrap your arms around Seungmin's own arm and squeeze it close to your chest. “Now or never,” you mutter and he nods, steeling himself for the penultimate moment just as do. “Hyunjin!” you call from across the hall, dragging Seungmin along with you as you half-sprint up to him, your designer heels loudly clanking on the marble floor. Hyunjin returns your smile when he spots you, and laughs when he sees Seungmin practicly scowling as he’s dragged along- it’s classic, really; you always do things like this to them. Just strong arm them along everywhere you want to go, through everything you want to do. 

“Hey! I’m glad you both made it, it’s been forever,” Hyunjin smiles as you complete your approach. He feels bad he hasn’t seen either of his best friends in months, but royal duties and all.. It kept him very unfortunately occupied. He looks at you both inquisitively when you don’t let go of Seungmin’s arm or untangle yourself from him- normally you would have by now, having reached the destination you wanted to drag him to. It’s.. curious, to say the least. 

Your hand goes from being wrapped around Seungmin and holding his arm, to intertwining your fingers as you hold his hand. Hyunjin raises a brow, but says nothing- he’ll wait for one of you to clear up what he’s thinking. “Mhm, we’ve been waiting to see you in person to tell you something important!” you say as you squeeze Seungmin’s hand, shooting him your best lovey dovey look before you bring your gaze back to Hyunjin. 

Seungmin wants to sigh and roll his eyes and call you dumb for looking at him like that, but he bites his tongue. It’s the last time you’ll ever shoot him with that look of pure puppy love, and it’s best not to ruin it by defaulting to his usual personality; cherish it while you have it, as they say. “Well spit it out then, don’t keep me on the edge of my seat,” Hyunjin’s smile grows, looking between the two of you with eager anticipation to hear the confession that lingers on your tongue. 

Hyunjin’s positive reaction deters you a little; surely he can see that you’re clinging to Seungmin to an unusual degree, but he doesn’t seem to react to it negatively at all- not even minutely. There’s no subtle furrow of the brow, no flash of sadness in his eyes that gets replaced by forced happiness, no twitch in his hands from jealousy or frustration. Seungmin was right, as always- Hyunjin is just going to be a good friend. He won’t have a single negative thing to say. 

“W-Well, we.. uh-” you stumble on your words, and curse yourself for floundering at the most pivotal moment. This is what everything you’ve done has been leading up to, you can’t falter now.. and yet, you are. You look at Seungmin and your grip on his hand tightens, panic unwittingly settling in as a lump forms in your throat. He flashes you a look of sympathy, squeezes your hand in a subtle show of comfort, before he turns away from your gaze to look at Hyunjin. 

He doesn’t like it, but he’ll take the lead from here- for your sake. “We’re dating,” he says as confidently and smoothly as he can bring himself to. He lets go of your hand and wraps his arm around your waist, pulls you closer for added effect, sincerely tries his best to spark the jealousy he knew you wanted to see. But Hyunjin doesn’t look jealous, or sad, or even angry. He just looks.. happy. 

“Gosh, finally! Congrats! I always knew you two would end up together,” Hyunjin grins and gives Seungmin a friendly pat on the shoulder. You blink as you stare between them. Huh..? Finally? What does that mean? Even Seungmin is taken aback, and mirrors what you were internally thinking. Unlike you, his utterly shocked ‘huh?’ comes out verbally. “Yeah, I always saw the way you were looking at her, Minnie. You were so obvious, I knew it was only a matter of time,” Hyunjin says with enthusiastic joy that sends you completely off kilter.

What the fuck. You feel like your entire world has been flipped upside down. What does he mean he always saw the way Seungmin looked at you? How did he look at you..? How does he look at you? Hyunjin’s puzzled now as he looks between you both; you look like your entire sense of reality has been shifted, while Seungmin looks positively mortified. “Sorry, uh- did he not mention that when he confessed?” Hyunjin asks, and then shit- maybe you were the one who confessed.

Seungmin is stubborn and aloof in his cool persona, he's the type to avoid saying what he really thinks by using teasing words, will only look at you softly when he thinks no one else is looking his way.. Hyunjin can easily imagine that he has yet to admit the true depth of his secret pining, or confessed how much he actually likes you. He feels bad for outing Seungmin if that’s the case. 

“My bad, I assumed you knew since you’re dating now and all,” he laughs a bit awkwardly while shooting Seungmin a sympathetic look. One that’s meant to say ‘sorry for blowing your stubborn, cool-guy persona.’ It’s just.. Hyunjin thought it was as obvious to you as it was to him. The way his hard expression would soften the minute you smiled at him, how he’d laugh when you’d banter back after he said something teasing and mean, how his eyes would always linger on even if there were countless other people in the room.. Wasn’t it obvious he liked you this entire time? 

“I guess I’m just surprised to hear you call it out,” you try to recover from the blatant shock, play it off as something different than it is- as if you knew all along, and you’re just surprised that Hyunjin knew too. Hyunjin chuckles a little, looking a bit more relieved after your statement. “Sorry if I ruined the illusion of Seungmin being the cool, aloof type. He’s actually a big softie, but I guess you’ve realized that by now,” he smiles. 

“Yeah I, uh- I’ve realized that,” you smile back, a bit tensely, but a smile nonetheless, “That’s what I like about him.” Seungmin, still trying to recover from his own world being flipped upside down, finally looks at you again. He doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to recover from this wildly unexpected turn in the conversation. Still realizing he has his hand on your waist, and unsure where you now stand and whether or not this is appropriate or okay anymore, he hesitantly lets you go. 

You hold his hand when he does, but it doesn’t feel like solace or consolation the way it normally would. Not hollow, or empty, but just.. not full of the same warmth it normally carries. He’s so impossibly anxious and scared- that you’re furious with him, that you’ll cut him off when the night is over, that you’ll accuse him of sabotaging this whole thing by agreeing to be your pretend boyfriend when he had very real feelings for you. 

In reality you just feel terrible about yourself and what you’ve caused. You already felt bad before the night began, and now you feel even worse- you never would’ve asked Seungmin to do this if you'd known he had feelings for you. And now his feelings were called out in the worst way possible, and you don’t think you’ll ever scrub how mortified Seungmin looked in that moment from your memory. And it was entirely your fault. 

He should’ve been allowed the chance to tell you on his own terms, and you ruined that chance. You probably also ruined any chance at having a normal relationship with him if you wanted one- because how do you recover from the humiliation of being called out on something you thought was a well guarded secret, right in front of the very person that secret was about. This entire time, he’s liked you, maybe even loved you, and you undeniably hurt him. 

He tried to deter you, he told you this wouldn’t work and he tried to resist but you pressed and pushed and prodded until he gave in. And while you could argue some of his acts were not entirely selfless, as you’re sure he must’ve enjoyed kissing you and being close to you knowing what you do now, how could you blame him for indulging in a love with someone he wanted to be with while expecting, believing, knowing, it would come to an end when you got what you wanted. 

All those years you spent pining over Hyunjin, Seungmin spent them pining over you, and he just listened, he took it in, and he never stopped supporting you, not even once. Even tonight, when it was probably breaking his heart to do so, he tried his best to reassure you, he tried to make Hyunjin jealous on your behalf.. And he complained, sure he did, but it was more part of the usual banter between you two than jealousy or hurt. At least, that’s what you always thought it was.. You never imagined there’d be anything more hiding beneath the surface. 

You should’ve known, though. It should’ve been obvious- how can you call yourself Seungmin’s best friend and not have realized? And it’s not that you missed the signs because you were willfully ignorant, but you were so tunnel-visioned, selfish, and absorbed that you never stopped to notice any of the changes. It wasn’t even until recently that you realized how much a wall he’d put up, how much he’d forced distance between you..

It makes sense, in hindsight; that it wasn’t for your sake that he stopped doing certain things and acting certain ways, but his own. While you were watching Hyunjin like a hawk for any sign that he might like you, you missed all the signs Seungmin left. You never noticed a single thing, and being reminded of how selfishly you’d spent the teenage years of your friendship makes your heart ache terribly.

“Hey uh, sorry to cut this short but.. I think Seungmin’s feeling embarrassed. Might be in need of a reset, y’know?” you say, trying to come across as a happy girlfriend stealing the chance to tease her boyfriend while also still having his best interest at heart. You look at Seungmin, try to offer him reassurance despite the situation, but he doesn’t look back at you. He’s facing Hyunjin, but he doesn’t look at him either, not really. It feels like he’s far away, somewhere distant that you can’t reach, busy reconstructing all the walls he’d let fall away, trying to build them back up as high as he can in preparation for the heartbreak he’s soon to face. 

“Of course,” Hyunjin smiles, giving his full blessing, “just come find me again later! I’d rather be a third wheel with you two lovebirds than listen to my father drone on about tax management again.” You giggle a bit and nod, waving him goodbye and forcing Seungmin out of his haze by dragging him away with you. You glance around as you push through the crowd for a private space to talk- your guest room is much too far away and the tension while going back would likely be too much for either of you to bear; better to find somewhere nearby to have this conversation. 

You fail to make it to a room after exiting the ballroom; Seungmin stops in the middle of the hallway, preventing you from dragging him along, and you’re forced to let him go and turn around to look at him. He’s pained and lost but he tries to bring himself back to the aloof persona he once had mastered, to not show how hurt and afraid he is right now. But the cracked mask that is his cool facade has splintered irreparably, and you can only see him for who he really is now. 

“Sorry it didn’t work out how you wanted. Sucks, and I know you must be hurt, but don’t give up, you can still try again, maybe there’s something else you haven’t thought of yet, you can-” Seungmin speaks in a quick ramble, not even acknowledging the massive elephant in the room- his feelings for you. “Seungmin,” you cut him off with a frown, and he’s hesitant to meet your gaze; he doesn’t know what he’ll be met with, and try as he might to reconstruct himself back to the person he was before this whole thing started, he knows deep down it’d be in vain. 

Your friendship has been irrevocably changed, and to pretend otherwise would be futile. Still, he can’t stop himself from trying- it’s all he can think to do. “You have feelings for me,” you state it plainly, and Seungmin swallows but says nothing. Doesn’t confirm, nor deny, because both options seem fucking terrible if he’s honest. Denying it is pointless and would just be a blatant lie, and confirming, making it clear that he agreed to be your fake boyfriend despite his feelings for you.. He doesn’t know how that makes him look.

In Seungmin’s head, you’ll either view him as pathetic or as a saboteur, and neither is ideal. “Why didn’t you ever tell me? If I’d known I’d never have..” He scoffs at your sentiment and looks at you incredulously. “And why would I have? You’ve been obsessed with Hyunjin for years. And I’m supposed to tell you how I feel? Be serious, Y/N, there’s no way I could’ve ever told you. And even if I had, you would’ve rejected me, so what would’ve been the point?” 

“I-” you want to say that’s not true, that you wouldn’t have rejected him or broken his heart, but who are you kidding? It absolutely fucking is. It hurts to hear it this way, but he isn’t wrong about any of it. Still, just because he’s right, that doesn’t mean you’re entirely wrong either. Even if you’d have rejected him, surely he still should’ve been honest with you? You’d never have done this if you’d known. 

You made mistakes, but so did he.. right? You know you've been selfish for way too long, but you're not the kind of person to intentionally hurt a friend. You never would've dragged Seungmin through the mud just to get what you want, and the fact that he hid his feelings and allowed himself to be hurt just to make you happy.. That's not the kind of thing you want him to do.

Your friendship shouldn't be built on Seungmin's self-sacrifice, he shouldn't allow himself to be second place just to make you and Hyunjin happy. To be selfless is a virtue, but too much can leave him with nothing, and that's been your concern since the day you realized how selfish you've been. You realized that Seungmin will give, and give, and give, and he'll never ask you for anything in return. But that’s not what friendship and love should be built upon. Surely he understands that you never wanted this- for your best friend to offer himself up as your emotional martyr.

And with the confusion of your feelings compounding on it, the realization that maybe it’s Seungmin who you love while your infatuation with Hyunjin was hardly more than a fairytale childhood crush- how are you supposed to live with yourself after causing unspeakable heartache to him? And would he even believe you if you told him that you love him? You don’t even know if you can believe yourself.

He sees how hurt you are, the confusion and the guilt and the sorrow, and the anger that grew within him instantly deflates. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped you, I just- I need to be alone,” Seungmin mutters his apology and walks briskly past you, towards the direction of the guest hall.

You call to him, but he doesn’t stop or turn around, and you don’t follow. You want to, but you know you should respect that he needs time to himself; he has a lot to process, as you’re sure you do too. You owe it to him, yourself, and even Hyunjin, to sort out your feelings too.

Seungmin didn't see you or Hyunjin again that night, couldn't bring himself to keep playing the pretend boyfriend after every thing that happened. He went to your guest room for his stuff, isolated himself in his own room for the remainder of the evening, leaving the door to your room unlocked and the key resting on the desk so you could get in and out without having to speak with him.

He felt bad about it, but he just couldn't face you again; it was too difficult. Apparently, you returned to the ballroom alone and told Hyunjin the truth. Seungmin knows because he woke up in the middle of the night to countless texts from Hyunjin- apologizing, saying he didn't know, offering his condolences and to be there for him. It fucking sucked, made him feel like even more of a pathetic loser.

You told Hyunjin the truth because it felt like the right thing to do following what happened; he would've known eventually anyways, so it felt better to rip the band-aid off right away. And you confessed a lot more than just that; you told Hyunjin everything. About how this whole thing started, about your confusion on how you felt now, about how terribly your heart ached after realizing how much damage you'd caused.

Hyunjin offered you his shoulder to cry on, hugged you and apologized even though he didn’t need to, and ironically, that’s partly what gave you the answer you were looking for. Because your heart didn’t pound when he hugged you, you didn’t get butterflies when he wiped your tears, your face didn’t flush when offered his hand for support. It was so platonic- and the only time you smiled was when he said he was sure Seungmin would forgive you and everything will work out.

It’s over a day when Seungmin finally sees you again; you have to pass through his city to get to yours, and so it always made sense to leave Hyunjin’s castle together when traveling home. The ride is tense and awkward, to say the least. You can’t bring yourself to say a word and neither can he, the two of you only taking peeks at each other when you’re sure the other isn’t looking. Seungmin stares out the window and you stare at your hands resting in your lap, while your driver compensates for the unusual atmosphere by turning up the radio.

Approaching Seungmin’s estate makes you indescribably emotional. A lump forms in your throat when the door is opened for him and he exits the car, you clench your fists and try to swallow down the intense emotion when the door closes and you watch him begin to walk away. It doesn’t feel right, none of this feels right. You’re worried that if you don’t talk now, then you never will; that the damage will be irreparable if you let the distance grow and feelings fester. You need to talk to Seungmin, and you need to do it now. 

You hastily unbuckle your seatbelt and open the car door, running out to chase after Seungmin and not stopping even as your driver calls to you from behind. Seungmin, who is almost to his front door, turns around when he hears the commotion, and is surprised to see you quickly approaching him. “What are you doing..?” he can’t help but ask; really though, he shouldn’t be surprised. You always do things like this, and once you’ve made a decision to do something, you’ll stubbornly stick to that decision ‘til the end. You’ve decided you’re going to talk to him, and he knows there’ll be no getting out of it.

“We need to talk,” you assert yourself clearly, even go as far as to step past him and into his house before he can. What a brat; he almost smiles from how familiar it is. The guards who were holding the door open for Seungmin look a little puzzled, but they make no comment- it’s not their place to do so. Seungmin doesn’t see you when he steps inside, but it’s easy enough to guess where you went. 

And he finds you exactly where he expected to, waiting for him right outside his bedroom door. Now or never, he thinks as he unlocks it, offering for you to step inside first. You do just that, waiting until follows behind and closes the door to speak. “What are we now? Friends? More than friends? ..Neither?” you cut straight to the chase, leaving no room for awkward and unnecessary pre-emptive small talk. “I don’t know. Isn’t that up to you?” Seungmin says, stepping past you to sit on his bed. 

You frown as you watch him, but stay firm. “It shouldn’t be entirely up to me. What do you want?” “Does it matter what I want?” Seungmin cuts back. It’s a bit harsh, but he’s still trying to defend against his heart getting torn to shreds; you can’t entirely blame him. “Of course it matters,” you tell him, voice soft with pain. “Sorry,” he mumbles again, sighing as he flops back and stares at the ceiling. He knows he needs to stop snapping at you, his pain isn’t all in your hands. It takes two to tango, and he did more than his fair share of leading the dance. 

Honesty scares him. Raw emotion scares him. Telling you how he’s always felt about you scares him, and telling you what he hopes you’ll be scares him. But that fear has always been a hindrance, and he needs to stop being shackled by it; especially when you’re trying so hard to hear what he really has to say. “I’ve always liked you, for years I’ve liked you. But you.. I didn’t think there was anything I could do. So I just.. didn't do anything.” 

You sit down next to him, looking down at him as you do, and he in turn moves his gaze towards you. You can see the apprehension in his eyes, and maybe it’s presumptuous of you to do so, but you lay your hand over his in an effort to reassure him. He looks a bit surprised, but he accepts it, and rotates his hand around so you can hold it properly. “I try not to, but even now I still want to be with you,” he admits, and it’s not easy for him to do, but he can’t shove down how he feels anymore- not if he wants a chance with you. 

“So I didn’t ruin what we have?” you ask and Seungmin quickly sits up, squeezing your hand as he does. “Of course not, I mean- I was.. upset and I took it out on you, but.. You could never ruin anything,” he says, emphasizing the point by moving closer to you; and it makes you feel warm and happy. Because he’s bridging the gap on his own, willingly putting his walls back down, leaving the mask off.

“I'm so sorry for everything, I really am. And it's okay if you don't want to, but can we go back to what we were before? Well- not before before, but like- when you were my fake boyfriend. But not fake this time either, I want you to be my real boyfriend, and-” You’re rambling, you know, but you’re just trying to be clear, you just don’t want to mess this up again, so-

“Shut up already, idiot,” Seungmin says, an affectionate smile and lilt in his voice before he’s pressing his lips to yours to stop your rambling himself. “Don’t be an asshole when I’m pouring my heart out,” you complain, smiling despite yourself. “I thought you wanted to go back to before though?” he says with a grin, and you roll your eyes and shove him, mumbling ‘I hate you’ while he chuckles. And it feels good. It feels like everything you’ve been missing and everything you needed. No tension, no dread, no fear- the way it should have always been.

You kiss him first this time, and he pulls you in closer, lets you crawl your way into his lap the way you’ve wanted to for weeks at this point (not that he’s even aware how much you’ve fantasized about it- at least, you hope he hasn’t.) “I missed you,” you breathe as you settle on his lap, and he pulls away, looks up at you with the smug smile that tells you a smartass comment is going to follow. “We were only apart for like, a day,” he can’t help himself from saying, laughing softly when you pout and whine. 

“I know that! But it was the most miserable day of my life, I’ll have you know,” you huff, pout growing as you turn your face away and cross your arms. Seungmin’s expression softens, and he reaches out to your face, rests his hand on your cheek and urges you to look at him again. He understands, he really does; it was just as miserable for him. So many doubts and fears wreaking havoc on his brain and making him assume the worst had still yet to come. “I missed you too,” he mumbles softly, earnestly and a bit shy. 

Seungmin isn’t used to vulnerability and honesty, but he’ll get used to it for you. He’ll learn to tell you over and over again how much he loves you if that’s what you need. And the dynamic you have is fun; you like the banter, the teasing, and how much affection lies beneath the surface of his spoken words. You don’t expect him to completely change, nor do you want him to; but he can stand to be a little more open with his feelings. Just a little.

"Got you to admit it," you smile, and he scoffs when he realizes he's been duped. He calls you a brat, lovingly and affectionately, before he’s kissing you again. You push him backwards onto the bed, gentle but still assertive, continuing to kiss him while his hands find purchase on your hips. He lets out that little sigh as you kiss him- the one that always drives you crazy and makes your stomach do flips.

You used to feel guilt over what that noise caused you to think, the way it caused your body to react and where it led your mind to wander. You wonder if it’s okay now; to allow your mind to go there, if Seungmin would be okay with going further than you’ve gone before- kissing new spots, touching new places, experiencing new sensations. You wonder if he’s thought about it as much as you have, and if guilt made him swallow it down when he did, same as you. 

In the few months of your fake relationship, despite all that practiced closeness and kissing, you never made out- you’ve gotten close, hands starting to roam slightly too close to an intimate place, tongues just seconds away from passing parted lips, but one of you would always stop when you realized you were about to get carried away. And he’d gotten hard more than once, but you always pretended not to notice, acting like you didn’t feel it pressing into your thigh while your legs were tangled together. 

Acknowledging it would’ve meant confronting feelings you weren’t ready to at the time, and there was always the possibility it meant nothing, that it was just a physical reaction independent of his brain and how he felt about you. But now that you know all that you do, you hope it means he’s always wanted more with you.. And you have to admit, the self restraint it’d take not to act on his desires makes him all the more appealing. What can you say except consent is key, and knowing he has self control even when he wants you bad is sexy.

He does it again- that unconscious squeeze of your hips the more you kiss him, and you wonder what exactly it stems from; a desire to have you as close as possible, a way to ground himself as he gets worked up, or maybe even both. You hope it's both. You pull away from his kiss, sitting up and staring down at him, your hands lingering on his chest. “I want to ask you something,” you speak softly, voice almost a whisper, face growing impossibly hot. “And don’t give me a smartass reply, or I’m leaving!” You follow up sternly, and Seungmin chuckles, grabs one of the hands you have resting on his chest, and intertwines your fingers. 

“I won’t, promise,” he says, not a hint of teasing in his voice or his smile. As fun as it is to tease you and poke fun, he can tell when the moment calls for him to be earnest and take you seriously. You breathe a sigh of relief, or maybe you’re letting out a breath to ground yourself before you speak; either way, Seungmin watches you attentively, a bit puzzled but entirely patient. “Do you.. Did you ever think about, uh- doing more when we were kissing..?” you ask, nervously chewing on your lip as you wait for him to respond.

“Oh,” Seungmin blinks, his own face growing hot alongside yours. He promised he’d give an honest, serious answer, but even if he didn’t, he doubts he would’ve been able to play it off. Looking into your eyes while he tries to admit it makes the words lodge in his throat, so he turns his head and looks away, the hot red of his blush burning all the way to the tips of his ears. Same as when he admitted he wanted to kiss you, all he says is “yes.” No elaboration, no ifs, whens, or buts; just yes. And that’s all he needs to say, really. It speaks for itself.

He hesitates to look back at you and see your reaction, but the moment he does turn his head, you’re kissing him again, more eager and impassioned than you ever have before, the noise of surprise he lets out muffled by your lips. Your tongue peeks out, just barely brushes over his own, almost cautiousm and an involuntary noise of approval escapes you when you feel his tongue slip past his lips to meet yours.

You separate your hand from Seungmin’s, and he brings his hand back to your hip while yours returns to his chest. You open your mouth for him, invite his tongue further in, and he squeezes your hips once more when you do. The feeling of his tongue sliding against yours is dizzying, makes your stomach fill to the brim with butterflies, excitement building in your gut in ways you’ve never experienced. 

You feel him growing hard beneath you, and you don’t ignore it the way you would have before; you purposely press into it, grind yourself down on Seungmin’s lap and swallow the gasp he lets out. You lose track of how long you stay like this, grinding on his lap while your tongues swirl around each other's, your heavy breaths and every noise swallowed by the other. You’re out of breath by the time you finally pull away, your chests rapidly rising and falling, his shirt twisted in your palms. 

Seungmin looks almost dazed, and to be fair, you sort of are too; neither of you ever expected you’d be here like this. To Seungmin, you were unobtainable; someone he loved but could never have, and he tried so many times to make his peace with it, though he never could. There's a part of him that still can’t even believe you’re choosing him, that thinks maybe this is a dream he’ll soon wake up from. And in your case, it took you too long to realize your priorities were wrong, and your feelings didn’t always mean what you thought they did; that love is more than what looks good and correct on paper. 

You realized you don’t need perfection and matching titles and fairytale romance. Love doesn’t follow a formula, it doesn’t adhere to standards of nobility and preconceived notions on who a princess should love. You have two best friends, and they’re both vitally important to you, but the one you truly fell in love with turned out to be so opposite from what you thought your type truly was. You love Seungmin, with his quips, sarcasm, imperfections, and all. It’s unfortunate you didn’t realize it sooner, but you’re happy you’re sure of it now. And now that you have him, you’re never letting him go. 

“I want you,” you tell him, and though you’re the most shy you’ve ever been, and can’t quite look him in the eye as you admit it, you still get it out, clear and direct. It’s impressive, enviable, how shyness doesn’t prevent you from ever speaking your mind. “Do you.. want me too?” you ask, and he can feel your hands trembling as you continue to hold onto his shirt, waiting for his answer with bated breath. “Yes,” he assures; always has, and always will. 

You smile before you lean down to capture his lips in another kiss, wet, hot and messy. “This okay?” you pull away just slightly to ask, still so close that he can feel your every breath on his lips, your hand traveling down his chest and over his stomach. More than okay, he wants to say, but all that he can manage to let out is another “yes.” Your fingers ghost over the hem of his pants, his breath hitching when you palm him over the fabric.

It’s embarrassing how much pre-cum has stained and moistened the fabric of his pants, and he’s sure you can feel it beneath your hand. He closes his eyes, furrows his brows as he tries not to become flustered and increasingly more red. A breathy groan escapes him when you slide your hand inside, your hand encircling his cock, and he opens his eyes to look at you, twitching involuntarily when he sees the hungry look in your eyes. 

You kiss him when he starts to bite at his lip, greedily swallow every groan that tumbles out of him. Seungmin can’t believe how much better your hand feels than his own, how soft and warm and perfect- and when you pull away from his lips to stare down at him, he looks up at you like you hold the entire world in your hands. You’ve never done this before, but instinct carries you far, and if Seungmin’s reactions are any sign, you’re doing a good enough job so far. 

Carefully removing your hand from inside his pants and sitting up completely, you move your hands to the end of your dress, where it pools on your upper thighs, and take it in your hands, pulling it up and over your head, tossing it onto the floor behind you. Seungmin’s eyes grow wide, swallowing thickly as he stares at you. He wasn’t expecting it, but it makes sense that you’d do this; you’ve always been the type to act first and foremost. 

You smile at him, shy and sweet, but still impossibly confident too. You take his hands and bring them to your chest, let him grope you over your bra, and it sends him reeling. You’re assertive, direct, a go-getter; when you know you want something, you just go for it, simple as that. But still, this is.. you’re gonna drive him crazy before the night is over. You reach behind your back, unhook your bra with familiar ease, the straps sliding down your arm.

Seungmin swallows, knowing the moment he lets you go your bra will fall from your body and expose your chest to him. Deciding to take a page out of your book, and display some confidence despite the fact that his face is impossibly hot, he takes his hands away, lifts his back off the bed and pulls his own shirt off before he can get distracted by the image of you bare before him.

You toss your fallen bra aside, and he allows himself to stare for just a moment before he brings a hand to the nape of your neck and brings you down to kiss him. You squeak in surprise, but then he feels you smiling against his lips as you return his kiss. Mirroring what you did before, his hand travels between your thighs, feeling your heat over your panties. It’s a bit of an awkward reach that causes strain on his arm, but the minute he feels the wet patch, he doesn’t even fucking think about the strain anymore. 

Seungmin brings his fingers to the hem of your panties, glancing at you before he moves any further. You nod at him, giving him permission to slip his hand inside. And fuck, you’re soaked- he barely even has to move his fingers around to get them completely coated. “You’re- ‘s so wet,” he breathes out, almost amazed, and you whine, burying your face in his shoulder as some semblance of shyness finally clutches you.

“Your fault,” you mumble, and Seungmin chuckles, kissing the top of your head affectionately. “You’re cute when you’re being shy,” he tells you, and you quickly lift your head to glare at him. “Don’t get cocky, I will actually kill you,” you threaten. “And spend the rest of your life without me when just one day makes you miserable?” he teases, and you whine, grabbing one of his pillows and hitting him with it. 

“Remind me to never tell you when I miss you ever again,” you huff, and Seungmin coos, the menace that he is, before he pulls you into a sweet, passionate kiss. You easily melt into it, further complaints dying when his tongue touches yours. He takes your breasts in his hands again, thumbs rubbing over your nipples and making your entire body shudder. You gasp when he takes them between his fingers, squirming and whimpering when he rolls and softly pinches them. 

His cock unceremoniously twitches in response to your pleasured noises, each one driving him crazier than the last; he needs you bad. “Want you,” he mumbles against your lips, and you hum, pulling away to look at him. “Wanna fuck me?” you ask, head tilted as a coy smile plays on your lips. Fucking hell- you call him a menace, but you’re the real threat here; you make him insane. “Isn’t that obvious?” he asks, ignoring the heat on his face and trying to act as unphased by your words as possible. 

“Yeah, it is actually,” you smile and he scoffs, rolling his eyes as you giggle. Menace. You lift your hips off his lap, moving off to the side of the bed so you can slide your panties down your legs. He watches you intently, swallowing when you turn back to him and gaze at him expectantly. Right, he has to get undressed too. Lifting off the bed, he tries not to think about the fact that you’re staring at him as he pulls his pants and underwear down his thighs in one motion. 

You crawl back in his lap when he’s finished kicking the bunched fabric off his legs, neither of you paying any mind to where on his floor it lands. Seungmin’s brain feels like it’s going to short circuit while he’s staring at you; you’re beautiful, sexy, straddling his lap entirely naked, a moment he thought would only ever exist in his wet dreams. You take a breath, steady your nerves as you reach between your bodies to take his cock in your hand. 

It twitches in your hand, throbs as you align it with your dripping hole. You swallow, glancing back up at Seungmin’s face before you act. He can’t take your other hand in his as you’re using it to support your weight, so instead he reaches for your face, gently caressing your cheek with his thumb. You lean into his touch, smiling softly and indulging in his affection for just a moment before you start to slowly sink down on him. 

You squeeze your eyes shut, bottom lip caught between your teeth, nails digging into the flesh of his shoulder as you continue. Even just the sensation of the tip pushing inside is overwhelming, and the more of him you take, the more the pleasure in your gut builds. It’s unfamiliar, there’s a sting and a dull ache, but mostly it just feels good- better than anything you’ve ever felt. 

You open your eyes and look at Seungmin when your hips are finally flush with his, butterflies exploding when you see him struggling to keep himself together. His breaths are harsh and heavy, sweat dripping down his forehead, jaw clenched as he tries to prevent himself from cumming too fast. “You- you okay?” he asks, voice tense with effort, and you nod, leaning down to capture his lips in a hungry kiss. 

He throbs when you do, his hands moving to your hips and holding them tightly, your naked chests pressed together. When you’re ready, you experimentally roll your hips, whimpering softly into the kiss while you cling to his body. He groans with each slow roll of your hips, and it takes all he has not to bruise you in his grip and to stop his hips from chasing yours when you start to carefully bounce. 

It’s slow at first, still adjusting and finding the rhythm you're most comfortable with, what works for you and what feels good, but when you figure it out, God, please have mercy on him. The noises you make turn his brain into an absolute puddle, and when you whimper out his name he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to recover. And the way you clench around him, the wet sounds between your legs and of your thighs slapping together each time your hips rise and fall back to his lap- he can’t fucking take it. 

“M-Minnie-” you gasp, your pace faltering, legs screaming from all the exertion. “C-Close, but- ‘m tired,” you whine and pout, doing your best to push through the fatigue, but you’re not sure how much longer you can. Your legs and knees ache terribly, having been bent long before his dick was even inside you, and they’re in desperate need of a break. “Wanna switch?” he asks and you quickly nod, uttering a small “please,” as you still your hips.

Seungmin helps you lie on your back, quickly taking his place between your legs and pressing himself back inside in one swift motion. You gasp, eyes rolling back when he starts to quickly fuck into you, your hands clutching and twisting the sheets beneath you. He grabs your hands and makes you hold his instead, intertwines your fingers and makes no complaint when your nails dig into the flesh under his knuckles. 

He kisses you desperately, tongue messily swirling around yours, swallowing every loud whimper and moan that spills from your throat. Tears prick the corners of your eyes, your stomach knots and twists, your entire body trembles from the overwhelming pleasure. You snake your dominant hand from out of his grip and bring it to your clit, rubbing it in quick, messy circles. He pulls away from your lips to look between your bodies and watch, cursing when you squeeze him tighter. 

Before you know it, you’re gasping and crying, body jolting and squirming as your orgasm washes over you, hot pleasure licking every inch of your body. Seungmin’s head falls forward, gritting his teeth as he sloppily fucks you through it, his own release not far behind. You’re breathless and panting, but you grab his face and pull him into another kiss regardless, and it sends him over the edge, his eyes rolling back as his cum shoots inside you in long, hot spurts. 

Seungmin pulls out slowly, carefully, paying no mind to the mess his cum trickling out of you makes on his blankets. It doesn’t matter, he can call someone to change the sheets for him later- right now he just wants to focus on you. He lies next to you and kisses you, over and over, holding you close to his chest and squeezing you in his arms. “Clingy, aren’t we?” you playfully mutter against his lips, and he can’t even bring himself to say something witty in response.

“Yeah,” he smoothly admits, not denying one bit how infatuated he is with you, “I’m obsessed with you. That a problem?” You blink, all the red that left your face instantly returning- you weren’t expecting a response like that, nor for him to say it so earnestly. “Not since I love you,” you say after you recover, smiling shyly and giggling when he seems surprised. “Do you?” he asks, and you pout; does he still not think you do, even after all that? 

“Of course I do! I love you so much, Minnie, you.. You’re the only one I want,” you speak from the heart, and Seungmin smiles, playful and smug. “I know. I just wanted to hear you say it again,” he tells you, and you shove him, whining loudly when he laughs. “You’re such an ass!” you cry, and he pulls you back to him, hugging you close and pecking your lips when you pout. “I love you too,” he says, so sweetly that it makes you melt. 

You stay cuddled together like that for some time, limbs tangled together, comfortable and secure. Neither of you wants to be the one to break away first, and though you teased him for it, you love how clingy Seungmin can be when he lets his guard down. You hope he leaves it down a lot from now on; because you love him, and with how stubborn you are, you’ll never let him be pried from your fingers. He’s yours, and you're his, now, forever, always.

It took longer than you would’ve liked to realize it, but this is the love you’ve always wanted. Seungmin completes you, he’s your missing piece, the one who understands you. Similar in the ways that matters, and contrasts you perfectly in the places you differ. You bicker and you tease and sometimes you fight, but you love with your whole hearts; and you’ll never again doubt that or be confused on what it is you want, because this is it. It’s not the fairytale you dreamed of as a kid, but it’s better than that; because it’s real, Seungmin’s love is real, and there’s nothing better you could ever ask for.

[straylightdream]

𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

full stray kids list

feedback and reblog with tags are greatly appreciate when you read one of my fics!

@straylightdream — all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any fic, reaction, or piece of original writing posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed.

~

contains smut: ♡

ｃｏｎｎｅｃｔｉｎｇ ｓｅｒｉｅｓ

ssfw - college au

ilysb (i’m gonna love you) - coming soon

between the lines ♡

arranged marriage au

↳ After being used a nothing more then a pawn to gain the upper hand on Chan. They’re left in a strained marriage and only one way out.

outta my head ♡

neighbors au / fuckboy chan

↳ He’s a lives next door and is someone who sleeps around often. You’re a nurse who is struggling to get enough sleep because of his night time activities.

illicit affair ♡

modern royal au / star-crossed lovers

↳ He was Prince and soon to be King, and she was his a royal assistant who looked after him. Thing between them have changed as they cross a line that they probably shouldn’t of crossed.

somebody else ♡

featuring: bang chan x f.reader, lee know x f.reader

friends to lovers au

↳  She loved him more then anything or anyone in all the galaxy. From the moment they met he was suddenly her everything.

give yourself a try ♡

fake dating au

↳ She had to attend her estrange fathers wedding, and didn’t want to go alone. Chan offers to go as her fake boyfriend so she doesn’t have to face the wedding alone.

where were you ♡

exes to lovers / fuckboy chan

↳  They were high school sweethearts and Chan let his ego get the best of him. He her high and dry without a second thought.

golden hour ♡

featuring: bang chan x f.reader x hwang hyunjin

↳  The three of them had fallen into a habit for sharing a bed and cuddling. What happens when feelings get involved?

almost losing you ♡

monster hunter au

↳ Loving him was never easy and you wished that someone else could of stolen your heart. Someone who is wasn’t too afraid of breaking your heart.

about last night ♡

↳ you have been playing a game of cat and mouse for too long. Things come to head when you dance with someone while he watches.

i think I like you ♡ (ssfw)

friends to lover, mutual pining, college au

↳ I’ll be right here waiting for us.

not in the same way ♡

friends with benefits

↳ things get messy with feelings get involved with casual sex.

I wanna be yours ♡

roommates / friends to lovers / blind date

↳ “If you keep pacing you’re going to burn a hole in the title,” Minho said standing in the doorway.

Stopping in your tracks you looked up at Minho with wide eyes, “is it too late to cancel?”

crying over you

established relationship

↳ even after a bad fight he’ll still come to you to protect you during a thunderstorm.

its not living

friends to lovers

↳ after years of being friends you talk about what the future holds for you.

champagne & wax ♡

↳ after two years together you decide to spice things up.

death by a thousand cuts ♡ (my lover)

↳  one bad fight leads to you breaking up. What happens when you can’t stay away from the one person you truly love.

run to you ♡

friends to lovers

↳ after running away from an abusive ex there is only one person you know you’ll truly feel safe with. 

what am I missing? ♡

feat: 3racha

↳ in your mid to late twenties you’re left wondering if you missed your sexual awakening. With a the help of friends you start to really find yourself.

rose-colored boy ♡

↳ Life never goes as planned, when you were younger you always imagined as reaches your mid twenties you would be married with kids. Instead you’re stuck at home helping take care of your sick grandmother and still desperately searching for her fathers approval. The only thing in your life that makes you feel normal is Chan.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬

be my mistake ♡

featuring: bang chan x f.reader, changbin x f.reader

roommate / friends to lovers au

status: 40% done

↳ It started out as a simple crush and led to so much more. Unexpected feelings come to a head when when you learn you mean so much more to your roommates then you ever expected

[softsan]

・⊹ 🎐 ˙ ̟!! STRAY KIDS COMIC BOOK AU

key: fluff 🤍 , angst 🖇️ , suggestive 🍶 , smut 🥛 , adult themes 🍚 , coming soon 📨 , in progress 🎧 , completed 📑 , requests 📁 .

✉️ ・ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ・ 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐁𝐎𝐀𝐑𝐃 ・ 𝐘/𝐍'𝐒 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 ・ ᝰ

˚ 🫧 ⊹ 08:08. — bang chan 5k ; 🤍 , 🖇️ , 🍶 , 🍚 , 📨 , comic book au synopsis - . - read here.

˚ 🫧 ⊹ 06:06. — lee minho 5k ; 🤍 , 🖇️ , 🍶 , 🍚 , 📨 , comic book au synopsis - you were always the antagonist— always playing the scorned supporting role in comics. however, after an era in the system you were accidentally casted as the mary sue lead. for once you destine to end up with the dashing male hero, the story's main protagonist. however, what will happens when you find yourself unexplainably drawn to the villain lee minho instead? - read here.

˚ 🫧 ⊹ 03:03. — seo changbin 5k ; 🤍 , 🖇️ , 🍶 , 🍚 , 📨 , comic book au synopsis - . - read here.

˚ 🫧 ⊹ 11:11. — hwang hyunjin 5k ; 🤍 , 🖇️ , 🍶 , 🍚 , 📨 , comic book au synopsis - you were an avid reader of the popular action pact comic book series 'domino’. after your favourite comic’s abrupt and unsatisfactory ending, you find yourself unexpectedly thrust into the story and face first with the main protagonist hyunjin. unbeknownst to you, you have continued the comic, changing the author’s original intentions. - read here.

˚ 🫧 ⊹ 06:06. — han jisung 5k ; 🤍 , 🖇️ , 🍶 , 🍚 , 📨 , comic book au synopsis - . - read here.

˚ 🫧 ⊹ 07:07. — lee felix 5k ; 🤍 , 🖇️ , 🍶 , 🍚 , 📨 , comic book au synopsis - . - read here.

˚ 🫧 ⊹ 10:10. — kim seungmin 5k ; 🤍 , 🖇️ , 🍶 , 🍚 , 📨 , comic book au synopsis - you were the casual reader of comic book 'youthful', a modern spin on a period piece. after accidentally falling asleep inside a book shop, you find yourself thrown into the comic as lord seungmin's detestable wife— a character least liked among readers. to return back to your world, you had ten tasks to complete before the story wraps. however, your husband seungmin appears to be there to ruin all of your plans. will you be able escape? or will you be stuck besides seungmin for the rest of eternity. - read here.

˚ 🫧 ⊹ 12:12. — yang jeongin 5k ; 🤍 , 🖇️ , 🍶 , 🍚 , 📨 , comic book au synopsis - you were an established ceo. jeongin was a gentle florist. unbeknownst to the both of you, you were both abruptly thrown into the romantic comic ‘hug me’. you tasked to endure being a lowly maid, while jeongin tasked to pretend to be a brutal prince. however, to leave the comic you needed to for-fill you character’s mission— to assassinate the brutal prince. jeongin too, needed to for-fill his character’s mission— to win the heart of a lowly maid.  who will gain ground and complete their mission first? - read here.

© softsan - all rights reserved. please do not repost on any social media sites, translate, or modify any of my works.

[lovestay-channie]

Written in the Stars ☆ Chapter 6

Pairing: Bang Chan x Fem reader

Genre: SMAU, Stray Kids x Modern Hogwarts, Hufflepuff x Slytherin, (minor/one sided) Enemies to Lovers, Reverse Grumpy Sunshine

Warnings: mentions death, several battles, a few swear words here and there

Synopsis: It is modern time at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. One Hufflepuff who suppresses her emotions while one Slytherin who breaks the stereotype of the Slytherin Prince. Will they connect? Or will they continue to clash?

Word Count: 1.6k

Screenshots: 9

Taglist: OPEN

It’s day one of the Triwizard Tournament.

Hogwarts is filled with students from Durmstrang and Beauxbatons. It almost feels claustrophobic with how many students are in the castle. There wasn’t one person who wasn’t talking about the first task today. That includes your friend group. All during breakfast, they kept smothering poor Chris about the first task. He just kept his bright, charming smile on his face even as strangers kept coming to the table.

It was finally the afternoon and time to head to the Forbidden Forest. You, Marina, and Annaliese linked arms together to keep each other warm. “Why couldn’t they have done this closer to the spring? It’s absolutely freezing out here!” Marina shrieks.

“Mare, you are wearing a skirt. Of course you are freezing!” Hyunjin laughs.

“Fashion doesn’t stop in the fall/winter, Hyun!” she smirks.

“Don’t you know her at all?” you giggle.

It had been a while since you have been to the Forbidden Forest. You used to go to feed the Thestrals after studying for your OWLS. Lee Know would have to drag you out of there because you found comfort in the invisible creatures. One caught your eye as you were walking to the bleachers set up. It made you feel like you were becoming yourself again.

“Bloody hell! Why are there so many TV’s?! Are you saying we could have just gone to the Great Hall to watch the task?!” Changing whines.

Jisung puts his arm around Changbin, “Oh come on! It won’t be that bad!”

“We are here to support Chris. That means we are here live so he can see us at the finish line. Aren’t you best friend after all?” Annaliese jokes, dragging you and Marina up the bleacher’s stairs.

The group finally decided to go to the middle of the bleachers as if they were in the movie theatre watching a new film. You guys almost take up a whole row: Changbin is at one end, Marina sitting next to him, then I.N, Seungmin, Annelise, Hyunjin, Jisung, Lee Know, and lastly you at the other end. Crowds of students were gathering around the bleachers to watch. You scan the forest. You couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. However, you did find Chris with the other two champions. He is laughing at something one of them said. Viktor, who was related to Viktor Krum, was a talk, buff, guy. He is 5-6 inches taller than Chris. Chris looks tiny compared to Viktor. Zora was a beautiful Indian girl. She has long, black hair that was pulled back. You envy Chris; you wish you could connect with people like he does. It used to be one of the reasons you couldn’t stand him, but now it was becoming a reason you admire him.

“Y/n!” you hear a deep voice call out.

You snap your head towards the direction of the voice. It was Felix. “Hey! Over here”

Felix runs up, maneuvers around the herd of people, and sits down next to you. “Finally made it!” he smiles.

“Yeah, where were you?” I.N asks, wrapping his blue and silver scarf around his neck.

“Oh! I just had to take care of a few things. Don’t worry about it!” Felix says.

“Where you snogging that Gryffindor girl from your DADA class?” Jisung asks, raising his eyebrow and smirking.

Felix scoffs and turns his attention to the forest in front of them. You look to see what he was looking at, and it was Headmaster Waterburn with his wand to his neck. “Attention students! Welcome to the 126th Triwizard Tournament!” Students rawer with cheers and applause. “It has been way too long since our last tournament, and we do we have a show for you guys! Our champions have been practicing these past few days for an exciting task! They will be participating in Capture the Flag!”

“Well, that’s boring,” Seungmin mutters. Annaliese smacks his arm, and he over exaggerates his pain, leaning into I.N who shoves him back into Anna.

“Each champion has a flag in the forest they need to find in order to win the task. Viktor, orange; Zora, blue; Christopher, green. Now, this isn’t any ordinary Capture the Flag. We have put a spin on it. Instead of a flag, they will be finding flame. Hence forth this is now Capture the Flame. There are items scattered in the forest to help them. Since they are finding their flame in the Forbidden Forest, there will be creatures along their path. What will those creatures do? We will find out!”

“This’ll be interesting!” Hyunjin shakes his head, inhaling sharply.

Chris stands behind a green line. Professor Ryner was behind him, rubbing his shoulders while probably giving him a pep talk. The other champions had their teachers encouraging them as well.

“We will be watching them in the forest with our handy dandy drones! Who knew Muggles could invent something like magic!” Waterburn smiles.

Lee Know rolls his eyes, “Weirdo.”

“Next he’s going to find out there are cars that drive itself!” you nudge your brother.

“But we have had carriages that have been doing that for years!” I.N says.

All eyes are on their youngest friend. Marina pats his shoulder, “You’re too cute, Innie.”

Waterburn continues his remarks, “At the sound of the canon, our champions will march forth into the forest. Are you ready, champions?”

They all give Headmaster a thumbs up. “Let’s give them a countdown. Shall we?”

“3!”

“2!”

“1!”

The canon fires and the champions bolt into the forest. There were 3 TV’s; one for each champion you could watch. Your eyes bounce from each TV, not knowing which one to watch first. While looking at each of the screens, you could see there were different colored lights to indicate they were on the right path. It had the champions corresponding colors. They soon faded away once they got deeper into the forest.

Zora is the first to find an item: a sneakoscope. A very handy item to let her know if there is any deception around her. After a while, Viktor found an item: a broom. Another great object, but it has limitations. It only could fly for 10 minutes. Chris, however, is having a really hard time finding items. Zora kept finding object after object, but Chris couldn’t find anything.

The first creature was discovered, and Chris is the suspect. He is surrounded by huge spiders. The audience gasps at how huge they were. Lee Know grabs your hand, knowing you don’t like them. Thankfully, Chris thinks quickly and casts them away with an Expelliarmus. Cheers fill the bleachers. Hyunjin and Changbin even stood up to cheer on for Chris.

The next creature that surfaces is a swarm of Billywigs around Viktor. He runs faster, trying to lose them, but their tiny wings are faster than his long legs. You could see him contemplating with the broom in his hand. He finally puts the broom between his legs and flies towards the sky. He thinks that he out flies them, but one latched onto his shirt. It stings him and flies away.

“What did that bug just do?” I.N asks.

“For how much you study, did you pay attention to Care of Magical Creatures?” Hyunjin laughs.

“My potions classes were harder, so I needed to study for that more,” I.N defends.

“A sting isn’t harmful. He’s about to just be super loopy and start floating. Nothing too serious,” you explain.

“Puffy,” Changbin coughs. Marina punches his arm which didn’t hurt at all because of the muscles padding around his arm.

“How come Chris doesn’t have an item yet?” Lee Know questions.

“Right! Super unfair. It’s like they didn’t give him any items at all! He has found more creatures than anything. Who even brings Dementors to Hogwarts?” Jisung complains, resting his head on Lee Know’s shoulder.

“It’s super strange. Zora has double the amount of items even Viktor has,” Felix says.  

“Wait, I think he found one!” Seungmin points to the TV.

All eyes are on Chris’ screen. He was looking inside of a tree’s hole. He pulls out a long piece of clothing. It’s an invisibility cloak! He quickly puts it on and disappears.

“At least it’s something! Hopefully that can help him divert around creatures,” Seungmin says, crossing his arms to keep himself warm.

It has been an hour since the task had started. Everyone is starting to get antsy on when the first person will find their flame. Thankfully, they didn’t have to wait too much longer. A blue flame came into frame as Zora found the torch. She reaches to grab it and raises it in the air. The crowd goes wild!

“We have our first winter! Beauxbaton’s Zora!” Waterburn announces.

Viktor is a close second as found his orange flame in a tree. After a little while, Chris found his green flame guarded by a centaur. The group still cheers for Chris, even if he is last. The champions are apparated back to their starting line, torch still in hand. Waterburn has them stand in the center holding up their flames. Zora has a huge smile painted on her face. Viktor waves to everyone. Chris slightly smiles, but you can see the disappointed look in his eyes.

Suddenly, their flames cover the torch and change into a bunny rabbit.

“This is your next clue for the next task! Good luck!” Waterburn exclaims.

The group runs down the bleachers to meet Chris. He notices everyone walking towards him, but he turns his back and walks away.

“Wait up, Chris!” Changbin says, running to him. Everyone stays back. Changbin reaches Chris and touches his shoulder, but he brushes Changbin’s hand and shakes his head. He then apperates away, leaving everyone in the forest.

© lovestay-channie (2023) - please do not repost. all rights are reserved.

taglist: @minhosimthings @jiisungllvr @charmer-c @blackhairandbangs @foxinnie8 @sunshinessky @lixie-phoria @asherthehimbo @haewonluvr @hinanitiram (if you would like to be tagged, let me know!)

[ballerinainskzville]

Black Swan - Hyunjin one shot

Summary: after a mistake during your solo, you find yourself being comforted by Hyunjin

Word count: 1 k

The whole crowd held their breath.

Watching the black swan dance, intoxicating them.

Until a thud disrupted the trace.

The black swan was on the floor.

Hyunjin reached forward in his seat.

She had fallen.

The black swan had fallen.

He was ready to rush to the stage, to help the black swan back on her feet, waltzing through the remaining performance.

Which isn’t part of her solo, he was aware of that.

He was also aware that he didn’t know the dancer standing on stage. Laying on stage, to be correct. Yet, he never felt closer to someone.

As an idol himself, he knew the pressure of delivering a mesmerizing stage performance and the fear of a mistake ruining the illusion portrayed.

The prince rushed over to her and helped her up, back on her feet, as if it was part of the choreography in which the black swan faked a fall to appear fragile in the eyes of the prince. While the black swan was seducing him. Making the prince fall in love with her.

If it wasn’t the prince, it would be Hyunjin’s heart.

Once her solo ended, the crowd applauded, more than the other dancers had earned the night, in a way to assure her that the little mistake was okay. Forgiven. Overlooked.

Hyunjin’s modern contemporary teacher was part of the choreographing team for the Swan Lake performance. He had gotten the whole group front-row tickets, their manager had cleared their schedule up for them to attend it.

Little guilt-tripped that he was bound to take advantage of his connections, Hyunjin told Bangchan he’d check in backstage to find their teacher and congratulate them. They had each gotten a flower bouquet, to give to either their dance teacher or the rest of the hardworking staff of the performance. Hyunjin was keen on giving the flowers to the black swan that had waltzed into his heart.

Promising the security that he’d like to speak to his dance teacher, the security guard gave him a nod after he checked with the coordinator to let the idol in. Walking amongst the busy shuffling backstage, Hyunjin bowed to everyone respectfully, handing out compliments to each dancer he came across, congratulating them for their performance.

He was sure he had now seen everyone by now, except the black swan.

You.

Losing hope to find you, he opened the door of the emergency exit to leave backstage. That’s when he spotted the curled-up figure sitting on the last steps. Your back was heaving, were you crying? Hyunjin’s curiosity got the best of him, he couldn’t stomach the thought of you crying over a mistake. Slowly he walked down the stairs, flowers in hand. Once he was close to you, he cleared his throat to signal to you that you weren’t alone.

He saw you stiffen, freeze in your spot.

“You did a wonderful job performing. It didn’t look bad at all, more like the mistake was done on purpose”, he told you in a soft voice. You let out a bitter laugh and shook your head. “I had one shot as the understudy, and I blew it. No wonder why I never get the role”, you laughed and swung your head over your shoulder. The laughter died in your throat when you saw who was towering over you.

Hwang Hyunjin.

Main dancer of the most successful boy group.

A legendary performer.

“Can I?”, he asked you as he pointed at the empty spot next to you. All you could do was nod, your brain trying to comprehend his presence. Carefully, he sat down next to you. A bit crumbled so he wouldn’t sit down on your costume and leave behind any damage.

“These are for you”, he interrupted the silence, handing over the flower bouquet to you with the warmest smile that you had ever seen. His warm smile was comforting and you couldn’t help but mirror it. That’s when you realized how you must look with a tear-streaked face, the black makeup smeared on your cheeks. “S-sorry”, you mumbled and began rubbing your cheeks in an attempt to hide the evidence. He watched you silently, with a soft smile. “It’s okay, crying makes us human, doesn’t it?”.

“I reckon it does”, you whispered and looked at the flowers in your hands before you looked back at him. “Thank you. These are beautiful”, you thanked him sincerely, holding them close to you. “It happens to any great dancer. We fall all the time but stand up again. That’s the strength and determination of creating art. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Such a great dancer like you shouldn’t beat herself up about it”, he spoke in such a warm, comforting voice that made you wish you could believe him.

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better… but I appreciate the gesture”, you chuckled lowly, playing around with the Thron of one of the roses. “I wouldn’t lie when it comes to arts. Or to a woman”, he whispered as he watched you. His sincere answer was confirmed by the comfort his eyes were carrying. They seemed to carry the heart of a thousand emotions, tangled and dancing together. You couldn’t break the eye contact, all you wanted was to dive deeper into his ocean.

“What’s your name?”, he then suddenly whispered. Your attention shifted when you noticed that he had shuffled closer, his long, sleek fingers were tracing your knee. The cold metal of his rings cooled down your heated skin, causing friction to grow inside of you.

“Y/N”, you barely whispered as you faced him. “Y/N”, he repeated your name. You never liked hearing your name as much as the way it slipped past Hyunjin’s lips. Like a promising sin. “Would you like to grab a coffee with me someday, Y/N?”, he asked you with another mesmerizing smile. It was almost unfair how good he looked, how contagious his smile was. How comforting his presence was to you. “I’d love to, honestly”

[starlighthan]

HANGING BY A THREAD

characters: minho, changbin, hyunjin, and gender-neutral!reader

genre: slight angst and fluff, (modern?) royalty au

warnings: mentions of blood, knives, murder, and burning a body

word count: 1.6k words

synopsis: you were able to kill the assassin who’s been trying to kill the royal family these past few months. what happens now that that assassin’s gone?

tag list: @plutominho​ @hwangsify​ @cosmic-railwayxo​

note: i wrote this in a hurry :’> i hope this is fine tho and the twist was slightly effective! this was just a random thought and i immediately decided to write this quickly. and i’m not in the right mind right now so this might be... badly written??

© starlighthan - all rights reserved. please do not copy, translate, modify, repost, or claim as yours.

The crowd grows with the appearance of the so-called hero, you. Everyone heard the news of the death of the assassin who tried to kill the royal family.

Nobody knew his name, but they knew what he looked like, and it seemed like they were relieved that they’ll never get the sight of a masked man with a long velvet cloak.

You knew who the assassin was. Months of chasing the killer around the castle grounds with Hyunjin made you familiar with him. You spent your nights following him around before he pulled his knife and got murdered by your comrade.

Thankfully, Hyunjin wasn’t there with you all the time. 

“The suspect who attempted to kill the royal family for the past few months was caught and killed last night inside the castle. On my hand is the familiar black cloak that is now red with the blood from his back when I got to stab him before he opened the prince’s bedroom door,” you raise the fabric, showing the hole where the assassin lost his life.

The prince, Minho, is beside you, smiling. Feeling joyous and eased is an understatement, especially when he was on the brink of death. There he was, glancing at you and Hyunjin, from your other side, with pride. Minho plans to add you and Hyunjin to the higher statuses in the kingdom since you were the only trusted friends of his who stayed for education, as per his invitation.

The chase for this felon indeed frustrated you, hiding in every corner and waiting for the right moment to barge in and end his life for the kingdom’s peace. You sweated under the dimmed lights and a burning candle in your hand. You tried not to make your steps loud around the halls, even with the mysterious view of everything around the castle at night.

The frustration was no longer there when you finally got to grab the man by the neck and slowly sink your knife onto his back before he twisted the door knob of the prince’s room. 

At that point, you realized that killing that assassin was too easy. The masked stranger failed to fight you back after a choke and a stab. At least he’s gone.

Your brave act made the royal family proud. They were also pleased to hear that the criminal was moving around to end the family was finally gone. They even told you that they plan to send your family a letter to extend your stay in the kingdom for impressive and compassionate work, aside from excellent performance in school.

You scan the crowd, everyone no longer displaying the fallen and devastated expressions on their faces. You wonder how this person—someone you hoped would be here—feels at the sight of these fools. These fools fell for a hidden scheme that’s something harsher than this.

Hyunjin pulls you and Minho together through your shoulders and says, “The king and queen are safe in the castle, resting and recovering from the mayhem the unnamed assassin caused.”

“We are proud to say that the assassin is gone,” Minho announces, “the kingdom can live free without danger. We will promise a more secure future for all of us.”

How deceitful you are for this.

Smirking, you eye one person in the group of people in front of you. Someone looks back at you directly—a man with a beige beret cap, maroon coat, and a face of mischievousness. He nods his head out of approval before he leaves as the rest of the citizens' cheer echoes the kingdom.

The three of you nod your heads to the people before you leave the scene. 

Walking back to the palace was very upbeat and loud—the three of you cackling and pushing each other teasingly. The normal dynamics of the trio are back to normal after the dangers of getting the royal family killed challenged the vibrance of the friendship.

“Let’s toast for the delightful aftermath of this case later! Thank the heavens that this is all over. _____ and I tried to find that guy sometimes. It’s a lot of work,” Hyunjin pretends to wipe the nonexistent sweat on his face.

Your friend elbows you on the side, “You were great killing that assassin, though. I didn’t know you were that good at attacking. We didn’t have any training for battles.”

“Hyunjin, you’re saying all of that as if you saw me kill that guy,” you chuckle and scratch your head, “you have no idea how hard it was to find him in the dark!”

That was the only obstacle you encountered last night. How about killing him? Smoother than pulling a thread through a needle. 

Stopping in front of the castle’s gates, you clear your throat and look at your beloved friends.

Pressing your lips, you tell them, “You guys can go in first. I just thought of buying dinner rolls at the market.”

Minho tilts his head in question, “We have bread in the palace. You don’t want the loaves?”

Hyunjin agrees, finding your preference strange, “Aren’t you the loaf bread fan among us? You get to put some butter on it again!”

You laugh softly and nod. “It’s a special day today, hm? I thought of trying something else for today!” you try to clear up their concern, waving your hand. Hopefully, you wouldn’t get caught doing something different than purchasing those dinner rolls.

“Ah!” Minho clasps his hands together and grins. “That’s understandable. I’m guessing we could eat something different today, Hyunjin?” he looks at the other man.

Hyunjin nods. “Yes, as long as I can still put butter on it, I am fine with it,” Hyunjin rubs his abdomen, “I’m hungry. I’d eat anything at this point.”

You and Minho laugh at Hyunjin, pushing him past the now-open gates together. “Ask the maids to hand you grapes!” Minho tugged his best friend’s coat, bringing Hyunjin inside. “_____, please return right away! Our friend might become a hungry monster before you get to bring the dinner rolls!”

“Hurry up, _____!” you hear Hyunjin whine, “The dinner rolls!”

Wheezing at Hyunjin being dramatic, you close the gates after they enter the castle grounds. “Of course, I’ll try to bring them as soon as possible, okay?”

You hear them say yes, and off you go.

Walking away from the main streets of the kingdom, you find a pavement behind a block of houses. Stepping towards it, you walk your way through a different side of the land.

Before you step out off the pavement, you feel a light pull on your shoulder. You brushed it off and started your steps into the forest. You felt like someone was watching you—it was slightly scaring you on your path away from the kingdom.

Even with that plagued feeling with that pull, you continued. That unsettling tension in your head was there until you got pulled strongly this time, hitting your back on one of the house’s walls.

“How is faking my death feel like?” you were greeted after your head accidentally banged against the walls.

Relieved that you found the person you were waiting for, you chuckle. You pull his collar and breathlessly ask, “Feels like victory, isn’t it, Changbin?”

“Right,” Changbin smiles at you and rubs your head. “You were great at killing me—your stab wasn’t that deep. Thankfully, I didn’t lose that much blood to die.”

“And that’s because I ordered the guards to dispose of you quickly.” You pull his hands down and circle your arms around his neck. “I told them to put you in a bag so I could burn you in the forest. You’re lucky. After I got you back, we just grilled some random chicken you bought before you snuck into the castle.”

“They must’ve thought I smelled like meat, then?” both of you giggle at the question. “That was a great dinner though, _____!”

This question might’ve made sense, but it was impossible to smell the smoke since the pavement you passed was curved away from the kingdom. The forest was far away from the land.

“You’re more valuable than that meat, Changbin,” you run your hands through his back, feeling that uneven surface—the cotton and bandages to cover the wound you gave him last night. “Faking your death was a big step to bringing you up there. We can finally overthrow the royal family successfully this time.”

“It’s because you’re here with me, _____,” Changbin mumbled before giving a peck on your lips. “Who knew the prince’s best friend could help the assassin get rid of him and his family?”

A promise of love and power—it sure was a strong deal for you to turn down. Bewitched by the man’s intelligence and affection, you helped him formulate the ideal scheme to dominate the kingdom.

It was comical that you got to mask yourself to the royal family. You were scared of Changbin at first until he got to convince you about his desires for him and you after several encounters in the castle.

Gaining more trust from the royal family meant more power to bring them down. And that was what you and Changbin needed.

“They thought they could live in peace now that I’m dead? They can bring their guard down after that, and that’s a weak point we could use, _____.”

Darkness will not omit.

“You know… I can help directly in taking the royal family down,” you drop your hand to the belt around Changbin’s waist. You pulled a blade from the knife sheath. “I do have constant contact with them, after all.”

Changbin hums in satisfaction and grins, “That’s what I like about you.”

[mondaymelon]

RAHHHHHH HIHIHIIIIII MELONNN <33

"i had a good dream that i thought was going to be very silly but then the ending was sad and i woke up and was like WAIT NO IT CANT END LIKE THAT . so i reworked the plot in my head and tried to go back to sleep to continue and fix the dream but wegh it didnt work... SOBS."

STOP WAIT I DO THAT A LOT TOO LIKE its like oh no i dont like this scene BOOM rewind! noooo the story cant end like that TRY AGAIN! ueueueueue thats so sad why didnt it work ueueue sobes with you also. FICTIONAL CHARS APPEARING IN YOUR DREAMS IS SO REAL HELP i rmb once i watched a fan animatic of xiao playing the kazoo n that night i dreamt that he was playing a saxophone which sounded like a kazoo n i was throwing confetti n paper money at him,, i hope he appears in your dreams soon i think it will be a very interesting dream hehe.

ALSO. AKABANE KARMA??? HELLO?????? when is it my turn smh. ...vox... akuma.... his cooking streams were the death of me omfg AND WHAT. HYUNJIN AND BEOMGYU??? WHAT. 😀 that was a very interesting dream CRYING they THREW CEREAL AT YOU ?? i.. i won't ask any further. mhm.

THE HEADBOPPING WITH LIGHTS OFF IS SO REAL HAHAHKJDHFKS but for me it's more like my brother walking in on me aggressively bopping to music and walks straight out :'D fun times!

japanese is a nightmare i tell you. i am quite effectively illiterate in japanese sobs n falls to the ground HAHAHSKLJFHLDSJK why. why does 怪我 and 怪我 mean different things WHY. (one is 'blame me' and one is 'injury') why is 娘 mother and daughter at the same time. why. 日本語話とても難しです。*weary noises* but duolingo is actually p good for building vocab i think !! YIPPEE!!

ok yes questions. im a kaeya [BEEEEEEP] i meant kaeya main. LOL i cant think of other fictional chars atm so i will just say!! fav genshin chars!! kaeya beidou ayato kazuha fischl furina kirara collei childe && uhm uhm i forgot the rest OMG YEAH 呵呵以后不想让任何人知道我们在谈什么就可以用华语🤭 RAHHHH i recently became absolutely obsessed with modern family i think its really funny && animes! uhhhhhh spyxfam! campfire cooking! senko-san! the genius prince! my next life as a villainess! parallel world pharmacy! and i forgot the rest! HAHAHAHA ooh ooh okok adding on!! what are the top 3 items on your bucket list for 2024?

giggles loudly back at you HAHAHKJSKJF i get loads of bye-lingual moments though,, (forgot the word for tissue in all 4 languages but somehow knew it was spelt taschentuch in german) & yeahh i switch a lot w my brothers esp when we wanna say stuff we don't want people understanding (read: parents) && normally it's mandarin with parents + english sometimes!! yippee!!

NAH CAUSE THeRE WERE. TWO KARMAS. SOBBING. DONT ASK ME WHY BUT HE HAD A CLONE AND THEY WERE BOTH ROMANCING (?) ME?? idk. that dream was a blur and i dont remember it anymore UGHSDJK

the vox. the vox one. i remember. so vividly. i was a vtuber and we were playing minecraft and i did something super cool and funny and the next day there were clips about me and i sobbed wtih joy and then i woke up in my hotel and laid there for a solid half hour questioning if that was real and knowing it wasnt but praying it was. sobs.

wAI WAIA RYUU ARE YOU. ARE YOU A KPOP FAN. STARES AT YOU. SHAKES YOUR SHOULDERS VIOLENTLY if you are. fave groups and biases pretty please. i am in love with skz + txt + enhypen. E E E EE. E E JFSDODJkldlkjlajs biases are hyunjin (big surprise) n miho, txt bias is beomgyu (another crazy, wild, surprise!!) and honestly i cant choose with enhypen but im sorta leaning towards ni-ki rn... e e e e

dont be shy ryuu. whats the redacted. :) aaa for me fave characters... wai have i already said this idc uhm uhm xiao + kaveh + gorou + dori + nahida + venti + furina + fischl + oh so many more. ik some people dislike dori but she just wants the mula and honestly girl same LMAO

ooo spy x family is the silliest!! (have you seen buddy daddies).. for me im watching several things at once rn but its the apothecary diaries, the eminence in the shadow, and migi n dali !! these are all still airing rn so im having a silly time

uhhodkoadsfd tbf i dont really have a bucket list... if we're talking abt small goals ig its just to get good grades cause of my asian parents, to improve my art, and to finally bring my smau out of its stalemate cause i havent touched it in months and i feel bad abt it... sjdflkd

help when i talk with my brother about things we dont want our parents to hear we cant speak in mandarin cause they know it so we just replace the first letter of every word with b except for some few select examples

like. "brek babing bot bis bere" is shrek's bathing spot is here and dont even ask me why i wouldnt be able to tell you LMAO

and "b-b-b-b-b-beer" is like how are you or soemthing along those lines. my brain fries every time we attempt to speak in bod (dont ask why we named it that either i cant tell you too my brain is empty) and WOADOJFOS SAME HERE !!! uhalkdf hmm more questions... do you read any manhwa / manhua and if so which. because i NEED MORE MANHWA READERS IN MY FEED PLE. A S E

[anotherdescentintomadness]

Fan Art by Me

>> SHOP LINK <<

CQL and boys related

Hanguang June Pride Art Series: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6

Lan Zhan and His Bunnies

Hanguang-jun and the Yiling LaoZu

Shy Hanguang-jun

WangXiao as WangXian

Soulmates

WangXiao Loves

BoXiao Bazaar

You Are Not Qualified to Speak to Me

The Sunflower and His Sun

Heart Eyes

Team YiZhan

Tian Tian

YiZhan Bubble Universe

Wang YiBo

in Blue

Sunshine Boy

Nian Nebula

The Dancing Noodle

Moon Child

Platinum Hair Memory

Long live Our Chanel King

Paris Photographer WYB

Yattacked by the Youlders

Our Chanel Prince

Chanel Twins

No. 5

Dripping in Finesse

The Pensive Noodle

King of Hearts

Lemon-Sorbet Man of the Year

The Sheer Blouse

Purity

Tencent Grunge Noodle

The Yeekies

The Boy

Bystander

Heart-Shaped Boy

Weibo Night Aqua YiBo

Hiding

His Gaze

Onlooker

A Secret

Butterfly Boy 🦋

“I’ll never forget the gift Captain Lin gave me.”

Ye Mi

Xiao Zhan

Sunshine Soft-Boy

Anniversary Portrait

Birthday Portrait

The Zhoulders

The Zhoulders 2.0

The Zhoulders 3.0

Horsebit 1953 Gucci

Modern Yiling LaoZu

A King in Bronze (XZ x Boucheron)

Cosmic King

Singapore Shirt Sleeves

Sparkly XZ (Weibo Night)

Milan Xiao Zhan ‘24

Backless Xiao Zhan

SKZ

Han JiSung Portrait

Lee YongBok Portrait

Bang Chan Portrait

Lee Minho Portrait

Yang JeongIn Collage

Hwang HyunJin portrait

OOO

Lee SangHo portrait (Rie)

Jung WookJin portrait (Nine)

WookJin Sketches // 1 // 2 //

Lee YongSoo (Mill)

Kim JunHyung (JunJi)

Shin KyuBin (KB)

Lee TaeYeob (YooJung)

SHINee

Everybody

TaeMin Guilty // Move // Advice // Fuzzy Boy // Keys to My Lock // Best Take My Own Advice // Just Me and You

JinKi New Beginning // Bias-Wrecker

JongHyun Navel Gazer // Contemplation // Blush

BTS

Jung HoSeok (j-hope)

Min YoonGi (Suga)

ATEEZ

Park SeongHwa

EXO

Doh KyungSoo

Jackson Wang

Birthday portrait (L’Officiel)

[galoresficrecs]

[SKZ] Changbin

LAST UPDATED ON: Nov 7th, 2023

newly added ✦ || personal faves ✪ || ongoing ✑

ratings:

not rated || general || teen and up || mature || explicit🔞

❧ NOT HERE SHIPS ☙

3racha

3racha x reader

changbin x chan

❧ NO ship ☙

Oh My God by gidakata [1,5k words] DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT ;; horror, mortuary, dead people, graphic descriptions || explicit🔞

❧ changbin x felix ☙

✪ Champagne Rain by dulcetchan [14,8k words] car racing!au, strangers to lovers || teen and up

✪ Crime de la Crime by dulcetchan [52,8k words] heist!au, be gay do crimes, rivals to lovers || teen and up

✪ Metsänpeitto; never step inside a fairy ring by dulcetchan [9,3k words] fairy tale!au, faerie!felix || general

✪ Mostellaria by dulcetchan [21,5k words] ghosts!au, haunted house, strangers to lovers || teen and up

Oblivious by squirrelsungie [4,8k words] roommates!au, boys in skirts, 4+1 || explicit🔞

✪ [Stories Sung in the Sunken Sailor's Inn part 2] Oceanborn by dulcetchan [20,5k words] pirates!au, supernatural elements, changbin's pov || teen and up

✪ [Stories Sung in the Sunken Sailor's Inn part 1] Oceanbound by dulcetchan [222,8k words | 38 ch] pirates!au, supernatural elements, enemies to lovers || teen and up

Yours truly, Prince Changbin by dulcetchan [20,7k words] royalty!au, arranged marriage, strangers to lovers, epistolary || teen and up

❧ changbin x hyunjin ☙

✪ A Blade Of Grass by gidakata [4,4k words] AW: MCD, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT ;; horror, recreational drug use, graphic depiction of corpses || explicit🔞

adventure for two by bitsori [2,3k words] road trip!au, implied smut || teen and up

✪ I Told Ya I Was Trouble by gidakata [1k words] AW: MCD, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT ;; horror, circus!au, implied unhealthy relationship, cannibalism || explicit🔞

✪ like sand under fingernails by glissandos [17,1k words] actors!au, enemies to lovers || teen and up

✪ [Number 16 Universe part 4] Love Looks Not With The Eyes, But With The Mind by YourFutureWillBeBeautiful [2,4k words] modern setting, parenthood, established relationship, domestic fluff || teen and up

✪ M.I.A. by Str4y [34,8k words | 10 ch] READ WARNINGS AND TAGS ;; plane crash!au, baseball team, heavy angst, character death, graphic blood & gore, bad ending || explicit🔞

✪ make me your muse by iyouleeknow & SullenPast [10,6k words] college!au, rivals with benefits to lovers, secret relationship || explicit🔞

punch-drunk (hurricane) by flying_dream [14,1k words] college!au, strangers to lovers, fwb, open ending || mature

✪ [Number 16 Universe part 3] The Folly Of Ambitions by YourFutureWillBeBeautiful [89,7k words | 20 ch] modern setting, parenthood, strangers to lovers, angst with a happy ending || teen and up

✪ through my fingers by linootys [1,8k words] AW: MCD ;; post-apocalypse!au, zombie apocalypse!au || mature

✦ [Fate or Something Worse part 3] Within the Den by Mntnsflrs [35,5k words | 7 ch] crimes & criminals, gun violence, road trip, strangers to lovers || explicit🔞

✪ You broke a rule because of me by Raiken [7,7k words] college!au, coming of age || explicit🔞

❧ changbin x minho ☙

If by Str4y [10,9k words] road trip!au, friends to lovers, past character death, hurt/comfort || explicit🔞

❧ changbin x reader ☙

Good Luck Charm by dreamescapeswriting [18k words] f!reader, f1 driver!au, strangers to lovers || explicit🔞

hypothesis by fizzydrink698 [9,1k words] f!reader, college!au, friends with benefits to lovers || explicit🔞

✪ Make Me Stay by dreamescapeswriting [20,5k words] f!reader, mechanic!au, slow burn || explicit🔞

✪ respite by fizzydrink698 [5,2k words] f!reader, gangsters!au, crimes & criminals, maknae on top!au || mature

The Sowaway by dreamescapeswriting [7,6k words] f!reader, pirate!au || explicit🔞

[part of Fuck Those Frat Boys] The Secretary by destiny-fics [5,2k words] f!reader, college!au, fraternity!au, secret relationship || explicit🔞

✦ threesome ; minho/reader/changbin by skzdarlings [6,1k words] changbin x minho x reader || pwp, crimes & cirminals, friends to lovers || explicit🔞

[cbseung]

cobblestones: modern prince hyunjin - final part

[masterlist]

[pt 1] [pt 2] [pt 3] [pt 4] [pt 5] [pt 6] [pt 7] [pt 8] [pt 9] [pt 10] [final]

wow! final part! i can’t believe it! thanks for joining me on this wild ride, and i hope that you continue to read whatever i write next! 

(ps. the next imagine series planned is a bang chan imagine based on the movie hotarubi no mori e!! that’s gonna be a ROLLERCOASTER ride i guarantee that)

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

wc: 2,000 

description: the finale, the conclusion, the end. what’s prince hyunjin going to do now?

hyunjin watches as your figure retreats farther and farther

he wanted nothing more than to chase after you and explain to you what was actually going on 

but how could he??

his mom explicitly told him

“hyunjin,, if you don’t follow through with this marriage we’ll have to disown you. then what would you do?”

like w0w! harsh mom 

hyunjin really really likes you

this isn’t new information

but he’s not ready to give up everything he’s ever known for you

so he really has no other choice than to marry mirai right?

right?

so what if he has to marry someone he doesn’t love?

his parents have been controlling every single thing he does

all the more reason you shouldn’t follow through with this marriage!!!! hyunjin thinks

but-

“hey! your parents want us to announce the engagement” mirai says as she breaks hyunjin’s train of thought

“right now?”

“right now.”

“can’t they like.. wait a sec?”

“nope! you know how they are”

hyunjin looks exhausted

he HEAVILY sighs and tries racking his brain for ANY excuse he can think of

cause he’s just not ready

and he’s just not sure if he can announce his engagement RIGHT NOW

and it’s not like he can just CANCEL the engagement

cause the last thing he needs is the press to EAT that up

you know and ruin the reputation of the royal family

so if he cancels the engagement now when no one knows about it

then all the better

hyunjin just

needs more time to decide that he’s making the right choice

but his time is literally running out

“hey..” he hears mirai say, “you’re not sure about getting married to me huh”

“ah.. am i that obvious?”

“you look panicked and deep in thought, wanna tell me what’s up?”

“do we have the time?” hyunjin laughs

“eh what are they gonna do? announce our engagement without us?”

“you never know what those crazy royals do”

mirai walks over to hyunjin and sits down next to him

“it’s just..” hyunjin sighs, “i’m not sure about this engagement..”

“is it because of that girl? y/n?”

“i mean, it’s true, i do really really like y/n, and i wish we gave us a shot before this whole thing happened. and i can’t call off the engagement without being disowned by my parents BUT I’M JUST so sick of being controlled by them!”

“hyunjin.. i can’t make this decision for you, but i think you know what you have to do”

truth is

hyunjin has always known what he wanted to do

he just needed a friend to talk to

him and mirai talk for a little longer

and then hyunjin smiles

“ready?” hyunjin asks mirai

“ready!” mirai exclaims

and they both walk out together

»»————-　♔　————-««

meanwhile

after you left hyunjin in the garden

you go back into the ballroom

and find yeji and felix

“hey.. y/n” felix says

“hey felix, yeji..”

the fact that you’re visibly exhausted raises a couple flags for the both of them

with preparations for the ball and trying to figure out your feelings and getting the most out of your vacation in europe

it’s 

a lot

“are.. are you okay?” felix asks

“well,, to be honest, no. but! it’s okay, we’re leaving tomorrow night so i’ll be okay”

very vague but they both believe you

“yeji,,, can we,, rent a room tonight? i don’t really feel like staying at the palace anymore...”

“of course we can, we can leave right now since it’s over anyway and it’ll take a long time for us to get ready”

then you turn to felix and say

“felix!! come with us and sleepover!!! i don’t want to leave you just yet” you pout

you’re lucky you’re cute and felix loves you

“of course y/n!”

so the three of you sneak out of the ball 

and plan to spend the night trying to forget about a certain handsome but engaged prince (◕︿◕✿)(◕︿◕✿)

»»————-　♔　————-««

“hello! my name is mirai, but you may know me better as the princess of japan! i would first like to thank the King and Queen of England and Korea for throwing such a wonderful ball! i know most of you were expecting an engagement announcement, but as you can see, prince hyunjin is not here with me. however, we both came to the conclusion that it is in our best interests that we do not follow through with this engagement. thank you, and there will be no further comment on the situation.”

»»————-　♔　————-««

do you know how long it takes to run around the Buckingham Palace?

i don’t

but hyunjin does

after he’s been running in CIRCLES trying to find you

he needs to tell you something 

and it’s prettttty important

and you should probably know before you leave for home and never see him again 

you know?

ah but too bad you’re miles from the palace huh

at this point hyunjin gives up cause he covered every inch of the palace

(which is a feat within itself because that place is: huge)

so hopefully he finds you tomorrow before you leave for your flight

or else ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

»»————-　♔　————-««

four hours before you have to hop on a plane and kiss europe goodbye

so of course

where would you be?

drinking coffee on cobblestone streets of course

you more or less

look back at the trip you took

to be fair,

you don’t regret taking the trip

you don’t regret meeting hyunjin

you don’t regret falling for him

if anything

you regret not telling him sooner

but what’s done is done

you get up with your empty coffee in your hand, your phone in the other because you were supposed to text yeji when you were ready to head to the airport

when all of a sudden

you walk smack dab into someone

you MENTALLY CALL YOURSELF OUT

because really y/n??? AGAIN??

“oh my god you’ve GOT to be kidding me”

“hey uh you should watch were you’re going”

wait

waaaait a sec 

you’d know that voice anywhere

literally

anywhere

you look up and 

lo and behold

a handsome boy who goes by the name of prince hyunjin

and wow he still looks as pretty as you remember (╯︵╰,) even IF you saw him just the day prior

“uh hello? anyone home? look i know americans are dumb but i didn’t know they were this dumb” hyunjin says smiling

AH THAT INFAMOUS LINE

you glare at him

but then crack a smile

“hi..”

“y/n! thank god! i’ve been looking everywhere for you!!”

are you flattered?

you’re kinda flattered

a little confused

“wait hyunjin! how did the engagement announcement go?”

part of you is hoping he says it went horrible and no one’s gonna follow through with it

“oh you didn’t see? it’s not happening, i talked to mirai right before we were supposed to announce it”

oh

oh

OH

“wait what? haha funny joke!!”

listen this is your way of coping with it because there’s no way hyunjin cancelled his engagement right

right

“nope not a joke but listen i owe you an explanation”

yOU JUST

DECIDED YOU WERE GONNA MOVE ON FROM HYUNJIN

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

you both sit at the cafe you were just at

and he starts with an

“i’m sorry”

which is 

something you didn’t know you needed? but nonetheless

he laughs

(it’s a great sound if i do say myself)

“where do i even begin? i’m sorry for not taking you out on that date i promised, i’m sorry for not being in contact with you that week, i’m sorry if i made you feel like you were annoying or clingy or anything bad because you’re not. i’m not gonna make excuses for myself because you’ve never been nice to me,, actually well, the first time we met you weren’t the nicest to me”

“hey you called me dumb the first time we met!”

“... anyways,, i-”

“wait, sorry, why’d you end the engagement in the first place”

“truth is, my parents were threatening to disown me if i didn’t follow through with it”

now you’re in full panic mode

because

he really did just drop everything

“wait WHAT”

“yeah,, but i decided i was sick and tired of them controlling everything i did so i kinda just.. left?”

“HYUNJIN YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE”

“well why not”

“i mean, does felix know? do you even have a place to stay? oh my god where are you gonna live how are gonna eat you can’t just-”

“hey, hey, relax it’s okay, i got it covered, i have connections too you know, the many perks of being a prince, er- well, ex prince now that my parents will probably disown me” 

“but hyunjin-”

“hey it’s okay, i may not know what i’m doing but at least i’m free to make my own decisions, like taking you on that date i promised you” hyunjin says smiling

okay fine

you decide to drop it for now

and give hyunjin the benefit of the doubt

and besides he has yeji and felix and now you 

so he’s not completely alone

hyunjin intertwines his hands in yours and starts leading you to god knows where when you remember

you kinda leave europe in like three hours

“WAIT” you say 

“WHAT now”

you roll your eyes at him and say, “i need to meet yeji! we’re going home in three hours!”

“oh, OH, wow thank god i found you before you left huh”

“yeah that would’ve been,, pretty bad, so what now?”

“what now?”

“i mean, i have to go home, you have to deal with your parents and the whole british/korean media..”

“ah you’re right,,,,but still, let’s do it

“huh?”

“i’ve been thinking, i think i’m gonna pursue dancing.. i’ve got a little pocket money maybe i’ll go to school, or audition for a company, who knows? the ends are limitless, but all i know is that i want to give us a shot ”

you’re not fond of the whole long distance thing

but you’re not fond of not exploring whatever is going on with you and hyunjin

and i don’t think your feelings are going away anytime soon

so you might as well give it a try

“okay.”

“okay?”

“yeah let’s do it! who knows what’ll happen, but all i know is that i wanna explore whatever is happening here”

hyunjin pulls you in for a hug and mutters

“you won’t regret this, princess”

cue the blush

you and hyunjin walk together until you meet up with yeji and felix

yeji sees your hands intertwined and gives you the ‘bro what the heck’ look and you give the ‘i’ll explain everything on the plane ride home’ look

“jin, i have to go, they’re waiting for me” you pout

“ah right,, let’s exchange numbers”

“we don’t have each other’s numbers? and we’ve known each other for a month now? we’re so lame”

we’ll be lame together”

“oh god ssh”

“you better get used to this!!” hyunjin teases

“ah whatever,, bye hyunjin, i’ll see you soon okay?”

“don’t miss me too much, y/n!”

“ah too late!”

five years later

“yeji!!”

“Y/N WHAT IT’S THREE AM WHY’D YOU CALL”

“HE’S COMING TODAY”

“NO WAY TODAY TODAY? IT’S NOT LIKE YOU’VE BEEN CALLING FOR THE PAST WEEK WITH A COUNTDOWN TO HOW MANY DAYS UNTIL HYUNJIN FINALLY MOVES IN WITH YOU”

“SHHHHHH LET ME BE EXCITED”

“YOU CAN BE EXCITED 7 HOURS FROM NOW”

after five years

you and hyunjin are finally moving in together

five years of texting ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ to each other

five years of flights to and from seoul where hyunjin’s dance university was

five years of facetime calls

and they were all finally coming to an end

hyunjin’s parents understood where he was coming from and decided to support him and his dance career

and he still got to keep his prince title

(lucky him am i right)

but most importantly

according to hyunjin

the most important thing to him 

wasn’t his title

wasn’t even his dancing

nope! the most important thing to prince hwang hyunjin

was you

the end. 

»»————-　♔　————-««

a/n: wow wow wow i’m done FINALLY DONE!! 

i hope you enjoyed the series!! to be honest, i wanted the story to go a TOTALLY DIFFERENT direction but i’m kinda happy how this turned out

this is the first time i did something this big of a series, so i’m sorry if it wasn’t the greatest! i’m always up to hear some constructive criticism! 

thank you for being so patient with me and this series, and please look forward to more stuff i write! 

good night!

[vllixxi]

crowning season ☆ skz x gn! reader

word count﹕3.2k

prompt ﹕hunger games but for modern royalty

[skz x gn!reader] [mostly jisung, chan, & minho] [ft. ateez & billlie]

Every 50 years, the Nine Kingdoms of Epaidia must send their children to prove their worth in a blood sport in order to decide which kingdom will act as the leading jurisdiction of Epaidia. After their brother becomes terminally ill, (Y/N) is forced to represent the 9th Kingdom without him.

warnings ﹕profanity, mentions of death, mentions of abuse, mentions of alcoholism, eventual character death, eventual violence.

notes ﹕

hey, its been a while! sorry for being gone for so long, I had some pretty crazy creative block and I was busy w a lot of stuff irl. writing this chapter was a struggle for months and I restarted several times. but it's finally summer and i have more time to sit down and actually think about what I'm writing! some stuff popped up a couple weeks ago and i lost most of my notes for this series, so I've changed a lot in the plot. it won't really affect anything for you guys as readers, just what I'm planning on writing. hope you enjoy :) !

chapters.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

"And who exactly is this?"

The question leaves you both taken aback and nervous, your inner turmoil evident on your face. Judging by the way everyone turns to look at the newcomer, You're not the only one in shock. You give him a once-over, confirming he is indeed the prince of the Third Kingdom, Hwang Hyunjin.

His passive-aggressiveness is quite the stunt and it leaves a sour taste in your mouth. He knows exactly who you are, he's just letting you know that he's somehow offended that you're standing there with him and his group. If Seonghwa was with you, he'd be holding you back, knowing that your loose tongue gets the best of you in situations like such.

"Quite disrespectful to address royalty like that, is it not?" it's hard to tell if the question is rhetorical or not as it flies out of your mouth, a irritated but stern expression forms on your face, Hyunjin quirks an antagonizing brow at you. "Oh, hardly."

you feel a hand on your shoulder as someone practically gasps in your ear, you turn to look at the person. Kim Siyoon of the 8th Kingdom. The sole heir to her throne, but she certainly didn't come alone. From the very beginning of the ball, you noticed how the princess of the 7th Kingdom, Sheon, stuck to her side like glue. Even now, the princess stands slightly behind Siyoon as she watches the situation unfold.

"Hyunjin! just because you haven't known them your entire life, doesn't mean you get to address them like that. We're all royalty here." Minho reaches out from across the circle of royals, swatting Siyoon away from you. "Let them fight their own battles," he says lowly, although everyone can see and hear, Siyoon then lightly slaps his arm in response. "Let them fight their own battles? It's just common decency Minho. I'm not gonna stand here and let hyunjin shove people around just because he's never met them before!"

The once civil conversation soon turns into quiet, yappy bickering and the topic completely changes from Hyunjin's attitude to something about how Hyunjin made out with Siyoon's cousin when they were younger. then things get a lot more personal. Like when Wooyoung teepeed the first kingdom's gardens. The group starts to dig deeper into their history, and you can't help but feel out of place.

Your entire life you trained, you were sore and you ached every day, you had no social life outside of the staff you spent nearly every second with, and yet, these people had all that time to socialize. They made alliances way before they even knew what crowning season was. They were 100% prepared for what was ahead, and you were only about 75% ready.

The argument soon turns back into a lighthearted conversation, and you can't stop yourself as you slowly back away from the group and slip out of the ballroom, noticing the way a few of the partygoers glance at you.

You made 2 alliances in one night, then put a target on your back when you bickered with hyunjin, the prince from one of the richest kingdoms in Epaidia. You're not sure how to feel about your progress as you slump onto a velvety bench in the grand hallway just outside the ballroom. You look up, and a large painting across the hall from you catches your eye. There sat the family of the first kingdom, looking like greek gods in their majestic attire.

The family looks young in the painting, the king and queen's wrinkles haven't quite formed yet, and their hair misses those old, gray sprigs. Chan looks like he's about 14, and you can't help but smile at his round, youthful face. San doesn't look much younger, maybe 11 or 12. He's looking up at his mom with a big smile on his face, holding her hand sweetly. Then a melancholy thought hits you.

Did he know then?

Did he know that he'd be at his friends' throats, competing for the high crown one day?

"I hate that painting." The sudden declaration out of nowhere makes you jump, and you turn to find the owner of that oh-so-familiar voice. And of course, it had to be him.

Chan's eyes flit over to you, that same stoic expression making you feel tense and out of place. "What, did I scare you?" The question has a playful lilt and an obvious hint of sarcasm. It's almost as if Chan knows that your heart is still beating rapidly from his random appearance, and you can't help but roll your eyes at him. "No. Not at all." You respond, matching his sarcastic and monotone energy, which only leads him on. He elegantly glides onto the seat beside you, turning his attention back to the painting in front of you.

"Why do you hate it?" You practically whisper as you stare at the fine details of the magnificent work of art before you. Chan hums lowly, staring at the painting in deep thought before he responds. "That's not what we looked like that day. Well- not all of us. The old man was so drunk he couldn't keep his eyes open. His fists were red and bruised. Mommy dearest wasn't looking at me. she was too busy pampering San to notice my black eye." Just as you're about to whip your head to look at the prince beside you, you're rudely interrupted by the one and only.

"Busted!" An annoying, shrill voice screeches from the doorway to the ballroom. A dainty finger is pointed directly at your face and you look up to meet the proud expression of Wooyoung. Then Chan slips away before you can say anything, and you catch yourself as you try to reach out to him.

"Why are you always canoodling with boys, huh?" Wooyoung grabs your attention once more as he takes Chan's place, playfully jabbing at you as you try to come up with a coherent response. You know he's just messing around, but you can't help the way your eyebrows furrow. Chan is already gone when you start to frantically look around once you've regained your senses, and it feels like there's a giant pit in your stomach. "I-I'm not. I'm just trying to make up for lost time." You finally blurt out as you give up and slump into the bench you're on. "What do you mean?" Wooyoung asks, and for the first time, you feel like he's just genuinely asking you something out of curiosity.

"I mean, most of these royals have known each other since they were little kids, and I know absolutely no one."

Wooyoung scoffs, wrapping a friendly arm around you as he shakes his head lightly. "I don't know how to tell you this but- Epaidia's royalty has some cliques."

"That group that you were somehow beckoned into you are like... the plastics of the nine kingdoms. You don't wanna form alliances with them or put any trust in them. Because year after year, those kingdoms have stabbed each other in the back."

"I'm sorry that I pried into your business earlier. I really want us to have each other's backs in this thing. I love my siblings- I truly do. but I think I'd be the first person they'd betray in the crowning. I'm scared Y/N. I'm really scared." Wooyoung's words of advice are a rollercoaster of emotions, and you can't help but sympathize with him. As you open your mouth to reply, he interrupts you one last time. "And trust me. You are not the only estranged royal at this ball."

You don't read too much into that last statement as you nod, giving him a soft smile as he unravels himself from you. "I don't want this to be an alliance-" You watch his face fall. "I want to be friends." You smile as he lights up, watching as he holds himself back from hugging you. "You can hu-" Before you can finish, he's squeezing the life out of you.

Maybe you don't need Seonghwa after all.

★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆

After your heart-to-heart, you wander back into the ballroom with Wooyoung, realizing that the party carried on without you and your newfound companion. You can hear the sound of sultry classical music playing, your mind on autopilot as you make your way to the front of the crowd. In the center of the room, people have begun to dance to the age-old music that echoes through the ballroom.

Wooyoung finally makes it to you, gently pushing your shoulder as he nods towards the dancefloor. "Don't you think you should, y'know? Make yourself stick out more? I don't see a single prince or princess out there." You tilt your head at him playfully, crossing your arms as you begin to think. "Is that an invitation to dance?"

"Certainly not!" He blurts out quickly in response to your question, watching as you raise a brow at him. 'It's not you, it's me. I can't dance, at all." You can't help but laugh at him, making the prince pout a bit. Just as Wooyoung begins to whine about his lack of dancing skills, you spot Felix trying to drag Changbin onto the dancefloor.

Now you're determined to do it first, scanning the people in the ballroom as you try to find a decent partner for a few minutes. You spot Minho a few feet away from you and your feet are moving before you can have a second thought about it. He's facing toward his brother Yeosang, away from you. You tap his shoulder lightly. "Y/N!—" His blank expression immediately lights up as he realizes it's you, a chesire grin forming on his face.

"Hey Minho, w-"

"Do you want to dance?" He interrupts you before you can finish, and you can't help but smile. "That's funny. I was gonna ask you the same question." He mirrors your warm smile as you somewhat awkwardly wander toward the center of the room. Instantly, his hands find purchase on your hip and shoulder as he takes the lead, spinning you around the room effortlessly.

You're thankful he's taking the lead, knowing that your waltzing skills are sub-par at best. You look down, noticing how his feet seem to glide across the floor. You look up to meet Minho's gaze, tilting your head a bit. "Does the royal family of the 6th kingdom spend that much time on learning ballroom dances?" The subtle compliment has minho looking away bashfully, still wearing his charming smile. "Only the basics. It's a hobby of mine, though."

There's something endearing about one of the richest men in the nine kingdoms taking dance up as a hobby. "You like dancing?" you already know the answer, you want the conversation to last a bit longer though. Minho simply nods silently, pulling away to bow as the song ends.

After you return the gesture, you glance around the room to notice how almost everyone has their eyes on you. You look over at Wooyoung, who holds up both his thumbs with a cheesy grin. That's when you finally notice your parents, chatting it up with the other kings and queens of Epaidia.

Based on the forced smiles and fake laughter, you can tell your parents are struggling just as much as you. That has you smiling fondly before you turn back to Minho. "So..." you trail off, staring at Minho's hands as he nervously fidgets, not failing to notice all the cameras and eyes pointed at you. "I know that we get more sponsors if we stand here and look pretty together- But do we really have to?" you playfully ask and Minho lightens up a bit. "So you think I'm pretty?" He perks a brow, not missing the way you begin to internally regret your choice of words, standing there with a blank expression.

You decide to ignore his question instead of replying sarcastically, turning around and simply walking away from him. You can hear him, chuckling quietly as he follows you back into the crowd, towards a corner of the ballroom.

Most of the attention is diverted away from you and the prince as Changbin and Felix start dancing, some of the other royals following suit.

After a couple minutes, you realize how easy conversation is with Minho. unlike Wooyoung, there are fewer sarcastic remarks and more intelligent and articulate responses. You find yourself at ease, feeling more open to being yourself with him.

"What's Hyunjin's deal?" You ask Minho quietly, trying not to catch the attention of anyone around you. He looks down at the wine glass in his hand, swirling the grape juice around before replying; "He's very protective of his friendships. it's not that he doesn't like you, he's wary of you. he doesn't trust you- yet."

That last word still has you holding on, finding that there's still hope to make amends with the third kingdom's Prince Not-so-Charming.

"His sister on the other hand-" Minho nods toward the other side of the room, where Hyunjin stands with his sister, Sua. You didn't get a good look at her until Minho pointed her out. She wore a stern expression as she eyed Prince Chan like a hawk, not letting her fox eyes leave him once. "—She said that your silver tongue is only gonna get you so far." Minho laughs into his glass as he takes a sip of his drink, grinning at you as you examine the princess across the room.

"Please do try to hide your resentment for a moment, Y/N," Minho remarks sarcastically, earning himself a flinty glance from you. "That was not a stare of resentment. I'm reading her." Minho lets out a boisterous laugh, one befitting of a prince. Then his expression falls immediately after. "Trust me, I've tried. That woman is like a book of steel."

"Must run in the family." You utter, unable to hold back the smile that grows on your face as Minho laughs once more.

Then a realization dawns on you, very suddenly, and it feels as if the weight of the whole room is crashing down on you.

"Maybe they're not so wrong." Your sudden change of heart nearly has Minho dropping his glass, as he whips his whole body to the side to face you, unable to control his perplexed expression. You simply eye him, not giving much of a reaction to his stunted display.

"I'm not meaning to damper the mood, but the only way one of us wins is if the rest of us die. Which means we either have to kill each other, kill ourselves, or abandon one another. Why make friends when it's just easier to make enemies?" You're even amazed at your coherent rambling as you watch Minho pick his jaw up off the ground.

"That's a good point." Minho dejects, pressing his lips together firmly as he realizes his glass is empty. You watch the gears turn in his head before he comes up with an effective response. "Or, you can look at it this way. If everyone is gonna die but one of us, why not at least increase your odds of making it by teaming up? Even if you lose, your ally is succeeding."

"If I had a glass, I'd be raising it." You reply, mood slightly heightened by the prince's optimistic outlook on things. There's a moment of awkward silence that follows, where you either look at Minho or the crowd of dancing nobles in front of you. Thankfully, he breaks it after a few minutes, with an unnecessary painful question.

"What's wrong with Seonghwa?"

You gulp then proceed to stare at the jade pendant dangling around your neck. Minho realizes that he's struck a painful cord, knowing there's not much he can do to take it back. "We don't know yet. They're still running tests and if i'm being honest... It's weird." Minho doesn't reply, deciding it best to leave the conversation at that.

"It was nice getting to know you better Minho."

"You too, Y/N."

He turns to look at you, a melancholy smile gracing his cat-like features. In the moment, you recall that the ball only lasts for a few hours before everyone goes home. Your time was getting slimmer and slimmer, yet it felt like you had only been there for a few minutes.

You still had to regroup and find Yunho, but it felt like you were missing something.

Chan!

You had to figure out what he meant earlier.

The look on your face is a dead giveaway to your realization and Minho raises his eyebrows at that. "Did you leave the oven on?" He jokes, but frowns when your body language becomes more frantic, your eyes dart around as you search for the prince in question, knowing you won't see him again until The Crowning. Unintentionally, you ignore Minho as you slip into the crowd hastily, leaving your shocked ally behind.

You spot Felix stepping off the dancefloor and back over to his group of friends, assuming he's your best bet. "Felix!" You call from a few feet away and he meets you halfway. "Y/N! I was wondering where you slipped off to, then I saw you dancing with Minho— Which was utterly adorable by the way and did-" You cut him off with a single finger, watching him poke his bottom lip out a bit.

"I'm not trying to be rude, but I really need to know where Chan is." Felix laughs at your interruption, pure joy enveloping his face. "You're too cute. I knew you guys had a thing." "What?" You furrow your brows together, not missing the way Felix rolls his eyes playfully at your reaction. "Nothing, nothing." He waves his hand before grabbing you by the shoulders, turning you around to face the grand stairs that led to the high royal family's thrones.

"There he is." Felix remarks and your face falls. you spot Chan, sitting in his throne with a blank expression. The music slowly dies down as the King stands up, The crowd falling silent in anticipation of his grand speech. "I thank you all for coming to the age-old Crowning Ball and celebrating this magnificent sport. I wish you all luck in The Crowning, and a smooth victory from my sons. Please exit in a orderly, well-designed fashion."

You turn to face Felix, turmoil evident on your face. He can't help but giggle and pat your shoulders gently. "No worries Y/N, you'll have your chance before he kills you." His unfiltered observation is probably true, and you can't come up with a response before he skips off to find his sister, Tsuki.

Everyone surrounding you wanders off toward the large doors, leaving you standing in the middle of the ballroom. Alone.

In a week's time, you'd be back in the first kingdom, preparing to leave everything behind to compete in a brutal blood sport. Nothing could've prepared you for the emotions you felt at that moment, standing all alone in an almost empty ballroom.

You're snapped out of your emotional trance when a hand gently falls on your shoulder. You look up, meeting the gaze of the one-and-only Yunho. he smiles, and you fall into his arms, hugging him loosely as you hold back everything you want to say or do. Your voice is muffled by his suit, but you utter just a small; "It's not fair." Before your trusted bodyguard and confidant, leads you out of the 1st Kingdom's palace.

[rei-the-head-shaker]

Midyear Spotify Stats

(according to statsforspotify)

Top 50 tracks:

"Red Lights" by Bang Chan and Hyunjin

"Advice" by TAEMIN

"Heaven" by Julia Michael

"I'll Understand" by Roza

"Our Song" by Nannon Korapat

"The Bidding" by Tally Hall

"MANIAC" by Stray Kids

"God's Menu" by Stray Kids

"WONDERLAND" by ATEEZ

"Happy Death Day" by Xdinary Heroes

"시작" by Gaho

"VOODOO DOLL" by VIXX

"Thunderous" by Stray Kids

"Back Door" by Stray Kids

"Just Friends?" by Nannon Korapat

"Monsters" by Ruelle

"VENOM" by Stray Kids

"TNT (Truth&Trust)" by TRENDZ

"RED" by Survive Said The Prophet

"Nature Boy" by Nat King Cole

"Hermit the Frog" by MARINA

"DU DU DU (English Ver)" by TAN

"LIAR LIAR (Korean Version)" by OH MY GIRL

"Next To Me" by Imagine Dragons

"The Night We Met" by Lord Huron

"Reflection" by BTS

"INVU" by TAEYEON

"Silver Spoon" by BTS

"Renegades" by X Ambassadors

"Nobody Knows" by Autograf, WYNNE

"Stay With Me" by CHANYEOL, Punch

"Next Level" by aespa

"A Gloomy Clock" by IU, JONGHYUN

"Baby, Don't Cry" by EXO

"Back Door" by Stray Kids

"CLAP" by SEVENTEEN

"Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper

"괴도 (Danger)" by TAEMIN

"MONEY" by LISA

"Le parole lontane" by Maneskin

"First Love" by BTS

"LOVESICK" by ROMEO

"Darkside" by grandson

"Drive" by Halsey

"Adolescenza nera" by Colapesce, Dimartino

"Walking from the dream" by Charlie Ryan

"ハイキュー!!" by Yuki Hayashi, Asami Tachibana

"OMG" bu SUSHIBOYS

"Wind" by 明星 <Akeboshi>

"Colors - Stripped" by Halsey

Top artists:

Stray Kids

BTS

ATEEZ

EXO

TAEMIN

Block B

ITZY

BANG YONGGUK

Halsey

VIXX

24K

JONGHYUN

Seo Taiji and Boys

A.C.E.

MAP6

TAEYEON

Smyang Piano

Maneskin

Rkomi

Imagine Dragons

SEVENTEEN

Kep1er

Rustage

TREASURE

Monsta X

TRENDZ

NCT 127

Lu Han

NCT U

Panic! At The Disco

Sia

GOT7

JO1

Ed Sheeran

Apink

Yuki Hayashi

Ghemon

Jackson Wang

Hozier

Taylor Swift

Queen

TEMPEST

Colapesce

TAN

Sufjan Stevens

grandson

Andrea Farri

Rainbow Prince Series

Billie Eilish

CHEN

Top 5 Genres:

K-Pop

K-Pop Boy Group

Pop

Modern Rock

Rock

[hongssami]

wingkkun tries to write coherently

: short ramblings that may or may not make sense ; too short or too unorganized to be called a blurb

: old drabbles !!

: ☆ = personal faves

» STRAY KIDS

ot8 :: besties melting under the summer heat ☆ skz as filipino street foods for some reason

bang chan :: minchanbin in embarrassing situations ☆ quality time sad minchanbin more sad chan "will you be there?" *cough* shirtless chan *cough* ☆

lee minho :: college glasses lino minchanbin in embarrassing situations sad minchanbin more sad lino shapeshiter cat lino ☆ convenience store lino ☆ falling for u ??? ☆ shhhhh

seo changbin :: lovestruck binnie minchanbin in embarrassing situations ☆ sad minchanbin more sad binnie "shall we get drunk on the late afternoon air?"

hwang hyunjin :: sweet summer child mayhaps a merman jinnie ☆ shhhhh ☆

han jisung :: ??? (2) ☆

lee felix :: sleepy study buddy lix fluffy roommie lix ☆ shhhhh ☆

kim seungmin :: bread seungmin on the mind seungmin hot ☆ seungmin on the mind (2) shhhhh ☆

yang jeongin :: "i felt so alone"

» THE BOYZ

bae jacob modern prince cobie

choi chanhee blades master chanhee

[staywritten]

Let’s Dance│Hwang Hyunjin (M)

Synopsis: You and Hyunjin have a couples stage to prepare, and the sensual choreo pushes both of you out of your comfort zone, and forces you to address the very obvious tension.

Genre: Smut, Idol!Au, Idol!Reader, one shot

Word count: 5458

Author notes: The choreo is based off of Hoya and Choi Hyo Jin’s couple stage on Hit the stage. It’s such a stunning dance and one of my faves of the season.

Hell. That was the only way to describe the last week and a half. You were given an amazing opportunity to not only host an award ceremony but to also do a duet dance stage with Hyunjin. It required a lot of work, lots of late night practices, speaking lessons, intense choreo. It was kind of driving you up the wall. 

Mostly because it wasn’t going well. 

Your group was currently promoting your newest comeback. After your usual schedules you had to go straight to JYP for dance practice with your drill sergeant of a dance teacher Ms. Choi and Hyunjin, which you could only describe as a spoiled prince. The way he’d roll his eyes at you at every mistake, or scoff at your questions. Like you get it, you were holding him back. But he could at least be a little more patient with you. 

The hardest part about the choreo was that neither you or Hyunjin had experience dancing with a partner and the choreo was not only sexy, it was sensual. All of your mistakes led to a lot of scolding from Ms. Choi.

Walking into the dance studio you set your bag down by the mirror, Hyunjjin was already there, early as usual. He stretched looking at you through the mirror. “Try not to make anymore mistakes today”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Like I’m the only one”

“You could try harder”

“And you could try not to be an asshole.” you crossed your arms over your chest. You didn’t want to admit it but he was right, you could put in more practice. He was always early and already covered in sweat. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed this yet but I’m not the main dancer in my group. This is hard-I’m a rapper”

“Then back out”

“I-I can’t…” you frowned looking down. You shook your head and put on your biggest smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “So you’re just gonna have to deal with me for a couple more days” your company wasn’t as big, your group was on the rise but didn’t have the proper exposure. This stage and hosting job could really boost your popularity. At least that’s what your ceo told you when he sold you on the job. At the time you were excited to be given such a big opportunity especially since you’d stated that you would love to work Hyunjin during a radio interview.

But dancing wasn’t easy. You weren’t bad by any means, but there was a certain level of confidence that was needed when executing the moves and you didn’t really know if you had it in you. Being sexy, tough, and girl crush was easy, but sensual? That required some finesse you weren’t sure you could fake. 

Ms. Choi walked in, the tap of her dance heels just as intimidating as the scowl on her face. “I trust you stretched already so let's get into it. You two need a lot of work” She took a seat at the front of the room. “And from the top”

You two took your position on the ground as the music began. You were too scared to admit that, you hadn’t stretched so you were rather stiff during the first run through. The first part of the dance wasn’t too hard, the moves were just detailed. The hardest part was that you were supposed to be blindfolded but your instructor didn’t think you were ready for that. And you didn’t blame her. The choreography was a romantic modern dance piece, and although you’ve done more intense choreo, this may have been the hardest to tackle. With modern dance, even letting out the right breath contributed to the choreo. 

You thought you were doing ok, up until Hyunjin had to do his handstand to fall into you. You immediately stiffened, it only got more intimate from there. From how he had to touch you, the eye contact, and the lifts. You did each move, but even you realized how awkward you must have looked. 

“Stop” Ms.Choi  sighed, turning off the music. “You’ve been at this for a week” she crossed her arms over her chest, almost glaring at you. “You’re not hopeless, you’re good at details and your facials sell it but your body-You’re supposed to trust him, and you don’t that’s why the dance looks bad. You’re stiff, you’re uncomfortable and the audience is gonna feel that. It physically makes me cringe seeing how stiff you are.” she groaned pacing. “You make these pretty expressions, until he has to get closer and then you ruin it.” 

“And Hyunjin you have good body control, but you lack confidence and you execute your moves half assed.” 

Both you and Hyunjin held your heads low nodding to her critique. “The stage is ten days away. And neither of you are ready. The moves are ok but the execution is everything, you can’t fake it on that stage you need to trust each other and you need to be confident.” she groaned pacing, running her hand through her hair in annoyance “I told them you two weren’t ready but your visuals were the selling point. Just because you’re both pretty doesn't mean you don’t have to work harder.”

You watched as Hyunjin flinched, that critique seemed to hit harder than anything else she’d said. It wasn’t the first time that she tore into you. In her defense you guys were getting better but you weren’t stage ready. She was right. But it was the only time that you’d seen Hyunjin actually affected by her words. 

“Again” she turned the music back on making you guys perform again, and again, and again. But there’s always a point in practice when you both were just too exhausted to do anymore. If you were being honest Hyunjin’s performance looked like it declined after her criticism. Like his head wasn’t in it. One of the only reasons that you were even remotely good at the choreo was because Hyunjin took the lead, but now he was starting to make mistakes the choreographer started to look visibly annoyed. “We’re done.” she stood abruptly making the chair behind her fall. “Do better. You can’t let your looks carry you through life.” she grabbed her bag. “If you care about your performance then you would practice more. And if you don’t just keep doing exactly what you’re doing.” she huffed before storming out.

Hyunjin collapsed on the ground, covering his eyes with his arm as he panted, exhausted from practice. 

“Are you crying…?” you raised a brow, crawling over to him. 

“No.” he scoffed “As if I’d tell you even if I was”

“Look Hyunjin, I’m sorry I’ll work harder. I think I dragged you down-”

“You did” he glared at you. “Especially during the lift. I’m not gonna drop you so trust me”

“I-” you looked at him incredulously. “You’re the one that hates me, how am I supposed to trust you?”

“I don’t hate you” he sat up, wiping the sweat from his forehead. “Why would you think I hated you?”

“Because you glare at me? Because you insult me. Because you looked disgusted from the moment they told you I was your partner.”

“I don’t hate you.” He sighed before looking at you, his eyes softening. “I just knew this was hard. I don’t dance with that many girls. And I knew this was gonna be hard- But I’m just tired of people thinking that I’m handed things just because of my face. I want to show them that I earned it too”

“So that’s why you looked so sad?”

“Let’s just say I heard that a lot as a trainee. I’m a visual so I can just half ass things.” his tone mocking but you could tell how deep that cut. 

“Then let's’ prove them wrong '' you stood up holding your hand to him.

He laughed before taking your hand. This being one of the few actual conversations the two of you managed to have without being sarcastic. 

“Ok first things first. Do I have permission to touch you?”

“Hyunjin you’ve been touching me this whole time”

“No, I mean like touch you, more intimately.” he gave you a half smile, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “Sometimes I feel like you’re uncomfortable so I don’t really commit to the choreo. Like I’m always scared I’m gonna touch the wrong place, or grab too rough so I falter. The whole concept is supposed to be like we’re in love right? So-”

“You have my permission” you smiled brightly “You’re allowed to do anything you think is gonna make the dance better.”

After a few more runs of the dance you found yourself smiling more. It wasn’t necessarily part of the concept, but as you and Hyunjin were able to execute it better you both ended up smiling more. 

Even to the point that you improvised parts, little lingering touches, cuping his cheeks, ghosting of your lips. How his hands no longer hesitated to caress your skin, or how he could maintain eye contact.

Rather it was the growing confidence, or the chance that you two had been at it for hours and you were just slap happy in the early hours of morning. Night long gone. You attempted the choreo with the blindfolds, your movements felt so natural in your limited senses. Almost like you could feel him, in a way you did have to trust him. And maybe you actually did? You removed his blindfold, still moving through the dance with your eyes covered, trusting in his lead.

You no longer stiffened when he went into the handstand above you. It’s like you knew he wasn’t going to fall on you, or had to worry about how he touched you. He moved to remove your blindfold, staring into your eyes. But both of you remained still, neither bothering to continue with the dance. You just stared into his beautiful eyes, his full lips parting slightly as he took you in. His long fingers caressing your skin, holding your face near him. His hand spanning over your jaw and neck as he took you in. 

“Hyunjin…” you whispered, pulling him from his thoughts.

“You said I can touch you as long as it makes the choreo better right?” his tone husky as the pad of his thumb ran across your lip. You nodded watching him, your voice trapped in your throat from how intensely he looked at you. “What if it had nothing to do with the choreo? What if I just wanted to…” his gaze dropped to your lips as you took in a breath.

“Wanted to what…?”

He smiled, his tongue darting passed his lips to lick them “You know what, especially with how you’re looking at me”

“How am I looking at you?”

“Like you want me to kiss you…” he grinned, running his thumb down your lip, tugging it slightly, loving just how pretty you looked with your mouth open. 

“Then do it-” the words were barely out of your mouth before he finally pulled you into a kiss. You struggled to match his pace to return the kiss. His tongue easily taking the lead, enticing the sweetest of moans from your mouth. “Mmm…”The tiniest hint of Americano still lingering on his lips.

His hand held you still against his mouth as he deepened it, taking your top lip between his teeth. Your fingers moved to lace in the hair on his nape, tangling between his black tresses. He chuckled against your lips as you tugged his hair breaking the kiss, if only for a moment. Long enough for him to just take in your appearance. Your eyes meeting his, your blissed out expression mirrored on his face. He brushed your hair out of your face, his fingers tracing your features before bringing your lips right back to his. You laughed feeling him lift you in his arms, your legs wrapping around his waist. 

He walked backwards until the back of his knees hit the black JYP couches that lined the wall. He sat down, pulling you closer to his lap, caressing your bottom as he moved his kisses down your neck. 

“No marks~” you whined looking down at him, pulling him back by hir hair. 

He chuckled “Mmm...what if I left marks down here” his fingers disappearing under your large t-shirt, running over your stomach. “You can’t get in trouble right?” his wiggled his brow, winking. 

You placed your hand on top of his. “I wear crop tops for this comeback-You can’t” you pouted. 

You quirked your head seeing a mischievous look on his face. “I can think of a few places to mark you” Before you could even question him, he laid you on your back and crawled over you. It wasn’t even fair, you two had been dancing for hours but he was practically glowing. He raked a hand through his sweaty hair before pushing up your t-shirt, not bothering to remove it. His mouth immediately finding the top of your breast, leaving little love bites along the top hem of your bra. “Here’s ok right?” he gave you a cheeky smile, his teeth nipping at the soft skin. 

You closed your eyes, gasping. Any coherent thoughts lost to his touch. His lips ghosted down your stomach. He was careful to leave small kisses, nothing that would mark you. But sweet, wet kisses trailing down to the top of your dance shorts. He placed another kiss over your center, grinning against the spandex as he felt your thighs clench, your toes curling at the contact. 

His fingers began rubbing you, creating the most welcomed friction between your legs. Even though he was working through two layers of clothes his vigorous moving was enough to stimulate. Just enough to make you desperate, and wanting for more. He smiled seeing the obvious pleasure that graced your face as he began to rub you harder, focusing on detailed little circles or just the right spot that made you writhe for him. Your moans were his driving force. Your whimpers and how sweet his name sounded on your lips, and how it echoed in the empty dance room. 

Your hands desperately reached back to grab the arm of the chair, your back arching against the couch, you were practically humping his hand. His fingers, relentless. It was so cruel. The friction relieved just a little bit of frustration, but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t like having him touch you directly. But you were too desperate to ask more. You didn’t want him to stop. Your hips steadily moved against him. You were so close, so so close. Just as you were about to reach a high. Just a little bit more. He moved up your body, silencing your moans with his lips, sucking on your tongue while he rubbed you through your shots. Maybe it was the built up tension, or how Hyunjin had been your crush for so long, but the moment his lips touched yours he felt you convulse. Your lower stomach coiling at your release. 

“Did you just…?” he gave you a crooked smile. “I didn’t even undress you Baby” He gripped your side just above your shorts wanting nothing more than to cause that beautiful fucked out expression again. 

“Mmmm Hyunjin…” your voice was barely a whisper as you looked up at him. Your chest rising and falling as you tried to gather your thoughts. “Are we really doing this?”

“Do you want to do this?” he smiled, kissing your core once more. 

You looked past him to the door. “What if someone comes in?”

“It’s 4am, no ones coming here, plus I already made you cum” he shrugged shyly before moving to get off of you. “But I get it we’re moving pretty fast so if you don’t want to-”

You sat up pushing him down by his chest. “I want to…but” you whispered peppering kisses down his neck, running your hand down his chest, and abs before reaching his sweatpants. “Do you have a condom?” you quirked your brow up, cupping the tent in his sweats. You almost laughed at how miserable he looked as the reality set in. Of course he didn’t, he didn’t bring much to dance practice since the dorm was literally down the road. 

“Fuck- No...dammit” he groaned covering his face, wanting to curse himself for going out of his way to get all worked up. 

“It’s ok”

“It is?!” his eyes sparkled brightly.

“Calm down” you scoffed. “I just meant we can do some thing. Not everything” Your fingers dipped inside, before pulling out his semi erect length. You ran your fingers up and down him, pumping him slowly and painfully. “Next time”

“Next time?” he whispered watching your mouth intensely. 

“Unless this was a one time thing and I-”

“No, No it’s not please. I’d like there to be a next time” his voice was almost too desperate. 

He smirked watching your every move, from how you bit down on your lip to how you glanced up at him, almost seeking permission to continue. Your thumb massaging his precum down his length before your tongue darted out to run a kitten lick over his head. Your mouth, slowly working down his length, taking him slowly. 

There was something about your eye contact that worked him over the edge. As you bobbed your head faster he groaned, taking a fist full of your hair. “Is it ok if I?” his tone was hesitant, until he saw how you smiled, winking at him. He got a little rougher, controlling your movements. Working you faster on him. The sounds of your gags and moans encouraging him to quicken his pace. “You’re doing so good, right there Baby” he smiled, his head rolling back in pleasure. His groans became more shallow and desperate “I’m gonna cum, you should stop” he looked down anxiously, noticing how you only moved faster taking him deeper, wanting him to cum in your mouth. 

His grip on your hair tightening as he released his load inside your warm mouth, the sticky bitterness sliding down your throat. He coughed taking him out, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. He gripped your face bringing you into another kiss. 

“I wish I had a condom...I can go and get one, and we can pick right up where we left off, just give me a couple minutes”

You shook your head, cupping his face. “It’s ok-”

“It’s not” he pouted “You were so good to me…” he traced your lips. “I need to make it up to you”

“Next time” you laughed relaxing on his chest as he absently smoothed down your hair. Both of you coming down from your highs. 

But next time couldn’t come soon enough. 

Especially since your manager was pissed that you didn’t come home until the morning. Luckily Ms. Choi did vouch for you and said she told you to practice longer. But that wasn’t enough to make your manager lay off, he’d been watching you like a hawk. You had to keep your interactions with Hyunjin to a minimum but he more than made up for it with his daily texts to you.

Your promotions got busier, Hyunjin started prepping for a comeback; And although you two did find the time for practices with your choreographer you both had schedules right after. There was never any alone time, which was exactly why anytime you were together then tension was almost suffocating. 

The next few dance practices went immensely better. The tension was still noticeable but instead of being one based in awkwardness, unfamiliarity, and inexperience. It was based in lust, desperation, and trust. Which worked perfectly for your dance. The improvisations Hyunjin and you took only added to the intimacy of the dance. Lingering looks, desperate touches, how you were close enough to breathe in his exhales. 

Your dance instructor had a lot of questions on how you two managed to improve so much, but as long as you were performance ready she had no complaints. 

After your dress rehearsal you weren’t able to see Hyunjin for the final two days before the performance. But with your dance practices getting heavier, and the undeniable attraction between you two you couldn’t even ignore just how horny he made you. Admittedly that led to quite a few flirty text messages to pass the time until you saw him again. 

Overall your texts were usually pretty sweet, checking in on one another. Missing each other, checking for the moment when your members went to sleep for you to be able just to talk to him because the sound of his voice caused this little flutter in your chest. And as sweet as those interactions were you needed...more. 

There was some dirty talk here and there, but you decided to up the ante with a sexy photo. Your favorite lingerie, on full display for him. The bold red color, a beautiful contract to your skin tone. 

Part of you did purely for teasing, you didn’t exactly expect anything more than making him flustered. You weren’t prepared for him to send a photo back. His grey sweatpants low on his hips, arms flexing as he stroked his hardened length through it. It was a rare opportunity to see him shirtless, his abs on full display. 

It threw you back to that moment in the dance room. How surprised you were when you traced the outline of his hard abs, especially since Hyunjin was so slim. You bit your lip, your own hand wandering against your panties, just to recreate the sweet friction he caused for you. You took a deep breath, not even knowing what to do with just how turned on you were. You couldn’t even reply to him, your own needs came first. You wouldn’t be able to think until you came. Your fingers worked your clit over at the very thought of him touching you. 

When you finally reached your climax you looked back over at your phone, Hyujin sent another text after a few minutes of radio silence from you. 

Are you ok? Too much? 😏

You smiled, limply grabbing your phone typing out a reply.

I should have let you fuck me raw

At first the teasing and flirting was supposed to help relieve you of the frustrated physical contact you shared for your dance practices, but it got you both so hot and bothered. Hyunjin was practically on edge the day of the award show. The only thing on his mind was how he was going to find alone time with you. He stood with his members, dressed in a designer suit in the audience. It was almost time for his segment and he kept catching your gaze. You giving him the subtlest of winks, and smiles. Nothing too obvious since the fans, and cameras were on you. But he caught them. 

 Chan noticed how wound up Hyunjin was and just figured it was nerves. 

“Hey, you ok man? You look tense” he gave him a pat on the back, massaging his tense shoulders a bit. 

“I’m fine, I just-I’m frustrated”

“I understand, these award shows are a lot and you even have to host a segment and do a performance.” he rubbed his back comforting him. “At least you’re not alone” he gestured toward you as you made hearts at the camera. “She’s probably going through the same thing” 

“I hope so” he whispered more so to himself, a small smile gracing his face. 

You and Hyunjin had changed into a matching couple suit and dress as you prepared to announce the next group's performance. Your red gown, clinging to your shape, the bright color matching the accents of Hyunjin’s lowly buttoned shirt. Anytime the camera panned to the crowd between announcements there were just one too many seemingly innocent brushes of his hand. Against your exposed arm, lower back, butt. And worst of all, he kept a straight face while doing it. You had to bite back a smile, trying to look forward and not give him the satisfaction that every touch from him was shooting straight to your core. 

“You look so good in red” he leaned down to whisper in your ear, hiding behind his cue cards.

“Can you behave? There’s literally thousands of cameras on us” you nudged his side as subtly as you could. Occasionally giving a little finger heart to your fans. 

“I can’t help it when you look like that.” he scrunched his face in that little habit of his, his nose wiggling just a bit as his eyes made that precious moon shape

“Stop~” you pouted, “How am I supposed to do our dance when I just wanna jump your bones.”

“Do it” he challenged you. “If you ask nicely I might even let you”

You looked at him incredulously at his boldness, speechless. “I-You-” he looked down at you with that smug smile and you knew you whipped. 

“Standby” the camera man and PD signaled. 

You two immediately turned on your idol charm. Smiling and joking, giving just a little fan service and playfulness while introducing the next performers. As soon as that was over you were ushered into costume again for your dance stage. 

Maybe it was because you two had done the routine hundreds of times. Maybe it was because you were lost in the screaming fans, bright lights and cameras, maybe it was because you having him hold your body felt like it was one of the most natural and welcomed things in the world. But all of your anxieties about the stage melted away the moment he touched your hand. 

The moves were almost second nature at this point. 

All of the tension and desperation you felt for one another personified in one brilliant performance. Close, but not quite close enough. 

He pulled you in his arms in the final move of the dance, cupping your cheeks and staring adoringly into your eyes. Your nose brushed his as you smiled back. The crowd roared as the curtains closed on you and you stepped away, your manager ushered you to get change and to meet your group. “Hurry up, you have to shower and change.” he grabbed you by your arm walking you to the changing room.

You followed him to the dressing room, but you kept looking back to Hyunjin. His dark eyes were mesmerizing, almost haunting. 

As you reached your dressing room, you looked to the outfit hanging near the shower for you to change into. You turned on the water to the shower letting it warm when there was a frantic knock at the door. Figuring it was your manager you frowned “Yes? Did you forget some-” you gasped opening it and being met with Hyunjin towering over you. Before you could even ask he stepped into the room and locked the door behind him. “What are you-” he cupped your cheeks kissing you deeply. Backing you up until you hit the sink counter. His hands hastily placing you on top of it. Your legs, wrapping around his waist, pulling him closer. 

He smiled pulling away from the kiss, his forehead pressing against yours as he stared at you adoringly. “How fast do you think you can cum?” his fingers traced your lower lip. 

“How romantic” you rolled your eyes “That’s exactly what a girl wants to hear” you played with the hair on his nape.

“I promise I’ll take my time with you next time but right now I really need to be inside you, it’s driving me crazy” he placed his hand on top of your thigh, tracing the skin under your shorts. “Please?” his voice was so desperate as he whispered against your lower lip. “May I fuck you?”

“Such a gentleman” you grinned, eyeing him. 

“Not for long” he bit down on your lower lip. 

“You may fuck me” you laughed, sucking on his lip.

He immediately moved to remove your shorts, making you lift your hips so he could pull the tight material down your thighs. 

“I owe you from last time” he pressed a kiss against your panties before pulling them down as well, joining your shorts on the ground. He dropped to his knees, and the very sight made you wet. His longer fingers spread you open as his tongue buried itself deep within your core, He groaned feeling just how wet you were. He palmed your breast through your bra under your shirt, massaging you as he relentlessly worked your clit. 

Your eyes rolled back, toes curling as you shook. You were already so close, the performance made you wet just because you were so touch starved and his little verbal foreplay really got you going. 

Feeling you cum on his tongue he pulled back, licking the slick off his lips. “You taste so good Baby” he gripped you by the back of your neck pulling you close to him. His lips hovering over yours “Do you wanna taste yourself?” he gave you a mischievous look. 

You placed your hand over his large fingers feeling him apply the tiniest of pleasure around your neck. Your breath hitched, you were almost ashamed at how much you enjoyed the feeling of his hands around your throat; demanding all your attention. He chuckled seeing the smile growing on your face. “Fuck… do you like this?” he pecked your lips, you licked his mouth, tasting yourself. “Mmm I like this a lot, but we don’t have a lot of time and if you don’t hurry up and fuck me, I’m just gonna fuck myself”

“You wouldn’t dare” his tone clipped as he slipped his fingers inside of you, pumping them faster, knowing you were still sensitive from that last time you came. He worked you over quick and rough, your clit reddening under his touch.

“Ah-Hyunjin~” you whined, before grabbing his length. 

“Spit Baby” he held his hand out in front of you, and rubbing his hands down his hard cock. The slick, allowing him to move faster as he encouraged your hands to move around him.

You licked your lips watching him with hooded eyes. “Do you have a condom this time?”

“Of course I do, I bought a whole pac-” he stopped himself, wincing before pressing his head against yours. He looked so pained. “I hate myself”

“Where is it?” you laughed scratching his scalp. 

“In my bag...in my dressing room… I can go run and get it I can ju-”

“Fuck me raw” you whispered against the shell of his ear. “If you leave I’m gonna lose it.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m ok with it if you are...I mean I’m clean and I honestly never really do this and I like you”

“I like you too” he hated how desperate he sounded but it was hard not too given the situation. You smiled into another kiss as he slowly guided himself inside you, your walls stretching to his length taking all of him. Inch by inch. You wrapped your arms around his neck encouraging him to fill you. He grabbed you thighs, spreading your legs further as he pumped into you, his lips never leaving yours.

You moved your hips against his, matching his pace. “Mmm Hyunjin please”

“Not so loud Baby” he chuckled shushing you, his kisses moving from your swollen lips down your neck, unbuttoning your shirt to get access to your breast. He roughly moved your bra upwards releasing your breast, and latching on to your nipples, “Mmm…” his gaze flicked upwards to you. Your nipple between his teeth. He loved seeing you absolutely come undone to his touch. The way you squirmed, desperately panting. His your hand shot up to cover your mouth to silence your moans. He loved you like this. Gorgeous, wanting, and fucked out of your mind because of him. “I promise next time I’m gonna take my sweet time with you, but-”

“I know, I know” you panted cupping his cheeks. “I’m almost there please” he slammed into your faster. Silencing your lips with his as he snapped his hips faster, his thumb rubbing your sore, swollen clit making sure he didn’t cum alone. 

“Ah-” 

“Shh!” he bit your lip, shoving his tongue inside of your mouth as you came against his cock. Your body convulses, as your stomach tightened before you fell limp against his shoulder. He held you close, cumming inside. His whimpers, met with your sweet kisses. 

You laughed cupping his cheeks, whispering sweet nothings. His hair sticking to his delicate features. Years of pinning for him, weeks of suffocating tension. It made it all worth it. 

“If you keep looking at me like that, I’m gonna fuck you again” he laughed brushing his nose against yours. 

“I wouldn’t be opposed to it”

Just as he looked like he was going to take you up on your offer, your manager knocked on the dressing room door. Yelling for you to hurry it up. The two of you looked at each other trying to stifle a laugh as you replied in the cheeriest tone possible. “I’m almost finished”

END.

Hey friends! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ   I hope you enjoyed that, I know it was pretty long. Do you guys prefer long updates like this or do you like shorter stories in two or three parts? Please let me know if you have a preference 

If you want to see more of my writing here’s my Masterlist 

[maxsix]

KPOP BIASES AS: DARK ACADEMIA

H1GHR Employee Jaebeom: Toshifumi Hinata - Reflections. For when he reads his books and drinks his coffee by the windowsill. Time has gone by too fast but he will also not rush. 

The Notorious H.A.N: Clint Mansell - Lux Æterna. The internal conflict and melancholia in this juxtaposed with the anxious strings reminds of my first impressions of Jisung. I haven’t changed my mind. He just seems like he has a lot of shadows. 

Sith Lord San: Antonio Vivaldi-Four Seasons: Summer/Storm. Vivaldi was metal af. This entire piece is insane. This is not to soothe your mind, it’s to stimulate your senses and energise your soul like an electric shock. It’s so unrelenting and manic and the pure physicality transcends, man. I’m tired just listening to it. It’s just nuts. It’s music to commit crimes to. That’s San. Obviously. 

FKA Hongjoong: Ramin Djawadi - Runaway. One of my favourite modern day composers. This is a cover but a very surprising one. The ambition one must have to cover a rap song with just a piano and make it sound just as tortured but also beautiful and nuanced. I know Ateez rework classic symphony into modern kpop but this is like the reverse, taking rap and making it sound classic. He/they just do things that surprise you. 

Jungkook With No Nickname: Hans Zimmer - Time. This song feels heavy and loaded. It feels weighted down by a very strange life. I sometimes think this is what Jungkook might sound like when he’s alone after a tour has finished and he has all this time to reflect. 

Taeyong Mutant Ninja Turtle: Ludovico Einaudi-Experience. The title is perfect in a way that ruins the meaning if I had to explain it to anyone. It’s an incredibly introspective and intimate piece and it really reminded me of Taeyong, the person, not the idol. 

Christopher Reynolds: John Murphy - Fade To. This somehow sounds very familiar. Very comforting in its eloquent darkness. Very heavy with narrative and backstory that wants to be told. But the truth is, this was a rejected film score (John had a lot of them, I don’t know why, they are just brilliant). This just reminded me of Chan and the way he has become the fandom’s comfort, even when we know there is a mess behind the scenes. 

Jedi Knight Changbin: Ramin Djawadi - Light Of The Seven. This piece has a strong narrative and clear ‘movements’ within it. I don’t even know if it’s justified but I feel like Changbin could be very good storytelling kind of composer. I would not be surprised at all if he wrote a rap opera. Not now but maybe it a few years. And because he’s a Leo, of course it’s dramatic as hell. 

National Treasure Jaehyun: John Murphy - In The House, In A Heartbeat. Don’t cheat, you have to let the entire thing play through to reach the climax. You might recognise it from the zombie movie, 28 Days Later. Let’s face it, Jaehyun is the chillest mf in NCT and he would undoubtedly outlast anyone and everyone in a zombie apocalypse. This track is chill, simple, creepy but also defiant. What scares him? I don’t even know. 

Fresh Prince Seonghwa: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart - Requiem in D Minor 3rd Movement Lacrimosa. Like a very priceless piece of artwork on the wall of the Sistine chapel, if the Sistine chapel had a gothic phase. Seonghwa always sounds like expensive, ethereal, gothic choral in my head. 

Hyunjin Thee Stallion: John Murphy - In Extremis. I think this is what it sounds like when anxiety/depression takes a shower, puts on a nice outfit and dares to wander outside and think about tomorrow.  This track is one of my favourites from John but it was also another rejected score. Someone is always going to have a problem with you in some way, so you might as well do what you want. 

That Legend Taemin: Michael Nyman - The Heart Asks Pleasure First. There is no piece of music that I can justly and accurately give to Taemin but this is my favourite piano piece, it was from the movie The Piano, and one of the very first pieces I learnt to play when I was old enough to ask for music beyond the sonatas and minuets for state piano exams. It’s so incredibly evocative, wild and melancholic to me but when you play it, there’s like 20 things going on at the same time and the left hand just never stops. It’s kind of manic. I love it. Oh, the title is taken from an Emily Dickinson poem. Because of course it is. Maybe this fits him after all.