#modern fantasy religion is usually pretty lazy

[izzythehutt]

While I'm still on the subject of Shadow and Bone, can we talk about how lazy Berdugo's religious world building is? You create a pastiche steampunk fantasy version of 18th century Imperial Russia, and you know creating a fantasy world without some form of religion/spirituality would feel weird, so you throw in a church whose belief system you clearly don't give a shit about fleshing out or explaining at all...with no Jesus or God....but it has saints for some reason (who get martyred apparently, though there's no explanation of what they're being martyred for) and icons. Essentially, the most surface level version of Russian Orthodoxy without any substance underpinning it. You even have a kind of pseudo Rasputin character who might or might not be a priest in this church, who the eff knows?

The thing that annoyed me most was that in her fantasy Russia they call the religious services "mass." Mass comes from the Latin word "missa" and is used exclusively in the west. If you call a church service "mass" in Russia they get pissed off. It's Divine or Holy Liturgy. What, you couldn't scan the freaking wikipedia page of the Orthodox church to make this one incredibly easy to get right detail in the world building?

[alectology-archive]

SJ/M’s unacceptable and lazy usages of real world places/cultures

I’m aiming to make this the most comprehensive list of SJ/M stealing bits and pieces of world history and pretending like she came up with them. Feel free to comment down below or send an ask if you can think of anything.

The addition of adaptation of names from some real-world places is included either because of insensitivity (Hybern and Prythian) or mostly because SJ/M doesn’t try to represent any of the cultures she takes from.

Note that this post will keep getting updated as I discover more evidences of unacceptable usages of cultures. Also note that there is every possibility that some resemblances are purely accidental and/or unintentional. So take it with a grain of salt.

T/HRONE OF GLASS

- Most of the cultural activities mentioned in Tower of Dawn are rip-offs of Mongolian culture and seem to resemble the Dothraki from Game of Thrones very closely.

- Pagan holidays mentioned in the books:

Yulemas* is celebrated in Erilea despite there already existing an established religion consisting of 12 gods and goddesses.

Samhain* is a festival celebrated by Irish and Scottish people.

Beltane* is a festival celebrated historically in Ireland and Scotland.

- Nehemia is probably derived from the Jewish leader Nehemiah who helped rebuild Jerusalem. Instead of trying to work that into Nehemia’s narrative, SJ/M killed off Nehemia to serve a white woman’s narrative.

- Mycenae is a historical site in Greece.

- Illium is an actual Greek city as well.

- Ravi in KoA is named after a Hindi word which means “sun”.

- Strangely enough Ravi’s brother is named Sol after the Roman god of the sun.

- Suria, where Ravi is from, is also a synonym for sun in Hindi.

- Mab is from the story of “Queen Mab”.

- Maeve is a sexual goddess in Irish mythology who was actually raped. So making Maeve a rapist in the books was hurtful.

A/COTAR

- Nagas belong to Hindu/Indian mythology included in a book that’s clearly a very western fantasy and has little to no PoC representation. 

- Illyrians were an actual indo-european tribe with close relations to modern day Albanians. S/JM is not the first person to feature them in her work but other authors have used versions of the name like “Illyria” by Shakespeare, “Ilirea” by Paolini, “Valyria” by GRRM etc. which are acceptable.

- Calan Mai is actually a celebration of spring in Welsh culture. As @gemorsedd put it so eloquently, SJ/M turned it into a festival about Tamlin being unable to control his hormones.

- Hybern is derived from the classic latin name of Ireland which is “Hibernia”. 

- Prythian is a modified version of the ancient name of Britain “Prydain”. COINCIDENTALLY, Prythian VERY closely resembles the UK. It’s also possible that she plagiarised the name from Anne Bishop’s Daughter of Blood.

Note for further reading: Read @blakeseptember’s about why SJ/M was especially insensitive in including Prythia and Hybern in the ways she did: https://blakeseptember.tumblr.com/post/187088853587/hybern-as-ireland

- Bharat is actually the Hindi name for India which is mentioned in ACO/TAR. Not only is it mentioned that Feyre’s father was sailing to Bharat to trade in cloth and spices (which was exactly what British colonialists and traders did when they sailed to India), it’s also said, quite clearly, that Feyre’s mother died of Typhus while her cousin died of Malaria (IN BHARAT). By doing so SJ/M is blatantly promoting a very colonialist view of India. 

The Malaria mention: “My mind was void, a blank mess of uselessness. Could it be some sort of disease? My mother had died of typhus and her cousin had died of malaria after going to Bharat. But none of those symptoms seemed to match a riddle. Was it a person?”

The Trade of cloth and spices: “I swallowed. ‘Eight years ago he amassed our wealth on three ships to sail to Bharat for invaluable spices and cloth.’”

- Myrmidons feature in A/COWAR. The Myrmidons is actually a nation from Ancient Greek mythology (led by Achilles in the siege of Troy). 

- Harem pants which are worn in parts of South and Middle-east Asia feature in the books where they’re introduced into a court consisting of white people only.

- F/eyre’s floral tattoos are very reminiscent of mehendis which are very important to Indian, Arabic and North African cultures but it’s a trait given to a white woman here. Read this post.

C/RESCENT CITY

- Danaan is from Tuatha de Danaan (celtic mythology) / Danaans is another name for Greece in the Iliad, used interchangeably with “Argives” and “Achaeans”.

- Avallen is Avalon (the legend of King Arthur). Ruhn’s story also bears a very close resemblance to the legend.

- 6 point star = Star of David

- Lehabah = a word in Hebrew meaning "a flame" (להבה)

- Mount Hermon = an actual mountain place in the northern part of Israel.  In Hebrew: הר החרמון.

- SPQM’s full form is Senatus Populusque Midgard. Which is awfully close to the SPQR of the ancient Roman empire which is Senatus Populusque Romanus

- The river Tiber mentioned in CC is actually a Roman river.

- Midgard, in Norse mythology, is the home of mankind. In Norse mythology.

- Sandriel: Comes from the angel Sadriel, the angel of order. S/JM added an “n.”

- Orion “Hunt” A/thalar: First name is pretty obvious, Orion as in the hunter which is where his name “Hunt” comes from. Probably from the god Attar called Athtar in Southern Arabia. Attar is sometimes considered a storm god explaining his lightning powers, but also linked to the Morningstar aka Lucifer. No explanations are given regarding as to how the constellations of our world are the same as that of SJ/M’s fantasy AU.

- Shahar Daystar: From the dawn deity Shahar. Also linked to Lucifer.

- Jesiba Roga: A Croatian respelling of Baba Yaga. Jesiba Roga, is quite literally just a combination of Ježibaba (a figure closely related to Baba Yaga in West Slavic folklore) and Baba Roga (the Croatian version of of Baba Yaga). 

- Danika Fendyr: Danika is a Slavic dawn deity. Fendyr comes from Fenrir a wolf in Norse mythology. 

- Isaiah: Taken from Isaiah 14:12-15 which details the fall of Lucifer. It’s also easily accessible from Shahar’s Wikipedia page (which may imply that SJ/M uses Wikipedia for research and just steals/lazily incorporates whatever she finds along the way.)

12 “How you are fallen from heaven,

O [a]Lucifer, son of the morning!

How you are cut down to the ground,

You who weakened the nations!

13 For you have said in your heart:

‘I will ascend into heaven,

I will exalt my throne above the stars of God;

I will also sit on the mount of the congregation

On the farthest sides of the north;

14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds,

I will be like the Most High.’

15 Yet you shall be brought down to Sheol,

To the [b]lowest depths of the Pit.

- Fury Axtar: Hunt is likely related to Attar or maybe even Ishtar or Ashtaroth. It’s unclear right now. Ishtar is sometimes linked to Lucifer as well. It’s possible that she’s named after the Furies in Greek mythology, deities of vengeance.

- Micah Domitus: Micah is a prophet in Judaism.

- Syrinx: A chimera in this book, a nymph known for her devotion to Artemis.

- Urd: The god of flame and shadow possibly the name comes from Urðr one of the three Norns in Norse mythology.

- Luna: A Roman moon goddess

- Cthona: “Chthonic”, in English, describes deities or spirits of the underworld, especially in Ancient Greek religion.

- Vanir: The Vanir are actually group of Norse gods.

- Asphodel Meadows: A section of the ancient Greek underworld where ordinary souls were sent to live after death.

- Hel: Hel is a goddess but also a location in Norse Mythology for the dead. Depictions of Hel depend on the source of the information. It’s strange that Hel and Asphodel Meadows belong in the same place, translating to lazy world building on SJ/M’s part.

- Midgard: In Norse Mythology basically the plane of existence of humans.

- Laconic Mountains: Named after Laconia the administrative capital of Sparta.

- Nidaros: Where Bryce grew up. It’s the ancient name of Norway’s capital when the Christian kings ruled. It’s now called Trondheim.

- Istros River: Taken from Istros of Ancient Greece

- Valbara: Taken from the super continent Vaalbara

- Pangera: probably Pangea, the huge supercontinent on which dinosaurs lived

- Crown of Thorns: In reality it’s a symbol of Jesus but in the book it’s branded onto the foreheads of angels who rebelled in a war some decades ago.

- Keres: Phillip Briggs’s terrorist gang is named after the Keres who are “goddesses who personified violent death and who were drawn to bloody deaths on battle fields.”

- Sailing: A Norse funeral custom for Vikings as seen in movies like How To Train Your Dragon 2 and Thor: The Dark World. Here’s more information on it, but it seems SJ/M got it wrong. Most Vikings were usually cremated and it was mostly used for Kings and Chieftains (Danika might fall into the Chieftain category).

- 33rd Imperial Legion: Could be a reference again to Jesus who was 33 at his death.

- The Ophian rebels (of which the the Keres rebels are a subgroup of) are named after Ophian, and elder Titan in Greek mythology.

Sources I’ve derived some facts from so far:

- Sapir Englard on Goodreads via @spaceshipkat’s tumblr post using Hebrew in CCity.

- @bittenwrath for basically everything in crescent city. 

- @blakeseptember’s tumblr about Hybern’s origins.

- An anon dropped by with “Hel”

- @chenmighty and @tavithelibrarian pointed out the Illyrians.

- @sylphene and @omourningstar for Prydain

- @ok-boomer pointed out that Yulemas, Samhain and Beltain are all pagan holidays.

- @gemorsedd For pointing out Calan Mai

- An anon pointed out the Norns, Danaan and Avalon.

- @mimiofthemalfoys for the Bharat, malaria, typhus, spices and cloth mention.

- @kryingkardashianz for Danaans being another name of Greece and Myrmidions.

- an anon pointed out Nidaros

- @shurislut for mehendi and harem pants

- @sanktaalinaa for Jesiba Roga

- @croissantcitysucks for the Ophian Rebels

[sagebodisattva]

The Universe Doesn’t Give a Shit About You

You know, one thing that has become seriously irritating nowadays, is this whole “the universe is doing something for you” shtick, that’s apparently become the latest favorite new age meme, currently making it’s rounds on the internets. Take a look at this stuff.

(A variety of examples are shown.)

And that’s just a small sampling. And this isn’t just a case of a few isolated incidents. This type of sentiment is everywhere now; seemingly having become all the rage among many aspiring spiritual truth seekers.

“Depressed? Cheer up. The universe is horny for you!”

By first appearances, making references to the universe seems to reflect a more scientifically based position, although, I don’t think these seekers really mean it in a scientific way. Essentially, these new age universe worshippers are just former theists, who probably finally realized the complete absurdity of that position, and so now, have shifted their heels over to pantheism; that is, a doctrine which identifies god with the universe, or regards the universe as a manifestation of god; which is basically a veneration of nature. And, as we all know, mother nature is pretty much a cold, predatory, discriminating bitch; so I’m not sure why anyone would associate nature with a benevolent god.

I know, god loves you so much, he allows evil to rack you to the core on purpose. It’s a test, right? It’s all part of his divine plan. God just wants to see if you will curse his name when he makes times get incredibly tough. It’s a Job type of deal. He’s forcing you into a position of struggle and suffering, all so he can wage a bet with the devil over whether or not you will be disobedient. Isn’t that just so cool of him? Now you get to show god just how loyal and subservient you are to him, despite all the abuses he hurls at you! That’s such an enviable position! The one true god loves you so much, he tortures you as a demonstration of just how much you worship and obey him. That’s what love is. And just think of how lucky you are! He picked *you* as a guinea pig in his twisted self aggrandizing experiment! He chose YOU! This would make such a great reality TV show!

Heaven and Hell productions, presents...

“The God Fucks Me Factor.”

Ah yes, it would be, so nice. Because god takes great pride in your blind obedience, you know. And he’s a very jealous god, if you can believe it. So what’s going on inside your head is of supreme importance him! You must think that you believe in him, then confess it with thy lips, and then go down, and perform some lip service on the godhead. You should show great pride in being a slave. It’s a feather in god’s cap. And now, can be more fully realized with the advent of pantheism. It’s theism, with a pan. It’s pantheism.

Famous 17th century Dutch philosopher Baruch Spinoza was really captivated by the idea of pantheism, and his many philosophical contemplations on the subject is largely responsible for ushering the position into modern day prominence. Pantheists do not celebrate a distinct personal or anthropomorphic god, but rather, accept all gods into worship, because they view god as everything. An ideological stance that can become quite problematic, to say the least.

Throughout history, pantheism has been a belief system that, in one form or another, tended to be the most common default faith practice among the many various indigenous peoples from around the globe. It’s the same ideologic methodology that the pagans of Europe used to practice; that is, before Rome came along and forced Christianity deep down into every person’s every available orifice. And you should always keep this historical fact in the forefront of your mind. Your Abrahamic belief system is the result of a Roman soldier raping someone’s great great great great grandma and grandpa with a big middle eastern theological strap-on dildo. Don’t you ever forget that. Your whole modern day spiritual life was originally founded on a theological psych-rape. Your precious sacred religion was passed down to you through your family being raped. And it’s no coincidence that Rome, an arrogant empire dead-set on conquering the entire world, found Christianity to be quite compatible with their grandiose ambitions. And that should tell you something about the core fabric of the Abrahamic cult religions.

So, pantheists believe that god is everything. All inclusive, with no exceptions. No standards or filter necessary. This includes every kind of concept; even the stupid ideas and majestic fantasies, floating around inside our heads. And this also includes every kind of object or person to have ever existed, no matter who or what they are. This means they are ALL god, whether it be a virus, a parasite or an infectious bacteria, whether it be a machine gun, cocaine or a dildo, whether John Wayne Gacy, the unabomber or Adolf Hitler, they are all but different forms of an ambiguous enigmatic god! He’s so complex, you can’t even fathom him. He’s got value and purpose so profoundly beyond your puny logic, you can’t even question him.

And not only is every kind of object or person a manifestation of god, but guess what? With pantheism, ALL the different gods, are god as well. It’s not that some gods are valid, and some gods are not, or that maybe all gods are completely full of shit, no! In fact, it actually quite the opposite, I’m afraid. Now, all different gods are actually the one same god. Every so called “god” is graciously welcomed into pantheism with open arms. Whether Yahweh, Zeus, Horace, or the great honorable bull testicle god, all of them are just different manifestations of the one same god!

Yeah. You know, when it gets right down to it, I don’t have any issue with the whole “god is everything”, bullshit, but, uh, to say the least, I think these concepts might be just a little *too* inclusive for most of the population’s tastes. They’re simply not palatable to their delicate tongue’s tender sensibilities, and they therefor much more prefer to perform oral worship on a single god head. Who am I to stop them?

But the concept of a universe is just so much better then a god, isn’t it? Yeah. It’s a better false substitution. The idea of the universe as a higher power is more soothing then the idea of a god as a higher power. This particular surrogate for the truth is just so much more secure and comforting. But in the end, it’s the same exercise. The idea that something ELSE in the field of perception is the responsible agent. In fact, most of this pantheism business just seems to be a matter of replacing the word “god” with the word “universe”, and calling this a new ideological position. Are you confused? Well, worry not! I will gladly give you a little taste, and bestow upon you three prime examples.

Quote:

“Never trust anyone completely but God. Love people, but put your full trust only in God.”

Lawrence Welk.

Nice. Which now becomes:

“Never trust anyone completely but the universe. Love people, but put your full trust only in the universe.”

Quote:

“Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God’s handwriting.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Sweet. But could also be stated:

“Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is the universe’s handwriting.”

Quote:

“Man has to start with something and then develop it - he cannot ever make anything from nothing, only God can do that, and call forth the creation.”

Margaret Weston.

Awesome. But let’s not overlook:

“Man has to start with something and then develop it - he cannot ever make anything from nothing, only the universe can do that, and call forth the creation.”

See how it works? Just about any dialogue about god could still hold water when replacing the word “god” with “the universe.” So it’s really not all that much of a novel position. It’s just a convenient one-size-fits-all philosophical cure-all. An ideological placebo. And I’m not one who is much impressed by Dues Ex philosophy, which is what any type of theology basically is, including pantheism.

For those of you not familiar with the term, “Dues Ex”, it is derived from the term “Dues Ex Machina”, a Greek phrase, which translated means, “a god from a machine”, and is usually employed as a literary device, wherein an explicitly complex seemingly intractable problem in a plot narrative is suddenly inexplicably solved by the addition of an unexpected character, object or situation. Think the eagles coming to save Frodo from uncertain doom in the fiery volcano of Mordor. Basically, it’s a cheap fast way to tie up the loose ends of a difficult quandary. It’s ideological laziness, and quite frankly, has no place in philosophy, in much the same way that theism has no place in philosophy.

And by the way, speaking of the “a god from the machine” thought experiment, it reminds me that, when it comes to gods and machines and ghosts and men, philosophers have gotten the whole thing all wrong all along. A god may emerge from a machine, but if it does, bear in mind that both the god and the machine are equally sourced from the pure mind. And this is the part people just can’t seem to understand. Though-out history, philosophers have always deeply contemplated the idea of “a ghost in the machine”, but that’s because most philosophers think they are a physical creature living in a physical environment. But it’s a huge lie. There is no ghost in the machine. What you actually have, is a machine in the ghost; as, there is no such thing as physicality, and a “deterministic mechanical universe”, is just an abstraction. What you call “physicality”, is a denser mental state; and to attribute this mind-space into an idea of objective locality is just plain falsehood. It’s just plain wrongheaded.

And it doesn’t matter if you include the “self”, as god, because this “self”, is still an attribution. The egoic character that you’ve associated an identity with, isn’t a self, so this is still in the same realm of falsehoods. Illusion is everything on the screen of perception; including the physical body, and all it’s supposed psycho-biological properties. Wherein is any universe?

So that’s pantheism; which, I’m not all that partial towards, due to it’s attributional psychology, which shares the same central backbone as orthodox religion. Why would it be any different with pantheism? The responsibility is still elsewhere, hence the power is elsewhere also; so it matters not that you’ve replaced an anthropological deity with celestial chemistry. Same excrement, different poop chute. And that’s the same reason why, that if a truth seeker were to take a purely scientific position considering the universe, it wouldn’t be all that much different then a theist or a pantheist viewpoint.

“How’s that?”

That’s right, Charlie. As previously stated, a purely cosmological scientific viewpoint; that is, the idea of the universe as some grand cosmic physical context of exterior space consisting of a mixture of different objects and chemistries, is just that: an idea. In other words, also completely full of shit. There is no “universe”, existing, anywhere. And that’s why, the universe doesn’t give it a shit about you. There’s no vibrating strings out there governing some law of attraction that brings forth metaphysical emergent properties when you energetically match a frequency. No. What you really have, is just an IDEA of a universe, which is not really located in a space-time continuum, but, only imagined as a location in a mind-space continuum.

If you can understand this basic fundamental, then you may have finally grasped one of the basic truths of reality.

[icarusaturn]

Learn about me!

1. Your name?

Maria Lawson

2. Nationality?

American

3. Age?

16

4. Birthday?

November 12, 2003

5. Zodiac sign?

Scorpio

6. Gender?

Female

7. Sexuality?

Bisexual

8. Your looks ( add a picture or describe them)

9. What do you/did you study?

I’m still in high school, but I’d like to study something either about language, music, or helping people/animals

10. What’s your current job like/what do you have?

I work during the summer at a Dairy Queen, a lot of my friends work there so it’s usually pretty fun

11. Your birth order?

Second, third if you count my sister

12. How many siblings do you have?

2, one brother and over half sister

13. Do you have good relations with your family?

Mostly yes

14. How many friends do you have?

Many but only around 5 close friends

15. Your relationship status?

Single

16. What do you look for in an SO?

Honest, kind, loves animals and kids, up to adventure, loves music, loves nerdy things, open to trying new things, good sense of humor, respects boundaries & privacy, not pushy

17. Do you have a crush?

No

18. When did you have your first kiss?

8th grade

19. Do you prefer a serious/meaningful relationship or casual dating/one night stands?

I won’t mind either a serious relationship or casual dating

20. What are your deal breakers?

No common sense, being an asshole, pushy, no respect, derogatory towards others, no self respect, being overwhelming and or annoying, hates animals/is rude to animals, can’t be independent, lazy

21. How was your day?

Good!

22. Favorite food and drink?

My favorite food is probably chicken or bacon cheeseburgers for meat, otherwise I love any sort of fruit. My favorite drink besides water (lol) is lemonade

23. What position do you sleep in?

Usually I sleep on my stomach or my side

24. What was your last dream about?

One of my friends’ sister was working at a Barnes and Nobel

25. Your fears?

Being betrayed, being lied to, everyone secretly hating me, being left alone, being forgotten

26. Your dream?

I want to be successful and happy with a good place to live and good friends

27. Your goals?

The same as my dream

28. Any pets?

Yeah, one cat named Sabrina

29. What are your hobbies?

Art, theater, band, choir, speech

30. Any cool places in your area?

I live in a small town, so there’s many unique things about it

31. What was your last awkward situation?

I was in the car at the local grocery store and someone I didn’t like parked next to me

32. What is your last regret?

My last relationship

33. Language(s) you can speak?

Only English, although I’m trying to learn sign language

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc. )

It’s very interesting so yes, I’d also like to learn more about it

35. Have any quirks?

I have synesthesia, the type where I can hear colors

36. Your pet peeves

Lazy people, people touching my stuff without permission, when someone keeps trying to talk to me while I’m listening to music, annoying loud people, obnoxious rude people, people who blurt things while someone else is trying to speak, people who think they’re better than everyone else, liars

37. Ideal vacation

Anywhere where whoever I’m with and I can do what we please whenever we please

38. Any scars?

A few from childhood and some more recent ones from self harm. I’m in a safer space and state of mind now, so there’s no need to worry

39. What does your last text message say?

I just signed up, did it work?

40. Last 5 things from your search history?

Marvel characters

Color block hoodie teddy fresh

Griz and Norm frozen

Everything I wanted lyrics

Kirishima shirt

41. What’s your device background?

42. What do you daydream about?

Movie/show scenes, memories, possible future outcomes, music

43. Describe your dream home

A house in the city with a bay window, an atrium, a claw foot bathtub, and a modern vintage look/feel, clean with nerdy decor

44. What’s your religion/thoughts on religion

I don’t have a religion because I don’t know much about it, but either way I don’t want to attend any holy services, because I’d like to prioritize other things. I do believe that everyone has their own rights to what they believe in, to me it’s like saying people should be able to eat, it’s common sense

45. You Personality type?

Campaigner personality ENFP - T

You can read about it on 16 personalities

46. Most dangerous thing you’ve done

When I was around 12 I flew with my brother alone on a plane

47. Are you happy with your current life?

For the most part yes

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life?

I’ve tried competitive dance, baking, hiking, and woodworking to name a few

49. What does your wardrobe consist of?

The usual stuff, t shirts, hoodies, jackets, sweaters, casual & fancy clothes, dresses, lots of shoes, jeans and leggings

50. Favorite color to wear

Yellow or blue

51. How would you describe your style?

Trendy nerd

52. Are you happy with your current looks?

Yeah mostly

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?

I want freckles lol

54. Any tattoos or piercings?

I have 4 lobe piercings, 2 on each side, and my left ear helix so 5 in total. I’m planning on getting many small tattoos and my septum pierced. Nothing drastic, all simple and small

55. Do you get complimented often?

Yes, almost every day with my hair and a lot with outfits

56. Favorite aesthetics?

Nature, vintage, character inspired

57. A popular trend that you dislike

There were these weird wavy eyebrows, not a fan 😂

58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with?

All of the Frozen 2 soundtrack, For The First Time in Forever and Let It Go from Frozen, Are You Bored Yet by Wallows, Amerika by Young the Giant, Maniac by Conan Gray, Come Around by Papa Roach, Same Damn Life by Seether, and Soarin by Bazzi

59. Song you wouldn’t normally admit you like?

I like mostly everything, so I would admit to liking mostly any song someone brings up

60. Favorite genre?

Pop or show tunes/ movie tunes

61. Favorite song/band/ genre?

My favorite song right now is a tie between Show Yourself and Into The Unknown from Frozen 2 or Are You Bored Yet by Wallows

62. Hated popular songs/artists?

6ix9ine, lil pump, artists like them

63. Put your music on shuffle & list first 5 songs

Prom Queen by Molly Kate Kestner

I’m Born to Run by American Authors

Holding on to You by Twenty One Pilots

Trip Switch by Nothing but Thieves

Swimming Pool Summer by Capital Cities

64. Can you sing/play any instruments?

I sing Soprano 1 and play Flute

65. Do you like karaoke?

Yeah!

66. Own any albums?

No vinyls or cassettes or DVD’s, it’s all on my Spotify lol

67. Do you listen to the radio? What stations?

I only listen to Spotify

68. Favorite movie/series?

My favorite movies are Frozen, Frozen 2, The Lion King, or any marvel movie past iron man lol

My favorite series are My Hero Academia, Voltron and friends

69. Favorite genre movies/ books/ etc.

Action, comedy, and fantasy

70. Your fictional crushes?

None lol

71. Which fictional character is you?

A mix of Elsa and Anna and Bakugou and Kirishima

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps if so

I don’t ship many things but I love Tododeku and Kiribaku

73. Favorite Greek god?

Apollo, Athena is my favorite goddess

74. A legend from where you live that you like?

There’s no legends where I live, but I like state legends like the legend of Paul Bunyan

75. Do you like art? What’s your favorite work or artist?

I like more modern artists, like ones on tumblr lol. These are a few artists I really like

@elentori-art @tecochet @cherriielle

76. Can you share your other social media?

I have Instagram, Twitter and the like but my Pinterest is maria_1820

77. Favorite youtubers

Colleen Ballinger, Joey Graceffa, Trainer Tips, David Dobrik, Molly Burke, Shane Dawson

78. Favorite platform

Everything but Facebook lol

79. How much time do you spend in the internet?

All of the time 😂

80. What video games have you played? Which ones your favorite?

I’ve played the sims and Mario kart and I like the sims more lol

81. Your favorite books?

We are the Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson and the My Hero Academia series

82. Do you play board/card games?

Not really

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema?

Nope

84. Favorite holiday?

Christmas

85. Are you into dramas?

Medical/police/firefighter dramas lol

86. Would you use death note if you had one?

I’d like to say no but I probably would

87. What changes would you make in the world no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?

I would have everyone have a good house and money

88. (There wasn’t a question here so I made one up)What was your first word?

Besides mama, my first word was eat

89. If you turned into a paranormal being, what would it be?

A Phoenix

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death?

I’d want my body donated to science

91. If you had to change your name what would you pick?

I like my name so I wouldn’t change it

92. Who would you switch lives with for a week?

Maybe a guy to see what it’s like

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo

🪐

94. Write 3 things about yourself + only one of them must be true

I love acrylic nails

I’ve never been on a train

I met Dan and Phil

95. Cold or hot?

Cold because I could put on a sweater

96. Be a hero or be a villain?

Hero

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?

Sing everything because I sometimes find rhyming annoying

98. Shape shifting or controlling time?

Shape shifting

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?

Immune to everything but natural death

100. Book or movie?

Both

[meggannn]

i'm curious from a writer perspective of DA, is the world set up similar to that of D&D (Humans, Elves, etc co-exist but who's king?). I've never played the game and was trying to figure out what the worldscope was like in terms of who's in charge, the history, etc but it's kind of complicated and hard to pin down. Would you mind giving a little insight into the premise of DA on a larger scale?

i’m sorry this took so long to get back to you! what a neat question – I haven’t played D&D or actually really read too many classic fantasies aside from some Tamora Pierce novels, so I can’t speak about what’s usual, but yeah Dragon Age is a pretty “standard” high fantasy I guess in the sense that it’s got dwarves and elves and magic and it’s set in a middle age analogue.

i also need to apologize in advance for how long this got. the short answer is, Thedas is a hot mess, everyone hates each other, and nobody knows what’s going on.

RACES

okay, so, there are four main races:

human – most populous and influential. known for causing a lot of wars.

elves – in most parts of the continent they’re second-class citizens. many are servants; in Tevinter elves are mostly enslaved. if they live in cities, they probably live in an alienage, which is akin to a ghetto. there are large groups of elves called the Dalish, which are nomadic groups that live in the forests and try to keep their ancient culture alive.

dwaves – mostly live underground, but there are several surface dwaves that, as the name implies, live aboveground. they’re the only race that cannot be mages due to their high resistance to magic, which is based on their history of mining lyrium (basically like a magic rock that helps mages and mage hunters focus their power). dwaves have a sort of resistance to it so they’re the only ones who can mine it safely and therefore built their economy and major cities underground.

qunari – technically a religion, not a race, but they’re known for their stringent religion and for having large horns on their head.

CONTINENT

DA is set in a world called Thedas (which literally stands for The Dragon Age Setting, don’t ever let anyone tell you your ideas are stupid). here’s the map, so, pretty big (click here for a bigger version):

unfortunately bioware is lazy and they never gave us firm borders, so we have to make due with whatever this is

POLITICAL NATIONS (skip if you don’t care)

I’m not an expert and don’t have the energy right now to go super in depth about each of these nations’ conflicts with each other. there are roughly 9 countries in the above map (bottom - up): Ferelden, Orlais, Free Marches, Nevarra, Tevinter, Antiva, Rivain, Anderfels, Seheron/Par Vollen. not pictured: Orzammar/the Dwarven Kingdom

Ferelden and Orlais are the countries we know the most about because two games take place there (Dragon Age Origins and Dragon Age Inquisition). They both have monarchies. Ferelden has a king/queen, and Orlais has an emperor/empress. Orlais is also where the Divine lives, and the Divine (always a she) is the leader of the Chantry, the major religion (p much like magic Catholicism).

The Free Marches are a bunch of city-states, each of them ruled by a Viscount that’s elected by the nobles. Dragon Age 2 takes place in one of these cities, Kirkwall. one of the endings involves the playable character, Hawke, become the Viscount/Viscountess if they make certain choices. Post-Inquisition, one of the game’s companions ends up becoming Viscount.

Nevarra we don’t know much about. I believe they have royal dynasties. most monarchs are related/entwined with the military. one companion, Cassandra Pentaghast, is distantly in line for the throne.

The Anderfels are a bit of a wasteland. it’s called a kingdom but I gotta be honest, we know like a total of five characters from there so not much else info is available. It used to be part of the Tenvinter Imperium before the rebellion, but now it’s mostly known as being home to the Grey Wardens (see below).

Antiva is a plutocracy, so it’s ruled by the wealthy. there is technically a monarchy that’s been around for a couple thousand years, but it’s weak. the country is mostly ruled by “merchant princes” (not literal princes, just like bank owners and heads of trading companies, each have their own army, etc). they mostly resolve political disputes with bribes and assassins.

Rivain – tbh I don’t think I know enough about Rivain’s government. we know certain characters from Rivain, but according to the wiki they emphasize community welfare and I know they treat their mages better than the rest of the continent, where (apart from Tevinter) mages are largely locked up in towers for their entire lives.

the Tevinter Imperium is the only nation in the continent that’s a magocracy, or ruled by mages, and its economy is largely based off of slave labor (the majority of whom are elves, though I think they enslave some humans if I’m not mistaken). Tevinter’s leaders are called Magisters, and they are all part of the Magisterium. they are led by the Imperial Archon, which is usually inherited; otherwise known as the Black Divine, who is always male (more on that below).

Seheron belonged to the Tevinter Imperium for a long time, but it’s land that I think is still being fought over by a group called the Qunari. they currently maintain it, though it’s mostly native rebels that live there.

Par Vollen is the land of the Qunari. they’re really a religion, not a race, but most Qunari that you’ll see are horned giants. we know a lot about their culture from certain characters, but we’ve never seen it in person. in broad sense, the Qunari believe that every person has a certain role (you call people by their titles, eg “Sten”). they’re led by an Arishok which is like their highest ranking general and de facto spiritual leader.

(not pictured) Orzammar – underground, located in the Frostback Mountains (bottom of the pic, left of Ferelden. the last standing dwarven city. it’s like an underground metropolis based on a caste system.

HISTORY

so I don’t know if you’re asking for a long and detailed history, because if so I could be here all day, but in very broad strokes, here’s what’s going down

Elves: long ago they were the dominant race aboveground. they had their own empire in modern-day south Orlais (west of Ferelden), but now they’re treated like second-class citizens after their biggest city fell and they were plundered by Tevinter. then the Chantry came along and that took over.

Dwaves: they also had a massive kingdom underground that spanned most of the continent. these tunnels are known as the Deep Roads, and they still exist today, but they’re mostly collapsing and very dangerous.

Humans: Are kind of running the show now across all major nations. (they apparently aren’t even native to Thedas but arrived millennia ago on boats or something then took over. typical.)

THE BLIGHTS

the driving force of a major recurring conflict in this land is called a Blight, and the first Blight was responsible for the collapse of the dwarven empire. there’s a lot we don’t know about what exactly happened in the first Blight, we only have the Chantry version, and a lot of ppl in the world disagree about how they really got started, or what they even are. but here’s what “the story” behind them roughly is:

the Chantry says that Blights are punishments that the Maker (God) sends because the old Tevinter Magisters, once upon a time, used magic to enter the Golden City (Heaven, sort of). mages can enter a place called the Fade, which is like the magical space between fiction and reality that most people only access through dreaming. the old Magisters basically wanted to enter the Golden City and claim the Maker’s throne and become all-powerful gods and whatnot.

however! this was a bad idea, and so for punishment (or maybe just as a consequence of contaminating the sacred heart of the fade with their dirty human germs), the Maker turned all of those Magisters into monstrous things known as “darkspawn.”

darkspawn are like mindless zombies, sort of, except their primary objective is killing, not eating. what makes them darkspawn is the infection and spread of their tainted blood.

so after those magisters became darkspawn, they spread anything they came into contact with. any species can become tainted I think.

darkspawn are scattered and disorganized for the most part but you still see them here and then. most of the time, darkspawn stay underground in the Deep Roads wrecking mayhem (this is what caused the fall of the dwarven empire).

what a Blight is, though, is a massive swarm of darkspawn arriving to the surface and basically doing what they do, amped up to level 11. what causes a blight is when darkspawn find an Old God underground. the “Old Gods” are really just sleeping high dragons. (Tevinter used to worship these dragons.) there are seven old gods, so when the darkspawn find another of them underground, they infect it, it awakens and turns nasty and evil, and becomes an Archdemon, which leads the call for darkspawn to attack the surface. Archdemons are the sort of Big Boss that needs to be defeated to end each Blight, after which the darkspawn simmer down for a while until they find the next one.

the plot of Dragon Age Origins is the story of the Fifth Blight, which takes place in 9:30 Dragon (read that exactly like you would without colons, so “Year 930″)

TIMEKEEPING

timelines are currently measured by Chantry ages. the years before 1:1 are called “Ancient,” count backwards, and are basically like our BC. there’s no Year 0. the Ancient Age had the arrival of humans, the fall of the elves and the dwarven empire, and the first blight.

according to the wiki: “In the 99th year of each Age, the Divine looks for an event or portent in order to determine the name of the new Age. the last portent was a dragon awakening and going on a rampage, which suggested an age full of violence and destruction”

so dragons are a Big Deal because until this century, people thought they were extinct. except no…. there’s a blight, and an archdemon showed up. and oh look, dragons are appearing in Kirkwall too, and around Orlais. dragons are a symbol of chaos, basically, so the fact that this era is known as the Dragon Age signifies a lot of fighting/turmoil basically.

THE GAMES

Dragon Age Origins – the story of the Fifth Blight. you gather a bunch of companions and join the Grey Wardens (soldiers from all races who dedicate their lives specifically to fighting darkspawn) and become Big Damn Heroes.

Dragon Age II – the story of origin of the Mage Rebellion. you play as Hawke, a refugee who escaped the Blight looking for safe haven in a city in the Free Marches. you befriend several misfits and influence the political landscape that ultimately leads to mages across Southern Thedas rebelling against their captors.

Dragon Age Inquisition – the Mage Rebellions are wrecking havoc, Grey Wardens are disappearing, and at a would-be peace summit between the mages and their captors, the Divine gets blown up and now there’s a giant hole in the sky with demons falling out. you play as a random joe who wakes up one day with the power to seal up that hole, and together with a bunch of other well-meaning randos, you form the Inquisition to bring peace (I hope) back to the continent.

Dragon Age 4 – fuck it, but I hope we go to Tevinter. I’m tired of looking at Ferelden for two games. it’s far past time for an elven slave uprising, an old elven god is now trying to commit mass genocide and Thedas is still on fire, but no, Bioware’s focusing on fucking Anthem. we are suffering.

[eldritchsurveys]

o84.

[[ Random Survey Questions // By @x-hallie-x ]] 1. When was the last time you comforted someone? How about the last time someone comforted you? >> I’m not sure what behaviour of mine qualifies as comforting someone. I’m not really the guy you go to for comfort, I’m the guy you go to for distraction. That’s the one thing I know how to do. The last time I was comforted was most likely in headspace.

2. Are you good at comforting others? What kinds of things do you do to try to cheer people up? >> Yeah, no. Not good at it at all. Probably has a lot to do with the fact that I don’t recall ever being comforted as a child, ever. (I guess that’s also how I learned to go to headspace for it, because meatspace was a straight-up disappointment in that regard.) I’m good at levity, though-- so if you want to laugh through the tears, I’m your Singularity.

3. When was the last time you experienced a major disappointment? How did you come back from this, if you did? >> I don’t remember.

4. When was the last question you were asked that you didn’t want to answer? >> I don’t remember this, either. It was probably in a survey, lmao.

5. When, if ever, are you most likely to lie about something? Have you ever been caught in one of these lies? >> I’m most likely to lie when the truth is particularly callous-sounding and I don’t feel like dealing with the fallout of telling the truth -- or, when telling the truth really isn’t all that important if it means being a dick. Example: an acquaintance asks if I like their artwork, and I actually don’t... I’m probably going to lie. Friends would hopefully know to make it clear whether they want my honest opinion or if they just want support and encouragement, but acquaintances usually aren’t on that level. Also, I’ve lied on government forms before, because our country is fucking broken. (I’ve not been caught in any of these sorts of lies.)

6. If you were to have a snack right now, what would you be hungry for? >> Considering the time of night, I’d probably just have one of those rice cake things or something.

7. When was the last time you asked for help and didn’t receive any? >> I don’t remember, particularly because this isn’t a common request from me.

8. Have you ever been in therapy? Are you now? Do you think you always will be, or do you think there will come a time when you don’t need it anymore? >> I’ve been in therapy numerous times, but I don’t have a therapist right now. At some point I’d like to actually have a productive therapy experience.

9. What is something you used to think positively about, but now regard in a negative light? How about the other way around? What caused your opinions to change? >> I’m not sure. I usually go from thinking about something in a negative light to thinking about it in a positive light to thinking about it in a balanced light. Or something like that. I used to be much more closed off to Christianity, for example, and then I tried to be Christian, and then I settled into my current perception (some shit is real fucked up in that religion but I’m still cool with that Yeshua bloke, real person or mythological being or whatever he might be). Time and experience are the general reasons why my opinions change.

10. What is the most dangerous thing you do on a regular basis? >> Drink. (I don’t know how “regularly” I do it anymore, since I’ve cut back pretty drastically, but even moderate drinking is damaging, so.)

11. When filling out surveys, are you likely to give a lot of details about your life or just skim the surface (assuming the questions are adequately thought-provoking)? What types of subjects do you avoid talking about in-depth? >> If I have an in-depth answer to give, I’ll give it -- but sometimes shit really does have a simple answer. Or, I’m just not invested enough in the question to be verbose about it. Also, if I’ve answered a question like it on another survey recently, I’m not often eager to repeat myself so soon.

12. Do you have a fantasy world inside your head? If so, what’s it like? Who lives there? What kinds of things do you imagine doing in this world? >> I have a paracosm that recognises me as demiurge, and it’s called Xibalba. Right now, Garth (Can Calah), Anthony (the Architect), Rustin (Yellow Prince), Björnsi (Vinter Noll), Vivek, Micolash, and Eden live here aside from me. There might be others floating around, considering how vast Xibalba is and how little time I spend actually traversing it, but who knows. A variety of things have happened in headspace, more things than can really be imagined (considering it’s existed in various forms since I was a child).

13. If you could be the best version of yourself instantly, or the version you wanted to be, what would that person be like? How does that person differ from who you are today? >> I don’t know that there is a “final” version of me. I understand myself as a being constantly in flux -- and that is a feature, not a bug, because an unchanging state is a dead state. So, really, there’s no best version of me, no ideal version of me, there’s just me, in all its varied complexity.

14. What is one area of your life that’s improved over the last year? How about one area that’s suffered or needs work? >> Well, my living situation improved in that our roommate situation was resolved and I inherited this room. Unfortunately, this cursed (probably literally) room is also an area of my life that needs work, lmao (at this point I’ve kind of given up on it, though, so whatever).

15. Do you find self-help books helpful? Are there any you’ve read or would recommend? >> I don’t read self-help books, so I don’t know if they’re helpful or not. The closest thing I’m likely to read is books on Zen or other forms of spirituality. I do find those helpful sometimes, mostly to get me thinking in different ways. Along that vein, I’d recommend Brad Warner, because he is a very modern and realistic sort of Zen teacher. I appreciate his no-bullshit approach and his sense of humour and his honesty about himself.

16. In what ways are you controlling? In what ways do you prefer to go with the flow? >> I'm not sure. A lot of the things I think I’m controlling about -- the way people interact with me, the state of my living space -- I actually end up being just as apathetic about. I think I just have a shutoff valve to keep my stress levels low -- if it looks like being a control freak about something is just going to do me more harm than good, I stop giving a fuck after a while. (The valve is about 90% effective. Sometimes shit gets through. But usually it works pretty well.)

17. Are you a perfectionist? Does this help or hinder you overall? >> I am not a perfectionist.

18. How often do you unfollow people? What generally causes you to unfollow someone? >> I don’t know, I do it so randomly and without any fanfare that I’m not sure how often it even happens. I’ll unfollow someone for anything from “I’m no longer interested in this content” to “they reblogged a post that annoyed me and I don’t care enough about their content to keep them on my dashboard” to “they haven’t posted in 2 months”. When you follow as many people as I do normally, any opportunity to prune your follow list is worth taking, tbh.

19. What were the results of the last test you took? >> Like, a test online? Because those are the only tests I take at this point in my life, lmao. I don’t remember the last one, though.

20. If you journal, what was the subject of your last journal entry? Did you feel better after writing it, or worse? >> I don’t really journal anymore. I just do these here survey things. The last time I posted in Dreamwidth was like, the beginning of this year, or some shit? I think it was a poetic sort of post about Björnsi, or Wednesday, or somebody. (Maybe it was the “I love a god” entry. I don’t remember and I’m too lazy to check.)

21. Have you ever taken care of a sick parent or relative? Was it a difficult experience or not so much? >> Nope.

22. Have you ever been in the hospital for an extended length of time? How did you deal with the experience? >> I’ve been in psychiatric wards and residential treatment centers for months before. I don’t really know how to explain how I dealt with it, because I kinda just... did. Like, there wasn’t really anything I could do about it, I was a minor and they could keep me as long as they wanted, so, like. (Also, at that time in my life, it’s not like being free was any better. At least the ward could be entertaining, and they let me listen to the radio sometimes.)

23. What does love mean to you, if anything? What about hatred? >> That’s way too heavy a question for me at this time of night. Suffice it to say that I don’t really know what it means to me, and if I’m honest, Can Calah is the best example of it that I have. (Not that other people are poor examples, but he’s the best one.) And I really don’t know jack shit about hatred. I’ve never hated anyone in my life.

24. Is there anything you’re trying to get better at? >> Yeah, I’m trying to get better at being a person. As usual. It’s a lifelong process, which is kinda funny, because you never actually find out if you get it right. You just kinda assume you do.

25. Generally, how many people do you interact with in a day? >> In meatspace, one. Online, a few. In headspace, two or three.

26. Is there anything you know a whole lot about (movies, music, mythology, etc)? How did you get into this thing in the first place? >> Mythology, probably, although “know” is a funny word since my level of scholarship isn’t exactly academic. I got into it by being alive, I guess -- it’s kind of unavoidable. Who do you know didn’t have a Greek or Egyptian mythology phase as a youngster? Mine is just lifelong. Aside from that, I actually don’t know how much I know about anything. I’m not a specialist or anything, I kinda just... know random shit. (Provided I remember it, pfft.)

27. What is something you like that you LOVE to share with others? What about something you like that you tend to keep to yourself? >> Everything, I guess. I like to share stuff. I’m with the Chris McCandless philosophy on this one.

28. When you choose a vacation destination, what kinds of things draw you to that place? >> I’ve never really... chosen a vacation destination. New Orleans is the only place I’ve chosen specifically, and that was because I was paying for the trip and that’s my favourite place in the world.

29. Do you have any unusual food habits? Has anyone ever commented on them? >> I don’t know. I don’t think so, but maybe to someone I do. No one really comments on how I eat, so I don’t have any data.

30. Who in your life do you talk to the most? How about the least? >> Can Calah, the most. I don’t know who I talk to the least... Elle, maybe? idk.

[vaedar]

Headcanons: Modern Valyrian Freehold

This will be a general description of my headcanon for the Valyrian Freehold in modern times. By this, it means I have incorporated the valyrian civilization into real life history ( say as the egyptians, greeks, romans, etc. ) while trying to maintain a little of the fantastical element. The result of this mix will be described here. Also important to remark that some of the descriptions may not fit all the laws of reality ( such as political, natural, social, etc. ) because of the fantasy element and GRRM himself has stated so when people try to give logical, realistic and scientific explanations to how the ASOIAF world works ( and since this is based still on ASOIAF world then it applies to this too ). These are my headcanons, in no way are they to be considered canon in the ASOIAF world nor do I intend on treating them as such; they are only to be used for the purpose of RP in this blog. This is a pretty long post but it’s easier for me to have it all in one place rather than divide it into multiple ones. More of my headcanons on all things Valyria can be found here.

General Description of the Valyrian Freehold

In the image shown here, I did a bad photoshopping of the Valyrian peninsula which is the country known as the Valyrian Freehold. Yes, I used a picture of a place in Greece that looks pretty similar to the shape of a canon shattered valyrian peninsula ( please ignore the greek names ) so I pretty much did a mix of how the peninsula was believed to have been before the Doom in canon with how it ended up after, and that is the result. The names shown are the main valyrian cities of the peninsula but that doesn't mean there aren't other smaller towns scattered all over the place too. Like in my headcanon of the geography, topography, etc. of canon Valyria, the peninsula is a mountainous area, full of cliffs and hills and valleys in between many of those.

Because of this, constructions of buildings and houses are usually vertical ones, being incorporated into the mountains themselves or on the edges and tops of them. It’s a common sight to see entire villages and towns in a vertical or diagonal position down a hill or mountain. Even modern buildings, like those shown in one of the pictures, are built into those elevations. The city itself is located in a wide valley between mountains ( similar though not in the stretched out way that is shown in the picture above ). The pretty white sand beaches are mostly concentrated on the southern side while there are smaller, settled between high coastal cliffs, red and black sand beaches on both east and west. The Fourteen Flames are located in the northern part of the peninsula, and they are active, with small, individual eruptions sometimes taking usually between every seventy or two hundred years.

Here, you have a little design of how I have the capital city Valyria be set out. The main circle is where the governance of the country takes place, where the ruling families and the freeholders meet to discuss valyrian politics pretty much. The center circle though is the one palace that survived and was rebuilt from ancient times. Though tourists can access certain public areas of the massive tower like building, the rest is restricted only to valyrian freeholders, with only the members of the ruling families having complete access ( think of it as the Vatican in Rome ). The circle outside, with the line divisions, is where the residences of those families are, though many of them don't actually live there all the time but rather are traveling to the different valyrian cities to manage and supervise the rest of their properties and businesses. The blue circle outside is water or an artificial canal with the green circle behind it being the biggest park of the city ( there are other parks around, just in case ). That circular area is known as the Uēpa Oktion or Old City, and also as the Historical District, where lots of tourists visit every day. The rest of the outline are known as municipalities, with their own powers of self-governance in their jurisdiction, to the extent granted by the national valyrian government. And as you can see, the names of the municipalities are the names of the present ASOIAF timeline Free Cities plus the lost Free City of Essaria. The rest of the grey and white areas are also part of the jurisdictions of those municipalities but I was too lazy to properly divide them. Keep in mind that though the drawing/design seems small, Valyria is a pretty big city and so these locations are quite big as well.

The modern Valyrian Road that goes right through the center of the city was built almost right next to where the ancient road and bridges were. People transiting the road can even see the ruins of the old road in certain parts. The Valyrian Road is the main connection between the valyrian cities but there are many other smaller ones that lead to the mountain villages and towns scattered around the peninsula. Along with the towns and villages, all sorts of ruins of Old Valyria also remain and are preserved by the native peoples themselves, with museums holding exhibitions for visitors, the biggest one being the Museum of the Doom in the city of Tyria, the closest to the Fourteen Flames. 

As for the people themselves, the Valyrian Freehold is a country with a diverse ethnicity mix thanks to the rather welcoming migration policy of the country. Though non valyrians who rise to success and get to own land properties and or businesses of their own that contribute to the economy of the country do get to have a say in its governance ( as is the unique Freehold form of government ), they are not allowed into the restricted areas of the Old City. Neither can they purchase property in the area of the valyrian residences of the ruling families. These families of old valyrian ancestry, though having equal political standing amongst the rest of the freeholders ( a title given to owners of property, businesses, companies, etc. ), do have a higher social status in the country's society ( practically nobility by the standards of monarchic countries ). It's them who most commonly portray the classic valyrian physical traits ( the platinum-blond hair, violet eyes, pale skin, etc. ) but other individuals not belonging to these families also posses a few or all of these traits.

With such a welcoming migration policy however, law enforcement does have to be strict and effective both to keep the peace and safety of the people. The police force is a branch of the military dedicated to civilian duty, but it's common for military men of other branches to accompany police in rounds. They have been both praised and criticized for how severe some of the laws might seem to be in the eyes of the other countries, as even death penalty is a lawful punishment for the highest of crimes, which is deliberate murder ( unless it was on self defense, which is only required to go through therapy for several weeks ).

Education plays an essential role in the valyrian civilization, both cultural and social as its in school that the ideal of respect, tolerance and acceptance is taught. Any teachers who do not follow this are forbidden from teaching at all. Through this approach of using education to impart ( in what valyrians think to be correct ) moral teachings, it does help in raising a society with a more mature perspective in social problems such as racism, oppression and rights. But it also breeds a sense of social superiority, where the people that follow these teachings and ideals see themselves as a more modern and advanced society over those who let things like religion, sexual preferences, political views and the like dictate their lives; instead of seeing it as merely a different cultural standing. It's one of the many reasons of why the valyrian civilization is both admired and judged through out the world.

I think this covers the general more important points of the headcanon related to the modern valyrian civilization.

History

This part I will try to describe it as a sort of wikipedia entry or something, because it's easier that way, I think. I will try to keep it general. Things regarding the ancient valyrians ( politics, culture, society, etc. ) are still pretty much the same headcanon that I described over here so I won't go into specifics there. Some real life dates and events are altered but I will not go into specifics on those either, I want to try and keep it pretty general, enough to simply have an understanding or a base for my headcanon in a world where the valyrian civilization existed in ancient history, and how it evolved into a modern one. To make it easier, have in mind that I've pretty much interchangeably applied some events of the ancient roman civilization to a valyrian civilization so the events that transpired in ancient rome ( the wars, for example ) could be pretty much the same ( though in a little different timeline ), and the location of the valyrian peninsula is in the real life location of the italian peninsula ( let's imagine there's enough space for another peninsula there ). The roman and valyrian civilizations in terms of its history will be pretty similar.

The ancient origins of the Valyrian civilization is an uncertain one, shrouded in speculations and myths. A great part of its history was destroyed in a series of cataclysmic events known as the Doom of Valyria. Historians are still debating on its foundation as an established civilization but evidence of settlements and inhabitants existing as early as around 3000 BC has been found.

According to Valyrian lore itself, these first settlers were once ‘simple sheep herding people that learned to harness’ the riches found in the largest, still existing, chain of volcanoes in the world, named by them as 'Se izula ampā perzyssy’ or The Fourteen Flames. It’s yet unclear the implication in which the word is used; some attribute it to an acquired, and by many considered, mythical skill and knowledge of how to tame and utilize the thermal energy of the volcanoes. Others, more inclined to following archeological evidence rather than ancient lore, believe that the key to the birth of the valyrian civilization was their mastery of forging metals of all kinds, specifically the famous and unique Valyrian steel. Another far more mythical recount tells of how these people discovered eggs in the Fourteen Flames, which would later hatch into dragons. These are the same that insist on supporting the existence of these creatures based on the undeniable evidence that several ancient civilizations seemed to believe in them or were witness to the existence of the beasts. Regardless of how the true origins of the Valyrian civilization came to be, dragons have been used by them as a representative symbol since the dawn of their civilization, a practice that remains to this day.

Thanks to the rich soil and rather pleasant mediterranean climate in which the Valyrian peninsula is located, civilization flourished. Their capital city Valyrīha or Valyria, was also the given name by which the valyrians and the rest of the world would come to know them. For long years however, as long as 1,000 or more, the valyrians did not expand their borders beyond that of the peninsula, only conquering other smaller cities established by neighboring civilizations ( such as some greek settlements ) but they did defend it well against those who tried to invade. Instead, they opted for trading, soon enough becoming an important supplier of precious metals like gold and silver as well as other sought out riches. But other than these materials, the valyrians were and still are well known for the production of excellent wine. It’s through these trading relations that their own culture was enriched, sharing and influencing in the discoveries, knowledge and religions of other civilizations like the greeks, egyptians, assyrians, babylonians, minoans, chinese, the later on romans and so on.

The thriving civilization attracted the attention of potential enemies, most particularly the phoenicians, who were also known for their concentrations of hacksilver, being one of the main suppliers. To them, the valyrians were competition and after a conflict in one of the phoenician trade routes with valyrian merchants, war soon followed. As a result, the phoenician power and influence was reduced through out the years with each battle fought between the two, until its last remnants of the phoenician culture and civilization in Carthage was destroyed in the Punic Wars by a later Rome. Valyrian influence was greatly expanded, until the rise of Macedon with Phillip II with whom the valyrians would form prosperous trading and even military relations that would remain until the fall of Valyria with the Doom.

The event that ushered the almost total destruction of this great and ancient civilization is well recorded through out the histories of neighboring peoples, inspiring many works of fiction both old and modern. Archeological evidence points to massive eruptions in the valyrian peninsula's chain of volcanic mountains, an event preceded by frequent earthquakes, both strong and minor ones but the seismic activity was at some times felt as far off as the island of Crete and the North African coast. In the aftermath of the destruction, a great part of the landmass that united the peninsula with the rest of the continent was flooded by the sea, further isolating Valyria—but the eruptions also affected the Mediterranean climate for years. For centuries, the only known survivors of the cataclysm were those who migrated to other locations through out the Mediterranean Sea and beyond, as it was believed that valyrian cities in the peninsula were obliterated by the disaster. Not even the neighboring and newly founded Roman Empire was capable of claiming the valyrian land from the grasp of the Doom. However, thanks to still uncertain and highly debated explanations that—like the valyrian origins—are often victim to mythological and fantastical beliefs, few native valyrians did survive the Doom within the peninsula. The most compelling evidence attributes the superior—and in ancient times, unique—quality of valyrian edification that sheltered the survivors in the southern most part of the land, including the capital city itself. Those closest to the mountains though were completely destroyed or buried beneath volcanic ash. The Museum of the Doom in the modern city of Tyria features ongoing excavations of its remains to the visitors, and is considered one of the best conserved sites of ancient disasters in the world.

As the rest of the European countries fell in a period of economical, cultural and social stagnation, known as the Middle Ages, the remains of the valyrian peninsula were left in obscurity until the High Middle Ages. By this time, european population swelled and with urbanization and a change in political and social structures, the first renaissance of the medieval period known as the Carolingian Renaissance took place. This brought an increase of literature, writing and arts, and knowledge of older times was revived, including that of the valyrian civilization. Though there was much fear and superstition in these times, and the Doom was believed to have been a punishment from God, there were few explorers and adventurers that dared defy the warnings of venturing into the dangerous land of the valyrian peninsula. One of them was a descendent of Aenar Targaryen, a wealthy valyrian merchant lord that had migrated from Valyria before its destruction. Along with his sisters—whom he was said to have been married to following the old valyrian traditions that his family conserved—Aegon Targaryen was one of the individuals that rediscovered the then partially ruined city of his ancestors.

With the arrival of these adventurers and explorers, the ultimate fate of total destruction and loss of the valyrian culture and peoples were proven wrong. Much like how the Doom was believed to be a divine punishment, the survival was also somehow attributed to divine miracle—or dark magic. It ushered a renewed interest in Valyria and attracted those brave or desperate enough to follow in the decision of returning to the lost city in order to rebuild, and start a new life. The majority of the settlers were actually of valyrian descent though, as the rest of europeans were mostly skeptical of abandoning their growing and stabilizing kingdoms for a foreign and—some would even accuse—unholy land. Christianity was at its peak, and the Catholic Church condemned those who opted for abandoning their christian kingdoms for a pagan people. This proved to be beneficial for the almost extinct valyrian culture, as the peninsula was still isolated enough—the land connecting the rest of the peninsula still partially under water—to prevent both mass immigration and invasions, allowing an almost uninterrupted rebirth or cultural renaissance.

The first challenge for the revived civilization came in the Late Middle Ages, when severe weather affected northern Europe, reaching as far as the southern valyrian peninsula—though less in its intensity. Contrary to the european kingdoms, Valyria and its cities were not densely populated and the resulting deaths from the period of famine due to the failed production of crops, and plague contagion were far less. Recovery was also an easier and swifter one, and with it came a new age of Renaissance, accelerated by the immigration of scholars to the west—particularly to Italy and Valyria—and other peoples from the Byzantine Empire when its capital, Constantinople, was captured by the Ottoman Turks.

As in times of antiquity—or of Old Valyria as the ancient civilization before the Doom was being referred to—The valyrians re-established the same form of governance known as a Freehold, very similar to the greek city-states but all were assigned an elected official called an archon as a temporary leader of said valrian city. Because of this, the valyrian peninsula was officially named the Valyrian Freehold and so was recognized as a country, with the city of Valyria serving as the capital from where the main acts of governance, such as elections of archons, took place. As a Freehold, all those who owned land and contributed to the country's development had a say in the governance in the capital, and the archons in the rest of the cities served as the communicators of their respective city's needs, as well as a representative of the capital's governance. The one practice that was eliminated entirely was slavery but in the rest of matters, valyrians insisted on preserving what little remained of their ancient pre-Doom civilization—like the series of roads connecting the main cities in the peninsula, and it's old palaces. It absorbed the religions and cultures of immigrants while conserving its own, never promoting one over the other, which served to maintain a balance and control of whatever conflicts marginalization could provoke—but they imposed their native language of High Valyrian onto the immigrants—which with time prompted the development of dialects. It became a haven for those seeking religious sanctuary and a beacon for scholars to develop their studies without religious or political repercussions.

With the passing of the centuries into the modern era, the discovery of new lands, the growth of power and influence in the european countries over the rest of the world, produced new conflicts, giving rise to World War I and World War II. Though it was an almost failed task, the Valyrian Freehold was one of the countries capable of maintaining a neutral position in both wars, so as to protect its international interests with both sides, but it was not unaffected by the conflicts. The second World War was the most challenging, as Axis forces did attempt on a couple of occasions to invade the country but the Valyrian Freehold was able of defending its borders, though not without the loss of structures and deaths as a result from the bombarding. Regardless of these events, the country continued to be one of the main suppliers of precious metals. Valyrian forces shot down both Axis and Allied planes a couple of times when they invaded valyrian air space, quite similar to how Switzerland had also done in their adopted position of neutrality. It was also, along with Sweden, a refuge for Jewish peoples through out the region. When the war was done, valyrian workers such as architects and engineers traveled abroad to assist in the reconstruction efforts of the countries involved in the war.

Through out its existence, the valyrian civilization has influenced and contributed both directly and indirectly in human history—for the better or worst. Its culture, similar to other ancient civilizations both in the Americas and Asia, have lingering echoes of their antiquity. Though by now the valyrians have been heavily influenced by the wide variety of ethnic groups that immigrated through out the centuries into the peninsula, there are still many individuals that show the particular and unique traits by which native valyrians are commonly recognized; fair skin, platinum-blond hair and the coloring of their eyes with different shades of violet—like lilac, purple, indigo and even clear blue.

The current day Valyrian Freehold is considered a socially and technologically advanced civilization of the modern world, whilst preserving to the best extent their ancestral origins, shrouded in a veil of mystery and mysticism. Even now, many believe that the ruling families hold jealously guarded secrets within their Uēpa Oktion or Old City, which only they have complete access to. There are talks of internal turmoil between these families as well. But even these theories, myths and rumors do not prevent tourists from flooding the capital and its neighboring cities, attracted to and fascinated by the rich culture, nor people from immigrating into the country in search of a better future. Some will succeed. Others will realize the 'Valyrian Dream' might just be closer to a nightmare.

Conclusion

This description of my headcanon is pretty much my messy attempt to mix some of the canon valyrian story in the ASOIAF world with a modern verse to be used in interactions where a little bit of a fictional twist can be added. I remark that many of the events I generally described do not really coincide with real life historical facts since the timelines have been slightly altered to better fit the a valyrian civilization into a fictional modern verse based on real modern life. Since I like to give my partners the best understanding possible, then I decided to give a 'historic' backstory to the Valyrian Dream modern verse. Basically, the way the modern capital of the Valyrian Freehold works is similar to current day Rome and Vatican City, where the vatican would be the Old City or Uēpa Oktion and the rest of Valyria is Rome. I want it to have the same conspiracy theories and rumors of secrecy and all that the Vatican has too, so I think it's a perfect example to use.

Initially, I wanted to eliminate altogether the roman civilization but it would've been too complicated to do that properly so I decided to keep Italy and just add the valyrian peninsula right next to the italian one. As for the timeline, valyrians as a civilization are older than the romans, the Doom happening just when the Roman Republic transitioned into the Roman Empire, so for all those years even after the fall of the roman empire, Valyria was pretty much in the dark, until it was rediscovered by explorers. Of course, I had to have Aegon involved somehow and thought this to be the perfect chance but it's important to remark that Aegon wasn't the only explorer to whom the credit of the rediscovery falls on. The world wars were a tricky one so it's easier to just keep Valyria a neutral country to not complicate or change things more than needed, and it would also be something pretty in accordance with my headcanon of Valyria in the ASOIAF world. But of course, keep in mind that any of these events can be changed as needed for the sake of RP interactions so any questions or doubts are always welcomed!

Remember, more of my headcanons on all things Valyria can be found over here, and the pictures used in this post can be found on my Valyria board on pinterest.

[swipestream]

My Little Pony: Beyond Good and Evil

This is a guest post written by Alex Stump:

My two little brothers have been watching My Little Pony for a long time now. I watched a couple episodes (and also the unholy spin-off series Equestria Girls) and I’ll be 100% honest…My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is a really good show. But don’t get the wrong idea, I’m not coming out as a Brony. I, as an 18-year-old man have better things to do then obsessing over a show made for seven year olds. Which really fascinates me, what is it about this kid’s series that attracts so many young adults? It’s a question that has been going around since the show premiered and the most widely accepted questions/theories I’ve seen are:

A) People like MLP for the same reason people like Star Trek or Firefly.

B) These people had terrible childhoods and they watch MLP to experience the childhood they never had.

C) These people had awesome childhoods and watch MLP because it gives them a sense of nostalgia.

And D) People watch MLP because they’re mentally handicapped.

These answers have some truth to them but I find them to be mostly flawed…So how about I give you my own answer to the question. Sure, everyone has his or her own reason for watching, but I think there’s a unifying reason why. You see I believe the reason why MLP is so popular and why it stands out in the entertainment industry is because the show has a “thing”.

What is this “thing” you ask? Well, this “thing” is very important to fiction. It goes all the way back to ancient times. It was prevalent in the 20th century but sadly is being abused and forgotten in the 21st century. Let me give you some examples:

(Example 1) The Adventures of Robin Hood is a 1938 film staring Errol Flynn and tells the tale of Robin Hood and his merry men. This movie has great action scenes,

good acting, amazing sets, and is quite possibly the happiest go lucky movie I’ve ever seen. Seriously, this film is so happy I dare you to watch it without smiling. Robin and his merry men are tons of fun to watch. They’re funny, smart and most of all virtuous. The women are great too, they’re modest, beautiful and don’t complain about the traditional family structure. Just about every character in the film has an enjoyable personality. We see medieval society portrayed in a mostly positive light, which is nice to see. Even religion gets a good light and in the end everyone lives happily ever after.

The movie’s really good; it’s a beloved classic for a reason. (Seriously, this movie’s good. If you haven’t watched it already, WATCH IT!!!)

Now let’s talk about the 2010 Robin Hood movie directed by Ridley Scott.  This film isn’t what you’ll call happy.  Robin Hood is not a righteous nobleman but a lying criminal who desserts the holy crusade and fights the evil stereotypical French. The women are awful, the church and medieval society are both portrayed in a negative light and the rest of the movie is just dark, gritty and forgettable. Guess what? The movie wasn’t well received, with critics like Roger Ebert calling the movie “innocence and joy draining away from movies.” Now there’s a new Robin Hood movie coming out this year and apparently it’s yet another dark and gritty take on the Robin Hood story. Just what the masses wanted, am I right? (Example 2) Superman! Who doesn’t know the man of steel? He is the most well known superhero in the DCU. His origin story’s an all-time classic; he is a common role model for kids and adults, his sidekicks and super villains are good. Most importantly, he saves kittens stuck on trees. Even if you don’t like Superman, nobody can deny the cultural significance he has all over the world. He is more then just a superhero, he is the superhero…In the new Superman movies however, and he is anything but a superhero. In the DC cinematic multiverse, Superman’s a nihilist, he fails to save people, kills his enemies, and lets his emotions get the better of him. He treats his life as a superhero not as a duty, but a curse. When Superman (spoiler alert!) dies in Batman v Superman nobody gives an anti-life equation, because that guy on screen is not the man who has everything. What happened to the Superman?

(Final Example): Star Wars is one of the greatest space operas ever made. A movie with amazing characters, a classic story and groundbreaking special effects. They’re movies that pay homage to Akira Kurosawa and the serials from the 30s and 40s. A story that borrows from East Asian philosophy and the archetypes of Joseph Campbell. A story with a great amount of historical symbolism, ranging from WW2, the French Revolution and the Roman Empire. Yet with all of the complexity and metaphor, the original Star Wars trilogy (and to some extent the prequels) is nothing more than simple kids movies…the new films by Disney I wouldn’t call simple. The new movies lazily rehash the plots from the original films but without the symbolism and archetypes. The new heroes are either too perfect or too flawed, there’s pretty obvious political messages floating around and all the original characters we know and love have forgotten everything they learned from Jedi and they all die. Don’t complain though, because filmmaker JJ Abrams will call you sexist for not liking the movies. (It makes you wonder what goes on behind the scenes.)

So, what exactly is this “thing” that My Little Pony, Star Wars, Robin Hood, and Superman have in common that their modern day remakes and sequels lack?

Heroism. No, really. Heroism or just simply, the heroic character is the most common archetype in storytelling and the most important. People naturally draw themselves towards heroes because they represent some kind of greater good, whether it be, faith, bravery, hope, charity and yes…friendship. When done correctly, the heroic character becomes a timeless icon. I mean look at my examples again. Superman is good not because of his superpowers but because of his character. Superman’s an immigrant, a stranger who uses his alien powers to help others. He stands for truth, justice, and the American way. No matter how bad the situation is, he never kills people. (For more on this subject, watch the animated movie Superman vs. the Elite or read the comic book it’s based on.)

Robin Hood (from The Adventures of Robin Hood) is a great character not just for his romantic, charismatic personality but also for what he’s fighting for. He fights an illegitimate authority and wants to return King Richard back to the throne of England. He believes him to be the rightful king, and he will sacrifice everything in order to get him back. Robin Hood knows he’ll bring a good, just government to England.

And Star Wars is a classic tale of good defeating evil, growing up into adulthood, redemption, and a tale of low-lifes becoming great heroes. Let’s look at Han Solo for a minute. Sure people talk about how cool Han Solo is like how he shot-first but in my opinion that’s not what makes him an amazing character. In the beginning of A New Hope, he’s a jerk to Luke. He doesn’t believe in the Force. He’s not a man of honor and only cares about money. However he slowly starts to care about Luke and Leia and discovers faith in the Force and after going through so much trouble and getting everything he wanted. He comes backs to save Luke, allowing him to destroy the Death Star. Despite not being a man of the book he is still a hero inside. Which if you really think about the real hero in the original trilogy it is Han, not Luke.

People look up to these heroes because they inspire us. Not to put on capes, overwears and conduct vigilantism, no, but to never give up hope, to always take up virtue and to know that good always triumphs…which really lacks in modern day entertainment. A lot of modern storytellers don’t understand heroism and don’t know why it’s so important to many classics. The new Superman movies suck because they don’t have any of Superman’s trademark heroism. Like I said, he kills the bad guys, he fails to save people and loses control of his emotions. That’s not a hero. The new Star Wars movies suck because all of the new characters are these god-like Neanderthals who have no reliability��that made the original characters great. No all of them are sad old people who don’t learn anything. In fact, many remakes and sequels of classic stories are sad in tone when their originals were not-why is this? Well we all know why, it’s all because of the postmodern viewpoint that heroism is a fantasy and in real life everything that makes a hero doesn’t exist. Such a worldview is really bad and it shows in many original stories today. I mean look around you, fiction’s so dark it’s become commonplace for a piece of entertainment to take place in a post-apocalyptic world or dystopia where all authority is bad, all hope is lost, God doesn’t exist and the only thing that’s metaphysical is politics. There aren’t any heroes, only cynical, morally ambiguous, deeply flawed characters with little to no sympathy.  When the day is saved and the bad guy is defeated it usually ends on a very bitter note like nothing was every achieved. Does that sound entertaining to you?

Plus, when you get right down to it, a lot of these stories are shockingly bad. Many fields of entertainment aren’t being made by talented people but by executives who only care about money. Their writing is lazy, quality over substance, completely mindless with characters that are either one dimensional to two-dimensional, which writers try to hide it by making them inherently flawed. Now an inherently flawed characters is perfectly normal as long is there’s some sort of payoff or balance, However tons of writers today fail on both, causing audiences to feel alienated from the protagonist because the story literally gave them reasons not care about his or her struggles. Mix that all up with a problematic imagination and an unsubtle political agenda and you get a match made in limbo. Again, a lot of these problems come from this false interpretation of heroes not being real. Of course heroes are real. Anyone can be a hero. We enjoy fictional heroes because they remind us that good exist; If there is no hero, then there’s no value, if there’s no value then people don’t care and if people don’t care then the story is forgotten and then lost in time. I know every story can be different In form but the most popular formula is about heroes saving the day which is being desecrated in the modern era…

However-and I can’t believe I’m about to say this (or write this) My Little Pony is the exception. In the show, heroism isn’t ignored or perverse but accepted. The characters do heroic acts and they’re celebrated for it. Almost every character is nice, trustworthy and never cynical or morally ambiguous. The world they inhabit isn’t nasty, but a beautiful place, one that’ll make you wish you lived there. The show promotes many positive messages with a huge focus on friendship being the best ever, and no matter how dark the show gets (and believe me the show can get surprisingly dark at times) none of the heroes give up hope and they all lives happily ever after.

Plus, the show is well made. It’s not created by greedy executives but by talented people who’ve been working on cartoons for decades. The dialogue is funny, most of the episodes are smart, the characters are well-developed, the music and animation is surprisingly great and the show’s smart enough to not go P.C. Compare this to other television shows like The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Big Bang Theory, The Handmaids Tale and every show on the CW, MLP is one of the few TV shows that’s actually good. Wouldn’t you agree?

I think the reason why so many young adults watch MLP is because many of them are so tired and fed up with how much fiction has merged with postmodernism and choose to watch this simple kids show, Not only for being smart and entertaining, but also celebrating something many of them haven’t seen in a long time…and that’s a story of good people doing good things…But hey, that’s just a theory! A game-wait a minute? What’d you guys think? Was my theory on the brony phenomenon absolutely right, absolutely wrong or was it missing a couple of points?

  My Little Pony: Beyond Good and Evil published first on https://medium.com/@ReloadedPCGames

[hutcho33-blog]

The Ten Greatest Kanye West Songs Of All Time

Today is Kanye West’s 40th birthday and rather than get Kanye a cake or a pair of extremely expensive sneakers, we here at Boss Hunting decided to celebrate Kanye in the only way we know how, by assessing the greatness of his music.

Don’t expect any mention of that weird Nike diss track or whatever “I am a God” was. No we’re gonna be focusing on the greatness of Kanye. Of course this is only one list and we can’t possibly do every great track justice, but here’s what we ended up with.

Honourable Mentions: Famous, Waves, Lost in the World, Stronger, FourFive Seconds, N***as in Paris, Heartless, I Love Kanye.

Lost in the World, FourFive Seconds and N***as in Paris all get disqualified from the list on the basis that they can’t be entirely classified as ‘Kanye’ songs. Although his collab with Jay-Z is still very much in his style, all of the songs in the top ten come from places that are very recognisably Kanye. Famous gets a mention not only for being a good track, but also for the impact it made on the pop-culture world.

Waves is also an underrated banger, although some of us would’ve liked the final version to sound like how it was initially pitched by Chance the Rapper. Heartless and Stronger also get a mention due to it’s noritory amongst more casual fans of Kanye. I Love Kanye is the best skit on any of his albums and is on here for one reason. It’s funny. It’s quirky. It’s so Kanye.

This section alone could warrant it’s own tribute, with Kanye producing great songs far beyond a ten count. However, here is a carefully considered and likely highly controversial list of the top 10 Kanye West tracks of all time.

10 – Gold Digger → Late Registration (2005)

Possibly Kanye’s most widely popular song, ‘Gold Digger’ became a permanent fixture in clubs around the world due to its eccentric vibe and fun flavour. One should be careful however to fully discount the quality of the track. Even the first thirty seconds are packed with sounds that defined an era in music.

Jamie Foxx’s voice in this track is iconic, leading to a hard breakdown and the introduction of one of the most famous hooks in all of hip-hop.  “I ain’t sayin she a gold digger/ but she ain’t mess’n with no broke n****s” is one of the most recognisable hooks in the modern era of hip hop.

The beat stays consistently upbeat, forcing even the most fridget of listeners to at least tap a foot or bob a head. The song reaches out of the bounds of just the rap game and has the widespread pop appeal that few rap songs were able to have before that time.

While Kanye brings the lyrical heat, there are songs that are significantly more intriguing in manner senses. While this song has gained international popularity and acclaim due to it’s accessible greatness, it fails in some respects to do justice to the type of work Kanye is capable of. For this reason, a ranking in the top ten is more than enough to recognise Kanye’s most famous track.

9 – Love Lockdown → 808s and Heartbreaks (2008)

Ah so we come to the heartbreaking love ballad. A story about the conflict between fame and love. The lyrics of this song are less of a concern here, as nothing blows you away in this regard. No immaculate or majestic stage is set by anything that the vocals say. What makes this song so great is that it relies entirely on the way that the instrumentals work so beautifully together to provoke such deep feelings on the listener’s part.

Rather it’s the slow burn and build that transpires throughout the song. The deep bass drums that belt out from the beginning are so deep it feels like someone is drumming your soul. You can just focus on those drums tapping in your chest. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. It’s the consistent beat that dominates the song and helps define it. Slowly Kanye adds layers of instruments on top, slowly, until one is totally submerged in the very simple message of Kanye’s heartbreak.

Then the outro. No spoken word just a deep forest sounds that build the song to it’s final climax before being striped away to that all too familiar beat from the intro.

8 – Jesus Walks → College Dropout (2004)

Young Kanye lays down some bars in this one. The whole song relies almost entirely on two pillars.

The first, the context to religion and christianity. This shows in the overall tone of the track, with the back up vocals all having a distinct church group style. This juxtaposed with the preaching manner in which Kanye is actually rapping creates a sense that you’re engulfed in a sermon on the Mount of Yeezus.

The second is Kanye coming at everybody trying to make a name for himself.

“You know what the Midwest is? Young and restless

Where restless (niggas) might snatch your necklace

And next these (niggas) might jack your Lexus

Somebody tell these (niggas) who Kanye West is.”

It’s worth noting this is off Kanye’s first album. He’s basically introducing himself to the audience that tells them one very clear message. My name is Kanye, I’m from the city of Chicago and I’m a badass.

7 – Black Skinhead→ Yeezus (2013)

Gritty Kanye is a good Kanye.

This is Kanye’s best gritty song. When the career retrospective is written on Kanye West it’ll say many a thing. It’ll recount a polarising relationship with she who shall not be named, a beef with Taylor Swift and most prominently of all it will mention that Kanye pioneered a style that was adopted by rappers like Chance.

However this is the black box for Kanye’s influence on a harder and more experimental form of rap music.

As he mentions in the song about going 500mph and being out of control. It’s a direct fuck you to everyone on the outside. The public, the media, the scrutiny, all of it.

It’s the Kardashian era Kanye mission statement. I’m going to do whatever I want to do, make whatever music I want and do it whenever I want to do it.

6 – Hey Mama → Late Registration (2005)

This is some great early Kanye. Just simple story telling over a cool beat with some fun lyricism. It’s the kind of song you play when you’re just hanging out with your friends on a lazy Sunday afternoon enjoying the sunshine.

There’s not a lot to hate about this song. It’s an upbeat tribute from a wildly successful son to the mother that helped him on his road to stardom. Even hook is loveable.

“(Hey Mama), I wanna scream so loud for you, cause I’m so proud of you

Let me tell you what I’m about to do, (Hey Mama)

I know I act a fool but, I promise you I’m goin back to school

I appreciate what you allowed for me

I just want you to be proud of me (Hey Mama)”

Deep down inside we all wish we could just straight up shout out our awesome mothers in song and actually pull it off. So for being a fun, well constructed and never boring display by a loud and proud mama’s boy, Hey Mama pulls a sweet sixth spot.

5 – Blood On Leaves → Yeezus (2013)

Blood on Leaves is dark, hard and gritty.

The sample of Nina Simone’s ‘Strange Fruit’ over piano keys to intro the song immediately catches attention before Kanye is even able to spit a line. The repetition of the phrase “blood on leaves” is a staple of the track, and if one wants to truly appreciate the depth of this song, they should check out the original song itself.

This is one of Kanye’s more undeniably provocative tracks. From referencing lynchings in the south during the late 1800s to calling out Instagram frauds, Kanye covers a very broad range of sensitive social issues whilst remaining aggressive throughout. The use of the song ‘Strange Fruit’ as a sample holds a lot of weight in this sense politically. It’s not trying to be a party banger, nor is it a song built for the radio. It’s a track that’s meant to make you think about the world. Usually when artists (and Kanye is guilty of this too) try and do this kind of commentary, they can miss the point entirely, seeming to lecture more than provoke.

This is not the case with Blood on Leaves.

4 – Dark Fantasy → My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010)

Doing this list, however you cut it, teaches you something. Kanye has made some really fucking great music in his career.

With that explicitly stated, we have Dark Fantasy. The fact is that this ranking might not do this song justice. It has all the great aspects of an all-time great Kanye track.

The intro feels like a kids story turned dark right at the end. The hook is amazingly done, providing insight into the way Ye sees himself. The top, better yet, the very top. He’s actually asking if it actually gets any higher than where he is. All performed with beautiful vocals that seem more heavenly than arrogant.

Then Kanye spits bars on bars on bars on top of a very old school rap beat. Just Kanye performing some verbal acrobatics in a way that resonates with hip-hop fans of any era. It’s this kind of performing that puts him all-time lists with other great pure rappers like Nas.

The fact is that this track would be number one a lot of lists if it were made by another artist. But alas, Kanye’s discography is a lot like the 2017 Golden State Warriors. Three can only be three in a Big Three. Sorry Klay Thompson, and sorry Dark Fantasy.

3 – Touch the Sky → Late Registration (2005)

Along with the aforementioned Gold Digger and Jesus Walks, this song is among Kanye’s most famous. Like the others, it grabs your attention from the start, giving you only four small beats to prepare for a vibrant experience blossoming with energy and optimism.

The reason this song gets a higher place on this list is the incredible interaction between the orchestra, Kanye’s choice of tone and even a strong Lupe Fiasco feature. Kanye also puts forth one of his stronger performances from a verbal gymnastics perspectives. Some Kanye songs you can kind of keep up with lyrically. Other than the chorus, anything Kanye vocalises on this track is pretty tough to follow for longer than a few seconds.

For being a nice blend between mainstream hit, pure rap skill and that dash of Kanye flavour, Touch The Sky opens up the top three.

2 – Runaway → My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010)

Runaway will certainly be one of Kanye’s greatest career accomplishments. The opening piano keys are hauntingly beautiful, consuming the listener with confusing but real emotions from the very beginning. It’s the anticipation that get’s you, like in a horror film when you’re waiting for the jump scare. Then the different note rings in you ear and you feel it. That’s just the first twenty seconds of a nine minute emotional odyssey.

The song sends chills down your spine from the start and is best consumed in a dark room with your eyes closed. It’s what Kanye West does better than many artists in history. Then the song actually starts and it has an effect, a personal one at that.

Kanye is unravelling himself in song. He acknowledges his arrogance, the fact that he is not perfect whilst also admitting himself to be a perfectionist. It’s a raw self reflection where it seems that Ye struggles both with a pursuit of perfection in his life but also knows ultimately that nothing can remain totally without flaw forever.

It’s Kanye’s perception on the fleeting nature of beauty and love. It feels so intimate all the way through, the kind of connection the song makes is the kind you only experience sparingly in life.

Then there’s the outro. An over three minute voyage. Just auto tuned and indecipherable vocals over the haunting but classically beautiful instrumentals. Much in the way one can become entranced with the mystery of a Frank Ocean track, the outro provides and incredible conclusion to a perfect song.

1 – Ultralight Beam → The Life of Pablo (2016)

There are some great tracks that have been discussed in this piece and even more that didn’t even get a honorable mention. Some club bangers. Some heartfelt ballads. Some joyous proclamations of the joy of life. Some angry protests. With the close study of every track and skit on every album Ye has ever released, there is an undeniable truth.

Ultralight Beam is the greatest track Kanye West has ever made.

I understand the opposing argument. The Life of Pablo as an album has many flaws. The Kanye you get in TLOP overall is not the best Kanye we have ever been fortunate to experience. No song on that album had the mainstream acclaim of other songs. Nor did it universally get approved by every diehard hip-hop fan. TLOP is an average Kanye West album, mainly because it has too many songs that feel like filler. Whilst I don’t agree with all these assertions, I do understand them.

But none of those arguments have anything to do with Ultralight Beam.

It feels heavenly, divine, omnipotent and enlightening. I still remember driving around with my sister when I first heard it. My heart melted with the transition from the girl talking about God to those incredible chords and vocals. The instrumentals are insane, undeniably some of Kanye’s best producing work.

Then the choir hits. The choir is beautiful. The choir is exactly what it says it is. A god dream.

A deep beat, soul melting chords and an inspiring choir all collide to touch a very sensitive part of your very being you never knew. Kelly Price’s voice is the definition of musical beauty. All of this all time great Kanye work builds to what clinches the title for best Kanye track. The best verse of 2016 performed by Chance the Rapper. There’s too much about this verse that is great to limit it to one part. The song built perfectly to that voice, with those words over that beat.

If you’re still not totally convinced, listen to the last twenty seconds of that song a few times. Listen to it from beginning to end by yourself and really listen. That build over a song to the incredibly beautiful ending is what Kanye has thrived on his whole career. This is his greatest example of it.

It’s okay to disagree. The denial is expected. I sought out another answer. A great spiritual journey was undertaken. Many a possibility pondered. But in the end, there can only be one.