#model name is aaron bernards! <3

[birthofvcnus]

TIM DRAKE — RED ROBIN

[simptasia]

Lost coffee shop au?

i find coffee shop aus to be boring but i’ll try. thinking… thinking…

Oceanic Organic Cuppas (claire came up with the name, the menu has an all natural hippie vibe to it). gee a lot of people work here. this place is barely scraping by and it doesn’t have a consistent aesthetic but they’re doing their best. jack is the manager, 3 days without an emotional breakdown is his new record. everybody loves him anyway. as you can imagine, many of ‘em alternate being baristas. kate and claire man the till  and drink dispensers more often, using teamwork. if you show up when boone and shannon are doing their shift, ur order is gonna be wrong. sometimes on purpose. sun runs a garden on the roof to grow things that go into the cookies and cakes. hurley cooks/bakes these treats. sayid does the technical stuff. jin just wanted to be there to be with his wife, so he’s a waiter. sawyer doesn’t fucking do anything but read and make remarks (”dude, you work here too”). what does locke do here? nobody knows but he knows some shit. he really adds to the mystic vibe around here. charlie put ur fucking guitar away and wash the mugs. (”the customers like it!” “then you can play when we actually have customers. and for the love of god, put some socks on”) michael drew most the art on the walls and he’ll happily sell any you want- all right, have a good day. also walt is with him because he couldn’t afford a sitter. vincent is a secret in the basement, jack would lose his shit if he knew there was a dog in this place. claire gave birth to aaron in the bathroom. rose is also here, as i said they all take turns being baristas. her husband bernard brought along some new hires, ana lucia, eko and libby but they didn’t last long. jack you have too many employees this is a terrible business model

next door is the Kahuna Kafe,the coffee is great but most the staff are assholes. gault is the manager but he barely talks to anyone so naomi is pretty much in charge. miles just wants the paycheck. charlotte has a short-fuse but wants to keep her job so she doesn’t lash out at the customers. instead she rants at full steam later to miles n dan in the breakroom. its how she gets thru the day. that and dan’s presence makes her feel better. dan is only here because his mom insisted he get a job (because music isn’t a “real” job) so he’s trying this out. frank is frank, but in a coffee shop. keamy is an asshole who’s only here because it’s the only legal work he could get. he’s not allowed near customers anymore. the people at oceanic didn’t trust these new guys next door for a while but eventually grew fond of at least dan, miles, char and frank. and now they’re all amicle neighbours. besides they’re not the Real Enemy,

oceanic’s rivals across the street are Otherton™ Coffee (whom bought out The Dharma Chill Lounge years ago), one of many ventures started by mysterious and shady businessman only known as Jacob. and yes, the tm always goes after Otherton™ because they’re the starbucks of this world. looks pretty but it feels fake and over done, like it’s trying hard to be wholesome but it’s just superficial. It’s So Fucking Yellow. also the coffee/food is bland and terrible. everybody, staff and customers, feels at least slight uncomfortable but the business keeps going. nobody says anything. ben is the manager and everybody fucking hates him except for his vice manager Richard who kinda pities him. tom and ethan are “nice” but shady. this place is a front, i just know it. alex and karl are just here to get job experience on their resume, trying to ignore how weird it is. juliet’s fake smile and barista voice is something to be feared. she hates this job so much and wishes her boss would stop fucking hitting on her. next chance she gets she’s gonna quit and try that nice coffee shop across the street who seem to hire literally anyone no matter how fucked up and sad

desmond isn’t a part of any one faction in lost, so to fit that he keeps changing jobs until he settles with our oceanic guys. penny doesn’t work at any of these places, just a customer. goes to oceanic sometimes to support her husband, goes to kahuna sometimes to support her little brother. charles suggests she go to otherton™ but she refuses

i think i’m out of coffee shop headcanons but that was a lot anyways. rest assured that as befitting this genre, this would also contain lots of romance, pining, slow-burn and a romeo & juliet situation. of course, coffee shop aus don’t normally have 4 billion characters but whatever

so help me, i could translate the entire plot of lost into a coffee shop au if i wanted to. but i don’t. i hope what i’ve written here is suitably entertaining