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[milo-is-rambling]

Don't want to sleep bc when I woke up this morning it was too early so I went back to bed and spent like two hours falling in and out of sleep and in and out of a dream about my dad where he was alive again (weird as fuck to say that cause it still has not actually clicked in my brain that my dad is dead) and he kept trying to do things in the dream like go to sleep or go into a different room and I was like talking him out of it and I kept my eye on him constantly so he couldn't leave and it was like he got away from me and went to bed or something and the second he walked out of the room we were in I woke up and then I just kind of stared at my ceiling feeling bad for like an hour and it fucking sucked and my mom wasn't home when I got up again cause it was like noon and she had a work lunch today and left at 11 so I was home alone with my dog and I had that dream and then felt really truly alone and I realized that my dad dying fucked with my already bad abandonment issues and like I know that he didn't die and leave me on purpose obviously but like he's missing from my life now and he's not gonna be with me through all these future experiences I imagined having him there for like I'm not dating anyone and haven't dated anyone like long term serious recently so he's not gonna be able to ever meet the person I truly fall in love with or like be at my wedding and he's never gonna be able to have a Christmas together with me and my future family or even have grandkids and my dad loves kids and my neighbor (his best friend) has grandkids who knew my dad and like I played with them in the pool and we hung out a lot this last year and there's one kid who has the same name as my dad so they always said little bill and big bill for my dad and his friends grandkid and next time they come to visit we have to tell them something happened to big bill and he's not gonna be around anymore and it just fucking sucks. Death sucks Greif sucks I keep saying y'know "love doesn't go anywhere" "the pain of grief is just all the love you have to give still" "blah blah blah you're supposed to cry" but like I can say it as many times as I want I am still definitely not dealing with this at all. I barely legitimately cry about it like I'll drop like three tears when a specific song comes on Spotify shuffle but I haven't cried hard really and I avoid looking at pictures of him or anything or letting myself have any emotion about it and I think it's bc of this big huge shame monster I have in my chest that I call my heart but it truly does not let me experience emotions around other people like god damn I didn't realize how bad it was like I thought I had more control over it and I was just being edgy or whatever but I legitimately cannot handle crying in front of another person even my mom who I am the closest with out of anyone in my life like it's just me and my mom and millie and that's my whole fucking world and even with them I just can't let myself cry or feel actual emotion and the second I start crying I immediately lose all sadness I had cause my body just turns it off like someone fucking turned off a faucet like I cry a little bit completely alone when im driving and I can't really fully let it out cause I need to focus on driving that's the only way I can cry anymore cause even completely alone I am judging myself from my head and won't let myself cry and I keep trying and trying and I just do not know how to let myself cry and I feel like I have this giant inflatable swimming pool filling with so much water that it actually rips the plastic and explodes that's what I feel behind my eyes and nose at all times it's one big emotion blob right there and I can't fucking let it explode no matter how hard I try and I've been fucking trying. I rewatched all my crying shit and haven't been able to get an actual breakdown started at all it's pissing me off I want to just feel my feelings so I can work thru them but also every time I cry I feel so much shame like how do u fix that so I can cry really hard for like two months straight

[arthursclozapine]

Fan fiction #1

(Ok this is a repost i think)

You were on stage, doing your routine act at Pogo’s comedy club. You noticed someone in the crowd with a very unique laugh. Very noticeable. When you finished your act, you were ready to go home, feeling weary. You actually worked 2 jobs, and were on the brink of poverty, living paycheque to paycheque. The only reason you worked was because being in comedy was your dream. You gathered up your stuff in a duffle bag when someone taps you on the shoulder.

“Yeah?” You said as you turned to look. A withered looking man looked back at me.

“I really liked your set. Oh yeah, I’m Arthur.” He complemented, giving me a handshake with a laugh.

“Oh! You’re the laughing guy! Glad you enjoyed my performance, I’m Y/N.” You introduced yourself. Arthur smiles broadly.

“I’m actually trying to get into comedy myself!” Arthur told.

“That’d be cool to watch. What if I got you a spot on stage sometime? Start you off somewhere.” You offered. Arthur’s mouth gaped.

“Y-you would do that for me?” He says, laughing loudly.

“Yeah, sure. We gotta help each other out in this sick, sad world.” You patted his shoulder, then turned to leave.

“Hey........ just a thought...... would you like to go maybe for coffee sometime?” Arthur’s voice went soft. You smiled at him.

“Well, actually I’m busy this week, but I think I’m free this Saturday. Is that cool?” You say.

“Yeah, that’s great. Meet you at the Marimound cafe around 3?” he suggests.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” You respond.

“Thanks! See you later, Y/N!” Arthur said as he left.

Something about Arthur was so chill and loving. You chuckled at the idea of being with him. Who knows what could happen. You figured you just have make ends meet, and work and work until I saw him again.

Saturday lunchtime.

You sat by myself at the cafe we agreed to meet at. It was half past 3 by now. You already ordered a earl grey waiting for Arthur. The hanging door bells sounded. You turn to look and saw Arthur. Your heart jumped.

“Hey! Y/N! I’m here!” Arthur came flying through the door, looking flushed.

“It’s just my mum, she had to go to the hospital.....” he disclosed.

“Oh my! I’m so sorry? How is she?” You pried.

“Well, she’s��she’s older. I don’t think she’s gonna make it.” Arthur laments. You feel bad.

“I’m so sorry Arthur, I know it’s a bad time, you can go if you want.” You offer.

“No. You’re the only thing keeping me sane right now.” His voice was low. You felt a tinge of....... fear?

“Um.....I..” You looked down.

“Sorry. I just get too into my head sometimes.” He was back to his perky self. Something was seeming a bit off with Arthur— who were you kidding? You just met him 3 days ago! But you just wanted to help him...

“I’m so over with all of this gloom and doom. Why not just put a smile on your face?” You grinned at him. He smiled widely.

“Listen, Arthur. I really admire you, your work. It takes guts to be who you are in this world. I’m so glad to call you my friend!” You gushed.

“Just friends?” He flirted. You shook my head laughing.

“You’re pretty straight forward for such a shy guy.” You tempted.

“I do my best.” He smiles.

“Hey....... wanna get out of here? Have drinks at my place? I promise they’re better than here.” Arthur flirts some more. You laughed.

“You know what? Why not. Things can only go up from here.” You reasoned with myself.

“Sure, Arthur. Let’s go.”

You left in a cab that Arthur paid for, going toward his house. You both stopped outside a apartment building in a not so desirable neighbourhood. You felt sad about how everything was looking worn and torn down.

“Here we are. Please come in.” Arthur escorts you inside first. Inside it was really warm, and illuminated. A far cry from what was outside.

“Let me take your coat....” Arthur did as he said.

“Really homey here.” You comment.

“And now we’ve got it all to ourselves.” He toyed.

Wasn’t he just mourning his mum??????

You brushed hair from my face, symbolically brushing away that notion.

“Can’t wait time see what you have in store.” You teased, purposely moving your hand down your side. You couldn’t believe this was happening. You came over to Arthur, brushing your hand against his cheek. He closed his eyes as the both of you finally kissed. It was almost like you waited for this to happen for 4. Whole. Days.

Arthur caressed your body softly, making your core tingle.

“Oh, Arthur.............” You moan. He laughs quietly, then goes back to kissing.

“Mmmm, you’re so beautiful, Y/N......” Arthur mused.

“I can’t wait to show you the things I want to do to you...” he looked into my eyes then.

“Show me.” You smirked. He took you by the hand and led you backward into the bedroom. He placed you on the edge, sitting next to you. He continued kissing, and you felt butterflies in my stomach. He helped you pull off your shirt, and you did the same to him. In a moment, you were both naked. He started to caress you again, and your skin felt like fire wherever we touched. He moved lower, and started to stroke your clit.

“Arthur.......” You moan, tossing my head back. You were completely touch starved. Haven’t been able to keep a partner. His soft movements were already bringing me close to coming.

“Arthur yes!” You squirmed. He grinned, pleased by knowing how much you wanted him.

“Ride me.” He commanded. You did as told. Now the both of you were moaning and enjoying each other. You sighed with pleasure as you felt his hardness sliding in an out of you.

“Oh, Arthur......!” You moan, feeling yourself about to cum.

“You’re perfect! Y/N, you are so perfect!” Arthur cries.

The both of you cum at almost the same time. You let him stay inside you for a little longer as you kiss him some more.

“Arthur, you were so good......” You complimented.

“Really?” He seemed shy all of a sudden.

“Really.” You respond.

“That’s strange, considering this was my first time.” Arthur confesses. You were a little surprised.

“You’re kidding.” You say.

“Not this time, darling.” He said, lighting up a cigarette.

You both lay there naked on the bed for a while, just enjoying each other’s company. You stayed the night, holding onto him as you both fell into a deep sleep, dark and dreamless. In the morning, Arthur wakes you.

“Want some coffee?” He offers. You smile.

“Sure.” You reply, getting dressed. You come into the kitchen and see him. Such a vision.

“Here you go.” He poured fresh coffee into a mug. You take it graciously, siping it and enjoying the moment. He drank some too.

“How is it?” He asks.

“Good, good.” You reply. He smiles.

“It’s how my mother likes it.” He remarked. I nod.

“She’s got good taste.” You comment with a laugh.

Monday morning.

You waited for Arthur to come backstage at the comedy club. He came just in time, coming in the bad door.

“Good! You made it! You’re about to go on, in like 3 minutes! Ready, Arthur?” You drilled. You noticed Arthur had a book with him. He held it close.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” He laughed. You smile.

“Good! Break a leg out there!” You pat him on the back. He then turned, and kissed you, which kinda caught you off guard. You smiled hard.

“Thanks!” He called as he went on stage. You watch him with fervour. You didn't know what you two were, but you felt strongly about him!

His routine was great, could use a little pointers, but he really pleased the crowd.

“How was I?” Arthur buzzes. He looked so happy. You smiled at him.

“You were amazing!” You compliment. He smiled hard.

“We have to celebrate!” You suggest.

“Yes, right now.” Arthur said with determination. He grabbed you close, kissing you. He took you by the waist into the bathroom and locked the door.

“Mmmmm Arthur!” You moaned. He propped you up onto the sink, pulling you skirt up and pulling your panties down. You looked at him as he pulled down his trousers and seen that he was already hard.

“Ah! Arthur!” You whimper as he enters you.

You feel shockwaves of pleasure ripping through out your body. Arthur thrusted. Hard.

“You like that?” He muttered.

You toss your head back as you once again we’re about to cum.

“Yes! Arthur, I love it! I’m—I’m going to cum!” You exclaimed. Arthur grins.

“Do it. Cum for me.” Arthur kept thrusting in and out of you as you came. A short time away, Arthur came too, pulling out, his cum dripping out of you.

“Look at my dirty girl!” He teased, kissing you hard. You enjoyed every moment.

“That was actually amazing!” You compliment breathlessly.

“Thanks for helping me celebrate, Y/N, I couldn’t ask for more.” Arthur thanked you in a slightly teasing tone.

He helped you clean up, and the both of you went out.

You both walked on the avenue, slowly, looking at the lights, and watching the people.

“Arthur, I’ve been meaning to ask you.....” you begin. He looks at you.

“Yeah?” He says.

“What are we?” You ask, immediately regretting it. Arthur bit his lip.

“Whatever you want us to be.” He concedes. This wasn’t enough.

“Arthur. I want to be with you, but I want you to want to be with me.” You felt tears well in your eyes.

“Please don’t cry. Please. I love you, but I was too afraid to say it to you. I the truth is I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I need to be with you. You’re mine.” He confesses. He comes close to you, holding you as you cried. He kissed you on the forehead.

“No more crying. Put on a happy face.” He spreads your lips into a big smile with his thumbs. You sniffle, trying to cheer up for him.

“Arthur, I love you” you admit.

“I love you too, Y/N....... I mean it.” He kissed your mouth.

“I’ve been waiting a long time to hear that.” You smile.

[almost-sweet-music]

pls, pls do a long fluff fic with a sniffy sick Jamie. Blankets, being in his London flat in winter with the fire on, watching telly, his cat on the rug, soup, smooches, messy bed head, pink noses, damon coming round for a cup of tea and a chat. There aren't enough long fluffy fics. Danke!

THERE IS NOW 700 OF YOU SO THANKS SO MUCH FOR FOLLOWING THIS SHIT ACCOUNT ^-^

so here, have a Jamie as a gift!

(there’s a song mentioned so if you wanna listen to it here’s the link! )

The cool part about dating someone and both being sick at the same time is that you can spend countless hours doing nothing but cuddling in bed pressed together and wrapped up like a burrito and no one will judge you for it.

And that’s exactly what you’ve been doing with Jamie… For the past three days…

You woke up in the morning with your head snuggled right under Jamie’s arm and a wicked headache. You moaned in pain and turned away from your husband next to you, immediately regretting it as you were struck with sudden cold air. Winter was definitely not a great time to have a cold like this…

You rubbed your eyes trying to get rid of the morning drowsiness before being pulled back to your previous position by a pair of hands. Although you didn’t see it you could feel Jamie’s smirk as he wrapped his arms around you tightly and tangled your legs back together, trying to preserve the heat.

“Mmmmh Jaaaaaamie…. I have a headache again…” You moaned again, slowly succumbing back to the warmth of his chest and the plethora of blankets and sheets around you.

“Do you want me to get you a pill?” He asked in his deep morning voice you loved so much. You thought for a second and shook your head.

“No… I don’t wanna swallow any more pills… I’m so sick of it!” He chuckled and kissed the top of your head.

“ Go back to sleep then, baby… You’ll feel better when you wake up.” You sobbed through your stuffed nose and groaned before slowly but surely falling back asleep. -Maybe an hour later or more you woke up yet again this time, with a significant difference. You woke up alone… And without a headache.

You slowly sat up and looked around the room. Jamie surely wasn’t here but from the kitchen, you could hear some sizzling.

Your feet hit the cold floor and you shivered, quickly grabbing your slippers and putting them on as well as a giant bathrobe. You slowly wobbled out of the bedroom, rubbing your eyes on the way.

You peeked into the kitchen and smiled a little. Jamie looked just like you, with a messy head of hair, a red tinted nose, big ass robe and a pair of furry slippers. You walked over to him and put your head on his shoulder.

“Hello again.” He said and turned his head to the side to kiss your forehead and then returned his gaze to the pan in front of him.

“Eggs?” You asked although that question might as well pose as a rhetorical one as the answer was quite obvious.

“Yep.” Jamie replied putting extra pressure on the ‘p’.

“But we can’t even taste anything so why bother?” Jamie chuckled.

“Because even if we can’t feel it it’s still a nutritious meal and it’s good for you and also because uhh… Speak for yourself I am feeling pERFectly fine.” You giggled and moved aside to the coffee pot.

“Well when you put it like that I suppose it must be true.” Jamie laughed and took the eggs off the pan.

“If only Damon was this cooperative…” You sneered and poured two cups of coffee for the two of you, setting them down on the table. You sat down on your seat and soon Jamie joined you, bringing two plates full of food with him. After you were done eating Jamie pulled out his box of cigarettes and put one in his mouth. You pouted and sat back in your chair, crossing your arms. Your husband looked up at you and chuckled. “What are you looking at me like that for?”

“The cigarette. When will you stop smoking?” He chuckled again and let out the smoke.

“We’ve been married for five years now darling I thought you’d be used to it by now.”

“I will never get used to your bad habits Jamie. I can promise you that.” He smiled.

You flopped on the couch and picked up the remote.

And so the routine began. Endless flicking through the channels only to find nothing interesting, then turning off the telly and reaching for the book and putting it back down just as fast after realizing that reading is too much effort and then turning on the tv AGAIN and AGAIN finding nothing because only 3 minutes passed since you flicked through it the first time.

You groaned, covering yourself with a blanket covered in cat hair even though you told your beloved husband to put it back somewhere where the furball won’t be able to rub its furry ass all over it. Honestly? At this point, you didn’t care. Your nose hurt, you couldn’t breathe through it and you felt like shit. Jamie was still in the kitchen doing something and you were on your own looking at the ceiling wondering what did you do to deserve this torture.

“Jamieeee!” You called out.

“I’ll be right there love wait a minute please.” You pouted.

“I’m cold and I want a huuuuug!” You heard him laugh from the other room and the sound of a chair moving. Seconds later he was standing in the doorframe with two cups of some steaming liquid.

“I was gonna give you this but I don’t think I want to anymore now that you whined so much.” Your eyes lit up and you sat up on the couch with your arms outstretched.

“Whatever it is I want it.” Jamie cocked up one eyebrow. “…Please?” He nodded and finally moved away from the frame. He handed you one of the cups and sat down next to you. The liquid inside the cup turned out to be hot chocolate and you were beyond happy. “Oh hell yes…”

“Happy baby?” You glared at Jamie who had a cocky grin on his face.

“First of all, don’t patronize me, husband. Second of all..” You pouted and brought the cup up to your lips. “Yes…” You mumbled before taking a sip. Jamie chuckled and leaned back on the couch.

“So let’s check if there’s something on tv.”

You glared at him.

You pecked Jamie’s lips softly and smiled, hugging his chest and putting your head in the crook of his neck. He’s been reading a book out loud and you’ve been doing everything to sabotage it from climbing on his lap to playing with his glasses and stealing kisses. He rolled his eyes jokingly and tried to continue reading before you decided to smooch his again, this time longer. when you pulled away Jamie just groaned and put the book down. “Aww why did you stop? It got soooo interesting…” You asked in a mocking tone.

“Listen up you little girl, you were the one that wanted me to read this to you and I gotta say it’s kinda hard to do so when you constantly decide to kiss me ya know?” He squeezed your sides making you squirm. He was right though. You did want him to read to you, except you didn’t quite realize how boring it would get and how much fun it was to just annoy the shit out of Jamie.

“Mmmm yeah but it’s fun though.” Jamie shook his head. “Listen, I am sick… I am struggling so I might as well try to make it a bit more enjoyable.”

“I’m sick too! Where’s my fun?” You giggled.

“My company? Besides-” You were cut off by the doorbell ringing. “Oh… Who’s that?” Jamie grinned.

“I think I know… COME IN!” He yelled and seconds later Damon’s head popped into the room.

“Hello!” He chirped, walking inside. “Am I… disturbing…something?” He gestured to you. Jamie laughed and shook his head.

“No, we were just cuddling.”

Some chatting and a cup of tea later Damon had to go pick up Missy from somewhere so you were left alone again and after eating a very… “nutritious” dinner consisting of instant noodles (which weren’t a great substitute for the classic soup that’s supposed to make you feel better during a cold but it was surely good enough for now) and some cookies you found in the back of the cupboard you began to grow tired.

Jamie put some wood in the fireplace and some slow music in the back and the mood was set. You laid down on the couch next to him and listened to him ramble on about some projects he had, slowly drifting asleep…

“ah….ahhhh…ACHOO!” Jamie sneezed and groaned, wrapping the blanket tighter around his body. He looked to the side at you.

You were sleeping with your head on Jamie’s hip and your arms wrapped loosely around his waist. Maybe the couch wasn’t the most comfortable place in the house but you looked so cute with messy hair and a pink nose sleeping so peacefully, Jamie didn’t have the heart to wake you up so instead, he leaned back into the pillows and ran his fingers through your hair, massaging your scalp lightly. The fire was cracking happily in the fireplace accompanied only by your soft snores.

Sometime later Jamie felt you move around so he looked down and noticed you looking at the window. The snow was falling. A soft smile crept on Jamie’s face.

He leaned down and hugged you from the back, making you sit up between his legs. Your cat jumped on the couch and laid down between your legs as well, purring quietly as you scratched its head. Jamie pecked your jaw and nuzzled his head in the crook of your neck. You sighed happily and leaned back into his chest. Jamie began to sway from side to side with you, tickling your neck with his beard and making you giggle.  You tilted your head and softly kissed this temples. You enjoyed this. Just him and you…the cat… and silence. And for a second you forgot about everything. About your cold, about the snow outside… the world was gone and It was only you left. And you knew Jamie enjoyed it too. The way his lips curled in a smile while his eyes were closed and how he cuddled to you gave it all away.

“I…want a snowfall kind of love…The kind of love that quiets the wooorld~” Jamie started to sing quietly into your ear, hugging you tightly. A grin spread across your face and you giggled. “Now it’s your part baby…”

“I…Want a snowfall kind of love… Cause I’m a snowfall kind of girl.” You sang through your stuffed nose still swaying from side to side. Jamie chuckled as well squeezing you tight in his arms till you squealed. He yawned and put his head back on your shoulder.

“Let’s go to bed baby…” You giggled.

“It’s not even 9 yet Jamie…”

“Yeah so? I’m tired.”

“I just woke up I don’t think I’ll be able to fall asleep again.”

“I’ll make you.” You fake gasped.

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

“A threat. If you don’t fall asleep I’m going to knock you out.” You burst out with laughter, making him laugh as well. He turned his head around so he could look at you. His eyes were barely open and you could see he was struggling to keep them that way.

“Sigh…. Alright, I suppose we could go to bed early for once. But just because I don’t want to have to carry you to the bed and not because I’m scared or anything…” You pouted and got up. Jamie smiled lazily and stood up right after you. You grabbed his hand and lead him into the bedroom. Upon walking inside you noticed the cat lying flat on the bed directly in the middle. You giggled. “Well look at that honey… I think the bed’s occupied we can’t sleep here…” Jamie let go of your hand and picked up the cat, placing it on the floor.

“Problem solved.” He said and flopped on the bed. You sighed in defeat.

“Shouldn’t we at least shower first?”

“No. Sleep. Now.” He held the sheet up for you to climb under. You rolled your eyes jokingly and joined him under the warm blankets. You pressed yourself against his chest as close at it was humanly possible and put your palm on his cheek, bringing his lips to yours again. Jamie kissed you back softly, running his hand over your hip before pulling away. “Goodnight love.” He said tiredly.

“Goodnight.” You replied but by that point, he was already asleep.                    

[iammarylastar]

2. Husband and wife

*5 years earlier*

“Jack let me introduce you to Shade Johnson. Shade this is Jack McLane, your partner.” Chief McKay announced.

The new pair stared at each other from head to toe.

Interesting! He thought. Embarrassing! She pursed her lips.

“I work alone!” They both objected in unison.

What a good pair! McKay thought to himself. They already are on the same page.

“Sorry guys but we need you both this time. We have some jeopardized interests in Paris. A branch of the Calabrese’s mafia from New York threatens an operation of dismantling of weapons and drugs deal. Our contacts on the spot who have been working undercover for nearly a year just fucked up. They’re off. You will fly to Paris and keep an eye on what the fuck is going on down there and report your French counterpart. Nothing really hard. Sneaking in the clubs the Italians regularly attend, keeping a watch on the big shots and their whereabouts, noting down addresses and acquaintanceships, reporting to French competent authorities. Like a walk through a meadow for you both.”

Chief McKay stopped his speech and looked at his two recruits. The man seemed bored and the woman upset.

“I’m sure Mr. Action man could do this all by himself right? I’ll surely be more helpful in another place with something riskier to do than babysitting McLane.” She snapped.

“Oh! Mrs I-have-menstrual-cramps-30-days-a-month sounds grumpy. An all-expense-paid trip in Paris with nothing to do than hanging out and be on a stakeout, I’m in! I bet the little Frenchies are warmer than you, Icecube.”

“Fuck you McLane.” She glared at him. Motherfucker. Fucking blue eyes.

“Matter of time baby.” He winked at her. She’s sexy when she’s pissed off.

“I’m glad you would enjoy a mouthful of some frog’s legs Parisienne.” She smiled exaggeratedly. Bastard.

“Sounds tasty darling.” He licked his lower lip before he blowed a kiss to her. Partner.

“Stop this! You are official agents of the CIA and you’re on mission from now on. I’ll not allowed any complaints nor whining. If you have personal requests, please use the hierarchical ladder. Now, pack up and take your files. You could study them in the aircraft. Take off at 1:00 p.m.”

Both agents grabbed their files, mumbling purposely too loud some chosen love words to their forced partners.

“And fill your luggage with fancy clothes, you’re gonna spend time with Parisian’s ‘la crème de la crème’. Lucky you, the American taxpayers offer you a room in the most expensive Parisian hotel. Luxury ‘à la française’. You will reside in the Ritz, place Vendôme for the next 3 months.”

“Nice!” Shade mumbled. “High heels and diamonds necklace, my life.”

“Picky princess…” Jack whispered.

“Guys I warn you, however you need to fix it, you figure it out. Get ready to get along and share a suite and live together for awhile.”

“Together?” They startled at the same time.

“Hold on guys. We need you as a couple. You’re officially Mr. And Mrs. Sinclair. Congrats you lovebirds!”

Shade’s face crumbled in pieces, while Jack’s lightened up just a bit. One thing he got from his hated father was the ability to push the other’s button. He has inherited the sardonic one-liner skill, the itchy trigger finger John McLane senior was well known for.

“Now get out of here, I’m tired to see your faces.”

Jack walked gently Shade towards the door, he opened for her. Reaching out the hand he unsuccessfully placed in her lower back before being yanked at roughly, he bowed:

“After you, love”

“I’ll be sick!” She grumbled.

“And no hanky panky guys you’re on duty!” McKay shouted to the young couple, laughing out loud.

*

“Let ’s work on our love story honey.” Jack shifted in his seat, facing his temporary wife.

“Don’t call me that McLane.” She glared at him for the hundredth time since they had settled down in the airplane.

Jack had acted like a fucking gentleman, touchy, smooth and attentive at will. Though she found him pretty attractive, he was definitely not her type.

“I know your maiden name, date and City of birth, everything about your fake parents and big sister, where you were in High school and college but the file doesn’t mention private stuff like…” He paused and thought of what he wanted to know.

“Like what, McLane?” She roughly asked.

“First, my name, our name is Sinclair, and since we’ve been in love and married for…” he flipped through the pages of the file to check on the date.

“Supposed to be in love.” She snapped.

“OK hun. Supposed to be in love and happily married for 2 years, I think you could call me by my first name. Jack, remember? We’re stuck with each other for the next 3 months, and 'undercover’ means we have to build a good story, in case people ask for more details. Details make the story credible.”

She rolled her eyes and sighed loudly, giving up. “Well Jack. What do you want to know?”

“Favorite colour?” He tried.

“Who would give a fuck?” She snarled.

“Honey…” he begged.

“OK, OK. I’ll answer but stop calling me honey! Blue.” She said.

“Great! Favourite meal? ”

“Bo bun. Thaï food. ”

“Mmmm. Love Thaï food too. Hobbies? ”

“I like to read files and reports. I like study about weapons and close quarter combat. I run 5 miles every morning and work out at least one hour a day. I don’t hang out with mate, I hate shopping, I don’t drink alcohol nor smoke. Satisfied?” She taped a forced smile on her beautiful face.

“Well… Let’s say you like reading books and going to the gym. We’re heading to France, are you sure you don’t like wine? French have some stunning Grands Crus, it would be a crime not to taste them.” Burgondy fine wines were Jack’s weakness.

“No. Read my lips. No alcohol. No cigarette.”

“Jesus, I hope you have sex at least. Otherwise your life would sound… deadly boring.”

“Dont push my button McLane.”

“Ok I’m done. How did we meet?”

“Highschool. The common cliché. You were the most popular quarterback. I was cheer leader.” Shade said.

“Great. Our wedding?”

“Simple. You fell on your knee to propose to me during the Superbowl, broadcast live on the big screens, I said yes, jumping up and down like a hysterical teen. You offered me the engagement ring you paid with your first salary, I jumped into your arms, everyone was in tears. Big ceremony in a luxury hotel, wedding pic on the beach. You looked dapper in your three piece suit, I looked fabulous in my 20000$ spectacular wedding gown. First dance was “Fly me to the moon” by Frank Sinatra- barf- Champagne and huge cake you and I cut together. The pic is pinned in our living room.

“Sounds like real. Very romantic. Honeymoon?”

“Gosh! Paris or Hawaii. Whatever. My dear husband refused to leave the bed to go sightseeing.” She sighed.

“ Yeah, you worn me out. I love that part. That’s why we’re back in Paris. Romantic getaway to finally enjoy the City of Lights and Lovers.” Jack looked straight into Shade’s green eyes and went on.

“Do we want kids?” Jack abruptly asked.

“Why did you ask that question?”

“We’ve been married for two years. That’s the usual next step…” he wondered.

“I guess we wanted some, one day, but we’re actually busy with our careers.”

“Do you want kids?”

“I just answered, didn’t you hear?” Shade got upset.

“Nah, I mean you, the real Shade. Do you want children?” Jack sounded serious.

“That’s highly personal. But I feel like you’ll harass me until you got your answer so. .. No.”

“It’s a shame. I’m sure you’d make beautiful babies.”

“You sneaky bastard. You don’t end up as a CIA spy without serious family traumas, do you?” Shade smartly noted.

“Good call. My so called father has me choosing for this job. He was a cop. Married to his loyalty to the NYPD. Never at home for Xmas nor birthday cakes. Only seeing in me a lame juvenile delinquent, like I was a disappointing pain in his ass. Never want to be that kind of father for my own kids.”

“Do you still want kids? Your trauma is not as serious as mine. I win hands down McLane.” Shade smirked.

“Sorry to hear that Honey.” Jack grabbed her hand.

“Don’t call me Honey. I warn you.” She yanked at it in disgust.

“Fine. What would be our emergency code?” Each agent, each mission needed one.“

"Not Honey for sure…”

“Anything in mind?” Jack asked.

Shade sighed loudly, obviously bored by the game. “I figured out all our love story already. You chose. I don’t care.”

“Great I like this. Let’s say… Babe.” He tried.

“No way. Pick something else.”

“Mmmm. Have you ever own a pet? I’m sure you’re a dog person.” Jack guessed.

“Wrong. We were not that kind of happy perfect family with pets and smiles. Mostly punches and bruises.”

“Holy shit. You’re right, you win hands down. Worst childhood award. Any blankie or favorite teddy?” He went on.

“I had this koala bear my aunt sent me from Oz when I was born. He was fluffy and cute. He had little Boomerangs tied on his back. I named it Boo. He was my best friend. We were inseparable until my father threw it in the fire.”

“Boo. Suits you. That’s it. You’ll be my Boo.” Jack smiled.

“I totally hate it. That’s the most ridiculous pet name for a guy??? Let’s say…. you do look like Cupcake, what do you think?” She smirked.

“I’m a fan. I vote for it. Boo and Cupcake. Sounds like killer names for a dangerous mission. Exclusively reserved for emergency case.” Jack said, proud of his nice touch and of his ability to make Shade talk about herself. It punched his heart to figure out her as a little girl fighting with family issues but that’s what made her strong and bitchy. Which he liked a lot.

“Anything you wanna ask about me?” Jack was ready to let it all out for her.

“Only one. When are you going to shut up?” She snapped sarcastically.

Jack frowned and slammed his back on his seat. It was a long shot…

Jack suddenly shoved into his carry on and dug out a dark blue jewel box he was quick to open. Two wedding rings were lying on the velvet pillow, tied with a silky ribbon.

“I thought those ultimate details would make our romance real. I hope you’ll love the one I chose for you.”

Without asking for permission he freed the single diamond ring and put the ring on her finger. A weird twist tickled her stomach when he stared intensely at her, squeezing tenderly her left hand.

“For better or for worst, Boo. Happily ever after.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up McLane.” She snapped, uncomfortable. Why had he be that damn cute?

@kenzieam @oddsnendsfanfics @pathybo @frecklefaceb @jaihardy @jaicourtneyseyes @tigpooh67 @pernilleals @writingismyhappytime @beltz2016 @societalfailure @beautifulramblingbrains @captstefanbrandt @red-diary @badassbaker @bookwarm85

@singingpeople

@angelswannawearmyredshooz

[fionnmeetsharry]

Coffee and Cigarettes

Hello lovely people, I am currently working on a request but thought I'd post this Fluffy piece for now! REQUESTS ARE OPEN •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• It was one of those really good fall days, the kind where all the leaves are different shades of orange, red, and yellow. The wind was slightly blowing through the streets leaving a perfect breeze in its trail. Fionn had actually woken up early this morning, it was one of the rare days where he had nothing to do at all, in fact he had nothing to do tomorrow either. It felt good for him to have some time off after Dunkirk and all the promo mixed with doing Queers, like he deserved some relaxation, the only problem being now he wasn't too sure he knew how anymore. Making his way down the street, glasses and baseball cap on, he decided to go to the coffee shop he used to work at. Fionn was enjoying walking through the town with no one recognizing him, not that he didn't appreciate his fans, he did, it was just that it was nice to feel normal. Entering the small shop Fionns nose is instantly filled with the scent of fresh coffee, sweet treats, and buttery croissants. “Fionn, darling is that you?” The old lady from behind the counter came around to see Fionn and give him a hug. “Hi Doris how are you?” Fionn asks as he hugs the cheerful lady back. This lady meant a lot to Fionn, she was the lady that gave him the job at the coffee shop 2 years, and this is probably the most meaningful job Fionn will ever have, it's a job that taught him to be humble and grateful. “I'm good love, we all are just miss you round these parts is all, yeh know now that you're a big movie star and all”. “I'm still me, I'm still the lanky boy you hired years ago, just been a little busy s’all”. Fionn smiles shyly at the kind woman. “Well can I get you anything love?” “Yea my usual please Doris”. “Sure thing, an umm there's a sweet thing over there that you may want to say hey to”. Pointing to a small table in the corner the lady walks off to get Fionn his coffee and croissant with a side of Nutella. Fionn looks over at the table to see you with your nose in your phone, and carelessly picking bites off your croissant and dipping it in your Nutella before popping it in your mouth. Fionn smiles at his best friend that he planned on surprising later and heads over to the table for two taking the spare chair. “I'm sorry that seats taken”. Mindlessly still buried in your phone and eating you tell the person who you assume is a stranger to leave. “Really? And who would be sitting here that's more important than me love?” You freeze for a second thinking you must be going crazy because you could have sworn that you just heard Fionn, the Fionn that's been gone for months and you haven't had more than a 3 second conversation with over the phone. Looking up you can see Fionn sitting across from you with a smirk on his face. The boy that you grew up with had never looked better, he looked refreshed and tanner making his freckles pop against his skin and his hair was shorter than before he left but longer than after he cut it for the movie. But the biggest change you noticed was that he wasn't the lanky kid that left you a year ago, he had filled out and was muscular, shoulders broader, arms wider, and neck thicker. “Fionn!” You jump from your chair hoping for a hug from your best friend. Fionn gets up from his chair immediately wrapping his arms around you, burying his nose in your neck and mumbling an “I missed you” in your ear. Doris comes up to the both of you with Fionns coffee and food smiling. Fionn picks his plate and coffee up from the table, “C’mon love lets go to our table outside”. Fionn smiles and motioned his head towards the door, grabbing your plate and coffee you follow the boy to what you had declared your table years ago. Sitting down you both start eating, Fionn stops and you notice him staring at you, you stop eating and look up to see him smiling at you. “What is it ya goof, do I have something on my face?” Fionn smiles shyly down at his plate. It's not that he feels uncomfortable around you but just that he hadn't seen you in months and when he's been gone from someone that long it kinda felt like starting over. It didn't help that you somehow were even more gorgeous now than you were almost a year ago. “No, no love it's just.. just that it's nice that your still getting our order, coffee and a croissant with a side of Nutella, it's nice, it's familiar”. You smile at Fionn happy that he seems to find a comfort in being with you here. After eating Fionn grabs a cigarette from his pocket and lights it, the flames from the lighter flickering on his face, lighting up all his perfect little freckles. This is the strange thing about Fionn, if he has coffee he has to have a cigarette, now most people have a cigarette with alcohol but not Fionn nope Fionn has his with coffee. After pulling a drag the boy noticed you snickering at him, “What is it love, do I have something on my face?” Still snickering you shake your head, “No Fionn it's just, you still have to have a cigarette with your coffee don't you? I just never got it is all”. Fionn smiles down at the table fidgeting with the cigarette between his fingers. “I don't know, I just like it how they taste together, relaxes me a bit”. After you both finish your coffee the both of you walk around town all day, reminiscing about all the old places you used to hang out at. It was starting to get dark and cold outside, “Well look at that Fionn looks like we spent the whole day away and it didn't feel like more than an hour” “I know, feels like we were just at the shop”. “Fionn, you spent the whole day with me, don't you have any other friends you want to see before your schedule picks back up again?” Fionn, with his hands buried down in his pockets looked down at the ground and shook his head? “No, not really, kinda just want to spend all my time with you s’all. Plus yea I have friends but they have friends and they have parties and I'm so awkward. It's been nice being with you today, you haven't once asked me about the movie or Harry's Styles and his hair, I felt normal again”. You laugh at Fionn happy that you made him feel normal and comfortable. Fionn grabs your cold hand holding it in his warm one that was in his pocket moments ago, “So what do yeh say, wanna go see a movie?” You smile at Fionn shaking your head yes, Fionn didn't even notice that he had held your hand all the way to the theatre until he went to pay for the tickets, you could see the blush creeping up his face. After the movie the both of you headed to your house, you made a pot of coffee and the both of you headed up to your roof were you both would spend your nights staring at the stars when you were younger. Fionn lights a cigarette while staring at the stars and mumbles something that you don't quite catch. “What is that?” “Oh, I was just saying that…that I don't want this to end, I had the best day in a very long time today just being here with you, you just make me feel normal something no one else can do”. You're staring at Fionn listening to everything he's telling you, you get lost in the thought of him and how beautiful he's gotten and before you notice it he's placing his lips on yours, both of your lips intertwining into a passionate, slow, gentle kiss. “I've been wanting to do that since I saw you in the shop this morning, I don't know what it is Y/N but it seems that somehow you're even more beautiful now than a year ago”. “You know Fionn, I could say the same about you, your broader, tanner, you looked reshreshed”. Fionn looks away from you looking shy again, “Y/N, I don't know if I want to be just friends anymore, I want to be something more, I want you to be mine”. You kiss him one more time, “I feel the same way Fionn. Why don't you spend the night with me like we used too when we were kids, you can stay in my bed”. The both of you crawl into your queen sized bed, you laying on his chest listening to his heart beat and breaths and him playing with your hair as you both fall asleep. You wake up to the smell of pancakes, your mom must have been making breakfast. “Fionn, Fionn get up my moms already up we have to get you out of here unseen. After quietly walking down the stairs and with Fionn almost out the door you hear your mom call, “Y/N will Fionn be staying for breakfast or are you just gonna wake him up and kick him out like that?” You and Fionn both walk into the kitchen slowly, Fionn a bit shy and saying hello to your mom. You both sit down and eat as your mom brings you both some coffee. After eating you both help to clean up thanking your mom for breakfast. You walk Fionn out so he can smoke, he said he wanted to go home and take a shower, that he wanted to take you on a proper date and he needed to plan it. Before he left he placed a kiss on your lips “Mmmm coffee and cigarettes, I think I'm starting to understand why you like the flavor. “Silly girl and you questioned me the entire time”.

[theoriginalspike]

for the weird ask thingy how about 1-98? so yes all of them please!

I’m gonna put this under a read more so that it’s not insanely long but thank you for allowing me to overshare because that’s literally all i want in life

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

coffee mugs, if i see one that i like, i usually buy it or think about it for a really long time. 

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy, i can’t stand the smell or taste of bubblegum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

on most of my report cards i was a pleasure to have in class but has trouble actually turning in homework

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

either soda bottles or glass cups

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

i love the aesthetic of formal but i prefer boho/preppy 

7. earbuds or headphones?

earbuds, headphones squish my head

8. movies or tv shows?

movies 

9. favorite smell in the summer?

honeysuckle

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

being goalie for handball

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

peanut butter crunch clif bar

12. name of your favorite playlist?

summertime

13. lanyard or key ring?

keyring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

watermelon jolly ranchers

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

fahrenheit 451

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

cross legged or leaning to the side with both feet tucked up next to me (only in a chair/on the couch though)

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

either birkenstocks or my bean boots

18. ideal weather?

slightly cloudy, breezy, and between 60 and 75 with a dew point under 55

19. sleeping position?

any position but on my back

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

i like a notebook, my fingers try to type too fast for my brain so i make a lot of mistakes and i need lines otherwise it slants all over the page

21. obsession from childhood?

i used to collect guitar picks. i have too many

22. role model?

my friend kelsey. she never let anyone’s opinions of her shape who she was. she did what she wanted and was such a free spirit. 

23. strange habits?

left goes first. if it’s makeup, my left eyebrow, lashes, contour, blush, anything goes first. left shoe goes on first, left pant leg, left shirt/jacket sleeve. left first or it feels wrong. 

24. favorite crystal?

i love amethyst because it’s purple.

25. first song you remember hearing?

probably american pie by don mclean.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

swimming

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

honestly stargazing. getting all bundled up and lying in a bunch of blankets is great. there no humidity to make the stars hazy and on a really clear night it’s beautiful.

28. five songs to describe you?

perfect - anne marie, devil’s in the canyon - the strike, orpheus - sara bareilles, rainbow - kacey musgraves, vienna - billy joel

29. best way to bond with you?

talk to me about music, animals, what you find beautiful or peaceful.

30. places that you find sacred?

any mountain top, the chapel in the pines at camp, fields of wildflowers, any waterfall.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

my black dress with big red roses and my black and white stripe heels with roses. 

32. top five favorite vines?

oh shit the tampons one, the no yelling sock, the souls of the innocent, bagel boys, that was majestic

33. most used phrase in your phone?

i have wtf set to automatically replace with what the fuck and i probably use that daily

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

i always have the cropp metcalfe jingle stuck in my head

35. average time you fall asleep?

on a work night usually between 10:30 and 11:30 but weekends its closer to midnight

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

probably those creepy u mad? and sad face drawings.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

i prefer a suitcase but not a huge one

38. lemonade or tea?

it has to be sweet tea if it’s iced

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

lemon cake. lemon meringue pie is never the right sweet/tart ratio

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

my senior yaer they locked the boys and girls bathrooms in the science wing because the boys were setting off axe bombs and the girls were smoking cigarettes

41. last person you texted?

my friend corinne

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

yes

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

yes

44. favorite scent for soap?

citrus. it just smells cleaner

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

i’m a sucker for fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

i have a couple of dresses that are stretchy but too short to be acceptable (imo) for public wear

47. favorite type of cheese?

i love mozarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

i’d be a peach

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

it’s chaos, be kind

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

probably just weird shit from camp

51. current stresses?

mmmmmm job hunting, packing for camp, cleaning

52. favorite font?

i can’t remember the font name but it’s like old typewriter letters

53. what is the current state of your hands?

i need to paint my nails and cut them

54. what did you learn from your first job?

that people are really fucking dumb and don’t read the fine print on their coupons

55. favorite fairy tale?

the princess and the pea

56. favorite tradition?

we always do a big pancake dinner on mardi gras

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

dealing with my hair’s natural curl pattern, and i’m gonna have to get back to you on the other two

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

i can braid hair really well, i can cook without a recipe, i made the highest swim level as a camper in 6 weeks my last year as a camper, i’m really good at cat’s cradle

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“absolutely not”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

i don’t watch anime so i have no idea

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“war is war and hell is hell. and of the two, war is a lot worse”

62. seven characters you relate to?

radar o’reilly, arya stark, dumplin’, carol danvers, eleanor shellstrop, wayne and daryl from letterkenny.

63. five songs that would play in your club?

gas pedal - sage the gemini, gasolina - daddy yankee, despacito - luis fonsi, bitch better have my money - rihanna, and only nicki minaj’s verse from monster

64. favorite website from your childhood?

neopets or i think it was whitesheepblacksheep but there was a site that had a maze game that was set to the music Orpheus in the Underworld

65. any permanent scars?

my right foot from being born c-section, right shin from a staph infection, left wrist and left foot from ganglion cysts, and my chin from a golf club

66. favorite flower(s)?

all of them EXCEPT for the flowers from bradford pear trees. fuck those.

67. good luck charms?

not really

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

oh god there was a grape juice my friend brenda had me try and it was just so tart it tasted like it had gone past expiration.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

i can tie and untie a hair tie with my fingers

70. left or right handed?

right handed

71. least favorite pattern?

i hate herringbone and houndstooth

72. worst subject?

the only math i breezed through was geometry

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

i really like potato chips and grape jelly

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

like a 6 or 7. unless it’s mouth pain then like a 3 at most. 

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

probably 7 or 8? i can’t remember but i DO know that my mother kept all of mine and my siblings baby teeth

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

potato gratin is amazing

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

succulents

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

coffee from a gas station specifically sheetz

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

oh god my school photo. my license photo i look like i WILL kill the photographer

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

jewel tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

i use both interchangeably 

82. pc or console?

i play internet games which is as far as i got with gaming. although i do really want a game cube so i can play monkeyball

83. writing or drawing?

writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket?

i have 2 pollypockets still and i refuse to give them up

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cookies

87. your greatest fear?

i really don’t like the dark lmao

88. your greatest wish?

mmmm i’m honestly not sure

89. who would you put before everyone else?

barack obama

90. luckiest mistake?

not checking the weekend of my brother getting married and lucking out that i bought concert tickets for the weekend before

91. boxes or bags?

bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights

93. nicknames?

libby, libs, libster, “ms. teaguerson” is one i’ve gotten from a couple of kids i’ve subbed for, any version of elizabeth at this point.

94. favorite season?

fall 

95. favorite app on your phone?

i just downloaded a crosswords app and it’s fantastic

96. desktop background?

the sky being absolutely BLACK during an afternoon storm right before a big event at camp

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

i think 8

98. favorite historical era?

i really love the clothes of the 40′s

[fantasyimmortal]

Prelude to a New Life

This was originally a gift to @saeranlover a few weeks ago but now I have continued the story but I didn’t want anyone to be confused so here is the start of it <3

Summary:  Saeran's body was starting to warn him that he needed to bite someone and soon. Sitting at a bar he found no one of interest until he was starting to leave and an interest walked into the door.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Fantasy,  Alternate Universe - Vampire, Language, Sex, Drunk Sex, Biting, Blood Drinking, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Alcohol

               I sat in the corner of the bar sipping at the whiskey in my glass, my eyes shifting over the crowd. Not a very lively bunch tonight. I ran my tongue along the pointed tip of one of my fangs. Pain was starting to set in and I knew I needed to bite someone soon. A bloodbag wouldn’t ease this pain, it was one of the downsides of being a “new-age” vampire. “Who would’ve thought we evolved.” I chuckled to myself as I put my chin in my hand while I held up my glass with the other. I spun the glass around, the ice cubes inside clinking against each other as the light gleamed through the deep auburn color of the liquor.

               Bringing the rim of the glass to my lips I threw my head back and finished what was left. Feeling pain in my fangs again I slammed the glass onto the table. I stood up abruptly and turned towards the entrance of the bar but immediately froze. A woman had just walked in and her eyes looked red as if she had been crying. Seeing her distress I smiled as I sat back down in my seat while she took her own at the bar.

               Getting the waitress’s attention for another round I watched the woman at the bar while she slammed down a shot with no lime or anything to chase down the flavor of her poison. Interesting. The waitress sauntered over a few minutes later and put a new glass of whiskey on the table in front of me. I waited a few seconds for her to leave and when she didn’t I looked up at her.

               “Is there anything else I can get you?”

               “No.” I grabbed the glass and started to bring it to my lips. The waitress however stayed where she stood. “You’re blocking my view. Get lost.” Her shoulders flinched as if I had hit her and clutching her serving tray to her chest she quickly turned and walked away but not before I heard a hiccup from her. “Whatever.” I muttered as I watched her rush to the kitchen.

               I looked at the woman that had initially caught my interest. The bartender was serving her another shot which, like the first, she threw back with no chaser. It was then I noticed some men glancing in her direction. Clenching my jaw I grabbed my glass and got up from my seat to walk up to the bar.

               When I placed my glass on the counter the woman looked over at me. A blush had started to rise to her cheeks from the alcohol she was consuming. She turned in her seat and smiled kindly at me. I cocked my eyebrow as I looked over her head at the men that were eyeing her. Their gazes darted around the bar before they turned their backs to me. Yeah, she’s mine. Back the fuck off.

               “Why are men fucking assholes?”

               I blinked a few times at her question. Her eyes were glazing over as the alcohol started to hit her all at once. She widened her eyes as she looked at me, waiting for me to respond.

               “Sseriously. Men are dicks!” She reached out and grabbed the glass from my hand. Bringing it to her lips she started to sip the whiskey inside.

               “Well isn’t it rather bitchy to steal a drink that wasn’t offered?” I asked her leaning against the bar and smiling at her brashness.

               “Hhmm?” She held up the glass and realization flashed across her face. “Oh god! I’m ssorry.” She quickly put the glass down and reached for her already empty shot glass and titled it back as if it was full. “I…I think I need to go home….”

               “I’ll help you.” I said with a smile as I put my arm around her to help steady her. I paid her tab and helped her out of the bar. “And you live where, princess?”

               She held up her hand and waved it. “Over in thhat direction…”

               Helpful. I pressed my tongue against my fangs as I felt them throb with pain when I suddenly heard her pulse as she leaned against me practically passed out. “Fuck it.” Lifting her up into my arms I started walking towards the nearest hotel.

               The clerk behind the counter eyed us before he gave me a room near the top floor. With a wink he gave me the keycard for the room. I walked over to the elevator and shifted her awkwardly to press the button for the correct floor. Once the elevator started moving she began to stir in my arms. I put her feet down when she started to kick her legs. She grabbed a fistful of my clothes before pulling me down towards her. He lips pressed against mine before she quickly pulled back. I licked my lips, the lingering taste of alcohol spreading across my tongue.

               “I don normally do thiss… I jusss want to forghet that fucker.”

               The smile that I had been holding back spread across my lips and one of my fangs started to show. I held her face in my hands and backed her up against the wall of the elevator. “Done.” Her eyes widened as I crashed my lips against hers and kissed her fervently.

               The elevator sounded off with a ring, signaling the correct floor. Pulling her towards me I pulled back from the kiss as she clutched at my clothes. When the doors opened there was an elderly couple that stood on the other side.

               The older woman held a hand to her chest in disgust while her partner put his arm around her. “Oh get the fuck over it. It’s probably not the worst you’ve seen in your worn-out lives.” I rushed past them and hurried to the room.

               I put the keycard in the door and she rushed inside while pulling her shirt over her head. I walked in after her and kicked the door closed. I looked at her standing there, in her pants and bra, her hair a slight mess as she breathed heavily. I reached out grabbing her wrist. Pulling her I slammed her back against the door and lifted her up. Without missing a beat she wrapped her legs around my waist while wrapping her arms around my neck.

               I kissed down her neck, the sound of her pulse ringing loudly in my ears. I closed my eyes and inhaled her scent before opening my mouth and sinking my fangs deep into her skin. She hissed in pain but didn’t try to push me away. I pressed her against the door harder as I started to drink. It was the most delicious blood I had ever tasted and I reveled in the intoxicating sweetness.

               I pulled back, inhaling a deep breath to take in the smell of her blood along with the taste of it still on my tongue. With a growl I pulled away from the door and threw her on the bed. I could feel an animalistic need taking over and made quick work shredding the rest of her clothes from her body.

               Blood from my bite trickled down her skin as she sat up and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from it. She started to put her hand up to her neck and I reached out quickly to stop her. She tilted her head back with a sigh as I brought her wrist to my lips and lick the thin, sensitive skin.

               “Mmmm…”

               Her moan caused my body to shiver slightly and I closed my eyes focusing on her sweet sounds. She surprised me when she pulled her hand away and started to reach for the button of my pants. It could’ve been the alcohol or the emotional pain of whoever it was that had hurt her but her boldness was extremely erotic. While she messed with the zipper of my pants I ran a hand up the inside of her thigh before running a finger up and down the slit of her pussy, finding her already wet.

               I inserted two fingers as she reached into my pants and grabbed my cock. Normally woman would be afraid of me by this point but she moaned before she bit her lip and started to pump her hand. “Fuck!” Pulling her hand away I pushed her back against the bed and settled between her legs.

               She put her hands around me and dug her nails into my back as I thrust my cock fully into her. Her urgency matched my own and I pressed my lips to hers as I started to fuck her hard and fast. I pulled back from the kiss and ran my tongue over my bite marks before puncturing her skin again. She cried out but not in the normal scream I would hear from a woman. She was getting pleasure from it.

               I could feel her muscles tightening around me as she wrapped her legs around me and lifted her hips. meeting my thrusts half why while simultaneously changing the angle. It didn’t take too much longer for her to cum around me and when she did she held onto me as if her life depended on it. The intensity of her drive had caught me off guard and I sank my fangs into again as came as well.

               She panted and looked up at me with half-lidded eyes, looking thoroughly satisfied. Her eyes fluttered closed as she started to come down from her high. Her hands fell limply at her sides and her breathing began to even out. I got up off the bed and lit up a cigarette while stripping the rest of my clothes off.

               I glanced over at her naked form and watched her breasts rise and fall with her even breathing. Never had I seen a human with a drive to match that of a vampire. I smirked as I wondered who it was that had released this gem from his grasp. I turned around to look out the window, the lights of the city glinting back at me. “She’d make one hell of a vampire.” I said absentmindedly before stopping and looking over my shoulder at the woman. One hell of a vampire indeed.

               I snuffed out what was left of the cigarette before walking back over to the bed slowly. I held up my hand and broke the skin. I watched my blood start to well up from the wound before it closed. “Saeyoung is going to kill me.” I bit my wrist and sucked some of my blood into my mouth before leaning over her and pressing my lips to hers.

               Some of my blood dribbled from the corner of her lips as she coughed the rest of it down. When I knew that she had swallowed majority of it I covered her nose and mouth. She feebly tried to turn away from me and push my hand away but after a few minutes her body went limp. I leaned in and kissed her cheek before whispering in her ear. “Welcome to your new life, princess.”

[whogoesthere-cleveland-blog]

John’s Diner

The Place: John’s Diner Location: Lakewood, Ohio

Susan: John’s Diner - Where even your lowest expectations are already too high.

Shannon: Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they will finally be disappointed.

Overview of John’s Diner

Shannon: There is so much potential here. A great location, ample parking, and historic roots. Unfortunately John’s Diner doesn’t capitalize on any of this. In fact, their overt reluctance to give this joint the facelift it so badly deserves and turn it into that quaint nod to yesteryear should be an obvious indication of their all-around slapdash attitude. They aren’t really concerned with you, the patron, nor are they interested in helping continue to revitalize a city that’s recently been named one of the top ten most exciting suburbs in the nation by real estate blog, Movoto. The owners of John’s Diner are in business to serve, alright, but unfortunately all they seem to serve are their own interests.  Anchored at the corner of Detroit Avenue and Park Row in Lakewood, Ohio, it seems that John’s Diner has become a beacon for the downtrodden. I used to visit this place as a kid and recall many a happy Saturday mornings liberally applying packet after packet of grape jelly to my white toast or pouring stainless steel carafes of warm syrup all over my pancakes - griddle cakes in greasy spoon parlance. I even learned my first lesson in commerce at John’s Diner when I was tasked with a responsibility well beyond my years: ’Go on up to the counter and pay the check’ my mom would instruct as she handed me a well-worn collection of one dollar bills from her embroidered wallet and continued to smoke and jaw-jack with the other adults. But times have changed, and where there once existed home cooking served “piping hot as you like it” there is now only propaganda and neglect.

Susan: I’ve never been here before. My only reference to John’s Diner is when a friend of mine said the cook was smoking a cigarette while preparing food on the grill. Granted, this was back when one could still smoke in restaurants, but still, that had to be a health code violation even in the 90s. I’m supposed to add a description of the interior, but I don’t think mere words could do it justice. Authentic 50s diner front with a perhaps 60s addition. There’s an organ in the foyer that doesn’t work. The interior décor was both confusing and filthy, and if that’s a design aesthetic, they nailed it. Oddly framed prints or articles cut out of the newspaper hung askew on the walls. Some were sports related (but not necessarily Cleveland sports), but others were just random, faded “art”. I don’t know. Half of the ceiling fans were painted bright red and royal blue, though this did not match any color scheme in the restaurant or the other crud colored ceiling fans. The booths were crimson and Duct tape. It was strangely silent in there, except if one sits at the counter, then you can almost hear a radio playing Richard Marx.

After being seated, we both started off with coffee.

Susan: The coffee can best be described as mothball flavored hot water, but with an acrid, bitter aftertaste. I mean, I’m not really a coffee snob. I’ll drink diner coffee with the best of ‘em, but this was just a completely different animal. Like they really went out of their way to make it taste bad in a manner that no other diner coffee is bad. In this area, John’s Diner excelled.

Shannon: My guess is that maybe they were storing the mothballs too close to the industrial sized drum of Folgers crystal flakes - a coffee that may have fooled upscale coke heads at Tavern on the Green in the 80s, but wasn’t fooling us in the here and now. Coffee is a staple in diners across the land. Plus we live in an age where private roasteries are busting out all over and yet John’s Diner somehow manages to turn a blind eye to each and every local purveyor of quality beans, and instead goes with whatever generic blend they’ve been brewing since time immemorial. Coffee could be an easy and inexpensive fix that would immediately boost the dining experience and make patrons a little more forgiving about the rest of the troubling menu.

We both ordered simple meals:

Susan: I got the grilled cheese and fries. Uh, it was of a lower quality Denny’s variety. Very, very generic, however, I felt it was least likely to induce dysentery and therefore, my best choice. I ate it. It was unremarkable. I did not get sick. The bar was set low for John’s Diner. Shannon - I got a pretty generic breakfast. Scrambled eggs and pancakes.  I don’t want to brag, but I can make this stuff at home so I was kind of hoping a place specializing in breakfast might be able to create this dish with a little more elan than what I’m capable of. Not so. The scrambled eggs seemed to be hemorrhaging water, and the pancakes - Susan, you pointed out that they looked like McDonald’s hotcakes - also pretty much tasted like them.  Something I learned pretty quickly was that you need a backup plan for breakfast once you leave John’s Diner. I went to Starbucks immediately after and got the Gouda sandwich. Susan- Your breakfast was deemed “room temperature flavored”. Mmmm….Just like Gramma used to make!

We both worried about the elderly waitstaff:

Shannon: Maybe these waitresses (and let’s face it, they are waitresses; the word server somehow passed this generation by) are just looking for a way to make a little money during retirement or maybe John’s Diner is located in the Twilight Zone; either way, I worried they might be a little too old to be on their feet for that many hours per day; and quite possibly lacked the mental acuity to keep track of the myriad requests from each table. Then again, this job could be a punishment for a crime they committed in a past life and slinging hash at John’s Diner is their own brand of purgatory until they have atoned for their sins. I’m not really sure, I just know I felt uncomfortable being served by someone who already seemed to have outlasted their expiration date - although outlasting an expiration date seems to be a popular theme at John’s Diner. Susan: Yeah, a veteran wait staff, for sure. Ha! Your hypothesis was that these ladies were part of an octogenarian work re-entry program hosted by the Department of Aging. This would make me feel better if this were true. Otherwise, it’s kind of a bummer. But I will say, our waitress was very attentive and pretty nice. We did not want for anything (except for wanting to not be there). I would have felt bad if I had to ask for anything additional. Oh! Maybe that’s why the coffee is so God awful! These Golden Girls aren’t trying to run back and forth for refills all damned day long! OK, now it makes sense.

Who Goes There? Susan: Aging sea captains (primarily Greek), elderly men who live in boarding houses, a few regular people, a few regulars, and those that have lived a life of regret.

Shannon: People who never learn from their mistakes.

What philosophical school of thought would be most comfortable at John’s Diner?

Shannon: Nihilists and the hopeless.

Susan: No frills pragmatists with declining taste buds.

If John’s Diner were a TV show hangout, who would be a regular?

Susan: Maybe Archie Bunker...

Shannon: I could see Ralph Kramden stopping by every morning to shoot the breeze and fill his thermos with some of that signature hot mothball water.

Susan: In other words, curmudgeons with no more fucks to give.

Additional thoughts:

Shannon: I was pleased to see the smoking section had been relocated from the kitchen to a space out back with one plastic lawn chair. The last time I was there - which was easily a decade ago - the cook was standing over the grill with a cigarette hanging from his mouth and six inches of ash ready to drop and get scrambled out of existence. Another thing, it might not hurt to hire a professional cleaning crew. The waitstaff probably can’t really operate heavy water-soaked vintage mops anymore what with all those hip replacements and bad knees, so maybe once a week the owner could spring for a legitimate cleaning crew to swing by with a little bleach just to help ensure that the E. coli has less options for breeding.

Susan: Yeah, speaking of which, when I told a mutual acquaintance we went there she immediately said, “OH! Did you get sick? My friend just went there and she swears it made her sick!” What could I say other than, “Probably”?

Would you go back?

Shannon: Maybe. Like if the car broke down in front of the place right in the middle of a snow blizzard.

Susan: No. Not even then. I really can’t think of any circumstance that would compel me to return to John’s Diner. Oh, maybe on a dare. I would go on a dare if the stakes were high enough.

Is it a good place to bring Neal in a Baby Bjorn? Susan: I think yes, because the cleanliness standards are already so low. Why would they care if you brought a cat in there? What’s going to happen? He’s going to somehow “mess it up”? Bah hahahaha!  That’s absurd. At the very least, he would improve the overall experience for diners.

Shannon: Yes. Somebody has to catch the mice.

Hours of Operation and Payment Options: John’s Diner only accepts cash (and probably sobriety tokens and gold doubloons); and is open Monday through Saturday, 7 am - 8 pm and Sunday, 7 am - 3 pm

[arthursclozapine]

A Taste of Loneliness

A request for @colbynatorsforlife!!!!

TW lots of smut so don’t read if you are a kid or just aren’t into that sort of thing. Enjoy!

You were on stage, doing your routine act at Pogo’s comedy club. You noticed someone in the crowd with a very unique laugh. Very noticeable. When you finished your act, you were ready to go home, feeling weary. You actually worked 2 jobs, and were on the brink of poverty, living paycheque to paycheque. The only reason you worked was because being in comedy was your dream. You gathered up your stuff in a duffle bag when someone taps you on the shoulder.

“Yeah?” You said as you turned to look. A withered looking man looked back at me.

“I really liked your set. Oh yeah, I’m Arthur.” He complemented, giving me a handshake with a laugh.

“Oh! You’re the laughing guy! Glad you enjoyed my performance, I’m Y/N.” You introduced yourself. Arthur smiles broadly.

“I’m actually trying to get into comedy myself!” Arthur told.

“That’d be cool to watch. What if I got you a spot on stage sometime? Start you off somewhere.” I offered. Arthur’s mouth gaped.

“Y-you would do that for me?” He says, laughing loudly.

“Yeah, sure. We gotta help each other out in this sick, sad world.” I patted his shoulder. I turned to leave.

“Hey........ just a thought...... would you like to go maybe for coffee sometime?” Arthur’s voice went soft. I smiled at him.

“Well, actually I’m busy this week, but I think I’m free this Saturday. Is that cool?” You say.

“Yeah, that’s great. Meet you at the Mari cafe around 3?” he suggests.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” I respond.

“Thanks! See you later, Y/N!” Arthur said as he left.

Something about Arthur was so chill and loving. I chuckled at the idea of being with him. Who knows what could happen. I guess I just have make ends meet, and work and work until I saw him again.

Saturday lunchtime.

I sat by myself at the cafe we agreed to meet at. It was half past 3 by now. I already ordered a earl grey waiting for Arthur. The hanging door bells sounded. I turn to look and saw Arthur. My heart jumped.

“Hey! Y/N! I’m here!” Arthur came flying through the door, looking flushed.

“It’s just my mum, she had to go to the hospital.....” he disclosed.

“Oh my! I’m so sorry? How is she?” I pried.

“Well, she’s—she’s older. I don’t think she’s gonna make it.” Arthur laments. I feel bad.

“I’m so sorry Arthur, I know it’s a bad time, you can go if you want.” I offer.

“No. You’re the only thing keeping me sane right now.” His voice was low. I felt a tinge of....... fear?

“Um.....I..” I looked down.

“Sorry. I just get too into my head sometimes.” He was back to his perky self. Something was seeming a bit off with Arthur— who am I kidding? I just met him 3 days ago! I just wanted to help him...

“I’m so over with all of this gloom and doom. Why not just put a smile on your face?” I grinned at him. He smiled widely.

“Listen, Arthur. I really admire you, your work. It takes guts to be who you are in this world. I’m so glad to call you my friend!” I gushed.

“Just friends?” He flirted. I shook my head laughing.

“You’re pretty straight forward for such a shy guy.” I tempted.

“I do my best.” He smiles.

“Hey....... wanna get out of here? Have drinks at my place? I promise they’re better than here.” Arthur flirts some more. I laughed.

“You know what? Why not. Things can only go up from here.” I reasoned with myself.

“Sure, Arthur. Let’s go.”

We left in a cab that Arthur paid for, going toward his house. We stopped outside a apartment building in a not so desirable neighbourhood. I felt sad about how everything was looking worn and torn down.

“Here we are. Please come in.” Arthur escorts me inside first. Inside it was really warm, and illuminated. A far cry from what was outside.

“Let me take your coat....” Arthur did as he said.

“Really homey here.” I comment.

“And now we’ve got it all to ourselves.” He toyed.

Wasn’t he just mourning his mum??????

I brushed hair from my face, symbolically brushing away that notion.

“Can’t wait time see what you have in store.” I teased, purposely moving my hand down my side. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I came over to Arthur, brushing my hand against his cheek. He closed his eyes as we finally kissed. It was almost like I waited for this to happen for 4. Whole. Days. Arthur caressed my body softly, and that made my core tingle.

“Oh, Arthur.............” I moan. He laughs quietly, then goes back to kissing.

“Mmmm, you’re so beautiful, Y/N......” Arthur mused.

“I can’t wait to show you the things I want to do to you...” he looked into my eyes then.

“Show me.” I smirked. He took me by the hand and led me backward into the bedroom. He placed me on the edge, sitting next to me. We continued kissing, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. He helped my pull off my shirt, and I did the same to him. In a moment, we were both naked. He started to caress me again, my skin felt on fire wherever we touched. He moved lower, and started to stroke my clit.

“Arthur.......” I moan, tossing my head back. I was completely touch starved. Haven’t been able to keep a partner. His soft movements were already bringing me close to cumming.

“Arthur yes!” I squirmed. He grinned, pleased by knowing how much you wanted him.

“Ride me.” He commanded. You did as told. Now the both of you were moaning and enjoying each other. You sighed with pleasure as you felt his hardness sliding in an out of you.

“Oh, Arthur......!” You moan, feeling yourself about to cum.

“You’re perfect! Y/N, you are so perfect!” Arthur cries.

The both of you cum at almost the same time. You let him stay inside you for a little longer as you kiss him some more.

“Arthur, you were so good......” You complimented.

“Really?” He seemed shy all of a sudden.

“Really.” I respond.

“That’s strange, considering this was my first time.” Arthur confesses. You were a little surprised.

“You’re kidding.” You say.

“Not this time, darling.” He said, lighting up a cigarette.

We lay there naked on the bed for a while, just enjoying each other’s company. You stayed the night, holding onto him as you both fell into a deep sleep, dark and dreamless. In the morning, Arthur wakes you.

“Want some coffee?” He offers. You smile.

“Sure.” You reply, getting dressed. You come into the kitchen and see him. Such a vision.

“Here you go.” He poured fresh coffee into a mug. You take it graciously, siping it and enjoying the moment. He drank some too.

“How is it?” He asks.

“Good, good.” You reply. He smiles.

“It’s how my mother likes it.” He remarked. I nod.

“She’s got good taste.” You comment with a laugh.

Monday morning.

You waited for Arthur to come backstage at the comedy club. He came just in time, coming in the back door.

“Good! You made it! You’re about to go on, in like 3 minutes! Ready, Arthur?” You drilled. You noticed Arthur had a book with him. He held it close.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” He laughed. You smile.

“Good! Break a leg out there!” You pat him on the back. He then turned, and kissed you, which kinda caught you off guard. You smiled hard.

“Thanks!” He called as he went on stage. You watch him with fervour. You didn't know what you two were, but you felt strongly about him!

His routine was great, could use a little pointers, but he really pleased the crowd.

“How was I?” Arthur buzzes. He looked so happy. You smiled at him.

“You were amazing!” You compliment. He smiled hard.

“We have to celebrate!” You suggest.

“Yes, right now.” Arthur said with determination. He grabbed you close, kissing you. He took you by the waist into the bathroom and locked the door.

“Mmmmm Arthur!” You moaned. He propped you up onto the sink, pulling you skirt up and pulling your panties down. You looked at he pulled down his trousers and seen that he was already hard.

“Arthur!” You whimper as he enters you.

You feel shockwaves of pleasure ripping through out your body. Arthur thrusted. Hard.

“You like that?” He muttered.

You toss your head back as you once again we’re about to cum.

“Yes! Arthur, I love it! I’m—I’m going to cum!” You exclaimed. Arthur grins.

“Do it. Cum for me.” Arthur kept thrusting in and out of you as you came. A short time away, Arthur came too, pulling out, his cum dripping out of you.

“Look at my dirty girl!” He teased, kissing you hard. You enjoyed every moment.

“That was actually amazing!” You compliment breathlessly.

“Thanks for helping me celebrate, Y/N, I couldn’t ask for more.” Arthur thanked you in a slightly teasing tone.

He helped you clean up, and the both of you went out.

You both walked on the avenue, slowly, looking at the lights, and watching the people.

“Arthur, I’ve been meaning to ask you.....” you begin. He looks at you.

“Yeah?” He says.

“What are we?” You ask, immediately regretting it. Arthur bit his lip.

“Whatever you want us to be.” He concedes. This wasn’t enough.

“Arthur. I want to be with you, but I want you to want to be with me.” You felt tears well in your eyes.

“Please don’t cry. Please. I love you, but I was too afraid to say it to you. I the truth is I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I need to be with you. You’re mine.” He confesses. He comes close to you, holding you as you cried. He kissed you on the forehead.

“No more crying. Put on a happy face.” He spreads your lips into a big smile with his thumbs. You sniffle, trying to cheer up for him.

“Arthur, I love you” you admit.

“I love you too, Y/N....... I mean it.” He kissed your mouth.

“I’ve been waiting a long time to hear that.” You smile.