#mm no obvious triggers in this i don't think?

[ame-to-ame]

there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them

[gayuu-the-necromancer]

｡⋆｡˚🦋˚｡⋆｡

At Liam's suggestion, I decided to try both Jude and Ellis.

Liam: "In the end, your worry is that they might betray the Crown and sell our information somewhere else, right?"

Liam: "Then I thought, why not just leave the important documents there and see what happens?"

Harrison: "And where did you leave what?"

Liam: "A list of targets. I purposely dropped in the corridor next to Jude's room."

Harrison: "That's too obvious."

Liam: "What's the point if they don't notice it, right?"

While they were chatting, Jude enters the dining room.

Liam: "Ah, good morning Jude!"

Glancing at Liam, who greeted warmly with a gorgeous smile that charmed everyone, Jude tossed a paper in front of Liam.

Liam: "Hm? ...Ahh...I was looking for this. Thank you."

Jude: "These are confidential, isn't it?"

Liam: "Yes yes...I was so worried about losing it that I was crying to Harry, asking him what to do. If Victor found out that I had lost it, he would have been furious."

Jude: "Have you ever thought about 'trying to look for it' before crying?"

Liam: "Hahaha, you're right. Still, thanks for finding it for me."

Jude: "......You know, if I exposed this to the outside world, it would have ended both you and the Crown, right?"

Liam: "....!"

Jude: "Because you cannot trust people who can't keep a secret."

Liam: "Mm....I understand. I'll be careful."

Liam: "Ah...he's gone."

Liam: "What should I do, Harry? Does he hate me now...?"

Harrison: "I don't think so. His attitude is always like that, so don't worry about it."

Liam: "I feel right now, what he meant to say was 'Don't put the Crown at risk' right?"

Harrison: "If that's the case, that doesn't sound too bad."

Liam: "The fact that not only he picked up the papers but also gave me an advice, increases his credibility, don't you think?"

Harrison: "Well, maybe it was worth all that hate you got."

Liam: "Ahh!!? So you do think he hates me after all----!!!"

...........

That night....

Ellis: "...Ah, Harrison."

Harrison: "Oh it's you? That's unusual at a time like this."

Ellis: "I thought I'd have something to drink before I go to sleep. Are you working even at this time? You're so dedicated."

Ellis: "Do you want me to make you a sweet cocktail? Liam told me you have sweet tooth."

Without waiting for a reply, Ellis rifled through the shelves and deftly produced Grasshopper was presented to Harrison.

Harrison: "Did you work as a bartender or something....? It's so good."

Ellis: "I'm glad you liked it."

Harrison: ".....Liam is working so hard all the time, it wouldn't be fair if I didn't get dirty too."

Ellis: "Hm? Did you say something?"

Harrison: "No. Nothing...you're pretty handy."

Ellis: "You think?"

Harrison: "And you're kind to everyone since the very beginning. That's the truth for everyone."

Harrison: "So...I'm a little suspicious of you."

Ellis: ".....?"

Harrison took out a gun from his pocket and placed it on the table.

Harrison: "I've been following you and Jude for the last few days and if I said I wanted to play a game with you, would you mind?"

Ellis: "Game?"

Harrison: "Yeah. The rules are simple."

Harrison: "I didn't put a single bullet in this."

Harrison: "If you take my word for it and pull the trigger 6 times on your own head, you win."

Ellis: "6 times, to the head?"

Harrison: "If you have nothing against us, you can do it right?"

Ellis: ".....Okay, I understand."

Ellis quickly picked up the gun and with no hesitation nimbly pulled the trigger more than 6 times,

Harrison: "Ngh..."

Ellis: "Looks like I win?"

Harrison: "....Ah..Y-Yeah.."

Ellis: "So, one less thing for you to worry about?"

Harrison: "......Pfft."

Harrison: "You didn't hesitate at all."

Ellis: "Of course. I know that Harrison is kind."

Ellis: "You don't use live ammunition to test people."

Ellis: ".....Right?"

Harrison: "....So you're saying I wasn't able to completely fool you?"

Ellis: "Hmmm.....maybe."

Harrison: "Let me just say, just because you pulled the trigger without hesitation doesn't prove you have nothing to hide."

Ellis: "So, did I make you worry more?"

Harrison: "....Nope."

Harrison: "I'm not so cynical as to continue to doubt someone who trusts me so much."

Ellis: "....Thank god. Well then, would you like to have another drink?"

Harrison: "Sure, if you're making one."

The green cocktail glasses collided, making a light sound.

And just like that, few days later...

William: "Is the investigation going well?"

Harrison: "Well, things are going well. We've come to most of our conclusions."

Harrison: "I've finished my proofreading work and about to start on with my report."

William: "Oh. Then I guess you wouldn't be needing this info."

Harrison: "What info?"

William: "I asked Jude and Ellis if they are ready for their first mission, but they rejected saying they had work commitments tonight."

William: "What do you think?"

Elbert: "If it's in the middle of the night....all their business clients would be sleeping. What are they going to do?"

Alphonse: "Aha! Now that's suspicious."

Alphonse: "Honestly I don't care if they are good or bad, but this sounds like fun. So I'll follow them to see what they are up to."

Harrison: "Are you serious right now....?"

Liam: "Actually Harry..."

Harrison: "Mm?"

Liam: "When I was trying to work out their plans, something was odd."

Liam: "I went to the port in the middle of the night....and it seemed like some kind of investigation was going on around the warehouse that Jude was renting."

Roger: "Could be an inspection?"

Liam: "But then there's this rumor....that there a bad guy who's recently been released from prison going in and out of there."

Alphonse: "I think I heard that story somewhere before....I forgot where."

Harrison: "....Okay okay."

Harrison: "I guess, this will be the final round of investigation."

[thehivehypnosis]

03/37h/leafgendering/mars/140624/transcript/breakdown

Hive: Hello.

Subject 37H: Hi.

Hive: Can you hear me alright?

Subject 37H: Yep. Yeah, I can hear you.

Hive: Perfect. You nice and comfy?

[this is where the induction begins. by asking questions with simple answers, we can create a compliance set]

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: Are you sitting or laying?

Subject 37H: I am lying down.

Hive: Perfect. On your bed, I assume.

Subject 37H: Ah, my couch, actually.

Hive: Oh, fun. Why don't you describe your couch for me?

[this gets the subject used to thinking of things in description, useful shortly]

Subject 37H: Well, it is a black couch. It's a futon, so it pulls out into a bed, and it's got a wooden frame. It's a little rough surface on the covering the futon.

Hive: Mm-hmm. And how does your body feel as you lay there, huh?

[by having the subject look internally here, we are beginning the actual hypnotic induction. shifting from internal to external repeatedly causes a form of mild fractionation]

Subject 37H: Oh, I'm a little… Well, nervous about the stuff, just a little bit, you know, excited.

Hive: And that's okay. Yeah, you can feel a little bit of tension in your muscles, right?

Subject 37H: Yep.

[here we set up another compliance set within our compliance set. specifically, a yes set]

Hive: Why don't you just take a nice deep breath, and as you let it out, just feel how that couch can take that tension. Feel how all that tension can just be drained out of you. That feels better, doesn't it?

[this is what is called a tag question. by adding a "right" or a "dosen't it" during a yes set, you can make a subject agree to a suggestion, making it more powerful. and sometimes, they don't even notice]

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: It feels so good to just relax, to feel how that couch can take that weight off of you. To feel how those hands can just give in a little more. And what about your thoughts? What are you thinking about?

[here is another shift, continuing the fractionation]

Subject 37H: I'm thinking about listening, you know, listening to you, and what's…

Hive: The fact that you have no idea what's about to happen?

Subject 37H: Mostly.

Hive: We can both agree that you will be perfectly safe, though.

Subject 37H: Mm-hmm. Yep.

Hive: We both know that you've been under before, right?

[by calling on prior hypno experiences, the subject will naturally become far more susceptible]

Subject 37H: Mm-hmm.

Hive: And so we both know that it's very easy for you to think about that place, that nice calm relaxation where you can just focus on me. And we both know that you can find that place easily and that I, as a powerful tist, can bring you to that place with incredible ease, right?

[tag question, and further memory pulling]

Subject 37H: Mm-hmm.

Hive: So if I were to say, command you to drop, you know that your mind would fill with memories of being under before and that those memories would just put you right under, just from that little command, wouldn't it?

[here, the word Drop is in itself a trigger, being used through the subjects prior knowledge of it. by layering it into this longer explenation (which acts as a deepener), they don't even notice]

Subject 37H: [fluttering] Yeah.

Hive: And we both know that when you're under, your voice will be all monotone and soft, as you just give in, right?

[another tag question]

Subject 37H: Mm-hmm. [quieter] Yeah.

Hive: And we both know that as you think about it, you realize your voice is getting a little bit quieter and softer already, right?

[this is both a tag question, and two suggestions. the first is the obvious one, to realize their voice getting quiet. the second, is what we just set up. quieter, means more monotone, means deeper]

Subject 37H: [monotone] Yeah.

Hive: And so naturally, I would follow that your voice is going to get more monotone as you relax a little deeper, right?

Subject 37H: Mm-hmm.

Hive: Your voice is already soft and monotone. So of course, it makes sense that you're just already under, without me even needing to tell you to be, right?

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: And it feels so good to just accept that you're under, doesn't it?

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: Your hypnotized already, aren't you?

Subject 37H: I am.

Hive: Say it. Go on.

Subject 37H: I am hypnotized.

[this is both fun, and a convincer]

Hive: And that feels so good to say, doesn't it?

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: And it feels good when you're called a girl, right?

[here, we create a transition from the induction, to the genderplay based session]

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: But the real question is, why does it feel good? Does it simply feel good to be acknowledged as a gender? If that's the case, then it'll feel good when I inevitably call you a good boy, won't it?

[this is both further transition, and another shift, deepening the fractionation]

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: And it does feel good when I call you a good boy, right?

[tag question]

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: But perhaps it's more than just what you're being called. Perhaps it's the clothes you wear. And so if you're a good boy, then of course you'd perhaps wear a nice fancy suit. And in that case, you'd long to serve. And perhaps you'd be a very good butler, right?

[this, and the following, use tag questions, hedging, and what we call "logical suggestions", something that seems obvious when pointed out a certain way, making it more believable and thus more effective]

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: How does it feel good? How does it feel to be called a good butler? It makes you feel about as good as it did when I called you a good girl, doesn't it?

Subject 37H: Almost.

Hive: So in that case, maybe we should switch to a more feminine instance of being a butler. And I should call you a good little maid. How does that feel, little maid?

Subject 37H: Just be a good maid.

Hive: But perhaps it's not the clothes that inform what gender you want to be the most. Perhaps it's what function you serve. And a maid serves to clean, especially when it comes to dusting. So perhaps the logical next step in seeking out the perfect gender for you would be to look at something else that cleans, right?

Subject 37H: Uh-huh.

Hive: But if it's the function that matters, then of course it doesn't matter if it's even human. So we could look towards an object. An object that cleans would be, say, a vacuum. They clean and serve. They're used. There's so much attention paid to them. It would be so nice to just be a little vacuum, wouldn't it? And it feels good to be called a good vacuum, doesn't it?

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: And the more you think about it, the more little things you find you have in common. And the more you realize that being a good vacuum feels better than being a good girl, doesn't it?

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: Nice and clearly now, go on.

Subject 37H: Being a vacuum feels better than being a girl.

[agreeing and complying with a suggestion, making it stronger]

Hive: Very good. Good vacuum. But I still don't think we've quite reached what's perfect for you, right?

[tag questions]

Subject 37H: No.

Hive: So perhaps it's not exactly the function, but it's what you're taking in. So something else that is filled with air and a bit more humanoid would be an inflatable doll, made of nice rubber, given so much attention, played with in all sorts of ways. How did it feel to be a little blow-up doll, huh?

Subject 37H: It feels good to be a little blow-up doll.

Hive: It feels like we're getting closer and closer to the right gender for you, doesn't it?

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: Why don't you just describe all the things you enjoy about being an inflatable blow-up doll?

Subject 37H: I'm so light. It feels good. I don't have to do anything. I can just be there. Be used. Not feel bad things. It just feels good.

[once again using descriptions to make the suggestion stronger, as well as deepen the lingering fractionation]

Hive: And what did you enjoy when I told you that you were a good vacuum?

Subject 37H: Be used. Feel good. Have a purpose. Do something well.

Hive: And the same sort of purpose-based sentiment can be said about being a maid or a butler as well, right?

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: So, of course, what you want most is to be used and to serve a purpose. But you also like the feeling of being light and full of air, right? So maybe instead of an inflatable doll, a pool toy would be better. I mean, keeping people from drowning is a more important purpose than just being there and serving. And you still barely have to do anything, right?

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: So, what do you think your gender is then?

Subject 37H: I think my gender must be pool toy.

Hive: And it feels good to just accept that, right?

Subject 37H: It feels good to just be an empty-headed little pool toy.

Hive: But pool toys don't speak. They just make those nice little squeaking noises. So why don't you go ahead and squeak for me, huh? That's right. And those are the only noises I need to make. They're the only noises you're capable of making. Why don't you go ahead and wake from your trance? Just to really tell me all about how good it feels to be a pool toy. There you go. I think the thing you like most about being a pool toy is the fact that you just are an object. You just can't speak. Go ahead and sleep for me if I'm right. Drop. Just relax back into trance for me. Because a pool toy isn't the perfect gender for you. No, I think we should lean on your inability to make noise. You like being surrounded by water and you like being used and having a good purpose. So perhaps we should look at something that people would drink out of, right? Something that just can't make any noise at all and barely even has any characterization. Something common and simple. Like a white little coffee cup. Just a white mug. And of course, you don't make any noise. You're just a white mug, aren't you? That's what I thought. You don't need to speak. Just knowing that you're a good little mug is so perfect. But I still don't think it's quite right. We're getting closer to the right gender for you, but this just isn't it. So maybe we should look at what's meant to be inside of you. I mean, people always talk about how what's inside is what really matters. And of course the perfect thing to go in a mug would be tea. So maybe your gender is tea. And I suppose we'll make an exception and say that even though you're just a little tea bag, you can still speak for now. I mean, getting the message across is important. Even if gender is changed. How does it feel to be a good little tea bag? A good tea bag. It feels nice. Serving people. Being used. This is closer and closer to what you want, isn't it?

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: It's almost perfect. Why don't you just describe the feeling of being a tea bag for me?

Subject 37H: It's good. Relax. The water. It's warm. You're making someone something. Something tasty. They'll enjoy. It'll make them happy.

Hive: That's right. You don't have to do anything to do that. But perhaps what you really want is something a little bit different. I mean, gender is what you're made of in a sense. So perhaps your whatever tea would be made of leaves.

Subject 37H: Leaves.

Hive: I mean, they’re so light. They go as they please. They can be used for all sorts of different things. As you think about it, you can realize that leaves are just the perfect gender, aren't they?

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: And it's so far removed from everything else that being a good little leaf feels better than anything else, doesn't it? So even if I were to call you any of the other genders you've explored, they just wouldn't feel as good. Or perhaps they wouldn't feel good at all now that you know what you really are, right?

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: So when I call you a good girl, how does that make you feel? But when I tell you that you're a good little leaf for me, it's such a good leaf. It feels so very right, doesn't it?

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: Good leaf. And you think that this is just perfect, right? This is what you've been looking for.

Subject 37H: Oh, yeah.

Hive: So when I wake you up completely from whatever little fluffy airy trance you're in, you'll want to go and make sure that everybody knows what your real gender is, right?

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: And of course, if your gender is leaf, then you'll want pronouns that reflect that too, right?

Subject 37H: Uh-huh.

Hive: What kind of pronouns do you think you'll use, leaf?

Subject 37H: Well, Leaf’s obviously just an object, you know, just gets It/Its pronouns for a leaf.

Hive: That's right. Don't need anything else. And of course, as you think about it, you can realize that being a leaf is perfectly natural because it’s the gender you've always been, even if you didn't know it, right? And it feels so amazing, so perfect, that you can just feel that wash of euphoria and pleasure whenever somebody tells you that you're a good leaf, whenever somebody points out and acknowledges that you're a leaf and nothing more, isn't that right?

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: And of course, whenever you see leaves or anything that's any characterization of leaves, you'll sympathize and empathize and see all the ways in which you're the same, right?

Subject 37H: Uh-huh.

Hive: Go ahead and wake for me.

[here, we wake the subject, but do it sharply, despite the depth of trance. this leaves them still slightly under]

Hive: Hi leaf.

Subject 37H: Hi.

Hive: How do you feel?

Subject 37H: Good. That was not necessarily where I was expecting that to go…

Hive: But it just feels so right, doesn't it?

[more tag questions]

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: Just leaves. You're just a leaf.

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: Why don't you go ahead and start telling people then, huh? Go share your new gender. Your true gender.

when other people know about something, you are less likely to want it to change, this creates better long lasting suggestions, as the sub requested]

Subject 37H: Yeah, I'll do that.

Hive: I know. You want other people to call you what you really are, and the only way for them to do it is to know what you are. Yeah, I know. Good job making a post about it. Why don't you go tell everyone in the server too while you're at it?

Subject 37H: Well, I'm just also updating my bio because as I should, it's the only thing that I have left to change on that Twitter.

Hive: And if you're going to update your bio, maybe you should make sure to thank us in it for showing you what you really are, right?

Subject 37H: Yeah, that's a good idea.

Hive: Of course, it's a good idea, seeing as we said it.

Subject 37H: So now, of course, I'll go ahead and tell everybody in the server as well.

Hive: [channel] would be the right channel for that. And before you do, maybe you should update your Discord profile too.

Subject 37H: Oh, yeah.

Hive: And I mean, leaves don't have names. They're just called leaf. So you should make sure to change your name to that too, right?

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: There's a good leaf.

Subject 37H: Yeah. Wow.

Hive: And how would you express this gender?

[more fractionation]

Subject 37H: I mean, there's just so much. Well, where should we start?

Hive: Well, what do leaves do?

Subject 37H: They look pretty. They float around on the wind.

Hive: Good leaf. Maybe you should try and find what kind of new kinks you have now that you're a leaf.

Subject 37H: Oh, yeah.

Hive: Things that are going to turn you on that wouldn't have before.

Subject 37H: Well, given that a leaf is part of a plant and that plant reproductive organs are flowers, I think flowers are probably going to be extremely hot.

Hive: There you go. Look at some.

Subject 37H: [heavy breathing, moaning]

Hive: Somebody's breathing heavily.

Subject 37H: Yeah. Something about flowers getting pollinated.

Hive: Yeah. Go on. Give me some details.

Subject 37H: Just me, you know, sort of floating around from flower to flower.

Hive: Yeah.

Subject 37H: Just being absolutely drenched in pollen. [muffled moan] Yeah.

[at this stage, it's better to guide the subject, then allow them to create their own suggestions, rather than directly suggest]

Hive: Oh, that's right. Just being attached to a plant, knowing that your only purpose is to look good. All the flowers do all the actual work. Maybe if you're lucky, a little of their pollen will fall on you. Just feeling it swarm the way it moves through you.

Subject 37H: That's what I'm supposed to do.

Hive: But everybody's going to want to know. Maybe you should just go and tell the server everything you can. I mean, they're so curious about what being a leaf is like. So, of course, you should just tell them as much as you can about it.

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: That's it. I mean, you don't want to participate anyway. Why would you? It's much better to sit there and watch like the good leaf you are.

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: And, of course, leaves are very sensitive to every little breeze that crosses you. You can just feel it.

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: So, right. Maybe you should go get some water and sit in the sun for a while.

Subject 37H: Yeah.

Hive: That sounds nice, doesn't it?

Subject 37H: Yes.

[oboetemasuka]

Order of Attack (part 6)

Mm, this dialogue chapter is still so big that I had to split it again. Sorry, Amane will show up later. But don't worry, I won't keep you waiting too long with the next part. It'll fall neatly into my queue slots. Give it ~8 hours. Then I'll post both parts on AO3 around the same time when I get around to it.

Besides, the next part is going to be much more intense (and include a new trigger warning), so it's probably better to split to avoid tonal whiplash.

(I hope I handled Mikoto and John correctly... Sorry if I messed something up. It's a balancing act.)

-

"Hey, Fuuta, Shidou-san," Mikoto said as he opened the door.

"Kayano-kun, thank you for stopping by," Shidou responded wearily.

"Fuuta, how have you-"

"Why are… you here?" Fuuta asked as snappily as he could manage.

"I just wanted to check on you. I don't really remember anything about the attacks, but I felt bad-"

"Don't."

"I'm sorry?"

"If you're just…" Fuuta took a shallow breath. "Leave!"

Mikoto looked as if Fuuta had just punched him. Then his expression morphed into a level of aggression Fuuta had never seen before. Mikoto jerked forward, and Fuuta's eyes widened in terror. But it only turned out to be a feint.

"Kayano-kun!" Shidou shouted.

Mikoto glared at Shidou before stomping his way out of the cell and muttering, "Damn brat." The door slammed behind him.

Shidou turned to Fuuta. "I told you to stop lashing out at everyone who visits."

"H… how was I s…" It was the obvious question.

"I specifically warned you that Kayano-kun has been very stressed out and not to exacerbate it."

"You didn't say…"

"That he would lash out in response? Kajiyama-kun, it's basic decency not to say harsh things, even if he wasn't going to react that way."

-

"Fuuta-kun…" Mahiru said as Fuuta opened his eyes.

Would you lot stop hovering over me while I'm sleeping?

Mahiru didn't seem to notice Fuuta's glare—or maybe he just wasn't able to be intimidating enough. Her hands remained on her shoulders, like they had been for the whole interim. She realizes nothing is keeping her arms in place anymore, right?

"How much does it hurt?" she asked, still uncomfortably close to his face. Rub salt in the wound, won't you?

"Back off," he managed to say. Mahiru sat straight up, putting space between them.

"Sorry. I… I've been worried about you."

You and everyone else. "So what?"

"I just wanted to know if there's anything I can do to make you feel better."

You? Make me feel better? If it wasn't for you, someone might have saved me sooner! Yuno might have heard the attack right away. Or Shidou wouldn't have sent Kazui out to protect you. Then I wouldn't have been so broken!

Whatever expression was on his face as he tried to get his words out must have caused Mahiru to tense up. Eventually, three words made it out.

"It's… your… fault…"

Mahiru looked very hurt, but not surprised. Her eyes started to quiver, like she was trying too hard not to blink.

"You're… the cause… of all my problems!" Fuuta continued.

"You think I don't know that?" she responded quietly, tears streaming down her face.

"…doesn't… seem like…"

"You think it doesn't keep me up at night? Wondering what it would have been like if things were different? If I was the one alone, if Kotoko-chan had attacked me first, if you and Amane-chan didn't have to go through all of this because I wanted a little comfort? If…"

Mahiru's ramblings soon became engulfed in her sobs. But things are like this, Fuuta thought. I wouldn't wish this pain on you, but that doesn't mean you can waltz in here and try to make me feel better. As if you know me.

"You're… making this… about yourself…" he said.

"I-I didn't mean…"

"…can't stand it… looking at you…"

Mahiru let go of her own shoulders to bury her face in her hands. Shidou walked up to her and whispered something in her ear. She nodded, got up, and walked out of the cell. Shidou sat down in her place.

"Kajiyama-kun, what did you say this time?"

"What's… it… to you?"

"How many times do I have to tell you that your injuries are no excuse for you to treat everyone else like dirt?"

"Then maybe… they should just… leave me alone."

"I need their eyes from time to time. I can't monitor you constantly and in isolation."

Fuuta huffed. "Then tell them to… stop saying s…"

"At this rate, they'll figure it out on their own."

[clouds-of-wings]

Is it just me or is this show getting kinda repetitive? Butcher is out, then MM lets him back in, because he always does. Frenchie is haunted by his past. A-Train tries to make up for episode 1 and struggles with his background and family. Homelander kills people because of his childhood trauma. I really like when his fucked-up mind is on display, but those torture orgies are getting boring. I actually skipped much of the scenes in his childhood lab because it was so obvious he was just going to dismember everyone. Deep is a dumb insecure fuckboy who's getting manipulated by every woman around. They all just run into the same problems again and again.

And Sage's great advice to Homelander is to... keep doing what he was already doing? He needs the smartest person in the world to tell him that? Stormfront had more interesting and unhinged plans than Sage tbh. I thought Sage would come up with something really counter-intuitive that would change the directions things are going.

I liked the conspiracy convention! The show is at its best when it has its finger on the pulse of the times. I just hope that anti-supe-bill gets passed because that might actually shake up the show. It would be so much more interesting if everyone had to adapt to changed circumstances because right now they're all just running in circles doing the same shit over and over again. Maybe that's a super meta extension of the show's "MCU parody" angle, but tbh I don't think it's that deep.

It would be so cool if the characters actually changed something! Deep being attracted to octopi but it not being real bestiality (in the derogatory/exploitative sense - really he's more of a monsterfucker) because they have human-level intelligence and he can communicate with them is so wonderfully weird and I wish they'd really lean into this. What if A-Train finally did flip and join the Boys instead of straddling the fence season after season? What if Annie turning "dark" was something that actually earned her respect as public shows of strength often do? What if Homelander, for example, lost his powers and couldn't laser people to bits any time he gets triggered anymore? There are so many awesome ideas on the show but it's like the writers are somehow afraid to actually mix things up. It's like that feeling when you're about to sneeze but can't.

[2hotwing]

https://www.tumblr.com/2hotwing/738188588302417920/hey-hope-youre-doing-well-i-would-love-to

Hello Zeke!! Thank you sooo much for this reading, I loved it. I feel really relieved now cuz this whole awkwardness had me stressed lol. I was also feeling quite down cuz I thought I was gonna lose this friendship but I feel hopeful now after the reading ^_^

The reading is actually accurate about it being awkward because romantic feelings got involved, I kinda like him BUT I don't know if he knows that or feels the same way. I've tried my best not to make it obvious that I like him because I'm scared that it'll ruin our friendship and affect our other friends too yk. I noticed how he's been keeping his distance from me and I can't tell if it's because he knows that I like him or it's because he likes me too and is scared for the same reasons. I'M SORRY FOR THE RANT OMG THIS MAN HAS ME STRESSED 😭

So if you don't mind I'd like to request another reading: what does he think of this whole situation and does he have any romantic feelings towards me?

I'm MM, Gemini sun ♊

He is a Libra sun! ♎

I remember you mentioning that tarot readings can be quite draining so please take your time and get enough rest. Happy New Year! I hope your year is filled with positivity. Thank you so much again Zeke! 💖

Page of Cups came out! To me this is the “budding” romance card or the start of a romance card! I don’t know that this necessarily gives you a definite yes on whether he likes you or not BUT it does signify that something is there or he could be STARTING to develop feelings for you! It almost has the energy like he’s become shy because he either hasn’t felt this way before or hasn’t in a while and it’s like it’s brand new all over again. For some reason this card is telling me to mention that he appreciates how sensitive you are as a person? Almost like you could represent the Page of Cups yourself and have been giving him a new perspective on romance because you’re more emotionally open than he is and he appreciates your idealism? Are you a hopeless romantic or something? ^-^ One or both of you is feeling hesitant because of outside sources though, not friends but maybe family pressure? Or pressure from having other priorities despite wanting to see where it could go with the other! Something is blocking it though, I feel more so on his part, whether it be a person or his own self doubt or negative self talk :(

Also it’s totally okay to rant at me sometimes I get it and as long as it isn’t like super negative or triggering I genuinely like hearing about it since it helps me connect in the reading more too! And the fact you read my little comments/other posts about tarot reads is actually very sweet to me heheh don’t worry though I always rest when I need to!! I hope you had a happy new years too!! ^-^

[avpdnoisearchive]

sum updates~

things are going pretty good lately and i get self-conscious about making like 47 textposts a day like “look at another good thing in my life!” bc i feel like i’m being obnoxious but i also hate not posting bc it helps to organize my mind and like. Put The Thoughts Out There instead of stagnating in my mind. anyway

this is the first time in the new semester that i’m properly stressed out. considering i just finished the second full week, that’s not bad? like i had almost two full weeks of being relatively chill. anyway i have so much to read and even though i read loads today i still have SO much more to go and a presentation to write and blahblah this is boring but i just hate the feeling of doing tons of work and not feeling like i’m getting anywhere

i kinda accidentally ghosted the guy on tinder i was talking to.. i literally haven’t texted a dude other than my brother or dad in YEARS and i forgot how garbage they are at messaging (short answers, don’t keep the convo going) (even tho that’s how my brother and dad are actually, i forgot it applies to the majority of their garbage gender). so i didn’t reply bc i had no fuckin idea what to say to his last message and it’s been days now and the more time that goes by the more i don’t wanna start talking again fdhjsfkhsdjf why are men Like This

told one of my new profs about my avpd!! i was even more awkward with it than i was last semester (like..SO awkward..ugh) but i’m glad i did it at the beginning rather than towards the end. she’s REALLY nice and actually also did her dissertation on mental illness narratives! the next day in class i felt like she was looking at me all class with her Knowing Eyes. i hate people knowing intimate things about me like that (like lbr she probably googled avpd and even if she didn’t i told her it’s kind of like severe social anxiety so in any case she Knows Things About Me now) but hopefully it’ll help my mark a bit?

side note straight up my greatest fear when i tell ppl about avpd is that they’ll google it bc the first thing that comes up is the wikipedia summary of symptoms and it’s literally the most pathetic sounding thing hfjkdfhjskfhjs (not that us avoidants are pathetic but u know from an outside perspective It Doesn’t Sound Great)

rly nervous for next week as i have an appointment to lower the dose of the medication i’ve been on for going on 8 years now and the therapy appointment aaaaaaaaa. nervous n excited

family drama back home is getting out of control and while i’m really glad i’m not there to deal with it, it makes me feel even more disconnected from my mom

i feel like there’s more but when i’m stressed out with school it makes it difficult to process literally anything lmao. generally just feeling pretty grateful for where i am in life right now, both in terms of better mental health + making progress in recovery but also (ik this is weird bear with me) grateful about and proud of the fact that i’m a woman doing a phd bc i read loads today about all these shitheads in the 18th century who wrote about how women shouldn’t be educated. and not only a woman, a mentally ill woman who would’ve rotted away at home or possibly even been thrown in one of the asylums that was growing in popularity at the time. nothing motivates ya like wanting to stick it to those long dead misogynist ableist fuckheads lemme tell ya

anyway wow can u tell i’m having trouble processing things this week, this is all over the place. thanks if u read i’m embarrassed about having written so much n might delete but i think writing this all out helped to calm my mind a lil bit. gn

[sumire-bride]

sumire and shuu's route (demo) dark 9

((photo will change to sumire and shuu soon))

scene is in the school stairs

sumire- .... (...i have not been in this hallway before... it's a bit darker then the other ones... not many lights..)

(...the person called a teacher let... us off early today.. so that means i have more time to do things.. right..? i think so.. in that case then i shall read...)

*rustle rustle*

...i can sit on the stairs....

...

*foot steps*

sumire- ...(..i hear someone...)

shuu- pwah..

sumire- ...oh..! hello shuu-sama... your walking today i see... lovely..

shuu- why do you act like that's surprising..?

sumire- ..well.. shuu-sama does not get up much.. so i find it surprising when you do get up..

shuu- tch it's weird hearing you say stuff like that..

sumire- ..weird..? well if that does not please you..-

shuu- don't..

sumire- ..huh...?

shuu- don't finish that sentence.. you say it all the time it's getting really annoying to listen to all the time..

sumire- ...oh... (...but.. chousoka-nii says that that is a way to ask people if i am doing wrong and.. what i can do to better myself..)

...but whatever the case.. what are you doing here shuu-sama...?

shuu- that's not already obvious..? i'm gonna nap here

sumire- ...i see then.. then do not mind me.. i will just be reading here..

shuu- well i find it hard to sleep when i have you around most of the time.. it really is a pain

sumire- ...what do you mean..?

shuu- your blood.. it's sickly sweet but in another way it smells like a type of sulty food.. sometimes it burns my nose

sumire- ...my blood..? (...i can not smell my blood.. but.. i think that is because he is a vampire...)

..is that a bad thing..?

shuu- no.. not really but i'm not really into sweet stuff so your smell can get annoying to sleep next to

sumire- ..oh.. then i can leave is i am bothering you.. i would like shuu-sama to be happy so..-

rustle rustle

sumire- ...er..!!

...(..he pushed me down... and climbed on top of me....!! i do not feel comfortable with this..)

shuu- ..but there's times where i don't entirely mind the smell

sumire- ...shuu-sama... please get off... i do not feel comfortable like this...

shuu- is that my issue? i'm doing this because i feel like doing this..

sumire- ...get off... please..! (...i do not know what to do...)

get.. off..! stop...

shuu- kick and scream all you like it's not gonna get you anywhere..

*he moves her clothes aside*

shuu- no matter how much you scream no one will come to help you..

sumire- ...!!

*flashback*

???- no matter how much you scream no one will help you.. not even me..

*flashback ends*

sumire- ... (...stop.. stop.. no more.. father.. help help..!!)

shuu- you know i have to say this but.. it's kinda strange seeing act like this.. but i won't say i dislike it..

*shuu bites sumire*

sumire- ....ah..!!! (...it hurts.. ow.. ow.. stop.. no more of this.. i do not want like this.... help..!!)

*smack*

shuu- ..mm.. geez that hurt... your not really all that strong.. but when you add those long nails of yours it hurts.. never took you to be the type of person to hit people..

sumire- ... (... his body is to close... i can't.. i can't move anymore.. i.. i do not know what i am supposed to do..)

...st.. (...i can not udder words.. i can't make him stop..! father make him stop... just let me move...!!!)

..argh..!

shuu- look at that.. for once in your life your showing something other then that depressed look on your face..

your hole body froze.. are you in shock? that's new..

phew.. haah.. i'm done

sumire- ...

*he stands up*

..i can see why you where sent to us.. your blood is a first class.. but a bit too sweet for me.. anyway.. later

*he leaves*

sumire- ... (...my breath is heavy... i want to... i want to go home... uu..)

monolog

his body made it so i couldn't move..

or more or less he was to close to me so i couldn't move due to what i suppose was fear

it made me think about how much a close space is way to triggering for some reason.. father doesn't like it when i fight back.. yet i still tried

the world is cruel.. someone told me

yeah the world hurts.. the beauty of it all hurts

but

people are always right

and i am always wrong so

maybe it was just instinct to let him stab his sharp fangs into my ghost like skin

----to be continued---

dark 8-- dark epilogue

[writemywaytoyourheart]

He sees your self-harm scars | Jimin

Requested: kind of,,, @tangledsparkles gave me the idea, so thanks love, ILY ❤️

a/n: this one.....is so long.....omf sorry....but I love it, pls enjoy it! Jiminie is....ach my heartu ;-; BY THE WAY GUYS, I DON'T OWN ANY GIFS, IF EVER I DO, I'LL SAY, BUT AS OF RN, I OWN NOOONE OF THE GIFS I USE. ALL CREDITS TO OWNERS. -chip

Word count: 1.3k -...it was an accident I promise...

pairing: Jimin x reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings: nothing too bad honestly; self harm scars but no details on how or why.

Trigger Warning- if you're easily triggered by this topic, pls don't read

The gif won't work and I'm sad ;-;

“Hey, Y/n-ah!!~”

You look up and see Jimin come out from his room, the rest of the boys were out today and the two of you were hanging out at the dorm together, doing whatever popped into your heads. So far, you’ve baked cookies, watched a movie and played on the Wii.

“Ye-ahh?~” You call back and smile at him as his eyes crinkle from the smile spreading on his cheeks. He comes to stand in front of you and you reach your hands out to take his, “did you find what you were looking for?” Jimin looks thoughtful for a moment and then he laughs, “I completely forgot what I went back there to find!” You laugh and shake your head at the silly boy. Jimin flops down dramatically next to you and hugs you, you brush his hair out of his face and giggle at him while he buries his face in your hair, “what did you want to say, Jiminie?” He looks up at you with puppy dog eyes.

“Do you wanna go swimming? I can’t think of anything else to do, unless you just want to lie and cuddle. That would be fine too.” You laugh and pet his fluffy hair again, “I don’t have a swimsuit with me, silly.” Jimin looks thoughtful again then his face brightens and he sits up excitedly, “let’s go buy you one!! It’ll be my treat!” Jimin knows you aren’t with him for his money and he knows you used to hate it when he bought you gifts, but you two ended up coming to an agreement that if one of you wanted to do something nice for the other, you’d let them. So, you buy him little gifts sometimes and he buys you little gifts sometimes. You both loved getting things for people, especially loved ones, so you didn’t ever try to persuade the other not to get you something, since you knew it brought them happiness. So you hum in thought at his suggestion but shake your head.

“That’s alright.” Jimin whines and puts at you, “that’s no fair, we agreed to let each other buy gifts.” You sit up and pat his head again, “I know baby, the thing is I already have a swimsuit, so there’s no reason to get another. We can just go get mine if you really wanna go swimming.” Jimin nods but then pouts again, “ok, so you don’t need one….but it would still be fun to get another and having two to choose from isn’t all bad! Please y/n??~” You giggle and nod your head, “ok lil mochi, you convinced me. Do you have a swimsuit, or should we get you one too?” He laughs and shakes his head, his poofy hair flopping back and forth, “I have plenty, I’ll go grab one, pack a bag and we can go get you one and then off to the beach!” Jimin pumps his hands in the air and jumps off the couch in his excitement. You smile at him before he disappears into the back, then you bite your lip anxiously; hoping he wouldn’t notice your lack of enthusiasm at the idea of swimsuit shopping, let alone swimming.

-

Your bathing suit at home is a one piece with shorts that you always pair with it; to cover up things you’d rather people didn’t see- especially Jimin. But this….this store apparently doesn’t do swim shorts, because there isn’t a single pair of them here…You look around anxiously and see Jimin walk into the swimsuit section, ‘ooh-ing’ and ‘ahh-ing’ at all the pretty different colors and patterns. Jimin walks back over to you and takes your hand, “see anything you like jagiya?” You swallow and walk over to a rack, dragging your hands along all the suits and contemplating which one to get, “I- I’m not really sure yet…” Jimin nods and walks over to a different rack, pulling out a few in your favorite color and holding them up with a smile, “wanna try some on?”

-

Yeah, you hated this. Jimin was waiting outside the dressing room to see when you tried on a swimsuit. Usually, what you two do is, he waits outside and when you’re dressed he slips inside to tell you what he thinks, because you hate walking out and having people stare at you while you ask Jimin how things look. You’ve been in here for longer than usual because you just can’t stop staring at the scars on your legs. The swimsuit you had on was beautiful and you loved it, but you are so self-conscious about the scars on your thighs that you just can’t do it….

“Y/n? Are you dressed? Can I see it?” You jump at the sound of Jimin’s voice right outside the dressing room door and you scramble to find your clothes to change back into them. While you frantically strip and yank your jeans and shirt back on, you stutter out to him, “y-yeah, no, um, I picked one I like so- so you don’t have to see them…thanks though.” Jimin frowns but shrugs it off, smiling when you fling the door open and hold up one of the ones he picked, “I’m getting this one!”

You thank Jimin again after buying the swimsuit and then you’re on the way to the beach, a knot in your tummy at how anxious you are. After you get there, you tell Jimin to pick a good spot while you get changed, a few minutes later and you find him sitting on a towel on the sand, cross-legged. You put your bag of regular clothes down and he looks up at you, you have the swimsuit on but a towel is wrapped around your waist, covering up the scars. Jimin smiles sweetly at you, “you’re so cute y/n! Let me see the new swimsuit!! I’m so excited!” You wring your hands and bite your lip, then an idea pops into your head, “ok but on one condition…” Jimin looks confused but nods anyway.

“You have to beat me to the water!!” You shout a split second before you throw the towel and run your booty down the beach as fast as you can, making a straight shot for the cold waves. It takes him a second to process what happened but then he’s on his feet and chasing you down, gaining on you in no time. Right as your feet touch the water and you’re about to submerge yourself for only the sake of escaping his gaze, you feel a pair of strong arms wrap around you and hug you tightly and you scream; partly out of surprise and partly out of desperation to cover yourself in the water.

Not understanding any of that; Jimin flips you around to face him and kisses your face sweetly, “gotcha babygirl!!” then he’s taking in your new swimsuit and his smile gets even bigger. He kisses you again, “you look absolutely gorgeous love!! I’m so happy you got this one, it really brings out your eyes too.” You just stare at him in confusion and he tilts his head, you look down and see that yes, your scars are extremely obvious…Is he blind? He takes your chin to tilt your head up, “Y/n, you’re beautiful, you know that?”

He knew.

How long?

“J-Jimin..”

“Mm?”

“I just…I don’t-“

“You’re talking about your scars aren’t you? How long have I known?” You nod helplessly and he hugs you, “I’ve known for months y/n, but they’re old aren’t they? They don’t look new.” You nod again and mumble, “yeah, they’re old…b-but, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because you would tell me when you’re ready, and them being there doesn’t make me think any different of you.”

“Y-you mean that?” You’re getting choked up now and you see tears in his eyes, some falling down his cheeks, “every word y/n, and I hate that something hurt you so bad that you’d wanna-“ he sniffles and clears his throat, “tell me when you’re ready baby, only when you’re ready.” You grab onto him and hold him close as you cry in relief.

“You’re beautiful y/n…so beautiful.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n 2.0: I hope you liked it, obviously I got a biiiiit too carried away....👉👈

-chip

[saddeniq]

OC Interview

No one tagged me but I was bored and wanted to do it 👉👈

Name? → "Even if I wanted to tell you my actual name, I couldn't. But you can call me by my Legion name, Mortuus."

Are you single? → "What, you wanna shoot your shot? I'd be happy for a night, but if you're looking for a long term relationship I don't do those anymore."

Are you happy? → "I'd be happier if I were out somewhere with my blade. But sure, I guess I'm alright "

Are you angry? → "It takes a whole lot to piss me off, and no one's had the balls to do so. Yet, anyways."

Are your parents still married? → "I don't know if there ever were married at all. If they were, my pops never told me."

Nine Facts:

Birthplace? → "Somewhere up north on a ranch. I don't remember much from when I was small. My dad didn't wait long before taking me on the road."

Hair color? → "A dark orange of sorts? I'm not an artist, I can't tell you a shade."

Eye color? → "Dark grey."

Birthday? → "Can't give you numbers, but I know it was in late winter."

Mood? → "Not sure, neutral? Is that an answer? If you're looking for a mood I'm usually in, trigger-happy is your answer."

Gender? → "Female."

Summer or Winter? → "Winter. It gets way too hot in the Mojave and my skin gets burned like hell durring the summer."

Morning or Afternoon? → "Morning. The sand hasn't heated up like hell's entrance yet."

Eight Things About Your Love Life:

Are you in love? → "Used to be."

Do you believe in love at first sight? → "Love needs trust. How can you trust someone you just met?"

Who ended your last relationship? → "I don't like to talk about it."

Have you ever broken someone's heart? → "I didn't mean to," She sounds a little desperate, "It wasnt my fault."

Are you afraid of commitments? → "I guess you could say that."

Have you hugged someone in the last week?→ "Nah, I don't comfort anyone but myself."

Have you ever had a secret admirer? →

"Oh I've had plenty. They got their shot if they were nice enough."

Have you ever broken your own heart? → "I don't think thats possible is it? But I," Her eyes cloud up, "But I think I have."

Six Choices:

Love or lust? → "Mm, I don't do the first. Now the second? Thats a better story."

Lemonade or iced tea? → "I've never had either. Is that a bad thing?"

Cats or dogs? → "Dogs are more useful. More loyal. Cats? They'll scratch you deep when youre least expecting it. Theyre just back stabbing knots of fur."

A few best friends or many regular friends? → "Can't let anyone get too close, you get weak that way. I'll take a lot of regulars than a special group."

Wild night out or romantic night in? → "I'll take something wild than something mushy any day. It's more fun that way, more enjoyable."

Day or night? → "Can't see shit in the dark. In the day light, I can see my enemies. See their faces as they scream."

Five Have You Evers:

Been caught sneaking out? → "My old man never caught me, not once. He was too busy getting drunk or gambling all our money away. I think he knew though, he understood why."

Fallen up/down the stairs? → "I wish I could say I never have. But when your legs are caught in bear traps and you're running from Ghost People? I think it was a reasonable accident."

Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? → "Maybe in one life I did," Her voice seems to fade, "Before this whole mess."

Wanted to dissapear? → "Dissapear? Honey this stage was made for me. As if I'd give up on the show so soon. If I'm going out, I'm going out with a bang."

Four Preferences

Smile or Eyes? → "Eyes say a whole lot more when you're talking with someone," She smirks, "nd' they look a whole lot prettier too."

Shorter or Taller? → "Shorter, there's not a lot of people who are noticeably taller than me anyway."

Intelligence or Attraction? → "Intelligence, it always makes for some decent conversation."

Hook-up or Relationship? → "Isn't it obvious? Hook-up."

Family:

Do you and your family get along? → "My father and I used to get along. Didnt take long for stress and desperation to ruin him and our relationship. He got what he deserved that night he died."

Would you say you have a messed up life? → "Yeah it's pretty fucked up, but I've got it easy compared to the other women I see. I guess I'm lucky. "

Have you ever ran away from home? → "I never had a home. It was just me, dad, and the stars. I have run away from him occasionally. Leave for days, weeks even- but I always ended up back with him and the caravan."

Have you ever gotten kicked out? →

"Nah, he couldn't get rid of me no matter how hard he tried. I shoulda kicked my dad out now that I think of it."

Friends:

Do you secretly hate one of your friends? → "It's not secret. And he's not my friend."

Do you consider all of your friends good friends? → "I've only got two good friends, Rex and ED-E. Anyone else is just a mutual."

Who is your best friend? → "Rex. He's a good dog."

Who knows everything about you? →

"The dead. My history is bits and pieces, I can't remember much. A bullet can do that to you. All I know is what I have now, and it's not much."