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theirbbygirl · 3 years ago

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Second Lead Syndrome

Word Count: ~8.7k words

liked this? there’s more on my masterlist!

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Comedy, Female reader insert

Description: Y/n and Minho have been friends for more than 2 years now, but suddenly she begins to see herself as the mere second lead in Minho’s story. Will she be the rare second lead who gets her own happy ending?

Warnings: some crying, themes of unrequited love (if there’s anything that I missed don’t hesitated to let me know!)

I’d only ever encountered Second Lead Syndrome in the dramas I’d watched. Wanting the girl to end up with the second lead who was so obviously the better and healthier choice, but like every avid watcher of kdramas, it's more than likely for the main leads to end up with each other, that was just how it worked. What I never thought I’d encounter was seeing it happen before my own eyes and experience it firsthand.

Life was never supposed to be a kdrama. Life was supposed to be simple, a straight line, going from point A to B with no complications. But life never really went my way did it? It just had to throw in one variable, one man that had too much influence on my life.

I couldn’t remember the first time I met Minho. It was probably sometime in the first grade when his family first moved in next to mine. But alas, we were both too young to remember exactly what sparked our friendship. One day we were strangers and the next we had given our parents a near heart attack when we both went after a stray cat on the way back home (my mom’s words, not ours). From then my memories were filled with him, just us besties hanging out like anyone would with their best friend. First party, first mental breakdown, first drink, all with him. Soon enough we were in our final year of University, and ultimately, adults.

The Minho I knew was laid back, not too extroverted but not too introverted either. While I completely contrasted him, always anxious about something, wanting perfection to the T, and completely and utterly introverted. Our friendship, moving into University, sparked a lot of questions. You wouldn’t typically find the introverted straight-A student with the borderline badboy tsundere walking and laughing in the halls together, spending practically every waking moment together. But Minho didn’t care, and neither did I, so we moved through life pretty easily.

One of the few things we had in common was our love for cats, and when we both foudn out there was a cat cafe just a few minutes walk from our campus, you best bet we spent too much of our time and money there. Studying, hanging out, anything you could imagine. If we weren’t in one of our dorms, we were more than likely to be in the cat cafe.

Every day after class we’d go there and we’d complain about our least favorite professors and how lectures would seemingly last for longer than they should. Additionally, Minho had almost become akin to my own dormmate with how much time he spent in my dorm. He’d come in whenever he wished, stealing my frozen pizzas and sodas, using my Netflix account on my TV to watch weird National Geographic shows and make random comments like “that snake looks just like Kim Seungmin,” or “look its Hannie” whenever a squirrel came on screen. Minho was always there when I needed a drinking partner after bombing a test or assignment, pouring me shots of soju until I passed out and bringing me to my bed and tucking me in whiel he would sleep on the couch to make sure I wouldn’t do anything stupid in the middle of the night.

Although, more people knew Minho’s name than mine, but that didn’t bother any of us. We continued on being friends as usual, and it felt like nothing would change that. Life was moving in a straight line like it should’ve always been.

At least, that’s what it felt like until February, just a few months before we graduated.

I make my way to our usual spot in the courtyard after buying an iced coffee and a snickers bar from the vending machine next to my classroom, I walk up behind Minho sitting on a bench when I find him staring out in front of him instead of looking at cat videos on his phone like he usually does. Slowing my walk, I trail my eyes to the vague direction he’s facing and see that he’s looking at Kim Seungmin and a girl chatting outside the classroom. I ignore the thought, opting to think that Minho must’ve spaced out thinking about how he would irritate Seungmin next class. I plop down next to him when he still doesn’t take note of my arrival, so I get right next to his ear and blow cold air into it, snickering when he jolts in surprise.

“What was that for?” He whines, fake annoyed.

“You got lost up in your thoughts for a certain Kim Seungmin there.” I snicker some more, opening my snickers (hehe) bar.

Just as I’m about to take the first bite of the sugary goodness, the chocolate bar gets snatched out of my hands and a certain Lee Minho takes an obnoxious bite out of it, not even giving it back but eating it like it was his. I pout, watching him devour my snack, knowing that I couldn’t do anything to get it back.

“For your information, I was not thinking about Kim Seungmin.” He says pointedly, slightly muffled by the chocolate in his mouth.

I sigh, knowing I wasn’t going to get that chocolate bar back any time soon, and open my iced coffee. “So what were you thinking about then?” I ask before taking a sip.

“Don’t know, spaced out.” Is all the answer I get and I highly doubt him, but I brush it off anyways and don’t pry.

Minho and I slide into our usual conversation about assignments, plans for the week, and everything under the sun. We talk about how he’s planning to visit home the next day and stay for a weekend and how excited he is to see his cats after a long time, I unknowingly smile at his ramble about how talkative Dori is, and just sit back and listen. I never took into account how healing it was to just watch and listen to him talk, the sultry of his voice and his little exclamations of frustration or excitement that came once in a while. I had to catch myself from staring when he turned to look at me, having asked me a question I didn’t catch.

“Sorry what was that?” I ask.

“Am I that beautiful for you to have lost your hearing to my handsome face?” I couldn’t just tell him that that was basically what had happened, it would inflate his ego by too much and reveal everything I’d hidden thus far.

“The heck? No, I was thinking about how great it would be to get some peace and quiet while you’re not around this weekend.” I lie, having Minho around is the only thing that brings me entertainment that isn’t endless sappy kdramas on my laptop, but he can never know that.

Minho scoffs, says something under his breath that I don’t quite catch, then turns back to me. “You love me.” He says with a pout.

“Unfortunately I do.”

That was the first of many inconspicuous confessions.

It was nearing 3 or 4 am and I was about halfway done with another kdrama when several knocks resound through the small living space. Knowing exactly who it is, I only shout back “you know the code!” and moments later the door opens.

I don’t bother to get up and greet Minho, this exact scene has happened too many times for either of us to care at this point, and it doesn’t surprise me that the moment he enters he shouts, “Honey I’m home!” like we’re in some cheesy romcom.

“Mhmm, welcome home, leech.” I enunciate the last word purposely, but I know he won’t bat an eye at the term. I continue to chew my popcorn while he wanders through my cabinets, looking for snacks. “There’s chips in the cabinet next to the fridge and sprite in there too. If you want more food order Chinese takeout.”

“I don’t have my wallet.” I can practically hear his pout from where I sat, eyes unmoving from the TV screen.

“You know where mine is, but you have to pay me back.” A few seconds pass with no response until suddenly he’s next to me and kissing my cheek.

“I loveeee you!” He says too sweetly, retreating back to the mini-kitchen to order takeout.

“Mhmm, I love you too.” I say, not loud enough for him to hear the confidence missing from my tone.

Continuing to watch the episode of in front of me, I remain in my comfortable position, only moving to lift my legs when Minho comes back to sit on the couch under my legs and the blanket.

“Oh you’re watching this one?” He asks, reaching into the bowl of popcorn I offer him.

“Yeah, didn’t have anything else to watch so I put it on since everyone seems to like it so much.”

“Mm,” he hums while also indulging himself into the scenes playing in front of him. “You’re probably team potato guy, right?”

“What kind of question is that? Of course I am!” I scoff.

“I don’t know, I still think she should end up with Jae-eon.”

“Are you crazy? He literally leads her on like every playboy and is ruining her mentality by not defining their relationship.”

“Yeah, but they’re so cute together, and you can totally tell he feels something for her.” He argues.

“Just cause they’re cute together doesn’t mean they’re good for each other, the entire guy is a walking red flag, I don’t understand why she doesn’t just walk away when she’s had experience with a shit boyfriend.” I sigh.

“You, have major second lead syndrome.” He points an accusing finger at me.

“So what? It’s for good reason, the main lead is toxic as fuck and you can’t change my mind.” I upturn my nose, turning back to the TV and continuing to watch the episode.

The mentioning of the second lead sends a flurry of thoughts into my brain for a reason I can’t comprehend. Sometimes the main leads aren’t that bad but still we want the main character to end up with the second lead, maybe out of our own natural selfishness because we prefer the second lead more. I shake the thoughts away, trying to convince myself that kdramas were only works of fiction and too cheesy to be real, yet for whatever reason I always felt a connection with the second leads, like our emotions directed to our crushes were the same, because I knew that I would always be the second lead in Minho’s story.

Minho’s name was always called out more times than mine was growing up, which I didn’t really mind until our hangout time would be seriously cut down because he had to hang out with other friends. Don’t get me wrong, I loved that he had friends, but there was a little bit of selfishness in me that wanted him to myself.

A new drama and a few episodes later, plus Chinese takeout, lead to our eventual demise. We both fall asleep on the couch in less than comfortable positions and wake up with stiff-neck, us groaning at the pain.

We continue on with our usual morning routines, taking turns freshening up in the bathroom before heading out for breakfast at Paws and Pastries since we were both too lazy to make food ourselves. Besides, hot coffee in the morning plus good sandwiches AND cats? What more could you ask for?

When we enter the cat cafe I notice a familiar face behind the cashier, it was the same girl Seungmin was talking to on Friday, and the same girl I caught Minho staring at. We walk up to the cashier, I order my food first, a simple breakfast sandwich with a coffee to go with it and wait next to Minho to finish ordering.

I made the mistake up glancing up at his face as he was telling his order to her, Ahra, her name tag read. There was something in his eyes that glinted that I had never seen before, not when he talked to Han and not when he talked to me. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of emotion in the middle of my chest before forcing myself to look back down, inserting my card and paying for everything. I sent the girl a thank you and a kind smile after she told us our food would be right over, and both me and Minho went over to our usual table in the back corner next to the cat’s jungle gym and right up next to the window. I get lost in my thoughts while we begin playing with the cats we were so accustomed to.

Like most second leads, I knew exactly what my feelings were. I was practically an adult, how could I miss the fast beating of my heart or my clammy hands whenever I was around him? But again, like most second leads, I knew I’d never get a chance with him, not when everything we did together was purely platonic. It was painfully obvious that I’d be stuck with an unrequited love for who knows how long, and I couldn’t just detach myself from him all of a sudden to get over my feelings because a) he’d notice and force me to tell him what was wrong, ultimately leading me to tell him that I had feelings for him, and b) the moment I would come back or see him for even just a second I know I would develop those feelings all over again. Neither of which were choices I was willing to take so I suck it up and see him every day, ignoring everything my heart was telling me.

I look up from the cat that I’m petting in my lap and look at Minho again, only to find him staring at Ahra who was taking people’s orders with a perfect pearly smile. It was in that moment that I knew, I had just found the female lead of Minho’s story.

3 weeks go by in a similar manner. Minho and I see Ahra around campus a few times and with some twisted fate, she’s on the clock every time we go to Paws and Pastries. Minho, being his smooth self, easily gets himself acquainted with her. They laugh and giggle so naturally and can slip into conversation so easily I’m almost envious of Minho and his non-introverted self.

Not being one to try and stop fate, I watch it all happen. Telling Minho to ask her out already and teasing him about how lovesick he gets when he sees her nearby or at the cafe. I know Minho likes her when he blushes or gets defensive whenever I mention her in our conversations even though he’s never explicitly told me himself. I put on a face in front of him whenever these conversations come up, not wanting to get in the way of his happiness.

One day some of our friends want to meet up outside of campus, we make plans to meet up at a bowling alley, ready to have fun until the late evening hours. Seungmin brought Ahra along with him, asking if it was okay to invite her since they were friends. Everyone agrees and we all meet up as planned. When everyone gets there, including Seungmin and Ahra, we introduce ourselves, Minho not having to introduce himself and easily speaking with her like they always did whenever running into each other. All the the boys have raised brows and mischievous smiles as they watch the interaction between the two, but only one looks at me in concern.

A majority of the night passes by with laughter and teasing, how Chan was terrible at bowling this night and Minho easily beating him despite never doing too well on our previous adventures to the bowling alley. I spend the night with the rest of the boys, while Minho and Ahra spend time getting to know each other even more. There’s a point in the evening where I see Minho hold out his phone to Ahra to exchange numbers, I can hear her giggle when they take a selfie together, probably for her profile picture. I have to turn my head away quickly to ignore the cracking of my own heart when Minho puts his arm on the couch behind Ahra, he does it so naturally, yet he’s never done it with me. I will my thoughts to focus on the game and not on Minho, not noticing the same pair of concerned eyes until they speak up.

“Are you alright?” Hyunjin asks.

“Hm? Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” My voice cracks halfway through and I try to hide my sad eyes, even though I was fully aware that Hyunjin had probably noticed that something was up.

“‘Cause you seem pretty affected by that scene over there.” He motions to Minho and Ahra with a nod of his head.

“It’s nothing, Hyun, just nice seeing Minho talking to more people.”

“Y/n, you know he talks to people all the time, and you’re not nearly as affected then as you are now.”

“Hyunjin, really, it’s fine.” I try to convince him but he says something that lets me know that he knows.

“You like Minho.”

“What? No that’s absurd I-“ He looks at me pointedly, and I sigh in defeat. “Yeah, okay, you got me.”

“Why don’t you say anything? Clearly it hurts you to see him like that.” He refers to Minho getting cozy with her.

“Hyunjin, it’s clear that everything we have is platonic, he even called me his sister several times. And who am I to get in the way of him getting into a relationship? That’s not my place to say anything, especially when his last girlfriend was 2 years ago.”

“I get that, but shouldn’t he at least deserve to know? He says that he knows everything about you, but there’s one thing that he doesn't. You know practically everything about him, isn’t it a little unfair?”

“We have choices as to what we share with each other and what we don’t, it’s his choice to tell me what he wants to and my choice to tell him what I want to tell him. Besides, he hasn’t even told me that he has a crush on Ahra yet.”

“So maybe he doesn’t then.”

“Hyunjin, just look at him, he’s a puppy in love.” I glance back over to Minho and Ahra sitting parallel to us. Minho is smiling brightly, more brightly than I had seen in a while and I can’t help but let my lips upturn at the corners just slightly in another sad smile.

Hyunjin sighs next to me, and I look back to him. “I’m sorry y/n, I really wish he would end up with you instead of her, it doesn’t seem fair to you.”

“Hey, don’t say that, Ahra seems like a nice girl, she and Minho will get along great. And nothing in life is fair Hyunjin, that’s just something you come to accept.” I say, getting up. “I’m gonna get some drinks, does anyone want anything?” I ask everyone.

“Cola!” “Me too!” “Me three!” “A lemonade please.” A few of the boys shout back.

“Anything for you guys?” I turn to Minho and Ahra. They both shake their heads. “Okay then, I’ll be back in a minute guys.” I smile at the group before going to get the drinks.

While walking away from the group I let a teardrop fall from my eye, wiping it away just before I order.

Life’s unfair, that’s just something I have to accept.

A week goes by and Minho’s talking about how he and Ahra message often, how he thinks they get along well and he’s gonna ask her out.

Another week goes by and they’ve gone on their first date, he takes her to the beach and they have a picnic.

Two weeks after that they’ve gone on several dates and are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, I don’t even find out separately at this point, I find out with the rest of the group over dinner.

A few days after that Minho calls off one of our late night binge watching sessions, texting me an apology and that Ahra needs him. I tell him it’s okay and to send my regards to her.

It’s a week and half after and Minho regularly calls off our meetups at the cafe after school or at one another’s dorms to tend to Ahra. I tell him it’s fine each time and to not feel bad. He did the same today, and I sit alone at our usual table, mindlessly petting a cat in my lap while zoning out into in my mug of coffee.

All while this happens, I watch, and I let it happen. I don’t fight for him because it didn’t feel right, sometimes second leads let their love fall for someone else, and that’s all it felt like I could do.

Fighting for Minho felt selfish, especially when I knew I had no chance and he’d already fallen for Ahra. I couldn’t suddenly come out of the blue and tell him “hey, I have feelings for you,” when he’s already dating Ahra, I’d look like a major asshole if I did. All I could do was watch and see how we begun to drift farther and farther apart.

With Minho being absent more often, I don’t get to tell him much. Like the internship offer I got to continue pursuing graphic design in Itaewon. I got the email almost a week ago, and I had two more weeks to decide if I was going to take the offer. With nobody to consult about it with I continue to push it to the back of my mind, not wanting to deal with more stress just yet.

Just as I’m taking another sip of my coffee a familiar head of long blonde hair enters the cafe. My head tilts to the side in confusion as he scans the room for someone when he meets eyes with me, he makes his way over and sits in the seat in front of me and doesn’t say anything.

“You’re rarely on this side of town, why are you here?” I ask Hyunjin first.

“I heard something from Ms. Kim in our art class and needed to know if it was true.” He says seriously.

“What…” I feel like I know what he’s going to say, but I ask anyways. “What did you hear?”

“That you were offered an internship in Itaewon.”

“Hyunjin I-“

“Is it really true? She said you had two more weeks to decide, how come you haven’t told anybody? Does Minho know? Are you gonna leave? What about-” He begins to spurt out question after question and it’s almost too much for me to handle.

“Hyunjin!” I raise my voice just slightly to get him to stop but I have to turn it down again when the volume of my voice makes a few of the other customers’ heads turn. “Calm down, yes it’s true, yes I have two more weeks to decide if I’m going or not, I didn’t know how I would tell any of you, no, Minho doesn’t know and I don’t plan on telling him.”

“Are you… Are you gonna take the offer?” He asks slowly.

I prop my elbows onto the table as the cat leaves my lap and my head drops into my hands as I sigh in exasperation. “I don’t know.” Tears are gathering in my eyes as I think about it.

“Y/n, have you thought about the offer at all?”

“Yes and no.” I don’t need to lift my head to sense Hyunjin’s confusion. “It’s hard to think about it when you’re watching your crush of 2 years date someone else while you’re also trying to finish up your senior year. But it’s also all I can think about when I’m alone, which I find myself a lot, thinking about having to find a place to live in Itaewon and transfer and mentally prepare to leave you all here, but if I don’t take it then it’ll be even harder to find an offer like this. It’s all I can think about and also something that I can’t bring myself to think about, Hyunjin.” I lift my head and my teary eyes meet his own.

“Y/n…” His voice breaks saying my name.

“I think I’m going to take it.” I pause. “Once I finish all of my final assignments the only thing I have left to really worry about is graduating and finding a job, and I don’t think I can take watching Minho and Ahra anymore Hyun, I don’t think I can stomach it. I’m happy for them, I truly am, but it’s also affecting me and I don’t think I should ignore that anymore. If I’m in Itaewon I have a job and I won’t have to worry about feelings anymore, two birds with one stone.”

I see the hesitancy in Hyunjin’s facial expressions before he speaks. “If that’s what you think you should do, then I’ll support you all the way. But shouldn’t you tell Minho about this?”

“I’m not, because if I do, Minho is gonna find some way to get me to stay and I’ll crumble and stay because he affects me the most.” Hyunjin merely nods in response. “Hyunjin, you are the only one that can know about this, okay? I can’t have everyone else know this, especially Minho, okay?”

Hesitation again, and then, “Okay.”

Hyunjin keeps his promise, he keeps the secret of me leaving from everyone. Even as graduation inches closer and our group begins to talk more about job searching, what comes next, and similar topics, the two of us keep it a secret. Whenever they asked me what I was thinking of doing next I always just told them “oh probably looking for internships nearby,” and no more questions are asked.

Minho and Ahra were still very much in love, even more than before, if the growing absence of Minho’s presence was anything to go by. I barely saw Minho anymore, maybe catching him at the end of the hall every once in awhile, but he was always walking with Ahra so all I could say was “hello” and “goodbye.”

Each goodbye begun to hold more and more weight as the days passed. Even the short ones I would tell Minho after passing him in the halls. I couldn’t even conjure how I would tell everyone, maybe send a letter to each of their places? A text message? Tell them after the graduation ceremony just before I left for the train station? I thought about how I would say goodbye as I begun to pack up my dorm. Graduation was nearing, I had already turned in all of my final assignments, and all there was left was to pack. I would leave after the ceremony ended, sometime in the afternoon. I wouldn’t even get the chance to properly celebrate being graduates with my friends because I was leaving in the afternoon. I’d get situated in my new apartment in Itaewon and get accustomed to new life outside of Gimpo.

The thought of leaving panged my heart harshly, I had never left Gimpo permanently before. Sure, I had gone on trips to the US and Singapore and Seoul before, but I had never moved from Gimpo. I was born and raised in Gimpo, met Minho and all of our friends here, so the thought of moving for the first time did something to my heart. I attended all of our group hangouts with a nostalgic mindset, remembering the first time we all met, when we all got wasted one time on a Friday night after some big exam week. I look around our table of friends and think about how much I’ll miss all of this when I leave for Itaewon.

Another thing that panged my heart, Minho and I distancing. I knew it was coming, Minho and I didn’t text or talk about hanging out anymore. He walked Ahra to her classes now, and had dates with her after class instead of meeting me at our cafe. Eventually I stopped getting apology messages, and stopped expecting him at the cafe anymore. I couldn’t blame him, Ahra was his girlfriend and I accepted that long ago. Instead I just played the supportive friend on the sidelines, and I’d continue to play that role for as long as I had to.

It came to be the night before we graduated, and all of us minus Minho and Ahra were sat around a table in one of the restaurants we frequented, it wasn’t too late in the evening, and we all just sat in silence after finishing our food with bottles and glasses of soju now sitting in front of us. A majority of our meal was full of reminiscing, talking about memories that crack everyone up and left smiles on our faces.

“So, we really graduate tomorrow, huh?” Changbin says when the table quiets down.

“Yeah, I guess we do.” Chan says quietly.

My eyes tear up and I begin to sniff without control, the weight of my department tomorrow weighing heavily on my shoulders. Hyunjin puts an arm around my shoulders and gives me a tissue, whispering “it’s okay, it’s okay” to me while I try to calm down.

Everyone looks at me in confusion before Chan speaks first. “Y/n are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just…” I trail off, not sure what to say.

“Do you want to tell them?” Hyunjin asks softly.

“Tell us what?” Seungmin says this time.

Hyunjin looks to me first before nodding, and I begin to spill my secret. “I got an internship offer.”

The table erupts in cheers and I get congratulations thrown back at me before I can even continue.

“But…” Immediately everyone silences and looks to me in expectation. “It’s in Itaewon.”

There’s a tense air that falls around us. “What?” Felix says in disbelief.

“You’re not leaving us, right Noona?” Jeongin asks from another part of the table.

I look to Jeongin with sad eyes, smiling sadly. “I leave tomorrow, after our graduation ceremony.” There’s some gasps around the table.

“What?! Y/n, why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Changbin blows up and Chan has to place a hand on his shoulder to restrain him.

“I didn’t want every time we met leading up to graduation to feel like a goodbye, Bin, I couldn’t handle that. So I kept it from you all so there wasn’t this tension every time we met.” I explained.

“Does Minho know?” Seungmin asks this time, and I shake my head.

“Y/n…” Han says worriedly.

“Guys, I know I’m not the only one that’s noticed that me and Minho aren’t that close anymore, so I haven’t really gotten the chance to tell him. But I told Hyunjin this a long time ago, that I wouldn’t tell Minho specifically, because there’s some things that I need to figure out and if I told him he’d find some way to keep me from going, or even worse, follow me. At least with Ahra by his side he won’t follow me to Itaewon.” There’s nods all around the table, understanding where I’m coming from.

“We’re gonna miss you a lot.” Felix sniffs and I coo, getting up from my seat to wrap my arms around him from behind.

“I’m gonna miss you all too.” I sniff with him, a few tears escaping my eyes.

Chan comes to join our hug, then Han, then Jeongin, and soon enough everyone has joined the group hug with me in the middle. All of us are crying, and I had never felt more loved than that moment.

Eventually we break away from the hug and return to our seats, everyone dabbing at their eyes with tissues and sniffing.

“Let’s all stop crying, tonight is a night to celebrate, all of us graduate tomorrow, and our dear Y/n got an internship offer in a big city!” Han holds up a drink and we all do the same, cheering and clinking our glasses together and celebrating the night away.

The next morning I get ready for graduation early, putting on my makeup and doing my hair, and sending a message.

to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

hey, can you meet me at p&p in thirty?

My heart picks up the pace as I send the message, I didn’t expect him to answer so quickly yet his message pings my phone within 2 minutes.

from: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

sure, i can be there

to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

sweet, i’ll see you there

I turn my phone off and take a deep breath, we still had a few hours before we had to be at the school for our graduation ceremony, I’d have to leave just a few minutes after the ceremony ended which wouldn’t give me enough time to tell Minho, so, I made the painful decision the night before to tell him in the morning. I’d do it in our favorite spot in the corner of our favorite cat cafe, tell him the news slowly and hope that he takes it well.

I leave my house and 15 minutes later I’m in our usual booth, my coffee order sitting in front of me and the cats all wandering around as there weren’t too many people since it was relatively early in the morning. I already bought Minho his typical Iced Americano and it sat in front of me, awaiting it’s owner.

10 minutes later Minho arrives and makes his way to the table, sitting in front of me, smiling, unknowing of what’s about to happen.

“Hey.” I smile at him.

“Hey you.” He smiles back brightly. “Sorry I couldn’t see you guys last night, I took Ahra out for dinner last night on a date.”

“It’s completely alright, how are you guys?”

“Pretty good, things are going okay right now.” He answers.

“That’s good.” Nervously I take a sip of my macchiato in front of me, my leg bouncing in anxiety.

“Y/n? Is everything alright? Your leg’s bouncing pretty fast right now.” Curse Minho and the fact that he knows so much about me, he reaches out for my wrist and checks my pulse, quickly noticing how fast it’s beating as his brows furrow in confusion.

“Minho, there’s something I need to tell you.” I say, retracting my wrist from his grip. He doesn’t answer me but instead tilts his head like a cat does when it looks at its owner questionably. “I’m leaving.”

“What?” He asks.

How could one look so endearing, head tilted and eyes full of emotion as I break the news to him? I ask myself. “I got an internship offer for a company in Itaewon, I accepted it and I’m leaving for Itaewon, today.”

“You’re leaving today?” He says in disbelief, sounding out of breath.

I nod and continue. “After the graduation today I have to catch my bus. I didn’t have any other time to tell you so I had to tell you now.”

“You’re… You’re just telling me now? Do the others know about this?”

“I only told them last night.”

“You couldn’t have thought of telling me sooner?” He starts to get angry.

“Minho I-“

“What happened to telling me everything, huh? What happened to when we used to know everything about each other?”

“Minho, those days are long behind us, you have bigger priorities now, like putting your focus on your girlfriend, Minho. I couldn’t tell you because I knew you’d do something rash, and I didn’t even tell the others until last night because I knew every time we’d see each other it would be like preparing for the day I leave. You and Ahra have something so great going on for the two of you right now and telling you that I was leaving would take you away from that, and I can’t do that to you or her. Ahra is an amazing girl, and you have her now.”

“Will you at least visit?” His eyes are full of tears, some of the first I’ve seen in years and I hate that I’m the cause of it.

“I don’t know yet, there’s some things I need to figure out myself first, before I can visit. But at some point maybe I will, when I’ve figured things out I’ll try visiting from time to time.” I offer him a sad smile.

After a few moments of silence I get up from my seat.

“We still have a graduation left, Min, I’ll still see you then.” I ruffle his hair and walk out of the cafe, no more secrets but one weighing down on my chest.

The Graduation ceremony passes by in a blur. One moment we were listening to the speeches of each of the professors and the next we were tossing our caps into the air, cheering as we became alumni of our university.

Our friend group met up in the front of the school, taking pictures with our parents and congratulating each other. Eventually, the time comes and I have to go.

Our group stands in a circle, unmoving, as we all look at each other.

“I’m gonna miss all of you so much.” I say in tears as my voice breaks.

“We’re gonna miss you too, Y/n.” Hyunjin says. At his words everyone gathers into a group hug full of tears and the weight of a goodbye on our shoulders.

“You better promise to visit us, okay?” Felix holds me by the shoulders and makes a point to look me in the eye. Not trusting my voice, I nod and he brings me into one more hug.

I hug each of them individually, saying a few words, before I reach the last person.

I hug Minho and look into his eyes for the last time for a while.

“I’ll miss you.” He whispers.

“Me too.” And that’s all I can say.

I leave the campus for the last time, hopping in my car to head to the station and start anew.

Second leads always leave in the end, they leave and let the two main leads have a happy ending. That’s what it felt like I was doing, and I couldn’t tell if I was content with my choice or not.

Two and a half months in Itaewon passes quickly.

The move into my new apartment was smooth, and it was odd to be in a bigger space than a small dorm room. It felt like I had more space than I knew what to do with.

My internship was moving along smoothly as well, everyone I had met so far were really kind and taught me a lot. I was worried about feeling out of place but I had met a few other girls not much older than me who helped me feel at home.

Being alone in a big city was unnerving, but what made it so much more comfortable was the addition of a cat that my parents had bought me as my graduation gift. She was a chartreux cat who I named Luna because I had always dreamed of naming my first cat that. My parents covered most of the costs of basic things like cat toys, a scratch post, her bed, and similar things. I thanked my parents endlessly when they came over to my apartment a week after I had moved in and gave me Luna. I wasn’t gone for too long during the day and always left food for her, she was great company when I came home and worked on projects late into the evening, curling up into my lap like the cats at the old cafe used to. She was my best friend in a city I was still getting accustomed to.

I hadn’t talked to the guys much, I’d talked with them a few times in the group chat about how their job searches were going and trips they were planning to take soon. It was nice talking with them every so often but all of us were still pretty busy moving onto the next chapter of our lives.

I hadn’t talked to Minho since I left, I’d assumed that he and Ahra were doing well, but that’s all that was, assumption. None of the boys talked about him and I couldn’t understand why, but I never asked since I was supposed to be moving on from my feelings in the first place. I thought I had been doing pretty well until something would come up that reminded me of him, like his favorite song would play in the cafe I bought my morning coffee in and spent my breaks at, or snapchat would send me “Today, 1 year ago” memories of him and me fooling around at Paws and Pastries. Whenever that would happen I’d be sent back to square one, and it felt like I’d never move on from Minho.

I was on my way out to grab a coffee and spend my off day walking around, maybe looking into a few shops when I got a call from Hyunjin.

“Y/n! My favorite girl, how are you?”

“Hyunjin? What’s with the call?”

“What? Can I not call my friends from time to time?”

“Not when you’re notorious for calling your ‘friends’ after you’ve done something wrong.” I sigh.

“That was one time! Besides, it wasn’t that bad.”

“You dragged Jeongin to a party! And got him wasted!”

“One. Time. Y/n. It was one time.”

“One time is enough for you to be in trouble for life, Hyun.”

“Okay, whatever, but I was meaning to ask you, what’re your plans for today?”

“Me? I was just planning to go out, today’s my day off so I was gonna visit this one cafe and see some shops, why?”

“No reason, what time do you think you’ll be home?”

“Maybe five?”

“Great, okay, I have to go now, Han’s calling me, bye!” Hyunjin hangs up before I can ask him what’s with the weird questions.

“Hyunjin- Oh great he hung up.” I put my phone in my pocket before looking down at Luna who’s stretching near my legs. “Your uncle Hyunjin is quite the odd one, isn’t he Luna, hm?” I ask her and she meows back in response. “Weird indeed, but that’s just how he is. Mommy’s gonna spend her day out and then she’ll come home and we can watch the TV together, okay? I’ll be home soon.” I pick up Luna and set her on her little bed before ensuring everything is safe and make my way out the door.

I spend the day eating at a large cat cafe that actually had an assortment of books with little reading areas while the cats roamed around everywhere. It was much bigger than the cafe in Gimpo, but I would always correlate that one with home.

After I spent a bit of time reading there I went out and explored the shops for a few hours, bought some new jeans and a few blouses plus some makeup things. I got Subway for lunch and explored just a little bit more before heading home. Instead of going straight home, I decided to take the long way, going through the streets not minding the extra weight the few shopping bags I was holding in my hands gave me. The sun was just barely beginning to set as I walked into my apartment complex, getting into the elevator and pressing the button for my floor.

I walk down the hallway to my door and am surprised when a familiar figure greets me there.

“Minho?” I say as I walk closer.

“Y/n!” He says happily, bringing me into a hug.

“What are you doing here? Actually- Wait- Don’t answer that, do you wanna come inside?” I ask him.

“Sure.” He responds.

I unlock the door and bring my bags in, setting them by the door. “Luna! Mommy’s home!” I call out automatically.

Luna meows and comes out of the bedroom, walking her way up to me before I pick her up.

“You got a cat?” Minho asks.

“Yeah, parents brought her to me about a week after I moved in.” I put Luna back down and she moves to sit on the arm of the couch, her favorite spot to sit when the sun goes down.

“And you named her Luna,” He smiles fondly. “You always wanted to name your cat Luna.”

“I’m surprised you remember that.” I chuckle. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll get that brewing, just give me a few minutes, you can take a seat on the couch and make yourself at home!” I tell him as I quickly retreat to the kitchen.

I have to take a few breaths when I’m far away enough from Minho, my heart beating just as fast as it would when I was around him back then. It was clear I hadn’t moved on at all.

I brew the coffee as promised and wait next to the coffee machine with two mugs ready. A voice chimes in behind me.

“Your place is much bigger than the dorms.” He chuckles.

“Tell me about it, it was so weird buying more furniture than I was used to.” I laugh with him.

The machine finishes brewing the coffee and I pour it into the two mugs, putting it on a tray with creamer and sugar before bringing it all to the coffee table in front of the couch.

Minho and I take seats on the couch, separated by a bit of space between us while we sip on our respective mugs.

“So,” I start the conversation. “How’s home?”

“Not too bad, same old same old, the guys being annoying as usual, you know?” He says.

“Sounds fun.” I chuckle. “And work, have you found anything yet?”

“Not yet, I’ve got a few applications out, but I’m still waiting on some answers.”

“I’m sure you’ll get them soon.” I respond.

An uncomfortable silence sets over the both of us, and I run my free hand through Luna’s fur who’s situated herself in my lap this time. I take a long sip of my coffee before asking another question.

“How’s… How are you and Ahra?”

“Oh…” He trails off. “We broke up a few weeks ago.”

“I’m sorry to hear that…” I had no idea that he and Ahra had broken up, in fact that was the completely opposite of what I thought had happened since they seemed to work together so well.

“Yeah, it was a mutual thing. We didn’t really feel that kind of connection anymore, you know? So we just, broke it off.”

“Are you okay?” I ask Minho.

“Me? Yeah, I’m actually not as affected as I thought I’d be, I don’t know if that makes me a cruel person or not but I was only sad for the first week or two. Nothing too bad.”

“I see.” Another silence settles between us. This one is longer, more tense, there was something Minho wanted to ask but he wasn’t sure, and I couldn’t depict what question he was going to ask.

“Actually, I came her for a reason.” He says.

“And what reason is that?” I ask hesitantly.

“For answers.” My brows furrow, answers for what? “There’s something Hyunjin told me recently and it got me thinking, and I wanted to hear it from you if it was true.”

I finish my coffee and place it down delicately on the coffee table, trying not to show how nervous I was with how badly my hands were shaking. “I’ll see if I have answers for you then.”

“When you told me you were leaving, you said you had some, things, to figure out on your own. What was it that you had to figure out?”

I take a moment to decide exactly how I was going to answer his question. Did I want to expose my feelings to him just yet? “Just, feelings.” I say vaguely.

“For?”

“Just feelings for somebody.”

“Is it Hyunjin?”

“No.”

“Chan?”

“Nope.”

“Changbin?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Me?”

I pause for just a half second, and apparently that was all Minho needed. “I guess Hyunjin’s big mouth was right after all.”

“Wait- What? What are you talking about?”

Minho takes a long sip of his coffee before finishing letting out a sigh after swallowing, he slowly sets the mug on the table before making direct eye contact with me and silently killing me with the suspense. “Minho please just say something you’re killing me here.”

He only chuckles in response. “Hyunjin told me not too long ago that you took up the offer to work here because you were going to sort out your feelings, for me.” He says sweetly as I suck in a breath at his last words.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Minho-“

“Now now, Y/n, we shouldn’t hide things from each other anymore, should we?” His sweet, sultry voice was affecting me greatly as he leaned closer to me on the couch. I gulp and silently curse when Luna, the only thing keeping me sane, leaves the comfort of my lap for her scratch-post.

“Minho…” I let out quietly.

“Tell me, Kitten, is it true?” He asks once again.

“I-“ My voice catches in my throat when Minho leans in ever nearer, still making direct eye-contact with me. “Yes, it is.” I sigh out and Minho backs away.

“He was right.” Minho whispers while my gaze drops to my hands that I fiddle with in my lap at the secret that’s let out. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry.” I whisper.

“Why are you sorry darling?” He asks softly and uses his thumb and forefinger to tilt my head up by my chin.

“I couldn’t tell you because I knew you didn’t feel the same, and then when you got together with Ahra we drifted apart because it hurt me to see you with her. Then I left and told you about me leaving so last minute. I made you cry, Minho, and I hate that I did. But I couldn’t see any other way out of it. I hurt you because I was cowardly and didn’t want to be selfish by telling you and having your attention move off of Ahra, when I was really being selfish by not telling you and hurting you in the end.” More tears escape my eyes as we look at each other.

“Princess, no…” He cups my face with his hands and uses his thumbs to wipe away my tears. “I’ll admit, it did hurt when you told me that you were leaving the day of, but I understood where you were coming from. Because you were right, I would have done something crazy to keep you by my side. Do you know why?” He asks, and I shake my head, still crying. “Because I need you by my side, kitten, even when I was dating Ahra I felt off but just didn’t pay any mind to it because I had her. But now I know it’s because you and I were drifting apart, I found out when after you left and me and Ahra broke up because I felt empty. I couldn’t text you to just come over anymore because you’re farther away from me now. I lied earlier, I said that I sent out some applications for jobs but didn’t get any answers yet, right?” I nod. “I got offered a job as a software engineer, here, in Itaewon, and I said yes.”

“Why?” I whisper.

“Because I want to be near you, I need to be by your side Y/n, because I love you.” I let out a sob at his confession and he coos, bringing me to rest my head on his chest and rubbing his hands on my back and running them through my hair.

“I love you too.” I say after a few minutes.

Minho brings me out of his hold, and cups my face again. For the first time, he kisses me. His lips brush over mine before deepening the kiss, taking full charge of it yet somehow still being soft with me. His kisses were nothing short of addicting, and I knew I’d be in love with him for a long time.

In that moment, kissing the man of my dreams, I remember that it may be rare that a second lead gets their own happy ending, but it’s not unheard of. Sometimes the main lead and second lead do end up with their own happily ever after.

Notes from the author: I have FINALLY posted something y’all 😂 took a few months but she’s here, and she’s dishing out something at least. I don’t know how often I’ll be posting again, esp with school and whatnot, but I do know I need to drain out my drafts because phew, it’s getting a little full in there.

But anyways, I hope you enjoyed this fic! I’m pretty sure it’s one of the longest I’ve written if not the longest. Hopefully it wasn’t too bad, I’m probably a little rusty but we can fix that (i think)

if you want more I still have my old stuff up on my masterlist on my account! hope to see you around :))

-nyx

#skz ff #skz fluff #skz fanfic #skz fanfiction #stray kids fanfiction #minho fluff #skz minho fluff #skz angst #yOU KNOW I KNOW LEE KNOW #skz lee know #lee know #lee know x y/n #tags are annoying sigh #lee minho fanfiction #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fic #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst

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neonacity · 3 years ago

Text

LUCID | NCT DREAM ‘00 LINE X READER | Ch.2

LUCID DREAMS - A TYPE OF DREAM WHEREIN THE PERSON IS AWARE THAT THEY ARE CAUGHT IN A DREAM WORLD.

Summary: It was supposed to be a harmless, professional transaction. You were to tutor a group of boys, get your pay at the end of the day, and go home to your loving fiance. Kids aren’t supposed to be dangerous, right? So why, then, are you caught up in a web of madness that slowly makes you feel like you’re in a living nightmare?

A/N: Second chapter is finally out! Thank you to all those who have supported the first one, it really meant a lot to me since it is my first time trying to write for this genre. Once again, this is a yandere plot featuring NCT Dream ‘00 line which means there will be mature themes in the story as well as obsessive, toxic behavior. If you’re a minor, please refrain from interacting. If this isn’t your thing, then just scroll and skip. In no way am I condoning anything written here— this is not love, this is obsession—nor do I think that any of the people mentioned here will act any way like in this story. This is purely a work of fiction.

Genre: yandere, horror, suspense

TW: abuse, obsessive behavior, toxic relationships, suggestive scenes, stalking, possible kidnapping, mental health. Age gap–though nothing dramatic. Everyone is of legal age. Creepy, creepy, creepy! This will be updated as the story goes along.

CHAPTER 1

“It’s slow and insidious, slinking through you like ink through water, until it permeates every inch of your soul.” - Karina Halle

"Hey baby? What's this?"

You look up from the pile of papers strewn in front of you to see your boyfriend leaning at the doorway, a small box in his hands. You squinted through your glasses and tried to rack your brains on what it could be. You could barely even remember that you received it with how busy you have been.

"Uh...oh! I think that's from the wedding coordinator. Can you open it for me? I'm sorry I haven't gotten to it yet."

Jaehyun shrugged and joined you at the dining table where you were currently trying to finish the test assignments for your job. Folding your laptop closed momentarily, you watched him open the package and pull a thick, royal blue envelope from inside of it.

Your brows shot up in surprise. "It's the wedding invitations. I didn't know she will be sending them this early."

"Are these the samples?"

"Mm-hm," you hummed and reached out for the package. You grabbed the remaining pile there, all in different shades of blue. Jaehyun mildly frowned at them beside you.

"How are they all different?" He asked, sounding genuinely confused. That made you laugh, your fingers leafing through each.

"Apparently, they are all different in shades and paper weight. Ask your mom, she was the one who insisted on getting these samples," you said with an amused roll of your eyes. His mother is such a sweet, humble woman and you've always loved her for treating you like her own, but she can get pretty...detailed, especially when it comes to things like these. She's been particularly focused on the wedding since finally, it is her "little prince" and his princess getting married.

"I honestly don't know which of these to choose…" you said with a frown now that you also had a closer look at the envelopes. This time, it was Jaehyun who laughed before he leaned over to give you a kiss on the cheek.

"Let's leave it to Mom to have the final say, okay? I think she'll love that."

You nodded and put everything back to the box again, making sure to throw one casually into your work bag so you can take a look at it later. You then glanced at your fiance sitting beside you who is looking way too perfect for his own good for someone in just a simple white shirt and gray joggers. You leaned your cheek against your propped hand as you admired him, a small smile playing on your lips.

Jaehyun noticed and slightly raised his brows in question.

"What?"

"So, we're really getting married, huh?" You asked, almost teasingly. That made him smile, his dimples showing.

"Yes. And you can't back down now. You're locked and reserved for me."

You gave him a playful raise of your brow.

"I don't know… Eight months seems so far away still. Anything can happen."

That made him capture one of your hands. With a slight tug, he was urging you off your seat and onto his lap. You laughed as you rested your arms around his shoulders, legs straddling him.

"Don't say that. Or I might just whisk you off to church right now,” he said before giving you a playful kiss on the top of your nose.

Your giggles died down on your throat after a bit and you stared at him with a wistful look in your eyes. Jaehyun noticed it but didn't say anything, moving his hands instead to gently settle on your hips. You reached out to move a few stray hairs that have fallen over his eyes lovingly.

"If it were me, I would be okay even without a ceremony. We could have just sent our marriage registration…"

You felt his hands gently squeeze your hips as he leaned over to kiss you. You easily closed the distance between you two, lips grazing with his.

"I know, baby...but my parents...I can't not give this to them…" he said softly in between your kiss. You sighed and hummed in understanding when you finally drew back from it.

"Of course. I also can't bear to make them upset. It's fine. It's just eight months anyway."

"You think you can be loyal to me until then?" He teased.

You pulled a face to play along. "I mean, I have been for the past four years, but I don't know…"

"Is that so?"

"Mm-hmm…"

Something shifted in the way he was looking at you and you knew exactly what was about to come next. His hold on your waist tightened just a little bit before he pulled you closer to his chest.

Jaehyun leaned over to press his nose against the length of your neck. He ran soft kisses across your skin, making your eyes flutter. When you felt his teeth gently graze your jaw, you moved your hands resting on his shoulders behind his head to cradle it.

"How is your job so far, by the way?" He asked lowly, his warm breath making your skin tickle. You knew that he had zero care about the question he just asked right now, not with one of his hands moving to settle on your thigh. Your head fell back to the side as his thumb started tracing slow patterns against the bare skin there.

Still, you answered, your fingers digging to intertwine with his locks. Jaehyun nibbled at the shell of your ear and your eyes finally closed at the ministration with a sigh.

"F-fine… They're fine," you whispered, heat starting to rush to the top of your head. You swallowed, suddenly feeling like the room temperature is too hot for you.

"They're not being hard or mean to you?" He continued to ask, though it is obvious he could barely care if you answer him or not at this moment. His lips moved again to the side of your neck, now pressing open kisses there.

"Hmm? No… They're a little… withdrawn, but I guess that comes with their age..."

At his question, an image of the boys flashed behind your closed eyes involuntarily. Four pairs stood out, the same ones who burned on you with a different intensity the first time you met. That was dashed by the image of your hands interlocked with someone else and for a second, you could almost feel him holding you tightly again.

Jaehyun fortunately distracted you from it when his lips closed around a sensitive part of your neck. You gasped, eyes flying open. That is going to surely leave a mark there.

"Jae…"

"Hmm?"

"You're not even listening to me…"

He pulled back and moved his hands again to hold you by your behind. You locked your arms around his neck and hooked your legs around his waist just in time for him to haul the both of you off the chair.

"I'm not. So let's stop talking," he said before carrying you off towards your room.

----

"You did great. Can you tell me how you got your answer?"

Jaemin looked up from his paper with a slight frown. He tapped the end of the pencil against his lips before glancing over at you, as if arranging his thoughts. You smiled at him patiently and took the vacant seat next to his table.

"I took the z-scores of the upper and lower limits of the budget and then… I looked them up in the z-table…"

You nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"And then I found the interval of the probabilities by finding the difference between the two…"

"That is correct. Good job," you said with a proud grin as you took his paper from him. Your pen scribbled across it, marking it with important notes that he can use as a reference later. Quickly, you glanced up to check the other boys who were still bent on their own assignments across the room to see if any of them are done with their papers. Jeno was sitting closest to you and Jaemin, furiously tapping his pen against the desk as he worked on the last few steps of his problem while Renjun sat by the window, silent in his concentration. Haechan was at the other end of the table frowning and squinting at his paper.

It's your first full week of starting your tutorial job at the manor and everything is going well so far. You have decided that you were really just overreacting when it came to the odd feelings that bugged you the first time you met the boys. While the rest of them were still mostly withdrawn, you can now almost chalk it up as average behavior of youngsters towards strangers. The family, after all, was mostly living in seclusion from the rest of society so it makes sense for them to be wary when it came to strangers like you.

You have also slowly started to know more about each brother, too. Mark, as Taeyong had explained before, was mostly out of the house to apparently take care of businesses as the eldest of the brood. He would sometimes hangout with the two youngest, Chenle and Jisung when he isn't busy, but more often than not the pair would be left on their own to play and finish their extra classes. You found out that you are not the only tutor who is in rotation within the manor—Jisung was apparently taking one on one fencing lessons while Chenle has some sessions with a private piano tutor.

You haven't really brushed shoulders with these other teachers, mostly because most of your time is spent with the four older ones of the group. While you still have lessons with the youngests, you were also instructed by Taeyong to focus more on the older boys for now for their upcoming exams.

That is how you slowly came to know their characters, at least by the few days you've spent with them so far. Renjun, the oldest of them, was mostly quiet, though he seems to be one of the most outspoken whenever he chooses to. He's the type to observe things around him, only jumping into the conversation whenever he feels like speaking. He is the exact opposite of Haechan whose edge was more noticeable from the way he behaves overall. Chatty, playful, and witty, he is not one to be one-upped by any of his brothers when it comes to anything.

And then you have Jeno, who, for the most part is also quiet but with a more outgoing personality, at least when it comes to his brothers. Maybe it's because Mark is mostly out of the house, but you feel like he is the one who acts as the de facto leader of the pack in his own subdued way. Or, at the very least, he is the only person who can more or less control Jaemin who is probably the biggest enigma of the four. You've only seen it once during your first private lesson with him, but the boy has mood shifts that can be as stark as night and day. One moment he is as quiet as still water, then all of a sudden you hear his laughter bouncing off the high walls of the manor the next. You would be lying if you say you weren't taken aback by it at first.

"Noona should give me a reward."

You looked up from checking the computation on the paper you just marked to see Jaemin looking at you with a small smirk. You blinked, not understanding what he was trying to say at first.

"A reward?"

"Mmn...don't teachers do that? When their students do a good job?"

It took you a bit to react. "Oh. I guess… yes?" You looked around the room once more to check if the others were done so you could move on to them, but they all seem to be lost in their own test problems. You guessed you have no other choice but stay with Jaemin for a bit.

"I don't know what reward I can give you guys though. You seem to have everything," you finally said as you leaned back on your seat to roam your eyes over the carved, expansive pillars hovering on top of your heads. The action caused the collar of your shirt to move just a little bit, revealing a strip of your neck. You didn't notice Jaemin's eyes move ever so slightly to it, before they clouded at what he saw there. A small bruise stood out from your skin in the very spot where Jaehyun marked you the other night. It was fading, but Jaemin's sharp eyes still caught its edges from where he sat. His jaw tightened.

"I don't think we do," he said, and when you looked up, his smile was back on his lips.

"You don't? What else could you be missing then?"

He simply stared at you at first. You thought you saw his emotions shut down briefly with the way the smile bled from his eyes.

"Family," he finally said and your expression switched into that of slight guilt. Well… you weren't expecting the conversation to move down this route. You cleared your throat softly.

"You… have your brothers though," you offered in a feeble attempt to make the situation better. You remembered what Taeyong told you about their parents' death and now you wanted to berate yourself for causing this situation. You didn’t mean for him to think of that at all.

"Not like that," Jaemin said, his head slowly tilting to the side. His stare made you shift in your seat and it took you everything not to break eye contact awkwardly.

"I want someone to love. To take care of. To...own," his lips twitched upwards, but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "But you probably already know that, right noona? How that feels?"

You swallowed. You didn't understand what he was trying to get into and a part of you didn't want to dig into it. It made you uncomfortable...especially what he said about owning someone. So instead, you scrambled to swerve the conversation into a more light-hearted direction, your eyes moving away from his. Jaemin noticed, gaze following even the smallest twitch of your fingers.

"That means you just need to find a girlfriend, right?" You chuckled as you leaned over towards the table again so you wouldn't have to look at him. "Surely, you have one?"

The smile he gave you was enticing but full of meaning.

"No. None of us do. We have high standards when choosing our women. Just like how our parents taught us."

You nodded, and in that exact moment Haechan called out to you, probably to ask for help for his paper. You took that as your chance to push back from your seat and throw a smile at the boy beside you.

"I'm sure you'll find someone perfect. I have to go and help your brother though, so I'll come back to you later, okay? Can you try and solve another problem?"

Jaemin nodded and that was all it took for you to come flying to the other side of the room. You were so focused on your escape that you entirely missed the way his eyes locked with Jeno just a few seats from him, their gazes full of unspoken understanding.

-----

You were in the middle of wandering around the manor when the smell of cinnamon pulled you deeper into the inner corridors that you usually don't often dare to explore. It was in the middle of the afternoon and you've just finished your lessons with the four so you were simply waiting for your last sit down with Chenle and Jisung. You still have about 15 minutes before that, enough time for you to venture into the kitchen where the source of the delicious smell seems to be coming from. Peering around its doorway, you were met by the back of someone bent over the counter.

The man in question raised his hand into the air, revealing a small meat cleaver that gleamed under the kitchen light. You straightened in shock when he brought it down on something that let out a sickening crunch.

Taeyong suddenly turned to see you pinned by the door. He looked surprised for a brief few seconds but quickly recovered and turned his body to fully face you after. He was wearing an apron, streaked with what looked like blood.

"Hi. May I help you?" He asked with a smile.

You started and raised your hands in an apologetic manner. "Hey. I'm sorry, I smelled something wonderful while I was walking around and I decided to follow it here. I didn't mean to disturb you."

You saw a look of realization dawn on his face at what you said. "Oh! That must be the pie," he said as he reached out for a rag and wiped his hands there. You watched as he walked over to the other side of the kitchen where the oven is and bent over it. Grabbing a kitchen glove, he pulled the pastry from it which only filled the place even more with the smell of cinnamon and apples.

"Come on, your timing is perfect" he beamed at you and you couldn't help but smile back. You glanced briefly at your watch and figured it wouldn't hurt if you hang around for a little while.

"That smells amazing," you gushed as you walked over to his side and watched him slice the still steaming pie. He transferred it into a small plate and pushed it towards you.

"I was baking it in time for dinner. It's a good thing you came over before the boys decimated it."

That made you smile. You don't often see Taeyong around the manor because he is always busy with its upkeep but he has been nothing short of helpful in the rare times that you talk. You also noticed his genuine concern over the brothers, as if he isn't just a butler paid to work for his young masters. The others, from the looks of it, seem to respect him equally, too.

You took a bite from the piece he gave you now and let out a small hum of satisfaction after. Taeyong, who was watching you closely, smiled at your reaction.

"Good?"

"It's delicious!"

He gave a slight laugh before moving to cover the pie with a warmer. Your eyes drifted over to the place where he was bent over earlier then, your gaze stopping short at what looked like a hunk of meat there. You nodded towards it casually for the sake of making small talk.

"Is that for dinner too?"

Taeyong followed your gaze. "Oh, that. Yes. It's deer meat. I'm just dressing it before we cook it for later. Sorry, it’s still a bit messy. Jeno caught it."

"Jeno?"

"Yeah. He's a trained hunter. We do have a few game animals in the woods beyond and the boys always go and hunt in season. Jeno's the best among them though. He was the one his late father always used to take with him."

You nodded slowly before tearing your eyes away from the bloody mess.

"They all seem to be very talented…"

Taeyong smiled. "They all are. Very different from each other, but they all work well together. I suppose...you've noticed that now that you’ve started working with them?"

"Oh, yes. Definitely. They're all very smart. Sometimes, I even wonder if I'm even needed here," you joked.

The man in front of you raised his brows ever so slightly. "They're not giving you a hard time, are they?"

Your eyes snapped to him. Briefly, you thought of all the moments a strange feeling gnawed at your gut, but you dashed the thoughts before you could even dwell on them too much. You smiled and shook your head.

“No, not really. They are all very polite.”

You saw Taeyong visibly sigh.

“That’s great. I know the family isn’t really that popular with the others because the kids don’t go out too much. It’s not something they can help though. Their parents really raised them privately. They’re just… misunderstood.”

So he is aware of all the rumors and stories about them then? That tugged something in you and you couldn’t help but also feel guilty at your unjustified feelings. Maybe… you’re really just imagining things as an effect of all the rumors you’ve heard.

“If they give you trouble though, don’t hesitate to come and tell me about it. I’ll try to talk to them. We wouldn’t want to lose you here. You’re the only person they’ve liked as a tutor after so long,” Taeyong offered kindly. That made you blush just a little bit. That means… you’re doing a great job so far, right?

“I will. I also enjoy working here anyway. Really, when I saw your job ad, I couldn’t believe how good your offer is,” you said as you took another bite off your pie. Taeyong laughed softly as he pulled a few vegetables over and started chopping them.

“Was it the salary? To be honest, I didn’t really have any idea of the market rate when I was making it so I just put what I thought was right there.”

“Well… yes. That and the overall set-up, of course. I actually chose this job over a university post because I only have to deal with fewer students. That and I kinda sort of need the money for my wedding, too.”

Taeyong’s hands froze in the middle of chopping, his knife hovering just above the board. He looked at you slowly, surprised at what you just said. You barely noticed as you worked on scraping the last crumbles of pie from your plate.

“You’re engaged?”

“Hm? Ah, yes. I guess I haven’t mentioned that before,” you answered casually as you walked over to the sink to quickly wash the plate and fork that you’ve just used. He didn’t say anything after that, and for a while, you thought he had simply shrugged off what you just said.

“I didn’t know that. You weren’t wearing a ring…” he finally said and you turned to look at him.

“Oh. That. Well, I do have a ring, but I haven’t been able to wear it for a little bit. It’s actually a funny story. My fiance and I didn’t know that I was allergic to silver until he proposed to me. My skin kept burning when I wore it so right now, I don’t really bring it with me.”

Taeyong nodded slowly. Finally, he turned back to what he was doing, a small smile on his lips.

“That sounds so nice. Congratulations. We’re glad to be of help then, even for doing something as simple as adding you to the payroll,” he chuckled.

“You’re helping me more than you could ever realize,” You quipped back as your eyes landed on the overhead clock at the wall in front of you. Your eyes rounded upon seeing the time there and you quickly pushed yourself off the counter.

“Which is why I should probably hurry because I’m two minutes late for my lesson. I wouldn’t want you guys to fire me,” you joked as you sprinted towards the door. “Thanks again for the pie!” you added as a last afterthought before finally disappearing around the corner. That earned you a laugh from Taeyong whose last words you barely heard as you ran out of hearing range.

“Don’t worry about that. That’ll never happen.”

-----

“Noona!”

You were just about to open the front door when you heard your name being called out from the staircase that connects the main entrance to the lobby of the house. Turning around, you saw Jaemin peering at you from the first landing, his hair swept up as if he was running. You waited as he made his way towards you, a curious look on your face.

“Hey, is there any problem?”

He raised his hand just as he stopped in front of you. A necklace dangled from it, which caused you to gasp and have your hand flying to your neck.

“It’s yours, right?”

“Yes, oh my gosh, I didn’t even realize it fell off. Where did you find it?”

“At the library. Jisung found it there by the floor but he was too shy to give it to you so here I am,” he grinned, his perfect pearly whites in full display. That made you smile in relief.

“Well, thank you. I would be in big trouble if I lose it. It’s really important for me,” you raised your hand to grab the chain from his hand when he suddenly took a step closer towards you. You froze, your eyes wide as your brain tried to catch up with what was happening. Jaemin raised his arms and circled them around your neck, his face quite close to yours. You didn’t realize he was that tall until that moment when he loomed over you. Before you could even catch up with what was happening, however, he immediately stepped back, eyes pinning you in place.

“There. Don’t lose it again, okay?” he said with a lilt in his voice. Your heartbeat spiked as you felt his fingers slightly touch the skin of your neck before he pulled back to clasp his hands behind his back. That’s when you realized that he put your necklace on you again.

“It looks beautiful on you,” he added in a softer tone that made a strange feeling in your stomach slowly creep up your chest. That was enough to aggressively pull you back to reality, your legs moving to unconsciously take a step back from him.

“Th—Thank you. I…uhh… I’ll make sure to fix the clasp. It must have broke,” you said shakily, your hand moving towards your neck again to feel the cold of the chain against your skin. He simply nodded, his smile back to being playful.

“Well, I have to go then. Thank you again for this. Please tell Jisung I appreciate it too,” you turned and gave him a quick wave of your hand. You didn’t look back as you closed the door behind you.

Jaemin’s smile immediately bled from his face the moment the lock clicked shut. His eyes lost their mirth as he stared at the door, before moving to look at what he was holding behind his back. Face unreadable, he pulled the card from the royal blue envelope, gaze focusing on a name there.

Jung Jaehyun.

---

CHAPTER 3

Taglist: @negincho @jhornytrash @jaeminhyuckiii, @jungwoosswhore , @aj--7, @jsturkey

I don't know why some of the tags aren't working but I hope you guys can still see this T.T

#nct dream #nct yandere #nct dream yandere au #nct dream yandere #nct yandere fic #nct jaemin #nct mark #nct renjun #nct jeno #nct haechan #nct chenle #nct jisung #nct horror au #nct-writers

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angelhummel · 3 years ago

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Hey! Sorry if this is inappropriate or weird, it's gonna be a long ask, feel free to ignore if u like, anyway, to the point... a friend of mine asked me to read a Kurtbastian fic (I'm a multishipper but always Klaine above all), I usually stick to Klaine fics but I've already read 1 Kurtbastian and liked it enough so I thought I give this one a chance... I'm already invested and I have this thing where I have to finish things even if they're not really my cup of tea, but this fic is just so toxic against Blaine and Klaine in general, I don't know how my friend managed to like it and still ship Klaine, (I still do, don't get me wrong) but even tho it's an interesting read, it takes some canon s5 things and twists them in a emotionally manipulative way and it even gives me headache, it's just so well written and logical that makes me doubt about Blaine, they are some things in canon that I never understood but ignored them, like the cheating of course, how he blamed Kurt for it and this fic claims that Blaine is jealous of him and doesn't think he's as talented as him or Rachel and is selfish, and judges everything he does, like his workout and eating habits, or only does good things for him when he wants something in return

Or saying he's agressive for lashing out to Finn and Sam, and that thing in the car in Scandals

And also that Kurt only slept with Blaine because he was afraid he would go with Sebastian, because they've been texting a lot, and they we're dancing all night, and honestly I never found a way to explain that myself, cause it does look like Seb made him a little horny and he wanted to blow some steam with Kurt

So they use plots like those to say he would eventually hit Kurt (the episode bash does not exist in this au) and that he was always manipulating him but mostly in s5...so I guess I could use some reassurance if you're up for it, I really like your metas and headcanons about Klaine, I know neither Kurt or Blaine are perfect but they're still some behaviors I never understood myself but ignored them and this fic gives them logical but toxic explanations (also in this fic Seb changed a lot and apologized to Kurt and is this very sweet guy who has a perfectly logical explanation as to way he was the way he was to Kurt in high school, so that's why he seems better than Blaine in comparison in this fic lol) (also this fic claims Blaine would cheat again if Sam was gay or bi, and he did cheat in this fic and they paint him as a compulsive liar who lies to everyone about his relationship, to Kurt, to Sam, to Burt)

So what's your opinion I guess lol, why is Blaine not like this fic says?, I know he's a ray of sunshine who loves Kurt and would never hurt him on purpose but I'm kinda forgetting why, I'm scared lol

(this isn't hate of any kind to Blaine, I don't believe any of this things but I guess I just need a reminder that all of this isn't true lol)

Hiding under a cut because you know I got a lot to say lol

Mm okay first of all Blaine antis will do anything they can to paint him in the absolute worst possible light. No room for nuance or reason, he's just evil and manipulative and abusive. I've seen plenty of Blaine discourse but only ever purposefully read (at least part of) one anti Blaine fic where Blaine literally stole Kurt's NYADA acceptance letter and forged a new rejection letter and put it back in his mailbox. Just so he could comfort Kurt after his "rejection", then for some reason talk him into going to NY anyway, and also apparently planned for them to grow apart solely so he could have an excuse to cheat and then get mad at Kurt for getting distant? And people in the comments were like "This makes everything make so much sense! This is totally something Blaine would do! This explains everything!" like I was literally in shock lmao. I could not believe my eyeballs

And with Sebastian, literally any good trait you give him is 100% fictional. Whatever boohoo poor little rich boy story is given to him in fic, I can only imagine. But there's no evidence of that in canon. All we get in canon is that it takes Karofsky trying to kill himself before Sebastian realizes he's been an asshole to everyone. And even that's being generous bc he literally only says "I've treated everything like a joke. ... It's all fun and games until it's not". So being a rude and racist piece of shit and literally putting someone in the hospital was all for shits and giggles I guess

The whole "jealous of each other" thing I think is an old standby argument to explain why Klaine are incompatible. Bc they'll always be competing in life. So obviously it's better that they find a partner that won't push them to be better or challenge them in any way, I suppose. Y'know, bc there's no way a relationship can have two strong personalities and talents in it :|

And yes, he does have some pent up anger that, like I said, can manifest itself in unhealthy ways. I see where he was coming from in 3x08 but he definitely went too far and struck a nerve with Sam. But Sam was the one that physically lashed out first. But honestly, even if the fight hadn't been broken up immediately, I don't think it would've lasted that long. Blaine only took up boxing in the first place as self defense. He'd rather go toe to toe with a punching bag than actively try and harm someone else. And he would never lash out at Kurt like that. None of their fights ever got close to physical. Except for, again, stage combat class with prop swords. That's not exactly on the same level

For 3x05... Kurt was already self conscious and worried about boring Blaine before Sebastian even came along. But Blaine reassured him that he was "the single most interesting kid in all of Ohio". Kurt didn't want Blaine to be unsatisfied, but Blaine assured Kurt that he was fine taking things slow, and that no matter what happened, the important thing was that they were both comfortable. It's obvious that during the week, Sebastian ends up getting under both their skins. I think they go to Scandals just to keep up with Sebastian but that's it. If Kurt's only reason for having sex with Blaine was to keep him on the hook, he would've forced himself to get physical with him in the car in the parking lot. But he didn't. He put his foot down and told Blaine this wasn't what he wanted. And Blaine didn't understand at first, but did once he sobered up. And he made sure to apologize, and reassured Kurt that Sebastian meant nothing to him (lots of words of affirmation this ep!) Kurt cracks a joke, they kiss, and Kurt makes up his mind on his own that this is the right time for them, and they go back to Blaine's place. No manipulation in sight

I've talked a lot about Blaine cheating before so here's a couple of more recent posts that have pretty much everything I still feel x - x

As for cheating on Sam... That really is only an anti Blaine fanfic problem bc it could not happen in canon bc canon!Sam is only straight. Sorry bout it :/ Even if he was bi in canon, the closest we ever saw Blam was in s4 when Klaine was broken up. They could've gone for it then and it wouldn't have mattered. But in the show, even when Blaine was at a low point, there was never anything to suggest he was looking to stray again. Early s4 was a special kind of low point for Blaine and he never got there again. Even with his troubles in s5, it's not like he was turning to Sam for comfort or reassurance. He confronted Elliott once in anger, but every other time we see him and Kurt sit down in the end and talk out their issues. The only way it would make sense for Blaine to seek out someone else is if some random fanfic writer said "I'm going to make Blaine seek out someone else" and then rewrote everything around it to make their story make more sense. Which, again, is twisting canon into something it's not

And the liar thing doesn't even make sense. Like I mention in the cheating post, he's literally one of the veryyy few people that does wrong and then immediately tries to make it right instead of hiding it as long as he can. He goes to NY to confess to Kurt right after. And he tells Sam exactly what happened, too. Like we literally see a flashback of Blaine feeling awful and regretting what he did, then Blaine tells Sam he felt awful and regretted what he did. Idk where the lie was supposed to be. Some people will come up with anything they can I guess

I think that covers everything! Hope it helped ♥️

#glee #kurt hummel #blaine anderson #klaine #my thoughts #anonymous #long post #anti sebastian smythe #anti kurtbastian #anti blam #just to be safe #suicide tw #assault tw #anti blaine antis #lol #just over 1k words of nothing but blaine and klaine defense

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mintwritten · 3 years ago

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･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── hi, hello! i'm mint.

est timezone. 25+. she/her pronouns. reaaaally bad at intros but back on my love for 1v1 discord plots and great at dumping way too many headcanons at your feet. i generally prefer long-term plots, write way too much sometimes, and live for character development and world building. i don't mind more casual plots, though— hit me up!

(or just like this. i’ll come to you.)

[ PREFERENCES ]

i use a variety of different faces (EASTERN & WESTERN) for a variety of different plots that catch my interest. admittedly, i do love korean entertainment fcs. sometimes, especially for canon fictional characters, i prefer not to use fcs at all. overall, i prefer queer ships (MM, FF, ETC.) but still enjoy the occasional MF ship.

[ TROPES / IDEAS ]

rivals to lovers, annoying neighbors, friends to lovers, starving artists & musicians, love triangles, childhood besties, star-crossed lovers, twitch streamers, delinquents, co-workers, dysfunctional/toxic relationships, fake relationships, reunited exes, celebrities, long-distance relationships

[ SERIES / VERSES ]

sci-fi & space opera, dragon age, post-apocalyptic, low, modern & high fantasy, mass effect, historical, slice-of-life, pacific rim, good omens, pokémon, dystopian, the witcher universe, a:tla, the outer worlds, supernatural & paranormal, greek mythos, the elder scrolls

[ MATURE ] plots are fine! but i usually leave sexual content for established/long-term plots and characters.

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massively-multiplayer-cereal · 4 years ago

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I have no idea if you're still taking asks for the gender/sexuality/opinions character thing you reblogged a while back but if you are, could I request Sylvanas and/or Flynn and/or Wrathion? (I hope it's okay to excavate old posts! Either way I hope you have a good evening!)

i definitely still am, especially considering no one else sent an ask for it lmaoo ,,

also sorry this took until the next day! the post is very long ,, and you have a good day too ^-^

(also i LOVE when people excavate my posts because it means they liked my commentary on things enough to actually scroll through my whole blog so thank you for being an excavator XD)

anyways:

wrathion:

sexuality headcanon: Gay As Hell

gender headcanon: usually i see him as and write him as a cis male, but I mean.. trans male wrathion kinda hits different 👀

A ship I have with said character: WRANDUIN. W. R. A. N. D. U. I. N.

a brotp I have with said character: him and flynn just have this Vibe like they'd be really good friends if they met. i feel like they'd cause trouble together while anduin and shaw just sigh in the distance about their respective mischievous boyfriends. flynn x wrathion is mischief brotp.

a notp I have with said character: apparently some people ship him with alexstrazsa, so yeah alexstrazsa x wrathion is my notp for him. not that. never that. why?

a random headcanon: this makes no sense outside of my own brain but i like to think that wrathion somehow invented and/or popularized the use of the word 'gay' to mean homosexual on azeroth. it makes sense in my very specific au (that I haven't shared anywhere yet skdndsn), and doesn't work outside it, but hey, i like it lol

general opinion over said character: he is a little bastard and i love him so, so much. if anyone hurts him i will murder them with my bare hands. wrathion is the epitome of that 'i will now cause problems on purpose' meme. it is a wonderful day on azeroth and he is a horrible, horrible dragon.

flynn:

sexuality headcanon: he is the ULTIMATE bisexual disaster

gender headcanon: cis male

a ship i have with said character: FAIRSHAW. F. A. I. R. S. H. A. W.

a brotp i have with said character: flynn and taelia is the ultimate brotp ever, because they are just best friends with no romantic feelings whatsoever, and honestly it's SO refreshing to see a man and woman be super close friends in media without romantic hints. also i project my relationship with my (male) best friend onto them and my best friend is basically my brother so yeah. I love taelia and flynn just Being best friends.

a notp i have with said character: flynn x taelia romantically,, like,, i just.. mm it is very squicky for me.. I do Not Like. them romantically is just No Thank You. like morally there isn’t anything wrong with it but i just Do Not Enjoy romantic taelia x flynn.

a random headcanon: he has the azerothian equivalent of a tramp stamp. it’s has two dolphins and an anchor. do not ask why i have this headcanon, because i have no idea why either ,,

general opinion over said character: i love flynn so much dude it's not even funny how much i love him. he is my emotional support imaginary himbo best friend.

sylvanas:

sexuality headcanon: lesbian because i project onto fictional characters i love too much

gender headcanon: similar to wrathion, usually i see her as and write her as a cis woman, but I mean.. trans woman sylvanas is really good ,,

a ship i have with said character: sylvaina, sort of? in canon, i have no actual sylvanas ships, but in aus i really really like sylvaina sjdbfdjsnnd

a brotp i have with said character: i feel like her and kael'thas would be crazy good friends if she had survived the purge of quel'thalas, so sylvanas x kael'thas brotp I guess XD

a notp I have with said character: sylvanduin. it is way too common (luckily, not on tumblr, but on other platforms,) for being a ship that under ANY circumstances would be insanely toxic. no matter what au it is, it's a ridiculous age gap to the point of being gross, and if someone ships it in canon, i hate it even more. sylvanduin is just so insanely toxic..

a random headcanon: she literally doesn’t even LIKE GUYS but she pretended to have the hots for nathanos to get him to do what she wanted him to. that's what you call an epic gamer move.

general opinion over said character: i actually like her even though a ton of people hate her. honestly, like, she was always kinda evil. there was always a lot of hints that she was bad, so that wasn't out of nowhere. but, also, blizz took it too far too quickly. personally, i think the undercity thing still should've happened just like it did, but she should've been more chill during the start of bfa. she should've been slowly ramping up in her intensity and brutality over the course of the war, and teldrassil's burning should've happened at the end of the first patch of bfa, when she was finally at 'her full evilness.' it's after teldrassil when the whole 'oh no baine in jail, chase away the evil lady' thing should've happened. WOWEE i went on a tangent, but tl;dr i love sylvanas even tho she’s really evil and think teldrassil should’ve happened later. also in the new cinematic sylvanas is HOT she has FANGS

#world of warcraft #flynn fairwind #anduin wrynn #wrathion #fairshaw #wranduin #alexstrasza #sylvanas windrunner #jaina proudmoore #sylvaina #baine bloodhoof #nathanos blightcaller #teldrassil #undercity #wow

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missmentelle · 5 years ago

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Do you think I'm bad for treating my parents just as horrible as they used to treat me?

I don’t necessarily think you’re a bad person, but I do think that this might not be the best use of your time.

As humans, I think it’s a pretty natural impulse for us to want revenge on the people who’ve wronged us. When someone has hurt you, it can be very tempting to think about how good it might feel to see that person get hurt back. This can be especially true of abusive parents - as a child, you were powerless to fight back against the ways that they treated you, and now that you are an adult, the thought of using your newfound power to get back at them can be very enticing. I can understand the attraction here. But this situation is not about what your parents deserve - it’s about what’s genuinely best for you.

When you escape from something as horrible as child abuse or a generally crappy childhood, you need to think about what’s actually going to help you recover from those experiences and move forward with a happier and healthier life - and continuing to have a toxic relationship with your parents is not going to help you do that. When you keep your parents in your life so you can torment them, you are keeping that cycle of rage, anger and abuse going, even if you are now on the other side of it. Instead of learning healthier relationship patterns and reclaiming the time and energy that you’ve lost to them, you are continuing to let toxic people take up space in your heart and mind, and you are digging yourself deeper into entrenched patterns of harm and abuse. Saying or doing something terrible to your parents might give you a temporary sense of power over them, but causing them harm doesn’t heal you.

There’s also the fact that, while you and your parents may be on relatively equal footing right now, that’s not always going to be true - your parents are going to get older and sicker and weaker as you come into the prime of adulthood. Eventually, you’re going to reach a point where you are simply abusing people who can’t really defend themselves, exactly like your parents did. I know that you may want your parents to know how it feels to be treated the way you were treated, but resorting to their tactics just opens you up to the same anger and bitterness that drove them to mistreat you in the first place. It also doesn’t reflect as well on you as you’d hope - even though the friends, family and significant others in your life can understand having a bad relationship with your parents or not wanting contact with them, watching you actively mistreat your parents will put a lot of people off, regardless of your reasons for doing it. There comes a point where it starts to make people wonder what else you might be capable of, and it will harm your relationships and mental health rather than helping them.

I know it’s fictional, but the show Bojack Horseman does an excellent job of showing all the various reasons why taking revenge on an abusive parent doesn’t actually resolve your issues with them [spoilers ahead]. Bojack spends much of the series trying to get back at his aging mother for all of the cruel and horrible things she has said and done to him over the course of his life. She was a vicious, critical and neglectful parent, and although there is no excuse for what she did, Bojack’s attempts to get revenge on her don’t actually take the sting out of any of the things that she did, and they don’t actually make her realize the error of her ways. He is just increasingly unkind to his frail, dementia-riddled mother - to the point that it alarms the people around him - without ever realizing that his mistreatment of her isn’t actually giving him the closure he wants. When she finally dies without any of the issues in their relationship actually being resolved, Bojack realizes that his escalating abuse of her was all for nothing, and that he wasted time hating her instead of meaningfully moving on - “my mother is dead, and everything is worse now”.

Sometimes, the best revenge is living well, and leaving toxic people behind. If your parents - or anyone else in your life, for that matter - has been a consistently negative influence, don’t let them be a part of your life anymore. Cut them off entirely. Get the therapy you need to recover from the way that they treated you, and focus on building the healthiest relationships that you can. Sometimes the best way to get back at abusive parents is to build a life that doesn’t have a single trace of them in it - they just have to watch from distant sidelines as you defy their expectations, leave all of the unhealthy patterns they taught you in the dust, and create a life filled with love that they can only dream of having. It doesn’t mean that you have to forgive your parents for what they did - I don’t actually believe that forgiveness is always necessary or even possible - but you can choose to rise above the example that they set and live a life that doesn’t involve them.

For what it’s worth, my own mother has struggled with this for most of her adult life. She ran away from her extremely abusive home at 16, and for a long time, she concentrated her energy on hating her parents. When I was a child, I would overhear her telling my father that she sometimes wished her parents would be hit by a bus. They wrote vicious letters back and forth, competing to see who could make the most cutting personal insult. When I was maybe 8 years old, my mother finally made the decision to cut both of her parents off, and just focus on her own life. And it helped. My mom no longer came back crying from checking the mail, she stopped having heated phone arguments that left her angry and throwing things around for hours after they ended, and she started having time for things that were more productive for her. She found hobbies, made new friends, spent more time with us kids. My grandfather died last year, and before he went, my mother and I flew to see him for the first time in 20 years as he lay on his deathbed. That was a very emotional trip for my mother - my grandfather died from complications of Alzheimer’s, and it was difficult for my mother to process that the monster of her childhood just didn’t really exist anymore, and that there was never going to be one final confrontation that gave her the vindication she wanted. But she made her peace with it - her revenge is the life she led without him, and she was able to say goodbye to her father without feeling like there was anything left unsaid between them. Sometimes you have to choose healing over vindication. Best of luck to you. MM

#Anonymous

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fcarher · 5 years ago

Text

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: slug / ellie Age: 19 Contact: IM, discord

Character(s) I rp: Yunaeisha Adynora, other demons from my lore Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Yunaeisha Current Fandom(s): None really Fandom(s) you have an AU for: Naruto, PKMN, Magi, Gangsta, OPM, MHA, Hazbin Hotel & currently working on an ATLA verse My language(s): german, polish, italian, english Themes I’m interested in for rp: Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: highschool, modern & fantasy/medieval

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?: YES / NO only by Mutuals?: YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?: YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?: YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?: 24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?: IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting: the best way is just to straight up approach me. most often than not, just liking a post is not enough because it’s too vague ?? like if i post an idea & you like that, i’ll still be hesitant when it comes to roleplaying or approaching you because, while i appreciate such gestures, i’m just too anxious. therefore, plopping into my IMs without a properly fleshed out idea is also fine ! it, at least, gives me the hint that you’re actively seeking interaction. however, just saying “i want to roleplay & plot !” won’t cut it; at least, have something in mind, please !

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner: basic ideas & pouring their heart into plotting! i don’t mind waiting, at all, so if you’re busy, don’t worry about keeping me waiting; i completely understand since i’m also often busy with work or university. but !! please don’t only come to me with the statement: “i want to plot!” it’s not gonna cut it & it’s not gonna help with a proper interaction, at all. if i approach someone, most often than not, i have SOME sort of idea in mind. but yeah, being passionate is the most important thing!

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?: most often than not, the conversation will die down because i will loose motivation; i don’t like it because i’ll feel like a bother & i shouldn’t feel that way when it comes to a hobby! therefore, one-sided plotting is one of my deal breakers; i usually end the conversation & there will be little to no interaction happening. like i said; i don’t mind waiting, i just hate that feeling of coming on TOO strong when my plotting partner delivers no input.

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?: often than not, i start off with rather simple question like; are you interested in a certain verse ? do you already have something in mind ? if not, i will go through their about page & ask them things about their character & how that could possibly bring our characters to interact. sometimes, the about pages of a muse cannot give you every single bit of information; muses grow & change with each thread, therefore, it’s often better to just ask the people about their characters ! & from then on, it often just comes naturally.

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if the thread is not THAT important or vital for our character’s relationship; i don’t mind & won’t need to know if the thread is dropped. sometimes, if it’s a heavily plotted thread & i’ve anticipated the interaction a lot; i’d appreciate a quick heads-up from my partner that they’re not feeling that certain thread any longer; i don’t mind that !! - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?: they don’t need to tell me; SOMETIMES, it’s just a nice gesture but most of the time, i don’t care, we can always start another thread !!

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?: many things can lead to me dropping a thread; just losing motivation, having no muse for a certain genre or simply having the feeling that my partner is not liking it, any longer (ex. extreme lack of trying to match the reply length ). my health & my schedule can also, sadly, affect my motivation, so, more often than not, i tend to drop shorter threads & keep longer ones. - Will you tell your partner?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you? YES / NO. - And why?: i get anxious really fast if people stop replying for a very long time, out of the blue. it has happened to me once before with a good friend with whom i have no contact with any longer due to miscommunication & them not trying to communicate the issue with me; therefore, yes, it is very important. i wanna know if something is bothering you; i wanna know if you like something very much; i wanna know what’s up ! we’re humans & we’re adults; we can talk about this. - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?: yes ! as long as it is constructive criticism & not straight-up bashing my characters or lore; i’m all for it. i don’t mind hearing negative things; in fact, i appreciate the honesty & it gives me room to work on myself & my writing ! - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way? YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?: building relationships that LAST & exploring my muses through & through; it is amazing how much yuna has grown through interactions with others; how different she has become from the yuna i once started out with; it’s almost been a year now & it’s just amazing. however, i’m not stopping anytime soon; THERE IS SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO EXPLORE !! the ultimate goal is for me to just look at my blog & be completely proud of what i have accomplished & written; i want fleshed out relationships & threads; deep stuff !!

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios: yuna talking with someone about her struggles; mentally & physically. being open about her abusive father & how it has traumatized her & painted men in the worst picture one could imagine. HOWEVER; a hard thing because i don’t want these things to be pre-est or something; i want a thread where there is struggling, screams, conflict ! it is rather hard to find someone, though, who is willing & fitting to go onto that long journey with me & yuna. also, i’d love to write about darker stuff; i love fluff, though, sometimes i sure want a bit of that, too.

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore: the only things i won’t rp or explore are stated in my rules; ex. pedophilia, rape & really descriptive animal abuse. killing, torture, gore as well as cheating, heartbreak or toxic relationships are okay, while i do prefer to have a deeper bond with someone while exploring the latter & be communicating the whole time; i think these are really REAL topics & that’s why i wouldn’t mind exploring them because it does happen, more than one would like them to happen. however, if i see you, the mun, glorifying or romanticizing these; just no.

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: i like everything with some sort of substance; i love short ones as much as long ones, nevertheless, you have to give me something to work with. yuna would ignore anyone not of any interest or value to her; therefore, if your muse just asks her random questions, the interaction will go nowhere. if you’re unsure; just ask !!

What type of characters catch your interest the most?: i love characters with uniqueness to them; it can be a certain interest, certain appearance or their species can be totally unique to them; i’ll love it ! i do have a thing for villains, though; always had, even when i was young 8^) so, dark, stubborn & “evil” characters catch my interest far more than a really nice muse who just is all smiles all day. i love a muse that can kick mine & yuna’s ass, basically. someone with strong morals or who is just really set on their beliefs can also offer conflict which i ADORE !! i need it; i live for it !!

What type of characters catch your interest the least?: really kind & unbothered muses who are self-sacrificing, perfect & loved by everyone for no reason ?? idk, i just think it’s bad writing. everyone has flaws; no one is perfect !

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?: i am a very open person who will talk with you about anything & is keen on exploring our character’s relationship at all times & through all means; i often send my rp partners prompts in form of my yuna just being her dumb-self or through memes ! i will constantly think about our characters & will try to have them interact as much as possible. i am, most of the time, very active & respond to the threads fairly quickly ! if i am totally invested; you’ll get everything you want; a moodboard, an edit, a drawing, etc. i literally pour my heart & soul into every bond my muse has; i live for them. oh !! i also love asking people question about their characters; i just love learning new things about them !!

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: i’m very slow out of character; i don’t approach muns a lot because i’m scared to be a bother, working on it ! i often ramble a lot & my writing can become a bit convoluted & hard to understand, i apologize ! i tend to not message people on discord as often as i’d like to; mostly because i’m really socially awkward or just don’t think that what i want to show to them is THAT important. i’m not as straight-forward as i wish myself to be; however, even with all that; i still have a lot of fun & am acknowledging & actively working on my weak aspects !

Do you rp smut?: YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?: YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?: often, it is because i want to develop the relationship or yuna’s character; she’s a very sexual being who hardly connects to someone emotionally; therefore, writing sex & exploring the vulnerability behind it can be really beautiful ! though, fun is also involved ! - Anything you would not want to rp there?: non-consensual stuff is a no-go ! also, certain kinks that make me uncomfortable are also off the table; ex. anything involving bodily fluids other than spit.

Are ships important to you?: YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?: YES / NO. Do you use read more?: YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship — Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?: i love the conflicts the most; clashing ideals or just two stubborn muses arguing for the heck of it is really fun & can develop the relationship beautifully ! yuna is a person who likes someone that can be properly fought with, verbally here. but of course, i also adore the very soft moments!! i love meaningless fluff; it warms my heart. - What is your smut tag?: SINFUL.

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: nothing TOO drastic; a friendship, a rivalry is a-okay ! however, i’m very hesitant when it comes to having pre-est. romantic relationships; though, you can quickly change my mind if you pour your soul into the plotting; then i’m fine with it ! everything that needs time when writing also needs time when plotting; don’t just straight up jump into something if you’re not able to give it your all.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?: i think yuna is a person with whom it is easy to form relationships with; it takes a bit of time but due to her rather drastic ideals & opinions; anything can be founded within seconds. she doesn’t hold back when it comes to her honesty & conflicts will arise. also, for all muses with demonic or deity backgrounds; being a daughter of the literal queen of hell, though, also harboring fragments of a god’s soul makes her unique in the supernatural world which can spark interest with your character or even they can develop an ill-will towards her ? i think it’s really interesting exploring what makes one work & go on & yuna has the philosophical potential to tickle that out of your muse; she question EVERYTHING. now for certain plots; one-sided love or even friendships are always really interesting, especially when she is the one having such feelings. other than that; she has enormous & dangerous powers; so if you’re into character or world-building; can offer that as well !

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?: humans; she doesn’t approach humans who are just kind & have nothing to offer for her, the least she’d do is have sex with them or kill them to harvest their life energy. i’m sorry but she really does hate all of humanity & to change that opinion ? man, you must be the most stubborn person ever. - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?: characters who are of supernatural or demonic nature; she’ll be very interested & even nosy to a point. also, very attractive characters who are not afraid to speak their mind; she’s really superficial most of the time & will flirt with anything that she deems good-looking. muses who have ideals that contrast hers or that are similar to her but also, generally, people who are open-minded.

- What interests your Muse(s) in general: sex, parties, plants & flowers, astronomy, writing, demons & hell, the underground scene, killing, knives & playing the piano - What do they desire, is their goal?: the questions that bother her the most are; why did her mother had to die ? why would nobody help her while she was being abused by her father ? why was she kept alive by her sisters ? is there love out there for someone like her ? what do these strange visions mean that occur almost every night ? she has a lot of things she wants to experience & wishes to have a normal life once she has killed her other mother, lilith, which is her ultimate goal, at the moment. - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?: their appearance; the scent of their blood & if it differs from humans; how they react towards her & what they do in front of her. - What do they value in a person?: strong opinions, loyalty, good looks, humor, strength (not limited to physical strength) - What themes do they like talking about?: herself or the world & the state of it; she likes being philosophical with some, can often be somewhat self-centered; THOUGH; it is almost always for her to see how they would react to that.

- Which themes bore them?: love & drama; she does not care a lot for gossip or anything relating to it; the topic of love, no matter in which sense, is always brushed off because she just doesn’t find any appeal in it.

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?: Being the reason her own mother committed suicide; Her father & sister abusing her all her life, spouting lies & beating her until she could stand no more while her other sisters would watch & do nothing, even though, they were supposed to support each other; laewa, one of her sisters, fancying the idea of killing yuna for the greater good; two of her best friends turning on her when they find out she’s not human & then being killed right in front of her eyes; her one & only boyfriend protecting her from a demon hunter & being killed in the process - What could possibly trigger them?: loud sudden noises; making fun of her attachment to her late ex-boyfriend, being awfully nice to her, the sight of any dog or wolf, tender touches (esp. her back being touched), being alone with her thoughts for far too long - What could set them off, enrage them?: people who make fun of her & her powers; calling her a monster; not understanding her pain when she opens up; purposefully touching her back or any other scarred skin, being nosy - What could lead to an instant kill?: you are a demon hunter that does not show remorse when killing demons with a consciousness, trying to kill her, killing one of her comrades

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?: Keela Adynora, Myra Adynora (Father, Sister), the other D.O.L.s, EYES’ superiors (the organization she works for), Humans, Lilith - Is there someone /-thing they love?: Evelin Adynora (Her biological mother)

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: If you’re not quite human or are a demon, you could literally stand next to her & be silent; she’ll become curious on her own. other than that; be interesting or flirt with her; just do something that does not involve small talk; she hates that. - Where are they usually to find?: strip club (her workplace), bars, clubs, clearings within a forest, nice areas that are full of trees & plants; a roof-top

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?: Yuna is basically pandora’s box personified; she may seem nice & attractive from the outside but within her are sleeping demons that only wait to be awakened. & withal, she is still a cutie who will become your number one supporter & protector if you manage to build a proper relationship with. it’s hard to get through that shell & what awaits is NOT that pretty but with years upon years of abuse, neglect & shit being thrown her way; it’s not easy being a carefree immortal.

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by: @skyvar , i srsly love these so much, snow !! thank you for tagging me <3 i had so much fun 8′) Tagging: @thevvolf ; @nezumi-vc-103221 ; @empiia ; @dvojakyvlk ; @childrenxfthemoon ; @hensetsu ; @goldempire ; @animatedatrophy ; @talonness ; @shikkotsunin ; @wcrthlessanimal & anyone else !!

#˗ ˋ † ᴏᴏᴄ ﹕ slug arrived !#˗ ˋ † ᴅᴏꜱꜱɪᴇʀ ﹕ the things that were left in this life i call mine !#( ajsjas u dont have to do this ofc !! bUT IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN!! )#( also thanks again now !! i really liked this one 8) <3 )

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