#misusing useful information to be shitty basically

[shitlordsheher]

Did anyone else get recommended a Spotify wrapped ai podcast, and if so did you listen to it? Mine made me a bit uncomfortable and I'll explain why. And I'll state up front that I don't support ai. I think there's good uses for ai, but using it for art or as an entertainment medium is irresponsible and a waste.

First I'll describe what it was like in case it's the kind of thing that only gets recommended to podcast listeners. So the format is basically just a recap of my Spotify wrapped with two unnamed voices (probably because of ai), a female and a male, chatting about my top songs and artists, adding little informational tidbits about certain artists or songs, and almost reading my wrapped like a horoscope ("this is what these artists say about your mood during this time" type shit).

So now I'll get into what made me uncomfortable about it. It feels like it's based on podcasts that you've listened to throughout the year, and it doesn't feel like that's hidden very well but it's not outright confirmed either.

So during the past month or so, I've been listening to the Imp and Skizz podcast (I won't go into details, but if you haven't heard of it I cannot recommend enough that you give it a listen. It's even on YouTube if you'd prefer watching instead of just listening). I'll note that this is the only podcast I've listened to so far on Spotify (or ever if I'm honest).

The reason I bring that up is because of the voices used in the ai podcast. As I mentioned, it's two voices; a male and a female. I'll disregard the female voice because that part was just okay. Not good by any means, but not the part I want to talk about. The male voice is the one that makes me uneasy because to my little ears, it sounded like a combination of Impulse and Skizzleman's voices. Like there's certain quirks about each of their voices that I could vaguely pick up on references to in the ai voice.

Another thing that I caught onto was the flow of the "conversation". It also felt like a shitty ripoff of the Imp and Skizz podcast. For example, every time, or almost every time, it switched from one subject to another the female voice would name the new topic and the male voice would repeat the keyword of that topic ("...and that's how you were feeling in September. Now in October..." "October." "Yes, now..."). Maybe that's how a lot of podcasts flow or whatever, but it specifically reminded me of the podcast I've been listening to. Impulse and Skizzleman don't talk like that constantly, but it's definitely something I notice while listening. Now the big reason that specific detail throws me off so bad is because rather than helping the flow like it does normally, it feels like it gets overused and really disrupts the flow.

Those are really the only two points I can think of to complain about, but if anyone else has more info or if you just want to share your thoughts on it, I'd love to read what you have to say. If by giving it a listen even once I contributed to the misuse of ai, please also let me know about that. I assumed that was produced alongside the regular Spotify wrapped so I thought that one critical listen wouldn't hurt too much. Sorry for another long post, but I really wanted to share my thoughts.

[redflagshipwriter]

Bruce let him go, hands shaking slightly. Jason pretended that he didn’t notice. Bruce cleared his throat and graveled out, “That cult is all in custody at the moment, charged with kidnapping. I expect that we will have more information today.”

Jason cringed. “Charged with kidnapping me?” He cringed again. That was so embarrassing. “What is wrong with you?” His voice went too high.

Bruce went very still, clearly aware that Jason hated his shit attempt at comfort but clearly not pinging onto why. “They committed a crime,” he said slowly. “We require information as to what they did.”

Jason thought longingly about breaking in and threatening the cult and the police into silence. He really could not afford the hit to his reputation that this could do. Being kidnapped? The Red Hood, kidnapping victim? It lacked a certain gravitas.

“What happened? Where did you go?” Tiny Tim was the first person to ask a sensible question through Nightwing's comms. “Was it just some simple transportation spell?” Dick sniffled and cocked his head, waiting for the response.

“None of your business,” Jason said, because he really did not want to announce his engagement. “Not now. I am going to get out of these clothes and eat something.”

Christ. He was going to have to say something, eventually. But he pushed it off. Dealing with that baby cult wasn’t urgent.

Jason managed to escape from his family using top-tier tactics like growling, “Fuck you old man, I am tired after a long hard night of running and shit,” and stalking down the sidewalk ignoring all attempts to engage. Dick hovered anxiously on the sidewalk as Jason firmly shut the safehouse door in his face and engaged the locks.

They should be happy. They knew where he was. Jason put down his books with a sigh of relief and massaged at his shoulder muscles. His traps were killing him. He had probably been too ambitious when packing up, but it had been pretty damn funny to watch Danny’s eyes get bigger and rounder while he loaded up books and pretended not to know it was impressively heavy.

Honestly, Danny was awfully cute for the King of the Dead, Jason mused to himself. Clearly not evil enough to immediately try misusing his power by keeping Jason there or bossing him around, so that was a good sign. He hefted the bags onto the table and unzipped them to make sure that everything was laying respectfully flat. He would have expected some creepy mean motherfucker, not a young adult who spoke like a college student. If he hadn’t been basically gifted to the bastard, Jason might have teased him. He might have liked to have seen how he blushed. Could he blush? Would it be blue or what?

Ah, well. He would never know, because he had an iron willpower and was not going to flirt with the fucker. Jason picked out the first book he intended to read and set it reverently by the sofa. Then he went to get cleaned up. Showering, taking care of his equipment, and getting set up with a drink and a simple meal took nearly two hours. 

He sank into the reward for his shitty day with a sigh. Fuck yeah. It was time to see if Mr. Darcy was a rude bastard in the same way in this version.

Jason stayed up too late reading. He woke up feeling a little more generous to his dumb, embarrassing family. He stretched and yawned away the remnants of green dreams with eerie mermaid boys and castles. It took a few minutes to struggle to a seated position on the edge of the bed and rub away the sleep from his eyes.

“Wonder what Danny boy is up to.” Jason sniffed and ran a hand through his hair. “Do ghosties sleep?” 

He accidentally envisioned it. Danny had fine-boned features, deceptively delicate. He would probably look even prettier when he wasn’t zipping around saying atrocious shit. He was always in motion- how would he look in repose? Would his hair still move like he was underwater? Would he sleep in a classically ‘dead’ pose like a vampire with his hands interlaced on a chest that would never rise and fall? Would he look peaceful or could he somehow still have that mischievous atmosphere?

Okay, wow. Jason shook his head vigorously to get the daydreams out. He frowned a little to himself as he got up for the day. It was his version of morning, around 1pm.

He was not going to get invested in this guy. That would be so embarrassing. He was going to read those damn books, and then when he had read everything he ever wanted from an Infinite.. An infinite ghost library, then he would work on getting rid of their connection.

“Alright,” Jason said to himself. “I sense that I have been lying to myself.”

Whoops. It was too early for self reflection.

He pushed that realization down waaaay deep and got ready for the day. It felt like going to war. He armored up in his brown leather jacket, white t-shirt, and a pair of jeans from the safehouse stash. 

“Those motherfuckers are going to bother me as soon as I go out there,” Jason muttered to himself. He rolled his neck and steeled himself for it. Fuck them, fuck that. He was going to go out for a nice hot breakfast and read in the sunshine for at least an hour before he was going to deal with their high-strung bullshit. 

He hit the right numbers to unlock the safehouse for the night. He stepped out into the morning light and saw-

Nobody.

Jason scoffed to himself. “What am I, chopped liver?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and slouched away in search of a decent diner that wouldn’t kick a guy out for holing up with a book for hours. 

It was probably just too early for all those bat creeps. They were still in bed. Jason made his way slightly uptown, towards the college campuses.

Hot Ghouls in your area ch 5 part 1 of 2

Masterpost

Jason found himself back in the real world (the human world?) in fuckin Star City. Christ. Luckily, his electronics came on line. They weren’t fried, then. He looked up the nearest zeta tube and booked it over there, not eager to get caught in another hero’s city.  The worst part would be that Batman would inevitably smooth it out on his behalf and go growl at Queen for having the audacity to try to arrest him. Jason did not need to get bailed out by his asshole Dad, thanks. 

He wasn’t worried about Green Arrow and his crew per se, but it would be a shitstorm he didn’t need even if he managed to get out. 

Not when he was so laden down with books that he had unfolded both dufflebags stored in his suit, for fuckin sure. Sure, they’d make phenomenal weapons if he swung ‘em around, but the books deserved better than that. 

His comm forced itself on as soon as he came through to Gotham.

“You’re back!” Barbie said, breathless. “You’re alive? Right?”

Jason snorted. The street he stepped onto wasn’t fully dark yet. Patrol probably hadn’t started. “I’m alive,” he confirmed. “How long was I gone?”

“About ten hours,” she said.

Oh. Jason pursed his lips. It wasn’t dusk, it was dawn. “Tonight must have been fun,” he said lightly. 

She laughed darkly. “You’re about to find out how fun it was.”

He stopped in his tracks. “Hey, no-”

Oracle opened up a line to what was probably every vigilante in Gotham city. “Hood is back and safe,” she announced, gleeful about throwing him to the wolves. “He’s on 2nd and Grim, for anyone who wants to drop by and tell him how much they missed him.” 

Jason cursed a blue streak and started off at a dead sprint as he reached for his grappling hook. It was a lot slower than usual since he was swinging two enormous bags of books. …Could he even grapple with these? Goddamn. He’d be over the weight limit. He cursed even harder and put the hook back.

“Heading west,” Oracle said cheerfully, and then clicked off a bare instant before he manually mashed the damn power button on his setup. Nope, nope, nope, he was not dealing with this shit tonight. 

He made it about four blocks and was so goddamn close to a safehouse (one of Bruce’s, but he could put it on lockdown) when a wailing blue and black blur emerged from the skies.

“We thought you died,” Nightwing warbled at him. Jesus fucking christ, he had been crying. His face was wet. Jason tried to duck away but he was too laden. He struggled against the hold for a few futile seconds before he went limp.

Dick sniffled into his chest. 

“Shut up,” Jason said, shoulders nearly up to his ears. He didn’t need to hear any criticism of how he had handled that cult situation, or any grieving about how this had made people think of the time he got brutally beaten to death. 

“I’m not saying anything,” Dick mumbled. He gave one more squeeze before withdrawing. “Huge relief to see you in the-what do you have there?” He dove down into the bags of books before Jason could kick him away. He was already prying the bag open by the time he asked. Jason tried to pull it away but it was impossible to keep Dick’s grabby hands out of your business.

“He went to a library,” Nightwing announced to the comms, outraged. “We thought he was dead and he went to a library!”

Someone laughed loudly on the comms. The brat turned on his comms explicitly to scoff.

“Did you rob a library?” Dick’s voice went high. “There’s so much here!” He flipped things around. “There- these are the same book? Hood, why do you have so many copies of the same book?”

“They’re not the same,” Jason snapped. “Get your grubby hands off of them!” He took his things back and edged away, glowering at his dumb asshole brother. “If you came to gawk, you did it, so now fuck off. You can clearly see that I am fine.”

“Jason,” Batman rasped, like the goddamn creep he was. Jason spun to see that he’d come up from behind. He lurched closer. He looked like hell. His knuckles were bloody and his pulse was jumping in his throat.

“No names in masks,” Jason snapped. He put his hands up to keep Bruce at a distance. “That’s your own rule, old man!”

It was no use. He endured the bullshit while his dumbass Dad made sure he wasn’t dead again, but he drew the line at letting Bruce clutch him and probably sob under his sweaty cowl like a weirdo. 

“I should have stayed there,” Jason grumbled. He patted at Bruce’s back. “There, there, asshole. You’re fine.”

[teeforhee]

hi, i'm not talking about narcissistic personality disorder in my post, but about narcissism as a personality trait.

before I actually answer this, I'm not mad or angry or annoyed or frustrated. I'm kinda tired and kinda overcaffeinated and I'm not good at tone over text to begin with, and I'm trying to summarise a lot of information and I don't really know how to do summaries that don't sound at least a bit pissed off. so I'm genuinely sorry if this comes across as angry or aggressive, I don't mean it to. also, incase this sounds like a personal attack, know that it's not a personal failing to have internalised messages that Society™ bombards you with for your whole life. the bolding is for readability and emphasis.

the thing is. narcissism isn't a personality trait, which is why I left that tag. narcissism is a personality disorder, and using it as if it was a personality trait is contributing to the stigma and misunderstanding of npd.

You might already know, because posts about this have circulated a lot of Tumblr before, that using "psychotic" to mean "violent", "bipolar" to mean "moody" or "indecisive", "schizophrenic" to mean "chaotic" or "violent" makes life harder for the real people with those real disorders by conflating mental illness with, basically, shitty person disease.

personality disorders are the same. narcissistic personality disorder is the same. these words are words for real mental illnesses that real people have, and the colloquial use of them to mean [insert negative behaviour/personality trait here] actively contributes to stigma around those real disorders, and makes life harder people with those disorders.

I know "narcissistic" is thrown around as if it's just an adjective, but it isn't, and using it that way is contributing to the stigma around an incredibly stigmatised disorder. when you said Dennis pretends to be a narcissist to hide his deep self esteem issues (which btw you can have with NPD. the stereotype that people with NPD all have super super high self esteem and think they're the best person ever all the time is just that: a stereotype) what did you actually mean? what trait or collection of traits did you actually mean when you said he pretends to be a narcissist? "narcissism in the literary sense" doesn't mean anything. "narcissism as in the Greek myth of narcissus" doesn't mean anything. say egotistical if you mean egotistical, say self-centred if you mean self-centred, say selfish if you mean selfish, say whatever personality trait you actually mean because if you do not literally mean "person with narcissistic personality disorder" when you say "narcissist" you are misusing the word and making it harder for people with NPD to move through the world.

if you wanna read more about what NPD actually is and why the colloquial use of "narcissist" is like. really harmful to people with NPD, check out @npdsafe who does a lot of informative posting about NPD, answers asks about NPD, and has a lot of information about NPD in their pinned post (they have answered multiple asks specifically about self esteem with NPD and have discussed how having really low self esteem most of the time can actually be a part of having NPD for some people).

[dingdongitsbees]

Hi, i was thinking of Attack on castes and i really like the idea of janitor levi, wannabe Hitch and so, would you write a one history teacher Erwin x lawyer reader, where she is friend to Frieda who is a teacher in the school asked her to pick Historia up for her and that's when Erwin sees her for the first time and immediately fell for her.... Hope you can accept it

offer up your heart

↪ WC: 3.3k ↪ Ao3 Link ↪ Genre: fluff, light-hearted, soft

Attack on Castes for those who haven’t read it! (it’s the reason some characters may seem oc)

Just send an ask to be added to the Erwin taglist!

Attack on Titan Masterlist  | Main Masterlist

You were already late and by god did you not want to be there. You were glad to leave high school behind you when you graduated, promising yourself to never set foot in one ever again. Gossip, bullies, shitty teachers, stupid drama and a mind crushing amount of work. Sure, good things too, but nothing that couldn’t be found in the adult world.

In the adult world you got adventures. You got to fight to bring people the justice they deserved, their livelihood in your hands. They offered up their hearts begging you to save them. It gave you purpose. Whether or not they shed tears of grief or joy would be for you to decide. Nothing quite came close.

Or that’s how you would have felt if your current client wasn’t being such an annoying little shit. He had lied to your face with three wildly conflicting stories about what happened, and then when he got cross-examined by the prosecutor, he decided to go completely off script and implicate himself even further for something he didn’t even do.

The evidence against him were fables and rumours at best but he had begun to make it look plausible through his shifty character. You would get the “not guilty” verdict at the end of the trial, but you were going to have ripped out most of your hair by then.

When you were busy screaming in your hands during the intermission, your friend Frieda rang you and asked you to pick up her younger sister from school because their bastard of a father surely wasn’t going to. You nearly yelled at her then.

Frieda had done favour after favour for you in the past years with your insanely busy and gruelling schedule, so refusing the one time she asked for something in return would put you up with the likes of your client. You agreed, for some reason not asking what time, and then promptly forgot about it.

So there you were, heels clicking rapidly against the school’s hallway, the oranges hues of the sunset streaming through windows and the entrance. You really should have asked for Historia’s number, though you weren’t sure if the girl would bother to reply.

Historia was the epitome of “I think I will cause problems on purpose” simply because she’s bored. To be fair, you couldn’t really blame her, you had no such positive attitude towards school either, but with her being at the top of the pecking order she had the ability to make those problems quite substantial. Freida’s hair was probably going to go grey soon.

You thanked any god that would listen that she had cheerleading practice or you might have genuinely cried. The amount of stress that blonde girl was putting you through simply because she refused to take the bus home was nearly unparalleled.

You looked around the school, each corridor breaking off into another. The same basic lockers and same ceiling lights, same everything. You were fucking lost.

You jogged down some corridors hoping to find someone, turning your head frantically, letting you slam full force into something hard, tall and…blond?

 .

Erwin may love being a teacher but my lord did it get tedious sometimes. He loved the younger ones, brimming with hopes, dreams and potential. Though nearly all of them seemed to be misusing it, putting it on the backburner or simply didn’t care. Kids were good but they certainly could be better. Of course, there’d be the standout kids like Armin and Marco who took their schooling seriously and asked questions that allowed him to gush about things that weren’t just on the set curriculum. But what he would give so all of them were that engaged…

He just wanted them to offer their hearts to him, to trust him and put faith in the information he was giving forward. History is something, that he believed at least, was unparalleled in its importance. You learn from the mistakes done by the generations before you, using the knowledge to guide the current decisions needed to be made. On top of that it just let you understand the world around you; how it came to be and your place within it. History was unparalleled in its importance.

That’s why he was still at the school, marking very obviously last-minute written essays, so he could give them back with thorough annotations and advice that he was sure most of them wouldn’t even glance at.

He had popped off to the teacher’s lounge to get a cup of tea, and was making his way back, eyes glued to the swaying liquid as not to spill it, when a smaller figure came barrelling into him. He instinctually moved the tea away, not wanting the scalding water to hit this unfortunate stranger full in the face. Some of the brown liquid dripped to the floor, Levi would surely have his head for it later, but it was better than any burns.

When he was sure the tea was steady, he looked to the stranger on the ground.

He swore he saw a deity.

Erwin peered down at you in pure awe. Albeit being a bit dishevelled and frazzled, you were clearly a force to be reckoned with. Your pant suit was tailored to fit you perfectly, your heels matching your simple jewellery and watch, your hair which was now a little ruffled, was obviously put together with precision in the morning. You were immaculately put together.

And your face, your face. Everything was right where it needed to be in the exact size and proportion to everything else. It was like you had been perfectly carved for over a millennium by only the best sculptors available.

Your aura was something else. Even if he had found you in pyjamas, the power you would exude would be to the same effect. Something in the way your face shifted as thoughts flew across your mind, the way every bit of movement seemed controlled and purposeful. Erwin had read hundreds, maybe thousands of myths all around the world, and none of the gods in them had never been as ethereal as you.

You were the definition of a muse.

You on the other hand were trying to keep down your groans about your ankles as much as possible. Heels were a mistake enough to attempt to run in let alone fall in, god could this day get any…better? Oh no. He was hot.

You swallowed harshly as he looked down at you, tilting his head and eyes wide. You noticed the tea spilt in a little puddle behind him and felt a little guilty, but he seemed to pay it no mind, his piercing blue eyes only on you.

After a silent moment he offered his empty hand. You took it with a hasty thank you under your breath and gripped on. His hand was so warm, so steady, so comfortable to hold. The moment was over quicker than either of you wanted it to be.

You looked to the ground, smoothing down the ruffles in your clothes, some that existed and some that certainly didn’t, so you could reset yourself. You were not going to be flustered by the first man you saw outside of work though to be fair he would be a good reason to let that rule lay down. He was certainly a fine specimen.

You looked back up, coughing to clear your throat. His gaze was already glued to you, it hadn’t been torn off since the moment you bumped into him. His eyes didn’t even shift now you were staring into his. His mouth was slightly agape, his cheeks dusted pink, his eyebrows raised. You were getting nervous but wanted to know what was going on in that head of his.

“Uh, hi…” you started, leaning your head to the side, “Didn’t mean to bump into you there, sorry for spilling your tea.”

He blinked.

“You’re…” he trailed off, having caught himself before he said something stupid. He coughed into his fist, finally looking away, the student poster about splitting atoms on the classroom becoming suddenly riveting. “Sorry, could I help you in anyway?”

You scratched the back of your head with a small smile and Erwin short circuited. “Yeah actually, I’m meant to be picking up a friend’s sister, but I got lost.”

“What’s the student’s name? I may be able to direct you?”

“Historia Reiss.”

“Ah.”

“Ah indeed.”

It was no question that the girl would be infamous to teachers as well, the girl tended to make quite an impression. Hopefully she wouldn’t be rolling her eyes at you more than necessary when you finally found her.

“Miss Reiss is likely at the gym.” He pointed down a corridor, the one you had come from.

You opened your mouth and closed it again, you would probably get lost again but you couldn’t convince yourself that’s why you asked the next question. “Sorry, do you think you walk me there?”

A colourful array of curses flew through your mind as he stilled, a deer in the headlights. You were about to apologise for being a bother and go on your way when his face brightened to an almost blinding degree and his eyes crinkled with his accompanying smile.

“It would be my pleasure.”

The walk started in silence for a few moments as you both scrambled for something to talk about.

“So um,” you said, “What do you teach here? You are a teacher, right? Not just some random guy taking advantage of the tea?”

He was already panicking being in the vicinity of you, so he almost didn’t pick up your teasing tone. The fact you were making fun of him just made his heart hammer even harder.

“I can confirm I’m not some stranger, to this school at least.” His added smile made your heart skip a beat; you should sue him. “I teach history here, but I won’t burden you with the specifics.”

“Do.”

“Pardon?”

“Burden me with the specifics. The teaching path wasn’t for me, but I admire those who followed it,” you sent a smile of your own back, “Plus, you seem like the kind of guy to know your stuff. You look like a passionate teacher. I wish there were more of those when I went to school.”

He took a second to compose himself, you being very cruel to him right now. He’d known you for approximately two minutes, but you were making it increasingly difficult for him to not declare his inevitable love right then and there.

“Oh well um,” he stumbled over his words, trying to string a few sentences together that would be worthy of your time. His hands were already extended, ready to add a visual focus. “War is quite an obvious favourite to go to, but I’ve always been more interested in the things that went on behind the scenes, the life of soldiers and nurses who lost their lives, the lives of those who stayed behind, anyone trying to look for peaceful solutions. Those have always interested me more. And then going far past the world and civil wars of the past three centuries, going back to when England and France were nowhere near the superpowers they became, and of course focusing all around the world. Europe has honestly been pretty lacklustre with their stories compared to everywhere else.”

He looked back to you, half-expecting you to be twiddling your thumbs, but your sight hadn’t moved. Your eyes were wide and bright like the ones he had seen in Armin and Marco except with an added adult understanding and perspective. This was quite unfair on his heart.

He turned his head down a corridor, taking the opportunity to calm down his heated cheeks. Really quite unfair.

“So what do you do?” He tried his best to make the words come out as smooth as he hoped. You didn’t seem to take notice that they didn’t.

“I’m a lawyer, so definitely a different world from yours.” Your laugh was awe-inspiring, he wished it were his morning alarm. There was no way he could come to hate it.

“It suits you,” he noted. It made perfect sense, everything about you commanded attention, thinking about you controlling a court room was easy to picture.

You sputtered out a few sounds, not sure if they were sophisticated enough to be called words and looked down a corridor as you passed, trying to figure out what the angry looking janitor was thinking about instead of what your brain was. This man was having quite the effect on you, and it wasn’t even his looks! Rude!

“Thank you, assuming that’s a compliment.”

Erwin simply nodded, not wanting to let you be privy to his thought processes right then. He would never recover.

“What area do you work in if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Currently represent for murder and manslaughter cases, anything that usually ended up with a person dead or nearly dead.”

A different world from yours indeed.

“I imagine that’s quite intense.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “The paperwork numbs a lot of it, honestly most of my clients aren’t any different from students.”

“I’d hope not.”

“You’d be surprised. Some of those annoying kids in school tend to keep being annoying, annoying enough to land themselves as a suspect for a murder case.”

Now he couldn’t stop thinking about you intimidating a client into submission and to just listen to you and let you take the reins. He would like to see that. He may possibly want to be subjected to it if he was in the right mood. He towered over you, but he would fall to his knees in a second if you told him to as a joke. He hoped that was a wild exaggeration done by his brain, but he knew most things come from a semblance of truth.

You really were something else.

You couldn’t believe you were talking to someone like him. He seemed so self-assured and at one with the flow of life, not needing to seek more to find contentment. He clearly loved his job as much as you loved yours, both acknowledging the downsides but knew it was worth it in the end.

He seemed to be taking up more and more of your brain as he continued to talk, only adding to the list of positives, there hadn’t seemed to be any negatives yet. You were concerned that there didn’t seem to be any. From his looks to his personality to the way he held himself, it was honesty too good to be true. Right?

When he looked at you, your cheeks would burn, and you’d feel like you were in high school all over again. That was one of the things you had forgotten, although small, they had been of the good parts about school. Crushes had always been a little fun.

But the way his lips pulled into an easy smile should be illegal. You could deal with murderers, not this. If he was ever on the stand in court, you would be a stuttering mess when trying to cross-examine him.

As you two kept talking, you’d take turns left and right, seemingly with no real reason. You were pretty sure you had seen those maths posters before, but you didn’t mention it. You were plenty happy to let this be dragged out a little longer. You were flattered to say the least.

Erwin knew that he couldn’t “trick” you without you noticing eventually, he couldn’t do that to save his life, but he also knew that if you had caught on to his little game, you would mention it if you wanted him to stop. That fact made his chest flutter, though perhaps it probably was time to take you where you needed to go so you didn’t have your friend yelling at you. He wasn’t that cruel.

The sound of cheers reached your eyes, your shoulders deflated. Guess this is it then. The gym doors came into sight and you could spot the cheerleaders practicing their formations through the open door. They all looked exhausted, so it was probably near the end by now.

Against the wall you could see Historia’s “friends” watching and applauding whenever Historia so as much breathed. No wonder she got bored.

Your feet came to a stop, just outside the entrance and you looked up to him. He shifted slightly, unsure of what to say.

“Thank you um…” you said before your eyes few open, “Holy- I can’t believe I didn’t get your name?”

He chuckled, deep and clear. “Erwin, Erwin Smith.”

You gave your name to his and his lips mouthed around it silently, feeling the shape of all the letters. It made you a little flustered how earnestly he was printing it into his brain.

Neither of you moved, you didn’t want to go into the gym, and he didn’t want to leave. To put it simply, you were smitten with each other and it was embarrassingly obvious to everyone including the both of you.

The cheerleaders stopped, grabbing their bags and chugging down litre water bottles. Historia would snitch on you in an instant if she saw you hitting on her teacher, so it was time to depart.

“I guess this is it then…” You dragged out the sentence, still trying to stall.

“I suppose it is.”

“Thank you, I do mean it. I guess I’ll see you when I see you.”

He nodded, swallowing. “I guess I will. Have a pleasant evening, both you and Miss Reiss.”

You cracked a grin. “I can’t promise she will have one, but I know you definitely made my evening a good one. See you, Erwin.”

He smiled softly. “See you.”

He waved as he walked back through the corridors, he snuck a look over his shoulder when he had almost disappeared from view to find you still looking at him. Both of your faces burst into flames and you looked away from each other.

You took Historia home after she (mainly her friends) questioned why you were there instead of Frieda. Reiner, you believed his name was, offering to take her home as suavely as he could to be shot down so quickly by Historia you got whiplash. Her friends bid her dramatic goodbyes which she didn’t reply to, and you two made your way to the car.

“Were you talking to Mr Smith?” She didn’t even bother taking her eyes off of her phone to ask.

“I…I was. I got lots trying to find you so he helped me get to the gym.”

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “He didn’t need to take you all the way there though.”

“He was…he was just being nice.”

She hummed, no emotion behind to hide whether or not it was full of doubt. You really didn’t want her to tell Frieda or you’d never live it down.

“I finally get your ass out of the court room and you flirt with the first guy you see? Bold as ever.”

Though maybe, just maybe, it meant you could offer to pick up Historia more often. Maybe.

Everyone knew it wasn’t a maybe.

Erwin made his way back to his desk and he plopped himself down on his chair with a sigh. He leant his head back to look at the ceiling, projecting the past minutes on the white ceiling.

He didn’t even ask for your number.

He cursed at himself and dragged a hand over his face before getting back to his mountain of paperwork. Perhaps it was too bold to offer up his heart this quickly.

But you had said “see you”, and maybe it was too much for him to assume, but usually that meant a second meeting was anticipated. Maybe.

Everyone knew it wasn’t a maybe.

His tea had gone cold, but that was alright. He had met a goddess that evening after all.  

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a/n: to the person who sent this in sorry it took so long! this was my first time writing for Erwin so i hope it’s alright! thank you for reading :)

Just send an ask to be added to the Erwin taglist!

Attack on Titan Masterlist  | Main Masterlist

Ko-fi

[nebulous-tundra]

okay okay just one more thing i swear. i like rarely think about Mark but i was thinking about your point about the abuse victim being canonically wrong and that not being a good look and it reminded me. Mark also canonically uses the term "gaslighting" wrong? like gaslighting is a very specific abuse tactic meant to purposefully make someone question their own perception of reality and events, and it is not, for example, lying to someone, just not telling them something, or ALSO in this case someone literally not having the information you are seeking (nobody told Damien about Sam in fact Joan made a point onscreen of telling her that she made sure he didn't know about her. like that part wasn't even lying he just straight up did not know who she was?), and like this kind of thing i think contributes to how often the term is misused to basically just be a synonym for lying to someone and that's NOT all it is and that's really not a good look either. plus it's shitty enough Damien WAS lying to him in this situation you literally don't need to call it something it isn't like lying and emotional abuse is still shitty even if it isn't gaslighting. anyway my mother liked to gaslight me frequently growing up and i ended up with dissociative symptoms because of it and this kind of thing frustrates me, lol

people say gaslighting a ton nowadays when they just mean someone lied to them. I could buy Mark not knowing the difference, but in a podcast where psychology is one of the main focuses you'd figure they'd draw the distinction between 'lying' and 'Damien deliberately lying to Mark in a machiavellian attempt to make him question his reality over a period of time'. And also the difference between Damien just not knowing and answering to the best of his ability lol

even when Damien was lying about Joan and trying to get Mark to believe she didn't care about him, and was a different person than one Dr. Bright, that's still not gaslighting, it's lying for certain, but nowhere near the level of intent gaslighting takes

reminds me of when Mark accused Damien of using Rose lol, only this time I can't tell if Shippen knew what she doing

[chemorygunko]

When you manifest consciously (Law of Attraction), it DESTROYS YOUR FUTURE ABILITY to manifest and perform miracles.

When you manifest consciously (Law of Attraction), it DESTROYS YOUR FUTURE ABILITY to manifest and perform miracles.

MUST READ PIECE - EGO, MANIFESTATION, WHAT THE SHIFT IS

The Missing Piece of the Ego Puzzle

Ego, Manifestation, Law of Attraction, and getting what you desire in terms of results - also covering The Secret and Law of Attraction conflicts and lies

***Also this explains a big part of how THE SHIFT works and what it is***

Hahahaha…. these few lines above are the sales points for why you HAVE TO read this! Read this - it’s a big piece of the puzzle. I never say stuff like that ;) This one is really important.

So we’ve been on this discussion for a while, trying to find the answers.

And this is a big piece of the puzzle - so read to the end. I’ve kept it concise as possible - we’ll unpack detail in comments and future posts.

Most of us have identified the link between manifestation and serving God - that manifestation is a misuse of the power we’ve been given and it makes us uncomfortable to do.

This is why spiritual people battle with money - we don’t like manifesting money, it makes us uncomfortable and it feels like a waste of our time and energy.

It also feels wrong to use God as your servant, which comes down to the statement:

Free will means that God serves you by default, because he must honor your free will above all else, or you serve God in every second by handing over all your free will to him.

So, you serve God or God serves you.

But there’s a second part to this that I didn’t see as a pattern until now….

And then yesterday I saw this in A Course in Miracles (ACIM) Urtext:

"Miracles are habits and should be involuntary. They should not be under conscious control. Consciously selected miracles are usually misguided and this will make the talent useless."

Before editing, in the original notes, the sentence ORIGINALLY read:

"Miracles are habits and should be involuntary. They should not be under conscious control, OTHERWISE THEY MAY BECOME UNDEMOCRATIC. Consciously selected miracles are usually DANGEROUS and this will DESTROY the talent.”

So in a nutshell, the answer to all this is…

God is using ego to let people hang themselves and destroy themselves.

When God made the covenant (rainbow - this is why we use this symbol) with Noah after the flood, he made the promise not to destroy mankind with WATER again.

Instead however, if he does destroy the Earth again - it will be with fire.

Ego is fire.

Prometheus was punished for giving fire to man - in other words Prometheus gave man free will and ego.

Prometheus was responsible for distributing the gifts to the animals, and gave man the ability to walk upright, but he liked man, so wanted to give him more. So he stole fire (free will and ego) from the Gods and gave to to mankind.

As part of his punishment, Prometheus was ordered to marry Pandora - in fact Zeus created Pandora and the box as punishment. So all the horrors we know were released into the world, and hope was left hidden in the box.

You could think of the Lightworker mission as the final HOPE being released from the box by the Gods - we are the hope.

(Side note: for those of you who are shocked I’m using Greek mythology; note I work across ALL THE RELIGIONS - I just enjoy the Judaic religions more. My purpose is to see where all of them are just repeats of the same story playing out - to see where they’re all connected and are just one long flow of information, interpreted and recorded by the people of the time. I honor the Greek Gods as much as I do any others. Oh I can see the shocked faces now lol. We call this…. SPANNER TIME! Hahaha!)

So anyway lol…. in practical terms, what happened was that about 15/20 years ago, God allowed the Law of Attraction and manifestation info (which is pure Kabbalah by the way), to be released into mainstream, with the spate of ego riddled, money-driven, greedy, 3D spiritual teaches we’ve been subjected to. (There - I said it out loud lol.)

We got books like The Secret and teachers like Esther and Jerry Hicks, with Abraham.

And while the info was good and honest, and really does work, it was also money and greed focused, 3D focused, and left the world with a few really shitty belief systems:

Your personal happiness matters more than anything. God wants you to do nothing but be happy. You can order God around like a servant, because God WANTS to serve you. The only effort you have to put in is to focus your mind. Anyone can do this. If you can’t do this it’s because you’re useless - this is natural and easy to do.

And it is a natural and easy to do process - because miracles are our default habit and way of being. Miracles are a natural and involuntary habit, especially when you are utilizing them properly.

"Miracles are habits and should be involuntary. They should not be under conscious control, OTHERWISE THEY MAY BECOME UNDEMOCRATIC. Consciously selected miracles are usually DANGEROUS and this will DESTROY the talent."

When you’re manifesting and using Law of Attraction, you are CONSCIOUSLY CONTROLLING the miracle. You’re saying: the miracle must appear by this time, in this place, in this form.

And when you do this, it does become undemocratic - because it doesn’t aim to serve everyone in the situation, ONLY what your EGO desires - which usually doesn’t stop to consider the people around you.

So this is how we’re creating so much bad luck: these energies follow the easiest available path; so if your dad always gave you money, Dad will appear with money, for example.

But if the easiest route is to cause a car crash so that you get an insurance payout, then the energy will follow that path…. because you did not put in place the checks and balances that were needed in order to ensure that others around you would be protected and kept safe.

So you forgot to protect your partner, family, kids, parents, lover…. and then they had a car accident. And even though you got the money you demanded - you’re sitting there crying about how unfair God is.

No God is very fair, and usually when God directs miracles, he does so by making sure everybody is protected and their BEST interests are served - not their ego desires. In other words, DEMOCRATIC miracles.

How do I know this for sure? The years I spent studying Wicca (Witchcraft). The old religions, like Wicca, all have some sort of line you say to ensure it’s kept DEMOCRATIC. In Wicca, that is: FOR THE GOOD OF ALL, AND TO THE HARM OF NONE.

Godwilling. If it’s God’s will. Today I make no decisions for myself, I ask only for the day God would have me have. If you would have me do it, I will do it. If you will not have me do it, I will not do it. Help me to perform whatever miracles you would have of me today.

This is why it matters that God is in charge of directing what happens - why you have to surrender your free will in every single moment: we can’t see this big picture - we don’t have enough information to make sure that our choices when directing miracles (manifesting with the Law of Attraction) are kept DEMOCRATIC.

We can glimpse a pattern like this and understand why it’s important that we submit ourselves to that will and let God take the wheel, but we can’t see the picture that God is seeing, how this affects each and every individual soul. We WILL NEVER have the capacity for that.

So the single best thing we can do right now, to make the biggest energetic change to the shift is changing the views of manifestation out there in public.

First, stop manifesting ANYTHING. Instead, pray and trust. “Give us this day our daily bread…” Simply praying the Lord’s Prayer will cover your MANIFESTATION NEEDS (sic).

Secondly, speak out openly against manifestation. Start spreading the word.

Thirdly, hand over to God and let God take control.

SURRENDER PRAYER

Holy Spirit/God/Source/Universe/Buddha/Insert preference here …

I don’t know how to do this, and for as long as I am in human form, I have limitations that will always prevent me from knowing fully how to do this. But I trust you, and I know that you will help me.

Holy Spirit/God/Source/Universe/Buddha/Insert preference here …

I give you this ego identification of the thought of ego, of needing to manifest. I don’t know how to choose correctly for this, and so I ask you to choose for me.

MORNING PRAYER

Holy Spirit/God/Source/Universe/Buddha/Insert preference here …

Today I make no decisions for myself. I ask only for the day that God would have me have. If you will have me do it, I will do it. If you will not have me do it, I will not do it. I give this day to God.

HOW IT WORKS IN A NUTSHELL

So basically, God released fire (ego knowledge through manifestation and Law of Attraction) into the world to see if the world would save itself or destroy itself.

He sent fire, but we’re choosing if we live or die in other words.

Books like The Secret, manifestation and Law of Attraction teachings (fire) have greatly accelerated spiritual growth (the ego journey is the spiritual journey), but they are creating the circumstances of our world - the ugliness in the world -  because the application of this power is undemocratic (used for individual ego needs in other words).

This is leading to terrible tragedies and disasters and ugliness.

The way out of it is to stop creating miracles consciously and give all the miracle power back to God - and then get out there and tell people what is happening to them and why their lives are falling apart.

And there’s one more point here that we didn’t really cover above…. "Consciously selected miracles are usually DANGEROUS and this will DESTROY the talent.”

Or make the talent useless…. recognize that?

There’s a NATURAL LAW (i.e. it cannot be changed) in the MORPHIC FIELD of Earth that SWITCHES OFF (destroys/makes useless) the ability to perform miracles when they are consciously directed.

This is why you suddenly can’t manifest anymore - and it’s what’s happening to people around the world. This is why everything is suddenly falling apart.

And this is the mechanism on the ego journey that forces you to face God, and choose for God eventually. It’s the failsafe.

Stop manifesting, and tell everyone around you to do the same. Give the controls back to God.

And when God sends a message - act immediately.

Giving control to God does NOT mean make God do all the work - it means become a willing servant that acts when you’re told to.

He will tell you what he needs you to do and when. Just like he sent this and every other post to me.

God can do this - all you need to do is live your faith to make it happen.

This is the fastest way.

Oh and by the way, this is on the VERY FIRST page of ACIM Urtext, the text portion. Talk about being in front of our faces the whole time!

Enormous thanks goes to my daughter for spotting this one.

I love you fellow light being xo

[catcomixzstudios]

How To Life Chapter 49

How To Avoid Being An Asshole

- NEVER create a religion out of these guiding beliefs, and ESPECIALLY NEVER create a religion out of these guiding beliefs where you spread the message by killing, harming, and/or prosecuting others who do not share your beliefs. Religions, in theory, generally seek to do good in the world. I respect that. However, almost all religions (or even just groups of people) will usually develop at least a sub-sect of individuals who spread messages of goodwill towards others by violently attacking them. It’s vain of me to assume someone would try to make a religion out of these ideals, but just in case, I’d like to clearly state that I do NOT want that to happen. That person is doing something I don’t approve of. If these guiding beliefs help you, that’s awesome, but I don’t want it to be any more than that. If you ever have to cause harm to someone else to try and spread a message, that to me says that either your message is shit, or at least you yourself are a piece of shit.

- Don’t kill, harm, or threaten people, animals, etc if you don’t have to. This is a very tough thing to fully elaborate on. I firmly believe that most situations can be resolved without the use of violence. But if someone is trying to stab you, I don’t think it’s bad to try and defend yourself. To me, violence is always and absolutely the last option and NEVER something you should start. If others have hurt you, acting on their level isn’t how you beat them. Be better than them. Actions taken on a violent impulse tend to have drastic consequences. Obviously I can’t speak to every single possible scenario, but you should seek to avoid causing others physical or mental harm whenever possible. A vast majority of people will likely not be trying to kill or hurt you. As a matter of respect, you should do the same for others.

- Don’t be a dick to people. You don’t have to be friends with everyone you meet to offer even the most basic levels of respect. If someone helps or just offers to help, be thankful. If someone disagrees with you, you don’t have to be an asshole about it. If someone’s a dick to you, dwelling on it is only going to get you to act that way as well. Not every day is a good day, of course, but trying to make other people’s lives worse because of your issues isn’t helping anyone. You have to take a stand at times, of course, but try to pick your battles wisely. Some dicks are going to be dicks no matter what you do, and just aren’t worth the time or brain-space. We have to live together, so the least we can do is go about our business without pissing each other off when we can.

- Don’t rape or molest others. No one owes you sex, no matter who they are or what you’ve done for them. You don’t owe anyone else sex, no matter who they are or what they’ve done for you. Your body is your own, and everyone else’s bodies are their own. Forcing or trying to coerce someone into sex they aren’t interested in is one of the most shitty things you can do to another person. Listen to people. If you pay even the slightest bit of attention, they will give you cues on how comfortable they are. If you choose to ignore these and force someone into that situation anyway, then I absolutely hope the most horrible things possible happen to you.

- Never own another human being. Slavery is great if you’re a slave owner. Lots of free labor done by people you get to mistreat with no repercussions. If the tables were turned however, I don’t think you’d be so happy to get up in the morning. I hope it becomes REALLY obvious that forcing or coercing people into shitty situations is a shitty thing to do. No sentient species should be subservient to their own people. No one should live a life feeling like they can never escape.

- Don’t use drugs or other things that can have a negative impact on yourself and others. With things like alcohol, use it responsibly. The medical field has made great strides with drugs that can help treat diseases and increase our chances of survival. Crystal meth is not one of those drugs. Hardcore drugs like that will fuck your body up something fierce, and the “benefits” are not worth it. Unless you enjoy staying up for several days straight and feeling like invisible spiders are crawling all over you. On the other hand, there are things like marijuana and alcohol. While I don’t use them myself, if used responsibly, I don’t think there are any problems with things like that. Those can be just as (if not more) problematic than the hardcore drugs if handled poorly, however.  

- Don’t steal from others. Would you be happy if your most prized possession was stolen from you? I’d wager not. Respect people’s property. If people have bought or made something, taking it from them is a dick move. There certainly will be cases where a person might have to steal to survive, but there’s a big difference between that and taking your neighbor’s sweet new laptop because you hate your current one.

- Don’t break or damage people’s stuff. Pretty much the same idea as stealing, while also remembering that destroying something of someone else’s is an asshole thing to do as well. If someone stealing your stuff makes you unhappy, just imagine how you’ll feel if it turns out they broke it instead?

- Don’t lie whenever possible. Spreading lies, mistruths, or withholding important information can and often will make situations worse. Technically, telling the truth in some cases may do that as well, but I’d personally rather learn to accept truths then become more comfortable with lies. Like with most things, there are levels of lying; saying you’re having a good day rather than a mediocre one isn’t on the same level as blaming someone else for a theft you committed. It’s absolutely good to tell the truth in most cases, but I will begrudgingly admit that sometimes you might have to lie to keep the peace. Just understand that lies built on lies may eventually be revealed as being just that, and the fallout for it will be much worse.

- Avoid holding grudges. Do the best you can to hang onto the positivity in life. I firmly believe that most people are generally good, though it might not always show. We can be distrusting and rude to one another, but at least part of that comes from a fear of the unknown. There might be some individuals that you come to know that hurt you, but I promise there will be others who want to help you. Focus on those that want to help you and who make your life better. I’m not asking you to completely forgive those that have wronged you; you owe them nothing. But once you can get them out of your life, don’t let your anger towards them continue to pull you back in. Doing so only serves to hurt your more.

- Try not to get too worked up over little things. In the day to day, lots of small annoyances will come and go. If you choose to hold onto them and let them keep breaking you down, it will make things worse. Acknowledge them, of course. Don’t pretend that bad things have never happened. Yet find time to consider how important some of these things might be. Consider what situations are things you won’t ever have to worry about a few years down the line, let alone even for tomorrow.

- Don’t fear those that are different from yourself. Things that you don’t know or fully understand can be intimidating. Some people react by dismissing these things. Some react by showing overt aggression. Most of the time, however, those that are different from yourself simply live their lives in a different way (usually one that doesn’t negatively impact you). There will certainly be individuals that seek to harm you for aspects of your being that you may or may not have control over, but spreading more of that behavior around never serves to make things better; it just validates fear. Try to look with fresh eyes to people that live differently but mean no harm. To me, it’s the differences between individuals that make life interesting and help us grow.

- (Generally) avoid absolutes. Very few matters in life are purely black and white matters of good and evil. It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that one certain thing is always good or bad, but keep in mind that all groups are made up of individuals. Many things we get angry about are merely tools, and while some might absolutely be misused, it is the singular cases we should focus on. This isn’t always possible or practical, of course, but deciding that any thing or person is ultimately one way or another without much evidence can be dangerous. Carefully put pieces of evidence together and draw your own conclusions.

- Try to avoid frustration from perceived ignorance. Or to put it another way, remember that not everyone has the knowledge and/or the experience that you do. We’ve all lived different lives and had different experiences. Some of us have obtained much more knowledge of a particular topic over time, and keeping in mind that most others haven’t had the same opportunity will help you avoid some minor frustrations. Remembering that for yourself when learning from others will also help.

- Never get a tattoo of a romantic partner’s name. Look I know you might really love the person you’re with right now. But I swear, like the day after you get that tattoo of that person’s name, you’ll totally have some big fight or something and possibly even break up right there. Then you’re gonna be stuck with a tattoo of your exe’s name and you’ll have to go through a whole big process to either cover it up or get rid of it. Tattoos can be pretty awesome, mind you, but just be absolutely sure it’s something you won’t regret to have on your body like 50 years from now.

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[mentalisttraceur]

Trust Thought

I think one of the main reasons I see so many people struggle with trust, is that no one’s ever shown them what healthy, evidence-based, earned trust looks like.

I think the archetype of trust I’ve seen espoused in American culture is a horrible template, because it’s fiat-based. Just started dating someone? Automatically expected to “trust” them. Roommates with someone? Automatically expected to “trust” them. That’s awful. If the prevailing narrative is to be believed, you’re just supposed to pretend you’re unaware that anyone you’ve met could be lying or manipulating. You’re supposed to train yourself to ignore that possibility, instead of establishing mutual openness and transparency upon which trust can actually be built. It’s like we’re “optimizing” for the critical failure case, teaching people it’s virtuous to widen the gap in which we don’t actually validate that the people we let closest are doing what we expect them to do.

Definition tangent: Now, to be clear, there is a difference between “benefit of the doubt” and “trust”. For the purpose of this ramble, “benefit of the doubt” means that you tentatively act as if what the person is being truthful by default, up to some reasonable threshold of risk, while remaining aware that they haven’t actually proven themselves yet. Complete “trust”, to me, is when you actually get to the point where you can accept that person’s representations about the world as a source of truth roughly approximating your own senses and memory and reason in accuracy. There’s obviously a contiguous fuzzy gradient in-between.

That said, I think part of the problem is that people feel like they’re entitled to not proving their trustworthiness. I frankly think that’s asinine. Give people benefit of the doubt, sure. But trust? Let me put it this way: Until you’ve known me well enough that you’re confident beyond a reasonable doubt that there’s no way that I’m kidnapping and raping people as a past-time, I expect you to remain vigilant for signs of me being engaged in such activities. Until you’ve known me well enough that you trust me with your life, I expect you to seriously consider the possibility that I might be out to kill you, or could be bought off by the people who do. Until you trust me with your bank accounts, I expect you to keep an eye out for me possibly trying to rob you. And so on. I don’t think you’d be a bad person for being weary of any of those things. In fact, I’d consider myself a bad person if I had a problem with you seriously considering those possibilities until you knew me well enough that they naturally faded from your mind.

The reverse side of that problem, is that people just aren’t taught to think with a healthy degree of critical/”what if” double-checking. “Okay, he says he did ‘x’, but what if he had actually done ‘y’ and is now lying?” Did any of us get raised to seriously listen to and evaluate any unexpected noises when we’re visiting a new acquaintance’s house? Did any of us get raised to actively seek out sources of yells that sounded like they may have been unclear calls for help in the distance? If a roommate brings someone over to spend the night, how many of us seriously consider that we might need to parse the sounds from the bedroom for signs of distress, as opposed to pleasure? I know I sure as hell didn’t, I just “lucked out” with the inclination to thoroughly consider the  spectrum of possibilities before me, and tendency to focus on the ones that cause the most human suffering, so I do the above as a matter of course now. But I don’t actually know of anyone else who does.

We’re taught that trust is an ideal end state but not how to get there, so most people seem to think it’s achieved by stifling suspicions/concerns. But no, the end state of trust is approached by accumulating enough evidence that you can genuinely comfortably feel that the suspicion/concern is so unlikely so as to not be worth thinking about. And, I assert that, barring obscenely evidence-defying cognitive gymnastics, suspicions and concerns ought to be taken seriously, given benefit of the doubt, and resolved with proactive openness and transparency, not internalized dismissal.

I also suspect that part of this strongly ties with the very problematic ideas of “faith” that permeate much of Western culture. We’re supposed to treat faith as a personal merit, instead of a blatant epistemological error. Even though it just boils down to convincing yourself that you know something is true when you actually don’t have enough evidence/information to feel that certain. Faith is the padding we’re taught to place between the evidence we have and the conclusions we’re suppose to hold (whether religious or otherwise).

This is all compounded by the fact that depending on how you look at it, there is a very thin line between mutual, equitable, consenting radical openness/honestly/transparency, and abusive, controlling, one-sided imposed openness/transparency. Many people have had really shitty experiences with relationship partners who were controlling and abusive, who insisted that they have access to your communications, location, etc. (Sidenote: those controlling abusers are assholes of a high severity, and you should never put up with their shit, and I’m sorry if you’ve had to.) Since so many people go through an experience with a controlling/shitty/abusive relationship partner who demands such access and uses it as leverage to get what they want, many people are rightly weary of anything that looks similar in future relationships. But I think in life there are many things which are necessary for approximating ethically ideal outcomes, but which can be severely misused. Radical openness and transparency is one of those things. I think it’s possible to have healthy, mutually agreed upon radical openness/transparency/access in a relationship, gradually ramped up as trust starts to build - and it’s invaluable for rapidly building evidence-based trust. Literally by definition, nothing can build trust like being radically open and transparent enough with each other that dishonesty has nowhere to hide.

As an example I’ve mentioned before, in my going-onto-nine-years relationship, this is exactly what we have (although we basically never utilize that access any more, because we basically no longer have any realistic concerns/fears/etc about each other’s minds). Once it seemed likely that we were compatible for a long-term/life-long relationship, the expectation was that we would have full access to each others’ accounts if we need to, and the was and remains a general attitude that we’re even fine with each other making use of that access even just out of idle curiosity rather than only in emergencies. But it’s important to note: this access is given in an equitable (rather than one-sided) way, and, after years of trust were built, it’s become entirely acceptable for one of us to say to the other “don’t view this account until further notice” or whatever, and it is precisely because of so many years of being radically open to each other that no suspicion or paranoia can really creep in under even the most extreme of circumstances anymore.

As a thought experiment, I encourage people to contemplate if your methodology for building trust in relationships can survive an intelligent, skilled, and fundamentally selfish to the core manipulator as a relationship partner. While I won’t pretend what we do in my relationships is bulletproof, I do think that we create an environment in which anything short of proactive honesty between each other simply cannot remain hidden. But it’s definitely better than the cultural default model of “trust on faith” or whatever.

Of course, you don’t have to adopt the radical transparency/access extreme like I do with my partner(s). But I think most people could benefit from thinking about trust, especially in personal relationships deeply entwined into our lives, more as something which grows with evidence that the person presents a truthful account of things, especially when it’s hard or inconvenient for them. Hopefully that makes the concept of being able to find someone that you might be able to trust one day seems more feasible when building trust is reconsidered from this perspective.

[theearthsheep-blog]

and i’m feeling in a particularly venty mood right now so fuck all y’all we’re getting politlcal

and no fuck you i’m not putting this under a read more. if you follow me i want you to read this.

a) first of all yeah i don’t really get political on this here website very often and that’s not because i don’t have political opinions or because i’m worried that they’ll be unpopular, i expect most of my followers and i agree on pretty much everything. the reason i don’t post politics is mostly because they make me anxious and i’m on this website in my spare time when i don’t want to deal with it. with that in my mind, fuck the mentality of “everyone who doesn’t reblog this is a fascist”. first of all it’s very “with us or against us” and i understand where you’re coming from but there are plenty of valid reasons to not want to reblog that kind of stuff. i’m going to call out a specific post here just because it’s the one i remember and i want to give an example, but there wasn’t anything particularly egregious about it. it was a post supporting jews, i forget the exact wording but it was something simple like “this blog supports jews” and someone added on to it with something in the vein of “i’m watching those of my mutuals who aren’t reblogging this very carefully” and like... that made me feel really shitty because that’s not the kind of thing i like to post but here was this post telling me in no uncertain terms that i’m an affront to the jewish community if i don’t constantly tell everyone i’m not.

and i know there are plenty of people out there who would read this and their first thought is “oh sheep is just closet anti-semitic”. like, seriously, reconsider your worldview if that’s how you’re thinking right now. you can’t be this black-and-white.

and, like, look, i get it. i’m trans. i know what it’s like to know that a big portion of the world is literally out to get you, literally hates your actual existence. i know what it’s like to watch those around you like a hawk for any warning signs of being the kind of person it’s very unsafe to honestly introduce yourself to. i get it! but i can’t just assume that anyone who i follow who doesn’t post support for trans people on like, a monthly basis? is transphobic. and honestly i couldn’t really even assume that anyone who DOES post support ISN’T. it helps certainly but at the end of the day that’s just words. this may surprise you but people can just say words and it doesn’t necessarily mean anything. like you know how you were in elementary school and they made you say the pledge of allegiance? and after like two times it stopped meaning anything to you, and you were too young to understand it when you learned it anyway? don’t make everyone say the pledge of allegiance on their tumblr every morning, regardless of what allegiance it is you want them to pledge.

and to set the record straight, of course i support jews. anti-semiticism is disgusting. at the same time, (and this is getting into the shitty “who has it the worst” arguments that i hate) i think jews probably aren’t priority 1 right now. i’ve seen some buzz about a sudden upsurge in anti-semitic actions over the past few months (since trump got elected) and no statistics i’ve seen have actually supported that. it looks like it’s been a steady growth for several years now and like that’s worrying enough on its own but trump has already taken direct action against both muslims and latins and i feel like those are the people who need the most support right now. and honestly? i genuinely believe that trump isn’t anti-semitic, though particular members of his administration certainly are.

anyway.

that isn’t even what i wanted to talk about.

b) and this is what i’m here for, really. come on guys, you really need to fact check some of this shit. i’m not playing around here, if you think “spreading the word” or “keeping people informed” has any value at all then you NEED to curate the content on your blog. i’ve seen tons of posts that i’m sure mean well but are exaggerated or downright wrong. this plays directly into trump’s hands. especially right now, his message is that the “media elite” are conspiring against him and making shit up. this does not seem to be true in any meaningful sense, but every time some news organization uses some hyperbole to grab clicks and then every other outlet takes even the original CLICKBAIT out of context, misinformation flies quick. and it lends credence to trump’s “fake news” message.

right now, the story is the 100,000 national guard trump is secretly plotting to deploy to support ICE in removing illegal immigrants from border states (and a few that are adjacent). so where did this story come from?

the associated press claims that they have a leaked white house document that describes an executive order trump may give which will allow the deployment of the national guard of same states to support efforts to deport immigrants. this is worrying enough! this is bad!

however, the AP doesn’t just announce that. that doesn’t fit easily into a tweet and it doesn’t bait clicks. instead they say, and this is the exact quote: “BREAKING: Trump administration considers mobilizing as many as 100,000 National Guard troops to round up unauthorized immigrants.”

the 100,000 number is nowhere, even in the document the AP says they have. - oh and just as a sidenote i’m going to keep saying the AP “says” they have a document. for what it’s worth i do believe that they genuinely got it from a white house employee, but i’m just trying to be clear here that it’s just them saying that, there’s no evidence for it either way. for what it’s worth, the white house denies the validity of the leak.

anyway. the 100,000 number actually seems to be in the neighborhood of the sum number of national guard in the states in question. in fairness to the AP, they did say “up to”, so i guess they’re covered (in that 0 is “up to” 100,000), BUT a significant fraction of the national guard are already deployed on various tasks, so it’s literally incorrect to say that anyone is considering deploying the full 100,000. plus, trump couldn’t mobilize these people even if he wanted to. the national guard for each state answer to the governor of that state. each of the fourteen governors have the final say on whether, and how many, of the national guard would be called into service.

okay, so, we have the Associated Press telling an exaggerated BUT still basically true tale. but because it was exaggerated, the exaggeration is what people will remember. in this case, it’s the number 100,000. i’ve said it enough times in this post, even if you only read this, it’s probably the first thing you’d remember about the story.

so what happens if or when this executive order actually gets signed? in a few weeks the news story comes out and says “5,000 national guard deployed to support ICE across fourteen states” and, “wow, look, that’s WAY less than those alarmist liberals told me there would be! see? everything’s fine!” so trump gets to say “the news media spun everything way out of proportion; the liberals worked themselves into a froth; and the world didn’t end”. and at the same time he literally used the military to fulfill a civic goal, which is about as big of a warning sign for fascism as i can imagine.

it is entirely possible that the white house is intentionally leaking documents that they know the news will whip into a frenzy over, just so that when the truth is less bad, people will think that it’s okay. this is trump’s path to victory, and if so it’s working alarmingly well. this is why you need to be careful. your voice matters and is valuable, don’t misuse it.

3) one last thing, john mccain just spoke at the Munich Security Conference, and his speech was decidedly anti-trump. mccain has been a critic of trump pretty much as long as trump has been a politician, and now he’s making some very, very valuable points. he may be trying to garner support in the republican party for a sort of “anti tea party” movement back to moderation, probably partly as an attempt to save the party from getting swept in the next few election cycles, and partly because john mccain isn’t absolutely fucking insane.

this is the kind of thing to watch out for, and support. even if john mccain isn’t a perfect person and he’s not my first pick for the oval office, he’s better than trump. i know that’s a low bar, but that’s what we’re reduced to. if such a movement among republicans were to occur i would happily volunteer for their campaigns if i thought they had a better chance than a more leftist candidate, and someone needed to keep actual fascists out of congress.

anyway that’s all largely speculative and not really what i wanted to talk about. 

here’s a selection from his speech, sourced from the Washington Post:

[The founders of the Munich Conference] would be alarmed by the hardening resentment we see towards immigrants and refugees and minority groups -- especially Muslims. [...] They would be alarmed that more and more of our fellow citizens seem to be flirting with authoritarianism and romanticizing it as our moral equivalent. [...] I refuse to accept that our values are morally equivalent to those of our adversaries. I am a proud, unapologetic believer in the West, and I believe we must always, always stand up for it. For if we do not, who will?

now i know that it’s popular around here to hate on america. yes, we’ve been involved in some shit in the middle east and elsewhere. yes, there are tons of stains on our history of civil rights. yes, our treatment of american indians has historically been abhorrent and isn’t getting much better.

We are not as bad as Russia. We are not as bad as China. We are not as bad as North Korea. We are not as bad as ISIS.

the United States, and the rest of NATO, have the unique power to act almost unilaterally to promote western values around the world. and when i say “western values”, i don’t want anyone reading this to fucking scoff. i’m talking about freedom of speech, of the press, of religion, of assembly. i’m talking about the belief that a liberal education can make you a better human. i’m talking about the belief that people are inherently valuable. these should be a given but they are NOT.

yes. i know. the united states is not perfect, even in granting those things above to its own citizens. but it TRIES. it doesn’t fucking assassinate journalists. it doesn’t have its secret police raid meetings of non-state-sanctioned political parties. these are REAL THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO REAL PEOPLE AND IT IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO CARE AND TO FIGHT FOR THEM.

the united states pulling out of NATO, or of just being too isolationist to do anything about these very real threats to very real people, is i think the most plausible worst case scenario from a trump presidency. and i am SO willing to fight for moderate republicans who agree with that. people like john mccain.

like, you can probably tell i’m getting kind of emotional over here but i literally want to kiss john mccain right now.

what has 2017 done to me

[russellthornton]

How to Get the Power Back in a Relationship and Earn Your Respect

So, you lost some control, did you? It’s okay, I’ve got you. I’ll teach you how to get the power back in a relationship, and you’ll be fine!

Learning how to get the power back in a relationship isn’t something that happens overnight. It takes a lot of time and patience. You also need to understand that maybe power isn’t everything. Sometimes you need to pick your battles, my love.

A good example of a time when it may be necessary to take back the power in a relationship is when your partner uses it to their advantage. If you partner believes they have power and control over you, it may be time to walk away.

However, if you aren’t ready to do so, you may just need to learn how to get the power back in a relationship, and I’m here to help you do just that.

A lot of us like to assume that we wear the pants in the relationship, which basically means that you are in control. But are you really? And more on that, is it really that great to be in control? Aren’t relationships supposed to be about compromise and an equal partnership? No? Oh. Ok. Well, I suppose you’re right. Sometimes it is important that we get the power back in the relationship–every now and again. [Read: How to be in power together and be that power couple your friends are jealous of]

How to get the power back in a relationship

Like I said, I’m personally not one for “taking back the power,” but hey, I’m good at being in charge and being bossy. I should be able to give you some advice here, right?

#1 Consider why power is important to you. Yeah, before we start on this journey, let us do some soul searching, shall we? Why do you even care? Like I said earlier, power isn’t everything.

However, there are specific circumstances when you want to stay in a relationship and make it work, but you need to have more control over the relationship. That’s what you need to determine next. [Read: You should never, ever tolerate this in a relationship]

#2 Should I stay or should I go? While you’re already soul searching, consider this: Is it worth staying in this relationship, or is it time to walk away? I’ve been in a handful of relationships that were genuinely toxic and unhealthy. My partner believed that he needed to control me. I know you don’t actually know me, but let me tell you–I’m not easily controlled, nor am I meant to be controlled.

Seriously though, it is important that you really take your time to consider whether or not this relationship is even worth the work to take back the power. Or should walk away now while you still have your sanity? [Read: 7 secret signs that reveal a shitty relationship]

#3 *The real step 1*. Okay, so now that we’ve established that you want to do this thing, it’s time to actually get into the nitty gritty of it. Time to make a plan and understand how to get the power back in a relationship.

First things first, stand the heck up for yourself. If you are hoping to take back the power in your relationship, it’s a safe bet that your partner is misusing their power to their advantage and to your disadvantage. Perhaps they have begun to mistreat you or make you feel like a shell of a human being.

It is time to stand up for yourself. Warning: It’s going to freak them out. You need to understand that they aren’t expecting you to suddenly develop a backbone and take charge, yet here you are. [Read: 16 reasons why you’re always being taken for granted by others]

#4 Be kind. Listen, you can easily take back the power in your relationship while still remaining a decent human being. No need to throw shade or make your partner feel inferior to you just because you are climbing that power ladder straight to the top. Kill them with kindness, as they say. After all, if you are in an active romantic relationship with this person, you do want to show them love and kindness. Oh, and power too.

#5 Confidence is key. Stand taller than you ever have before and watch as they quiver. Honestly, it’s possible that they’ve been waiting and praying for this day to come. Perhaps they hate having the power in your relationship. They’ve been waiting for the day that you stand up and take it. It’s a lot of work being in power, so maybe they are ready to pass off the torch to you. The metaphorical power torch, that is.

Stay confident and believe in yourself, because that is when power will truly switch hands. Power loves confidence.

#6 Don’t take no for an answer. Okay, maybe that sounded terrible–but hear me out. One time when my boyfriend and I started dating, he sent me a text while I was out with my dad that said “Movies tonight, me and you, 8:00.” That was it. Something so simple, but it totally intrigued me. He was so demanding and powerful about it.

There’s no way you can say no to something like that, especially when they are a genuinely kind person. So, make sure you pair #4 with #6, always and forever. [Read: Here’s how to build your confidence and change your life for the good]

#7 Don’t shy away from the important things. Maybe it’s just my boyfriend, but he will shy away from important conversations because he doesn’t want to have that weird conversation at that moment in time. Don’t do this. Face your issues head on.

If you haven’t had the marriage or children talk, make that happen. Don’t wait for it to happen to you. Bring it up on your own and show confidence. Your partner is going to love that you did this and may not even notice the power shifting. [Read: 10 awkward but powerful conversations you need to have with your partner]

#8 Tell them how you feel, when you feel it. This sort of ties into the confidence factor, because you will need to get your feelings across in a mature and smooth manner. Crying on the floor in the fetal position is not how to do this.

Make sure they know how you are feeling. Then, own it.

#9 Don’t let them push you around. Figuratively, of course! If they try to force you to do something, make sure you stand your ground. You don’t have to do anything. In relationships, we make compromises. We go to the soccer game that we know nothing about, and our partners go to concerts where they don’t know the artist/band. That’s fine.

Don’t allow them to force you to do things that you don’t want to do. Also, there is a huge difference between asking you to do something and telling you that you are doing something. Pay attention to that difference and stand your ground. [Read: Subtle changes in your partner that are red flags]

#10 Demand the respect you deserve. You are a freaking diamond. You deserve all of the respect in the world, but, unfortunately, we just don’t dish it out as often as we should. You need to demand that respect from your partner.

Whether you are in control or not, you deserve to be respected. You are a human being, after all. Your opinions are valid. What you have to say matters a great deal.

[Read: How to learn to respect and believe in yourself]

Now that you know how to get the power back in a relationship, you will be able to make an informed decision on whether your relationship is worth sticking around for. 

The post How to Get the Power Back in a Relationship and Earn Your Respect is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[studio-elan]

How to Get the Power Back in a Relationship and Earn Your Respect

So, you lost some control, did you? It’s okay, I’ve got you. I’ll teach you how to get the power back in a relationship, and you’ll be fine! Learning how to get the power back in a relationship isn’t something that happens overnight. It takes a lot of time and patience. You also need to understand that maybe power isn’t everything. Sometimes you need to pick your battles, my love. A good example of a time when it may be necessary to take back the power in a relationship is when your partner uses it to their advantage. If you partner believes they have power and control over you, it may be time to walk away. However, if you aren’t ready to do so, you may just need to learn how to get the power back in a relationship, and I’m here to help you do just that. A lot of us like to assume that we wear the pants in the relationship, which basically means that you are in control. But are you really? And more on that, is it really that great to be in control? Aren’t relationships supposed to be about compromise and an equal partnership? No? Oh. Ok. Well, I suppose you’re right. Sometimes it is important that we get the power back in the relationship–every now and again. [Read: How to be in power together and be that power couple your friends are jealous of] How to get the power back in a relationship Like I said, I’m personally not one for “taking back the power,” but hey, I’m good at being in charge and being bossy. I should be able to give you some advice here, right? #1 Consider why power is important to you. Yeah, before we start on this journey, let us do some soul searching, shall we? Why do you even care? Like I said earlier, power isn’t everything. However, there are specific circumstances when you want to stay in a relationship and make it work, but you need to have more control over the relationship. That’s what you need to determine next. [Read: You should never, ever tolerate this in a relationship] #2 Should I stay or should I go? While you’re already soul searching, consider this: Is it worth staying in this relationship, or is it time to walk away? I’ve been in a handful of relationships that were genuinely toxic and unhealthy. My partner believed that he needed to control me. I know you don’t actually know me, but let me tell you–I’m not easily controlled, nor am I meant to be controlled. Seriously though, it is important that you really take your time to consider whether or not this relationship is even worth the work to take back the power. Or should walk away now while you still have your sanity? [Read: 7 secret signs that reveal a shitty relationship] #3 *The real step 1*. Okay, so now that we’ve established that you want to do this thing, it’s time to actually get into the nitty gritty of it. Time to make a plan and understand how to get the power back in a relationship. First things first, stand the heck up for yourself. If you are hoping to take back the power in your relationship, it’s a safe bet that your partner is misusing their power to their advantage and to your disadvantage. Perhaps they have begun to mistreat you or make you feel like a shell of a human being. It is time to stand up for yourself. Warning: It’s going to freak them out. You need to understand that they aren’t expecting you to suddenly develop a backbone and take charge, yet here you are. [Read: 16 reasons why you’re always being taken for granted by others] #4 Be kind. Listen, you can easily take back the power in your relationship while still remaining a decent human being. No need to throw shade or make your partner feel inferior to you just because you are climbing that power ladder straight to the top. Kill them with kindness, as they say. After all, if you are in an active romantic relationship with this person, you do want to show them love and kindness. Oh, and power too. #5 Confidence is key. Stand taller than you ever have before and watch as they quiver. Honestly, it’s possible that they’ve been waiting and praying for this day to come. Perhaps they hate having the power in your relationship. They’ve been waiting for the day that you stand up and take it. It’s a lot of work being in power, so maybe they are ready to pass off the torch to you. The metaphorical power torch, that is. Stay confident and believe in yourself, because that is when power will truly switch hands. Power loves confidence. #6 Don’t take no for an answer. Okay, maybe that sounded terrible–but hear me out. One time when my boyfriend and I started dating, he sent me a text while I was out with my dad that said “Movies tonight, me and you, 8:00.” That was it. Something so simple, but it totally intrigued me. He was so demanding and powerful about it. There’s no way you can say no to something like that, especially when they are a genuinely kind person. So, make sure you pair #4 with #6, always and forever. [Read: Here’s how to build your confidence and change your life for the good] #7 Don’t shy away from the important things. Maybe it’s just my boyfriend, but he will shy away from important conversations because he doesn’t want to have that weird conversation at that moment in time. Don’t do this. Face your issues head on. If you haven’t had the marriage or children talk, make that happen. Don’t wait for it to happen to you. Bring it up on your own and show confidence. Your partner is going to love that you did this and may not even notice the power shifting. [Read: 10 awkward but powerful conversations you need to have with your partner] #8 Tell them how you feel, when you feel it. This sort of ties into the confidence factor, because you will need to get your feelings across in a mature and smooth manner. Crying on the floor in the fetal position is not how to do this. Make sure they know how you are feeling. Then, own it. #9 Don’t let them push you around. Figuratively, of course! If they try to force you to do something, make sure you stand your ground. You don’t have to do anything. In relationships, we make compromises. We go to the soccer game that we know nothing about, and our partners go to concerts where they don’t know the artist/band. That’s fine. Don’t allow them to force you to do things that you don’t want to do. Also, there is a huge difference between asking you to do something and telling you that you are doing something. Pay attention to that difference and stand your ground. [Read: Subtle changes in your partner that are red flags] #10 Demand the respect you deserve. You are a freaking diamond. You deserve all of the respect in the world, but, unfortunately, we just don’t dish it out as often as we should. You need to demand that respect from your partner. Whether you are in control or not, you deserve to be respected. You are a human being, after all. Your opinions are valid. What you have to say matters a great deal. [Read: How to learn to respect and believe in yourself] Now that you know how to get the power back in a relationship, you will be able to make an informed decision on whether your relationship is worth sticking around for.  The post How to Get the Power Back in a Relationship and Earn Your Respect is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.