#missed class today because I slept through my alarm

[entropicquilibriumofchaos]

.

[seraphdreams]

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MEGUMI!" | MEGUMI FUSHIGURO.

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃— synopsis. it would be so very cruel of you to not show your appreciation for your best friend, especially on his birthday.

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃— cw. smut, college au, reader calls him “megs”, mention of “angelcunt”, unprotected love-making, bimbo!reader / best friend!megumi, a bit of asphyxiation, megumi with a crush! fingering, and praise. mdni <3

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃— word count. 1.7k, a quick read !!

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 — dolled up! hellooo !! it’s a real one’s birthday, this is the least i could do to celebrate. i’m trying to get back into the groove of writing again so stay tuned n ready 4 fics in the future !! sweet college au best friend megumi is always on my mind, something about a stoic but secretly in love trope .. (he’s no better than his father, sigh) .. as always, if you enjoyed this, please reblog / comment. i’ll bake u you’re favorite sweets if u do !! thank u ♡

megumi has always been there for you. through ups and downs, taxing breakups, even the times you’d get exceedingly inebriated and ramble endlessly about your ever-growing appreciation for him — there was no denying the cordiality he’d shown throughout the many years of your friendship. sure, he could be quite cold, maybe even grumpy; but that was just the joy of megumi fushiguro.

and for that, it’d only be right to repay him.

for all of the times he would show up uninvited to your dorm with the notes of the lecture you’d fortuitously missed, blaming the absence on the absurdly quiet lull of your alarm clock, or when he’d let you have the last bite of his food, because only god knows megumi was never above tolerating you. it’d be the work of a terrible friend to let it all go unnoticed, especially on a special day like today.

“happy birthday, megs!” there you stood,

bubbly and bright as ever, in the doorway of his bedroom, clad in nothing but a tiny pink pajama set with a top reigning transparency, it barely left the skin beneath to the imagination.

he had invited you, along with yuuji and nobara, over to his dorm the previous night to keep him company after class — which led to a kugisaki-induced movie marathon, and eventually phased out into the four of you passed out on the fushiguro’s couch, hues of light omitting from the colorful rays of the forgotten television screen and onto your slumbering faces.

with megumi holding the title of competency within the friend group, it came as no shock when he’d woken up the others to send them on their merry way. all except you, of course. the light throw-over blanket clinging to your body neatly as you slept, soft snores resonating within your being aided in megumi’s decision to give you a few extra minutes to rest.

he could never interfere with your comfort.

after your unanticipated birthday wishes, it took a moment for megumi to come to, blinking away his awareness for your scantily clothed body and opting for a more stoic expression.

“thanks,” he replied, tone low and clouded with an air of vague appreciation.

“wanna know what i got you for your birthday?” your query was that of a sing-song manner as you swayed in place. megumi was used to being around absolute rays of sunshine, but you? you were different. it was as if you were the sun itself; warm and inviting yet shone luminous enough to blind onlookers. you were tooth-rottingly sweet, and as bubbly as you were naive.

matters weren’t made any better forgoing the fact that megumi had true feelings for you. it was a running gag within your friend group, jokes that itadori and nobara would make concerning the contrast between megumi’s unwelcoming behavior when it came to them, and impassive patience had times fell upon you.

in fact, obliviousness was your specialty in being ignorant to the feelings of the fushiguro. it wasn’t your fault, you truly didn’t know.

megumi responds curtly, although with a hint of sarcasm, “a break?”

you pout as you rest your head against the lacquered doorframe, reigning defeated already despite the conversation barely racking up a minute’s time. “no, silly.” the words come out as a giggle. “i got you me!”

a hint of confusion glosses over his features before it morphs into that of a neutral expression. shirtless from his shower just minutes prior, and puzzled from what your mind had conjured up this time, he questions again. “you? you got me you?”

you shake your head affirmatively as he starts up once more. “and what do i do with you?”

clear as day, your exchange took a rather suggestive turn, one that neither of you were intending. “well, you can do a lot of things with me,” now stepping into the room to close the distance between your bodies, your response is thick with an air of lust that megumi noticed seemed to come naturally for you. his heart picks up in pace from the sight of your pretty face, and even prettier eyes looking vacantly into his, as if you weren’t aware of the trap you set up for yourself.

he brushed off the slight arousal brewing up within him, chose to play it off as mirth like he usually did when it came to you. “i guess so.”

you held onto his arm, a more distinct, yet adorable look of seriousness on your features. truly, you were a little doll. “i’m for real, megs. it’s your birthday, i’ll let you do anything you want.”

yeah. you’re really going to regret this one.

the word “anything” came with free reign. and even though megumi thought of himself as anyone but a pervert, he certainly was bound to start acting like one.

“anything?” his question came out as if he was treading lightly while he moved to dig through his drawer, perhaps looking for a shirt.

you stepped back to allow him the space of rummaging, while nodding your head and confirming his suspicions. “anything.”

“let’s fuck, then.”

his tone was nonchalant, easy on your ears as his speaking voice regularly sounded, and you would have missed his request had he not straightened up to search your countenance for an answer — deadpan, as if he hadn’t said a thing.

in that moment, all of what you hadn’t noticed, no. all of what you chose to deny had finally been put into perspective.

megumi fushiguro was fucking hot.

“i mean, if that’s what you want then i don’t mind.” your response was succinct, gentle on your tongue and provided him the response he’d been aiming for.

this might be his best birthday yet.

he strode closer to you in light steps before his large, glacial hand found its place on your cheek and silken lips met yours, pulling you into a salacious kiss filled with hunger and want. the press of his tongue begging to be allotted within the slot of your lips was accepted with your own muscle dancing against his. it was dizzying, and dissimilar. for all your years of knowing megumi, you would’ve never thought up the occuring situation.

lithe fingers danced up the skin of your thighs where you part them on instinct, allowing his digits to work on their own to slip past the barrier of elastic fabric and into your little lace panties, softly drumming along the puffy nub of your clit.

“megumi,” you rasp against his lips, swirling your hips over his hand to build up the sweet friction surging from your core. the saccharine croon of his name tasted sugary like vanilla rolling off of your tongue and onto his. he was in pure bliss; ready to take everything you gave to him.

his body responded to your need, fingertips at your clit circling tightly, an action that pulled a string of mewls from you before you gasped at the intrusion of his long fingers dipping into your core. they curled upwards against your gummy walls just until they increased in pace while his thumb pivoted at your sensitive nub, and fuck! where’d he learn how to do that?

he pulled away only slightly to read your expression, the tent in his pants growing taller, tip leaking carelessly at the onsight of your face, screwed taut in pleasure — plump, glossy lips that were slick with spit and moans slipping past without prevail.

underneath him, your legs felt feeble, as if they’d fall beneath you from the surgence of pleasure. “m-megumi, wait, ‘m gonna!-“ you held onto his shoulders for leverage, your warnings of orgasm falling on deaf, distracted ears, until finally, you were a gushing mess in his palm, coating his digits in your essence.

“fuck. you’re so pretty when you cum,” in that moment, he gave you no chance to react when he gently positioned you over his dresser, pulling down your little shorts until they pooled around your knees.

“y’made me so hard, y/n. can you feel it?” he grinded himself over the plush of your ass, teasing before pulling his sweats down just enough so that his hard, throbbing and leaking, length could be free. it bobbed ever so under its weight while one hand began to pump from base to shaft to soothe the excruciating ache. once he felt satisfied in his ministrations, he lined his cock along your awaiting slit.

“a condom, megs.” your reminder came in the form of a soft lull. after all, you two were just free-spirited college students, unable to pay the consequences of spontaneous actions. “don’t have any.” with that, he sunk his cock inside to the hilt, a low groan rippling from his throat at just how tight your pussy clamped around him. it felt like fucking heaven. he could die in your cunt and be at peace.

while you adjusted to the stretch, he began to move; slow, deep strokes as if he were savoring this moment forever. who knows when he’ll be able to have the luxury to sink inside your perfect angelcunt again? you bit your lip to stave off impending moans which ultimately failed when his arms snaked around your body — one hand underneath the cloth of your shirt and pinching at your perked nipples while the other finds its place right back at your clit.

“sh-shit!” you cry out, eyes rolling and mind hazy from the pleasure. his rhythm increased gradually until he built up a vigorous pace. “i’ve been needing y-you so bad.” megumi groans along the shell of your ear. how he got so lucky as to have his dream girl engulfed around his cock, he doesn’t know. all he’s aware of was the tightening of his abdomen, signaling his own impending orgasm.

white hot pleasure replace all feeling in your body, counting down its time until the familiar numbness washed over you in euphoria. a pitchy moan sounded from your lips and an even whorish whimper when the warmth from spurts of his cum coated your insides.

after what felt like a minute of the two of you recollecting your breaths, megumi finally pulled out, shuddering at the added stimulation at his oversensitive cock.

he leaned your head back to meet his lust-filled gaze; calmness of his deep navy orbs now deepened with sin. megumi pressed gentle kisses all over your face while his hands took purchase at your now, exposed, neck and squeezed tight enough to keep you lightheaded.

“you’re the best birthday present.”

[lilirari]

　　　　　　　　　　 𐙚 ⋆୨୧˚ KISS IT OFF ME ⋆ ˚ ꩜ ｡

𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾. the one where gavi drops his girlfriend off to uni because she (unfortunately) missed her alarm.

💌 pablo gavi x fem! reader (written work + social media au)

# author's note : this is dedicated to my favourite gavi lover, @zowanew :p <3 it's not really proof-read & i have limited spanish knowledge (i used google translate for most of the spanish parts) so if you see any grammatical mistakes or some sentences seem off, please look the other way 👩🏻‍🦯

beep beep beep.

your alarm went off as you grumbled softly and begrudgingly turned to the other side of the bed. your hand slowly hovered over the digital clock on the bed stand, as you pressed the button on the top and lazily opened an eye to look at the time. however, when you saw that it was already 7:00 am, you immediately jolted up from your bed, your sleepy eyes widening as you stared at the clock. you rubbed your eyes and blinked a few times to check if you were actually staring at the real thing or just dreaming.

“ it's 7 already ? how did i sleep through the 6 o'clock mark ? " you muttered to yourself in shock as you quickly scurried out of your bed and folded your blanket. you arranged your bedsheet before giving a soft pat to your miffy plushie who sat besides your pillow and looked after you when you were asleep. " good morning miffy. " you said, smiling down at the white bunny plushie as you slipped into your comfy slides.

you swiftly made your way to the bathroom, doing all the necessities like brushing your teeth, washing your face and doing your daily skincare routine. after you were done, you came back into your room and opened your closet, as you stared the clothes hanging inside. your eyes darted left and right as you made up an outfit combination in your mind straight away. you pulled out those clothes and started getting ready to head to the university. you had your classes at 8 am so you rapidly changed your clothes, not wanting to be late. just then, your phone, which was placed on your dressing table, buzzed and the screen lighted up. you leaned down only to see that it was a message from your boyfriend. your lips curved upwards into a small smile as you opened the message to reply back to him.

imessage 💬

pablito ���

good morning baby ! did you sleep well ?

mi corazón

good morning lover boy <3 yes i did. although i might've slept a bit too well...

i kinda overslept...

pablito 💗

it's good that you got some well deserved sleep but don't you have uni today ?

mi corazón

yeah 😭 i think i'm going to be late.. i have to turn into the flash to be able to attend my first class on time 😞

pablito 💗

hm.. i don't think that's necessary, y/n. i'll come and pick you up at your house. i also have a practice session for our match tonight and your university's on the way to the stadium anyways.

mi corazón

oh baby, it's all good, don't worry. you don't have to go through such lengths for me ! i'll just try to catch the bus.

pablito 💗

no, i won't take a refusal as an answer. i'll be at your door in 15 minutes. take all the time you need to get ready, okay ?

mi corazón

but gavi 😭

pablito 💗

you can't stop me i'm already omw, amor

mi corazón

.. okay, alright 😞 thank you :( i love you <3

pablito 💗

love you too. see you soon :)

you closed your phone as a soft sigh escaped your lips. you were really so lucky to have gavi in your life. he adored you so much and was always willing to go through extreme lengths just for you. you shifted your focus to the mirror as you dolled yourself up with some light make-up and fixed your hair. you wore the necklace which gavi gave you on your birthday the previous year, and smiled as you looked at it through the mirror. it was your favourite belonging as it had yours & his initials on it. you shoved all the necessities required for the day into your bag and donned your favourite converse all stars.

you made your way downstairs, where your mother and your breakfast awaited. you acknowledged each other's presence, and you had your breakfast and talked a bit about what you were both planning to do this very day. a few minutes later, you heard a car horn in your driveway as a small smile decorated your lips. you informed your mum that gavi was dropping you off, which made your mum chuckle and tease you a little. after you said your goodbyes, you walked out the door to see your boyfriend waiting for you in his sedan car. as soon as he saw you, the expression on his face lighted up.

" hi, amor. you look so pretty today. " gavi greeted, pressing a light kiss on your forehead as you sat down on the passenger seat.

" thank you, baby waby. " you replied back, a small snicker escaping your lips as you noticed the change in his expression when he heard that nickname. you liked to use it whenever you were teasing him because it always made him pout and you found this action of his to be so endearing. " you don't look so bad yourself, guapo. " you commented, giving him a slight up & down look as you smiled. gavi always dressed up really well *cough* unlike his best friend pedri *cough*, and he looked good in any outfit, be it a suit or just a plain t-shirt.

the ride to your university was quite fun. you talked about how much you were dreading to take the afternoon classes and gavi talked about the silly antics his teammates liked to pull during practice sessions. you also had a good laugh when you reached the gates of your uni because of your boyfriend as he kept honking at the students blocking the road, angrily yelling " GET OUT OF THE WAY ! MY GIRLFRIEND'S GOING TO BE LATE !! " at them. this resulted in a few head turns and confused stares but you didn't even notice those looks because being with gavi made you so much more happy and not give a care about anything else in the world.

when you had finally reached your class building, you noticed your friends waiting for you at a distance as you waved at them, flashing them your pearly whites.

" thank you so much for dropping me off today, pablito. i would've gotten some sort of detention if it weren't for you. i owe you one. " you expressed your thanks as you took off your seatbelt.

" you don't have to owe me anything, y/n. all i ask for is a kiss. " he replied back, eyebrows raised and a small smirk plastered on his face as he awaited for your response.

" what ? a kiss ? but my friends are looking at us ! " you exclaimed, the colour of your cheeks turning into a light shade of pink.

your boyfriend, obviously, did not listen to your protests though as he rolled his eyes before immediately leaning in closer to you, planting his lips on top of yours. you could feel his lips forming a smirk as he held the kiss for a few seconds before pulling away.

" who cares about your friends ? anyways, don't be late for tonight's match, okay, mi amor ? since we're going against the merengues in a home match, i need my good luck charm to be present for such a crucial match. " gavi reminded as he cupped your cheeks. " i'll score a goal for you. "

you were still a bit startled by that sudden kiss but you shook it off and nodded at his words. " don't you always ? " you asked, grinning like a cheshire cat. " hm.. i wouldn't miss it for the world. i can't wait to see the looks on the faces of the madridistas when their team loses to us. " you remarked, giggling as you got out of the car. " te quiero, cariño. please be careful when training, okay ? " you requested, waving at him as you closed the door. " hm, don't worry. que tengas un gran día, mi amor. te quiero. see you later. " gavi responded, sending a wink your way before driving off.

you then caught up with your friends, with them squealing in excitement and nudging you teasingly after witnessing your little kissing scene with your boyfriend and you feeling embarrassed but content.

you couldn't take your classes properly though because all you were thinking about was the kiss.

instagram 🎥

yourinstagram 🔒

liked by pablogavi, pedri, joaofelix79 and 306 others

tagged pablogavi

yourinstagram my baby <3 and there's gavi too ig 🧍🏻‍♀️

view all 67 comments

pablogavi " there's gavi too ig " ???? i dropped you off at uni + dedicated not one but two goals for you and this is how you repay me ? 😞

-> pablogavi do you love miffy more than me or what ? 🙄

-> yourinstagram yes ☺️

-> yourinstagram jk jk i love you more than miffy

-> pablogavi ha, take that miffy !

-> yourinstagram what did this bunny even do to you 😭

-> pablogavi took away all your attention from me 😕

-> yourinstagram eres tan lindo.. 🥹 don't worry, you'll always have my attention, pablito

-> pablogavi yeah i better 😠

pedri gavi estaba flipando al verte con su camiseta 🤭

liked by yourinstagram

joaofelix79 love u bro

-> pablogavi ❤️💙

-> yourinstagram um ?? 🤨🤨🤨🤨

yourbestfriend the matching miffy and badtz-maru rings.. the highway looks like a good place to sleep tonight

-> yourinstagram BESTIE NO DON'T GO THERE 😭

-> yourinstagram i promise i'll make gavi find a good footballer bf just for u 🫶

-> yourbestfriend please 😞🙏

classmate1 girl you're seriously so lucky to have the best pro footballer as ur bf 😭

classmate2 wikihow to be y/n 😞

classmate3 y/n please get us footballer bfs too

friend1 the flower 🥹🥹🥹

friend2 OMG THE MIFFY STATUE !!!

friend3 i'm in awe you look gorgeous queen

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pablogavi

liked by pedri, yourinstagram, frenkiedejong and 20,192,299 others

pablogavi con un fan muy especial ☺️ otra victoria en casa ! gracias a todos por vuestro apoyo. força barça ❤️💙

view all 630,122 comments

yourinstagram lo hiciste increíble hoy !

liked by pablogavi

yourinstagram te quiero, mi amor ❤️

-> pablogavi te quiero, mi vida 💙 gracias por apoyarme siempre

fcbarcelona dos goles sorprendentes 👏

pedri chico de oro 💪

joaofelix79 🪄🪄

_ferminlopez 😘

jpcancelo hermanito 😍

_rl9 🔥

user10 you played incredibly well today, pablo !

user21 congratulations on the win, best boy !

user38 forever a culer 🤞🤞

user45 so happy to have gotten 2 beautiful goals from you ! so proud of you ❤️‍🩹

user03 AHHHH GAVIYN CONTENT !!! 🥹🥹🥹

user57 barça's golden boy 🗣️🗣️🗣️

user99 did you guys see how happy y/n was when he scored.. she was literally jumping and screaming 🥹 she's so cute they're so cute :(

user82 my parents <33

user73 the way he dedicated both goals to y/n.. i'm going to take a bath with the toaster tonight

user64 the best barça couple 🫶

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© LILIRARI, 2023 ★

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman - Part 3

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternate Universe : Military School

Words : 6k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Wednesday, October 7; 6:00 AM - Ona and Alexia's Room.

Once again, that damn alarm clock that sounds like a firehouse siren. It never stops. I wonder how I missed it yesterday! I must have been really tired not to hear it. I press my pillow against my ears, which can't take this shrill, repetitive noise anymore. I only release the pressure once it stops. I need to make the effort to get up today if I want to avoid Bronze' wrath a second time. She exhausted me so much yesterday that I slept straight through the imposed curfew. It's been a long time since I had a full night's sleep. I grimace, letting out a groan as I sit up. Damn it!

"Sore muscles?" Alexia mocks, already up.

"More than a little, damn it."

"You'll get used to it, don't worry!"

"I've been hearing that since I got here."

"Because it's true. Hurry up if you don't want even more sore muscles. We only have fifteen minutes to get ready before inspection," she tells me.

"Fifteen minutes?!" I repeat. "Are you kidding me?"

"If only," she laughs.

I think I've never gotten up so fast, realizing my lateness as I see Alexia already freshly dressed and made up. I'm a dead girl if I'm not ready on time. Bronze threatened to make me endure worse than yesterday if that happened, and I'm not sure I can survive it. I rush to the bathroom with the right uniform. Turns out I got sent back from my first class for wearing the "sports uniform." Alexia had warned me, but exhaustion had taken over. As a result, I had to come back to my room to return to class in the proper attire. An awful outfit, by the way. It's composed of my combat boots, black pants, a khaki t-shirt, and my infamous military jacket. I put it all on before doing my makeup and fixing my hair. I now have two little minutes left to make my bed. I almost run to it to finish before her arrival. Alexia is already ready at the foot of her bed while I wrestle with my duvet. I panic, realizing the mess I'm in. I get all mixed up and can't remember the right steps.

"How do you manage to be so quick? Damn it! I can't make this damn bed again!"

I throw the duvet on the floor in a fit of anger. My bed looked like a mess anyway, so showing her my work or this pile is the same.

"Is there a problem, Batlle?"

I jump at the sound of her voice. That's it, I'm screwed. I turn around as slowly as possible to see her behind me. I feel intimidated by her stance, arms crossed, eyebrow raised. Alexia is holding back laughter behind her. I admit if it didn't concern me, I'd find this situation somewhat amusing. But since it does concern me, it's immediately less funny.

"Look at me when I talk to you!"

My eyes automatically return to her. Her sharp tone leaves no choice but to listen. She then turns to Alexia, who immediately stops giggling.

"No problem, Bronze," I reply, emphasizing her name. "Been fishing for information, Batlle?" "So it seems... Isn't Engen supposed to inspect the rooms in the morning?"

I cast my eyes on my informant, none other than Alexia. She doesn't dare move since Bronze looked at her. She's as straight as a rod with her hands clasped behind her back. It's like we're facing our section leader in the army... Almost the case.

"Stop looking at her, you're talking to me!" "Then answer me." "I'm personally in charge of this room while you adapt." "How lucky," I said sarcastically. "You said it," she smiles. "You can go, Putellas."

Alexia thanks her in a barely audible voice and flees the room, abandoning me with the tyrant. Thanks for the support! I fix my gaze on Bronze once the door closes at her request. As much as I want to stand up to her... It's a different story when she's in front of me. She seems cold and confident. It's no wonder everyone is afraid of her. However, I still plan to devise an attack plan against her. I just need to wait for the right moment and regain my strength.

"Well, now that your distraction is outside, will you answer me seriously?" "Why is she allowed to leave and not me?" "Don't dodge my question. You know perfectly well why you're staying here." "I don't want to miss breakfast again!"

"I gave you a pain au chocolat without being obliged, as far as I know. Now, tell me what your problem is. We'll see if you have time to get there."

She annoys me with her insistence on having things her way. She didn't earn her nickname for nothing! I'm no longer used to taking orders. I wait to see if she gives up without an answer, but she remains very patient. I comply, stepping aside to show her the disastrous state of my bed.

"I tried to remake it, but I can't do it anymore," I admitted. "You did it in front of me yesterday."

I relax when I realize she's not angry. She's just trying to understand what's going on. Maybe I'll avoid punishment if I stay honest.

"So, will you explain?"

"I just told you," I growled. "I'm not used to making my bed like this! You can't expect me to get it right overnight! Plus, I panicked because of your damn pressure!"

I realize what I just let slip when I see the little smile forming on her face. Damn it! I didn't want her to know something like that. She now knows she already has an influence over me.

"Alright, let's make a deal."

"I fear the worst," I mumbled.

"Hey, I'm doing this for you, just to be clear."

"Yeah, yeah..." I said unconvincingly.

"I'm willing to show you how to make your bed again so you know how to do it in the future, and you can have your breakfast. In return, we'll meet tonight after your classes."

"For what reason?"

"Do you really think you'll get away with nothing? I warned you that you'd be punished if you weren't ready on time today."

"I'm not gaining much in your proposal!" "You gain my help and your breakfast. That's a lot from me."

In the end, I won't escape this punishment... I weigh the pros and cons, even though the answer should be obvious since, in any case, she won't let me leave without making my bed and receiving my punishment.

"Alright, fine. I'll go with your proposal." "Good. I'll show you this time. Watch carefully and then do it yourself, okay?" "Okay..." "Come closer and observe carefully."

I move forward as she shakes out my duvet, letting it fall onto my bed. Like yesterday, she starts at the corners at the foot of the bed. She takes her time to show me each fold again, making sure I'm following. Once that's done, she smooths the duvet upwards before tucking it neatly under the pillow. She then tucks the excess sides under the mattress, which doesn’t seem to weigh much. I observe the flawless result. She must be well-trained to do it so quickly and perfectly.

"Got it?" "I think so..."

"No, you need to be sure. If you tell me you got it and tomorrow you’re not ready on time, I won’t want to hear any excuses when I punish you."

"You're such a pain," I mutter. "Excuse me?!" "Can I try again before giving you my answer?" "If you want."

I move to undo the bed, but her arm stops me.

"Don’t ever say something like that again. The fact that you even dare to address me informally is too much. Don’t push it too far, or you’ll regret it bitterly. Are we clear?"

"Yeah..." "Yes," she corrects me. "Repeat." "Yes," I growl. "Good," she says, lowering her arm. "Now try again."

I undo the bed in one go, then start from where she began. I try to replicate what she just showed me, starting with one corner, then the other. It's the hardest part. Once done, I smooth it upwards and tuck it under the pillow. I was about to tuck one side, but her voice stops me.

"Pull the duvet more, there are still wrinkles."

"Like this?" I ask, following her instructions.

"A bit more. Don’t hold back. The duvet is too caught at the foot of the bed to come out."

I follow her advice and pull harder. I let go of the duvet once it’s nicely stretched, without any wrinkles.

"Good, now tuck the sides under the mattress."

I do as instructed, starting with my side, then the other. I smile at the result, better than yesterday. I glance at my supervisor on the other side.

"It’s not so hard, is it?"

"No..."

"Do you feel confident you can do it, or do you need another try?"

"I think I'm good."

"Sure? I don’t want to hear any complaints if you’re late because of this tomorrow."

"Yes, I’m sure. I’ll face the consequences."

"Alright, you can go then. We’ll meet after your classes. What time do you finish?"

"Four o'clock, I think."

"Where’s your schedule?"

I point to my desk where it’s pinned to the wall. I don’t know my hours yet, so I keep it in plain sight. She approaches to look at it closely.

"Four o'clock, that's right. See you later." "See you later, Commander."

I give her my best sarcastic smile before leaving my room. I hate the idea of another punishment tonight. It’s not like my lateness was my fault. I just couldn’t make that damn bed! I dread what she has in store for me. I hope it’s not more laps around the field. Apparently, that’s her specialty according to Leah. Well, at least I get my breakfast. I arrive at the buffet, greeting the staff as I serve myself. I’m the last one, but I'm glad to find my precious hot chocolate and morning pastry. I turn towards the room once done. I smile, spotting my roommate and her friends at their table. I quickly join them.

"Oooh, here’s the survivor!" Alba mocks as I arrive.

"Hey," I say, sitting down.

"You've already made a splash since yesterday!" Pina informs me.

"Everyone’s talking about you!" Patri adds. "You’re building quite a reputation!"

"Really? Why?" I ask before taking a bite of my pastry.

"They say you have the guts to stand up to Bronze," Lotte says. "Is it true you address her informally?"

"Maybe," I answer vaguely. "I don’t see what’s so special about it." "We see it very clearly," Alexia mocks. "Did you get away with nothing this morning?" "I have to meet her after my classes." "That smells like punishment!" comments Alba. "It is. She told me." "And you’re not bothered?" "Why would I be? I plan to prepare something much worse for her." "You've got balls," Alexia comments.

I know they think I’m crazy, but I’m not changing my mind. I finish my meal, continuing to chat since we have time. Then we head slowly towards the classroom buildings, with little motivation on my part. I met my first teachers yesterday. They’re all old fogies who aren’t even fifty yet. I’m curious about today's teachers since I was bored to death yesterday. I was on the verge of falling asleep, but Alexia kept me awake by mentioning the words "expulsion" and "Bronze." It seems that behavior like that leads to expulsions, like being late. I wasn’t going to tempt fate after spending my morning with Bronze. Knowing her a bit better, I doubt she’d let something like that slide. She doesn’t seem like someone who appreciates such behavior. Instead, I tried to follow the lesson as best I could. It was difficult, not having been in a classroom for two years. Today, it’s the same. I take my place next to Alexia with a long sigh. I have a feeling today will be as long as yesterday given the new teacher in front of me.

Wednesday, October 7; 4:10 PM - Ona and Alexia's Room.

I was wrong this morning. My day ended up going faster than expected. Maybe because I haven’t seen my supervisor since this morning. It put me in a good mood. At least, as much as I can be here. Adjusting is difficult. There's not much difference from a military camp. It’s likely there’s more

freedom there. I’m happy Alexia is here to brighten my days. She reminds me of my best friend from Barcelona. She’s just as energetic. I'm lucky to have her in my class, even if she’s too serious for my taste. I managed to make her laugh several times today. We got remarks, but nothing alarming enough to stop us. I'm still relieved it’s over. I’m supposed to meet Bronze, but I didn’t get any instructions on where to meet. So I followed Alexia to our room where she wants to finish her homework before joining her friends in the common room. I plan to do the same if Bronze doesn’t show up. She’ll have to find me if she wants to see me. I’m not chasing after her! I have a tiny hope she’s forgotten, but I doubt it. In the meantime, I chat with Ale about our day on the way back. She tells me a story about Patri and Claudia during their chemistry class last year. Apparently, they did an experiment that almost set the school on fire, leading to a summons and a big punishment. I can’t stop laughing with Alexia, who has a knack for making stories funny. She did the same at lunch, and it’s rare for me to laugh so sincerely over so little. My laughter stops abruptly when we open our room door. Damn... My last hopes evaporate seeing Bronze waiting for me, holding my sports uniform.

"It’s about time. Go change," she orders.

I find myself holding my uniform without even having entered my room. Her determination scares me for what’s next. Alexia passes by her, greeting her and making herself small. She confessed to me that she’s afraid of her for some reason and respects her greatly. I understand, but that doesn’t mean I’ll react the same way.

"Please... Not laps again, please! I did everything you asked! It’s not my fault I couldn’t do it." "Already begging, Ona? I thought you were braver than that."

I narrow my eyes at her jab. Not only is she provoking me, but she’s also implying I’m already giving in. I’d make her eat her smug smile if I could! So she’d understand it’s not the case.

"No, I just have a lot of sore muscles because of you," I retort.

-  That mean that your body needed it. Now go change.

-  Damn it, you’re annoying, I grumbled. Promise me you won’t make me do any sports first.

-  Change your tone with me. I haven’t planned any sports, but I might add some to my list if you keep being cheeky. Maybe you’ll understand what it’s like when I really annoy you.

-  Fine, I was just joking, I rolled my eyes.

-  Do I need to drag you by force to make you listen? she threatened me. I sighed as I walked into the bathroom. I envied Alexia, who was sitting on her bed doing her homework. Her encouraging smile was the last thing I saw before closing the door without locking it, as per Bronze’s orders. I tried to hurry, but the muscle soreness made things difficult, especially with my pants. I was curious to find out what I was going to do if I wasn’t running. When I opened the door again, Bronze was waiting with her arms crossed and her foot tapping nervously on the floor.

- Let’s go. Bronze went ahead while I said goodbye to Alexia, who wished me good luck. I followed her through the corridors, putting my hands in my pockets to annoy her a bit.

- So, Bronze, what’s the plan for today? I asked when I caught up with her.

-  Stop being cheeky, I won’t repeat myself. You weren’t so smart-mouthed yesterday, on the field.

-  Me? Cheeky? I laughed. Nonsense!

-  Start by taking your hands out of your pockets.

-  That’s nothing bad!

-  Batlle ! she snapped. When I tell you something, you obey. I took them out, afraid she would follow through on her previous threats. In other circumstances, I wouldn’t have done it, but now I wasn’t sure I could handle another sports session with my aching thighs. At least I had managed to annoy her as I wanted. We entered the gym, making me fear the worst... I hoped she kept her word and that I wouldn’t do any sports. I forced myself to keep up with her quick pace. It was my first time here. Wiegman hadn’t given me a tour, and I hadn’t had any sports yet. She walked down several corridors of the new building before opening one of the many doors in a hallway. She stepped aside to let me enter first. I walked in cautiously, too disturbed by the room. It was a locker room, so what? My supervisor pushed me in the back to make me go faster. It was a new room with benches and hooks lining the right wall. I stopped in the middle, where there was an open frame facing the benches. Damn... I understood our presence here when I saw the state of the communal showers. They were corroded by lime due to extensive use. Bronze had placed cleaning supplies on the floor. I had no more doubts about my punishment tonight.

-  Is this a joke? I blurted out.

-  No sports. Isn’t that what you wanted?

-  Maybe, but not this! I’m not a fucking maid !

-  Too bad, you’ll have to improvise then.

-  Stop messing with me! Is there really nothing else?

-  No, there isn’t. You’re not in a position to negotiate with me, so accept your punishment.

-  Because I will be someday?

-  Start by accepting your punishments and changing your behavior, then we’ll talk about it. She had a cold-bloodedness that impressed me. I gave up, realizing that I was indeed not the one in control of the situation right now.

-  Okay, I resigned. Will you leave me alone?

-  No. I’ll be supervising you to ensure you do your work, but first, we’ll have a talk.

-  About what? I asked, intrigued.

-  Yesterday, you told me you didn’t know the rules, so I’ll explain the most important ones to make it clear. That way, you’ll be warned and won’t have any excuses.

-  Oh, yeah. At least I’ll know why I’m being punished.

- Good, take a seat.

I sat on the bench she pointed to and noticed a whiteboard with bullet points on it that I hadn’t seen before. The writing, which I guessed was hers, was very neat. I was ready to pay attention to the rules. I planned to follow them while scheming my revenge and getting out of this place. The fewer rules I broke, the less she’d be on my back. It would take some effort to comply, based on what I could already see on the board.

-  First, wake-up is at six o’clock, she began, pointing to the first bullet point. You should know that by now.

-  Hard to miss the alarm anyway.

-  Inspection is fifteen minutes later, she continued, ignoring my remark. You must be ready by then, in uniform, and with your bed made perfectly.

-  Is it a disaster if I’m not wearing makeup when you come?

-  No. You’ll have access to your room after your meal. The purpose of the inspection is to see if you’re in uniform and if your room is tidy.

-  Okay, I sighed.

-  A problem?

-  No... I was just wondering why wake-up is so early.

-  Simply to prevent you from being too tired in class.

-  No, actually! I countered. By getting up so early, we’re definitely more tired. She shook her head. It was the first time I appreciated her smile and our conversation. It wasn’t an order or a dispute for once. I almost forgot her cold and unbearable personality.

-  You don’t understand anything.

-  No, indeed, I frowned.

-  Let’s move on to the third rule before the explanations, shall we? I nodded, curious to hear her arguments. For me, six o’clock was not a time to get up. It was way too early, especially after the year I just lived. I had my own schedule.

-  So, curfew is at ten o’clock, but Alexia must have already told you that.

-  Yeah.

-  An instructor can enter the room at any time from that hour to check that you’re asleep.

-  And what if we can’t sleep that early? That was my case the first night.

-  Is that why you didn’t get up the first day?

-  Yeah, I fell asleep around one in the morning.

-  I see. You’ll soon get into the rhythm, don’t worry. What were your usual sleep hours before coming here?

-  Well... I thought. I’d say four o’clock until noon most of the time. She raised an eyebrow at my honesty. She probably didn’t expect that. Understandable. She must have thought I was in school, but that wasn’t the case. I did nothing with my days, so I had my own schedule.

-  You didn’t have classes?

-  No. I stopped studying after high school.

-  How come you’re in the final year then?

-  No idea, I shrugged. I’m where they told me to go.

-  Hmm, she replied skeptically. Let’s get back to the main subject. Wiegman kept her word about the file. She didn’t seem to know the reasons for my presence, given how intrigued she was. However, she didn’t ask any questions. I wouldn’t have answered anyway. This school isn’t going to change me. If my mother thinks so, she’s an idiot.

-  As for my explanation, the curfew ensures eight hours of sleep until six o’clock and prevents you from staying up at impossible hours at night.

-  What difference does it make? We could just wake up later in the morning, and it would be the same.

-  No, it’s not the same. By taking away an hour at night, we restrict your use of electronic devices. You’re more likely to use them at night than in the morning. Besides, you have more time to eat and be together instead of communicating with the outside world.

-  Everything we do at night, we can do in the morning too, I retorted.

-  I assure you, you can’t. Even if that’s the case, it allows you to be fully awake for your classes. You have no excuse for being tired. Explained this way, the schedule seemed great, but I remained skeptical. It’s true that I was more awake in class this morning compared to my high school memories. The problem is, it’s useless if I have teachers who put me to sleep right after. I kept this response to myself, not wanting to get scolded for saying such a thing.

-  Still, six o’clock is way too early.

-  You’ll get used to it. You’ll see, in a week, your previous schedule will be a thing of the past, and you’ll be back on track. Can I continue now?

-  Hmm.

-  Okay, then, no electronic devices outside the rooms, whether it’s a phone, Mac, or any other device, she listed. You should already know this since I haven’t had to reprimand you in two days. Am I wrong?

- I know, yes. Why is it forbidden?

She raised an eyebrow at my question. My participation must have surprised her, or maybe it was just my questions. We were only at the fourth point, and I hadn’t remained silent on any of them. I’m naturally curious. I like to know the why and how.

- Each student is here for specific reasons... Excessive drug use, family problems, or simply

behavioral issues, for example. -

I felt concerned about all the points she just mentioned. It was impressive. Had she already figured me out? It’s very likely, but I don’t see how.

-  The problems are the same for all students?

-  Mostly what I just mentioned. Why?

-  No reason... So, why no devices?

-  The purpose of being here is to solve your problems while continuing your studies. Can you understand that?

-  Hmm.

-  With this rule, we simply forbid all means of communication during the day. The goal is for you to focus on yourself and only yourself, without external pressure. This rule was more understandable than the previous one. I could have responded that I didn’t want help, but I refrained. We would enter a debate that I would surely lose. I simply nodded.

-  If I see you with something like that, I won’t hesitate to confiscate it for an indefinite period. Agreed?

-  Yeah... So, we’re allowed to use them in the room?

-  Yes, of course. This will be a rule to follow. I’m not risking losing my phone. It would mean cutting off communication with Joan and my best friend. "Next rule," she continues. "Show respect to educators," she reads from the board. "By educators, I mean the teachers, instructors, and the rest of the staff. Just because I'm in charge of you doesn’t mean you should disrespect my colleagues." I nod, not knowing what else to say. I'm not going to ask for the reasons behind this rule. "And no lateness will be tolerated. Be on time in the morning, when I give you an appointment, or even in class. Teachers have been instructed not to let you in if you're late. You’ll be sent straight to me."

"And I imagine I’ll have a hard time?"

"You'll find out soon enough if it happens. Also, I want you to behave in class. Don’t be cheeky, don’t fall asleep, and avoid excessive chatting. Try to show interest and participate."

"That’s going to be hard..."

"I'm serious, Ona. I'll be aware of your behavior in class and I’ll step in if it gets out of hand. I'm going to make sure you get through this year."

"Good luck with that."

"At least avoid getting expelled. You’d seriously piss me off if that happens and that won't be good for you."

"OK." She looks at the board one last time, making sure she's covered all the points.

"Well, I’ve said what I needed to say. Outside of class, you have free rein. The only exception is when I ask you to be with me. Is that clear?"

"Yeah, I guess. Wake-up, check-in, curfew, no lateness or disrespect," I summarize. "Perfect. Now, I believe you have a task waiting for you."

She points her thumb at the communal showers. I sigh heavily, having forgotten about that detail amidst everything else.

"Does every sanction mean a punishment?" I ask.

"Exactly. This morning you were late and you talked back to me," she states. "You can try anything behind my back, nothing will escape me."

Leah has taught me a lot about her, including this detail, which doesn’t surprise me. I pick up the sponge lying on the floor with tongs. In the end, I'd rather have yesterday’s punishment. This one is pure humiliation. Especially since Bronze sits on the bench, right in front of the showers to have a perfect view.

"She’s not going to eat you," she comments. "Come on, start, I don’t plan on staying here all night." "You really have no pity." "I’m not here to have pity, Ona."

She takes a book from the bench, which she had probably prepared, and starts reading. I pick up the gloves from the floor since I’m not even allowed to use a mop for cleaning. I put them on and dip the sponge in the soapy water. I start with the stalls, where the lime scale is clearly visible on the matte black glass. I try as best as I can to scrub the top of the first stall with my small stature. I have to jump to reach it. I grumble mentally to avoid giving my supervisor the satisfaction of hearing me complain aloud. I manage to finish two stalls in half an hour. It’s far from perfect, but I want to finish the other eight and the floor as quickly as possible. I’m already exhausted. I take a break to relieve my thighs, which are already aching. Not to mention my arms, given the intensity I’m putting into it. I glance at Bronze, who remains absorbed in her book.

"Stop daydreaming, Ona."

How does she manage to see me without looking up? I sigh and get back to work. If someone had told me one day I’d be on all fours scrubbing the floor of a communal shower, I’d have laughed in their face. I hate Bronze for making me go through this.

"You know, if you followed the rules, I wouldn’t punish you." "Sorry, but rules and I aren’t very good friends," I grumble. "Then you only have yourself to blame for your punishments." "And you too since you’re the one inflicting them on me."

"I’m just doing my job," she replies, closing her book. "Let me tell you something. The less effort you make to follow the rules, the more I’ll be on your back. We can continue like this until the end of the year if necessary."

"What?!"

I straighten up on my knees at this news. I wipe my forehead with my arm, which is dripping with sweat from scrubbing so hard.

"What do you mean, until the end of the year? I was told this was only temporary until I adapted!"

"Not exactly. I’ll be your supervisor until your behavior changes. Given the hothead you are, we’re far from that."

"What a joke!" I spit bitterly, getting back to work. "You’re right, I’m not going to change. I don’t even plan on staying here."

"And where do you plan on going?" she asks, curious.

"Far from this crappy school, far from this town, and especially far from people who won’t leave me alone!"

"That’s going to be complicated. You’re not going anywhere with me." "We’ll see about that. I’m not following your rules, Bronze. I’m not like all those other students."

"You’re not going anywhere. I’ll make sure to help you whether you want it or not. After this experience, I guarantee you won’t be that little daddy’s princess who can do whatever she wants anymore."

"Damn it, you don’t even know me!" I yell, throwing my sponge at her face. "I don’t want your damn help, so leave me alone! It’s precisely people like you I want to get away from!"

I can’t control my anger after she touched the one point she shouldn’t have. Her eyes remain closed from the impact of the sponge. I’ll probably pay for this, but I don’t care. It was the last straw, the one thing not to say. If she wanted to affect me, she succeeded! She slowly opens her eyes.

"Pick it up." "I’m not your dog, damn it!"

I throw the gloves next to the bucket and leave the room to avoid confrontation. She can go to hell with her damn rules! She chases me down the hall, calling my name, but I keep going. I surprisingly find the exit without getting lost. I barely have time to accelerate and touch the handle before I’m pinned against the door roughly. She blocks all my movements with her body and pins my wrists on either side of my head. I struggle with rage, but she perfectly channels my strength.

"Let go of me!" "No. Stop fighting back," she says calmly.

I keep moving as much as I can under her grip, which I hate. She has no right to touch me; I don’t want her to! Yet she tightens her hold to completely stop my movements. I press my forehead against the door, closing my eyes to calm down. I must not have a panic attack here. Once I’ve calmed down, she grabs my arm and drags me back to the locker room. She pushes me inside and locks the door.

"Get back to work. We’ll leave here when I decide," she says, resuming her place.

I don’t understand how she can stay so calm while I’m a volcano on the brink of eruption. If I wasn’t sure before, I now know I hate this girl.

Wednesday, October 7th; 8:05 PM - Ona and Alexia's Room

I slam the door of my room without holding back. I'm relieved to find it empty. We're two hours away from curfew. Alexia must be in the common room with the others. If it's like yesterday, I have about an hour before she returns. I'm feeling really down since my interaction with Bronze. I didn't even go to eat, even though she allowed me to. I just needed to be alone. She drained me physically and mentally. I'm dirty and wet from crawling on the floor. It took me four hours to clean everything. Bronze stopped me at some point. The result was far from perfect, but she seemed satisfied that I finished. Now, I plan to decompress under hot water and get to bed. I find a pj set consisting of a t-shirt and shorts, and then I lock myself in the bathroom. Once my shower is finished, I slip under the covers. I'm exhausted and on edge. I think it's the right time to call my best friend. I've left her without news since my arrival. It was hard to reach her because I was never alone since I got here. Not to mention there's a one-hour time difference with Barcelona. I really need to talk to her right now. I miss her more than I thought. I take my phone from the nightstand and dial her number.

"Hello?" "Hey, Mapi."

"Oh my God, it's about time!" she says on the other end. "I thought they took your phone or something," she quickly replies.

"Sorry for not calling sooner," I chuckle. "Are you okay? Your voice sounds strange."

I'm so emotional and exhausted that I can't hold back the tears running down my cheeks against my will. It had to come out when I was on the phone with the person who knows me best.

"Yes, yes...," I say, wiping my cheeks. "Let's just say my mom really outdid herself this time."

"That bad? You don't like Manchester ? It's supposed to be a beautiful city." "Believe me, there's nothing to envy. It's been raining all the time so far."

"Well, it's definitely not Barcelona ! Come on, tell Auntie Mapi everything. You don't sound well. Is your new school nice?"

"It's a military school, Maps. Well, it's a private school with instructor supervision."

« Ouch, your mom really went all out this time... How did she get you in there? Isn't it supposed to be restricted?"

"The principal is a friend of my mom's," I sigh. "It's hell!"

I pour out the start of my new life to relieve myself. Mapi is like a sister to me. She regularly comes to my house and knows my mom well, who is also her doctor. I know she appreciates her, unlike me, but she always listens attentively when I criticize her, like now. She will always be there for me, and I'll never be grateful enough for everything she does for me. She's pulled me out of the water more than once when I was drowning.

"I have a little soldier on my back. You can't imagine the horror!" "A little soldier?" she laughs. "What's that all about?"

"A supervisor or something until I adapt. I have the worst instructor in the camp, apparently. A real viper! In two days, she's already managed to punish me twice!"

"The great Batlle punished? I would've loved to see that!" she giggles. "Is she at least good- looking?"

Mapi's question doesn't surprise me. From the moment we met, she declared loudly that she was a lesbian. She loves women... I mean she LOVES woman. We met in our first year of high school. She joined my class in the middle of the year and sat next to me. We hit it off immediately, and she quickly started flirting with me. I brushed her off, but I quickly grew attached to her unique personality. Within two months, she had turned all my convictions upside down. She was touchy and insistent. She made me doubt my sexuality. I ended up giving her a chance. It took her two months to become my first and only girlfriend for two years. It was my longest relationship. Today, we're best friends with a very close bond. She's the only one I truly trust. She's my only confidante, and I'm sure she won't judge me. That's why I'm not afraid to tell her what I think at this moment, even though I hate to admit it out loud.

"Brown hair, green eyes, taller than me. She's young and quite charming. I’d say she's twenty-five. She's pretty sexy in her uniform, but her personality ruins everything."

"Wow... She's totally your type!" she teases. "Did you hear the rest? She's a real tyrant! She's making my life impossible, damn it." "Have you thought about a counter-attack?" "Of course, she's going to regret it!" I say, making her laugh.

As I expected, our conversation turns to revenge ideas. Mapi has a wild imagination for this kind of thing. When we've covered everything, we switch to the latest gossip I've missed in Spain. Our call

ends a quarter of an hour later since it's late for her, and she has class tomorrow. I was lucky to reach her so late. Our conversation did me good. She managed to take my mind off things, as I hoped. I put my phone away and decide not to wait for curfew to fall asleep. I turn off all the lights and settle comfortably in my bed so that the door is behind me, to avoid being disturbed by Ale's arrival later. It doesn't take long for me to fall into a deep sleep.

[heartrobynn]

01. “The start of nothing.”

I ask everyone who interacts with this account to educate themselves, support, and donate to Palestine.

Please click to support Palestine, won’t take more than 20 seconds.

Author note: This is my first fanfic I’ve ever made, so if this is really butt I apologize on my behalf! 😥 I’d also really appreciate it if given criticism, so I can try to improve my writing!! Honestly, I was gonna scrap this because I hate how it turned out, but I would’ve felt bad since people were excited for it.

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Word count: 1.6k

“BUZZ!! BUZZ!!”, the bulky alarm clock that sits on your nightstand sang. Mumbles escaped your lips as you slowly started to awaken from your slumber. Getting irritated from the repetitive siren, you forced yourself up and unplugged the whole device. “Fucking hell.”, you mumbled to yourself, already knowing today was gonna be a long day. Every semester, everyone’s schedule gets changed because you’re required to take 4 classes each semester, unless you have release time. Last Friday, everyone got their schedule and you came to find out you have no classes with your two closest friends, Arianna and Maia. Which you were really annoyed about because you don’t really talk to anyone else. (But hey, at least you guys have lunch with each other!!) It’s not even like you cannot make friends, you just kinda choose not to, better to keep your friend group small anyways. 

After staring into the abyss for 5 minutes, trying to gain your consciousness, you decided to do something productive and hopped in the shower. After refreshing yourself for the day, you decided to wear an oversized, multi neutral color sweater and some dull colored jeans that weren’t your exact size, but not exactly over sized either. You added some jewels to your fit, so you looked less dead. Not having the energy to put on your usual makeup routine, you decided to apply mascara to your lashes and wore your favorite lip combo. After you were satisfied by how you looked, you grabbed your headphones and headed down stairs. 

“Morning sleeping beauty, how was your sleep last night?”, voice coming from the man sitting down on the table chair, reading the latest newspaper like the old man he is. “Morning papa! My sleep was decent, wished I could’ve slept in though.”, you sigh as you’re putting on your UNIF Phoebes. “You know what happened last time I let you stay home, don’t need your mother being pissy towards me.”, your father opened his mouth to add on, but decided not to say anything else at the last second. You shift around in the kitchen, grabbing the chicken wrap you made last night and a bottle of water. Walking to the door to grab your book bag and stuffing all your items necessary for the day in it, “Alright, I’m leaving now. Stay safe, love you!”, you walk out the door to see Adrianna and Maia waiting for you.

You enter the back seat of the jet black Toyota Corolla, which belonged to Adrianna. As you enter the car, your ears immediately get blasted by the lyrics coming from the aux, however since it’s Window Seat by Erykah Badu, it's a valid excuse to be blasting music that loud at 7:15. “Hey boo, you look so adorbs today!”, your effortlessly pretty friend, Maia, tells you while staring at you through the rearview mirror. “Thanks my love, feel so shitty today, so that made me feel a little better”, you groan as you start to slouch in the car seat, dreading the fact y’all would be arriving at school in the next 10 minutes. Adrianna giggles at you, you were always the dramatic one out of the trio, “Trust and believe that you can last 3 periods without us until lunch. Plus, you could use this as an opportunity to get to know more people!” Maia nods her head agreeing with Adrianna. Even though you have Maia and Adrianna, your friends really were persistent in you meeting new people, especially since this was y’all last year, they just didn’t want you regretting missing out on so many opportunities. “Sighhh, I guess I could.”, you continue to slouch in the car seat, while Adrianna starts singing her own adlibs (that she swears up and down eats) and Maia groans in annoyance because she's gonna go crazy if Adrianna continues singing.

The first day with your renewed schedule wasn’t all that bad, but wasn’t interesting either. Well, not until your third period class. Your first period was Spanish IV, you sat in the back so you won’t gather much of your teacher’s attention later in the year. Even though you enjoyed learning Spanish, you hated when your previous Spanish teachers would randomly pick on you to read out a question or sentence they had on the board. Although, as you were seated in the back of the classroom, you noticed a certain auburn hair colored girl, she really only caught your eye because she was fast asleep during the little icebreakers your teacher showcased on the board. She was so into her sleep that you almost envied her, wishing you could sleep just like a newborn baby who just got breastfed just like she was. You whipped out your phone, not wanting to look like a creep for staring so hard and scrolled through r/AITA thread until class ended. 

When the period ended, you and your friends met up with each other so y'all could walk each other to class, even if y'all had to go separate ways. “Bro there’s this girl in my class and I swear she’s the love of my life.”, Adrianna dreamily sighs thinking about the girl’s captivating beauty and her alluring smile, while you and Maia give her the stankest side eye. “Babes.., this is like the 3rd girl you swore was the love of your life in the past 2 weeks.” Adrianna redirected her attention to Maia while you added on, “no actually, and then they be the most vile looking creatures I’ve seen.”, Adrianna rolled her eyes at the both of you raining on her parade, “Why can’t y'all ever support me? If I wanna fall in love with every woman I meet, y'all supposed to be my best wingmen.” Adrianna playfully argued with the both of y'all before the warning bell rudely interrupted. “Oh shit, we gotta go. I’m not tryna get caught up in the hall sweep again.” All three of y'all quickly scattered as y'all said your goodbyes, thankfully your class was nearby, so you weren’t late!

You walked into your calculus I class, only to find there was one seat left and it was right in the front too. You already knew you were gonna despise this class, as you sat down in the seat, your teacher began to pass out papers to the class, “To those who just walked in, I’m passing out a review paper of different pre-calculus problems to refresh your memories for next class because we’ll be getting straight into the lesson.” Students around the classroom mumbling and groaning in annoyance, all you can do is just sit in silence as you’re about to fall into your inevitable doom. Your teacher hands your own paper, you look at the first question, only to find out you’re completely cooked.

After that abominable second period, you decided to go straight to your AP Physics class rather than hanging out with your friends during the passing period because you wanted to have the opportunity to pick your seat without being limited. However, that wish got immediately crushed when you walked in the classroom just to see assign seats displayed on the board, “are you fucking serious right now.” you think to yourself trying not to crash out in the middle of class. You look at the name of the girl who sat right next to you, Abigail Anderson. You’ve heard good and bad things about the girl, but you didn’t know her yourself personally, so you didn’t really have your own opinion on her. You looked away from the board scanning the room to find y’all seats, only to see the muscular girl on her phone, paying no attention to her surroundings. You sat next to her feeling really awkward, especially since she didn’t even look up at you to acknowledge your presence. 

As the bell rings, your teacher starts to explain the reason why she has y’all in assign seats. Your seatmate is your assigned partner for any class work y’all have if it requires it and completing the study guides with each other, since the curriculum cannot be fully covered in class,  you and your partner are responsible for teaching it among yourselves. You quietly celebrate in your head, relieved from the awkwardness from having to find your own partner. However, that relief is short-lived as your partner, Abby, raises her hand up, drawing the teacher’s attention. “Is there an issue, Ms. Anderson?” Your teacher asks as she views her clipboard to make sure she addressed the girl's name correctly. “Are we allowed to request a new partner?”, right then and there, a surge of embarrassment washes over you completely. “Unfortunately no, In the real world you’re gonna have to work with people you don’t want to or don’t know, so you need to get prepared for that starting now!”, your teacher firmly says. You catch a scoff and a muttered remark from Abby, being reluctant about working with you. Normally, you’d let shit slide, but today your mouth moves before you can stop. “Alright, now you’re doing entirely too fucking much, acting like I desperately wanna work with you or something.”, Abby turns her head to face you, giving you an insulting gaze before opening her obnoxious ass mouth to speak again. “Not my fault you look like an insufferable person, I personally don’t wanna work with someone who’s gonna cause me headaches.”, as she continued to speak, the more agitated you were getting, how is she gonna label you as an insufferable person when she doesn’t even fucking know shit about you?? Fuming with frustration, you're about to respond when the teacher intervenes, “Alright ladies, calm down. I don’t need any of that happening in my class, if y’all have problems with each other y’all can solve that on your own time. Anyways back to what I said previously...” As the tension eases, your teacher returns to her lesson, though the uneasy atmosphere lingers in the air. Throughout the remainder of class, your mind could only focus on the things Abby said, unable to shake the irritation she caused. 

part 02. ??

Taglist:

@elliesactualgirlfriend @desireesfics

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

a returning will to work

think i'm going to start putting pics that match my mood with my posts from now on!

28th august 2024

day 3/50 - productivity challenge

🕒 7:00 a.m.

slept very less yesterday but still planned to wake up really early to study psychology and prepare for my seminar. well i ended up turning off my alarm and sleeping in till 7 lol.

morning skincare

had two continuous p.e. periods today so i made up my mind to prepare for the seminar in that time (i either study in the library or play chess with my friend in p.e. periods anyway, very rare cases of badminton in the ground floor grass area that we like to call the "quadrangle") BUT after our short snacks break, we were ushered out to walk to a small seminar hall in some college building (my school is part of an entire campus of educational + medical institutions; my school, colleges for various fields, and medical hospitals are located within the campus, along with small shops & restaurants). grades 10-12 had a seminar on stress management presented by someone from the psychiatry department from the main hospital. to put it lightly, it was utter nonsense and i almost fell asleep. i don't like to complain (but i do, a lot) but the gist of what was said was: if you're stressed, just don't worry about the stressor. like what??? but i missed half of psychology class, found out it wasn't my turn to present luckily, the other two students were absent, and someone else has to present tomorrow. thank god because i am not prepared!!

studied psychology: ch-1: what is psychology

i promise that once i complete this chapter i'm going to be much faster 😭 the first is always so difficult for me to get through

completed chemistry lab record

got back home and rotted away. for hours ugh. somehow pinterest got through to me and got me inspired and up to tackle the few remaining hours. only on wednesdays i have a full day of classes so i was extremely tired.

extended duolingo streak

practiced playing keyboard 🎹

learnt a whole damn chorus with both hands and it's a sign of progress so i'm so damn proud ahhh

planned for the rest of the week (i have a LOT to do, well i don't have to but i owe it to my own plans and my hopes for the future)

took headbath

read newspaper

did an exercise video (focused on flexibility so no sweat)

studied psychology ch-1: what is psychology?

yes indeed, i finally completed studying this.

studied psychology ch-6: human memory

jumped to this chapter to help prepare for the presentation/seminar. didn't study it fully though.

🕒 2:00 a.m.

probably idk, i'm posting this early cuz my mom is gonna cut the wifi

all pics from pinterest

[pinkcannibal]

Could I request a Marilyn Thornhill x Reader, where reader is having a really terrible day because a series of horrible stuff keeps happening to Reader (For example reader's class work goes mising, her friend stands her up, something spills on reader's outfit and so on). Reader just ends up hiding in her room for the rest of the day. Marilyn notices that reader is missing, she goes to check on reader. Reader kind of jokes that she might be curse and that Marilyn should avoid her. Of course Marilyn doesn't like hearing that. So she does what she can to help reader feel better (I'll leave what kind of relationship Reader and Marilyn have up to you).

a/n so sorry for the wait! i promise im not ignoring requests just needing to find time to write them :) just wanna say as per most of my fics or requests reader is a student and 20. for this prompt its pre relationship. if you’re familiar with my writing i write marilyn not as laurel gates, but having laurel gates uhhh tendencies? so if requested otherwise that's her characterisation, i do also write for canon laurel gates!

-

title: it'll all work out

pairings: marilyn thornhill x fem!reader

tw/warnings: none kinda! just fluff, comfort, and mild panic attacks

summary: you can't cope with the intense wave of what the day throws at you, skyrocketing you into anxiety. and taking comfort in miss thornhill is the only thing that brings you back down

word count: 2160

requests: open!

It starts out like this.  

This morning, you slept through your alarm and were late for your Wiccan History class; so late you may as well not have showed up. And no attempt of explaining your situation stopped you from being handed a detention slip from your teacher- your ears burned in embarrassment at the action.

Then, two hours later, Wednesday made a seemingly inoffensive comment about your class work during a dissection and it was the way she said it that made you feel like all your hard work was actually unintelligent, uninspiring, and not worth handing in. And to top it all off, on the way to lunch, a tall, imposing fur accidentally bumped into you and you dropped your phone; cracking it right down the middle and making tears burn behind your eyelids when you picked it up because today sucks and nothing’s gone right and it times like this you wonder why you ever enrolled in this academy in the first place.  

Then it all comes fucking crashing down because when you finally, finally make it to your table, Enid reaches across the way with all her usual exuberance and excitement because her girlfriend Wednesday sits down across from her and she- 

Enid gasps, eyes wide and panicked as her thermos filled with hot coffee pours over the table and across to you. It soaks the class notes you were working on, just melting the ink of 4000 words from Botony class that you were slaving over and you immediately jump up, lips parting in shock as you move back from the liquid.

But it scalds your uniform, your skirt, and barely misses your thighs and you don’t even realise your eyes are being overcome with fresh tears until Enid exclaims.  

“Oh my god I’m so so sorry!” Enid rushes out, reaching out and picking up her thermos before it can go any further. Wednesday next to her widens her eyes, shuffling over slightly as it drips through the cracks in the table. 

You snap out of your shock, making a noise of panicked frustration.

“No, no no no shit-” You hiss, picking up the ruined essay and immediately dropping it at the temperature. But the damage is done, and you make this tiny noise that sounds like a pained whimper when you squeeze your eyes shut and run your hands through your hair, resigning to all that work being ruined. You bite your lip, so hard you want to taste blood. 

Enid, wide eyed and apologetic, looks like a kicked puppy at the mess she accidentally caused. “I-I am so sorry. Seriously, I was just-” 

A tear falls down your cheek. Fuck, could this day get worse?  

“It’s o-okay, Enid, you didn’t mean to.” You breathe out, trying to reign in your distraught panic attack that’s looming. The rest of the table, Yoko and Divina, look at you with matching pitying looks.   You flush and gather your things, unable to stomach their concern that feels like acid in your belly.  

“Um, look, I’ll see you guys later?” You rush to say, breath becoming laboured. “I just, I n-need to-” 

“Hey,” Yoko softly interjects. “Really, it’s okay, do you want one of us to come with you?” 

You shake your head, clutching your laptop and ruined notes that don’t matter anymore to your heaving chest. “No,” You blurt, pressing your lips together apologetically, then retrying. “No, I’m okay. I’ll um, I’ll see you guys at recess.”  

You leave quickly, the anxiety building and building so quickly you feel like you’re going to cry if someone so much as touches you. Your throat bobs on a sob wanting to escape, and you rush to your dorm and on the way scrunch up the essay in your hands and throw it in a nearby trash can and so distracted by your impending panic you don’t look up until it’s too late.  

You bump hard into someone, gasping and losing your footing immediately. You don’t hit the ground or fall, because two warm, comforting hands are righting you at your biceps and steadying your feet. “Fuck, sorry I-”  

When you look up, you blush, because- 

“Oh dear, are you okay?” Miss Thornhill breathes out, startled by the bump but covering it up with a polite smile that has your knees just, instantly weak. She’s wearing that green coat and red boots; she smells like the earth and rain and something so comforting you warm.  

Her hands haven’t left your arms and you feel even more unsteady and now because she’s here you feel like crying all over again.  

“Are you okay, honey?” She says, this little concerned furrow of her brows thrown your way and you part your lips trying to say something, but your eyes are glassy with tears and she called you honey, and you feel all melty and gooey inside.  

“Gosh,” She says, righting her glasses from the knock and softly chuckling. “I didn’t see you, I’m so sorry, you just came out of no-” 

“I-I’m okay,” You say softly, shifting on your feet. You watch Marilyn tilt her head worriedly at your shaking voice, and almost as if realising her touch, she delicately removes her hands, placing them in her coat pockets instead. You blush with how much you want them back on you.  

“Sorry,” You smile back slightly, clearing your throat. “I didn’t see you either. I’m just...super late for my next class.” 

You try and lie to save face, because you’re three seconds away from bawling your eyes out, but Miss Thornhill does this adorable scrunch of her nose, checking the inside of her wrist for her watch as she frowns.  

“Is that so?” She chuckles out endearingly, looking back up to you and sending you a raised eyebrow. “Your next class is mine, funny enough. If anything, you’re half an hour early.” 

“Oh,” You blush, stuttering as you realise the hole you dug. Marilyn sends you an amused look as you flounder. Then everything just- falls into you. The detention. Wednesday’s comment. Your phone. Your essay. The anxiety. And how just one concerned look from Miss Thornhill has you feeling like splitting at the seams.  

“I-I uh, must have gotten my timetable mixed up?” Then you sniff and bring your blazer sleeve up to your nose, shutting your eyes in mortification as your throat bobs and you whine on a cry. “Shit, s-sorry I just- I can’t-” 

“Oh, dear.” Marilyn breathes out in sympathy, watching you crumble inside of yourself and choke on a cry that bubbles past your lips. You can’t look at her, wiping at your eyes in frustration as you cry in the middle of the hall to the other woman like some pathetic child.  

“Sweetie,” She says softly, full of so much care and concern that you look up and flush red at how her hazel eyes are the most gentle you’ve ever seen them.  

Then she’s placing her hand at the small of your back, hushing you sweetly. “Are you okay?” She says kindly. 

You bite your lip, swallowing thickly as more tears escape. You shake your head, too vulnerable for words as you tighten your laptop and books in your grip against your stomach.  

Marilyn notices the reaction, eyebrows furrowing in worry.  

“Okay, you’re okay,” She says, coaxing and warm, and your neck goes red at the tone. “Do you want to talk about it? We can go to my classroom, it’s nice and quiet there, would that be okay?” 

The way she asks for your consent, how loving she sounds, sends you into a space you feel dizzy in. You nod softly, doe eyes looking up through your wet eyelashes to her. “I...Yes, please.” You breathe out, filled with so much relief your heart aches, pooling and pooling when her hand rubs in soothing circles to your lower back – something that sends shivers up your spine.  

- 

Miss Thornhill makes you chamomile tea from her own garden in the conservatory, and when she hands it to you her fingers brush yours and you feel unsteady again and the tears are back then she says “You’re safe here, nothing can hurt you, sweetie. Are you okay? What happened?” and it spills from your lips like water.  

At the end of it all, Marilyn is giving you this tender look, like she’s yearning to fix everything that’s wrong; and your hands are tight around the tea mug from where you sit perched on one of the desks, shaking as you stutter and speak through your tears. 

“And then Enid, she-” You whine, a frustrated noise leaving your lips at the memory as you screw your eyes shut. “She spilled coffee on my essay for your class and it was already late because you were nice enough to give me an extension but now it’s ruined and I feel like I keep fucking up and just-”  

“Darling,” Miss Thornhill interjects softly, stepping forwards and ducking her head slightly to catch your gaze. Darling. Darling. You feel your lower belly swarm with need at the term as you blink back at her in bashfulness. The other woman then gently unwraps your hands from around the scalding tea and places it beside you.  

Instead, she takes them in her own, rubbing softly and gently into your palms as your breath hitches and cheeks warm.  

“Shh. It’s okay. Take a deep breath for me, okay?” She says warmly, and you instantly copy her as your eyes flick down to her chest, rising with a breath that calms you instantly.

“That’s it, good job, honey.” Marilyn smiles kindly to you, and the soft praise has your throat drying and stomach flipping as you look back up and bite your lip.  

“I’m so sorry that happened,” She murmurs sincerely, eyes so genuine and kind behind her glasses that you almost forget how close she is right now. She’s almost between your legs with how she holds you, and your chest picks up at the thought. “That sounds like an awful, terrible day, sweetheart.” 

Oh. Okay. You’re floating now, you’re sure of it. 

“Yeah,” You breathe out, shifting in your spot, earnestly trying to get impossibly closer to her. If Marilyn notices, she doesn’t comment, but she dosen’t move away. “It was.”

You wince then, groaning and blushing when you remember. “And I’m really, really sorry about the essay. I can get it finished tomorrow if I-” 

Miss Thornhill snorts, shaking her head in amusement at you and fixing her glasses. “Oh gosh, that’s hilarious if you think I’m worried about that.”  

You widen your eyes, tilting your head. “What?” You stammer. “But, it’s worth like, twenty percent and I’m already two weeks late.” You stress. Marilyn squeezes to your hands, softening at your words.  

“There is no way I’m making you redo it after the day you’ve had, okay sweetie?”  

You part your lips, heart so heavy with love for her it stuns you. And you don’t really know what to do other than feel tears well in your eyes again, and suddenly your chest goes weightless and you dart forwards, wrapping Miss Thornhill in a hug, arms slinging over her shoulders.  

It forces her so close to you, you almost pull back as you feel her front pressed between your legs and brushing up against your thighs - and before you can die of embarrassment at how needy for her affection you feel, Miss Thornhill is making this noise of surprise at your action, a tender “Oh,” leaving her lips that feels like cotton candy inside your lungs. 

But then her arms are wrapping back around you.  

You feel her breath hitch as you bury into the soft spot of her neck, squeezing your eyes shut and holding tight. Marilyn holds back, hands soothing up and down your back as you cling to her.  

“It’s okay,” She coos, next to your ear and making you melt. 

“You’re okay.” Marilyn says softly. “I’m here.” 

[spicywhenspeaking]

If I'm There: Chapter Nine

read from part one

Noah and Natalie meet in high school and developed a relationship through their love of music and art. Falling in love, innocent and young, they think nothing can keep them apart. However, sometimes in the pursuit of your dreams the things we love the most get left behind

warnings: mentions of alcohol abuse

As I’m scrambling to get out of bed I check my phone and see I have several missed messages. 

Kyle: you skipping today?? Tried to wake you up. 7:30am

Maggie: Hey girl ! Late bell just rang! Where are you? 8:05am

Noah: tried to catch you after 1st, did you leave class early? 9:30am

I finish throwing on my clothes tripping over my jean leg and respond to Noah’s text. 

Natalie: I just woke up. Slept through my alarm. 10:05am

Natalie: I missed my test. 10:05am

Noah: Fuck. Natty, I’m so sorry. 10:06am

Natalie: can you come get me? 10:06am

Natalie: my moms passed out. she can’t drive me. 10:08am

Noah: Of course. Give me 10 minutes, I just need to get out of Spanish real quick. 10:09am

Natalie: I had Senor Gomez last year, if you tell him you’re coming to get me maybe he’ll just let you leave. 10:09am

Noah: wow. Okay, I said it was for you and he practically shoved me out the door. 10:13am

Noah: I’m on my way. 10:15am

Noah gets to my house 15 minutes later. I missed Econ and Art but I’ll be able to make it to anatomy to turn in my project. I rush downstairs and out the front door when I get his “I’m here” text. On the drive to school Noah continues to profusely apologize for getting me home so late last night. “Noah, you didn’t do it on purpose and I’m the one that overslept. You can’t blame yourself for me not hearing my alarm.” I say, trying to calm his nerves. Despite having some frustration about what happened last night, it’s not like Noah planned for us to be stuck in traffic. “I agreed to come to the show. I knew there was a chance I might get home late. I’ll talk to my Econ teacher and maybe they’ll let me take it during my free period.” He reaches across the seat and squeezes my knee. “I should have paid more attention to the time last night, leaving so late was my fault.” I cover his hand with mine, “I forgive you Noah. I’ll talk to Mr. Mattson before I go to my anatomy class. I’m sure it will all work out.” Noah pulls into the senior parking lot and puts the car in park. Before I unbuckle my seatbelt he’s leaning over and kissing me tenderly,  “I know I’ve apologized an annoying amount but I’ll say it again. I’m really sorry Natty.” Laughing softly I kiss him back and we exit the car. Holding hands he walks me to my Econ class and we agree to meet after school so he can drive me to work. 

I walk into the class and Mr. Mattson looks up from his lunch to greet me “oh hello there Natalie, we missed you this morning. Is everything okay? Unlike you to miss class.” I run my fingers through my hair and take a deep breath. “I know, I’m so sorry for not being here this morning. I woke up with a horrible headache and just couldn’t get out of bed for a while.” A big fat lie. “ Is there any way I could make up the test?” I plead with him. “I have my last period free, could I take it then?” He thinks about it briefly before slowly nodding his head “okay, I’ll make an exception this once.” He looks up to me with a more serious look before continuing “only because you have such a high average and I’d hate for something like this to affect it.” I let loose the breath I didn’t know I was holding and feel so much relief. “Thank you so much!” 

I make my way to Anatomy and turn in my project, the rest of class goes by fast and then I head to Mr. Mattson’s class to take my test. 

After the test, I walk to where Noah and I usually meet and find him in a less than friendly looking conversation with my brother. A few people are staring and I’m hoping I can get to them before anyone throws a punch. 

“I knew you would fuck up her life somehow, you realize with out good grades she’s stuck here” Kyle fumes at Noah. I'm honestly stunned by Kyles words, does he actually care about my future? “I already talked to your sister about this Kyle and apologized to her.” Noah barks back. “ I don’t owe you any explanation. Dick” he finishes. “Fuck you Davis.” Kyle pushes Noah back harshly and I move faster to approach and step between the two. Noah is taller but Kyle is bigger and stronger. “Stop it.” I look at the two of them. “This is fucking embarrassing, both of you are acting ridiculous.” I turn to Noah “can I talk to my brother and meet you at your car?” He hesitates but then nods sharply and heads to his car and I turn to Kyle.

“I don’t understand what your weird protective bullshit is Kyle, but you lost the ground to tell people how to treat me after trying to choke me out last spring” I say and he bristles. “I apologized for that,”  He whispers harshly. “I just - you care about school, grades, making a better life for yourself and he cares about making music, becoming a rockstar. You can’t let him distract you from everything you’ve worked for.” I roll my eyes. “You barely apologize if we’re being honest and you just don’t like Noah so you don’t want me around him.” I continue, “we’re dating Kyle, not engaged to be married. You’re talking about the future like I have to decide right now. I'm happy, can I can't just be happy?”

He’s trying to even out his breathing and calm down, apparently something he’s been working on in therapy. “Okay. Fine. Be happy. For now. But I don’t want to hear your shit when it all falls apart Natalie. It will. And you’ll expect me to care because I love you.” He moves closer. “He isn’t thinking about your future sis. I know you think you’re in love and it’s all going to be sunshine and fucking rainbows.” I flinch at his tone. “But you want to go to college,you want  stability, a real fucking life. He wants to play music to thousands of adoring fans around the world. How does that work out well for you?” He’s looking into my eyes, looking through me. “It’s fun now, but you are going to get hurt.” I push him further back “screw you Kyle. Worry about your own life” I turn to walk to where Noah is waiting by his car.

I know Kyle is just trying to mess with my head. But why is it working? He’s not entirely wrong though, college has always been my plan, art school and then…well I don’t know exactly. Maybe I’d be an illustrator, graphic designer, or I could sell my prints at a farmers market until I’m 80 and live in a shack. But, why does it even matter right now? Senior year just started, we have plenty of time to figure all of that out. I must look like I’m thinking really hard because as I approach Noah’s car he says “maybe you want to give that ol’ thinker a break for the evening Natty.” He taps his own head to emphasize his point. “Just forget whatever he said, it was probably only meant to hurt you or confuse you or piss you off.” He comes over to my side and opens the door for me to climb in. “Come on, I’ll take you to work and then maybe after you could come over?” He winks and kisses me on the corner of my mouth. “Oh, it’s a tempting offer indeed.” I tease him. “We’ll see” I wink back at him. I’m obviously going over and he knows it. 

Laying down in Noahs’ bed at the end of the day,  I can't help but replay the conversation I had with Kyle after school. What would happen if I got into art school across the country? Would Noah and I try long distance? Would he follow me and play music there? I should talk to him about it. Turning over in bed to face him, I'm met with his sleeping face, snoring softly. I run my finger down the slope of his face and sigh. I guess it can wait until morning. 

But, when morning comes I’m awoken to my phone sounding off over and over with the ringtone I set for Kyle in 7th grade. “Why is the Imperial March waking us up at 7 in the morning. On a Saturday.” Noah grumbles from behind me. I grab at my phone half asleep and answer. “Hello” my sleepy voice rasps out. “Natalie-". I sit up at the sound of my brothers cracking voice on the other end. “It’s mom- she- I found her this morning.” Trying to remain calm even though my sleepy thoughts are creating the worst possible scenario. “What happened Kyle?” I managed to get out. “I thought she was asleep- well passed out but you know. I tried to move her to her room and she -“ he broke off as I hear his breath catching. It sounds like he’s coming down from a panic attack. “She what Kyle!? What happened to mom?”

love love love ya! thank you for reading!

Next chapter here!

short chapter today womp :( posting a fluffy one shot to make it up to you <3

taglist : @lma1986 @cookiesupplier @notingridslurkaccount @blackveilomens

divider from here

[densi-mber]

Purpose

A/N: Oh yes, we’re back with my favorite storyline to hate.

***

Most days, Deeks was pretty good at keeping himself distracted from his current situation as a FLETC cadet. For the most part, it involved filling every spare moment he could do he didn’t have time to consider anything else. If he was busy, if he was exhausted, then he didn’t have the time to consider the true suckiness of it all.

Then there were days like today. He’d barely slept last night after an insanely frustrating day, and today he knew he’d face more of the same. Now that their automatic biases had worn off, most of his instructors had come to like him, or at the very least, appreciate that he knew what he was doing. There were a couple though, that seemed insistent on trying to knock him down a peg whenever possible.

That usually meant setting him overly complicated tasks or calling on him with particularly difficult questions. All the while, Deeks simmered with the knowledge that he’d done this for a living for years. He didn’t need to simulate getting stuck in a car with a bomb, because he’d lived variations of that scenario a dozen times over.

When Deeks lost the positivity that most people knew him for, he did so spectacularly. His discontent turned to anger and melancholy, which quickly spiraled into a depression of sorts. Right now, he was still in the angry and unsettled state and after spending a sleepless night cooped up in his room, he needed to get out.

The campus kept a pretty strict curfew that lasted until six in the morning. As soon as it ended, Deeks hit one of the many trails surrounding the grounds. He’d become well acquainted with the dirt paths over the last several weeks between the daily mandatory runs and his own solo circuits.

The run didn’t help nearly as much as he’d hoped. Though it had depleted some of his anger, he’d also had ample time to mull over everything from the last several weeks, which didn’t improve his mood. By the time he made it back to his room, he was sore, sweaty, and still frustrated.

“Damn it,” he swore when he checked his phone just a little after 7, and found a missed call from Kensi. He called her back, but of course she didn’t answer. Spitting out a heartfelt and considerably less benign epithet, dropped onto the bed with a sigh.

Being away from Kensi might be the worst part. Aside from missing her desperately, every day he was gone, the chance that something terrible would happen increased. Kessler, some other vindictive criminal, or the usual dangers that came with their jobs.

His alarm letting him know there was 45 minutes before his first class came far too soon. He dragged himself back off the bed, and headed downstairs to the cafeteria. He through the stations on autopilot, collecting a random bowl of fruit, toast, and eggs, even though he wasn’t hungry, and chose a table as far back as possible.

“Hey Deeks,” Jake said, swinging in beside Deeks with his tray. Apparently the subtle request for space hadn’t worked. Deeks didn’t need to look to know Charlie and Omar weren’t far behind.

“Hey man.”

“We were thinking of getting in some practice at the range after ethics. You wanna join us? Give us some more tips.”

“Thanks, but I’m, uh, not really in the mood today,” Deeks told him. He fully intended to go back to his room and fall into bed the moment he finished with the day’s classes.

“Since when?” Charlie asked, digging into a pile of eggs. “Not to be rude, but you do kind of love to show off your marksmanship.”

“To be fair, he’s better than almost any other cadet. Even a couple teachers,” Omar added with a chuckle. “Don’t tell Ritcher I said that.”

“Guys, I appreciate the offer. I’m really not up to the banter right now,” Deeks snapped. There was a moment of silence, which was almost worse than the chatter.

Jake was the first to recover. “Woah. Did we do something to upset you?”

“Jake, give him some space,” Omar said softly.

“No, it’s ok.” Deeks sighed. “I’m sorry. You guys didn’t do anything. I am just…having a couple of rough days. I didn’t mean to take it out on any of you.”

“Hey, it happens, man.” Omar’s easy forgiveness almost drew a smile from Deeks. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not sure if you wanna hear me whine,” Deeks said.

“Eh, you’ve put up with trying to teach us law, we handle it,” Charlie decided, nudging Deeks shoulder. “You’ll feel better. And if you don’t, we’ll sneak in some beer.”

“Oh lord, just what I need. Contraband.” This time, Deeks actually did smile.

“So, what’s going on?” Charlie prompted again.

Sighing, Deeks tried to gather his tumultuous feelings into a cohesive thought. “Sometimes…it feels like me being here is pointless,” he started. “I mean, what am I really gaining from being here? Is a couple months of classes I don’t really need going to make a difference to either of the organizations that decided my skills are no longer or use them? I’m not helping my team. I’m certainly not supporting my team. And when this is over, I have no real guarantee that any of it will be worth it.”

He’d said more than he intended, and while it was certainly therapeutic to give a voice to his frustration, it felt like he’d provided potential ammunition.

“I disagree. You’ve made a huge difference and you do have a purpose,” Charlie argued unexpectedly. He almost looked angry, which was odd given the topic.

“How so?” Deeks asked.

Charlie gestured between himself, Omar, and Jake. “You’re looking at the evidence right here. You’ve taught us so much we never would have gotten on our own.”

“You would have been fine.”

“Maybe,” Omar said. “It would have been a lot harder. Even without the tutoring, you’ve been a mentor like no one else. You don’t judge or try to make things harder to prove a point.” He paused and looked directly at Deeks. “I know you’d rather be back with your team, and your family, but you do have a purpose here. Even if it’s not the one you expected.”

“What he said,” Jake said.

“That’s pretty smart,” Deeks murmured.

“Well, we learned from the best.”

“Thanks for the pep talk.”

“It’s only fair, you’ve given us enough of them,” Charlie reasoned. “You feel better.”

“Minutely,” Deeks said honestly.

“Well, there’s still the option for some liquid cheer.”

Shaking his head, Deeks held his hands up. “As your lawyer and a cadet, I’m removing myself from this conversation before I’m implicated in any of this.”

“Sweet, we’ve got a lawyer,” Jake said enthusiastically.

As the banter continued, Deeks sat back. He wasn’t anywhere near happy, but he supposed it did help to know his time here wasn’t completely wasted.

***

A/N: If you’re unfamiliar with Charlie, Jake, and Omar, I have a whole AU FLETC storyline for Deeks that goes much differently that the canon events.

I’ve always figured that going to FLETC with Deeks’ level of experience and skill would be quite frustrating in many ways. He’d undoubtedly taken many of the courses as continuing ed as we saw in early on in the show and learned through hands-on experience.

[jaykayfictions]

My high-school worst enemy | Park Jimin ff part 6

Summary: Park Jimin was a jerk and you hated him your entire time in high school but what happens when he isn't the asshole he appears to be?

genre: angst and fluff.

warnings: swearing, a bit of bullying and violence.

author's note: this chapter is a bit long so please bear that in mind.

Stepping into the shit hole sham of a school, you go to your locker after biding Taehyun goodbye. He dropped you off today because Jungkook had to meet Lisa very early in the morning for a breakfast date. Wondering why he isn't in school? He has a basketball game at 9:30 am. He decided to use this opportunity to spend time with his girlfriend. Jungkook is probably groping her ass in the toilet while you're here stuck in an eight hour prison.

As you walked through the hallway you could hear whispers as girls shot you nasty looks. Isn't it too early to be bitches? Why can't people just mind their business instead of caring about others' lives? You hated gossip, this is the reason why you had very few female friends. Your phone started ringing, you checked the caller's ID and saw it was Jennie. You picked the call and smiled brightly saying hello.''Hey sis!'' She squealed excitedly over the phone. "I'm going for a sleep over after school at Karina's place. Mom is dropping me there and oppa is going to Yuna unnie's place so you will be home alone with dad." The twelve year old rambled cutely.

Karina was her best friend. They acted like sisters. Your mom and Karina's mom would take them shopping and buy matching clothes for them. Karina slept over frequently and vise versa. They looked so cute together and they reminded you of you and Jungkook when you were younger. "Okay Jen, thanks for informing me, love you and enjoy your sleep over, mwah!" You said grinning. "Love ya! bye!'' She shreiked.

After ending the call you went to your Calc class. You hated where you sat. At the front. How depressing. You couldn't fall asleep without the teacher finding out. It was annoying as hell. You sat down and decided to listen for your grades' sake. Two girls entered the class taking a seat behind you. You heard one of them gasp and whisper. Well just so you know, she is terrible at it. ''Is she Taehyun's sister? I should have known, they look alike.'' "Shh, do you want her to hear you?'' The other girl scolded. Too bad you already heard. They didn't know because they never asked. How the hell did they even find out?

Gosh, people did put glass cups against the wall just to listen to gossip. Great, now you were gonna walk around school for two weeks with people looking at you and asking for your brother's number.

This was how you looked if you're wondering. Credit to owner of picture.

It was your lunch break and you weren't hungry so you decided to go to the rooftop. You sat on the floor with your knees to your chest. You put on your headphones and played some calm songs from your playlist. "Coo ooh ooh ooh ool with you." You sang along feeling sad for no reason. You chose to read a book to burn time. Your alarm rang indicating that your lunch time was over. It was time for Science. Oh no. It's just one lesson right? You can do this. You said to yourself missing Jungkook's presence badly.

You made your way towards the classroom, greeting Mr Cha when you got in before taking your seat at the back. You loved Science because it was interesting to you and also because of where you sat. Shortly after Jimin came in as well. Did he really hit his head on something? He really is attending all his classes early. How strange. Seeing him also caused you to wonder why he liked your post on Instagram. Didn't he hate you? Maybe you were just the one who disliked him. Halfway through the lesson, you saw a small note land on your table. 'Meet me after school.' Why would he want to meet you to meet him after school? This was definitely a prank.

Mr. Cha reminds of your project and you groan internally. Is that why Jimin sent that note? Hell nah, he doesn't give a shit about school work does he? while packing up, you turn to Jimin and say "Don't worry about the project, I'll do it alone." "It's a lot of work, are you sure about that?" He asked in amusement. You fought the urge to groan out loud because you knew he was right. You tried convincing Mr Cha to change your partner but he wasn't having it. "You need to learn to socialize." He had said completely oblivious to the fact that he had paired you with your enemy. You stepped out of the class leaving Jimin's question unanswered.

The school bell rang telling everyone school was officially over. Students rushed out of their classes determined to leave school. Finally, you were escaping boredom. You were walking home today. Jungkook needed to rest after his packed schedule so he was taking the bus home since his car was broken. You chose to walk as a form of exercise since you've been sitting with a cramped butt and an aching back for the past hour. While walking a car stopped next you. You turned to your side and the driver winded his window down. It was Jimin, was he really serious? The note wasn't a prank? Damn it.

"What do you want?" You asked not in the mood to bicker. He arched a brow ''We have a project to complete, don't we?" He asked as if stating the obvious. Shit. You forgot. "Hop on, I'll drive you to a place we can start it." He said slightly tilting his head to the passenger's seat. Oh. You were taken aback by this.

Was he really offering you a ride? Wasn't he an arrogant jerk? You were gonna be bored at home anyway and the sooner it was started the quicker it would be completed. You walked over to the other side and opened the car door. You got into the car and looked at the scenery through the window as he was driving. The roads were pretty. It had lilies, roses and sunflowers. The silence was oddly comfortable. Weird. The car came to a stop, you were at the so called 'place.' You stepped out of the car and looked up. Oh. My. Gosh. It was massive. The house was HUGE!! "You live here?" You asked asked with wide eyes. You weren't born into a rich family but your family owed no debt and was stable finanncialy.

"Of course I do! Where else did you expect me to take you to?" He snorted. "What a show off." You scoffed. " Maybe a coffee shop or something. Not sure but definitely not your house." You answered rolling your eyes. ''Will you let me show you the way in or do you want to keep rolling your eyes till they get stuck behind your head?" He asked, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Fine." You muttered under your breath. When you got in your mouth and eyes widened in shock. You gaped at the sight of the living room. Damn, you felt broke. It was large and some walls were stripped vertically in black and white while some walls were plain black and white. Gold was everywhere, on the dinning table and chairs, The center table, it was everywhere. The photo frames on the sixty inches TV stand showcased the pictures of his family but one caught your attention. It was a photo of Jimin in a playground, he looked around the age of seven. He was grinning so wide his eyes were barely visible.

He looked happy, you've never seen him smile or grin like that before. There weren't many picture but you saw Rosè in two. How the hell did he know her? You bear that in mind for later. You came here to complete a science project. Focus. An elderly woman approached you both, she had a warm smile on her face. You assumed she was the senior cook. "Good afternoon Ahjumma, this is Y/N, my science project partner, you and all the maids can retire from the kitchen today." Your eyes popped out like sockets. The fuck. He really said Ahjumma. You had expected him to call her by her name. He even smiled warmly. Is this Park Jimin? The lady looked and you and her smile widened. "You are very pretty." you flushed from the compliment. She turned to Jimin and said " I will inform the maids." She bowed before leaving.

Jimin had shown you the way to his room. When you were in his room he asked. " What would you like to eat?'' What? Were your ears working? What the fuck is going on with him today?! "Stop looking at me like I said Beauty and the Beast is real, you are my guest and it's rude for me to not offer you anything." "You cook?" You asked genuinely surprised. "So you mean after all I have said you only figured I cooked? I'm an asshole but I was taught manners, so answer my question seriously this time. What would you like to eat?" He asked again.

"Umm, Jajangmyeon is okay." You said pretending to think. "Really. Just Jajangmyeon, you don't need anything else?" He asked slowly just to make sure. "Yes, just Jajangmyeon." When he left you used the opportunity to explore his room. It was huge but surprisingly vague. It wasn't full of flashy colors just grey, black and white. It had a few posters of famous basketball players and a shirt signed by one, you couldn't identify who, you weren't really into basketball. There was a walk in closet and a basketball hoop attached to the wall. His king sized bed was layed neatly and his PC and game controller rested on his desk.

He really was the opposite of what you had expected. No shit but he had the worst first impression. When he came back with the Jajangmyeon you had to stop yourself from drooling. The aroma hit your nose making you hungrier than you already were. You sat at his desk at the corner of his room. He took a seat beside you, handing the plate of food over to you. You take a bite and moan at the taste. It. Was. Delicious.

"So how is it?" Jimin asked curious. Was he kidding right now? It tasted amazing. "It's so good!" You say eating more. "Who would have known you were such a good cook?" You continued. "Oh baby, there are a lot of things you don't know about me."He said with his famous smirk. You cringed. "Don't call me that." You whined causing him to chuckle "And who knew you were so easy to tease?" He retorted playfully. "I still hate you!" You said half joking. "I know, look, it was fucked up, I was- I still am fucked up." He sighs. "It was a dick move and I'm sorry."

You. Were. SHOCKED. He apologized? All the times he'd poke and annoy you during lessons just because he sat behind you were all forgotten and all the hate you had for him had vanished. It felt like you already forgave him and you just couldn't forget it. "Wow, the great 'Park Jimin' invited me over, makes me Jajangmyeon and is apologizing for something he did two years ago! I really am lucky" You said teasingly.

His sigh deepens. ''I know it's late but-" You cut him off "I forgive you." "Really?" He asked shocked, probably at the fact that it was that easy. ''Look I was a bitch for hating you so long for something like that and you were a dick for what you did, I apologize, you better accept it." He laughs and throws his back at what you said but turns serious again. "You did nothing wrong, you had every right to hate me and yeah I forgive you, even though you did nothing." He said causing you to crack a smile he also mirrors.

"So umm friends?" He asked a bit sheepish. Your eyes were deceiving you right? "Friends." "Hey give me a hand shake!" Jimin said acting offended. "Oh you wish!" You snorted even though you were already shaking his soft hands. "So, do we start the science project now?" He asked. "Wait! After i finish this jajangmyeon!" You said devouring the food again. "Sure." This was how your worst enemy became your friend. The real life example of the quote "Do not judge a book by it's cover." It just made sense to you now. You spent your time doing the project while teasing, laughing and joking around like crazy. Jimin was actually extremely smart. He just needed a little push.

You were halfway done and hella tired when Jimin asked an unexpected question. "Umm, I don't mean to invade your personal life but I can't help but ask. Was the guy you hugged at the event your boyfriend?" You blinked twice utterly confused before laughing. ''Boyfriend? no way, I've been practically single my whole life. That was my brother Taehyun." "Oh, I was just asking 'cause people said so- not like I care, right?" He rambled and you found it cute. Was that why he seemed angry that day? He said he didn't care so you payed no mind to it.

You decided to tease him a little. "Jealous?" You asked arching a brow. He turned a bit pink. Jesus fucking Christ. The bad boy Jimin, the basketball icon of the school actually blushed. He really was full of surprises. "No! Of course not!" He panicked yet his pink face said otherwise. "Besides, he has a girlfriend, her name's Yuna." "Oh." He replied still not fully convinced. His eyebrows were still scrunched in confusion and he had a broody expression on his face, almost as if he still wanted to ask you a question. You decided to make his life easier. ''Go on, tell me what you're thinking about." You said casually and his eyes were as wide as saucers. How the hell did you know? Was he being so obvious or was he just too easy to read?

"What about Jungkook? I mean you both seem close, like the kind of close that people wonder if you both ever dated." He says flushing in embarrassment. Gosh, he sounded so stupid. "Nah. His girlfriend is Lisa, we're that close 'cause we were friends since we were in diapers.'' You answer nonchalantly completely oblivious about his situation. "Really? Which Lisa?" "Lisa Manoban of course, which other Lisa do we know?" He was shocked, his eyes were definitely gonna pop out if he kept gaping. "You mean Lisa Manoban, the volleyball player?" "Which other volleyball player do we know that's named Lisa?" You asked genuinely confused at his confusion and surprise.

"She's my sister's bestfriend and she doesn't know. Oh hell no! This shit is messed up. Even the guys don't know. Crazy.'' He exclaimed. Wait. He has a sister? This time it was you gaping."You have a sister?" He smiled softly as if remembering something special. You found his reaction lovely. Their bond was definitely strong. "Yeah, Rosè, she's Lisa's bestie and they go to the same school." ''No wonder.'' You said voicing your thoughts aloud. ''Well the pictures downstairs were proof of that." Jimin said stating a fact. You were so stupid. You connected the dots and it all made sense.

''She's my friend as well, I'm the only one who knows about Jungkook and Lisa so you better keep this between us, okay?" "Sure." He said pretending to seal his mouth by smacking his thumb and index finger before swiping it across his lips. "Wow! Loads of secrets uncovered in one night,oh shoot! Time's gone. I think you should get going, we can complete this tomorrow or the day after." Jimin said. "If you say so." You mumbled, packing your things in your bag before biding him goodbye. You went home and had luckily sent a text to your dad saying you will be late. Maybe. Just maybe Park Jimin wasn't as bad as you thought he was.

[bondew]

I got bored- I love my freckled, fluffy red head! (Oh Cade, u and ur neatly brushed hair are loved too)

Two Bathroom Stalls.

Cadence Lane.

The piercing sound of my alarm rings in my ear the next morning. It’s around 6am and I’ve only slept for 4 hours. I stumble to the mirror and I flip it back to face me. As the sun peeks from under the curtains I brush my hair so it doesn’t reflect my mind. My room is completely clean, well excluding my desk drawers. I shove on a tight black turtle neck and white dress pants. I don’t change my black stud earrings, I don’t really have any other pairs anyway. I swing my bag onto one shoulder and slide on my loafers as I step out.

Tossing a mint into my mouth a sudden hoard of people pile into the hallway. They sound like squawking vultures as they push past me. I run my hand through my hair and make my way downstairs. My first class is at 8, I was meant to finish my project last night but because of the situation I have to do it this morning. I skip breakfast and end up in the library. Without saying a word I sit down and open up my laptop. Skimming through the essay I quickly edit it, I’m confident that I won’t miss any mistakes. There is hardly ever any, I am the top of the class for a reason.

I put my earbuds in and open up my notebook. My peace doesn’t last long, the stampede of boys stride into library. I notice one of them sneak away from the group as they wander around and talk to girls. He heads to the non-fiction section and grabs a thick, hard covered book about bugs. My computer is still open so when he decides to ignore all the other free tables and sit in front of me he is partly blocked out. I can see his freckled forehead and fluffy orange hair over the top of my screen but this decreases as he slumps down and starts to read. Shaking my head back to reality I tap on my page with a pen and start to write. My playlist is open on my screen and every time a song changes I glance up.

I’ve basically fallen asleep but when a book slams closed I suddenly jolt up.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you! U-uh I have to get to class!” The orange-haired boy says as he runs out of the room. Glancing at my watch I gather my stuff and sprint out just behind him. I arrive in the lecture room just before the clock hits 8, I’m panting and all eyes are on me. Fixing my hair I stand up straight and rush to a seat before anyone says anything.

Dazz Shawn.

It was probably a mistake choosing to study literature and theatre. I basically have no free time. I’m only a couple minutes late and luckily the director doesn’t seem to care. Dropping a heavy book about bugs and my tote bag on the floor I head backstage where I’m warmly welcomed.

We do a lot of theory in theatre obviously, I mean it is still a university class but today we have prac, the best part. For some weird reason the teacher randomly decided this year was the year we were going to do a performance! I mean I’m not unhappy, I love plays! But it was kinda out of the blue. I landed the male lead somehow so.. um yeah. I can’t really afford to be late to class anymore. The stage has been prepped with half-painted sets and random boxes since somebody lost the proper ones.

I washed my hair this morning so it’s all kinda fluffy and sticking out weirdly, nobody has really noticed. Not like I expect them to anyway! Like it’s just washing my hair.. haha. Um.. thankfully all my friends are studying things like, physics, sports science and mathematics so I don’t have to embarrass myself in-front of them when I’m horribly acting.

“Oh, by the way Dazz! You obviously know that we are doing Romeo and Juliet but just confirming you’re all good for the kiss?” My teacher interrupts my train of thought while I’m sitting on the edge of the stage. My legs instantly stop swinging and I go bright red.

“Yeahhh.. wait who’s Juliet again..” I struggle out.

“Right!” He flips his clipboard, “Hmm.. oh right of course! It’s Olivia Irwin!” He looks at me and smiles innocently.

“Yep! Ok all good!” I say quickly. Like obviously I knew I was going to have to kiss someone like it’s Romeo and Juliet for gods sake! But Olivia?! She’s like the prettiest, most talented person ever! Well atleast in this school!

Now don’t get the wrong idea I definitely don’t have a crush on her! Like I don’t really have a type but I just can’t date or crush on someone who has seen me trip into like three paint buckets!

[sadiests]

22nd November 2023

i slept through my fucking alarm and im so mad because it's the first class i missed this semester

i didn't eat lunch which was such a good idea /sc

i had 2 meetings that totalled 3 hours and i am so empty now bc of them, not to mention the changing of lecture theatres that has completely drained my batteries

we have no spoons people

dinner is ham sandies, gotta have that comfort food

speaking of food (TW: ED mention), i saw a batshit mental post today tagged with ed and starve and i was like wtaf why are you posting that on tumblr with no warning like i do not want to see your depressing ass 83 calorie lunch that you are purposely starving yourself by eating. i have my own issues with food and do not need to see that without warning

anyway, todays song sums up my mood pretty well i think

[marshalljudd]

Day 2 of University

Today had a very bad start. I’ve been waking up at 3am recently and not on purpose. This morning at 3, I told myself I did not have to get up at 3 so I went back to sleep and slept through all of my alarms. I woke up with 20 minutes until I was supposed to leave and got ready, hopped in the car with my mum and sister then checked my timetable. No 8am class. Last night, I dropped a course and took a different one which meant my whole timetable shifted. I just drove with my mum to drop my sister at the train station and we went home.

Mum went to work and I was at home for a few more hours. I played a video game and tried to relax a bit because I don’t like taking public transport, I always feel like I got on the wrong bus or I missed my stop. I walked up to the bus stop and got there just as it was arriving. Managed to get a nice seat and settled in because it was a pretty long bus ride, much longer than I’m used to. When I got to my stop, I tried to tag off but my card didn’t work so I had to pull it out and then the doors closed. I thought I was stuck. I went to the bus driver and it was so nerve racking because it was so loud, he asked me to speak up but he was actually very nice. We were at a red light and he let me off. I managed to meet my cousin on time for a little lunch together.

My first class of the day felt like it had way more people than it did yesterday. I went to sit near where I usually do for comfort and someone came right next to me and before I sat down, they said “aren’t you going to move down.” I was too nervous to say anything back and I quickly moved out of the way. I like sitting on the end of the row. They sat next to me on the inside of the row. That lecture went by pretty fast.

I had a one hour break before my next lecture and read over the info for my new course. My final lecture, I felt even more anxious than usual and I don’t actually know why. I got a seat where I wanted and no one sat next to me but I was still feeling very anxious. But that lecture was very good. My lecturer talks fast so the class went by fast but I still managed to take notes. There are a few things I have to go back and check but it was a productive lecture for me.

So my day started off not very well but I ended up enjoying it. It turned out to be a pretty relaxed day. I have my first assignment to work on too so that’s a bit frightening.

[daythieving]

log 241123

sorry i haven't spoken to you in a couple of days. my job has been kicking my ass and i've been very busy. i've been alright. i kind of hate my job and i never want to work in retail ever again. i need to go back to food, or something else that doesn't involve talking to people all the time. i tried fixing my pc again today to no luck, which was really driving me fucking insane, but it's whatever. i only went to school for like 3 hours because i hate going class nowadays, i missed my girlfriend and she's been really sick so i wanted to go cheer her up. i just finished watching an online concert and i'm in a good mood now, which is very nice, but i'm so tired. i wasn't even there!!! i hate being so exhausted all the time. i completely slept through my alarm today and i just feel like i've been too tired to want to do anything. sobriety is still going okay, although i'm already starting to worry about new years. it's really making me anxious, but i feel like i've just been so terribly anxious about everything these days. i don't know- i know that i'll probably get invited to go out with some of my friends and i want to have fun which means i'll probably be drinking. it's hard to have fun when everyone else is drunk and you're the only sober person, to me at least, because i just get really hyperaware of how embarrassing being drunk is. i don't even have a good excuse either, because i certainly can't be the d.d if i can't even drive. i've narrowed it down to four options.

i go out and i knowingly break sobriety. my friends who know will be disappointed but i will have fun.

i go out and do a shit ton of drugs instead of drinking. i won't technically break sobriety but being high isn't as much of a party thing as drinking is. will probably be half as much fun as drinking.

i go out and stay sober. i will not have fun and get very overwhelmed but i will stay sober. the most morally correct option.

i don't go out at all. none of my other friends like to go out so i will probably be at home and i will be sad. i will still be sober and experience zero second hand embarrassment.

i don't know what to do. i'm worried that if i try to drink in moderation that i'll end up overdoing it anyway. that's the kind of person i am. it's scary to deal with. i don't know. am i even ready yet? what's even the point of being sober if i know i'm just gonna get drunk again inevitably? my head hurts. this is so difficult.

[jellyfishright]

At A Distance, Spring Is Green -BL Version (Yeo Jun x Nam Soo Hyun): Chapter 3 : To Judge And Be Judged

Yeo Jun was walking from the quad, heading to his next class when he spotted a familiar car.

That Whiter Mercedes E Class looked like---- The horn that honked next was just a little more proof and if that wasn't enough, he as absolutely sure when the door opened and the driver alighted.

Today he was wearing all black, his dark hair swept across his forehead, sitting atop brown eyes that never wore any kind of emotion.

"Jun Wan" The name just came instinctively to his lips. He looked at that stoic face "Are you here to see me?"

"Like that'll ever happen." that monotone responded.

Jun felt a pang in his chest. "Figures.There's no reason for you to come see me."

"I've been transferred here." his older brother informed him. "I'll start giving lectures next week." Jun didn't respond. "Pretend like you don't know me." This string of words was a directive.

With nothing else to say, Jun Wan turned and left.

Yeo Jun stood in place and watched him go. Only when that car had disappeared, did he finally release the breath he wasn't even aware he'd been holding.Seeing Jun Wan appear so suddenly had rattled him a little. In this moment he wasn't focused on anything but that brief interaction so he was completely oblivious to the pair of eyes watching from under a straight bang.

The next Day

The sound of his alarm roused him from slumber.

6:00 am.

Soo Hyun rolled out of bed, using every ounce of his willpower not to cover himself once more with the blanket.

To say he was tired would be an understatement. He'd returned from his shift at the mini mart a little after 2 a.m. It seemed he'd only just closed his eyes and it was already time to wake up and get going.

Get going he did if he didn't want to miss bus to take him to university's shuttle pickup spot or the shuttle bus to the university that would get him to class on time.

He hurriedly showered, got dressed and grabbed everything he would need for the day ahead.

Thankfully he managed to catch his bus on time.During the 30 minute ride, Soo Hyun's eyes drooped and he nodded off more than a couple of times, desperate for just one more wink of sleep.

When he exited that bus, he sprinted to the designated spot for the university shuttle. He checked his watch. 8:01. He would make it in time.

CLASS CANCELLATION NOTICE.

The words sat in the middle of the sheet posted on the door.

Soo Hyun heaved a heavy sigh. After all he'd gone through to get here.

"Soo Hyun." a voice called out to him as he stood staring at the sign. He turned slowly to look at Yeo Jun "Gosh.If I had known, I would have slept in.Right?"

Without a word, Soo Hyun walked away.

"Now that I think about it. I haven't really thank you." Jun walked after him. "I could have gotten into big trouble that night if it had not been for you. Thanks for helping."

Soo Hyun was frustrated. He suddenly stopped walking and turned to the one being a pest.

"I get that you're used to people being kind to you but I wasn't trying to help you. You have an overinflated ego."

Yeo Jun looked at him. "So were you helping that girl? Soo Bin?"

Soo Hyun resumed walking down the hall.

"Gosh.How annoying." he heard the words from Yeo Jun that stopped him in his tracks.He turned to face him once more. "The way you look at me as if you know everything." He gazed at Soo Hyun in a way he'd never done before "It's disgusting."  Soo Hyun tilted his head thoughtfully to the side. He had his attention.

"You're so crooked you won't even accept other people's acts of kindness." Yeo Jun continued  "How dare you judge me? You don't know anything about me." That smile of his was gone and his voice now had a certain chill to it Soo Hyun had never heard before. "What gives you the right?" He wasn't really asking "I treated you like my senior because I pitied you, but you disgust me."

They held each other's gazes for a few moments before something truly strange happened.

"That's better." Soo Hyun replied, his lips pulling into a smile that disappeared just as quickly as it appeared. "It was hard seeing you act so pretentious."

They were back to holding each other's gazes.

This staredown was only interrupted by the sudden appearance of Kim Soo Bin who seemed to be running breathless to the shared class that was now cancelled.

With Soo Bin's arrival Soo Hyun turned on his heels and left, without a backward glance.Yeo Jun watched that dark head of hair leave, as he had done what seemed like countless times now.

It was roughly 10 am when Soo Hyun made it back to the apartment he shared with his younger brother.

"You're early."Nam Koo Hyun greeted his brother as he ate the noodles he'd just cooked. "Hold on." He looked at Soo Hyun and realized he was wet. "Didn't you have an umbrella?You should have called me."

Soo Hyun inspected himself. "It was just a drizzle."

"Have you eaten?"

Soo Hyun looked first at his brother and then at the little table in their crappy apartment. He was eating cheap noodles and canned fish.

Suddenly, he was hit with a memory centered on that person with gleaming golden hair. The way he'd effortlessly handed 100,000.00 to Soo Hyun that day after class. His heart itched.

"I guess you haven't." Koo Hyun pulled him back to the present. "I'll make you some ramyeon." His brother stood to his feet.

"Koo Hyun,Why don't we  order something nice today?"

Koo Hyun's face lit up. "Really? Is it a special occasion?"

"Order what you want." He instructed

"Sweet!" His brother didn't hesitate to pick up the phone to begin dialling.

A little smile graced Soo Hyun's lips as he looked at his brother.If it was even this much, atleast he could do it.

"Remember to chew." Soo Hyun admonished as he watched his brother devouring the takeout with gusto.

"Is it a special occasion?" Koo Hyun asked, with a mouth full of noodles. "Is someone adopting me?"

"As if anyone would." teased

"Better me than you." his brother teased back before stuffing a piece of chicken into his already full mouth.

Soo Hyun smiled, enough to show the dimples not many people knew he had since he rarely smiled.

"Koo-Hyun."

His brother slowed his eating and looked up at him "The deeper tone is worrying me."

"I'm sorry."

"About what?"

Koo Hyun was suddenly exasperated as he looked at his older brother. "Darn it.You're wearing my underwear again aren't you." he accused.

Soo Hyun smiled again. "Just eat up."

His brother sprang to his feet. "I'm right. Get over here."

Soo Hyun darted to his feet and dashed around the table to evade his brother's clutches. "Is it my favourite?" Koo Hyun questioned.

"Stop it." Soo Hyun continued to avoid being caught.

"Give it back then." Koo Hyun whined, forgetting about the food as he chased his brother around the tiny apartment.

The two laughed as they each dodged the other's clutches. Outside the rain continued to blanket their window.

After Koo Hyun had stuffed himself silly, he decide to take a nap. It was still raining but Soo Hyun decided to take a walk.

Grabbing his umbrella, he left the little apartment and headed outside with no particular destination in mind.

He was glad he could have bought good food for Koo Hyun to enjoy today. Sadly, it was not an opportunity that would come often, simply because he couldn't afford to. He still had parts of his tuition fees, books, his father's debts, rent and both his mother and Koo Hyun to take care of.

Soo Hyun wasn't sure why that guy had suddenly popped into his head. Maybe at that moment he wished that he too could just pull out 100,000 that freely.

Tsk. He clicked his tongue. Fate had not dealt him such a fortune.

Finding himself in an alleyway, he sat under an open verandah and shuttered his umbrella.

That guy. That guy and his words floated back to him like spectres.

"I know you had alot of pride, but you're actually pretty insecure."

"You're so crooked you won't even accept other people's acts of kindness."

"How dare you judge me? You don't know anything about me. What gives you the right?" 

"I treated you like my senior because I pitied you, but you disgust me."

Those words. What was with him and those words? Soo Hyun had never cared what other people thought about him before. That was also mainly because though he knew what people said of him and behind his back, no one had confronted him the way Yeo Jun had.

Soo Hyun frowned as he continued to watch the rain.

"Don't drink too much guys!"

"Cheers." 

The people at Yeo Jun's table clinked their glasses for the millionth time.

Jun downed the contents in his glass,feeling like this cup in his hand-----empty.

With a dazed expression he watched the group, each person at  a different stage of drunkenness.

"We're out of booze right?" Chun Guk lifted the bottle to confirm. After which he called out for two more bottles to be brought.

"Are you anxious?"  Those words suddenly floated back to him

"You need everyone to like you,but I get on your nerves." 

"The way that you act like you know me is revolting." Jun thought to himself

"That's better. It was hard seeing you act so pretentious." And he had actually smiled.

What was with him and those words? Who did he think he was ?

"Once more! Let's raise our glasses!" His table got rowdy again with the new batch of drinks.

He pulled himself from his musings , affixed his smile and clinked his glass.

What did that guy know about him?

"You're going already?" Koo Hyun questioned as he watched his brother gathering his things. "But you worked all night."

Soo Hyun put another book in his bag. "I can sleep on the bus."

He'd just finished when something caught his eye on the shelf. Shifting the container sitting atop it, he retrieved the book. Criminal Law Case Studies.

Soo Hyun sighed deeply.

"What's this?"

Koo Hyun grabbed the book, hiding it behind his back.

"Tell me."

"It's none of your business."

"Unbelievable." He looked at his watch. Delaying any further would put him in a world of problems. "We'll talk about this later."

"Mom already knows." Koo Hyun announced as Soo Hyun was leaving. He turned and looked at his brother. "She approved and said I could talk to you.I didn't because I knew you'd be against it." 

"What about college?" Soo Hyun asked.

"I don't go to a fancy one like you do and can't get scholarships.Graduating a dingy school with mediocre grades won't help me find  job."

"The police academy is no joke." Soo Hyun pointed out. "You'll also need money for classes.So just finish college and ---"

Koo Hyun didn't allow him to finish. "Say what you want, but i've made up my mind.I'm moving into a gosiwon next month." 

"Koo Hyun!"

His baby brother ignored him.Sitting at his desk, he put his headphones on.

Soo Hyun sighed.

His journey to school was unsettling . Knowing what his brother planned to do next yanked him by the collar into the past.

Back to that coffin laden with flowers with that smiling face in uniform looking at him while tears streamed down his face.Back to the dejected faces of his mother and younger brother as they sat in the corner of the room.

This wasn't where his problems had begun, but this one event had made his life infinitely worse.Still. What was the point of pitying himself?Neither his, nor the pity of anyone else ever made is life any better.

The world doesn't want to see what youth really looks like.

It's why we can only imitate what grown-ups do by following the rules to a certain point and not wasting our time

We put on a mask on top of the mask we're already wearing and try ever so hard to keep our rue selves hidden.

Spring has always been just a rumor since we're constantly stuck in winter.

Class was back insession the following day and Yeo Jun presented himself early.Meeting Kim Soo Bin at the door, they walked in together amidst the ogling eyes and blushings cheeks that were commonplace whenever girls saw him.

"Jun!" Gung-ho called out to him from his usual place.

"Hi." he waved to his friends. Having seen that Soo Hyun had already arrived, Jun took the empty seat beside him.

Gung-Ho and Chun Guk exchanged glances but they would not be defeated.

"Jun! Jun!" they kept calling. "We saved you a seat."

Soo Hyun, whose head was laid on the desk until now, looked up and glanced at Jun.

"Sorry about that." Yeo Jun replied to his friends. "But I forgot my contacts today."

Soo Hyun was still looking at him.

"Oh." he turned his attention to Soo Hyun. "I brought coffee. It's to apologize to you for last time. I was out of line." He took the cup and placed it before him. "Enjoy the coffee and forget it happened."

Nam Soo Hyun looked at him before retrieving his backpack and moving one seat ahead.When he was safely away from Yeo Jun, he rested his head on the desk once more.

The professor arrived shortly thereafter and the class passed uneventfully. From his place behind Soo Hyun, looked at the back of that head. He also looked at his profile whenever he turned his head ever so slightly. Regardless of his bad personality, he really was handsome. The way his hair sat just above his brow, the flawless slope of his nose.Even his ears were kind of cute.

If he had a more agreeable personality, Jun was sure he would be more popular -- for the right reasons.

Yeo Jun watched the way Soo Hyun held his pen. The way he seemed to be paying rapt attention and taking notes was fascinating.

"Anyway. That's all for today's class." Professor Park announced, signalling the end of the session. "Oh. That reminds me.I forgot to mention this during the last class but I am assigning you team projects for your mid-term evaluation."

There was a collective groan from the class.

"Quiet." The professor settled his students. "I'll let you choose your team though and the project can be about anything.The team leader will inform me of the topic you choose next week and we'll draw names to determine the order of the presentations."

The student groaned again, complaints abounding.

"What about those with no friends in this class?" a student asked.

"Sometimes life boils down to the connections you have." Professor Park replied. "The experience of forcing yourself to team up with other students who share the same goal will become an asset." 

Yeo Jun raised his hand. "But professor. I'm a freshman."

"Isn't this class for juniors?"

"It is." Soo Hyun confirmed 

"Which is why I should be teamed up with someone who gets good grades." Jun spoke up.

"He must be referring to Soo Hyun." Professor Park observed, scratched the back of his neck, his lollipop sticking artfully between his fingers. He looked at Soo Hyun.  "He's your responsibility now." Yeo Jun smiled.

"Professor that's---" Soo Hyun began to object.

Another voice was similarly raised. 

"Professor!" Gung-ho raised his hand. "I'll lead Jun to a good grade."

Yeo Jun's smile evaporated.

"You Han Gung-ho? Professor Park stuck his lollipop back into his mouth.

"I'm old enough to know what I'm doing."

"Soo Hyun. You now have another member on your team. "Professor Park announced.

Nam Soo Hyun turned in his seat and looked at Han Gung-ho who seemed quite pleased with himself. Next he looked at Yeo Jun, who was wearing a tease of a smile again.

With this settled, Professor Park enquired if anyone else needed help being put on a team. Maybe they were scared of also being put on Soo Hyun's team so no one said another word.

Class dismissed.

"Hey. Nam Soo Hyun!" Gung-ho called out in the hallway to the figure walking just ahead of him.

Soo Hyun halted and turned to face him.

"What was with that scowl?" Gung-ho sneered. "We both may be juniors but I am a year older than you. So what was with that scowl?"

Soo Hyun stared at him blankly, shifting his weight from one leg to the other.

"Not that again. Why you---" Gung-ho was irritated as he stepped towards Soo Hyun.

Yeo Jun, who was also in their company grabbed on to his hand.

"Gung-ho please. We're on the same team now."

"How can I possibly work with that jerk?" Gung-ho griped, looking at Soo Hyun who had not even flinched.

"You have me, remember." Jun tried to smooth things over.

Gung-ho slapped a hand on Jun's shoulder. "Right. Just remember to take your cues from me and Chun Guk and run errands." Gung-ho smiled. "Hye Ji, just follow my lead." he addressed the lone girl in their group.

"Sure. Sure." the response came. "Does that make me the only girl?" she pondered aloud.

"And we're one person short." Chun Guk commented "Jun is also a freshman."

"Wait a second." Nam Soo Hyun stopped the person who was trying to slink past the group in the hallway.

Kim Soo Bin stopped.

"Are you already in a team?" he asked.

"Not yet."

"How about you join ours?" Seeing that she looked hesitant, Soo Hyun continued. "I need someone I can trust on the team."

"Are you saying that you can't trust us?" Gung-ho was offended.

"Someone who works hard." Soo Hyun continued to address Soo Bin. "I wouldn't mind having you on our team."

"If this is about the project we did in the past, I'm okay." Soo Bin replied.

"I don't get swayed by frivolous things.I liked the work you did so I want you to join us. Please think about it."

"What's there to think about?" Yeo Jun stepped in. "Just join us."

As though the matter was settled, he looked at the group. "Let's go. Our first meeting should be somewhere fancy."

Off they went...

[bittersweettweet]

7

Today, my alarm went off at 4:30 am, but I snoozed it and went back to sleep until 6 am. I wanted to do some studying before school. When I woke up, I noticed that Dad was awake and packing for his trip. I tried to look like I was studying by holding my book up, but I couldn't focus. I was too worried about Dad going away.

I had three tests today: Farsi, Grammar, and Arabic. And guess what? They were all scheduled for the same hour! It felt overwhelming, but I had to get through it. Before leaving, I had my favorite breakfast, which Mom made for me. It was feta cheese, bread, tea, and sugar. Yummy!

After saying goodbye to Dad, I headed out. I went to Sherry's apartment, which is on the second floor across the street. I rang her doorbell, but after waiting there for 5 minutes, I realized that nobody was home. Ugh, she must have left early so she wouldn't have to go to school with me. I was so mad and ready to let her know about it as soon as I saw her.

Yep, there she was, at school. I was about to start yelling at her when she asked if I went looking for her. I replied, "Yeah, of course, I hate you." Then she explained that she was at a gathering and slept over, coming straight to school from there. Man, she's so lucky! She has tons of cousins her age, and they're all cool and fun. They even have boyfriends and girlfriends, and their parents are okay with it. They always have parties. Meanwhile, we never go anywhere exciting.

Anyway, I forgave her in a second. Second period is always so long! I can't stand Geography and History. Third period was creeping up quickly. I heard from other classes that Ms. Mahdinia hadn't shown up for work. Suddenly, Sherry walked in and told us, "Hey guys, Ms. Mahdinia actually showed up and took the tests. They were super hard!" I said, "You're lying!" But then Roya, her classmate, walked in. Mehri blocked Sherry, so she wouldn't give any signals. I asked Roya if the teacher had really shown up, and she confirmed it, saying, "Yep, she did." So Mehri and I started walking and studying together.

Finally, Sherry jumped in front of me, laughing. She said, "Nope, she didn't show up. I totally fooled you!" Mehri and I caught her, planning to give her a little beating, but instead, we ended up tickling her and laughing. Suddenly, the principal showed up instead of the teacher. She blabbered so much that I got a headache trying to understand what she was even talking about. I couldn't keep up with it.

When I got home, I found out that Mom and Behnaz's mom had gone shopping. They only got me some fabric and this book to write in. They also gave us some chocolate, which was nice. I really hope Ms. Mahdinia doesn't show up tomorrow either. Wait, that came out wrong. I mean, I hope she doesn't break her leg or anything. Oh my God, what am I saying? I hope nothing bad happened to her because she never misses school. Alright, that's all for today.

11/08/1982