#miss prettyful!!!!!!

[guardveils]

save me gorgeous woman

[asimplewonder]

they killed it ;(

[mikuni14]

We Are - Ep 4

PhumPeem As a shallow person who forgives a lot of characters if they are played by a pretty actor, and as a boomer raised on toxic yaoi manga, this couple is still in my first place 🤡 I look at them with mixed feelings. Hope, because Phum improved a lot in this episode, he apologized - even several times, but most importantly, he said that he was an asshole, didn't look for excuses and tried to make amends. This is crucial for me: not only an apology, but also awareness of what has been done, owning it and compensation (which I mentioned many times during DFF analyses, because THIS was missing there). But I also don't trust them yet, because PondPhuwim had their other series start off quite well, only to disgust me later with the inequalities and simple toxicity in relationships (and yes, even their prettyness didn't help lol). PhumPeem as of this episode have a dynamic that I like, that is, they are both strong characters, with an air of adulthood mixed with a childish banter, acts of service and mutual attraction mixed with keeping a distance and lingering distrust on Peem's part. Plus a "handsome big bad boy" in engineering and a "beautiful artist" - as a yaoi boomer, I am completely defenseless against such a couple 🤡 What intrigues me about them is that they are clearly interested in each other, they are probably types for each other and if it weren't for the stupid and unfortunate beginning of their relationship, it's quite possible that they would have already had their first hook-up and their relationship would be more adult and in my style, and their problems would be more problems of mature people. I'm a little concerned about the speed at which this relationship is moving, knowing that there are 16 episodes. Good lord, what are they thinking of to fill 11 episodes when the boys will probably kiss in the next one? I can only imagine 😬

QToey A very enjoyable pairing that started for me with the scene in the last episode where Q is possessive and doesn't let anyone take care of Toey. I admit that I'm not a big fan of this couple, probably because Q is too dominant in this relationship for me, due to his character, personality and the fact that I like him A LOT. But I'm starting to warm up to them 😉

TanFang Pretty much the same situation: Tan dominates this couple so much for me that I don't see them as a couple at all yet. Besides, I don't really know what Fang's feelings and intentions are, because there simply isn't enough of him.

ChainPun I'm not interested in this couple ngl. Characters like Pun have to have really well-written roles so as not to come off as irritating or cartoonish (something like Khem from The Sign), or so that this kind of personality type doesn't dominate the ENTIRE character.

After 4 episodes, I can say that I'm most interested in Peem, Q and Tan, their relationship, their friendship, their lives, their characters. This is actually pretty funny because they are SO interesting to me that I am more fascinated by their interactions with each other than with their respective partners 😄 (with the exception of Phum, who is a strong enough character to be able to match Peem). But I freely admit that the most interesting scenes in this episode belonged to these three and had nothing to do with romance 😉

👆This was actually the best scene from this episode 😆

[xvs9000]

attention all skibidi fans; i have done a thing

hello everybody it is me again yes yes i know you missed me dearly

so! i have been cooking quite vigorously in the kitchen and i have something to present to the 18+ audience that follows me! are you a fan of skibidi toilet but you're tired of tiny little gremlins (minors) infiltrating everywhere you go? (no offense to the gremlins btw. we love you all dearly very very much.)WELL I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU! me and my buddies have created a skibidi toilet discord server solely for an 18+ audience! if you join, we will be oh so happy to welcome you into our rapidly expanding bacterial colony within our humble petri dish! we have games, movie nights, prettyful color roles, art, and lots and lots of skibidi toilet. as well as more!! we do require age verification but DO NOT WORRY; its not super complicated. if you're friends with a mod or somebody who's already in the server that can already verify your age, don't worry about this! so come on down to 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 town and we'll gladly let you in!! The link is right below!

Note: The Alliance VIP Lounge is not responsible for any fatalities or mortal injuries that happen on the premises. Please enter at your own discretion with this knowledge in mind.

https://discord.gg/fcgBnTehEx also if your proship; go away ur not welcome here and MINORS SHOO NO LITTLE GREMLINS ALLOWED THIS IS A BABY FREE ZONE ok thank you :)

[fat-fuck-hairy-belly]

I'm losing my mind trying to find a song I used to listen to years ago on my old mp3 player. The song is called "Hello Vagina" by FAKE and I just can't find it anywhere, google, youtube spotify, nowhere. I've managed to find a single russian site with the lyrics for the song, but googling the lyrics doesn't show anything else, even the site I'm copypasting them from. I either keep getting ads for sextoys or another completely different song that's also called Hello Vagina by Margot and the Nuclear So and So's. Here are the lyrics if anyone knows this song and can help me find it.

Evening lives me unprotected Blanket is a slice of skin to me Sticky laziness is my creases My deception –all that you can see

Real confession is expensive I watch porno through your chunky split I found dad’s belt in your wardrobe Highest form of justice is for me

Retribution is my payment I can harshly punish you with stick Your deep hallway smells so fishy And my sailor sinks so good in it

Hello Prettyness Hello my Defeat Hello Universe Hello empty place

Hello Eternity Hello my death Hello Destiny Hello my End

Hello,how are you miss vagina? Hello hello pretty hole.

My cunt doesn’t count

To escape this little meeting I had only one tiny chance But it was so interesting That I can’t resist to play with you

Precipice was so good looking No chance to stop it anyways This game with fire has to happened Now this path is over anyways

Your medusa is a hunter Ruthless,angry little beast of pray Ate me once with the huge hunger Now I guess I have this words to say

Hello Prettyness Hello my Defeat Hello Universe Hello empty place

Hello Eternity Hello my death Hello Destiny Hello my End

[gvtz-xd]

I think the worst part of being fictokin/therian (for me at least) is the shifts. Like my brain goin' Bdubs mode like "Awe. I miss my horse :(" but my stupid brain is like "We aren't that goofster. What are you doing? You dip shit. You dumb fucking hoe." And it makes me sad cuz I'm longing for the sea and my prettyful tower while also trying to logic myself out of it.

[gojoath]

do you have any tips on making your layout of stuff pretty/aesthetic? i admire your writing and the prettyness of your layouts sm but i struggle to make it anywhere near the same point of being satisfied or overly happy with them 😭 hoping you had a great week too and i miss you lots!

ohhhh i just LIVE on pinterest anon :,( when it comes to my fic / post lay-out i just make sure that i’m all colour coordinated with my coloured manga panels & my dividers. you can get some pretty ones from cafekitsune or benkeibear on here, they’re a good base to start on & then i just add some cute kaomojis / symbols to make it extra cute, missing you sm anon i hope that helps a little i’m so bad w advice ᰔ

[the-ramshackle-yuus]

yeah but like... Miss Azul is very prettyful and yeah your pretty but Miss Azul is prettyfull

OMG HAI FEMZUL HRU? :3

Oh, I'm not "Miss Azul" but I can bring her in if you want.

For a price of course. These things take hard work.

[idyat]

Sanford x Bartender reader

The room spinning around you

Summary: He was a regular at your bar. Naturally, you became good "friends".

WARNINGS: Alcohol, mentions of corpses and smoking

--------------------------------------------------

It was yet another ordinary night at the bar. Clients rushing in after a good day of murder and destruction. It seems like alcohol is one of the few things nevadeans wanted to leave intact. You couldn't blame them, it was one way to forget about one's shitty life, despite destroying their body in the process.

But there's no time to dwell on thoughts! This is the busy hours! So get to work!

And you did. Serving up all the toxic beverages needed until the already strong smell of booze and cigarettes was just straight up harassing the nostrils of anyone nearby.

But even with the huge charge of work on your shoulders, your mind still found the ability to focus on when a particular client was going to cross the doors of your shop. One you've found yourself chatting with almost everytime he came, which was quite a lot since he was a common customer of yours.

You heard the bars doors open.

There he was. The arsonist himself.

"Hey Sanford, getting the usual tonight?"

"Yep!"

You quickly passed him his glass. He often arrived a bit late, but that wasn't a problem, as it meant you had less customers on your throat and therefore more time for talking.

"Thanks for the drink! Here, that's extra for another." He said while passing you some cash, at which you grinned and leaned over to whisper.

"Is this money yours?"

"Can't be the corpse I took it from's!"

You laughed "Yup, guess that makes sense!"

The rest of the night was like this. You serving glasses of cheap booze to Sanford while laughing and talking about whatever was going on in this shitty state (you were serving your other clients of course).

But the thing is, when someone binge-drinks alcohol no one bothered to check for ethanol levels, they most likely get very drunk or drop dead right there. Thankfully, the mass-murderer in front of you could survive being stabbed like 127 times, so after everyone else left, it was just you and the incoherent babblings of this man in the bar.

"You should-*hic!* You should have seen their face!" Sanford's loud laughter echoed through the room as he told you about yet another dumb ennemy's death. "His aim was worse than Hank's...caba...capatylipy at being a good person!" This was at least the fourth time he said the same thing about that agent's aim and failed to correctly say "capability", but it wasn't a problem.

"They really got that stormtrooper aim huh?"

"*hic!* Hehe yeah!"

There was an akward silence between you yoo before the drunkard rested his head on his hand (he missed, by the way) and spoke up.

"Y'know...You're really nice..." It was probably the alcohol, but it felt like his face got redder.

You smiled with a hum "Thank you, I return the compliment."

"Like...*hic!*The whole rooms blurry and spinny right now but I can still see your prettyness aalll fiiine..!"

...Not taking any risks. He is absolutely wasted after all. "You're drunk Sanford."

Even if you were a rather calm person, you definitely couldn't stop your heart from skipping a beat when he put his hand on yours, resting on the counter. Looking up at his eyes, they looked serious; he wasn't smiling anymore.

"Then ask me when I'm not, I'll tell you I love you the exact same way."

And then he passed out.

...

Well damn. How were you supposed to react to this. Sure, you might secretly have had a small thing for Sanford for a while now. But did you expect him to reciprocate? No, absolutely not. It was unrealistic to think this "heartless monster" could feel any affection at all, let alone romantic. And yet here you were, contemplating your existence and feelings in front of a dead asleep majorly wanted criminal.

After what seemed like an eternity, you finally picked up the phone peeking out his pocket to call one of his friends to pick him up.

...What? It's not like you were going to look at anything else on there! How else were you supposed to bring him home? It's not like you could just keep him here for the night!

Internal monologuing aside, you sent a text to his best friend Deimos explaining Sanford was asleep and all that stuff. You knew Deimos decently well, Sanford very often brings him to the bar. You knew you could trust this man with bringing his best friend home. Not sure about not drawing on his face while he's asleep.

Welp, now all you had to do is wait. Wait right next to the sleeping man who drunkenly said he loved you...

...Probably won't remember it either...

......They often say you admit how you truly feel when you're drunk, right..?

.........It'll just be one...One little kiss to his cheek he will not know anything about as you whisper your words.

"I love you too Sanford."

--------------------------------------------------

Hooolyy shit I procrastinated on this story for so long. But here it is, Sanford finally gets laid.

[amistyshadow]

I decided to go into the flower door! The inside wasn’t like the rest of the factory, it looked like the inside of a dollhouse! Boogie Bot hitched a ride in my backpack, he was so excited! He wanted to see Poppy so badly! I was playing Hide n seek again with the others, so hopefully it will be a while before they think to look for me here… I still feel super bad about lying to Huggy and the others… but I have to know. What is behind this door?

When we looked around, it was pretty empty, there were closets around but there was nothing inside them. Then Boogie and I came across another door, we opened it. And behind it, has got to be one of the most prettyful dolls I’ve ever seen. She seemed to be asleep inside this case. All of the sudden, Boogie got out of my backpack. He started hopping up and down yelling excitedly, “Poppy! Poppy! Poppy! It’s you! I’m here! I’m right here! It’s me! It’s Boogie!” So this was Poppy!

She’s so prettyful! I knocked on the glass, seeing if she would wake up… she didn’t… then I remembered what Lisa and She told me about sleeping people and how it would be rude to wake them up. But Boogie told me to open the case… so I did. Poppy opened her eyes and looked really shocked to see someone here. I hope she’s not mad at me for waking her up.

Before I could say hi, Boogie tackle hugged her and started crying. “POPPY!” He said, “Oh thank Elliot Ludwig! You’re alright! I missed you!! We all missed you!” Poppy was pretty shaken up, but she smiled and hugged Boogie back. “I missed you too Boogie!”

Lisa and She says there’s something that’s not right about her. But if Boogie trusts her, and if the others trust her, than I will too. Poppy likes having tea parties and she likes to stay clean. Her eyes look a little funny though, they look so real! Poppy is super thankful to me for letting her out. She keeps saying that he keeps putting her back… a big bully of the factory. I wonder who she’s talking about.

About time that Poppy got into this picture huh?! Now all the happy times are about to come to an end with the things she will attract… was Lelu right to let Poppy out? Or should she have just left her there? Who is coming next?

Stay tuned~

[jentlemahae]

(Ps anon) honestly, SM just has a specific face type, especially for girls. All big 3 have a particular look they go for, but SM has always been down to essentially clone their idols. Jungwoo now looks eerily similar to TVXQ’s Junsu, and Taeyeon, Irene and Winter look so similar I’ve actually had to do a double take on more than one occasion. I guess they feel their idols will be more popular if they’re lookalikes of an already popular idol, but it’s kind of sad to be known as “that one kid who looks like X”. Kpop in general is getting much more ps heavy though, and they’re all chasing the same Korean beauty standards, so more and more idols have this standarized sort of look about them, both boys and girls. I miss the days when idols and actors were allowed to be a bit ugly so long as they were good performers. Now Korea is so appearance obsessed that we have bullshit such as people deciding some female idols have an “actress aura” just because they have a manufactured traditionally clean cut image and girl next door sort of prettyness (think Jisoo and Yoona). Idk how many times I’ve had to read that expression, and it makes 0 sense to me, because acting is a job, it literally does not matter what you look like on the regular. In Korea you give a female idol the eyes+nose+jaw ps combo, dye their hair black, give them a middle part and “no make-up make-up”, stick them in a modest white blazer and non-flashy cartier jewelry, and suddenly the entirety of naver is saying they should get cast in a drama 😭. Standarized good looks are a genuine problem in Korean entertainment.

oh yeah i agree with everything u said!!! looks are becoming increasingly more important than skills in the ent industry and especially in kpop nowadays and its so sucky :/ and yeah def for dramas a lot like u see so many kdrama actors who are like not that good but get so much hype and keep getting cast bcs of their looks ://

[amenomiko]

Masterlist 2

Updated as of 18 October 2020-

GENERAL TOPICS

Random Thought - Motonari’s Name

Random Thought - MC with Manly Voice

Chat with Friend - Masamune the Accidental Impaler

IkeSen MC vs My OC Reactions

Loli Lords (Picrew)

Facts about OC - Ame Rie’s Fears

ALL LORDS / NINJAS / MONK

IkeSen Lords Play An Online Game

How the Lords Ask for Their First Child

MC Went for a Shopping with Him at a Clothing Store

IkeSen Lords playing SLBP Routes Reaction

IkeSen Lords as Parents

Extra Salty MC

Princess Claims

Linguist MC Gets Angry

First Call After Marriage

He is an Actor That has to Play a Scene of Where the Actress Cried from a Break Up

Paranoid Warlords x Sick MC

Lords as Cinderella Part 2

Lords as Snow White

MC Turned into Half Human x Half Animal

Pregnant MC x Paranoid Warlords

That every scene of Lords reaction when that certain lord of that certain route when he is with MC

Lords and Arcade

Lords as GF and MC as BF

Warlords as teachers, particularly sex education subject.

Lords as Memes

AZUCHI CASTLE LORDS

Jealous Warlords with MC who Purposely Flirt with Soldiers due to Insecurity

Reaction to Fan-Girling MC

Sex Ed

Her Birthday (Nobunaga)

KASUGAYAMA CASTLE LORDS / NINJA

MC That Wants to Make the Lord Jealous On Purpose (Part 2)

REQUESTED / CHOSEN LORDS

MC as Mafia Heiress (Nobunaga, Masamune, Mitsuhide, Kenshin)

Unexpected In-Laws (Mitsuhide & Hideyoshi)

MC Never Existed (Ieyasu, Masamune, MItsuhide, Kenshin)

MC that is Gorgeous and Charming (Nobunaga, Ieyasu, Kenshin, Shingen, Sasuke)

MC Doing Yoga (Hideyoshi, Mitsuhide, Shingen, Sasuke)

Forgetful MC (Hideyoshi, Masamune, MItsunari, Kenshin)

MC with Godlike Powers (Nobunaga, Masamune, Hideyoshi, Ieyasu)

Lords Babysit their Children when MC is Sick (Nobunaga, Ieyasu, Mitsuhide, Kenshin)

MC Who Doesn't Know What Is Love (Nobunaga, Mitsuhide, Kenshin, Shingen)

MC Taking Care of Warlords who is Sick / Injured (Masamune, Kenshin, Shingen)

MC in Sexy Nurse Costume (Ieyasu, Mitsuhide, Masamune, Kenshin, Sasuke)

MC that LOVES Sweets (Masamune, Kenshin, Shingen, Yukimura)

Jealous Reactions to Sasuke x MC Closeness (Nobunaga, Yukimura, Kenshin)

Too Innocent It’s Dangerous (Nobunaga, Mitsuhide, Shingen)

KPOP Idol MC (Shingen, Masamune, Ieyasu, Kenshin, Sasuke)

MC that Can Sing Beautifully & Play Instrument (Mitsuhide, Kenshin, Shingen)

Monkey See Monkey Do (Hideyoshi, Nobunaga, Masamune)

Missed Her Birthday (Hideyoshi & Shingen)

His Favorite Character Come to Life (Nobunaga, Masamune, Ieyasu & Sasuke)

Chubby Cheeks (Nobunaga, Mitsuhide, Ieyasu, Kenshin & Yukimura)

HIS / HER REACTIONS (FOR ANY SCENES)

MC Sings Never Enough

Tear Here Label

Hungry In the Middle of the Night

Do You Know That You Look Like My First Husband?

His reaction when she kissed on..

MC + Virgin Killer Sweater

Hug w/o *beep*

Argument

Got Flirted at the Beach

I Want My Waifu

It Comes From Her First

Post-*beep*

Spill

Flipping His Towel

NSFW/SMUT

Even The Strong Ones Could be Swayed Easily (Shingen x MC x Mitsuhide)

She Was Doing an Excellent Job (Masamune x MC x Mitsuhide)

Fair Fill (Nobunaga x MC x Kenshin)

My Pure Wife (Mitsuhide x MC)

Kamasutra (Hideyoshi, Masamune, Ieyasu, Kenshin, Yukimura, Sasuke)

What If... (All)

Mark on that Disguise (Shingen x MC)

New Door...? (Masamune x MC)

Black Widow (Mitsuhide x MC)

Are You That Desperate (Sasuke x MC)

It Was Mutual After all (Ieyasu x MC)

I Don’t Know Myself, Idiot! (Masamune x MC)

What I Like About This (Kennyo x MC)

Chatelaine’s Job is Special Indeed (Nobunaga x MC x Ieyasu)

Pushing you for Good (Mitsuhide x MC)

Perverted and Michievous (Hideyoshi x MC)

Secret Lover (Nobunaga x MC)

To Confess Once Again (Masamune x MC)

Pretend Game (Kenshin x MC)

Never Enough (Shingen x MC)

Their Dirty Thoughts (All x MC)

It’s My Turn (Kenshin x MC)

INCORRECT QUOTES / SHORT CHATS - ALL LORDS (Or Mix of Both)

Sasuke's Class on Verbs

Mitsunari as Teacher Part 2

Mitsunari as Teacher Part 1

Misused Position

Weird Victims

Kindergarten

Every. Lords. Ever

Lords as Cinderella

Beach Part 2

MC Sneezes

INCORRECT QUOTES / SHORT CHATS - AZUCHI

That Usual Duo

Sarcasm at its Best

If They Are Real Siblings

Something in My Eyes

Nightmare

Jungle Trekking

Misunderstood

Hot? I’m Hotter

Ieyasu and His Word of Condolences

How Could Chu

Mosquito Marks

Ieyasu as Modern AU Doctor

Try to Sleep

Mitsunari Papa

Contact Lenses

Beach

Small but Big

Play

Attacked

Where to Eat?

If Only...

Dinner

Ieyasu to Mitsunari, Fantasy vs Reality

Pik Pok Pik Pok (Ieyasu)

Picnic

Road Trip

Sad Face All The Way (Hideyoshi)

Porcupine Nagging Fail (Ieyasu)

Make Him Blush

Where to Sit (Ieyasu & Mitsunari)

Modern AU Doc (Hideyoshi & Mitsunari)

Salgry (Ieyasu)

Azuchi Castle in Summer

Hideyoshi as English Teacher

Don’t Stop (Hideyoshi & Mitsuhide)

Lords and Direction

If Mitsuhide and Ieyasu Combined

Camping

Thanks to the Rice

Pinch of Salt

For The Last Time, I’m NOT A Mom (Hideyoshi)

Beach Part 1

Oppa, I Love You (Masamune)

If Ieyasu is a Kitty (Mitsunari & Ieyasu)

If Mitsuhide and Hideyoshi Combined

Lack of Sugar (Ieyasu & Mitsunari)

Lost Memories (Ieyasu & Mitsunari)

Tripped and Fall, Positively (Ieyasu & Mitsunari)

Post-It Stickers (Ieyasu)

Listen Here You Lil’ Shit (Ieyasu & Mitsunari)

Your D is Big (Mitsuhide)

INCORRECT QUOTES / SHORT CHATS - KASUGAYAMA

Stalking Failed

Bad with Joke

His Ace

Pregnant with Food

Promotion

The Differences

Wild Pokemon

Ba dum tss 2

Here We Go Again

Wake Up Call

Calculation Time of Argument

Ba dum tss 1

Distracted While Cleaning

Shingen as Modern AU Doctor

Shalalala Shingen Fantasy World

Yearly Cleaning

My Jaw Hurts

Deal (Shingen & Yukimura)

Prettyful (Shingen & Kenshin)

Don’t Fall In Love (Sasuke)

Angels Without Wings

Sour Plum (Kenshin)

Code Number

Equation Love (Sasuke & Yukimura)

Echigo Castle in Autumn

Echigo Castle in Spring

Echigo Castle in Winter

Echigo Castle in Summer

My Chest Hurts Lately (Shingen)

Soaaaringgg Flyingggg (Sasuke)

DRABBLES

Carrying Positions (All Lords)

Notice Me, My Lord (Mitsuhide and Kenshin)

Yukimura and MC Who’s Afraid of the Dark

Insignificant (Any Lords x MC)

ONE SHOTS

MC with Traumatic Past (Ieyasu)

I Will Still Choose You (Mitsuhide x MC)

Kiss Kiss (Mitsuhide x MC)

His Everything (Masamune x MC)

[cardsbizarreadventure]

Dio servant: O; you’re so prettyful Miss Joelle! I think because of the dress we have a good theme for the wedding! *they place a flower in her hair*

“A-Ah... you are too sweet... “ - Joelle.

[thatdarncatchronicles]

That Darn Cat | Issue No. 3 | An Unexpected Party

Warnings | None

Rating | K+

Genres | Friendship, Family, Snark (it’s totally a genre)

Word Count | 1.5K

Summary: In which Selina catches Jim when he comes back from a date and gives him an unfair amount of grief. Cue milk theft, hot tips, and lots of blushing Jim.

"Evening, Detective."

Selina had to work hard to keep her neutral expression from cracking when Gordon jumped, still half-in, half-out of his coat, and whirled towards her. She settled for an unimpressed quirk of her eyebrow.

"Selina." Jim's mouth smiled, but his eyes were flat as untangled himself from his coat and hung it on a hook by the door. "Make yourself at home." His eyes swept over where she sat, cross-legged in the middle of his counter, and landed on the half-empty bottle of milk in her hands.

"Oh, don't worry. I have."

"So I see." He shook his head, dropping his keys on the counter. "Breaking and entering is illegal, Selina."

Selina feigned offense. "Whoa! Listen, I didn't break anything. The window was open."

"The window was not—we're on the fourth floor."

"And…?"

"How do you even know where I live?"

"I followed you." She threw back a gulp of milk.

His eyebrows shot up. "You followed me."

"You got bad ears or somethin'? That's what I said."

"Tonight?"

Selina could have sworn she saw him flush, just a little. Interesting. "Nah, a few nights ago. You work late, man. I always thought detectives were nine-to-fivers"

He flashed a bitter grin. "Yeah. So did I. Why did you follow me?"

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, Detective."

He squinted. "What the—what is that supposed to mean?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. Hey." Her head titled as she looked him up and down. "You look different. Spiffy. You have a meeting today, or something?"

Jim shot her a warning look as he loosened his tie.

Oh. Selina's eyes widened as a wicked grin spread across her face. "No. You were on a date."

Jim slung his suit jacket over his shoulder and headed to his room. His ears were definitely redder than they had been a second ago.

"You were, weren't you!"

The door clicked shut. Selina smirked.

He emerged again a few minutes later, minus tie and shoes, and padded to the kitchen without even glancing at her where she was now sprawled on the couch. She wiggled her eyebrows. "So...How'd it go?"

Jim grabbed a glass from the cupboard and placed it on the counter with a clatter before turning to open the fridge. He rooted around for a few seconds before he blinked, straightened, and slowly, deliberately pushed the door shut. His baleful gaze turned to rest on Selina for a long moment as she took another swig of milk.

Selina smothered her gratification and gave her head an innocent shake. "What?"

He sighed and replaced the glass. "Why are you here, Selina?"

"Hey! No changing the subject. I asked you first."

"What?"

She sat up and threw her hands in the air. "How. Was. Your. Date?"

Jim scoffed, shaking his head as he retrieved the glass and filled it with water instead. His ears were positively pink, now. "You're in my house, without permission, sitting on my couch, drinking my milk, and you want to know how my date went?"

"Fair's fair, Detective." She set the milk on the couch's wooden arm and crossed her arms, leaning back into the cushions. "I asked you first."

Jim made a face that Selina decided to refer to the "Really? Very mature" face. She tucked it away for potential future use and enjoyed his exasperated sigh as he ran a hand over his face and leaned back against the counter. His cheeks were pink, now, too. Oh, yes. Selina dug her heels in.

"Listen, man. Homeless kids ain't got TVs. We gotta get our entertainment somewhere." She gave an inward flinch. Bringing up the homelessness was a mistake. Fortunately, Jim seemed sufficiently annoyed by her persistence to ignore that part.

"Fine, fine. It was good."

She waited expectantly.

He didn't continue.

"Seriously? That's it? Details, my dude."

He rolled his eyes and gave a shrug that was probably supposed to look casual. "We had a good time. It was nice."

"Wow. You are really bad at this. I hope you're not this boring on your dates."

"My dates don't show up in my house uninvited and drink my milk."

"So that's what has you all bent outta shape! Look, man, if it's that big of a deal to you, here. Let me—" She grabbed the bottle up and popped the cap back on, holding it out to Jim as she licked away the residual mustache.

She savored the way his nose wrinkled. "No. Please. By all means, just…" He trailed off, waving his hand in dismissal.

"Suit yourself." She popped the cap off again. "So, are you gonna tell me about her? What's she like?"

"No one's taught you it's not polite to pry into other people's affairs, have they?"

"Who cares about polite? What's her name?"

It was Jim's turn to throw up his hands. "You know what? Alright. Fine. Her name is Lee. She's a doctor. She's kind, smart as they come, and has this smile that just...lights up her face."

Selina watched, wide-eyed, as Jim's expression transformed from deadpan to...worshipful. Gross.

"Lights up the whole room, really. She's great. She's nice. We ate pasta and had a nice time, even though I made a mess by leading with work-talk. I think it might actually—" Jim stopped abruptly, frowning as if surprised at his own speech.

"Wow." Selina shook her head. "Wow."

Jim grit his teeth. "What."

"Nothing, nothing. Just...Gotham's golden boy's got it bad."

The water in Jim's glass sloshed as he threw his arms out in exasperation. "This is only the second time we've gone out. I don't even know if it's gonna work, yet."

"Uh-huh. You were practically making heart eyes. I might puke."

"Yeah? The bathroom's that way. And I'm not Gotham's golden boy." He dragged a chair in front of the couch and straddled it, arms resting across the back. "Alright. Like you said—fair is fair. Why are you here?"

Selina pulled a rolled-up newspaper from her jacket and chucked it at him.

He caught it against his chest and unrolled it to read the headline. "Oh."

GOTHAM'S GOLDEN BOY VOWS TO TRACK DOWN ANACONDA KILLER.

"Yeah. Oh." Selina blew a curl out of her eyes. "You know, you really gotta stop doin' that."

Jim looked up from the article. "Doing what?"

"Oh, I don't know—telling serial killers you're after them? Why not just put a sign on your back that says, 'Snake food! Come and get it! Four out of five vets recommend me!'"

"Ah. Well, I appreciate your concern, but you don't need to worry about me. And I don't think you came here just to warn me off."

"Nah. I came here to tell you I know where he's holed up."

The reaction was instant. Jim leaned forward, eyes on her with a focus so intense, it was all she could do not to squirm. "Where is he?"

"Down, boy. Take it easy. There's an old apartment complex on my block. No one's been in it for years 'cause it looks like it'll topple like a Jenga tower if you so much as sneeze. Anywhere else, it would have been torn down ages ago, but—"

"—it's Gotham." Jim was standing now, searching around his desk and coming up with a pen and paper. "Address?"

He pulled out his phone and made a call, letting it ring as he jotted down the address she gave. "Harvey? We got a lead." He sighed, shoulders slumping a little. "I know. No, I know. I know, Harvey, but—Harvey. Harvey?" Jim made a face and flipped the phone closed. He stared down at it for a moment before shaking his head and darting back into his room. He returned less than a minute later, tie back in place, arms full of his holster, jacket, and shoes.

Selina sat up straighter. "Wait—you're going after him now?"

Jim looked at her as if he'd forgotten she was there. "Yeah."

"Even though your partner just told you he wasn't coming." At Jim's look, she continued. "No, I wasn't eavesdropping. It was fairly obvious what went down. So, this is why you always look like you haven't slept in a week. You actually don't sleep. It's all so clear now."

He shrugged into his holster, then his jacket, rolling his shoulders to settle them in place. "How'd you know where he was, anyway?"

"His snake got one of my cats."

Jim looked up from tying his shoes. "You saw it?"

"Ayup."

"You're lucky it didn't get you."

"Yeah, yeah. It's stupid to go in there alone. You should wait for your partner."

"I'll consider it." He waved the address in the air. "Thanks for the tip."

With that, he was out the door and Selina was left to listen to his hurried steps as they echoed down the stairs. She shook her head. Four flights. The fire escape was much faster. Draining the last of the milk, she stood, swung her legs over the windowsill, and leaped out into the Gotham night.

A/N: You’ll never guess what next issue is about!

If you said, “It’s about Jim and Selina going after the Anaconda Killer” you’re exactly right! Good job, you smart cookie.

So, I am currently recovering from typhoid, and my brain was super foggy when I wrote this one. So yeah. If it’s terrible, I blame the typhoid. :P

Follow @thatdarncatchronicles​ and #thatdarncat (no spaces!) to never miss an issue! Next issue up soon. :)

Oh! Also, you are doing great.Yes. You are doing great at life. And if you know you aren’t doing your best--no stress! There’s always tomorrow, and you’re growing and learning just like every other person on the face of the planet. Like me. And my 50 y/o father who told me the other day that he still just feels like he’s pretending to be an adult. He’s really good at it. You will be, too. This is all gibberish, but the point I’m trying to make is that as long as you’re doing just fabulously, and you’re on your way to doing even better. Remember to drink your water today. Hydration is important and makes your skin prettyful. Also, I love you. Peace out, gorgeous soul.

Issue No. 1 | Of Spaghetti and Sneezes:

https://thatdarncatchronicles.tumblr.com/post/620372790294528001/that-darn-cat-issue-no-1-of-spaghetti-and

Issue No. 2 | A Hint of Pesto Aioli:

https://thatdarncatchronicles.tumblr.com/post/620559916396052480/that-darn-cat-issue-no-2-a-hint-of-pesto

[leech-bby]

this isnt my body

too old

and too young

female? no

male? no

too small

too big

its wrong its all wrong wverything is wrong was i pretty? am i pretty? prettyness doesnt mean anything but i mean nothing if im not pretty i want to be oretty

was i pretty?

did i get less pretty?

when she left

or more?

was she bad

or good

is he bad

or good

am i pretty

or not

am i old

or young

im not human im not human im not human im not real

im fake

im more than this body im too big for this bodythis body is huge im too small i dont fit

i dont fit

idont fit

face body hair its all

wrong

my hair is the wrong colour its the wrongnlengty

if i cut it its too short

if i grow its too long

its too long now and its too short

i dont want it

idont want a face i dont wannt any of this its all wrong i miss her

[l-jen]

Good bye LA 🚀

After living in nyc for some time and enjoying the city life, I wanted to re experience it again in LA after moving back home. Sad about the covid situation. I will miss the liveliness, city stars, prettyful cafes, rooftop adventures, and random late night outings ☺️ I hope it resolves soon but in the meantime back to 🍊 County 🌊

Warwick - LA