#miss owen I am so glad that you wrote this book I will love you forever for the representation you stuffed into vanja

[ethereal-maia]

hahaha

look what I did instead of sleeping

I love this book with my whole heart and I simply cannot wait until may 16th for painted devils I am so so so excited

[supercalime]

The Edge of Great Commentary

I FINALLY READ THE EDGE OF GREAT BOOK! and boy it was a book. That I read. With words and everything. Here is my commentary, yall. Hope you enjoy my rambling

- okay, cocky luke was not what I was expecting

- Also, it’s stated that the FOUR OF THEM are brothers. Bobby is innocent, kids

- The way luke thinks of bobby here makes it so much worst knowing his betrayal

- Julie bb, I just wanna hug you!

- Petitioner julie to always call Luke “floppy”

- Micol, I get you have to condense stuff and I get this was written before they shot the show, obviously, but i still miss scenes we saw but are not written here! I hope this version of the book gets rewritten once we get a season 2, so we can get the extra scenes

- Wake up taking place in Alex’s pov is something that can be so personal

- Okay, I like the change that the show made to actually have them say Alex is gay, good on them

- Okay let’s stan the book for painting therapy in a positive light! Julie claiming it’s helpful is really good for their young audience

- I love getting confirmation that julie is a Harry styles fan. As she should

- Also, bisexual julie is basically canon here at this point. We stan

- Reggie pov!!!!!

- Reggie already loves her. We love to see it

- Oh my god! It’s the willex first meeting! Everybody calm down!!!!

- Sure, we don’t get “he’s cute, huh” but boy! We got “I’m around. Come find me. Even if you don’t have questions.” That is fucking cute!

- Flynn pov!!!!

- I love Flynn so much you guys. It’s not fair. She’s such a bad bitch, we can’t help but stan

- Museum date! Ahhhhhh

- Interesting that they are separating bobby from Trevor. That might be a clue...

- Mystery solved, yall. Luke was the one who wrote “hi Bobby” in the mirror

- Nick is so insignificant in this book it’s kinda comical

- Willie pov!!!!!

- I wanna personally thank booboo and owen for making the dialogue 90% gayer than it’s intended on text. It really shows how much they care about these characters and their scenes together

- The way we get confirmation that Caleb is basically a cult leader on willies POV really sells how Willie is a victim in all of this

- Dude, you don’t need to point out every time the ghosts “breath”. We’re suspending our disbelief here, it’s fine

- Okay, nick not being able to get his glue stick uncapped is very endearing

- I’m glad that the acapela sorry song is here

- Been so long and now we’re finally free!!!!

- Juke is cute in whatever form huh

- The crime that they CUT perfect harmony!

- Three words: willex angst hurts!

- The fact that we get confirmation of Alex’s feelings during their “break up” scene? We love to see it

- I get that we wouldn’t get the improvised scenes like “girls am I right?” BUT! Excuse me? Cutting edge of great as well? What is wrong with you?? It’s the freaking name of the novel?!

- “A voice I knew and missed” fuck off! Alex’s pov don’t fuck around!

- Don’t fucking tell me that Alex was supposed to say he cared about willie back? We were robbed of that in the show! Kenny!

- P A I N

- Oh. Julie played unsaid Emily to Luke’s parents here. Interesting. I would die if that happened in the show

- I’m so mad we didn’t get a rendition of the “I would have still followed you” scene! It’s crucial for willex! C’mon! We are just getting breadcrumbs here! Gimme the gay!

- Wow. The hug was very disappointing indeed. This book condenses too much. I don’t know what limitations the author had but if that was a choice, she did a terrible job. The characters barely have depth

- The ending was so rushed, christ

- Where’s the angst? The uncertainty?

- I’m not gonna lie, I wish this book was written for a slighter older audience, just so we’d be able to get more depth

- I like that they make it clear that the boys are just tangible but they don’t know how long it’s gonna last

- No cliffhanger that gives me anxiety. That’s...good?

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 16X04

Sorry for the lateness everyone! My friend and I always watch Grey’s on Friday together, but she was away so we watched it on Sunday instead. Okay, now that that’s out of the way onto the recap and review! I liked this episode overall! There were definitely some things that pissed me off about it, but on the whole I liked it.

The beginning of the episode bugged me. Remind me again why I’m supposed to like DeLuca? He’s always trying to get Meredith to play hooky. I hope Bailey does fire him. He deserves it. We then find out via Amelia and Maggie that the website Mer wrote to took her ideas, created a story around it, and attributed it to her! Yikes!

We then cut to an adorable Jolex scene of the two of them laughing in bed as the read Mer’s article. I love them! A trauma comes into Grey Sloan, but the patient refuses treatment because he’s seen the article the website published. Owen has the ambulance take him to Pac North. There’s a continuity error here. Owen says that Pac North is closest. Previously it’s always been stated that Seattle Pres and (pre-merger) Mercy West were the closest hospitals to Grey Sloan. How did Pac North suddenly become closer to Grey Sloan than Seattle Pres?

We find out that from the other residents that after being fired Qadri moved to Michigan to work in a hospital there. Good for her! I’m happy for both her character and the actress, but I will miss her. When Webber shows Alex the article Alex sticks up for Mer and takes her side. Alex is always on Mer’s side not matter what. I love that about him. That’s real friendship right there. The trauma cases in this episode are both horrifying and hilarious at the same time in true Grey’s fashion. The case where a man fell out of a plan onto a random university student and dowsed her boyfriend in blood in particular was really really bizarre! Her poor boyfriend! He is going to need so much therapy after this!

Somehow Bailey names DeLuca Chief Resident after the previous one quits after the article comes out. How is DeLuca Chief Resident? He can barely do his job! Plus, Bailey won’t even listen to him as he tries to tell her the real story! Shaking my head. Bailey was a annoying this season and is being a real jerk this season. She’s getting really hard to like. Also DeLuca’s character continues to be extremely inconsistent. It seems like they just write whatever they want to fit the moment regardless of whether that makes sense or not.

Tom is a complete ass this episode and he went way way too far! I loved his character last season and was super excited when he was made a regular. Now I don’t like him at all. He’s a jerk with no depth. Having his heartbroken has really done a number on this guy! Not that his behaviour is Teddy’s fault mind you he’s choosing to be a jerk. This storyline also seems odd considering Tom is a father, lost his child, and was excited to be Allison’s step dad. Why is he okay torturing this kid and her family for publicity?

I loved that they included Cristina in this episode and showed her and Mer texting! ‘Move to Switzerland before Bailey kills you in your sleep!’ Haha too funny! And she’s right too! It’s nice to see Amelia happy and healthy and to see her, Maggie, and Mer getting along and supporting each other even when they don’t agree. I missed that last season. It’s also nice to see Maggie and Teddy getting along.

And DeLuca’s back to being an ass! He yells at Schmitt for taking a phone call while meanwhile he himself has done tons of illegal and immoral things that were so much worse and completely unjustified. On top of that, Schmitt isn’t doing anything wrong. He’s convincing a patient whose a family member of his to not cancel their surgery. That’s a good thing and good for the hospital. What is DeLuca worried about her exactly? It’s not as if there are reports or people taking pictures of their actions.

The scene with Ben and Bailey made me laugh. Poor Ben! He didn’t know what to do! What he prepped for was not what he got! Also of note, Helm is still infatuated with Meredith. She really needs to let that go! I loved Jackson’s line, “Added bonus!” He really got the best lines in this episode. I also loved his line, “I am the Foundation.” Tell him Jackson!

I was really sad when they lost the freak accident patient. She didn’t deserve that. No one does. Her poor boyfriend. The book the boyfriend talks about at the end appears to be a reference to the best selling novel The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. It’s an excellent book and I highly recommend it.

I loved all of the Link and Amelia scenes! They are hands down my favourite new couple. As Maggie and Amelia comment they are really well matched. Amelia is very high strung and anxious and Link is very calm and sturdy and thus he can calm her down and she can help him see the serious side of things without being such a complete downer. Amelia’s relationship with Owen was always rocky in part because they are both very high strung, damaged, and mentally unwell people.

Link is mentally stable and very relaxed. He’s perfect for Amelia in so many ways. And now that Amelia is finally on the path to wellness and can acknowledge what has happened to her they work! I loved their whole gravity blanket scene. It was so cute! I loved Link’s confession that he loves her and that he wants to tell her and name the feeling because people can fall out of the sky (literally) and accidentally hurt other people so there’s no point trying to avoid pain. Be still my heart!

Towards the end of the episode Alex recruits Owen and thus begins the great Pac North migration! The song cover they use in Jackson’s surgery is really interesting! I’m glad Mer apologized to Bailey, but the question is will it be enough? I’m glad she tried. I liked Owen’s line, “Your high horse has no legs to stand on!” LOL! We find out at the end of the episode the most shocking piece of news yet. That Bailey is both menopausal and pregnant. WTF?!?! What the hell? What is with the pregnancies this season!?!?! I really don’t know what to make of this storyline.

So let’s talk about my favourite part of the episode! It came right at the end when Meredith ran into DeLuca as she was leaving the hospital. She explained what was going on and DeLuca was a completely unsupportive dick head to her and she finally realized that not only does she not need anymore enemies right now SHE DOES NOT NEED THIS CRAP!!! And I was like FUCK YES!!!!!! You’re damn right she doesn’t! Meredith does not need this crap! From anyone! One of my biggest complaints about Derek was how unsupportive and melodramatic he was. And here we have DeLuca doing the exact same thing!

She also realized (finally) that DeLuca doesn’t really know her or get her which has been an issue from the beginning. He likes the idea of Meredith not the reality. The reality is messy and complicated and comes with a lot of baggage which includes kids, a dead husband, nosy sisters, a best friend that hates him, and a big family of people who are largely indifferent to his existence. For the love of God, let this be the breakup!!!! Let this be the end! Please!

Onto next week! It looks like Bailey tries to break the news to Ben, but he’s out cold! And Meredith FINALLY verbalizes what we’ve all been saying about DeLuca!!! Thank goodness! Amelia realizes she’s needs to get to know Link and his family better and Richard and Gemma have breakfast and things get intimate! Oh boy!

Until next time!

[kclenhartnovels]

Flirt Tag Game

I was tagged in the flirt game forever ago by @knightedwriter, and I looked through Vendave and realized I had no good flirt scenes. This was a problem I had to remedy. So I asked, Constantine and Delgos, or Samantha and Alastair?

And of course Ri said both, because she's a jerk. So I wrote a new scene for Con/Delgos, then as I was deciding on a scene for Samantha/Alastair, my dumb ass remembered that they were 100% flirting the first time they met, and I can use that.

Writing below the cut.

Constantine and Delgos

“Father's been getting worse,” Constantine noted quietly, leaning his shoulder against Delgos as he dangled his feet into the river.

“I think it's all in your head,” the guard soothed, tucking an arm around his middle and pulling the Prince closer to him. “You worry too much, Con.”

“Losing Rockwood—”

“Will you stop obsessing over it?” He frowned, pressing his lips to the top of Constantine's head. “For once, stop thinking about the kingdom. Enjoy the quiet out here.”

He sighed, perhaps more dramatically than he intended, closing his eyes and leaning his cheek into Delgos' shoulder. The summer heat hadn't hit in full force yet, the leaves of the grove around them rustling in the lazy wind. Insects buzzed in a low hum, and despite his pressing concerns, Constantine found himself falling limp against his guard.

“I don't know what else to think about,” he admitted after a moment, whining more than he had intended.

Delgos slid a hand under his chin, tilting up his head. Before Constantine could open his eyes, he kissed him gently, nothing more than a quick peck. The Prince felt heat flush his cheeks, and he sputtered a moment, looking up to Delgos.

“Someone will—”

“See?” Delgos finished for him, before looking around the empty forest. “Who, the birds?” Before Constantine could reply, he stole another kiss, then peppered a trail of them along Constantine's jaw until he found his ear.

“Stop,” Constantine laughed, but his fingers curled into the guard's shirt, pulling him closer. “I thought I told you never to kiss me again.”

“No,” he corrected, nuzzling against his cheek, “you kissed me, then told me never to do it again. I just assumed you were telling yourself.”

Constantine willed his blush to fade. “It's hot out here,” he evaded.

“Do you want to go back to the castle?”

He studied Delgos' face, watching the way the sun dappled through the trees, marking irresistible patterns across his skin. He leaned forward, catching his lips in a kiss somewhere between desperate and adoring. “Not yet.”

Alastair and Samantha

[This is before rewrites, so the writing has its problems. There is also a slur used in it, and the character is not corrected until later in the book. For context, this is a ball thrown at Valerian's estate, because that's all he does. This is the first time they've met, but the second song they're dancing to.]

“Sir,” Samantha murmured, moving a bit closer to the knight as they danced, “I did not mean to offend earlier. Forgive me.”

“Nonsense, you did no such thing, I assure you.” Alastair bowed his head briefly, offering her a weak but honest smile. “I just haven’t been feeling myself of late. I beg your pardon.”

“There is no need to beg for anything, then. Or we shall be forgiving each other all night.”

“Perhaps so.” His eyes softened as he spun her away from him, catching her by the fingertips to draw her back in.

“Most knights, I’ve learned,” she went on, “don’t know how to dance. At least not well. They’re far more awkward than you.”

“Most ladies I’ve met have nowhere near your wit and knowledge. It is a pleasant change. Since I have come here, Lord Valerian has insisted that I learn what he deems necessary. I’m afraid if you had seen me at his harvest festival, it would have been quite a different story.”

“I imagine so. Had we met then, we would never have been dancing. My husband never would have allowed it.”

“You’re married?” For a moment, Alastair looked around, as if trying to pin which man had her, but surely Valerian would have mentioned her husband, if she still had one? Count on him to leave out something so important.

“I was,” she corrected with a reassuring smile. “He disappeared last month. Just vanished. He had taken his pet falcon with him, though--we think something might have happened to him on the hunt, but we never found a body or anything, even after tracking him for days with hounds and men.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She shook her head, a few blond curls already falling loose from the pinned pile on her head. “I’m officially a widow, with his land and wealth in my name, and my son Owen to be his heir. My father would be turning in his grave to hear me speak like this, but I hated that man. He was rough and uncouth, and his only assets were in land. And I mean only.” With a defiant smile she spun away from him again, before dancing back into his reach.

“I am happy for you, then.”

“From what Valerian tells me, you have a daughter?” she asked, laying one hand on his shoulder again. “Are you married then?”

“No,” he shook his head, glancing towards the corridor. Down the hall, Catherine and Valerie would be sitting together popping nuts over a fire and listening to stories from their nanny. “I found her, not long before I came here. She was wandering lost and alone outside of Rivel. Her parents had been captured and killed there. I couldn’t leave her.”

“Of course not! I’m so happy for you. Children really are a blessing. How old is she?”

“Seven or eight years now, I believe. She’s with Valerian’s daughter right now. They’ve gotten along together very well.”

She laughed softly, pulling him to the side and clapping as the song ended. “Let’s get something to drink, it’s awfully dry in here. And that doesn’t surprise me. I’ve met Valerie a few times, and I must say, she takes after her father. A sweet little girl, but so quiet since her mother became ill. Have you heard anything of how she’s doing?”

“The Lady? No, I haven’t.” He took her arm to lead her to the long table. He didn’t miss Kamin’s grin, but chose to ignore it. “I’ve yet to see her, in fact. Valerian has told me that she never leaves their bedroom any longer, and is under constant supervision. He’s tried everything he can think of.”

She tsked. “It’s almost cruel to keep the poor woman like that, but I can’t imagine much else could be done aside from killing her, and I know Valerian would never think of that. I don’t know if he could bear it. Even through all this, he loves her--he still talks of her often.” She paused, then chuckled. “Then again, he talks of everything often, so I suppose I can’t single her out to much, bless his heart.”

Alastair took a small goblet of warm spiced wine for both of them. For a while, they sat in comfortable silence, watching the party. Kamin slipped through the crowds, somewhat drunken laughter following after him.

“Do you know him?” she asked finally, as the jester was wrangled back in by Jinx, slung over the acrobat’s shoulders like a dead deer and hanging gamely onto his hat.

“Yes. Well, to some extent. I met him in Rivel when I was with Catherine a few months ago. I ran into him again earlier in the week when his troupe came into town.” The knight smiled fondly, watching as Valerian slipped up to his minstrels, no doubt to request some song or performance. Kamin laughed and nodded, still hanging from his friend’s back. “It seems Valerian has finally warmed up to them. I’m glad of that.”

“They’re gypsies, aren’t they?” She gave a suspicious frown, turning over one of the rings on her fingers. “Did he know that?”

“Not when he first hired them. Don’t fear, though, they don’t live up to their reputations. Few of them do, that I’ve met.”

“And the ones who might, I think, would be wise enough to avoid conning a knight.”

“Indeed.” Alastair smiled, laughing quietly as the troupe went at it again.

“You sound as if you do not laugh often enough,” Samantha noted.

“I haven’t had a reason to for some time,” he admitted. “Not this freely, at least.”

She laid a hand on his knee. “Well then, I pray the reasons will continue.”

I’m not going to tag anyone for this game, but if you decide to do it, please @ me!

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 8- “Slytherin is dead, hoes mad, what's new”-Autumn

ALRIGHT professors I was sitting really pretty and y'all really had to go put me with these people I haven't been on a tribe with... -_- okay, I've been on a tribe with Kevin but what if he, Dan and Joanna have some kind of power alliance, I feel like a sitting duck!!  THIS... is not cute lol. But on the more positive side I feel like Dan, Kevin and Joanna are all really strong players and maybe we can skate by without going to any tribal councils. Also, I feel like poor Max is a goner because I think he's grounded again. I just really hope that Lily makes it out of this alive!  I feel the same about Landen and even Owen (as long as he doesn't come for me, LOL jk love you) but at the moment Lily is the person I want to see at the end of this game!! 

4 minutes later

I was about to go to bed before all this happened... now catch me jumping into everyones PM's...  I swear, I NEVER talk to everyone like I have been in this game, I really want to do good and make it far and I'm stressed that this swap is going to send me packing! 

23 minutes later

So I have this OCD thing where I can't log off of skype until I answer all my messages and these people reply too fast, especially Joanna.  But okay, I'm feeling REALLY good about this tribe.  Everyone is nice and talkative and obviously I'm going to be on the bottom and the easy vote but....  Kevin seems happy enough to see me so maybe if we do have to worry about tribal I won't be in danger????   I like them all a lot though and I like that Joanna is a Harry Potter superfan so I can talk about books and movies with her. 

Your girl got too hopeful that it was merge. Can there just be like one round of this and he t to merge already, plzzzzzz?  Also. 1. Very pleased to still be on hufflepuff 2. Love that I’m still with landen. I overall really trust landen at least for a while and in this current moment. Things can change especially with me still paranoid about actually knowing 5 people now 4 (we miss you Jess) people in the game when I told landen I only knew 2. Sooo. Really excited to have to opportunity to talk with autumn again. She is a tru icon and it will be nice to catch up. And I’m laughing and loving that I’m still on a tribe with Owen. After clearly voting for him in the last tribal I’m gonna have to really talk to him in PMs now. I feel like the 4 of us could be a really strong tribe and hopefully do well at whatever the next immunity is but I can’t count on that. I know landen has my back but after voting for Owen at the last tribal it would make a tribal with us 4 realllll interesting. Excited for what is to come and trying to remain positive despite having my heart ripped out without merge. Hoping this next challenge is a fun one or Casanova because I’d love to start playing again. Haha. 

me: I'll never leave Gryffindor for Hufflepuff and you can't make me 

also me: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/57/88/40/57884096081b0494e51028e2942bfefd.

gif Totally forgot the part where Hufflepuff doesn't lose? Soooo maybe this is good- I can play nice with all my frenemies, we can kick back a bit before I have to slit throats, and it'll just be all good. I mean it needs to be all good cause I have a thesis to finish sooooo this back to back tribal energy has to stop I rebuke it. I also rebuke it because then I'm GUARANTEED next boot and I'll be damned. But yeah it's nice over here, everybody's all happy and relaxed and shit. It's truly a vibe and don't tell Gryffindor I said that hahaha also lmao at Jacob giving me my first vote because we been knew! And there is literally nothing that men can surprise me with at this point so go for it. Not to mention everyone wanted Jacob out, literally the entire time which is why the vote was unanimous?? There was just an order of operations and I respected that; hence why it took it so long. Me being the first to say Jacob's name four rounds ago wasn't earth shattering then or now but sure I'll take the credit for it. I said his name before it became cool to say his name but it did actually manifest lol so I'm good over here. Slytherin is dead, hoes mad, what's new

I was so blackout I don't even remember if I wrote a confessional last night... ANYWAY, we swapped!!! I'll talk about that more in a second, but can we first just take another second to STAN JACOB C GETTING VOTED OUT!!! I knew the psychic telepathic messages I was sending to Kevin would have my cute bb getting rid of Jacob for me, what an ANGEL. I stan One Kevin and ONE KEVIN ONLY. I'm so happy Jacob is gone because I know he would've come for me at the merge, not only that but he would've been an independent variable I wasn't prepared to deal with getting thrown into the mix of the war of houses and cross-tribal alliances that's about to probably go down. Onto the swap! Putting us into 3 tribes of 4 was SO ugly, you know that.... I'm literally going to kill Dan for even putting that out into the universe, I know it was already decided but it's still his fault for cursing and jinxing it. NEGATIVE VIBES. That being said, I also got onto Hufflepuff for the 3rd time in a row, which is GREAT because Hufflepuff is basically the blessed tribe and the BEST tribe! You all know I'm the ultimate Hufflepuff and now I have the tribal record to prove it. Not only that, but I've got to spend 3 tribal stages with Lily and I've honestly just gotten really close to her, I really appreciate talking to her about life, college, friendships, travel, hobbies, etc. She has a great strategic mind and is so wonderful socially. I just can't make it clear enough how much I enjoy and respect her as a friend and ally in this game. You always need a constant in Survivor and for me, Lily is that constant. So ending up on a tiny tribe of 4 where 2 votes means literally half the vote and a whole world of difference, having Lily and I together means a lot to me. It also means, bar any crazy spells, Lily and I have a lot of power and influence on this tribe should we go to tribal (which I won't allow, I'll kill all 8 people on the other tribes if I fucking have to. I am NOT going to tribal with 4 people in a game where spells and advantages run rampant. Someone's getting swapfucked.) As for the other 2 people on this tribe, I'm really glad we got Owen, actually. I know that probably comes off as a surprise and yes I am very nervous about what he might do to try and come for me and Lily if we go to tribal (hence why we CANNOT go), but like I said in my confessional last round, doing damage control with Owen and getting a better read on his game is going to be essential for my survival during the merge, he needs to feel comfortable with me. We both fell asleep that day and didn't catch each other at the right time to talk about it, so I'm *REALLY* glad I swapped with him to just have a few extra days to sort of nail things down. Of course that also brings me to Autumn who I'm just really really glad to have here for the same reason as Owen. I discussed how Autumn was a crucial vote I'm going to need, in that I want to work with her and Juls moving forward and I need to get to know her. Autumn and I have already bonded over a lot of things and it's been great to talk to her, I can't wait to get to know her even better and hopefully work with her in the future. This tribe was set up perfectly for me to use it as a vantage point for setting up an excellent merge; but I can't deny that in terms of going to tribal, it's going to be VERY difficult to survive and also VERY difficult to vote someone out who I deem essential to my game, so yeah... I'm really hoping we don't go. With the challenge performance record of the 4 that are here I don't think it's going to be hard to avoid an immunity loss, so that's good. Looking forward to what the future holds! Marshmallow moves! 

new tribes hm.. um, only happy to see jules <3 jk i love chips and max BSSBSN but mac is grounded so i see this taking a toll on some of these challenges, and i literally Cannot see myself voting out jules of chips so uh. hehe! it’s really funny that chips and i have been together since the beginning though, the way i would literally die for that man.. unreal. he’s just the absolute sweetest :pleading: but in another note, WOO! made jury bitches! now all i need is these tribes to merge and i am SET. 

Seriously this entire tribe responds SO fast I can't keep up, LOL. I'm excited for the challenge tomorrow.  I really think that we are going to have an advantage because these people are literally always around and typing something when I send a message so maybe we'll win.   Also, I'm not sharing this with them but if Max is still grounded that might give us ANOTHER advantage of him not posting stuff.  I don't want to tell them this and for them to all get lazy though, so.. I wish these people would stop asking questions in the tribe chat so I could finish my search, grrr. I don't want to sign this off until I finish in case I find something because I want to write about it! I'm really sad that Lily and I aren't on the same tribe anymore, I copy and pasted the spreadsheet we've been using to search to a separate one since we can't compare notes this round -_- grrr nothing, okay I'm heading to bed but at least I know I have enough confessionals this round. 

This challenge makes me want to die

16 minutes later

I refuse to lose this challenge. Will I be going to "school" on 4 hours of sleep? Yes. But I haven't missed a single one since 10 am (and as i'm writing this is 1 am). I'm not losing this challenge. I'm not voting these people out.

1 hour later

another hour.... another chunk of my sanity gone

50 minutes later

I AM SUFFERING

So like we all know by now, I have a big mouth and told my tribe about Max getting grounded shortly before the swap.  No idea if he still is or not but that would be nice for this challenge. Also if I woke up at 3:45 AM and we lose I'm going to be MAD!! 

5 hours later

UGH look at me actually talking a lil in the great hall instead of sleeping, I missed Landen :( PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET.  US.  MERGE! 

the way i stayed up 24 hours...only missed TWO...and still lost because NO ONE ELSE PUT THE CONSISTENCY AND EFFORT THAT I DID....if these people vote me out it's riggamorris....yall better give me most robbed juror....or cutest harry potter fan that's fine with me too EWFJIWEJIWF

WE WON!!! THE SUFFERING WASN'T IN VAIN!!! I'M SO HAPPY

So I feel like I contributed a lot to the last challenge but shout out to Kevin and Joanna for fucking holding it down over night! I definitely still contributed the least so I’m blessed that we won! I’m really praying for merge tonight, but I really feel like there’s gonna be one last round and a merge at 10. I’m worried that another person will join the jury that I don’t have a great relationship with. But at the same time, I don’t want Jules to be voted out because I do feel like she is loyal to me. I’m hoping chips goes honestly ahhaha we NEVER have a great relationship in games. OH and I have such a soft spot for Ruthie, like I love her spirit and her energy, but she also knows I can get to the end and have a good shot at winning (RIP @ me getting robbed in TS: RvR a few months ago). She is someone I want to keep close because she’s GREAT socially, where I’m not, but I’m also keeping an eye on her bc I played her last time. 

If this isn’t the last tribal before merge I might lose it. Now will be the time to tell if my lack of experience in tribals will bite me in the butt. Excited to see what this advantage is tonight as well. Hoping that max isn’t voted out just yet as I see him as someone who would vote with me and be honest with me in merge. I also think some people might want to vote him out before myself or another one of my allies so he would be helpful to have around. I still feel the strongest trust with Ruthie and landen. I hope it’s a while before they would want to turn on each other. I need to touch base with Kevin and see where he is at. I also think chips and juls would be really great allies in this game despite voting differently at the tribal we attended together. I’m ready for the next stage of the game and if it isn’t time for that yet I might go crazy. 

I HATE IT HERE! I HATE THIS FOUR PERSON TRIBE THING AND HOW MAX WANTS JULES OUT! i don’t think anyone understands that i would literally lay down my life for jules and i refuse to let them go anywhere. literally Not on my fucking watch!!!! this vote is literally gonna kill me and max is like i trust you the most :heart: well yea.. because u know ur in danger.. funny how this is the first time we’ve talked game NNN. anyways. i live max but in order for jules to thrive he’s gotta go!

WE WON IMMUNITY !!!!! I DIDNT STAY UP FOR 24 HOURS FOR NOTHING !!!! I AM SO HAPPY !!!!! I hope the merge is after this 

It's like I just single-handedly annihilated, you know, every ORG bitch in the building Like, like, I'm Julesy Minaj, Julesy Lewinsky, Julesy the Ninja, Julesy the Boss, Julesy the Harajuku Barbie Like I mean I don't even know why you girls bother at this point! Like, give it up, it's me! I win! You lose HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh shit hahaha, yo

[youremyonlyhope]

Stranger Things 3

Episode 8. This is it!

It was originally going to be in a post with episode 7 like the rest of the episodes were paired up, but it got too long.

And seriously some people may pretend that Season 2 has only 8 episodes because they hated the Lost Sister so much, but 8 episodes did not feel like enough after 9 last time.

Update: I edited the post on mobile and apparently deleted the cutoff without noticing. So. I really hope for the hour or so it wasn’t there that I didn’t spoil anyone.

…So.

After that opening, I paused. Got up. Shakily walked down the stairs to tell my mom that this was one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen. I literally watched that opening with my hands half covering the screen. And then I drank a full glass of water and ate some mango. And now I’m back. I broke my rule of not writing while watching in order to write this. Now back to the episode. Ew.

Now that I’ve finished the episode, before I write down my thoughts scene by scene, I want to say. My final verdict is: Exit Wounds.

But let’s go through the moments in the episode first before I get into that. And I lied, I did pause a few times, but only to write a couple words to help jolt my memory later.

Yeah so that opening. Disgusting. But I already wrote what I thought. Hopper and El were holding hands with the little blue hairband around her hand and his thumb. My heart. I love it. Murray’s Russian plan was a good one. I guess Hopper’s was the faster solution though. At this point I wrote down “Family lesbian nerd mom collarless“ And I was basically trying to make a joke. “Sometimes a family can be a mom with great hair, a lesbian sailor, a black girl nerd, and collarless boy.” Or did Steve call Dustin boneless? I can’t remember. But yeah that was my joke. Oh poor El’s powers. I hope she’s ok. AANNNNNDDDD IT’S HERE. Can Terminator Dude just stop. Joyce and Hopper agreed to go on a date. This is important for my Exit Wounds theory that started to kind of form around now. The moment they agreed I was like oh god here we go. I love that they called themselves the Scoops Troop. Very cute. So much anxiety while they tried to run from the Mind Flayer. Steve to the rescue again!!!! It’s not a Stranger Things season if Steve doesn’t swoop in at the last second to save them. Usually from Billy. I think that Dustin and Suzie singing was cute, but also completely random. But it led to another instance of a girl saving the day. Which I love. (Also it was something I was spoiled for since YouTube suggested a video called something like “The meaning behind Dustin and Suzie’s song!” and I was like oh ok so now I’ve been spoiled that she’s real. Cool.) Can Terminator Dude just stop. I wrote down “Terminator wrists visible” when he started fighting Hopper. Because if he is a sibling of Eleven, which I think he is, then he’d have a number tattoo on his wrist. We haven’t really seen his wrists up until now (besides in the hall of mirrors). And I was convinced we were about to get a flash of a “001″ or a “002.” (Wait… if there was a number shown in the mirror and I missed it… I’ll be mad.) I wrote down “Billy sacrifice?” when he picked up El. Especially because he seemed kind of gentle when he transferred her from carrying her fireman style to bridal style. I was wondering if Billy was actually giving El over or if he was about to sacrifice himself to save them. The Billy memory scene was super emotional. And I was glad the fireworks came in handy. Once Hopper and Terminator ended up by the machine, I wrote down “Hopper=Exit Wounds” because I had a bad feeling it was gonna be an Exit Wounds situation. Or I guess more accurately a Reset situation. Joyce and Hopper finally agreed to go on a date, an actual date, and then one (or both) die. I realize now that even though I wrote down Exit Wounds, Reset’s probably more accurate. BUT the Exit Wounds still ends up fitting. We’ll get there. Both Billy and Hopper dying made my eyes get wet. But I didn’t cry. I did not cry. My eyes were just wet. And I was proud of myself at this point. OH THANKS A LOT DR. OWENS. RIGHT ON TIME TO COVER IT ALL UP BUT NOT TO HELP THEM STOP IT. THANKS A LOT. I mean, yeah fine it’s good to have you since this is hard to explain and you’re the one military person they can trust so yeah, thanks, BUT I STILL WISH YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN THERE EARLIER. COME ON. I did not cry over Eleven’s reaction either. I literally thought to myself “Oh, if they hold this shot of her starting to cry I’m gonna cry too” then it cut to black. And I was like ok cool I didn’t cry. Ha. Creepy arcade dude now has a job at the video store. Good for him. Look at these three Broadway Babies singing on Stranger Things. Yay. The other thing I’d been spoiled for was El saying I love you back to Mike. Oh well. I could have been spoiled for much worse things.

Now here’s where this becomes Exit Wounds. Message from Hopper from the beyond that he wrote before he died. Just like Tosh. And just like Tosh, it made me shed a tear. But then the full on crying started when I saw Will’s face and he was crying saying goodbye to everyone. Will is my child. If he cries then I cry. And then we got all the kids crying and I was like oh god this hurts and I kept crying. Then Mike hugged his mom like he did in Season 1 after seeing the body and I was like no this throwback hurts (HA. LITTLE DID I KNOW.). Max crying over Billy made me cry more. I didn’t even like Billy but I didn’t want him to die! I’m glad he got some sort of redemption. But I wish it didn’t cost him his life. He deserved better. Then Dustin and Lucas gave Erica all of Will’s D&D books and I just knew they were in the box before they opened it and I started crying even HARDER because encouraging black girls to be nerds! My heart. And Hopper called himself “your poor old dad” and I had just been thinking earlier when they held hands that she doesn’t call him dad yet he is her dad and now we know he considered himself her dad and everything was hurting ok!?!?!?

And then.

Netflix gave me the single most heartbreaking caption it could give me.

[“Heroes” by Peter Gabriel playing]

AND. I. LOST. IT. I thought I’d already lost it at this point. I really thought I’d already lost it. I didn’t know I could lose it more than I’d already lost it. Before then I was literally ugly sobbing but trying to stay quiet since my mom was home and hasn’t seen it yet. Once I read that caption and heard the song I literally started hitting my couch over and over again and rocking back and forth and crying even harder. Gasping sobs. Ugly sobs. I haven’t cried this hard in so long.

When the Uhaul truck closed, I heard my front door open and knew my brother was home so I started frantically wiping my face on my shirt and tried to stop crying since my brother hasn’t seen this either and I don’t want to spoil him that this finale is cry worthy.

And then the episode ended. And it was Exit Wounds all over again. A couple agrees to date, one (or both) dies, and one leaves behind an emotional note about how much they love the ones they care about. I am not ok.

The season may have started slow, but it’s the only season to make me cry so automatically I love it.

BUT I’VE BEEN SAYING SINCE DAY ONE THAT IF THEY KILLED OFF HOPPER I WILL RIOT. SO WHO WANTS TO JOIN ME. LET’S GO KILL THE DUFFER BROTHERS.

OH AND BILLY. WE WENT NEARLY FULLY ZUKO REDEMPTION WITH BILLY. SAD BACKSTORY. SELF SACRIFICE. I AM HURTING. WHY DID THIS SHOW MAKE ME CRY OVER BILLY?

My one complaint of this season: not NEARLY enough Will. What did we get to see Will do? Have his spidey sense go off a bit? Then he cried at the end? COMPLETE WASTE OF NOAH’S TALENTS. WE SHOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM AN EMMY LAST SEASON. But David Harbour has the Emmy secured this time so I guess that’s fine.

Yeah. So. I feel drained. I’m glad I didn’t force myself to stay up last night to finish the show because I would have been too tired to do it. Now I’m just emotionally tired. Help.

WAIT WHAT THERE’S AN AFTER CREDIT’S SCENE. WAIT A SECOND. I only noticed because my mouse hovered over the bar and I saw a frame. Ok gonna watch it.

“Not the American” BUT WHAT AMERICAN? COULD HOPPER BE ALIVE? I had thought to myself “I’m glad they didn’t show us Hopper exploding like the others.” BUT WHAT IF HE HADN’T EXPLODED? WHAT IF HE WAS TELEPORTED OR SOMETHING. No. I think I’m just in the denial stage and grasping at straws. Of course it’s a Demadog. Oh wait, I guess a fully grown Demagorgon. Great.

While watching the scene, I was scared it would show that Hopper was still alive and I was glad that I didn’t know it existed so I could put all my emotions over his death into writing before finding out he was alive. But he’s not alive. As far as we know. So all the emotions are still the same with maybe just a little hope that he’s the American.

Update: My mom heard me crying. She says "It better not be one of the three boys. Not the little black Lion King boy. It better not be Sheriff Dad." And I just laughed nervously the whole time she talked about who she didn't want to die.

[geekade]

Geekade Top Ten: Neil Gaiman Long Form Fiction

It’s a great time to be Neil Gaiman. His latest book, Norse Mythology, debuted on the New York Times’ bestseller list. American Gods, based on the novel of the same title, debuts on TV next month. And a filmed adaptation of Good Omens is finally in development at Amazon, with the author at the helm. So what better time, then, to celebrate some of his work? Neil Gaiman is a God among book geeks, considered by many, myself included, to be their favorite author. Any entity with so passionate a fan base is bound to be extremely sensitive about a ranking concerning said entity. So it is with great trepidation that I approach this task and ask you all to remember that, while I am doing my best to be objective here, at the end of the day, these are my opinions. I am as entitled to them as you are to yours. Let’s not fight, let’s just love Neil Gaiman and every word that comes out of his brain.

Categorizing Gaiman’s work is tough because his oeuvre is so expansive and varied. I had to limit this somehow and the easiest way was to eliminate his children’s picture books , which I HIGHLY recommend. They are all charming and fun, gorgeously illustrated, and provide excellent alternatives when gift-giving that most parents haven’t seen before and will be glad of the breath of fresh air. I always give Blueberry Girl or Instructions at any baby shower that requests a book instead of a card. I’d say even if there are no children in your life, if you love Neil Gaiman, you’ll enjoy looking at these and possibly donating a copy or two to your local library. In the same vein, his short fiction is out. I am also excluding Norse Mythology by the logic that a retelling is a different animal than long form fiction. (Also I haven't read it yet...sorry). On the other hand, I have decided to include some of his longer juvenile fiction and YA work to round out the list because YA writing is as legit as any work of “adult” fiction. Fight me. Sandman is also in here; although it is a graphic novel, there is enough writing there to qualify it as long form fiction. Also, this series is a gateway drug for many comic fans becoming Gaiman fans; it’s too important not to include. As the man himself wrote, “Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.” So, here we go.

10. Fortunately the Milk - FtM is definitely a juvenile book, but in a much longer form than a picture book. This grand tale, suitable for middle grades readers, tells of wild adventures a Dad gets caught up in, all while out on a mundane errand like buying more milk to go with breakfast. The set up is relatable enough to children to be believable and the fantastic and funny mishaps Dad encounters will crack them up and keep them reading. It’s an excellent way to introduce young readers to the work of a parent’s favorite author.

9. Stardust - Stardust is a love story, Gaiman style. Its most masterful achievements are the fantasy world of Faerie and the rich, non-traditional characters. It provides a lovely twist that flips a traditional fairy tale narrative on its ear. It’s more lighthearted than most of his other works, which isn’t to say it isn’t good, but it is a bit out of his lane. Additionally, many readers find the lead character Tristan grating, thus knocking it this far down on the list. But on a list of works of this quality, good things fall to the bottom. Still very much worth the read.

8 - Coraline - This is Gaiman’s take on a parable, warning of the dangers of wishes. It is at the same time for kids and not for kids. It’s a young adult story, I suppose, but appeals to older adults as well. Gaiman’s guilty many times over of writing unique, realistic children and  putting them in strange and creepy circumstances. He walks the fine line between condescension and understanding, making the characters relatable while still reminding us, often painfully, of our own youth. This story ranks here only because it is a good, but not the best, example of his ability to do so; it’s a rating of the story against other of his stories, not on its own merits, which are excellent.

7 - Ocean at the End of the Lane - Like most of Gaiman’s work, this is a beautiful, dark work of genius. It’s a captivating story of long-forgotten memories unearthed by a visit to a mysterious place from the narrator’s childhood. It’s a book to read to remind you what it’s like to be a child, encouraging you to revisit unexplained, mystical experiences of youth from an adult perspective. As one Goodreads reviewer aptly put it, “In short, it is a Neil Gaiman novel.” It’s not his best or best-known work, but it’s definitely representative of him. It makes a good recommendation for readers who don’t know, but are interested in, his work and for those who know some of his work, but are unfamiliar with this fairly-recent release.

6 - Anansi Boys - This not-quite sequel to American Gods tells the story of Fat Charlie and Spider, children of a deceased God and brothers who never knew each other in their father’s lifetime. Gaiman’s talent for taking a small part of a larger story and blowing it up into its own narrative is part of what makes him such a master. This novel is an excellent example of his ability to create rich worlds and fully fleshed out characters. It also shows off his knack for incorporating mythical elements from oral storytelling traditions of cultures other than his own. It’s a fun, fast read, not quite up to the caliber of some of his greater works, but that’s hardly a criticism.

5 - Neverwhere - This is a great work of modern urban fantasy with possibly Gaiman’s most relatable protagonist, an office worker thrust into a fantastical world beneath the streets of London. It’s a story most of us would imagine (or have imagined) ourselves in, written as only Gaiman can and a world we want to spend far more time in, even after the story is over. As a standalone story, it’s a good entry point into the author’s work, but reader beware, it will leave you wanting more.

4 - The Graveyard Book - Yes, this children’s book is placed awfully high up on the list, but it has won some of the most prestigious awards in literature (notably the Hugo award and the Newbery medal) and quite deservedly so. For one thing, Nobody Owens is a phenomenal protagonist and for another, this is just such a remarkable, fun, exciting story as only Gaiman can tell it. It has the potential to become scary at just about every turn, but thanks to the author’s humor and talent, it never really does. This is truly one to be enjoyed by readers of ALL ages and for that reason, it deserves high placement in the NG canon.

3 - Good Omens - It gives me serious pain not to rank this number one. Not only is it my favorite of Gaiman’s books by far, it is my favorite book, period. But this is a list of his best books, not my favorites, not to mention it’s a co-write with beloved, recently-departed fantasy author Terry Pratchett. Still, if you’ve missed out reading this one, and I find even many diehard fans have, do yourself a favor and correct that IMMEDIATELY. This book is as insightful as it is hilarious. It is a foundational book for me, in terms of my sense of literary appreciation, my humor, and my religious belief system. It’s a tale of the apocalypse gone awry. You can bet your ass I got some serious side-eye when I introduced it in my 10th grade English class as my favorite book, which is kind of the best praise I feel I can give for it and if you understand what I mean, then this book is for you.

2 -Sandman series - If you haven’t already wanted to hang me up by my toenails because you disagree with my opinions,  you’re probably about to. This series is...not for me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good. It’s great. It’s a masterpiece in the field of the graphic novel. But that’s a medium I’ve never been a huge fan of and I suppose that’s why I never connected with it. The fact that I believe it should be ranked this highly in spite of that missing connection speaks to its outstanding quality. If you love Gaiman, you probably love this series and I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong. But I can’t give it the top spot because it’s not what he does best.

1 - American Gods - This is what he does best. This is storytelling at its finest. This is Gaiman, pulling from legends of old, seasoning them with his dry British wit, crafting a fascinating tale, setting it in a universe that sits just kitty-corner to our own, and drawing his audience in, such that they don’t want to leave, even after the last page is turned. It’s no wonder that fans have been clamoring for an on-screen adaptation for years, one they’ll finally lay eyes on next month, and heaven help the show’s creators (see what I did there?) if they fandom doesn’t approve. If you’ve been living under a rock and have therefore never read any Neil Gaiman and you’re wondering what his best, most representative work is? Look no further.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to disappear to an undisclosed location and stay off social media for a month to avoid the wrath from holders of differing opinions. I know not everyone will agree with me, but if we’re all talking about, celebrating, and reading books by our favorite author, that’s really the most important thing, right?

[kkoehn17]

Nothing has ever qualified me to tell you what the best books, movies, music, etc., of the year are, but that has never stopped me from giving you what I believe to be a highly educated opinion.

I mean, who needs all the fancy words and validating credentials when I can just tell you, hey, this didn’t suck and I think you should check it out. 

So that’s what I’m here to do today.

Here are all of my top recommendations from 2019, just in case you’re looking for something good to kickoff your 2020.

Books

The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris (Historical Fiction)

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng (Fiction)

For One More Day by Mitch Albom (Fiction)

Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis (Self Help)

The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides (Mystery/Thriller)

Daisy Jones & the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid (Historical Fiction)

My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing (Mystery/Thriller)

Where the Crawdad’s Sing by Delia Owens (Fiction)

Beautiful on the Outside by Adam Rippon (Memoir)

Over the Top by Jonathan Van Ness (Memoir)

.

Podcasts

How I built this with Guy Raz

ESPN 30 for 30

Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

Dr. Death

Duolingo Spanish Podcast

The Trypod

The Clearing

My Dad Wrote a Porno

The Dropout

How I Built This

Homecoming

.

Movies

Free Solo

The Dawn Wall

Booksmart

Unicorn Store

Someone Great

Frozen 2

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

.

TV Shows

Fleabag (Amazon Prime)

Single Parents (ABC)

The Politician (Netflix)

The Act (Hulu)

Killing Eve (AMC)

Modern Love (Amazon Prime)

Dead to Me (Netflix)

Euphoria (HBO)

Four Weddings & a Funeral (Hulu)

When They See Us (Netflix)

.

Music

Heard it in a Past Life by Maggie Rogers

GIRL by Maren Morris

When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go by Billie Eilish

Daylight by Grace Potter

Lover by Taylor Swift

Cheap Queen by King Princess

The Highwomen by The Highwomen

Divinely Uninspired to a Hellish Extent by Lewis Capaldi

Free Yourself Up by Lake Street Dive

Happiness Begins by Jonas Brothers

.

Misc

Hippeas:  THESE. ARE. SO. GOOD. I truly cannot stress this enough. Their one and only flaw is that they come in relatively small bags UNLESS you want to brave Costco for the monster bags. I personally am not always in the mood to brave Costco, which is why I found…

…White Cheddar Cheetos Puffs! These are the perfect sister snack to Hippeas and are also delicious. Who knew I had such a thing for white cheddar this year?

Duolingo: I downloaded this app to learn Spanish and have genuinely loved using it! They are always adding new challenges and new ways to learn and I look forward to going on each day.

Birkenstocks: I waited a long time and listened to a lot of hype about these before I finally pulled the trigger but I am so glad I did. Believe everything you hear. These are wonderful and I will miss wearing them in the winter months. (find this pair here)

Old Navy Leggings: I am constantly on the hunt for good leggings that aren’t one million dollars, which according to most retailers, is a big ask. But I bought a pair of leggings from Old Navy early in the year and loved them so much that I bought 4 more pairs. They are so comfortable and just the right amount of thick, AND, most importantly, they have side pockets, which is the real game changer. (find this pair here)

Check out more List-cember posts here. 

My 2019 Rec Roundup (List-cember #5) Nothing has ever qualified me to tell you what the best books, movies, music, etc., of the year are, but that has never stopped me from giving you what I believe to be a highly educated…