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callmethehunter · 4 years ago

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Maggie and Robert

Here’s a new chapter! I hope you like it. Thank you to @firethatgrewsolow for feedback and help with editing. As always, there’s a recap of the previous post, followed by the new material. RECAP: After a passionate and funfilled night on the beach with Robert, Maggie now has to face the music…aka her old man, Steve

End of Part 3: As Robert’s silhouette grew smaller in the distance, she knew that she needed to see him again. She simply HAD to see him before he left for the UK on Saturday. He was magical. The passion and connection that she had felt with him during their brief encounter was exactly what was absent with Steve and what she deeply craved.

When she lost all sight of Robert, her eyes swept over the skies. The sun was beginning to rise, dispersing the quiet darkness of the night...a night she would treasure always. She sighed wearily, turning her back to that golden sunrise as she headed back home to a man she did not truly love or even respect.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Part 4: Steve and Schemes

Maggie slowly made her way back to the Bahia Mar just as the dawn lightened the skies. It was as if the sun was awakening from the depths of the sea to continue it’s restless journey. There was something about the light and the retreating darkness that made her feel exposed, unable to hide from others or from herself. With each step, closer to Steve, her dread mounted. She replayed the moments with Robert, reliving them as she put one foot in front of the other. It distracted her from the looming anxiety about having to face Steve and explain where she had gone off to the previous evening.

While she believed that honesty was the best recourse, she decided to make an exception in this case. Just this once, she thought. She rationalized that it was none of Steve’s business how she chose to spend her time, given that they weren’t married and he had no claim on her.

They had shacked up for convenience sake. Their initial arrangement had been that each of them paid half of all expenses, which then gradually became Steve paying a larger share. She had quit bartending at the Elbo Room back in January so she could attend community college.

But Maggie knew his cash flow came from dealing in weed and acid, not from a 9 to 5 job. In her opinion, it was easy money since the hippies had started congregating at the northern end of Fort Lauderdale Beach where housing was cheaper, granting Steve access to a booming clientele.

It was the age of tuning in and tuning out. Timothy Leary advocated the use of psychedelics such as acid as a means to spiritual and personal growth. The drugs practically came with an endorsement, for crying out loud and added to the Free Love movement that was spreading like wildfire especially now that the Pill was in greater use. In fact the media was touting last summer of 1967 as the Summer of Love.

Her internal dialogue was interrupted when she heard her name being shouted repeatedly. She spotted Steve sitting in the shiny red Camaro, his prized possession. It was one of the only vehicles in the lot this early in the day. He started the loud engine and practically peeled out of the parking space headed towards her.

Oh fuck!, she cursed under her breath. Here he comes... The smidgeon of peace that had remained from her magical evening with Robert went flying out the window, replaced by a deep annoyance at having to explain herself to Steve.

“What the fuck, Maggie!” Steve barked as he pulled up next to her. “Where have you been all this time? I was worried about you out there trippin’ all by yourself.” He gestured wildly towards the beach. “One minute you were there, then the next time I looked you were gone. Man, I thought you drowned! I sure hope it was worth it to keep me hanging like that,” he berated her.

Maggie’s tactic when he became this belligerent was to placate him and act contrite. “Steve, I know...I am so sorry you had to go through all that. That purple microdot was so strong I don’t even know what all I did, I just remember being at the Jetties, and laying down somewhere looking at the sky...probably for hours. The stars looked as if they were dripping wax from candles on the beach and the colors were so bright!”

She ventured a glance at his face, which appeared calmer. “You know how it is, babe, I didn’t mean to worry you.” See? she said to herself, telling half truths was not really lying, she rationalized again. But in her heart she knew that she was skating on thin ice.

“Yea, I know, that shit’s groovy, man, but you can’t just walk off and not tell me what you’re doing or where you’re going for hours!” The fact that his voice was back to a normal decibel was promising.

“C’mon man, get in the car. I’m starving thanks to having to sit there all fucking night waiting on you.” As usual, the crisis had become all about him.

“Steve, seriously, who are you kidding? You know damn well you and your friends were partying all night... You barely missed me, seeing as Shannon the chipmunk was hanging on your every word when I left.” She wasn’t buying his ”holier than thou, concerned boyfriend” crap. It might work on Shannon but it wasn’t going to work on her.

That must have been what happened, because Steve did not respond as he sped down AIA towards the House of Pancakes. By the time they pulled into the lot, they had toned it down. Steve had a short memory, probably from all the weed he smoked, and now that they were going to eat, his self-righteous attitude diminished. After they were seated, he studied the menu, commenting on what he should order.

Maggie breathed a sigh of relief. She had been right in only revealing where she’d been and not who she was with...Only the sexiest and most intriguing man she had ever laid eyes on, she said to herself. Had she divulged that small yet crucial detail, she would not have heard the end of it.

Yet Steve was the one who had brought up having an open relationship when they shacked up the year before. They were more like friends on equal footing back then but somehow he seemed to have developed a sense of ownership. Nowadays he acted as if he was her sugar daddy or had some claim on her. The longer she allowed Steve to finance her life, the longer she would be in this rut. She had become lazy and complacent. The realization deeply troubled her and she vowed to take action, once and for all.

After ordering a breakfast platter, Steve mentioned he had been looking at a boat that was for sale at the docks near the Bahia Mar. It was last year’s model, a 1967 Chris Craft Cavalier, he said, as if that would explain it.

“Well, tell me more about it. I don’t know much about boats,” she added, “except that some have cabins and some don’t.”

“Man, I gotta teach you about the finer details of boating! if I can get this dude to go down on the price. I think he will, seeing as I fronted him 100 hits of acid and some weed last week and he still hasn’t paid me.”

“You know what, Steve? One of these days somebody’s gonna screw you over so bad or you’re gonna get busted by the fuzz, man,” she chided him. “You gotta be more careful, people talk…”

“Maggie, shut the fuck up, you don’t know what I do or don’t do.” He spat out bits of the omelett he was chewing, with how forcefully he replied. “I've been doing this shit since I was 16, so for over 10 years now, I ain’t never had a problem...well, except with a Cuban dude that tried to rip me off one time. But anyway,” he continued, “I don’t have to do shit, you hear?”

She hated when he spoke to her with disdain, belittling her intelligence, sometimes right in front of his friends. Most of the time, she sucked it up and went with the flow, letting it roll right off her back. But lately, this type of behavior angered her and she had been growing increasingly resentful towards his snide remarks.

“Fuck you, too, Steve” she countered, setting her toast down on the plate, suddenly losing all appetite.

“Whatever...Look, Maggie, do you wanna go see the damn boat or not? You’re lucky I’m even asking for your opinion seeing that we’re gonna be spending a lot of time on it.”

“Oh really?” she replied, “what if I don’t like boating, did you ever think of that? What if I always get sea sick, huh?” she asked but he just looked at her, mouth agape.

“Steve, you know I don’t like it when the water’s really deep, you can’t just assume I’m gonna feel comfortable on that boat day in and day out…”

“Why not?” he asked incredulously. “You should see the cabin, Maggie. It’s got a full sized bed, mini bathroom and little kitchen. It’s sweet, baby, you’re gonna forget all about that you’re on the water...It’s gonna be like being in a camper on land. You’ll love it, baby.”

She cringed at the familiar way he disregarded her feelings, bulldozing over them and then pretending she had been the one to suggest whatever it was he manipulated her into doing. This was insanity! He’s never gonna change!, she realized.

Almost in a defeated tone, she answered “Yea, maybe you’re right, Steve. Let’s go take a look when we leave here.”

He reached over the table and patted her hand, “Thata girl. We’ll go right after I pay.”

With that, he signaled to the waitress to bring the check, took a wad of cash out of his pocket, and glanced over the bill.

Maggie looked out the window and realized they were only a few minutes away from Tugboat Annies.

She mustered up all her courage and nonchalantly asked “Hey, sweetie, if we were to get the boat, could we dock it over by Tugboat Annies? It doesn’t cost as much as the Bahia Mar and you can pull up through the intercoastal, dock it in the back, and you’re right at the bar....There’s actually a really good band playing this weekend,” she continued, “if we had the boat, we’d look so cool pulling up in it, right?”

She knew Steve well. He was a show off and loved to appear important. The idea that the hip people at Tugboat’s would notice his latest purchase was irresistible to him. His growing smile told her everything she needed to know, and her heart soared as she thought about seeing Robert again. She ached with longing for him. That gorgeous blonde, that sexy man.

She smiled back sweetly at Steve, proud of herself for having turned the tables and being the one who manipulated the outcome, making him feel he was still in control.

Her self-congratulation faded as a tinge of anxiety surfaced. Steve was a narcissist, that much was true, but he was no dummy and he was extremely possessive of her time. How was she going to manage making contact with Robert while Steve was hovering nearby? How was she gonna pull this one off?

Different scenarios ran through her mind. She suddenly realized that the answer lay in having distractions... Lots of distractions. They would put the word out and invite all his cronies out to the concert, in part to celebrate and party on the boat. People could step out onto the marina behind Tugboat’s and score, getting their stash for the week in the privacy of the boat’s cabin. She’d wait to suggest that part later…

After the waitress brought back the change, she grabbed her bag from the back of her chair, stood and followed Steve out of the diner, this time with a light heart and a bounce in her step.

To be continuied at Tugboat Annies....

#maggie and robert #robert plan fanfic #fan fiction #part 4 #chapter 4 #Steve and schemes #next up #the show at Tugboat Annies #will Maggie's schemes and plans actually work?#will she get another chance with Robert?

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phynxrizng · 7 years ago

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DAILY ASTROLOGY REPORTS AND HOROSCOPES FOR, 1-19-18

Astrology Cafe Daily Astrology ABOUT TODAY DAILY MONTHLY CHART You are here: Home / Daily Astrology / Astrology of Today – Friday, January 19, 2018 Astrology of Today – Friday, January 19, 2018 Jan 18, 2018 by Annie Leave a Comment The Moon is in Aquarius until 3:26 PM, after which the Moon is in Pisces. The Moon is void from 6:51 AM until 3:26 PM. The Moon is waxing and in its New phase. The New Moon occurred on the 16th in the sign of Capricorn, and a First Quarter Moon will occur on January 24th. The Sun enters Aquarius today (the Sun transits Aquarius from January 19th to February 18th). **Times are Eastern Standard Time (EST). Horoscopes Aries Aries The day should progress quite smoothly, dear Aries. Energies now stimulate your imagination in mostly delightful and possibly quite useful ways. You can gain helpful insight into professional or life-path goals and projects by letting your mind wander and your imagination free. This is not about logical or rote thinking — you’re in a better place for intuitive thinking and connecting through mental chemistry today. Conversations about goals, big moves or strategies and business can be fruitful. A tolerant mindset can get you to the right places today. There can be imaginative exchanges now. Tonight, the Sun moves into the sign of Aquarius and your social sector, starting a month-long cycle that puts particular emphasis on making connections and enjoying relationships. Taurus Taurus Today’s energies tend to smooth over the rough edges of your life in subtle but happy ways, dear Taurus, and a soothing or inspiring conversation may be part of this. This is a good time for dreaming up plans and ideas. Discussions tend to lead in good directions, even though they may not be particularly structured. In fact, deviations tend to engage the imagination and get you to the right places now. Interactions can be supportive, inspiring, and possibly quite soothing. New ideas and plans fare particularly well and can be very creative. Even the smallest gestures go a long way now, so be sure to reach out. Brainstorming or networking can lead to bright ideas or solutions to predicaments. The Sun moves to the top of your solar chart today, and you’ll be bringing more effort and personality to your public or professional life until the 18th of February. Gemini Gemini This can be a good day for feeling quite comfortable in your own skin, dear Gemini, which encourages your imagination. Patience is easy and beneficial now. There may be an absorbing mystery to solve or a revealing conversation to enjoy. Your powers of imagination and creative envisioning are excellent. As you relax and get comfortable, you come to useful conclusions. You may very well solve a puzzling problem without genuinely trying, as this can be more of a moment of an epiphany than the result of hard thinking. Self-expression is comfortable and open. You may stumble upon or uncover something that has been missing, lost, or hidden. The Sun enters your sector of mind and spirit tonight, where it will transit for the coming month. Venus just entered this sector on the 17th, and now you have even more reason to spread your wings and enjoy new experiences. Cancer Cancer This is a great day for gaining perspective, dear Cancer. It can be a wonderful time for making connections and enjoying imaginative conversations. You’re also in good stead with work or practical matters, primarily because you’re feeling more dedicated (and happily so) to what you’re doing. You can concentrate your focus on a worthwhile project now. Even so, details are less important to you than the overall meaning right now. Interactions with others are likely to be comforting and possibly also healing, or they are a little off the beaten track, inspiring curiosity. Efforts towards making peace and accepting one another can be in focus and successful. Sharing varied viewpoints with someone can be especially rewarding now, as there’s something valuable to learn with an open mind today. Tonight, the Sun moves into your intimacy sector for a month-long stay, and you’re in particularly good shape for focused attention on projects and relationships you care about. Leo Leo The day holds excellent possibility and energy for relaxing the mind, dear Leo. This doesn’t mean you have to be idle as you can keep yourself busy doing something soothing that you genuinely enjoy — a form of meditation in motion. You may be able to resolve a tricky emotional problem or situation. Intimate relationships can thrive. Keep your mind, and your options, open today for best results. Conversations can be accepting but also gently stimulating, and intuition can lead you to the right information. The Sun moves into your partnership sector today, where it will transit until February 18th, and the coming weeks can be particularly relationship-focused. Virgo Virgo The day tends to promote increased ease with — and acceptance of –your current circumstances, dear Virgo. You might have a mind-opening experience now as you’re exposed to unusual and different perspectives. Even so, the day also plays well to your needs for relaxation. You can come to a helpful new view of a matter that bothered you in the past. While some opinions can annoy you, today you may find an alternative look at a situation fascinating. You might enjoy discussing personal plans, even if you are not very clear on details. Enhancing love or compatibility can involve a softer, warmer approach. Understanding and compassion are in focus and the best way to open doors right now. The Sun moves into your work and health sector today, where Venus just recently took up residence, and the coming weeks tend to emphasize getting your life in order. Libra Libra Today holds good energy for wrapping your mind around a mystery or other mental activity that is both enjoyable and absorbing, dear Libra. You’re in a good position to excel with anything that requires imagination or that can benefit from a step back from hard thinking. There can be something meaningful to learn from or about a family member. It’s easier to open up and enjoy conversations with the atmosphere now, as there is little or no pressure to be accurate and on the ball. Imagination is stirred, and this is particularly prominent in your conversations today. The Sun moves into harmony with your sign today and will continue transiting your sector of self-expression and creativity until February 18th. Venus has just recently entered this sector of your solar chart. Enjoying and expressing yourself in fulfilling, heartwarming ways can be in strong focus in the weeks ahead. Scorpio Scorpio There is strongly creative – and patient – energy that can help you to unwind and enjoy yourself today, dear Scorpio, as it promotes a relaxed mind. This is a powerful time for imagination and conversations that inspire. You have excellent support for concentrating on pet projects, studies, or creative pursuits. While motivation is strongest in the morning, inspiration makes up for it in the latter part of the day. You may want to pull yourself away from the details of a particular situation or problem and simply let your intuition work for you. Your words and ideas are received well today. There is a little extra romance or imagination in your interactions. The Sun’s move into your home and family sector tonight lasts until February 18th. You’re moving into a homey, comfortable phase of the year. Sagittarius Sagittarius You’re more inclined to enjoy your imagination than want to apply yourself to facts and figures today, dear Sagittarius. Even so, you can pour a lot of energy into pet projects or dedication to family or domestic matters. Pleasing conversations can be part of the day, particularly with or about family. Money-making ideas can be golden now. Your intuition for money or business is quite excellent. You are communicative and persuasive, and conversations can be imaginative and quite inspiring. The Moon moves into your home and family sector this afternoon, and you crave some familiarity and gentleness for a couple of days. The Sun, however, moves into your communications sector tonight and will stay there for a full month, keeping you busy and on the ball. Capricorn Capricorn You’re far better off letting go of a need to know exactly where you’re headed today, dear Capricorn, and allowing extra room for imagination and wonder. Decisions should not be rushed now. Conversations can be inspiring and ideas should be noted. Working with others towards a common goal can be very useful. You’re likely to feel energized and rejuvenated through these activities and interactions. It’s easy to smooth over differences with others, if needed, or to pick up where you left off with people you care about. Reaching out in even the smallest of ways can be rewarding. Your powers to persuade and influence are particularly potent right now. Venus left your sign on the 17th, and the Sun follows suit tonight. With both of these bodies in your resources sector, you’ll be focusing on building and developing pet projects in the coming weeks. Aquarius Aquarius This is a wonderful time to take a break from overanalyzing or overthinking, dear Aquarius. You’re more inclined to let go of tension and allow your imagination engage. Conversations can help inspire you and stimulate your objectivity. While you may be feeling particularly dedicated to or happy with friends and projects now, you’ll also enjoy some quality time to yourself dreaming up plans and examining dreams and ideas. The trick is to avoid investing too much in the details or the destination so that you can truly enjoy yourself. There is supportive energy flowing for you related to magnetism and appeal, networking, and camaraderie or collaboration. On a mental plane, it’s better to pull back from the details and think more holistically. Your imagination comes into stronger play and serves you well, particularly related to past experiences and business or money matters. Finding lost items or filling in the blanks can figure now. Artistic pursuits can blossom. On the 17th, Venus entered your sign and tonight, the Sun does the same. The Sun will be in Aquarius until February 18th, boosting your confidence and visibility. Pisces Pisces The Moon moves into your sign this afternoon, dear Pisces, and up until then, you’re inclined to take things easy or keep a low profile. The Moon in Pisces this afternoon and evening seems to have the effect of bringing you out of your shell and more in tune with your feelings. As well today, you have smooth energy with you for communicating and interacting. Your own words can inspire, and you can find inspiration in what others are saying. This calm and gentle theme is right up your alley, and you can find yourself, generally speaking, on the same page with a significant other. This is an excellent day for both technique and inspiration. You seem to have an open pipeline to your inner guide or intuition now. For some of you, there can be a meaningful connection made with a friend. * Remember to read horoscopes for your Ascendant sign and Sun sign. If you don’t know your Ascendant sign (and you know your birth time), you can look it up here. If Your Birthday is January 19th, If Today is Your Birthday full horoscope here. Astrology of Today – The Details: If you’re astrologically inclined and interested in the details of the Astrology of today, here are some of the factors considered in the forecasts (for the astrology of the week, see This Week in Astrology): Planet Color Key: The longer the bar, the slower the aspecting planet and the longer the duration of the planet’s transit. Date & Time: Jan 19 2018 3:26 pm Event: Moon enters Pisces Description: The Moon in Pisces A time to observe, feel, and process. We may pay special attention to our dreams, both of the night and day variety, and the subtle areas of our lives. Focusing on creativity, philanthropy, spirituality, and artistry can be beneficial. Build your intuition, slow down and rest. Date & Time: Jan 19 2018 6:51 am Event: Moon goes void of course Date & Time: Jan 19 2018 4:56 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sxt Ura Description: Transiting Moon Sextile Transiting Uranus We are open to new ideas. A break in the routine is pleasing now. We could be experimenting with new ideas or feelings. Date & Time: Jan 19 2018 6:51 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sqr Mar Description: Transiting Moon Square Transiting Mars We can overreact and exhibit impatience. However, this can also be a time of self-motivation. Our need for challenges and action is stimulated now, but we may not find the right outlets. Date & Time: Jan 19 2018 8:57 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon SSq Mer Description: Transiting Moon SemiSquare Transiting Mercury What feels right clashes with logic today. What people are saying may be a misrepresentation of their true feelings/emotions. It’s better to think before we speak, or misunderstandings can follow. Date & Time: Jan 19 2018 3:17 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sxt Pal Description: Transiting Moon Sextile Transiting Pallas There is a good ability to successfully combine logic and intuition, and to understand problems taking into account the human element. There is sensitivity to people’s issues now. Cooperation. Effective, sensitive decision making. Date & Time: Jan 19 2018 3:26 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Cnj Pis Description: Transiting Moon Entering Pisces A time to observe, feel, and process. We may pay special attention to our dreams, both of the night and day variety, and the subtle areas of our lives. Focusing on creativity, philanthropy, spirituality, and artistry can be beneficial. Build your intuition, slow down and rest. Date & Time: Jan 19 2018 7:56 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sqr Ves Description: Transiting Moon Square Transiting Vesta We can be a little stiff with our emotions, and we can be distracted from our work or focus. There can be difficulty expressing tenderness, concern, or care. Date & Time: Jan 19 2018 9:55 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Pll Jun Description: Transiting Moon Parallel Transiting Juno Date & Time: Jan 19 2018 10:28 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sxt Sat Description: Transiting Moon Sextile Transiting Saturn An auspicious time for any project demanding endurance or tolerance. Also good for establishing new habits and rituals. Date & Time: Jan 19 2018 10:08 pm Event: Tr-Tr Sun Cnj Aqu Description: Transiting Sun Entering Aquarius Time to be innovative. Shine in social groups. Gregarious pursuits rather than introspective. Be spontaneous. Date & Time: Jan 19 2018 10:23 pm Event: Tr-Tr Sun Sqr Pal Description: Transiting Sun Square Transiting Pallas Our ability to see things clearly or rationally can be compromised by ego issues or lack of confidence now. Date & Time: Jan 19 2018 8:07 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mer Sxt Nep Description: Transiting Mercury Sextile Transiting Neptune The use of imagination. Accurate intuitive thinking. Appreciation of subtleties. Artistic appreciation. Vision. Date & Time: Jan 19 2018 2:20 pm Event: Tr-Tr Ven Sxt Ves Description: Transiting Venus Sextile Transiting Vesta There can be a stronger tendency toward, or desire for, commitment and deep involvement in our relationships right now. We are taking love seriously. There can be a willingness to make sacrifices if it seems the best way to make improvements in relationships and with money matters. We can be quite particular in our tastes, and good with money and savings. Date & Time: Jan 19 2018 11:44 pm Event: Tr-Tr Sat Pll Pal Description: Transiting Saturn Parallel Transiting Pallas Date & Time: Jan 19 2018 9:29 pm Event: Tr-Tr Pal Cnj Tau Description: Transiting Pallas Entering Taurus Date & Time: Jan 19 2018 4:25 pm Event: Tr-Tr Jun Opp Cer Description: Transiting Juno Opposition Transiting Ceres Strong Signs, Elements, Modes BALANCE OF SIGNS SCORPIO STRONG Intense, magnetic, penetrating perception, power to confront. Can be destructive, vengeful, jealous, overly dramatic. CAPRICORN STRONG Disciplined, responsible, reliable, industrious, conscientious, practical, achieving. Can be pessimistic, overly conventional, rigid, materialistic, callous. AQUARIUS STRONG Humanitarian, innovative, group conscious, progressive, serving others. Can be rebellious, eccentric, aloof, emotionally superficial, overly extroverted. BALANCE OF ELEMENTS FIRE WEAK We are not very goal-oriented right now, or motivation to pursue our goals may be waning/lacking. Changes feel overwhelming. Enthusiasm may be low, we argue less, and we think more than we take action. EARTH STRONG We are especially in touch with the physical world. We consider what we’ve learned and experienced in the past in order to make the most of the present. We can be cautious, practical, and possibly unimaginative. We are deliberate and can pace ourselves well. We need hands-on experience and are not impressed with theory as much as we are with results. Routines are tolerable and comforting. BALANCE OF MODES MUTABLE WEAK We can have a hard time adapting to changes and to others’ agendas. LUNAR PHASE: NEW MOON Moon 0 to 45 degrees ahead of the Sun. This is an energetic, impulsive, and subjective period of time. We are looking for new projects and opportunities. The following aspects (major only) and positions are at noon (EST) on January 19th: Note that when an aspect is applying, it has not yet happened but is within orb – it’s pending. When an aspect is separating, it has already happened/perfected and is moving away from the aspect. Depending on the speed of the planet/body involved, the aspect will have perfected–or will perfect–in a matter of hours (often the case with the Moon), days, months, and possibly years in the case of the very slow-moving outer planets and bodies. Note that the Moon moves at a rate of approximately one degree every 2 hours so that if an aspect involving the Moon is applying and has an orb of 5 degrees, the aspect will perfect (be exact) in about 10 hours. If the Moon is separating from an aspect with an orb of 2 degrees, it has already formed said aspect approximately 4 hours ago (since the following are positions at noon today, then it would have occurred at about 8 AM today). **I suggest paying close attention to applying aspects. The energy of the aspect builds as it gets closer to exact. Once an aspect involving inner planets has happened, it’s over. Separating aspects are good to know for context, but in terms of energy that is with us today, applying aspects are most important. (This is the case for daily astrology influences involving inner planets, which pass quickly, and not natal astrology aspects, which are with us for a lifetime). THE MOON THE MOON IN AQUARIUS You feel secure with intellect rather than emotions. You may be aloof from emotions, or distrust emotions as irrational and unpredictable. You may have viewed your mother as emotionally erratic. 29TH DEGREE OF AQUARIUS Part of Body: Left tibia Sabian Symbol: Butterfly emerging from a chrysalis. ASPECTS OF THE MOON SQUARE MARS Orb 2°28′ Separating We may be short-tempered and impatient, and can express our emotions in a raw, unpolished manner. We can resent others’ interference now. THE SUN THE SUN IN CAPRICORN You are responsible and respectful, with a strong need to be an authority figure. You command respect and may tend to superiority and bossiness. 30TH DEGREE OF CAPRICORN Part of Body: Adductor muscle Sabian Symbol: Directors of a large firm meet in secret conference. ASPECTS OF THE SUN CONJUNCTION VENUS Orb 2°29′ Separating We take pride in our ability to relate well with others or to smooth over differences now. Graciousness, diplomacy, charm, and some superficiality are themes. This is a good period for social affairs, pleasure, amusement, and romance, all things considered. SQUARE URANUS Orb 4°52′ Separating We may want to break free from restrictions or responsibilities, but if we aren’t in touch with this need, we could cause some problems or feel restless and irritable. There could be rebellious feelings. We don’t want to be told what to do. Use this time to see what changes need to be made. MERCURY MERCURY IN CAPRICORN You are a wise and careful thinker. You place importance on credibility and authority. Therefore you will seek knowledge which carries some authority. You may approach new ideas with caution. 12TH DEGREE OF CAPRICORN Part of Body: Right knee joint Sabian Symbol: A student of nature lecturing. ASPECTS OF MERCURY SEXTILE NEPTUNE Orb 0°29′ Applying Our words and thoughts can be more imaginative and colorful, subtle or creative. We can experience a sense of knowing and understanding with minimal explanation or instruction. Intuition is highlighted or awakened. CONJUNCTION PLUTO Orb 7°30′ Applying You have a probing mind. You avoid social chit-chat preferring deep and meaningful conversations. You are able to research topics of interest. VENUS VENUS IN AQUARIUS You enjoy unconventional and odd relationships, which give you the freedom to express your individuality. You enjoy talking more than touching. You enjoy being in a group of friends. 3RD DEGREE OF AQUARIUS Part of Body: Right fibula Sabian Symbol: A deserter from the navy. MARS MARS IN SCORPIO You are a passionate warrior. You are dramatic, and may have strong sexual urges. You may make a vengeful opponent. 26TH DEGREE OF SCORPIO Part of Body: Perineum Sabian Symbol: Indians making camp. ASPECTS OF MARS CONJUNCTION JUPITER Orb 6°00′ Separating You are generous, self confident and lucky. Your energy level is high and you are courageous. You have a tendency to go where angels fear to tread, as you approach life with gusto regardless of the consequences. Travel and religious causes are likely to feature in your life. You may like to consider a career in the military or competitive sports. QUINCUNX URANUS Orb 1°05′ Separating We may be looking to dominate or to assert our independence if we feel trapped, restricted, or otherwise limited. Impulsiveness can be a problem. With creativity, we may be able to break through obstacles in unusual and unique ways. TRINE CHIRON Orb 0°33′ Separating There is more courage to face problems. Fighting for the underdog. Physical healing can help inner healing, and vice versa. JUPITER JUPITER IN SCORPIO You are on an intense search for the truth. You have strong desires for sexual union and joint enterprises. You could be a transformative teacher. 20TH DEGREE OF SCORPIO Part of Body: Ligaments of penis, Bartholin’s glands Sabian Symbol: A woman drawing two dark curtains aside. ASPECTS OF JUPITER SEXTILE PLUTO Orb 0°21′ Separating You have a chance to achieve a great deal. Your knowledge is broad as you are interested in so many things. You may make a career in the occult or studying the deepest mysteries of life. TRINE CHIRON Orb 5°27′ Applying You have the gift of wisdom. You trust your own intuitive nature, and are able to teach others on the spiritual path. You are able to encompass other people’s personal philosophies without feeling threatened, so that others trust you with their spiritual problems. SATURN SATURN IN CAPRICORN You are conservative and authoritarian, and have strong worldly ambitions. You are a responsible worker. 4TH DEGREE OF CAPRICORN Part of Body: Cutaneous nerves of lower leg Sabian Symbol: A party entering a large canoe. URANUS URANUS IN ARIES The urge to start fresh, to break free from restrictive attitudes or circumstances, to totally redesign an area of our lives (or even our personalities), and to gain freedom through independence is strong during this cycle. (May 27, 2010, to August 13, 2010, then March 11th, 2011, to May 15, 2018, then November 6, 2018, to March 6, 2019). 25TH DEGREE OF ARIES Part of Body: Sternocleidomastoid muscle Sabian Symbol: A double promise reveals its inner and outer meanings. ASPECTS OF URANUS SQUARE PLUTO Orb 5°16′ Applying A time for making sweeping changes and for adapting to changes in order to progress. This is a time for revising, altering, overhauling, and purging. We can experience tension, fear, and pressure, but also a sense of liberation from over-attachments and situations that have been holding us back from growth. NEPTUNE NEPTUNE IN PISCES A long-term influence in which fantasy, imagination, compassion, and spirituality are in stronger focus. (April 4, 2011, to August 4, 2011, then February 3, 2012, to March 30, 2025, then October 22, 2025, to January 26, 2026) 13TH DEGREE OF PISCES Part of Body: Plantar artery of left foot Sabian Symbol: A sword in a museum. PLUTO PLUTO IN CAPRICORN Tests of our boundaries; breaking down and rebuilding structures and rules. (From January 25, 2008, to June 14, 2008, then November 26, 2008, to March 23, 2023, then June 11, 2023, to January 20, 2024, then September 1, 2024, to November 19, 2024). 20TH DEGREE OF CAPRICORN Part of Body: Tendons of right knee Sabian Symbol: A hidden choir singing. Chiron, Major Asteroids, and Moon’s Nodes: in Sign and in Aspect CHIRON CHIRON IN PISCES Strong awareness of our own vulnerabilities and humanity stimulates compassion for others. (April 20 to July 20, 2010, then February 8, 2011, to April 17, 2018, then September 25, 2018, to February 18, 2019). 26TH DEGREE OF PISCES Part of Body: Plantar nerves Sabian Symbol: A new moon that divides its influences. VESTA IN SAGITTARIUS You have the ability to work relentlessly for a cause in which you believe. You need to make sure you do not exclude other people’s points of view. You have visions and enjoy the adventure of discovery in your work. 3RD DEGREE OF SAGITTARIUS Part of Body: Ischia Sabian Symbol: Two men playing chess. PALLAS PALLAS IN ARIES You have a keen intellect with the ability to come up with exciting, new ideas. You are also happy to risk putting your new ideas into action. 30TH DEGREE OF ARIES Part of Body: Parotid gland Sabian Symbol: A duck pond and its brood. JUNO JUNO IN AQUARIUS You want the freedom to be your own person in your relationship. If this is not available you become rebellious and unreliable. You are unlikely to be comfortable in a traditional relationship. 15TH DEGREE OF AQUARIUS Part of Body: Lymph vessels of right lower leg Sabian Symbol: Two lovebirds sitting on a fence. CERES CERES IN LEO You feel cared for when other people play with you and praise you. You like to show others you care for them by encouraging their creative talents and sense of fun. 15TH DEGREE OF LEO Part of Body: Right atrium Sabian Symbol: A street pageant. THE NORTH NODE THE NORTH NODE IN LEO This a quest to develop your inner strength. You may find that you experience times of loneliness. These times are part of your lesson to forge your own creative life in order to give generously to the world. 15TH DEGREE OF LEO Part of Body: Right atrium Sabian Symbol: A street pageant. THE SOUTH NODE THE SOUTH NODE IN AQUARIUS This a quest to develop your inner strength. You may find that you experience times of loneliness. These times are part of your lesson to forge your own creative life in order to give generously to the world. 15TH DEGREE OF AQUARIUS Part of Body: Lymph vessels of right lower leg Sabian Symbol: Two lovebirds sitting on a fence. *** CONJUNCTIONS TO SELECT FIXED STARS *** Transits 19 January 2018 Aspects to Ven 02°Aq03 -20°45′ Cnj 02°Aq01 ALTAIR To explore, to be bold. Aspects to Jup 19°Sc46 -16°38′ Cnj 19°Sc37 ZUBEN ELSCHEMALI– Negative social reform Aspects to Pal 29°Ar53 -22°35′ Cnj 00°Ta39 MIRACH In harmony to be receptive Aspects to Nod 14°Le54 +16°21′ Cnj 15°Le27 DUBHE Loving but forceful Aspects to BMo 07°Cp58 -20°02′ Cnj 08°Cp32 FACIES — Ruthlessness or the victim. SHARE THIS: EmailFacebookTwitterTumblrGoogleReddit Filed Under: Daily Astrology, Today Tagged With: January 19, Mercury Neptune transit, Mercury sextile Neptune « Monthly Horoscopes – January & February 2018Astrology of Today – Saturday, January 20, 2018 » Leave a Reply Search this website … Search Cafe Astrology Cafe Astrology Home Cafe Astrology Free Reports Recent Astrology of Today – Saturday, January 20, 2018 Astrology of Today – Friday, January 19, 2018 Monthly Horoscopes – January & February 2018 Astrology of Today – Thursday, January 18, 2018 Astrology of Today – Wednesday, January 17, 2018 In this post First Quarter Moon‌ The Moon is waxing‌ The Moon is void‌ Tags Jupiter Neptune transit Mars-Pluto transit Mars Chiron transit Mars Jupiter transit Mars Neptune transit Mars Pluto transit Mars Saturn transit Mars Saturn transit Mars Uranus transit Mercury Chiron transit Mercury Jupiter transit Mercury Mars transit Mercury Neptune transit Mercury Pluto transit Mercury Saturn transit Mercury semi-square Venus Mercury square Mars Mercury square Neptune Mercury square Pluto Mercury trine Pluto Mercury Uranus transit Mercury Venus transit Sun Chiron transit Sun conjunct Mercury Sun Jupiter transit Sun Mars transit Sun Mercury transit Sun Neptune transit Sun Pluto transit Sun Saturn transit Sun sextile Jupiter Sun sextile Saturn Sun square Neptune Sun trine Neptune Sun Uranus transit Venus-Mars transit Venus Chiron transit Venus Jupiter transit Venus Mars transit Venus Neptune transit Venus Pluto transit Venus Saturn transit Venus square Saturn Venus square Uranus Venus Uranus transit Previous Subscribe via Email Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts by email. Email Address Email Address Subscribe Current Planetary Positions 1/19/2018 10:19:25 AM Sun 29° Capricorn 37' 32" Moon 28° Aquarius 55' 36" Mercury 11° Capricorn 59' 03" Venus 02° Aquarius 07' 36" Mars 25° Scorpio 49' 24" Jupiter 19° Scorpio 47' 17" Saturn 03° Capricorn 31' 59" Uranus 24° Aries 41' 52" Neptune 12° Pisces 23' 25" Pluto 19° Capricorn 25' 00" Chiron 25° Pisces 14' 12" TrueNode 14° Leo 54' 39" Subscribe to Blog via Email Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Email Address Email Address Subscribe Categories Archives January 2018 M T W T F S S « Dec 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Copyright © 2018 · Astrology Cafe by Cafe Astrology

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thisgeekyteacher · 5 years ago

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The months they go so fast, and May disappeared in a whirl of outwith the norm events. What with many comings and goings, a whole week in Cumbria and more train journeys than I’d really like to make in a month, I’ve made it to June more battered and broken than when I started.

I’ll be honest, I don’t really know what to put in here regarding the news. Brexit is a nightmare, Trump is no better, and News the world over is just miserable. So I think I’ll go with something that hit home for me.

My heart broke when I read about the sinking of the tourist boat on the Danube in Hungary. It is all the more heart wrenching as the wounds scored into the psyche of the nation as a result of the Sewol tragedy are still smarting. This has been close to the bone.

It also made me afraid. Afraid that I might know someone on that boat. True, the chances were slim, but I have met so many Koreans who have made clear their wishes to travel abroad, and many of them since have. I didn’t want any of my friends to be on the boat.

I hope that recovery operations in Hungary are swifter than they were for Sewol, and I hope everyone is found.

I’ve mentioned this book in the up-coming Reading Nook post, but it’s that good that I’m putting it here as well!

If you’re fascinated by Jack the Ripper, this isn’t necessarily a shoe-in. If you are fascinated by Victorian London in general, then this is a perfect read.

Hallie Rubenhold has clearly researched into every nook and cranny, digging up every little tit-bit of information relating to Jack the Ripper’s victims, and gives them their names and lives, immortalising them – Polly, Annie, Elizabeth, Catherine and Mary Kelly – as more than victims, as more than the prostitutes they were always assumed to be.

It’s a heart wrenching read and, and it’s very core, highlights without even having to put into words, how similar women’s situations are now. It is still an automatic assumption that a woman has fallen, that she is lesser, that she is sex worker, if she is in any way perceived to have “fallen” below society’s standards.

We have a long way to go.

I’ve still been slowly making my way through bones, and in the BF’s week of ill, a lot of of the Netflix shows were consumed. I’m now very used to the background noise of people being beaten to a pulp. That or football…

Some of the shows are great, some seem to just dole out the violence for violence’s sake, but as I’ve mostly been passively watching. The roster has been made up of Luke Cage, The Punisher and Daredevil. Luke Cage appears to have a stellar OST, and Daredevil has it’s captivating moments, but The Punisher does nothing for me!

I think we’re nearly at the end now, so hopefully there will be something less noisily violent gracing our TV screens.

More Marvel, this time Endgame.

I know I’m going to get some flack for this, but though I’m satisfied with the ending, the getting there was less gratifying. I could have done with film about half the length, or at least sped up, and I got so frustrated that I nearly left.

I am still deeply unimpressed with how a couple of the characters were dealt with; whilst I understand the point of the exercise, I feel it was handled badly and it left a sour taste. Man it’s hard to write an opinion piece on a movie you don’t want to spoil.

Whilst I would recommend seeing it, because… Endgame, I can’t sit here and say it’s going to blow your mind. It rounds out the Infinity Saga nicely, and sets up the next chapter. I’m going to miss this generation of Marvel, but I believe that what’s coming will be fantastic.

Those in the know are more than aware that I’m not remotely fussy about music genre, I will listen to anything and everything that sings to me. They will also know that I love me a good K-Pop release. What they might not know, is that of some of my favourite Korean artists, the Japanese releases outweigh the success of their Korean ones.

In May, we were treated to Seventeen’s newest Japanese release, Happy Ending. I’ve been disappointed In Seventeen’s recent Korean releases, they’ve just not quite been there. Happy Ending happily bucks this trend.

It’s a treat, being able to consume music from one group in two different national markets. Whilst there are Korean rock groups, and excellent ones at that, you will generally find this sound is more readily accepted in Japan than in Korea.

May has been changeable, weather-wise, and there has been much need for an interim jacket. I’ve not had the greatest of need for one before now – both Hong Kong and Korea are not known for their prolonged seasonal transitions. This year I acquired a second-hand Burberry trench coat that isn’t an colour of cream/beige that makes me look sick, and I have been rocking it (if I do say so myself). It’s a fast way to lift an outfit into something a little more put together.

I was rained upon immediately after this photo, however. The sunnies are a complete and utter lie. Oh, London weather! And now we’re in June and it’s chucking it down outside – a classic British summer. Why did I come back again?

Given this guy a wash, so he’s a wee bit damp!

This months revelation is not a product, but a tool! I have been into sponges for a million-and-one years, and for some reason, in recent months they’ve not been doing the job for me. Personally, I’m going to put that down to my Korean stash has finally run out and those on offer in the UK just aren’t up to par (and no, I’m not going to pay silly money for a sponge).

In light of this, I turned to the make up brushes, picked one that looked like it might be halfway decent for foundation, and gave it a whirl. I haven’t looked back since. Who knows why something that hasn’t worked before is working now, but it does and I’m loving it.

As I slowly march through the endless collection of recipes at my disposal, there have been two of note this may:

On the right we have a smokey pork and black bean recipe from BBC Good Food, technically a taco recipe that instead had with salad to make a frankensteined buritto bowl. On the left we have a gluten free bread recipe from one of the plethora of LEON books I have. If you’re interested in them, I recommend keeping an eye on kindle prices!

The frankensteined burrito bowl was a huge success, and I enjoyed it for many a packed lunch – I packed my salad and meat separately, heated the meat at work and threw it all together with a smidge of cheese and a dollop of soured cream (technical terms there).

The bread, though no unsuccessful, was odd. It’s gluten free, it was always going to be odd. It looked more cakey than any bread I’ve ever come across, but was also dense, without being heavy. I found this bread to be very enjoyable, just as long as you are of the full understanding that it is not, nor is it ever going to be, regular bread!

Stunning photo, I believe from the press performance

The boy and I managed to get tickets to see English National Opera’s production of Faust, at their home in Covent Garden. The Opera House is a stunning mixture of sleek modernity in the foyer/bar and old fashioned opulence in the theatre itself, right down to the patrons; there were some tail coats spotted, and one lady in the most fabulous, sparking red dress. Opera attendance aspirations right there!

Faust (the French version by Charles Gounod, at least I think so!) was long, funny, long some more, rousing, opulent, disturbing and a spectacle. Méphistophélès appearance in the second half (end of Act IV or beginning of Act V, I’ll be honest I’m not sure, all the Act’s melted into one) was fabulous; the scene stealer of the evening.

After the opera, we (one of our friends was in the production) headed off to China town for a bite to eat, and had this amazing aubergine number that I can’t for the life of me remember the name or make up of. Let this post serve as a reminder to the boy that we need to go have that again (a test to see if he reads the blog, perhaps…)

This month, the best place I have been is the Garden up in Cumbria. Getting through May felt like a war of attrition. There were highs and there were really, really dark lows. Being able to get home was a saving grace, and I was lucky enough to be able to experience some amazing weather. Here’s a wee photo of Colin the pheasant strutting about like he owns the place, to a stunning back drop. Who needs filters when you live in the countryside!

2019 has been a good year for the family. My nephew (hereafter nephew the first) arrived in January, and he is the spitting image of my brother, so much so it’s hilarious. In May, another member of the family arrived, another wee lad, to my cousin. It’s far too convoluted to go through the whole relation nomenclature rigmarole, so I’m just going to stick with nephew the second. He is adorable, with So. Much. Hair (quite unlike nephew the first, who is so blonde he looks bald), and I’m so damn proud of my cousin I could cry. I mean I will, I’m a crier. I can’t wait to go meet the wee lad and get in some of those baby cuddles!

Re-Cap:

So May wasn’t all bad, despite the low parts of the month. I got some in some solid hours at home, we gained another new addition to the family, the boy and I got a wee trip tp the opera and he got to enjoy some of my food aspiration experiments (though apparently not enough, according to him, which is difficult when he’s more of a savory guy and I am all about that baking!)

Here’s hoping that June is a great month for all of us!

If you would like to support TGT, head over to my Kofi:

Last Month Today | May 2019 The months they go so fast, and May disappeared in a whirl of outwith the norm events.

#Last Month Today #TGT #This Geeky Tangent

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aureus-meles · 7 years ago

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and i can’t stop thinking that i almost gave you everything ;

13 january 1980 - 16 january 1980

Edgar was singing, and not quietly. He wasn’t sure he’d ever done anything quietly in his life-- he was loud, sometimes painfully so, unashamed in just about everything he did, bright and funny and a complete and total mess of a person. But he was happy. It was his main focus right now, his main saving grace, that he was finally, blissfully happy with the way his life was going.

He tapped the wooden spoon he was using to stir the noodles for dinner against the counter before he held it up to his mouth like a microphone. “She’s got electric boobs. An mohair shoes, you know I read it in a magaziiiiiiiine, oh oh.” He pointed the spoon at Kira, who was giggling in her high chair. “B-B-B-Bennie!” Another giggle. “Bennie!”

“Ba!” Kira tried to imitate.

“You got it, kiddo. Bennie! B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets.”

He wasn’t expecting the doorbell to ring. He put the spoon down and turned the burner to low, running his hand over Kira’s curls as he passed her before he walked over to the door. He was still laughing, still smiling, and he glanced back over his shoulder at Kira as she continued to gurgle happily in her high chair. “Hang on, Bennie, I’ll get you your bottle in a second.” He walked over to the door and pulled it open, still smiling.

It was like seeing a ghost. His breath shuddered out of his chest, and he blinked. Of course she’d come back. Of course she was here. He didn’t know why he’d not expected it, but it was like seeing his parents standing in his doorway, people from what felt like another lifetime entirely.

Annie stood awkwardly on the front step and tucked a strand of her dark hair behind her ear.

Hey, Edgar.

It took a while for the awkwardness to settle. Edgar had written letters back and forth to Annie, had received a few in return, but their contact had been fairly minimal in the last few months since she’d left for South America. It got easier to feel like it was all real when Annie saw Kira, and lifted her daughter up into her arms, earning an excited squeal from the infant.

How’s my favorite little girl? Mama missed you. She missed you so much.

Edgar found it easier to settle after that. He excused himself for a moment to hastily scribble letters to Amelia and Jon, cancelling any and all plans he’d made with them for the next few days. He was going to need to process. And he and Annie had catching up to do. She hadn’t told him that she was coming back to London; her arrival had blindsided him completely. He wasn’t upset about it, he found. He was more confused than anything else.

After two hours, he had nearly managed to stop himself from waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Nearly.

You put my photos up.

Edgar looked around Kira’s room, at the series of photographs hanging on the walls. Mementos of Annie’s travels, her work, that she’d sent back to the two of them. Or, really, that she’d sent for Kira. He gave a small shrug. “I wanted her to see what her mum’s been doing,” he told her. “She should be proud of you. We both are.”

Annie smiled at him for a moment before she looked down at Kira, finally sleeping in her crib. She brushed a few curls from her temple before she turned back to Edgar.

We should sit. Talk...

“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” Edgar led the way out of the room and back to the kitchen. “Do you want some tea?” he asked. “Wine? Water?”

Just water is fine.

Edgar nodded and poured her a glass, putting it in front of her gently. “Not a wine conversation, then,” he said, a little teasingly. “Well that makes me feel better. I thought this was gonna’ be bad.” He expected Annie to smile, but she didn’t, merely raised her glass to her lips. His smile faded, and he poured himself a glass of water as well before he leaned against the countertop, looking at her as she sat awkwardly and sipped at her water. “What’s going on? Is this... is this too weird? I’m not trying to---”

I think I’m pregnant.

Edgar blinked. He thought she was kidding for a half second, thought this was some kind of strange and inappropriate joke that she was telling, before he realized that she was serious. That this was real. He took a breath and tried not to stammer. “How--- h-how--? I mean, are you sure?”

Annie was chewing on her lower lip, brows furrowed.

Pretty sure, yeah.

An awkward silence fell for a moment before Annie met Edgar’s gaze. She swallowed hard.

Will you--? I don’t want to take the test alone. Find out alone again.

“Of course I will.” Edgar didn’t have to think about those words, though his mind was reeling with everything else. What would this mean, what would it do to them, how would they manage another child in the midst of all of this? “Do you...? I mean, I can go get a pregnancy test, if you want. We can go to the doctor’s tomorrow, or...” He shook his head slowly and raised his glass to his lips, draining it. just to give himself something to do. Something else to think about for just a moment while he processed.

I would rather do it here with you. So we can... figure out what to do.

Edgar nodded, and grabbed his coat from the back of his chair. He paused by Annie’s side, and his hand rested on her shoulder. “We’ll figure this out. We’ll make it work. I promise, alright?” Annie nodded her head, and reached up to touch his wrist.

We’ll figure it out.

Two lines. Two pink pastel lines stared back at him and laughed. Edgar’s heart was rolling in his chest, his breath caught. Two lines. Pregnant. She was pregnant.

Edgar turned to look at Annie. His head felt like it was going to explode. He felt like he was going to cry. He didn’t know if the tears would be happy or overwhelmed. Probably both. Possibly neither. He still wanted to cry.

“What do you want to do?”

Annie shook her head.

I don’t know. We... we can’t do the same thing and expect a different result.

Whatever happens now is for both of us. And for our children.

Edgar nodded his head again. “For our kids.” He let out a breath and looked down at the pregnancy test again. “Our kids... Merlin.” He let out a small huff of something like laughter. “The world has a weird way of doing things, doesn’t it?” He shook his head. “You’re happy with things now, aren’t you? With working again?”

I’m really happy. The happiest I’ve been in a while.

I... I don’t want to give that up again.

“Then don’t.” Annie looked up at him, and Edgar shrugged fractionally. “Don’t give it up. I made you give it up last time and you resented me for it. No-- I’m not blaming you,” he said quickly when she opened her mouth to protest. “I knew when I met you that that wasn’t the life that you wanted. I shouldn’t’ve pushed it on you. I’m sorry that I did.”

It’s not your fault.

Edgar shook his head; he would never believe that. Not as long as he lived would he ever believe that. He’d pushed her, he’d made her a mother when she wasn’t ready to be one, made her stay at home when she wanted to be free to do as she pleased. He hadn’t meant to, but he’d done it regardless. He wouldn’t do it again. “You love your job. You said yourself that you’re the happiest you’ve been in a long time when you’re working. I don’t want to take that away from you. So go. And when this kid is born, I’ll take care of them while you’re away. When you’re in London between jobs, you can take them, and you can visit whenever you want.”

But I’m still leaving them. Does it make me a bad person? Mum? To leave, I mean?

Edgar shook his head, and the look on his face told her that he meant every single word he said. “You will always, always be their mother. And if you want to move back to London, if you want to stay at home and raise the kids... that’s your choice. But don’t feel like you have to give up what you want again because you have to. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you the person that I fell in love with in the first place, who made the impossible work out. Who knew what she wanted and got it, even if it was hard. This isn’t bad. I don’t think it makes you a bad mum. You’re still providing your kids, you’re still their mum, even if you’re traveling. Even if you’re not always here.” He took her hand. “We can make this work. Whatever you decide, we can make this work. Okay?”

Annie held onto his hand tightly, and he could see there were tears in her eyes. She nodded her head slowly.

Okay.

Edgar stared at the photographs on the walls. There were dozens there, showing the course of Annie’s travels. There would be more, more from each trip that she took, each sight that she visited. She was off to Egypt next, to explore the pyramids. She would be safe. She’d promised him that she would be safe, and she would return every few weeks, and that he could accompany her to her appointments. He’d kissed her before she left, and she’d kissed him too and hugged him so tight that he didn’t think she would ever let go. But it wasn’t as husband and wife, it wasn’t as romantic partners. They were friends first, before all the rest of it. They could still love each other, even if they weren’t together. They could make this work. It would be hard, but they could do it. They’d weathered worse storms, and they would make it through this too. Co-parenting, being their own people. And Edgar knew, more strongly than he ever had, that they didn’t have to sleep in the same bed or wear rings or both carry his last name to be a team.

He paused a moment longer before he stepped forward. He didn’t know how they were going to manage this. He didn’t know what would happen, what trials they would face with making this work. Not married, not divorced, not anything in particular that he could define except parents to their child. Soon to be their children.

He stopped at the wall and pinned the picture of the ultrasound next to the picture of Kira, Annie and himself on the day of Kira’s birth. Another piece of the family. Another branch to adorn their family tree. His hand remained on the wall, supporting himself as he bowed his head. He’d moved his wedding ring to his right hand, still there but not meaning what it had once meant. Annie had done the same, he’d noticed. It was a promise, to love and cherish each other, but not as husband and wife. Not because they were married, but because they had each other’s backs.

He’d rushed things. They’d gotten married before they were ready. And for better or worse, for richer or poorer, for everything that had changed and everything that had happened, he would figure this out. Even if all his friends had been right. But when it’s right, it’s right. Maybe in a year, in two, in ten, it would be. For now, it was just alright. It was okay. Not right, not wrong, just okay. For the first time in days, Edgar Bones cried.

And he didn’t know if the tears were happy or not.

#ofc: drabbles #drabbles #tw: pregnancy #and i can't stop thinking that i almost gave you everything #[ little boy thinks he's such a hero ; ]#[ when it's right it's right ; ]#[ a garden you never get to see ; ]#just gonna leave this here while i finish my drafts up #oops

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copyseat0 · 6 years ago

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2017. A Look Back on a Tumultuous Year.

2017 was a lousy year that followed another lousy year (2016). That I’m alive and have a roof over my head sort of surprises me. I’m VERY GRATEFUL for what I have, so grateful. I’m lucky, even with very serious financial problems because it could be so much worse. I feel for the millions of people who lost their homes this past year due to floods, fire, hurricanes, tornadoes…not to mention all the suffering caused by social upheaval, reports of rampant sexual abuse, and the fears stemming from the actions of the so-called leadership of our precious country.

January

Annie, one of our Kitten Associates fosters, fell ill yet again. She’d been punky after recovering from intussusception surgery in October of 2016. Even though Dr. Larry said she looked good, I pushed to do blood work. It revealed Annie was seriously anemic, to the point of an Internist feeling she might have lymphoma. I asked if we could treat her for my nemesis, Bartonella, because there are some forms of the infection that cause anemia. We couldn’t re-test her so we tried a new treatment. Within a few weeks and some TLC and vitamin B12 injections, Annie bounced back and regained her good health, but just as she was recovering I got a disturbing call.

Lady Saturday was ailing. She was skin and bones. I didn’t know. Our foster family called and said she needed to see the Vet. She’d been pretty weak and eating a lot less. When Dr Larry saw her, he was shocked. She only weighed 4 lbs and was near death. We didn’t know how old she really was, but we knew she’d had kidney issues for the nearly two years she’d been part of our foster program. She’d gotten fluids, a heated bed, good food, supplements, but we couldn’t cure old age. On January 16th we said goodbye to our sweet girl.

With all of that going on, my cat Petunia began having focalized seizures. We didn’t know the source even after taking her to a neurologist. We started her on Phenobarbital in the hopes it would give her some relief, but did she have cancer? Would she eventually have a grand-mal seizure and I’d come home to find her dead?

The year wasn’t off to a good start, but thankfully it was pretty quiet as far as rescue went. After years of saying I was taking a break from taking on kittens, I decided I would really do it. Then I saw a post online about a huge feral colony in Waterbury, CT. Over 50 cats were struggling to survive and were breeding out-of-control. Read about the first cat we rescued HERE along with follow up stories them HERE and HERE) While doing TNR (Trap, Neuter, Return) isn’t my forte, I thought I could help raise funds for these cats and do some social media outreach.

My mistake…I decided I had to go to the location to see for myself what was going on, to take some photos, then start raising money for the #Feral50 #waterburyferals. Once I saw a horrifically sick cat, I knew I had to get more involved. I had no idea that instead of taking a break, I was going to be busier than ever for the sake of these cats.

February

I pushed the limits of what I could handle and was pushed beyond my limits by another volunteer who worked doing some of the trapping of the feral cats in Waterbury. The things I saw, some cats barely clinging to life…I found placements for 10 cats, but it wasn’t enough. I had to do more and more and more until February 13th when I ended up in the hospital during a snow storm. I was diagnosed with an ulcer, along with an anxiety attack that I was certain was really a heart attack in disguise. The stress was just too much.

But in rescue "too much" always ends up becoming "just help one more." I decided to take on a pregnant feral from the Waterbury colony.

It was very risky, because I didn’t know what I was going to do with her after the kittens were born and weaned, but as so many other rescues, I just took it one day at a time. Solve one problem at a time-that’s the key. The cat had been named Waverly. She was covered with oil and metal dust. She was too dirty to give birth, but we have a great foster mom who is gentle and patient and who was able to wipe Waverly down every day until Waverly was clean enough to give birth-and just in time, too. By the end of the month, Waverly had given birth to three kittens. Sadly only two of the three survived. I knew that if we hadn’t taken Waverly on none would have made it.

I’ve come to the understanding that in rescue you shouldn’t try to do everything. Rescue the kind of cats you can handle and do your bit. Other people, who are great at things you may not be so great at can do their part. It all adds up to be much more effective than trying to take on more than you can handle and getting sick from it. What I learned is that I am not cut out for TNR. I want to give every cat a chance to become socialized. There isn’t time or space to take that on.

While I respect every cat who just can’t become social kitties, and I will return those cats to the outdoors, it kills me because I know their future will be very difficult, even with a great caretaker looking after them.

Meanwhile, Spencer had a re-check of his blood work because in late 2016 we found out his kidneys weren’t working very well. The new test results showed us that Spencer might only have a few months left because his values changed for the worse, so very fast. We were to start him on fluid therapy and see how he did in 6 months.

March

Things started looking up. I was a Guest Speaker at the first ever, Cat Camp NYC. I had a blast, made new friends and saw some of my most cherished cat lady friends. It did my heart good to be reunited with them and energized me for Kitten Season, which was right around the corner.

We took on #FairfieldCountyGives and had our best fundraising day ever, raising over $3500 in a single day-most of which were $10 donations. We’d be ready to take on kittens, but where were they?

I got an email from a guy who asked for cat behavior help with his 5-month old kitten, Holly. She’d been peeing on the family beds. The guy turned out to be musician and songwriter, Stephen Kellogg. What transpired next even surprised me. You can read about this crazy trip in these stories HERE (including links to all 5 chapters). I’m glad to say that after all the trials and tribulations that Holly is in her home and that Stephen has become a good personal friend and newly minted Cat Daddy.

Weird April

I wasn’t getting calls about kittens. It was very strange. Then I thought about why it might be so quiet. We’d had a very mild January giving intact cats plenty of time to become pregnant, but in February we had a few brutal snowstorms dropping a lot of snow. I didn’t want to imagine it, but I started to believe that perhaps a lot of kittens just didn’t make it and that the “season” would be starting later in the year.

For once I got out on my birthday for a short road trip and lunch at O'Rourke's diner. We stopped at a crazy place called Wild Bill's. The namesake and owner was there as we strolled down the aisles. I didn't think he looked so hot. I guess I was right. He died a few days later. I couldn't help but feel like I better not take having another birthday for granted.

May

Ah, Stormy; a purebred Russian Siberian cat whose owner really was allergic to her entered the picture in May. Her mom, Kim, was sick all the time and though she felt terrible about it, she needed help getting Stormy a new home. The problem was, Stormy was not very nice. I thought it might be due to her being declawed. Perhaps she was in pain? So we did a lot of tests to see if that was the problem.

The bottom line was I promised to help find a home for this 9-year old aggressive cat, but how was I going to pull it off?

I found what I thought was a good home in Boston, but the people were terrible, fearful, posers. A few weeks later they brought Stormy back to Kim’s where I was under even more pressure to find Stormy a placement because her home was about to undergo a serious renovation and they’d have to put her in a boarding facility if she stayed much longer. I honestly didn’t know if I’d ever be able to find Stormy a home. I even tried to get a breeder from the CFF Cat Show, where I took part as a guest judge, to take her on, but with her anger issues it was a lot to ask.

June and July

I wasn’t going out of my way to find kittens to rescue since I never got a break over the winter, but then I got a call from my friend Joan. She told me one of the shelters down south had 65 kittens. They were going to start putting them ALL DOWN in 12 hours. Could I take even a few? She’d foster for me and even go get the kittens.

I decided to take 6 kittens, which turned into 8, except that they counted wrong and there were twins so 8 became 9 and I got another rescue friend to approve taking 3 and somewhere in the middle of that Moe, our other southern foster mama asked me if I could take just one more to make it 13 kittens.

Yes. I’m insane.

I nicknamed the group, the #SweetSuperheroes. If only they had lived up to their name. I wrote about what happened to them, how it broke me in ways rescue never broke me before, but I never published what I wrote. I may some day reveal all the details when I feel I can tell their story without it wrecking me.

In a few words, it was our first experience with Feline Panleukopenia. Within the first week, two of the kittens were dead and the threat of many more hung over us as poor Joan feverishly scrubbed and cleaned, while I spent thousands of dollars on vet bills, cleaning supplies, cages, food and litter for the remaining kittens.

Some of the kittens were in isolation at the vet in Tennessee, while some remained at Joan’s foster home. We both did as much as we could to get the survivors healthy for the long transport to Connecticut, but in all honesty I did not want to bring them here at all. I was terrified my cats would get sick.

I’m not a fan of the FVRCP booster vaccination, but we had to make the difficult choice to booster most of our adult cats right away because there is no definite period of time for how long kittens who are exposed to PanLeuk are still contagious. To be safe, the kittens were isolated for 6 weeks, which ruined their window of adoption by a great deal, but I also didn’t want them here if there was any chance at all they’d sicken my cats, too.

I spent most of the end of June and into July crying, worrying, researching PanLeuk and trying to prepare things here for their arrival. It was the first time in years I dreaded taking on more kittens.

Stormy was proving to be a tougher case than I imagined. The shocker, what I realized much later was that Stormy had reverted to being feral from not being handled for many years. She wasn’t in pain at all.

Because she had to be moved into the in-law apartment in the home and be in close proximity to her family, Stormy ended up getting handled more and sure enough Stormy became friendlier. So friendly that a lovely lady named Annabelle flew to Connecticut from Philadelphia so she could adopt this magnificent cat. They’re doing great and Stormy no longer lives up to her name.

August

My rescue took part in #CleartheShelters, a national program to help pets get adopted in a 24-hr period. We were off to a great start because Heidi Voight, journalist and Anchor on the local NBC affiliate came over to interview me and meet the #SweetSuperheroes. We did an hour-long live Facebook event and I think we were in the news about 10 times over the next few weeks.

The problem was, we didn’t have a shelter to clear, so that meant doing an adoption event at Watertown BMW. Being surrounded by $100,000 cars and anxious adopters and yet more news media was literally a crazy ride. The folks at Hoffman Auto Group BMW were awesome, but some of the potential adopters left something to be desired…yes, screaming kids, demanding kids who wanted a kitten “RIGHT NOW” and unapologetic parents shocked and angry with me. They asked why I would deny their application to their face when the dad would declare they would let our kittens outside even after the mom hushed him and said “They don’t allow going outside. Don’t you get it?” Followed by "dad" getting so angry I thought I was going to have to call the police.

Thankfully, one kid was nice and his parents were just as sweet. They saw a poster of Buddy and Belle, my ex-boyfriend’s two cats. They’d been in our rescue for almost a year with not one application for their adoption and they would be too scared to be at the adoption event so the best I could do was have a poster advertising them.

I told the lady their story and she was smitten. A few weeks later, Buddy and Belle were adopted. Her new mom says it’s like they were home from the second they arrived. They’re doing great and the new joke is her son likes to blame things he did on the cats.

And then Fluff Daddy got really sick, really fast...Horrible, bloody mushy stool. I was terrified it was PanLeuk. How did he get it? He had to be confined to a cage, then a few other cats got very mildly ill. Tests came back positive for Giardia. How could he get it? Guess what I didn't know? Adult cats can have chronic episodes of it or it can be intermittent! Gah! It's really contagious, but thank God it wasn't PanLeuk.

Shitty September

The brown month. Diarrhea. Kittens with diarrhea. Kittens squirting the walls, floors, bedding, pretty much everywhere but the litter pan, with stinky, pudding poo. I could not get most of the foster kittens to resolve their runs. We did so many tests and trips to the Vet followed by a zillion de-worming protocols and found NOTHING.

Joan had warned me about Tritrichomonous Foetus. It’s pretty much impossible to test for, though we did do a PCR fecal test (negative) and treatment can cause neurological damage and may not even work. I was to a point where I didn’t want to go into the foster room because it would take over an hour to clean it every time I entered it. I was so angry and frustrated that I imagined kicking the kittens outside, but I would NEVER DO THAT EVER. Instead I just cried as I scrubbed the floor yet again. The kittens were oblivious to my suffering. They were not sickly at all, unless you counted them leaking stool out of their rear ends while they were playing.

I put the cats on a raw diet. They got better quickly, so as the kittens got adopted, their new families had to promise to keep them on the raw diet. So far, so good.

The highlight of the month was my play date in NYC with Mario Arbore who is an architect by day and fantasy cat furniture designer by night. I can’t do better than to have a buddy who builds cat furniture, right? His business is called Square Paws (humans measure space in square feet, so Mario’s coined the term “square paws” to indicate how cats measure space).

Mario had been graciously helping me design a brand new foster room for Kitten Associates. We’d bounced a few ideas around over the summer that were truly inspired. The main foster room in my home is totally run down and I want to create a showpiece for our kittens and to allow us to increase adoptions and have a safer, more entertaining home for our fosters. Mario is incredibly creative and though our workload has prevented us from locking down a theme, I hope we’ll get there in 2018.

October

The Big Chocolate Show returned after being on hiatus for a few years and boy was I happy it came back. The show was fantastic. I learned that there’s some kickass chocolate coming from Ecuador and that I will eat as many samples of chocolate as the vendors will hand out.

With Buddy, Belle and many of the kittens adopted, I took time to focus on trying to make a living and for a quick escape to New York City!

©2017 Robin AF Olson. I actually left the house! Here I am at NY ComicCon where I got to meet one of my idols, Bob Camp, who did the animation art for Ren & Stimpy. I also had a chance to get back to work as a Graphic Designer. I love working with Royal Bobbles on their carton graphics for the main cast of Better Call Saul.

I also had the honor of creating the carton for Bob Ross, the afro-hairdo-headed painter who had a show in the 1970s on PBS that’s in re-runs on Netflix even today.

To see more examples of my design projects, visit Ultra Maroon Design.

The biggest thrill was having a chance to design the new cartons for over half a dozen of The Walking Dead figures. Those designs are still in development so I can’t show them, but I’m crossing my fingers they’ll be greenlighted into development in 2018. The only problem with this project was I felt I needed to watch all 8 seasons of TWD so I could do a better job with the design. It’s a compelling and interesting show, but watching the entire program over the course of a month left me feeling a bit paranoid. I had to fight off the urge to strap a weapon to my leg when I did a run to the grocery store.

November

Waverly found her forever home with a retired couple named Molly and Sam. I was thrilled that the cat we feared was feral was really just a sweet, mild-mannered lady. Her kittens, Willoughby and Weatherby were adopted together over the summer.

Then one night, just before Thanksgiving, my dear 16-year old cat, the Mascot of this blog, Spencer vomited. It was a lot of food. He sounded like he aspirated some of it. Normally I’d wait it out and see how he did, but something told me to go to the vet right NOW because they were going to close soon.

Dr. Mary found a big mass in Spencer’s abdomen and feared it was an aggressive cancer. So began our journey of tests, scans and treatments until we realized that the next step would have to be surgery or palliative care and prepare to say goodbye. We'd already lost 4 cats in 2017. I prayed there wouldn't be another.

December and Beyond

Every time my cats get really sick, I get sick with worry. I try to take a breath, have faith, focus on my cat, but I often find myself not sleeping, not being able to concentrate on work and wanting to bury my head in the sand. But it was Spencer. I had to face whatever it was. I had to face that maybe this was it and I had to face that I couldn’t afford to provide surgery for my beloved cat even if there was a chance it could give him more time.

I almost didn’t ask for help, but in the end I did do a fundraiser. Thanks to A LOT of REALLY REALLY REALLY AWESOME people, we raised just enough to have the surgery done. I still can’t believe it happened at all and am blown away that we got the funds together in just four days.

Now that I had the funds, I had to decide for sure if we were going to move forward because there were lots of risks involved and quite a few could happen after the surgery was over.

On December 5th, Dr. Weisman removed a 6cm mass off the very tip of Spencer’s pancreas. The amazing thing was it wasn’t cancerous, but there WAS small cell lymphoma found in other areas. It’s extremely rare that a cat has a benign mass like Spencer’s and I was so grateful, because those sorts of masses often are very aggressive cancers and lymphoma is slow-growing. At the time, I didn’t know if removing the mass would help him, but now, a month later, I can say that Spencer is so much better that he often surprises me.

He’s had a lot of ups and downs and I have to carefully monitor what he eats because he did get pancreatitis after surgery. He’s eating all right, not quite enough. He’s given me some very bad scares, like trying to eat cat litter when he got badly constipated and was battling anemia (He lost a lot of blood during surgery and I read that cats who lick cement or cat litter often are anemic.).

We recently did new blood tests to confirm the pancreatitis and anemia and were surprised to see Spencer’s kidney values had improved some.

Today, Spencer’s getting up the stairs to come to bed and tuck me in just like he used to do. He’s also smacking foster cat Andy in the face and chasing after toys. He LOOKS better. His eyes aren’t so sunken. He’s grooming himself more. I honestly am completely thrilled to see him like this.

It’s time to start him on Chlorambucil, a form of chemotherapy that we hope will retard the growth of the lymphoma and help him feel even better. I already have him on CBD Oil, which may also help and will certainly keep him comfortable even if it doesn’t effect the cancer. I’ve decided to put off starting him on prednisilone because it IS a steroid and Spencer’s oncologist is ok with not using it right away. I’m hoping the CBD oil will take the place of the pred for now. Why? Because steroids really do a number on the body and I’d rather help give him vitality and protect his failing kidneys for as long as I can.

Needless to say, with all the vet runs and care Spencer needed, Christmas cards didn’t get printed and I didn’t do much to plan for “the day.” Somehow it was still a really nice holiday, aside from all the guilt I had for not getting everything done and for not being able to buy presents for anyone except Sam.

Sam and I have had one thing after another go wrong with our finances and honestly I’m terrified that if things don’t improve we will lose our home. We’re trying to keep the faith and we’re both working as hard as we can. So many people have it far worse off than we do, I can’t complain. I’m happy I have a home, it’s not on fire or swept away by a hurricane. I have my dear cats, as much as they often annoy me, they’re still one of the few reasons I get out of bed in the morning.

And I’m determined, after nearly eight years of constant fostering, to take this winter off and focus on work and getting funds for Kitten Season. The other cat rescue in town surprised everyone by deciding to close after many years.

Their reason, they aren’t needed any more, which is completely absurd. They spun it into making it sound like they solved the feral and free-roaming cat problem in Newtown so they can look like heroes and get out of doing rescue any longer. It just puts a bigger strain on Kitten Associates so we’ll need to ramp up.

I expect 2018 to be very busy for us as we shoulder more responsibility in helping local cats, but in a way I’m excited for the challenge and crazy as it seems, I really do miss having little ones here.

Here’s to 2018. May we all have a safe, loved, prosperous and Happy New Year!

Oh, and the last two kittens from the #SweetSuperhero rescue were adopted just after Christmas. Congratulations to the Mighty Macaroon and Professor Sprinkles!

-----------------A few hours later------------------

….I just got a text message…“Robin, I just found a kitten. Can you take him?”

Source: http://coveredincathair.com/content/2017-look-back-tumultuous-year

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brendanmoviedate · 8 years ago

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"Nobody will ever notice that. Filmmaking is not about the tiny details. It's about the big picture."

All through 2015, I’d been hearing about people doing a new-movie-a-day challenge starting January 1st and ending December 31. It seemed like a great idea for clearing through my watch list and an excuse to get out to the theatre more.

So for 2016, I decided part way into January that I was going to go for it. By that point, I was only a few movies behind, so how hard would it be to catch up and get to 366 (I just had to pick a leap year for this) by December 31? Well, by April, I was about 15 movies behind, and this was with watching three or more films every Saturday while my girlfriend was in class. Still, I was confident - my girlfriend would be going to school in London starting in September, so I’d have lots of free time to cram in some extra movies.

Flashforward to October, and an outdoorsy summer and month-long trip to the UK found me around 80 movies behind pace. Not good. I thought about giving up, but I’m too stubborn and foolish to let go of stupid things like this. October was rough. I watched movies all weekend, every weekend. I found the movies on my list that were less than 90 minutes, so as to pile on an extra film or two. By the end of the month, I had watched 100 films in 30 days. Halfway through December I reached 366, capping out at 374.

What did I learn?

This type of challenge really fucks up your decision-making abilities

When trying to decide between going out and watching a movie, or reading and watching a movie, or doing chores and watching a movie, or grabbing a meal at a restaurant and watching a movie, watching a movie always seemed like the right choice, just to get me closer to that goal of 366. Every time I chose to do something other than watch a movie, I felt anxious that this could have been the one movie keeping me from reaching my goal. It was rough. I’m only now getting over this feeling and it’s already March (spoilers: I’m never going to do this again).

The “only new movies” clause really stung

There were so many times when I wanted to watch a recent favourite, but couldn’t justify it. Mad Max: Fury Road, 22 Jump Street, Nightcrawler, Sicario, et al. kept beckoning me, but I would invariably choose something new.

Peak TV takes a backseat

With only a few minor excpetions (Veep, Silicon Valley, Game of Thrones), my TV watching for the year plummeted. I was already behind on shows like The Americans, Orphan Black, and Fargo that I really wanted to watch, but multi-episode seasons would eat up too much prime movie-watching time.

You don’t always watch what’s good, only what’s available

Netflix is so diluted at this point with direct-to-video releases and Netflix originals starring Adam Sandler that finding something of quality to watch was always difficult. Often I’d find myself watching a mid-2000s action movie instead something from my iMDB list just because it was on Netflix. Other times, even if I film I’d wanted to watch was on Netflix, like Son of Saul or Leviathan, I’d watch The Book of Eli because I was already too worn out by a day’s worth of watching movies.

A movie-a-day only really makes sense for those who can watch a movie a day

Work+girlfriend+dodgeball+hockey+friends meant I had only two or three days a week to squeeze in movies, necessitating regular marathons. It really defeats the purpose of the challenge and wears out the viewer on a physical and psychological level.

Korean thrillers are awesome

I watched a number of excellent films from some of Korea’s best directors, mostly in the horror and/or thriller genres. Bong Joon-ho’s Memories of a Murder and The Host, Kim Jee-woon’s The Age of Shadows, Na Hong-jin’s The Wailing, and Yeon Sang-ho’s Train to Busan all explored well-trodden movie tropes from fresh perspectives and made choices that North American filmmakers would normally shy away from. All of these films are classics that I can see myself revisiting over and over again. Of these films, Memories of a Murder is probably my favourite, serving as a Zodiac-like look into the futility of murder investigations. I should also mention Park Chan-wook’s The Handmaiden here, but I’ve talked about that masterpiece twice already.

Brian De Palma is an underrated master

Unabashedly fixated on voyeurism in his films, De Palma constructs tightly scripted, twisty plots that focus on peeping, spying, surveilling, and stalking as a means of telling a vast breadth of stories. His films are sleazy in all the right ways, but he brings to his low, almost uncomfortable, subject matter a brilliant technical understanding of film. Raising Cain, Body Double, and Dressed to Kill are all great examples of his craft, but it’s 1981′s Blow Out, starring a never-better John Travolta that is the perfect synthesis of his methods and methodology. The use of sound, split-screen, and split-diopters to focus on foreground and background at the same time is as captivating as the plot.

The worst movies were unfunny comedies

This probably shouldn’t have come as a surprise to me, but the worst kind of movie is an unfunny comedy. Not necessarily comedies with unfunny jokes (which, don’t get me wrong, are also nigh unwatchable), but comedies without jokes whatsoever. The films I’m talking about are those that are considered comedies because they weren’t serious enough to be dramas or tense enough to be thrillers, but instead just some stuff happens to the characters that provides a minor conflict or misunderstanding before an uninspired resolution. Fortunately, I only saw a couple of these, but they were painful enough to leave scars - The Overnight and the deliberately ironically titled The Comedy. The less said about The Overnight, the better, but I’ll at least faintly praise The Comedy for being a deliberate joke on its audience by being so gleefully unfunny.

I’m finally on board for the Fast & Furious franchise

After a meh first instalment and a horrible sequel, this franchise was as good as dead to me. With Furious 7 dominating the box office and positive word of mouth for the series finally drowning out my doubts, I decided to hop back into the franchise with the third instalment, Tokyo Drift. This film wasn’t by any means great, but it was engaging and personal in the way that the first two weren’t. When the next film cut back to Vin Diesel and company, I was slightly disappointed, as the band of thieves dynamic didn’t really meet my needs. However, it was Fast 5, when the franchise got a Dwayne Johnson injection, that it became an over-the-top superhero team-up movie. This film was absolutely insane, culminating in a getaway chase with a giant vault tied behind the vehicles demolishing half of Rio. The next two films failed to live up to Fast 5, but still featured cartoonish lunacy in the form of a wedge car vaulting other vehicles into the air and Dwayne Johnson flexing out of a cast.

The films of the 70′s and early 80′s continue to impress me

We’ve all heard that the 1970′s were the true golden age of cinema. Godfather this, Annie Hall that. But there’s so much more of value than the masterpieces everyone lauds. Sorcerer, Possession, The Warriors, Marathon Man, and The Taking of Pelham One Two Three are all vastly different films, but all have incredible performances, perfect pacing, and are utterly captivating. Sorcerer, about a group of drivers carrying unstable dynamite through treacherous jungles, and Possession, featuring Sam Neill as a spy watching his wife’s character slowing change into something else, both stayed me long after they were over, due to their incredible suspense and shocking outcomes.

Lilo & Stitch might be my favourite Disney movie

The Disney Renaissance died after the release of Mulan, with Tarzan, The Emperor’s New Groove, and Atlantis: The Lost Empire failing to capture imaginations the same way Aladdin or Beauty and the Beast did. Combining this decline with my bumbling journey through adolescence, it’s only natural that I’d didn’t give them a chance. So it’s with great regret that I did not see Lilo & Stitch until 2016. This film has all the heart and morals of a typical Disney film, but it’s incredibly funny as well. This was one of the movies I laughed at the hardest last year, mostly due to the antics of Stitch, who seems part koala and part centipede. This will easily get a rewatch over any of the Renaissance films. I wonder if a live action remake is in the works.

Return to Sleepaway Camp is as boring and tone deaf as Sleepaway Camp is fun and outrageous

Sleepaway Camp is a notorious cult classic, featuring campy performances and low tech slasher violence as well as one of the most genuinely shocking and disgusting reveals I’ve ever seen in a film. The image of it's final frame is forever burned into my brain. Naturally, the film garnered a few poorly conceived sequels with no one from the first film involved, which were easy enough to ignore. However, what I couldn’t help but be intrigued by was a “true” sequel from the original writer-director, featuring at least a handful of the original cast. If ever I regret watching a movie, it’s this one. Return to Sleepaway Camp reeked of desperation and ineptitude, from a director who had been far removed from filmmaking for the 25 years since his debut was released. It’s shrill, loud, derivative, boring, and featuring a twist so outrageously apparent for the whole film, it felt like a big “fuck you” to whomever watched and liked the first film.

The Purge movies are getting increasingly closer to being worthy of their own premise.

The first film in the Purge series was a missed opportunity. Setting up a brilliant premise, where all crime is legal for one night a year, the filmmakers foolishly decided to confine the film to within a single house for an uninspired home invasion thriller. The Purge: Anarchy brought the action to the streets for some expanded world building and introduced Frank Grillo as the new face of the franchise. But it wasn’t until the third film that real characters and an interesting plot developed. The Purge: Election Year is topical, disturbing, and more visually interesting than the previous films; if the series continues in this upward direction, I’ll be completely on board for the annual purge.

As I said earlier, this experiment was taxing, making me feel the crunch of a deadline for an entire year. But despite those struggles, I’d qualify it as a success. For each bad and mediocre film I watched, I watched two that I liked. I found a bunch of classics that I’ll be sure to return to over and over, and a bunch of directors whose filmographies I can make my way through.

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nahoo883 · 6 years ago

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It’s time to pay serious attention to TikTok

If you haven’t been paying attention to TikTok, you haven’t been paying attention. The short-form video app hailing from Beijing’s ByteDance just had its biggest month ever with the addition of 75 million new users in December — a 275 percent increase from the 20 million it added in December 2017, according a recent report from Sensor Tower.

Despite its rapid rise, there are still plenty of people — often, older people — who aren’t quite sure what TikTok is.

TikTok is often referred to as a “lip-syncing” app, which makes it sound like it’s some online karaoke experience. But a closer comparison would be Vine, Twitter’s still sorely missed short-form video app whose content lives on as YouTube compilations.

While it’s true that TikTok is home to some standard lip-syncing, it’s actually better known for its act-out memes backed by music and other sound clips, which get endlessly reproduced and remixed among its young users.

youtube

Its tunes are varied — pop, rap, R&B, electro and DJ tracks serve as backing for its 15-second video clips. But the sounds may also be snagged from YouTube music videos (see: I Baked You A Pie above), SoundCloud or from pop culture — like weird soundbites from Peppa Pig or Riverdale — or just original creations.

These memes-as-videos reference things familiar to Gen Z, like gaming culture (see below). They come in the form of standalone videos, reactions, duets, mirrors/clones and more.

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The app has been growing steadily since it acquired its U.S.-based rival Musical.ly in November 2017 for north of $800 million, then merged the two apps’ user bases last August.

This gave TikTok the means to grow in Western markets, where it has attracted the interest of U.S. celebrities like Jimmy Fallon and Tony Hawk, for example, along with YouTubers on the hunt for the next new thing.

But unlike Vine (RIP), YouTube or Instagram, TikTok doesn’t yet feel dominated by micro-celebs, though they certainly exist.

Instead, its main feed often surfaces everyday users — aka, amateurs — doing something cute, funny or clever, with a tacit acknowledgement that “yes, this is an internet joke” underlying much of the content.

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Okay, okay.

Sometimes these videos are described as “cringey.”

But that’s because those of us trying to talk about TikTok are old(er) people who grew up on the big ol’ mean internet.

Cringey, frankly, is an unfair label, as it dismisses TikTok’s success in setting a tone for its community. Here, users will often post and share unapologetically wholesome content, and receive less mocking than elsewhere on the web — largely because everyone else on TikTok posts similar “cringey” content, too.

You might not know this, however, if your only exposure to TikTok comes from YouTube’s TikTok Cringe Compilations. But spend a day in the (oddly addictive) TikTok feed, and you’ll find a whole world of video that doesn’t exist anywhere else on the web — including on YouTube. Videos that are weird, sure — but also fun to watch.

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It’s a stark comparison to the existing social media platforms.

Users today are engaged in the culture wars on Twitter (ban the Nazis! protect free speech!), while YouTubers are gaming the algorithm with hateful, exploitive, dangerous and otherwise questionable content that freaks out advertisers. And Facebook is, well, contributing to war crimes and the toppling of democracy.

Meanwhile, TikTok presents an alternative version of online sharing. Simple, goofy, irreverent — and frankly, it’s a much needed reset.

For example, some of the popular TikTok memes have included videos of kids proclaiming what a great mom they have, as they drag her into frame, or they remind people to pick up litter and conserve water. They might give themselves silly, but self-affirming makeovers where, afterwards, they cite themselves not as “cute” but rather “drop. dead. gorgeous.”

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They might spend hours setting up gummy bears as Adele concert-goers, learning how to do a shuffle dance up a set of stairs or in a dance battle their dad. Or they may showcase some special talent — drawing, painting, gymnastics, dance or skateboarding, perhaps. They do science experiments, make jokes or use special effects for a little video magic.

They shout out “hit or miss!” in public places and wait to see who answers. (Look it up.)

Sometimes it’s dumb, Sometimes it’s clever. But it’s addictive.

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Of course, it is still the internet. And TikTok isn’t perfect.

The app has also been the subject of troubling reports about its “dark” side, which is reportedly filled with child predators and teens bullying and harassing one another. It’s not clear, however, that TikTok’s affliction with these matters is any worse than any other large, social, public-by-default app of its size.

And unlike some apps, concerned parents — or the users themselves — can set a TikTok account to private, turn off commenting, hide the account from search, disable downloads, disallow reactions and duets and restrict an account from receiving messages.

It is concerning, however, that under-13 kids are setting up social media accounts without parental consent. (But, uh, have you seen Fortnite and Roblox? This is what kids do. At least the TikTok main feed isn’t worrisome, we’ve found.)

The bigger issue, though — and one that could ultimately prove damaging to TikTok — is whether it will be able to keep up with content filtering and takedown requests, or handle its security and privacy protection issues as it scales up.

Content and community aren’t the only things contributing to TikTok’s growth.

While Vine may have introduced the concept of short-form video, TikTok made video editing incredibly simple. You don’t need to be a video expert to put together clips with a range of effects. It’s the Instagram for the mobile video age — in a way that Instagram itself won’t be able to reproduce, having already aligned its community with influencers and advertisers.

TikTok’s sizable user base, meanwhile, is due not only to its growth in Western markets, but because of its traction in emerging markets like China and India.

This allowed TikTok to rank No. 4 worldwide across iOS and Android, combined, according to App Annie’s data on the most-downloaded apps of 2018. On iOS, TikTok was the No. 1 most-downloaded app of the year, mainly thanks to China.

At times last year, TikTok even ranked higher than Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and YouTube.

Both App Annie and Sensor Tower agree that TikTok scored the No. 3 position for most installs among all apps worldwide in 2018.

Now, TikTok is growing in India, says Sensor Tower.

The country accounted for 27 percent of new installs between December 2017 and December 2018, and last month was the source for 32.3 million of TikTok’s 75 million total new downloads — a 25x increase from last year.

Some of this growth comes from ad spend, according to a report from Apptopia, which examined the app’s widened use of ad networks. (It’s also driving people bonkers with its YouTube ads).

The revenue is starting to arrive, as well.

Worldwide, users spent $6 million tipping their favorite live streamers, a 253 percent year-over-year jump from December 2017’s total of $1.7 million, Sensor Tower estimates. But live streaming is not the default activity on TikTok — it added the feature after shutting down Musical.ly’s live streaming app, Live.ly.

Above: full-screen ad in TikTok when app is first launched; spotted today

Think this is the first real ad campaign I’ve seen on @tiktok_us. @kerrymflynn pic.twitter.com/zt3JcSYCz0

— chris harihar (@chrisharihar) January 26, 2019

Above: an ad appearing earlier this month

TikTok is also starting to test in-app advertising, and is being eyed by agencies as a result. When you launch TikTok, you may see a full-page splash screen ad of some kind — though the company has not officially launched ad products.

But the brands are starting to take notice. This week, for example, TikTok collaborated with SportsManias, an officially licensed NFL Players Association partner, for the introduction of NFL-themed AR animated stickers in time for the Super Bowl. The move feels like a test for how well branded content will perform within the TikTok universe, but the company says it’s “not an ad deal.”

The company also declined to say how many are today using TikTok.

However, parent company ByteDance had publicly stated last year that it had 500 million monthly active users when it announced the app’s rebranding post-merger. It has yet to release new numbers for its global user base.

That said, ByteDance just shared updated stats for China only, on all versions of the TikTok app (including the non-Google Play Android version). It says that TikTok now has 500 million monthly active users in China alone.

Sensor Tower today estimates TikTok has grown to nearly 800 million lifetime installs, not counting Android in China.

Factoring in those Android in China installs, it’s fair to say this app has topped 1 billion downloads.

Here comes the new new internet, folks. It’s big, dominated by emerging markets, mobile, video, meme-ified, and goes viral both online and off.

So if you haven’t been paying attention to TikTok, you may want to get started.

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0 notes

readersforum · 6 years ago

Text

It’s time to pay serious attention to TikTok

New Post has been published on http://www.readersforum.tk/its-time-to-pay-serious-attention-to-tiktok-2/

It’s time to pay serious attention to TikTok

Despite its rapid rise, there are still plenty of people — often, older people — who aren’t quite sure what TikTok is.

youtube

These memes-as-videos reference things familiar to Gen Z, like gaming culture (see below). They come in the form of standalone videos, reactions, duets, mirrors/clones and more.

youtube

The app has been growing steadily since it acquired its U.S.-based rival Musical.ly in November 2017 for north of $800 million, then merged the two apps’ user bases last August.

But unlike Vine (RIP), YouTube or Instagram, TikTok doesn’t yet feel dominated by micro-celebs, though they certainly exist.

youtube

Okay, okay.

Sometimes these videos are described as “cringey.”

But that’s because those of us trying to talk about TikTok are old(er) people who grew up on the big ol’ mean internet.

youtube

It’s a stark comparison to the existing social media platforms.

Meanwhile, TikTok presents an alternative version of online sharing. Simple, goofy, irreverent — and frankly, it’s a much needed reset.

youtube

They shout out “hit or miss!” in public places and wait to see who answers. (Look it up.)

Sometimes it’s dumb, Sometimes it’s clever. But it’s addictive.

youtube

Of course, it is still the internet. And TikTok isn’t perfect.

Content and community aren’t the only things contributing to TikTok’s growth.

TikTok’s sizable user base, meanwhile, is due not only to its growth in Western markets, but because of its traction in emerging markets like China and India.

At times last year, TikTok even ranked higher than Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and YouTube.

Both App Annie and Sensor Tower agree that TikTok scored the No. 3 position for most installs among all apps worldwide in 2018.

Now, TikTok is growing in India, says Sensor Tower.

Some of this growth comes from ad spend, according to a report from Apptopia, which examined the app’s widened use of ad networks. (It’s also driving people bonkers with its YouTube ads).

The revenue is starting to arrive, as well.

Above: full-screen ad in TikTok when app is first launched; spotted today

Think this is the first real ad campaign I’ve seen on @tiktok_us. @kerrymflynn pic.twitter.com/zt3JcSYCz0

— chris harihar (@chrisharihar) January 26, 2019

Above: an ad appearing earlier this month

The company also declined to say how many are today using TikTok.

Sensor Tower today estimates TikTok has grown to nearly 800 million lifetime installs, not counting Android in China.

Factoring in those Android in China installs, it’s fair to say this app has topped 1 billion downloads.

Here comes the new new internet, folks. It’s big, dominated by emerging markets, mobile, video, meme-ified, and goes viral both online and off.

So if you haven’t been paying attention to TikTok, you may want to get started.

0 notes

technicalsolutions88 · 6 years ago

Link

Despite its rapid rise, there are still plenty of people — often, older people — who aren’t quite sure what TikTok is.

These memes-as-videos reference things familiar to Gen Z, like gaming culture (see below). They come in the form of standalone videos, reactions, duets, mirrors/clones and more.

The app has been growing steadily since it acquired its U.S.-based rival Musical.ly in November 2017 for north of $800 million, then merged the two apps’ user bases last August.

But unlike Vine (RIP), YouTube or Instagram, TikTok doesn’t yet feel dominated by micro-celebs, though they certainly exist.

Okay, okay.

Sometimes these videos are described as “cringey.”

But that’s because those of us trying to talk about TikTok are old(er) people who grew up on the big ol’ mean internet.

Cringey, frankly, is an unfair label, as it dismisses TikTok’s success in setting a tone for its community. Here, users are able to post and share unapologetically wholesome content, and receive far less mocking than elsewhere on the web — largely because everyone else on TikTok posts similar “cringey” content, too.