#misgendering and not apologizing for it should not upset you it cannot viscerally upset you bc it will happen all the time and that is life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yay-depression · 2 years

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me: wasn’t allowed to be upset as a child and realize that being upset is ok and not bad and won’t end everything

me at 13: gets distressed when actually upset and shuts down as a human being, closes off and doesn’t express anything unless entirely alone

me now after years of therapy: tries to express distress and being upset in hopes of learning that being upset is not bad

my father who coincidentally never let me be upset as a child: you are taking it too personally. simply, do not let things viscerally upset you. you will be fine. there is no judgement here if you want to let it ruin you but you shouldn’t let it ruin you because it will never change and that is that.

#someone got misgendered in front of the whole class by the teacher and then the teacher refused to apologize and defended herself #and then other students (who were all cis) were also defending her #and the argument boiled down to:#your gender is too complicated to explain to children #idk somehow the idea of not being a boy or a girl is too complex for kids #not like i was a kid who didn’t feel like a boy or a girl or anything #and not like we’ve not done YEARS of activism work in public schools to try and teach about gender more #no no that doesn’t count at all #the children will simply be confused #even though we say pronouns at the beginning of our performance #why would be acknowledge the thing we are supposed to represent #actual diversity in a show about diversity?? not on my teacher’s watch apparently #so i was upset and called my dad bc you know #i need to get picked up bc i can’t drive #and he picked me up and asked wtf was going on and i told him and he was like #have you considered there are two sides to this?#like oh wow have i considered two sides to basic human decency huh no guess i didn’t #not like the other side is being shoved in my face all the time or anything #and then he was like #misgendering and not apologizing for it should not upset you it cannot viscerally upset you bc it will happen all the time and that is life #which has been his advice to me my entire life about everything #imagine being six and being like ‘wow the world is so cool’ and your father unprompted saying ‘yeah but it sucks and it’ll never get better’#that was my childhood #i love having cis parents /s #also the entire time he was like ‘yeah but you’re upset bc it affects you personally’ and i was like yeah #and so he was like ‘then you are simply taking it too personally’#THOSE ARE INHERENTLY CONTRADICTING STATEMENTS FUCKING PICK ONE #IS IT PERSONAL TO ME OR AM I TAKING IT TOO PERSONALLY??

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