#misfire turns the decepticons around and lounges in the throne demanding snacks but thats it thats his evil reign of terror

[thenamesblurrito]

"i can't believe i did that! ...but my god, i'm proud of it."

oh now this title belongs on a fic following the ridiculous story of how Misfire became the Decepticon Emperor of Destruction by murdering his way up the chain of command until there was nobody left, completely on accident!

so maybe Misfire is not the most... inspired Decepticon, with more than a few complaints about how the top brass are running things, and he's not sure if Megatron is possessed or just on a really bad drug trip but he's starting to sound like a lunatic. and maybe Misfire is not the most... skilled Decepticon, i mean he's just a grunt with a mass produced frametype, and there's a reason he has that name, but. he never MEANT to shoot his commanding officer right through the spark, honest!! the rifle didn't even have a power pack plugged in!! he was just trying to put it back in its holster when it fired, and he's sweating all through the trial to determine if it was murder or accident, and when they conclude he's not guilty he's too elated to realize their punishment for him is taking over the workload of his dead superior

wait, what?

so now Misfire is in charge of the same band of stupid grunts he was stuck in to begin with, with a new, stronger, harsher commander and more responsibility to juggle, and access to deadlier weapons. it's a miracle he isn't dead of stress or executed for mistakes within a month, but it's even more of a miracle that this new commander dies at his hands within three months. it's an accident, he swears it, he just wasn't looking where he was flying on the battlefield and shooting blindly, as usual, when he heard a pained scream and saw someone familiar crash and when he went to help out, it was his commander who attacked him in retaliation and he just flailed in panic and apparently tore out a vital energon line or something and now he's standing on the battlefield over the corpse of his superior officer with his group of grunts surrounding him cheering at his victory and they're congratulating him on his savagery and how he's clearly ambitious and an honorable duel to the death is such a good way to win leadership-

Misfire needs a paper bag to hyperventilate into

and it just keeps happening. his original core team of grunts are swiftly appointed to be his co-commanders and advisors when he has the authority to do so, and the newly-created Scavengers, the supposed elite team of brutes headed by the ambitious and conniving Misfire, slowly but steadily rise in the ranks. his reputation for clever ruses and beguiling goofiness before heartlessly taking out his commander starts to get him attention. he's known as the second Starscream. after he winds up in the upper echelons of the air force following some truly spectacular accidental murders (malfunctioning ship controls that jettisoned the commander's quarters directly into an asteroid, a fumbled grenade dropped over the side of a building, dumping his stash of illicit drugs during barracks inspection only to poison a dozen officers at once, etc), he ends up known as the only Starscream when, mid flight, he gets distracted and zooms straight into a monologuing Starscream, who crashes and explodes and, as per the tradition of taking the rank of the one you killed, subsequently leaves Misfire second in command of the Decepticons

Megatron could have lasted forever against Starscream, but Misfire manages to take him out within the week without even realizing it