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https://www.npg.org.uk/collections/search/portrait/mw08084/Virginia-Woolf

https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/woodman-untitled-providence-rhode-island-ar00356

https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/woodman-space-providence-rhode-island-ar003

[mirrorgrets]

Dear Zelda, | a Tears of the Kingdom epistolatory fic | 1.1k words

Link writes down his thoughts as he travels through Hyrule (again).

buttondown.email/calderas/archive/dear-zelda-loz

[minim]

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[callmejudah]

That Glee Girl

I’d allowed many a tear to fall in the car as I sat outside the house listening to her voice for a few minutes more. But I didn’t expect to fall apart at the front door to the house. I managed the keys surprisingly well and pushed the door open. The tears were a steady flow and a lump was forming in my throat. I attempted to swallow it as I met the gaze of my ever constant welcoming committee.

“Hi, Jessie J. I’m going to make a recording today.” I tried to choke out a response of interest in my four year old niece’s plans for the day, but the pain hit me hard at that exact moment. Her worry showed on her face. “Why are you crying? What’s wrong, Jessie J?” I couldn’t answer her because my sobs became audible, restricting any possible words from coming out. I carefully made my way to the stairs to descend to my room. She went to the bottom of the stairs that would lead to the top level of the house and called out to my parents, “Jessica is crying.” Normally, I hate it when she calls me that. I cringe when anyone calls me that. She usually only uses that name immediately after my parents have said it. But I heard the softness of the way she said it. I heard the concern in her voice. And I was able to admit that she was right. The realization made my cries louder as I reached my room. 

Jessica was crying. That young girl, that lost “young lady”, as my father refers to me daily, was grieving uncontrollably. I retired my name and opted for my initials four years ago. I had taken the first step on a journey to become who I felt I was since the age of seven, though I’d never exactly known who that was. I’d only recently begun dismantling the decades of confusion, mistakes, despair and conforming that had molded Jessica and trapped Judah. But Jessica will always exist. I wept. I wailed. I tried to pull out what little hair I have. I heard my sister call my niece back to her. She’d tried to follow me down to my room like she does everyday. I choked on the vomit that was rising up to my throat and spit out the little that succeeded. All while my parents tried to console me. I finally reached that “don’t touch me!’ jerk away point and they exited the room. On her way out, my mother asked “did something happen at work (someone I cared about passed the month before) or is this about that Glee girl?” 

 That Glee girl. I said nothing. I remained hunched over with my back to her until she finally left. That Glee girl had created a safe space for me. That Glee girl had given me a circle of friends that I never would have found on my own. That Glee girl had healed wounds that I wasn’t even aware existed. She provided the pen for me to rewrite my future in the way I saw fit. And now her story has been cut short. To say I’m not coping well would be an understatement. I climbed into my bed and cried myself to sleep. I had another sixteen hour shift that would start in less than seven hours. When I returned home the next day, my niece was patiently waiting for me. She told me she’d never seen me cry like that. Never. “It was a lot”, she said. “I just wanted to make you feel better, like Grandma and Papa did. I’m sorry you cried.” 

“They didn’t make me feel better, kid. So don’t be too upset.” 

“But Jessie J, why couldn’t you tell Grandma why you were crying?” 

“You know how you fall sometimes and it hurts so much that you cry really hard?” She nodded. “And when your mom tries to ask what happened, you can’t speak clearly?” She nodded again. “It’s like that. My soul hurts, Beastie. I’m in a lot of pain. Like when Bill Withers died and you wanted him to still be alive and singing in Vegas. I miss a singer too.” 

I showed her my phone wallpaper. “She looks pretty.” I was the one who nodded then. “I’m sorry you miss her.” I assured her that she had nothing to be sorry about. Then I retired to my room and to bed, preparing for the next shift. Here we are eleven days later and I have not had a single day pass without me feeling like vomiting. I have struggled through 8 or 9 sixteen hour shifts. I have chastised myself for crying in the shower. I have buried myself in the grief of others on social media, refusing to address my own. As I make plans to travel to California for her vigil, the feeling gets worse. I’m not ready. I will never be ready. But I need the hurt to come. I need to finally pull the knife out of my chest. I will forever feel the lack that her death has left in this world. I am always going to miss the magic of “that Glee girl.” Naya Rivera, for such a long pivotal time in my life, you were my glee. Thank you. 

To her, 

With love.♥♥

[eyegiene]

Via https://www.instagram.com/p/CMmt1UoBCiK/?igshid=fyfz75rocyi4

[killeekrak]

RED ID#819456489

Lost in the Darkness and Forgotten through Death

Professor Tim Z. Hernandez’s presentation discussed a plane that crashed in Los Gatos Canyon on January 28, 1948.  In the tragic accident that occurred, several people were killed; some American citizens while most were Mexican citizens.  The crash was all over social media with the names of the deceased.  But not all of their names were released.  Only the US citizen’s names were mentioned and bodies were returned to their families, while the Mexican citizens did not have their names mentioned.  The bodies were also buried in unnamed graves sites in Fresno, California.  Hernandez spent seven long years finding family members of the deceased to help shine a little light on the families to find their long-lost relative in the dark.  

In Raoul Peck’s documentary “I Am Not Your Negro” he also helped shined a light on the African American community’s hardships and pain.  The documentary focused on James Baldwin’s life and friendships with Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, and Martin Luther King, Jr.  and their assassinations.  The documentary focused on black culture and how African Americans are treated by the “white man”.  It displayed how African Americans were treated and viewed by the public.  How they were treated unfairly because of the color of their skin or because they didn’t look like the “white man”.

In both the presentation and documentary video, they effectively used the art of music to give their stories more impact and meaning.  Hernandez had Joel Rafael sing in the beginning of his presentation to honor the lives that was lost in the plane crash.  Peck uses music and movies to give a deeper impact on certain events that occurred at that certain time.  The presentation and documentary both present a similar major problem: that some Americans favor the ideal “white man” over a colored person.  Some American citizens see themselves as superior than other races.  It’s evident when they announce the deaths of the four American citizens in the Los Gatos Canyon plane crash and not mention the names of the Mexican citizens, it’s evident when they took over the lands of the Natives because of Manifest Destiny, and it’s completely evident on the way they treat African Americans.  

[monamirrortext-blog]

I have read this book and seen the movie several times, but studying this book completely changed my way of seeing it. It was so interesting, discerning all the metaphors, allusions and harmatia that are present in the book. I enjoyed analysing the mirror effect of a book within a book and how it affected the main character, Hazel Grace. Never before have I realised how this book is clever, thorough, witty and well written. I haven’t realised the parallel between Ann Frank’s diary which ends when her life ends, and An Imperial Affliction, which also ends when the main character dies. The three girls (Hazel included) are all youths about to become women and Ann Frank and Hazel are experiencing sexuality for the same time, in the same place. I really enjoyed studying this book in class, especially when I realised that everything had a connection and a meaning. It was my favorite book we have studied. Analysing all the metaphors of this book was really my favorite part of the class.

[sarasaysphotography-blog]

cineTrek: You Know What Sparknotes Is?

One of my favorite moments was seeing you perform the Sparknotes version of the sonnet versus the old English versus Spanish because it added humor and every student in that room cringed when you mentioned Sparknotes as if they had no idea professors knew what it was.You can get varied emotions based on the dialect in which words are spoken.

When listening to sonnet 24 I made a mental note of the words windows and eyes in the spirit of MirrorText. Eyes are commonly regarded as the windows to the soul and it is as if the eyes lead to the heart thus true intentions and that person’s truths. The line, “To find where your true image pictured lies/Which in my bosom’s shop is hanging still/That hath his windows glazèd with thine eyes,” brought about the idea that only in looking through someone’s eyes and past the surface may you know someone’s heart and truth. On another note, sonnet 24 brought me back to all of the surrealist artists mentioned in This Is Magritte by Patricia Allmer. Through the simile of comparing Shakespeare’s own eye to a painter, I envisioned Magritte’s paintings The Human Condition and False Mirror side by side and the deception that depiction can be created in. Eyes may act as windows, but perhaps the window isn’t really a window at all but a depiction of what someone has already painted.

           Another obvious highlight of the night was Paul Kruse’s performance of Brush Up Your Shakespeare for all comedic purposes. He was incredibly talented and had a stage presence and persona that left me crying from laughter in my seat.

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“Freaks was a thing I photographed a lot. It was one of the things I photographed and it had a terrific kind of excitement for me. I just used to adore them. I still do adore some of them. I don’t quite mean they’re my best friends but they made me feel a mixture of shame and awe. There’s a quality of legend about freaks. Like a person in a fairy tale who stops you and demands that you answer a riddle. Most people go through life dreading they’ll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They’ve already passed their test in life. They’re aristocrats.”

- Diane Arbus

  For some analysis on Diane Arbus’s work, I read Lars Nowak’s “Disabling/Enabling Photography: On Freak Photography and Diane Arbus’s Portraits.” In this article, Nowak provides a very useful overview on the history of photographing ‘non-normative’ bodies or "freaks" and discusses the criticism Arbus’s photographs of disabled people have received as exploitative but also how this critique could miss the effectiveness Arbus’s work has in breaking down the disabled / able-bodied binary between human bodies.

  Nowak's look at early freak photographic history states that for many of the show people during the heyday of freak shows, this was a major way they were able to support themselves with many photographs even serving to show the functional abilities of disabled persons (Nowak 211), e.g. people without certain body parts using other ways to perform everyday actions or creative exercises. Nowak does, though, criticize photography which draws exaggerated attention to abnormalities and not the individuals as whole themselves.

  When Arbus is brought up, Nowak writes that she photographed ‘freaks’ during the ‘60s when freak photography was dying or already dead. Arbus also “made it a rule to photograph the disabled exclusively at their usual whereabouts” (215), not in studios but often in their public and private spaces “counter[ing] the then beginning process of [disabled people] becoming invisible” (215). This is especially the case with Arbus’s photographs at homes for the mentally disabled late in her career. Arbus is also known to “monstri[fy] what is normal” (218) in her photographs, which makes some of her photographs of disabled people even more ambiguous (such as ones where the subjects are wearing masks) while also capturing the imperfections of ‘normal bodies.’

  That people who aren’t disabled come off in Arbus’s photographs ‘just as strange’ as the ‘non-normative’ bodies is pretty telling of what Arbus may have had in mind when capturing these people in her photographs. There’s some great questions at the end of the article too - whether the camera is the distorter and not the photographer (Arbus: “Something is ironic in the world and it has to do with the fact that what you intend never comes out like you intend it” - “I don’t feel that total identity with the machine” - “One thing that struck me very early is that you don’t put into a photograph what’s going to come out. Or, vice versa, what comes out is not what you put in”) and if subjects with cognitive disabilities unaware of or dismissive of ‘norms’ are not ‘freaks’ or ‘monsters’ but examples of human potential to break free from constricting dualities like normal / abnormal or disabled / able-bodied.

“I do feel I have some slight corner on something about the quality of things. I mean it’s very subtle and a little embarrassing to me, but I really believe there are things which nobody would see unless I photographed them.”

- Diane Arbus

Some Arbus photos:

Masked woman in wheelchair, Pa. 1970

On this photo: “.. the skewed lines of the sidewalk, the tree shadows and the sunlight combine with blank windows to form a circular visual movement around the woman. As in many of Arbus’s images, this composition is based on a series of diagonal lines and geometric shapes, which are also visible in the obliquely turned wheels of the wheelchair. These slanted perspectives and objects enhance the reading of the witch figure as an apparition, a skewed vision of ordinary reality which is also a prototypical embodiment of a distorted personality. Oblique lines also create visual energy, enhancing the subject’s psychological presence and indicating her power” (“Diane Arbus’s Expressive Methods,” Diana Emery Hulick 112).

Triplets in their bedroom, N.J. 1963

Untitled (4) 1970-71 - (at an all-female Vineland home for the mentally disabled)

  P.S. Arbus quotes are from An Aperture Monograph

[mirrorgrets]

starlight choices | an interactive Coco-centric fic | 4.3k total words

Follow this short story as Coco, as she navigates her choices when it comes to magic and saving her mother.

http://rescalderas.itch.io/starlight-choices

[eyegiene]

Yikes

Bib Dummies, Photo by Martin Munkácsi, 1927-33

[arcencial]

Two Sides of the Ink

Cultural Politics of Tattoos in Japan: Nation, Body, Transformation     David Holloway Tattooing has the reputation of being negative and having negative connotations. But to many tattoos are positive, they are happy, They bring peace and strength. In the past tattoos have signified prison time, criminality, and even the number of people an individual has killed. During the holocaust those targeted by Hitler’s Nazis had serial numbers tattooed upon their bodies. It was a way of identifying them but also a way of objectifying an entire race. In the times of slavery, slave owners would mark slaves with ink to ensure if they were lost or escaped, they would be returned for ink could not be removed. Even more recently tattoos are a self brand, whether to be included in a gang or to be excluded from mainstream society. It has even been taken to the extent of having separate bathrooms, brothels and beaches for those that have tattoos so as not to offend those who do not. With these incidents kept in mind it is understandable why the Japanese culture may frown upon body modification with tattooing. But not to the point of raiding tattoo shops and punishing those who tattoo or have been tattooed. The Japanese have strict beliefs when it comes to body modification the purity of the body in general. For instance they do not believe in organ transplants even in the most dire of situations. For it may add impurities to the body. Their culture does not allow the female population to take oral contraceptives either for it distorts the natural rhythm of the human body. But now days tattoos are a form of self expression, they are therapeutic to many and worn with honor. It has been said and even more so now that people embrace the qualities that they have tattooed upon their bodies.

[callmejudah]

It's been awhile...

But I suppose I was overdue. The depression won. That's a constant. But the regret I feel? That's the overdue part.

[giillllly]

Girl Power

In Myriam Gurba’s “Mean,” she describes one of the most gruesome parts of not only her life, but also other victims as well. As a young adult, Gurba was sexually assaulted by a vicious and disgusting man. Not only did he assault her, but he assaulted other women in her community as well, and murdered a young woman named Sophia. Myrium constructs her life narrative as a way to express her assault and also pay homage to Sophia.  Although Gurba has experienced something as awful as sexual assault, she is still able to have warm smile and easygoing demeanor with her students and colleagues in present day time. Gurba chose literature as an outlet to voice her story and help many girls everywhere how to love with their assault. Gurba is an inspiration for those who have suffered the unimaginable. Her colorful life has not been taken away by such a despicable man and such a despicable act, and she continues to share her life with the world and help others to digest their own trauma. Whether or not Myrium Gurba knows it, she’s a kickass woman and powerful symbol of what a true strong woman stands for. 

[eyegiene]

At @lastbookstorela #mirrortext

[recommendednamer-blog]

A mirror of American teenagers I went to movie theatre to see a movie called “Lady Bird.” When I first heard about that movie, I have no idea what it will be like. It is really impressive after I watched it. Although I went my high school in China, and I don’t know what is high school life in America like. However, I think this movie is a mirror of American high school life. It is about the story of “Lady Bird” who is a high school girl lives in Sacramento and trying to get in her dream university in New York. Many stories happened in the movie are very impressive. Lady Bird knew Danny from the drama club. They fell in love really soon. Then, they stayed together almost everyday, and Danny invited Lady Bird to spend her Thanksgiving together with his grandmother, which is a really different experience for Lady Bird. They tried many things like alcohols that teenagers at that age usually want to try. However, they broke up later. Lady Bird argued with her mom usually, although they really love each other. After she broke up with Danny, they had an argument behind  her working place. Danny said Lady Bird’s mom is very strict, however, we then first heard Lady Bird said her mom has a big heart and is very warm. From that, we can know that Lady Bird really loves her mom. Her mom and she were arguing a lot sometimes and sometimes they are the best friends. I think most of people can find themselves in that. Although teenagers sometimes argue with their parents hardly, they still love each other. There was an big argument between themselves after her mom found that Lady Bird didn’t tell her truth about university. She even didn’t talk to Lady Bird. Lady Bird doesn’t like her city, so she was trying to make it to East Coast. Lady Bird was trying to mask herself all the time, but she finally found who is she. When she got into the college, she found out how she likes her city, how much her family like themselves although they didn’t show it at most of time. And she even started to like herself. When she was in the party in university, she firstly answered her name by her real name “Christine.” This movie is really impressive me. The characters are vivic. It is a mirror that reflects teenagers’ lives. This semester, we read “Ghost World,” which is also about life about teenager girls. In Ghost World, Enid also doesn’t like herself. She tried to use different customs and dress to mask herself. Christine used name Lady Bird to mask herself. However, the difference is that Lady Bird at the end found that her family loves her and started to be herself, but Enid got on that Bus and headed to a new city to start a new life after high school.