#miranda's road to fame

[ladykailitha]

Royal Pain Part 26

Hello, and we have got to the end of the massive arc that culminated the last four chapters.

I also wrote this part before 24 and 25 because I couldn't figure out how to write Eddie having a hard time on tour, but the aftermath flowed from my fingers.

Also as a reminder this story is finished, I'm just posting on a regular schedule. This story is the longest fanfic I've ever written. Topping out at 58165 it's definitely longer than 50K fic I wrote for NaNoWriMo last year (Sandman, never finished or published.)

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11 Pt 12 Pt 13 Pt 14 Pt 15 Pt 16 Pt 17 Pt 18 Pt 19 Pt 20 Pt 21 Meta Pt 22 Pt 23 Pt 24 Pt 25

****

“You’ve been sitting on that sofa for an entire week,” Wayne growled. “Steve has called three times, your bandmates at least a dozen times each. Hell, boy Miranda has been calling concerned. So want to tell me what’s fucking got you so twisted?”

“I was given a choice out there on the road,” Eddie said, twisting his rings around his fingers. “Stay in Indy and play small time gigs for the rest of my adult life or go to LA and get an album and the chance at super stardom.”

Wayne sat down next him. “Sounds like a big decision to make.”

Eddie leapt to his feet. “That’s the problem. That’s what makes me so angry how fucking easy the choice is.”

Wayne cocked his head to the side. “Sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate again, boy. Start talking.”

Eddie started pacing back and forth. “As much as I loved playing for so many people, I didn’t like that I could only connect with a handful of them and not even the good kind.” He rubbed his chin angrily. “I didn’t like how tired we all were. It was set up, sound check, play, break down and move on to the next fucking town. And that wasn’t including all the parties, interviews, and all that other shit.”

“That does sound exhausting, Ed.”

“I didn’t like how easy it was for them to tell me to drop Gareth as drummer just because he had trouble adjusting to the increased volume. The price of fame they said. Like it was so simple to throw away almost two decades of friendship for the sake of adoring crowds and hearing our music on the radio.”

“Oh, darlin’,” Wayne said softly. “They didn’t...”

“Oh they absolutely did,” Eddie raged. “I didn’t like how they thought that because me and Steve’s relationship was new that I would be able to find someone better. Someone who liked metal, someone who would be down for the ride.”

Wayne furrowed his brow. “That doesn’t sound like good advice.”

Eddie grabbed his hair pulled at it frustration. “The last straw was when they offered to let their tattooist to finish my back tattoo, because while my artist was good, theirs was better.”

He stopped abruptly and turned to face Wayne. “I picked Steve to do my tattoo on my back because he was the only one I trusted to make it meaningful. To understand the symbolism of making something of yourself when everyone is rooting against you. I made the decision before I fell in love with him and now that we’re a couple– and for them to just dismiss him like that? It made me so angry.”

“So what’s the problem? What’s got you so twisted around the bend?”

Eddie took a deep breath and let it out slow. “I’m fucking furious because I always thought that when fame and fortune came knocking I would throw open that door and march right through it. But now? Given the choice? I’m slamming the door in its face and walking away.”

Hot tears ran down his face. “And I don’t know why.”

He dropped to his knees and began to sob.

Wayne stood up and put his arms around his nephew’s shoulders, gently pulling him to his chest.

“Did that band you were traveling with say that?” he whispered into Eddie’s curls. “Because if they did, I swear to god I will burn every record and CD you have of theirs. Don’t think I won’t. I’ll delete them off your phone too.”

Eddie chuckled weakly. “No, no. They were kind. It was everyone else we met. Agents, managers, roadies, groupies, the people around Metallica every day.”

Wayne nodded.

“I was just constantly bombarded with hateful messages and the constant running at one hundred percent...” he whimpered. “I don’t want to do it.”

“Have you told your band that?” Wayne asked.

Eddie shook his head. “I don’t dare to. I was the one that was gung ho about the touring and everything. How do I tell them I don’t want to leave the comfort of Indianapolis and home?”

“Kinda like that,” Jeff said from the doorway. His arms were crossed and he was leaning against the frame. Peaking around him was Miranda with a concerned look on her face.

Eddie scrambled to his feet and wrapped his arms around his waist. “I’m sorry I’ve been a brat.”

Jeff took three giant steps forward and hugged him fiercely. “You’re not being a brat. You’re scared and trying to figure it all out on your own, but you don’t have to, okay? We’ve all been worried sick about you. But Steve especially. I’ll call all the boys down for a chat and you call Steve, okay?”

Eddie nodded.

He dialed the number he knew by heart.

“Baby?” he asked, unsure of the reaction he was going to get. He deserved to be yelled at. Cursed at. Broken up with. He’d hurt Steve the most with this little temper tantrum he’d been having.

“Eds?” Steve breathed. “Sunshine, are you okay? Wayne said you hadn’t been eating well or sleeping much. Say the word and I’ll be there in a heartbeat.”

Eddie’s lip began to quiver and tears spilled out of his eyes. “I need you. More than anything.”

“I’m on my way,” Steve said fiercely.

Eddie looked over at Jeff.

“Tell Steve Brian will swing by and pick him up.”

Eddie nodded and relayed the message back to Steve.

“I’ll be at my apartment,” Steve said. “I’ll have Robin arrange my schedule, don’t you worry about thing, baby.”

“Mm’k.”

“I love you, Eds.”

Eddie closed his eyes and breathed in the warmth of that simple phrase. “Love you, too, pretty boy. Come quick.”

“I promise.”

*

Steve piled into Brian’s car. It was the newest, having bought it right before they got picked up by Metallica. He had finally saved up enough money to replace his beater.

Gareth and Gethin in the backseat. Gethin had come up to Indy to watch his twin’s apartment while he was gone and just ended up staying. He was currently looking for a job so that he could move in with Gareth full time.

At least that what they said on the trip down. The twins and Brian were intent on filling the air with talk and Steve let them. He let them fill him in on the tour and everything that had been going on since they’d left.

Steve couldn’t be for certain, but it sounded like that touring hadn’t been fun for anyone. Even after a week of rest, he could still make out the circles under their eyes and how hunched over they were with just sheer exhaustion.

A feeling Steve felt all too well.

Gethin was pressed against his twin’s side and was rubbing his neck soothingly.

Steve looked at Brian.

His face was set, hard and unflinching. He was going to make the drive to Hawkins as fast as he could and still avoid the cops.

Steve was grateful Brian was driving because he didn’t think he would have made the distinction to avoid breaking the law. He would have gunned it and flipped off any cop that tried to catch him.

After awhile, Steve was getting the oddest feeling that Brian was used to speeding down this stretch of highway because there were points where he would slow down for a few miles and then speed right back up.

Soon enough they were pulling up to Wayne’s trailer and piling out the car.

*

Eddie sat on the sofa with Jeff and Miranda on either side of him, just hugging him.

Wayne was busying himself in the kitchen, getting ready to feed the hoard that was about to descend on his home.

The door opened up and Brian, Gareth, and Gethin all stumbled through the entryway. Eddie was on his feet in an instant, Jeff and Miranda not far behind.

And then the trio at the door parted and there stood Steve. Looking just as tired and worn as Eddie felt.

“Stevie?” Eddie asked, taking a step toward him uncertainly.

Steve threw open his arms and Eddie ran straight into them. They wrapped their arms around each other and just sobbed.

“I’m here, Eds,” Steve murmured into Eddie’s neck. “I’m here. I love you so much.”

Eddie lifted his head and kissed him hard. “I love you, too. I regret leaving you behind, sweetheart. It nearly killed me. Every song I wrote was about you. About missing you. I don’t even want to leave you ever again, I can’t.”

The silence that followed that statement was deafening.

Steve led Eddie back over to couch and sat them both down. “Tell us everything, babe.”

And so Eddie did. He told them everything. Everything he had told Wayne, everything that had been weighing on his mind since they started touring. It all just came out in a flood.

They all listened patiently.

“Why didn’t you tell us you felt like that while we were on the road?” Gareth asked. “I knew what they were saying about me, but I also knew you guys wouldn’t drop me. If you had me about that I would have been able to reassure you that I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

Eddie flushed with embarrassment. “I didn’t know how to bring it up, it was so vile, man.”

Jeff gave his hand a squeeze. “Well, I think that you did a bang up job telling us now and that’s what really matters.”

“Someone offered to ship me out to LA and record an album,” Eddie finally admitted. “Not the band, just me. I told him that I wouldn’t go without you guys and he laughed in my face. Told me to cut the dead weight and be a star.” He dragged his hands over his face.

“But there were other offers. Good ones. Ones that included the band, well most of it, anyway. Always under the proviso that Gareth be replaced either on tour or all together. They didn’t want to make any accommodations for him even though there is a drummer with one god damn arm!”

“So the options are,” Brian said, “stay in Indy doing what we’ve been doing, only better because of the money we got for doing this tour. Go to LA without Gareth. Go to LA with Gareth but only as a studio musician and take some person we don’t know on tour with us. Does that sound about right?”

Just then Gareth’s phone went off. He looked at it with a frown. It wasn’t a number recognized so he let it go to voicemail. He pulled it up after the notification popped up.

He listened to message with wide eyes. “Hey guys, I think we have another option.” And he played the message so everyone could hear.

“Hey, Mr Hughes,” the tinny voice said through the speaker. “This is Murray Bauman, I’m music producer, we spoke in Las Vegas. I think I have the perfect deal for you boys. You were telling me that touring was really hard on you and that if there was an option you wouldn’t do that. I know you weren’t speaking for all your band, but I could tell that they would do anything for you, all four of you being such good friends.

“So the reason for this call is that I own a small music company in Bloomington and boy do I have a deal for you all. You would make a record through us, we would sell and distribute the record, keeping a portion of the sales, of course. But you wouldn’t have to tour. You have a steady gig as I understand it. If your fans want to see you play, they’ll know where to find you.

“But give me a call, we’ll hash out the details. My phone number is 555-555-2080...” and then message beeped, signaling the end of the voicemail.

Eddie looked down at the phone and then back up at Gareth. “Oh.”

Gareth grinned. “We don’t even have to take his offer, but I vote we listen to it. Brian can bring Cecil.”

Brian nodded. “He’s only got a semester left of law school, but I’ll have him brush up on his contract law to be on the safe side.”

Jeff raised his hand. “All in favor of hearing Mr Bauman out raise your hand?”

Eddie, Brian, and Gareth’s hands shot up.

“Sounds good,” Jeff said. “You call him back and set it up and if it doesn’t work out we can vote again.”

Brian shook his head. “Nah. I think if it doesn’t work, we stick to Nightmare Holes. We took a swing at it and if it’s a miss then we tried. I thought I wanted the touring and everything that came with stardom, but like Eddie I learned I wanted the romanticized version of it. I’ll be happy playing in front of our friends for the rest of our lives.”

The rest of the band nodded.

Soon everyone getting up to go back to Indy, but Steve stayed behind, he would go back up with Eddie in the morning. They had things to discuss that went deeper then the band.

****

Part 27 Part 28 Epilogue

I told you I would fix it.

Also a little BTS, the reason in my head for why things went wrong on tour but immediately righted itself when Eddie and Steve met up again? Steve still has Eddie's lucky pick. ;)

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk ​@bookworm0690 @chaosgremlinmunson @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @justforthedead89 @emly03 @aizawa-emma @yikes-a-bee @redfreckledwolf @thesuninyaface @bookbinderbitch @archermightbegay @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @hallucinatedjosten @ellietheasexylibrarian @anne-bennett-cosplayer @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @bestwifehaver @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @oldwitcheshat @nightmareglitter @tinyplanet95 @novelnovella @jonesn4coffee @slowandsteddie @awkwardgravity1 @steaddie-on

[tumblepenguin]

Why Weird: The Al Yankovic Story is the best music biopic film

So I watched it last night and I highly recommend it! But while watching the movie I kept thinking "This script is too good. Like this is too clever for it's own good." This thought couldn't escape me. I had to break down why this movie is, quite frankly, the perfect parody and love letter to the music biopic film. Quite possibly the best music biopic film.

In this essay, I will be using the songs that are explicitly referenced in Weird: The Al Yankovic Story as a way to showcase how they reflect or subvert the music biopic film tropes. How these songs are meant show the "real life backstory" of Weird Al Yankovic (and also, the universe this movie takes place in) is quite frankly buckwild. And we start at The Beginning and our first song.

My Bologna—The movie begins with the framing device—a voice over. Then, Weird Al is going to the hospital and being pronounced dead by Lin Manuel Miranda (the Hamilton writer/multi Grammy winner who was receiving the Hollywood Walk of Fame Star the same day as Weird Al and WHO JUST HAPPENED TO BE WITH WEIRD AL AT THE TIME OF THE ANNOUCEMENT OF THEIR WINS. ANYWAY WE WILL GET BACK TO THIS PLOT POINT LATER).

More voiceover. We see the hero's journey start by showing how Weird Al was a musically gifted child, but his family discouraged him. His Mom is the traditional 50's wife while Dad is a Overworked Blue Collar Man who works at factory (BUT THE ENTIRE MOVIE, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE MAKES, SIMILAR TO HOW IN A BIOPIC MOVIE, THE "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME DAD" DAD HAS "A TOUGH JOB THAT PUT BREAD ON THE TABLE, BUT MY DAMN SON DOESN'T APPRECIATE IT" FACTORY JOB). It is here we also establish the future Mentor+Agent character, but I'm getting ahead of myself. After receiving "The One True Calling"—(ie, the traveling salesman with the accordion, others gaining the appreciation for his talent at a high school polka party, the reveal to the "You Don't Understand Me" Dad how his son played the accordion in secret (complete with doing so "in the closet" because "My mom supports my artistic achievements, but still has to be a good housewife and follow her husband's rules, but to hell with the rules" idea), only for the "You Don't Understand Me" Dad to crush his spirits (ie throw him out of the house for his talent and we get the important line of "I will become Perhaps Not Technically the Best at But Arguably the Most Famous Accordion Player")—does our hero start the journey. He has a couple of tough gigs/ getting rejected while he's away from home. The future band mates are the new friends he makes away from home (guys that, as the movie points out, have shown NO MUSICAL TALENT OR INTEREST EARLIER IN THE FILM UNTIL THE BIG "GETS DISCOVERED BY A MENTOR+AGENT" MOMENT. GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF). After encouraging our hero to keep going, the future bandmates find themselves at the BIG MOMENT. The moment when our hero is tested for first time with the 1st song. The one that all audiences will know. A softball in terms of the types of references yet to come. In this case, Weird Al gets the inspiration for My Bologna after making his future bandmates a boloney sandwich.

I Love Rocky Road—The "Gets Discovered By a Mentor+Agent" moment of the music biopic. So after the real life recording of My Bologna in the bathroom (with some "dramatic license"), our hero sends his song to Captain Buffoon, a radio DJ (great name btw). The song is played on the radio and to our hero, things are looking up for him! Wrong! The record execs with TERRIBLE WIGS™ aren't buying it! They don't understand how this will get them cash money.

(Sidebar: one of the record executives is Weird Al himself in a Terrible Wig ™. And the other executive (Will Forte) is just laying into our hero. Just laying it on with saying "You're so dumb! You'll never amount to anything. Your breath kinda sticks too!" kinda jokes. And The Real Weird Al is like "hey man, that seems a little harsh." But Will Forte keeps going, making the childish insults worse. And The Real Weird Al has to say "that's kinda harsh, you don't need to go into him like that" about Fictional Weird Al. Anyway, great sequence folks.)

But our hero is not discouraged. Cause his tape to Captain Buffoon did get him a gig at a TOUGH BIKER BAR™/the "Tough crowd to win over" moment (with one bar patron being Patton Oswald, who was originally Dr Demento in the Funny or Die sketch that kicked this whole idea off. The bar owner is Dot-Marie Jones, which made me personally happy). And so he goes up alone, starts singing. But it doesn't seem to be working! The bikers/crowd aren't buying it either! See, they know what it means to be real! But low! Our hero, being discouraged, suddenly shows that "he can do it guys"! Not only that, but his friends are joining him too! The band is forming! The crowd is loving it! What once was slurs and heckling being thrown at our hero is now rapturous applause! Our hero's trial is over. BUT, a dark entity was watching from the bar. In a funny looking getup in the shadows.

Another One Rides the Bus—The Dark Bargain begins. Our dark bargain mentor figure is Rainn Wilson, playing Dr Demento (there are 2. COUNT EM 2 JOKES ABOUT DEMENTORS IN THIS SCENE ALONE. WITH LONG PAUSES FOR AUDIENCES TO REALIZE HE REFERENCING HARRY POTTER WHILE HARRY POTTER (Daniel Radcliffe) IS ON SCREEN). The success of the song means our hero gets his first taste of FAME and HIS STAGE NAME. He goes to a party with the ultimate blunt rotation including:

• Devo

• Elton John

• PeeWee Herman

• Tiny Tim

• Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

• Alice Cooper with a fake snake

• The comedian Gallagher played by Paul F Tompkins

• Kate Pierson from the B-52s

• Grace Jones

• Divine

• Salvador Dali

• Frank Zappa

• Conan O'Brien as Andy Warhol

(Sidebar: There is also a man with a guitar talking to "Elton" and another shot of a man with white blonde hair and suit that I didn't recognize. If someone could help me identify who these are supposed to be, that would be great!)

And our hero gets tested again by Jack Black as Wolfman Jack and John Deacon (bass player of Queen, which is funny because MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THAT INFO, SO WE'RE MAKING JOKES ABOUT HOW RECOGNIZABLE SOMEONE IS. THE IDEA COMES UP AGAIN LATER IN THE MOVIE). This group of people are like the bikers—they need to see if he's the Real Thing AGAIN. Which gives us another "in universe" biopic song. And the guests are impressed! And soon, our boy is getting interviewed by Oprah (with Quinta Brunson as Oprah, which is incredible). The interview starts showing that he is getting money, the house he always wanted, The Dream ™. He even shows his chain of platinum records that he wears at all times (IT SAVES HIM LATER, TRUST ME). All he needs now is THE GIRL. Enter Evan Rachel Wood as Madonna. She sees the interview with Oprah and "Sees What She Likes

(Sidebar: in the Oprah broadcast we find out Pablo Escobar—yes, the international drug cartel leader—is one of the biggest Weird Al fans. THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER).

Cut to a hotel room. Our hero makes THE PHONE CALL BACK HOME™ to check in with the family. His mom picks up (IT'S ALWAYS THE MOM IN MOVIES. ALWAYS), and she says that she misses her little boy and Dad isn't home cause he's working the factory. The trope gets subverted because she says how disappointed she is with our hero, instead of the typical "Moms always support their kids and their kids' dreams" in most movies. This brings the hero DOWN. He finds his mentor (for some reason being in a bathtub connected to the bedroom where the The Phone Call From Home™ happens). And he gets drugged on LSD! So now we have a Dream Sequence. Which is amazing! At the end, he emerges Reborn! He has also created THE GREATEST THING EVER. His "Sgt. Pepper's" (including DRUG INFLUENCE ™) if you will.

Eat It—This time, "The record executives can do nothing but be in awe of the genius they just listened to". But our hero is tired of being a ONE TRICK PONY. He wants to make his own music. This song isn't a parody. And in the universe of the movie, Michael Jackson is the greatest Parody writer of all time. Because "Beat It" in this universe is a cover song (maybe so are all popular songs ever—hard to say). Now the little man and his accordion are the ones who dominate the charts. They shape music history forever. Not everyone he actually covers in real life.

(Sidebar: This is the most batshit thought I had while watching this movie. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.)

This song is The Biggest Song in the World. And our hero is getting even more FAME. But with that comes Another Dark Bargain. At this point in a music biopic, our hero will have/or has encountered his supposed downfall. In music biopics, it's usually the mentor+agent, corrupted by money/fame. Sometimes it's the girlfriend who's a HUGE SLUT/does a lot of drugs/encourages the use of drugs/just being a BAD INFLUENCE. In this case, the girlfriend is Madonna (someone that Conservatives think is all the things depicted in the movie already. Yes, probably even being the queen of a drug cartel after killing Pablo Escobar and then takes out Weird Al via assassination at the Not Grammy Grammys BUT I AM JUMPING AHEAD OF MYSELF IN THIS STORY). So she stops on by The Mansion™ and she and Weird Al are Opposites Attract ™. They start making out (but can't show sex scenes in a PG-13 film). And the making out is so fucking funny. But now, "The Girl is in his life, and he's starting to get distracted from his job!" plot line has entered the chat. And Dr Demento is not having it. Instead of focusing on some exciting opportunities (including playing for Pablo "Previously Stated as One of Weird Al's Biggest Fans" Escobar for his 40th birthday party. Also there's a joke about Led Zeppelin versus Howie Mandel and having Weird Al replace Roger Moore as James Bond. And he throws a fit about only doing original work. Which is hilarious since we live in a "Who's the next James Bond after Daniel Craig" era), our hero just wants to be with his BAD INFLUENCE.

While at dinner with Madonna, there is a phone call.

(Sidebar: Weird Al states "This has been the happiest six hours of my life". How I'm choosing to believe that from the time Madonna and Weird Al made out, do the Next Morning Scene™ to the time of this dinner—including the previously established "Getting Distracted" scene—all took place in six hours. Insane.)

It's from one of the record executives (played by The Real Weird Al). It's about Michael Jackson "parodying" Eat It. And our hero IS NOT HAVING IT ™. The first blow that will lead to DOWNFALL. The Phone is getting smashed. Our hero will now be linked to Michael Jackson forever because of this parody! He returns to the table and cannot eat (it. GET IT? Also the waiter is Josh Groban). Now Madonna is giving him alcohol. The Slow Decent to the Bottom has begun! Meanwhile, the band is pissed! We haven't seen them in several minutes, but the BAND IS FIGHTING is about to commence. They say Weird Al has lost touch. He threats to replace everyone with machines (even the GUY WE DON'T REMEMBER IS IN THE BAND, LIKE JASON DEACON, BASS PLAYER FOR QUEEN. See, it all comes back around). "You've changed man," is said. Dr Demento arrives to try and SALVAGE THE SITUATION ™. But "Anything you want to say, you can say in front of my BAD INFLUENCE." And the mentor figure thinks The Girl=Bad Influence. "She's only using you for her own gains" line is used. But our hero is blinded by the love/BAD INFLUENCE to see the truth. This is also where the hinting mention of Like a Surgeon happens (BUT WE'RE NOT THERE YET. THE PAYOFF HASN'T HAPPENED YET). "You're not my real dad!" (even though this entire time, Weird Al wasn't looking for a Father Figure™). The mentor+agent figure is now dismissed. Madonna runs after him, telling him not to Drive While Drunk. But hands over the car keys away cause she a BAD INFLUENCE. While Driving To Clear His Head ™, our hero flips through the radio. It's playing the top radio hits (HIS SONGS) and he turns off the radio is disgust. Suddenly we have a car crash.

Like a Surgeon—We are now back in the hospital. All of the previously stated information is the first HOUR AND FOUR MINUTES OF THIS MOVIE. TO SET UP THE REASON LIKE A SURGEON EXISTS AS A SONG. THIS IS THE GIVEN BACKSTORY FOR THIS SONG.

But now, it's The Second Biggest Thing of All Time. And we get choreography that's the Vogue choreography. And Madonna is doing it backstage. So she's inspired by Weird Al, not ballroom dance culture, to dance like that in Vogue. Fucking wild. Also the backup dancers are wearing cone bras (a thing Madonna made famous with Like a Virgin). We now get The Doors movie parody with the ROCK BOTTOM MOMENT. Which includes flashing the accordion to the audience (instead of a dick). And now, our boy is CANCELLED and has to LAY LOW, which mean going to a diner with his very famous girlfriend. Madonna says what their Hollywood couple/ship name should be. But they couldn't lay low, because Madonna got kidnaped by Pablo Escobar. That's right, you forgot about Pablo Escobar, didn't you? But I mentioned him previously. And now, he's now the main plotline. All for Weird Al not noticing him senpai.

And now our movie turns into an action movie. With an amazing diner fight+punchline at the end of the scene. Also a "Predator style jungle knockout to sneak onto the enemy's basecamp" scene. And Madonna is being held hostage during Pablo's 40th birthday party, including a mariachi band playing. But Weird Al shows up and a firefight ensues. He gains the upper hand (cause everyone is a terrible shot+Tarantino style blood squibs go off. It's awesome).

THEN PABLO ESCOBAR SHOOTS WEIRD AL DEAD.

BUT PSYCH! CAUSE CHAIN OF PLATINUM RECORDS SAVED HIS ASS. AN HOUR AND SEVENTEEN MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE WE BRING THE CHECKHOV'S RECORD BACK. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

And Weird Al kills Pablo Escobar by throwing a record into his head. And Madonna, being the #girlboss that she is, decides she wants to becoming the head of an international drug cartel, and wants Weird Al to help her. But he decides to go against her. Her BAD INFLUENCE no longer has a hold on his life. AND THE VOICE OVER RETURNS. Cause now "the hero has to return home before his big comeback after the Fall from Grace" needs to happen, because of course that's what you do in a music biopic. So he returns home and starts working at the factory pushing levers and buttons that we, the audience and he, Weird Al, doesn't have a clue what they do (other than maim fellow factory workers, BUT WHATEVER). The "You Don't Understand Me" Dad finds him in the Depths Of Despair. And our hero has his emotional outburst. But our Dad has turned a new leaf. In fact, he like parody songs! He even sings the oldest one we know ("Jingle Bells, Batman Smells"). Also the mom is wearing the EAT IT fat suit.

(Sidebar: I feel mixed on this fat suit, but I won't get into it right now.)

And with this shared parody ancestry, the Dad thinks it's finally time to tell Weird Al why he was against him playing the accordion in the first place.

Amish Paradise—Dad's Tragic Backstory/Footloose Reason Why Society Doesn't Allow Their Kids to Do INSERT BLANK ACTIVITY HERE. Everything that you have read up until this point, an HOUR AND TWENTY FIVE MINUTES OF THE MOVIE, has been leading to this backstory for this song's inclusion in the movie. You're welcome. This Tragic Backstory is also animated, so thanks! Also because this is a rap/motivationally sounding song (I guess???), we see that our hero has Returned to Fight Another Day! This time with a new sound!

(Sidebar: does anyone else wonder if Coolio knew about this cameo before he died? Just asking cause Madonna apparently wasn't consulted about the role Evan Rachel Wood plays in this film according to interviews I watched after the fact).

This song is at the Not Grammy Grammys (he gets the "Perhaps Not Technically the Best at But Arguably the Most Famous Accordion Player" award over Prince. We'll need to move on from there). After being present the award by Diana Ross and Hulk Hogan, our guy wins and goes onstage to accept. Meanwhile, an assassin is seating in the front row. But wait, I thought Pablo Escobar is dead? Who is in charge of this assassin? Why, it's our girl Madonna. BUT I'M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF.

The acceptance speech become a "Suck It Losers!" kinda speech. And here is where the A Star is Born reference with Weird Al pissing himself onstage happens. And Weird Al is assassinated. By a Madonna who is no longer in the audience, dressed in what I think is her American Life outfit.

(Sidebar: IS CYNDI LAUPUR NEXT TO DR DEMENTO IN THE AUDIENCE? CAUSE THAT'S NOT EVAN RACHEL WOOD AND WE NEEDED A FAKEOUT OF MADONNA SUPPOSEDLY SITTING IN THE AUDIENCE IN ORDER FOR HER DO THE ASSASSINATION. ANYWAY!)

And we get "What happened after the artist died/peaked" before credits rolls. Then credits with fake photos are mixed with real photos from childhood (I think those are real. If not, great touch). AND WE GET A MID CREDITS SCENE. Madonna brings flowers to Weird Al's grave (that says ATE IT 1985), but as she's leaving a zombie hand of Weird Al grabs her to drag her to hell like the end of Carrie/other horror movies. So Weird Al has been dead this entire time, and we have only been listening to a Zombie Weird Al since 1985!

Now You Know—the "Yep, this 100% happened guys. Totally!" song. Also has some great mentions about how long/repetitive the song is, who worked on the film, explicitly showing the parody songs instead of the originals used in the end credits, mentioning the "studio musician backing vocals" (who sound amazing by the way), and how the song can technically be nominated for an Oscar.

And this is why this movie is the great parody of all time.

[uppastthejelliclemoon]

tuggoffelees family moodboard + playlist

because i'm pretty sure it's about time i make a playlist for my favorite family 😌

👑 "the greatest show": hugh jackman 👑 "still holding my hand": cast of netflix's matilda 👑 "bless the broken road": rascal flatts 👑 "feel the light": jennifer lopez 👑 "beautiful ghosts (victoria's song)": francesca hayward 👑 "say you won't let go": james arthur 👑 "ready, set, don't go": billy ray cyrus, miley cyrus 👑 "dear theodosia": leslie odom jr., lin manuel miranda 👑 "ev'rybody wants to be a cat": the aristocats 👑 "through heaven's eyes": brian stokes mitchell 👑 "you will be okay": caleb hyles 👑 "superheroes": the script 👑 "the house that built me": miranda lambert 👑 "from now on": cast of the greatest showman 👑 "a happy beginning": cast of once upon a time 👑 "father and son": yusuf/cat stevens 👑 "happily ever after": jordan fisher, angie k 👑 "footprints": molly kate kestner 👑 "all of you": cast of encanto 👑 "hall of fame": the script, will.i.am.

(Obligatory @queen-with-the-quill tag 😊)

[newcountryradio]

New Country 27e jaargang  #T1246 (S805) (C46) van 16 September 2024  (wk 38) uitzending op Smelne fm & Crossroads Country Radio

Album van de week: Miranda Lambert – Postcards From Texas            Classic album:  LeAnn- Rimes – Blue             1995

Hits of the Year : 2005

Maandfavoriet : Ella Langley & Riley Green – You Look Like You Love Me     

Maandartiest : Patty Loveless      

Patty Loveless –   Lonely Too Long       *maandartiest

Joe Diffie -  Third Rock From The Sun  t#1 30 jaar.

Terry Clark - Girls Lie Too

Luke Combs – Love You Anyway

Sunny Sweeny - Backhanded Compliment

Post Malone /Dwight Yoakam – I Don’t Know How To say Goodbye (bbbb)

Jenna Paulette - Chasin' Whiskey

Riley Green – Don’t Mind If I Do

Chris Young -. Young Love & Saturday Nights #1

Miranda Lambert  - Armadillo   Album vd week

Miranda Lambert – Looking Back On Luckenbach *Album vd week

Hank williams jr - Born To Boogie -Entertainer 1987

Brad Paisley – Mud On The Tyres  2005

Bellamy Brothers – Let Your Love Flow.

Merle Haggard –   You Take Me for Granted

Ella Langley & Riley Green – You Look Like You Love Me .  . favoriet 

Thomas Rhett – It Goes Like This   .  sofi

LeAnn Rimes – Blue    classic album 1996

Leann Rimes – One way Ticket (because I can )     classic album

J. P. Harris – Beautiful World  .

Joe Nichols – Brokenheartsville       (3 in 1) 

Joe Nichols - Tequilla Makes Her Clothes Fall  Off

Joe Nichols - Gimmie That Girl

Miranda Lambert  Santa Fe  Album vd week

George Strait – Honky Tonk Hall of Fame

Post Malone - Wrong Ones  ft Tim McGraw      #1 album.

James House – This Is Me Missing You  .

Tammy Neilson – Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain

Bryan Scar - Jackson.

Wynonna – I Saw the Light.

Old Dominion. Beer Can in a Truck Bed   Truck

Patty Loveless – You Don’t even Know Who I Am     maandartiest

James House - - The Ending      juweeltje

Colby Acuff – Hello Rain      vw

Miranda Lambert – Wranglers Album vd week

Luke Combs - Take Me Out to the Ballgame  49-20

Toby Keith - Who's Your Daddy 16- 11

Willie Nelson – Nothing I Can Do About It Now  #1 1989

Change Of Key – I Just Know       Dutch corner

Eric Devries -  Hit the Road Running

Craig Morgan – That’s What I Love Aboud Sunday        #5 2005

Keith Urban – Making Memories Of Us       #4

Rascal Flatts – Bless The Broken Road       #3

Keith Urban – Better Life   #2 2005

Toby Keith – As Good as I Once was        #1 2005

[multitudecontainer420]

jessie twiggy ruth etting glynis miyoshi nancy kwan marlene mae una joan b meiko sara montiel judy holliday natalie wood charmain carr lily ho dolly parton toyah nina h chita karina marianne?

donkey skin, bells are ringing, flower drum song, at long last love, pennies from heaven, earth girls, the wiz, mahogany, flashdance, sparkle, were not dressing, madam satan, blondie of the follies, lili, stormy weather, love me or leave me, thoroughly modern millie, esther w, sirk, ophuls, renoir, moulin rouge 1934, moulin rouge 1952, chicago, midsummer nights dream 1935, circus 1938 russian, gigi, the great ziegfeld, hot summer, hellzapoppin, ziegfeld girl, roxie hart, akerman, not on the lips, les idoles, william klein, lisztomania, mahler, the blue bird, hard days night, shaw bros musicals, stardust brothers, new york new york, the muppet movie, the apple, can't stop the music, xanadu, popeye, sextette, just a gigolo, tales of hoffmann, cinderella 1947 russian, alice au pays, dreamchild, ojōsan shachō, torch song, ice follies, mame, bollywood, red garters, the court jester, the girl can't help it, pal joey, purple rain, 1234 escondite ingles, black lizard, black tights, khovanshchina, head, heironymus merkin, toomorrow, hugo the hippo, dick tracy, bugsy malone, anything goes, hoshi no orpheus, times square, blood wedding, annie, 9 to 5, tender hooks, victor victoria, sogno di una notte d'estate, yentl, streets of fire, rock aliens, get crazy, rockula, fangs, a chorus line, absolute beginners, crossroads, spice world, population 1, true stories, aria, it couldn't happen here, hairspray, cry baby, little nemo, uhf, valley girl, into the woods, sweeney todd, newsies, cannibal the musical, zero patience, the ink thief, the fantasticks, everyone says i love you, joes apartment, cats, the hole, the wayward cloud, citizen dog, jackie's back, loves labours lost, glitter, 8 women, chicago, interstella 5555, the saddest music, de lovely, perhaps love, corpse bride, tanuki hime, reefer madness, romance & cigarettes, dasepo naughty girls, dreamgirls, idlewild, enchanted, les chansons d'amour, mamma mia, repo, fame 2009, burlesque, the sapphires, god help the girl, london road, the lure, sing street, 52hz i love you, stuck, hello again, guava island, annette, ma raineys, 13 the musical, please baby please, pinocchio, weird the al, dicks the musical, joker fólie a deux, carmen miranda, hallelujah, cover girl, funny face, marilyn monroe, the blue bird, minnelli, baps, dirty gertie, mean girls

[the-matrix-network-news]

The Top 10 Best Country Artists You Need to Listen to

Introduction

Country music has a timeless appeal, with its heartfelt lyrics and soulful melodies. Whether you're a long-time fan or a newcomer to the genre, there's always a country artist whose music can resonate with your soul. In this article, we'll explore the top 10 best country artists that you should definitely add to your playlist. From legends who've shaped the genre to emerging stars making waves, there's something here for every country music lover. - Johnny Cash Known as "The Man in Black," Johnny Cash's deep, resonant voice and compelling storytelling made him a country legend. His iconic songs like "Ring of Fire" and "I Walk the Line" continue to captivate audiences worldwide. With a career spanning decades, Cash's music is a must-listen for anyone who appreciates the essence of country. - Dolly Parton Dolly Parton is a true country music icon, known for her incredible vocals and an extensive catalog of hits. Songs like "Jolene" and "9 to 5" have become anthems that transcend generations. Her warm personality and heartfelt songwriting have earned her a special place in the hearts of country fans. - George Strait George Strait is often referred to as the "King of Country," and for good reason. With a record-breaking 60 number-one hits, his career has been marked by classics like "Amarillo by Morning" and "All My Ex's Live in Texas." Strait's smooth voice and traditional country sound have earned him a devoted fan base. - Shania Twain Shania Twain is a force to be reckoned with in the country music world. Her album "Come On Over" is one of the best-selling country albums of all time, featuring hits like "Man! I Feel Like a Woman" and "You're Still the One." Twain's crossover appeal and catchy melodies make her a standout artist. - Willie Nelson Willie Nelson's distinct voice and outlaw image have made him a country legend. His timeless classics include "On the Road Again" and "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain." Nelson's music encapsulates the free spirit of country, making him a cherished figure in the genre. - Carrie Underwood Carrie Underwood rose to fame as the winner of American Idol and has since become a country superstar. Her powerful vocals and relatable lyrics shine in songs like "Before He Cheats" and "Jesus, Take the Wheel." Underwood's dynamic performances continue to enchant fans. - Kenny Chesney Known for his beachy, feel-good country music, Kenny Chesney's hits like "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems" and "American Kids" transport listeners to a carefree paradise. Chesney's songs are perfect for a summer road trip or a relaxing day at the beach. - Miranda Lambert Miranda Lambert's fiery spirit and honest songwriting have made her one of country music's leading ladies. With hits like "The House That Built Me" and "Kerosene," she has touched the hearts of many. Lambert's music is a testament to the power of vulnerability in songwriting. - Luke Combs Luke Combs is a rising star in the country music scene, and his authentic approach to songwriting and his distinctive voice have won over fans worldwide. Hits like "Beautiful Crazy" and "Hurricane" showcase his ability to connect with listeners on a personal level. - Kacey Musgraves Kacey Musgraves has brought a fresh perspective to country music with her unique blend of traditional country and pop influences. Songs like "Follow Your Arrow" and "Merry Go 'Round" challenge conventions while celebrating individuality. Her clever songwriting and soothing vocals make her a standout artist.

Conclusion

Country music offers a rich tapestry of emotions and storytelling that continues to captivate audiences. These ten artists represent a diverse range of styles and themes within the country genre, providing something for everyone. Whether you're a fan of classics like Johnny Cash or newer talents like Kacey Musgraves, these artists are essential to any country music playlist. So, get ready to immerse yourself in the world of country music and let these artists serenade your soul. For more articles on music, entertainment, and culture, visit The Matrix Network News and follow us on Instagram at The Matrix Network News. Read the full article

[yessadirichards]

Willie Nelson's 90th birthday concerts getting a theatrical release

NASHVILLE, Tennessee

If you missed out on Willie Nelson's 90th birthday concerts last month in Los Angeles, you can see all the special performances honoring the 12-time Grammy winner in a limited theatrical run.

“Long Story Short: Willie Nelson 90” will be shown in theaters on June 11, with an encore presentation on June 13 and 14. Recorded at the Hollywood Bowl over two nights in April, the concert film will include performances by Nelson, Keith Richards, Neil Young, George Strait

, Miranda Lambert, Snoop Dogg and many more.

Nelson, who was also inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame this year, is having a banner year as a nonagenarian. He was honored with an educational endowment at the University of Texas’ LBJ School of Public Affairs and will have a new book about his songwriting called “Energy Follows Thought: The Stories Behind My Songs,” coming out on Oct. 31 through William Morrow.

The Texas actor, activist and songwriter penned hits like “Crazy,” “Funny How Times Slips Away” and “On the Road Again" over his seven-decade career, as well as co-founded Farm Aid.

[celtfather]

We All Need More Kindness

We could all use a little more kindness. Share the love with the Irish & Celtic Music Podcasts #593. Then learn 4 things you can do in County Mayo to learn more about Grace O’Malley, the famed Pirate Queen.

ChildsPlay, W Ed Harris, Jodee James, Eilis Crean, Achill Crossing, Melanie Gruben, TEYR, Wolf & Clover, Lissa Schneckenburger, Poitín, The Irish Rovers, Dark Isle Bagpiper, Wild Colonial Bhoys, Tuatha de Danann, We Banjo 3

VOTE IN THE CELTIC TOP 20 FOR 2023 

This is our way of finding the best songs and artists each year. You can vote for as many songs and tunes that inspire you in each episode. Your vote helps me create next year's Best Celtic music of 2023 episode.  Vote Now!

Two weeks after the episode is launched, I compile your votes to update a playlist on Spotify and YouTube. These are the results of your voting. You can help these artists out by following the playlists and adding tracks you love to your playlists. Follow us on Facebook to find out who is added each week.

Listen on Spotify and YouTube.

GET CELTIC MUSIC NEWS IN YOUR INBOX

The Celtic Music Magazine is a quick and easy way to plug yourself into more great Celtic culture. Subscribe and get 34 Celtic MP3s for Free.

  THIS WEEK IN CELTIC MUSIC

0:02 - Intro: Blibbering Humdingers

0:11 - ChildsPlay "Buddy's Strathspey / The Wooden Whale / The Farmer's Daughter" from The Bloom Of Youth

4:51 - WELCOME

6:45 - W Ed Harris "Glory Reel/The Heathery Cruach" from Turas Ceilteach

9:41 - Jodee James "All the Way to Avalon" from Lady of the Fountain

14:23 - Eilis Crean "The Old Pipe on the Hob  -  The Sally Popular" from Searbh Siucra

17:37 - Achill Crossing "I'm a Man You Don't Meet Everyday" from The Rising of the Moon

20:20 - FEEDBACK

23:50 - Melanie Gruben "'Til Ireland is Free" from Like a Tide Upon the Land

27:00 - TEYR "The Drummer" from Estren

32:16 - Wolf & Clover "An Eriskay Love Lilt" from Twelvemonth and a Day

34:29 - Lissa Schneckenburger "Sorry For The Divots" from Falling Forward

38:16 - Poitín "The Maid Of Amsterdam" from One For The Road

41:11 - THANKS

44:49 - The Irish Rovers "Diabolical Things" from No End in Sight

49:22 - Dark Isle Piper "Laird of Lagavulin" from Siubhail

52:08 - Wild Colonial Bhoys "Banna Strand" from Century

57:21 - Tuatha de Danann "Molly Maguires" from In Nomine Éireann

1:01:08 - CLOSING

1:01:54 - We Banjo 3 "We All Need More Kindness in This World" from Roots of the Banjo Tree

The Irish & Celtic Music Podcast was produced by Marc Gunn, The Celtfather and our Patrons on Patreon. The show was edited by Mitchell Petersen with Graphics by Miranda Nelson Designs.

Visit our website to subscribe to the show. You’ll find links to all of the artists played in this episode. You’ll get access to our Best of this Year Playlist. You can subscribe to our Celtic Music Magazine and get 34 Celtic MP3s for Free. Plus, you’ll get 7 weekly news items about what’s happening with Celtic music and culture online. Best of all, you will connect with your Celtic heritage.

Finally, please tell one friend about this podcast. Word of mouth is the absolute best way to support any creative endeavor.

Promote Celtic culture through music at http://celticmusicpodcast.com/.

WELCOME CELTOPHILE TO CELTIC MUSIC

* Helping you celebrate Celtic culture through music. I am Marc Gunn. I’m a musician and podcaster out of Atlanta, Georgia. This Podcast is here to build our diverse Celtic community and help the incredible artists who so generously share their music with you. If you hear music you love, please email artists to let them know you heard them on the Irish and Celtic Music Podcast.

You can find a link to all of the artists in the shownotes, along with show times, when you visit our website at celticmusicpodcast.com.

The Irish & Celtic Music Podcast is supported by people just like you on Patreon. You love Celtic music and you want to show your support. I have a HUGE list of Celtic musicians on Patreon on my blog. Kinnfolk is the latest Celtic group to join the platform. Follow the link. See who’s on there. Support one of these artists as another way to celebrate Celtic culture through music.

Hey Celtic Bands, I’m looking for new music and stories in 2023. To submit your band, just complete the permission form at 4celts.com. You’ll also find information on how to submit a story behind one of your songs or tunes.

THANK YOU PATRONS OF THE PODCAST!

Because of Your kind and generous support, this show comes out at least four times a month. Your generosity funds the creation, promotion and production of the show. It allows us to attract new listeners and to help our community grow.

As a patron, you get music - only episodes before regular listeners, vote in the Celtic Top 20, and you get a private feed to listen to the show.  All that for as little as $1 per episode.

A special thanks to our newest Patrons of the Podcast: GG, John B, Floyd

HERE IS YOUR THREE STEP PLAN TO SUPPORT THE PODCAST

Go to our Patreon page.

Decide how much you want to pledge every week, $1, $5, $10. Make sure to cap how much you want to spend per month.

Keep listening to the Irish & Celtic Music Podcast to celebrate Celtic culture through music.

You can become a generous Patron of the Podcast on Patreon at SongHenge.com.

TRAVEL WITH CELTIC INVASION VACATIONS

Every year, I take a small group of Celtic music fans on the relaxing adventure of a lifetime. We don't see everything. Instead, we stay in one area. We get to know the region through its culture, history, and legends. You can join us with an auditory and visual adventure through podcasts and videos.

In 2023, we’re going on a Celtic Invasion of County Mayo in Ireland. Here are four things you can do to learn more about Grace O’Malley, the famous Pirate Queen:

Grace O'Malley's Castle in Rockfleet: This 15th - century castle was once the stronghold of Grace O'Malley, also known as Gráinne Mhaol. Visitors can explore the ruins and imagine what life was like for the legendary pirate queen.

Clare Island: This island off the coast of County Mayo was the base of operations for Grace O'Malley and her followers. Visitors can tour the island, visit the remains of O'Malley's castle, and learn about her life and legacy.

The Westport House and Gardens: This historic house and estate was once the home of the Browne family, who were involved in the capture and imprisonment of Grace O'Malley. Today, visitors can tour the house, explore the grounds and gardens, and learn about its history and connections to O'Malley.

The Museum of Country Life in Castlebar: This museum is dedicated to showcasing the history and culture of rural Ireland. It includes exhibits on the lives of the people of County Mayo, including Grace O'Malley and her connection to the area. Visitors can learn about the history and culture of the region, and the important role that Grace O'Malley played in it.

Learn more about the invasion at http://celticinvasion.com/

#celticmusic #irishmusic #celticmusicpodcast

I WANT YOUR FEEDBACK

What are you doing today while listening to the podcast? You can take a screenshot of the podcast on your phone. You can send a written comment along with a picture of what you're doing while listening. Or how about a picture you took of a band that you saw.

How would you like to introduce an episode of the podcast? It’s super easy. Contact me for details.

Email me at celticpodcast@gmail, message me on Facebook, or contact me through Mastodon @celtfather@c.im.

Mari Voipio commented on Facebook: "Let’s just say that my utility/laundry room isn’t ready for its closeup… But Celtic music makes all the sorting and folding and putting away a bit less boring."

John Sharkey White, II sent a message on Patreon: "The danger of using the WayBack Machine and listening to older podcasts, is that I'm discovering bands that for whatever reason didn't stand out the first time, but now I'm loving! Is Bad Haggis together anymore? Can't find much on the inter webs. Keep up the excellent work!"

Mara Williams emailed a computer picture: "Hello Mark et al, really enjoying the Irish & Celtic Music podcast – thank you!

The website mentioned an interest in Sci Fi & that you sometimes write music for sci fi themes, so I am curious  -  have you ever written music relating to the TV Sci - Fi series Firefly (2002/2003)?

Your podcast asked for a picture of what we are working on while listening – well, here it is – the ever - exciting operations guide for our microwave reactor (non - nuclear). It’s a gallop of a read! My company uses these reactors to manufacture materials that will hopefully reduce the environmental footprint of batteries and other items.

I would love sometime to join you all on the Celtic Invasion tour!  It comes down to the usual – time and money. 😊

Best regards,"

Check out the In the Verse, Pop Culture Songwriting podcast.

Check out this episode!

[ironicscavenger]

𝒶 𝒸𝒽𝓇𝒾𝓈𝓉𝓂𝒶𝓈 𝓈𝓊𝓇𝓅𝓇𝒾𝓈𝑒 / 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓉 𝓉𝓌𝑜🎄💝  

The holidays are a great moment to get engaged. If you don’t believe me, ask these two lovebirds.

✮✮ holiday special 8/9

Miranda’s road to fame: Beginning Holiday Special: Start Here | Previous |  Next Last years’ Holiday Special

[joannaliceevans-fanficblog]

Masterlist of Mini Drabbles and Series: Updated: November 10, 2023:

New Fic: Belong With Me

this mood board is made by my beautiful anak @star-spangled-beard-burn​ ! Salamat!

(This is an open request. If you have one, please send me a DM. )

Also, the banners and everything else is made by the beautiful @finleyjayne​

Thank you!

(**= Smut. 18+ only)

Rain and Thunder

A Night Out (Dark Andy)

You Are Not Breaking Up With Me (Dark Andy)

I’m Sorry

**A Grave Mistake (Dark Andy Barber)

Rumors the Series Masterlist (COMPLETED)

Andy and Reader have a wonderful marriage. Met, when she was first year at Boston College and Andy was a first year at Law School. Until, he decided to cheat on her. Finding out, through rumors around the school that she works at, she leaves and meets Chris. 

No Time Wasted Masterlist (COMPLETED)

Continuation of Rumors. Andy and Y/N lives are turned upside down, as Andy’s mistress comes back into the picture and his determined to ruin their lives. 

Better With You Masterlist (Completed)

Reader is engaged to Chris Evans and both have a long history together. A lot of ups and downs. But Chris pushes her away, until you had enough. Pregnant, she runs to her hometown in Newton, where she meets hot shot Andy Barber.

Better With You: What If: Masterlist: (Completed)

Reader and Andy are trying to live their lives, with two year old Hazel. But when Chris arrives unexpectedly at her birthday, and Chris is starting to question.

Drunk Mini Series (Completed)

Andy Barber x Reader

Andy had a rough night and decided to drink away instead of coming home to his wife and daughter. 

**Contains domestic violence. Please do not read, if this bothers you.**

Always You Masterlist (On Going)

Au Celeb! Frank Adler x Reader

Frank is a actor and is secretly engaged to Y/N. But when news broke out about a “new relationship” broke out? Your world came crumbling down.

Two Years, Too Late (On Going)

Steve left you, with no explanation. You were left into a deep depression, with nothting to live for. Until your best friend Ransom came to your rescue. 

Steve Rogers x Reader, Soft! Ransom Drysdale x Reader

The One (Indefinitely On Hiatus)

Simu Liu had everything especially the girl that captured his heart from college.It wasn’t until his fame got to him, and drove her away.

You had the perfect life, your dream job of becoming a nurse and your college sweetheart, Simu. But it all came down, when his fame got to him and pushed you away. Many broken promises, fights and other things.

Chris Evans, americas golden boy and not to mention hot. One drunking night, ended up in the hospital with  broken ankle and a beautiful nurse.

Simu Liu x Reader, Chris Evans x Reader

You Will Find Me: 2.0

This is a redue of one of my older fics. I changed the characters and added some scenes that I didn’t include in my old one. 

Characters: Andy Barber x Sarah Park. (OC) (Past)

Andy Barber x Jessie (OC), Sarah Park x Frank Adler

Summary: Three years ago, an accident happend as Neal (Andy’s assistant) went to pick her up at the airport. (Andy was stuck  in a case) and Sarah went missing. 

Andy spent years, looking for his beloved. But it was no use.

Sarah was found on the side of the road, with no memory of what happened. All she could remember was her name.

Hello Sun Shine

Summary: One day, at home you get a call from a woman that you hate. Suzanne Brewer. The moment you got the call that your husband was found dead, you immediately knew that she was bluffing.

You called up your friend Dani Miranda, and you knew why she told you. You have something, that she wants.

Secrets and your job as a former agent/assassin comes to life.

Lloyd Hansen x Y/N Hansen

With appearances by: Dani Miranda, Suzanne Brewer and brief mentions of Denny Carmichael.

Warnings: smut, (reader and Lloyd are horn balls) torture, guns, violence, and blood.

If any of these disturb you or make you uncomfortable then please walk away.

The One That Got Away

Mob Lloyd Hansen x Maria Cantoni (OC)

Mob Ari Levinson x Reader

Summary: You and Lloyd Hansen have a history together. Both come from a Mob Crime Family. You and Lloyd were set to become engaged, but one faithful day, he broke up with you and married another. You held a secret, that you didn’t get to tell Lloyd.

Belong with You

Separated from the one he loves, Chris is determined to make things right for his family, and his daughter.

**Stress Relief

**Late To Class

With You

Lucky

Ice**

Divorce

Divorce 2

Night Sex with Andy Barber

Fighting With Andy Barber

Make Up Sex with Andy Barber**

A Cozy Evening with Andy Barber

Yours

Special Moments

Mommy is Hurt

I Love You

No, Daddy

Please, For Me

**

You Came Back

**

Forbidden Love

Not In Love With you

Meant To Be

Evermore

**

**Becoming Mrs. Barber

**Insight

Home with Andy Barber

**Sweet Prize: Prologue

**Sweet Prize: Part. 1 (Coming Soon)

Requests:

**The Closet Series: (18+ Smut)

The Closet**

The Closet: (Request by Annon)

**The Office (Requested by Annon)

Choke**

Can I Keep You? 

All That I’m Asking For

Chris Evans: (**18+ Smut)

Midnight Snack

Fights

The Truth

Gone

Not Your Ordinary Day

Without You

How Rude!**

You Had Me At Hello

Rainy Mornings with Chris Evans

Mrs. Evans

Love You Like Me

You Had Me at Hello

**Babies

Love of My Life

**The Car

Good Morning Showers**

**My Wife

**Home Coming

My Wife

Untitled

The Massage **

*******

**Run Away

**Run Away Pt. 2

**Run Away 3

Run Away: 4

**

Home

Nightmares

My Wife

Swell

Punished

My Darling

**

**My Omega

**My Omega: Beautiful

Steve Rogers Request:

A Date: (Request by @southerngracela​)

**

Into The Forest (Dark Steve Rogers Alpha x Omega)

A Night to Remember

Enemies to Lovers: Writing Challenge

Fucking Ransom: Get Your Own Blanket

**My Sweet Angel (Dark Ransom)

*******

Frank Adler

Always You Masterlist

[castrateurfate]

Alright, guys.

Here's a list of the DVDs in my room.

Rate My Taste

Here:

13 Assassins

2001: A Space Odyssey

300

47 Ronin

8 Mile

A Fistful of Dollars

AVP2: Requiem

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

Account Rendered

Adaptation

Afro Samurai: The Complete Murder Sessions

Airplane!

Akira

Alien vs. Predator

Alley Cats

Amadeus

Amelie

Anastasia

Arachnophobia

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

Back To The Future

Barry Lyndon

Batman

Batman Ninja

Batman TAS: Secrets of The Caped Crusaders

Batman TAS: Tales Of The Dark Knight

Batman: Gotham by Gaslight

Batman: Mask of The Phantasm

Battle Royale

Beetlejuice

Being John Malkovich

Ben-Hur

Big Eyes

Big Fish

Big Time Rush: Halfway There

Bill

Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Birdman: (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)

Black Dynamite

Black Mama White Mama

Black Swan

Blackkklansman

Blade Runner: The Director's Cut

Blazing Saddles

Bonnie and Clyde

Boogeyman

Bowling For Columbine

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Breaking Bad

Breaking Glass

Brexit: The Uncivil War

Brokeback Mountain

Bubba Ho-Tep

Bugsy Malone

Bula Quo

Capitalism: A Love Story

Capote

Casablanca

Chicago

Children of Men

Churchill: The Hollywood Years

Citizen Kane

Clash Of The Titans

Clash of The Titans

Cleopatra Jones

Cloud Atlas

Clueless

Coffy

Commando

Conan The Barbarian

Control

Coraline

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon

Curse of The Golden Flower

David Brent: Life On The Road

Dazed And Confused

Deadpool

Deadpool 2

Death Note

Death Proof

Demolition Man

Descendants

Dirty Harry

Django Unchained

Doctor Zhivago

Dodgeball

Dog Soldiers

Double Indemnity

Dowton Abbey: Series One

Dr Strangelove Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb

Dr Suess' How The Grinch Stole Christmas

Dr. No

Drunken Angel

Drunken Master

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial

Ed Wood

Edward Scissorhands

Elfie Hopkins

Escape Plan

Evil Dead

Evolution

Extras: The Complete First Series

Fahrenheit 9/11

Falling Down

Fame

Family Guy Presents: Blue Harvest

Family Guy: Season Nine

Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Finding Netherland

Flashdance

Footloose

Forrest Gump

Forrest Warriors

Foxy Brown

From Dusk Till Dawn

From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money

From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman's Daughter

From Here to Eternity

Frost/Nixon

Frozen

Funny Face

Gatsby

Ghost Dog: The Way if The Samurai

Ghost In The Shell

Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex Vol. 1

Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex Vol. 2

Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex Vol. 5

Ghostwatch

Gnomeo & Juliet

Godzilla

Gone With The Wind

Grave of The Fireflies

Gremlins

Groundhog Day

Hail, Caesar

Happy Gilmore

Harry Hill's TV Burp Gold

Harry Hill's TV Burp Gold 2

Harry Potter And The Order of The Phoenix

Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone

Hero

Hideo Nakata's Dark Water

High and Low

Highlander

History: Poltergeists

History: Spontaneous Human Combustion

History: Vampires

Hobo With a Shotgun

Horrible Histories: Series One

Hot Fuzz

Hot Rod

House of Flying Daggers

I Know What You Did Last Summer

I, Tonya

Ice Age 2: The Meltdown

In Bruges

Inglorious Basterds

Insomnia

Iron Man

Isle of Dogs

JFK

Jackie Brown

Jaws

Johnny English

Joker

Julie & Julia

Jumanji

Jurassic Park

Kick-Ass

Kick-Ass 2

Kill Bill Volume 1

Kill Bill Volume 2

King Kong vs. Godzilla

Kingsman: The Secret Service

LEGO Batman: The Movie (DC Super Heroes Unite)

LEGO Star Wars: The Yoda Chronicles

Labyrinth

Lady Vengeance

Last Action Hero

Lawrence of Arabia

Legends of The Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole

Leon: The Professional

Les Miserables: In Concert (The 25th Anniversary)

Let The Right One In

Life of Pi

Limitless

Lost In Translation

Loving Vincent

Macbeth

Mad Max

Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted

Marvel's Original Spiderman: Season 3 Vol. 1

Mean Girls

Megamind

Memoirs of a Geisha

Metropolis

Michael Jackson: Moon Walker

Miller's Crossing

Miranda Hart: My, What I Call, Live Show

Monster House

Monster in Paris

Monty Python and The Holy Grail

Monty Python's Life of Brian

Moulin Rouge

Mrs. Brown's Boys: Season One

Mulan

Mulan 2

My Week With Marilyn

Mythbusters: Season 1

Napoleon Dynamite

Naruto Shippuden: Box Set 1

Naruto Shippuden: Box Set 2

Nausicaä of The Valley of The Wind

Night of The Living Dead

Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation Vol. 1

Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation Vol. 3

No Country for Old Men

North by Northwest

O Brother Where Art Thou?

Oldboy

Once Upon a Time... In Hollywood

One Hour Photo

Open Season 2

Osama

Pan's Labyrinth

Paper Towns

Parasite

Paris When It Sizzles

Patton

Persepolis

Pleasantvile

Pokémon The Movie: Hoopa And The Clash of Ages

Pokémon: 4 Ever

Precious

Predator

Psycho

Pulp Fiction

Pumpkin Scissors

Rain Man

Rare Exports

Red Riding Hood

Reefer Madness

Requiem For A Dream

Reservoir Dogs

[demondark81]

All, bitch

1: A song you like with a color in the title

Dustin Lynch- Seein' Red

Taylor Swift- Red

Miranda Lambert- White Liar

The Rigs- White Flag

2: A song you like with a number in the title

Lukas Graham- 7 years

Rob Zombie- House of 1,000 Corpses

3: A song that reminds you of summertime

Ben Platt- For Forever I love Dear Evan Hansen shut up

Luke Bryan- Rain is a Good Thing

4: A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

If I have any of these I can't think of it

5: A song that needs to be played LOUD

Imagine Dragons- Natural

Billie Eilish- Bad Guy I had to link the actual music video for this one because it's glorious

Panic! at the Disco- Let's Kill Tonight

Hollywood Undead- Riot

SO many more, but I gotta cut myself off

6: A song that makes you want to dance

.... Lee Brice- I Don't Dance

Sub Urban- Freak

Sub Urban- Cradles

7: A song to drive to

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLKiuvuUaD_Xma_qHN_zkW10dzwTQrQ1-N

8: A song about drugs or alcohol

Midland- Drinkin' Problem

9: A song that makes you happy

Luke Combs- Beautiful Crazy

Brett Eldridge- Somethin' I'm Good At

10: A song that makes you sad

Linkin Park- Heavy

Brad Paisley- Whiskey Lullaby

11: A song that you never get tired of

Ed Sheeran- Perfect

Toby Keith- How Do You Like Me Now

12: A song from your preteen years

I was obsessed with Taylor Swift

13: One of your favorite 80’s songs

Irene Cara- Fame

14: A song that you would love played at your wedding

Ed Sheeran- Thinking Out Loud

15: A song that is a cover by another artist

Nickelback- Devil Went Down To Georgia (I just discovered it and it is a bop)

Jensen Ackles- Simple Man (You saw this one coming)

Nathan Sharp- Heathens

Jonathan Young/Violet Orlandi- Square Hammer (man)

16: One of your favorite classical songs

I can't think of any...? I don't listen to classical music

17: A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke

Set it Off- Partners in Crime

Silva Hound- Addict

18: A song from the year that you were born

Evanescence- Hello

19: A song that makes you think about life

Kenny Chesney- Noise

Faith Marie- Toxic Thoughts

Pet Shop Boys- Integral

20: A song that has many meanings to you

Rodney Atkins- If You're Going Through Hell

Fall Out Boy- The Phoenix

21: A favorite song with a person’s name in the title

You know I gotta-

SKYND- Tyler Hadley

Anna Murphey- Harley Quinn

22: A song that moves you forward

Shinedown- Second Chance

23: A song that you think everybody should listen to

Au/Ra- Dance in the Dark

STARSET- Infected

24: A song by a band you wish were still together

Rascal Flatts- God Bless the Broken Road

25: A song by an artist no longer living

Johnny Cash- Folsom Prison Blues

26: A song that makes you want to fall in love

Brett Young- In Case You Didn't Know

He is We- All About Us

27: A song that breaks your heart

Hinder- Lips of An Angel

Daughtry- It's Not Over

28: A song by an artist with a voice that you love

Jonathan Young/Jared Dines- Take Me To Church (Cover) ,,mm

Chris Stapleton- Broken Halos

29: A song that you remember from your childhood

Owl City- Fireflies

Toby Keith- Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue

P!nk- Funhouse

P!nk- Please Don't Leave Me

30: A song that reminds you of yourself

Stephanie Rice- Pages

[multitudecontainer420]

eleanor joan b ethel m jeanette josephine lena ethel w nina mae dorothy claire luce alice helen kane jessie marlene bebe jessica harper starstruck irene mae una leslie c lucille carmen miranda betty hutton doris esther moira kathryn grayson meiko shirley m rita dolores gray ann margret sara montiel pearl judy holliday miyoshi nancy kwan natalie wood bette m charmain carr lily ho twiggy irene cara diana ross patricia quinn little nell dolly parton toyah nina h madeline k ellen greene rosemary jane r

donkey skin, at long last love, pennies from heaven, bells are ringing, were not dressing, madam satan, earth girls, blondie of the follies, moulin rouge 1934, chicago, midsummer nights dream 1935, circus 1938 russian, the great ziegfeld, hellzapoppin, ziegfeld girl, roxie hart, shaw bros musicals, tales of hoffmann, cinderella 1947 russian, alice au pays, dreamchild, ojōsan shachō, torch song, ice follies, bollywood, red garters, artists & models, the court jester, the girl can't help it, pal joey, 1234 escondite ingles, black lizard, black tights, khovanshchina, flower drum song, hard days night, thoroughly modern millie, head, hot summer, heironymus merkin, toomorrow, mame, akerman, not on the lips, les idoles, william klein, hugo the hippo, lisztomania, mahler, the blue bird, dick tracy, bugsy malone, stardust brothers, sparkle, the wiz, flashdance, new york new york, sextette, just a gigolo, mahogany, hoshi no orpheus, the muppet movie, the apple, can't stop the music, xanadu, popeye, times square, blood wedding, annie, 9 to 5, tender hooks, victor victoria, sogno di una notte d'estate, yentl, purple rain, streets of fire, rock aliens, get crazy, rockula, fangs, a chorus line, absolute beginners, crossroads, spice world, population 1, true stories, aria, it couldn't happen here, hairspray, cry baby, little nemo, uhf, valley girl, into the woods, sweeney todd, newsies, cannibal the musical, zero patience, the ink thief, the fantasticks, everyone says i love you, joes apartment, cats, the hole, the wayward cloud, citizen dog, jackie's back, loves labours lost, glitter, 8 women, chicago, interstella 5555, the saddest music, de lovely, perhaps love, corpse bride, tanuki hime, reefer madness, romance & cigarettes, dasepo naughty girls, dreamgirls, idlewild, enchanted, les chansons d'amour, mamma mia, repo, fame 2009, burlesque, the sapphires, god help the girl, london road, the lure, sing street, 52hz i love you, stuck, hello again, guava island, annette, ma raineys, 13 the musical, please baby please, pinocchio, weird the al, dicks the musical, joker fólie a deux, cover girl, funny face, marilyn monroe, baps, dirty gertie, mean girls

[annikasafternoonread]

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing (by Hank Green) -- Part 1

Hello friends! I’m so sorry it’s been a while -- life has just been weird lately, and I’ve been super tired, and the time never felt right, and I had so much to say, and and and I don’t know. 

But I’m here now XD

I had interest expressed for both Wild Magic by Tamora Pierce and An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green, and I think Wild Magic might have technically won but I just wasn’t feeling it for some reason. Maybe I had too many animals in my house already (I was catsitting for my friend’s two cats, who didn’t much like our two cats or our dog) and it was too overwhelming. But in the interests of getting my ass in gear and getting back into the reading saddle, I’m going to go ahead with An Absolutely Remarkable Thing. I’ll probably put Wild Magic back in contention for our next vote, though! 

I’m going to split this intro into two posts (you can read the second post here), because a lot of what I want to talk about is just general celebrity culture and why I think Hank was perfect to write this book. It’s not specifically focused on AART itself, and while it’s relevant, it quickly swelled to be quite long and I didn’t want to scare folks off with the size of the intro post haha. This post will try to stay focused on the book and what I’m looking forward to. 

So. An Absolutely Remarble Thing. This book fascinated me. It hit so many of my favourite vibes, and did it so well. April May is funny and clever, but she’s also human and complicated and sometimes selfish or stupid. Miranda is so smart and pretty and I’m very gay for her. The puzzles are fun and creative and interesting and exciting. And then the themes are spot on -- celebrity, media, persona, humanity, morality... and then some aliens, robots, and bisexuals mixed in as a treat. 

First up: April May. She’s amazing. I already said that, but it’s true. I have rarely encountered a character like her, where I like her so much and yet -- I’m very aware that she’s not a very good person. Not in an antagonist way, she’s very much the protagonist, and I think she’s written to be liked. But she’s also written to be deeply, deeply flawed. And it’s interesting to hold space for both of those, and to be reminded that they can coexist.

This book also asks a lot of questions about what it means to be a person, what it means to be a good person. Those questions don’t have simple answers, and we’re all out here just doing our best. Most people think they’re good people. Including people who we think are bad people. Learning how to engage with those people (or when to avoid them) is something that we’re all trying to find our own ways of dealing with. It’s hard, and sometimes it’s hateful, but we keep trying. 

And honestly, I think this book is at its core incredibly optimistic about humanity. There are people who want to sow fear or division or hatred, who want to undermine others or just cash in for themselves, but in the background of all of it -- this story is a story of community. Of millions (or even billions) of people around the world, coming together to work for something more than themselves. And there’s no real reason to, no reward they know of -- they just want to. They want to be a part of something more. They want to find the answers, just for the sake of answers. For the sake of doing it. I don’t know if that quite fits the definition of altruism, but it’s close. And it’s pretty damn miraculous.

Straying away from the story itself, I think another more unique reason I enjoyed this book so much was because of the time in my life it arrived at. It came out in the fall of 2018, and I figured out for sure that I was panromantic (or at least, romantically interested in women, exact labels are squishy) in the spring of 2018. I was surprised how much that affected my experience of a lot of media, but it’s just so fun and freeing to point at a movie actor or a book character and say “god I’m gay.” Like, I’d absolutely done similar things in the past of saying “she’s so pretty” or “I love that character/actress,” but there’s something so simple and satisfying about “I’m gay” that encompasses a different vibe, and when I wasn’t second-guessing my sexuality or worrying that I was intruding on queer/sapphic culture -- movies and books and TV shows and life just got better. Which is a long-winded way of saying that I have a major crush on Miranda and can I please date her. 

Also I went on a spontaneous international road trip to Ohio with two of my best friends (one of whom I was secretly in love with and am now dating) for the book tour, so that’s also a nice memory I specifically have attached to this book. 

I think that’s most of the things I had to talk about with this book, so I’ll wrap things up here. If you’re interested in me chattering about celebrity and fame and internet culture and Hank Green and social media for another thousand words, head over here for part 2 of the intro post, and otherwise I’ll see you soon to start reading -- might not be tomorrow, as I have spelling bees and work, but hopefully Monday. Or maybe Tuesday. Soon, I swear. I hope. 

See you then :)

[toomanyf4ndoms7]

Twin syndrome

Summary: Miranda has been searching for her sister, Amanda for weeks. Every lead came up dead. But fate decided to give her a shot.

“Look, I’m telling you the truth. She went to compete in some car contest a few years back and never came home.”

“Listen, we’re looking through everything we can find, but we can’t find Amanda.”

“You obviously aren’t looking hard enough. I’ll try and give you the contest name when I can.”

“You’d better.”

The police on the end hung up, leaving Miranda to slam the phone back down in frustration.

“Fuckin’ dick.”

Alone with her thoughts once more, Miranda decided to try and de-stress by sitting on her couch and thinking about the past.

Miranda and her sister were twins, and from the moment they could walk, they were a handful. Just one of them would be enough, but two? Whole different story.

Their dad was a racing legend, but he did it for the sport not the fame. When he looked out the window and saw his beautiful wife and darling girls cheering him on, the smile was contagious. As kids, he often regaled them with his stories, starry eyed with wonder.

Perhaps it was the stories that drive them to be the top two female Indiana car racers in the world. Miranda took after her father, with the added satisfaction of victory. Amanda seemed to follow the same thing, before Miranda noticed her sister looking a bit down after a race.

When she asked what was wrong, Amanda was lying on the couch gesturing wildly out.

“Everything’s just so slow! Even the race car doesn’t mean much anymore. I don’t know what to do.”

Amanda was always a thrill seeker. High altitude roller coasters, fast cars, impulsive decisions that could have caused serious trouble back in high school, if there was a word to describe her daredevil would be at the top.

Amanda was down in this funk for a while, the racing only being able to give a minor buzz. Miranda was worried about her sister but didn’t know how to help her.

Suddenly, a few years back, Amanda got a new buzz.

She burst into the house that the two stayed in with their championship money, running over a thousand words.

“You’re not gonna believe this! You know how I’ve been real down lately? Some guy came up to me and offered my a spot on his contest. Prize is a free wish.”

Miranda was still trying to wrap her head around that last part before Amanda rushed over to her car.

“Wait, wait, wait! Slow down a little! What did you mean by a wish? What contest? You’re not making any sense.”

Amanda groaned as she slipped on her helmet.

“There’s no time! I’ll call you later!”

“Could you stop for a moment and-

Miranda was interrupted by the sound of Amanda’s car revving up and speeding down the road.

Miranda didn’t get a call. Not even a message.

Something must’ve happened.

Putting herself back in the present, Miranda have a long sigh of dissatisfaction.

“And now here I am. Chasing trails that all lead to dead ends and disappointment.”

Miranda stood up from the couch, about to get herself something to eat before her phone rang.

The phone says the caller was private and, against her better judgment, Miranda picked up.

“Hello?”

“Is this Miranda Watts?”

“Sure is. Who’s asking?”

A pause.

“My name is Calypso. Perhaps you’ve heard of me and my little contest, Twisted Metal.”

“I’m not interested in your games.”

A chuckle.

“Oh, but I think you are. You see, your sister competed in my contest. If you want to find the truth, you must enter. Remember the prize? One free wish, no matter the cost.”

Miranda was silent as the stranger continued speaking.

“If you win the contest, you can learn what happened to her. Interested now?”

Whatever sly remark died in Miranda’s throat became a question that she hoped didn’t betray her desperation too heavily.

“How... How would I join?”

“All in due time my dear. I suggest you get your vehicle ready and I’ll contact you when the contest begins.”

The stranger hung up, leaving Miranda to contemplate her next move.

“I have a bad feeling this’ll come back to bite me.”

“But,” she headed to her room and pulled out her racing gear.

“It’s the best lead I’ve got.”

A moment of contemplation.

“Fuck it.”

“Time to get back on the wheel.”

[tabloidtoc]

In Touch, August 24

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Pregnant Meghan Markle finally talks

Page 1: Contents 

Page 4: What’s going on with The Bachelorette 

Page 5: What should be a happy memory for Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively their wedding day now only brings shame because they were married on a plantation that once housed about 85 slaves, Candor of the Week -- Ellen Pompeo on why she’s stayed with Grey’s Anatomy for 15 years, Restriction of the Week -- Prince William on his staff controlling his Twitter account, Number of the Week -- 14 marriage proposals Martha Stewart got after posting a sultry pool selfie, Man Candy of the Week -- Jemel McWilliams

Page 6: Crib of the Week -- Calvin Harris has listed his bachelor pad in L.A.’s famed Hollywood Hills for $5.5 million, Makeover of the Week -- Reign Disick’s shaved head that Kourtney Kardashian is not OK with, Winners of the Week -- Who’s the Boss fans is coming back with original stars Tony Danza and Alyssa Milano, Loser of the Week -- Jake Paul’s Calabasas home gets raided by the FBI

Page 8: Up Close -- Duchess Kate Middleton helps unpack donations at Baby Basics (full page)

Page 10: Vegging Out -- Katie Couric with a zucchini the size of a baby, Justin Long and cucumbers, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and tomatoes 

Page 12: Mask Up -- Charlize Theron at a drive-in screening of Mad Max: Fury Road, Justin Theroux bikes on the streets of NYC

Page 14: Dog Days of Summer -- Kevin Hart and his dog by the pool 

Page 15: Salma Hayek gives her dog a bath, PLEASE ADOPT, DON’T SHOP 

Page 17: Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Garner both newly single sparked romance rumors when the former co-stars met up for a beach date with Bradley’s daughter Lea 

Page 18: Kit Harington adjusts himself in public (full page)

Page 19: Adele paying her respects to Beyonce’s Black Is King while wearing the same crescent moon print, Kaia Gerber and Cara Delevingne share a sweater Taylor Swift sent to a select group of fans to promote her single Cardigan 

Page 20: Cover Story -- Meghan Markle breaks her silence -- she wants to set the record straight about the controversial new book Finding Freedom 

Page 22: While Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s new life in America is engulfed in drama back in the U.K. Prince William and Princess Kate looked more at ease than ever as they did charity work amid the COVID-19 pandemic 

Page 24: What Portia de Rossi knows -- is Ellen DeGeneres a secret meanie? Portia has seen it all 

Page 26: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West battle over the prenup -- the gloves are off as Kim and Kanye go to war over their prenup after a make-or-break vacation 

Page 28: Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn secretly engaged -- Taylor is ready for her happy ending as she accepts longtime boyfriend Joe’s proposal

Page 30: Beth Ailes the widow of disgraced Fox News CEO Roger Ailes insists Megyn Kelly’s claim that she was sexually harassed by Roger is untrue and that Megyn turned against her boss after a decades-long friendship because he reprimanded her for trying to negotiate her salary in the press 

Page 31: A former employee at Lisa Vanderpump’s West Hollywood restaurant SUR has filed a class action lawsuit alleging the reality star failed to compensate workers properly, after welcoming their first child together daughter Lyla Katherine Schwarzenegger and Chris Pratt spent the first days showing her off to family 

Page 34: The Big Interview -- Shay Mitchell on not rushing into marriage -- she’d rather go to other people’s weddings -- the actress and new mom has no intention of tying the knot anytime soon 

Page 38: Beauty Buzz -- Tool Time -- Jennifer Aniston 

Page 40: Entertainment 

Page 42: Animal Overload -- My dog looks like Lin-Manuel Miranda 

Page 45: Double Take -- Jersey Shore’s Vinny Guadagnino does some yard work in Staten Island 

Page 46: Horoscope -- Leo James Corden turned 42 on August 22 

Page 48: Last Laughs