#minsc too

[paarthursass]

genuinely love how the whole gang is like "fuck this guy"

[caducityclay]

No one asked but my fav companions from bg3 are gale, Lae'zel and jaheira

[mostwantedpotato404]

Let's celebrate GOTY <3

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[blackjackkent]

Down the parsed dialogue rabbit hole again, this time looking at Ethel's Vicious Mockery lines for all the characters, and goddamn, they are brutal.

ASTARION You're one thirsty night away from betraying everyone. Deep down, you like being leashed, don't you? Is there still rat stuck in your teeth, slave?

GALE I can smell what's under those bandages, wizard. You're all rot and ruin. Come to greet death early? You'll be a lovely spectacle. Who would be jealous of you, apprentice?

KARLACH Let's pull your strings, infernal puppet. Happy to sell everyone's soul but your own, aren't you? When I'm done, even the Hells won't want you.

LAE'ZEL Your people will never take you back - illithid scum. Do you miss kissing Vlaakith's feet, gith? A toad with a tadpole! How fitting.

MINSC How quaint! The hamster has a pet. Only evil here is what's inside you, ranger. Go rub your rat, soft-skull.

SHADOWHEART You're so far up Shar's cake you can't see straight. Pathetic. Why would Shar love you when no one else does? You're no complex puzzle. Just a sad little girl.

WYLL Do you think losing that eye made you a hero? Oh, look! It's daddy's regret. Fraud of the Frontiers!

DRAGONBORN Aww, where's your clan? Bet they'd exile you for that brainworm in a blink. Bet that honour of yours shatters easy as your scales. You foul-breathed little lizard!

DWARF No flabby dwarf's a threat to me. More beard than brains, the lot of you. Bet you'd trade your friends for a trinket or two, gold-eater!

DWARF (DUERGAR) Bow your head, slave. You remember how, don't you? Grey and useless as a stone comb. I'll squeeze that stone heart until it bleeds, dwarf. Need a new master, illithid lover?

ELF Fancy yourself immortal? We'll see how long that lasts. I'll show you what a true fey does, dearie. Elves are so pretty. Pretty worthless!

ELF (DROW - FEMALE) Filthy underscum! Just another of Lolth's pretty harlots. Slaver. Sadist. How dare you judge me?

ELF (DROW - MALE) Bare your throat, spider-bait. Kneel, boy. Just like the matriarchs taught you to. Bow to your betters, boy.

GNOME Disgusting burrow rat. Bet your clan's happy you're gone! Try laughing after I rip your throat out, gnome.

HALF-ELF I wonder which parent regrets you more, half-breed. How revolting. Another thin-blooded mongrel. Half-elf. Half-human. All useless.

HALF-ELF (DROW) Even the Underdark doesn't want you, half-breed. A half-drow? How grotesque. Surprised you show yourself in public, abomination.

HALF-ORC Come now, tusks-for-brains! Doesn't this make you angry? All that bloodlust. A little tap, and I bet you won't know friend from foe! Lumbering half-orc. Twice as ugly as your parents combined!

HALFLING Come closer, little softie. You'll be tender. A tiny, sweet morsel. Just for me.

HUMAN Another human rat infesting Faerûn. A human! So desperate to be special. Pity. That tadpole actually made you interesting.

TIEFLING I'll burn you alive and everyone will celebrate. You're everyone's punching bag and no one's favourite. I see the Hells spit out another tragic little tiefling.

[albaharu]

bg3 the princess bride au ⚔️ no idea who vizzini would be

[sirgavvainet]

Wifeys

[starkspi]

Minsc's thoughts on Astarion [part 1] [part 2] "Minsc may have been mistaken. Boo presents compelling evidence that Astarion may in fact be a vampire."

[krembruleed]

reunion

[ribbonentrails]

I waited 1 year to make this joke

[depressedandasian]

Truly the most realistic part of BG3 is that nearly everyone reaches for the booze at the slightest inconvenience.

[rodatirhaalo]

Reminder to change up your party comp from time to time!

[blackjackkent]

More parsed dialogue adventures. I was watching the video linked in this post about Astarion's dialogue if you try to throw the ball in camp if Scratch has been killed for whatever reason. Got me wondering what the other companions say in various ball-throwing scenarios...

If the ball is thrown and Scratch is trapped at the posthouse but could still be rescued:

ASTARION: - Even the power of a squeaky ball isn't enough to break the dog out of that kennel. - Well... there might have been another dog around? - What, I have to go and pick it up myself? Ridiculous. - I should probably free the dog - this ball won't fetch itself. LAE'ZEL: - The dog's still stuck at the post house. - Just - tossing the ball around. - I need to break Scratch out of that kennel. - Throwing the ball around is no fun when there's no Scratch to catch it. GALE: - I suppose teleportation is beyond Scratch. - I should probably fetch Scratch from the post house. - I'm just playing fetch with myself unless I go back for Scratch... - Might as well throw the damn thing at the post house... SHADOWHEART: - I suppose I should really free Scratch before I expect him to come running... - Scratch can't aid me just now - not while he's in the post house. - Worth a try. I really ought to free Scratch. - I don't know what I expected - Scratch can't reach me just now. WYLL: - Scratch is cooped up at the post house. Can't wait to have him back. - Scratch is a good friend. I need to get him back. - The pooch won't be fetching balls until I fetch him from that kennel. - *Sigh* KARLACH: - Scratch is still stuck at the post house. - Don't know what I expected. - We need to go get our boy back from that awful kennel. - This is no fun without Scratch here. JAHEIRA: - Blast. We left the dog to the kennels. - Too much to hope that Scratch would hear it and break free. - Perhaps if I threw Boo, Scratch would come running... do not think I missed that hungry look, hound. - Enough - I do believe the dog himself would be embarrassed for me. Let's go get him back. HALSIN: - Scratch cannot come - he still languishes at the post house. - Of course, my canine friend cannot help just now. He remains at the post house. - Thwarted again. I must see to freeing that poor dog. - Worth an attempt, but it would surely be quicker to just free Scratch. MINTHARA: - Scratch! Here, boy! Where is that damn dog? - Scratch is at the post house. We should organise a rescue mission. - Who do we need to kill to get Scratch back? - I hope he remembers us. (Devnote: Sadly.) MINSC: - Scratch is a captive of the post house still. Unless he breaks out to come and fetch...? No. - Would you like to fetch instead, Boo? - One more throw, and then we shall go and fetch Scratch from his prison. - You are right, Boo. If Scratch could see me now, he would be concerned. TAV: - Ah - Scratch is still at the post house. - It was worth a shot. Could have been other dogs in the area. - Time to fetch Scratch from the kennels, I suppose. - Well, it was worth one last shot.

If Scratch is permadead:

ASTARION: - Good riddance to the dog. Who'd miss that waggy little tail... (devnote: Pretending not to be sad and failing) - Does it have a sad squeak now? Is that even possible? - I suppose I'll just pick it up myself. - Can't believe the stupid dog isn't here to get the stupid ball. LAE'ZEL: - It's not much fun alone. - I really don't know what I thought would happen. - Solo fetch. A miserable pastime. - Can't believe I'm going to say this, but - I miss Scratch. GALE: - You were an excellent friend, Scratch - and that's coming from a cat-lover. - I hope there's balls and bones galore, wherever you are... - Poor Scratch. I'm lucky to have met you. - I hope Scratch doesn't miss his ball, wherever he is... SHADOWHEART: - I need to stop doing this to myself... - I didn't do this enough, when I had the chance. - I hope Scratch has a new ball to play with, wherever he is... - It's silly... part of me felt like Scratch might still show up for his ball. WYLL: - Fetch isn't much of a solo game. - Damn. I miss the furry fellow. - For old times' sake. - I miss you, Scratch. KARLACH: - I miss my dog. - Here, pup. (Devnote: Sadly - the dog is dead and she knows this.) - Why am I doing this to myself? - Scratch should be here. With his family. JAHEIRA: - Enough. This isn't helping anyone. - You deserved better, boy. - Gods, but you'd miss the fuss. The noise. Gods above, even the smell. - Pointless, without a pup to chase it. HALSIN: - I hope you are happy, wherever you are. - I am sorry, Scratch. - I torment myself - Scratch is not going to come. - Poor Scratch. I hope he is at peace. MINTHARA: - Everyone assumes I killed the dog. I liked the dog. - Scratch reminded me of my first displacer beast. A noble creature. - Withers! Be a good skeleton and fetch that ball. - Gah. I miss the damn dog. (Devnote: Surprised by her own feelings.) MINSC: - Scratch, come and... oh. How could I forget he was gone, Boo? - No game of fetch will bring Scratch back from death. - I know he is gone, Boo, but... perhaps this is a way of keeping him alive, no? - I miss him, Boo. TAV: - I suppose I'd better pick it up. No one else will. - Poor Scratch. I miss him. - It's not as fun when no one brings it back. - Scratch really gave that ball life. DARK URGE: - Why can't you fetch, puppy? Death is no excuse! - I think Scratch is up north. Playing in a goat-farm in Icewind Dale, of course! - Scratch was only ever meat of the lowest grade. - Aw, did someone pet you a bit too hard, pup? I thought you liked it!

If ball is thrown but Scratch unavailable/not currently summoned:

ASTARION: - Oh, the dog's had enough fun? Lazy mutt. - Dog? Dog! Fetch the ball. Fetch the - never mind, I'll get it. - First he wants to fetch, now he doesn't want to fetch. Make up your mind, dog. - The dog's tired after one little game of fetch? Weak. Pathetic. Barely a good boy at all. LAE'ZEL: - I don't think Scratch is up for it. - Scratch is resting. Not sure who or what I expected would fetch that. - It's Scratch's naptime. I'll need to get that. - I guess I'll have to get that. Scratch isn't about to. GALE: - Poor pooch is worn out. - Better let Scratch rest up. - The ballplay can wait, I suppose. - Hmm. I suppose Scratch has had enough fun and games for now. SHADOWHEART: - It's too soon - Scratch needs his rest. - Lazy mutt... no, I shouldn't say that. He's a good boy. - Poor thing. He must still be tired. - Still too soon. Scratch is dreaming of balls and buried bones, no doubt. WYLL: - Poor Scratch is tired. I should let him rest. - Scratch needs a snooze. The games can wait. - All tuckered out? Me too, Scratch. Me too. - No point in that. Good ol' Scratch is snoozing away. KARLACH: - Poor Scratch is all worn out. - I shouldn't tease our boy. - Fella must need a little shut-eye. - Better get it myself. JAHEIRA: - Well, Scratch? Do you scratch yourself somewhere? - Would you prefer I wild-shape, and fight you for it? - Take your rest then, Scratch. Eldath knows you've probably earned it more than us. - Lazy pup! Must I fetch it myself? HALSIN: - The poor dog is still weary. I must give him a chance to recover. - The valiant Scratch deserves his rest. Best leave him be for another while. - Even the most loyal of companions needs his rest. Sleep on, Scratch. - Scratch deserves his rest - I can handle this without him. MINTHARA: - Disobedient hound. Where is he? - Scratch. Obey my command! (Devnote: miffed but not actually angry; she likes Scratch too much to be angry.) - Blasted dog. You dare ignore me? - Do I have to fetch it myself? This is demeaning. MINSC: - Scratch is off somewhere scratching himself, I think. - Ah, I see. Scratch is playing fetch in his dreams instead. - Scratch sleeps still? Boo, you will have to share with him some of your stamina-building tricks. - If Scratch will not fetch, and Boo will not fetch, then Minsc must fetch. TAV: - Must be tired from all that running around. - Even good boys need a moment to catch their breath. - Must still be tired. Poor Scratch. - If Scratch won't pick it up, I guess I will.

Some other bonus animal-related items, starting with the owlbear cub talking about Scratch:

If Scratch and the cub are friends: No - Scratch friend! Takes care of me when scared at night. If Scratch was killed: Sad. No want food. No want play. (Player: What's the matter?) Scratch gone. Miss him. (Player pets cub.) Little better... You're nice.

And Scratch about the cub:

If Scratch and the cub are friends: No, nothing happened - just the young one having bad dreams. That's what you heard. (Player: I hear you're friends with the owlbear cub.) Yes! He's a handful, but I like having him around. I stay with him and keep him company when he's scared. He'll settle down, in time. If the cub was killed: It's not the same here. Feels emptier. (Player: What's wrong?) The young cub. He's gone... for good. (Player pets Scratch.) Thank you. I needed that.

[dungeon-vault]

[frankensteined]

minsc's mementos of old friends 🥺

[sharess-festhall]

This may be mildly controversial and i apologize in advance: I really don’t like how I've seen some people say that Minsc couldn’t possibly be a romance option, specifically because he's too dumb, and wouldn’t understand consent.

Like, I don't even want to romance him personally, but that’s a very infantilizing thing to say about a grown adult, and also it's just factually incorrect. There are a few lines in (I believe) BG2 that suggest the opposite, there is a potential language barrier issue that might make communicating in Common harder for him in general (with him being from Rashemen and being bilingual, his true level of intelligence is at best murky), plus, according to the lore, he’s the way he is because he suffered significant head trauma in the past, so the whole supposition also has this really gross ableist twinge that I just really don't like. (Also, if one sincerely holds the belief that Minsc's brain injury makes it so that he can't understand consent, I hope that they also believe the same about every Durge character, just for the sake of logical consistency.)

Besides, on top of all of that… have you guys ever tried to hit on him? It could partially be Mercer having fun with the delivery, but those are not the words of a man who doesn’t understand what he’s talking about. No, he absolutely sounds like he's saying those lines with a wink and a nudge, and using being seen as dumb to tease the player, and make fun of them.

My headcanon is that he’s perfectly aware of Tav’s eyes on him, he knows very well the effect he has on them, and he’s just having fun playing at ignorance.