#minor tw self harm

[sweetchildcloud]

||Cherish me part 2 || written by me

🔞 Gojo x reader| Minors DNI| TRIGGER WARNING 🔞

Plot: Gojo taking care and pampering a depressed raeder [self insert only about he depression and shower,not about the abusive mother ,i just wanted to add more angst lol]

Tags: sh,depression,Gojo x reader,cute,fluff,comfort,implied naked shower together,Gojo pampering you,past abuse mention,scalding,abusive mother(reader) [ viewers be aware,if this is touchy or unconfortable for you then don't go haed]

Warning: it starts immediately with sh talking

i'm no english native so sorry for some mistakes

please reblog 🔁 and like❤️

P.S: yesterday i did a shower thinking of Gojo doing it for me and since i feel depressed lately i wanted to write this and share my comfort.

i'm so delusional. lol

@muzansslxt @candy69gurl @kiwicopia

Satoru doesn’t let you finish. “Your cuts” he continues, almost as if he can’t bring himself to look away. “From last week and today” his voice is so soft, barely audibly.

He reaches out and takes your wrists between his hands, turning them over as he examines the cuts. “I know you weren’t just ‘scraping’ yourself” he says in a sharp tone. “You’re hurting yourself.”

“I-“ you try and pull your wrists away, but he firmly holds onto them. You flinch and quickly try and brush it off. You’re not ready to talk about it. But you know he won’t let it go.

“You’ve been doing this for a while now, haven’t you?” He doesn’t let you answer, and he’s holding onto your wrists too tightly. It hurts. “Tell the truth.”

“It doesn’t matter!” you finally cry out, your voice cracking. “I’m fine. I don’t need anyone. I just…I…”

Satoru doesn’t allow you to finish. He pulls your hands up to his chest and hugs you. Not just a friendly hug, he pulls you in tightly, almost as if he’s worried about losing you.

“It’s not okay” he says softly, stroking your hair. “You’re not okay.”

“I’m fine, I swear…” your voice cracks, and you know you’re close to crying. You’re not okay but it’d be better if he didn’t worry about you. You shouldn’t be so emotional anyway.

“I just…” you trail off. He’s holding you so tightly as he strokes your hair gently. It’s so soothing, and you can’t help but wish he would hold you like this always.

You just… you just want to be held.

He squeezes you tighter, and the two of you stay like this for a few moments. It’s too quiet, and you can almost hear his heartbeat.

Satoru presses a light kiss to your head then finally lets go. “I’ll run you a shower, okay? Go get cleaned up” he says softly. He holds your hand and walks you into the bathroom, helping you strip and giving you privacy. But it’s okay. You’ll be okay.

"But I don't want to shower" You whimpered annoyed

He gives you a firm look. “It wasn’t a question” he says simply, and begins undressing.

He’s already running the shower, and the bathroom fills with a warm haze. He strips out of his jacket and then his shirt, leaving only his boxers on. You can see the scars from countless battles marking his pale skin. Every muscle of his body is well-defined. And all you can do is stare in awe.

"You're gonna shower with me?" You spoke as he tugs you in towards the shower

“Of course.” He says it so simply and his bright blue eyes look into yours. “I’m gonna make sure there aren’t any razors in here, and then I’m gonna wash you myself. We need to clean out those cuts before they get infected.”

He stands under the water for a moment then grabs your soap, lathering your body with it slowly. He takes his time, moving gently and examining you closely. You almost feel like he’s worshipping you.

He takes a breath as he glances at your back and continues to lather you in soap. He’ll bring the burn up later. But for now he focuses solely on cleaning you.

Once he’s done, he reaches out and grabs the shampoo. “Head back, close your eyes.” You do, and he pours the shampoo onto your hair and then slowly washing it and massaging your scalp.

You trembled as your big burn scar on your back was exposed,memories flooded your mind,your mother pouring hot water on you calling you 'useless child'

You flinch and start to tremble as the memories return to you. The words from your mother play endlessly inside your head.

The sound of soap slipping through his hands brings you back to reality, and he continues to massage your scalp without skipping a beat.

He finishes massaging your hair gently, and then he takes the conditioner and rubs it through your hair carefully. He doesn't say anything for a moment until he's done, and then he pulls you against his chest tightly.

He rests his chin on the top of your head as he pulls you even closer. He nuzzles your hair and wraps his arms around you tightly. He holds you so close and protects you so gently. He doesn’t care about your scars or the pain that lingers over your heart. He doesn't know about your abusive past. He just holds you and comforts you, wanting nothing in return but your happiness. "It's okay" he says quietly, kissing the top of your head.

"it's not…ugly?" You asked trembling "i don't remember much..just my mum calling from the kitchen and then..she tooked the pot with boiling water in it that was supposed to be used for ramen and just…poured on me"

"Shh" he says, pressing his mouth onto your forehead to soothe you and distract you from those haunting memories.

"It doesn't matter" he whispers, as the water from the shower splashes.

"I don't care about your scars" he continues softly. "They're part of you. And who you are is beautiful."

The water cascades down your body, making your hair slick. He continues to trace his fingers along your scars, not judging or making any comments. Just… embracing them.

"Scars are proof that you survived what broke you" he says in a comforting tone. He kisses your forehead again and continues to stroke your hair as the water rinses the conditioner out.

"And that alone makes you strong" he says firmly.

"Plus, I think they look pretty. And who doesn't love scars?"

His tone is playful, although you can tell he's serious about not caring about the scars.

You feel like you're stuck in time. His voice is like a lullaby that soothes you. He strokes your hair, and the water makes your skin feel warm. You lean into him, and he holds you tighter.

All of your past trauma… all of your fears. It all feels like it's fading away in his arms. No matter how broken you may be, he'll always be there to pick up the pieces.

After a while, he turns off the water and dries you off with a towel before helping you put on a robe.

His hand runs up and down your back, massaging you and helping you relax. You're so grateful for his touch. After a while, he speaks up, his voice so gentle and soothing.

"Do you have a skincare routine?" He asks, sounding more curious than anything. "I'm guessing…you don't."

"do i look bad? does my skin feel bad?" You asked sounding hurt

"That's not what I meant" he says quickly. "Sorry, I guess I phrased that badly."

He pauses for a moment, thinking, and then gives you a small smile. "Your skin looks healthy. Maybe a little dull, but that's easy to fix. I was just wondering if you had a skincare routine or not."

When you don't reply, he continues "We should work on one for you" he says excitedly. "We can go out shopping together. I can show you the products I use. That would be fun, right? Plus, you wouldn't have to go out alone."

When he asks about shopping with you, he says it so excitedly, sounding like a kid asking his crush on a date.

"If you're the one putting products on me then.." you snuggled into his chest,you hand cupped and covered by the robe sleeve "I guess it will be okay" you mumbled

He chuckles and pulls you in closer. "Does that mean yes?" he asks softly, his hand stroking your cheek.

"And not just for shopping, I can help with applying products. And maybe you can try that face mask I bought. It says it'll give you 'radiant' dewy skin'."

He pauses for a beat and giggles softly. "I think it might look cute on your cheeks" he says, making you laugh too. The sound is so contagious.

Satoru smiles wider and ruffles your hair affectionately, his hands moving to your shoulders. "We could make a night of it. Order some food, and I can do a face mask too. I'm sure it'll look great on me." He winks playfully, clearly making up excuses to spend time with you.

Your eyes flicker to the floor when you realize that's all he wants. Time. As much time as he can make with you. He wants to fill each second of life with you.

“And I’ll tell you a secret.” He pauses for a beat again, and you listen intently, trying to understand what “secret” he would feel the need to tell you. “You’ll be the first person to see me with makeup on” he says in a whisper. “And I’m nervous.”

He chuckles lightly and rubs your shoulder again. The robe slips off your shoulder, and he pulls it back up, fixing it onto your body before speaking again.

“We should get matching face masks” he says. “Y’know, make it cute.” This time his tone is playful, and he grins down at you. “We could watch a movie or something. I’ll even set up a blanket fort for us to cuddle inside” he says, sounding like a child once again.

He’ll do anything for you. And you know that by now. His voice is so soft, and his eyes are warm as he studies your expression.

“And we’ll get snacks” he continues excitedly. “Popcorn, Doritos, chocolate. Do you like Cheetos? I can buy some cheesy Cheetos.”

He pauses, waiting for a response. It’s always cute to see him so giddy. “We’ll make a mountain of snacks out of the blanket fort and lie in it all night” he says, his voice full of wonder.

“I…I wanna make a memory with you, y’know? We can do anything you want.”

He rubs your shoulder again and then your hair. “So, what do you think? Wanna have a skincare night with me? We’ll make it a date night or something.”

He leans in and kisses your forehead. “And then we do the blanket fort the next time. You can decorate it however you want, and I’ll follow along.”

“And then you can tell me all about your scars” he chuckles, rubbing the back of your neck. “We can talk about anything you want.”

A few moments pass, and you don’t say anything, feeling lost in thought. Eventually, you speak with soft voice. “Yeah…” you say, feeling oddly giddy inside as if you’re a kid on Christmas morning. “That would be really nice, actually.”

He smiles and tilts your head up so that he can look you in the eye. “Then we have a date” he says, making his voice sound very enthusiastic. “It’ll be a big skin care night with movie and snacks and…”

“And more snacks, right?” you ask, and he nods enthusiastically.

“I’m gonna do a whole night dedicated to you” he continues. “We’ll focus on your skin, get some good food, and cuddle in a blanket fort.”

Your heart feels like it’s pounding through your chest as you think of all the things he suggested. “It sounds amazing…” you hesitate before continuing. “Do you promise it’s gonna be…c-cute?”

“It’ll be the cutest” he says with such conviction that you don’t know how it could be possible.

“Trust me, everything we do together is bound to turn out cute.” He grins goofily and strokes your cheek gently.

“It’ll be a date night of just us. I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing.” He pauses for a moment and looks you in the eyes again. “Nothing would be cuter to me than just spending the night with you.”

You grin sheepishly as you stare back at him. Your stomach twists in knots and your skin flushes.

His words are simple but you melt at their sincerity.

His bright smile, his eyes filled with a soft kind of love. Just the way he stares at you and speaks to you fills you with butterflies.

You know that he means every single word; there's no deceit in them.

In the silence between you, you realize just how important he is to you. You can't imagine a life without him in it.

[defective-automaton]

MDNI please

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Dirty and shit but got a bit deeper this time. Even with this dull ass blade

[theflyingfeeling]

Did someone order an angsty Olli/Allu piece with an attempt at hurt/comfort and a pinch of some melancholic spice? No? Well, I wrote one anyway, I hope you enjoy 🖤

~~~

just want your energy, a piece of that fractured mountain

I'll take whatever comes with it as long as it's yours

— Piece of Your Heart by Mayday Parade

~~~

Aleksi wasn't sure how long he had been staring at Olli's sleeping face until he realised the man was only pretending to sleep. Likewise, Aleksi couldn't decide what had finally given it away; it might have been the way Olli seemed to hold his breath whenever people passed their door in the echoing hotel corridor or every time Aleksi's phone pinged on the nightstand, or maybe the final clue had been how, every time Aleksi had shifted under the duvet to keep his arm from going numb or to adjust his pillow, Olli had moved himself closer to Aleksi, ever so slightly, so that their limbs would be touching again.

However, there was no reaction when Aleksi lifted his hand to lightly caress Olli's cheek, no sign of his stern expression softening. Aleksi repressed a sigh. He wanted to respect Olli's silence, even if it stung his heart a little.

Seasonal melancholia for reasons I can't explain, Olli had told him.

Can't or won't? Aleksi had wanted to ask, but had kept his mouth shut instead. Perhaps Olli really didn't have the words to spell out why his mood turned blue whenever the leaves in the trees turned red and yellow, and why it all seemed to be so much more severe this year, much more oppressive and unsettling, to the point that Aleksi didn't know what to do some days, didn't know how to ease Olli's pain without Aleksi being able to crawl inside his head and shovel out all the sadness. He knew it wasn't his place to do so, nor did Olli expect him to, but he felt so utterly helpless when all he could do was sit by Olli and share his physical space while his mind was somewhere else completely, far out of Aleksi's reach, no matter how hard he tried to hold out his hand.

Yet, he kept trying. He had to, because every time Olli was like this – absent, disappeared into another dimension – Aleksi was scared this would be the time Olli wouldn't come back to him anymore. That was why, despite the lack of response and the hollow feeling inside his own chest, Aleksi kept stroking Olli's shaven cheek, careful not to disturb his seeming peace too much.

Olli's long lashes rested against his cheekbones. On a less sombre Sunday morning, Aleksi would've blown air on them, just to see them flutter and eventually reveal the blue behind them, often followed by a sleepy smile and a revenge of some kind: a pinch to Aleksi's side or a scheming hand sneaking inside the back of Aleksi's boxers to punish him for disrupting Olli's sleep.

(Every time the others would joke about Olli being a heavy sleeper, Aleksi would laugh along; not because he agreed, but because he knew better – or perhaps he just had certain, unfair advantages.)

The task of taking in Olli's unreadable expression was far too important to abandon for the sake of checking the time or opening the messages that kept Aleksi's phone buzzing on the small table beside the bed. He didn't need to anyway; Aleksi assumed it was past the opening hours of the breakfast buffet already, and the band group chat was probably asking what was up and if the two of them were joining the shopping spree that had been planned for the day. He reckoned they could always get blueberry muffins from the 7-Eleven across the street and that they could catch up with the others later, should they feel like checking out the malls and boutiques of downtown Seattle. Right now, all Aleksi needed to do was make sure Olli was comfortable, to make him feel safe enough to maybe allow Aleksi to carry some of his burden for him, whatever it was.

Holding back another hopeless sigh, Aleksi gave up his attempts to have Olli open his eyes or in any other way indicate he was awake. He retreated his hand with one final stroke across Olli's cheek, biting his inner lip as if that did anything to stop his own eyes from stinging. Olli looked so lovely, lying there next to him so peacefully, yet Aleksi knew his mind was anything but; it felt unfair in every aspect of the situation – Olli's misery and Aleksi's inability to do anything about it – so was it really any wonder that Aleksi, too, was a little downcast?

If his tears would've done anything at all to bring Olli back to life, back to him, Aleksi would've filled the entire Pacific Ocean with them.

Blinking rapidly and trying to calm his shaky breathing, Aleksi almost missed Olli cracking his eyes open slightly, shooting him a sleepy gaze before closing them again,

"Don't stop." In the bleak quietness of the room, Olli's silent request sounded louder than it was, deafening in its anguish more than in its volume.

Aleksi was quick to return his hand to Olli's face, using his palm to cup Olli's cheek and his thumb to stroke softly over his cheekbone. It was then he saw the smallest of shifts in Olli's expression: the slight crease of his brow softening, the thin line of his lips relaxing, his Adam's apple moving as he swallowed and rested his head deeper against his pillow. Encouraged by the response, Aleksi shuffled closer and touched the tip of his nose to Olli's, hoping to see his eyelids flutter again or maybe even his lips twitch. For a long, heart-breaking second Aleksi felt defeated, but then Olli nudged his nose against Aleksi's own, and Aleksi felt a little easy to breathe again.

I'm here, Aleksi communicated wordlessly with another nudge, a little further up the bridge of Olli's nose, right by his cheekbone. Anything you need, I'm here for you.

Even his stomach objecting for the lack of breakfast couldn't stop Aleksi from nuzzling up against Olli like a lovesick kitten, but Olli begged to differ.

"Are you hungry?" Aleksi wanted to silence such irrelevant questions with a kiss to Olli's lips; they were close enough for that very purpose.

"Kinda," he mumbled nevertheless. "You?"

Olli didn't answer. Aleksi didn't expect him to.

"We can stay here a little longer. If you want to."

Olli sighed and pressed his forehead against Aleksi's. Aleksi took that as a yes.

~

It was close to noon when they ventured out to find something to eat. There was a cosy-looking coffee shop down the road, but they ended up gathering their brunch supplies from their nearest convenience store and retreating back to their hotel room, deciding the coffee shop was too crowded and suffered from a sever lack of soft beds to cuddle on. They even made out some, which they hadn't done since they had set foot on North American soil; Olli's kisses tasted of cheap corner store chocolate and vending machine coffee, all the makings of an easy, lazy Sunday far away from home, and it was almost enough for Aleksi to ignore the frown that was threatening to make its return to Olli's presence.

Almost.

In the afternoon the band gathered for a scheduled rehearsal at the studio of a friend of a friend of a friend, and for every hour that passed, the comfort of the noon seemed like a distant memory. With a worried scowl, Aleksi watched Olli go on about his routines without a word: fixing the strings of his bass and strumming out notes with a solemn face, never missing a single beat, yet somehow not fully in the music either, which was the polar opposite of what Olli usually was when he played. He said nothing to participate in the conversations around him, although Aleksi knew he was listening. He hardly reacted to Tommi's puns and only smiled wryly at Aleksi's, which was cold comfort in the bigger picture, but comfort nevertheless. He stayed in Aleksi's proximity as they played, sat by his side when they took a break, even rested his head on Aleksi's shoulder when sleepiness seemed to get the better of him. As the afternoon turned into evening and the topic of conversation began to shift from music to beer and TGI Friday's, Olli shot Aleksi a look that spoke more than a thousand words.

Take me home.

Aleksi couldn't do that, of course, so he did the next best thing and excused them so they could leave the others with their after-practice plans and take a cab back to the hotel.

Back in their room, it didn't take them long to end up exactly how they had started the day, facing each other on the bed under the duvet, Aleksi's hand gently smoothing Olli's skin. The only difference was that Olli's eyes were open – drowsy, but open – and that his breathing was somehow more heavier, hotter against Aleksi's lips.

Aleksi knew what it meant the moment he felt Olli's hand on his neck.

Olli's lips on his felt like a ghost of a kiss at first, a shadow of all the passion Aleksi knew was hiding somewhere inside his lover. Aleksi let Olli slide his tongue inside Aleksi's mouth, deepening the kiss with each deep breath he took; he let Olli's fingers graze over his bare chest, along his side to his hips and from there to the front of his boxers.

His palm worked in a circular motion imitating the movements of Olli's tongue inside Aleksi's mouth.

"Are you sure?" Aleksi pulled back when his cock began to show interest towards Olli's skilled fingers.

As a reply to Aleksi's question, Olli grabbed his hand by the wrist, interrupting its efforts in fondling Olli's back, and shamelessly placed it on his own bulge. The hardness under the fabric was all the hint Aleksi needed.

While they pleasured each other, their kisses grew hungrier, needier, almost overwhelmingly so, until Aleksi had to withdraw with a gasp to fill his lungs with much-needed air. He barely had time to exhale before Olli's lips were back on his, hasty, desperate, urgent, nearly breaking Aleksi's heart all over again with their despair. As Olli's movements got more frantic, with his hand picking up its speed on Aleksi's cock and his hips thrusting into Aleksi's fist, his teeth began to nibble on Aleksi's bottom lip. Aleksi didn't have to guess what it was a sign of once he felt the teeth sink in deeper, full-on biting him as Olli chased his climax with Aleksi's hand on him, stroking him closer to the edge until Aleksi could taste traces of iron on his tongue. It was then Olli released his lip, gasping as his semen spilled over Aleksi's fingers, painting them white and wet. Moaning softly, Aleksi followed shortly after with Olli's generous help, too generous even, as his hand was still pumping Aleksi's hard-on when the aftershocks of his orgasm made his body tremble.

(Fair enough, Olli had the power to make him tremble even without his hand on his cock; most days, all Olli needed to do was just look at him a certain way, and he'd crumble like an overbaked ginger biscuit.)

The look on Olli's eyes now was dark and dazed, yet Aleksi could detect a hint of serenity in them, behind all the shades of sadness. It may as well be gone in the morning, but Aleksi allowed himself to revel in the sparkle of hope he saw in front of him, in his lover's gaze.

Before they'd fall asleep, Aleksi fetched a towel to dry them both clean (and nearly passed out when Olli used his finger to wipe a drop of Aleksi's cum off his abdomen and brought it to his lips); then he lay down on his back to make room for Olli under his armpit, knowing (and hoping) that's where he preferred to be after sex, and by some happy coincidence, that's exactly where Aleksi wanted (more like needed) him as well.

Maybe Olli would be a step closer to him in the morning. Perhaps he'd have taken two more steps back. However it may be, Aleksi would be right there waiting for him, ready whenever he was, his hand already reaching out for Olli's.

[defective-automaton]

MINORS. DNI PLEASE

(SFX) Block. Dont report

Just how these are looking rn. Same cvts

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[defective-automaton]

MINORS. DNI PLEASE

(SFX) Block. Dont report

More ugly photos

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[defective-automaton]

MINORS. DNI PLEASE

(TW SFX) Fuck it. Ik my skin is ugly but whatever

Block. Dont report. Feel free to comment or whatever tf

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