#minnesota wild writing

[raysofcrosby]

CHRISTMAS WITH YOU – k. kaprizov

warning(s): mentions of death and loss, but otherwise just tons of cute holiday cheer, an embarrassing near fall ice skating and just cute holiday fluff.

word count: 17,897

an: this better late than never, fic is my entry for @antoineroussel's winter fic exchange 2k23!! i had the absolutely pleasure of writing for @callsign-denmark who supplied me a list of players she enjoys reading about and got me broaden my horizons outside of my usual hockey men to write about and got me to write about the happy ray of sunshine that is kirill kaprizov!! as a sucker of friends to lovers, this is a friends to lovers fic, sprinkled with some nice christmas spirit and ofc, as a lover of happy endings– this one's got a good one!! i had fun writing this and i hope you enjoy 🥰💙

Tori Holly never understood when people said that Holidays could be some of the loneliest and saddest times in people’s lives. Growing up, she remembered how lively their house always was– filled with music, laughter and the smell of home cooking spreading throughout the house. Especially around Christmas time– that was always the most magical time of the year.

It was when her parents seemed to pull all of their magic together and turn the holiday into every feel good Christmas movie alive. And while both of her parents were only children and her one set of Grandparents that were still alive lived on the west coast– she and her older sister Jess (Jessica only if she was in trouble) never felt like their family of four celebrations were lacking. They were all each other needed and it was always more than enough.

The teaming up on their parents for the gingerbread house building contest, taking turns going shopping with their parents to be able to pick out gifts to buy using some of their saved up money (and in the younger years, their parents money of course). Watching their mom make her mom’s special hot cocoa recipe that she promised to share the recipe with them once they got older “and you two can do the same with your children one day.” Building snowmen, snowball fights, that horrible time Jess convinced Tori to climb into the igloo they tried to build and having it collapse on her (though thankfully it wasn’t a lot of snow and Jess tearfully pulled her sister out by her gloved hand.) Sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace and snuggled up beside their parents as they watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas after begging their parents to let them open just one present on Christmas Eve like they did every year without fail.

No, Tori Holly could never understand how Christmas time more specifically, could be one of the worst times of someone’s life– not until Christmas 2006, when it was going to be the first Christmas and her first birthday without her mom. She was only seven and Jess eleven when their mom got sick. She couldn’t remember a lot of the specifics, but she remembered her mom never looking or acting any differently even after her parents had sat them down on the couch and said “mommy’s doctors say that I’m very sick, but I’m not going to stop fighting.” Sure, her mom was slower around the house, maybe a little more tired– but there wasn’t anything specific that stuck out to her.

In fact, that last Christmas of ‘05, they still did every tradition they’d done in the years prior and she never once saw her mom falter or complain. And by May of ‘06, two months after Jess had turned twelve and only seven months until Tori would turn nine, she had completely forgotten about the “I’m sick” conversation there on the couch. Until right at the end of the September, when she’d gotten called out of class to go to the front office. And when she got there, she saw her Grandma Carol standing there speaking to the woman at the front desk.

“Your dad sent me here to pick you up and Grandpa Dan is going to grab Jess.” She had said it with a smile that Tori couldn’t pinpoint exactly, but instantly recognized it as a softer than her usual big, sunny smile.

She thought maybe they were going to grab ice cream and spend some more time at home with their mom. Seeing as only almost a month into school, their dad let them stay home on Friday’s just so they could spend a little extra time with her. But there was no ice cream and her Grandma didn’t take her home– they were at the hospital. And when she walked down the halls with her Grandma holding her hand and they saw her Dad, Grandpa Dan and a crying Jess, she remembered getting that sinking feeling in her stomach that something was wrong.

And something was wrong. Because it turned out that they were all there to say their last goodbyes to her mom. While she was there, she swore time dragged on– but looking back on it now, she realized just how fast her life had changed in one hour. 

They “celebrated” her ninth birthday and Christmas three months later and while their dad tried his hardest to not let the magic their home always held fade, and he really did try, there would always be a mom shaped hole in her childhood home and she wondered whether Christmas would ever be the same.

Luckily though, their dad was a Godsend. A man who was actively grieving the love of his life while adjusting to being a widower and parenting two girls– one of whom was entering her teenage years– Tori never once saw him waver. He was there at every school or after school event they had, he kept up their traditions, and was the shoulder to lean on and cry on whenever they needed one. He never once complained and after she got older, Tori always wondered how he did it. How he managed to parent them, stay strong and be everything they needed all while he was grieving on his own.

But that was just it– he was the hero their broken hearts needed and he helped heal theirs and his own every day of every month, and every birthday and holiday that came and went…he always managed to keep that magic alive.

To the point where Tori and Jess started to love Christmas once again and not see it as a mourning time for those childhood memories they left behind. And while their mom was a key figure missing at their poignant times– first days of school, first boyfriends, proms, first day of college, graduations, Jess’s wedding day to her high school sweetheart Steven and even the birth of their daughter Clara (their mom’s namesake), their dad, Jess and even she, always made sure that their mom was a part of it.

Especially once Jess and Steven had Clara, and on Tori’s 17th birthday, nonetheless, Jess had told Tori that suddenly she understood the kind of love that their parents had for them and how their dad managed to keep the magic.

Even a week later going on to say, “I would go to the end of the earth to make sure she was happy, and she just tore through my vagina like it was nothing, last week.”

And for the longest time after their mom died, life seemed to slowly return back to what their dad had fondly called their new normal. Eventually, Tori had gone to and graduated from college and moved further into the city not too far away from Jess and Steven or their home to work as a social media intern for the Minnesota Wild. A job that she luckily got with some help from her college mentor who helped her apply and wrote quite the recommendation letter for.

The life she was building for herself felt like a dream. Sure, growing up just south of Saint Paul, she and her family had frequented both Vikings and Wild games. But working behind the scenes in social media for the hockey team whose games she grew up attending was a whole different atmosphere. She met great people within the organization and had even found herself on a first name basis with some of the players.

But it was when she moved into her post-grad apartment the season after commuting from her childhood home to Saint Paul that she became better friends with two players on the team. Jordan Greenway, who was going on his third season with the Wild, and Ryan Hartman who had come from the Philadelphia Flyers. The two weren’t roommates, but both coincidentally lived a few doors down on the very same hall that Tori had. And after bumping into each other a few times and also seeing each other at the rink, it was natural that the three formed a good friendship during her first season working for the team.

Things were going great and Tori had felt like she was on a high after that first season interning for the Wild for the 2019-2020 season. Even when Covid struck and things were in such a limbo. And at the end of what was a wild and unknowing what was ahead time, she felt blessed enough to have been invited back as an intern for the 2020-2021 season, even shadowing more on the producer side of players interviews and getting to see more behind the scenes. And with every day she went to work, she felt more and more confident in her job and herself. Moving away from home was scary, but she was starting to form a life for herself in Saint Paul that she knew her mom would’ve been proud of.

Ryan and Jordan both were amongst the first few people to congratulate her when they found out she got the second producer job within the same department in what would be her third year working for the team that 2021-2022 season.

And it was truly as if things couldn’t go wrong. She loved her apartment, she got to see her sister and her family often, and she had made a nice circle of friends in the job she also loved. And as she celebrated New Years Eve with the Wild at a hotel ballroom the organization had booked out for everyone to celebrate before the Winter Classic the next morning where they would host the St. Louis Blues at Target Field in Minneapolis. She invited Jess and Steven as her plus ones, booking them a room in the hotel so they didn’t have to drive the 30 minutes home the next morning and probably hungover.

Tori woke up early the next morning back in her apartment and went through her whole routine before getting dressed and heading out the door to catch her uber that would be taking her to the stadium where she would be getting everything together before heading over to the field to work the game. And it was just before she and her co-workers were heading out of Xcel Energy Center that she got a call from her dad, answering it like it was just any other old phone call and not one that would ultimately change her entire life.

Just like when she was seven, that sinking feeling in her stomach was back, only this time around it was more poignant and felt like it would knock her legs out from beneath her and sink her down to the floor.

There had been an accident an hour earlier on the same street that the hotel where the Wild New Years Eve party had been hosted– a car accident. Jess and Steven had decided to check out early, walking to the cafe down the block from the hotel to grab some coffee and donuts to take with them before they would drive back to her dad’s to pick up Clara– Tori had the text conversation with Jess in her phone to prove it along with a “not as hungover as we thought, but hungover enough for sugary donuts” selfie of Jess and Steven that Jess had sent with her “good morning, we had a great time and I’ll text you when we get home” text.

Only Tori would never receive that text, because Jess and Steven would never make it home to their dad’s to pick up Clara. They would get hit by a drunk driver who ran a red light while they crossed the street in a crosswalk.

In an instant, she had lost her older sister and brother-in-law, while her niece had lost both of her parents— and it was a pain that Tori never, ever wanted her to feel. To add on top of it, in the flurry of grief and ‘what happens next’ endless scenarios, it was revealed in their will that if anything were to happen to either Jess or Steven…then Tori would become the legal guardian of Clara.

She had made the commitment to accept the position as Clara’s Godmother when they had asked her almost two weeks after Clara was born. And now, she knew the best way she could honor both her older sister and a man who was like a brother to her, by dedicating herself to making the best life possible for Clara.

The last eleven months of seeing grief counselors, balancing work, frequent trips to her dad’s house where Clara was staying for the meantime and her new responsibility of taking care of a soon-to-be eight-year-old as a soon-to-be 25-year-old….all of it had finally come down to now.

It was December. The week leading up to Christmas. Five days until their shared birthday and most importantly, six days until what would be Clara’s first Christmas without her parents.

And Tori had her heart set on making it as great as a Christmas it could be for Clara, just like her dad had done for her and Jess after their mom had died. 

“Another month?!” Tori gasped, keeping her voice low as she leaned against the hall of her childhood home. “But Andrew, you said I’d be able to move in by tomorrow. I’ve already got friends to help me move everything up to that floor.”

“I know I did Tori, but they were finishing the inspection today and there was more mold in the apartment than we first thought, plus some issues with the kitchen and bathroom areas,” Andrew, one of the landlords of her apartment building said, actually sounding sincere. “I’m not going to let you and your niece move in there and put both of your healths at risk.”

Tori nodded, rubbing her right temple with her free hand. “I understand, Andrew.”

“Barb asked them to start as soon as possible because we know you need this two bedroom. So they’re going to start cleaning everything up tomorrow. The guy said that there might be a chance they finish before a month, but that’s the at most it’ll take, time that he gave her.”

“Thank you, Andrew. I appreciate it, really.” She replied, peeking around the corner into her Dad’s living room to see Clara still kneeling in front of the Christmas tree. “Thank you both for looking out for us, I really appreciate it.”

“You’ve had a really rough year, Tori and you’ve always been a really good tenant. Anything my wife and I can do to help you out, we’re more than happy to.”

Tori took a deep breath and exhaled, nodding again. “Keep me updated if there’s any changes.”

“Of course. Have a good day.”

Once she hung up the call, Tori let her head lean back against the wall once more as she closed her eyes. The moment that she had found out that she was going to be Clara’s guardian, Tori had put in a request for a two bedroom apartment. At the time, there was a six month waitlist, so her dad had agreed to take care of Clara until Tori could secure a two bedroom apartment for them both. It wasn’t like she had just dropped her niece off with her dad and went on with her life. On weekends when she had them free, she would drive back to her hometown and spend the night there, keeping herself as involved with Clara’s life as possible. She would pick her up from school, sometimes take her out of school and take her to lunch. She was just as involved in her niece’s life as her dad was, only she wasn’t sleeping down the hall every single night.

And three weeks ago, Barb, the other landlord of their complex, had called her to ask if she was still interested in the two bedroom apartment. And once she told Tori it was hers, Tori knew there were some steps to go through and she requested that Barb and Andrew have whoever it was doing the cleaning, be very thorough. Being grandparents themselves to kids around Clara’s age, they both agreed without a problem.

Until there was a problem that the hired cleaner had found and reported. Some mold that he thought might be more than a surface problem. Andrew and Barb had brought someone out to inspect…leading to the phone call that Tori had just hung up on. She knew it wouldn’t be a problem with her dad for Clara to live here for a month longer. He loved having Clara around, plus he knew that Tori was trying her best to get everything set up so that Clara would be comfortable and in a safe environment when it came time to move.

The only problem was that her dad was out west in Washington State, taking care of her Grandma Doris, who had fallen down in her apartment in the assisted living complex, broke her hip and needed to get surgery. He left only this morning when she and Clara dropped him off at the airport and his return was up in the air, but at most he said he could be back before or after New Years Eve. So now Tori was tasked with the problem of figuring out how they were going to spend Christmas and the week leading up to it, when she needed to be at work a few days this week and all of Clara’s belongings were here at her dad’s house.

Initially, she figured she’d just pack up her things and move into her dad’s place until he came back. Dealing with the extra commute wouldn’t be that bad and Clara wouldn’t have to relocate her things, more importantly they wouldn’t have to lug the already wrapped Christmas presents over to her apartment. However, the short trial run she did when her Dad had informed her of his trip out west– left her with leaving five minutes to spare before she would be deemed late to work.

Which is why they were over at her dad’s place– grabbing the presents already wrapped for her and Clara beneath the tree and putting them into an old foldable wagon before putting them into her car and driving back into the city.

“Aunt Tori, are we taking Grandpa’s too?” Clara asked, calling out.

Tori put her phone back into her front pocket and walked out from the hall, over towards the decorated Christmas tree. “We can if you want. That way if he’s able to come home earlier, we can have him come over to the apartment and open his presents there.”

Clara looked at her and then back at the tree. “But then Grandpa will have to drive back here with his presents, right?”

“He could always sleep on the couch,” Tori shrugged.

Clara laughed before scrunching her nose. “He’s old though.” She looked back towards the tree and sighed. “We can just drive over here when he comes home, right? So we can be with him when he opens his presents?’

“I think that sounds like a great plan, Clara.”

“Okay, I’ll leave them then,” she said, putting down the present that she’d been holding. “I think I got all of ours though. I’m ready.”

Tori nodded and grabbed onto the handle of the wagon as she let Clara walk ahead of her and they left her childhood home, tugging the Christmas presents that she and her dad had bought Clara, along with some of the presents Clara and her dad had bought for her. Once she helped Clara carry the wagon down the front porch steps, she walked back to the front door and made sure it was locked before walking towards her car to help Clara put her presents into the trunk.

This wasn’t how she expected to be spending Christmas. If anything, she was planning on spending the week here with her dad and Clara at her childhood home, making new memories and reliving old traditions– the three of them opening their presents together on Christmas morning and watching movies on Christmas Eve.

But life had a crazy way of flipping things upside down a lot of the time, and this was just one more hurdle she had to overcome.

“We don’t need that many groceries, Clara. We’re just here for some quick necessities.”

“You have like, nothing in your fridge, Aunt Tori!” Clara whined, hanging onto the end of the cart. “It’s like you’re trying to starve me.”

Tori laughed, shaking her head as she put a carton of eggs into the cart. “I’m pretty sure you can go a week without the betty crocker cake mix. We’re just here to get some breakfast stuff, cookies for Santa, some carrots for the reindeer and then maybe we can find one of those gingerbread house making kits.”

Clara audibly groaned as she leaned her head back, acting more thirteen than she was near eight. Today was supposed to be the day that the four boys down the hall would help Tori and Clara move into their new two bedroom apartment just a floor above where they were staying now– however, seeing that the apartment wasn’t ready for them to move in just yet, it was instead just an errand day, seeing as Tori had already taken off of work. Leaving her with the responsibility of entertaining Clara for the whole day, especially since groceries was the only errand she could come up with.

It didn’t help that Clara had been spewing off a “what are we gonna do later?” question what felt like every fifteen minutes. What she didn’t want to do was keep Clara inside of the house and sit her in front of the tv all day. She wanted to take her to play in the snow, go sledding, maybe even ice skate– do fun things that she could report back to her second grade class once winter break was over. But aside from the rink and the local spot in her childhood neighborhood, Tori couldn’t think of any place they could go ice skating at, especially seeing as driving to and from her old hometown with holiday traffic wasn’t ideal.

“Aunt Tori, I thought you were fun,” Clara groaned, her tone echoing just the same as they were in the grocery store, only now they were standing in the apartment hall, just in front of her door as she fished for her keys from the depths of her purse.

“I am fun,” Tori huffed, digging her hands and moving around all the non important things she had shoved into the crossbody bag.

“That sounds like something someone boring would say.” Clara replied, leaning her right shoulder against the wall.

“Tori? Boring?” They looked down the hall to see Ryan Hartman walking down the hall. “You must have the wrong Tori, squirt.”

“Hi Ryan, Mason, Jordan and Kirill!” Clara smiled, perking up. “Did you guys do anything fun today?”

“Just practice,” Jordan replied, as the group of four came to a stop. “What about you?”

“Just grocery shopping,” Clara replied, looking at Tori. “Where someone wouldn’t buy the Betty Crocker cake mix.”

“You’ll survive,” Tori replied, moving the plastic bag further onto her arm so she could use two hands. “I just need to find the keys–”

“Here, Tori, let me help,” Kirill said, coming up and grabbing the plastic bags from off of her arm, holding them for her as he smiled and nodded. “Go ahead.”

“Well would you look at that boys,” Mason teased, patting Kirill on the shoulders. “What a gentleman.”

Tori tried not to tuck her chin into her chest too much and hoped that her warm cheeks weren’t turning pink as she nodded at Kirill. “Thanks, Kirill. My arm was killing me.”

She quickly found her keys in her purse and grabbed them, unlocking the front door and motioning for Clara to go inside. “Let them get back to their apartments and nap.”

“Oh great,” Clara sighed dramatically. “Now I get to be more bored and watch tv.”

“No plans?” Jordan asked, as Clara walked into the apartment.

“None that I can think of that aren’t back home. I spend every Christmas back there, I don’t know of anything happening around here.”

Jordan laughed, shaking his head. “Did you completely forget about the family skate they’re doing down at the rink later? The one’s for players and staff?”

Tori blinked, looking at the four of them. “Wasn’t that last week?”

“Try today in about two hours, Tor,” Ryan said. “We’re just grabbing lunch and then heading back.”

“CAN WE GO ICE SKATING AUNT TORI? I WANT TO GO!” Clara said, running back towards the door. “Please, please, please, please–”

“I– do you even know how to skate?”

“I can help!” Kirill chimed in, sheepishly smiling once he realized just how loud his interruption had been. “I don’t mind helping.”

“PLEASE AUNT TORI? PLEASSSEEEEEE–”

“Fine, fine,” Tori laughed, shaking her head as she took the bags from Kirill and playfully pointed at him. “But I’m counting on you not to let her fall if she turns out to be a total bambi.”

“I won’t.”

“Alright, so get ready, we’ll swing by in a few to pick you up and we’ll all head over together,” Ryan said, patting both of Kirill’s shoulders before the four men made their way down the hall to their apartments and Tori walked back into hers.

“This is gonna be so much fun, I can’t wait!” Clara squealed, running back to Tori’s bedroom. “I need to grab some thicker socks!”

Tori just sighed, shaking her head as she locked the door behind her and moved the groceries onto the kitchen island, prepared to unpack them before the boys came back.

It was funny. In all of her time working for the Wild, she’d never actually been to one of the family skates as a participant. Maybe once or twice to fill in and capture some stuff for their social media team– but even that was only just there for a few minutes and then she went back home. But now, now she was actively sitting in the bench surrounded by some of the team and staff’s family who were either choosing not to skate or were caring for little ones who weren’t going onto the ice– while the players and the staff who chose to skate with their family members, were out gliding around on the ice ahead of her.

She was leaning against the edge of the bench arena watching out for Clara as Kirill had stuck to his word and stayed with her to make sure that she wouldn’t fall down and hurt herself. Tori knew that Clara had been skating a few times before, but she wasn’t sure how she would be able to handle being out by herself or her skating abilities at all. And Tori would be lying if she said that watching Kirill holding onto Clara’s hands and skating backwards as he pulled her along, didn’t make her weak in the knees. Being the kindhearted guy she knew he was, he was probably telling her words of encouragement as they moved around the rink and every so often when he would let her hands go, he would be cheering her on to catch up to him.

Kirill has always been the kind, gentle guy he is, since she met him his rookie season. And while she hadn’t originally seen herself falling for the brown eyed boy’s nature…she couldn’t help but do so. Anytime they saw each other at the rink, he’d always make sure to say hi and talk to her. Even if they didn’t cross paths, it seemed like he would actively go out of his way to pass by her and Kaia’s office to say hi. In the interviews she got to run, he was always more than eager to play into whatever she had planned– more so than any of the most playful guys on the team.

Perhaps the one thing that hooked her onto him the most, was when there were home games…he’d always meet her at her office or wait for her in the parking garage to get to her car before driving back to their apartment complex with her– just so he could walk her to her door and say goodnight. He was a gentleman, that was for sure. And Tori has been trying so hard not to let herself fall for him, because he was one of her closest friends.

However, it was proving very, very difficult and the only thing keeping her from totally falling for him, was the realization that he had yet to make a move– the confident, kind, hockey player…hadn’t even done as much as try to hold her hand on their walk out of the elevator and down their hall to their respective apartments.

“Hey Tori,” Kirill said, coming to a stop just next to her on the other side of the ice. “Why not come out and skate, hm?”

“What? Did you lose Clara?” She laughed, trying not to let herself melt into his warm and welcoming eyes.

He laughed, shaking his head before looking out onto the ice for a few seconds and then pointing out across the way. “She left me. She’s a lot better of a skater than she said. Fast learner too.”

“And now you need a skating buddy?”

“Mhhm, so come on, what do you say?” He asked, leaning against the boards and smiling. “What’s Clara do? Oh yeah, please, please, please, please–”

Tori covered his mouth as she laughed and shook her head. “Okay, fine, fine, I’ll skate with you.”

He moved slowly down to the bench gate as Tori awkwardly walked on her rented skates and when she reached the open door, Kirill held out his hand for her to take. The small action actually caused her heart to thump against her chest and she stared at his hand before reaching out and grabbing it, allowing him to take her cold hand into his warm one.

“Do I need to teach you too?” He teased, still holding onto her hand as she balanced on the ice and pushed away from the boards.

“Ha ha, no,” she replied, rolling her eyes and not wanting to drop his hand– but also wanting to prove to him that he was just as good a skater. “You might not know this about me, but I did figure skating growing up.”

His eyes widened as he started to quicken his pace to follow her. “Really?”

“No,” she laughed, looking over her shoulder and smiling at him. “But, we did go ice skating sometimes. So I’ve picked up a few things when I was younger.” She turned herself around, slowly starting to skate backwards as she kept up her pace. “See?”

“You’re the best out here,” he laughed. “How’s Christmas shopping going?”

“I think my dad and I have gotten Clara just about everything she asked for,” she replied, turning herself back around and somehow keeping herself balanced. “The only thing I can’t find is this like, DIY living room tent thing? I don’t know, it’s something she saw on youtube and it’s like a cute tent she can put up with some lights and stuff.”

“Is that what she really wants?” He asked, looking concerned.

Tori nodded, bringing out her phone. “Yeah, she had it highlighted under both her birthday list and Christmas list.” She pulled up safari which opened up the link to the tent, handing him her phone. “I’ve looked at just about every retail store, Amazon, their website…and I guess I keep missing the restocks or something because I’ve had no luck.”

Kirill looked at her phone, and he noticed him scrolling, probably trying to read and look at the product. “Want me to help?”

“No, no that’s okay,” she replied, taking her phone as he handed it back and putting it into her front pocket. “I’m sure they’ll restock it after Christmas and I’ll find a way to grab it then.” 

“Hi Aunt Tori, hi Kirill, look at me!” Clara smiled, skating by them at a faster pace.

“Please be careful!” Tori called out, her plea falling on deaf ears as she slowly turned herself back to skating backwards. “She’s so cocky, I don’t know where she gets it from.”

“No?” Kirill laughed, raising his eyebrows.

“Totally a lie, she gets it from Jess and I. We were best friends, but we always used to compete at who was the best,” she smiled, starting to freely move backwards and getting a little more comfortable. “Jess could never really get the whole skating backwards thing, but me? Nailed it easily. You can tell too, can’t you?

“You could be on the team,” he smiled, staying close as he skated by her side.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” she said, brushing off her shoulder. “Wouldn’t want to take your job–oh!” 

She felt her skate hit a ridge, knocking her off balance and sending her falling backwards to the ice. She fully expected to make contact with the cold ice, even preparing herself for trying not to hit her head…but her body never met the cold ground. She looked up to see Kirill standing there…no, holding her– he’d caught her from hitting the ground.

“You okay?” He asked, looking down at her as he had her in his firm and secure grasp.

Tori nodded, trying her best to laugh it off as if her heart wasn’t racing inside of her chest. “I guess I’m still a little bit rusty.”

“Not too bad,” he smiled, helping her hand back up and then standing in front of her. “But maybe I should help you like I helped Clara, yeah?”

He held out both of his hands and Tori found herself thanking the cold environment for hiding the fact that her cheeks weren’t red from the cold, but from the blushing she had going on. She nodded and reached out, grabbing onto both of his hands and smiled. “Yeah, I could use a lot of it. You won’t let go, right?”

Her last comment was meant to be a little teasing, but deep down inside, she was asking him not to let go of her hands because she enjoyed holding them– feeling the callouses from years of playing hockey against her soft palms.

Kirill shook his head, still smiling. “I won’t let you go.”

Tori never expected she’d have to go into the office while the team was on a two game roadie, but there she was, trudging into the office during a snowfall while Clara tagged along, practically bouncing her way down the halls as she took in the sights of the stadium. The one thing that Tori always loved about kids and hockey, was that it was always as if they were seeing the stadium and the halls and the decorative wallpaper with players and history past and present…for the first time. It was also just so magical to them, which reminded her to never lose that spark for her job.

Kaia had come in earlier, which is why Tori knew she needed to. There was some files that Kaia couldn’t locate on her work computer that had to do with their upcoming plans for interviews after the holidays and Tori knew they were on hers– the only problem was that her computer was in her office– not home with her. It was a simple fix, all she’d need to do was grab her laptop, check the files were on there and email them to Kaia before taking her laptop home with her.

Clara wanted to see everything though, because she’d never seen what Tori’s office was like. No one was there, so Tori let her look around the office and then as they were leaving, they passed one of the equipment managers who had stayed home on the trip and once Tori told him she was giving Clara a tour, he offered to let them take a look around the locker room.

It was nothing but excitement once they walked into the decorated locker room, Tori having been in there once or twice before, but never realizing just how huge it was when there were twenty some guys lounging around. Clara went on the search for the lockers of the four men from down the hall, sitting in each one and asking Tori to take a picture so she could send it to them. And when she did, she was greeted with lots of laughing emojis and a few “is she trying to take my job?” comments.

But once they were on their way home, Tori knew that they could relax for the rest of the day. Maybe order in some chinese and watch whatever it was on tv that Clara wanted to watch– Christmas movies or not. Once they parked, Tori felt her pocket vibrate and pulled out her phone to see she had a text from Barb saying that she had a package up at the front desk.

“Quick detour, Clara, we’ve got to pick something up at the front desk first,” Tori said, putting her phone back into her pocket and taking a left in the parking garage towards the door that would lead into the lobby of the apartment building versus the elevator to take them to their floor.

Barb was sitting at the computer behind the counter and immediately greeted them with a smile once she saw them. “Perfect timing,” she said, coming around the corner of the desk. “This just got dropped off about five minutes ago with the rest of the amazon deliveries.”

“Amazon?” Tori asked, furrowing her eyebrows. “I don’t remember ordering anything…”

“Maybe it’s from Grandpa!” Clara smiled. “A last minute present!”

“Maybe,” Tori said, taking the long box and realizing it did have her name on it. “Hm, we’ll just go upstairs and I’ll open it in my room to see what it is. Thanks again, Barb.”

“Of course, you two have a good rest of your day. Warm up a bit, your noses are red.”

“Bye Mrs. Barb,” Clara waved, now carrying Tori’s computer bag over her shoulder as they made their way towards the elevator, Tori trying not to struggle carrying the long box.

“Are you sureeee I can’t look at it?” Clara smiled as the elevator started to move.

“I’m sure,” Tori replied, smiling back. “It’s too close to your birthday and Christmas for you to open anything.”

Clara huffed as the elevator doors opened and they walked out into the hallway, making their way to the apartment door. Once Tori unlocked the door and nudged it open with her foot, Clara walked inside, resting the computer bag onto the island counter. “I’ll be right here, not looking at my present.”

“You do that,” Tori laughed, closing and locking the door behind her before making her way down the hall to her bedroom and locking that door behind her as well. She placed the box onto the floor and walked into her bathroom, grabbing a pair of scissors she had to trim the candles along her bathtub and walking back into the room, kneeling onto the ground.

She had stopped a majority of her Christmas shopping last week, anything she bought now was just some small stuff she figured that Clara would like that could go into her stocking, so she couldn’t imagine what was in this box, because as far as she knew, she didn’t have anything out for delivery. When she lifted the open edges of the box, her jaw dropped…it was the tent she’d been searching for for weeks– the only thing is…she didn’t order it.

But who did?

She grabbed the box and opened her bedroom door, walking out into the living room where Clara was on the couch. “Alright, I’ll let you open this one present before your birthday. But just this one, got it?”

Clara smiled, jumping off of the couch and running over as Tori put the box down onto the ground. She squealed in excitement once she saw what was in the box, throwing the sides open and reaching in to grab it. “Oh my God, Aunt Tori!!!! It’s the tent!!!!” She smiled, looking up at her. “Can we please clear some space so we can open it? Pretty please, please, please, please?”

“Of course,” Tori laughed, helping her take the box out of the amazon box and smiling. “Just give me a minute and we’ll clear out a space for it.”

She walked over to the island counter, resting the box against it when she saw her phone lit up with a text from Kirill.

Kirill 🐻: I see you got the amazon delivery. Was that the right one?

Her eyes widened as she looked over her shoulder to see Clara still admiring the box the tent came in. SHe walked further into the kitchen and kept her back to Clara as she clicked on his contact and opened up a facetime call. It only rang a few times before he answered it, his smiling face appearing on the screen. “Hey–”

“You bought it? But how did you– where did you–” Tori was speechless.

“I remembered you showing it to me at family skate,” he said, laying down in the hotel bed he was at. “I looked for it and I must’ve been lucky because they restocked it on Amazon that night, so I ordered it and paid for express shipping.”

“Kirill, I…” she sighed, shaking her head. “I don’t know how to say thank you, but–”

“You don’t need to,” he replied, shaking his head. “I saw you were stressed about it and I wanted to help. I like seeing you happy…Clara too,” he smiled.

Tori smiled, nodding her head. “Thank you so, so much. You just made her birthday I’m sure.” She looked over her shoulder at Clara. “Clara, come say thank you to Kirill for finding the tent.”

Clara ran over and in an instant, appeared right by Tori’s side and into the frame. “Kirill, you’re the best and you’re my favorite person in the whole entire world!” She squealed, jumping up and down.

Kirill laughed, shaking his head. “Can I see the tent when we get back home?”

“Duh!” Clara smiled. “You’ll be the first guest besides Aunt Tori! Unless you guys want to see it together.”

“Go unpack your text,” Tori replied, rolling her eyes and nudging Clara out of the kitchen. “Kirill, I really can’t express how much this means to her…and to me.”

“You don’t need too, just as long as it makes you both happy,” he said, sitting up in the bed. “I need to go now, got to get ready for the bus ride to the arena.”

“Good luck tonight, score a goal or two, hm?” She smiled, wrapping her left around around her waist.

Kirill laughed, nodding his head. “Make it two, one for you one for Clara.” She felt the butterflies liven in her stomach when he said it, still smiling. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye Kirill, good luck.”

“WAIT,” he said, appearing back in the frame. “Before I go, I wanted to know if um…” he cleared his throat, appearing a little nervous. “If you wanted to be my date for the Christmas Party…or we can go as friends–”

She felt her heart pound against her chest at the mention of that one word– date. She smiled, nodding her head. “A date will be nice,” she spoke softly.

Kirill lit up, his smile big as he nodded. “Okay, great, I’ll talk to you later then! Bye.”

She hung up the phone call, biting onto her bottom lip as she brought her phone up beneath her chin and tried to stop herself from smiling so big. She couldn’t wrap her mind around just how he had been searching for the tent after she told him how she was really wanting to buy it for Clara since it was the thing she wanted most. He didn’t have to do that…but he did, because he wanted Clara to be happy just as much as she did.

“Aunt Tori, come on,” Clara said, standing up in the living room. “I’ve got it unpacked!”

Tori laughed, nodding her head. “Alright, we’ve got a tent to build.”

She went to put her phone down onto the counter, seeing it light up one more time with a text from Kirill.

Kirill 🐻: Can’t wait! 😊

If it was up to Tori, she would bring Clara along with her to the Wild Christmas Party tonight. Clara was a social girl, she seemed to love Ryan, Kirill, Mason and Jordan, and she knew there was no doubt in her mind that she would also get along with the rest of the players and staff she’d meet at the party. However, the party would go pretty late into the evening and keeping her up that late, even though she was on Christmas break didn’t exactly scream ‘I’m a responsible guardian.’ Even though she remembered all the times on holidays where her parents let her and Jess stay up late (and she thought they were great parents), this was something she was new at and she was too scared to mess it up– even over something so incredibly small.

So, she called up Maddie, her old childhood best friend and college roommate who Clara knows well, seeing as Maddie was close to Jess too, and asked if maybe she’d be able to babysit Clara for a few hours while Tori was just minutes down the road in one of the ballrooms at the St. Paul Hotel.

Once the two had left the arena after her brief stop into the office to check her emails, they went out to breakfast and then went shopping. Any and every store that Clara had wanted to stop in, Tori never said no. She wanted the day to be a good one. One where they stopped at Starbucks and got Clara a lemon loaf and a hot chocolate while she got herself a cake pop and a hot chocolate as well. Sipping and snacking on their drinks while they went to target and they took turns pointing out what they hoped Santa would bring for them– Tori taking pictures whenever Clara wasn’t looking so she knew what she could send an order out for tomorrow and have someone swing by and pick it up when she had the chance.

And when they came home, they sat down at the small kitchen table with their to-go lunches they grabbed from a panera down the street and sat down together to eat. Tori listened while Clara talked about which Christmas movies they should watch. How she relived telling her the play-by-play of the day she, Tori and the boys went ice skating three days prior. And when lunch was over, Clara sat in the living room watching Julie and the Phantoms (again) on Netflix while Tori took a quick shower, getting dressed into some light pajamas before walking out and checking on Clara.

“Everything okay here?” She asked, towel drying her hair. “Do you need anything?”

“I’m good,” Clara replied, looking over at her. “What are you doing?”

“I’m gonna do my hair and put on some make-up,” Tori replied, softly squeezing the water out of the ends of her hair.

Clara perked up on the arm of the couch, a small smile on her face. “Can I help?”

Tori smiled, draping her towel over her arm. “You want to?” Clara nodded, pushing herself up onto her knees and Tori just nodded her over. “Alright, let’s go to my bathroom.”

Clara jumped off of the couch and ran over to her brushing by and going down the short hall before making a left into Tori’s bedroom. Tori just laughed as she followed behind, walking into her bedroom and then going into her conjoining bathroom where Clara was leaning against the sink.

“Once I’m done blow drying my hair, what do you think I should do? Curl it or straighten it?” She asked, grabbing her blow dryer and plugging it into an outlet.

“Hm…” Clara squinted as she focused on her. “Straighten! You already have curly hair.”

“I have waves,” Tori laughed, looking down at Clara. “Your mom got the curls from our mom, your Grandma Clara.”

She spoke before she thought about how mentioning Jess might affect Clara. It was just so natural for the words to come out, she couldn’t help it. She felt guilty when she thought she saw a flicker of sadness wash across Clara’s hazel eyes– her father’s eyes– before she just walked over and sat down on the edge of the tub.

“Can I play music on your phone while you dry your hair?” She asked, kicking her feet. Tori nodded and picked up her phone, handing it to Clara after she synced it with her bluetooth speaker that was set up in her bathroom. “Any requests?”

“Whatever your little Christmas loving heart desires,” Tori smiled, getting ready to turn the blow dryer on before turning back towards Clara, pointing the dryer at her. “Except the hippopotamus song, that’s my ultimate crossing the line song.”

“You’re no fun,” Clara replied, rolling her eyes before looking back down at the phone, her small fingers scrolling up the phone screen in search for a song to play.

Tori had to point out that she had a Christmas playlist on Spotify, ultimately finding it for her and then letting Clara pick whatever songs she wanted to play from the list as she blow dried her hair. The two of them sang along to all of the classics even as Tori switched from blow drying her hair to straightening it.

The both of them burst into song with smiles on their faces once Mariah Carey’s classic, ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ came on, and though the memories of her and Jess doing the very same thing when they were younger flooded her mind, seeing Clara sing her little heart out, belting the notes at the top of her lungs, was enough to wipe away the sad afterthought just long enough for Tori to finish straightening her hair.

“Are you sure about the gold eyeshadow? You don’t think it’s too much?” Tori asked, looking away from her small portable mirror and  turning to face the soon to be eight-year-old.

“I think it brings out your eyes,” Clara replied, swinging her sitting besides Tara on the floor, using the small bathtub carpet to place the make-up she had placed just in front of her to ‘help figure out our options.’ “You guys have pretty eyes…” Clara paused and then looked back down at the make-up containers in front of her. “Had, I guess.”

Tori swallowed the knot in her throat, wanting to comfort the sadness that Clara was feeling, but even her correction into a past tense had been so soft, Tori wandered if acknowledging it was going to be the right thing to do. “Well I think you have the prettiest eyes.”

“They’re alright,” Clara shrugged, picking up a lip pencil. “They’re just brown.”

“They’re hazel,” Tori corrected, putting down the liquid golden eyeshadow after closing the tube. “And even if they were just brown, they’re still beautiful. Brown eyes are like…” she paused, trying not to let herself picture the moment at ice skating when she almost embarrassed herself falling down and Kirill caught her fall. “They’re warm and sometimes when they’re really brown, they’ve got this depth in them…like that person’s got all of the secrets in the world hidden behind their eyes. And when the light catches them? Magical. It’s like they can change a multitude of shades and–”

Clara was smiling, catching Tori off guard. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because you have a crussshhhhh,” Clara sang, handing Tori the pencil. “And it’s on Kirilllllll.”

“I do not,” Tori scoffed, taking the pencil and looking at the shade before uncapping it, shaking her head. “I do not, nope.”

“Yes you do,” Clara giggled, sitting up from her butt and onto the backs of her heels. “And you know how I know? Because he has brown eyes and you went all,” she fluttered her eyelashes and smiled, cupping her hands beneath her face as if she was playing a lovesick girl in a movie. “When talking about brown eyes.”

Tori laughed, turning her focus back to the mirror to apply her lip liner. “Just because he has brown eyes and I romanticized them to make YOU feel better, doesn’t mean I have a crush on Kirill. Now find me a shade of lipstick, my little make-up guru.”

Ever like her mother, Clara rolled her eyes at Tori’s playoff of the all too real situation that she’d brought up. But crushing on the guy just down the hall wasn’t really something she wanted her niece to call her out on. It was bad enough that it had been something Jess had picked up on last year when she and Steven had a date night to a game and met her afterwards.

And it didn’t help that Tori had always been the kind of girl who let the smallest of moments and things turn into the biggest when it came to love and things like it. Thoughts always spent a little extra time in her head and her brain would spin them and turn them into special butterfly inducing memories until her feelings were almost as big as the heart her mom always told her she had and one that “anyone would be lucky to have love them.” The absolute last thing that she needed was for her brain to spin the small moments, big moments, and every funny tik tok, simple text or wave from Kirill, into something butterfly inducing. The absolute, very, very, VERY last thing she needed…was to have feelings for the kindhearted, brown-eyed boy down the hall.

Or, you know, that she needed to acknowledge them. Because she knew deep down that there were feelings there for him, small or large she didn’t know. She didn’t want to allow herself to feel those, when she wasn’t even sure about whether or not him having similar feelings for her were possible.

“Aunt Tori,” Clara said, waving the lipstick in front of her face. “How’s this shade?”

Tori cleared her throat, removing herself from her inner thoughts before looking at the perfect match of a shade of red lipstick and smiling. “It’s perfect. I should just have you do my make-up from now on, that way I can sit back and relax while you do all the work.”

“Only if you boost my allowance up to $10,” she said, standing up and brushing off her pants.

“Only if you actually do your chores,” Tori replied, carefully applying her lipstick onto her top lip before blotting it with the bottom.

Clara extended her hand out, nodding. “Deal.”

Tori laughed and shook her hand before returning back to applying her lipstick, Clara coming over with a folded up piece of toilet paper before she even had to ask. “Do you just watch those beauty youtubers all the time?”

“Mainly tiktok, but sometimes I watch youtube. I’m gonna go get a snack.”

“Okay, I’ll be out there in a bit,” she replied, capping her lipstick and blotting using the toilet paper. She collected the makeup from beside her and put it all back into the storage where it belonged before standing up and putting her make-up all back onto her bathroom counter.

She took a step back from the counter, moving her hair off of her shoulders and towards her back as she took in the job that she and Clara had done together. She was still getting used to the way her curtain bangs were framing her face, knowing that Jess would be right over her shoulder and telling her that she knew she’d second guess getting the hairstyle. That was the thing though, she wasn’t sure if she did second guess getting it…she just liked the idea of being able to hear her older sister tease her in the back of her mind.

Besides, Clara, her dad and Kirill said that they liked her hair. Though perhaps Kirill’s approval was right up there with Clara’s– almost a close second.

Tori turned off the bathroom light and walked into her bedroom, going over to her walk-in closet and opening the door, not even needing to turn on the light to know where her dress for tonight was at. She’d hung it just next to the door the moment after she’d washed it…the same day she bought it. She’s been excited to wear it from the moment she saw it on a random shopping trip during her lunch break with Kaia. It wasn’t anything extravagant, but it was a dress that when she jokingly tried it on…she felt different in it.

She imagined, as she stood there in that dressing room with the lights illuminating her closed stall, that this feeling…whatever it was, was what her mom had talked about when she and Jess were growing up. That one day, when they were engaged and wedding dress shopping, that it would be nothing like shopping for homecoming dresses or prom dresses was going to be. That the dress, would make them feel like they were the most beautiful person in the room. Her mom was right, she and Jess never felt that way shopping for their homecoming or prom dresses– but she knew Jess had felt that moment the day she, after trying on what felt like every dress in the bridal shop, tried on the dress she would wear when she walked down the aisle to Steve.

Granted, Tori hadn’t bought her dress while preparing for her wedding, but the way she suddenly saw herself in a different light as the deep green, sparkly velvet material hugged her body as if it were made just for her. Feeling the soft material cut in an A-line on her chest and flare out into a skater dress just at her mid thigh, she stood there so long in that dressing room admiring the way the dress looked, that Kaia had knocked on the door saying “the dress can’t be that bad.”

And it wasn’t, because the moment Tori walked out of the dressing room, Kaia told her to turn right back around and change because, “you are so buying that dress.”

She grabbed the hanger, bringing the dress out of her closet and then walking towards her bed as she laid it down on top of her comforter. She changed out of her sweatpants and tank top and grabbed the dress, sliding the material off of it’s hanger and stepping into the dress, the material hugging against her body, feeling the velvet against the palms of her hands as she rubbed her hands down the stress, flattening out any wrinkles. Also in her closet, were the shoes she was going to wear tonight as well.

“What, Clara?” She called out, swearing she heard Clara’s voice. She bent down and quickly slid on each heel before making her way out of her bedroom and down the short hallway, eventually coming into her shared living and dining rooms.

“I said, Maddie’s here,” Clara replied, walking over towards the couch and sitting down next to Maddie.

“You answered the door?” Tori asked, eyes wide as she walked over to the small island counter where she had set down the purse she was going to use tonight, was. “I know for a fact that you were taught not to answer the door–”

“For strangers,” Clara replied, shrugging. “I got a chair and looked through the peephole to see who it was. Maddie’s not a stranger, so I answered it.”

Tori sighed, shaking her head. “Okay, technically she’s not a stranger, but you should’ve come back and told me that Maddie was here before opening the door. For all you know she could be on one of her crazy trips and rob us blind.”

Maddie rolled her eyes as she sipped on her Starbucks refresher. “Ha ha, very funny. Mind you, I’m here aren’t I?”

“Yes and thank you for that,” Tori replied, grabbing her small clutch and making sure she had transferred everything over that she’d need for tonight.

“Yeah, yeah, what are besties for, now come over here so we can see the final look.” Maddie said, waving her over. “Full on fashion show like the ones we used to do in fifth grade.”

This time, Tori rolled her eyes as she put the clutch back down onto the island and walked into the living room. “Do I really–”

Maddie held her hand up, shaking her head. “I said, fashion show. So strut.”

Clara laughed, sitting up on her knees in excitement as they both had their eyes on Tori, who was giving into the demands and like when she was a kid, put on her best “supermodel” runway walk and walked into the living room, doing a twirl and then playfully flipping her hair over her shoulder before stopping in front of them and sighing, shrugging her arms. “So? Thoughts?”

Maddie looked at Clara and then leaned over, cupping her ear and whispering as Clara shook her head and then nodded, her face going through a whole slew of emotions before finally nodding again. Maddie sat up straight and the two looked at each other before Clara looked back at Tori and smiled. 

“We think you look hot.”

Tori laughed, throwing her head back just barely as she shook her head. “Well thank you, but hot should not be in your vocabulary yet. Wait until you’re like…I don’t know, 18.”

“18?! But that’s forever!” Clara whined, falling back against the couch. ���14.”

A knock on the door interrupted what Tori was going to say as she pointed at Clara. “We’ll talk about it later.” She walked towards the door, already knowing who was going to be on the other side since this was about the time that they agreed in their group chat to meet up so they could all travel to the party together.

“Hey guy…oh, hi” she expected to see Ryan, Kirill, Mason and Jordan, along with three of their dates she knew were tagging along. But instead…it was only Kirill standing at her front door, dressed very nice in a black suit that had gold trim, along with a dark gray shirt underneath. 

And he was wearing the hell out of the suit.

“Hi,” he spoke, clearing his throat soon after as he pointed his thumb down the hall. “The guys sent me here. We’re ready to go, are you?”

“I am,” she nodded, trying not to focus on the way she could see his eyes taking in her dress. “I just um,” she looked over her shoulder. “Need to grab my purse…come on in.”

“Thanks,” he nodded, sucking in his lips as he kept his hands in his pockets and walked into her apartment, closing the door behind him.

“Hi Kirill!” Clara said, standing up from the couch and walking over. “What’s with the funny suit?”

Kirill smiled as he held out his fist for her to bump. “Funny suit?”

Clara giggled as she shook her head. “You’re just really dressed up! I only ever see you wearing jeans and stuff.”

“Oh,” he replied, looking a little embarrassed as Tori turned around. “A Christmas party. I’m picking up Tori.”

“Mhhm and now we’re getting ready to leave, so please be on your best behavior for Maddie,” Tori said, draping the chain of her clutch purse over her shoulder and pointing to Maddie. “And no obscene amount of sugar after eight.”

“No fun,” Maddie replied, waving at Kirill. “Hey Kirill, take care of our girl tonight please. No shenanigans.”

“Shenanigans?” He asked, looking at Tori, his cheeks tinting pink as he looked for a translation.

“No pranks, practical jokes,” Tori replied, shaking her head. “Ignore her.” She turned back towards Clara bending down to her level and holding out her pinky finger. “Promise to be on your best behavior?”

“You’re leaving?” Clara asked, her eyebrows furrowing as she looked between Tori and Kirill.

Tori nodded, adjusting her clutch chain, going to kiss the top of Clara’s head. “Just down the street to the team Christmas party. I promise I’ll be back–”

“No!” Clara yelled, backing herself away from the affectionate moment.

The three adults stood there in shock at the way the personable and bubbly, but often quiet, Clara raised her voice so defiantly.

“No, you can’t go!” Tori could see the way Clara’s face began to crumble and knew she was only moments away from crying. “If you go, you won’t come back! My mommy and daddy didn’t!”

Tori stepped towards Clara, ready to comfort the now crying child. “Clara–” Just as she went to get down to her level, Clara spun around on her heels and ran back towards the only bedroom of the apartment– Tori’s– slamming the door shut behind her.

The silence was loud and heavy as she stared down the hall, the most outrageous part expecting her for Clara to come back out laughing– that it was all a joke. But the big part of her, the one that knew Clara was genuinely upset, scared even…that part tugged at her heart, causing an ache so deep that it didn’t take her a second to turn around to face Kirill.

“I’m sorry,” she spoke, shaking her head as she took her clutch off of her shoulder. “I can’t go tonight. I can’t–” she looked back over her shoulder, shaking her head as she looked back at him. “I can’t leave her like this.

She couldn’t tell what exactly it was that he was feeling– confused at what went down, sad that she was bailing, concerned for Clara or maybe even a little scared at the outburst– but like he always did, he put on that small, comforting smile that always gave her the biggest of butterflies, and nodded his head.

“I’ll let the guys know.” He walked back to her door, opening it as she followed behind him. He turned back around, his eyes looking just past her and over her shoulder. “Tell Clara I hope she’s okay.”

Tori leaned against the door, nodding. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Again, I’m sorry. I know–”

“It’s okay, Tori.” He replied, still smiling as she rocked back on his heels. “See you later.”

She waved as she watched him walk back down the hall towards his room most likely to grab the rest of their group before looking back into her apartment and sighing, nodding at Maddie. “You should probably go too.”

Maddie nodded, getting up off of the couch and collecting her things off of the island counter before coming over to Tori, not hesitating a single moment before wrapping her arms around her and hugging her. “It’s not your fault.”

“I didn’t–” Tori paused, as Maddie pulled back and she looked down the hallway. “I should’ve known she’d get upset and I didn’t think about that.” She took a deep breath, exhaling as she looked back at Maddie, feeling the tears burn in her eyes. “Jess would’ve known what to do. She would’ve known–”

“Hey, don’t get down on yourself, Tor,” Maddie said, holding onto Tori’s arms. “This…all of this is new to you, but you’ve done a hell of a job so far. No one expects you to be perfect, okay? You had one slip up and even then…you’re doing your damndest. You’re canceling your plans to make sure that Clara is okay.”

Maddie reached up and cupped her face, gaining her attention as she looked into her eyes. “You’re trying, Tori. You’re trying and you’re learning…and that’s all Jess and Steven both would have wanted.”

Tori nodded, hugging Maddie again before pulling away. “Thank you.”

“You know I’ll always be here for you,” she smiled, walking out of her apartment door. “And send me that receipt for your Target order, I’ll swing by and pick it up tomorrow. Love you Tor.”

“Love you too, Mads,” Tori replied, waiting until she saw Maddie get into the elevator before closing and locking her apartment door for the night.

She took a few deep breaths as she took off her shoes and placed her purse back onto the counter before making her way back down the hall, coming to a stop in front of her bedroom door. She raised her fist, holding it there for a few spare moments before knocking on the door. “Clara?”

Tori pressed her ear against the door, hearing her fan on the other side of the door blowing, but not a peep from Clara. She knocked again, keeping her ear against the door. “Clara, can you come out please? Or let me in?”

Still silence and Tori was starting to feel defeated as she exhaled and let her body fully lean against the door. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about the party. I…I didn’t even think about,” she paused, unsure of how to say the idea that maybe Clara would have some kind of reservations about Tori going to a party, without making it seem as if she wasn’t considering her feelings. “I’m sorry that I made you upset, that’s the last thing I ever want to do.”

“I sent Maddie and Kirill home, so it’s just gonna be me and you tonight.” She crossed her arms, focusing on the sounds from the other side of the door. “And I don’t know about you, but I’m kind of hungry…so I think I’m gonna order a pizza. If you want some, just let me know.”

The one thing that she learned between her Dad and Clara’s therapist, was that she needed to let Clara come to terms with things on her own time. Not to force her to talk about it before she was ready or ignore it when the time came. If she had questions, then it was okay to answer them until Clara either started to look uncomfortable or stop asking questions altogether. So that’s what she was going to do, she held out her olive branch of a pizza offering and was going to sit in the living room and wait until Clara hopefully would leave the room and join her.

Tori had ordered the pizza on her phone and sat down onto the couch, leaning back into the warm material as she stared at the “are you still watching?” Netflix screen. It was only a few minutes after she placed the order for pizza when she heard her bedroom door open from down the hall, Clara appearing at the end of the hall a couple of seconds later.

“You still want to watch Julie and the Phantoms?” Tori asked, nodding towards the tv screen.

Clara nodded, keeping quiet as she slowly made her way over to the couch and sat down right beside Tori, immediately curling herself up against her side. “Why didn’t you go to the Christmas party?”

Tori shrugged, reaching up and brushing Clara’s hair back as she continued to play the show. “You were upset and I didn’t want to leave you behind,” she replied, looking down at her. “Besides, hanging out with you is a lot more fun than going to a fancy Christmas party.”

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Clara spoke softly, resting her head against Tori’s chest. “I just–”

“Sh, you don’t have to apologize, Clara,” Tori replied, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. “I know.”

They sat there for a relaxed moment before Clara looked up at Tori, pouting. “But now you’re all dressed up and pretty…”

Tori smiled, sitting up straight. “How about we change over into some pj’s, then I can do your hair and make-up and after that, we’ll clean it all up and have a spa night like your mom and I used to have with our mom?”

Clara perked up and nodded, a smile on her face. “Okay!” She scrambled off of the couch and headed towards the hall. “Face masks too?”

“Of course,” Tori scoffed, standing up off of the couch and following behind her, holding onto the hand Clara had outstretched towards her. “We’ll go all out, I promise.”

And they did.

After changing into some comfortable pajamas, Tori rounded up all of the spa stuff she had available in her bathroom and they walked back out into living room area with spa and make-up stuff in hand. Just like when Clara was helping Tori get ready, she had picked out all of the colors she wanted to wear, and Tori would apply it. She opted for having her hair curled and once it came down to make-up. And to no surprise, Clara had handed Tori the golden eyeshadow she had picked out for her earlier in the evening, when Tori had asked what eyeshadow she wanted.

“With as knowledgeable as you are about make-up, I give it until you’re 12 to be better at it than me,” Tori joked, carefully applying the finishing touches on the eyeshadow. “I was never this good at make-up, I only learned a little in high school and then a little more in college.”

Clara kept her eyes closed as Tori shut the eyeshadow pallet and then grabbed the eyeliner. “I like watching youtube and tik toks,” she said, sitting still as Tori began applying the eyeliner. “Plus I really liked watching my mom do her make-up, she looked really pretty.”

Tori smiled softly, nodding her head even though Clara couldn’t see. “Your mom was always very pretty.”

Silence settled over as Tori carefully applied the eyeliner to Clara’s top lid before having her open her eyes so she could apply it to the waterline. Words were none even as she put the eyeliner down and then grabbed the mascara, even more carefully applying it so she didn’t accidentally poke Clara in the eye.

“All right, you’re all done,” she smiled, putting the mascara tube down and grabbing the make-up mirror that she’d brought out from the bathroom and held it in front of Clara. “What do you think?”

Clara scooted closer to the mirror, turning her face side to side as she even played with the curls of her chestnut colored hair. “Do I look like my mom?” She asked, looking up at Tori with a softened expression.

“I–“ a knock on the door interrupted Tori’s reply, signaling that hopefully the pizza was here. “That must be the pizza.”

Tori got up off of the floor and walked over to the front door, peeping through the peephole and seeing the pizza delivery man. She opened the door, making small conversation as she was handed the receipt to sign before finally wishing the delivery man a good night and taking the pizza, closing the door behind her and walking into the kitchen as Clara walked in. They grabbed some plates and each put two slices of pizza and a cheesy breadstick onto their plate before Clara took their plates into the living room while Tori grabbed them each a cup of water to drink.

When they settled back into the living room and sat on the floor, Tori noticed the small silence that was still there as Clara started to eat her pizza and focus on the Hannah Montana episode that was playing on Disney+. She knew it was most likely because she’d never gotten the answer to her question since the pizza had been delivered and so Tori put her pizza back down onto her plate and turned towards Clara.

“You do look like your mom,” she said, watching as her response took a few seconds before it sunk into Clara’s focus that she had said something.

“I do?” Clara asked, her bite of pizza still in her mouth as she quickly chewed it and swallowed. “Or are you just saying that?”

“No, you do,” Tori smiled, nodding her head. “You have her hair, especially now with the curls–“

“But we curled it…”

“Your mom’s hair didn’t get curlier until she was 14, before that, her hair was straight just like yours. You have her nose and her cheeks,” she smiled, scooting closer to Clara. “You have your dad’s eyes and his dimple, but your smile,” she reached out and gently poked right by the outside corner of Clara’s left eye. “You definitely have your mom’s smile, it reaches up into your eyes.”

Clara smiled and just like she said, for a moment, Tori could see a glimpse of Jess just in her smile alone. “Thanks Aunt Tori.” She sighed, picking her pizza up again. “I’m sorry for ruining your date with Kirill.”

Tori laughed, shaking her head. “It wasn’t really a date…I was just his date to the party is all. And besides,” she nudged Clara, smiling. “I think we’re having more fun doing this than I would at a party.”

“Even if it meant you couldn’t go on your date?” She frowned.

Tori nodded. “Even if it meant missing out on tonight. Besides, if Kirill has a problem with me canceling so I can spend more time with you, then he’s not worth it.” She picked up her pizza and looked at Clara. “Boys will come and go Clara, but family is forever.”

Clara smiled and picked her pizza back up to eat and Tori joined in, sneaking a glimpse at her phone to see that she still didn’t have any messages from Kirill. It’s not like she was expecting him to text her throughout the night, because it was, after all, a team Christmas party…but she was also hoping that her hypothetical ‘if he has a problem’ scenario wasn’t real. Because a big part of her, though she would deny it if asked, did care for Kirill.

And she hoped he felt the same way.

It’d been maybe an hour and a half into their night, the make-up was all washed away and the two of them were lounging on the couch in their face masks, complete with some chopped up cucumbers to snack on as they watched The Polar Express, one of their favorite Christmas movies they watched as kids. If it wasn’t so late, Tori might have suggested the two of them bundle up into a jacket and boots and wander down the street to get some ice cream. But, since tomorrow was their birthday, she figured that could be something she treated Clara to during the day.

Because right now, Clara was close to being ready to fall asleep and a sugar rush would only keep her up for a little bit longer.

“Who’s that?” Clara asked, looking towards the front door following the soft knock they heard. “Is Maddie coming back?”

“I’m not sure,” Tori said, getting up off of the couch and keeping her blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She walked over to the door, looking through the peephole and immediately stepping away. “Shit.”

“What? Who is it?”

“It’s Kirill,” she replied, reaching up and touching her dried clay mask. “And my face is completely purple…”

Clara jumped off of the couch and ran by Tori, nudging her out of the way and unlocking the door locks before swinging the door open. “Hi Kirill! Come in!”

“Hi,” he laughed, going along as Clara grabbed onto his coat jacket and tried to tug him in as best as she could. “What are…” he paused and looked between both girls as Clara shut the door. “What’s on your faces?”

“Face masks to help us look young,” Clara chimed in, pointing at the plastic bags he was carrying. “Whatcha got there?”

He looked down at the plastic bag and then held it up. “I brought ice cream.”

“But,” Tori paused, seeing that he was still dressed up in his suit. “What about the party? It doesn’t end for another two and a half hours.”

Kirill smiled and shrugged. “It wasn’t fun and Ryan said he’d tell everyone I wasn’t feeling good.”

“Does this mean we can have ice cream, Aunt Tori?” Clara gasped, turning towards her and grabbing onto her hand, pouting. “It’d make me feel so much better! Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty pleasseeeeee?”

“Yeah Tori, pretty please?” Kirill laughed, looking at her.

More than anything, she just wanted to wash the clay mask off of her face, even though it was looking like Kirill didn’t care that she was wearing it. “Okay,” she nodded, holding her blanket tighter. “We can have ice cream. We’ll just go wipe this stuff off our faces real quick and then–”

“No need!” Clara ran around the counter into the kitchen and grabbed the small stool Tori had for her, moving it in front of the sink and then turning the water on, vigorously rubbing her face with the water until the face mask was off.

Tori just sighed, grabbing a paper towel and ripping it, handing it to Clara. “Wipe around, you’ve got some flakes leftover.” She looked at Kirill and nodded. “I’ll be back.”

She swiftly made her way down the hall to her bedroom, walking in and going to the bathroom to wash the face mask off her face. She tried not to let her racing heart make her nervous at the fact that Kirill had left his own team’s Christmas party hours earlier, just to come by her apartment to make sure that they were okay. And he even brought ice cream. Those were two wins in her book and if she were to text Maddie and Kaia, no doubt in her mind that they would tease her and say that he’s definitely got feelings for her.

But she didn’t want that disappointment, because maybe he was just a friendly guy.

When she wiped her face dry, she walked back out and down the hall, seeing Kirill still standing at the counter, only now he was holding an ice cream scooper in his hand and looking at Clara for approval as he dropped a second scoop into the bowl. “Good?”

“Mm, one more.”

“No, two is good,” Tori laughed, shaking her head. “You need to sleep at some point tonight, because tomorrow is a big day.”

“Our birthday!” Clara smiled, looking at Kirill. “Are you guys coming to my party? It’s just Aunt Tori, Maddie and me right now.”

Kirill laughed as he handed over the bowl of ice cream. “I would love to come.”

“Sweet,” Clara smiled, grabbing her bowl before giving him a hug. “Thanks Kirill, you’re the best.”

She ran off before he could reply and Tori walked over, taking her place at the end of the island. “This was really nice of you to do,” she said, leaning against the counter. “I thought my spa night and pizza was good, but you really took the cake with this ice cream.”

“Took the cake?” He asked, eyebrows furrowed as he dropped a scoop of ice cream into her bowl.

“It means you won,” she smiled, nodding at the ice cream. “Plus, it’s like you have a radar in your head and knew I was craving something sweet.”

Kirill smiled, shrugging his shoulders. “I know you.”

It was a good day– a day to be celebrated in many ways.

It was Christmas Eve and then it was both Clara and Tori’s birthday. A bittersweet day, but also one that needed much celebration in it’s own right. When she woke up this morning, Clara was still fast asleep in the bed beside her, so Tori took the chance to get up and make a phone call to her dad– hoping it wasn’t too early in the morning for him.

The first thing he’d said when she answered, was wishing her and Clara both a happy birthday. And after the polite conversation and questions about how they were doing had come and gone, Tori had asked him the most important question for the day– “how did you do it?”

“How did I do what, Tori?”

“How did you make that first birthday after mom died, so special?”

There was silence on the phone before her dad sighed. “Well, I didn’t shy away from the topic if you wanted to talk about your mom. We did a lot of talking about her and past birthdays. We kept up with those traditions, and just made sure to include mom as much as we could.”

Tori was biting her long sleeve as she stared at the Christmas tree. “I’m just nervous I’ll ruin it,” she whispered, feeling the tears burn in her eyes. “You made that birthday and every one after that so special, even when deep down I was missing mom so much. I– I want to do that for Clara, I don’t want Jess and Steven’s death to overshadow her and make her hate her birthdays every year.”

“As long as you just talk about Jess and Steven when she wants to and you validate those feelings she has, you won’t ruin it, Tori. She loves you and you’ve got a way of making everyone feel special, especially on their birthdays. Just do things you’ll think she’ll enjoy or if she asks to do something, do that too.”

It was her dad’s advice that made her feel a lot less nervous going into the day. First up on the day, she’d made Clara a special breakfast– chocolate chip pancakes complete with whipped cream and some cut up strawberries– a birthday breakfast that their mom had made Tori and Jess every year on their birthday since they could remember. And it was a tradition that Tori knew Jess had kept up with, because when Clara finally woke up and joined her out in the living room, her eyes lit up when she saw the pancakes on the kitchen island– even if the smile wasn’t there.

Tori didn’t remember much about that first birthday without her mom, part of her thinks she probably blocked it out because it was too sad to think about, but watching Clara go through it, she probably experienced the same thing. The sniffles and tears while eating her breakfast, the smile on her face but one that didn’t reach her eyes as she opened the gift Tori’s dad had gotten her. The apologizing for feeling sad and the “it’s okay,” from Tori when she had apologized.

It felt like uncharted territory, even though she’d been in it before. The only thing that had even boosted her mood just a little bit, was when the four boys from down the hall stopped by to wish them both a happy birthday, even giving her some presents.

Kirill’s was the only one that Clara was actually interested in– maybe it was because it was from him or maybe because it was the only one that wasn’t personally signed Minnesota Wild merchandise. It was a Polly Pocket set, one that Tori wasn’t sure whether or not he just saw in a store and thought that she’d like it or if it was something he knew that she wanted. At least not until before they left, Tori had asked him how he knew what to get her and he said– “we're best friends, duh. She said she liked Polly Pockets, so I just went to the store and asked someone for help.”

Once the boys left, they just hung around the apartment, watching whatever Clara wanted to watch. It wasn’t until she started to feel a little antsy that Tori had asked what was wrong. Clara looked at her, a sad look on her face as she played with her hands and said, “I want to go see mommy and daddy…if that’s okay.”

Visiting the cemetery back in her hometown wasn’t exactly what Tori had on the birthday card for today, but she remembered what her dad said about being open to whatever Clara wanted to do and agreed. They had gotten dressed and left the apartment complex, getting to the garage and getting into her car before setting out for the drive back to Saint Paul. Christmas songs were on the radio, but that was the only sound in the car on their drive, especially once they neared the cemetery where her mom, Jess and Steven were all buried in the same section, but only plots away from each other.

They’d stopped at the store, buying some flowers before reaching the cemetery and once they parked off to the side, they got out and walked through the snow, trying their best to find the headstones. They’d found her mom’s first and Tori bent down and wiped off a few extra whisps of snow before placing the red poinsettias into the flowerpot. It wasn’t the first time since her mom had died that Tori had come to the cemetery, but each time was just as emotional as the first time after the funeral.

“Aunt Tori, can I go find mommy and daddy?” Clara asked, pointing just head. “I think they’re eight up.”

“Okay, just stay in view.” Tori nodded, watching as Clara walked just ahead in front of her. She took a deep breath and sighed, staring down at her mom’s engraved name. “I know you told us that even if you weren’t here anymore that you’d always be around…but I really hope that’s true because I feel like I’m out of my league.”

“I hope you’re with Jess and Steven up there, and I hope you guys are looking down at us and show up in times we need you. Dad’s doing good, Clara’s doing as good as you can expect her to…and I think I’m doing okay,” she replied, wiping her running nose. “You and Jess would be glad to know that I finally might’ve found someone I really like, though I’m not sure if the feelings are mutual. And I think you would’ve liked him, his name’s Kirill and he plays for the Wild. Jess has met him and she liked him, so I’m sure she’s told you all about him. He’s everything you always told us we deserved and needed to find in someone, one day.”

Tori laughed, shaking her head. “And honestly, I wouldn’t be all that surprised if you somehow sent him to me.” She looked up to see that Clara was squatting down towards the ground and knew she’d found where Jess and Steven were. “I miss you a lot, mom and I wish you were here all the time, but I know you are just like you said you would be. I love you and I’ll visit again soon, hug Jess and Steven for me.”

Tori quickly wiped her face and calmed herself down before walking away from her mom’s headstone and taking the short walk up to where Clara was at, not getting to close as to not want to interrupt Clara, wanting to give her privacy. When she stood up, Tori walked over and stood next to her, draping her arm over her shoulder. “You okay, Clara?”

Clara sniffled, wiping at her face and shaking her head. “I miss them,” she sobbed. “It’s not fair.”

Tori squatted down to her level and wrapped her in her arms, hugging her as she tried not to cry herself. “I know, I know,” she whispered, cupping the back of her head before leaning back. “But you know what my mom always told your mommy and I when we were little and she got really sick?”

Clara shook her head, sniffling again as she wiped at her nose. “No.”

“She told us, that even if she wasn’t here physically where we could see her and hug her,” she said, reaching up and wiping away the tear stains on Clara’s cheeks. “That she would always be right here in our hearts,” she reached down and patted Clara’s heart. “And that she would never, ever leave there.”

“Can I talk to her there too?” Clara asked, wiping at her face again.

“Always,” Tori whispered, holding onto Clara’s arms. “I was going to wait until tonight to give you this, but I think now might be better.”

“What is it?”

Tori reached into her jacket pocket, pulling out the small red gift box and lifting the lid and the small tissue paper from over it, revealing a small silver locket. “When you were born, your daddy bought this for your mommy. It says, ‘home is where the heart is’ on the front and on the back, it’s got all three of your guys initials,” Tori smiled, showing Clara both sides before opening the locket. “And then inside, they added this picture of the three of you smiling in the hospital room. See? There you are right there in your mommy’s arms.”

Clara leaned down, looking at the locket before looking up at Tori. “I was so small.”

“You were a few hours old,” Tori smiled, pointing to the empty side. “And then right here, if you want…we can add a picture of the three of you from that family photo session we all did together, yeah?”

“Yes please,” she nodded, wiping at her nose. “Can you put it on me?”

Tori nodded, taking the locket out of the box. “I figured you were old enough to have this now, that way you’ll always have your mommy and daddy to look at when you get a little sad and I’m not there to comfort you.”

Once she put the locket around her neck, Tori let it rest against her chest and Clara reached down and held it into her palm with a small smile before looking up at Tori. “I love it Aunt Tori and I love you.”

“I love you too, kiddo,” she smiled, hugging her again, this time just a little tighter.

It was hard trying to decipher whether or not Clara’s trembling lips and body were from her crying or from the harsh cold winter air. So they said one last goodbye to Jess and Steven, Tori saying her own goodbye in her head before they made their way back to their car, staying close to each other and holding hands. When they got back into the car, Tori turned around to make sure Clara was settled before offering her a small smile.

“How about we got get some hot chocolate from the cafe your grandma Clara used to always take your mom and I to when we were kids and we’ll talk about your mom and dad?” Tori suggested, unsure of how Clara would respond.

She sniffled again, wiping at her nose. “Do they have cake pops? Daddy loved cake pops.”

“They do,” Tori laughed, nodding her head. “We’ll get a cake pop too.”

They spent hours in that cafe, ordering hot chocolates and cake pops, nursing them as Tori told stories of Jess when they were younger and answered any questions about her mom and dad that Clara had. By the time it was time for them to start driving home so they could meet Maddie at the apartment for the small dinner and cake they were going to do for Clara, Clara was smiling for the first time that entire day– genuinely smiling.

It wasn’t until they got in the car that Tori saw she had a missed call from Kirill and a voicemail. And when she listened to it first, she smiled. “Kirill called, did you want to hear what he had to say?” She asked, looking over at Clara.

“Yes please!!!” Clara nodded, sitting eagerly in her car seat.

“Hey Tori, I just realized that I forgot to do something when I swung by earlier. I know it’s Clara’s birthday, so I wanted to wish her a happy birthday again and this time, do it the way we always did growing up.” He said something in his native Russian, probably something along the lines of happy birthday and then, the part that made Tori smile, he started to sing the simple tune of happy birthday– still in his native language.

“THAT WAS SO COOL!” Clara smiled, eyes wide. “Next time I see him I’m gonna ask him to teach me russian!”

Tori laughed, putting her phone down and starting her car. The only thing Clara didn’t know was that Tori had ended the voicemail seconds before he went on to say what he did after.

“I know it’s your birthday too, so I wanted to say happy birthday and I’m very happy I met you. You’re doing a great job, Tor.” And then he said something else in russian before translating it for her. “I am the happiest man on earth because I met you, bye.”

She didn’t need Clara teasing her until she was red in the face, but also, she knew that she would never get his voice out of her head– constantly replaying the compliment on their drive home.

The day had come and gone, the sun was set and all around Minnesota, Tori was sure parents had their kids all tucked into bed. But in their small bedroom apartment, Tori, Maddie and Clara were watching ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’ like all the Christmas Eve’s before, snacking on some of the leftover cookies they’d made for Santa and just enjoying each other’s presence.

“Did you have a good birthday, kiddo?” Maddie asked, looking over Tori as Clara sat down on the floor, wrapped up in a blanket Maddie had gotten her that was a picture of Clara, Jess and Steven together from last Christmas.

“Yeah, one of the best,” Clara smiled, looking over her shoulder at them. “Thank you guys a lot.”

“You’re welcome, Clara,” Tori smiled, tucking her legs beneath her on the couch. “I’m glad you had a good day.”

“I feel bad though,” Clara frowned, holding the blanket around her. “It’s your birthday too, Aunt Tori and you didn’t get a cake to make a wish or anything.”

Tori smiled, shrugging her shoulders. “That’s okay, I got what I wanted and that was for you to have a good day. I know how hard those firsts can be when you lose someone important to you and all I wanted was to do for you what Grandpa did for me and your mom when we were younger. To make sure you could still have a good day, even if you were a little sad.”

Clara got up and walked over to the couch, leaning over and giving Tori a hug. “I love you Aunt Tori, you’re the best ever.”

“I love you too, Clara,” Tori replied, rubbing her back as she held onto the hug.

A knock on the door interrupted the hug and Clara jumped back, handing her blanket off to Tori. “I’ll get it!”

“What did we say about answering doors?” Tori laughed, holding the blanket in her lap.

“Yeah, Clara,” Maddie smiled, looking at Tori. “I wonder who that could be.”

Tori folded the blanket the best she could before getting up off of the couch, just as Clara opened the door. “GRANDPA!!!!!” Clara squealed, being lifted up moments after as Tori’s dad walked into the apartment, closing the door behind her.

“Dad?” Tori asked, eyes widening. “What are you doing here? I thought you were back with Grandma?”

“Oh no, she got tired of me hovering,” he laughed, shaking his head. “Her surgery went successful and she maybe lasted two days of me staying with her in her little apartment before she told me I needed to come home and be here with you guys. She’s got some good staff looking after her and I told her I’d be on the first flight out if she ever needed anything.”

Tori walked over with a smile, hugging him with one arm as he held Clara. “It’s good to have you here, we missed you.”

“I missed you guys too,” he said, kissing them each on the temple. “And happy birthday to you both. Hi Maddie.”

“Hi Mr. Holly, I’m glad you’re here,” she smiled, sitting up on the couch. “Though you’re not quite who I was expecting.”

Tori’s dad laughed. “If you’re talking about a certain Wild hockey player, he’s still hanging out in the hall. Looks a bit nervous if you ask me.”

“What?” Tori asked, looking at them as her dad put Clara down and Clara started to drag him over to where she had put her Christmas presents down.

“Oh yeah, he’s out there giving himself a pep talk, open the door if you don’t believe me,” her dad laughed, following behind Clara.

Staring at the closed door, she knew that Clara would’ve announced Kirill’s presence if he was out there. She practically adored him just as much as Tori did. But more of a point…why was he out there pacing in the hall? Tori opened the door and didn’t even need to look out into the hall, because there was Kirill, wearing a Christmas sweater and moving himself right into view of her apartment door.

“Kirill,” she said, still surprised even though she was told he was out here. “What are you doing?”

He brought his hands out from behind his back, holding an all too familiar pink bakery box from Tori’s favorite bakery down the street. “I wanted to give you this, it’s your birthday.”

She was speechless as he handed over the box to her and she lifted the lid, seeing her favorite three layered chocolate mousse cake she would always treat herself to a slice or two whenever she stopped by the bakery. On it, was white icing that was written in script that said– look up. She furrowed her eyebrows and looked up at Kirill to see him holding out a small plastic mistletoe decoration with nervous eyes. “What–”

“I know it’s probably lame,” he sighed, dropping his arm by his side. “But I didn’t know what else to do and it’s your birthday and I didn’t want to overlook that. But you’re one of my best friends out here and you’re beautiful and kind and you always make me laugh. I’ve been too nervous to tell you or do anything which is why the guys like to chirp me about you– but I do. I like you a lot, Tori. I like watching movies with you and Clara and ice skating and I’m not good with stuff like this but–”

Tori smiled, before closing the lid on the box and stepping forward, leaning up onto her toes and cupping the left side of his face with her right hand before leaning in and kissing him. She’d always been afraid of making that first move, too nervous about ruining their friendship. Even after they’d spent most of the family skate days earlier, holding hands– playful manor or not. But now, with the cake and his equally adorable rant…she knew that he had feelings for her too and nothing was going to stop her from doing what her hearts been wanting this entire time.

When she pulled away, he looked at her with wide eyes before smiling, holding up the mistletoe. “So it wasn’t cheesy? Because Ryan said it was cheesy and–”

“I loved it, it was very sweet,” she smiled, nodding her head. “Want to come in? We’re just watching a movie.”

He nodded, stuffing the plastic mistletoe into his pocket before walking into the apartment and then coming to a deadstop. She closed the door and turned around, her eyes going wide to see her dad, Clara and Maddie all standing there with smiles on their faces. “Oh…uh…”

“Really guys?” Tori sighed, feeling her cheeks grow hot.

“Took you a while huh, Kirill?” Maddie said, playfully shaking her head. “

He reached up and rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, I just got nervous. Especially when you walked up, sir.”

“No need to be nervous, I’m a friendly guy,” her dad said, walking over and shaking his hand. “However, why don’t we go sit on the couch and talk about your intentions with my daughter, hm?”

“DAD!” Tori gasped, quickly ushering them away. “All of you go sit in the living room and I’ll cut up the cake.”

“CAKE?” Clara asked, eyes wide as she ran over and lifted the lid to the pink box. “You’ve gotta make your wish first, Aunt Tori!”

“Fine, fine, but you guys go in there and I’ll make my wish in here,” Tori said, as Maddie and her dad went back into the living room while her, Kirill and Clara were in the kitchen. Tori opened a drawer and grabbed the lighter, lighting the two candles.

“Make a wish, Aunt Tori,” Clara smiled, resting her arms on the counter and then her chin on her arms. “Even though I already know what you’re going to wish for.”

“You do?” Kirill asked, playing along.

“You do not,” Tori scoffed.

“Sure I do,” Clara smiled. “For Kirill to be your boyfriend.”

“I guess I did forget something after all,” he laughed, taking the plates from her as she grabbed a knife to cut the cake. “Is that something you want? Because–”

Tori just leaned in, kissing him again before pulling away with a smile, subtly nodding her head. “It’s a yes.”

“Okay, me too,” he nodded, blushing as he motioned towards her cake. “Make another wish.”

Tori blushed, tucking her chin into her chest as she smiled., looking around the room. She had her best friend in the entire world and her dad here, Clara was starting to look more like her old self even after the rough year that she’d been through…and the guy from down the hall she’d been crushing on for almost as long as she’s known him…had finally confirmed what her heart had been telling her all along– that he had liked her too. There wasn’t much more in the world that she could want, but maybe there was, and maybe it was just that she wanted Jess, Steven and her mom to know she was trying her best and she wanted them to be proud of her.

She closed her eyes, making the wish that she hoped all of this would stay– the happiness and the peace that her family had adapted after tragedy, her very new relationship with Kirill…there was nothing more in this world that she wanted than to see Clara’s smile and hear her laugh, or getting to feel Kirill’s hand in hers and experience the fireworks she had when they kissed. After savoring the moment, she blew out the candles and opened her eyes again.

There they were, Clara and Kirill. Clara with her big smile, the one that had the best of both Jess and Steven. And then there was Kirill, smiling just as big and looking at her with a kind of love in his eyes that made her heart patter against her chest.

“Best Christmas Eve and birthday ever.”

[puckpocketed]

ny islanders @ minnesota wild 15th january 2024

brock faber breaks some ankles

[crossbackpoke-check]

the deweys photos are from this video: https://youtu.be/5xTwJho44ao?si=bPw8MZZ327lCogVZ aren’t they just everything

kissing you and the minnesota wild official media team (with consent) full on the mouth, THANK YOU THIS VIDEO IS EVERYTHING 🥰🥰 i have seen pieces of it before i think (connor petting a shark 🥹) but the entire video start to finish is such a delight, 10/10 would recommend

[dubious-writing]

🖤 For whoever you're feeling.

🖤 kissing while crying / goodbye kiss / desperation

This was too much power to give me anon. Sorry it took so long. Also I really hope you’re an hrpf fan because that’s what I wrote. If you wanted a pairing from a different fandom, message me again!

But until then: have 1,071 words of Dewvorce

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

They were supposed to have more time. As much as they could get their hands on, which they assumed would be plenty, would be enough.

Turns out it was nothing at all.

It was probably stupid of him, but he’d held out hope until the very end. Ignoring all the rumors and the questions from reporters and the looks from their teammates they think he didn’t notice full of a pity that was too early to acknowledge. Ignoring the extra large carry-on containing too many clothes for just a quick back-to-back trip. Ignoring the steely resolve in Brandon’s face hiding away the pain just behind it, the set of his eyebrows betrayed by the clench of his jaw. Call it stupidity, call it ignorance, call it naivety.

Call it whatever you like; if nothing else, the hope had been there until the very end, through everything. If nothing else, that bravery is something to be proud of.

Their time together had seemed endless, a long sprawling trail, untouched, built only for their feet to walk on, a red carpet rolled out into the future just for them. Now, their time together can be counted in only minutes, the seconds ticking by one by one in the ticking of the wall clock in this barren hotel lobby.

Connor knows the rest of the guys have already said their goodbyes, their well wishes, clapped Brandon on the back preemptively and promised to keep in touch. They’ve been doing it all week where they think he hasn’t been able to see, where they think he wasn’t watching. They should’ve known it was all in vain; where Brandon goes, his eyes follow.

So they’re alone, here, in this nondescript lobby, not another soul in sight. Even the receptionists at the front desk could sense what a private moment this was and made themselves busy in some back room. The only sounds are the ticking of the clock, the shift of Brandon's palm on the handle of his bag, the slight sniffle in Connor’s nose as he tries desperately to keep his emotions in check. It feels like his heart is being cleaved out of his chest, bits of broken bone and pieces of flesh spilling onto the tiled floor beneath them.

Finally, after an eternity and instant, after not nearly enough time at all, Brandon shifts his weight between the balls of his feet. He takes one tiny step back, raises his hand to rub at the back of his neck, tightens the grip on his suitcase. The Wild green sands of their hourglass have run out.

“Dewey, I gotta…”

And Connor knows. He knows. This isn’t something he can stop, this isn’t a game he can throw his body into trying to get the win for the boys. This was a loss he looked straight in the eyes and never saw coming. There have been a lot of those this season.

The worst part, he thinks, is that he really did think they had all the time in the world. And if you have all that time, what’s the rush in voicing things already known and understood, when you know you’ll have another chance at it later?

There are no more chances.

“Brandon, you– I…”

“It’s okay,” and Connor didn’t think his heart could break anymore, but looking at Brandon’s smile, the edges trembling and cracking, he thinks it may have been kinder to just stomp the fleshy pulp of it into the floor. “I know.”

He has always known, hasn’t he, all these years? 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

And that’s right, he will. Brandon was traded to the Avs, and the team was gonna be in Colorado tomorrow night anyways. Funny, how these things tend to happen.

Connor can’t bring himself to say anything, let alone a goodbye that would only feel inadequate, so he can only nod once, jerky, because he’s holding onto himself too tightly for it to look natural. Brandon’s jaw clenches again, the muscles in his cheek bulging with it, and nods back. He turns around, pulling his luggage behind him, the clack of the wheels hitting the seams between tiles echoing between them.

But… no. No, that can’t be it. An entire future, barely even started, still a fledgling little thing, weak and without its eyes open, smothered in its crib. Snuffed out in a matter of seconds with no effort at all.

And Connor knows he’s being a little dramatic here, that he will see Brandon again, that they will keep in touch, that neither of them are actually fucking dying (even if it feels like it, a little - a lot). But he can’t let that be it. It’s not fucking fair, and he can’t let that be it.

“Wait– Brandon!”

Brandon turns around too quickly to hide the wetness in his eyes, but it doesn’t matter because Connor’s are no better, and then it really doesn’t matter at all because both their eyes are closed.

As far as first kisses go, it’s fucking shit. Connor’s aim was off center, Brandon stumbling half a step back with the weight of a body crashing into his. Their noses knock and their teeth smash together beneath their lips. It tastes like blood and ash and despair, heartbreak and the death of the life they could’ve had if only they were able to get their shit together. But it’s also a kiss with Brandon - the only one he may ever have - so it has to be good enough.

Kissing your best friend, the guy you think you’ve been in love with for years, as emotionally stunted as you both are, right before he has to board a plane that will take him hundreds of miles away from you for what feels like forever, is not a good idea. As awful and terrible as the world is right now, it would probably have been more bearable if he’d never known what it was like to actually kiss Brandon, if he’d been left to wonder for the rest of his life.

But as Brandon’s bag clatters to the floor, as a hand worms itself underneath the hem of Connor’s jacket, as the other cups his jaw to tilt his head into a better angle, as the kiss softens into something less like anger and more like tenderness, he can’t bring himself to regret it.

[blueskrugs]

Written in the Sand | Tyson Jost

it’s finally here! I started this fic in September, thinking it would be a cute couple thousand words, and then finally finished it four months and almost 30,000 words later. 

huge thank you to @antoineroussel​ who held my hand through a lot of this and also did the hard work of beta reading and editing all of this. 

recommended listening: Written in the Sand by Old Dominion (where else would I get title and inspo from?), Colder Weather by Zac Brown Band, and The Dance by Garth Brooks.

length: 29.8k words (lol)

this fic has now been broken into chapters for easier reading 

Are we written in the stars, baby, or are we written in the sand?

Tyson never meant to catch feelings. Really. It was supposed to be a one-night stand. Then it happened again, and again, and somewhere along the line it turned into regular hooking up. And, well, anyone would tell you that Tyson wore his heart on his sleeve. It wasn’t long before he was falling fast and hard. 

Tyson looked across the couch at where she was dozing, wearing one of his T-shirts. His birthday was in a few days. He’d already resolved to ask her out for real before then. This stupid not-quite-friends-with-benefits shit was getting old. It needed to end one way or another, for Tyson’s sanity—and his heart. If he was going to get his heart broken anyway, why prolong the inevitable?

But he was getting ahead of himself. 

November

It’s early in the season, too early to be celebrating wins the way they are. But they blew out the Canucks and the Sharks in consecutive games and don’t have another one for four days, so Gabe dragged them all out to a bar. There’s something special about this team, Tyson can feel it, and so can the rest of the guys.

Which is how Tyson finds himself a couple beers and a shot or two deep on a Saturday night in November, with JT squished against his side in the booth. The team is extra loud to account for the fact that they’re in a crowded bar; EJ is across the table chirping Andre about something or other. Tyson settles in and takes another drink of his beer. 

JT elbows him in the ribs. Tyson elbows him back harder on principle. 

“No, idiot, there’s a cute girl over there,” JT says.

“You have a girlfriend,” Tyson says, not following. He tries to figure out which girl JT is talking about, but there’s a lot of girls in the bar. 

“You don’t,” JT points out, and, oh. 

“I’m not really looking for anything,” Tyson says, because it’s true. Especially not some hookup with a girl in a bar. He doesn’t really roll that way. He really wants to focus on having a good season here. He still doesn’t know which girl JT is talking about.

Gabe, the nosy asshole, leans over Cale to give his two cents. “Josty, I think you need another beer.”

Tyson glares at his unfortunately almost-empty beer bottle. He glances over at the bar again. This time, a girl catches his eye and gives him a small smile over her friend’s shoulder. She is kind of cute, Tyson supposes. Tyson heaves a sigh and elbows JT again to force him out of the booth. A small cheer goes up. He flips them off without turning around. 

It’s even more crowded at the bar, but Tyson manages to squeeze in near the girl and lean against the bar while he waits for a bartender. The person on his left leaves with their drink, and then he’s next to the girl. He wishes he knew her name. She smiles at him again. 

He’s about to lean in and introduce himself when a bartender comes over and asks for his order. She’s smirking at him when he turns back.

“All the beers in the world, and you’re drinking Coors?” she asks. She has to lean in close to be heard, and Tyson doesn’t mind it. He makes an outraged noise, which only makes her grin grow. “I’m Madison,” she says. 

“Listen, Madison,” Tyson starts, but he doesn’t actually have a great argument. He’s just not very picky when it comes to beers. He closes his mouth. Madison laughs at him and takes a sip of her drink. “And what’re you drinking, huh?” Something with a lime wedge on it. Red, maybe. The dim lighting makes it extra hard to see colors.

“All beer is gross, first of all,” she says. “Second of all, it’s a vodka cran.”

“Can I buy you another?” Tyson asks. Her glass is less vodka cran and more ice at this point.

On Madison’s other side, her friend groans. Tyson probably deserves that. Madison rolls her eyes at him. He deserves that, too.

“Real smooth,” she says. Tyson winks at her. “I don’t even know your name,” she points out. Oh, yeah.

“I’m Tyson,” he says. He sticks out a hand for handshake, and Madison takes it, though she raises an eyebrow and laughs at him again as she does it. 

“Okay, Tyson,” Madison says, “you can buy me a drink.” Tyson thinks she sounds amused. 

Tyson fist pumps and turns back to catch the attention of one of the bartenders again. 

Drinks procured, Tyson loses track of time as he chats with Madison, as much as they can over the din and constant jostling. By the time they’re both finished, Madison’s pressed close to Tyson’s side. She’s looking up at him expectantly. 

Fuck it, Tyson thinks. He leans close and settles a hand on Madison’s hip. “Can I take you home?” he asks.

Madison slides a hand around the back of his neck. Her nails scratch the curls at the nape of his neck, and Tyson suppresses a shiver in a warm, crowded bar. 

“God, I thought you were never going to ask,” she says. 

Some of the guys are still posted up at tables in the corner. He’d forgotten about them. He hears a few jeers over the din of the crowd, and he flips them off with the hand that’s not clutching one of Madison’s. 

“Friends of yours?” she asks, looking over her shoulder at the cluster of rowdy hockey players, letting Tyson drag her towards the door.

“Unfortunately,” Tyson says, once they’re safely out the door, and he can talk at a normal volume again. “Can I kiss you?” he blurts, pausing in trying to fish his car keys out of his pocket.

Madison laughs again, but it’s not mean. Tyson likes it, the way she already seems comfortable teasing him. She doesn’t answer, instead just slides her hand around Tyson’s neck again and pulls him down to kiss her. Tyson’s dizzy with the feeling of her lips warm against his, there in the middle of the sidewalk. He makes himself pull away.

“Fuck,” he breathes.

Madison lets Tyson keep a hand on her thigh as he drives, edging up under the hem of her shorts. He’s dying to be able to kiss her again. She lets him as soon as she’s out of the car and pressed up against the passenger door. Then again, in the elevator until they’re both breathless, and even more once they’re safely inside Tyson’s apartment. Against the front door, tripping over themselves down the hallway, and, finally, finally, twisted up in Tyson’s sheets. 

Madison stirs next to Tyson, knocking him out of his bask in the afterglow. Her hair, once nicely curled, is a mess. Tyson’s probably doesn’t look much better, actually.

“I should go,” she whispers.

Tyson wants to argue. To tell her she can stay. But that’s too much, too strange. He rolls over to kiss her again, instead. She pushes him away with a soft giggle.

“Not helping,” she says. She sits up. “Can I use your bathroom?”

“Yeah, course,” Tyson says, nodding too hard. Madison slips out of bed and collects her clothes. If Tyson watches her ass as she goes, who’s to blame him?

He’s dozing when she re-emerges, fully dressed and a little less disheveled. 

“Can I get your phone number?” Tyson asks without thinking. That’s not what this was supposed to be. He told JT he wasn’t looking for anything just a few hours ago. He just knows he wants to see Madison again.

She hesitates. Tyson understands. 

“I’d really like to see you again,” Tyson says, maybe too honest for a hookup, but it’s late. He can’t be blamed for the things he says after 1 AM. “And it’s late, I’d sleep better if I know you got home okay.”

Tyson can see the moment she gives in. Madison sighs and steps closer to the bed, but there’s something soft in her eyes when she looks at Tyson. 

“Where’s your phone?” she asks. Tyson reaches for his bedside table out of habit. His phone never made it there in their haste to get into bed. He turns back to face Madison, sheepish.

“I don’t know, actually.” Probably still in the back pocket of his jeans, but he can’t remember if he stopped to take it out and set it somewhere, either. 

Madison sighs at him again and shakes her head. Tyson watches as she scoops his jeans off the floor and digs through them before coming up with his phone. He probably should have done that himself, but Madison tosses it at him before he can push the sheets away from where they’re pooling at his waist. Tyson isn’t expecting it and fumbles the phone. He has to dig it back out before he can unlock it and toss it back to Madison. 

She catches it with ease, and Tyson sticks his tongue out at her. Show-off. She ignores him, thumb swiping idly through his apps until she finds his contacts. She types for a moment, oddly serious. Her own phone vibrates in her other hand. She throws the phone back at Tyson. He doesn’t drop it this time. 

He unlocks his phone to see that Madison’s made herself a contact—just her first name and a smiley face typed out— and texted herself—a little blue bubble that just says, tyson.

She checks her phone again. “I really should go,” she says softly. “My ride’s here,” she adds.

“Wait,” Tyson says. He reaches out a hand, wraps his fingers around her wrist when she steps closer and tugs her down so he can kiss her one last time. “‘Kay, now you can go,” he whispers.

Madison cups his cheek and gives him one quick peck, then she’s out the door.

Tyson’s not quite asleep when his phone vibrates next to him, and she slaps at it, squinting at it in the dark. A text from Madison reads, home x. Tyson falls asleep smiling. 

He almost expects that to be the end of it. He knows he said he wanted to see Madison again, but he’s not sure either of them are going to follow up on it. The Avs’ schedule gets busy—away, then back home, then gone again.

But it happens again. Tyson’s high on another win when he dials Madison’s phone number. It rings long enough that Tyson thinks she’s not going to answer.

“Hello?” Madison says, startling Tyson. 

“Oh,” he says. He didn’t think he’d get this far. 

“Tyson?”

“Are you busy tonight?” he blurts. It’s a Saturday night, he’s expecting her to say that she’s going out with friends or something. Tyson’s just getting home from the game himself. 

He’s surprised when she says, “Not really.”

“Oh,” Tyson says again. He pulls his tie off over his head and tosses it aside. 

“Tyson? This is a booty call, isn’t it?”

“Uh. Maybe?” Tyson says. “Is it working?” Tyson surveys his apartment. He’d cleaned before leaving for Dallas, and he’s barely been home long enough to make a mess again. Though, his unpacked suitcase is exploding in the corner of his room where he dumped it when they got in late the night before. 

“God, you’re so bad at flirting,” Madison says. Unfortunately, she’s endeared by it. “I can be there in like thirty minutes, text me your address.” 

Tyson fist pumps when he hangs up the call. He frantically texts Madison before going to change into sweats. He’s fidgeting restlessly on his couch when Madison calls him again thirty-six minutes later. 

“Can you let me up?” she asks.

“Oh, shit, yeah,” he says. He doesn’t bother with shoes, just swipes his keys from his kitchen island and heads downstairs.

Madison’s waiting awkwardly in his lobby when Tyson steps off the elevator. She spots him and grins when he waves at her. She wants to hug him, for some reason, when he approaches her, but that’s not what they are, so she settles for taking his hand and twining their fingers together when he reaches out for her. 

Tyson doesn’t pin her against the elevator wall to kiss her after the doors close behind them, but Madison can tell he wants to. She squeezes his hand, and Tyson pulls her into his side.

“Little excited, huh?” Madison teases, looking at Tyson’s feet.

He wiggles his socked toes and grins at Madison. 

“Well, duh,” he says. The elevator doors open again. Tyson all but drags Madison towards his apartment. He’s kissing her before the door is shut all the way. They stumble over to Tyson’s couch, and Tyson’s pulling Madison into his lap before he’s even settled. She lets him kiss her for a few minutes before she pulls away.

“Is this going to become a thing every time you guys win?” she gasps. 

“You know who I am?” Tyson doesn’t ask, resting his forehead on Madison’s shoulder to catch his breath. “You watch hockey?” he asks instead. He’s not sure it’s a better question than the one he didn’t ask. 

Madison twists her fingers in the hair at the base of Tyson’s neck. “Not avidly. I really didn’t know who you were the first time, but my friends and I were out the other night, and I saw you on TV.” She tugs a little on his hair, and Tyson tilts his head back to look at her. She’s watching his face closely, waiting for his reaction.

Tyson’s relieved, in a weird way, that she didn’t know who he was when they hooked up the first time. He’s just not sure how he feels now that she’s back in his lap, and evidently knows he plays for the Avalanche. Madison’s unwavering, looking steadily back at Tyson. 

“What, so you’re just fucking me because I’m a hockey player now?” he jokes, or tries to joke. He thinks it falls flat.

Madison laughs. “No, you idiot, I’m fucking you because you’re kinda cute.” She rolls her eyes, and Tyson pouts a little. “I told you, I didn’t know who you were the first time. I’m not chasing anything, Tys. Besides, if I were chasing hockey players, I’m sure there are single Avs players who score more goals,” she teases.

“Hey, I scored a goal tonight!” Tyson protests. 

“I know, baby,” she says, kissing him quickly. 

“Did you look up my stats?” Tyson asks, distracted. 

“I like you, okay?” Madison says, ignoring him. “Wouldn’t be here for any other reason.”

Tyson has to kiss her again. They don’t end up making it to the bedroom. 

“Do you have to go?” Tyson whines, watching Madison sit up and search for her clothes. Tyson thinks her T-shirt ended up behind his couch.

Madison pauses. Tyson’s curls are a disaster, and Madison kind of wants to mess them up more. “And what exactly would we do if I stayed?” she asks, eyebrows raised. She threads her fingers into Tyson’s hair, tugs once, because she can. 

Tyson blushes a little. “I dunno, watch a movie?” Madison makes a face. Tyson’s phone got buried in the couch cushions, and he fishes it out to look at the time. “Okay, I guess it is kinda late.” Tyson’s stomach growls. “Do you want to order pizza?” he asks instead. 

Madison finds her shirt and checks the time on her own phone. “I really should get home,” she says, apologetic. “I hate getting Ubers late at night.” 

“You can spend the night,” Tyson says without thinking. At the look on Madison’s face, he says instead, ”Or, I could drive you home. Whatever.” 

“‘Whatever,’” Madison scoffs, shaking her head. But she grins at Tyson and pulls her shirt over her head. Tyson briefly mourns the loss of her bare chest. “I guess I could go for pizza,” she says. 

“Wait, for real?” Tyson asks. He realizes he probably sounds too eager. 

“Don’t make me change my mind,” Madison warns, but her smile is playful. 

She’s still standing next to the couch, and Tyson has to pull her back into his lap. She giggles as she settles across Tyson’s thighs. He kisses her cheek, the corner of her mouth, before she turns her head and captures his lips with her own. They kiss for long minutes, Tyson doesn’t know, time slowed down and unimportant. That is, until Tyson remembers he’s hungry and has to pull away. 

“Pizza?” he asks, somewhat nonsensically, panting a little. 

Madison kisses him again. Tyson tightens his grip on her hips, but pushes her away. “As long as you order pepperoni.” She slides off Tyson’s lap and slumps onto the couch next to Tyson.

Madison suddenly realizes that she’s tired, her eyes feeling heavy as she watches Tyson order pizza. She considers for a second, before carefully poking him in the ribs with her toes. Tyson doesn’t flinch. Madison stretches and settles with one of her feet across Tyson’s lap. He drops his hand to her ankle without looking down, thumb rubbing small circles across the bone absently. Madison closes her eyes and dozes. 

She’s woken up again by Tyson gripping her foot and shaking it. She’s melted further into the couch cushions, bones heavy with exhaustion. Tyson smiles at her.

“Pizza’s here, babe,” he says softly.

Sure enough, there’s a pizza box resting on the coffee table. It smells enticing enough to rouse Madison the rest of the way. She reaches a hand out, intending for Tyson to give her a piece of pizza, but he wraps his fingers around hers and pulls her to sit up. She leans into Tyson’s side. He laughs quietly and drapes an arm across her shoulders. Madison could probably fall back asleep like this, Tyson warm and solid next to her. Tyson hands her a slice of pizza, and Madison’s actually too hungry to resist. 

Tyson turns on some show on Netflix while they eat. Neither of them are paying much attention, but it fills in the silence nicely. It’s cold and dark outside, the city of Denver sleepy, but inside Tyson’s apartment, it’s cozy and warm. 

It’s dangerous waking up next to Madison the next morning. It’s something Tyson could get used to far too easily. Madison’s still asleep when he rolls over in the early morning light. She’s rolled over to face him in her sleep, face soft and hair a mess. Tyson’s not sure what time it is. He should maybe get up, but he’s not in any rush. 

Madison blinks awake to find Tyson watching her. She rubs at her eyes and rolls onto her back.

“Whatchu lookin’ at?” she mumbles. She turns her head back to look at Tyson. 

Tyson grins lazily back at her. “You, duh.” 

Madison facewashes him. Tyson grabs her wrist and wrenches her hand away, cackling. “You’re the worst,” she says over his laughter. 

Tyson scoots closer and sticks a foot in between Madison’s legs. No ulterior motive, just wanting to be close. Okay, maybe a teeny bit of ulterior motive: Tyson’s toes are cold. He’d wheedled Madison into wearing a pair of his sweatpants and a T-shirt before they’d fallen asleep. She looks like she belongs in Tyson’s bed. 

Madison watches Tyson closely as he settles back in. She tries to read the expression on his face, the small smile on his lips. She’s not sure what any of it means.

“So what next?” she asks softly. Two hook-ups and a sleepover does not a relationship make. 

Tyson knows what she’s asking. He runs through their upcoming schedule in his head. They’re about to leave for a week. That’s about as far as he gets. They can worry about all that later. All he knows that he wants, no, he needs to see Madison again. 

What he says now is, “Breakfast?” 

December

Madison doesn’t hear much from Tyson for a while after that. It’s not like she expected to, really. She knows the Avalanche went on another long road trip, and it’s not like they need to be texting each other constantly. 

Madison finds herself checking the Avalanche box scores after each game. Tyson gets two goals while they’re gone. Not that she’s counting, or anything. 

Tyson means to call. He really does. Or even text some. But in the air somewhere over Canada, he realizes he’s never actually talked much with Madison. He doesn’t know anything about her, unless you count what she’s like in bed. He’s never been good at small talk, or the talking phase. Which, when he thinks about it, is probably why he’s still single. 

It’s not until he’s staring down three and a half weeks of nothing but practices that Tyson picks up his phone again. 

Madison answers faster than he’d expected. “You’re not bored already, are you?” she asks. “It’s only been two days since you had a game.”

It’s only been one day since their last game, actually. Tyson whines into the phone. “Yes, I’m bored, okay?” Madison laughs at him. Tyson makes a face, even though she can’t see it. “We never get this much time off, it’s weird,” he goes on. “What am I supposed to do?”

“You’re a smart boy, Tyson,” Madison teases. “Went to college and everything, I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

That’s not to say that Tyson doesn’t have ideas, and he thinks Madison knows what he’s angling for because she’s not a fool. She’s really going to make him work for this one. 

“I mean, I guess I could watch some movies or start a new TV show,” Tyson hedges. 

“Watch The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings trilogies,” Madison says absently. “Could get you through a good couple of days.”

Tyson takes his opening. “You could always come over and watch them with me,” he says. 

Madison groans, as if they both didn’t see where this conversation was going. “You’re terrible,” she tells him. 

“No, really, we can just hang out,” Tyson says. And if hanging out leads to other things, well. “Don’t you have teammates you can hang out with or something?” Madison asks, skeptical. 

“I see them literally every day”—Madison laughs again—“and I want to see you,” Tyson adds. “Really.” 

Madison pauses on the other end of the line. “Fine,” she says finally. “Should I pack a bag?” 

Tyson freezes. He hadn’t gotten that far in his scheming. Never considered Madison would even want to spend that much time with him this weekend. He’s quiet long enough that Madison says something.

“Tyson?” she says softly.

Tyson shakes himself, tries to get his brain back online. “I, uh, I mean. I guess? You can, if—if you want?” he stammers. It’s Friday afternoon. He still has some practices over the weekend, but the long break between games suddenly seems less daunting with the prospect of Madison staying over, staying in his bed.

“I’ll be over soon, okay?” Madison says. 

Tyson isn’t sure if he manages to say anything else before she ends the call. Fuck. He’s getting the sense for the first time that he’s in over his head. He isn’t so sure he minds, actually. 

The weekend passes quickly once Madison’s there, though Tyson swears time slows down when he’s with her. They do actually end up watching The Lord of the Rings movies—which Madison had proudly produced from one of her bags, along with several packs of microwave popcorn, which had sent Tyson into a laughing fit— in between falling into bed (or the couch, more than once) and Tyson dragging himself out of the apartment to get to skate. 

“We really should do The Hobbit first, since those come first chronologically, but other than the first one, they’re not as good,” Madison explains at one point, gesturing with a handful of popcorn. Tyson just nods. “And we could have probably had a proper marathon and watched all the movies, but that’s like twenty hours, and I figured you had other plans, anyway.” She looks sidelong at Tyson, one eyebrow raised.

“You’re kind of a nerd, you know that?” Tyson asks later, breathless from making out. He’s pressing Madison into the couch cushions, their legs tangled together underneath a blanket. He’s aiming for light, teasing, but he’s not sure he quite gets there.

Madison tugs on the hair at the nape of Tyson’s neck. “Yeah, but you like me anyway.” Madison’s smirking a little. 

Tyson absolutely does like her anyway. It might make him like her more, actually.

Madison’s standing at the kitchen counter with the last of her coffee on Sunday morning when Tyson comes up and presses himself against her back, pinning her in place. He presses a kiss to the spot where Madison’s neck meets her shoulder. Madison tilts her head to the side some. With better access, Tyson drags a line of kisses down her neck and across the top of her shoulder.

Madison sets her coffee mug down on the counter with shaky hands before she drops it. 

“Are you sure you can’t stay longer?” Tyson mumbles into Madison’s skin. 

From this angle, Tyson can see the hickey on Madison’s collarbone from the day before. He’s got one to match, somewhere. He wants to get his mouth on it again, make it darker, make sure it’s there for days. 

Tyson feels it more than he hears it when Madison laughs. She reaches up and drapes an arm backwards over his shoulder, holding him in place as much as he’s pinning her. 

“Sorry, bud, but some of us have to get back to the real world,” she says. She doesn’t make any effort to move. 

Tyson bites her shoulder, gently, but pulls away. “Same time next week?” he asks next, only half a joke. 

Madison turns around and looks at Tyson. “Tyson, next week is Christmas.”

“Fuck, is it?” Tyson tries to remember what day it is. His family is coming to town this year. He should probably put some effort into decorating his apartment, then. 

Madison just shakes her head at him. Tyson wonders if his mom and Kacey will be able to look at him and know what’s going on in his heart. 

Tyson’s apartment feels empty without Madison in it when he gets back from practice later that afternoon. She’d filled in all the quiet spaces Tyson didn’t realize it had—a spare throw blanket strewn across the couch, her makeup bag overflowing on his bathroom counter, an extra set of dirty dishes in the sink. 

He misses her. More than he should, probably. Huh.

This was never supposed to be anything. Just a hook-up from the bar. Now Madison’s spending weekends at his place, and Tyson wants to see her all the time. He should’ve seen it coming, maybe. He’d never been good at flings. 

He thinks about calling Madison, but that seems like too much. He’s been told he can be too much, sometimes. He puts his phone back down, flops face down onto his couch for a while, instead. 

Tyson spends the next few days doubling down on getting ready for Christmas. He had, in fact, forgotten that it was coming up so soon, and he still needed to get presents for his grandpa and sister. He digs out his meager box of Christmas decorations and sets them up around his apartment. It’s not very much, but it does go a long way towards making the apartment feel a bit more like home. 

He holds off on texting Madison until Wednesday. He shouldn’t have; his family’s flying in later this evening. They’ll be in town all week, and Tyson might actually go insane if he can’t see Madison, get his hands on her again until after the new year. 

If Tyson ends up picking up his family with sex hair, well. They probably didn’t notice. He’d shoved a ball cap on, anyway, though Kacey still raised her eyebrows at him in the rearview as she slid into the backseat next to their mom. He’d flip her off if he could, but his grandpa is right there.

Tyson makes it through the holiday without an interrogation from his mom and sister, but he knows it’s coming. The blanket Madison had left behind is still laying across the couch, and Kacey’s been curled up under it more often than not. Madison texts Tyson on Christmas morning, a simple merry Christmas! with a heart emoji that has Tyson grinning stupidly at his phone. Kacey clears her throat loudly, on the floor next to Tyson. He feels himself blushing as he fumbles to lock his phone and drop it face down next to him. His mom and sister share a look over his head. 

Madison texts again a few days after Christmas, asking if Tyson wants to grab lunch and hangout. Tyson does, obviously, but he has to figure out how to dodge his family for a few hours, first.

“I’m gonna go workout, I think,” Tyson announces. He needs to find his shoes, a water bottle. He is restless, too many days off in a row. 

Kacey looks up from her computer. “Oh, can I come? I’m supposed to be working out over break, too,” she says. 

“Uh,” Tyson says, trying to stall. He should’ve thought this through better. Kacey raises an eyebrow at him. “I was actually hoping for some time alone, y’know?” Kacey’s other eyebrow raises. 

“Are you saying you’re tired of us?” his mom asks, teasing. 

Tyson’s phone vibrates in his pocket. Madison again. He hasn’t had a chance to respond to her yet. He hates lying to his mom, but he still says, “Yes? No?” Tyson’s never been one to need space. “I just—”

“It’s okay, Tys,” his mom says gently. “Have a good workout, sweetheart.” 

Tyson doesn’t linger, grabbing his coat and shoving his feet into the first pair of shoes he sees on his way out the front door. He texts Madison that he’s on his way in the elevator. He does pick up lunch for both of them, too, on his way over to Madison’s place. He’s thoughtful like that. 

It takes just about all of Tyson’s self-control to actually sit next to Madison on her couch and eat first.

“How’d you ditch your mom and sister?” Madison asks eventually, eyes still on the TV, playing some random Hallmark Christmas movie. 

Tyson swallows. “Told them I was working out,” he admits.

Madison turns to smirk at him. “Working out, huh?” she asks, laughter in her voice. 

Tyson nudges her knee with his foot. “It’s not entirely a lie,” he points out. His lunch is practically finished anyway, so he sets it aside and slides closer to Madison. “I think they’re on to me, though.” He never could hide anything from the people he loves. 

Madison swings her feet into Tyson’s lap. She’s still eating, and Tyson’s about fifteen seconds away from taking her lunch from her and just kissing her. His leg bounces—his restless energy has only gotten worse since landing on Madison’s couch—until Madison digs her heel into his thigh, forcing him to stop. 

She’s looking at him carefully. “Would that be such a bad thing?” she asks. “People knowing about us?”

Tyson considers. It’s not like there’s anything to keep a secret, really. He realizes that no one even knows that he and Madison had hooked up more than just that night at the bar. He hadn’t realized how close he’d been keeping them to his chest. 

Madison’s still waiting for an answer. Tyson squeezes her ankle where it’s still draped across his lap. “I guess not, actually,” he says. 

Madison grins at him and, finally, finally, sets aside the remnants of her lunch. Tyson slides his hands up Madison’s legs, underneath her thighs, and drags her into his lap, finally, finally, getting his mouth on hers. 

Kacey and his mom are waiting for Tyson when he sheepishly slips in his front door an hour later. Kacey’s smirking, leaned up against the counter with her arms crossed. Tyson could kill her. He tugs the collar of his hoodie up, hoping it covers the hickey Madison left on his collarbone. 

“Good workout, Tys?” Kacey asks. Tyson flips her off. Even their mom smacks her arm in reprimand. 

“Great, actually,” Tyson says, allowing himself a moment of smugness in spite of his embarrassment. He hopes he’s not blushing. Kacey laughs. 

“If you’ve gotten yourself a girlfriend, Tyson, you know you could always bring her around,” his mom says gently. Tyson winces. He really hates lying to his mom. And he definitely could not just bring Madison around.

“Yeah,” Kacey chimes in, “I want to meet whoever’s got you sneaking around like an idiot.”

“She’s not—it’s not like that,” Tyson rushes to say. “We’re taking it slow, I guess.” He’s definitely blushing now, his face warm under the matching gazes of his mom and sister. He forces himself to shrug, hands shoved in his hoodie pocket. “We’re just…friends,” he finishes lamely. 

Kacey and his mom pin Tyson with matching pitying, yet disbelieving looks. Tyson hunches his shoulders, nervous underneath their gazes. He thinks of Madison telling him that it’s okay if people know about them. Thinks about having to tell his mom and baby sister that he’s just fucking around with a girl he thinks he could fall in love with, given the chance. He decides against it, for now. 

Tyson shrugs again. “I mean it,” he says. “It’s not really anything right now. I don’t know.” 

He escapes to his bedroom for a shower and to bury his head under a pillow for a while, until he feels like he can face his family again.

The days seem to pass more slowly after that. Tyson works out—for real, thank you very much— and watches way too many cooking shows with Kacey, curled up under a mountain of blankets on the couch. Tyson doesn’t know the last time he got to spend this much time with his family during hockey season. It’s nice, even as he starts getting restless again, anxious to be back on the ice with his teammates. 

There’s a team New Year’s Eve party at Gabe’s. It’s pretty chill, especially as far as team gatherings go, but Tyson maybe has a little too much to drink. He’s surrounded by happy teammates with their significant others, and he’s maybe feeling a little alone. He cracks open another beer.

It’s almost midnight when Tyson sinks onto a couch next to JT and slips out his phone. No notifications. He doesn’t know what he expected. Madison had posted on her story earlier in the night that she was celebrating with friends, too. Tyson stares at his phone for a moment. 

miss you, he carefully types out. It takes him longer than it should to get it right, drunk as he is, squinting at his phone and concentrating really hard on hitting the correct keys.

Madison responds quickly, way faster than Tyson had expected her to. The typing bubble appears almost immediately. Tyson waits.

miss you too tys, it says. Then, please drink some water. 

“Who the fuck is Josty texting?” EJ yells from across the room. Tyson realizes that he’s been smiling stupidly down at his phone. He makes to lock it and put it back away, but he’s not fast enough. JT grabs Tyson’s wrist and wrenches it around so he can see his screen. 

“Who’s Madison?” JT asks, quieter than EJ. He lets Tyson lock his phone, finally.

“She’s—” Tyson pauses. He doesn’t want to say that she’s no one, because that’s not really true. He doesn’t have any other word for her, either.

JT’s been watching Tyson’s face carefully. He knows better than anyone that Tyson isn’t good at hiding his emotions, and something must be showing on Tyson’s face now. JT’s eyebrows raise. 

“Is that the girl you brought home from the bar like a month ago?” JT asks. Tyson hesitates, pulling his hand free from JT’s grasp. Tyson’s hesitation is enough. “Oh my God, are you still fucking her?” 

Tyson winces. It sounds crass when JT says it like that. “We’ve hooked up a few more times,” he admits. JT doesn’t need to know about the number of times she’s slept over, too.

JT laughs at him, shaking his head. “‘Not really looking for anything,’ huh?” he teases, echoing Tyson’s own words from that night in the bar. Was it really only a month ago? Feels like Madison’s been in Tyson’s life way longer than that, with how quickly she’s taken over Tyson’s thoughts.

“I wasn’t!” Tyson protests. He shoves JT a little for good measure. He’s so drunk he doesn’t think it has the intended effect. JT just sways back into Tyson, leaning more of his weight on Tyson’s side. 

It’s almost midnight. Around them, teammates are moving around, finding someone to kiss. Someone’s opened champagne, someone else is passing full flutes around. Tyson takes one when it passes in front of him. JT digs his elbow into Tyson’s ribs one last time before getting up to find Sydney. 

Tyson’s left on the couch, alone. He pulls his phone back out as people begin counting down around him. Madison’s text comes through just as everyone starts cheering and the clock strikes midnight. Happy new year Tyson! 🖤 

Tyson closes his eyes and drains his glass of champagne. 

January

Tyson usually dreads January. It’s a long, cold, and dark month. The grind of the season feels like it’s at its…grindiest. The game days and travel days start to run into each other and turn into one exhausting, never-ending blur. Someone’s always getting sick, or injured, 

He’s perfectly happy to throw himself back into hockey when the new year finally rolls around after so many weeks without it, but he hates how quiet his apartment is without Kacey hanging around, being annoying. He leaves his Christmas decorations up, anything to make his apartment feel lived-in.

Tyson lasts until the team gets back from Chicago on the fifth before he calls Madison again. She doesn’t answer. Tyson stares at his phone after it goes through to voicemail, bewildered. That is, until Madison texts him back and reminds him that she has a “normal job with normal hours.” Right.

Madison calls Tyson back on her way home from work. His groggy, mumbled “‘ello?” makes Madison smile when he answers, voice tinny over her car’s speakers.

“Did I wake you?” she teases. 

Tyson scoffs, but says, “...yeah. Sorry for calling you earlier,” he adds. “I’d just gotten home and wasn’t thinking.” “You can’t just call at 10:30 in the morning on a Wednesday, Tyson,” she admonishes. 

“I know, I’m sorry, I was just—” missing you. Tyson dismisses that thought. Too earnest. “I was just bored,” he finishes. Not much better, actually. 

Madison’s quiet for a while, focused on driving. She realizes she should figure out where she’s actually headed. “Were you calling for any particular reason earlier?” she asks. “I was beginning to think you’d forgotten about me.”

“I could never forget you,” Tyson says quickly. “I just wanted to see you,” he admits after another moment. 

Madison turns on her blinker at a red light. She should be turning left, towards her apartment. She turns right, towards Tyson’s place. “Did you want me to come over,” she asks, wanting to hear Tyson say it.

“I mean, obviously, yeah. I can make us dinner.”

Madison laughs. “Oh, sure, you’re gonna make me some toaster waffles, huh?” She had seen the Instagram stories. “You really know how to woo a girl, Tys.”

She can practically feel Tyson’s playful outrage on the other end of the phone. He sputters for a minute before saying, “Okay, I can order us dinner.” 

Madison’s almost to Tyson’s apartment building. She hates that she already knows how to get there so easily. “Are you going to get your ass out of bed and meet me downstairs?” There’s the sound of something hitting the floor, like Tyson actually rolled out of bed.

“I’ll be right there!” Tyson says, before hanging up. The radio cuts back in, music playing softly to fill in the abrupt silence of the call ending. Madison parks and turns her car off, sitting in silence for a minute. She wonders just what the hell she’s doing, what she’s getting herself into. 

Tyson sprawls onto his couch and pulls Madison into his lap almost immediately after they’re both through the door. Madison rolls her eyes, but she goes willingly. Tyson’s perfectly content to just make out for a while, all sense of urgency gone as soon as he gets his hands on Madison. He’s not sure how long they’re there before he realizes something and pulls away.

“Have you ever been to an Avs game?” he asks.

“What?” Madison lost her shirt at some point, and Tyson’s thumb has been fiddling with one of her bra straps for the last several moments. She’s admittedly a little distracted. She processes what Tyson said. “Tyson, are you seriously thinking about hockey right now?” She tries to roll off his lap, but he digs his hands into her thighs and refuses to let her move.

“I’m always thinking about hockey, a little bit,” he defends. Madison rolls her eyes at him again. What Tyson had really been thinking about was introducing Madison to JT, then he’d remembered that she said she didn’t watch much hockey, and somehow that’s what had come out of his mouth. Madison still looks a little bit like she wants to smack him. “I told my best friend about you,” is what he ends up saying next. “He’s actually the one who pointed you out to me at the bar that night, and he wants to meet you for real.”

JT had actually said that, in between chirps about Tyson’s hooking up habits. Some of the other guys had picked it up, too, but Tyson wasn’t ready to subject Madison to them yet. Except maybe, like, Cale. And maybe after a game at the arena wasn’t the best place to introduce Madison to his friends, but Tyson could get tickets for Madison and a friend, ask Mel to introduce herself or something, and then meet Madison after with JT. 

Tyson realizes Madison hasn’t answered him. She’s still in his lap, but she’s tense. Tyson squeezes her thighs again. 

“You don’t have to, obviously,” he says softly. “I dunno, I just thought you might want to meet the guys.”

Madison relaxes a little. “You really want that?” she asks. 

Tyson can’t help but grin at her. He kisses her again, slowly. “I do.”

Later, when they’re sitting at Tyson’s little table eating dinner—that Tyson did actually cook, thank you very much—Madison knocks her ankle into Tyson’s. Tyson swallows his mouthful of food and traps her foot in between both of his. Madison had gotten re-dressed in one of Tyson’s sweatshirts, and Tyson’s doing his best to feel normal about it. 

“So, did you have a day in mind for me to come to a game, or had you not thought that far ahead?” Madison asks. 

Tyson tries to run through their upcoming schedule in his head. “Uh?” They’re home for a lot of January. “Next Friday, maybe? The…14th?” He can’t remember who they’re playing, but that’s not really important. Tyson squints over at the printout of their schedule he keeps on his fridge. “We wouldn’t be able to hang around because we fly out that night, I think.”

Madison looks faintly overwhelmed suddenly. It might be for the best that the guys will only be able to say hi briefly, actually. “Sure? Whatever you want, Tyson.”

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Tyson reminds her. He feels a bit as if he’s thrown her off the deep end, even though she’s the one who pushed Tyson to tell JT in the first place. 

Madison shakes her head. “No, it’s okay, I just didn’t really expect it.” 

Tyson pulls a face. “Maybe I’m tired of keeping you a secret.” He doesn’t know what he was trying so hard to protect, now. 

Madison stares at him for a long moment, face unreadable. Tyson stares back. Finally, Madison drops her fork with a clatter and leans across the table to kiss Tyson. The fierceness of the kiss surprises him, Madison’s lips hard against his, her hand sliding around the back of his neck. Tyson cups her cheek and tries to soften the kiss, but Madison pulls away just as quickly as she’d kissed him. 

Tyson blinks at her, bemused. He’s not sure what just happened. It feels significant somehow, something unspoken changing between them. Tyson turns back to his dinner.

Madison sees Tyson a few more times over the next week and a half before the game. Tyson acts the same, but Madison feels like she’s on edge, counting down the hours until Friday. Tyson doesn’t seem to notice.

“What the hell am I supposed to wear to a hockey game?” Madison complains over the phone to her older sister, Emma, who she’d asked to come with her on Friday. Emma just laughs at her. Madison’s seen what WAGs wear to games—cute outfits with leather pants and heels. Madison doesn’t own that type of shit, and she’s not really a WAG, besides. She doesn’t own a jersey, either, and it would probably be weird to wear a jersey that’s not Tyson’s anyway. Madison’s pixie pants from Old Navy and sensible work shoes aren’t going to cut it.

“What were you wearing when you met Tyson?” Emma asks, as if she doesn’t know they met in a bar.

Madison snorts. “Nothing that’s appropriate for a hockey game.” Madison regards the handful of sweaters she’s pulled from her closet. One of them is close enough to Avalanche burgundy, maybe. Somewhere in her dirty laundry is one of Tyson’s sweatshirts. Madison’s not bold enough to wear it.

Game day is overwhelming, to say the least. Tyson had gotten them good seats, but Madison’s not used to being around so many people, and it’s noisy all around her. It’s easier to follow the pace of the game in person than on TV, she learns, and her eyes follow Tyson whenever he’s on the ice.

Tyson scores a goal late in the first period, and Madison’s probably the one who cheers the loudest for him. 

Madison waits outside the arena for Tyson after the game. Her sister’s waiting in the car, telling Madison it was too cold to stand around. She watches some of the other players make their way past her and onto a waiting bus. It’s cold, and she hates Tyson briefly. It’s only another few minutes until Tyson appears, closely followed by someone. They’re arguing, but Tyson breaks off as soon as he sees Madison waiting for him.

Tyson forgets himself for a moment. He runs over to Madison and wraps his arms around her waist, picking her up and spinning her once. Madison laughs at him. He ignores JT snickering behind him in favor of leaning down and kissing Madison quickly. 

Madison’s blushing when he pulls away, but it might just be from the cold. 

“Nice goal tonight, babe,” Madison tells him. Tyson just shrugs. 

Behind them, JT clears his throat. Tyson kind of forgot about that part. He drapes an arm around JT’s shoulders and drags him closer. “This asshole is JT,” he tells Madison. “He’s one of my best friends.” To JT, he says, “This is Madison, be nice.”

JT scoffs. “I’m always nice.” He grins at Madison. “I’m also the reason Tyson went up to you at the bar, so I guess you could thank me for whatever’s going on here.” Tyson smacks him. 

“You can get on the bus now, actually,” Tyson says. JT’s laughing again as Tyson tries to elbow him out of the way. Madison’s smiling, too, though, amused by their antics. 

JT does leave, then, and Madison and Tyson are alone. Or, as alone as you can be with half of Tyson’s teammates watching them through the bus windows. Tyson steps closer to Madison.

“Thanks for tonight,” she says. Tyson barely did anything, but he’s not going to say that now. Tyson should really get on the bus, but he can’t tear himself away. Madison’s hand finds his, tangling their fingers together and squeezing once before letting go again. “Text me when you get to the hotel, yeah?”

Tyson has to kiss her again. “I will, I promise.” He really needs to go. One last kiss, pressed to Madison’s cheek this time, then Tyson forces himself to step away. Madison’s gone when he turns around as he steps on the bus. Tyson shakes himself and goes to find JT, flopping into the seat left open for him. 

“You’re in deep, bud,” JT says. Tyson glares at him. 

“God, I know.”

February

Tyson should be planning a vacation somewhere warm. That’s what most of his teammates are doing, with the All-Star break coming up in just a few days, everyone ready to escape winter in Colorado. What Tyson’s doing instead is texting Madison, trying to convince her to spend the week with him. 

He doesn’t understand why she’s being so resistant to the idea. She’s spent nights and weekends with him before. She’s spent more time around his friends, even sticking around the other night when JT and Cale crashed their evening. 

Fine I’ll just stay over at yours then, Tyson finally texts as a last resort. 

Madison leaves him on read for, like, two hours. He spends most of that time trying to figure out what he could have said to make her pull away so suddenly. 

Tyson’s this close to actually driving over to Madison’s to finish this conversation-slash-argument in person when she finally texts him back. 

I don’t think that’s a good idea either, Madison has texted. Tyson stares at it. Tries to type a response, deletes it. 

Before he can think much more about it, Tyson’s grabbing his car keys. He ends up driving aimlessly around Denver for a while before he heads towards Madison’s apartment. He’s worried he’s too upset to go straight over, that he’ll just start saying things he doesn’t mean out of frustration. 

He still knocks on Madison’s door a little too hard, maybe. She looks confused when she answers the door. Tyson realizes he probably should have given her a heads up. 

He’d planned what he wanted to say in the car, but what he blurts out instead is, “What, are you sleeping with someone else on the side?” Tyson could play it off as a joke any other time, but right now it comes out too accusing, too hurt. 

Madison’s face does something complicated before she grabs him by the wrist and hauls him inside. 

“What the fuck, no,” she says. “Tyson, what the fuck?” she repeats.

He crosses his arms. “I don’t get why you don’t want to spend the week off with me.” She’s already spent days at a time in his apartment. This week shouldn’t be any different. 

Madison’s always hated cuffing season, is the thing. Maybe it’s just because she usually finds herself lonely through the winter months. She’s not stupid, this thing with Tyson has an expiration date; if she’s being honest with herself; they’ve been pushing it ever since they extended all of this past a one night stand. With every day that passes, Madison feels herself falling just a little more for Tyson, and she feels the impending end creeping closer. She needs to put some space between them before she gets her heart broken.

She just doesn’t know that Tyson’s busy falling, too. 

Madison doesn’t know how to put all of that into words without blowing up her spot, though. She settles for saying, “I just need some space, I think.” It’s not exactly a lie. 

Tyson’s face falls, and Madison immediately wishes she could take the words back.

Tyson’s quiet for a moment before he quietly says, “I didn’t do anything, did I?”

“No, God, of course not,” Madison rushes to assure him. She tries to collect her thoughts. “It’s just that, with Valentine’s Day coming up, and winter ending, I don’t know, I think I need to figure out what I want.”

Tyson forgot about Valentine’s Day. He doesn’t even know their schedule that far out. He supposes they have been hurtling towards something they’ve yet to define lately. But, “Hey, we’ve got a good thing going right now, don’t we?” Madison nods hesitantly. “Who said anything about changing that?” Tyson’s heart has other ideas, but he can worry about that later. 

Madison takes a deep breath. “I guess,” she says, and Tyson grins at her. 

“I’ll drop the All-Star break thing if you want. I just wanted to spend some time with you.” He doesn’t spend a lot of time with people other than teammates. It’s nice to change things up. 

“Like you wouldn’t be calling me all the time to hook up, anyway,” Madison teases. Tyson can’t argue with that. 

He ends up sticking around for a while, sprawled across Madison’s couch with her tucked against his chest between his legs. Madison turns on The Hobbit, even though Tyson doesn’t think they quite managed to make it through The Return of the King the last time they had a Tolkien marathon. 

When he leaves later, pulling Madison in for a chaste kiss in the doorway, he realizes it’s the longest they’ve spent together without it ending in a hook-up. It’s kind of nice. 

Tyson does back off some after that. All-Star break is already upon them, anyway. He can handle winging it solo for a few days. Probably. 

Actually, now that he thinks about it, he hasn’t properly cleaned his apartment since their last long break back in December. The Avs have been home a lot in January, too, and his fridge is looking pretty bare these days.

He considers texting Madison and asking if she wants to tag along for his groceries, but he thinks that might be crossing the line of “too domestic.” He throws himself into cleaning and does his best to not think about texting her, instead.

It’s Madison who breaks the silence first. She lasts two days. She thought time and distance was what she needed, but that was before she realized how much she missed listening to Tyson chattering at her in between falling into bed. 

She texts, i’m coming over, before she can think better of it. She makes the now-familiar drive to Tyson’s apartment on autopilot. Tyson’s seen her text by the time she parks, and he readily buzzes her into the building. Madison doesn’t even have to knock when she gets to his door; Tyson jerks it open like he’s been waiting, beaming.

“Burky’s here,” he says, pulling Madison in for a kiss. Madison peers around Tyson. She hasn’t met Burky yet, but she vaguely recognizes the guy standing in the middle of Tyson’s living room as another teammate. 

“Hi,” he says. Awkward. Madison likes him.

“This is Madison,” Tyson announces, somewhat needlessly. His brain shorts out a bit after that, unsure what he can call Madison. ‘Friend’? ‘Hookup’? Definitely not ‘girlfriend’.

“Tyson hasn’t stopped talking about you since you came to the game a few weeks ago,” Burky tells Madison, interrupting Tyson’s runaway train of thought.

“Hey,” Tyson whines. “You don’t need to tell her that part.” 

Madison laughs. “Nah, it’s okay, JT’s already told me.”

Tyson’s busy trying to come up with a sufficient way to threaten JT whenever he sees him again as Burky slips out the front door, and suddenly he and Madison are alone. 

Madison starts to apologize for showing up with little warning, but Tyson cuts her off, pushing her—as gently as he can—against the nearest wall and kissing her. 

“Hi,” he breathes when Madison ducks her head to pull away. He kisses her again before he can admit how much he missed her.

“I missed you,” Madison says, which. Tyson can handle that.

“God, me too.” Before, he might have felt overexposed by telling her that, but, now, it’s just comforting to know she misses him the same way he misses her. “I was actually about to make dinner, if you’re hungry?”

He starts to head towards his kitchen, not waiting for Madison to follow. He hadn’t really planned much further than deciding to cook, but he can probably figure out enough to make for two people. Madison leans against the counter as Tyson opens his fridge and peers inside. He could make chicken, but that’s boring.

“I did just buy burger patties,” he says, sort of thinking out loud.

“Tys, make whatever you want,” Madison tells him, laughing a little. “I’ll eat it.”

Tyson twists around to grin at Madison. “Be careful, you haven’t actually seen me cook yet.” 

He’s a passable cook, actually—his mom wouldn’t let him leave for North Dakota before he knew the basics, and he’s only learned more since then. He plucks the burger patties out of the fridge.

Tyson talks while he cooks. He’s not even sure what he’s chatting about after a while, but Madison listens intently to everything he says. She winds up sitting on the counter near him, and he keeps stepping away from the stove to steal kisses in between sentences. He roasts up some red potatoes, too, and digs his hamburger buns out of the freezer. “They last longer,” he tells Madison, sticking two buns in his toaster. “Also, don’t tell Nate I’m eating white bread.”

Madison has not yet met Nathan MacKinnon, and she doesn’t think she’d be telling him what Tyson’s eating for dinner on a night off when she does meet him, either.

Tyson spends almost as much time dramatically plating the food as he did cooking it. Madison pours them both glasses of wine. He finally slides a plate in front of her but whips out his phone before she can take a bite.

Madison groans. “Tyson, oh my God.” She hides behind her wine glass while Tyson takes a picture of their plates.

Tyson reaches across the table to pull Madison’s hand away from her face. “Relax, I’m just sending it to JT.”

Madison scoffs, “Sure, just JT,” but she sets her wine back down.

Tyson tries to sneak another picture of her, but she catches him. The artificial shutter clicks just as she smiles sweetly at Tyson and flips him off.

“Delete that,” she whines.

“Absolutely not.”

They continue to chat over dinner. Tyson drips ketchup on his shirt, and Madison laughs so hard she chokes on her wine, which sets Tyson off, too. It’s several minutes before they can collect themselves again. Until Madison meets Tyson’s eyes across the table and bursts into laughter again.

“What’s so funny?” Tyson whines, still dabbing futilely at the stain on his shirt.

Madison wipes at her eyes, trying to catch her breath. “Nothing, nothing.” It really wasn’t that funny. “I think I’m just over-tired.” She doesn’t tell Tyson that she’s been worrying about him, about their relationship, so much that she hasn’t been able to sleep well.

Tyson frowns at her, anyway, like he knows what she’s not saying. He glances at the time. 

“Do you want to take a nap or something? It’s still early enough.”

Madison knows that if she falls asleep in Tyson’s bed now, she will not be getting out of it until morning at least, and, “I didn’t pack anything.” 

She doesn’t know why she was half-expecting Tyson to shut the door in her face when she arrived. She definitely hadn’t been planning on staying the night. 

Tyson frowns harder. “You can always wear something of mine. Unless…you don’t wanna stay?”

Madison pushes a piece of potato around her plate with her fork for a moment before answering.

“I wasn’t sure you’d want me to stay,” she says quietly.

“What?” Tyson’s so surprised he drops his fork. He snatches it back up and points it accusingly at Madison. “Don’t be ridiculous, of course I want you to stay. I literally always want you to stay.”

Madison can feel herself blushing and she ducks her head so Tyson can’t see.

Tyson goes on. “Plus, it’s a Friday night, we can stay up late and watch a movie, then sleep in tomorrow. I’ll even make you breakfast!”

He’ll probably actually persuade Madison into going out for breakfast, but that’s an argument he’ll save until the morning. Tyson decides he’s done eating and pushes back from the table. He tries to clear Madison’s plate, but she glares at him and swipes her plate away. Tyson makes grabby hands for it.

“C’mon, I’m not making you clean up after yourself, you don’t have to.”

Madison shakes her head and holds her empty plate farther out of Tyson’s reach. “You cooked, I clean, baby.”

“That’s not—” Tyson’s so distracted that Madison snatches his plate and darts towards the kitchen. “Hey!”

He chases after Madison, who’s laughing again. Tyson loves the sound of Madison’s laugh, the way it fills his apartment. He waits until the plates have clattered into the sink to press up behind her. He kisses her shoulder, her neck, before burying his face in the crook of her neck. Madison shudders and leans back into Tyson.

“How about neither of us clean up, and we go watch a movie instead?” Tyson mumbles into Madison’s skin.

Dishes can wait; Tyson needs Madison on top of him, like, five minutes ago. He doesn’t wait for her to respond before he loops an arm around her waist and drags her over to the couch. She grunts when he pulls her on top of him, but she’s pliant as he arranges both of them until they’re comfortable. He even pulls the blanket off the back of the couch and drapes it over Madison’s back.

Madison snuggles in, the top of her head nestled perfectly under Tyson’s chin. He had intended for some making out, but now that they’re there, he’s fine with actually turning on a movie. He’s pretty sure Madison’s eyes are closed already, anyway, her breathing already starting to slow down and even out. Tyson scrolls for a while aimlessly before he settles on something stupid he’s probably seen before. He keeps the volume low. He dozes a little himself, absently rubbing Madison’s back underneath her shirt. She mumbles in her sleep and shifts closer.

It’s late by the time the movie ends, and Tyson rouses himself. They should both move to the bed, but he’s loath to wake Madison. She’s cute when she sleeps.

Tyson nudges Madison gently in the ribs. She stirs and blinks blearily up at Tyson.

“Hm?”

“Let’s get you to bed, baby,” Tyson whispers. He starts to move, and Madison makes a grumpy noise and snuggles back in. “C’mon, c’mon, it’s more comfy, I promise.”

He gets Madison up with quite a bit more poking and prodding. She’s unhappy with being woken up, and Tyson’s doing his best not to laugh at her. He nudges her towards the bathroom and gets a glare for his troubles, but she does dig out her toothbrush. 

Tyson roots around for an old shirt for Madison to wear. He holds it out to her when she emerges from the bathroom, but Madison bypasses the shirt and kisses Tyson instead. He tries to keep it gentle, but Madison whines and presses closer. Tyson drops the shirt in favor of sliding his hands along Madison’s shoulders, her ribs, down her hips. They’re not very coordinated as they fall backwards onto Tyson’s bed. Their feet tangle as Tyson tries to push even closer, pinning Madison to the bed as they continue to kiss.

Madison breaks the kiss to yawn in Tyson’s face.

He huffs out a laugh, and Madison whines again. “No more, or you’re gonna fall asleep on me.”

He watches as Madison squirms around until her head is on her pillow. She’s already half-asleep again. Tyson leans over the foot of the bed and fishes around for the sleep shirt he dropped. He tosses it to Madison, and it lands on her face. She tears it away to glare at him.

Tyson’s even polite and doesn’t stare at Madison’s chest as she strips off the shirt she had been wearing and shimmies into his shirt.

He also wins the argument over breakfast the next morning, and triumphantly takes Madison to breakfast at Snooze. Madison’s grouchiness only lasts until a plate of French toast lands in front of her. 

They’re out of town the day before Valentine’s Day. It’s just Dallas, and they’ll fly home after the game, but Tyson’s not actually sure where the line is between him and Madison and February 14th. Romantic dinner is absolutely out of the question. So are roses, probably. Tyson still wants to do something though, which is how he ends up on the website for a local flower shop while he’s supposed to be napping after skate. He scrolls for a few minutes before he remembers that he’s colorblind, and he should probably enlist some help.

JT and his judgmental eyebrows are at Tyson’s hotel room door seven minutes later. He shoulders his way past Tyson without a word, settles next to Tyson’s laptop on the bed.

“Flowers?” JT asks. “For your not-girlfriend?” He’s still being judgy, but Tyson knows he’s amused a little, too.

“Shut up, at least I’m not sending her roses,” Tyson says, trying to defend himself. He flops down on the bed next to JT. JT’s already busy scrolling. ”You need help picking the right colors, don’t you,” he says, teasing.

“Maybe.” Tyson’s never really understood flowers—they all sort of look the same to him—but girls are supposed to like them. Tyson’s never claimed to understand girls, either. 

JT clicks around a few times before he punches Tyson in the shoulder.

“Ow,” he complains, sitting up and peering over JT’s shoulder. “...What am I looking at?”

JT sighs. “I don’t know, some pink and purple flowers.”

Tyson squints closer at the photo of the arrangement JT picked. “Wait, is that a rose? I said no roses.”

“It’s pink, it’s fine.” JT tilts the screen away for a second. “You’re adding on a stuffed animal.”

“I am?” JT gives him a look. “I mean, sure.” JT turns the laptop back towards Tyson, and he dutifully fills in his credit card information. He has to hunt for Madison’s address in his phone, but then he’s pressing the confirmation button, and that’s it. “That’s it? That was easy.” 

JT snorts and shuts Tyson’s laptop. “Sure, easy after you asked me for help.” He facewashes Tyson. “You’re welcome.” 

“I’ll buy your coffee before the game,” Tyson offers, ignoring JT’s sarcasm. “Besides, you’re the one of us in a cute, long-term relationship.”

JT smirks at Tyson over his shoulder, heading for the door. “You could change that for yourself, you know.” 

“Working on it!” Tyson yells as the door shuts behind JT.

Tyson mostly forgets about the flowers after that, with the game, and the flight home, and crashing into bed and sleeping for almost ten hours. He hopes Madison likes them, hopes he isn’t pushing it too far.

Madison isn’t expecting the knock she gets on her door the next morning. She’s even more surprised when she opens her door and finds a small vase of flowers waiting on her doormat. There’s a teddy bear propped up next to the flowers; she hugs it to her chest as she carries the flowers inside. She has to set the teddy back down with the flowers to take a picture to send to Tyson.

She sends, should I be worried about a secret admirer? Tyson, eternal dork that he is, sends back the smirking emoji and the emoji blowing a kiss. Madison adds a selfie of herself hugging the bear and says, come cuddle?

Tyson probably, maybe, goes a little over the speed limit on his way to Madison’s. 

March

Fucking Calgary. Tyson’s face hurts. He gingerly sticks his tongue through the gap where his front teeth used to be, but moving hurts too much. He sits back in the passenger seat of JT’s car with a quiet groan. The training staff had been adamant that Tyson couldn’t drive himself home, and Tyson wasn’t really in any shape to put up a fight. JT looks at him sideways, something amused in the tilt of his eyebrows.

All this and they didn’t even fucking win. 

“Want me to call your mom?” JT asks. 

Tyson groans again. He really should call her. He knows she’s worried, and if he doesn’t tell her he’s fine—mostly— she’ll probably take the next flight into Denver to check on him herself. She’s pretty great like that. 

He should probably text Madison, too. 

What Tyson really wants to do is go home and pass out for about twelve hours. He’s already scheduled for emergency dental work in the morning, though, and then Tyson’s going to have to beg the training staff to let him play on the road trip they’re about to head on. He hasn’t even packed yet. 

JT holds his hand out for Tyson’s phone. Tyson fishes it out of his hoodie pocket and slaps it into JT’s hand. JT waves it at him.

“Unlock it, dumbass,” JT says. Tyson could grumble about how JT definitely knows his passcode, but he just takes his phone back. “And dial your mom while you’re at it, I can’t do it while driving.” Tyson settles for a disgruntled huff and does as he’s told. 

He only half-listens, eyes closed, as JT talks to his mom, repeated reassurances that he’s fine, and, no, she doesn’t need to come down, and, yes, JT will keep an eye on him. 

They’re almost to Tyson’s apartment by the time JT hangs up. He doesn’t hand Tyson’s phone back. Tyson cracks open his eyes to squint at JT.

“Need me to call your little girlfriend, too?” he asks. The way he says it isn’t mean, but Tyson bristles anyway.

“Not my girlfriend,” he manages, swiping for his phone. Not yet, anyway, or maybe not ever. Tyson’s working on it. JT lets him take it, but Tyson doesn’t miss the raised eyebrow he gets before JT turns back to the road.

JT insists on walking Tyson to his front door, then following him inside. Tyson’s too tired to begrudge the fussing. Plus, he does feel like shit, and it’s kind of nice, even if he’ll never, ever tell JT that. JT hovers in the bedroom doorway as Tyson kicks off his slides and faceplants into his pillow.

“Ow,” he says, gingerly turning back over.

JT snorts at him. “Need anything?” The trainers gave Tyson painkillers after the game, and it’s not like he can brush his teeth—or what’s left of them, anyway. He settles for flipping off JT. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll lock the door on my way out.” Tyson probably owes him one after this. 

He barely remembers to text Madison a thumbs up emoji before he falls asleep.

Tyson grimaces when he sees himself in the mirror the next morning. His jaw is swollen and bruised, and he can barely open his mouth. He’s not sure he wants to see the state of his teeth, anyway. A knock on his door drags him away from his mirror.

Madison knocks again, unsure if Tyson’s awake. She should’ve called, or texted, before she showed up. She shifts anxiously from foot to foot while she waits for Tyson to answer. It’s only another few seconds before the door swings open, and Tyson appears. He looks miserable as he leans against the door. 

“You look like shit,” Madison says. She waits until he steps back before pushing past him and inside his apartment. 

“Thanks,” Tyson mumbles, following Madison to the kitchen. 

She hops up onto the counter and thrusts one of the smoothies in her hand at Tyson. “Breakfast,” she says.

Tyson takes it and takes a wary sip. It’s his favorite flavor, and he takes a bigger drink. He’s halfway through slurping his smoothie before he remembers to say anything else.

“I’ve, uh, got the dentist this morning, then I’ve gotta meet the team to fly to New York,” he tells Madison. He talks carefully around his swollen gums. 

Madison shrugs. “Just wanted to check on you, bud,” she says. She sets her smoothie aside and holds her arms out to Tyson. He steps into her arms and lets her hold him. He wraps his arms around her waist and buries his face in the crook of her neck. “Looked pretty rough out there last night.”

Tyson grunts. Madison pokes him in the ribs until he squirms away. He takes a petulant drink of his smoothie.

“Do you need any help with anything?” she asks. 

Tyson still hasn’t packed. His dirty laundry has piled up. He should really clean his apartment. 

Instead, he shakes his head, muttering, “You don’t have to.”

“That’s not what I asked, Tys,” she says, crossing her arms. She stares him down. 

Tyson cracks. “I’ve just got a bunch of cleaning to do, is all.” It hurts to talk too much. He forces himself to shrug, tries to do the math on how much time he has before the dentist and before heading to the airport to get everything done. 

Madison doesn’t seem concerned. “Okay, where do you want to start?”

“You don’t-” Tyson starts. You should just leave, he wants to say, but doesn’t. 

“Shut up and drink your smoothie, Jost,” Madison tells him. 

Tyson shuts up and drinks his smoothie. 

He goes to start a load of laundry while Madison tackles his kitchen. He’d run the dishwasher the day before, but what hadn’t fit had piled up in the sink, and he had never exactly gotten around to emptying it. More dirty dishes piled up in the sink. Tyson stands in his bedroom for a moment, listening to the sounds of Madison putting things away in his cabinets.

He doesn’t know when she learned where everything goes.

They work around each other in silence for a while. Tyson stops a few times and watches the confidence and comfort with which Madison moves around his apartment. He likes it more than he should, probably. 

He’s got clothes in the dryer when he realizes he should’ve left already. He’d gotten a lot of work done the night before, and he’s got more appointments for when they get back to Denver at the end of the week.

He looks around his half-cleaned apartment in despair. He’d managed to pack enough to get by, he thinks. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s had to borrow socks from JT on a road trip, anyway. Madison must see the look on his face, because she walks over to Tyson. He looks down at her as she places her hands on his hips.

“Go, I can handle the rest of this,” she says. They’d made good progress, but most of Tyson’s laundry—anything that hadn’t gotten immediately packed—still needs to be folded. “Just leave me the apartment key. I’ll finish up, and make sure everything’s locked up. Promise,” she tells him.

Tyson can’t ask her to do that, and he tells her as much. That’s like. Girlfriend shit. He doesn’t say that part. 

What he ends up saying is, “Are you sure? You really don’t have to.” 

Madison leans up on tiptoes to press a quick close-mouthed kiss to Tyson’s lips. “I know. But I want to help you, babe. Let me help you.” 

Tyson sighs. This isn’t a fight he’s going to win. Madison watches him with something like satisfaction on her face as he finds his keys, carefully unhooks his apartment key and hands it over, but there’s something soft in her eyes, too. Tyson can’t bear to think too hard about what that look means, so he steps around Madison and goes to grab his bags.

Tyson gives her a quick kiss on his way past. He wants nothing more than to kiss her properly, like she deserves, but he doesn’t think his jaw could handle that. Madison grabs Tyson’s wrist before he can get far. He turns to look at her again, a question on the tip of his tongue, when she slips a hand around the back of his neck and pulls him down to kiss him again. It’s almost desperate, but slow and gentle. Tyson lets himself get lost in it for a second. Madison squeezes his neck once before she pulls away. She gives him a soft smile. Tyson presses his forehead to hers for another second before he regretfully pulls away. 

“See you in a few days,” she whispers. 

Tyson deserves all the chirps he gets for being late.

The road trip fucking sucks, to say the least. Tyson’s jaw hurts more often than it doesn’t, and he ends up with more penalty minutes than points. He’s looking forward to going home and sleeping in his own bed for a minimum of twelve hours.

He panics, too, a little. It’s become startlingly obvious that he’s fucking head over heels for Madison, and he has no clue what to do about it. They’ve got a good thing going, he thinks, and he doesn’t want to mess with it, really. He doesn’t really want things to stay how they are, either. 

So, panic. He thinks about JT calling Madison his girlfriend, just a few days before. He thinks of his own realization that the lines between hooking up and relationship have become blurred. What he needs is distance, some clarity. The time difference between Denver and the East Coast is an easy enough excuse to start; they’re busy, and it’s easy to let texts from Madison go unanswered for a few hours, or a few hours longer than a few hours. 

Madison must get the hint, because her texts peter out after a few days. 

Tyson is trying to find his keys in his carry-on bag as they step off the plane when he remembers that he left them with Madison so she could lock up his apartment for him. He’s locked out of his apartment and being iced out by Madison, and all he really wants is to go to sleep and not talk to anyone.

He sheepishly calls Madison as he leaves the airport. She sounds normal when she answers, and she doesn’t hesitate to say, “Sure,” when he asks if he can pick up his keys. Tyson climbs into his car tiredly and puts Madison’s address into his phone GPS.

Tyson’s only been to Madison’s place a few times. He hasn’t realized until now that he usually prefers having her over at his apartment. He likes seeing her there, forcing him to make room for herself in his life, at ease in his bed. He shakes those thoughts off. 

Madison makes him wait when he knocks on her apartment door. He stands awkwardly with his hands in his pockets. Finally, after what feels like forever, Madison swings the door open. She doesn’t move back to let Tyson in, keys already in her hand. 

“Hi,” Tyson breathes. Madison raises an eyebrow at him. Tyson gets the sudden urge to apologize. He rubs the back of his neck nervously. “Thanks again, uh, for helping me with everything,” he says eventually. “I owe you.” He hasn’t seen his apartment yet, obviously, but he knows Madison left it cleaner than it’s been since he moved in, probably. Madison’s breath catches. That was the wrong thing to say. “No, you don’t, Tyson,” she says shortly. She tosses Tyson his keys. He’s not expecting it and fumbles them. The sound of them hitting the ground is deafening. Tyson’s exhausted, and he’s only so strong.

“Can I come in?” he asks. “Please?”

Madison regards him. Tyson looks pathetic, if she’s being honest with herself, worn-out and worn-down. His swelling has gone down since she last saw him, but he looks uncomfortable. She gets the feeling it’s not just about his jaw. She, too, is only so strong. “C’mere,” she says, finally stepping back and opening the door wider. Tyson’s so relieved he could cry.

Tyson ends up collapsing in Madison’s bed and sleeps for twelve hours, face buried in a pillow that smells like her. So much for getting some distance. 

Madison’s waiting outside Tyson’s apartment door when he gets home after beating Calgary a few nights later. Tyson’s tired, and cold, but he feels himself grinning when he sees her. She’s leaning casually against his door frame, playing idly on her phone, but she’s wearing one of Tyson’s hoodies. He wants nothing more than to kiss her right there, but he settles for bumping her out of the way with his hip so he can unlock his front door.

“What if JT had come home with me, huh? Or Cale?” Tyson asks instead of saying hello. She follows him inside and locks the door behind her. Tyson busies himself with his coat so he doesn’t blurt out something dumb. He and JT weren’t quite as inseparable as they used to be, but it could happen. And Cale only lived a few floors away. Though, now that Tyson thought of it, he hadn’t been inviting teammates over after games very much lately, not when there was usually someone else waiting for him.

He’s seen Madison since they got back from their road trip, but he misses her so much when she’s not around now. He can’t get enough of her. That probably means something. He’s working on it. Sort of. 

“Hello to you, too, Tys,” she scoffs, kicking off her shoes. She carefully aims one at Tyson’s shin.

“Hey, hey, watch the suit pants,” he protests. He gives in and steps closer to her, looping an arm around her waist and pulling her into him. He allows himself a quick kiss, just a chaste one, forcing himself to pull away before either of them can deepen it.

She pouts at him. Tyson allows himself one more kiss. He is beginning to realize that he is so, so fucked.

Tyson strips off his suit jacket as he heads towards the kitchen. She trails after him. Tyson swings around to walk backwards so he can face her. He immediately bumps into the doorway to the kitchen and stumbles. He doesn’t turn back around.

“Snack first,” he says. He doesn’t say what comes next, but he’s pretty sure they both know.

“Didn’t you eat after the game at the Can?” she asks. Tyson drops his suit jacket on one of his kitchen chairs. She picks it up with a sigh and a small smile before draping it nicely over the back of the chair instead. 

Tyson turns back around, intent on digging through his fridge. “Well, yeah, but—” He freezes. Blinks. There are balloons tied to the faucet of his sink. Next to them, a cookie cake and two wrapped presents. Tyson peers closer at the cookie cake. Happy birthday, Tys! It reads, in looping cursive. 

Tyson turns slowly back to face her. She looks shy, biting her lip and watching Tyson with something like nervousness written across her face. Tyson feels guilty, suddenly, for the way he tried to put distance between them just a few days before. 

“How did you—When?” Tyson gets out. She doesn’t look any less nervous, he realizes, and he rushes over to hug her.

She holds up a familiar key when he lets her go, the beginnings of a smile on her face, now. “Cale slipped me your spare key,” she explains. “I snuck in after you left for the game this afternoon, after I got off work.” 

Tyson had completely forgotten that he and Cale had swapped spares when they ended up living in the same building. The idea was to save them from the potential embarrassment of locking your keys in your apartment, but apparently Cale was using his for more nefarious purposes now. 

Madison had been surprised at how easy it had all been. She doesn’t even remember when she got Cale’s number, but he had readily agreed to help her out some. She’d even considered sticking around and surprising Tyson when he got home, but she still wasn’t quite sure how he’d react. She couldn’t tell with him sometimes.

Tyson has to kiss her. She giggles, breathless, when he pulls away.

“Well, now I know what we’re eating for a snack,” Tyson says, taking her hand and dragging her towards the island. He only lets go long enough to dig through a drawer for a knife and to tear off two paper towels. He cuts two large slices and hands one to her. He shoves a bite of cookie cake in his mouth before he says, I love you.

She hops up on the counter when they’ve both finished their slices, swinging her feet into the cabinets. Tyson steps between her legs and kisses her again, because he can. He reaches behind her and picks up one of the wrapped packages. It’s small, light. He flips it over once in his hands. “Hey, your birthday isn’t until tomorrow,” she says, swiping for the present. 

Tyson holds it out of her reach, and she wraps her legs around his waist, pressing him close against her. Tyson takes a deep breath.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” he says. He sticks a finger underneath a flap in the wrapping paper. He really hadn’t been expecting anything.

She shrugs. “It’s stupid,” she says. 

“Good thing I like stupid,” Tyson counters. He tears into the wrapping paper properly, letting it drop carelessly to the ground. He’s left with a small book. “It’s a ukulele book?” 

“It’s sheet music, so you can finally stop playing the same three songs all the time,” she says.

Tyson realizes he hasn’t said anything else. He stops staring and sets the book aside. “It’s perfect, not stupid,” he says. She tilts her chin for another kiss. Who is he to say no? “Thank you,” he murmurs against her lips. He reaches for the second present, still kissing her. She groans at him.

Tyson tears into the second present just as eagerly as the first. She’s laughing at him, and this time he crumples the wrapping paper up and tosses it at her face. It’s just a case of beer, Tyson’s favorite. He hadn’t realized she noticed it was always stocked in his fridge. 

Her legs are still wrapped around his waist, and Tyson presses closer, as close as he can get. The counter digs into the tops of his thighs, but he’s too busy making out to care. She slides her hands into his hair. She tastes like cookie cake and peppermint Chapstick; Tyson would kiss her forever if he could. 

Speaking of. They fell over the last time Tyson tried to carry her to his bedroom, but he slides his hands underneath her thighs, anyway, tugging her off the counter. She slips down, still pinned between Tyson and the countertop, still kissing him languidly. 

“Gonna actually move at any point?” she eventually asks, pulling away to press her forehead to Tyson’s. 

Tyson pretends to think about it. “I mean, we don’t have to go to bed,” he says. Not being on a bed hadn’t stopped them before.

She pushes on Tyson’s chest, and he goes, laughing. She lets herself be dragged to Tyson’s room, kicking the door shut behind her. 

It’s late by the time they tumble into bed for real. She’s in one of Tyson’s shirts, and nothing else. If Tyson weren’t actually exhausted, he’d be considering round two. He had nearly gotten caught while they were cleaning up in the bathroom after round one, sleepily staring as she took off her makeup and brushed her teeth—a bottle of her makeup remover and her toothbrush live on Tyson’s sink, and have for months. Tyson tries not to look into it too much. 

“What?” she’d asked, catching Tyson’s eye in the mirror.

He had shaken himself. “Nothing,” he said, giving her a sleepy grin. He pressed a kiss to her temple as he slipped out of the bathroom.

Madison watches him go. She’s trying to decipher that look in his eyes. His face was soft, fond behind drowsy eyes. She realizes she’s frozen with her toothbrush still in her mouth. Tyson’s waiting for her. 

He’s staring up at the ceiling fan, rotating slowly above him, when she emerges and slips under the covers next to him. Her toes are cold where she presses them to Tyson’s leg, and he swears under his breath, even as he reaches across the bed to pull her closer. He presses a kiss to her hair and rests his chin on top of her head. Madison hides a smile in his chest. 

Tyson wakes up slowly the next morning. It’s still early, the sunlight filtering through his curtains the hazy grey of dawn. Madison’s still asleep next to him when he rolls over. Tyson dares to pull her closer until she’s tucked underneath his chin again. Madison stirs a little, making a soft noise and pressing closer. She pulls back and blinks sleepily up at Tyson.

“Happy birthday, Tyson,” she murmurs. 

Tyson grins at her and brushes a stray piece of hair out of her eyes. He kisses her quickly, and she makes a soft noise and leans into it before yawning. “Thank you,” Tyson whispers back. “Now go back to sleep.” 

Madison grumbles, but snuggles back in, pressing her nose to Tyson’s collarbone. 

It’s brighter out when Tyson next blinks himself awake. Madison’s already awake this time, scrolling quietly on her phone, but she sets it aside when she sees Tyson look at her. He rolls so he can prop himself up on one hand, leaning over Madison. She grins up at him, reaches to slide her fingers into Tyson’s hair.

Tyson has practice today, and then they’re leaving again. Those things aren’t important right now, though. What’s important is Madison’s mouth opening up to his, the pressure of her knee against his hip, the feel of her skin underneath his fingers when he slips a hand below her shirt. 

It takes them a while to get out of bed. 

Madison moves easily around Tyson when they finally make it into the kitchen. Tyson makes Madison coffee the way she likes it and mans the toaster while Madison makes them both eggs. She showers—Tyson bought all of her shower products weeks ago—while Tyson gets dressed. Tyson perches on the bathroom counter and watches while she does her makeup. She catches him looking at her.

“What?” she asks. She pushes her hair out of her face nervously. 

“Uh,” Tyson says. He had gotten caught up, wasn’t really thinking about anything, distracted by thoughts of how easily Madison moves through his space, by his side.

“Tyson,” Madison says, impatient.

“Do you, uh, maybe wanna go on a date with me?” Tyson manages. 

“Tys, you’re leaving on a road trip in,” she checks the time on her phone, “like four hours.”

Tyson rolls his eyes. “Okay, but we’ll be back in a few days. What about then?”

Madison smiles. “We’ll see, ask me when you get back.” 

“That’s not a real answer,” Tyson says. He can hear himself whining. He needs this answer before he can board a plane, though. He grabs her wrist and tugs her closer. “C’mon, am I really that bad?”

She goes easily into Tyson’s side. She pretends to think about it for a moment—too long for Tyson’s nerves—before relenting. “When you get back,” she says. She goes up on her toes to kiss Tyson’s cheek. “Now get out of here before you’re late to practice.”

They don’t get to go on that date.

He’s in California when he gets the call. Minnesota. It’s not like he didn’t see it coming. The deadline’s coming up in, like, a week, and besides. He’d asked for a trade, hadn’t he? He doesn’t say goodbye to anyone before he’s back on a plane, this time to St. Paul. 

He calls his mom first, asks if she’ll pack him some shit from his apartment in Denver. He was supposed to be back in just a few days. 

“I don’t have any clothes for fucking Minnesota,” he complains, his one moment of self-appointed wallowing. He’ll be happy about this, probably, he just needs to process it.

He doesn’t think about it when he turns his phone off before getting on the plane. He’s met by some people from the Wild—the team, his team, now—at the airport in St. Paul, hustled to a hotel near Xcel Center with his meager belongings and left to “settle in.” He’s expected at morning skate tomorrow; his jaw aches.

They’ve put him up in a nice hotel downtown. He can see a river—the Mississippi, he thinks— out his window. His phone’s still off, tossed on the bed when he came in. He swipes it off the comforter and powers it back on, shoving it and a room key in his pocket on his way out the door. 

His hotel room is too stuffy, too small. He takes the stairs and pushes his way outside. He can see the Xcel Center a few blocks away, and he turns his back to it, starts walking. He has no idea where he is or where he’s going. He hopes no one recognizes him. 

It’s not long before he finds himself in a park alongside the river. It’s quiet, and no one looks twice at him as he finds an empty bench and finally pulls out his phone. He scrolls through his notifications: texts from Kacey and his grandpa—he’ll have to respond to them—dozens from his—former—teammates on the Avs that he ignores, a handful from numbers he doesn’t have saved, Wild players introducing themselves and welcoming him to the team—he’ll have to make some new contacts. He swipes everything away to deal with later, once his head stops spinning. He pauses on one text, the only one he’d really been looking for.

So much for that date, huh. it says. She’s added a broken heart emoji to soften the blow. Then, an hour later, call me when you get the chance. Another emoji at the end, a black heart, even though Tyson’s told her repeatedly that he can mostly tell colors apart.

He already knows what she’s going to say. Can you get broken up with before you’re even dating? How do you make friends-with-benefits work long-distance? Tyson’s not in the mood for that conversation, doesn’t know if he ever will be. He swipes away her notifications, too. 

Minnesota is chilly, and Tyson’s fingertips are a little numb by the time his hotel room door slams behind him later. It’s getting dark. He should order dinner. He should do a lot of things, actually. He lets himself wallow for a few more minutes, flopped on his back in the center of the bed, staring up at the dark ceiling.

He halfheartedly peruses the room service menu on his nightstand before calling something in. He’s not even sure what he ordered. 

Tyson’s woken up by knocking on his door. He blinks awake and stumbles blearily out of bed. It’s fully dark in his room now. Room service knocks on his door again. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Tyson grumbles, not even loud enough to be heard, probably. 

His food is lukewarm at best by the time he gets everything spread out on the little desk in his room. Tyson picks at it more than he eats it.

Back in Denver, Madison’s phone doesn’t ring. She figured Tyson would be busy and exhausted by the time he made it to Minnesota. She wants to check in, but her messages show that they’ve been read. He’s made it clear that he’s not in the mood to chat. 

It’s fine. He’s allowed to be upset over all this. Madison had just thought that they’d made it far enough in their relationship—whatever that relationship was—that she wouldn’t get stonewalled the second something serious happened. 

She hasn’t had a chance to return Tyson’s spare key to Cale yet. She’d stayed behind after Tyson left for the airport on his birthday to clean up some of the disaster they’d left behind the night before. She was going to give it back when they got home. Except now Tyson’s not coming home, and she isn’t sure he’ll speak to her again, either. 

She tries to convince herself she’s not hurt by it. 

Madison sneaks back into Tyson’s apartment the day after the trade. She’s collected some of Tyson’s clothes over the last few months, and she should pick up her own belongings that have become scattered across his apartment. She’s not sure how Tyson’s going to get the rest of his stuff to Minnesota, but she knows it’s not her problem. Tyson’s made that clear. 

She opens the text thread with Tys 🖤 again anyway. No new messages. She starts to type, to ask how Tyson’s doing, if he wants to talk, but she deletes it all. She closes her text thread with him again.

Madison wanders around the apartment, collecting things she recognizes as her own: her toothbrush, a half dozen ponytail holders that Tyson delights in tearing out of her hair to make out, the makeup remover that Tyson bought after she fell asleep there the first time and left makeup all over his pillowcase. She leaves the clothes she dug out of her closet and drawers folded on the end of his bed. She keeps one of his hoodies, because it’s comfy and it smells like him. It’s an Avs hoodie, anyway; it’s not like he’ll need it. The cookie cake she bought for his birthday is still sitting on the counter. They’d eaten it with breakfast on his actual birthday, but it was otherwise untouched. She figures someone will be by soon to pack up his apartment. She leaves it on the counter for them, whoever it is.

She locks the door behind her. It feels final in a way that she hates. 

Tyson drags himself to morning skate early the next morning. He doesn’t feel like he slept much, though he fell asleep before he ever got around to responding to anyone’s texts. He makes no less than four wrong turns trying to find the home locker room in Xcel Center. The equipment staff has a locker set up for him already, all of his new gear waiting for him when he finds it. Tyson stares at the white practice jersey for a long moment, the green helmet already fitted with his full face shield and new number. He’s the only one in the locker room so far.

Tyson feels himself smile for the first time in what feels like days. 

Skate passes in a blur. Tyson throws himself into everything the coaches ask of him, trying his best to learn a new team on the fly. His muscles ache from all the travel in the last few days and the lack of sleep, but he leans into the pain with a grin. It’s fun, in a weird way, and everyone’s quick to chirp Tyson, make him feel like he’s already a real part of the team. 

Madison watches the Wild’s game that night. Tyson’s still in his little fishbowl after the broken jaw, and Madison winces every time he takes a check, even though she knows he’s fine, really. Minnesota wins. She doesn’t watch any of their other games, or follow Minnesota on any socials. She considers blocking Tyson’s phone number, the last message she sent to him still sitting open and unreplied to. 

She can’t bring herself to do it. 

Tyson’s mom, ever the lifesaver, arrives a few days later with most of the contents of his closet in tow. She’s also brought the cookie cake Madison had bought him for his birthday. It’s half-eaten and stale, now, reading only “-hday, Tys!” He eats a piece, anyway, and his mom doesn’t ask who bought it for him. She doesn’t ask any questions, actually, which Tyson is grateful for. He’s told her bits and pieces about Madison over the last few months, but he hasn’t told her how he’s fallen in love. It doesn’t matter now.

Tyson’s trying to unpack, give himself some semblance of “home” in his stale hotel room, when a piece of paper falls out of the pocket of one of his suit jackets. He picks it up and carefully unfolds it, though he already knows what it says. good luck tonight! ♡ in Madison’s pretty cursive. She’d tucked it into his suit before a game in January, and Tyson had scored a goal that night. He slipped it back in the inside pocket of the suit jacket. Maybe it’ll bring him luck in Minnesota, too. 

Madison’s phone rings late one night, a few weeks after Tyson’s been traded. It’s the first time she’s heard from him since he left Denver. She squints at her phone screen in the dark, debating ignoring it. Tyson’s face grins up at her, a stupid selfie he had taken ages ago. She swipes to answer with a sigh.

“Tyson, if you’re just calling because you’re drunk or something, I swear—” she starts. She’s not really sure what she’ll do to Tyson, actually, so she trails off. 

Tyson’s quiet on the other end of the line. Madison hears him take a shaky breath, but he still doesn’t speak for a long moment. “The Avs are in town,” he says finally. “Game’s tomorrow night,” he adds. 

Madison hasn’t really been paying attention to either team’s schedule lately. She hasn’t had much reason to. She’s not sure what she’s supposed to say here, what’s the right answer to comfort Tyson. She might’ve once, but she feels wrong-footed now, unsure of where they stand.

“You gonna see anyone?” she asks.

Tyson huffs. “Yeah, I got dinner with some of them tonight.” He pauses. “They’re still my friends, y’know, it’s not like they’re the ones who traded me.”

Madison hums, something like agreement. She thinks she can hear the hurt in Tyson’s voice, even though he’s trying to hide it. He’s still talking. “I’ve just…never had to play against my best friends like this before.”

“Oh, Tys,” Madison says softly. “That sucks, babe.” The familiar endearment slips out before she can stop herself. 

“Yeah, it sucks alright,” Tyson agrees. He’s quiet again. “Wish you could be here, too. Miss you.”

“You don’t mean that,” Madison says. With the game tomorrow, Tyson might not be drunk, but it’s late, and he’s wallowing in missing his friends. She doesn’t think she really qualifies as that anymore.

“What do you mean?” Tyson asks, indignant. “Of course I mean it.”

“Is that why this is the first time we’ve spoken since you got traded? Two weeks ago?” Madison’s angry, suddenly; that small spark of hurt she’s been trying to bury flares into fury. 

She can practically hear Tyson’s wince on the other end of the line. It’s too late to be arguing, but this is where they’re at now. 

“Sorry for not wanting to get dumped hours after I got shipped off to fucking Minnesota,” Tyson snaps back, but he sounds tired. The fight leaves Madison just as quickly as it appeared. “Who said anything about breaking up?”

Tyson’s quiet. Madison can picture the way his eyebrows furrow when he’s thinking too hard. “You asked me to call you!”

“I asked you to call me because I wanted to check on you, dumbass.” Madison rubs at her eyes. They should both be asleep, but now she feels too awake to hang up, to end this conversation. She might be annoyed, but it’s the first time she’s heard Tyson’s voice in weeks. She’s missed it, though she’s not about to admit that right now. “How can I even break up with a guy I’ve never been on a real date with?” she asks.

“Oh.” 

“It’s been a wild fucking month for you, Tys, I wanted to talk to you and see how you were handling shit,” Madison continues.

Tyson realizes now might not be the best time to admit that he’d requested a trade. This had still blindsided him, somehow. He considers switching to a FaceTime call. He desperately wants to see Madison’s face, the next best thing to being with her right now, getting to touch her. He winces again when she sniffles on the other end of the line. He’d been lonely when he called her, expecting some sympathy, not the anger he was met with. 

He guesses he probably should’ve considered she’d be mad at him after moving over 900 miles away and then giving her radio silence for two weeks, actually. He taps the FaceTime button a little harder than necessary. He’s almost surprised when Madison accepts the request.

He runs a hand through his hair. “I’ve been busy,” he says weakly. “I didn’t think—I just figured you were wanting to tell me that we couldn’t keep doing this.” It seems obvious given the distance, but Tyson really hadn’t been in the mood to get effectively broken up with twice in one day. 

Madison’s eyes burn as she swipes at them, and she’s not sure if it’s because of the late hour, or if she’s about to cry. 

Tyson realizes something. “Besides, you had just gotten spooked and tried to slow things down, I didn’t think you’d want to jump from just hooking up to long-distance.” It’s too dark for him to tell if she’s crying. He hopes she isn’t. 

“That was—” Madison starts to protest. But Tyson’s right. It had only been a few weeks since she’d panicked about how fast they were headed towards a real relationship. That had been before the broken jaw, before Tyson’s birthday, before he got traded. Before Madison had the chance to realize just how much she cared about Tyson, and liked Tyson, and how much she missed him when he wasn’t just a text away.

“I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend for real, you know? On that date? But then I was in Minnesota, and I hadn’t even gotten to say goodbye to anyone, and I wasn’t ready to talk about anything.” Madison opens her mouth to argue more, but Tyson cuts her off. “You want to know how I’m handling shit? Not well,” he admits.

Hockey is hockey, but he’s not sure Minnesota will ever feel like home the way Denver still does. 

“The fuck is wrong with you?” Madison blurts.

Tyson laughs in spite of himself. “So many things,” he says. It’s easy, for a second, to forget they’re arguing. Fuck, he wishes Madison were with him, and not for the first, or the third, or the tenth time since he’s been in Minnesota. “I guess I should’ve texted instead of shutting you out, huh? I just never knew what to say.”

“You’re an idiot,” Madison says softly. “I really did just want to check on you. But you left me on read, and then a few days had passed, so I guess you’d made it pretty clear that you didn’t want to talk. I didn’t even think about worrying about our future then.” 

Tyson squeezes his eyes shut. He’s blurry on Madison’s phone screen, but she can tell his hair is a disaster, like he’s been anxiously pulling on his curls.

“Did I accidentally break up with you to avoid being broken up with?” he asks. He sounds like he’s on the verge of laughter. Or maybe tears. Madison can’t quite tell, actually. 

“Mmm, I think so, babe,” Madison says. She rolls over in bed, stifling a yawn. It’s late in Denver, but it’s even later in St. Paul, she thinks. “Hey, you need to sleep. “You’ve gotta beat the Avs tomorrow.” She glances at the clock in the corner of her screen. “Well. Today, I guess.”

Tyson sticks his tongue out at her, but he snuggles deeper into his pillows. “Can I call you later?” His voice is small.

“Yeah, Tys.” They’ve got a lot more to talk about. “Say hi to JT and Cale for me, yeah?” she says.

Tyson grins at her. He stops himself from saying, “I love you,” before he hangs up, but only barely, settling on, “Good night,” instead. There’s still time for the other one, he thinks

The game is…fine. They slap a microphone on Tyson before he goes out on the ice, and it’s definitely weird facing off against some of his best friends, but he gets through it. He doesn’t score, but he doesn’t land in the penalty box either, so. He spends some time attempting to chirp an exasperated EJ that he’ll probably get made fun of for later. Oh, and the Wild win. Tyson guesses it’s an okay night, after all. 

Tyson misses Denver, misses playing at the Can, but after facing off against his friends on the still-unfamiliar ice in Minnesota, he’s not sure he can handle returning. 

Madison finds herself watching the Avs game for the first time in weeks, but she’s not watching for them. She’s paying attention to all of Tyson’s shifts, and she realizes halfway through the game that she’s completely rooting against the Avs. 

The final buzzer has barely blown when she’s pulling out her phone to text Tyson. She hesitates for a moment, unsure of the right thing to say. She feels like they finally made progress last night after Tyson stonewalled her for weeks, but they’re still a half dozen steps behind where they were in the beginning of March. She somehow knows more than she did before Tyson called her, but she feels like she understands their relationship even less now. 

She must type four or five messages before she settles on, great win :) 🖤. She kind of hates it as soon as she sends it, but she can’t take it back. She tosses her phone to the other end of the couch before she can obsess over waiting for Tyson to text her back. She doesn’t have to wait long, though, before her phone is vibrating near her feet. She takes one breath, then another, before scrambling for her phone again. Tyson’s texted back, thanks babe. Then, less than a minute later, wish you were here. 

Madison stares at her phone, chewing on her bottom lip. She doesn’t know the right thing to say once again. ‘Me too’ feels too earnest, ‘wish you were still here instead’ feels mean somehow. She still doesn’t know when she’ll see Tyson again, if she’ll see Tyson again. All she has is a version of Tyson through a screen. Her thumb hovers over the call button. Tyson’s probably busy with post-game stuff, Madison reminds herself. She misses his voice, though.

She finally settles on: :). She waits anxiously until Tyson has read it before sending: Call me later?

She checked the Wild’s schedule already; they’re in town for a few more days. Tyson will probably be heading straight home—wherever “home” is these days— after the game. She spares a moment to wonder about the future of Tyson’s old apartment in Denver. She wonders if it’s been emptied out yet, wiped clean of all traces of Tyson, of them. That had been home to Tyson, and it had almost started to feel like home to Madison, too. 

Tyson sends her back a thumbs up emoji and an emoji with its tongue sticking out. Madison rolls her eyes fondly and tosses her phone back to the end of her couch. 

She’s dozing when her phone rings. Half-asleep, she fumbles for it before answering. “‘Lo?” she mumbles. 

Tyson chuckles softly at her. “You asked me to call you and then fell asleep,” he says, tsk-ing. 

Madison sticks her tongue out at him, even though he can’t see her. “Shut up, it’s late,” she whines. 

“Then go to bed, Mads,” Tyson tells her. She can tell he’s trying not to laugh at her.

Madison feels like a toddler protesting bedtime, but she says, “No! I wanna talk to you.”

Tyson laughs again. “Okay, are you at least in bed already?”

“...No.”

“Go brush your teeth, and get in bed, yeah? We can keep talking then.”

Madison sighs but heaves herself off her couch and into her bathroom. Tyson starts chatting as she walks, mindless stuff, like the weather in St. Paul, or how bored he is of living in a hotel room still. Madison puts him on speaker and sets her phone next to the sink so she can keep listening while she washes her face and brushes her teeth. It almost feels like getting ready for bed alongside Tyson again, elbowing each other for space in front of his bathroom mirror. 

He falls quiet as she crawls underneath her blankets. Madison stifles a yawn.

“How was it?” she asks.

“The game?” Madison nods, forgetting again that Tyson can’t see her. Tyson continues anyway. “I mean, it was fine, I guess. We won, so.”

“Just fine?” Madison prods.

Tyson hesitates. “Weird,” he says after a few seconds. “It was weird. Feels like a Twilight Zone episode, honestly. Like I woke up one day in some other life that everyone else swears didn’t happen. Like, you get traded, and everyone expects you to immediately fit in with this new locker room, and be all in with your new team. As if all the games played with your friends never even happened.”

Madison doesn’t know what to say to that. It must be weird to have to effectively sever all ties with your best friends. To know and trust the face across the faceoff dot from you. She probably couldn’t handle it if she were in Tyson’s place,

“I’m sorry, Tys,” she murmurs, for lack of anything better to say. “It’s business, but business is shitty.” 

Tyson huffs in agreement. Madison’s wearing the hoodie she stole from Tyson, and she tucks her nose underneath the collar. It doesn’t smell like Tyson any more. 

“Hey, is now a bad time to ask if we can have phone sex?” Tyson asks.

Madison bursts out laughing. “Yes, Tyson, it’s a terrible time.” Tyson whines a little at her. “Though,” she adds, “I am wearing one of your hoodies.”

Tyson groans. The few times Madison had worn something of his around him, it usually wasn’t long before the clothes ended up back on the floor.

“Now you’re just being mean,” he says. His voice is muffled like he’s buried his head underneath a pillow.

Madison yawns again.

“You need to go to sleep,” Tyson tells her gently.

“No,” Madison protests again. “Tell me more about Minnesota,” she pleads. “I’ve missed listening to you.”

Madison can’t read Tyson’s moment of silence, but he starts doing as he’s told, telling Madison more about his hotel, about the food in the locker room after games at Xcel Center and how different it is from Denver, about all the different personalities on the team, until Madison falls asleep. 

Madison wakes up to a dead phone. She plugs it in while she showers, and she immediately checks her call log. Tyson had kept talking for well over an hour. He texted her, too, after he’d hung up. Miss you, promise we’ll talk more soon.

Madison responds the only way she knows how: 🖤.

April

The end of the season passes in a blur after that. Tyson settles in as best he can, but he feels like he barely has time to catch his breath. With the end of the season and the playoffs looming, there’s no time for Tyson to find a real place to live, so he’s still holed up in the hotel, living out of suitcases.

Time moves differently in hotels, he swears, the days blurring into one another. Tyson no longer knows what day it is; it’s only travel day, or game day, or rarely, a day off. 

The Wild are winning more than they lose, and Tyson manages to pick up some points here and there. It could be worse. At least it’s not, like, Buffalo. 

The team goes on the road for the first time since he got there, and it’s a good chance for Tyson to get to know everyone a little better, spend some time out of his generic hotel room—even if he goes back to another generic hotel room after each dinner out with the guys. He makes a point to call Madison as much as he can, which is almost every night after he crashes into bed and turns on some shitty TV. 

Their phone calls end up lasting for hours. Tyson realizes that he and Madison spent more time hooking up than really getting to know each other. It’s nice to take the time to just talk and learn things about Madison. Tyson feels himself falling in love more with each phone call.

Tyson talks about his family—his sister, his mom, his grandparents. How much he misses them with the long seasons away. How much he’s looking forward to going home to Alberta when the season ends. He doesn’t tell Madison that he wants to bring her home with him this summer, not yet. 

Madison tells Tyson about everything: her job (graphic design and marketing for a local business Tyson vaguely thinks he recognizes), her family (two sisters, one of whom Tyson briefly met), and her favorite movies (Lord of the Rings, but Tyson could have guessed that). When she tells him she likes to bake, Tyson immediately demands that she sends him some. He’s not even sure if he can get mail at the hotel, actually. Not important.

Tyson throws himself into hockey, though he’s not sure how much it shows. He’s determined to make this work, to stick and make a difference in Minnesota the way he never quite could in Colorado. He tells Madison this, too, voicing fears about his future in hockey that he’s never even let himself think about too much. 

The Wild plays the Avalanche again in St. Paul on the last day of the season. Tyson’s dreading it. He’s privately more than a little glad that they’re not playing the Avs in the first round, but he still can’t help but feel like he should be there instead, still on a powerhouse team poised to take on the postseason, not the underdogs.

Tyson calls Madison a week before the game, laying in bed, fresh off a single assist in back to back wins against Vancouver and Seattle. Tyson can hear the smile in Madison’s voice when she answers. Tyson’s chest hurts with how much he misses her.

Which is probably why he blurts, “Can you come to Minnesota?” 

Madison’s quiet for so long Tyson pulls his phone away from his ear to make sure the call didn’t disconnect. 

Finally, she says, “Tyson, I can’t just drop everything and fly to Minnesota.” “No, I know, I just meant next week,” he says. “We play the Avs again.”

Madison knows that, this time. She’s actually started paying attention to the Wild—mostly just Tyson, though—since April started.

“That’s a Friday night, Tys,” she tells him. “I’d have to take off work for the day.” She could, probably, without too much fuss. She just wants to hear Tyson beg a little. She’s still a tiny bit hurt by the way he stonewalled her after the trade. 

“I’ll pay for your plane ticket!” Tyson adds. That wasn’t really Madison’s point. “I really want you to be there, I need to see you again.” 

Madison already knows she can’t tell Tyson no. She sighs and drags her laptop towards her. She starts searching for plane tickets. “Just for the game on Friday, or am I allowed to stay the whole weekend?” she asks.

Tyson scoffs. “Like I’d let you leave after one night when I haven’t seen you in two like two months.” He’s already planning on only leaving the hotel room except for practice and maybe to finally take Madison on an actual date. Actually: “Hey, pack something nice to wear. I still owe you a date.”

Madison laughs. “How nice are we talking?”

“Oh, baby, I’m gonna wine and dine you so hard,” Tyson says, breaking off into laughter before he can even finish the sentence. 

Madison spends the next week, alternating between excited and anxious. Excited because she hasn’t seen Tyson in weeks, and she can’t wait to be able to kiss him again. She’s not sure why she’s even worried. She and Tyson have already spent months doing almost everything couples do, just without the label. They already know they work well together. Adding a label shouldn’t change things. 

She goes out and buys a new dress the day before her flight, after frantically deciding that nothing in her closet was good enough for a first date.

“He already knows what you look like,” her sister Emma points out. “It’s not like you have to worry about him liking you. Also, he’s colorblind.”

Madison ignores her (annoyingly correct) sister and spends almost over an hour in the mall. She carefully packs the new dress at the top of her suitcase before zipping it up and leaving it by her front door. She’s so excited she can hardly sleep.

It’s not a long flight from Denver to Minnesota, but Madison’s not used to flying, and the whole affair has her stressed beyond belief. It takes her unbelievably long to find her gate, and even though she got to KDEN plenty early, she still worries that she’ll be late. It’s a relief when she can finally settle in her seat. She turns on a Disney movie she doesn’t really watch and counts the minutes until she can see Tyson again.

Except then she can’t find her luggage, and Tyson’s supposed to be picking her up and isn’t answering her texts. It takes her twenty minutes to find out that another passenger mistakenly took her suitcase and has brought it back, and Tyson still hasn’t responded to tell her that he’s waiting.

She makes her way outside anyway, following the signs towards parking. Her hands are too full with her carry-on and suitcase to reach for her phone to call Tyson, but when she steps outside her terminal, she recognizes the person behind the wheel of a car just pulling up to the curb.

Tyson has the car in park and is jumping out before Madison can take another step. She’s so overwhelmed she bursts into tears.

She drops her bags to launch herself at Tyson, wrapping her arms around his neck. He doesn’t stumble, just slides his arms around her waist and hugs her back.

“Whoa, whoa, why the tears?” he asks, wiping one away with his thumb. 

“I just really missed you,” Madison mumbles into his shirt.

Tyson presses a kiss to her hair. He unwraps one hand and reaches for the handle of Madison’s suitcase. “Well, let’s get you in the car, and then we can talk, yeah?” he says. He doesn’t wait for an answer, letting go of Madison fully to swing her suitcase into the trunk. Madison slips into the passenger seat while he throws her carry-on in, too, before he’s jogging back to the driver’s side. He leans across the console to kiss Madison’s cheek.

“Missed you, too, by the way,” he says.

Madison feels silly for crying now. Everything always seems better when Tyson’s around, and right now is no exception, with the windows rolled down and Tyson singing loudly—and badly—to the song on the radio. Tyson reaches for Madison’s hand, and she lets him slip his fingers between hers. Something restless in Madison’s chest settles when he touches her. 

They don’t much as Tyson drives, the city flashing by out the car windows. It’s been ages since they saw each other, but they talk almost every day; there’s not much to catch up on. Madison likes it, the comfortable quiet between two people who know each other well. 

Tyson apologizes for the fact that he’s still living in a hotel on the elevator ride up to his room. 

“Tyson, I don’t care where you’re living, I’m just glad to be able to see you again,” she tells him.

Tyson blushes, but he also boxes her in against the elevator wall to kiss her properly for the first time since she got off the plane. Madison trails after him as he heads down the hallway and pushes open his hotel room door with a dorky sweep of his arm. 

The room’s bigger than Madison expected, with a kitchenette that doesn’t look like it’s been used at all, and a little couch and desk near the TV. Madison can see the bed, sheets rumpled and twisted like Tyson has never bothered to make it in the weeks he’s been here. Tyson’s watching Madison survey the room like he’s nervous. 

“So, what’s next?” Madison asks. 

With the game last night, Tyson didn’t have skate today, but she’s familiar enough with his game day routine to know he should probably be napping soon. She could go for a nap herself. Madison doesn’t wait for an answer, just dumps her carry-on bag on the couch and wanders over to the bed. Tyson follows, still rolling Madison’s suitcase behind him. Madison flops backwards onto the bed. The sheets smell like Tyson.

“Well?” she asks, raising one eyebrow at him.

Tyson scrambles onto the bed after her. He drops to his elbows above Madison and leans down to kiss her, eager and not exactly gentle. Madison reaches up to thread her fingers into his curls. She runs her fingers through his hair once, twice, before closing her hand and tugging. Tyson groans into her mouth, but he gentles the kiss. They make out until they’re both breathless, and Tyson has to pull away. 

“I really should nap,” he says once he catches his breath. Madison tilts her chin up for another kiss. Tyson rolls his eyes but obliges, just a quick peck. He shifts his weight to one hand and pinches the outside of Madison’s thigh with the other. “C’mon, I wanna cuddle.”

They both clamber up the bed until Madison can collapse onto the pillows. Tyson collapses on top of her. 

“Oof, bud, what the hell,” she manages. Tyson’s heavy, and it’s hard to breathe. 

“Told you I wanted to cuddle,” Tyson says back, face smushed into Madison’s collarbone.

Madison pokes Tyson in the ribs, then again, harder, when he doesn’t react, until he sighs and squirms off her. Her reprieve doesn’t long, though, because Tyson immediately reaches out for Madison and pulls her close. She rolls onto her side to face him, and he grins at her. 

“You’re an idiot,” she tells him.

Tyson’s grin only grows. “Yeah, but you like me.”

Madison slides a hand around the back of Tyson’s neck and kisses him. 

When Tyson's alarm goes off later, they’ve shifted in their sleep, and Tyson’s half-laying on top of Madison again. He slaps at his phone without moving and somehow manages to snooze the alarm. 

“Not ready yet,” Madison mumbles, wrapping an arm around Tyson and keeping him close. He huffs a laugh against Madison’s skin. 

“I’ve gotta get ready, baby,” he says. He kisses Madison’s shoulder.

Madison should probably get up, too. She wants to shower the plane funk off and make herself presentable for the game. But Tyson’s bed is really comfy. Tyson rolls off of her, and Madison whines at the loss of her human blanket.

Tyson shoots her an amused look. He leans back over Madison to kiss her one more time, but he avoids her attempts at dragging him back to bed. Madison pouts up at him. It doesn’t work. She watches from the bed as Tyson gets dressed in his gameday suit. He kisses her goodbye before he leaves. 

Left alone in the eerie silence of the hotel, Madison forces herself out of bed and into the shower. She brings her Bluetooth speaker with her, blasting one of her playlists loud enough to be heard over the water. She emerges in a cloud of steam to dig through her suitcase for the outfit she’d packed for tonight. She doesn’t own anything Wild-branded, and she doesn’t think wearing Tyson’s old Avalanche hoodie would go over too well. She’d had to buy something new for this, too: an amazing fleece-lined green corduroy jacket that she’d probably live in come fall. 

She takes the opportunity to poke around the hotel room a little, looking for traces of Tyson in the unfamiliar space. One of the blankets from his apartment was thrown carelessly across the foot of the bed. His ukulele sits on top of the desk. Madison hangs her date-night dress up in the little closet and finds her own good luck note to Tyson taped to the door. The kitchenette is full of Tyson’s snacks, including some of Madison’s favorites. It’s not much, but it’s enough. 

Madison eventually makes her way to the Xcel Center. She’s met by someone’s significant other outside—it’s a blur of faces and names she can hardly keep track of—before they head to their seats. She’d gotten used to the atmosphere at The Can, and Xcel Center is different but the same. It’s easy enough to settle into the rhythm of the game and the crowd. The game is wild from puck drop, but Minnesota manages to pull out a win. Tyson even scores the game winning goal. 

She follows the rest of the girls downstairs to the family room after the game. She’s restless, full of energy after the game, with no outlet for it. She all but tackles Tyson when he pokes his head in, stripped down to his base layers, but his curls still plastered to his head with sweat. 

“Whoa,” he says, steadying her as they tumble out into the hallway. He’s grinning at her, cheeks pink. He lets Madison pin him up against the wall opposite them. “Hi.”

Madison kisses him, before she can blurt something embarrassing, like, “I love you,” or, “That goal was hot.” Tyson makes a surprised noise into her mouth but kisses back easily, his hands tightening on her hips. He pulls away after a minute.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” he whispers, kissing her temple. Louder, he says, “JT has requested to see you.”

Madison’s a little surprised, but pleased, to hear that. She’s hung out with JT a handful of times since she met him back in January, but she doesn’t think she’s talked to him since Tyson got traded. It had always felt more like JT was just a friend of a friend she got along with.

Tyson drags her down the halls towards the visitors’ locker room, JT’s already waiting for them, leaning against the door frame and messing around on his phone. Unlike Tyson, he’s dressed in clean clothes. He looks up as they approach and grins at them. Tyson doesn’t let go of Madison’s hand. 

JT ropes Madison into a one-armed hug. “Think you’re Josty’s good luck charm. He’s scored twice now at games you’ve been to.” Tyson sticks his tongue out at JT.

Someone from inside the locker room yells Tyson’s name, and he’s momentarily distracted. JT leans in closer to Madison.

“Take care of our boy, yeah?” he says, quietly so Tyson, who’s still talking to someone else, won’t hear. “He needs you.” 

Madison’s not sure how to respond to that. She’s saved by Tyson remembering they’re there. JT smacks a kiss to Madison’s cheek and nudges her back towards Tyson. 

“See you around?” he asks Tyson.

“C’mon, you know you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Madison watches them hug, and then Tyson’s leading her back down the maze of hallways. He says something to her before dropping her off outside the family room, but she doesn’t really hear it, lost in her own thoughts, thinking about JT’s words.

She’s still thinking about what JT said when Tyson rejoins her, as they make their way back to the hotel, up the elevator and into Tyson’s hotel room. She and Tyson move quietly, easily, around each other as they start to change out of their game-day clothes. She’s still lost in her thoughts when Tyson hooks his chin over her shoulder, startling her as she’s taking her makeup off. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks. He looks worried. “You’ve been quiet all night.”

Madison shrugs. “Nothing.”

Madison watches in the mirror as Tyson’s brow furrows further. “Did something happen?” Madison knows he’d been worried about how the Wild WAGs would receive her.

She shrugs Tyson’s chin off her shoulder, suddenly annoyed. “No, Tys, nothing happened.”

Nothing did happen, unless you count JT Compher’s casual words sending Madison into a spiral. 

Tyson slides between Madison and the sink. He crosses his arms. “I don’t believe you.”

Madison rolls her eyes, but gives Tyson a quick peck, before hip checking him out of the way so she can brush her teeth. Tyson watches, still suspicious. Madison ushers him towards the bed. He sits and drags Madison into his lap. He frowns up at her.

“Tys, really. Everything was just overwhelming, I guess.” Also not a lie; she’d never been to a hockey game as Tyson’s girlfriend—or, almost-girlfriend—and everything had been overwhelming in a way she hadn’t expected. Most things had been the same, but sitting with the rest of the wives and girlfriends and listening to them ask her questions about her life and job had almost felt like a well-meaning interrogation. 

“Promise?”

Madison kisses Tyson, slow and gentle. “Promise.”

She yelps when Tyson flips them suddenly. He rolls on top of her, propping himself up on his hands. Madison can tell that he’s not letting this go.

“Then what’s wrong?” He chews nervously on his lower lip for a moment. “And don’t say nothing, I know you’re lying.” 

Madison huffs. “Just something JT said.” She shoves at Tyson’s shoulders, but he doesn’t budge. His glasses are crooked from his acrobatics, and Madison reaches up to adjust those next. He swats at her hand.

“I’ll kill him,” he says confidently.

“First, I think JT would beat you in a fight,” Madison says. Tyson makes a noise of protest, and Madison slaps a hand over his mouth. “Second, it wasn’t anything bad, I don’t know, just made me think.”

Tyson pries Madison’s hand away. “Tell me, tell me, tell me,” he says.

He’s distracted enough that Madison can hook a leg over his hips and flip them back over. She settles across his lap as Tyson blinks dazedly up at her.

“He asked me to take care of you, said you need me, whatever.” Madison’s trying to brush it off, as if she hadn’t spent hours thinking about it, as if she doesn’t feel uncomfortably seen. Far too vulnerable for something that was supposed to just be a hook-up way back in November. 

They’ve come a long way since November.

Tyson’s face clears. “What do you mean, ‘whatever?’” He surges up to kiss Madison before he continues. “Of course I need you. I fucking miss you constantly. I’ve wanted literally nothing but to be around you, like, all the time since, like, December.”

“Oh.” Madison should have realized that, maybe. It’s different to hear Tyson lay it out like that. “I didn’t realize,” she whispers. Tyson grins up at her. “You did kinda ghost me for a while there,” she points out.

Tyson groans. “I am never gonna hear the end of that, am I?” He runs his fingers through Madison’s hair, tugs a little at the ends. “I panicked because I was terrified of losing you, remember?” He punctuates his sentence with another gentle kiss. His hand slips from Madison’s hair to her waist, underneath her T-shirt. He’s missed the feeling of her underneath his hands. An emotion Madison can’t read crosses his face for a second before he says, “Do you—do you not—?” Feel the same way, is what he means to say, but can’t quite get out.

Madison understands him, anyway. “No, God, Tyson, no.” She hesitates; she supposes they’re laying it all on the line here. “I think I’m in love with you.”

Tyson surprises her by bursting out laughing. Hurt, Madison tries to squirm out of Tyson’s lap, but he reels her in and kisses her until she melts into his hands.

“Baby, I’ve been in love with you since you showed up at my door for a Lord of the Rings marathon.” He giggles a little and kisses Madison’s nose. “We’ve done this all backwards, haven’t we?” 

Madison giggles a little too and nods. “I don’t think we’re very good at all this,” she whispers.

Tyson shakes his head, still laughing. “We’ll get better. I mean, look at us, we’re already communicating more!”

Madison kissed him again to shut him up, but by then they were both too busy laughing to take it much farther. Madison collapses to the sheets next to Tyson, letting herself dissolve into giggles. It feels good to laugh like this with Tyson, the last bit of uneasy tension Madison didn’t even know existed disappearing at last. Madison feels delirious with it: the stress of the last few weeks, the long day of travel and hockey, the raw vulnerability of finally being honest with Tyson.

They laugh for longer than the situation warrants. Tyson eventually heaves a sigh and turns his head on his pillow to look at Madison, eyes uncharacteristically serious. Madison sucks in a breath and forces herself to stop laughing.

“I mean it, you know,” Tyson says. “I’ve been falling for you for a long time.” He looks thoughtful for a moment, props himself up on an elbow. “I guess this means you’re officially my girlfriend now, huh?”

“Huh, guess so.” Tyson beams at her. “Don’t think this gets you out of wining and dining me tomorrow, though,” she threatens. 

Tyson leans down to kiss Madison. “I don’t put out on the first date,” he murmurs.

Madison drags him closer, slots her mouth against his again. “Bit late for that, babe.”

Madison wakes up late the next morning, bright sunlight streaming through a gap in the curtains. Tyson’s already awake, sitting up against the headboard and fucking around on his phone. He never got dressed besides finding his boxers, and his glasses are slipping down his nose. He grins down at her when he realizes she’s awake. 

“You’re a dork,” Madison says, rolling over to bury her face in a pillow again. Tyson pokes her shoulder blade, and she turns her head enough to glare at him. 

“Brunch in bed, or go somewhere?” Tyson asks, poking Madison again.

Madison’s not wearing anything, either, and she’d have to shower and fix her hair before they could leave the hotel room. “Bed,” she says, burrowing back into her pillow. Actually, it might be one of Tyson’s pillows. It’s hers now.

Tyson chuckles and rolls out of bed to hunt down the room service menu. He orders a bunch of stuff that they can share, but makes sure to include an omelet for Madison. He learned a while ago that she always has to have an omelet with breakfast. He’s also learned not to question it. He jumps back onto the bed. Madison bounces with it, and turns once more to glare at him. 

Her hair’s a disaster, and Tyson thinks he can see a hickey he left low on her neck. He loves her so much. He remembers he can tell her that now.

“I love you,” he blurts. Madison’s face softens. “Also, breakfast in thirty.” He tugs a little on the sheet where it’s slipping down Madison’s shoulders. “Plenty of time for…”

“For what, Tyson?” Madison asks. She’s laughing, now, and she rolls over, letting Tyson slide between her thighs and kiss her, slow and easy. 

He has to fish his boxers out of the sheets again when room service knocks on the door, but it’s worth it.

Madison drags herself out of bed after they eat. Tyson’s promised her plans all day, so she and Tyson take turns showering and making themselves presentable. Tyson holds Madison’s hand from the door of the hotel room until they reach his car, and even then, he only lets go after he opens the door for her and kisses her on the cheek.

It’s a warm spring day, and Tyson drives with the windows down through downtown St. Paul. He refuses to tell Madison where he’s taking her.

“Can we at least get coffee if you’re going to kidnap me?” Madison whines.

“I don’t think it’s kidnapping if you willingly got in the car,” Tyson points out mildly. He pulls into the next Starbucks drive-thru he sees, though, so Madison’s pretty sure she wins the argument.

Placated with caffeine, she stops pestering Tyson for details, but it’s only another few minutes before he’s turning into a parking lot for Como Park Zoo.

“Oh my God, are you serious?” Madison asks. She’d idly mentioned, a while ago, that she wanted to visit the Denver Zoo when it got warmer. She had no idea that Tyson would remember that.

Tyson smirks at her. “I think it’s a little smaller than Denver Zoo—”

Madison cuts him off. “Shut up, it’s gonna be great.”

And it is great. Madison all but runs between animal exhibits, and Tyson’s more than happy to be dragged along by the hand, even though he thinks his nose is getting sunburned. They entertain themselves by naming the animals after his old teammates.

“You can’t name them all EJ,” Madison says at one point. 

“Well, why not?” Tyson argues. Madison…doesn’t have a good argument for that, actually.

There’s gardens, too, and they wander through those after they’ve looped around the zoo, holding hands the whole time. Madison’s pretty sure she enjoys the flowers more than Tyson, but he waits good-naturedly when she stops to point out a pretty flower or to take some pictures. It all feels like a date, which Madison supposes it is, actually.

“Hey, wait,” Tyson says suddenly, after Madison stands back up from taking a photo. “We should get a picture of us.” He snatches Madison’s phone from her hand. 

There’s an older couple nearby, and Tyson approaches them with a smile. Madison can hear him asking if one of them would mind, “taking a picture of me and my girlfriend?” She’s sure she’s blushing when Tyson comes back over and winds an arm around her waist. She smiles obligingly at the camera next to Tyson, and doesn’t even flinch when he turns and smacks a kiss to her cheek for the last one.

Tyson’s gracious and sweet as he takes Madison’s phone back, but he turns on Madison with an evil glint in his eye.

“Shut up,” Madison says, turning and walking away from Tyson so he can’t see that she’s still blushing.

Tyson jogs to keep up, spinning around and walking backwards so he can keep smirking at Madison. “You liked hearing me call you my girlfriend, huh?”

“Shut up,” Madison says again.

Tyson steps in front of Madison suddenly, blocking her path completely. She bumps into him. He’s still grinning. “Get used to it fast, because I can’t wait to tell everyone you’re my girlfriend.” Madison claps a hand over his mouth before he can literally start yelling about it. Tyson pries her hand away and uses it to pull her in for a kiss.

“I love you,” he murmurs. The novelty of hearing that from Tyson hasn’t worn off, either.

Madison kisses him again because she can. 

They head out not long after that. Tyson starts insisting that they can’t be late for their dinner reservation, even though it’s still early afternoon. Madison lets him take her by the hand again and all but drag her back to the car. 

She’s suddenly tired once she’s sitting back in the passenger seat, the sun and the walking catching up to her. She rests her head on the window while Tyson drives, fighting back a yawn. Tyson still catches her, and he reaches across to poke her in the thigh. She swats half-heartedly at his hand.

“Do I have time to take a nap?” Madison murmurs.

“What? No way!” He pokes Madison harder. “I’m supposed to be wining and dining you, remember?” 

“But I’m sleepy,” Madison whines. She’ll rally, probably; she needs to complain a little first. Tyson pokes her harder.

“That’s not allowed,” Tyson says. It’s not a long drive back to the hotel, and they’re most of the way back there already. Tyson checks the time on the dashboard. There’s still a few hours before their dinner reservation. “Okay, how about a mini nap?” he allows. “But we’re setting like three alarms.” 

It’s important to him that he still gets this first date right, even if they have done their entire relationship backwards. They got to the right place in the end, though, right?

Madison crashes into bed as soon as they’re back in the room. Tyson considers her for a moment. She’s already wriggled under the sheets, but she’s lying directly in the middle of the bed.

Tyson collapses on top of Madison. He catches himself at the last second so he doesn’t completely crush her, because he’s nice like that. Madison giggles, but she squirms and tries to elbow Tyson.

Her voice is muffled into the pillow as she tries to say, “Get off me.”

Tyson lets his weight press her further into the mattress. “Nope, ‘m comfy.” He does fish his phone out of his pocket to set an alarm and roll off Madison. He pulls Madison close as soon as he lands on his side next to her. “Shh, sleep now.”

They’re both jolted awake half an hour later when Tyson’s alarm goes off. Madison whines and presses closer. Tyson kisses the top of her head where she’s tucked under his chin.

“We need to get up,” Tyson whispers. Madison blinks sleepily up at him. 

Tyson forces himself to disentangle himself from Madison. When she doesn’t get up after him, he grabs her by the ankles and drags her to the end of the bed, ignoring her laughter and shrieks.

Tyson follows Madison into the bathroom after she digs her makeup bag and curling iron out of her suitcase, plops himself down on the marble countertop of the sink. Madison raises her eyebrow at him as she plugs the curling iron in and turns it on. Tyson beams at her.

“I wanna watch,” Tyson says simply, still smiling innocently.

He does watch, intent on Madison as she starts to section her hair.

“What’s that for?” he asks. He hands Madison a hair clip.

She brandishes the curling iron at him. “So it’s easier to curl.” 

Tyson’s quiet for a few more minutes before he slides Madison’s makeup bag closer and starts pawing through it. He pulls items out one by one and starts asking questions, mostly more of, “What’s this for?”—a makeup sponge, eyeliner, one of those jumbo eyeshadow crayons—until most of the contents of Madison’s makeup bag are strewn across the counter around Tyson. 

“Are you proud of yourself?” Madison teases. Tyson snaps a compact of blush shut, surveys the damage he’s done. Madison’s momentarily distracted by Tyson’s shenanigans, and one of her fingers brushes across the hot barrel of the curling iron. “Ah, shit,” she hisses.

Tyson’s immediately serious. “Are you okay?” He grabs at Madison’s hand, bringing it close to his face to inspect her finger. Madison bites her lip to keep from laughing. Tyson frowns before carefully pulling Madison’s finger to his lips, kissing it gently. “There. All better.” 

“I love you,” Madison hears herself saying. She’s not used to being able to just say it. Tyson beams at her again.

Tyson behaves himself while Madison finishes her hair and makeup, though he does giggle at the faces Madison pulls while she’s trying to apply mascara. He even helps put away all the makeup he got out. He finally hops off the counter to start getting ready himself.

Madison grabs his wrist when he reaches for the bottle of hair gel. “Nope, I’m rescinding your gel privileges.” She dies a little inside every time she sees a new photo of Tyson and his curls smothered in gel. Tyson squirms, trying to free his hand; Madison tightens her grip.

“Just a little?” Tyson pleads. 

“No, I like your curls!” For emphasis, Madison cards her free hand through Tyson’s curls.

Tyson grumbles at her and tries to tamp his hair back down. “You’re gonna make it frizzy,” he complains. Madison is still tightly holding onto his wrist. “Ugh, fine, but just for tonight.” 

Madison releases his wrist and kisses Tyson’s cheek as she steps past him out of the bathroom. Tyson blinks at himself in the mirror, wondering what the hell just happened.

Madison’s changed into a dress when Tyson finally makes his way out of the bathroom, too, sitting on the edge of the bed to slide on a pair of heels. She watches Tyson change with a small smile on her face. Tyson takes Madison’s hand and pulls her to her feet, twirling her once before pulling her close for a kiss.

“Let’s fucking do this,” Tyson says, and Madison has to laugh.

Dinner is pretty nice, as first dates go. Tyson picked a good restaurant—good food, nice environment, but not so fancy Madison feels out of her depth—and Madison already knows that he’s good for conversation. The good thing about falling in love before you actually start dating is that you’ve already gotten the awkwardness and discomfort out of the way already, Madison supposes.

She’s even mostly immune to the sad eyes Tyson directs at her as he pleads his case for getting dessert. Mostly. (They end up splitting a slice of tiramisu.)

The weekend passes too quickly. Madison blinks and suddenly she’s standing in the middle of Tyson’s hotel room, trying to figure out if she’s forgotten to re-pack anything. 

“Stay,” Tyson begs. “A few more days, through the beginning of the series.”

“Tyson, I can’t, I have to get back to Denver for work, you know that.”

Tyson does know that, but he also hates coming back to a dark and empty hotel room every night after games. He tries to tackle Madison to the bed, but she side-steps Tyson and crosses her arms at him, disapproval in her eyes. Tyson feels a bit like a scolded child for a moment. 

“What if I refuse to drive you to the airport, huh? Then you’ll have to stay.” Tyson knows it’s a weak argument, but he’s desperate here. 

Madison’s glare softens. She cups Tyson’s face in her hands. “I’m sorry, Tyson, but I really have to go. I’ll see you soon, okay? We’ll figure something out.” She punctuates this with a kiss. Tyson leans into it, his hands tight on Madison’s waist. 

“Soon,” Tyson repeats. “I love you,” he adds.

Madison kisses him again, and Tyson slips a hand beneath her shirt, her skin warm beneath his hand. She shudders and kisses him harder. They both startle when the alarm Madison set to make sure they leave for the airport on time goes off. Tyson tries to follow her when she pulls away to silence it.

“Time to go,” Madison says sadly.

After Tyson drops Madison off at Departures, he’s grateful that she’s not there to see him wipe away some tears. 

May

Madison sees the Avs’ WAG jackets on Instagram the night they start the first round. The WIld had played the night before, an ugly loss Madison hadn’t been able to tear her attention away from. She could have had one of those jackets, sitting next to Syd and all the other girls. Instead, she’s back in her apartment in Denver, alone. 

She wishes she could have stayed in Minnesota with Tyson for the first two games of the series. She gets a text from Tyson after the game that’s just a thumbs down emoji. Madison “dislikes” it out of solidarity. Tyson doesn’t call her that night. Madison has to remind herself that it’s okay, that they don’t have to talk all the time.

She watches anxiously two nights later as the Wild drag out a win, clutching a glass of wine for emotional support the whole time. 

Before she can think too hard about it, Madison’s opening her laptop. She’s in the middle of searching flights to St. Louis when her phone rings. It’s Tyson, and Madison doesn’t hesitate to answer.

“I miss you,” she says, before Tyson can get a greeting out. She has perhaps had a little too much wine. 

He chuckles. “It’s been less than a week, baby.” But then he adds, “I miss you, too.”

Madison shoves her laptop away and flops backwards on her bed. Last minute plane tickets are so expensive. So are playoff hockey tickets, apparently. She wonders if it would be easier to just drive to St. Louis.

“Wish I could be there,” she says next, even though she had just turned down Tyson when he’d asked her to stay. 

“Yeah, me too,” Tyson says after a beat. He doesn’t offer to fly Madison out again, though Madison can tell he wants to.

She doesn’t tell him that she’s only a few clicks away from buying herself tickets and meeting him in Missouri. Though she should probably do it while she’s not sober, before she can talk herself out of it in the morning. 

“Oh, good game, by the way,” Madison remembers to say.

Tyson huffs. “Are you already in bed?” Tyson asks. Madison can hear him banging around his hotel room, tinny and muffled where her phone has slid off her pillow. 

“Sorta,” Madison tells him. She pulls her laptop closer again. She could fly out after work and make it to the arena without missing too much of the game, probably. She winces again at the outrageous prices for the game. There aren’t even any good seats left.

Tyson speaks again. “Go to sleep, we can talk in the morning. I just wanted to say good night to you.” 

“In a minute,” she whines. She’s trying to remember her credit card number without having to get up and dig it out of her purse.

Tyson must hear her keyboard clacking. “What are you still doing on your computer?”

“Online shopping,” Madison lies. Well, half-lies. She is spending plenty of money right now. She triple-checks that her flight is booked correctly and that she purchased the ticket for the game before she finally slams her laptop shut and tosses it aside. “There, I’m done,” she tells Tyson.

“Buy anything good?” Tyson asks through a yawn. 

“Hope so, we’ll see.”

On Friday, Madison rushes off the plane, rushes through baggage claim, and rushes through renting a car. She’s cutting it close on time, with less than half an hour until puck drop. She drives as carefully and quickly as she can on the unfamiliar roads to the arena, one eye on the clock the whole time. The streets and parking around Enterprise Center are a fucking nightmare, but when she finally parks and makes it to the front doors, there’s still lines of people milling about, waiting to get in, too.

Madison checks her watch. Puck dropped five minutes ago. She pushes around a group of people who are somehow already drunk and towards the front of a line. All hockey arenas are the same, in a way, but Madison is immediately overwhelmed and disoriented. The first period is half over by the time she manages to get to the upper level and settle in her seat, but at least she finally made it. 

Madison takes a photo of the ice and texts it to Tyson with her usual black heart emoji. He’ll see it eventually. 

Madison has to keep herself from cheering too loudly for every Wild goal, surrounded by Blues fans as she is, and she’s probably one of the only people in the arena who’s happy when the Wild manage a neat win. 

She follows the throngs of people outside and back to her rental car. She has a text from Tyson waiting for her, just a string of exclamation marks. Another text comes through while she’s waiting for traffic to thin out, a request for Madison to call Tyson in all capital letters. Tyson’s breathless when he answers Madison’s call. “What the hell are you doing in St. Louis?” 

“Surprise?” Madison says weakly. 

Tyson laughs. “Hell of a surprise, babe.” He must pull his phone away from his ear, because Madison can still hear him speaking, but distantly. “Hang on, I’m trying to get you the address of the hotel, you can meet me there, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Madison says. Tyson’s gone again, not really listening.

“Hey, I’ve gotta go, I’ll text you where to go, and I’ll see you soon, okay?” He hangs up without letting Madison reply, but he texts again seconds later with the name and address of the team hotel. 

Madison is anxiously idling in the hotel driveway when the team bus pulls in behind her. Tyson bounds off the bus almost before it comes to a full stop, and he races over to Madison’s car door and taps on the window.

Madison rolls down the window. “And what if it hadn’t been me in the car?” she teases.

Tyson is reaching through the now-open window to try and unlock the door, his tongue sticking out the way it does when he’s focusing on the ice. “I would have apologized. A lot.” He successfully presses the unlock button and yanks the car door open. “Come here, come here,” he says.

Madison laughs and climbs out of the car. Both of her feet aren’t even out of the car before Tyson’s sweeping her up in a hug so tight she swears she can feel her ribs shift. He sets her down and immediately cups her face.

“You’re here, I can’t believe you’re here.” Tyson narrows his eyes, and he squishes Madison’s cheeks where he’s still holding her face. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were coming.” 

Madison pries Tyson’s hands away enough to talk. “I wanted to surprise you.” Tyson’s teammates are still filtering off the bus, and they should probably move inside, too. “Can you let go of me so I can get my bag out of the trunk?” she asks.

Tyson considers this. He slides one hand down Madison’s arm until he can tangle their fingers together. He also leans into the car and deftly turns it off, holding the keys up with a grin. He nudges the door shut. “We can get your bag out of the trunk.” He proceeds to drag Madison around to the back of the car and drags her suitcase out of the back with his free hand. He stares between the suitcase in his hand and the open trunk before Madison takes pity on him and slams the trunk shut.

Madison hangs back while Tyson hands the car keys off to a valet, and then he’s dragging her towards the elevators, happily rolling Madison’s suitcase in front of him. At least the rest of the Wild players have all disappeared, sparing Madison from their stares and jeers. She tucks herself closer to Tyson in the elevator, suddenly self-conscious. Tyson kisses her temple.

Madison is suddenly exhausted as soon as they enter Tyson’s room. Tyson flips the light on as Madison kicks off her shoes. Tyson left the curtains open earlier, and Madison can see the Arch, lit up above the river, through the window. She’s too tired to give it more than a half-hearted glance on her way to face-planting into the pillows. 

Tyson’s laughing when she rolls over and brushes her hair out of her face. “I’m so fucking happy you’re here,” he says, jumping onto the bed next to Madison, and, really, that’s all that matters.

The Wild lose the next game at Enterprise, and Madison holds Tyson tightly for a long time in the hall outside the locker room before he has to get on a plane. They lose again at home, then yet again back in St. Louis. 

Just like that, hockey season is over. 

Tyson calls Madison after the last game. He sounds like he’s been crying, but he tries to be cheerful for Madison. She just wishes she could hug him, but she’s back in Denver. She knows the Avs swept the Predators already, and they’ll be facing St. Louis next. It’s not difficult to imagine how Tyson feels about that. 

“Come home with me,” Tyson blurts. He’s on the phone with Madison, getting ready to leave his Minnesota hotel room behind. He survived locker cleanout and exit interviews, and now he’s ready to sleep for about a week.

Madison, in the middle of complaining at work, freezes. “I—what?” She takes another moment to process. “Aren’t you coming back to Denver first?” Madison knows his apartment sits half-abandoned, filled with things too difficult or unnecessary to move after the trade. 

“Well, yeah, but like, after. You should come home with me,” Tyson repeats. He’s been dying to introduce her to his mom for months. He hopes his mom likes Madison as much as he does. He is a little worried about his sanity if Madison and Kacey get along as well as he thinks they will, though. 

“I’ve never been to Canada before,” Madison says thoughtfully. She’s barely travelled abroad at all, except for one trip to the UK after she graduated high school. Her passport has been collecting dust since then. 

“So you’ll come?” Tyson asks. 

“Is there even anything to do in Edmonton?” Madison teases.

“There’s so much to do, like—” Tyson pauses. It’s been a while since he’s had to play tourist back home. Madison is giggling on the other end of the line. “Shut up, we’ll figure something out.”

Tyson feels like he can breathe properly for the first time in months when he steps out of the airport in Denver. He wonders if any place will ever feel like home the way Denver does.

Tyson had managed to wheedle JT into picking him up, and he even brought coffee. Tyson ignores the way it almost feels like an apology. JT has nothing to be apologizing for, but Tyson just sips his coffee. 

The apartment smells stale when they walk in. Tyson’s mom had done a good job of cleaning for him, at least, and there aren’t any dirty dishes still stacked in the sink. He and JT are quiet as they walk through the apartment, opening windows. Tyson feels like he’s walking through someone else’s life. He stares for too long at his bed, freshly made and untouched for weeks. 

He shakes it off and goes to find the moving boxes.

“So, this is it, huh?” JT says.

He could be talking about all the boxes they’ve spent the last few hours filling boxes and separating them into piles to be shipped off to Minnesota—Tyson finally signed a lease for an apartment there—or to be sent back home for his family to deal with. An alarming amount of Tyson’s clothes is Avalanche-branded gear, and more of it got packed away to keep than Tyson is willing to admit. 

He could also be talking about the end of everything they’ve known together in Denver. Tyson’s spent years accepting the fact that hockey is a business before everything else, has gotten used to the revolving door of teammates each season. It’s been a long time since Rookie House days with Kerf. Tyson is going to walk out that apartment door, and he’s never going to be able to go back. A chapter—or book, really—in the story of his life ended for good. 

Tyson sighs. “This is it.”

The apartment is stripped bare when Madison steps through the door, left unlocked by JT and Tyson.

She drops her laptop bag and kicks off her shoes, saying, “You should be more careful, anybody could just walk in here.”

Tyson drops the box he’s holding and whirls around. Madison winces as its contents rattle. There’s no time to say anything else before Tyson is bounding across the room and wrapping her in a huge hug. 

“What, no hug for me?” JT asks from somewhere behind them. Tyson turns to glare at him, but Madison shoots him a smile.

“Hey, JT,” she says. She lets JT drape an arm around her in a half-hug.

“Betrayal,” Tyson says. He is ignored. 

They leave most of the boxes for the moving company to deal with. Madison bundles Tyson into her car with his bags of clothes, complaining the whole time about wanting dinner. She lets Tyson hold her hand across the console as she drives him to her apartment. 

It’s not the first time Tyson’s been to Madison’s apartment, but it still feels strange to be there instead of his own. They’ve spent so much time there the past few months, watching movies on the couch, doing things other than sleeping in the bed. He misses it already, all the memories they made as they fumbled their way into a relationship. 

He says as much to Madison, expecting her to tease him for something so objectively dumb—to miss an apartment he lived in half of the time for like six months—but the look she gives him is almost sad.

“That’s a bit dramatic,” she says. Tyson pulls her in by the hips, letting her lean her weight on him. “But I guess we’ll just have to keep making more memories, yeah?” 

Later that night, tangled up in Madison’s sheets, Tyson stares at the dark ceiling. He can feel Madison, looking rumpled and in his shirt, watching him. She nudges his calf with her toes. He doesn’t look at her, focused on keeping his eyes from welling up. Then Madison’s hand is on his cheek, turning his head towards her.

“How you doin’, bud?” 

Tyson lets Madison pull him close and hold him tightly. He slides a hand under her shirt and to the bare skin of her hip, just feeling the comforting warmth of her skin. 

“What if it’s never like this again?” Tyson whispers back. This—Denver and the Avalanche, friends who become family; Madison in bed next to him, loving him and wearing his clothes. Minnesota had been okay, but Tyson worked his ass off and never felt settled. Maybe it was the endless hotel life, maybe it was the team, maybe it was him. He feels like a child, begging his mom to tell him everything was going to be okay. 

Madison doesn’t know how to comfort Tyson. It probably never will be like this again. Madison can’t see the future, and she can’t promise Tyson anything, either. “I don’t know, baby,” Madison admits. “I don’t know.” 

Tyson doesn’t cry, but they both lay awake for a long time. 

June

They fly into Edmonton together on Friday. Tyson seems nervous the whole flight and all the way through the airport. At baggage claim, as they wait for their suitcases, Madison turns on him.

“What’s up with you?” she asks. Tyson blinks at her like he forgot she was there. “You’re not seriously this worried about me meeting your family, are you?”

“No. Maybe. I don’t know!” Tyson crosses his arms. He’s pretty sure his suitcase just spun past them on the carousel. He lowers his voice. “I don’t really bring girls home, I don’t know. I don’t know how this is supposed to go.”

“Oh, Tys. It’s going to be fine, I promise.” Madison tosses her hair, and Tyson manages a weak smile. “Your family is going to love me so much they’ll forget you even exist.”

“Hey!”

Tyson had lobbied hard for taking an Uber from the airport, to give Madison and himself a few last moments of peace before a week with his family, but his mom had put her foot down and insisted on picking them up. She’s already idling at the curb when they step out of the airport.

Madison calls shotgun, leaving Tyson to throw their suitcases in the trunk and slide into the backseat. His mom is in the middle of telling Madison, “Call me Laura, please!” Madison turns in her seat to grin at Tyson as his mom pulls away and starts driving out of the airport. She refrains from grilling Madison on the short drive home, something Tyson is grateful for. He zones out while Madison explains where she grew up and what she does and lets himself relax back into his seat.

Before he knows it, they’re pulling up to the house, and Kacey is sprinting out the front door to greet them. Tyson groans, but he eagerly shoves his car door open before the car is in park and lets Kacey jump on him. 

Madison gets out of the car at a more leisurely—and sane—pace, and Kacey turns to wrap her in a hug as soon as she lets go of Tyson.

“I’m Kacey,” she says, pulling away and gripping Madison by the shoulders. “The better Jost sibling.”

Tyson pulls on Kacey’s ponytail. She smacks him in the chest without turning around. Tyson’s about to lunge and get Kacey in a headlock when their mom yells, “Behave,” at them from the front door.

Madison’s looking faintly overwhelmed. Tyson mouths “You okay?” at her over Kacey’s shoulder. Madison just grins and lets Kacey grab her by the hand and drag her inside. He’s pretty sure he hears Kacey telling her how much their grandparents can’t wait to meet her as they go. He shakes his head and retrieves their luggage from the trunk.

He’s missed all the introductions by the time he makes it inside. Madison sits on the couch next to Kacey, the spot on Madison’s other side left conspicuously open. Tyson ignores Kacey’s smirk and plops himself down next to Madison. 

“So, how did you two meet?” Tyson’s grandpa asks.

Tyson refrains from glaring at him. Madison laughs next to him.

“He picked me up in a bar, and I had no idea he was a hockey player,” she says. Tyson had almost forgotten about that part. “We kinda just…kept seeing each other after that.” 

That’s a delicate way of putting it.

“So you’re the reason Tyson ditched us over Christmas, huh?” Kacey asks next. She’s smirking again, directed straight at Tyson over Madison’s head. Tyson has not forgotten that part, struggling to lie to Kacey and his mom.

“Kacey!” Tyson and his mom both protest, but Madison just laughs again. Something about the question melts all of the tension out of her shoulders. She turns a little to lean against Tyson.

“Yeah, that was me,” Madison says. Tyson can’t see her face, but she doesn’t sound very sheepish. She tilts her chin to look up at Tyson. “I should’ve known something was up when he couldn’t go more than a few days without seeing me.” “Hey,” Tyson protests again, weakly. She’s right, though. They really should have figured out their shit sooner, but they got to the right place eventually. 

Conversation drifts away from the topic of their relationship after that. Tyson drapes an arm across Madison’s shoulders. After a while of catching up—Tyson and hockey season, or Kacey and her school year—mixed in with his family asking Madison questions to get to know her better, Tyson’s mom and grandma head to the kitchen to start preparing dinner.

Madison tries to follow and offer to help, but Tyson tightens his arm around her. He kisses her forehead, whispering, “Stay here,” into her hair. Madison stays.

They’re getting ready for bed later—banished to separate rooms, of course—when Madison notices Tyson getting nervous again.

“What’s up?” Madison asks, sliding between him and the bathroom sink. They’re pushing it, probably, spending this long in the bathroom with the door closed. 

Tyson shrugs. “Worried about you and Kacey spending all night gossiping.” They’d really hit it off over dinner, which Tyson is simultaneously grateful for and horrified by. From the look Madison gives him, she’s not buying it. “It’s just…the Avs are in town tomorrow night, and I got tickets, and you don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to, but I want to go, and—”

Madison cuts him off with a hand over his mouth. “Tyson, I’d love to go to the game with you.”

Tyson relaxes again, and Madison moves her hand. Tyson takes the opportunity to bully her up against the sink and kiss her. Tyson’s just getting into it when Kacey bangs on the bathroom door. He’s pretty sure he accidentally bites Madison’s lip when he jerks away. Madison grumbles at him, but she ducks around him to open the door. Tyson tries not to whine about it.

Going to the game together the next night is strange. Tyson hasn’t been to Rogers Place and not been playing a game since he was a kid, probably. Madison had never really been to a hockey game before she’d met Tyson, and she’s definitely never gone to a game with Tyson. 

They mostly go unnoticed, except for a handful of people who stop Tyson and ask for a picture. Madison hangs back while he politely smiles at the camera. It’s easy to fade into the crush of the crowd, and Tyson keeps a tight hold and Madison’s hand as they make their way through the concourse and to their seats.

After that, it’s just like any other hockey game. Cheering for the Avalanche is familiar, even if the way Tyson is squeezing Madison’s hand at every single scoring chance is not. She’d tease him for his nervousness, especially because the Avalanche are winning easily, except for the fact that she knows it had to be hard for him to come out tonight. To cheer for his old team, his friends, knowing that with every win they’re one step closer to something he can’t be a part of. 

So she lets him hold her hand as tightly as he wants. It’s the best she can offer. 

They don’t linger after the game. Tyson seems eager to escape the arena, and Madison lets him lead her back to the car. He puts on a Spotify playlist and turns the volume up loud, but he’s mostly quiet on the drive to the house, one hand on the wheel, one hand on Madison’s thigh.

Madison gets caught up talking to Laura when they get to the house, and she loses track of Tyson for a while. He’s not upstairs in his old bedroom, or even bugging Kacey in her bedroom. Madison ventures outside. Tyson has dragged a lawn chair out to the driveway, but he’s laying on his back on the cold concrete, staring up at the dim stars. The moon is just a sliver in the sky. 

Madison nudges him with her foot. He wraps a hand around her ankle, squeezes once.

“You alive down there?”

Tyson makes a sound that almost passes for a laugh. Madison is pretty sure his eyes are wet, shiny in the dark. Madison lays down next to him. The concrete is hard against her shoulder blades, and it feels damp through her thin T-shirt. 

“This fucking sucks,” Tyson says. It’s too loud for how late it is, and his voice echoes a little around the quiet street. He rubs a hand angrily across his face. “I want to be out there, playing for the Cup, not fucking sitting in the arena watching them. I guess I should be happy for them because they’re my friends, you know? But I kinda want to hate them, too.” He’s quiet for a moment. He reaches for Madison’s hand, brings it to his mouth to press a kiss to her palm, before settling their clasped hands on his chest. “I might not have asked for a trade if I had known it would be this shitty,” he admits.

“It’s okay to be mad, Tyson,” Madison says gently.

“It’s not—I don’t know if I’m mad. I wish I could be.”

“It’s okay to be sad, too,” she says.

“Yeah,” Tyson says, voice thick. 

They’re both quiet for so long, Madison’s half-certain Tyson’s fallen asleep, if not for his occasional sniffle. He sits up after a while, still holding Madison’s hand. Even in the dark, Madison can see him yawn.

“Ready for bed?” Madison asks.

Tyson nods. “D’you think I can sneak you into my bed?”

He pulls Madison to her feet as she lets out a startled laugh. Tyson kisses her quiet. “I’m willing to get in trouble if you are.”

The house is dark when they slip back inside. They giggle their way through brushing their teeth, close together at the bathroom sink, elbows bumping. Tyson shushes her loudly as they tiptoe carefully down the hall. Madison’s pretty sure he’s being louder than her, but whatever.

Madison wakes to an empty bed and late morning sunlight. She can hear Tyson’s voice drifting up the stairs. That boy truly does not know how to be quiet. Madison has an Instagram notification when she swipes her phone off the bedside table: josty17 has tagged you in a post. Madison frowns and unlocks her phone, wondering what unflattering photo of her Tyson took. Instead, it’s a photo Kacey or Laura must have taken the morning before. Madison’s laying on top of Tyson on the couch, Tyson visibly complaining that he’s being squished, despite the fact that he had pulled Madison on top of him. He captioned it with a black heart emoji. 

Madison makes her way downstairs. Tyson sits at the kitchen table, arguing with Kacey over something stupid. He reaches a hand out for Madison without stopping whatever he’s ranting about. There’s a fresh mug of coffee in his hand, already doctored the way Madison likes it. Tyson uses his now-free hand to loop around Madison’s waist and tug her onto his lap. She hooks her arms around Tyson’s neck and sips her coffee, content to listen to this argument, even though she’s still not sure what they’re arguing about. She thinks she hears something about which fruit would make the best weapon. 

It might not be easy, but Madison thinks they’ll be just fine.

[ilyasorokinn]

welcome to new york , tyson jost

note, i am sad once again, but not as sad as i was when he was first t-worded to minnesota. as always, i am wishing tyson the best of luck with his new team and will forever support him wherever he goes. another note, this fic is part of “the jost family” series. check out this masterlist. pair, tyson jost x reader summary, tyson jost gets signed with a new team. warnings, children, pain, dramatics word count, 1303 words

(gif not mine)

Tyson getting placed on waivers was so out of left field, you didn't even see it coming. Tyson let you know that it would happen a couple of hours before it was announced so you could process it.

The thought of having to uproot your entire life again stressed you out. Even if he wasn't signed with a team and was signed to the AHL team, that was still in a different state.

You sat both Noah and Rory down on the couch, "So, we have some news for you." You and Tyson both looked at each other nervously.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Well, we have some news." Tyson let out a nervous breath, "I got put on waivers." They both looked confused, "Do you know what that means?" Noah both shook his head while Rory still looked confused, "Well, it means that..." He was clearly struggling to find the words as he looked over at you.

"Well, it means that the Wild are letting other teams sign daddy." You explained, which didn't help due to the perplexed look on your children's faces.

"They're letting me go, bud." Tyson cut in, "And it means that any other team in the league has a chance to sign me in the next day."

"We have to move again?" Noah asked, his eyes filling with tears and his bottom lip wobbled.

"I'm sorry, buddy." Tyson picked him up and sat him in his lap, hugging him.

"But we just got here."

"I know." You could tell Tyson was beating himself up about the whole waivers thing. Rory climbed off the couch and waddled over to you, seeking comfort in your arms.

The entire rest of the day, you tried to do things that would occupy your mind and most definitely avoided social media. You ordered food in and watched movies for the rest of the night, or until Noah fell asleep.

You looked over at Tyson and could see the cogs turning in his head, "Hey." He looked over at you, "Stop doing whatever you're doing. Stop blaming yourself, 'cause it sure as hell isn't your fault." He nodded but looked unconvinced as he looked down at his lap.

The most you could do with a sleeping child in your arms was reach over and grab his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He looked over at you, "We're not done talking about this."

-

Before you both went to bed, you had a long and lengthy talk about what you would do if he were to get signed to a new team. If it was in America, you would fly out with him, wherever that might've been, and stay with him for a few days to watch him officially sign and watch his first game, then go home.

If it was a Canadian team, he would fly out alone and sign by himself, but you would watch from home, cheering him on.

The next morning, you continued with the game routine as the day before, doing tasks that would take your mind off of the anxiety coursing through your veins.

Noah was pretty much oblivious to the stress you and Tyson were both having, which was for the better. You didn't want him to worry about that.

You were halfway through your second movie of the morning when Tyson's phone buzzed on the table. You and he immediately looked over at each other before he picked it up.

He read the caller ID, then looked over at you and nodded, "I gotta take this." He stood up and walked into the kitchen. You looked down at Rory and Noah, who were already looking at you.

"Nordy?" Rory asked. Nordy was the Wild's mascot, and the easiest way to explain to her that daddy was on a business call was just to tell her that it was Nordy.

"Yeah, it's Nordy." You kissed her head as you all turned your attention back to the TV. A few minutes later, Tyson came back into the room, looking a lot less stressed and nervous.

"So? What's the word?"

"We're gonna need to pack a few bags." He told you.

"We're still in the States?" You asked.

"Buffalo." He smiled, "We're going to New York."

You let out a breath that had been waiting to be let out since yesterday, "We're going to New York." You chuckled.

"Alexa, play "Welcome to New York." The intro to the Taylor Swift song began playing and before you could even blink, Tyson grabbed your hand and pulled you off the couch, and started rocking back and forth dramatically to the music.

Rory and Noah joined in, dancing around you and Tyson as the music kept playing and even after "Welcome to New York" stopped playing. The rest of the morning was filled with more laughter, a great shift from the day before.

-

After lunch, you were packing a few bags and flew off to New York, where you were greeted warmly at the airport by Sabretooth, the mascot, and a few other members of the Sabres staff.

After getting changed, you headed over to the arena to officially sign the papers. Photos were taken of him shaking hands with the owners and all the important people and his new captain.

After getting all the important stuff out of the way, Kyle Okposo, the Sabres captain, turned to Rory and Noah, "Welcome to the team, guys." He bent down to their height and gave them high fives. You knew cameras were on you but kept your focus on Rory and Noah.

"As a welcome to the team, we got you a couple of things." Someone walked over with two bags in hand and handed them to Kyle. He pulled out two Sabretooth stuffed animals and handed them to both kids.

"Look, mommy." Rory turned around to you and showed you her new stuffie.

"Wow, look at that." You bent down next to both of them as he pulled the next thing out. Two jerseys with 'Jost' and '17' on the back, "These are for you two." He handed one to Noah and the other to Rory.

You looked over at Tyson, a shocked look on your face when you saw the number on the back of the jersey. He only smiled and nodded.

-

There was a game on the day you flew into Buffalo, but things were too last minute, so Tyson's Buffalo Sabres debut was pushed back a few days.

While Tyson trained with the team, you made a quick trip to the store to create a sign with Noah and Rory. You wrote 'Welcome dad. We love you!' then let Noah and Rory draw all over it.

You got them changed into their new jerseys and bundled in many layers before heading off to the arena. You got through security and got your family passes, then made your way down to the glass.

You sat in the seat in front of the glass, Rory in your lap, while Noah stood in front of you, holding the sign.

The lights dimmed, and you watched as, one by one, each of them skated out. You waited until you saw Tyson skate out, "There he is." You pointed this out to both kids.

Noah held the sign up higher, trying to get his father's attention. Tyson looked around every side of the glass before he finally clocked you, and he skated up.

Noah beamed brightly as he and his dad did their special little rituals. Before he skated off, he tossed a puck over the glass for Noah, then one for Rory.

You caught them both and handed them to each child, before looking back up and Tyson, and blowing him a kiss. He smiled and blew an exaggerated, dramatic one back to you.

-

my taglist: @kolsmikaelson @ashleymarine @typical-simplelove @kidlnthedark @bowen-power @nhlrbs @lam-ila @stars-canucks @iwantahockeyhimbo @2manytabsopen @owenpowersglasses @calermakar08 @hamilton160 @pierrelucduboiis @thescooby-gang @huggybearmylove43 @sammysworldddd @corneliaskates @mista-svech @samanthasgone @hockeyboysarehot @nicoleloveshockey @thedukes-56-5 @nickblankenburgg @sidcrosbyspuck @kaydenissleepy @Yagetintoit @seventieswhore @MichelleKirby30 @jamieeboulos @Coffeeandteaandflowers @bibella8swan @cuttergauth @boqvistsbabe @sophia-bordeleau @madison-nhl @jayda12

add yourself to my taglist!

i also don't know if he's number 17, but I'm really hoping he is. he can't be 10 cause someone else is also 10, so we can only hope he's number 17 again :)

[whatthe-puck]

Me? Writing another AU? More likely than you think.

Anyways, here’s the first chapter of the Mafia au! I’m actually so proud? It was supposed to be just a oneshot but. I have ✨plans✨.

[matthewkniesys]

Ig edit of being in Boston with Bolds :)

all pictures are from pinterest :)

youusername

Liked by @/ mattboldy, yourbestfriend, and 3,209 others

yourusername - I like boston...

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mattboldy - I like YOU...

yourbestfriend - why did you land the hot hockey player and not me

↳ yourusername - I'm just as confused as you

alexnewhook_- this is what I have to deal with everyday

↳ yourusername - sorry not sorry

mattboldy

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mattboldy - she's kinda cool I guess

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yourbestfriend - kinda cool!? she's the coolest and I'll beat your ass if you ever say that again

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yourusername - I am kinda cool I guess

↳ slknight35 - yeah you're just a little bit cool

↳ alexnewhook - y/n is sorta just the tiniest bit cool

↳ mattboldy - shut up I hate all of you

↳ yourusername - you brought this upon yourself

↳ mattboldy - I am well aware of that

slkinght - that game day was... fun

↳ yourusername - yeah... totally

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↳ mattboldy - we're not talking about what happened on that specific day...

Thanks for reading :)

Send in ig edit requests

[ephemeral-winter]

i'm making a special catalogue for our store for women's history month which is the first time the store has ever done such a thing (it is twenty twenty FOUR) and we have a lot of books on the civil war so i want to include all these diaries from confederate women and call the catalogue "women's rights... but also women's wrongs" does anyone have advice for explaining this concept to my 75 year old boss

[cobrakaisb]

“i trust you. it’s okay.” with bolds !!!

im such a sucker for boldy it's not even funny

the incoming phone call from matt was one that you expected given that everyone had been blowing up your phone for the past couple of hours. you answered immediately, surprised to hear matt's breathe of relief.

"babe thank god. listen i promise i have no clue who those girls were. jack and trevor wanted to go out, so we did, but i swear i only took a picture because they said they were fans. i don't even know their names! and i love you so so so much. i'd never do anything --" he rambled, but you cut him off with a laugh.

"are you...are you laughing right now?" matt asked, and you could picture his confused face. "yes matt. i love you and i trust you, so much. it's okay. i know how your friends are and i know that you wouldn't cheat on me," you said. "thank fucking god. i love you so much," he replied. "i love you too matty b."

[raysofcrosby]

FOREVER TO GO – t. jost

warning(s): pregnancy, gender disappointment, medical talk, hospitals and some slightly maternal trauma (just in talk about clementine's mother). if i missed something, please don't hesitate to let me know!!

word count: 31,868

an: ahh it took me awhile, but i finally got around to writing a part two to my tyson fic i wrote last year for the 2k21 fic exchange for @antoineroussel ! i loved this story so much and i had people asking if there was ever a chance for a part two that dwelled further into tyson and clem's life together and well, here it is!! i also made some instagram edits for some events that happen in their lives, but aren't mention in this fic, and you can find them linked below.

part one | bonus insta edits | bonus insta edits pt 2 | deleted scene [from part one]

She knelt on the throw carpet in their new living room, the big plastic red and green storage box in front of her, reaching in and unwrapping ornaments from the different colored pieces of tissue paper before placing them down softly onto the carpet beside her. There were a lot of things she could probably be doing on a Saturday night, but there she was a bowl of popcorn to her left, the ornament box in front of her, unwrapped ornaments to her right and just behind her lying comfortably on the couch, was their two-year-old adopted chocolate lab they’d gotten after she’d graduated with her masters degree– of course, named Fudge.

When Clementine thought back on how life was just two years earlier, sometimes it shocked her just how quickly things have changed in that time. The September after the Avalanches second round exit in the playoffs three months earlier, Tyson was flying with her to London and spent a week with her, helping her get settled into her flat, meeting her flatmates and spending the time before her 12 month program started sightseeing around the city before he flew back home to St. Albert to make sure that her grandparents and his mom had their spare keys to their apartment and that everything that needed to be done before he would travel to Colorado for pre-season, was done.

Her time abroad was an experience that younger Clementine never thought she’d get to experience. On the days they didn’t have class, she and her flatmates and friends from class would just travel all over the UK so that they could wherever they could go, the weekends dedicated to further travel. In that first semester alone they’d traveled all over England, visited Scotland, took trains to Germany, France, the Netherlands and Belgium, as well as a train and a ferry to Ireland. She made sure to take pictures, videos and buy any souvenir that she thought any of her friends and family would like. Surprisingly, the school part was easy, though she still stressed like she normally did despite her marks speaking for themselves. The most stressful part, which was obvious from the beginning, was the moments where she was homesick.

For her grandparents, for her friends, especially for Tyson.

Her time abroad was the farthest and longest she’d ever been away from home or anyone that she knew. The time difference was an adjustment whenever she’d make her calls or facetimes home to her grandparents, but it was even more complicated when the season started and Tyson was traveling– because then it was them having to keep up with multiple time differences. But they still did it. And while it seemed like she was having the time of her life, she really didn’t adjust to being away from everything and everyone, until the All-Star break when Tyson and their families flew to London to surprise her. She knew Tyson was coming, but didn’t know about everyone else and it was just the surprise she needed.

A month later, she was dead asleep when she got a phone call from him. Most of everyone had been acquainted with the time difference, so she couldn’t help but let her mind go to the absolute worst case scenario. And when she saw Tyson’s name through blurred vision, her heart was pounding even harder.

“Tys, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?” She asked, sitting herself up in her bed and bracing herself into the mattress for whatever news he had.

“Yeah, well no…actually…maybe? It just all depends on how you take it,” he sighed, a lot of moving in the background going on. “And you know, you probably would’ve seen it in the morning– well the morning there, and I could’ve just texted you, but I wanted you to be the first one to know before everyone else does and–”

“Tyson what’s going–”

“I got traded to Minnesota,” he replied, this time, silence on the other line. “I’m heading there now.”

“Oh,” she sighed, running her fingers through her hair as she felt her racing heart start to return to a normal rhythm. “Okay, so what does this mean for the future?”

“Well, best case scenario, I spend the rest of this season there and they keep me around next season and hopefully want to sign me again. Worst case scenario, they absolutely hate me, get rid of me next season and I bounce to another team and then become a restricted free agent after that.”

Clementine could hear the stress in his voice, especially since he was dead set on winning a Stanley Cup with the Avalanche and some of his best friends. “Well…I guess it’s a good thing we didn’t buy that house in Colorado, huh?”

Tyson laughed and she smiled, even by the small laugh through the phone she could tell that he was starting to relax a little bit. “Yeah, but now we have to start fresh with the search here…and even then, maybe it’s safer to just start out with an apartment? You know…just in case?”

“Whatever you want to do Tys,” she replied, letting herself lay back down in her bed. “My degrees allow me to get a job basically anywhere. So I’ll follow you wherever your dreams take you.”

“And if we make it to the playoffs, don’t worry, I’ll get a jacket made just for you.” He joked, the movement in the background picking back up. “Even if you’ll be supporting me from a million miles away.”

“Try 3,977,” she laughed, exhaling soon after. “You’ll do great, Tys. Just…go out there and play like you always do. I promise you’ll go far and I’ll be supporting you from all the way over here in my little flat.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The Wild did make it to the playoffs. They made it into the first round of the Western Conference final, Clem staying up with some of her flatmates to watch the games every time they were on. Unfortunately, the Wild ended up losing the series 4-2 and Tyson’s season had come to an end. Once he wrapped up everything in Minnesota and went home to visit with their families before flying out to visit Clementine for two weeks. It was filled with more traveling and taking pictures that flooded their instagram accounts– making the priceless memories that her abroad program gave them the opportunity to experience.

Before she knew it, her 12 month program was done and while her grandparents couldn’t make the flight this time around because of her grandpa getting a new hip and her grandma and Laura staying behind to help take care of him, Tyson and Kacey were there at her graduation and helping her pack up and then the three of them were flying back home to St. Albert where she stayed behind an extra week to spend more time with her grandparents while Tyson went to Minnesota for pre-season. But by the last two weeks of September she was in Minnesota with him and making their three bedroom apartment feel like home.

For the rest of 2022, she spent her time planning her wedding with the help of Mel and a wedding planner, getting comfortable in Minnesota and befriending the WAGs of Tyson’s teammates and also searching for a job. By November, she was lucky enough to get one so soon post graduation of her Masters. She was a guidance counselor at a local high school and despite settling into the role, she found herself loving every minute of it. She wanted to be the role model for students that her own guidance counselor in secondary school was for her– the one who helped her figure out which scholarships to apply for and encouraged her to apply for schools while she was still in secondary school, aside from Tyson and despite her own self doubt.

And when things started to seem like Minnesota could be a permanent place for them to call home, they took the chance to spend the All-Star break looking at potential homes, though they didn’t quite settle on one and wouldn’t until they were for sure positive that Minnesota would sign him. The Wild made the playoffs again, only this time making it to the conference finals where Tyson faced his old teammates in the Western Conference finals. Clementine enjoyed catching up with their old friends, despite the competitive aspect of it all, but she knew that hockey aside, their friendships were priceless. It was a tough matchup between both teams, Colorado coming off of their Stanley Cup win last year, and at times when the Wild would be scoreless, it felt defeating, even when the series was close. But the Wild never gave up and they pushed it all the way to a game seven before ultimately losing 4-3 in overtime and ultimately ending their season. It was a heartbreaking defeat, one that Clementine hated to witness Tyson go through twice in a row– but she was grateful that she was there for him this time around instead of across an ocean.

And despite their Stanley Cup run ending and the sad feelings coming with that, there were still two things that made the ending more sweet than bitter:

The Wild chose to keep him on, signing him for an additional eight years.

They were getting married in 46 days, less and two months away and they couldn’t have been happier.

And when the time finally came for their friends and family to travel to the Mount Norquay Ski Resort and gather there at the cascade lodge patio with the mountains in the background on July 24th and watch the once childhood friends, turned into sweethearts, exchange their vows and seal them with a dramatic dipped kiss before celebrating the night away and while Clementine was never the girl who planned her entire wedding on a pinterest board growing up– it was still the wedding of her dreams.

It was a simple, and elegant boho themed wedding. Really wanting to highlight the simplicity and the beauty of the natured venue with mainly greenery that decorated the lodge throughout their reception in the smallest of forms. Their pictures were jaw dropping, the photographer that they’d hired grasping even the tiniest of details from her bouquet, their rings, and capturing the varying personalities of their wedding party and their families. The first look they’d had in a quiet out of sight location where she thought she was totally prepared to face seeing Tyson all dressed up in a suit since she’d seen it times before. But the moment he’d turned around and she walked the last few steps towards him and she saw him try not to cry– she was a goner, they both were and it was caught on camera in pictures where the pure love they had for each other radiated from. The pictures where Tyson had convinced Clementine to go up onto the chairlift for some pictures, and despite her never letting go of his hand in fear of somehow falling, she knew that he’d never let it happen in the first place.

She had both of their Grandfathers walk her down the aisle. Their first dance was to none other than that George Strait song he’d always teased her about loving so much– I Cross My Heart– but he was the one to suggest it to her because “besides the obvious, and if you remember…it was the very first slow dance we had as an official couple at Mel and Gabe’s wedding and I believe we also agreed that this was our song.” Tyson danced with his mom, Clementine danced with both of her grandparents, speeches were made by his mom, her grandparents, Mel and Gabe. It was a night that they almost didn’t want to end, but they were okay when it did and the two were having their own sparkler send-off before getting into their rented 1960 Mercedes Benz convertible before driving back to the cabin they’d rented for the night.

The next morning, they were off to the airport and flying off to Bora Bora for a week honeymoon and when they got back, they flew into Minnesota to close on their dream house with the big yards and the wraparound porch, that they’d found based on a recommendation from the Spurgeon’s, who happened to live six houses down from them. Then back to St. Albert to spend time with their families before they went back to Minnesota at the end of August for the preparation of the new school year and pre-season.

A little over two years later from the moment he proposed in the Landeskog’s kitchen after a blow-up fight the night before and five months into post-wedding, newlywed life…things were great. Tyson was just two months into the new season, she into the school year, they were a year into being dog parents…it felt like things were just naturally progressing in their lives and the future that they’d talked about and dreamt about all those late nights were starting to mesh together seamlessly.

Especially with the news that she’d found out this morning.

Once Tyson signed his contract with the Wild, they talked about buying a house and starting a family since there was some guarantee they would be settling down in Minnesota for a handful of years. After they came back from their honeymoon and further discussion, they took the first step on their road of trying for a baby and Clementine got her IUD taken out. They weren’t adamant on immediately getting pregnant, because they were okay with having a baby within the next two years. So it wasn’t like she was tracking her cycle and they’d try when the possibility was high– but they also weren’t trying to not get pregnant either.

So spending every morning of this last week in the teachers lounge bathroom throwing up her breakfast gave her the inkling that maybe there was a reason behind it. Her period had yet to return to a normal regular cycle, so she hadn’t been tracking it like she normally would have, so any missing period in the last few months since she’d gotten her IUD taken out wasn’t really of any concern to her. And Tyson was on a four game road series, so he wasn’t there to notice the still unopened box of tampons beneath the bathroom sink, though it wouldn’t have been odd if he didn’t notice at all.

It was Thursday afternoon when Clementine stopped at a Walgreens on her way home to grab the first pack of pregnancy tests she found and Thursday night post walk and dinner when she took the tests in their bathroom. Fudge who she had left behind at the cushioned bench at the end of their bed where she normally slept, had made her way into the bathroom when Clementine had set all three tests that’d come in the box down onto the counter and waited the painstaking three minutes that two of the tests had required as described in their novel of instructions.

She’d never had to take a pregnancy test before in her life and this wasn’t the time to mess up any result, so she read over the instructions carefully, despite the small writing and the large piece of unfolded paper in her hands that made it stressful to even look at. When she noticed one minute had passed, she looked at the first test– the rapid response– and two pink lines were there in the small oval box, which according to the symbols on the test itself…meant pregnant. But it was just one test, she knew she’d need to wait for the other two just in case this first one was a fluke or she messed up testing it somehow. So she sat down on the toilet lid, scratching behind Fudge’s ears as she waited those last two minutes. When her timer went off, she stood up, the calm chocolate lab standing beside her as she looked down at the final two tests.

Another two pink lines and a digital YES+ written in black block letters.

All three tests were positive which meant more than likely she was pregnant but she still wanted to make an appointment just to be sure. So yesterday, Friday morning, Clementine made an appointment with her OB/GYN a short time after Fudge would be dropped off at the vet since she was due for her yearly wellness exam. So this morning she dropped Fudge off at the vet and then drove to the town center where her OB was officed in and sat down at a Panera, treating herself to a sausage, egg and cheese ciabatta and strawberry banana smoothie for breakfast and then did some shopping, unable to resist lingering amongst the baby aisles until it was time for her to check in for her appointment.

Despite how comfortable Clementine had become around her OB/GYN, she still didn’t like anything having to do with hospitals or doctors, especially if she had to do it alone– but this was also something she knew was fragile, so she couldn’t quite tell anyone just yet…and Tyson was just up north in Winnipeg, set to arrive for warm-ups for their game tonight in a few hours. So it was just her sitting in the room dressed in a gown and waiting for either her OB/GYN or an ultrasound tech to come and perform the ultrasound she was told she needed because– “you, Clementine Jost, are most definitely pregnant.”

She felt guilty getting that first ultrasound done without Tyson there, and Dr. Johnson knew it. Maybe it was by Clementine’s nerves or the fact that she kept asking questions throughout the entire time, wondering if it was common for people to come in that first time without their partner. And even when Dr. Johnson confirmed that it was a frequent occurrence, Clementine still felt a little guilty. Tyson didn’t even know she made an appointment to double check. She’d told him she was focusing on getting the Christmas decorations out so that the two of them could spend tomorrow not only picking out their tree, but also decorating their house. Which she would still do, but only after her appointment.

It was very clear just how unprepared and how much about this process she didn’t understand. For all she knew based on any and every medical show she’s ever watched, the ultrasound was the wand they used on the individual who was pregnant, stomach and saw the baby that way. So when Dr. Johnson was explaining about how based on a possible timeline, a transvaginal ultrasound would be more likely, she was confused. And by no means was the process itself a vacation, but Dr. Johnson kept her mind off of it enough by asking her about their wedding and honeymoon, the two of them sharing dog stories as well. The conversation took her mind off of the awkward feeling long enough up until Dr. Johnson had gained her attention by turning the screen towards Clementine and pointing at the small white blob on the screen and saying “that’s your baby.”

She got to hear the heartbeat, and Dr. Johnson answered every question Clementine had and explained what her next steps would be should she and Tyson choose to go along with the pregnancy. When she left the doctor’s office, she was leaving with a six week window of scheduling her next ultrasound appointment to where Tyson could be with her, a list of prenatals she could take, multiple pamphlets on pregnancy and the stages throughout and the knowledge of knowing that not only was she just three days away from being nine weeks pregnant, but that their baby had a rough due date of the second week of July.

Meaning that they would have a baby of their own joining their little family for their first wedding anniversary.

Clementine hadn’t received a call from the vet yet when she left the OB/GYN so she decided to do some more shopping for the supplies she’d need to tell Tyson when he got home later that night. She felt out of place, not sure on how to tell him and spent plenty of time googling creative ways to tell him and desperately considering spilling the secret and asking Kacey for advice– but she decided to stay mum and tried her best. She managed to grab everything she needed by the time the vet called and told her that Fudge was ready to be picked up. She went home with Fudge having a clean bill of health, her secret of a new addition and everything she’d need to put together Tyson’s surprise.

It was funny how slow time moved though when you were really looking forward to something. The perfectionist she was for making sure everything was just how she pictured it when putting Tyson’s reveal together, it only took her about 30-minutes to put together. Then she made her and Fudge dinner– putting some leftovers for Tyson in a container in case he was hungry when he got home–took Fudge for her walk, played fetch with her for little bit in the backyard, quickly imagining their baby doing the same thing when he would be a little bit older, and then she came back into the house for the night, taking trips to the garage and figuring she might as well keep up with her cover story of getting the Christmas decorations out for tomorrow while watching Tyson’s game.

But even then when the game was done and she went back to starting to unpack the ornaments for tomorrow so it would save them some time, it felt like the hours, minutes and seconds were just dragging on. And when she heard their alarm beep twice, signaling that a the garage door leading to the house had been opened– since she knew it wasn’t the front door because it was in her view– her heart was racing because she knew that Tyson was home and he was unknowingly moments away from being handed what he would no doubt call the best gift he was going to receive this Christmas.

“Clem?” Tyson called out, the sound of the door closing behind him, followed by two more beeps of the alarm system. “You down here still?”

“In the living room!” She called out, sitting back against her heels as Fudge lifted her head from the couch cushion and looked towards the back as Tyson’s footsteps echoed down the hall. “How was the flight?”

“Not bad, hit a little turbulence right when we left since I guess there’s a storm that’s supposed to pass through Winnipeg,” he sighed, coming into view as he walked towards the stairs and dropped his duffle down before walking back over to the back of the couch and reaching down to scratch Fudge’s back. “Hi my second favorite girl, mom said the vet told her you were perfect, which we already knew didn’t we?” He smiled, Fudge rolling over so he could scratch her belly. “Were you a good girl for mom today?”

It wasn’t odd hearing him call Clementine mom, they’d joked about being dog parents before being real parents, calling the other mom and dad whenever it came to Fudge. But now that she knew she was pregnant, it made her heart flutter a little harder because now they really were going to be mom and dad to someone.

“She was. Even got a little extra playtime in the backyard today after her walk,” Clementine smiled as Tyson walked from around the couch and over to her, stopping just behind her and bending down as he cupped her face and kissed her. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” he replied, kissing her again before walking over to the couch and sitting down on the cushion next to Fudge, who had rolled back over in expectation of more belly rubs and scratches. “So I was thinking tomorrow we could go to the tree farm right when they open? Get the best tree, come back here and set it up and then breakfast before we decorate?”

“That sounds perfect,” Clementine nodded, nervously unwrapping the tissue paper around one of the homemade ornaments they’d made on a date to one of those painting pottery places. “I got you something today.”

“Ooh, so does this mean I get to have the first present under the tree tomorrow?” He smiled, sinking into the seat as he started to rub Fudge’s belly.

“Actually, no,” Clementine replied, standing herself up and walking over to their brick fireplace where she’d rested the wrapped rectangular box up in Christmas paper and placed it on top of the mantle. “You get to open it tonight,” she smiled, turning back around and walking over to him with the present in hand.

He tilted his head to the side as he looked at her. “What? But Christmas is what? 22 days away?”

“23, but who’s counting,” she said, holding the present out for him. “Here, open it.”

He looked at the red wrapping paper, scrunching his face as he contemplated and then shook his head. “I don’t know, it feels wrong to open a gift this early–”

“Tyson, open the present or I’m calling your mom,” she said, stomping her right foot just barely against the part of their laminated floor that wasn’t covered by the throw rug.

“That’s cold,” he said, shaking his head as he grabbed the other side of the present. “I thought we agreed not to pull the mom card unless I was in trouble.”

She crossed her arms and shrugged. “You will be if you don’t open the present.”

Tyson sighed, resting the present in his lap as he sat up and stopped rubbing Fudge’s stomach. “Looks like someone is trying to ruin Christmas, huh Fudge?” He asked, scratching behind her ears before looking back at the present. “We should just call mom grinch for the rest of this month, huh?”

“Tys–”

“I know, I know, ‘just open the gift’,” he replied, rolling his eyes playfully as he started to unwrap the gift box. “If this is also your way of trying to upstage me on Christmas this year, just know it’s not happening. I’m going to win the gift giving, I always give the best gifts.”

“Maybe not this year,” she smiled, keeping her arms crossed nervously as she watched him place the wrapping paper off to the side and look at the red squared stock card she’d cut in half, the first half taped to the top of the box with half of a riddle and the second half inside of the box, resting on top of the white tissue paper that was covering up the contents inside of it. “Come on, read it out loud.”

“Bossy,” he smiled, rolling his eyes as he looked at her writing. “It’s been you, Fudge and me for quite some time. And a house too big for three lonely souls, but that’s going to change in a few short months.” He looked up, his eyebrows furrowed. “I wouldn’t say we’re lonely, we’ve got Fudgie.”

“Tyson, just open the box,” she sighed, shaking her head.

“Unless,” he smiled, looking at Fudge. “We’re getting you a little brother or sister! Twice the puppy love in this house.”

“Tyson!”

“Alright, alright, relax, mom,” he smiled, lifting the lid of the box and revealing  the second part of the stock card that he picked up to read. “For heaven has heard our secret desire. Our family is growing by one heart and two feet…” his voice faded out and she could see his eyes skim across the card again before he lifted up the tissue paper, surprisingly following the instructions she’d written at the bottom of the card– “(lift up the tissue paper for a surprise! <3)”

She uncrossed her arms and brought her hands together, resting them beneath her chin as she watched him pick up the YES+ pregnancy test before putting it back down and then picking up the sonogram she’d gotten from her appointment. He held onto it as his eyes moved to the two articles of clothing she’d put into the gift, a red Minnesota Wild newborn bodysuit she’d bought from Dicks with his number and ‘DADDY’ in white block letters self-ironed on the back and a green Minnesota Wild newborn sleeper.

He looked up at her, his facial expression soft as he quickly glimpsed back down at the sonogram in his hand and then back at her. “You’re pregnant?” He asked softly, eyes expressing pure disbelief.

“Yeah,” she nodded, tears brimming in her eyes as she chewed on her bottom lip in an attempt to stop it from quivering.

“Really?”

“Really,” she sniffled, nodded and then laughed as Tyson put the box of stuff down onto the couch and got up off of the couch, taking two steps before he was able to wrap his arms around her waist and pick her up off of the ground in a hug. “Tyson!”

“I can’t believe it,” he said, looking at her before putting her down, leaning in and kissing her as he cupped her face before pulling back. “When did you find out?”

“Technically Thursday night because that’s when I took the tests,” she replied as he wiped away at her cheeks with the sleeves of his sweatshirt. “But I had an appointment this morning after I dropped Fudge off at the vet and Dr. Johnson confirmed it.”

“How far along are you?” He asked, nodding his head back towards the box where the sonogram was still laying. “That’s not a tiny blob, that’s a slightly big peanut blob.”

“Three days from nine weeks, so almost a week over two months,” she smiled, keeping her arms draped over his shoulders as his hands rested on her hips. “She gave me a rough estimate of a due date sometime in the second week of July.”

He looked down at her stomach, moving his hands from her hips and resting them on her stomach. “You’re gonna get a bump, dude,” he smiled, looking up at her with a gleam in his eyes. “We’re gonna have a baby.”

Clementine nodded, a smile overtaking her face. “We’re having a baby.”

“Holy shit,” he hugged her again, holding her against him as the two embraced in the living room, not pulling apart until Fudge barked at them both, now standing up on the couch with her tail wagging. “Fudge you’re gonna be a big sister, are you excited?”

Fudge barked in reply as Tyson walked over and smothered her in rubs and kisses on the top of her head. “You know,” he said, turning around to look at Clementine. “If you’re almost nine weeks pregnant, that makes sense why Fudge has been so obsessed with you. Don’t animals like, gravitate towards pregnant people?”

“Or she just loves me more,” Clementine smiled, shrugging her shoulders.

“Totally possible,” Tyson replied, walking back towards her and resting his hands on the small of her back. “But she definitely doesn’t love you more than I do.” He pulled her closer to him, resting his forehead against hers as he smiled. “We’re going to be parents.”

“We are,” she nodded, her fingers tracing the nap of his neck. “But you know we can’t tell anyone yet…right? Dr. Johnson told me most people don’t announce until they’re out of the first trimester–“

“When’s that done?”

“Um…I think she said 12 or 13 weeks?”

“Perfect,” he smiled, leaning down and kissing her nose. “We can make the announcement on New Years, shock everyone with the best news they’ll get all year. But you know what this means, right?”

Clementine wrapped her arms around his neck, smiling up at him. “Hm?”

“We’re giving my mom her first grandchild, which means I’m forever solidified as the favorite kid.” He beamed as Clementine just laughed. “Sucks to be Kacey.”

Second Trimester

In the midst of the season, Clementine and Tyson were balancing a lot of things. Work, their home life, preparing what had been previously an empty room to turn into a nursery. In their excitement, they’d spent one of Tyson’s rare days off and took a trip to IKEA to look at potential cribs and other furniture they’d want to put in the nursery. If he could, Tyson would have bought the first of everything that he thought, just because he was so excited. Clementine, surprisingly being the more level headed of the two, suggested they look at multiple options and even search online so they could check the safety levels.

“There’s a lot more that goes into the decoration of the nursery besides just how it looks, Tys.”

“Well, obviously she’s sleeping in our room until she’s six, so it’s not like she’ll be sleeping in there while she’s a baby. We have to soak up all of the cuddle time that we can.”

So they compromised. For cribs, they would search online and check out safety ratings until narrowing their options down to the one they wanted and then Tyson could also buy the bedside bassinet.

Despite being a few days shy the first week of her second trimester and being six weeks away from their 19 week scan where they could potentially find out the gender, Tyson and Clementine both were each adamant on what the gender of their baby was going to be. Clementine was so sure they were having a boy. Maybe it was just all of the small talk between her and Tyson in the early years of dating that had her mind set on their first child being a boy, or maybe it was that her body just knew. Whichever it was, she just had a feeling that they were having a boy and she often referred to her bump as such. Now Tyson on the other hand, was the exact opposite. He, for reasons of his own, was adamant they were having a girl.

“Just imagine, Clem,” he’d say as they laid there in bed, resting his hand on her forming bump. “She’ll learn how to walk in the living room, probably trying to get to Fudge or something. Her first Halloween and Christmas, she’ll look so cute in her costume and opening her presents– but you promise we won’t dress her up in something cliche like a pumpkin? I hope she has your eyes, actually no…I don’t. I’ll never be able to turn her down if she gives me puppy dog eyes like you do.”

She let him go on and on in his talks about hoping that their baby was a girl, just like he let her do the same. But they were still undecided on whether or not they wanted to find out when they got their 19 week scan. Part of her wanted to wait until he was born, just the excitement of it all– but the other part of her wanted to know– wanted to be prepared so they could figure out what they were going to name him from the growing list that just seemed to keep growing.

First though, they had to tell their families.

It was hard to keep the secret as Christmas came and went, the both of them wanting nothing more than to surprise their families with a Christmas surprise of “we’re having a baby” but they managed to keep it a secret until the last day that their families were in town. Tyson had a game tonight, so the plan was for them to tell their families right before he left for the arena. Though he’d almost managed to crack in the hours leading up to it.

“Tyson, why are you still here?” His mom asked, coming in from the kitchen. “You need to leave.”

“Mom, we live right down the road, it’s not that far of a drive,” he sighed, shaking his head as he stood next to Clementine, who was standing in the middle of the living room. “We need to talk to you guys before I head out.”

“What’s this about?” Her Grandfather asked, sitting in Tyson’s recliner. “Are those idiots trading you?”

“Don’t worry, Papa, it’s nothing bad,” Clem laughed, waving him off. “And no, they’re not trading him.”

Once Kacey had come into the living room and sat down next to her mom, Tyson and Clementine shared a look before Tyson walked out of the living room and down the hall to the storage closet. “So now that you guys are here, we just wanted to have one more special moment together before you all flew home tomorrow morning.”

“I’m surprised out of all of those times Kacey snuck presents when we were kids, that she didn’t find these,” Tyson laughed, carrying six boxes that were wrapped in red Christmas paper and walking back into the living room before passing out the boxes to who they belonged to.

“Um, no,” Kacey said, looking at him as he went to hand her her present. “You were the mastermind behind that, you just used me as a pawn because you knew I was cuter so mom wouldn’t get mad at me.”

Tyson held back the box, looking at Clementine. “I changed my mind, she doesn’t get one.”

“Tys,” Clementine sighed, motioning towards Kacey. “Give her the box.”

“Yeah Tys, give me the box,” Kacey said, holding out her hand and grabbing the box from a reluctant Tyson before he walked over and stood next to Clementine.

“So we held onto these just because we wanted to have you guys open them now when things got a little less hectic. We had everything customized for you, because they’re very meaningful gifts because you guys mean so much to us,” Clementine smiled, pausing as she felt herself start to get emotional.

“We just wanted to remind you guys how much we love and appreciate you and wanted to see you open your gifts all together without the rush of Christmas morning,” Tyson added, looking at Clem before nodding at their families. “So go ahead and open them.”

Clementine had her hands interlocked in front of her, resting her chin on top of them as she eagerly watched them start to unwrap their presents. As expected, Kacey was the first one who got her wrapping paper undone, but moved to help their grandparents get theirs undone before returning to her own gift, taking the lid off of her box and peeling back the tissue paper.

“Oh my God!” She shrieked, looking up at them. “Shut up, you’re kidding!”

They both just smiled as one by one their family members each opened their boxes and saw what they’d put inside– each baby announcement tailored to their own interests. Kacey had gotten a t-shirt that said “official member of the cool aunt club”, along with a mug with a bunch of her favorite flowers and larkspur and water lilies– the official flower of july– drawn on with “Auntie Kacey EST. 2023” written in cursive beneath it, and a candle of her favorite scent that Tyson had picked out simply because it said “look at you becoming an aunt and shit” along with a greeting card and a copy of the sonogram they’d gotten.

Inside Tyson’s mom’s box, they had put a light gray onesie with “hi grandma, see you in july” printed in cursive, a grandparents keepsake journal since she had done similar books for Tyson and Kacey both, a comfy retro-inspired great sweatshirt that said “I’m a cool grandma” on it and then a wooden frame with “hello grandma” and “baby jost – july 2023” engraved beneath it, with the sonogram clipped to the side.

Tyson’s grandparents had gotten a similar frame, only theirs read “hello great-grandma & great-grandpa”, a cream colored throw pillow cover that had “parents, grandparents and great grandparents” each with the proper EST date beneath it and red hearts decorated in the corner. Each of them got a t-shirt that read “promoted to great-grandpa/grandma EST 2023” as well as a bottle of their favorite wine with the label that read “To the best great-grandparents, I can’t wait to meet you. Love, your great-grandchild” And along with those, Tyson’s grandpa got a golf ball marker engraved with “new golfing buddy coming soon” on it, while his grandma got a mug that had “mom, grandma and great-grandma” also all with the proper EST dates.

For her grandparents, Clementine had gotten them matching mugs, since they often sat at the coffee together every morning or out on the front porch, sipping their morning coffee side by side. They had said “Just when a grandfather/grandmother thinks his/her work is finished, someone calls him/her Great.” She’d gotten then the same frame as Tyson’s grandparents as well, complete with sonogram. Nana got a cream colored sweatshirt that said “Mom, Grandma, Great-Grandma, I just keep getting better”, while Papa received a navy sweater reading the same but with dad, grandpa and great-grandpa instead. He’d also received a fishing lure with “Papa’s new fishing buddy arriving 7/2023” on it. While Nana got a small set of plastic toddler gardening tools, complete with a tote and a light blue apron that had “Nana’s gardening buddy” engraved across the chest.

For her grandparents, Clementine struggled on just what to give them in terms of title. All of her life she’s referred to them as Nana and Papa, because they were her grandparents after all. But as far as she was concerned, they were ones who raised her– who were practically her mom and dad. Ultimately, she settled on getting them great-grandparent titled gifts, but would make it known to their children that they were basically mom and dad to her and that they too could call them Nana and Papa if that’s what they wanted.

But seeing their excitement as they took in the news and saw the surprise, followed by the amount of hugs and love they received, only made Tyson and Clementine more excited for the impending arrival of their baby. They were going to be surrounded by so many people that loved them and cared for them, that it was beyond her wildest dreams.

Clementine knew deep in her heart that their son would never for a single second or moment ever feel the way that her own biological mother had made her feel as a little girl– that she wasn’t enough for someone to want or was someone who could just so easily be left behind…abandoned. No, she knew that he was going to be very, very loved by everyone in their family. And that was all that she could ever hope and wish for.

It was only a few days later, on New Years Day that Tyson and Clementine sat huddled together on their couch with Fudge sitting on the other side of Clementine, her face resting by her belly, while the two of them looked at their phones. It was early afternoon into the new year, Tyson had gotten home from St. Louis around 10:30 and traveled with his teammates to meet up with their significant others and families at the Spurgeons place, where Danielle was hosting the New Years Eve party.

Up until the guys got there, Clementine had spent a lot of her time dodging questions as to why she wasn’t partaking in sipping on champagne, her main excuse was that she’d had a really bad headache all day and thankfully once the person asking heard that question, they’d back off. Otherwise, it was just mingling with the girls and entertaining the kids as the game played on TV. At one point, the Fleury’s youngest, James, had made his way onto the couch and sat down next to Clementine, eventually crawling his way onto her lap and sitting while they watched the game up until he fell asleep. Véronique had apologized, but Clem told her it was okay. However, that small event spiraled out into the millions of questions being thrown around about whether or not her and Tyson were thinking about starting a family now that they were married and he was signed for eight years, or if they were wanting to wait a little longer.

“Whatever happens, happens,” she said with a smile, shrugging her shoulders carefully not to disturb the sleeping toddler. Part of her enjoyed keeping their small secret that they were already expecting, but the other half found it so hard to keep it from them any longer, seeing as she was becoming very good friends with all of the women.

By the time the guys joined the party, the younger kids were all rounded up in the playroom where they were all napping until midnight, when the party would end and the parents would go home. It wasn’t too long though before the countdown was starting and everyone was huddled in the living room watching the ball drop.

“Do you realize this is our fifth New Years Eve together?” Clementine asked, looking up at Tyson.

“Technically, it’s been way more than that,” Tyson smiled, quickly pressing a kiss to her temple as he saw her roll her eyes. “But yes, I do realize that. New Years Eve 2018 changed everything for us, of course I’d remember.”

“It’s crazy to think five years have already passed,” she smiled, leaning against his chest. “Doesn’t feel like it’s been that long.”

“I know, time’s been flying by.” he whispered, nonchalantly resting his hands beneath the Wild sweatshirt she was wearing and brushing his thumbs against the t-shirt she had beneath it. “And just think how this time next year, we’ll have a little one to bring to the party too.”

The countdown had reached one and everyone around them cheered before they all partook in the classic tradition of sharing a midnight kiss with their significant other. Unlike all those years before, Clem wasn’t the one to initiate the kiss, Tyson was and he had pulled back with a smile on his face to say “Happy new year Clem,” before kissing her again. They’d left the Spurgeon’s house shortly after midnight and traveled the short distance down the way to their own home, greeting Fudge with pets and head kisses before they went to bed for the night.

Clementine had woken up that morning, to the smell of coffee and eggs coming from downstairs. Fudge was sleeping at the end of their bed like she always did, waiting for her to wake up before she’d travel back downstairs with Tyson. After the morning snuggles and pets, Clementine and Fudge made their way downstairs to see Tyson in the kitchen, wrapping up cooking breakfast. He hadn’t even been able to get a word out after she greeted him with a morning kiss before saying “I want to announce it to everyone else, today.”

So there they were, staring at the announcement photos they’d chosen to post to their individual instagram accounts, Tyson unable to say no to the puppy dog eyes and pouty lip Clementine had given him the moment the simple request left her lips. She pleaded her case, explaining how she was too excited to keep it a secret any longer and they were officially in the safe zone to where they were allowed to announce it. But she hadn’t needed to do any pleading at all, because Tyson was on board and had been waiting to do the same exact thing.

“So we post on three, then lock our phones and don’t touch them until bed…right?” He asked, looking away from his phone. “That way we can just be completely unaware of their shock and then read all the comments and laugh about it tonight in bed?”

Clementine laughed, scratching the top of Fudge’s head. “You are aware that we’re probably going to get spammed with texts and calls from our friends…right?”

“Eh, we’ll tell them we’re doing newlywed things,” he shrugged, looking down at her bump. “Though we’ve already done that.”

Clementine shoved him as she shook her head. “You’re so annoying, let’s just post.”

“On three,” he nodded, looking at her phone. “One, two…three.”

They both pressed the share button, watching as their feed loaded and then the posts appeared on their screens. They locked their phones before resting them down on the arm of the couch and Clementine leaned towards Tyson, snuggling down into his side.

“How long do you think it’ll be before we get the first phone call?” She asked, looking ahead at the tv screen as Mamma Mia continued to play on the screen.

“Mmm, maybe half an hour? I’m sure plenty of people are still sleeping off last night’s–”

Tyson’s phone rang first, cutting him off. He looked in disbelief as he grabbed his phone, Clementine’s going off soon after. She laughed and slowly reached over to grab her phone off of the arm of the couch, turning it towards him. “It’s a facetime from Mel.”

“Mine’s JT,” he laughed, taking a deep breath and sighing. “So it begins, huh?”

“I guess so,” she smiled, patting his chest before swiping to answer the facetime call, just as Tyson answered his phone.

It was a long five weeks for both Clemetine and Tyson as they awaited their next ultrasound appointment.

Now that she was 18 weeks pregnant, Clementine was starting to have a tough time falling asleep– a symptom amongst many that she’d read about in the books she’d bought for some kind of guidance on this new, uncharted journey. She could call, text and facetime Nana and Laura if she needed advice or had questions– but sometimes she’d just preferred to be able to sit down at a table with them and talk.

Thankfully though, she found that guidance and conversation easy with some of the WAGs of the team. Those who’d had children or experienced pregnancy before. Sometimes the websites and the books could be so overwhelming that she felt like she wouldn’t be able to retain it or that she wanted to know the experience outside of the books and internet. It was in the bonding moments with some of the WAGs where Clemetine was asked in the family room before one of the Wild’s games about if she and Tyson were going to find out the gender, if they were going to keep it a surprise until the birth or if they were going to throw a party. She told them that both she and Tyson automatically knew that they wouldn’t be able to handle it if they kept themselves in the dark about the gender of their baby until the moment they were born– but that they were trying to figure out if they wanted to do a party or just find out themselves.

It was then that Danielle Spurgeon had offered to help plan and host a gender reveal party for them if that was something they were interested in. Clementine, not wanting to make Danielle feel obligated, initially had turned down the offer, saying that it wasn’t necessary since the Spurgeon’s had four kids of their own, which was already a circus. She brought it by Tyson later that night, asking whether he wanted to find out the gender the day of their scan or have a party and Tyson being Tyson said– “oh we have to have a party! I want us to do one of those cute reveals where I shoot a puck or we open a box and there’s balloons.”

The next game day, Danielle came up to Clementine and asked her when it was a good time for them to get lunch so they could talk about party details and what Tyson and Clementine envisioned. Apparently, Tyson had gone up to Jared at the next practice and they talked about the party and everything and thanked Jared for being so hospitable.

The only thing keeping them from the party, was having the actual anatomy scan done to where they could check on how their baby was developing, as well as have the gender handed off to them in an envelope, and Clementine would give it to Danielle tonight at the game.

“Tyson please stop,” Clementine sighed, lolling her head to the side.

He brought the now nearly empty water bottle away from his mouth, looking at her. “Stop what?”

“You were chugging that water bottle and squeezing it and the empty plastic sound was reminding me of how full my bladder is and how bad I have to pee,” her eyes dwindled down to the water bottle he was holding and back up at him. “If you don’t stop, I will pee my pants and I would rather not do that.”

He looked back and forth between her and the water bottle before bringing the bottle back to his mouth and downing the rest of the water, then walking over to the corner of the room where a trash can was and throwing it away. “There, no more water.”

“So everything that I’m seeing right now looks great,” Dr. Cortez smiled, pointing at the screen. “Your little one here is measuring in at just a little over five and a half inches and they’re weighing in at almost seven ounces, which is right where you want to be at 18 weeks.”

Tyson was holding onto Clementine’s hand, but his eyes were glued to the screen and soaking in everything that her OBGYN was saying. Dr. Johnson was taking personal time away from her job, which Clementine was nervous about, especially since she had the ideal of Dr. Johnson being the one to deliver their baby when the time came. However, Dr. Johnson suggested Dr. Cortez as someone to take her place, insuring that she was also one of the best OBGYN’s on their team. So in the case Dr. Johnson wasn’t back from her personal leave, Dr. Cortez had some background on the pregnancy and Clementine and Tyson both could feel comfortable with her. Aside from calming Clementine’s nerves, this was his first time seeing an ultrasound. Sure, he’s stared at the copy Clementine had surprised him with and he’s googled and watched videos on youtube of ultrasounds…but this one was their baby.

He was getting to see their baby move on screen and their outline for the first time with his own eyes. For their announcement, Clementine had made an appointment when she was 13 weeks to get an updated ultrasound, but he was out of town and couldn’t make it. Between that first one from when she found out she was pregnant, to the 13th week…to even now, he was seeing their baby grow. He could start to easily make out what was its head and maybe its arm– their nose if the angle was right since in the first two they had their head turned.

But he wasn’t over being able to see their baby there on the screen, the ultrasound waves catching the movement and he often found himself looking between the screen and Clem’s belly, unable to wrap his mind around how the baby was moving inside of her…and yet when you stared at her stomach, she was completely still.

“Tyson,” he zoned back in and looked down at Clem who was shaking his hand and looked at him with a concerned look. “You okay?”

“Oh, uh, yeah I’m good,” he nodded, squeezing her hand and smiling. “Just got a little zoned out thinking about our little girl,” he dragged out the girl, smiling and nodding at Doctor Cortez. “Am I right doc? Is it a girl?”

Dr. Cortez laughed, shaking her head. “Nice try there, but I know very well that you two are keeping it a secret for your party.”

Tyson sighed, shaking his head. “It was worth a shot. But what did I miss while I was zoned out?”

“I was just talking all of the boring, science stuff. Everything is in the right place, there were no signs of a cleft lip or palate, their spine looked beautiful, arms, legs and all of their little extremities are forming just great,” Dr. Cortez smiled, typing on the computer before freezing the image of their baby’s side profile and putting the transducer wand back up. “Placenta looks great, your cervix is closed and everything else on your end is going very well, Clementine. You and your baby are very, very healthy.”

“Thanks,” Clementine smiled proudly, looking away from Tyson and at the screen. “I’ve been trying to keep up our walks with Fudge, she keeps me active and for some reason, little GUY,” Clementine joked, putting emphasis on the gender, likes a lot of healthy food…mainly broccoli. I could eat that for every meal.”

“And she has,” Tyson chimed in, sighing dramatically. “I make her an omelet? ‘Mm, I think broccoli would taste great with this!’ Broccoli as a side dish, as a snack, sometimes with butter, all of the time with hot sauce…broccoli…just tons and tons of broccoli.”

“I think we should be grateful for that,” Clementine said as Dr. Cortez wiped off the excess gel from her stomach. “Maybe then getting him to eat his vegetables won’t be as hard seeing as you never ate yours.”

“She’ll do just fine, thank you,” he smiled teasingly, leaning down and giving her a quick kiss. “Right doc?”

Dr. Cortez just laughed and shook her head. “I’ll go grab you guys your copies of the scans and then you’re free to go.”

Once Dr. Cortez left the room, Tyson let go of Clementine's hand and walked around the end of the exam table, coming up beside the screen and sitting down on the free space of the table. He looked at the screen that was still displaying the frozen image of their baby in black and white, and tilted his head to the side.

“What?” Clementine asked, resting her hand on his arm.

“I think they’ve got your nose,” he said, looking at her.

“It’s a 2D image, Tys,” Clementine laughed, sitting herself up and letting her sweatshirt fall back down over her bump. “There’s no way you can tell that.”

“Sure I can, see?” He said, reaching out and carefully tracing along the side profile of their baby’s nose. “They’ve got that same, cute little slope that you do.”

Tyson helped her sit up the rest of the way, shifting down the exam bed so she could turn towards the monitor and let her legs hang off the bed. Clementine leaned closer to the monitor, copying Tyson’s earlier mannerism of tilting his head to the side. “If you really focus and squint a little…oh huh.”

“Mhhm,” Tyson said, following her to try and see what she was talking about. “What? What is it?”

“You can see that they might get your forehead,” she smiled, bumping into him.

Tyson looked at her, the smile off his face as he rolled his eyes. “You’re annoying.”

“No I’m not, you love me.” Clem looped her arm through his and snuggled down into his side before focusing back on the screen. “Really though, I think they might have those adorable chubby cheeks you and Kacey had back when you were kids.”

“Really?” He asked, perking up a bit as he looked at the screen.

Clementine nodded, reaching forward and pointing at the baby’s side profile, outlining their cheek. “Oh yeah, look how they protrude out.” She looked back at Tyson with a smile. “Looks like you’ll have to fight off all of the people who will want to pinch them like they did yours.”

“Oh trust me, I will. “I won’t let our kid endure all the pinched cheeks Kace and I did.”” he nodded, looking at her with a soft smile. “So I was thinking about something.”

“Oh no,” she joked, looking worried. “Should I be concerned?”

Tyson rolled his eyes and shook his head. “No, but remember how we were considering doing one of those super detailed scans?”

“The 4D ultrasound? Mhhm, why?”

“I think we should do it,” he said, shrugging as he looked back at the monitor. “I’m too impatient to wait nine months before we can see what she…they look like. I kinda want to know now.”

Clementine laughed as she moved to get off of the exam table, Tyson helping her out. “We can do it, but I was doing some research and they said the best time would probably be around 24-28 weeks. So, you’d have to wait just a little longer.”

“If I have to,” he faked a dramatic sigh before smiling as he intertwined his fingers with her. “Though I mean come on…look at them. They’ve totally got your nose.”

Now being closer, Clementine and Tyson both examined the monitor up close, taking in all the details of the black and white 2D image of their baby. “Hm, you’re right, they totally do,” she smiled, looking up at him.

“Good, because that just means they’ll be just like their mom,” he smiled, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his chest, resting his chin on top of her head. “Who I love, very, very much.”

Clementine looked up, resting her chin on his chest. “I love you too.”

The one thing that Clementine was most grateful for when she and Tyson decided to take up Danielle’s offer of hosting a gender reveal party at her and Jared’s home, was that the pivotal 20 weeks, or the halfway mark when they would have it, fell right at the beginning of the All-Star break. The two of them were insistent to his teammates and their friends that they didn’t need to hang around just for the party, knowing that the break during the season was when most took the time to travel. But nonetheless they felt loved when they decided to hang around, and even more so when a few of their friends from Colorado decided to stop by before heading out on their vacations.

It was the mix and the best of their years spent in Colorado and Minnesota, seeing the support from some of their closest friends that made the day so special. It was humorous seeing big, NHL playing men, who were always so competitive on the ice, play baby shower themed games and argue over whether or not their prediction for a gender was right. Tyson had surprised Clementine with her grandparents, despite weeks earlier she assured them it was okay if they didn’t want to fly into Minnesota considering their growing age. So when they had driven to the airport to go pick up his mom, Kacey and grandparents, she was surprised to see both of her Grandparents walking alongside them as well that Tyson panicked the moment she imploded into tears in the middle of the airport.

With the party in full swing it was easy for Clementine and Tyson to get lost in mingling amongst their friends and enjoying the catered snacks and decorations. Clementine had also managed to thank Danielle and Jared more than a handful of times for offering to host the party and Danielle for also planning the majority of it, aside from the parts where Clementine offered things she’d like to see and preferred to have. Between the two of them, Tyson was nervous and Clementine was excited. To her, there was no second guessing what their baby was going to be. She’d known from the very beginning, just felt it in her gut that they were going to have a boy. Tyson didn’t have a preference or even a guess– he was just excited to be there and to finally be able to call her bump by one of the names they’d narrowed down to for either gender.

So when it came time for them to stand in front of all of their friends and family to reveal the gender in true hockey player fashion– shooting a pink or blue powdered filled puck off of a shooting deck provided by Jared– Tyson was the one who was hesitating because of nerves. He took a little extra time in making sure his hands were set up right as if holding a hockey stick wasn’t what he did for a living, or prolonging his ‘thank you for being here’ speech as his thumb picked at the buttend of the stick.

“Josty if you delay this any longer, that kid of yours is going to be sixteen and asking for a car! And they haven’t even been born yet!” Gabe yelled out, earning a smack on the arm from Mel.

Tyson rolled his eyes, pointing the hockey stick at him. “You’re lucky I don’t have you removed.” He replied, before standing by the puck. “You can get off the deck, Clem. I don’t want you to get hit.”

“Thank you, I appreciate that,” Clementine laughed, stepping off of the shooting deck once Tyson kissed her temple and stood just across from him with their friends and family behind her.

She stood there nervously with her back turned to their friends and family as she rested her hands on her bump, something she caught herself doing every day from the moment she’d found out she was pregnant and even more so once her bump started to grow. She stared at Tyson who was dressed in jeans and a pink polo, Clementine having picked out which shirt for him to wear since he insisted on wearing pink because he was on team girl. And he chirped her the entire time while she tried to sort through which blue dress to wear.

“It’s February, Clem. It’s cold outside.”

“It’s the nicest day it’s been all winter. I’ll wear tights and a jacket.”

And she did. Wear the nude tights and a cream colored jacket that matched well with the baby blue criss cross tie backless dress. But she was starting to feel a little cold and was hoping that Tyson would shoot the puck and reveal that they were expecting a boy just so she could go back inside and enjoy a large glass of hot chocolate. And when she saw Tyson start his swing, it was like time had slowed and she could only focus on Tyson and the sound of her heart thumping inside of her chest. Her breath held as he swung forward and when he shot the puck forward, the breath was stuck in her throat and her heart stopped.

“What? What is it?” Tyson asked, turning around to face her as their friends and family all cheered at the reveal. “Clem what is it I can’t tell. This was a bad idea, I should’ve worn those glasses–”

“It’s pink,” Clementine finally spoke, swallowing the knot in her throat as she finally looked away from the pink cloud and over at Tyson, tears filling her eyes. “It’s a girl.”

“It is?” He smiled, the joy clearly taking over as his smile only grew bigger. “I knew it! I told you I knew it!”

He dropped the stick and ran over to her, wrapping his arms around her and picking her up. “Tyson, careful!” She gasped, resting her hands on his shoulders as he spun her around, keeping her in his arms even when he stopped. “Come on, put me down in case you drop me.”

“I wouldn’t dare drop my two girls,” he gasped, placing her down onto the ground and moving his arms up her side until he interlocked his fingers behind her back, digging his thumbs carefully into the more tense than normal area. “So now that we know…what do you think about announcing the name to everyone?”

“Yeah,” she smiled softly, playing with the ends of her jacket.

When his eyes locked onto hers, she held his gaze for a few seconds before looking away, noticing how his eyes were skimming across her face to take in her mood. “You okay?”

Clementine nodded, forcing the smile to stay on her face before letting go of the ends of her jacket and rubbing her arms. “Just a little cold. Maybe we can tell everyone inside?”

“You sure you’re–”

“Tys, I’m fine,” she replied, stepping forward and kissing his cheek. “I’m just a little cold and would like to go inside, please.”

Tyson nodded, moving beside her and keeping one hand on the small of her back. “Okay, go ahead and head inside, I’ll tell everyone we’re moving back in.”

“Thank you,” Clementine smiled, leaning over and kissing him, pulling back just slightly to look at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he smiled, bringing his free hand up onto her forming bump before leaning down and kissing it. “And I also love you too, our little girl.”

Once he stood up, Clementine started to make her way off of the Spurgeon’s grass, hearing Tyson following behind her and stopping short to make his announcement. “Okay, we’re not having everyone freeze or catch a cold on our watch, so let’s move everyone back inside where Clem and I have another announcement we’d like to make!”

She wasn’t able to get a moment to herself as everyone was following into the Spurgeon’s home right behind her, flooding into the living room and open kitchen as Tyson and Jared made sure everyone was inside before Jared closed the door. And just before she could excuse herself from another congratulations, Tyson had walked up beside Clementine and rested his hand on the small of her back, leading her to the center of the living room so they were once again in front of everyone.

“Tys, can we maybe do this later?” Clementine whispered, looking up at him as she watched their families settle into their spots to where they were in clear view of them both. “I’m feeling a little thirsty.”

“It’ll only take a quick minute, then I’ll grab you a drink,” he said, squeezing her hip as he looked down at her with a smile. “Promise.”

Clementine sighed, nodding her head again before leaning her head against his shoulder and brushing her hand around his waist. “Okay.”

“Again, Clem and I would like to thank everyone for coming. All of our friends and families, we know travel can be stressful and you guys all could’ve started your vacations a day earlier, but it means a lot. And of course to Jared and Danielle for hosting at their beautiful home. We appreciate every single one of you and are thankful that you guys chose to be here to celebrate our little girl.”

Her heart continued to thud against her chest as she stood there, trying not to look their guests in the eye for longer than a few seconds and trying her best to keep her smile on her face, but it was getting progressively harder the longer that he talked.

“Clem and I have talked names since way before this ever happened, but when it became real we got serious about it, having plenty of options for both boys and girls. And now that we know that we’re going to have a girl…we thought we might share with you all, the name we settled on for our little girl.” Tyson looked down at Clem and squeezed her hip reassuringly as he gave her a smile.

“We went through a lot of names, and trust me…Tys took this very seriously, it was almost a headache sometimes,” she laughed, clearing her throat and thankful that she no longer was having to force the smile on her face as she looked directly at where Tyson’s mom and Nana were sitting. She rested her right hand on her bump as she looked at him. “But we both agreed that if we were going to have a girl, we wanted our daughter to be named after the two women in our lives who influenced us the most growing up.”

“Yes,” Kacey smiled, jokingly pumping her fist as Tyson just waved her off.

Clementine leaned her head more against Tyson’s chest as she looked back in their direction. “So we’ve decided to name her Bailey Frances Jost.” She watched as the look of realization crossed both her Nana’s and Laura’s faces as everyone else focused on the family.

“For those of you who don’t know, my mom’s middle name is Bailey, which is where we got Bailey from. And Frances is Clem’s Nana’s name,” Tyson chimed in, motioning towards the two women. “And it was a very easy thing to agree on naming our daughter after the two of you.”

“Laura, you’ve been like a second mom to me the moment I met you. Marrying your son might have officially made me a part of your family in a legal sense, but you’ve brought me into your family the moment you picked up Tyson from Nana’s after school that first day.” Clementine smiled, looking from Tyson’s mom to her Nana, the tears building in her eyes. “Nana, you’re my mom. You’ve loved me and raised me all these years. The both of you have taught me so many things in life, but the most important thing is that the two of you have shown me just what a strong woman looks like and have molded me into the person that I am today.”

Clementine swallowed the knot in her throat as she tried to ground herself by moving the fabric of her dress with her fingertips. “And Tys and I hope that our daughter will be just as strong as the both of you.”

“Except I hope she doesn’t pull on my ear when she gets mad,” Tyson joked, breaking up the tension filled emotional moment. “That I hope is a habit she doesn’t get from the both of you.”

“But enough of the emotional sappy stuff,” Tyson said, clapping his hands together. “There’s still tons of food and drinks to eat, and plenty of fun to have. So, enjoy everybody!”

Clementine turned towards Tyson, brushing her hand against his back. “Tys–”

But before she could excuse herself to the bathroom for a moment to herself, Tyson kissed her before holding her against him, nodding his head. “I know you said you were thirsty, so let’s go get you something to drink and then you can sit down for a bit to rest your feet and warm up. Does that sound okay?”

From holding her smile from the moment that plastic puck exploded into pink powder, Clementine could feel the sides of her mouth start to twitch, but was still holding strong so she wouldn’t be caught in even the slightest expression of disappointment. “That sounds perfect,” she nodded, leaning into him as the two of them started to walk towards the kitchen.

For a party that’s main event had happened almost twenty minutes earlier, the whole thing was still swinging. None of the guests had left, there was still food and drinks to eat, the kids were running around and having a great time. One part that Clemetine hadn’t expected, was that their gender reveal party, was also secretly doubled as their baby shower– seeing as the timing of a baby shower when it’s normally done would have been in June, and it was up in the air whether or not the Wild would be in postseason.

So when she was once again, thanking people for all of the congratulations and making small talk, still trying to slip away for a moment for herself, Danielle had come up to her and told her how the rest of the WAGs decided to throw her a baby shower as well, that the presents everyone had bought had been ushered off by Jared and Tyson into a separate room– and it was time for her and Tyson both to sit down and open the gifts.

It was easy to excuse herself from Danielle, just by saying “of course, just let me go to the bathroom really quick and I’ll be right there,” was she able to get away from the party and go down the hall to one of the Spurgeon’s bathroom, closing the door. And once she was all alone with nobody around, she could finally stop holding back the true emotions she was feeling.

Hot tears slid down her cheeks, almost too fast for her to keep up with. Every wipe of her cheeks with the palm of her hand was pointless as tears quickly just fell right back down. She was leaning against the bathroom door, her upper back and head against the white painted wood being her support as she stood there and just cried. When she felt the sobs strangling in her throat, she reached out and pressed the switch that was next to the lightswitch, turning on the fan to hopefully muffle the noise. And when it was getting hard to breathe and she felt the snot drip from her nose, she moved herself away from the door and over to the sink, reaching down over the side and grabbing herself some toilet paper to blow and wipe her nose.

This was supposed to be the happiest moment of her life. She was going to be a mom. Her and Tyson were starting a family and actually having a real baby. Yet all of the excitement leading up these 11 weeks since she found out she was pregnant– the ultrasound appointments, the weekly updates Tyson read on the pregnancy tracking app they’d both downloaded, reading the baby books, spending too much time in the baby clothes aisles at stores, buying the furniture, putting together the nursery– all of that came crashing down on her in one single moment.

The moment that Tyson had taken the shot that exploded that plastic puck into a big cloud of pink, telling them that they were having a girl.

It was almost like that moment was the worst nightmare she’d never realized she’d had.

Suddenly, the bathroom door opened and she jumped in place out of fright. “Hey Clem–” Tyson stopped in the doorway, the concern written all over his face as he took in her appearance. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Get out, Tyson,” she said, barely recognizing her own voice but feeling the ache in her throat that was sore from crying.

He tried to walk into the bathroom, looking more worried than before. “Clem–”

“Leave! Go!” She yelled, pushing him back out of the door. “Leave me alone.”

She had managed to get him out of the door, Tyson clearly not putting up too much of a fight since if he had, he would’ve easily been able to power his way into the bathroom. But that didn’t mean he was letting her shut the door on him so easily, because that was where she was currently struggling.

“Clem come on,” he pleaded, and she could recognize a slight fear in his eyes as he looked at her and took in her puffy face, reddened cheeks and tear filled eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong, talk to me.”

“I want to be alone, Tyson,” she sniffled, wiping her nose with the inside of the jacket sleeve. “Just go–”

He pushed the door back open as she tried to shut it the rest of the way and shook his head. “Do you want me to get Nana? My mom–”

“No! I don’t want to talk to Nana, or you just–” Clementine felt her bottom lip start to quiver as she hung her head, sniffling. “Tyson please just go,” her voice wavered as she felt a new wave of tears fill her eyes. “Please.”

“Okay,” he spoke softly, and she could hear the resistance he was dealing with, not wanting to let her be alone in the bathroom but also not wanting to stress her out or make her upset anymore. “Okay, I’ll just…I guess I’ll just hold Danielle off on the baby shower gifts for a bit.”

Clementine just nodded before finally being able to close the door, shutting Tyson out of the bathroom and then locking the door this time. She closed her eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath before exhaling slowly and leaning her head against the wooden door, the sobs escaping from the back of her throat once more.

It was bad enough that she was crying because of the news that they were having a daughter, but it was even worse now, that Tyson had found her crying. Though to him, he probably assumed it was because of her pregnancy hormones– “tons of pregnant people cry, Clem. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” But she could only imagine the look on his face or what he would think of her when he found out she was crying because they weren’t having a son, but a daughter.

Would he be heartbroken? Ashamed? Angry? Would they get into a fight about how she should be ashamed for feeling this way? That she was a bad mom for not being as happy and excited as he was about their child? What would he say of her reasoning for her feelings she hadn’t even been fully aware of until this moment? Would he say it was just an excuse? Invalidate them?

Clementine hadn’t even realized the reasons why she had been preferring a son this entire time, not until the reality set in that they were having a daughter. Sure, there were small feelings of dread anytime Tyson mentioned their baby being a girl, but she always figured it was just because ideally she wanted a boy– just like they’d talked about. But then she realized, standing there in the living room and socializing with the guests post gender reveal, just why having girls never crossed her mind.

She loved their baby, she had from the moment she found out she was pregnant. But seeing that pink cloud…it scared her. It scared her because she suddenly saw a path form in her mind that she’d never even considered and maybe it was because she’d spent so many years pushing it into the very back depths of her mind…but here it was again, taunting her and staring her in the face with a haunting grin that seemed to say “this could be you in a few short months.”

A small knock came from the door, vibrating against Clementine’s head and brought her out of her thoughts. “Clementine?” It was Laura and she must have been speaking directly against the door, because Clem could hear her loud and clear, even in the soft and quiet voice she was using, probably to try and not bring attention to herself. “Clementine, sweetie…why don’t you let me in?”

Part of her felt angry at Tyson for getting his mom, because that meant that he’d told her what he’d seen. All she wanted was to be alone. She was embarrassed and scared and just wanted to deal with all of that with nobody else around her. The other part of her was telling her to answer the door, to let Laura in and tell her everything that she didn’t want Tyson or even Nana and Papa to know. Not that she didn’t trust them to not be angry at her for the way she felt, but because she didn’t want to hurt their feelings.

She was feeling this way about Tyson’s daughter, and it all stemmed from her own mother– Nana and Papa’s daughter. And sure, the baby she was carrying was going to be Laura’s first grandchild…but Clementine would feel more comfortable venting her feelings to her than them. Laura had been there from the moment Clem and Tyson became friends. She was another mother figure for her. She had done what Clementine’s own mother hadn’t– she’d raised her two kids when their dad wasn’t around, while Clementine’s had decided she wasn’t worth the hassle and dropped her off on a front porch in the snow.

And though it’s been 11 weeks from the moment she’d found out she was pregnant– the impending thought of how she’d turn out just like her mother, was just not starting to come to the forefront…all because of that exploding cloud of pink dust.

Clementine wiped her face with the sleeve of her jacket as she unlocked the bathroom door and stepped aside, opening it just slightly so Laura could come in. Once she saw her start to come in, Clementine moved further into the bathroom, giving Laura room to stand in there with her. She hugged her arms close to her as she watched Laure close and lock the door behind her before turning around to face her.

“Tyson told me you were upset,” she spoke carefully, almost as if she was trying to gauge how Clementine would react to her presence. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

The simple question just brought Clementine to tears as she felt her face start to scrunch and her vision blurred. She shook her head as she sniffled and hugged her arms closer to her, signaling to Laura that she, for the moment, was unable to speak. And Laura just stepped closer to her, holding her arms out to show that she was going to hug her before wrapping her arms around Clementine and hugging her tightly, rubbing her back as she just broke down against her sweater.

“Shh, it’s okay Clem,” Laure whispered, brushing her hand down the back of Clementine’s hair. “Whatever it is, it’s going to be okay.”

Clementine held onto Laura tightly, feeling the fabric of her sweater bunched in her palms as her heart raced. “I can’t have a daughter,” she whimpered, scared to hear Laura’s reaction as her breathing picked up. “I can’t, Laura. I just, I–I–”

Laura pulled back out of their hug and for a split second, Clementine’s worst fears came true– that no matter who she confided in, they would be ashamed or upset at her current feelings. But instead of reprimanding her like she feared, Laura brought her hands up to Clementine’s face, cupping her chin and getting her to look at her.

“Clementine, you need to take a deep breath, okay?” She spoke calmly, nodding her head as she took a deep breath herself. “Breathe with me, just follow me and relax.”

Clementine nodded her head as she looked at her through blurred vision, trying her best to slow down her rapid breathing by breathing along with Laura. A deep breath in…a slow exhale out. Again and again, until her racing heart calmed down and she was no longer breathing rapidly through her mouth. 

“Good, Clem, good,” Laura smiled, still keeping her focus on her. “Now tell me again what’s wrong.”

“I can’t…have a daughter, Laura,” Clementine spoke softly, averting her eyes away from Laura’s as she shook her head. “I…I wanted a boy because…” she felt her throat tighten and she stopped, taking another deep breath and exhaling.

“Why do you think you can’t have a daughter, Clementine?” Laura asked, keeping her calm and soothing voice.

She chewed on the inside of her cheek, trying to gain some composure before she could bring herself to look back at Laura and answer. “I’m scared,” her bottom lip quivered as she looked back at Laura. “I’m scared that I won’t be a good mom to her like Nana and you we-were to me. That I’ll be just like my mom.” She sniffled and reached up, wiping at her eyes.

Laura nodded, removing her hands from Clementine’s face before walking over towards the toilet, motioning for Clementine to sit down on top of the closed lid. Clementine walked over and sat down in front of Laura, resting her hands in her lap as Laura grabbed some toilet paper and dampened it in the sink before she started to wipe at what was probably the mascara streaks on Clementine’s face.

“I only came into your life when you were five years old, so I didn’t know your mother personally. But what I do know is that she missed out on the beautiful, smart, kind, passionate and overall amazing woman you grew up to be.” Laura said, carefully wiping beneath Clementine’s eyes. “I can’t speak for the kind of woman she was, though I do know I can say for certain that I can’t fathom why she left you the way that she did.”

Laura tossed the toilet paper into the trashcan before grabbing and rolling up a few more sheets and carefully blotting her skin. “But what I do know is that you were raised by the two most loving people I’ve met aside from my own parents. With the way your mother left you behind, you could’ve turned out very differently, Clementine. You could’ve been angry, bitter, you could’ve never found yourself in this very place– married with a baby on the way. But I truly believe that while you are your mother’s daughter genetically, you are more of Frances and Howard than you have ever been or ever will be Adelisa.”

Clementine felt the tears build in her eyes again as she took in Laura’s words. “What if I’m not a good mom?” She whispered, playing with her hands. “I know I’m not going to abandon her like my mom did me…but what if I’m not like your or Nana? What if I’m just like her?”

“I’m going to tell you what my mom told me when I took Tyson home from the hospital after he was born and absolutely terrified I was going to screw up” she said, tossing the toilet paper into the small trash can before squatting down in front of Clementine and holding her hands. “As long as you’re trying your very best and your baby is loved, you’re already on your way to being a good mom.”

“Clementine, I’ve seen how excited and how invested you are in taking care of yourself and your baby. You’ve been reading books, doing the research on what the safest furniture is, you’ve been eating healthy– you’re already a good mom.” Laura said, squeezing her hands and looking her in the eyes as if she was trying to hammer it into her head.

“Even if I just spent the last five minutes crying in a bathroom because of pink dust?” Clementine sniffled, feeling like she was a child again.

“Even if you’re upset because it was pink dust and not blue.” Laura laughed, nodding her head. “You know, when I found out Tyson was a boy, I was upset. Not so much along the lines of why you are, but because I’d read horror stories about diaper changing for baby boys when I was reading books. I was terrified to be peed on.”

Clementine laughed and wiped her eyes, nodding her head. “When we read that Tyson said he was going to buy hazmat suits off of Amazon to wear during a diaper change.”

When things settled down, Laura squeezed her hands again, giving her a supportive smile. “I’m not saying you can’t or shouldn’t be upset Clementine, because your reasons are very, very valid. And even if they weren’t, gender disappointment is real and it’s okay. But I’m going to tell you right now, that I know deep down inside of my heart, that you,” she held her hands tightly, looking directly into her eyes and nodding. “You are going to be an incredible mother. And if you need any help or have any questions, you know you can reach out to your Nana and Papa and me, heck– you know my parents would love to help you both as well. You and Tyson aren’t alone in this, especially you. You’ve got us in your corner, even Kacey. Okay?”

“Okay,” she nodded, leaning forward and hugging Laura tightly before leaning back and standing up.

“Before we go back out there, I do think this should be something you talk to Tyson about,” she spoke carefully, nodding her head. “He won’t be upset, Clementine, I promise. He wants to support you and be there for you in any way that he can– and communication during a pregnancy is very important.”

Clementine nodded, wiping her eyes again. “I’ll talk to him tonight. And I’ll probably ask Dr. Cortez or Dr. Johnson if maybe they know someone I can talk to, too. For that and for other parents' fears, you know?”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” she smiled, walking to the bathroom door and looking back over her shoulder. “Are you ready to go out there?”

Clementine nodded as she let go of Laura’s hand and the two walked out of the bathroom, back down the hall to rejoin the party. As if he’d been spending his entire time standing within eyeshot of the hall entrance, Tyson made eye contact with them both and then immediately excused himself from his conversation with Gabe and rushed over to them.

“I’ll go check on Frances and Howard,” Laura said, giving Clemetine a supportive nod and smile before rubbing Tyson’s shoulder and walking away from them.

Tyson looked behind him at the party before nudging Clementine back into the hall, allowing them to have some sort of privacy away from partygoer eyes. “I know you said you just wanted to be alone but–”

Clementine just wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed herself against his chest, hugging him. “Thank you,” she whispered, closing her eyes as she focused on the sound of his heart beating through his chest.

“Is everything okay?” He asked, holding her tightly as if he didn’t want to let her go. “You scared me there for a bit Clem. I didn’t know if something had happened to you or to the baby or–”

“For right now everything’s fine. I’m fine,” Clementine nodded, pulling out of the hug and looking at him, grabbing his hand and resting it on top of her bump and keeping her hand on top of his. “And she’s perfectly fine.”

Tyson looked down, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “Then what happened? Is it the party? Did you not want to do a baby shower too?” He looked out towards the party, shaking his head and looking back at her. “Because if so I can go out and tell Danielle and Jared–”

“No, Tyson, it’s not the party, the party is fine and right now, I’m fine,” she nodded, taking a deep breath and exhaling. “Let’s just enjoy the rest of the party and tonight when we go home, I promise I’ll tell you everything…okay?”

“You promise?” He asked, still a concerned frown on his face.

Clementine nodded, holding up her right pinky. “Pinky promise.”

Tyson looked down at her hand and smiled softly, linking his right pinky with hers before leaning in and kissing her, pulling away just barely. “You really scared me, Clementine,” he said, pressing another kiss to her forehead. “I was about to have them stop the party and find a way to break into the bathroom.”

“I’m sorry, Tys,” she said, hugging him again and resting her chin on his chest, looking up at him. “I promise I didn’t mean to. I just got very overwhelmed and swept up in my thoughts and…” she exhaled, not letting herself get emotional again. “I’ll explain everything when we’re home and in bed, okay?”

He nodded, and she could still tell he was a little worried about her, but she leaned up and kissed him again before stepping back and holding his hand. “Come on, we’ve got some presents to open for little miss here.” She pressed her hand on her bump, still a little hesitant, but not wanting to let her own thoughts get in the way of what is a good day. “I just hope the clothes are all gender neutral if people bought them.”

“Don’t worry, they are,” he nodded, squeezing her hand softly. “Danielle and I made sure it was in a small note at the bottom if anyone was going to buy clothes as a gift, to make sure it was gender neutral. So it’s safe to say Bailey here might be wearing a lot of yellows, greens and gray for a bit.” He joked, a more natural smile on his face.

“I’m sure she’ll love it,” Clemetine replied, smiling at him as she leaned her head against his bicep and kept her left hand on her bump, softly rubbing against the fabric of her dress and feeling a little more at ease now than she had initially.

Small steps…that’s all she needed to focus on right now. Just the small steps and she knew that with Tyson and their families by their side, she’d get to where she needed to be.

Third Trimester

The Wild’s postseason run for the 2023-2024 season had unfortunately come to an end in the second round with a loss to Dallas Stars. What had turned out to be a heartbreaking series that the Wild had started off with a bang and ended up losing by two games, the impending birth of their daughter was perhaps the only thing that had kept Tyson from feeling blue for too long. Not too long after wrapping up the season, Tyson and Clementine had packed up what they were going to take back to their home in St. Albert, secured their home for the time being and then made their way back to their hometown for the remainder of the summer as they waited for the arrival of their daughter.

Clementine had stuck with her promise of telling Tyson about what had happened in the bathroom at their gender reveal party and why she was so upset. And just like Laura had said, Tyson wasn’t upset at her for the fact that she had been disappointed with the reveal that they were having a daughter or the fear of how she wouldn’t be able to be a good mom or didn’t want a daughter. If anything, he was supportive.

Just like his mom had done, Tyson had given her a pep-talk, assuring her that she was going to be a great mom. But also doubling down on how she didn’t need to feel ashamed for feeling the way she did and more importantly, that she didn’t need to fear how he would react, because he was always going to be on her team– she was his best friend. Together, they had reached out to Dr. Cortez shortly after the gender reveal party, who had put them in touch with a therapist that she often recommended to other soon-to-be or already are, mothers who just needed someone to talk to in regards to pregnancy or their post-birth life. And twice a week over the computer, Clementine would talk to her therapist– Cindy– and started to find her way in navigating her feelings about her mom, her pregnancy and their daughter.

And even when they moved back up to St. Albert, Tyson joined in on the sessions, learning how he could support Clementine when maybe things were getting rough or things felt stressful after the baby was born. Their sessions were especially helpful when they had to switch their OBGYN for when the baby was born, since they were going to be up in St. Albert. Having to switch OBGYN’s twice during one pregnancy wasn’t common, and for a first time mom, Clementine felt super stressed. But, her sessions with Tyson and Cindy, as well as her Nana and Laura helping her find a good OB helped her through it. And she knew that when they were back in Minnesota, that Dr. Cortez and Dr. Johnson (seeing if she was back) would both be there for any questions or concerns she had following the birth.

Now though, at 36 weeks pregnant and only being four weeks away from giving birth, Clementine felt more confident and comfortable in her potential of being a mother, and even moreso, with the fact that they were having a daughter.

Despite living in Minnesota for the eight to nine months out of the year, their home in St. Albert still felt like home. They only lived five minutes away from their families and their house was of similar size and features to their home in Minnesota. The only downside, was that they’d spent the last few weeks unpacking the boxes of baby clothes and diapers they’d shipped up here knowing they’d be up here for at least almost three months. That also included nursery furniture they’d bought for their home here that needed to be unpacked and put together, along with the nursery in general that needed to be decorated and put together.

It was a lot of things, but they’d managed to do most of them together. At least when Tyson let Clementine help out instead of telling her to just relax and hang out with Fudge or whichever family member had come over to visit that day.

He had done it again today too. Up in the nursery, Clementine had finished unpacking the clothes and diapers and set up both the inside of what would be Bailey’s closet. She’d also finished filling the metal over the door hanger that would hold diaper changing supplies and other stuff they could put in the closet that was overflow from the drawers of the changing table. She offered to help Tyson put together the crib, only for Tyson to suggest that maybe she go downstairs and relax for a bit. That he would only be a little bit longer before he was coming downstairs to make lunch for them.

While part of her had felt a little annoyed at how he insisted she didn’t help, she knew that he was only doing so because she was so far along now that it was important that she didn’t exert herself too much. Plus, she really couldn’t stand up by herself or even see her toes, so she never allowed herself to get too mad when he would brush her off. He was right though, she did need to sit down and rest for a bit, her back was starting to ache and she’d been feeling the throbbing in her feet get worse by the second.

Fudge had followed her downstairs, just like she’d been following her around the house anywhere she went. Clementine had let Fudge out into the backyard, standing there in the doorframe and using it as a means of support while she waited for Fudge to go to the bathroom and sniff around for a few minutes. And when Fudge came back in, she slid the door shut and locked it, turning around and making her way over to couch in the living room. She knew she was tired when she could actually feel herself get excited about laying down and propping her feet up onto a few pillows.

Yet before she could even make it to the couch to sit down, the doorbell rang. Clementine sighed, feeling a little disappointed that she hadn’t been able to sit down for a bit. But she knew that their families were constantly making stops by the house as her due date got closer. Most of the time they were just stopping in to make sure everything was okay and seeing if they needed anything before hanging around and then going home. Today though, she knew that Kacey was planning on stopping by with Nana and Laura to help with hanging some of the wall decorations they’d gotten for the nursery.

When Clementine got to the door, she looked through the peephole and saw two teenagers standing there– a boy and a girl. The girl looked to be 18, maybe 19 years old and the boy looked to be about the same age, maybe a little younger despite being taller than her. They both had dark brown hair and looked like they could even be siblings. School wasn’t in session, so she wasn’t sure why they were on her porch, but they also looked a little nervous, the two of them talking to each other quietly– not that Clemetine could hear them anyway.

She really needed to get someone out there to install their Ring doorbell.

Nothing about the two teenagers seemed threatening, so she stepped away from the peephole and unlocked the door, opening it and seemingly catching the two teenagers by surprise as she stood on the opposite side of the screen door they’d had installed for days when the weather was nice and they just wanted to sit inside of the house and feel the breeze or hear the rain echo through.

“Hello,” Clementine said, looking at the two of them as she held onto the front door for a little support. “How can I help you guys?”

She was met with shocked stares as both teenagers turned away from each other and faced her. She was starting to feel a little uneasy with the awkward silence that was passing between the three of them, almost considering closing the door on them until she saw the boy nudge the girl beside him. 

“Are you Clementine Blake?” She said fast, a little loud too and blushing after the words had left her mouth. Almost as if she hadn’t meant for the question to come out that way.

“It’s Clementine Jost now…but yes, that’s me.” Clementine furrowed her eyebrows as she looked between the two teens, feeling confused on how they knew her name. “I’m sorry, do I know you two?”

“No…well yeah, kind of…I guess,” the boy rambled, seeming just as nervous as his sister and when he looked at her, it looked as if he was hoping she would fill in for him– help him not be as nervous. But she was still looking at Clementine as if she was in a sort of confused disbelief. “I’m Hayden Johnston and this is my older sister Emily.”

There was something familiar about the two of them that Clementine couldn’t quite put her finger on. She wasn’t sure if it was their names or their faces, but she felt like she’d seen them before…or knew them somehow. She opened her mouth to speak when the girl– Emily– suddenly seemed to zone back in from her own shock and spoke instead.

“Our dad’s Thomas Johnston and our mom’s Adelisa Johnston…formally Adelisa Blake,” Emily swallowed heavily as she motioned towards Hayden, looking at Clementine with a nervous gaze. “We’re your half-siblings.”

It was like all of the breath had been sucked out of her lungs at the mere mention of her mom’s name. And the two of them– Emily and Hayden– they were her half-siblings. Her mom had had more kids…she had siblings after all these years. And suddenly, with the news, she could see the similarities between them. All three had the same dark hair and the same eye shape. Hayden and her both had their mom’s eyes, while Emily had green eyes– presumably coming from their father’s side.

“I’m sorry,” Clementine finally spoke, clearing her throat as her grip on the door tightened and she started to feel the tears burn in her eyes. “I just…how old are you guys?”

“I just turned 19 last week, on wednesday…June eighth.” Emily said, still looking a little cautious at the situation.

“And I turned 18 in February,” Hayden spoke carefully, digging his hands into his short pockets. “February 15th, actually.”

Their birthdays were a day apart. Clementine had been born on February 14th– Valentines Day. While Hayden’s was February 15th. Obviously they were years apart in age– but that made her wonder if her mother ever thought about her as his birthday neared. Did she even celebrate her birthday? Clearly she had to have done something to make the two of them find their way to her home.

They knew about her. They came searching for her.

But why? How?

She wasn’t sure what to say next or how to even feel. Sure, she felt hurt by the fact her mother started a whole new family without her. Part of her felt angry too– but she’d spent so many years angry at her mother, she wasn’t really sure if there was any more anger to have. More than anything, she just felt confused.

“Clem, have you seen my flathead screwdriver? It’s not in my kit.” Tyson asked, his footsteps echoing through the house as he walked down the stairs before making his way over. “Who’s at the door?”

She looked over her shoulder to see Tyson coming closer and then stepped aside to make room for him. “Tyson, this is–”

“Oh!” He said, stopping by the front door and smiling. “You guys must be Emily and Hayden.”

“How do you know that?” Clementine asked, looking at him in confusion.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have come over…” Emily said, still clearly a little on edge as she looked at Hayden. “We can go–”

“No, no, come on in,” Tyson said, unlatching the screen door and nudging it open. “I was just getting ready to make us lunch. Nana Blake told me you were coming, so come on in.”

The two teenagers shared a look before Emily made the first move to walk into the house, carefully stepping inside and standing off to the side to wait for Hayden to follow behind. “Your house is beautiful,” she said, looking around her. “It’s really homey, I love it.”

“Thanks, Clem did some of the decorating,” Tyson joked, closing the screen door and locking it again.

“Some?” Clementine said, shutting the front door and crossing her arms. “I did all of it. If you did any decorating, the living room would be nothing but sports memorabilia.”

“Kidding, babe,” he said, stepping towards her and kissing her cheek. “You two go ahead into the kitchen, it’s straight ahead. Fudge is probably eating out of her bowel, don’t mind her. She’s a real sweetheart. If she tries to jump on you, just tell her no and she’ll get right down, no hard feelings.”

The two siblings took their shoes off by the front door before slowly making their way towards the kitchen, walking side by side as if they were sticking together and unsure about whether or not they should have accepted Tyson’s invitation.

“Nana told you?!” Clementine whispered, grabbing onto Tyson’s arm as she looked at him with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah…I just forgot to tell you,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Pregnancy brain is contagious, you know.”

Clementine shook her head and let go of his arm, hugging her arms close to her chest as she looked off towards the kitchen. “I– I don’t know what to do, Tys. What do I say? I don’t know them and they– I don’t even know what they know about me!”

“They know about you, Clem. They’ve been staying with Nana and Papa for the last three days.” He whispered, looking off at the kitchen. “Showed up on their front porch Thursday night asking if they were Adelisa’s parents and then spent the last few days getting to know them. They asked about you and Nana told them you lived here and they almost weren’t going to come, but you know how Nana is. So, she convinced them and well…I guess they came.”

She sighed in disbelief, looking off towards the kitchen where she could hear Fudge’s nails against the tiling, followed by what was the familiar thumping of her tail against a cabinet. She must be getting head rubs from either Hayden or Emily. “Tys…”

“You saw them Clem. I can guarantee you that they’re just as nervous as you are about this,” Tyson said, reaching down and holding her hand. “Let’s just make some lunch and get to know them, okay? They’re apparently leaving on Friday, so they’ll only be around for four more days. If it turns out that you don’t like them? You never have to talk to them again. But if you do? Then that’s two more people you can add to your family– a brother and a sister, so now you can stop hogging mine.”

Clementine rolled her eyes and nudged his arm. “You’re annoying.”

“No I’m not, you love me.” Tyson smiled, leaning down and kissing her. “Now come on, let me see if I can impress my possible future brother and sister-in-law with my cooking prowess.”

“You literally said you were going to make grilled cheese, Tys.” Clementine replied.

“I might step up my game now,” he replied, draping an arm over her shoulder and pulling her into his side. “Come on, don’t be nervous I’m right here with you, okay?”

She nodded, wrapping her arm around his waist and leaned into his side. She took a deep breath and exhaled, looking towards the kitchen. “Okay.”

Naturally, the beginning of lunch was extremely tense and awkward. Tyson, bless his soul, tried his very best to try and alleviate all of the tension by filling out any of the small, awkward silences by asking questions about Emily and Hayden’s home life, school, or by telling them a little bit about him and Clem’s past and current present. In the middle of eating the grilled cheese sandwiches, Nana, Laura and Kacey had arrived and thankfully, their arrival took a little bit of the awkwardness out of the room.

So instead of Tyson just talking, it turned into Kacey, Laura, Tyson and Nana talking. The three siblings would chime in every now and then, but it was still, obviously a little awkward. Clementine noticed though, just how relaxed that Emily and Hayden had seemed around Nana and she remembered that she wasn’t the only one in the situation who had missed out on their entire existence. Sure, while she had missed out on knowing her half-siblings– which it turns out she has another one, a six year old brother named Tristan, who according to Emily and Hayden based on the pictures that Nana and Papa had shown them, looks just like Clementine did, only with the green eyes that their father had– Nana and Papa had missed out on three additional grandchildren.

Three grandchildren that could have received the same love, attention and happy memories that Clementine had made with the two of them in her life. She wondered how Nana and Papa were so easily to warm up to the two of them. Granted they were their grandchildren and Clementine knew that no matter what, they’d love their grandchildren. But they too had been deprived of a relationship with them because of their own daughter’s actions. How could they just not think about that even sitting in the same room as them?

Funny enough though, once the conversation really started flowing after the three new guests had gotten there, Clementine too found herself starting to open up more and so did Emily and Hayden. She found out that her and Emily actually had a birthmark in the same exact place– on the right side of their ribs– and that just like she was, Hayden was better at English than he was at math and science. That she and Emily both preferred Christmas to Halloween, though they loved Hocus Pocus. She and Hayden loved to ride roller coasters– unless they were the lap bars…they both hated those.

It amazed her the more that she talked and listened to them, that she found the small things in common that they had despite never meeting or speaking until today. And as the hours ticked by, she felt herself begin to understand that the tension and uncertain feelings she had towards them, only turned out to be anger and confusion towards Adelisa.

After lunch, the whole group went back upstairs into the nursery, Hayden helping Tyson finish putting together the crib, while Nana, Laura, Kacey and Emily helped Clementine put together the picture frames, as well as hang the wall decorations they’d already bought, along with finish organizing the closet since Kacey and Laura had brought more diapers and clothes because “we stopped at the store and couldn’t resist all of the cute clothes.”

By the time dinner had rolled around, the nursery was basically set up, aside from the rocking chair that needed to be moved into the room from downstairs, but Hayden offered to carry it up the stairs and once he did that– the nursery was all complete. Tyson offered to order everyone pizza for dinner and everyone moved downstairs except for Clementine who had made a short trip into their bedroom to go to the bathroom. When she was done, she made her way back out of the bedroom and ready to head towards the stairs, but she decided to stop by the nursery one last time.

Looking at the set up that Tyson, she and their friends and families had brought to life from her pinterest board was a surreal moment. In the moments that she had made the board, just jotting down ideas what she’d like to see in their future baby’s nursery, she for some reason, could never fathom actually seeing all the bits and pieces come to life. The light lilac painted walls were complimented by the offwhite furniture pieces throughout the nursery. The one piece of furniture that had stood out, was the old mahogany rocking chair that her Nana had gifted her when she and Tyson had come back for the summer.

It was the same rocking chair that she used to rock her own daughter in, and then on some nights when Clementine couldn’t sleep, she’d sit in the chair with her and hold her, rocking her to sleep even though she was five years old. A chair that had sat in her office, Clementine always remembering sitting in it herself as a child and watching her Nana sit and do her work, or sometimes, just watch her work on her art projects. She was fond of the chair and looked forward to rocking Bailey in it on those sleepless nights, or any of their children after if they decide to have more. And then even one day, passing it on.

There was no specific theme to their nursery, not really. It had a modern touch, along with a sort of dreamy and modern Disney theme. Tyson suggested that maybe they shouldn’t try to do a theme and just see what they find and pick it out because he said it would be less stressful…and he was right. It was extremely less stressful worrying about liking one decoration but realizing that it just didn’t fit in with the rest. Instead, they did try to match of course, but they just knew they wanted to make it a peaceful and happy place for whenever Bailey would start to sleep in her crib.

“It looks really good,” Clementine looked away from the fully furnished crib to see Emily standing in the doorway, slowly walking in. “She’s going to be one lucky kid.”

“Thank you,” Clementine nodded, resting her hand on her large bump and rubbing it softly as she laughed. “Though I doubt she’ll appreciate all of it…being a baby and all, you know?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Emily said, putting her hands in the back of her jean pockets. “I mean, yeah, she’ll probably love all of this stuff too…but I meant it about you and Tyson. You guys are going to be great parents, I can already tell.”

She tried not to let Emily see her be shocked, but she couldn’t help it. “Oh, well…thanks,” she said, turning towards her and nodding. “That really means a lot to hear that. It’s been one of my biggest worries since–”

“Since our mom is who she is?” Emily added, ever so blunt.

Clem nodded, sighing. “Yeah, exactly.”

“Sometimes I wonder if she ever would’ve told us about you if I hadn’t gone searching for my passport.” Emily walked over towards the rocking chair, resting her hand on the back of it. “There’s a picture of her holding you in this chair in your baby book…I recognized the chair the moment I saw it. Because I remember staring at every picture in the book wondering about you. What happened to you, if you were still alive…there were so many questions, you know?”

“Baby book?” Clementine asked, feeling unsure. “She has that?”

“Mhhm,” Emily nodded. “When I grabbed the box she kept our passports in, a second box fell down and your book and a bunch of pictures and stuff all fell out.” She walked back over to Clementine, taking her phone out of her pocket and tapping the screen before handing it over. “That’s how I found everything. Confronted her about it too and she was silent for the first time since well…I can remember.”

Clementine grabbed her phone and swiped through the pictures. Sure enough, Emily had taken pictures of pages in the baby book that looked to have been filled out through at least her first year, like most baby books were. Seeing as how she ended up in the custody of her grandparents, she couldn’t believe the pictures of a baby her, her mom and the man she’d only seen in a few pictures that Nana and Papa had, but she knew was her dad. Though they’d only met her father a handful of times, Nana and Papa never had anything bad to say about him and spoke of him as a polite, quiet young man who adored Clementine more than anything.

Growing up, she’d always wondered what life would have been like had her father not died. She used to dwell on the thoughts for a while, eventually making herself upset to the point of tears and would ask Nana and Papa why her father had to die or why Adelisa left her behind. But as she got older, she learned that there was no point in dwelling on the fact since it was nothing that could be changed. Still though, there was a big part of her that wished she’d gotten to know her father better. What parts of him that she inherited.

“What did she say?” Clementine asked, part of her wanting to know how Adelisa felt being confronted with Emily’s discovery. “If she said anything.”

“She tried to shut me down, but I wouldn’t let it go, you know? I mean what kind of parent keeps their children a secret? So I followed her through the house asking and we were…we were arguing about it which is how it got my dad’s attention the moment he walked into the house.”

Clementine could tell that Emily was starting to revert into her shell and she shook her head, placing her hand on her shoulder. “You really don’t have to— I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable by asking.”

“You didn’t, it’s just…I’m thinking about how Hayden and I were listening in on them while she was explaining and I…our dad rarely ever got mad at home, despite being a lawyer. But he,” she took a deep breath and exhaled. “He was really upset with her.”

Emily looked around the nursery, shaking her head before looking at Clementine. “He never even knew about you. Mom…she had told him back when they were dating that you had died in an accident with your dad. That that’s why she had relocated to Toronto…to start fresh. And then she went on saying how she left you with her parents and she only did it because she loved him and saw a future with him and I guess he had said he wasn’t sure about wanting kids yet.”

“But that’s the thing I just don’t understand, you know?” She said, crossing her arms. “Why didn’t she ever come back to get you once she knew that he wanted kids? Once they got married? I just- I can’t wrap my head around how she’s the PTA mom that I grew up with, always involved in our activities and read us bedtime stories…but at the same time she’s also the mom who dropped her five year old off in the middle of the night on a front porch in a snowstorm…and never looked back.”

It wasn’t hard to see that Emily was where Clementine had been years ago, when she was constantly battling with the thoughts of being able to wrap her mind around what Adelisa had done. When she was going through it, she had a whole small army of people that loved her around her– Tyson in particular was helpful in getting through the constant ‘why didn’t she want me?’ questions. And sure, maybe Emily and Hayden had their dad…hell, maybe they even had Adelisa to help them through it. But right now, they were on the complete opposite side of the country.

Her fingers were fidgeting by her side as she thought about what to do, but there was never any hesitation the moment the thought crossed her mind. She reached out, placing her hand on Emily’s shoulder, gaining her attention to see that she was clearly hurting from the whole situation. And then, she just stepped closer to her and hugged her. Admittedly, she was nervous that Emily would pull away or just stand there and not hug her back– in fact, she feared it. But instead of awkwardly accepting the hug or denying it…she hugged her back. She hugged her back harder than Clementine had expected. As if she was scared to let go.

Or as if she felt safe enough to.

“I’m sorry for what she did,” Emily sniffled,

“Don’t be,” Clementine spoke softly, rubbing small circles against Emily’s back. “I stopped letting what she did bother me years ago. 

“It just makes me so…so angry at what she took from all of us. All of those years…I just, I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it.”

It felt like she was hearing her younger self say the exact words to Tyson. Expressing to him just how angry and upset she was that Adelisa never came back for her and how she felt like she was going to spend the rest of her life harboring those feelings of resentment. But she made it through. Sure, there will always be parts of her that would never fully get over how her own mother abandoned her, but with the right support, those thoughts no longer plagued her mind and she no longer felt that anger every day of her life.

“You will. I promise you that one day you’ll wake up feeling a little less angry and hurt and then every day afterwards it’ll be the same until you’re not anymore. I’ve been in your very shoes, I know that frustration and anger. But I promise that it doesn’t last forever.”

Emily just nodded and hugged Clementine a little tighter, resting her head on her shoulder as the two of them stood there and kept the comforting embrace. It was strange to Clementine just how natural this felt– comforting Emily. All her life she’d wanted siblings, she’d even adopted Kacey as her own younger sister. Yet even though she’d only met Emily today, it felt like she was hugging and comforting someone she’s known for her entire life.

“Oh!” Emily gasped, sniffling as she pulled back out of the hug and looked down at Clementine’s bump. “I think she just kicked because I definitely felt that.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Clementine laughed, patting the side of her bump. “This thing gets in the way a lot of the time. But that might’ve been her, she’s been really active lately.”

“That’s okay,” she laughed, clearing her throat and wiping at her eyes. “Though maybe she’ll end up playing soccer instead of being interested in hockey, because that was quite a kick.”

“Well Tyson’s already got his heart set on teaching her how to skate, so she’ll at least learn that.” Clementine smiled, looking back up at Emily.

“We should probably get downstairs before they send a search party,” Emily laughed softly, nodding her head towards the door. “I’m getting a sense that Tyson’s the type.”

“Please, just two weeks ago he came rushing into the bathroom because he heard the bathtub draining and I didn’t call out to him for help out of the tub. It’s been pretty hard navigating with this big ole thing, but sometimes I’m able to push myself up and not fall over.”

They both laughed as Clementine turned the lights off in the nursery and they both walked out into the hallway, ready to go down the stairs as Emily started to take the first few steps. “Hey, Emily?”

“Hm?” She asked, stopping and looking over her shoulder.

“What you said about how she took away all of those years from us…just because we missed so many, doesn’t mean that we still can’t take advantage of the ones we have now and in the future.” Clementine said, swallowing the nervous knot in her throat. “You and Hayden are more than welcome to stay with Tyson and I when you visit, both here and in Minnesota. And when the time comes, if there’s ever a good time…I’d really be up to and like to meeting Tristan too. Bailey’s going to know about her aunt’s and uncles, and I want her to be able to meet you all one day.”

“I think that sounds great,” Emily nodded, a small smile on her face. “And I know it probably doesn’t mean much and I don’t want you to feel pressured…but our dad’s a good guy, he really is. And I think if you were ever up to it too, he’d probably want to meet you and apologize.”

Clementine pondered on the offer. She knew that at one point in time, she’d probably have to meet the hot shot lawyer that her mom ultimately ditched her for. If this opportunity were to have come up years ago, she would have immediately shot it down. But knowing that he was just as much of a victim in the lie Adelisa told had her feeling sympathy towards him.

“Okay, yeah,” Clementine nodded, starting to walk with him down the stairs. “I can’t promise it’ll be any soon, especially with Bailey coming within the next month. But whenever there’s a chance, if there’s a chance, sure. But–”

“No mom, I promise,” Emily said, shaking her head. “Don’t worry. And between you and me…even if you did want to meet up with her, I’m not all too confident that she’d show up. I think she’s too ashamed.”

“Geez, did you guys get lost?” Tyson asked, appearing at the end of the stairs. “Pizza’s gonna be here any minute and Em, Hayden’s out on the front porch on the phone with your dad and said to tell you to go out there.”

Emily nodded and jogged the rest of the way down the steps before turning left and heading out onto the front porch while Clementine carefully walked down the stairs, keeping a hand on the handrail and her bump at the same time before Tyson reached out for a hand to help her on the last two steps.

“You guys were up there for a while, did you get stuck in the bathroom?” Tyson asked, nodding his head up towards the top of the stairs.

“No, we were just talking about our mom and how Emily found out about me.”

Tyson raised his eyebrows and tilted his head. “Oh? And how did that go?”

“Actually…really good,” Clementine laughed softly, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Obviously the passport search happened, but then a box fell and it was a box of pictures and other stuff Adelisa had kept, including my baby book. And apparently, she came clean about it to the lawyer–”

“Thomas?”

“Mhhm, and we talked about maybe one day us getting to meet Tristan…even Thomas. She said Adelisa would probably be too ashamed to…”

“And are you disappointed about it?” Tyson asked, trying to gauge her reaction.

Clementine shrugged, looking at him. “I’m not sure. I think I’m indifferent about it. It won’t hurt my feelings anymore if she doesn’t want to and it’s not something I need to do, you know?” She took a deep breath and sighed. “I did tell her that she and Hayden are more than welcome to stay with us if they decide to visit here or Minnesota. And that I’d really like for Bailey to know them, you know?”

Tyson nodded, holding her as close to him as he could without pressing against her bump. “I think that would be great,” he said, kissing the top of her head before looking out towards the door. “They’re really cool kids, just from what we’ve seen.”

“Yeah, they are,” Clementine nodded, resting her head down against his chest.

“Hey Clement– um…Clem?” Hayden said, poking his head past the screen door and looking at her and Tyson and looking extremely nervous. “My dad’s on the phone, if you want– I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to–”

Clementine looked up at Tyson who shrugged and gave her a ‘why not?’ look. She leaned up and kissed him before removing her arms from around his waist and turning towards the front door. “Yeah, count me in.”

“That’s okay I under– wait, what?” Hayden’s eyes widened and then he smiled before opening the door the rest of the way for her to walk through. “Okay, yeah, come on.”

Tyson reached out and grabbed her hand, giving her a smile and a supportive squeeze. “I love you.”

She smiled and squeezed his hand back. “I love you too.”

Labor

They’d heard all of the stories– Tyson was born two weeks early, Clementine born right on time. They knew that with this being their first pregnancy, that the odds of Bailey making an appearance before her due date was possible…and it was also possible that their due date would come and go and still– no baby.

Which is exactly where they were at.

It was July 1st and Clementine was sitting three days past her 40 week mark and it was driving her absolutely wild. Partially because she and Tyson just wanted their daughter to be here so they could hold her and love her and just begin their life together as a family of three. But for most of it, she was just tired of being pregnant. Her boobs were constantly aching, she couldn’t get more than 20 minutes of solid sleep before her back would ache or she’d have to get up to pee. Tyson has to shave her legs for her since she couldn’t reach them even if she had the strength to bend over. Hell, she couldn’t even remember what her own feet looked like– but at least Kacey was nice enough to give her a pedicure when she told her that Tyson had offered.

“No offense, Ty– but we’ve seen your art skills. You can’t color inside the lines, I doubt you’d be able to paint her toes without making a mess.”

All week she’d been feeling some irregular contractions and as of yesterday afternoon, Dr. Warren, her new OBGYN, confirmed that she was in early labor and that she’d in fact lost her mucus plug. However, she was only two centimeters dilated and there was really nothing to do but wait until her contractions got more persistent and of course, for her water to break. While it was great news that it meant Bailey was on her way, it was still not what either of them wanted to here. At this point, everything just felt like a waiting game at this point, which wasn’t all that great because Clementine and Tyson weren’t the most patient people.

So last night was another night of not the best sleep, constant groaning and adjusting with her pregnancy pillow. A few times she’d accidentally nudged Fudge and woke her up in her search to find comfort. And the bathroom trips…for a split moment she’d actually considered just setting up a sleeping space in the bathroom and sleeping in there. It would mean less steps and easy access. Tyson shut the idea down when he said she could barely get herself up off of the couch, so maybe sleeping on the bathroom floor wasn’t the best idea.

Today felt more like yesterday, though her contractions felt a little stronger and more frequent. But not frequent enough for her to totally worry. Based on all of the books she’d read, by the time that she reaches active labor, she would be six centimeters dilated. Labor seems to progress slowly in first time pregnancies, so she knew that those four centimeters between six and ten would take longer for her body to go through. Maybe it was her way of trying to calm herself down at the mere thought of how by tomorrow she could be giving birth and they would be holding their daughter in their arms.

“Hmmm, okay so there’s seven ways to induce labor,” Tyson read, walking slowly beside her, his phone in his left hand while Fudge’s leash was in his right. “First is exercise–”

“Which I’ve been doing for the last three days, not to mention the days leading up to 40 weeks,” Clementine replied, putting her hands in her sweatshirt pockets.

“Second is sex,” he smiled, looking at her and wiggling his eyebrows up and down. “I like option two.”

“Yeah no, that’s not happening either. You’re not sticking anything up there– not for at least a few months. Plus I look and feel like a walrus, I’m hot enough for sex.”

“I think you were hot before and hot now,” he smiled, leaning in towards her. “So?”

“So no sex,” Clementine smiled, leaning over hte rest of the way and kissing him before waving him off. “Next option.”

“Nipple Stimu–”

“Nope.”

“Acupunct–”

“Hell no,” Clementine said, looking at him. “I don’t even like getting my flu shot, Tyson. Why would I voluntarily have an acupuncturist poke me with needles and lay there? What kind of list are you looking at?”

Tyson turned his phone around, showing her the screen. “Healthline?” He sighed and brought the phone back towards him. “Well, your last three options are acupressure, drink castor oil and eating dates. All of which I know you’re not going to want to do, so I’ll keep looking.”

“At this rate, I think I’m going to have to be induced and I’m not looking forward to that at all,” she pouted, resting her hands on her lower back. “I’m more looking forward to my epidural than I am an induction and trust me, I’ve googled that needle and it’s scary.”

“You’ll be fine, Clem,” he laughed, standing closer to her and lightly bumping into her. “But, this site right here says that exercise and sex might actually be your best options. So…”

“Soooo,” she mimicked, leaning in towards him with a smile. “No. Sex is off the table, so exercise it is.” She leaned back and took a deep breath, exhaling. “Even though it’s done absolutely nothing.”

“Maybe walking isn’t doing anything, so when we get home why don’t you try bouncing on that medicine ball my mom got you?” Tyson asked, scrolling through his phone.

“I guess,” she sighed, leaning back to stretch her back. “I think I’m just tired of being pregnant and having this bowling ball of a baby physically in my body, you know? It’s painful.”

“I offered to buy you a top package at the spa as your push present,” he said, taking a quick glimpse at her. “It’s still on the table.”

She laughed, shaking her head. “Tyson, you already got me maternity pajamas for the hospital and after. Plus you got me a new kindle. Really, I don’t need anymore.”

Tyson just rolled his eyes and smiled. “You’re going to be pushing an almost eight and a half pound baby out of your body, Clem. So suck it up, I’m giving you all of the push presents I see fit.”

This time, Clementine rolled her eyes, ready to say something when she felt a small contraction start, bringing her to a stop. “Tys, stop for a second,” she said, breathing through the pain.

“Another one?” He asked, looking up at his phone to see her nod before nodding back down at his phone. “Clem, I’m looking at all of the ways that could be best to at least try and get your water to break naturally, and this article says the top one is nipple stimulation because of oxytocin or something.”

“I don’t–”

“I know you said you didn’t want to do it, but maybe it’s worth considering besides just exercise? I mean, I know we’ll both enjoy it and–”

“No, Tyson. I wasn’t going to say I don’t want to do it,” she looked up from the sidewalk where she now stood in a wet puddle, the inner thighs of her maternity workout leggings soaked from the unexpected action of her water breaking. “We don’t need to do it…my water just broke.”

“What?” He asked, snapping his head up from his phone and looking at her with wide eyes. “When?”

“Um…now, I guess? I just– I mean it just happened,” she said, looking back down at her feet. “Honestly I thought I was about to pee my pants but nope…water breaking.”

Tyson looked down, scrunching his face as he tugged on the lease. “Fudge no, no sniffing. Bad girl, get away from that,” he said, nudging Fudge away from the puddle as she moved in closer. And like all of a sudden it dawned on him what that meant, he looked back at Clementine in shock. “We need to go to the hospital.”

“We need to walk back first,” she said, turning around to make their way back down to the house.

“No, you stay here! I’ll take Fudge home, toss your bag in the car and then pick you up and–”

“I’m not going to the hospital in soaked pants Tyson,” Clemetine said, metaphorically putting her foot down as she kept walking straight ahead. “Besides, we’re not even half a block away, we’ll be fine. Now come on, you call everyone and I’ll call Dr. Warren and tell her what happened.”

It was organized, rushed chaos as they juggled phone calls, Clementine changing clothes and calling Dr. Warren while Tyson called their families to let them know that they were getting ready to head to the hospital and he’d update them once they got there. Kacey had rushed over from down the road to watch Fudge for them so they wouldn’t have to pack up her stuff to drop her off with anyone, and then they packed up Tyson’s car and made their way to the hospital. They were both nervous, but Clementine was trying her best to calm herself down and recall what she’s read in books and taught in classes and what she’s learned from her friends' experience, as well as Nana and Laura. Tyson on the other hand, was panicking and unable to hide it. This proved true when he was filling out the paperwork as they checked in and led them to their room and he had to ask the nurse for a new form because he’d accidentally written his own name on the line where hers was to go– seeing as she was the patient.

Needless to say, once Caroline was hooked up and checked on by nurses and everything was settling down, she told Tyson to sit down in the chair and take a breath. “I’m the one birthing a human here and you’re so pale you look like you’re about to be sick.”

He got better as the time went by…and at times, it felt like it went by extremely slow. Between the contractions and the nurses coming in and out of their room to check and see just where Clementine was at in her labor…which seemed to be progressing slowly. The time was spent rotating between walking around their room, which turned into walking down the halls to try and take her mind off of the pain from the contractions, which were getting stronger. And when it became too much for her to be able to walk around, she was back to staying in the room, close to the hospital bed to be monitored in case Dr. Warren came in and told them it was go time.

Every hour Tyson would update their families on how far along Clementine was and whether or not it was time for her to start pushing. And every hour from the moment they came into the hospital, he’d give them the same news– “slowly progressing, I’ll let you know when we get closer.” They found ways to pass the time of course, watching movies, playing UNO (even though Tyson would try and cheat like he always did when they were kids) and whenever she got the chance, Clementine would try and get a little bit of sleep to rest and prepare for when the time came that she’d need to start actively pushing.

On hour seven, making it 4pm that same afternoon, a nurse came into the room to do another check and then with a smile had told them the news they’d been waiting hours to hear– that she was fully dilated and  it was time to finally start pushing. Dr. Warren came into the room shortly after, as well as the rest of the labor and delivery team, assuring Tyson and Clementine that this was a time to be excited for and that the team was there to make it all go as smoothly as possible before they transferred them out of their booked room and into a labor and delivery room.

And that helped both of their nerves a little bit, but not much. Because in the end, this was something that they’d never experienced before and no amount of books, videos or friendly advice, could fully get rid of that anxiety they felt about how close they were to welcoming their daughter into their lives and into this world.

However, even after it was time to start pushing, things weren’t smooth sailing. Clementine felt supported with both the staff and of course Tyson by her side, Dr. Warren joining in the efforts in trying to coach her through the pushing, but pushing for a near two hours would wear anyone down, even someone who’d been through labor before– and for Clementine, it was starting to drain her more than anything. They changed breathing techniques, two nurses and Tyson helped move her both onto her side and even onto her hands and knees to switch positions to try and help before she asked to be put back down onto her back– but nothing was working.

“I can’t,” Clementine whined, resting her head down against the pillow and shaking her head. “Why isn’t she coming out? Is something wrong?”

“No, Clementine, everything’s fine,” Dr. Warren said, looking over the gown. “Sometimes this stage can take up to three hours, even for those who’ve had a baby or two. It’s just the progression.”

“But she’s okay, right?” Tyson asked, his right hand brushing the hair back off of Clementine’s forehead. “They’re both okay?”

“Yes, they’re both okay, both of their vitals are very good right now. And as long as they keep trending that way, we’ll go ahead and stick with your original plan of a vaginal birth.” Dr. Warren looked between the both of them, nodding slightly. “However, if we surpass the 18 hour mark and you’re still pushing, we might have to consider doing a c-section.”

Clementine squeezed Tyson’s hand she’d been holding and looked at him with wide eyes, starting to feel herself panic as she looked back at Dr. Warren and shook her head. “I didn’t research that, we didn’t– that’s not–”

“Clementine, I need you to try and calm your breathing, okay?” Dr. Warren said, looking at Tyson. “We’ve still got a long way to go before we hit the 18 hour mark, but I’m just informing you that it’s a possibility down the line, okay?”

Tyson reached over and adjusted the oxygen mask that Clementine had tugged down her chin, putting it back over her nose and mouth. “You need to keep that on and just breathe with me, okay?” He said, taking deep slow breaths and maintaining his eye contact. “Good, that’s good. Everything’s gong to be fine, Clem, I promise.” He had a smile on his face, but Clementine could see the worry in his eyes.

She tried to keep a countdown in her head as the time went by and she kept pushing whenever she was instructed to– but there was still that sliver of a doubt in her mind that their original birth plan was gong to be thrown out of the window for the new plan of a c-section. Which Tyson, bless his heart, tried to alleivate the stress by saying, “well, now we know that she’s already got your stubbornness.”

It was at least another hour of pushing and contractions of getting nowhere, before they started to near the end of hour eight, when something just felt different. Her contractions felt stronger and more frequent, and after every push, when Tyson would say words of support or brush her hair out of her face as she tried to focus on her breathing, she felt lighter.

“Clementine, I think we’re getting somewhere now,” Dr. Warren said, looking up from the sheet and nodding. “Go ahead and give me another push and we might just be able to see your baby’s head.”

Clementine nodded and tried to put to action what all of her lamaze classes had taught her. To focus her weight down, tuck her chin into her chest and take a deep breath as she pushed. “Ouch, shit,” Tyson said, quickly covering up his painful complaint with a cough. “Sorry, you’re doing great, just uh…keep squeezing my hand, mhhm.”

“You’re doing great, Clementine,” Nurse Taylor, who was holding onto Clementine’s right leg said, gently patting her knee. “Just keep pushing, you’ve got five seconds left.”

Those five seconds felt like a lifetime and when she heard Tyson countdown to zero, she let her body rest against her hospital bed, releasing her tight grip on his hand. “Sorry,” she frowned, looking at him as he took his hand back and quickly rubbed it.

“No, you’re fine, I promise,” he said, stretching his fingers before reaching back down and holding her hand, bringing it up to his mouth and kissing the back of it. “You could break it for all I care, as long as it helps you.”

“Okay Clementine, I can see the top of her head!” Dr. Warren said, sounding excited as she looked at Clementine with a smile. “If you can give me one big push, we just might be able to get her head out and then you’ll be holding your baby girl. Are you ready to do this?”

Clementine nodded, sitting herself up just slightly. “Hell yeah.”

Tyson laughed and leaned down, kissing the top of her head as he squeezed her hand. “That’s my girl, now come on Clem, you’ve got this.”

“Go ahead and push now,” Dr. Warren said, nodding her head before keeping her attention below the sheet line.

Maybe it was the fact that Dr. Warren had said she could only have to push two more times, but the countdown in this push felt like a lifetime as Clementine tried to put her very best effort into getting their daughter out of her body. Her left hand was squeezing Tysons and her right hand was gripping onto the sheets on her hospital bed as she shut her eyes, trying to gain control of her breathing.

“Almost there, Clementine, her head’s almost out!”

Tyson took the opportunity to lean down towards the end of the sheet, finding himself curious as to what was happening down there– even though he’d been advised by most of his friends and even online forums that there was a possibility that the sight would make him a little queasy and possibly need a chair. Curiosity killed the cat and he couldn’t help but let his eyes go wide as he saw exactly what Dr. Warren was just about to announce.

“Holy shit, Clem her head’s out!” He said, trying not to grimace in pain at the scene. “You should see this.”

“Kind of feeling it instead, Tyson,” Clementine huffed, squeezing his hand tighter, taking another deep breath and pushing at the guidance of nurse Taylor.

His jaw dropped as he saw their daughter basically slip into Dr. Warren’s hands and he realized that all of the forums were right– he definitely might need a chair, because he just saw their daughter be born into the world and just the plain idea of that was a doozy. “She’s here,” he spoke softly, looking back at Clementine with a beaming smile. “You did it, look at her!”

In an instant, all of the nurses went into action, one placing Bailey on Clementine’s chest as others helped Dr. Warren with whatever was happening beneath the blanket, not that Tyson wanted to ask or knew what it was. He returned back to Clementine’s side, letting go of her leg as he brushed back the hair out of her face once more and bent down, kissing her.

He never thought that the sound of a baby’s cry could bring him to tears, but the moment after the nurses started to suction fluid from her mouth and in turn it caused Bailey to cry– hearing the gurgling, high pitched and breathy cry…he had tears in his eyes.

“Dad, would you like to cut the cord?” Dr. Warren asked, taking his attention away from Clementine.

He nodded, letting go of Clem’s hand for the few seconds that it took for them to place a pair of funky looking scissors into his hand and show him where to cut the clamped cord. And once it was done, he was right there back at Clem’s side, looking at the two girls in his life that were amongst the top few that meant the most of him.

They were his girls, the two he knew he’d love the most for the rest of their lives.

There was so much going on around her, yet all Clementine could focus on what the newborn lying on her chest. The nurses were working around her hospital gown so Bailey could be placed more on her chest, while simulatenously trying their best to warm her up. Tyson had placed a hand on top of the hospital blanket the nurses draped over their newborn and he was kissing Clementine’s head and brushing her hair back as they both looked at their beautiful daughter, who had only cried once– the moment she was born– and had otherwise since been peacefully laying against Clementine’s chest.

It was when Tyson stood up from leaning over Clementine that she felt like maybe something was off. She blinked and blinked, wondering if maybe her eyes were just dry, but when she looked up to try and tell Tyson– her head felt heavy to move.

“Tyson,” she said, barely brushing the oxygen mask up off of her face and over her forehead as she kept her left hand on top of Bailey as well. “Tyson, take her.”

“What?” He asked, looking down at her with furrowed brows, too caught up in the excitement to have heard her the first time.

“Take,” Clementine nodded her head down towards Bailey as she tried to brush the oxygen mask back down her face, feeling her heart begin to race. “Take her.”

Alarms filled the room as a nurse brushed by Tyson and gently nudged him away from the side of her hospital bed, her co-worker on the other side of Clementine, making moves that she couldn’t focus on, but knew were happening since she felt someone slide the oxygen mask over her nose and mouth. “Keep breathing, Clementine, take deep breaths, okay?”

“What’s going on?” She heard Tyson ask, the fear in his voice evident. ““What’s happening? What’s wrong with her?”

“Tyson, her pressure’s dropping, but we’re doing everything we can right now,” Dr. Warren spoke matter of factly. “And I need you to follow nurse Nora here over towards the heating lamp and stay with your daughter while we take care of Clementine, okay?”

“Please, just– she’s going to be okay, right? She has to be okay,” Tyson paused, exhaling heavily. “Please…”

“We’ll do everything we can, sir. Now just follow me,” a nurse said, which must have been nurse Nora because while she was still fighting to keep her eyes open, Clementine a nurse carefully wrap the blanket over a now crying Bailey before lifting her off of her chest and walking away.

The sound of their daughters cry and the blurred vision of the yellow hospital blanket being the last thing Clementine saw before everything went dark.

She heard her breathing and Tyson talking before anything else. Her vision was still dark and as her hearing started to focus and she felt herself start to wake up, she realized that her eyes were closed. It took multiple blinks before she could even get her eyes to open just barely, her eyelids still felt a little heavy with each blink. But eventually, she was able to get them open and her vision to clear up to see that she was in her hospital room– the recovery room that they’d been in before she got wheeled off into labor and delivery.

And once the confusion started to pass, the panic set in. Why was she back in here? Where was Bailey? What happened? Did something go wrong? She moved her arms by her side and tried to push herself up in the hospital bed, immediately feeling her entire bottom half ache.

“Hold on mom, let me call you back, I think she’s waking up,” Tyson said, rushing over to her right bedside. “Hey, don’t try to move too much, what do you need?”

“Water,” she replied, clearing her throat and stopping her attempt at sitting herself up.

Tyson nodded and grabbed the cup and pitcher of water that was by her bedside, pouring her a cup of water before handing it to her. “Don’t drink too fast, you’ll make yourself sick.”

She rubbed her eyes as she slowly took a sip of her water, trying her best to keep blinking to keep her eyes from continuing to get dry. She looked up at Tyson as she brought her cup back down from her mouth, seeing the worried expression on his face. “Tys, what happened?”

“What do you remember?” He asked, reaching out and tucking some of her hair behind her ear.

“Um…” Clementine squinted her eyes, trying to figure out what she remembered last before sighing and shaking her head. “I remember feeling a little lightheaded, hearing you and then seeing a nurse take Bailey and then everything went dark.”

At the mere mention of their daughter, it was like she was jolted awake and she sat up quickly, looking around the room. “Bailey, where’s bailey?” She asked, looking at Tyson with worried eyes. “Is she okay? Was something wrong?”

“She’s okay, perfect even,” Tyson smiled softly, nodding his head before turning around and walking over towards the wall that was next to the couch beneath the window. He bent down just partially before standing back up and turning around, walking over to Clementine holding a bundled up yellow blanket. “Though I do have some bad news…”

“Wha–”

“My mom was right,” he carefully placed the sleeping newborn into Clementine’s arms and carefully pulled off the small pink hat that was on her head. “She’s got mine and Kacey’s blonde hair.”

Clementine reached out and softly hit his arm, never taking her eyes off of their daughter. “That wasn’t funny, I thought something was wrong with her.”

“You’re right, that was horribly timed,” he sighed, rolling a wheeled stool over to the side of the bed and sitting down, leaning against the hospital bed. “But don’t worry Clem, she’s perfect. I mean, I didn’t want to put her in her outfit yet, because I wanted you to see it, you know, so maybe her outfit isn’t perfect yet and I’m sure she’s cold…but otherwise Clem, she’s just perfect. All 8 pounds and 19 inches of her.”

She looked back down at Bailey and brushed her right thumb against Bailey’s plump cheeks, feeling the warmth of her skin against her own. She had quite a bit of hair, and of course, just like Laura had said it probably would be– it was blonde, though Clementine could see some twinges of brown in there. She had the same long, dark and thick eyelashes that Clementine and Tyson both had. Her eyes were closed, but it looked like she might have Tyson’s eye shape and lips, and it turns out he was right all those months ago– she did have Clementine’s nose. But Clementine was right too, because she had the same plump and pink cheeks that both Tyson and Kacey had when they were kids.

“Low blood sugar,” Tyson spoke, holding onto the pink hat in his fist. “You had low blood sugar, which dropped your pressure and then with the blood loss…it all just added up and you passed out. Scared the shit out of me too,” he had a hand on Clementine’s arm, softly brushing his thumb against it. “Everything went from sort of relaxed to everyone was suddenly rushing around the room and I just thought…”

Clementine could see his eyes were starting to water as he looked down at Bailey and she carefully move the arm he’d been resting his hand on top of and lifted it up, cupping the side of his face and brushing her thumb against his beard, trying to get his attention. “Tys I’m okay,” she whispered, carefully turning his chin towards her. “I’m okay, she’s okay…you can’t get rid of me that easily. Someone’s got to make sure Bailey here knows how to take care of her curls.”

Tyson laughed, rolling his eyes. “You don’t know she’ll have my curls.”

Her face deadpanned and she nodded down at the sleeping baby. “She’s basically your clone, Tys. Aside from my nose, she’s your twin. I spent nine months growing her and haven’t been able to see my toes the last three months, for her to look just like you.” She joked, smiling soon after. “Trust me, she’ll have your curls.”

He laughed again, looking down at Bailey before looking back at Clementine with the same worried look. “No more scaring me like that, got it?”

“Got it,” she nodded, moving her hand down the side of his neck and softly scratching his skin before moving it to the nape of his neck, running her fingers through his soft curls. “Now kiss me, please.”

“More than happy to,” he smiled, leaning in and closing the space between them with a kiss as he brought his hand that was holding Bailey’s little pink hat, up to her face and cradling the side of it. “You did so good, Clem,” he whispered, pulling back from their kiss just barely. “You’re a rockstar.”

“Mmm, I had the best support with me,” she smiled, kissing him again.

The sound of the tiniest gurgle pulled them both away from each other and brought their attention down to the previously sleeping baby wrapped in her yellow blanket. Bailey was squirming just slightly and pursing her lips, mouthing at something that wasn’t there as her eyes started to blink slowly before eventually she was opening them.

“Oh she’s so your twin, Tys. She’s got your eye shape,” Clementine laughed, reaching down and brushing her hand over Bailey’s soft blonde hair. “Hi Bailey, I’m your mommy.”

“I think she might be hungry,” Tyson said, sitting up and pressing the nurse call button. “They said that when she makes those cute faces, she’s either hungry or pooping.”

“Has she eaten yet?” Clementine asked, frowning slightly. “Did I miss it?”

“Mhhm, she hasn’t really shown any signs of being hungry,” he said, coming back next to her. “You’ve only been out for 20 minutes, Clem. So I called and updated everyone and Bails and I got some daddy daughter time while we waited for mommy to wake up, didn’t we Bails?” He cooed, bending down and kissing the newborn's head.

“Clementine, I’m glad to see you awake!” Dr. Warren said, walking into the room with an unfamiliar face behind her. “How are you feeling?”

“A little tired, and I have a slight headache,” Clementine said, lightly rocking Bailey in her arms. “But other than that I feel good.”

“That’s good, I’m very glad to hear,” Dr. Warren smiled, walking around and over to the machine that was taking her vitals. “I’m sure Tyson here told you, but you did lose consciousness shortly after birth. We’ve run some tests and ruled out anything that was serious, so I don’t want you to worry. Your blood sugar was low, which dropped your blood pressure and that combined with the blood loss in the delivery, you to lose consciousness. We did deliver the placenta and we’re going to have you stay here for an additional two days, just so we can keep an eye on you to make sure that the fainting was a one time thing.”

“Thank you so much, Dr. Warren,” Clementine said, looking up from Bailey and at her. “Really, thank you for helping deliver her and taking care of me.”

“It’s what I come to work for,” Dr. Warren smiled, nodding her head. “Now, I do recommend that you get something to eat! You guys can order in, have someone drop it off for you or you can check out the cafeteria downstairs, but I want you to eat something filling to get that blood sugar back up.”

“Yes ma’am, my mom is dropping off some food soon. She should be here in ten minutes,” Tyson nodded, taking his phone out of his pocket.

“I’ll be around sometime later just to check on you again to see if there’s any complications, just routine so don’t worry. But for right now,” Dr. Warren motioned towards the woman who’d come into the room with her. “This is Dr. Kara, she’s a lactation specialist and will be giving you some pointers on breastfeeding if that’s something you’re interested in.”

“Thank you again, Dr. Warren,” Clementine nodded as Dr. Warren walked out of the room and Dr. Kara came up to the left of her bed. “Hi Dr. Kara, thanks for helping me.”

“Of course and congratulations on your new addition,” she smiled, placing down a small stack of pamphlets on Clementine’s bedside table. “Now I understand you had a little bit of a bump there after delivery, so I can always come back if you’re not feeling up to it. If you are, I’m more than willing to help you walk through the process of breastfeeding. If you’re not, I can always come back and I brought some pamphlets for you to read and gain some insight on the process.”

“I’m feeling okay,” Clementine nodded, holding Bailey close to her. “I think I’m up to learn right now, if that’s okay.”

“That’s great,” Dr. Kara smiled. “Now let’s go ahead and try to get this little cutie fed.”

Their first night as a family of three went by pretty great. Aside from the frequent nurse visits throughout the night to check on both Clementine and Bailey, their night was filled with tons of cuddles, diaper changes and feedings. When Clementne was fast asleep, Tyson took that time to hold and cuddle with Bailey, and soaking up all the time that he could before their families came to visit tomorrow- where he knew that they would give their grandparents as much time to hold the first great-grandchild, that they wanted. They’d both taken some pictures, but hadn’t sent them off or posted any, wanting their families to see Bailey in person first, versus in a picture.

The next morning, they tried to figure out what their schedules would look like every morning when trying to maintain a routine for themselves and Bailey included. A nurse had helped Clementine shower and get changed while Tyson carefully changed Bailey’s dirty diaper and then put her into a sunflower newborn footie pajama set that came complete with a little knit bow headband as well. It was an outfit that Kacey had bought and one that Bailey hadn’t exploded a diaper in yet– seeing as the one time Tyson didn’t double check to make sure the diaper was on tight enough, was the one time that Bailey had blown it out.

It was most definitely a learning experience for them both, one that every diaper change since, had them double checking to make sure it was on good enough before they’d dress her up again.

Now showered and dressed, they just waited in their recovery room for a text from their families that they’d arrived at the hospital. Clementine was dressed in the pajama set and robe Tyson had gifted her as one of her push presents. And despite her telling him he didn’t have to, while they waited, Tyson had announced that he’d gotten her two more push presents– one was a 14k white gold ring that had Bailey Frances engraved on it, a ring that he’d have to take in to get her birth date engraved on the inside. The other was a newborn and family photoshoot next week once they got settled in.

When he got a text from his mom that they were there, Tyson quickly kissed both Bailey and Clem goodbye, telling her that he’d be right back before he left the room to go pick them up from reception and leaving Clementine alone with Bailey for the first time.

She felt herself start to grow nervous, but not at the fact that she was now a mom or that she had a daughter– but a nervous sort of excitement that she was getting ready to introduce their tiny budle of joy to the people that loved them most. The ones that raised them and saw their friendship and relationship blossom from the very beginning. Most importantly, she was going to introduce their daughter to Nana and Papa– the two people who took her in at one of her most vulnerable and defensless moments, who loved her and raised her like she was their own daughter and who turned her into the woman she was today…and the kind of parent she hoped to be.

She heard the door to their room open and seconds later, the privacy curtain that closed around the door was pulled open, revealing Tyson and the rest of their anxiously waiting family. “Hi guys,” Clementine smiled as Tyson ushered them all into the room.

“How are you feeling?” Laura asked, walking over to the right side of her bed and giving her a side hug.

“Better, definitely much better,” Clementine nodded, accepting the hugs from her grandparents as well as Tyson’s and Kacey. “The staff has been looking after us pretty good, plus Tyson’s been like my own personal nurse too.”

“And food order boy,” Tyson laughed, standing at the end of the hospital bed. “We should be uber eats number one customers now.”

The smallest sound filled the short silence after Tyson was done speaking, bringing attention to the newborn lying in Clementine’s arms. Clementine smiled, adjusting the small headband that was on her head and looked at their families. “Everyone, this is Bailey,” she tilted her arms just slightly so everyone could get a view of the barely awake newborn. “Bailey, this is your family.”

“Oh my God, she looks just like Tyson,” Kacey said, coming around the side of the bed and leaning slightly. “Not the nose though, she’s definitely got your nose.”

“So?” Clementine smiled, looking at them all. “Who wants to hold her first?”

“Frances and Howard, why don’t you two go first,” Laura said, motioning towards them.

Tyson walked over to the side, bending down and carefully picking up Bailey so her Nana and Papa didn’t have to bend down to pick her up. “Alright, Bails, this is your Nana Frances and Papa Howard,” he spoke softly, turning around to face them and carefully handed Bailey off to Nana before sitting down just at the end of Clementine’s hospital bed with a smile.

“Oh she’s so cute,” Nana smiled, holding the bundled up newborn against her as Papa stood close to her, resting his hand towards the bottom of her blanket. “Well hi there, Bailey. I’m your Nana and this is your Papa and we are so excited to finally meet you.”

“And we love you very, very much,” Papa chimed in, nodding down at the newborn before clearing his throat and nonchalantly wiping at his right eye to try and wipe away the forming tears. He looked down at Clementine, who was herself quickly on her way to crying and bent down, kissing the top of her head and wrapping his arms around her as best as he could, giving her a hug. “You did a damn good job, Clem and we love you so much.”

“I love you too, Papa,” Clementine sniffled, burying her face into his shoulder as she tried to keep herself from breaking down into tears. “Thank you both for everything.”

He pulled back, kissing the top of her head once more as he smiled, staying close to her and speaking softly. “And we’d do it again without a single hesitation. You are the greatest thing to ever happen to us.”

Once he stood up, Nana handed Bailey off onto Papa where he got to hold her and talk to her for a few moments. And the pattern stayed the same. Papa passed her off onto Tyson’s grandma, then his grandpa, then Laura and then finally Kacey– who was the last one to get to hold her before she made her way back into Tyson’s arms.

There was so much love in the room, that it was hard to keep her tears from falling every other minute. It was all that Clementine had hoped for, a loving environment for their daughter from the very beginning– something stable and filled with people who only wanted the best for Bailey. And sitting in that room, taking pictures and having the walls filled with laughter and love, it was already that and so much more.

Bailey Frances Jost was possibly the most loved person in the room, but she was forsure…by far, the luckiest.

New Addition

Clementine never really understood the whole “time is a thief” saying. That’s what she read in all of the books, the forums, or hearsay from her friends and family– “time flies by, it’s a thief and you’re going to never know it’s happening until one day you do.” It just never really made sense to her, because for all purposes, time just seemed to be moving by very slow– dragging on if you will.

Until Bailey rolled over for the first time.

Suddenly, Bailey wasn’t the tiny 8 pound baby they brought home from the hospital, but was instead now a little over 12 pounds, her dark blue eyes were now starting to darken into what would most likely be the same shade of brown as Tysons and her hair was going on the same path Tyson’s had gone when he was a baby– staying blonde and straight.

She was starting to raise her head and chest during tummy time whenever she heard Tyson or Clementine talk, and if someone were playing with her and holding a toy she had any interest in (which most of those were Fudge’s toys), she would make grabby hands towards them. Tyson’s favorite thing to do was helping her stand up and getting her to bonce on her feet, often earning a giggle from her. She loved bath time, babbled the most whenever Fudge was around and absolutely loved it whenever anyone tickled her feet or her belly.

Going on four months with Bailey in their lives and having been back in Minnesota for almost two months, life by no means was easy. The season had officially started two weeks earlier, just five days after Bailey turned four months old. While they didn’t have their immediate family down in the states to help around the house, they did have their hockey family– all of them more than willing to help Clementine and Tyson adjust to life with a baby during the hockey season. It was a big group that was more like family that the two of them were extremely grateful for. Especially since Clementine was set to return back to work at the end of the month– her sub replacement making sure to add her into emails of what was going on at the school and keeping her in the loop of the students who would come to her office.

But until then, Clementine still had two more weeks left of staying at home with Bailey and Tyson to soak up all of the time she had left before she was set to go back to work, and Bailey would go to the rink with Tyson on days when he was home and if he was on a road trip, Clementine would drop her off with Danielle, who was more than willing to help them out until Bailey was old enough and Clementine and Tyson both were comfortable enough to drop her off at the childcare program at the school, where some of the other teachers had their kids enrolled.

“Tyson, her hat,” Clementine sighed, holding out the small beanie hat that had fallen onto the ground. “I don’t want her ears getting cold.”

“Oops, got it,” Tyson said, stopping just at the brink of the ice and stepping off to the side in the bench area, grabbing the hat. “We don’t need Bails to get cold red ears, do we Bails?” He cooed, entertaining Bailey as he put the small hat onto her head.

“There, now she’s all bundled up,” Clementine smiled, squeezing Bailey’s shoe covered foot as she leaned in and kissed her plump cheek. “And ready for her first ever skate with daddy, aren’t you?”

Bailey smiled and kicked her feet as she was snuggled up in the baby carrier wrap that Clementine was currently wearing. “Ga ga ga ga,” she babbled, wiggling in the carrier.

“I’m telling you Clem, she’s going to say dada first, she’s this close,” Tyson said, stepping out onto the ice and standing off to the side, holding out his hand to help her onto the ice. “Bailey’s a daddy’s girl, aren’t you Bailey?” He smiled, tickling the side of the carrier and getting her to smile.

“Maybe she’ll say mama,” Clementine teased, holding onto Tyson’s hand as she rested another hand on the back of Bailey’s carrier, keeping her close. “Ga ga can end up turning to mama, you never know.”

The two slowly skated around the rink as his teammates and their friends skated around them with their children and significant others. The first family skate of the season had Tyson exploding with excitement. Eagerly counting down the days until this moment, Tyson was eager to get to the arena today– Bailey all bundled up in some little leggings and a Minnesota Wild longsleeved dress that Clementine had foud on Etsy and bought for her, and a small white beanie to keep her head warm– that he struggled to even get her carseat out of the car.

“I’d always wanted to participate in one of these and yeah, you and I got to do one…” Tyson said, looking around the rink before looking at her and Bailey. “But it’s a little more special now that we’ve got Bails to share it with.”

“And then when she gets a little older, you’ll be able to help her skate around too,” Clementine smiled, nodding off at Jon Merrill’s youngest daughter, who up ahead was using one of the skating aids, along with Jon skating beside her. “And maybe by then, I’ll be sitting in the bench area with another little one and we’ll be cheering on Bailey and daddy.”

Tyson looked at her, a slightly hungry look in his eyes as he smiled. “Are you saying you want to start trying for baby number two?”

“Right now? Absolutely not,” Clementine snorted, shaking her head. “I want to soak up at least a year and a half, maybe two years of just Bailey time before we try for another baby.”

“Kacey and I are two years apart, well…just under two years, more like 23 months,” he said, letting go of her hand and wrapping her arm around his waist. “And you see how close Kacey and I are. Imagine Bails getting a best friend of her own.”

“I think it would drive Fudge absolutely crazy,” Clementine laughed, holding onto one of Bailey’s hands that had come out of the side of her carrier. “Bailey already wants to steal all of her toys, imagine if she had two babies trying to steal her toys!”

“Simple, we just buy Fudge more toys,” he shrugged, a playful smile on his face.

“Tyson–”

“I’m kidding Clem, I know what you’re saying,” he said, reaching over and adjusting Bailey’s hat. “And I agree, I’d like to get as much time with it being just Bailey for a while before we have another baby. Then we’ll think and talk about giving this little cutie a baby brother or sister, won’t be Bails? Would you want a sibling to boss around?”

Bailey was leaning her head back slightly against her carrier, smiling and poking her tongue out as she look at Tyson. “Ba!”

“Then it’s settled,” he nodded, leaning in and kissing her cheek. “We’re going to soak up all of the Bailey cuddles and kisses we can until then.”

Bailey just wiggled in her carrier, babbling as Clementine and Tyson doted all of the attention on her. And it was when Clementine needed to go to the bathroom that they stepped off of the ice and she transferred the carrier to Tyson, who by now was an expert at wearing it, considering there were days Clementine would come home to Tyson doing chores around the house wearing it with Bailey in it…or catch him on the tailend of a walk with Fudge, also wearing it.

“Say bye, Mama,” Tyson smiled, holding onto Bailey’s hand and waving it towards Clementine. “Daddy and I are going to go skate laps around the rink!”

“Bye sweetie,” Clementine laughed, waving at Bailey. “And Tyson–”

“I know, no racing or doing anything reckless,” he patted the carrier with a big smile. “Baby on board.”

Clementine nodded as Tyson skated away from the bench area, now fully wearing the baby carrier with Bailey inside of it. While she still needed to go to the bathroom, she waited right there in the bench area to watch Bailey and Tyson skate half a lap. She could see them clear across the ice, Tyson playing with her in the carrier and talking to her as he passed by some teammates, not hesitating to show off the cute four month old or stopping to let them talk and play with her. She couldn’t help but smile as she kept watching before Tyson and Bailey made their way back towards her, where Tyson had slowed down and started to wave towards her again before pointing in her direction for Bailey to look. And when Bailey did, though she was probably more focused on Tyson, she smiled and giggled as Tyson kept waving and saying “say hi to mama!”

The feeling that she had in her chest– the strong, overwhelming, warm feeling of love and happiness that she felt from watching the two of them together– watching Tyson go from a silly boy to a determined teenager, to a loving man and into a supportive, loving and doting husband a father, and watching Bailey experience the love of their family and friends, knowing she’d never have to worry about experiencing what Clementine did as a toddler…it was almost too much, but in a good way.

She would never get over watching their friends try to make Bailey giggle, or watch Bailey play with Fudge’s toys. How Fudge would sleep at the end of the bed still, but her face would now be facing the way that Bailey’s bedside bassinet was on. Watching Kacey try to entice Bailey into walking or making her giggle by teasing Tyson. Listening to Laura talk about how much Bailey reminded her of Tyson as a baby and giving Clementine advice on what to do in the case she turned out exactly like Tyson. Seeing his grandparents play peek-a-boo or sing songs to her. And watching her own grandparents rock her in their arms and read to her just like they had done for Clementine as a child.

There would never be a single moment or a single day where Clementine saw herself ever growing tired of watching the amount of love for their daughter, play out in their day to day life. And it was a feeling that often reminded her of her a quote from her all time favorite book, ‘The Truth About Forever’ by Sarah Dessen. It was when Macy, the main character had just kissed Wes, an artistic boy who had lost his mother to cancer and had rebelled after the fact, sending him to a reform school. The two had grown close and after back and forth and building friendship and feelings the whole book, in the end, it’s Wes, not her boyfriend, who she chooses to be with in the end. He had asked her a single question– what she would do if she could do anything in the world, and her reply was a simple kiss. But it was what followed that made this quote remind Clementine of that overwhelming feeling of love she felt.

“As for me, I was just trying to get it right, whatever that meant. But now I finally felt I was on my way. Everyone had a forever, but given a choice, this would be mine. The one that began in this moment, with Wes, in a kiss that took my breath away, then gave it back- leaving me astounded, amazed and most of all, alive.”

That’s how she felt looking at their little family, especially Bailey. She felt alive in the way that the infant would smile when she heard their voices or giggle at the lightest touch of her tummy. How she’d stick her tongue out as if she was trying to lick her lips. When she would fall asleep on their chests so effortlessly, and so willingly, because she knew she was safe with them. She’d been alive and living live all of this time, and every so often, something would happen that would remind her that she was so– getting into college, dating Tyson, getting accepted into an abroad for her masters, marrying Tyson, adopting Fudge, meeting her half-siblings…having Bailey.

Every moment between the time Adelisa had dropped her off onto Nana and Papa’s porch that cold August night and now, a comfortable October night in Minnesota where she was with her adoring husband and her beautiful and happy baby girl…all of it was a stepping stone, a part of her forever, a piece of her story that one day she would share with their children. A lesson that life had its ups and downs, but it was what you made of them that determined just how much of life you could make your own.

A reminder to be alive in both the big and small moments, because they all play a role in life.

A lesson to feel alive in what they do– to find the things and the people that they enjoy and love the most.

Sarah Dessen had said it best. Life could be long or short– but it was all in how you chose to live it. Because forever was always changing so it was important to make every second count. And that’s what she wanted for their children, for them to live their lives to the fullest, to laugh and cry and love to their fullest hearts desire.

Just like like the guidance counselor at her school had done for her, she was passing on the knowledge that she learned, that the circumstances they were dealt do not limit them to the endless possibilities that are out there for them to grab. And it was written on a sign on her wall just above her desk, big enough for everyone who walks through her office door to see almost immediately. A reminder of sorts.

“Life can be long or short, it all depends on how you choose to live it. It’s like forever, always changing. For any of us, forever could end in an hours, or a hundred years from now. You can never know for sure, so you’d better make every second count. What you have to decide is how you want your life to be. If your forever was ending tomorrow, is this how you’d want to have spend it.”

Her students had always asked her what her answer was to the question on her sign– “Mrs. Jost, what’s your answer?”

And Clementine’s answer was always the same. 

Yes.

Forever could end at any moment, and right now, she was content with how her’s had been. She was married to the love of her life and best friend, shared a beautiful daughter with the same man, she had a job that she loved, a beautiful home, a loving dog and was continuing to make changes in the lives of the students of the school that she worked at.

Her forever had started in late August 2003, when Nana and Papa had taken her in at just five-years-old, lonely, cold and starting to forget what the love of a mother had been. And in the 20 years since, she had experienced parental love, the love of her friends, family and the special love of a man who she knew would do anything for her. And there was more of forever that she had to go, had to live and experience, but all that mattered to her now was that she would take whatever forever had to give, just as long as she had Tyson, Bailey and Fudge by her side.

[buttercupjosh]

star-crossed

(Gif credit to @jtscompher)

Word Count: 9,193

Warnings: none

Genre: failed engagement, strangers to lovers to exes to ???, a little angsty

A/N: I’ve been quietly working on this for about a year (November 2021-November 2022, took a break in between because of school). As we all know, a lot has happened to Tyson within the year. However, due to the fact that I’ve been working on it for so long (and it would be a nightmare on my end to change the ending), Tyson isn’t traded to Minnesota in this story nor was he placed on waivers but the Avs do win the Cup with him on the team. The story is based off of the album, star-crossed by Kacey Musgraves. Instead of focusing on a failed marriage like how Kacey does on the album, my story focuses on a failed engagement. The first half of the story is the “Golden Hour” of the relationship (yes, after the album by Kacey Musgraves) and the second half of the story is the “star-crossed” portion of the relationship. If you squint a bit, it’s also based on elements from The Great War by Taylor Swift. I highly recommend either listening to or reading the lyrics to the album before reading the story, to get a better understanding of the plot of the story. I’m taking vibes, elements and references from these songs and putting them in the story. It’s a bit longer than my other works and it technically could of been published a 3 part series but I decided to keep it all together. It’s written with a female reader in mind because I’m a female of color and there is a part that mentions having kids but the reader doesn’t specifically have to be a POC and there’s no dialogue. Shoutout and thank you to @glitterandsummerdaze for reviewing and editing this story for me. I’m open to any and all feedback, comments or questions; just put them in my inbox or dm me. I worked really hard for a long time on this story y’all. Thank you so much in advance for reading, I appreciate it😌 (P.S. If you have the time, I would also really appreciate if you checked out my other pieces: know your heart (original) or know your heart (Brock Boeser edition), a summer in syracuse, Your Favorite Secret and The Upside of Unrequited. Thanks☺️).

Optional listening: The Great War by Taylor Swift

“Let me set the scene, two lovers ripped right at the seams” -star-crossed by Kacey Musgraves

They say that love comes in the most unexpected ways, and it came to you at a party that you didn’t want to be at. For context, you were not the party type and you were not drawn to the appeal of drinking alcohol but Charlotte insisted on having you there to celebrate her and Nathan’s latest accomplishment of buying a home together. She also suggested that this party would allow you to do something fun to celebrate finishing grad school and before your first big job tied you down in a few days. You really didn’t want to go because you didn’t know anyone else there besides Charlotte; this party was going to be your first time meeting Nathan and the rest of the team. Despite the objections, you still pulled up to their home in Cherry Creek, bringing a candle as a housewarming gift. The party was loud and packed; you were convinced that the entire Colorado Avalanche roster was here. It was the end of the season, the Avalanche had yet again been eliminated from the second round of playoffs. You noticed that Tyson Jost (whose name and face you learned through a Google search a few days ago) had been watching you and you were convinced that he was probably stalking you. You saw him several times throughout your time at the party but you never approached each other until later on. You had no idea what you could talk to any of the guys about and you weren’t exactly planning on flirting with any of Nathan’s teammates while you were there. This wasn’t your ideal crowd and hockey wasn’t your thing; sports wasn’t something that you were invested into unless it related to sport medicine and you didn’t know how to ice skate. Some of the guys tried to rope you into some drinking games but you don’t drink. You also made small talk with the other wives and girlfriends but the conversation was awkward because you really weren’t sure what your place was there. You weren’t involved with anyone on the team, just someone that Charlotte knew but most likely would never bring around them because you stood out more than you fit in with their circle. Throughout the night, you primarily kept to yourself and wandered around the new home. Whenever she wasn’t busy, Charlotte would pop in to check on you to make sure you were having a good time. You had really wanted to leave but you were there to support Charlotte and the free food was delicious.

During the cheers and congratulations portion of the night, you pulled out a mini bottle of Martinelli’s sparkling apple cider from your bag to acknowledge the celebration but upon opening, it bursted all over the nice laminate floor in the kitchen. Due to the fact that Tyson had actually been quietly observing you all night, he immediately got up and helped you clean up the mess. You thanked him for his assistance and mentioned to him that you had noticed he had been watching you. Tyson’s face began to turn red and he confessed to you that he couldn’t quite keep his eyes off of you because 1. he didn’t know you and it didn’t seem like anyone outside of Charlotte knew you, 2. saw that you kept to yourself, 3. saw that you mainly frequented the kitchen and 4. you were arguably the only other person than Cale (designated driver) that hadn’t been drinking that night. He also noted that you were one of the few girls at this party that either wasn’t an existing WAG or someone that Charlotte had not attempted to set up on a date with one of the guys on the roster. You laughed at the date set up comment because Charlotte had not attempted to set you up yet but you knew after this party, she would definitely try. 

After the sticky mess was cleaned up, you and Tyson quietly moved out of the kitchen and into the backyard to continue your conversation. Tyson asked about your relationship to the team because he assumed you were one of Charlotte’s friends. He was sort of right; you wouldn’t go as far to say that you and Charlotte were friends, more like newly minted mutuals with some trust established. You had met Charlotte at a Saturday SoulCycle class a few months back. One day after class, she complimented the non name brand leggings you wore and the two of you had unofficially become Saturday SoulCycle buddies. Charlotte even asked you for insight on the chemicals in the skincare products she used (you did a dermatology rotation during school) and over a very long lunch, you helped her out. In exchange for your help, she invited you to her housewarming party. You explained to him that you had recently graduated with a master’s degree and were going to begin a new job as a pediatric physician’s assistant this upcoming Monday. Tyson seemed genuinely interested in what you had to say and you ended up talking with him for hours. As the hours spilled more into the night and as much as you had enjoyed talking to each other, it was time to go. Tyson had to head out soon because he had errands to run the following morning before leaving to go home for the off-season and you were also getting tired. Before you left, you and Tyson exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch. Although you didn’t want to go to the housewarming party to begin with, you were glad that you went and met Tyson.

After that encounter at the party, the next few months with Tyson were a whirlwind. Tyson went back home for the summer, spending as much time as he could with the people he loves before the chaos of the season started back up in September. Although you hadn’t expected for Tyson to keep in contact with you, you talked to each other almost everyday during the off-season and developed a friendship. You learned so much about each other during that time. You thought it was nice how Tyson always took time out of his day to talk to you when he could have been talking to anyone else. Of course, there were other girls both in town and online who would try to grab his attention, but you were the only one he wanted to pay attention to. You brought a different light into his life, and as cliche as it sounds, you were so different from the other girls he was used to. You weren’t self centered and spoiled, but selfless and kind. Tyson really liked you a lot and he couldn’t wait to see you once he got back to Denver.

Your first official date with him took place over breakfast at one of the local Snooze Cafe locations in September, a little after training camp started. That chemistry that you and Tyson had over the phone translated into real life over pancakes and laughter. One of the most important things you took away from that breakfast date was that you noticed that whenever you spoke about a topic you were passionate about, Tyson gave you his full attention like you were the only person in the room. You thought his attentiveness was admirable. Tyson wasn’t going to admit it out loud but he sure did enjoy looking at you; not just because of how you looked on the outside but the beauty and intrigue of what you had inside of you and the things that flowed out of you. Sure, you weren’t a runway model who turned heads every time you walked into the room, but Tyson didn’t care. He thought that your character, ambition and drive was much more attractive.

That ambition and drive came at a price though; you never had a serious boyfriend before. Sure, you went on first dates but you also didn’t have time for games and nonsense when you could be focusing on your goals. Tyson was different though. He was humble and had a spirit to him that seemed like he wasn’t going to waste your time; he didn’t seem deceptive or controlling or like a total selfish douchebag. That first breakfast date with Tyson eventually turned into a dinner date and that turned into spending more time together, falling for each other with each minute that passed. All of that time together blossomed into a beautiful romantic relationship. There was no reason to rush but time itself would push your relationship to move at a fast pace. Before you knew it, you were posting about each other on social media, spending your evenings attending his games, becoming a little bit more comfortable with the WAGs, and even moving into an apartment with Tyson. Loving Tyson and being loved by Tyson was more than you could ever imagine; this boy had you wrapped around his heart and he would never let you go. Tyson was so thankful to have you as a part of his life and his heart swelled with love being with you.

You loved how Tyson was so patient with you. Your lack of relationship experience left you a little cautious and you wanted to take your time to do things your own way, he would be there and wait with you.

You didn’t have an issue with Tyson’s schedule and lifestyle. You could handle it because your job kept you busy while he was gone. Sure, there would be times that you would go to bed without seeing him because you had to be up early in the morning and his game would run late or he would be gone on road trips. When you had free time while Tyson was away, you would hang out with the other WAGs and keep each other company. Although you had plenty of things to keep your mind occupied off of his absence and Tyson was always away with the team at various points, this lifestyle left you both feeling lonely sometimes. To navigate this obstacle, you reminded each other you were always there, even if it was in a small way and you weren’t physically together. Tyson would sometimes surprise you by ordering you take-out so you didn’t have to cook after a long day of work, even if he forgot about time zone differences while he was away and the food was cold by the time you came home. He would try to FaceTime or call you when your schedules aligned and he looked forward to a text of encouragement from you as a part of his pregame ritual. If you woke up early before Tyson, you would write him little notes and leave them on the bathroom mirror for him and sometimes add them into his luggage if he was leaving for an away game.

Before dating Tyson, you had a web wrapped around your heart and he knew exactly how to untangle those strings. You gave him butterflies and he always lifted you up in any of your ambitions and endeavors. Some guys would be intimidated by your boldness but Tyson saw that as your strength shining through.

You had always known that the world was a beautiful place but Tyson and his love had added even more beauty to it. His smile and laugh was like the equivalent of the sun shining on your face. His touch felt like the cool ocean breeze, dancing on your skin. This love was almost like seeing the northern lights for the first time; it was more beautiful in person than it is through a screen. The connection that you had with Tyson was so deep to the point that it felt like you knew him in another life. There was no one else in this world you wanted to be with and Tyson felt the same way.

You loved how Tyson was good with family. Your parents met Tyson over Thanksgiving when they came from out of town to see you and you had also met his mom and sister, Kacey, the same way but over Christmas and New Year’s. Being separated by distance from your families was one of the things that bonded you and Tyson closer together. You tried to recreate recipes from his mom and Tyson tried to incorporate small traditions you had with your family in your lives together in Denver.

The love you and Tyson experienced together was a wild thing. It was moving at a fast pace but neither of you wanted it to slow down. The love you shared was something that couldn’t be found because it came to you naturally.

Of course, there were low, not so warm and perfect moments in your relationship. You and Tyson had established healthy boundaries; whenever you had a disagreement, you gave each other space until you were ready to come back together.

You loved how Tyson always knew how to comfort you. After a long stressful day of work or if you were just plain frustrated, he knew how to make you smile, even if you had tears in your eyes.

You had always wanted something classic when it came to love. You wanted to be swept off your feet by a great guy and that came in the form of a really sweet hockey guy named Tyson. You both knew it as soon as you felt it that this love you had felt like a love song that could go on until the end of time.

Things were starting to get even more exclusive in your relationship. At the premier season event known as the Avs annual Halloween party, you and Tyson dressed up as Wonder Woman and Superman. Although they were just costumes, it represented how strong your relationship was and how interconnected you were together.

Music was something that was important to Tyson. Tyson loved to sing you songs on his ukelele and he even attempted to write you a song. He wouldn’t be winning a Grammy anytime soon but you wanted him to be the singer of the soundtrack to your relationship. Tyson was also a bit of a dancer and one of his favorite things to do with you when he was home was host impromptu dance parties in the kitchen. Whether you were dancing to disco or something slow, it was always a good time whenever you got to have fun and bust out your moves together.

Tyson set your world on fire and was like the color of the sky during golden hour. You couldn’t exactly keep your eyes away from it, it was something you were amazed by. You both knew that everything was going to be alright as long as you were together.

Tyson was colorblind but it was like you added color into his life. He was like your umbrella on a rainy day, always there to make you feel safe from the storm.

The relationship you had could also be described as like a duet. Separately, you both shined in your own individual ways but coming together created a beautiful harmony. Like in any great duet, there needed to be a moment where your melodies blended together and that moment came in the form of a proposal. Tyson had gotten proposal advice from Gabe, went ring shopping with Sammy and told the WAGs to begin planning a bridal shower for you. After a full year of dating, Tyson proposed to you in his childhood home in St. Albert over the Christmas break and even flew out your parents to be there for that special moment. It was the first time that either of your families had met each other and it felt like your families were meant to be connected. You were so excited to become Tyson’s long term better half. He knew in his heart that he had found his ideal duet partner and you felt the same way. Everything was falling into place until the notes started to fall flat.

————————————————————

star-crossed

Not long after you had gotten engaged, a so-called fan made a comment on your engagement post about how your relationship with Tyson was rushed, criticized how he shouldn’t marry someone like you and that your intentions for the relationship weren’t right. Although this person was a stranger hiding behind a screen, their words were painful. You told Tyson about what you read and he reassured you that regardless of what was being said, everything was going to be okay. You had gotten through the criticism of your relationship before but this comment lingered in your mind. Your thoughts began to race. Maybe, this person could be right; you and Tyson were going to rip right at the seams and that what you had together was just simply a perfect dream. You had also wondered if your relationship with Tyson was flying just a bit too close to the sun since it all happened so quickly and you had only been together for a year. Were you and Tyson simply star crossed lovers who weren’t meant to be together long-term? Maybe it was the insecurity talking but you weren’t so sure.

good wife

You had constantly wondered if you would be a good wife for Tyson. You knew that Tyson would be a great husband to you but you couldn’t say the same for yourself. Yes, you checked all of the boxes for domestic tasks but you weren’t fully sure on the emotional side of marriage. You had prayed to God for help to become a good wife for him. As desperate as it sounds, you and Tyson needed each other not just for emotional and physical comfort but also for stability. Both of your careers were demanding and being able to come home to each other when Tyson wasn’t away in another part of the country silenced that demand. Things weren’t always perfect and you both fought sometimes; although he had never criticized your introvertness, Tyson would sometimes tell you to be more fun and to stop controlling everything. However, it was difficult to let go when you had some sort of control over everything in your life and you didn’t like to lose control. It was one of the main reasons why you didn’t drink or use illicit drugs. Your relationship wasn’t a co-dependent one; neither of you controlled the relationship and you would be fine without each other. Despite this, you had reached to a point to where you couldn’t imagine living in the apartment without Tyson. The two of you had made that space into a home and you were also terrified of being alone after being with someone you deeply loved.

cherry blossom

No one could question the chemistry that you and Tyson had together. You both knew that you probably couldn’t find that same connection in other people. As a sign of his commitment to you, Tyson took you to look at homes out in Cherry Creek. This neighborhood was where most of the team lived so ideally, it was where Tyson wanted to live and raise a family with you. You wanted to live in the Highland neighborhood, which had more historic homes. Although no down payments or offers would be put down anytime soon on the homes you saw, it was something nice to do together. After looking at the homes, Tyson took you to a cafe to discuss what you saw. You and Tyson bickered throughout the discussion. Neither of you wanted to come to a mutual agreement of which neighborhood to live in. Like cherry blossoms blooming, you both knew that you didn’t want this relationship to fade easily and blow away. Despite the disagreements, you could work it out because even in nature, timing is everything and you and Tyson just had to work through it. It was just a rough patch that you could get over and come out stronger on the other side or so you had thought.

simple times

As time moved forward, you wish you could go back to the simple times of your relationship before you had gotten engaged. Although Tyson was open to staying engaged for a while and waiting to have the wedding, the external forces of society were pushing onto you. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t avoid questions about the wedding. It’s a topic that came up constantly because you were engaged. There were also a lot of little things related to the wedding that kept building up onto each other and adding onto the stress. First it was finding the perfect location; you and Tyson couldn’t decide if you should get married locally in Denver, go back up to Canada, have a destination wedding somewhere warm or even go to your hometown to host the ceremony and whether it should be indoor or outdoor. For some reason, none of the dresses you tried on at the local bridal shops were quite the right one. Tyson even graciously offered to fly you out to New York to try on dresses at Kleinfeld Bridal but you declined. Tyson tried with what he could but he wasn’t much help either. Tyson was fine with whatever you wanted to do, even if that meant deciding to elope without any of his family there. He even tried to encourage you to take time off from wedding planning but you were so determined to get it done because it became a goal and you never gave up on your goals. The WAGs tried to help you with your planning but things just weren’t going right. You just wanted to skip this round of the relationship and go straight to the part where you were happily married.

if this was a movie

The first big fight came unexpectedly. At the last minute, Gabe and Mel asked if someone could babysit their kids while they went on a long needed date night at some fancy restaurant because their usual babysitter was unavailable and it had taken them months to get the reservations. Tyson volunteered to take on the role since he knew how well you worked with children. As much as you love kids, you didn’t want to babysit because you spend 40+ hours a week working with children. You had expressed to Tyson how you weren’t up to babysitting and he reasoned with you to take up the temporary role. It was only for a few hours and Gabe and Mel would be back that same night. You finally caved in.

It felt weird to be in their home; it was lovely and cozy, filled with nice decor and toys but being in that space made you think about how one day, you and Tyson would have something similar. After Linnea and Lucas were settled into bed, the topic of having children came up. It was something that you and Tyson had seldom discussed. You were both still young and fertile so there was no rush to have kids yet. Having kids fit more in a 5-10 year timeline for you while children fit into a much shorter timeline for Tyson. You wanted to wait until you felt like you were ready and established enough into your career to take a break and become a mother. Seeing the way he interacted with both the kids on the team and away from the team, it further cemented to you that Tyson would be a great father one day, maybe even better than his own father. Being on different pages caused some tension and things started to get heated. To alleviate the tension, you and Tyson had decided to table your conversation until you got home in order to not disturb the kids.

When Gabe and Mel arrived back home, they could sense that something was off between you but decided to not speculate or intervene. When you arrived at home, you continued where you left off and another heated topic came up. You and Tyson hadn’t been physically intimate with each other; you were saving yourself for marriage and he respected that about you. However, Tyson did get frustrated with how you would have hot and heavy makeout sessions and you would tease him but he wasn’t getting any action. Tyson loved you so much that he would rather wait for you than go off and get temporary satisfaction from someone else. You and Tyson had gone back and forth about both becoming parents and the physical process of creating a child and at the end of it, Tyson had decided to pack a bag and spend the night at a hotel after the argument was over. You wish that this was a movie, that he would run back home to you and say that the fight was stupid and everything would perfectly fall into place. Unfortunately, that wasn’t going to happen that night. You waited up for Tyson but he didn’t come back home that night and you fell asleep with tears in your eyes.

justified

You knew that Tyson was upset with some of the things you said while you argued but you would have never expected for him to leave you. When you had smaller fights before and needed space from each other, Tyson would sleep on the couch. He returned back home in the morning and over an “I’m sorry I did that” breakfast, an apology to each other for the previous night’s argument was exchanged. You both resolved to treat each other right and to do better. It was only one big fight over something that you could compromise on in the future and that didn’t mean the relationship was over.

You both ended up deciding to go to couples therapy to work through some of the problems that were affecting your relationship. At the therapy session, your therapist, Katie, helped to unpack some of the baggage in your relationship and she gave some exercises and suggestions on how to improve things. Tyson was open to speaking with the therapist and applying the changes into your relationship but he knew deep down that you also had to be open to these things as well in order for things to get better.

You could admit that some elements of toxicity began to seep into your relationship and at times, some very harsh and painful things were thrown around whenever you fought. Typically, you started off fighting and hating each other but loving each other in the end like nothing happened. For instance, on the car ride home from cake tasting, Tyson could sense your indecisiveness over choosing a cake flavor and it frustrated him because he just wanted you to know what you wanted so that you could move on to the next step of ordering the cake. He asked you what flavor you really wanted (he preferred the vanilla cake with the strawberry filling) and that led to you fighting about the wedding. You wanted Tyson to help more in regards to that special event but he was doing the best he could. You were both busy people and the season was still going on during this stressful time. The insecurity creeped in and you asked Tyson if he still wanted to go forward with marrying you; in his frustration, he unexpectedly dropped that he didn’t want you. You couldn’t believe the words that came out of his mouth but it hurt so much to hear him say that and you burst into tears. Tyson lied; he still wanted you but he was tired of the constant fighting and just wanted things to be okay. It was draining a lot out of him. He pulled the car over and apologized to you. Tyson promised to you that he will always choose you, regardless of what happens. You tried to justify it all but justification wasn’t the solution to the relationship problems but working through them and treating each other right was. Healing from all of this drama wouldn’t happen in a straight line. It would take some time and many steps forward and some steps back to get through this pain. In the end, you had only hoped that it all would be resolved.

angel

If you were an angel, your insecurities would fade away and the toxicity in the relationship would disappear. You did a lot of things your own way due to your lack of relationship experience but Tyson was understanding and patient with you. You could admit that some of your expectations and ideals of the relationship were a bit high and unrealistic but you also knew that it wasn’t always going to be sunshine and rainbows all the time. It would work itself out over time as long as you kept pushing through it together. If you were both perfect, you and Tyson would never hurt each other the way that you did with your words whenever you argued. You both tried to continue to love each other in spite of these difficulties and even tried to convinced yourself that neither of you would ever have to change because everything would be perfect but it would never be that way.

breadwinner

Despite going to therapy together and attempting to apply what the therapist told you into your relationship, the arguments still continued. However, one of them hit too close to home. After making a game winning goal and being named a star of the game, Tyson came home ecstatic to celebrate his win with his favorite girl but you were asleep. Tyson was still buzzing from the game so he texted JT to go out for a couple of drinks. He felt bad, coming home and leaving you but he also knew that he couldn’t fall asleep. It wasn’t the ideal way he wanted to celebrate that night’s accomplishments; he just wanted to spend time with you. You had been busy with a lot of work things (one of the doctor’s at your clinic suddenly left and you had to pick up their patient load until a new replacement came in) and you didn’t have as much time for Tyson as you did before. He understood that you had a lot going on but it annoyed him that you hadn’t tried to make time for him and were starting to go radio silent on him so that you could fully focus on work. Although you and Tyson hadn’t fully finalized any of the wedding plans and potentially considered pushing the wedding back by a year, you eventually stopped planning for the wedding due to the increasing demands of work.

You had woken up in the middle of the night and noticed that Tyson wasn’t home. You looked at the time and were about to call him when he came through the door. Tyson saw you come down the hallway to approach him but he brushed right past you. You were confused as to why he did that and followed him in the bathroom. Tyson asked you for some privacy but you wanted to know why he was ignoring you. Tyson was visibly annoyed and he closed the bathroom door in your face; he had never done that before. You knew something was up so you waited for him in the kitchen; it was where all of the serious conversations took place. After his shower, Tyson came into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and some pain meds before going to sleep. He saw you sitting at the table and again you confronted him about what was wrong. Tyson was tired and all he wanted to do was go to bed and reset. Maybe if he had gotten a good night's sleep after drinking, he would be in a better mood tomorrow. Even though you had work in the morning, you didn’t want to go back to sleep without knowing if he was okay. The insecurity creeped in and although you knew in your heart that he would never cheat, you asked Tyson if he had been out with another girl. You had no idea where he was and the game had been over for hours. Tyson angrily responded that he couldn’t believe that you would say something like that when you know that he loves you and you only and he was fully committed to marrying you. Tyson explained that he came home earlier, saw you were asleep and he went out for celebration drinks with JT. He mentioned that you didn’t even send him a congratulations text like you normally would after a win and made a snarky comment that you probably didn’t watch the game. He was partially right; you did watch part of the first period and ended up falling asleep on the couch before waking up to go to bed before the game ended.

Tyson really just wanted to be with you and he tried to be understanding but you put your job above it all. He truly was proud of you and all that you had achieved but Tyson hadn’t even completed college and yet, the girl of his dreams held a graduate degree that she could always fall back on. It didn’t intimidate him but it sure made him feel a little insecure. You and Tyson began to argue about how you weren’t there for him anymore and how busy you were. It was getting late, neither of you wanted to continue to fight; you had work in the morning and Tyson had to prepare for the upcoming East Coast road trip. You had fully expected Tyson to leave just as he did once before but he stayed and slept on the couch. Tyson promised himself that he would never hurt you by leaving you like that again.

camera roll

While Tyson was away on the East Coast, a memory popped up on your phone. It was a picture of you and Tyson, together after a hike at Red Rocks; that image was Tyson’s lock and Home Screen photo. You had hoped that he didn’t go through his camera roll; things were still on shaky ground after your argument about not having time for him anymore and you both decided to take a mini hiatus from each other while he was gone. You had both spent time contemplating on the future of your relationship. Tyson expressed his feelings to the guys on the team and the common piece of advice was for him to let you go. You had caused a lot of distress onto Tyson and the guys didn’t think it was healthy for him to be stuck in a relationship like that. The guys were pro-ultimatum; either you get your stuff together or break up for good and find other better people. Tyson told the guys that he was going to break up with you when he got back home. Tyson didn't really want to end things with you though; he really loved you a lot regardless of what his peers thought but he did wonder if they were right.

As he scrolled through his gallery, he stopped on a picture of the two of you, wearing matching pajamas from the Christmas you got engaged; that image was your lock and Home Screen photo. Another good memory that came up in Tyson’s phone was the photos and videos he took of when you went to family skate together. You didn’t know how to ice skate but luckily, you were engaged to a professional hockey player. Tyson took you out to the Avs practice facility and taught you the ropes of ice skating. It took a lot of bumps, bruises and practice but you were determined to get it down and you did; he was proud of you. He missed you so much and he would do everything in his power to make things right. Something that Tyson never revealed was that he knew that he fell really fast for you but he didn’t care because he had always wanted someone who was just as good as you were in his life and he wanted to experience that same deep love connection that his teammates’ had with their partners. He also felt pressured to lock you down because he knew that you were someone rare and you could have been with anyone else but yet, you were with him. You chose Tyson because you never had a serious boyfriend before and you fell really fast for him as well. The timing didn’t matter because you had each other and you both had waited so long for the right person to come along.

easier said

You and Tyson reconciled just before his birthday in March and celebrated that special day together. Even though you got back together, you and Tyson began to argue a lot more about the future due to the impending trade deadline. Constant rumors were being spread about Tyson being traded away so that the Avs could acquire another asset. It caused a lot of stress and pressure for the both of you; Tyson constantly worried if he had to move and you worried about what would happen if he was traded away. Thankfully, the Avs decided to move some draft picks and some AHL guys to acquire a new player to help them out for a potential cup run. A few days after the trade deadline, Tyson mentioned to you about the Avs annual Mile High Dreams Gala that was coming up at the beginning of April. He was excited to take his fiancée to this special event, however, you didn’t want to go. This caused you and Tyson to drift even further apart. Due to the fact that you and Tyson were recently fighting a lot more than usual, you were scared that something that you disagreed on would be brought up and you would end up arguing with him in front of his peers. You had also stepped out of your comfort zone several times at other team events and you knew how important the gala was but socializing for hours on end, not just at work, drained you. You had expressed your feelings about going to the gala with Tyson and he tried to reason with you to attend with him. He wanted to get dressed up really nice with his lover and show you off to others. No matter how hard he tried, you wouldn’t budge on your decision. Tyson was obligated to go but you were optional so while he was away playing in Arizona, you almost forgot to respond to the invitation and you secretly sent it back with only 1 person from your household attending.

On the day of the gala, you had decided to be the team babysitter that night and left home early to go watch the kids at Gabe and Mel’s home, instead of going out with your fiancé. You didn’t even see Tyson before he went out, which didn’t surprise him. You hadn’t been seeing each other much lately and he thought that maybe you changed your mind on going and that you were getting ready with one of the WAGs. At the event, some people had asked where you were and Tyson didn’t know the answer himself until Ashley, Nazem Kadri’s wife, name dropped that she was going to text you to check on their daughter. Tyson was furious with you; when he had asked you to babysit for Gabe and Mel a while back, you didn’t want to do it at first but gave into the idea and on the night of one of the biggest team events, you opted out and chose to babysit instead. Tyson also felt embarrassed that he was kept out of the loop about this and ended up leaving the gala early, claiming that he ate something that didn’t agree with his stomach.

Upon arriving home from your babysitting gig, you saw Tyson was sitting at the bar and he immediately confronted you on what you did. You noticed that he had already showered and changed out of his suit. You told him that you had previously expressed that you weren’t going to the gala with him and that he knew that you weren’t attending. Tyson mentioned that you didn’t tell him that you were watching the team’s kids that night and you kept telling Tyson to calm down and to move past it but he wouldn’t back down. Tyson was frustrated because you both knew that you didn’t have as much time for each other anymore and going to the gala would give you some time together. You lashed out at Tyson by telling him that your whole life doesn’t revolve around him and he called you selfish. You begged Tyson to take back his hurtful words but he wouldn’t; it was how he truly felt about you. He also made an uncalled for comment underneath his breath about your job and you weren’t having it. You were one of the few WAGs that had such an intense and challenging career. Most of the other girls were either relying on their partner’s income as stay at home moms, were in school, were models/influencers or couldn’t work due to visa restrictions. You loved your job as a pediatric physician’s assistant; you worked extremely hard to get to that point, you also got to help children everyday and you couldn’t imagine leaving it.

You told Tyson that you sacrificed so much to be with him and he asked you to say what you sacrificed for him. You responded that you sacrificed your time and he said that wasn’t a good enough answer because he did the same for you. You didn’t have any other answers for him. Tyson tearfully told you that all he ever wanted from you was compromise and you struggled to give that to him. He put in so much and you didn’t put in enough. You continued to go back and forth until the kitchen went quiet. Tyson walked up to you, cupped your face and he looked at you with distress in his eyes. You could see how much he was hurting; this relationship was easier said than done. You both kept trying and trying but nothing was working. The cycle kept continuing and it needed to stop at some point. Like a soda bottle that had been shaken up too many times, everything spilled out. Tyson planted a kiss on your head, whispered that he was sorry that he couldn’t do this anymore, grabbed his phone, wallet and keys and walked out. It was done; the engagement was over.

hookup scene

You didn’t sleep that night and you waited up all night, hoping that he would call you. You couldn’t bring yourself to contact him because you were so devastated with what had occurred. You left the beautiful ring that Tyson gave you on the counter and began to start putting your things away in preparation of moving out of the apartment that you shared with your fiance. It hurt so much to take down the photos you had together on the wall and to remove yourself from a place you considered to be home. Tyson returned back in the morning after spending the night at EJ’s house and didn’t say a word to you. You couldn’t say anything to him because what could you say to make things better? You both had fought really hard to stay together but there was no amount of false promises and apologies that could fix what was already broken. You moved out by the following afternoon, put your things in storage and temporarily stayed at an Airbnb until you got a new place. No one from the team checked up on you after it was revealed that the engagement was over. Of course, you knew that you weren’t going to hear from Tyson’s mom or Kacey anymore either. The WAGs completely isolated you. You were immediately removed from the groupchat; all of them and the guys, except for Tracey (Cale’s girlfriend) unfollowed you. Even Charlotte, who was the main reason why you got involved with Tyson in the first place, no longer followed you and Mel didn’t say anything to you. You never expressed this to Tyson but you always knew that you weren’t good enough for them anyways because you were so different from them. You tried to bond with the other WAGs but you didn’t do the same things that they did; you weren’t interested in day drinking and you didn’t have as much time to go run off on squad vacations. They constantly were hanging out without you and rarely included you in what was going on. You were so incompatible with them and tried your best to make yourself comfortable with them because through Tyson, you were a part of their group.

After giving yourself some time to heal from your previous relationship, you tried to move on with someone new. One of the guys you met was the brother of one of your co-workers and you went on a date with him. The date was fine; you went golfing at TopGolf but the entire time you were there, you kept comparing him to Tyson in your mind. He didn’t make you feel the way that Tyson did. He couldn’t make you laugh the way Tyson did. His smile didn’t light up the room like how Tyson’s does. The new guy wasn’t so bad but it wasn’t the same. You and the new guy decided that you wanted to see each other again so you invited him over for dinner at your new place and he never showed up. Having someone say that they were going to be there for you and abandon you painfully ripped into you. You wished that you and Tyson just held on to the love you had for a little longer. You knew deep down that you weren’t truly ready to date again and you took a break from dating.

Tyson was already a hot commodity in the Denver area but none of the new people he tried to move on with panned out. He was back where he was before, dealing with the same type of girls before he met you. He didn’t want to mindlessly hook up with someone or have someone who wanted to be more like an accessory than a partner. Tyson craved a deeper, real connection and he felt like he was wasting his time so he decided to take a break from dating.

keep looking up

Tyson continued to go to therapy to work on himself and he even got himself a puppy to keep him company. He also continued to focus on hockey and achieved his dream of winning the Stanley Cup. However, it didn’t feel right to Tyson to celebrate this major accomplishment without you there. In fact, throughout their Cup run, Tyson began to miss you. There was no playoff WAG jacket with his name on the back for you to look cute in. There was no you congratulating him with tears of joy streaming down your face. There was no necklace for you to match his Cup ring. There was no day with the Cup with you by his side. He wondered if you had missed him too.

At the team celebration party, Tyson had a good time but in the back of his mind, the memory lingered of how you came into his life 2 years ago and now, you were gone. Charlotte had brought her new SoulCycle bestie around that replaced you for Tyson to meet but she was more interested in talking with the WAGs and she obviously had a crush on Mikko. After having a little too much Coors Light and multiple long rants with different people at the party, Tyson drunkenly revealed that he wasn’t mad at you anymore over what happened and that he was going to try to open his heart to dating again. That true love that you had shared together turned into pain but Tyson decided to keep looking up and moving forward in spite of what happened.

what doesn’t kill me

Work still continued to consume you and you went to therapy to work on yourself and your issues. You had also started to make new friends. Thank goodness most of your new friends were not Avalanche fans but they were more interested in the Broncos and Rockies. It still stung sometimes when you heard or saw anything related to the Avs. Of course, you had heard about the Avs Cup win and you were happy for Tyson. Sometimes, you did miss him and you also wondered what it would have been like to be a hockey WAG to witness your partner achieving their goal of winning the Cup. You still hadn’t dipped your toes back into the dating pool since the last guy but you were going back to being content in your single life. The golden hour moment of your relationship with Tyson had faded to black but it was okay because what didn’t kill you made you stronger.

there is a light

There was a light at the end of this dark tunnel. Tyson always told you that you had a light inside of you that lit up his world. He was right and he brought his own light into your life. One thing that you and Tyson could mutually agree on was that there was no bad blood between the both of you and the relationship failed due to incompatibility. Maybe if you and Tyson had dated for a little longer before getting engaged, maybe some of the problems that plagued your relationship would come to the surface before deciding to spend the rest of your lives together. Although things didn’t end ideally, you got to be loved by an amazing guy, who didn’t always treat you right but whenever he did, he treated you so well. Tyson got to be loved by someone who loved him for who he truly was and not for his money or status as a hockey player. You came into each other's lives for a reason and the tumultuous relationship you had taught you both something. It taught you what truly being in a relationship is like and that you should loosen your grip on your life. It taught Tyson that it was okay to not have what everyone else has and that the right person will come around at the right time. It both taught you that rushing into a relationship doesn’t always work out and that taking the time to get to know someone (even if it takes a while) will always pay off in the end because compatibility is essential and compromise is important. You both had forgiven each other for what had happened in the relationship. You and Tyson were both grateful and thankful to share part of your lives together. You both still held love for each other in your hearts but knew that breaking up was the best thing to do at the end of the day.

gracias a la vida

As you walked through City Park on a Sunday afternoon in October, you decided to listen to a podcast. As you scrolled through to find a show to listen to, you noticed that your AirPods had connected to a song instead. You recognized the song as gracias a la vida by Kacey Musgraves and you instantly knew that Tyson was close by. The only reason why your AirPods were connected to his phone was because when you and Tyson went to visit his family before you got engaged, you attempted to watch a movie together on his phone before Tyson, a noted plane sleeper, went to sleep. It was also easier for you to connect your own AirPods instead of sharing them separately. Just as he did when you met at Charlotte and Nathan's housewarming party, Tyson was quietly observing you. He thought about disconnecting your AirPods but he saw that you were walking towards him. When you got to him, using the same tone when you first spoke to him, you told him that you had noticed he was watching you. Tyson chuckled at your words; you missed the sound of his laugh. He asked how you were doing since the last time you saw each other and you began exchanging small talk with each other. Although you and Tyson were lost together as lovers, you didn’t lose each other as friends. You also didn’t completely cut ties with each other after splitting; you both refollowed each other on social media, quietly kept tabs on each other and watched each other’s stories but you hadn’t communicated with each other since you broke up. Tyson explained that he was at the park to take his dog for a walk after a vet appointment. The dog was so adorable and precious. You and Tyson had talked about getting a dog before but were waiting until you moved into a house together so that the dog would have enough space. Of course, you couldn’t agree on what breed of dog to get.

You wished deep down that you had compromised more with Tyson. You could admit that you were a bit selfish when you were together but that was part of how you controlled things in your life. Tyson was a great guy who had some wounds from his past but he carried it so well. The love that you used to share together reminded you both that you were worthy of great love. Even though you hurt each other a lot, you missed Tyson and his sweet smile so much and he missed you too. The only thing in the world you wanted to do at the moment was hold his hand and walk around the park with him. You had wanted to start over and forget that your engagement had failed and you had wondered if Tyson felt the same. Tyson wanted to ask you if you had moved on with someone new but you asked him if he had instead. He had gone on dates here and there but the spark just wasn’t there. Tyson was still single and it gave you a little hope that maybe you could get back together. Tyson looked down at the time and mentioned that he had to go. You hadn’t seen him in a long while and you didn’t want him to leave. Tyson picked up on your body language, just as he had done before and he embraced you into a hug. Before he officially left, you whispered to him gracias a la vida.

Thank you for this life. He smiled back at you after letting you go.

Soon after Tyson left, you sent a text to a familiar number asking them if they were free that upcoming weekend to meet up for breakfast at the Bluebird Cafe. You continued on your walk and only hoped that they would say yes.

[puckpocketed]

As someone who’s the go-to prospects blog in my mind, do you have any thoughts on Aron kiviharju dropping to the fourth round? The video the Wild shared after he got drafted is soo interesting to me

"Let me tell you one thing, man; you just made the biggest steal of the draft. I promise you that."

29/06/2024 - The Minnesota Wild draft Aron Kiviharju 122nd overall

Aron Kiviharju was supposed to go 1st overall.

Can you be a bust before you ever get drafted? Can the narrative miasma of going 1st overall linger on someone who went 122nd?

Kiviharju’s first game report from the 2024 EP Draft Guide is dated November 24th, 2019. He was 13 back then. According to them, no other player in EP's database — nor in any other draft guide this year — has had scouts' eyes on them so early, for so long. They say he understands the game beyond what's reasonable for a player his age, that he's always excelled while playing above his year level, that even though he's small and light there's something special about his game. Singular, elite, a phenom. This child is the next big thing. He is 13, 14, 15, he is anointed Boysaviour before his voice has cracked.

How many times have we heard this story before?

One day, Aron Kiviharju will be competing with and against players his age. And when that day comes, it might feel a bit odd for the defenceman. For years, ever since Kiviharju was young, he has played up a level, or two, or three. At age 13, he was playing U16 hockey with TPS Turku and, this past season, as a 15-year-old, he started with TPS’ U18 team before moving on to the U20 club. His numbers – 30 points in 35 games – would be deemed impressive for a 19-year-old forward, never mind a young defenceman who only turned 16 in January.

Steven Ellis' article on Kiviharju for Daily Faceoff, early September 2023, broadens the scope of public scrutiny even further:

Time travel back to 2022, and you'll find his name is printed right next to some familiar faces from this year's draft: Macklin Celebrini, Cole Eiserman, Berkly Catton, Ivan Demidov — except, they're all listed as possible challengers to his assumed throne.

And then, the accident.

The glaring flag on Kiviharju's draft profile, and across every report, every interview, and article since is the reality of his stalled potential. A scout’s job is to project a player’s future, but progress is rarely linear. What might halt a once-promising player's progress? Injuries and global pandemics and a poorly managed season or two; these things don't care for destiny. For every realised prodigy there are a dozen more who will fall short of expectations — this is something you pick up fast reading backdated draft guides and sifting through the history of the NHL.

In Kiviharju's case, the dislocated kneecap and the skate cut to the throat are the things most will write about. Behind the scenes, however, there were evidently other factors that contributed to his drop to the 4th round.

You see, every time I think I've escaped it, the size issue comes back.

The belief remains, however, that larger is better. I’m understating just how much it pervades hockey discourses: it’s present in scouting reports and has had measurable impacts on drafting; I hear it on professional and amateur hockey podcasts; it’s thrown out casually during interviews by coaches and fellow players. I can’t read or listen to anything about Faber without stumbling across it — the preoccupation with size. I’ll be very clear here: I’m not reading anything malicious from specific people, I’m not accusing anyone of crimes, and in no way am I implying that ice hockey is unique here. Just the opposite, in fact. I know professional sports hinges upon producing stars, that the commodification of young bodies is endemic to the business. Those stars are, stripped down to the basest definition, workers who perform with their bodies and sell their labour, whose bodies will inevitably be coveted and revered for their adherence to the Platonic Ideal of their respective crafts. For men’s sports, there’s something extra on top of the commodification of children’s bodies — it’s the vernacular of near-fetishistic worship; of the masculine, the oxymoronic youthful-but-mature, the virile. The language used to praise Faber and other young d-men like him has my stomach twisting in a discomfort that I find hard to quantify — players, coaches, and the media all talk about him, and the hockey blinders slip. He’s a “workhorse”, a “stud”, he’s got “a man’s body” — and call it projecting, call it reading too deeply into innocuous statements, but the closest thing I can compare it to is hearing my AFAB body spoken about as an object whose value can be reduced to its function, its usefulness, its closeness to sexual maturity.

Excerpt from the last time I wrote about a Minnesota d-man (sensing a pattern here).

Kiviharju probably would've dropped some places regardless of his injury and missed time; that's where the league is trending right now in terms of draft preference. When you're small, every mistake is amplified by your lack of size. You must be twice as skilled, faster, more consistent.

p. 595, The 2024 Elite Prospects NHL Draft Guide

Kiviharju's media appearances read like someone who is haunted by his draft stock despite his assertions otherwise.

Kiviharju's bold proclamation, caught on GM Bill Guerin’s hot mic, that the Wild just got "the biggest steal of the draft” will likely be associated with Kiviharju's rise — or perhaps his fall — as Minnesota media and fans work at their mythmaking. I don't know if I want to care about some hockey myths anymore. My appetite for them sours day by day. These myths were started by the eyes and hands and mouths of people watching a boy of 11 play hockey, who witnessed him and salivated at his unwritten future. Part of me thinks: I don't want to be complicit in their continued weaving — though I know I will be anyway.

I read what he says in the lead up to the draft and it's like he's telling himself as he tells us; that he will not care, because he is worth more than this.

From Kiviharju's draft day interview, transcribed by me:

Q: What's the biggest thing you learned about yourself going through the rehab process? AK: Kind of like... it's — life is more than hockey. Hockey is the biggest thing for me. I love the sport. I will do this for the rest of my life, for sure. First playing it, then probably I will continue with hockey after my career, so I've been always thinking like that, and I'm still thinking like that, but it's just that it's — more. Life is more than just hockey, there's a lot of things. And there's a lot of different things about myself, kind of like when you don't — if hockey is my fuel and I'm a car and I'm 200 days without getting any fuel, we have to find some new ways how to get that fuel, to keep my car going. - Q: How has your cut healed since U-18's? AK: Yeah so (he gestures to the cut right below his jawline) that was a pretty close one, but thank God we're alive. That's what I kind of meant when I said that this life is more than just hockey. So first you're 200 days without playing hockey and when you come back your first game the World Under 18's a skate cuts your throat open, so it's very close calls, and that's when you remember that this is only hockey.

Whatever happens, I want Kiviharju to hold on to this. Don't get me wrong, I'm rooting for him. In so many ways, he fits the archetype of players I enjoy. I want him to make it to the show and blow everyone's expectations out of the water and bring Minnesota the Cup. I love this team, even if I rarely post about them. Even still, whether he shoots into stardom or he washes out of the NHL, it doesn't fucking matter. It's only hockey.

And he is more than his ability to live up to our myths.

[knightsofsliverandgoldstory]

Welcome to my Story Blog!

Next chapter to be posted: Chapter 5

Enter below ⬇️ for more info.

Hello, I'm @callsign-denmark (my main blog/ Masterlist), this is a blog I made for my fanfiction story for Marc-André Fleury and my OC Barlow Kane. Tumblr won't let me make a normal masterlist on my phone so I found some loopholes lol. All chapters will be poster here in order, oldest being at the bottom of the page and newest at the top. Also any moodboards, wallpapers, fake media posts, est. Will be posted here as well. All chapters will be posted here, my main blog and my A03, all which will be linked too in each chapter.

Thank you so much for following, reblogging and loving on story and page!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 4 and 1/2

[dubious-writing]

I wanted a more secure place to store my kiss prompt snippets than wasting away halfway down my blog, so i’ve added them to my ao3!

[krissywendell]

just found this and its making me insane. $269 for a kirill to sign puck and you arent allowed to touch him when taking a picture