#minimalistkrp

[gvnois-blog]

self para - masks -

( @minimalistkrp )

the japanese has a saying, a human has three faces. three personalities. one the show to their family, one they show to their friends and the other they show only to themselves. eunyeon, has an uncountable amount of faces.

she’s a big, fat liar. her life is nothing, her past is completely different from the reality she speaks about. she blurts out continuous cover ups to make her a second life, a second human of who she is (but only to seem normal). her favourite colour is orange, her favourite tv show is yugioh, her favourite flowers are freesias. but none of those get to her heart as a favourite-- they’re all unimpressive, but what led this woman to choose this things as the ones who;d make people think of her when they saw them?

orange is a colour meaning of warmth, fire and excitement. its a colour that warms up the heart and makes it feel at ease, safe and good. it is not an aggressive colour, such as red, and it is not a weak, soft colour such as yellow or light blue. its a mixture of what is strong and what its weak. 

yu gi oh is a show that aired in the first decade of the 2000′s. by that time, eunyeon was roaming around the 9 to 19 years of age which led to a very significant opportunity for her to choose such programme. at the same time, it is not a lie that it was a hit one, that it caught everyone on the hype of card dueling and, in her own personal mind, it seemed logical that she liked such thing so much. at the same time, it is her only favourite show and she isnt aware of the others due to another lie: tv rule. she was only allowed to watch tv at a certain time, which was the time yu gi oh was aired. she claimed that because she did not know of any other, that that was the only one that had a spot in her heart.

freesias. the only reason behind this lie its because they smell good. eunyeon never sought for a deeper explanation on the randomness of this pick; it happened on a day where it was the only flower name she remembered when asked what kind of flower she liked. 

these three explain the level of her facade. they bring an idea of how deep this woman can go when it comes to not showing her real interests, not showing her true enthusiasms for human activities and, in a bigger scale, not show her growing apathy for the special over attraction to certain things. 

she was, is, and will always be a woman reigned by the logic of the world. morals, dignity, pride. she is unknown to all of those. manners, respect to the elder. hate and love. she always spoke from her brain, never listened to her heart and reached a point in life where she solemnly declares that her heart has never placed a dilemma upon her brain; a woman of science that can only live through science, but in order to survive a life with people surrounding her and liking her, she has come to the solution to create a mountain of lies, so strong that no matter how much someone tried to bring it down to reach the core of who she is, it’ll end up in a miserable fail.

[yeozus]

Character Development : Description

BASICS

full name :  yeo sanyeon ;  legally changed to yeo hunter in 2005.  nicknames :  hun, hunt, hunnie / honey. his elder sister refers to him as “saengoo” somewhat often.  sex / gender :  male / genderfluid.  right or left :  left.  age :  128 / 129. height :  168cm / 5′6.5″.  eye colour :  bright gold.  hair colour :  black, currently.  distinguishing marks :  none.  paragraph of physical traits :  though considered standard height for a korean male,  hunter is rather short when the industry in which he began his public career is concerned.  what height he has, his legs account for most of it,  and he’s actually grown an inch or two since his modeling debut in 2005-’06.  he is slender though toned in several areas  (  most notably his abdomen, arms, calves and thighs  )  and this may be accredited to his regular exercise regimen.  on the occasion that he gains weight,  it most likely will be found around his thighs / glutes,  which is where most of his low percentage of body fat can be found.  he builds muscle easily,  but likes to stay lithe,  as that’s simply his personal preference.  he is fair-skinned,  though he tans easily,  with naturally plush lips and medium-sized eyes.  hunter’s nose is very thin, and his nostrils appear somewhat pinched,  due to a rhinoplasty.  he has an angular and sharp jawline,  as opposed to his natural rounded shape,  as he’s also had his jaw shaved.  both procuderes were carried out about 12 years ago. 

FAMILY / RELIGION

parents :  lee daeyeon  (  mother, deceased.  ) ;  yeo sanggil  (  father, deceased.  )  siblings : yeo leeyeon  (  elder sister, +10 years.  )  ;  yeo junyeon  ( elder brother,  +3 years, deceased. )  marital status :  dating.  significant other/s :  kim woobin  (  boyfriend.  )  children :  yeo cheonsa  (  daughter, b. 2012.  )  other relatives :  none.  pets :  grey  (  alaskan malamute / gray wolf hybrid.  )  ;  honey  (  shar pei.  )  ;  anubis  (  great dane, blind.  )  ;  bunnie  (  european shorthair cat.  )  ;  osiris  (  chinchilla.  )   friends :  several close ones,  many acquaintances.   enemies :  any demon  (  that he hasn’t made amends with / grown fond of.  ) ethnicity :  asian  (  korean.  ) religion :  christian  (  most nearly protestant.  )   beliefs :  very liberal,  despite being somewhat religious / god-fearing.  superstitions :  seeing the bride before the wedding,  voodoo dolls.  diction / accent :  strong  seoul / gyeonggi satoori.  hunter uses a lot of slang and speaks very casually,  though any “vowel” sounds tend to be liasoned together or skipped completely.  he speaks this way due to where he matured in incheon,  learning to speak the dialect of the people around him in the more rundown / slumlike areas of town,  as that is where he could afford to live at the time.  though,  he can speak formally and does when he finds it appropriate.  when speaking in english,  his accent is thick and he tends to speak barely-noticably slower than native speakers,  and as he learned english in new york,  he has a very slight new york accent  (  only when speaking english.  )  all other languages he’s become fluent in,  he speaks the standard dialect,  though he’s well familiar with french and italian slang as he has residences in those countries. 

SCHOOL / WORK / HOME

education : college / university graduate.  degree(s) :  master’s degree in fashion design from fashion institute of technology ;  bachelor’s degree in film / theatre from seoul institute of the arts.  occupation :  fashion designer,  supermodel,  aspiring actor.  own or rent : own. living space :  32,000 sq. foot mansion in seoul. work space :  in-home office,  several other offices at the chanel and louis vuitton headquarters.  main mode of transport :  car / chauffeur. 

PSYCHOLOGY

fears :  loneliness,  insects. secrets :  the fact that he is not human,  his relationship,  his real name. iq :  114. eating habits :  one to two full meals a day,  two or three small snacks in between.  he eats most of whatever he wants and tends to exercise off any unhealthy consumption.  food preferences :  salty foods,  though he does have a bit of a sweet tooth as well.  sleeping habits :  sporadic, anywhere from 30 minutes to 10 hours.  book preferences :  enjoys a wide variety of styles,  though romance and suspense are his favorites. music preferences :  another wide variety,  he’ll listen to almost anything though he tends to refrain from country or anything too slow.  rap, rock and r&b are the most prominent genres of his collection.  groups or alone :  groups. leader or follower :  leader. planner or spontaneous :  balanced,  but a bit more on the spontaneous side. journal :  he does not keep a physical journal. hobbies :  drawing,  singing,  dancing,  art collecting. how do they relax :  creating designs,  talking with loved ones,  or sleeping. what excites them :  everything about fashion,  discovering new music / artists,  the company of those he loves,  parties,  alcohol.  what stresses them:  misunderstandings,  a loaded schedule,  not getting enough sleep / caffeine.  pet peeves :  not being listened to,  being ignored,  people who wear shoes in the house,  those who make assumptions as well as the assumptions themselves. prejudices :  none prominent. attitudes :  usually friendly,  though he can become very sassy / outspoken very easily.  when irritated,  it worsens.  he is also quick to become jealous,  though not of material things. obsessions :  fashion,  his own appearance,  music. addictions :  alcohol,  nicotine,  affection,  attention,  sexual pleasure.  ambitions :  to be a great faher,  to better himself as a designer despite all his success,  to broaden his acting career.

OBJECTS KEPT IN

purse/bag :  makeup  (  coordinated with the day’s look for touch-ups  )  ;  lotion ;  gloves  (  both fingerless and normal in case he needs to cover his hands for some reason  )  ;  perfume / cologne  ;  his passport  ;  a vodka flask  ;  gum / mints  ;  phone cases  (  to coordinate with his outfit  )  ;  2 pairs of sunglasses ;  wallet  ;  lighter  (  if not in pockets  ). wallet :  black card ;  credit card(s) ;  driver’s license ;  business card(s)  (  both his own and collected ones  )  ;  a few photos of his family ;  cash (  usually not an excessive amount,  since he carries his cards with him.  )  fridge :  usually full,  though he tends to throw out a lot of items since he only lives with his daughter,  and neither of them eat a considerable lot. medicine cabinet :  tea,  painkillers,  first aid kit,  iron pills,  antidepressants,  sedatives,  vitamin supplements,  cough syrup,  cold / flu medicine.  glove compartment :  napkins  (  in case he needs to blow his nose  )  ;  flashlight ;  painkillers ;  cigarettes ;  lube.  junk drawer :  condoms,  lube,  tissues,  wet-wipes,  reading glasses,  reading light,  spare phone charger,  batteries. desk :  pens,  pencils,  his sketchbook,  work tablet,  work laptop,  colored pencil sets,  pencil sharpener,  erasers,  rulers,  scissors. clothes pockets :  cigarettes,  lighter(s),  phone,  headphones.

OTHER

halloween costumes :  he did not dress up last year,  but the year before he was beyoncé.  talents :  singing,  dancing,  design,  drawing. politics :  far left,  though he takes no formal political associations. flaws :  loud,  overly emotional / sensitive,  (  passive-  )  aggressive,  impulsive,  holds anger,  lustful,  crude,  vulgar,  sassy / smart-mouthed,  broken,  addict. strengths :  caring,  bold,  ambitious,  loving,  energetic,  talented,  versatile,  kind,  generous,  persistent. drugs / alcohol :  smokes cigarettes / cigars,  smokes weed,  heavy drinker  (  will drink literally anything  ).  passwords :  usually something having to do with elton john.  prized possessions :  his mother’s cross earring,  his brother’s military badges,  his own jewelry.  time and place :  korean standard time ;  seoul,  south korea.  special places :  his apartment in paris.  special memories :  when he was scouted,  when he first moved to seoul,  meeting karl and gilyoon,  meeting soojoo,  the birth of his daughter,  the last time he saw his mother,  several instances between he and his brother as children,  reuniting with his sister and learning she is still alive after more than a decade apart.

[ponymkup]

[ * dev question ] Why did you choose to work with make up? Is there a special reason?

“I don’t consider it work,” she replied with a shake of her head. “It started as a hobby, ever since young. I loved to experiment with make up.” Hyemin aspired to look perfect, and she sought out ways to achieve that goal with cosmetics. At first, it seemed like a daily routine, to slap on make up and walk out of the door. Eventually, as she discovered more products and what they are used for, she learnt how to utilize them to enhance her best features and conceal the so-called ‘imperfections’. 

“I never intended to get on this career path,” she continued, hands gesturing animatedly while explaining her work experience. “Before this, I had a desk job. Graphic designing… but it didn’t give me any fulfilment so I switched, do what I love most, which is playing with cosmetics. I wanted to make myself and others pretty. It’s an effective boost to your self-confidence when you look good, right?” 

Nose scrunched up slightly, the makeup artist confessed, “I’ll admit though. Initially I had qualms, worries, because there’s a risk my hobby could turn into a laborious job that I don’t enjoy.” Her facial expression brightened up immediately after, a soft grin tugging at the corners of her lips. “But you know the cliché saying, I’m unsure of the exact quote, but it’s along the lines of ‘Choose to do something you love and you won’t have to work another day’? It’s sort of like that. I never regretted changing my career. It’s probably the best decision I’ve ever made in life.”

[itsjooj-blog1]

( + ) Hello, we would like to welcome you to our family! It's a pleasure to have you with us. We're so happy and we truly hope you will be happy to be with us. We also hope you can develop your muse and learn more about them. We aim for simple and uncomplicated! Please feel free to contact us any time! Please be happy and expect weekly asks from us!

• • • Thank you! 

[wiseng-blog]

( + ) Hello, we would like to welcome you to our family! It's a pleasure to have you with us. We're so happy and we truly hope you will be happy to be with us. We also hope you can develop your muse and learn more about them. We aim for simple and uncomplicated! Please feel free to contact us any time! Please be happy and expect weekly asks from us!

thank you so much, will do so.

[minimalistkrp-blog]

Hello everyone, surprisingly enough we’re having another event this month! It’s been around two weeks since the last one, but we decided to make a new one. Also a themed one. Plus, this is another activity check so please read what follows bellow !!

Hello everyone, surprisingly enough we’re having another event this month! It’s been around two weeks since the last one, but we decided to make a new one. Also a themed one. Plus, this is another activity check so please read what follows bellow !!

The admins have decided to pick the theme CARNIVAL this month. As some of you may know, and some maybe not, Carnival is a festive part of the year where people distinguish themselves with someone they are not. Sort of like Halloween, but every country who celebrates this has created a special meaning.

All around the world, Carnival is celebrated around February/March, it depends when the Easter is celebrated. The picture ahead is a picture of Venice, a city that celebrates Carnival:

The Carnival of Venice  is an annual festival held in Venice, Italy. The Carnival ends with the Christian celebration of Lent, forty days before Easter, on Shrove Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday.

But of course, as previously said, a lot of other countries celebrate Carnival too. Countries like Portugal and Brasil, for instances. If you’d like to know more just do a simple search on Google, the images are also great and you’ll get a feeling of what it is around the world.

Now why did we pick the Carnival in Venice? It’s because it’s known because of the masks and that’s exactly what this Event will be about. Unlike the other, this one will be an event for you to work on your muse alone. A Character Development type of Event. The goal here is for your muse to write about masks. Did they use one? Do they use one? Are they 100% honest with everyone? Are they honest with themselves? What is the mask they use to hide their real facade, and if they don’t use one, why didn’t they ever feel the need to do so?

We want to do this so you can re-value your muse, so you can try to figure and understand them better. So we do want you to write a self-para and to tag us by mentioning us in your post ( put @ minimalistkrp ). So we can see you did it, we’re not gonna say if it’s good or bad, we’re not teachers. We want you to do this because as oc muses it’s good we know who our characters are so we can grow them.

Now before everyone asks:

Is it obligatory ?

This time it will be. Not all events are obligatory, especially the ones where we pair you up! Yet this one is what brought this directory all together, character development!

Do we have a limit date?

Because we know everyone is busy we will give you until March’s 10th. If you need more time please, PLEASE, send us a message!

What if I can’t do it?

If you can’t do it, send us an ask explaining why you can’t.

Members who are on hiatus have to do it too?

Of course not!

Can new members join?

THEY SHOULD! Members who were accepted this Sunday are already part of the members who HAVE to join. The people who will be accepted after March’s 1st are not obligated to join but it would be lovely if they did!

Also, part of the activity check is to like this post. No need to reblog it like last time, a like will be enough!

[mellifluxvs-blog]

I am not hiding behind my canvas - I am living in it.

Excerpt no.46 - an unpublished autobiography ( @minimalistkrp )

I’m truly just living my life as fully as I possibly can I do not understand why that is so hard for people to grasp. I am existing happily and wholeheartedly. Who cares if everything isn’t true. No one has never been lied to, I am just an impression upon that experience. And besides– it isn’t lying… it is acting. I am a persona! A creation, with depth and purpose and livelihood. I am complex, feeling and attentive. Any conversation you have with me is with me, just… another me. More interesting– no, more interested. So alert in fact that I even sleep with my eyes open. Quite a story in fact, I have such a stock of eye drops just looking at it would bring the strongest man to tears. To tears…

Again, I am not sure what has everyone so bothered. My mother calls me and she says, she says “Since when do you speak this way? Are you intoxicated?" As if I’m a regular old alcoholic tripping outside the bar. I’m offended. And I told her that too. Environments change people– alter them, excuse me. I am simply altered. You could say I shoved everything to the back of my mind but I absolutely haven’t. It’s methodical, well thought out and planned. Absolutely planned. Stanislavsky would certainly shake my hand, I’m so dedicated to my craft I’ve become a part of it. She said after some time, many phone calls later (excruciatingly angered and absolutely bothered), “Whatever this mask is that you’ve decided to live behind? It’s plain stupid, talk to me like I am your mother.”

It’s hard to have respect for someone who just… plainly disrespects you. And it’s not as if she ever had any respect for me so I mean, what else is there to do. I was so much more boring before… I snapped once and tried to explain this to her and she said (rising) “You can’t put makeup on a monkey and call it a woman.” Which was a stupid analogy, but I didn’t say that, I said: “And am I a monkey, mom?” She grunted and hung up.

Perhaps I am still boring and not even the slightest bit exciting but what is important is that I believe so. Raise a brow, question me, stare me down. I am in control at the very least– at the end of the day. So it doesn’t matter, I presume, I am the best monkey.

Sincerely,

James

[trouvxilles-blog]

bleed brilliant blue & stunning silver.

@minimalistkrp​

i took a deep breath, and listened to the old brag of my heart. i am. i am. i am.

terry wants to believe he’s a genuine person.

he is.

he used to be.

he sits on the edge of the university rooftop, legs dangling six stories from the ground. it’s easy to jump, but he doesn’t. he hates heights. that’s one thing he doesn’t tell people. another thing is that he’s slowly slipping into insanity, and he’s torn between doing something about it and just letting it happen.

back when terry was nine, his mom made him a colorful mask for halloween, told him to wear it at all times so people couldn’t tell who he was - like a superhero, he thought. but his mother smiled, told him, “no, honey. you’re a completely different person tonight.”

lance, who was eleven, wore the real superhero mask - to hide his identity. it was red, and he wore a blue cape, which was really just a bright blue blanket tied loosely around his neck. he was still lance underneath. tanya was fourteen, and wore a black mask reminiscent of a black siamese cat. she was in the kitchen, preparing the paper bags they’re using for trick-or-treating.

terry’s mask stood out from the rest - painted a stunning midnight blue, looked almost like velvet, with intricate silver details. debra obviously did not pass on any of her artistic skills to terry. he held the mask in his hands in awe - curved with its edged turned upwards. it looked like terry was about to attend a masquerade ball, and he loved it. he gave his mom a tight hug, told her it was beautiful. (today, the mask remains untouched on his desk.)

in masquerade balls, attendees wear elegantly elaborate masks for the sake of anonymity. by the end of the night, they could have gone home with a total stranger. by the time terry was fourteen, the idea seemed thrilling. when their parents had their nightly round of drunken disputes, and tanya sent them off to bed, terry would wear the mask - pretend he was a different person, like his mother told him five halloweens ago.

it was just after midnight - the first of november.

she left a week later.

when terry first developed symptoms of bipolar disorder at nineteen. he woke up to run ten miles at five in the morning despite only getting three hours of sleep - subjective, since he didn’t even remember falling asleep. he came back home, took a shower, and headed straight for rotc. he arrived at seven, right on the dot. the lieutenant was impressed by both his attendance and energy. he couldn’t stop talking, ideas and words flying in a jumbled and disorganized manner. his friends could barely get a word in. he managed to get in - at most - around twelve hours of sleep for the entire week, although terry woke up unsure if he even got any sleep at all. it was easy to hide the fact that you were slipping into insanity when all you did all week was smile and laugh and run and fuck.

a week and a half later, he crashed. terry could barely get out of bed, snapped at any and everyone that tried to talk to him. julie left him food, which he didn’t touch all day. he could manage to take one bite before feeling the need to vomit the contents of his empty stomach. it was hard to hide the fact that you were slipping into insanity when all you did was sleep and cry and snap and swing bats at anyone who comes behind you and claim that there are people following you outside and, at one point, attempt suicide. without knowing you attempted suicide.

terry’s attendance shifted from an invite response to involuntary confinement. the venue changed from vibrant masquerade ball to a dull gray room. his mask turned from elegant blue with intricate silver to white pills in orange bottles.

on most days terry still wonders if he’s wearing a mask, the one from a long time ago, the one his mother told him to wear. or if it’s something else entirely, one he carelessly drew on a piece of paper in a desperate attempt to hide his shame. sometimes he wonders if he can ever remove it by himself, or if it just slips off on its own the way his sanity does once every few days, weeks, months, and he has no way of controlling it.

you’re a completely different person tonight.

and he is. but, really, he can’t tell the difference anymore.

he doesn’t remember who he is. was.

it’s a curse, terry thinks. he wishes his mother never uttered those words.

every night is terrifying. terry doesn’t know when his mind would transform into a pit of darkness, a giant blackhole that swallows up any remnant of the person he used to be just a day ago. sometimes he remembers. other times he doesn’t. 

terry used to be a genuine person. a person with nothing to hide. but now, he does - behind the same pretty blue and silver masquerade mask, except he knows he's never getting to that ball.

he hides not because he wants to. he hides because he has to.

[haydenmaycry]

( masks )

carnival event: ( @minimalistkrp​ )

She remembered the first time she had ever seen the masks worn for Carnival. They were a lot different than the ones she had seen in Sicily the years before. But those terrified her but these, she had never seen anything so detailed and beautiful. 

Hayden hadn’t been able to attend the ball the first year they had been in Italy, the second year, she had been able to attend but only for a few hours before dad had taken them home. Their third and final year in Italy, dad decided he would take them to Venice and allowed them to stay longer. The kids were also allowed to each get a mask of their own. Hayden had been waiting for that moment, tugging her older sister to the shop so they could both pick out a mask. She had seen all the beautiful masks the women wore, the different colors and the detailed costumes that went along with them, tying the whole outfit perfectly.

Mom was keen on dressing her triplets alike and even at the age of 8, she suggested the triplets pick similar colors and masks. Of course Hayden refused, more like threw a fit, her father opting with a  ❝ pick whatever color and mask you’d like, princess. ❞

Hayden hadn’t made such a big deal up to that point about matching with her brothers but this time she wanted to be different. Sloan was allowed to wear and look different, why did she have to look like her two brothers? Wasn’t it enough that they had similar features? Personality wise, the three were completely different. Kayden was bubbly and laid back, he got along pretty well with everyone. Jayden was a little more reserved and independent. And Hayden was all around pretty loud and mischievous, always dragging her brothers in on her shenanigans but easily getting away with it.  

The boys of course had no problem matching, it came natural to them after all these years. Their masks the same design but different colors. Hayden figured that’s what their mother wanted for her as well. But she decided to go a different route. She picked a purple and black, butterfly metal half mask. Something a little heavy for her at the time and she was pretty sure she regretted wearing it after a few hours but Hayden was determined to be different from the rest of her siblings and kept it on the whole time.

Sure she was a triplet but she was the only girl out of the three. She didn’t want to look like her brothers anymore. She wanted to be her own person. Hayden Kang, not Kayden and Jayden’s mirror.

[kaikarie-archieve]

[ * dev question ] Do you hold an expectations for your future? Do you have any plans?

            ☾ — It was a hard question to begin with. A question she was a bit too scared to answer since so much things had changed. In the middle of 2016 and through out the past five years she would answer that her plans were to go to the States to take a master in History and be an explorer. See the world and find more about ancient history. With nothing holding her back, not a lover, not kids and not even a cat. Her plans for the future were to be free, like a wild horse. With no one to hold her back from her freedom.

             But it wasn’t like that anymore.

            Now she had experienced things that had made her feel a bit too ashamed and little intelectual. Because of finding no job in her area in Korea she had been forced to work somewhere else. And without thinking much she had gotten herself into businesses that had nothing to do with her previous personality. Now she was a little messed up to even consider herself intelectual. She could remember all the emperors from the Roman Empire and she knew the two world wars from scratch. But if you asked her she would quickly throw herself down to assume she was not smart enough to even teach.

           “I’m thinking maybe find a master here in South Korea. Finally I have a night job so that would allow me to study in the day.” It was true, she was a bartender now and she had left the book store. What was only making her feel more dumb to begin with. She was no longer surrounded by culture and part of her was letting that side of her die. “I think I want to study in the future. Find a house to myself too. Maybe marry a rich guy.” She laughed when saying this. “All I know is that my plans is to be happy. And live without worries.”

[erxsus]

welcome to the carnival, @minimalistkrp 

Admit One: The Head. 

⟨ One ⟩ In her mind, all of the lies that she tells are rational. Each and every single one serves a purpose and she foresees that before the words spill from her mouth. 

⟨ Two ⟩ Carefully constructed mistruths are the base of who she is, the very cornerstone of her being. So, with red lips and guarded eyes, she paints on a mask of what they expect her to be; beautiful and elegant, charming and graceful, happy. 

⟨ Three ⟩ Rationally has always been her best friend and she convinces herself that all of this is for a reason. All of this lying is for the greater good. One day your words will come into fruition. As she walks through campus, she looks around at the rest of the student body and convinces herself that she’s normal. That the way her fingers tingle when they touch another’s bare skin and the constant buzzing of memories that don’t belong to her are normal. 

⟨ Four ⟩ Sometimes it works. 

⟨ Five ⟩ It has to work. 

Admit One: The Heart. 

⟨ H ⟩ Heartless. That’s what she calls herself when those pretty lies tumble from her tinted lips with ease. Each new false tale is just another weave within her web and she claims she feels no guilt. Perhaps that was true long ago, but she’s tired now. A hand comes to scratch at her chest. The pressure weighs heavy.  

⟨ E ⟩ Every so often she’ll have a deep conversation with someone. They’ll ask about her life and various other things, but somehow they always end up asking, “Are you happy?” When she answers, she smiles and makes sure her gaze meets theirs. “Of course.” Her heart skips a beat. 

⟨ A ⟩ A clean canvas is always the best to work on and so she always begins her daily routine with washing her face. She’s gentle as she works the soap over her cheeks and a pink hue comes to the surface beneath the ministrations. When she dries her face and looks into the mirror, one green and one brown eyes look back her. She stands there, looking at her reflection, for what feels like hours. Her heart beats in a steady rhythm.

⟨ R ⟩ Remembering the past isn’t always pleasant and she tries to avoid it at all costs. However, when she glances down at her hands, sometimes the memories come rushing back. She crouches down and tries not to sob. 

⟨ T ⟩ The moon looks down upon her as she withers in agony. Her fists clench as she rips off the mask. She’s tired. She’s so tired of all of this hiding, but this is all she has. 

 ⟨ L ⟩ Later in the night, she’ll pick up the pieces and rearrange them like a mosaic.

 ⟨ I ⟩ I won’t let anyone hurt me again. 

 ⟨ N ⟩ Never again. 

 ⟨ E ⟩ Each time she breaks down, she prays to the moon and the stars. She pours her heart out to them and as she bathes in their light, her pulse returns to normal and the buzzing within her head ceases. 

 ⟨ S ⟩ Stars rain down in her dreams and her heart is soothed. 

Admit One: The Lie. 

The head remains calm and promises that it’ll all be worth it. 

Admit One: The Truth.

The heart still aches and wonders if it’ll ever know peace. 

[dvnyh-blog]

CARNIVAL

                                                    MASK.

Daniel, the shy kid, the reserved boy in school. Someone that was pure innocence and kindness. He grew up happily in his home, a loving family, a twin sister he did everything with, and an older brother he loved dearly. Things were bright and happy, besides that of his school life. He was fragile, he was a soft child just wanting to be shown the world in a bright and happy way.

Of course, the way Daniel wanted it, was not the way he got it. The world came crashing into him like waves hitting a rock. His brother leaving when he was of a young age, his friend leaving him in this world on his own. Moving to korea with his sister was his escape from that, but then again, another wave hit, his sisters unexpected pregnancy threw him right back against that rock. He moved back to where his first issues had started, reliving everything all over again. Then when he met him, things only got worse, it was constantly everyday hitting that rock hard. Everything flipped upside down for him, he had to escape, others, and himself. Masking who he once was, hiding everything.

So that’s what he did, when he moved back to korea the last and hopefully final time, he changed everything. He wasn’t a shy innocent boy anymore, instead he was a loud, annoying kid most people hated. He became this way so he wouldn’t get close to someone, he didn’t want to get hurt, to be alone was better than being abandoned. So he put on a mask to hide his true self. Hardly anyone saw the true Daniel under this hard mask. It was something he rarely showed anymore.

He no longer wanted to be taken advantage of, to be the one thrown against a rock while riding his wave. He now stood up for himself, he put up a wall but it had its cracks. His mask he thought was secured tightly to him, was actually hanging by a thread. It was hard, but he was trying with all his might to keep this mask on. He didn’t want people to see his weak side. And he was going to keep it this way as much as he could. He would push himself to be outgoing, to be the loud kid, just to protect what ever innocence in him he had left. He wasn’t going to break down and be weak.

@minimalistkrp

[zvyr]

Carnival: MASKS

001. ( @minimalistkrp)

Seungil had always been the more artistic and strong son in the family, A natural admiration infested within Jinsoo for his brother. Why was that? Possibly because he had raised him more than his own parents had done. Their parents weren't necessarily horrible and neglect them-- Jinsoo himself believed that they loved the two of them just as much as they could; The wanted them to do well, but they sometimes fell to less than satisfactory results. No one ever said that raising a child and then another three years later would be easy-- it didn't get easier, it got harder and more challenging.

Jinsoo, Unlike his older brother, was quiet-- He was shy, soft spoken, and gentle for the most part. He was a child that didn't cry a lot and enjoyed sleeping and was particularly considered the 'easier child' between the two of them when they were children. Seungil was always the one who was more adventurous and outspoken, spontaneous-- and maybe that was partially because of their age differences or maybe it was simply just how he was. It was crazy to think about how much Jinsoo had changed from these days--while his brother had stayed the same; Brusque, Tough, Sharp-spoken. . . Jinsoo had mirrored these traits of his brother and become a strong man by the time she was 19 years old-- He had mastered it.

Yet, Those who knew him, Always knew That he was the same little boy who lost his turtle and spent hours in the cold autumn air searching for him with his elder brother before it grew dark and he had to return home-- Crying for hours until he fell asleep at the foot of his bed. The same little boy who was afraid of the dark but wouldn't admit to it, so his brother skipped school one day and simply spent hours using a glow-in-the-dark paint that illuminated the walls and the ceiling; Transforming his whole room into a galaxy of lights, the whole universe. He was a soft child like this.

Nowadays, It was rare to see the glimpse of this boy that once inhabited. Jinsoo struggled to act like his true self on a regularity because he had a hard time opening up to people. The sensitive boy that he once was had grown a thick shell around him-- a wall that was built to hide himself inside and keep everyone out. His trust was never easily obtained and he always doubted whenever someone would show interest in him, Humans having ulterior motives were something that was well known to him and he'd rather not let someone shatter him.

This began forming when his father began to become unfaithful-- He started drinking and shouting, and acting in such a disdainful fashion that it harboured unpleasant feelings within everyone in the family, but it wasn't like every family was perfect-- it wasn't like every family was in ruins either. Despite his father being like this for a good amount of time, There were great moments, memorable ones. Soon, These things seemed like distant memories, nightmarish thoughts that may or may not have been dreamt up as a far off reality.  That's exactly how his father portrayed it in the aftermath, That he was an angel who had never done wrong-- but this was when things began to rile up and become hectic; Seungil wanted to do art. Seungil didn't want to go to college. His father was outraged and this arose many problems.

He was then, seen to himself as the martyr, This is what he decided upon himself. 'The good and obedient son, Jinsoo.' That was his image. He studied abroad, furthered his knowledge so that he could go into something that paid well and that he could be independent, and refused all money from his parents. He wasn't ever going to be the good, perfect, angel son they wanted him to be-- But he took on the facade for the better of everyone. Jinsoo became tough and closed off, focused on one goal and continued further.  He wondered, if one day, he would ever fall off the trail that had been paved so neatly for him-- Or if he would begin to enjoy it, accept it? currently, though, he just did as he was told.

[cvnikal-blog]

self para ❝ M A S K S ;

THE CARNIVAL ; ------ CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT PURPOSES

the inside look of kim jacob

( @minimalistkrp )

❝ : | carnival time was a time for people to relax, and get away from life’s troubles even if it was just for a day. the masquerade was another popular event, a time for anonymity. a time when you could hide behind a facade that wasn’t your own, and not have to worry about the judgement of others. for jacob the many faces he had were two. the before, and the after. 

the before was a simple time for him. a time where he was considered a normal in this world. a time when it was easy to fit in with the other’s without having to be seen as a crazy psychopath he is today.

the before, he remembers lazy spring days, and quiet summers. he remembers the lack of being able to make friends due to him not able to stay in one place based on the constantly moving from country to country. he indulges himself in books of all kinds, letting his imagination take charge of how he spent his days. he was always a lover of learning new things. history was intriguing to know things of the past, and seeing how it paved its way to our future. school was actually more important to him than anything else because that was all he had when he was younger. 

the before when his father picked up on his antics using jacob as a guinea pig in some ways. finding that the younger was a quick learning he would teach jacob different things that you wouldn’t dare to show your child at such a young age. by the time he was merely a pre-teen he was learning to cook meth, and different drugs to sell for his father. brainwashed, as the older male planted things in his head making him believe he was what he actually wasn’t. forcing him to take on his homicidical ways. he would make jacob complete task whether it was as simple as delievering parcel or complex as going out into the field for a killing spree. it was the before that had him wishing for his own death. 

it was the before -- his father, that became the aftermath, or what is known as the after.

it was the after that became what jacob is today. insanity was what pushed him over the edge, and he succumbed to everything it had to offer. he remembers, it was the first time getting a taste of what he would grow to love more than anything blood. he painted the walls of the large mansion he once called his home with bouts of red. a beautiful color it was. laughter would emit through the house only drown by the sounds of screams of fear. death was a smell that lingered as the kim household grew to an erie silence. it was at that time he broke down completely. he became whom his father wanted to be. the joker would certainly be proud. he tells jacob that remembering is a dangerous thing. that would be a saying that would haunt him until the day he is finally put out of his misery.

a psychopath, a cynical and sadist person that needed  to be confined within four walls. this was his mask, and how he would be shown to the on-goers. as he looks out to the people who are hidden behind colorful elegance, he was the only one amongst the crowd who allude a dark presence.  

[fleuralette]

Carnival- Masks @minimalistkrp​

Masquerade parties? What were the point of them? More importantly, why was Eunseong being invited to one now? Halloween, sure, they were great, but now it didn’t even make much sense. To her, it seemed like whoever was hosting it was using it as a way to get laid and wasted with some degree of anonymity. A sigh escaped her lips as she contemplated what to do.

\What made these parties different from everyday life though? Everyone has secrets; no one is completely open to the public, and someone is a fool if they think the world is like that. These parties don physical masks on top of the mental mask everyone wears on a daily basis. 

However, for Eunseong, that mental mask bled into what was the truth. Yes, it’s used to hide her secrets- her origins, her strengths, but this life had become integrated in her so much. She prefers the name Eunseong to her name from before; she prefers this freedom to what she had before. Although life is repetitive and mundane, she now sees the sky- never to be confined by four walls again. This is what she accepts as her truth. Victoria Crassus died on her 10th birthday and Chae Eunseong was born a few years later. 

Though was it ever that simple? How could she just toss them aside, the ones who cared for her when she could do nothing for herself, her family by blood. How could she not think about what happened to them when she ‘died?’ Were they dead, were they alive? It was a question she knew that her analytical mind wouldn’t be likely to solve. There are days when these realizations would haunt her, worrying about her mother, her brother. But then she remembers what her father would be doing to her if she were alive and well and in his care- locked away to learn the arts of the Goddess to bring him good fortune. Then she seemed to be alright until her mother or her brother came into her mind again. 

A never ending cycle of being content and feeling guilty.

Regardless, for now she had a decision to make. Wear the physical mask to the party or stay home, snuggled in a blanket, with a hot cup of tea, with a book in hand. Oh who was she kidding? She wasn’t a party girl. Sending a short text to the friend that invited her, Chae Eunseong, grabbed the book on her chair, Fumiko Enchi’s Masks, and it would be what she would finish while the party carried on without her.