#minervaparadizo

[laeliana]

Artemis: so, you see, that's where the trouble began. That smile. That damn smile.

[laeliana]

Fools. Desperation is when you're scratching the archive of the now defunct section of AF Confidential. And you STILL find none.

I NEED MORE ARTEMIS/MINERVA PLS

me, staring down ao3: ok i’m desperate for fic about this pairing but like… how desperate

[die-anne-officialll]

Some Artemis Fowl stuff. Also why do people dislike Minerva???? • • #artemisfowl #minervaparadizo #julietbutler

[idontspeaktaiwanese-archived]

+3

mybodyisahumanisttemple

corporal-lili-frond

minerva-paradizo

"Well, hello!" The warlock smiled cheerily at the newcomer.

[artemis-fowl-blog]

Bonjour Artemis, mon ami. How have you been? It's been a while no?

Minerva Paradizo. Indeed, it has been a while. I trust you are well?

[laeliana]

Look at those smol genii idiots ❤️❤️❤️

look guys!!!! asshole nerd battle.

[laeliana]

Butler: I'm sorry to impose, Artemis, but you really should start exercising...

Artemis: No.

Butler: Last week you were pale as death for carrying those five books.

Artemis: Those were tomes of considerable weight, and no.

Butler: The week before you almost fainted after running down the stairs because you believed you heard the twins crying.

Artemis: It was the stress, still no. I simply have no time for that.

Butler, grinning: You know that Minerva does half an our of pilates every day, right?

Artemis: WHAT? Sign me in for one hour, what are you waiting for?

[laeliana]

The reasons why I think Minerva and Butler's relationship is a really nice one.

Minerva is down a bodyguard still when Artemis returns from Hybras, and once the "back in the same dimension :)"-goodwill ebbs, I know she was posting these "nice guys finish last"-style memes on a vent burner socmed account about not being able to poach Europe's most-in-demand-teenage-genius-babysitter

[laeliana]

Sooo here is what you're all waiting for! @iesnoth 's art for the 9th chapter of Fools' Paradise. Because why not, for my first commission ever why shouldn't I pick the meme scene of zero relevance to the plot?

And, since I love see ing how art is created: here is the flats version:

Here the final sketch, with the edits I requested:

And here the first sketch, based upon my description of the scene:

Thank you again to iesnoth for this masterpierce that brought my Artemis and Minerva to life, it has been an honour to commission the author of @af-answers

You can read the chapter here:

[laeliana]

*Minerva, reading Argon's notes*

"Insulin shock therapy? Insulin shock therapy?! I'm gonna fucking tarnish his career forever, destroy every inch of fame he has..."

Holly: "Minerva..."

"...gourge his eyes out, claw off his throat..."

Holly: "Minerva..."

"...carve his heart out of his chest..."

*Holly typing as fast as she can to Argon to stay away from the crazy Mud Girl if he cares for his life*

"...and then tell him to USE HIS FUCKING INSULIN SHOCK NOW, BITCH!"

Or: Holly getting a taste of the psycho, homicidal, "touch-Artemis-and-you-DIE" Minerva she's gonna learn to love and, most of all, fear.

[laeliana]

Thanks to some MINNIE Mouse character.

How she must have hated it.

(from a nice chat with @kai-atlantis )

[laeliana]

So this is the fist time someone does a fanart out of my drawings! I feel so damn honoured right now, thank you thank you thank you she's beautiful (Artemis stands no chance XD)

Did this art piece, inspired by a friend's fanart of the same character! She's brilliant!

Original art here: https://www.tumblr.com/laeliana/771372563974782976/in-hindsight-there-should-have-been-no-surprise

[laeliana]

Trouble: "Ok, question time: who's scarier, Artemis or Minerva?"

Artemis: "Minerva."

Holly: "Minerva."

Butler: "Minerva."

Foaly: "Minerva."

N°1: "Minerva."

Qwan: "Minerva."

Mulch: "D'Arvit, are you even asking? Minerva."

Minerva: "Well, etiquette says I shouldn't vote for myself, but..."

Trouble, sightly taken aback: "Ok, but what has she ever done? Does she carry bombs in her pockets?"

Minerva: "None that I know of."

Trouble: "Has she killed someone?"

Minerva: "Not personally, no."

Trouble: "Does she plan to take over the world?"

Minerva: "Ask me again in three months."

Trouble: "Then what...?"

Foaly: "Well, she's got six degrees."

Trouble: "So does Fowl. And then?"

Artemis, grinning: "None in Legal Studies, I'm afraid."

Trouble, finally understanding, horrified: "D'Arvit... she's a lawyer."

[laeliana]

Excerpt from chapter 12

“Butler, have you by any chance seen Artemis?”

The bodyguard looked up from the camera he was dismantling. It was, Minerva knew, the one pointed at the door of Artemis’ bedroom. It had started glitching the night before. In case anyone was wondering if it was a coincidence, the answer is no. In case anyone was wondering what had happened, they’d better remember that it was Artemis who had designed Fowl Manor's security system.

“Have you tried in the music room? I think he was headed there about forty-five minutes ago, after leaving his father’s study.”

“Thank you,” nodded Minerva, leaving Butler to his work. Her apparent calm only lasted until she was sure she was out of earshot. She’d worn comfortable shoes today, so she took the steps two at once until she was standing in front of the padded door. The music room had – obviously – been soundproofed, but by pressing her ear against the wood she still managed to hear enough.

Etude IX from Schumann’s Études Symphoniques. Known for their difficulty rather than for their beauty. And Artemis was playing like a tidal wave. He was playing like a hurricane. He was playing like someone who plays to clear his mind of everything else.

And so Minerva knocked on the door. Twice. Thrice, and so on, in time with the notes. Of course, it was impossible to keep up with a piano with her knuckles. No one can. But that wasn’t her intention anyway, and when the notes suddenly died away, she knew she had succeeded.

Apparently, the Artemis that opened the door was all the same. He didn't show that distraught look he had had in the library that full moon night. But, for Minerva, a glance was more than enough to grasp the signs of uneasiness. The folds of the collar, as if he had fixed the tie again and again, without bothering to check the outcome; the sweat that shone along his raven hair and plastered the shirt to his shoulders; the way his mismatched eyes flickered towards the corners, avoiding her green ones.

[laeliana]

Artemis Fowl II Artemis Paradizo

[laeliana]

LOOK AT THEM! LOOK AT THEM! AAAAAAAAA 😍😍😍😍😍

(also tall Minerva let's goooo)

Silly very self-indulgent Artemis Fowl x figure skating drawing 👀 With, as @laeliana suggested, Artemis and Minerva as an ice dance couple ! (I know it makes no sense, it's alright, it's for the ✨vibes✨) The pose is inspired by my fellow Frenchies Evgenia Lopareva and Geoffrey Brissaud's free dance - first because, well, it slays and it's iconic, and second because I feel like it fits Artemis and Minerva's vibe pretty nicely 😈

The perspective and colours are SO wonky on this one, I'm a bit frustrated with Minerva because I feel like it's hard to recognise her without her signature glasses... but well, it was just something I scribbled during Europeans' Zamboni times in only a few hours, and I had a lot of fun, so I guess it's okay 🙂

Also FUCK YES NIINA PETROKINA EUROPEAN CHAMPION LET'S GOOOOOOO 👑🇪🇪😭