#mind you - stephen probably doesn't know who his family comes from

[cosmic-walkers]

okay im gonna get off of steve and tom wolf hall parallels but i can't get over the whole father parallel things.

the more i think about it, the more at least in the show the whole wolsey bastard situation probably pissed stephen off because he saw how dorthea was essentially treated the same way he was treated by his own father. wolsey probably reminded stephen of his own father, in a negative way. because he had to have known about it. he probably had such a high opinion of wolsey at first, and then saw how dorthea was hushed away like a nuisance, and again, that is what happened to stephen. it's like they were both punished for being born out of wedlock.

which is so funny because the contrast to thomas is that thomas also saw wolsey as his father, a father figure who saved him and whom he loved. one who would never hurt him, and actually gave him the chance to be well, him. they were both essentially 'sons' of wolsey, sons that he had brought up, both lowborn just like wolsey but they also had such different views. and stephen started to resent him, even if in secret. at least in the show - because historically wolsey and stephen were besties.

i know we don't really develop into stephen's mind, but we know his parental situation in the book is a sore spot for him and i *think* that context is left out of the show. but that would've been another awesome parallel between them.

now tho, if stephen and thomas were friends, and stephen saw how thomas treated his own bastard now that probably would've given thomas some points in his book--

[multi-fandom-agereg]

hihi!!! could i possibly request some regressor young neil (scott pilgrim) headcanons or a moodboard?? no pressure- the headcanon has just been on my mind hehe

- @beaistiny 🐝

🚀 Little!Young Neil HCS

🚀 | I can 100% do that! Thank you so much for requesting^^ love your content btw! I hope you enjoy:]

💙 : the type of baby to prefer naps over being awake when regressed. Don't get me wrong— he loves to play video games, watch every cartoon he can stumble onto and hang out with friends or family. However naps is something that keeps him calm literally 80 percent of the time. If he doesn't get his naps he will be a very cranky boy

💙 : his favorite little food(s) is anything involving ice cream or Mac and cheese. He highly prefers ice cream over Mac and cheese and everything else, but he isn't that picky. He gets what he can get, and he'll end up being neutral about it. If he were to hold a grudge about it; he'd forget about it within two hours

💙 : very very quiet around people. He's like the kid in your class who rarely talks at all. (Or socialize much in class). He's exactly like that most of the time. Just hand him a controller or a comic book and you won't even notice he's there.

💙 : is pretty liquid with his agere age and isn't sure what his age is. But all he knows is that he regresses younger than 10. Not much older than that. (I think hes either a infant or toddler regressor)

💙 : a very sweet baby. Will ask for cuddles from his babysitters and CGs whenever the opportunity is there. He will also follow them around while he's glued to his games. He will let you play his games, but only because he wants to watch and do commentary on your gameplay.

💙 : his little hobbies are mostly him napping, playing games or reading. But sometimes he will color for his friends or redraw scenes from his books.

💙 : I feel like when little he'd play animal crossing, red dead redemption and minecraft. He finds comfort in those games. When it comes to books the majority of it is comics. Such as manga or superheros (DC and Marvel)

💙 : steals his babysitters/caretakers shirts and or hoodies. You can't get them off of him because before you can, he's asleep. Sometimes he likes to tease about it when he's big because he knows nobody has the guts to wake him up. So he's pretty slick when it comes to getting what he wanted

💙 : doesn't have a permanent caregiver per say, but he looks up to Stephen Stills alot more than other people. He see's him as an influence and father figure enough as it was. So he trusts him to be his caregiver

💙 : owns 'too many' agere gear for one person. But it's often than not that he's spoiled rotten. But he doesn't mind it

💙 : he's probably a bluey and paw patrol fan. Change my mind

[gellavonhamster]

random thoughts on Nightbreed after reading Cabal and watching the Cabal Cut of the movie:

okay, first of all, the Cabal cut is not the version of this movie that I would recommend to, like, a random person who just wants to casually enjoy some movie. It's made of bits of the theatrical cut and various unused footage/deleted scenes some of which don't even have any sound. It is, however, a much more accurate adaptation of the novella than the theatrical cut, not just in terms of what was included or omitted, but in spirit. It also is available on Youtube, by the way

I feel like the main difference between the book and the movie is that the movie presents a much kinder view of the "naturals" than the book. Decker's victims are paid more attention so that their horrifying deaths hit harder (that family at the beginning of the movie is really sweet), the old guy that Decker tries to extract information about the Nightbreed from clearly knows about them but doesn't want any harm to come to them, and, of course, there is one (1) good cop. I cannot help but think, cynically, that the latter is in order to make the movie appeal to a wider audience (not that I didn't like the character)

the character designs Fuck Severely - even more than I remembered from the theatrical cut, probably because the extended cut has even more background characters. I want films about fairies that make them look like that - weird and off-putting and sensual (Rachel is beautiful but strange, Peloquin and Shuna are not beautiful but they are sexy). The book's ambiguity of what some of them are supposed to look like is even better, especially in case of Baphomet - he doesn't even look the way a human mind can truly comprehend - but that is, obviously, not an option for cinema

Boone's story, allegorically, is about finally becoming a happier and more fulfilled person after coming to terms with your sexuality and surrounding yourself with people who really get you. Father Ashbery's story is about internalized homophobia/transphobia, and in the movie specifically, about not being able to overcome it, I guess? At the end of the book, he wants to find the Breed because "he wanted the [God's] touch again"; at the end of the film, he hates Baphomet and the Breed for transforming him. But then again, the movie avoids direct mentions of his queerness (I was pleasantly surprised by how overt it is in the book). Lori's story is about becoming an ally to your local queer community after your partner comes out and then realizing you might not be cishet after all

I don't remember the theatrical cut in all detail - it's been years since I watched it - but I can tell it definitely doesn't let Lori shine as much as the novella, much of which is told from her POV, and the extended cut. I didn't really like her in the theatrical cut, but now I'm like Lori my best friend Lori

the sex scenes in the novella are, hmm, pretty funny at times, but I've read some Stephen King and it could have always been worse

I think the blue guy with horns and the pale guy with tentacles (?) in his stomach are dating

also, pretty sure the theatrical cut didn't have Narcisse flirting with Ohnaka, hehe.

speaking of, I really liked the interactions between Narcisse and Lori in the book when they drive to break Boone out of the police station. In general, he's a fun character, annoying but in a loveable way.

Peloquin is a less prominent character in the book, and iirc he doesn't interact with Lori at all, while in the movie he kind of threateningly flirts with her several times. I wonder if that, like adding the good cop and making the theatrical cut more of a slasher movie, is part of making the movie follow a more traditional pattern, in a way. Here's a heroine and a man she loves and here's another guy who's not quite a love interest for her but lowkey a possibility of one. Which is interesting considering the whole queer allegory and that Peloquin was the one who bit Boone

I love the scene in the book where Babette lets Lori see her secret hideaway and there's a handmade doll and her collection of stones and other children's treasures 🥺 I think her animal form is the only case where the book description ("a wild cat of some kind, perhaps, but that the skin resembled deer hide rather than fur") is less weird that her movie appearance. If I was Lori, I would've probably been scared to pick that creature up.

might look up some supplemental materials that provide more information about the lore/the characters later - this is such a fascinating universe, and while the book reads like a complete thing, the movie feels like just the tip of the iceberg.

[laurarolla]

This didn't take very long at all. I don't know how long I was expecting it to take, but there was certainly enough time for the story they were trying to tell. Shadows of Rose is a wonderful final note on the theme that most strongly runs through the Ethan Winters storyline: familial trauma. Spoilers after the break but I'm maybe a bit proud of this post so if you don't mind those, please read on.

Quick comment on mechanics: The new powers are nice to use, and the ability to freeze the very wiggly enemies of a modern Resident Evil game in place is very satisfying. There's just enough combat here, but maybe a tad bit too much stealth. The section that basically feels like "oh, people like those Weeping Angel things from Doctor Who, let's do that" felt more annoying than scary or tense to me. The final boss is satisfying and does leave me wondering what a full Resident Evil game with those kind of powers would actually feel like, but it's probably best to keep it contained. I can definitely see a future where RE9 turns into the next RE6 for the franchise, and I'm sure Capcom wants to avoid that outcome.

Resident Evil 7 centered on the horror associated with a tragedy involving a family and an abused child. The worst events of the story were sparked by the mistreatment of Eveline and the deception of Mia, leading to a tragic outcome for the Baker Family. The irony of the situation is that Eveline could have actually had a family who loved her, but because she wanted Mia specifically as her family, she destroyed the Bakers and, with them, any real chance at happiness for herself.

In RE 8, we learn how Eveline was created originally as a vessel for Miranda's dead child Eva. When it turns out Eveline isn't good enough for her, Miranda seeks to steal away Rose for the same purpose. The tragedy is expanded through the Lords, who Miranda treats as her "children," from the sycophantic Moreau, to the lonely Bienviento, to the rebellious Heisenburg. Even Dimitrescu is essentially following in the footsteps of her "Mother Miranda," kidnapping people to create new children for herself. I am left to wonder sometimes if Eveline isn't actually the remains of Eva, fully aware of the monster her mother truly was and desperately seeking a family far better than her own. That idea drifts pretty far into MatPat territory, so I doubt it.

Ethan exists in stark contrast to Miranda, even though his goal is the same as hers in the most basic sense. He's eager to be present in Rose's life, but he doesn't want to control it. His sacrifice is an acceptance of something Miranda could never understand: our children are not our property. They are people, and we have a responsibility to them. Eva was treated as an end goal, something Miranda sought to possess. Eveline was literally made into a weapon, her humanity and childhood only seen as a shield by her abusers.

Rose was seen and treated as a human being by her family. Her mom, her dad, and her godfather of sorts Chris all did the best they could for her, but the world mistreated her for being different. She suffered mistreatment and abuse, one of the dollhouse scenes clearly evoking the struggles of "Carrie" from the classic Stephen King story. However, despite her fears to the contrary, Rose had people who loved her and who anchored her. Her power was potentially just as terrifying as Carrie's, but she had people who truly cared. She didn't need to burn down the village to feel the warmth. That didn't negate the pain she felt, but it gave her the chance to eventually examine her potential, and choose her own path.

Her journey through the collective memory of the megamycete allowed her to finally come to terms with everything, as well as to put the origin of all this generational trauma to rest once and for all. Shadows of Rose is a triumphant ending to Resident Evil's best story, and I can't recommend it enough.

[viennawaits4youx]

Book recommendations for finding yourself

Hi, so, you feel like you might be queer but you don't know how to feel about it or want to get used to the thought by reading some nice books? Then here's the list for you! Most of these are YA books to give you an easy and gentle start to your queer reading journey.

"Heartstopper" by Alice Oseman

"Heartstopper" is a webcomic originally published for free (it can still be read on Webtoon for example) by Alice Oseman which has been adapted into several books and a TV show. The main character, Charlie, is a British teenager who deals with bullying at his school because of his sexuality and develops a crush on the popular Rugby player Nick. It is for the main part a very easy-going and cute story that a lot of teenagers should be able to relate to. It is also really refreshing to read a story that does not revolve around the main character coming out and that doesn't have to try too hard to have a very diverse cast of characters. Alice Oseman's other books can also be recommended but Heartstopper is definitely a good place to start.

"Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe" by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

A coming-of-age story about two Mexican-American boys in Texas in the 80s who discover themselves in their growing friendship and affection towards each other. While I did not enjoy the novel personally I do think it is a nice story that paints a good picture of what a growing relationship between two teenagers can be like.

"Last Night at the Telegraph Club" by Malinda Lo

This novel, set in San Fransisco in the 50s, deals with the complicated life of Lily Hu who tries to explore her queer identity with her classmate Kathleen Miller at the lesbian club Telegraph Club in Chinatown while also trying to protect her Chinese family from social damnation. The content of this novel can at times be nerve-wrecking and almost scary but it is still very sweet and gives an understanding of what the lives of past queer generations were like. While it is definitely not as easy-going as Heartstopper, the characters are still relatable and offer insight into the mind of a growing queer woman. I myself rated the book 5 stars and want to reread it as soon as possible.

"The Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky

"The Perks of Being a Wallflower" is a classic English class book and many people have probably already watched the movie but the book is still worth looking into as it goes a bit more in depth on a few topics. The main character of this novel, Charlie, is starting high school in the early 90s after a tough last year in middle school and finds new friends in Sam and Patrick, he writes all of this in letters to a "Dear Friend." While Charlie himself is not queer, Patrick is and his character can show readers the consequences of not being allowed to live your identity out loud. There are a few CWs for this book so be aware: drug abuse, suicide, sexual assault, domestic violence, pedophilia, incest.

[helenofblackthorns]

ooo to add onto this, I feel like this whole situation become so so much more interesting & complex when you read it with the knowledge gained from the infernal devices. because by the time city of heavenly fire is published, it's very very clear that Jace is Tessa's descendant; the family tree literally spells it out for you. TID's main plot is all tied up in Tessa's weird ancestry, ultimately being revealed that she is the daughter of an unblessed Shadowhunter & the greatest of all Eidolon demon and by being her descendant, Jace is their descendant too. the mortal instruments works best when you're aware of the irony that Jace really did have demon blood all along, and that was intentional fairly early on (Tessa first appears in at the end City of Glass and is clearly there talking to Magnus bc one of her descendants just appeared out of thin air lol).

I definitely have my critiques with how Jonathan & his demon blood was handled at times but also CC does hint towards the flaws of how the characters view Jonathan & I know I forget that sometimes lol. like the second half of tmi, where we see the most of Jonathan, was directly juxtaposed with the infernal devices when it was being published. there's an obvious parallel between Tessa and Jonathan, as they're both the product of child experimentation combining angel and demon blood in order to create a new species of people, but Tessa very decidedly not evil because she wasn't raised by a egotistical manipulator who wanted her to be. multiple times are we showed both Jocelyn and Valentine having biases about Jonathan that aren't actually found on anything, although with Valentine these tend to come from extra content (theres a mini comic & Jonathan's "fun fact" in the flower book comes to mind too). I do wish there was a little more within the actual series tho tbh.

as for Jace reclaiming the name Herondale, I think it's just that. Valentine raised him to be anyone, and thus no one, a changeling (Tessa parallel??). his name wasn't given to him, but someone else, and he grew up living someone else life. as far as anyone was concerned, Valentine especially, there was no baby Herondale. To me, by choosing the name Herondale, Jace defies Valentine and all his plans by reaffirming he was someone before he tried to erase him. Valentine told him who he was, who he should be by constantly robbing Jace of what he had, and the very first thing he took was Stephen and Celine, and their parents (directly or indirectly). Jace can't hate them or love them, because he never knew them. and if the Herondales die without him, then it just another thing Valentine stole from him.

like idk to me, it's less about whether or not Jace had a relationship with Stephen (or any Herondale) that justifies him continuing on the family name, because he doesn't. but by being a Herondale, he survives Valentine and everything he did. everything Valentine did was meaningless in the end — he didn't need to do it! circling back to Tessa, if Valentine wanted a shadowhunter with demon blood that badly, he had one standing right next to him willing to do whatever he wanted! nobody asked him to start sacrificing sons to the cause of creating a better world in his image.

(side note, I imagine the reason he doesn't consider the Montclaire name is because it's probably already been reclaimed by the Clave or has other members still continuing it. Herondale was still being used by Imogen up until her death in City of Ashes so it dying out is a very recent development)

it's 2am this might have stopped being coherent ages ago but like also idk if I read that as Jace saying people can't change tbh. to me he's saying that names in and of themselves don't really change anything, like Jonathan dying his hair black didn't change anything either. a name is just a name, and Herondale was supposed to be his. something could also be said on how it parallels Clary too because Jocelyn spent her own life pretending she was Clary Fray, a normal mundane girl, but she wasn't. Valentine would have wanted her to be Clary Morgenstern, but she wasn't that either.

My firmest TSC take will always be that Jace should have gone by Lightwood in the end. I get that him being a Herondale makes sense in the grand scheme of the TSC universe (him, Will, James, Kit, and Edmund are all birds of a feather), but his personal arc is far more dependent on the family who raised him. Learning about his biological parents is of course important to him, but calling himself a Herondale doesn't actually feel like a resolution to his identity crisis. TMI is all about rejecting the hatred handed down from previous generations, which is why neither Clary nor Jace identify as Morgensterns. While Stephen was nowhere near as bad as Valentine, he also did even less to shape Jace into his adult self. Robert and Maryse on the other hand actually raised him for half his life, and Alec Isabelle and Max grew up alongside him as his siblings. He's a Lightwood in every way that matters, I don't get why Jace (in-universe) would choose to identify himself as a Herondale when there's nothing tying him to that family but blood spilled before he was born.

Anyways, I'm a Jace Lightwood truther for life, thank you for coming to my tedtalk

[reginaaxxwrites]

Until I Found You (Sirius Orion Black)

So, I was listening to this song that I just found on Tiktok. And whilst I was listening to it, I thought of Sirius. The song is called "Until I Found You" by Stephen Sanchez. You should listen to it, guys. It made me feel sad because it made me realize that these fictional characters will never come to life and forever live inside my mind.

*****

Sirius Orion Black x Fem!Reader

*****

It was late at night, and it was snowing outside the manor. It's Christmas Holiday that's why James and I were home. I couldn't sleep due to the excitement I was feeling. Christmas Holidays are my favorite holiday season. Not because I get to receive gifts from my family and friends. But it was because of our tradition to spend the rest of the day together.

This was special to me because our parents always work in the Ministry and they are barely home, leaving me and James alone. But since we started going to Hogwarts, it was a little less lonely to be left at the manor all the time.

I could wake James up so I may have some company. We can probably go to the kitchen so we could make hot chocolate like we always do. But it made me think that we weren't kids anymore. James is almost in his seventh year. Leaving me alone when he starts to graduate next school year.

I brushed off the sad feeling and went closer to sit on my huge window sill. I look up into the dark sky as I watch the snowflakes fall off the sky. Then suddenly someone caught my eye as I look down at the ground.

He was quite familiar so I opened my window to take a closer look. I was surprised when I saw him. His face. His figure standing in front of our doorstep, he looks hesitant to knock on our door. But what was he doing here? Wasn't he supposed to be home with his parents?

He looks cold. Well, who wouldn't be? It was late at night and it was snowing. Merlin's beard, I can't let him freeze to death.

Instead of calling out his name from here, I decided to open the doorstep for him. Besides, James would be delighted to see him. Even mum and dad would be.

I grabbed my coat and went downstairs. Without any hesitation, I opened the door. And there he was... He's handsome face with his hair that's quite long but it looked so good at him. He was shaking so I throw him James' coat that I went to get earlier in our coat closet near the stairs.

"Y/N--"

"Just go inside, Sirius. It's bloody snowing unless you want to freeze to death?" He grinned at me and then went inside. He followed me quietly into our sitting room. 

"I'm going to make some hot chocolate and wake James to--"

"Don't!" I raised my eyebrows at him. He cleared his throat before he went to speak again. "It's late, isn't it? I don't want to bother James as much as I already bothered you."

"You aren't a bother. You are my brother's best friend. And as much as I hate to admit it, you're pretty much part of the family." He smiled at my words and shook his head.

"Family... I wouldn't go that far." I saw the bitter look on his face. I remembered that Sirius isn't exactly on good terms with his parents. 

"Do you... Do you want to talk about it? I'll just make us some hot chocolate." I couldn't help but feel bad for him. He seems fine every time we see each other in the corridors even in the Gryffindor Common Room. 

He smiled and nodded as his response. He sat on one of the sofas whilst I went to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate. When I return to the sitting room, he's eyes were closed. I placed the tray on the coffee table and sat beside him. I shake him a bit to wake him up.

"Sorry." He opened his eyes. I gave him the mug, and he took it from me and drank it. "You'd make an excellent wife." 

I rolled my eyes at him as I drink my hot chocolate. I waited for him to speak. I didn't want to pry if he doesn't want to talk about it.

"I ran away from home. It wasn't even my home in the first place. I didn't know where to go but... I thought of James. I thought of you. So... here I am." There was sadness in his voice. I couldn't find words to comfort him, so I reached out for his hand and held them.

"You should stay here, Sirius. James, mum, and dad would love to have you here. You're quite annoying--just imagining you and my brother together living in here would be hell for me. But... I guess I wouldn't mind." I tried to smile at him.

"I can't..."

"And why is that?"

"I do not belong in here. Mr. and Mrs. Potter wouldn't like to have me here--"

"Are you mad? I just told you that mum and dad wouldn't mind." He wasn't still convinced so I told him to stay for the night and see it for himself.

"I am not sleeping in your room." He protested, but before saying another word, I took his wrist and dragged him into my bedchamber.

"Don't be such a wuss, Black. Besides, you wouldn't do such unpleasant things to me. You wouldn't want to get yourself killed, wouldn't you?" I teased him. I saw him roll his eyes me then followed me inside my room.

"I can sleep on the floor." He was pointing to the floor beside my bed.

"It's cold. Sleep beside me." I patted my mattress. He was quite amused by me. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Are you sure you're not making a move on me? I mean, I wouldn't mind except James is going to kill me." He was smirking once again. He's back.

"Shut it. Just like you said, James is going to kill you if you do." I rolled my eyes and watched him lay beside me before turning off the lamp beside me.

I placed my pillow between us to avoid any physical contact. I turned to face him and saw that he was already looking at me.

"Goodnight, Sirius." I gave him a soft smile before closing my eyes as I drift off to sleep.

Sirius's POV

She bid me goodnight before closing her eyes. She looks like an angel when she sleeps. She looks peaceful and merlin, if she wasn't James's little sister--I would ask her out. She drives me insane. 

Before running away from home, all I could think of...was her. I wanted to see her. She's my very being. I didn't know I would fall in love this hard. I went with a lot of girls. I flirt with them non-stop. But no one made me feel this way as she does.

I couldn't sleep. All I can do was look at her beautiful face. I made sure she was in a deep slumber when I reached out to touch her face and caress it, softly. Unknowingly, my lips formed a soft smile.

"Goodnight, Y/N." 

Reader's POV

I hugged my pillow tightly as I inhaled on it. But it was weird when I felt that my pillow was warm. My pillows in the morning were usually cold...and fluffy. This isn't fluffed or soft. Why does my pillow feel like it did some training to get muscular?

I slowly opened my eyes to see a nearly bare chest in front of me. I felt my pillow move and saw that my head was on top of his arm. I moved my head and saw his jaw clenched a bit, his adam's apple moved. He was sleeping, comfortably. 

Merlin... Why is he so handsome? Even when he sleeps, he is still so damn attractive. I could feel my cheeks warm as I look at him like he is the most beautiful painting I see every time I go to museums.

I brushed off my thoughts because I need to get up before James catch us. Especially, he didn't know that his best friend is here sleeping in my bedchamber. I turned around to move so I could get up. But a strong arm grabbed my waist and held me tightly. I could feel his warm chest behind my back. His breathing sent me shivers in my body. His soft lips are so close to my nape.

I held my breath and a part of me does not want to get out of his embrace. I wanted to stay for a while. Praying that neither James nor my parents would enter my bedchamber.

But it was Christmas Eve. They would wonder why I haven't woken up early because it was always me who woke them up. Seeing, the clock, it was 7:30 in the morning. 

Shit. I was supposed to wake them up an hour ago. Oh no...

My door was opened up, aggressively, and saw my brother, who had just woken up in a grumpy mood.

"Oi! Why the bloody hell--SIRIUS?!" If he could drop his jaw, he would've done it right now.

Sirius moved a bit, only to hold me close. Merlin, his best friend is about to kill him right now, on Christmas Eve, and he's still in his deep slumber.

Using my strength, I moved away from his embrace and finally stood up. That's when Sirius is finally waking up, slowly. I went to James to stop him from getting any closer to Sirius. 

"James, stop!" But he gently moved me away from him.

When Sirius finally came to his senses, he saw James and how furious he was. And poor him, because he hasn't got any idea why his best friend was furious. Since I moved away from him before he could realize that he was holding me tightly in his embrace.

"James?" He received a morning fist in his face from James.

"Bloody hell! What was that for?!" He wiped a small amount of blood on the side of his lips. 

"Why are you here in my sister's bedchamber? And most importantly, WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING BESIDE HER?!" James was shouting. I heard footsteps behind and turned around to see our parents.

"What is going on in here?" Dad asked. He was still sleepy but woken up when he saw Sirius was on my bed. "What is Black doing in here?"

My mum walked past James and went beside Sirius. She cast a worrying look on her face when she saw there was a cut on his lips. She held his face and examined him.

"Dear, what happened?" Mum asked him. James was surprised that mum ignored dad's question and the fact that Sirius was on my bed.

"It's nothing, Mrs. Potter. I felt like I deserved that punch." He looked at his best friend. James glared daggers at him and then turned to look at me. 

"Outside. Now!" He walked out of my room without looking at mum and Sirius, even dad who was standing in my doorway with crossed arms, I followed him.

We were in our manor's garden. It was hard to walk when the snow was thick to walk through. My brother stopped walking and looked at me. He was angry, really angry. I didn't speak and waited for him to go first.

"How long has this been going on? Tell me, now!"

"You are not my mother, to begin with, James. And for your information, nothing is going on between us!" I crossed my arms at him.

"Then why is he here?! I saw him cuddling you! My little sister--I swear if he did it with you--"

"I'm going to stop you right there. Sirius respects me because I'm your sister! And I think you should hear him out and ask him why he's here..." I stopped talking because I don't think that I am the right person to tell Sirius' situation right now. 

James didn't much talk after our argument but quietly went inside to see mum giving Sirius some milk and pancakes for breakfast. We have a house-elf, so it was quite surprising to see mum serving Sirius his breakfast.

James, beside me, was still angry. I could feel that he wants to murder his best friend. Dad was also glaring at Sirius. When our eyes met, he sent me a look, who needs saving. I only mouthed him 'sorry'. 

We went to the table and James quickly took the seat beside me. He made sure that I didn't sit beside or in front of Sirius.

"There you are, both of you. Y/N, dear, why haven't you woke us up earlier? It's unusual for you to sleep that long when you know it's Christmas Eve." Mum placed a plate of pancakes for me and James before sitting in front of me.

"I slept late last night," I answered then took a bite of my breakfast. Then mum turned her attention to Sirius beside her.

"So, Sirius..." Mum looked at him. You could see that he was nervous. I felt like I needed to apologize to him because I was the one who forced him to stay for the night and made him sleep beside me.

"Yes, ma'am?" He tried to keep his voice calm and looked at me. I gave him an assuring look but our eye contact was broken when James nudged me under the table using his thigh.

"James!" I hissed at him, not loud enough so that mum wouldn't mind us. Merlin, I was just making sure Sirius feels that they're not eating them alive with their eyes. Especially, dad, who had not stopped glaring at him.

"When did you arrive here? My children haven't told me anything that you're coming here--before Christmas day! Surely, your mother is okay with you here?"

He was quiet for a moment before he answers mum's questions. I continued to eat as they waited for his answer. 

"I... I, uh, ran away from home..." He awkwardly smiled. Mum's smile faded, and James and dad stopped glaring at him. They avoided Sirius's gaze and continue to eat.

Mum was emotional especially at her age, so she immediately hugged Sirius whilst wiping her tears. Sirius didn't know what to do, so he just patted mum's back, comforting her.

*****

We were preparing for a small party here in the manor. Whilst, James was still mad at his best friend because of the incident earlier, we all decided to let Sirius stay here until he graduates from Hogwarts.

I was staring in the mirror wearing a red party dress. The dress made my curves look visible. I almost couldn't breathe because mum tightened the corset earlier. Whilst I was trying to adjust my corset a little bit more, someone knocked on my door.

"Come in!" I called out. I saw Sirius opening the door, together with James. They were already wearing their party dress. By the looks of it, they already made up. I knew my brother has a soft spot for Sirius.

"Seems like you old married couple already work things out." I teased them as they rolled their eyes at me. They grinned at me, making me realize the situation I am about to endure for two years.

"Oh, shut up or I'm going to tell mum that you're trying to adjust your corset that she wanted to tighten so bad." 

"Don't make me hex you, James."

"You can't do that. You're not allowed to do magic." He widened his grin which made me annoyed. Sirius was enjoying our bickering.

Merlin, why's my brother in his sixth year yet acting like a first-year?

I stopped adjusting my corset and went to them. They lend their arms to me and looped mine into theirs. We made our way downstairs, laughing together. 

The party continued together with mum and dad's co-workers. James never left at my side which was annoying because he even wanted to come with me to the bathroom. I guess he never wants to leave me alone with Sirius.

But it doesn't matter anymore because Sirius was ambushed by our parents' co-workers as they were surprised to see a member of Black at the party.

"You should rescue him. He looks like he doesn't like the crowd surrounding him." I whispered to my brother. I saw a woman that looked in her early 20s approach, Sirius. She was beautiful. Her beautiful curly brunette hair. A type of woman that usually gets the guys falling to their knees.

The woman clings to his arm. This took him by surprise but smiled at the woman, genuinely. Something inside me ached and was stabbed by a sharp knife. He was clearly flirting with her. 

My smile faded as I remember the incident earlier. His arms were wrapped around me, his lips almost kissing the back of my neck.

But what did I expect? He is Sirius Black. A guy in my school almost wanted to date every girl and flirted with them continuously. Maybe, I am a fool for also falling for it. 

Maybe he didn't realize earlier that he was hugging me in his sleep. Maybe he was thinking of someone else. Maybe...

"Y/N, are you alright?" I came back to my senses when James nudged me. I looked at him and tried my best to smile.

"Yes... I'm tired, James. Can I turn in early?"

"Are you sure? It's almost Christmas. You never wanted to sleep early on this occasion. What's the matter?" James cast a worried look on his face. But I held his shoulder and assured him that I was alright.

"Well, if you say so... I'll take you upstairs."

"No need, brother. Goodnight." I tiptoed and kissed my brother's cheek before making my way through my bedchamber.

I closed the door behind me and leaned on it. I slowly sat on the floor, embracing my legs as I stop myself from crying. What a fool I am for believing that there was something behind his actions.

I have always fancied him since I was in my third year and he was in his fourth year. I never admitted it since I knew James wouldn't approve of it. So, I decided to date other guys just to forget that I have feelings for him. But it turns out that no matter how hard I try to date as I want... I never gave up on him. 

I never did...

I don't how long I was sitting but then I hear someone knock on the door behind me. I didn't answer to let them know that I was already sleeping.

"Y/N?" The moment I heard his voice, I leaned towards the door, waiting for him to continue. "Hey, I don't know if you're already sleeping. I could've greeted you with a Happy Christmas later in the morning but I feel like I needed to see you before I go to bed."

Sirius's POV

After escaping those who surrounded me earlier, I finally need to see her. It was almost midnight and I wanted to give her a present early before she goes to bed. So, I decided to find James. I knew that he didn't want to leave her sister's side.

"James." I reached for his shoulder. I saw that Y/N wasn't beside him. "Where is she?"

"She turned in early. Quite unusual. Unless...you did something to her--"

"Calm down, mate. You know I would never touch your sister." Even if I want her to be mine.

"You were cuddling her this morning. Don't you think I forgot about that?" He was still quite annoyed about the incident earlier. But it was understandable.

"I'll make it up to you by helping you together with Evans." I grinned at him as he rolled his eyes at me but I knew he was blushing deep inside. 

I was getting impatient and wanted the party to end as soon as possible. I can't sneak upstairs because these people are keeping me, James especially. So, when it finally ended, I didn't wait for my best friend and went upstairs. The next thing I know is that I was standing at her door.

Holding a small red velvet box, I put it in my trousers' pocket before knocking on her door. I don't know if she was sleeping or still awake but I couldn't wait.

"Y/N?" She didn't answer but I continued to talk anyway. Something tells me that she wasn't asleep yet. "Hey, I don't know if you're already sleeping. I could've greeted you with a Happy Christmas later in the morning but I feel like I needed to see you before I go to bed."

Taking a deep breath, I sat on the floor and leaned my back on the door.

"Happy Christmas, Y/N. It's funny how I wanted this holiday is to spend with you, alone... That would be a good present for this year, don't you think? And I am sorry about this morning. I shouldn't hold you like that when I know that it was one-sided all along but--" I didn't get the chance to finish my words as I felt my back hitting a hardwood floor.

Reader's POV

So, he did know that he was cuddling me this morning. I stood up, opening the door for him when his back started to hit the floor.

"Shit. I'm sorry. Are you okay?" I kneeled as he was looking me upside down. He gave me an annoying grin. "Too bad, I was hoping you hit your head hard that you wouldn't be able to remember anything."

He stood up and fixed himself before lending his hand to me to take it--which I took as he helped me to stand up.

"You're still awake." 

"That's because you were loud..."

"I wasn't even that loud, love." He closed the door behind him. After that, he pulled me closer. My hands were on his chest whilst his hands were on my waist.

"What are you doing, Sirius? Get rid of me and stop calling me that." I was getting nervous. A part of me hated myself for opening the door to him. I was still quite mad about the scene earlier. He was bloody flirting with that woman.

So, I tried to pull away from him but he was too strong for me. Maybe it would be a nice idea if I hit his family gem, don't you think?

"You were nice to me last night. And now you want to get rid of me? Make up your mind, woman."

"That's because you're bloody annoying! You held me earlier then proceeds to flirt with a woman who's like three to four years older than you! I know you're a flirt--you're even known for it! Making girls cry after you got what you want for satisfying yourself." I clenched his cloth, not looking at him.

Why am I crying? 

"And now... I won't fall for your words. I'm sure you've told that to a couple of women, already. I'm not an idiot. I am not." He started to hold my wrists that were placed on his chest then he leaned down his forehead into my head.

"I know... You're not an idiot. You are Y/N Euphemia Potter. The girl that I really fell in love with. James knew about these feelings I have for you. But you know your brother. He didn't want me to get involved with you. So, I went out with a couple of girls just to be sure that I was only infatuated with you." He started to cup my face and slowly made me face him. He was wiping my tears using his thumb.

"But it wasn't just an infatuation. I was falling in love with you. Deeply. James told me that I didn't need to prove to him that I was serious about you. Because whatever your judge will be yours. That it will be your decision. Not mine nor his."

"Now, tell me. Would you give me a chance? I know that I am a jackass, an annoying piece of shit, an immature prat--whatever you want to call me." I laughed softly at his words as he did the same. "But I would give you everything that I have. I swore that I would not fall in love again unless it was you. This is how I am deeply madly in love with you. You don't know that there isn't a day that I can't stop thinking about you since I found you."

He slipped his arm to my waist while the other remained on my cheek. He went closer to my face, smelling a faint of sparkling wine in his breath.

"What would be your answer?"

"You do know that dad and James would hex you if you break my heart, right?" 

"I'm taking my chances, love. But it hurts me to think that I would hurt you." He gave his annoying puppy eyes.

"You were flirting earlier..." 

"Ah, jealous already? I was being nice but I wouldn't go that far." He placed a kiss on my nose which took me by surprise.

"Happy Christmas, Sirius. And this will be your present." Remembering his words earlier, I tiptoed and gave him a soft kiss on his lips. I was about to pull away as I meant the kiss to only last for two seconds. But he pulled me deeper. Kissing me like there's no tomorrow.

Once he pulled away, he reached for his pocket, revealing a small red velvet box. He opened it and saw a beautiful ring. It wasn't just any ring--it was designed with small-shaped stars.

"You're not proposing to me, are you?"

"Not yet. But don't worry I'm planning to. Maybe after you graduate from Hogwarts?" He winked at me then removed the ring from the box and placed it on my ring finger. "It suits you perfectly." Then he proceeds to kiss the back of my hand.

*****

Did I do good? I feel like I ended the story, badly. But still enjoy. I promise I'll make it up to you guys! Thank you for supporting me, especially those people who continuously keep reading my one-shot on Tumblr.

Peace out!

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

hello, val! how are you doing?

i just finished watching nwh, and it totally reminded me of all the loki rehabilitation fanfictions, more so, loki in training. anyhow, i am bewitched by stephen again (as if i am not already...) and was wondering about your opinions regarding his portrayal in the movie. it was a tad offensive, a tad dismissive but also amiable. he really had a solid point that was just brushed off.

Hi Venus! 😉

Oh I love, adore, worship, idolize and admire Stephen in NWH. He's so wonderful and... yeah, I'm going to stop there. I really like him in the movie, in case it wasn't clear 😜 And let me preface this by saying that I'm sorry this got so long!

Ideally they would have addressed why he was convinced the villains needed to go back but I understand NWH is a Spidey movie and not his. Still it's not entirely fair for him because it almost seems like he's being selfish or cruel (like Peter says to him at some point, "come on Strange, have a heart". Pete honey, my darling, he has the biggest heart in the MCU).

I get what Stephen wanted: there's a very real threat in those villains and he wants to send them back, keep in mind he doesn't know what happened to them or how they became villains, all he knows is they came barging in destroying things and quite possibly killing people. If they stay their actions will hurt many in his universe and who's responsibility is that? His, because he agreed to the spell. Stephen's focus is on the universe and the multiverse in direct contrast with Peter's concerns (which are his friends, family, those villains).

His lines "it's their fate" and "in the grand calculus of the multiverse their sacrifice means infinitely more than their lives" are a direct nod to IW: he's not only talking about those villains, he's referencing Stark and Natasha and all those who had to die so that most could live. This, if the movie had centered around him, would have addressed his guilt and self-doubt and remorse, but it was Spidey's movie so...

In a way, as he's saying those words to Peter he's also telling himself the same thing: "there was no other way, I did the right thing". (Oh and because Marvel doesn't seem to get it: just because Stephen is doubting himself it doesn't mean that what he did in Titan was wrong, it wasn't. You can feel guilty without actually being guilty, those two are different things!).

So no one can judge any of this by its outcome, you have to judge it by whatever information they had at the time: those villains came from another universe, they showed up destroying things and very likely killing people, they have no clue how they ended up as villains and Peter's belief in their inherent goodness was just that, a belief, a hope. What if he had been wrong? They were lucky only May died there, it could have gone really wrong.

So it's not like Stephen doesn't care about those villains, it's that his job is to protect the universe and given his guilt and remorse he needs to convince himself that what he did with Thanos was the right thing, otherwise the alternative is a hard pill to swallow, which is why I would have wanted them to make a point of showing Stephen's reaction to Peter healing the villains, surely that would have been slightly traumatizing for him (I can imagine the self-doubt "wait, if the kid found a way, maybe I could have as well...").

Another consequence of all this is Stephen's willingness to perform the spell. Clearly, it's wrong: brainwashing an entire planet because Peter's life is upside down is not reason enough to do it but Stephen is so sure of his abilities (and he probably feels he had let Spidey down) that he rushed to help - and if he hadn't been interrupted none of this would have happened. And before anyone comes at me, yes I know Stephen should have explained the spell before casting it.

This is another example of his hubris, something he needed to improve in MoM and, in a way, he did.

As for the rest, his short interactions with Wong were funny, he's still a drama queen (and that's always a good thing, I mean look at his entrance in the movie!), he raises his voice at Peter but catches himself in the act so he apologizes immediately, I'm sure he loved MJ's audacity ("I know a few magic words myself", lol she's awesome), he's so soft with Peter at first when he has to tell him he doesn't have the Time Stone, and of course the scene in the end with Peter was so lovely but I spoke about it here and this ask got long enough.

Oh and one more thing, the whole "do you remember the full-moon party at Kamar-Taj?"... there was no party, I'm sure of it. I will die on this hill, Stephen was messing with Wong.

[roswelldetails]

RNM 2x08 - Say It Ain't So

EPISODE SUMMARY:

JAMIE CLAYTON GUEST STARS — Despite promising Liz (Jeanine Mason) that he’ll take things easy with his new heart, Max (Nathan Dean) sets out to find Cameron after learning that she’s gone missing. Michael (Michael Vlamis) grows concerned about Maria (Heather Hemmens) after a surprising discovery about her family history leaves her vulnerable. Elsewhere, ready to move on, Alex (Tyler Blackburn) goes on a date with Forrest (guest star Christian Antidormi), and Rosa (Amber Midthunder) makes a decision about her future. Rachel Raimist directed the episode written by Eva McKenna & Christopher Hollier (#208). Original airdate 5/4/2020. 

DETAILS:

Rosa's secret identity:

"...Cousin Rosalinda from Arizona. My mom married a minor league baseball player, but when he got relocated to a team in Florida…"

"Okay, you know what, let's just go with, they're dead."

This is a Twilight reference.

Rosa about the Mean Girl's art in the cave:

"That reminds me of Stephen Powers before he sold out."

Stephen Powers is a former street artist who went commercial. Some examples of his older work here:

Other examples of his newer, more commercial work here:

By the way, speaking of the cave:

And this is some fabulous visual storytelling right here:

Max is working at the Wild Pony. Temporarily, of course.

"Turns out debt collectors don't care if you've been half dead in a glowing pod for a few months."

So much for the headcanon that Max "I've been driving the same car since high school and am a homeowner before 30" Evans is good with his money. 😆 Debt collectors don't show up that fast… not that I know from experience or anything.  😳 *backs slowly away*

Iris refers to the cave as the go to hang spot for all the artsy weirdos. So it isn't like it was specifically Rosa's cave/hidden spot.

It's the first time we've seen this particular cave other than in 2008 flashbacks.

Iris Sanchez & Rosa Ortecho. Flower, Mexican family name. 😭 The hint is there!

Also 👀 from:

The iris earned its name from the ancient Greek Goddess Iris, a messenger to the gods who was thought to use the rainbow as a bridge between heaven and earth...these flowers were named to honor the Rainbow Goddess and bring favor upon the earth.

Mimi made Maria take back the necklace.

"She said that it was too late for her and that I needed it more."

Michael has seen the necklace before, but he didn't know what the flower was when he fixed the clasp and returned it to her in 1x10.  It was 1x11 when they learned of the existence of the anti alien pollen. Michael reminds us:

"I know this flower.  Its pollen has a paralytic effect on alien abilities."

Once Maria takes it off, she can name every card Michael pulls from the deck.

Maria lists off a bunch of necklace facts from past episodes that fandom has previously noted...

Her powers were heightened when Michael had the necklace in 1x10. 

She wasn't wearing it when Noah invaded her at the gala.

And she wasn't wearing it at Woman As Warrior in 2x02 when she sensed that Isobel was pregnant.

"Kyle said you aren't an alien."

Fact. Kyle did say that.  It doesn't mean that it's a fact that Maria doesn't have alien DNA in her though.

Kyle determined that her blood doesn't carry the alien protein that's in the Pod Squad and Rosa. He is making an assumption that the protein is tied to being an alien.

He said he ran other tests, but the results would take longer to come in. 

Also, just a personal theory, what else do Rosa and the Pod Squad (and Noah) all have in common? They all spent significant time marinating in a pod full of goo. Rosa (10 years), Pod Squad (at least 50 years), Noah (60 years). Kyle has not studied any samples of alien biology from an alien who didn't spend time in pod goo. It's possible the protein is related to the pod goo, moreso than the alien biology. Again, just speculation on my part.

Maria confirms that her mom started getting sick when she was 18, just after she passed the necklace on to Maria.

"If this prevents you from having more episodes, it probably stops the neurodegeneration process too. It's not kryptonite, Maria. This is preventative medicine. Keep it on."

In 2x06 it was established that in addition to Sanders' place being a junkyard and a mechanic/auto shop, they also do tow truck service.  Now that comes into play again as Michael was hired to bring Cam's car back to Roswell for the investigation into her disappearance.  He brought it to the junk yard first though to give Max and Liz an hour to check the car for clues before the sheriff's department comes to collect it.

Max is smart too, in his own way. He quickly identified that "Agent Powell" was driving a rental car and that her gun wasn't government issue. 

However, it's only when he sees her tattoo (which Cam told him about in 1x07) that he confirms that she's actually Charlie Cameron!

(10 points to fandom!)

Max & Liz's conversation with Charlie is mostly just reminding us what we know about Charlie and Jenna's relationship. 

Liz indicates that Jenna had been looking for Charlie for months.  Charlie responds that she didn't want to be found (both things we learned in 2x04 through Cam's discussion with Jesse Manes.

Max indicates that Jenna thought that Charlie hated her, a call back to us first learning about Charlie and the matching tattoos in 1x07.

"I worked on a controversial project a while back. A lot of dangerous people want to know what I know."

(Again, stuff we learned in 2x04).

They learn through Cam's text history that she was looking for Jesse Manes (which we already knew, because...2x04).

"I'm just a guy standing in front of a tourist trap asking a history buff to shoot him with high velocity paint."

Tongue-in-cheek reference to the movie Notting Hill.

"So, you're cool playing war? Doesn't bring anything up?"

"Oh, yeah, my PTSD triggers are a little more complicated. Suffice to say, this war zone is the only place that my family actually got along when I was a kid."

"Yeah, some of my old platoon buddies actually play in leagues."

"I didn't know that you served."

"Yeah I wouldn't go bragging about it to a guy with a Purple Heart. I might have googled you."

New information… both that Forrest served, that he looked into Alex (which could be innocent OR sketchy…).

And of course this is the first open discussion about Alex's PTSD issues.

Cowboys versus aliens paintball… Alex is the cowboy, so Forrest must be the alien.

The call that interrupted Forrest's attempt to kiss Alex was from the hospital. Hence why Alex goes there to see Jesse.

"Look, if I had a little lucky charm that could stop people like Noah from messing with me, I would have that surgically implanted into my décolletage."

Have to admit, I wasn't sure what décolletage meant, so in case anyone else isn't familiar: 

"These abilities are a part of me. I'm not gonna just throw away the chance to learn about who I am. That make sense to you?"

"Yeah, actually, it does."

"You've gotten stronger this year, right?  Can you teach me to train? Learn how to control it all?"

"Look, it took a lot of practice before I could do anything without puking and guzzling acetone to kill the pain.  And you can't practice, because according to Kyle, every time you do it eats your brain."

"Look, I'll stop before it goes that far, okay? I know the signs. Besides, if you help me, maybe I can help you. There must be something that you want to know about your future."

"What about my past?"

Max meeting with Jesse at the Crashdown. This is super interesting because it's the first time Max has sat down, face to face, with a hostile human who knows he's an alien. 

"My uncle used to bring me here. That was back when it catered to a more civil clientele. People who actually respected the history of this town."

This is likely foreshadowing what's to come next week, based on the promo pics released.

Again, similar to the scene with Charlie at the junkyard, much of this exchange between Max and Jesse is just reminding us of stuff we learned in 1x04.

"The last time I saw her she came to me with questions about her sister.  And I told her that the people most interested in Charlie's device were a black ops group based out of Los Alamos. They're called Deep Sky. This is their logo. Paramilitary. And I told Jenna that what she was getting into was gonna be dangerous. But apparently she didn't listen.

Note: in case any of you are unaware, in Los Alamos there's a US DOE lab that has a long, sketchy history of weapons development.  Makes perfect since that it's where a paramilitary organization interested in Charlie's research would be based there.

The Deep Sky Logo

I compared this to a number of screenshots of alien symbols (like the ones we saw in Jim Valenti's letters in 1x12) and there were no matches.

However, fandom has already noted that the logo matches Trevor's ring in 2x06 (see that episode's details post for the photo).

"Charlie Cameron's mind is a unique specimen. Kind of like you. And there's always someone in the shadows waiting to crack those open."

"What did you do to Jenna?"

"I told her the truth. Which is more than you ever did. You're kind of a wolf in sheep's clothing, aren't you?"

"And what are you? Do you feel like a hero? All those people you tortured, all those people you killed. Turns out none of them were an enemy.  They were refugees. So you're not just a murderer, you're a failure."

"Yeah, I know. I am. But I tell you, something shifted in my brain when I had the stroke.  All the hate's gone out of me. All the fight. Caulfield is over and my son Flint has been reassigned. Look at me. I can barely walk."

Liz and Charlie in the car:

"Waitressing's really got to blow when you've grown a fully functioning heart muscle in a lab.  Or are you not the same Elizabeth Ortecho who co-authored a 2013 paper on cellular reprogramming? Some people build model trains; I do my homework.  Your boyfriend seems more like the train type."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"We've discovered new worlds and changed the course of mankind from a microscope. Should I go Netflix and chill with my boyfriend or stay in the lab, architecting the future?"

"No offense, but if it's true that you've been in prison and in hiding, it does not seem like you've seen much of the inside of a lab either."

"I went too far.  I thought I was building something with real value. The thing is, anything that has the potential to create real change, it scares people. And anything that scares people is inherently dangerous no matter what your intention is."

"You could start over. Get a new identity, work at a research university."

"I've done extraordinary things. Everything ordinary is ruined now."

More exposition that we already know as Max catches Charlie and Liz up on what he learns from Jesse.

"He said Cam is headed to Los Alamos to investigate a group called Deep Sky. Does that mean anything to you?"

"No. Let me reach out to some of my military contacts, do some recon. Give me a day, we'll go from there."

Liz and Michael, in the lab, on The Science:

"I'm looking for the sample of yellow pollen."

"The stuff I swept off the floor after throwing it at Noah? I don't know. I didn't see it while we were packing up."

"Well it was here a few months back.  Did I miss an experiment where it grew legs and a fondness for the outdoors?"

"Could have been accidentally thrown away. Sample was too oxidized to be of much use, and I've been trying to get my hands on fresh flowers, but it's impossible. I think they might be extinct. Why are you freaking out?"

"Because I have a math problem. There's only one flower in Maria's necklace, but there are two DeLuca women and apparently the flower is the key to preventing their illness. This is everything from the Caulfield drives and the experiments done on Maria's grandmother. A lot of it was lost in a lab fire in the '80s, but…"

"I'll take a look."

(Aside… 👀 Lab fire in the '80s. I have a feeling that's more foreshadowing.)

"I just want you to see if anything done could be undone. I don't want you to, like, Dr. Frankenstein it. The experiments were very bad."

"My days as an alien scientist are officially over."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"'Cause it's hard not to think about the far-reaching implications of this kind of research. You don't get sick on this planet. If I could figure out why, I could eradicate all illness."

"But you can't. Because that would expose us."

"Which I would obviously never do. It's over."

Arturo's text to Liz:

Have you seen our little mouse?

"Rosalinda" is late for her first shift.

Isobel and Maria go to Michael's trailer and Isobel shows Maria the newspaper clip of Michael's mom to try to trigger a vision.

"It's not working. And I don't feel great going through this stuff without Michael knowing."

"Why not? One day this palace might all be yours."

"It's not working.  I have a business to run, and you need to go Instagram something."

"Says the social media revitalizer. Listen, word to the wise, every time Max saw Liz in a skirt and tried not to pop a bulb, he wound up setting off a fire alarm. Everytime I push myself too hard, I miss time, or wind up accidentally realizing that my mom still thinks about her ex-boyfriend Rocco, like, in vivid detail."

"Okay, where are you going with this?"

"Effort doesn't equal control. So if you want to do this you're gonna have to embrace your inner ice queen and let it go."

"I'm not great at letting things go."

"Yeah, I know.  That's hard…"

Maria's vision:

Triggered by a t-shirt hanging in the trailer.

Louise is hanging laundry

Walt runs up to her and gives her a little windmill with her name on it. (Initially I thought her name was pressed or punched into the metal, but on second viewing, it looks like it might be puff paint or something similar.)

Walt runs off to find Nora and Louise goes back to hanging laundry.

After the vision Maria's nose starts bleeding.

Max goes after Charlie to stop her from turning herself in.

I wonder if his tire screeching action guy driving is supposed to be emphasizing to the audience that he's not being as cautious as he should be? 

Deep Sky said that if Charlie "...wasn't at Sutter's grain depot by 11pm, that they would torture (Cam) to death."

Charlie heard on the call:

A train rolling by

A demonic laugh

And somehow that's enough for Max to magically know exactly where Cam is.

Alex and Jesse at the hospital:

"Hey, they said that you mixed whiskey with your medications.  That's not like you."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I don't know. I mean, you're my father. I can't seem to shake you."

"Yeah. I failed."

"Yes. But in what way specifically?"

"Uncle Tripp. I let him down. I never could figure out what he needed of me. And tonight I went to the bunker.  And I keep trying to crack the code."

"Liz said that you spoke to Max Evans. She said that you were half decent to him. Is that what this is about?"

"One of them killed Tripp, you know."

"An alien? Yeah. Then he hunted them. He dragged them to a torture chamber. I'm not surprised one of them…" 

Jesse slams his cane.

"He was the best man I ever knew.

Jesse tries to stand and falls into Alex, then continues to walk away.

The location that Deep Sky is holding Cam looks like a rodeo or horse arena or racetrack with a big grandstand.

There are nearby train tracks, and a warehouse where a mechanic repairs old carnival rides.

As Max and Charlie are scoping out the area you can hear both sounds softly in the background.

The sniper was watching and shooting at them from the grandstand.

Charlie is shot in the leg.

"Let me go get her."

"No. Deep Sky wants me alive. Your brain is worth considerably less to them which means it'll be splattered all over the dirt."

(Oh the irony...confirming that Charlie doesn't know that Max is an alien.)

"If anything goes wrong, call Liz. No doctors."

Max does shoot the sniper!

And then uses his powers to knock out the power (and instantly feeling it in his heart when he starts to use his powers!!!!!!) which, as @angsty-aliens very eloquently pointed out, is absurd because there was a big red lever that would have done the same thing. *facepalm*

Cam on her kidnapping:

"The last thing I remember is this weird sound. It made the hairs on my arm stand up. And this bright light, and the pain in the back of my neck like you wouldn't believe."

Cam's burn is fractals.  Like Liz's burn from Max's powers in 1x03. Top is Liz's fresh burn in 1x03, bottom is Cam's not-so-fresh burn in 2x08. Keep in mind, we don't know how long Cam was missing for.

Rosa and Iris at the "art show".

"So you said you're from Roswell?"

"Oh, I was from Roswell.  I got out and went to art school as soon as I graduated. I work for an artist now. I help her run her gallery. Yeah, I used to want to be a painter, but then I realized I loved curating art way more than I ever loved making it."

👀 I wonder what this says about Rosa's internal motivation. If Iris is the life she wishes that she had, does she not want to be a painter? Or is that her internal insecurity rearing its head.  Like, she can't even dream about that possibility because it's what she really wants above all else.  Which is why Iris then motivates her to paint and prove to her inner self that she is an artist? 

Speaking of which, here's Rosa's painting from the episode. Mucho gracias to @rosaortecho for giffing it for me since it wasn't cap-able in a single shot.

Iris's assessment of Rosa's art:

"This piece is you outrunning your demons. This is amazing. That's what you have to do.  You have to capture them and rattle the cage.  This is art. This is what you're meant to do, Rosa!"

Rosa's hallucination starts to fall apart as they dance.  She starts coughing and having trouble breathing.

"Your star sign's just out of whack."

Play on lyrics from God of Wine by Third Eye Blind, which was heavily referenced in 1x02. 

The direct quote is "your star sign's out of whack" and the next lyric is "a fraudulent zodiac"

Which, of course, is what Rosa had written on her hand before she died in 2008 and is a reference to Ophiuchus, which was Noah's zodiac obsession.

And then Liz finds her overdosing in the cave. 

The coughing in Rosa's hallucination was from smoke inhalation.  Because while passed out she started a fire with her powers.

Feels like a good time to point out that it's the same cave that she died in back in 2008, and she would have died there again if Liz hadn't found her. 😭

At the hospital Rosa tells Liz that she wants to go to rehab, but she knows she can't since she can't control her powers. 

Liz gives her Maria's necklace to borrow since it will suppress her powers and allow her to go to rehab.

Alex and Forrest at the Wild Pony:

"I still have my dad's voice in my head telling me that being seen with a man in public is an embarrassment. To my name and my uniform."

"Well, there's nothing like a dad voice to mess up a perfectly good date."

"It's also just that...I mean, Roswell's so conservative. This bar is filled with cowboys. If you want to go someplace private…"

"Look, I like you. But I don't want to climb into somebody else's closet."

"I cannot tell you how badly I want to be done with this frickin' closet."

"But you're not. And that's okay. Really. Listen, if that voice in your head ever shuts up, give me a call. Because between you and me, making out with a hot guy in public is only made hotter when it pisses off all the bigots and homophobes."

Charlie took off and left a note for Jenna. According to Jenna it says she's gonna disappear again and not to look for her.

Arturo is taking Rosa to a rehab center that Kyle set her up with "a few hours away".

Max tells Liz "let's go home." So… did she move in with him??

Liz says no though.  She says she has to open the diner and cry alone.  But instead she goes to the secret lab.  

Both Max and Liz were evading the truth a little bit here.  Liz didn't tell Max that she wanted to go to the secret lab.  Max didn't tell Liz that his heart did wonk out after using his powers and he did overdo it going after Cam. Bad Echo!!

Liz goes back to packing the secret lab up initially, but then her eyes fall into the Caulfield folders, and she stops. 

She unpacks her stolen equipment (genetic sequencer?), puts on her lab coat, and sits down to start reading the file.

Isobel brings Michael beer as a peace offering, since she's coming to admit that she helped Maria trigger a vision.  She thinks Michael will be mad, but he isn't because he and Maria already worked it out.

So Isobel tells him about the vision and seeing Louise, and specifically about Walt giving Louise the windmill. 

Michael immediately reacts, goes to a shelf, and grabs a similar windmill.

Turns out Walt is Sanders.  He pulls up in his car and Michael immediately confronts Sanders.

"It was you. You're Walt. You're the little boy in the photo.  You knew my mother."

And Sanders nods.

10 more points to fandom.

Max goes to Charlie's hotel to confront her about turning herself in to Deep Sky.

The windmill in both scenes. Until I put this together I didn't think they were the same one (because Louise's name isn't on Michael's. But other details (like the word weight on one of the legs) are the same.

"You think Deep Sky needs to have Jenna by the throat to kill her? Okay, the only way that I can protect her is from the inside."

Then the "abduction scene" happens.

It mirrors what happened to Jenna in 2x04, only to Max and Charlie.

MUSIC:

1.  Hole "Celebrity Skin"

2.  Lukas Nelson & Promise Of The Real "Die Alone"

3.  Shelly Fairchild "Worry No More"

4.  Marc Danzeisen "Some Things Last Forever"

5.  Joey Sykes "Sign Of The Times"

6.  I AM ORFA "Like That Look"

7.  Danny Ayer "Set Us Free"

8.  Hamish Anderson "Trouble"

9.  OMC "How Bizarre"

10.  Muscadine Bloodline "Movin' On"

11.  Little May "Hide"

[im-a-goner-foryou]

Starker Valentine's Day 2019 for the prompt 'first I love you's ', this is also my first songfic so please go easy on me

Love

/lʌv/

Wise men say only fools rush in

Tony Stark doesn't do love. He's a mechanic, through and through-- he sees things as they are, for their practical uses, views the world through a rational lens, and love is something entirely illogical.

Love, as Tony had been taught all those years ago, is something that if he can't help but feel, at least shouldn't be expressed. To wear your emotions on your sleeve is to admit weakness, as Howard had said-- or rather slurred while waving off Tony's attempt at a goodnight hug in favour of pouring himself another glass of bourbon, and after much more similar occurrences the he eventually took his father's words to heart.

It takes a while for Tony to realise otherwise, to go from instinctively recoiling from the look of concern in Rhodey's eyes as he chides "go to sleep Tones, it's late" or a gentle caress of his head from Pepper, to slowly but surely welcoming those silent acts of love; and it takes longer before he begins to reciprocate. Even then he's hesitant, cautious as he takes his first steps and reverting back to his signature snark at the first sign of apathy, the possibility of being hurt.

Tony loves carefully.

But I can't help falling in love with you

Then he meets Peter Parker-- who loves so openly, so easily. And their differences should frighten Tony, yet inexplicably he finds himself drawn to this boy who's much too young to realise that while falling in love may be easy, love itself certainly isn't. It's... a nice change, being around someone so artlessly candid-- maybe, just maybe-- Tony hopes silently to himself, he won't have to hide behind his usual four walled defences this time against such genuine feelings.

Shall I stay?

The first time Peter raises his voice at him is to cry "if you even cared, you'd actually be here," and just like that Tony's taken back to all those years ago, in his MIT graduation gown and around the same age Peter is now; hand clutched tightly around his phone with Howard on the other end while he stood lonesome among celebrating families. That memory stings like a slap would, leaves Tony feeling almost raw-- and when he steps out of his armour there on the rooftop, he feels more vulnerable than he ever has been.

"I just wanted to be like you," the boy whispers quiet enough for his words to be almost blown away with the wind, and it's like a sucker punch to Tony's stomach.

"I wanted you to be better," Tony simply replies Peter-- and himself.

Would it be a sin

Tony feels the beginnings of a wave of butterflies erupting in his stomach as he watches the boy leave the Avengers compound, and he feels sick. Peter's hazel hair glints gold under the sunlight streaming through the panelled windows and curls sweetly around his ears; and Tony has to resist the sudden and overwhelming urge that overtakes him then to run his fingers through those silky locks.

If I can't help falling in love with you?

Peter is sixteen. Tony starts drinking himself to sleep once more, yet the bottles of liquor lying shattered around him and burning bitter at the back of his throat aren't enough to block out the yearning deep in him for the boy, to hold him close and keep him far away at the same time. Tony thinks of bright eyes that crinkle at the edges with laughter and beautiful chocolate-brown pupils, and then one day he just can't deny the feelings he harbours for his young protégé any longer.

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling so it goes

Peter always has been incredibly perceptive; it's likely he found out how Tony felt even before Tony himself. On his seventeenth birthday the man goes all out and is in one of the rare moments in his life grateful for the title 'billionare'-- he flies the both of them out to one of his favourite restaurants in Venice for a comfortable candlelit dinner by the canal; and when Peter dissolves into another one of that giggly laughter at something Tony said, the older man finds himself absolutely enthralled, unable to look away.

He's still staring at those pouty, rosy pink lips and wondering how they would feel against his, when he finds out only seconds later-- Peter makes the first move, leaning forward across their table to press their mouths together so painfully shy and sweet, and Tony--

Some things are meant to be

He kisses back, and feels the last of his fortifications crumble away at the happy little sigh Peter exhales into their joined mouths.

Take my hand, take my whole life too

For I can't help falling in love with you

Tony Stark soon learns about himself that he's really a hopeless fool for love, when it comes to a certain bright boy who easily keeps up with him in the workshop and challenges Tony with his brilliance every day, who reminds him to go to sleep early but also brings him hot chocolate during those particularly dark starless nights and kisses away his tears until they finally fall asleep tangled up together, who's also a dork when it comes to Star Wars and the Avengers, who has a heart filled to the brim and yet still manages to find the capacity, is unafraid to love some more.

It probably was never meant to last, the hurting eight-year-old in Tony reminds him.

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling so it goes

Some things are meant to be

"There was no other way," Stephen's parting words hang heavy in the still air; dimly Tony wishes the words were the ones disintegrating instead, his knees buckling underneath his weight even before he hears the soft whimper from behind him. No, no, no.

Not you, too.

Peter wastes his last few moments clutching at him desperately, and Tony just wants to cry because there's nothing he can do, and he's never felt so utterly helpless as he does in this moment. "I don't-- I don't know what's happening," the boy rasps, the usual bright undertones of his voice now longer present and only to be replaced with something raw and hurting; it's now does it finally occur to Tony that maybe he's not the only one who puts on a mask.

"I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go..." Peter begs almost childishly, his extreme youth so incredibly obvious now. Tony grips him by the waist, holds him close and cradles him through it, which is the least he can do-- the only thing he can do. The eerie golden light setting across this strange planet casts shadows on those beautiful eyes, swimming with tears as they look at Tony in a way only the boy could.

"I'm sorry," are the last words Peter whispers--why, why?-- before slipping away from Tony's arms and leaving behind a mere empty shell of a broken man.

Tony realises he's never said those three little words to Peter, even though their months together; he never gasped the significance of "I love you" until he thinks he'll never be able to say it.

Take my hand, take my whole life too

"I'm sorry," are the words that replay like a broken recorder in his dying mind, plauging him the most when Tony sits alone on that barren planet and ignores the warning signals from the spaceship that oxygen levels are running low. I'm sorry, too.

But with those oxygen-deprived hallucinations come memories too; of them both dancing in the corner of one of Tony's fancy fundraisers, the boy's arms clinging around his shoulders and head resting on his chest as they sway to the soft music in the background, of Peter falling asleep at the desk after working hard on a particularly difficult assignment and Tony draping a blanket over him, of late drives down the highway in a convertible so Peter's yells of joy fade away into the night, of waking up in the morning to the smell of coffee and the sight of Peter in a flowery pink apron bustling around the kitchen, and Tony walking up to him to whirl him around by a hand on his hip to kiss him soft and sweet.

Through his entire life, there's only one person that Tony's certain he's ever loved the most he could. And now Tony tries his best to bring him back.

It's a long arduous process for sure, but Tony after all, is a mechanic through and through. He fixes the spaceship to send him and Nebula to earth, and he defends it just like he always has-- he fights, mind clinging to thoughts of Peter; just in case he doesn't make it, he wants that endlessly loving gaze to be the last thing he sees.

They win in the end, and bring all the fallen back. Even as Tony stumbles weakly onto his feet he ignores the burning sharp pain at his side, heart racing, eyes already blurring with tears-- though despite them he still manages to catch sight of those chestnut brown wide eyes among the others, and he doesn't hesitate. Tony sprints towards and holds a weeping Peter close to his chest, clutching at him with the intention of never letting go; his heart aches with a feeling that he welcomes readily, croaks into the boy's ear.

"I love you." He fiercely kisses Peter; the boy sobs harder in his arms. "I love you," Tony finally expresses plainly, against the palm pressed reverently against his lips.

For I can't help falling in love with you

And Peter says it back, the way every single part of Tony knew he would. "I love you too."

Love, Tony Stark knows, is illogical. It hurts, and yet people still chase it so eagerly.

But love is worth it.

For I can't help falling in love with you

[abunchofbadchoices]

Michael's Song

HSS Michael x MC (Jordan) in Midnight Sun AU

*Disclaimer: Most of the lines and scenes I got from the movie the Midnight Sun and all rights belongs to the creators and writers, as well as the characters from PB. This is merely a converted fan fiction*

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Part Four

"My God, Jordan..."

That notebook was like where Jordan writes her songs. She can't have lost it, right? Maria knows the girl would be devastated.

"Can you please go get it for me?" Jordan takes her hands, staring into her eyes. God, those green eyes are amazing. "Maria, you know it's so important. Please."

Her eyes blinked, "You know, I would, but there's, like, um... A few other hamster funerals that I was gonna hit today--"

The blonde grabbed a pillow and hit her playfully. They fell back, giggling as Maria tried to shield herself.After a minute or two, they sighed breathlessly and sits back. Jordan gave her that irresistible pout that Uncle Scott always warned her about. "Please, Maria?"

Ughhh, oh no, She groans. My poor weak heart.

Two hours later, Maria walks into the train station with her hands inside the pocket of her long coat.There is a slight drizzle in the air, making it chilly. She weaves her way through the crowd of commuters and headed to the spot where she knew Jordan always sits to play. She scans the stations carefully, then she find him.

Michael Harrison stands leaning against the wall on the corner, obviously waiting. Probably for a girl that would less likely to show up under the bright sky of the day. His fingers drumming a tune on the familiar notebook in his hands.

Maria was surprised. She didn't expect Michael to care to return something if he even found it. Yet there he is. She approached him carefully, they attended the same school and there is always the possibility he wouldn't even recognize her. "Hi. My friend's been looking for that."

Michael looks up. "You know her? "

Maria nods curtly.

"Wait, Maria Flores, right?" He gave her a slight smirk. "Student body president? We had English class together. I'm Michael--"

"Harrison, of course. I know. And it was actually a History class. And Geometry and chemistry last year. Not English."

"Whatever." Michael rolls his eyes. "But how do you know her? Did she just move here?"

Maria holds out her hand, her palm up. "Notebook first."

The guy narrows his eyes at her, not at all intimidated and stood his ground. "Or you could just tell me where she lives and I could drop it off."

Nope, not gonna happen. Maria glared at him then sighs. She doesn't really have time for this and it looks like he will only bug her if she doesn't say anything. "You know what, I have a better idea."

▪️▪️▪️

Her phone beeps, indicating a new message from Maria.

Got the notebook, but had to run to the shop. I left it at the station ticket booth.

Jordan smiles and sent a bunch of cute emojis back to Maria to express her thanks then went to bed, turning off her bedside lamp to call it a night. Or a morning. Whatever it is.

She wakes up that night just in time for dinner. After putting on her fabulous outfit of the day-- a baggy gray shirt, black sweatpants and old sneakers-- Jordan joins her father on the dinner table. Featuring Chinese take-outs.

"Hey, Dad," She looks up at the man, almost finished with her food. "I need to go to the train station to pick up my notebook. Fred has it."

"Okay, text me when you get there." Scott mumbled in between mouthfuls. "And be careful!"

Jordan gave him two thumbs up, then rush down the hall and to the evening streets. She should have called Maria first to ask if they can hang, but her best friend must be looking after the night shift of their family business, the local ice cream shop called Cedar Creamery.

So she went on her own anyway.

The town doesn't look as festive as yesterday. Few people can be seen on the streets as she walks the familiar path to the train station.

The station as well looks half empty. Half a dozen people lounging on the waiting area probably... Well, waiting. Their faces blank and bored. Jordan passed by and went directly to the ticket booth but the station officer was nowhere in sight.

"Fred?" She called, frowning. No Fred?

Jordan kept walking until she reaches the corner and spots a familiar figure leaning against the wall by the shadow. One of his hands inside the pocket of his signature green jacket and on his other hand, a blue hardbound notebook.

"Holy...pregnant...cow," She turns around and hides behind the corner she came from. "Oh. My. God! My God, my God..." Jordan retreats back to the other side of the ticket booth and pressed herself against the wall, hoping Michael hadn't seen her.

What the hell is he doing here??! Maria said she got the notebook already! Why is he-- Maria! She gotta call Maria!

On the other side of town, the ice cream shop was just recovering from the last rush hour of the day and only a few customers are around and hanging out.

"Thank you!" Maria forced out a cheerful voice and a friendly smile, then turned back from the take -out booth to let their service crew do their work.

She had been wearing this colorful apron since that afternoon and honestly, her face is already hurting for smiling too much. Maria should have been home, finishing her book but her Dad Stephen is at the police station solving his cases while his Dad Jose wasn't really feeling well so she was left to handle the ice cream shop.The telephone behind her starts ringing and with a heavy sigh, Maria picked it up and speaks. "Cedar Creamery, how may I--"

"Maria." Jordan's familiar voice cut her off, sound tensed and nervous.

"Oh, hey." She couldn't help but smile. If her calculations are correct, her best friend must be at the train station and sees her hopeless Prince Not-So-Charming waiting for her already. "How's your second date?"

"How could you do this to me?" The blonde whispers urgently. "My goodness! I'm in sweatpants. My hair, it's-- it's a mess. It's tied, messily tied! Uggghh... I look like an idiot!"

"Oh, please, Jordan." Maria chuckles and sits down on her father's office chair, the telephone wire stretching across the space. Sometimes, it make her wonder if Jordan even know how beautiful she is. The girl is too innocent for this world. She sighs and shakes her head, smiling like a fool. "You're super freakin' gorgeous, okay? I can't even see you right now and I can tell you look so beautiful."

"Hi, excuse me." A customer waves at her impatiently outside the take-out counter. "Can I just get a large--"

Maria holds up a finger to stop him, shooting the guy a look. "Can you not see I'm on the phone?"

She gestured for the crew to hurry why their doing and attend to the inpatient guy. As if she would drop her call with Jordan. Maria returns to the conversation. "Look, he really likes you, okay? I can tell. Just try to be yourself. Don't ramble too much. And call me afterwards."

"Ugh, bye." Jordan mumbled from the other line.

"Good luck, honey!"With that, Maria turns back to help the crew.

Jordan, meanwhile, stares at the phone for a few seconds in disbelief before putting it down. She looks to her side and realized the walls of the ticket booth is made in glass and totally see-through. From the other side of the booth, Michael catches sight of her and stands.

"Oh, my..." She gasped, turning her back to him and pressing face first against the wall hoping it swallows her and take her back to her room.

It feels suddenly hot. Why is she sweating? Jordan fans her face. Okay, Jordan. She whispers. This is real. He is here and he won't be going away any time soon unless you come face him. Take a deep breath... Jordan takes more than a few breaths then steels herself as she walks to his direction. She looks down to check if sweatpants is properly tied then performs a few warm up jumps.

"You exist." Michael Harrison's unmistakably smooth voice speaks. He stands there obviously been waiting for her to come out. A meaningful smile on his handsome face. "I thought I was dreaming last night or something."

Keep your cool. Jordan reminds in her head. Remember what Maria said, act normal. Don't ramble too much.Her mind goes completely blank when she meets his deep grayish eyes. Jordan speaks the first thing that came out of her head. "Were you in the REM stage of sleep?"

"What?" Michael looks confused.

"That's when most dreams happen, actually." Jordan explains. "Yeah! Your brain activity is super high and functioning and your eyes are just going nuts behind your eyelids. It looks super weird." You sound super weird, her subconscious snides. You gotta stop rambling, you idiot. She ignores it. "It's like a typewriter or something--um, anyway, thank you for--"

"Wait. I--" Michael steps back just as she reaches out to take the notebook from him. "I still don't know your name."

"Oh." Right. Jordan nods absentmindedly. "It's Jordan."

"Jordan." The gray-eyed guy repeats the name, as if practicing how to say it. The corners of his lips curved. "I'm Michael."

Of course, it is. "Wow... That's a weird name." Jordan avoids his gaze. He shouldn't know that she already knew his name. Like for ten years. "Thank God you told me it 'cause... I wouldn't have known it otherwise. T-Thank you." She grabbed the notebook from him and turns.

"Wait, what..."

"You didn't..." Jordan stops in her tracks as the thought hits her. She looks at Michael suspiciously. "You didn't read through it, did you?"

"Just a little, I--"

"What?!"

"What?" Michael blinks. Apparently, all she has ever done is confuse him all the way.

"Are you serious?" Her eyes widen. "You read through my journal?"

"Look, I--"

"This could have been a diary. I-- I mean, it is, kind of."

"Um, I'm... I'm really sorry." Michael looks down, frowning. Did he just said sorry? I never say sorry, he thought. He looks at Jordan who has a cute defensive look on her face. "You left really quick the other night, and I really had no idea who it belonged to, so I just looked through it quickly. But I like that you still handwrite things. It's... it's cool. It's old school."

He watches her eyebrows carefully. Michael finds it easier to read her through the movement of her eyebrows which he find quite amusing. They were frowning one second, then slowly smooths over, followed by a little smile.

"Thanks..." Jordan says quietly. "For finding it."

"Yeah."

Michael realized the notebook must be of something important. It looks old, but the stuffs written inside were recently written. Just a few random quotes, but Michael caught sight of a couple pages containing a drawn sheet music.

He figured she would definitely look for it. Like the way he would look if he accidentally lose his grandpa's old motorcycle. In a way, he do understand.

Jordan once again used the moment of silence to walk away.

"Wait!" Michael called after her. Fortunately, she looks back. "What, another hamster died? You have to..."

They both chuckle. Jordan has some dorky chuckles. "Um... I... I had to... I... I'm... I'm walking home."

"Can I walk with you?"

"Um, yeah."

Michael returns her sweet smile, gesturing for her to lead the way. They walk in silence down the empty road for a few minutes before he decided to break the ice. Something that doesn't happen all the time. "So, you were home-schooled? Man, that must have been wild."

"Actually, it was the exact opposite of wild." Jordan hugs the notebook to her chest. "My dad's pretty protective."

"He's not, like, watching us right now, is he?" He looks at the buildings they pass by.

"Yeah. He has his phone tapped into every camera." She rolls her eyes, making them both laugh. "So, um, what did you think of the songs you read? Without my permission, I may add."

"I honestly don't know." Michael shrugs. It was the truth. He won't just lie to impress someone. "I mean, you can't really read a song, right?"

"True."

He noticed the downcast look in her eyes. "I guess I'd have to hear you sing them."

Jordan blushes. "Um, so anyway... I'm right up there." She pointed to a house just down the street. "So you don't have to walk me."

"Wait. You live up there?" They stopped walking and stared at the two story family house ahead. Michael couldn't believe his eyes. "I... I don't understand how we've never met. I've probably skated by your house. Like, everyday on the way to practice."

"It's a..." Jordan makes a funny face then shakes her head. "Funny coincidence. Um, thanks."

She walks towards the house and Michael stayed on his spot, shoving his hands into his pockets. An idea crossed his mind. "Hey, you wouldn't wanna do something sometime, would you?"

"Uh... Together?"

"Yes, us together. Hang out."

"Well, you should put your number in here then." She flips through the pages of her notebook looking for a space but on one page, a number is already written on it. Signed by Michael.

"I'm old school too." He admitted, this time a genuine little smile on his face.

"Smooth. Thank you."

They stared at each other for a few moments, standing in the middle of the road before Jordan makes a awkward You rock! gesture that caused them to laugh then she sprints towards the gates of her house and disappeared.

▪️▪️▪️

Note: Thanks! Have a nice day. Or night. 🤣🤣

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats #19 | For Richer For Poorer (Damiano, 1979)

Every once in a while when you come across a porno that does the non-pornographic parts really well, it raises the question: would this be better if it weren't a porno at all? On one hand, I believe in meeting movies on their level (including their genre) and think that explicit sex can be dramatically necessary in the right context. I've seen some of the mainstream efforts of notable porn directors like Gerard Damiano and Stephen Sayadian and it's clear that the demands of the genre actually lend some structure to their work and found those movies less enjoyable than their more explicit output. But on the other hand, it's almost a shame when you stumble across certain elements that are so strong yet few will see just because of the genre. The question came to mind as I watched another Damiano film, For Richer For Poorer, his portrayal of a marriage that's just fallen apart.

The opening scenes are the most devastating. Georgina Spelvin tries to make small talk while preparing breakfast when her husband Robert Kerman tells her in brutally plain terms that they're getting a divorce. He tries to be nice about it, says he's found a good price for the house and tells her to get a lawyer. She only wants to know the other woman's name. The next scene she's sitting alone in their empty, unfurnished house as Kerman tries awkwardly to bid farewell. She smiles coldly and cuts him off. "If you say 'that's it' one more time, I'll scream." Kerman tries to be as much of a good guy as he can and clearly wants to make things as easy for Spelvin as he can, but that doesn't mean this is any less painful for her.

To the extent that there's an instigating event for all of this, it's that their daughter ran away with a bunch of hippies. ("That note, so cold, so final. She really hates us.") I've seen Damiano referred to as a conservative or at least sex-negative pornographer, and while that's probably a bit of an oxymoron, there's a bit of truth to that here. The main characters to an extent blame the sexual revolution for the dissolution of their family unit, and I think he conjures more empathy for that viewpoint than most directors working in this genre. Over the rest of the film, Spelvin has to put herself back together and rediscover her agency. "All those years my thoughts were always plural...Now there's no one, no one I have to worry about except me."

Damiano ties this arc to the demands of the genre with a stylish dream sequence where Spelvin sees a more assertive, severe version of herself in a number of sexual scenarios, troubled yet intrigued when her "guide" through this dream (also played by Kerman) suggests that she is indeed capable of what her doppelganger does. I watched this in a less than ideal copy that I suspect underserves the formal qualities of this sequence, yet it still had quite an impact. (How or where I watched this is none of your business, and everybody does it anyway, and I cleared my browser history already so you can't prove anything. I can only hope that Vinegar Syndrome gets around to restoring this movie.) After this scene concludes, Spelvin finds herself a changed, slightly more confident woman, beginning a courtship with a genial, charming Bobby Astyr, which leads to the party scene that ends the movie. She runs into her ex-husband again, and to the extent that this is a competition, it's clear who's come out on top.

A large part of the movie's power comes not just from the performances but from the casting itself. Not to slight Spelvin's work here (she's regarded as probably the best actress in porn for a very good reason, and there's more evidence in favour of that title here), but the fact that her, Kerman and Astyr look like real people gives this movie an immediacy that goes a long way in selling the drama. Would this movie work half as well if you cast more photogenic folks like, I dunno, Annette Haven and Eric Edwards in the lead roles? Probably not. The movie also has a good ear for naturalistic dialogue in the scenes between Spelvin and her sympathetic friends and her and Astyr.

"It's not al dente. What's the opposite of al dente?"

"Wrong."

"Wrong, that's probably what is is."

"It's the only grounds for divorce in Italy."

Now, back to my original question. One could argue that this might have been better as a straight drama, but the sex scenes give the movie psychological texture. And as a movie about the crumbling of the heroine's marriage and the rediscovering of her agency, it's not inappropriate to see her having sex. The sex scenes are probably least effective when they go for close-ups, but Damiano and Spelvin find ways to inject them with psychological weight and character development. In short, while it could probably work as a straight drama, I would wager it would be a less interesting one.

[aham-bramasmi]

HE WAS ROUGH. HE WAS CRUDE. HIS METHODS WERE UNORTHODOX Prophet TB Joshua

Biography

Born 12 June 1963

Died 5 June 2021

Nigerian charismatic pastor, televangelist, and philanthropist. He was the leader and founder of Synagogue, Church of All Nations (SCOAN), A Christian mega church that runs the Emmanuel TV television station from Lagos. He was one of Nigeria's millionaire church pastors who fly private jets.

Joshua, then known as Balogun Francis, attended St. Stephen's Anglican Primary School in Arigidi Akoko, Nigeria, between 1971 and 1977, but failed to complete one year of secondary school education. In school, he was known as "small pastor" because of his love for the Bible. He came from a poor background and was brought up by his Muslim uncle following the death of his Christian father.

According to Joshua, he spent 15 months in his mother's womb.

His Rise To Firm

· He started his ministry in 1989.

· In the early Nineties, his performance could be characterized as that of a magician, an entertainer in the mold of popular street performers. In the early Nineties he could not preach a sermon because he couldn’t speak English.

· When he started his ministry on television in the mid-90s, his hair did not glisten, his shoes were not shiny and he did not have an American twang - he spoke with a Yoruba accent, and a mixture of English and Pidgin. He mostly wore a Jalabia - a loose-fitting garment worn by Muslims, and kept a moustache that gave him an intense look.

· He refined himself as he became wealthy, adding a fleet of cars and a private jet to look the part, but he remained an outsider.

· His followers found him charismatic and down-to-earth, and his message spread around the world.

· In recognition of his humanitarian activities, he was awarded a National Honor by the Nigerian government in 2008 as well as receiving a letter of appreciation from the United Nations.

· He was further honored as an Ambassador of Peace by the Arewa Youth Forum, a predominantly Muslim organization, as well as being recognized with an 'award of excellence' by ZAKA, Israel's primary rescue and recovery voluntary service.

· Ironically, it was pressure instigated by the Pentecostal Fellowship of Nigeria, with the NBC acting as a gatekeeper that allowed Joshua to flourish even further and set up Emmanuel TV. On April 30 2004, a law by the National Broadcasting Commission (NBC) came into effect, making it illegal to broadcast material containing the performance of miracles that have not been verified before the broadcast.

· In 2011, Joshua was third on the Forbes list of Nigeria’s five richest pastors, whose net worth was estimated at close to $15-million.

Religious Controversy

The Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN) and Pentecostal Fellowship of Nigeria (PFN) both acknowledged Joshua was not a member of either organization and denounced him as an 'impostor'. Enoch Adeboye, David Oyedepo, Ayo Oritsejafor, Paul Adefarasin and Matthew Ashimolowo are among the pastors that publicly denounced Joshua as an "impostor" who belonged to a group of "occults" that had infiltrated Christianity.

The CAN and PFN have also maitained that Joshua had no traceable record of mentorship and grounding according to the biblical model.

When he started his ministry probably up to the point of his death he didn’t have a church council, elders or deacons because he believed this would limit the grace of God that works through him.

He did not publish a statement of faith or theology in line with mainstream churches and practice.

Famous Ghanaian witch doctor, Nana Kwaku Bonsam once claimed T.B Joshua goes to him to acquire spiritual powers and challenged the Nigerian prophet to come out openly to deny.

Blacklisted in Cameroon:

He was 'blacklisted' by the government of Cameroon in 2010 and termed a 'son of the devil'. Rumours of a visit by Joshua to Zimbabwe in 2012 led to an intense national debate, culminating with pastors and politicians strongly objecting.

US election prophecy:

Joshua incorrectly predicted that Hillary Clinton would win the 2016 US election. After this prophecy failed to materialize, with Donald Trump winning the election, Joshua stated that he was referring to Clinton's win in the popular vote and any misinterpretation was due to a lack of "spiritual understanding".

Coronavirus:

Joshua claimed that COVID-19 would disappear globally on 27 March 2020.

His Ministration & Practice

He wielded enormous power - people fell when he spread out his arms, rolled when he snapped his fingers, and his breath pushed back rows and rows of his congregation.

To witness his prayer sessions in the early days of his televised ministry was to be treated to exorcism that many felt bordered on the occult.

On some occasions, he gazed intently at those he was praying for and seemed to control the movement of others with an invisible remote. His critics believe he could use his eyes with demonic powers in them to superimpose his thoughts into people a practice referred to as mesmerism or hypnotism.

Some of it felt like a hypnotic session, others like that of a magician at work.

His critics believe, telepathizing, hypnotism, occultism, kabbalah magic are processes of ruling the minds of weaker men. It could go to the length of seeing the magic maker in the dreams once the weaker person allows the demonic spirit of the conjurer to influence his mind.

He prayed over handkerchiefs, photographs and other personal belongings and asked people to take them home with them.

He also prayed over little bags of water, which were handed out at the church for people to suck and receive healing.

There were also reports that Joshua referred to the water in the bags as the ''blood of Christ'' (What about Holy Communion and its interpretation?).

His critics also associated the extreme shaking of the hand to shamanism.

He believed illness was caused by sin. If someone was healed and become ill again, it is because the person had sinned again.

Question & Answer Interview

“Given by T.B Joshua in a book called Pastor W.F. Kumuyi and Prophet T.B. Joshua: Are both messengers of God? By Isaac B. Agbaje and Abieye Kalu.”

Q: Why he doesn't criticize other men of God?

A: "Despite the fact that many fellow ministers of God daily blaspheme against me, I refrain from retaliating, because I know the grave consequences of criticizing an anointed man of God ... For instance, if you are a minister of God, but deliberately go out of your way to blaspheme against another man of God, whom you knew is a true man of God, you have lost one or two of your spiritual powers to the colleague you blasphemed against unjustifiably."

Q: Why he is a vegetarian?

A: "I was not born a vegetarian. In fact, when God sent me on this mission, I realized that my work is tedious. I will refer to John 5:37: "And the Father who sent me hath borne witness to me, His Voice you have never heard, His form you have never seen."

"In a week I deliver contrary spirit carriers (Ogbanjes), witches and wizards (about 1000 of them). They are not ordinary human beings. Some are half human and half fish. So if you eat fish you cannot deliver them."

Q: His unique divine personality.

A: "The divine person in me can do a million things simultaneously. I can appear to thousands people in their dreams in any part of the world to set them free of their sicknesses, problems and afflictions."

My Opinion

Unlike his peers Prophet Joshua did not establish church branches on every street corner and mostly kept his family in the background. The church was him and he was the church, each a reflection of the other. It was a typical one-man show, although he has disciples. It will be interesting to see how the church will chart the way forward without him.

Many of the things he was criticized for are also practiced by many of the Pentecostals who are no less deified by their members but because he did not belong to the clique or fall into their own description of God, he was demonized.

Religion has been used to a larger extent to divide people and take away their dignity and their identity it is for this reason that I am not a fan of religion.

Spiritual laws will always trample on religion because they are no respecter of any human being, place and time. Regardless of your colour, creed and nationality wherever you are the law of gravity will always work and the same goes with other laws of creation.

He was rough. He was crude. His methods were unorthodox!

By Reul Reul

REFERENCES & CREDITS

BBC World Africa

Adom TV - Bishop Kayode Peller

Wikipedia - By TBJ Arabic - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0

Apologetics Coordination Team

Mail & Guardian