his496

[his496]

Hosted on March 8 (International Women's Day), we imagine ourselves as conference leaders, who are organizing various discussions on womanhood. Through the mediums of zine making, lectures, podcasts, and journals, we engage with the idea of 'becoming a woman'. What does womanhood mean? More specifically, who is the Chinese woman? Our work will engage with gender sentiments shaped by our own perspectives. From being born in the diaspora and hailing from the Motherland. From negotiating queer identities and reluctantly conforming: who is the woman?

[his496]

Join us at 12:00 pm for a special lecture on “Leftover Women in China” featuring a panel of female students who will share their personal stories and insights. This event is an opportunity to hear from those who have experienced firsthand the pressures and challenges facing women in contemporary China.

Our panelists will discuss their own experiences with the concept of “leftover women” and how it has influenced their decisions around marriage and children and their understanding of womanhood. They will offer a glimpse into the lives of young women in China today in relation to the state and society.

This event is a must-attend for anyone interested in understanding the complexities of contemporary Chinese society, which cannot be separated with deep historical roots, and the experiences of women in that context. Don’t miss this unique opportunity to hear from these inspiring and insightful young women.

 Preview:

“Girls cannot have a romantic relationship with anyone until they are in college, let alone talk about sex, but are expected to get married immediately after they graduate. Almost everyone knows the concept of leftover women. My parents would say that women are not good at marriage after 30 years old and above, men do not like that old age. A woman over 30 is seen as a kind of unwanted woman by men, and she is a failure, therefore in order to be a successful woman, I’ve been taught to get married before 30 and I felt pressure every time when my mom ask me when I'll have a boyfriend. I’ve read a book and it said that this concept is promoted by the Chinese state in order to promote marriage for social stability (Fincher 25)” This is true because the term leftover woman is widely spread, but not in a way that criticizes the shaming of women behind the term but is widely discussed as to why women become leftover and what should be done about it. This shows the state and society’s desire for women to enter into marriage, constructing an ideal image of women i.e., those who marry before the age of thirty.

Key words: State, Marriage, Women, Children, Leftover Women, Age, Confucianism

[his496]

Join us on March 8th for an insightful podcast episode of “My Personal History”, where we’ll hear from a Chinese female student as she shares her personal experience with the ideal image of girls created by her middle school motto - IACE. In this episode, she’ll delve into how the motto was used to discipline female students and shape their behavior, leaving a lasting impact on her and her peers.

 Preview:

         The image of the ideal woman was institutionalized through education. I attended an all-girls high school in middle school. Although this school was different from other schools where boys and girls were mixed and girls were given more space and freedom in an all-girls school, the school rules shaped an ideal image of woman that was exerted on the students. Our school motto is IACE, the letters of which stand for Independence, Ability, Care, and Elegance, and each semester the school will launch an election of a model girl who compounds the standard of IACE. By setting the IACE as a standard, the school considers girls who meet the definition of this standard as good girls and those who do not as bad girls, creating an image to guide students to mold themselves to this standard. The school even offer etiquette classes in the first two years of school to teach girls how to behave decently (e.g., we spend an entire class period each week on etiquette, such as sitting, etc.). While the strength of the girls’ school was that it encouraged girls to develop their independence and abilities, as opposed to emphasizing the traditional value of women in a supportive role, it also embodied a control of womanhood - a single image of womanhood - by creating an ideal image of womanhood as a sign of independence, ability, etc. that distinguished the school from other schools. This control establishes a dichotomy between good and bad, and also equates excellence as a student. Being an IACE girl leads to a subconscious perception of academic excellence and talent, while girls who do not quite fit this definition are perceived as academically underachievers. Such a logic of good versus bad opposition, that is, the logic of the ideal woman and the deviant woman, is internalized in my daily thoughts through the institution of education

Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of the societal pressures young girls face and the way that the image of the ideal woman is used for some purposes. Don't miss out!

Key words: Education System, School, Women, Girls, Ideal Womanhood, Institutionalization

[his496]

The“Ideal Women vs. Deviant Woman” dichotomy. Our speaker will delve into the societal pressures placed on women to conform to certain expectations and the consequences of deviating from these norms. Also, Our speaker will also share the impact of the one-child policy on the construction of Chinese womanhood. Here, you can gain a deeper understanding of the cultural and historical roots of this phenomenon, and the impact it has on the lives of women in modern-day China.

Some voices:

From the time I was born, a clear image of the ideal woman was visible at different stages of my life. Being a Chinese woman is constantly defined by a constant normal/deviant dichotomy. In childhood, the girl was an image of a girl in a dress, who liked to play with dolls and had long hair. In my kindergarten years, I did not like to play with dolls or wear dresses, but rather preferred things like food coupons that inherited from my grandparents and were used in planned economy era, which were considered by many to be "weird" hobbies, so my parents often denied my girlhood, telling me and others that I was a little boyish and not at all like a girl. Here a dichotomy emerged of girls who like dresses and dolls versus boyish girls who don't like dresses and dolls, and biological girls who don't fit the former are denied girlhood and are considered not girly enough and need to be regulated. As such, my parents would buy me lots of dresses to make me dress a little more like a girl.

My family always told me that women must get married and have children, and that if you don’t have children, who will take care of you when you are old. Or, they would say that it is human’s responsibility to carry on the family line. Children are often the caregiving responsibility of women. The reason why it is often women who have caregiving responsibilities is that the traditional Confucian family structure still exists today, and in my family, my mother was a working woman who also had the primary responsibility for household work and care of my grandmother. Despite the erasure of certain gender distinctions and the emphasis on women's work in China since Mao’s era (in order to promote economic development), women were still seen as responsible for the household, and much of the female labor in the home and the double load of work and housework was overshadowed by the discourse that women could hold up half the sky (Yang 43). Even though my mother often complained about her own domestic duties and my father’s absence from the household, she internalized the idea that women should marry, have children, and take care of the household, constructing an ideal image of women for me to follow. Women who were not married and did not have children were criticized as having either physical or mental issues, implying that women who were physically and psychologically normal should get married, have children, and take care of the main household, and women who were not were deviant.

Reflecting on my experiences, the state also plays a very major role in constructing the ideal women. In face of the huge population in China, the one-child policy were imposed to control the growth of population. For a long time, I thought the one-child policy was reasonable and normal before I realized that it was actually controlling women’s reproductive rights as well as women’s bodies, demonstrating that the control of women and what it means to be a Chinese mother has been normalized in everyday life. For example, because just like me, most of my peers were the only child of their families, when I hear others around me say they have siblings I often feel shocked, thinking it is not usual. One-child policy in a sense shaped my perception of Chinese womanhood, that is, when thinking of an ideal woman before the two-child policy and three-child policy, it had always been an image of a married working woman who has one child.

Women’s inability to talk about sex is also reflected in menstruation. Good women are not allowed to talk about menstruation and sex in public, only unashamed “slutty” women can talk about menstruation and sex in public. In Chinese vernacular expression, menstruation is replaced by the word “big aunt”. We say “I’ve had my big aunt come” instead of “I’ve had period/menstruation” to avoid direct reference to menstruation, a term considered as dirty and closely related to fertility and sex.

Don’t miss this opportunity to learn, reflect and engage in a meaningful discussion on this important topic. Mark on your calendar!

Key Words: State, One-Child Policy, China, Marriage, Children, Sex, Menstruation, Womanhood

[his496]

Uncover the powerful role of shame in shaping the image of the Ideal Woman in China at our upcoming seminar on March 8th. Our speaker will talk about her personal histories and reflect on it in relation to the systematic violence that women have received, for example, how shame has been used as a tool for discipline and control women. By delving into the cultural and historical context, we’ll begin from a personal experience and deepen in exploring the far-reaching impact of this phenomenon on the construction of womanhood. Don't miss out on this chance to gain a deeper understanding of these complex dynamics and engage in a stimulating discussion with our panel of experts.

 Some of voices:

·  Making women feel shame has always been an important weapon to regulate women. As far back as I can remember, because I didn't like wearing skirts as a child, I was called a “nanrenpo”, a rude way of saying I was a masculine woman. This made me sad and feel blamed. Similarly, when I started playing some sports in middle school, I was also told by my family that I was not like a girl and like a tomboy. Through these words I felt I was criticized and gave up many of these behaviors. Shaming women an image of an unusual woman in opposition to the ideal woman is created, and it also correct back the transgressions.

·  I have also encountered many abusive terms for women in China, one of which is “female doctor”. Although this term seems very positive, it is often used in the context of the Chinese internet to refer to a highly educated, third category of people who are not wanted by men. Highly educated women are denied their womanhood and are shamed in the use of the term, suggesting a sense that Chinese society does not want women to have more education. The implicated meaning that no man wants female doctors also shows the importance of marriage in Chinese Confucian ideology. This reminds me of the traditional Confucian thinking that a woman's lack of talent is virtue.

Key words: Shame, Woman, Confucianism, Ideal woman, Systematic violence

[his496]

Let’s Play! What does Womanhood mean to you? Come join us in the Junior Common Room, found in University College, as we craft away! Snacks and Refreshments provided. 

All are welcome to join.

[his496]

On Considering Womanhood is an annual publication printed by HIS496 Asian Feminist Theories. 

Originally found in Volume 3 of On Considering Womanhood, Wong considers the aftermath of her aunt’s sudden passing and the ways in which violence is inherited. Taught to be afraid of loneliness, Wong discusses their early struggles in reconciling with her queerness. 

----

A Mortician’s Confirmation 

I am sixteen and my aunt is dead. 

As much as I have lamented, I never once wrote out how I felt. After all, how do you fill in a hole that was so violently made? In the weeks to come, I would scourge the news. I would sit outside behind closed doors, straining my ears to hear the truth. In an act of misguided cruelty or relief, my father would blindly tell me the words I was so desperate to hear. Confirming the hushed whispers and broken sobs, the mortician's confirmation. 

I am six years old and my aunt is hiding. 

There is a corner in the backyard that acts as a blind spot. Stand there and you will be undetected by those in the home. Unfortunately, cigarette smoke, or more accurately, its stench, is not so subtle. Its distinctive smell wafts in when she reenters the room, mixing itself alongside her perfume. I remember being confused by her habit; not the smoking but the hiding. I dismissed it as ‘weird adult thing’, this desire to hide what would be seen as shameful. We would never address it, not her and I. It was only years later that my grandpa explained how she wanted to hide her bad habits. That she felt the need to be a good role model. Contextually, I am the oldest of my generational line, and for a few odd years, I was the only present child of that line. I suppose that in those earlier years, my aunts and uncles were very strict in wanting to be a good influence. I was loved, I was coddled, and I was sheltered. For better or worse, the world was hidden away. 

I am thirteen and my aunt is angry. 

Middle school years are not known for their kindness. They are known for their lessons. In a span of three years, I would be faced with some harsh truths. One, smiling in certain ways would appease most individuals. Two, you will learn to be disgusted by your own skin. Only later would you learn the third, the shame made is not for you to bear. It is for you to unlearn. 

But my aunt is angry. Up until now, I was not consciously aware of my own sex. Circle here for ‘boy’, circle here for ‘girl’. My pencil moved without meaning. I was a diligent child, I worked hard to appear agreeable. I was rowdy, I came home with grass stained pants. I was a studious child, but not of grammar and maths. I was quiet as a mouse, I was loud and strained your ears. None of these defined a gender, so why did they? 

My school hosted ski trips, a three week day excursion. I had only been at the hills once prior, accompanying my uncles and my father. My memory blurs, but I remember being late. By the time we rented all our equipment, the children’s class had already left. Presently, I was determined to conquer the slopes. I spoke eagerly with my classmates, all of us laughing and talking on our way there. For the most part, the day went by well. It was the bus ride back that was different. It is too late to wonder why I sat through all that, why I didn't just get up and leave for another seat. Why did I not yell back? Perhaps I wanted to show my indifference, that I was not being affected by the words said. Instead, I smiled placidly and went home to scrub away the images painted of me off my own skin. 

My aunt is angry, she takes me back to the car for a lecture. When we were posing for a photo, I had thought to copy a pose I saw my friends do. I had thought it was something cute. I was wrong. She berates me. I should never repeat what I just did, especially in front of a man. I remember her eyes, the sternness of her voice. I remember the immense shame I felt. I scrub away. 

Dinner has finished, I begin to clean the table. I look up, all the women are cleaning. I stare over into the living room. My grandpa’s knees and back ache, so he rests on the couch. My father works odd hours, so after meals he returns to work. I zero in on my brother, laying sprawled over the couch. I squint. I pass by my mother and ask. She turns and pauses, staring straight ahead as if contemplating an answer. She wants me to be reliable, she reasons. I ask her what that means for me? For my brother? She does not answer. 

My aunt is angry, glaring at the produce. I learn about loneliness as we stand next to the clementines and mandarins. I learned that being alone is another act of shame. That being single is akin to being unwanted. Undesired. Unneeded. I offer no words of comfort, I am twelve. 

I am twenty sitting across from my grandmother, the Matriarch. She holds my hand, and pleads. Do you not want a husband? Do you not want children? Do you wish to be lonely? Presumingly, I have listened too closely to her previous words. To have no distractions and to focus solely on my studies. I am queer, and the first person I bring is not a man. The relationship will last less than a year, but it is enough to fuel the fear.

I should for the most part, be grateful that she got around the idea of me being queer. Bisexuality? No problem. Double the chances for marriage. A sentiment later reiterated by my paternal grandmother. An anxiety grows in me, will their desires come to fruition? Will I be wanted, desired, and needed? 

From childhood until marriage, you receive red envelopes from married couples. It is always two envelopes per pair. In that sense, they become rites of passage, as you change from recipient into bestower. The fear only grows, as gifts become burdens with each passing year. 

In the parking lot of a mall, I admit my worries to my mother. As she places the shopping bags inside the trunk, she can only say that “boys don’t wear skirts”. Gender has no clothing, but I never did care for skirts. We are silent in the car ride home. 

Later, she knocks on my door. She apologises and we talk things out. Our first and only conversation about gender, she asks if I had ever considered surgery. She interjects before I can reply. She tells me how much my grandparents wanted me, their eldest grandchild and granddaughter. I grimace, and circle ‘girl’ on every document I see.  

On the last day I saw her, my aunt was happy. Laughing and cheerful, she spoke with a promise to return in two days time. I walked her to the door, and asked her to stay. She laughed and shook her head, enveloping me a hug. Her words are lost to time, but I know she was eager to see him. I knew to smile when asked, but I never did manage to look him in the eyes. I wonder now, if I would be able to. I hope to never learn. 

A year later, I searched her name on the internet and found her in a study. My aunt had become a statistic for that year’s recorded femicide. 

In my anger, I wonder what womanhood means. 

I am twenty four, and I know what womanhood is not. It is not cruelty, it is not shame, it is not the violence. These are but conditions of a system that seek subjugation. Womanhood is defined by the individual, it is beautiful and ugly. Graceful as it is awkward. It is everything and nothing. It is all that you desire it to be, and nothing that you ever wanted. 

I stare at the ceiling and wonder who I can be. 

… 

I choose to be seen as a girl. I do not wish to correct or explain. I bargained with myself: what is gender anyway? Or at the very least, what is gender to me? Nothing more than a mindless circle, an action now done with only a moment of hesitation. 

[his496]

We thank you all for joining us today at Becoming You: On Considering Womanhood. We also wish to thank all of our speakers, who have shared their personal experience on identity making and what has influenced them. It is truly our greatest honour to have shared this space with you all. 

In the past year, we have wondered and questioned our own identities and the various factors that have shaped them. We have mourned, argued, and bargained. We have embraced, negotiated, and demanded. We are everything, and we are nothing. 

Although we were not raised together, nor do we share the exact same experiences - we have reached an understanding. We know better now how we are all affected by the systems laid before us. It is in this understanding that our solidarities build. We are complete individually, but we become more when joined. 

We thank you.