#mimi im putting this here bc im too shy and embarrassed to put in a/n but

[violetsoju]

stay here with me (your heart in mine)

kunimi akira · fluff · 3.8k words

summary: 10 years. a lot can happen in 10 years. but if no effort is made in that span of time, then it's just back to square one, since one plus zero equals to one. and thats where Kunimi has been standing in these 10 years.

song rec: leehi - savior (feat. b.i)

a/n: im terribly late, but here's my fictrade piece for @heatwave2021 for dear mimi (@mimi-cee-hq)! ive gotten to know kunimi a lil better through this piece and i hope i did kunimi justice!! i hope you like it too <33 a huge shoutout to cath and amy for hosting this fictrade event too! this was really fun and also to moon (@moonboohoo) for giving this a once over ♡

“Do you know how great of a good friend you are?”

“Of course, I do.”

“Good. Because I’m revoking your good friend status now.”

Kunimi peers at the source of the voice over his shoulder, groaning in pain when he strains his neck sideways a little more than intended.

“Why so?” He croaks out, stretching his neck to ease the jabbing pain.

“Because a good friend would give their support by revising together or making themselves useful like bringing snacks or coffee. Not coming empty handed and sleeping on all fours like a slab of dead meat on the bed right next to me.”

A slab of dead meat is quite the fitting description, in all honesty. Kunimi’s face is buried into the pillow, butt up in the air, arms stretched out straight by the sides while his legs dangle over the edge of the bed just a little. It isn’t the best position to sleep in, but he can’t find an ounce of energy to move.

It’s quite the contrast from the latter. Kindachi has his face buried in the pile of notes before him, laptop screen staring brightly back at him with notes swamped all over his desk, a couple of empty cans of coffee sitting right on the edge of the messy desk waiting to be recycled. His supposedly easy-to-maintain short hair is somehow tousled from the non-existent wind. And if anyone didn’t believe that it was possible for a giant to shrink to a midget, then they would have to think twice because Kindaichi is the living proof in flesh. He’ll definitely be aching everywhere after his exam tomorrow from hunching all day long.

“Why should I use more brain energy when I’m finally done with my exams? There’s no more space for snacks or coffee on your desk either, so why bother.” Kunimi’s muffled response doesn’t help in relieving the stressed hunched giant.

“You could go somewhere else instead.” Kindaichi points out, jabbing his pen towards the window.

“She’s having her exams now. Plus, your place is nearer to mine.”

“Fancy you knowing who I’m referring to.”

Kunimi doesn’t need raise his head to see the ugly smirk dancing on Kindaichi’s lips teasingly. “You would have the same person in mind if it was you.”

“Nah, I thought it would be Yahaba-san you were referring to.”

“It’s not my fault that my building’s electricity is out till night without any prior notice.” He tries to change the topic.

There’s no way Kindaichi is going to let this slide easily. “Yeah, yeah. Sure. So you would’ve gone to her place if she was at home, am I right?”

Kunimi sighs into the pillow as he fails to make him drop the topic. “Don’t blame me for not being able to finish revising on time later on.”

“I’m already planning to place the blame on you after all.”

【☾】

“Aren’t you going to see her off tonight though?” Kindaichi questions, eyes still focused on the scribbled words inked on the papers scattered before him.

“For what?”

“Don’t you know? She’s leaving tomorrow.”

The new piece of news sparks Kunimi’s attention. “Where to?” He asks, rolling over to his side to face Kindaichi.

“I’m not quite sure,” Kindaichi taps his pen against his chin in thought. “Not quite sure what for either. Work placement, maybe? But I know that she won’t be coming back anytime soon after tomorrow.”

Kunimi’s raised eyebrows matches Kindaichi’s ones, albeit one in scepticism and the other in surprise.

“You seriously don’t know?” Kindaichi asks disbelievingly.

He finds the answer in Kunimi’s shift in position, back facing him again.

Sighing at his friend’s actions, Kindaichi resumes back to the pile of doom before him. “Well, this may be your last chance. Just saying.”

“For?”

“You know yourself best.”

Kindaichi knows that he should focus on the issue on hand that calls for urgency, but his idiot of a friend requires his immediate attention too.

“You’re actually pretty lucky, you know,” He can’t help but say. “All of these years, from primary school, middle school, high school, and even now in university. That’s more than 10 years. And you’re still in square one. That’s honestly quite an achievement.”

“I’ll take that as a complement.” Kunimi snorts.

“Seriously. I know life is a game, but it’s different from volleyball. There are still other matches after losing one, after the ball drops, but in life there’s some matches that end forever after the whistle blows. Even if you try and save the ball in the last minute, the libero may not be there to save your dig after the whistle blows.”

“I didn’t know you were so good with words.” Kunimi rolls over slightly to look at his friend.

His eyes light up in excitement. “I am?”

The grimace written on Kunimi’s face tells him otherwise.

“Okay, but in all seriousness again, you’re really an idiot if you don’t grab hold of the final chance this time. Don’t say I didn’t give you a heads up in advance.”

“You’re starting to sound a lot like Oikawa-san now with the nagging.” Kunimi comments as he rolls back to face the wall, shutting out the latter’s retorts as he sinks into his thoughts.

But Kindaichi’s right. From baby seedlings to the sturdy plants now, it’s been more than 10 years of knowing you. You have been a part of his life for more than half of his years, witnessing his and your growth over the years of stumbling and climbing back up again. To call you a mere childhood friend would be an understatement. Because he knows where you place in his heart. He’s smart enough to know, but perhaps not smart enough to acknowledge it.

But maybe Kindaichi’s wrong too. Maybe life is similar to volleyball too. The positions in volleyball can be used in real life too. Him being a wing spiker and you being a libero. He doesn’t need to look behind his back because you’re always there behind for him, no matter what.

But maybe Kindaichi isn’t completely wrong either. Because he knows time waits for no one. He knows the bitter taste in the gut when the whistle blows just as his hand is mere inches away from the ball dropping to the ground. He knows efforts pay off at the end of the day.

Maybe he should try going all out just this one time. His first that may be his last.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Kunimi doesn’t know how, or even why he ended up here, right in front of your doorstep. There’s still a chance to turn back. Even after a text that has been sent out or the ding on the doorbell that has been rang, he can still back off if he wants. The bag of beer and snacks can be kept for lazy weekends in the comfort of his blankets alone.

Why did he buy snacks anyway? Maybe he should’ve gotten ice cream instead.

But they would melt on the way here. But again, snacks aren’t the best option either. Not to mention beer. Talk about being healthy…

His train of thoughts snap apart when the door swings open before him.

“Hey, you’re here!”

He can leave those thoughts for later, he guesses.

“Come on in. Watch your steps along the way!”

The mini sea of shoes flooding the genkan and the aromatic whiff of dashi soup in the air has him halting his steps. He doesn’t even need to take a peek inside to know that he should’ve went home instead.

“Uh, are you sure you’re actually free now?” He asks over the chatter coming from the inside, still taking a peek at the small crowd huddled in the living room, nonetheless.

You stand in the small hallway connecting the genkan to the living room. “Yeah! We’re actually finishing up, so don’t worry. You can join us for a few bites if you want.”

“Is your friend here? Bring him in! You’re gonna miss out the last serving of pork slices if you don’t hurry.” Kunimi recognises the voice. It’s one of the girls from your friend group that he has hung out with a few times before.

“I-”

“Who is it? Shabu shabu waits for no one. The meat isn’t nice when it gets cold.”

“Don’t be shy! Just come on in! Unless you’re too shy to be graced by our beauty.”

You laugh at your friends’ antics, ushering him to come in. “Come on, you know who they are. They won’t skin you for extra meat.”

Another voice booms from the inside. “We might actually do that if you don’t make your way here now!” A round of hearty laughter that’s mixed with a couple of beer and sake roars loudly.

Kunimi heaves a wary sigh, calculating his options. “It isn’t that. It’s just…”

“Just what?” You ask.

He looks up to your quizzed look, then to the sudden quiet living room where multiple heads are craned out like a flock of ostriches, each with a devious knowing look on them.

Now there’s definitely no way to make it out of here unscathed.

One of the girls clears her throat loudly. “You know what’s the best way to wrap up the feast? Ice cream.”

“Yes! We forgot to pick some up along the way. Could you go get some for us?” Another girl chirps in, while the others nod their heads in agreement.

You scoff playfully at them, hands crossed against your chest. “You’re asking me, the owner of the place, to go get ice cream for the guests? And leave my friend alone here in danger?”

“Who said he’s gonna be here with us?” A girl raises her hand in defence. “Take a look outside! The moon is so lovely tonight. Isn’t it such a beautiful night to walk under the moonlight with your dear friend together hand-” Her sentence gets cut off by the others who cover her mouth before she blabbers any further, smiling meekly at the both of you.

You stumble a few steps to catch the jacket thrown in your way. “Any ice cream will do! And take your time! Don’t worry about us.” They wave you off, resuming to the steaming shabu shabu on the table.

The both of you look at each other bewilderment, digesting what just happened seconds ago.

“Well… Ice cream?” You chuckle, soothing the jacket in your hands.

He chuckles too. “Yeah, ice cream it is.”

So maybe getting snacks was the right option.

The early autumn wind nips on the skin lightly. The crunching sounds of dried crumpled leaves on the pavement makes up for the comfortable silence that blankets the both of you on the way back, bag of assorted ice creams in hand.

“What a great bunch of friends you have.” Kunimi comments.

“They’re quite a handful, but yeah, I can’t imagine the past four years without them.” You laugh light-heartedly. “Are you sure you don’t want to come in? I promise they won’t bite.”

He shakes his head lightly. “It’s alright. Just dropped by to bid you goodbye and to pass you these.”

You peer at the bag handed out and swiftly turn on your heels. “I know you’re lying.”

He almost drops the bag in his hands. “I’m not. Seriously, that’s all I came here for.”

“You could’ve just sent me a text for this. Why bother making your way all the way here?”

Your question has him frozen in his steps, brain malfunctioning as he fails to come up with a convincing and rational answer.

You take the chance to plop onto the nearby stone bench, ignoring his snorts when you hiss from the coolness of the surface. “Well, I’ll be seated here until you tell me what’s the purpose of your special visit.”

“The ice creams will melt.” Kunimi reasons, digging his hands into the pocket of his jacket.

“Doesn’t matter. We can go get them again. I’ll just charge them double.” You shrug, waving him off dismissively.

“Plus,” you emphasize, “they told us to take our time. So I have all the time in the world to hear you out.”

He knows that you won’t budge until he gives in, given your personality. So he heaves another long breath and drags his feet next to you.

You rummage the bag for the ice cream you picked earlier, handing him a caramel flavoured one as he thanks you. You catch the little smile tugging his lips as he rips open the ice cream packet.

“You still like this specific brand after so many years.” You tease.

He bites the tip of the ice cream to spite you, in which he succeeds. “They’re the best. One of the only ones that hasn’t changed their recipe after all these years.”

You narrow your eyes at the crime he committed as he munches on the ice cream with a deadpan face. One of the things that hasn’t changed all these years is this habit of his too.

“So, ready to come clean now?” You ask. The ice cream in both hands is long gone, melted into a pool of liquid that chills the stomach.

Kunimi sighs for what seems to be the thousandth time of the night. Resting his arms on his knees, he trains his sight on the concrete pavement below. It’s funny how his hands start to feel clammy again despite the cool wind in the air. “So… You’re leaving tomorrow, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Keep calm, he tells himself. “What time?”

“Early in the morning. I almost missed out on the tickets because I got them last minute.”

“Can’t wait to leave, huh…” He mutters.

“A little. I’ve been looking forward to this day for quite some time, and it’s finally here!” You exclaim, excitement lacing your voice.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

You snap your head towards him in surprise. “I did. I remember telling you and Kindaichi at the same time. You guys would be one of the firsts to know.”

Kunimi groans in despair as he tries to rack his head for the past memory yet no avail. He blames the now unnecessary scribbled notes from the exam earlier for taking up so much space in his brain.

The bare concrete pavement seems to be more interesting than ever tonight. “When will you be coming back?”

“I don’t know. It depends.”

“So this may be the last time I’ll be seeing you?”

“In a while, I guess.”

Another sigh escapes his lips unconsciously as he buries his face in his hands. What happened to playing it cool, huh.

“You’ll miss me, won’t you?”

A scoff sounds in the air. “As if.” He hastily replies, turning sideways to hide the tint of flush creeping on his cheeks.

You chuckle at his actions. “I know I’ll miss you.”

His eyes finally meet yours. And although his soft hair falls past his eyes a little, you see your reflection in them, as clear as day.

“Then why can’t you stay?” He asks, voice just above a whisper.

It’s your turn to heave out a long sigh. “I can’t, Akira. I can’t.”

“As much of importance you are to me, there’s just as much of importance waiting on the other side for me.”

“That just means I’m not that important.”

He doesn’t know how those words carelessly fell out through his gritted teeth. All he knows that the moon is, indeed, lovely tonight.

It is indeed beautiful night, with the moon bright and round above. But why does he feel like the moon is mocking him? As if on such a beautiful night, with the person that takes up a significant place in his heart, his wishes are fated to not be granted. They fall on deaf ears, discarded aside as he feels his hope slipping away from his fingertips like fine sand in the wind. Maybe this is the price of not going all out all these years.

Time had been kind to him, offering so many chances and opportunities to him. But he wasn’t one to grab hold on them, because he’s used to making it up at the last moment. And it always worked.

However, maybe it’s all too late this time round. Maybe he outsmarted himself this time.

In all these years of knowing Kunimi, you’ve never seen him like this. Not even when they lost the ticket to the nationals for three years straight. Not even when life got him all tied up, juggling schoolwork and work on a thin thread, struggling for a gasp of air. You know he’s a master of keeping his emotions to himself, and you should be grateful that he shows this vulnerable side of him to you on rare occasions, because he trusts you enough to be there to pick up the pieces with him. But today, it hurts even more to see him like this, like a star that has lost its glow, a balloon that is gradually deflating. Because today, you’re the one that’s causing him to fall to such a state.

“Akira. Look at me.”

He doesn’t.

Because he knows that he’ll find something that he detests with all his heart staring back at him: pity. He neither needs your pity to offer solace, nor needs your pity to stay. That would be the worst kind of consequence that he knows he will regret for the rest of his life. Yes, his selfishness and self-interest may be screaming to reign over at the moment, but he knows this isn’t the right way to keep you by his side.

You don’t belong to him; you belong to yourself.

“Akira.”

He shudders as he feels your warm fingers cupping both sides of his cheeks, turning his face to yours. He avoids your gaze on reflex, but as his eyes sweep past yours, he stops. Maybe he really outsmarted himself this time.

Instead of pity, he finds concern, warmth, sincerity. Why is that?

“You know how I feel about you, where you lie in my heart. You’re smart enough to know that.

“But it seems like you’re not smart enough to know yourself.”

He does. Or does he?

You brush his hair that covers his eyes to the side gently, a small smile tugging the side of your lips.

“If you aren’t important, then why do you already have a piece of my heart which I have never given you?”

Kunimi’s breath hitches. The butterflies in his stomach are so close in fluttering their way out from his mouth as he comprehends your words, reciting them aloud again and again in his mind.

He immediately misses your touch lingering on his skin when your hands fall to your sides. “It sucks that I’m not smart enough to know whether I have a piece of your heart that you have never given me.” You chuckle bitterly, looking up to the moon.

You may have been there to pick up the shattered pieces of his heart and soul over the years, but at the end of the day, you return them to him. It’s awfully tempting to smuggle a few pieces, hiding them in your pocket to keep them safe and sound, but you don’t. It’s his heart, his only.

It’s your turn to hitch a breath. “You do,” Kunimi says, placing his hand over yours. “You always have.

“And now, I’ll give you not only a piece of my heart, but my whole heart.” His squeezes your hand gently, leaning in close. “Is it too much to handle?”

It takes a few seconds for you to apprehend his words, and once it links together, the butterflies on your end take flight in frenzy.

“Yes. I mean, no. I-” The chill autumn wind isn’t helping much to cool down the heat rising on your cheeks and ears. You can’t look him in the eye without averting elsewhere other than him. “It’s my honour to be bestowed your heart.

“And I hope it’s the same for you.”

“Look at me.”

Kunimi tips your chin up to face him, and you are welcomed by the soft smile that you love seeing, the one you don’t know that’s reserved for you only.

“Thank you for trusting your heart with me.”

He wondered where the stars in the night skies went tonight. It turns out they were all in your eyes, and they shine so ever brightly even without the sliver glow of the moonlight.

“Come on. We need to get more ice cream.” Kunimi nudges towards the now soggy bag that has tainted the stone bench with colourful liquid.

He picks up the sticky bag with a tissue from his pocket, shaking them a few times lightly as he stands up and extends his other hand to you. “They’re all on me.”

You place your hands in his. “What about the broke student you are?” You quip, footsteps falling in line together with each gentle swing of the hand.

“Hmm, I would rather be broke than be skinned alive in the lionesses’ den back there.”

【☾】

“Where are you leaving for though?”

“Miyagi. Our hometown.”

“What for?”

“It’s my grandma’s birthday tomorrow! I’m going back to give her a surprise and celebrate with my family over the week.”

You turn to him quizzically as he halts in his steps, rooted in place. His face is twisted and contorted in ways you never thought possible. It’s a mixture of shock, dumbfoundedness, and flabbergast all together. Words die at the tip of his tongue as he struggles to find the right words, brain buffering from the sudden new input of information, resulting in information overload as the new and existing information fail to fuse together.

“Where did you think I was leaving for? Some other prefecture for work?”

It takes a whole lot of effort to come up with a complete sentence. “Then why don’t you know when you will be coming back?”

“Because the train tickets back for the week are all sold out. So it depends on when my parents want to drive me back, I guess.”

You drag the babbling mess towards the konbini up ahead like a stone statue that looks like it’s stuck in a daze, caught in a trance.

“I’ll be starting work here in a month’s time. It’s not that far by metro, so I’ll still be renting my place here.”

“Kindaichi you lil shit…”

“Hey, don’t blame him. The best wingman award goes to him! It’s all thanks to him that I get to hold your hand now.

He loses himself in the endless galaxy in your eyes once again, losing sense of gravity.

“And your heart.”