#you have no idea how much i freaked out when you liked my post abt my wc for this piece ytd HAHA

[tenwhiteandalusians]

so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that he’s the one who saved scorpus from his mom’s pimp AND that he’s intimately familiar with scorpus’ dick when he was younger. guys. guys.

[thekoalapastriesbakery]

BUZZED!

formula one x male!reader

request: Okay okay, here me out, Male!reader gets a buzzcut and the drivers find out via like instagram or something and they get really whiny abt it.

summary: you get a buzz cut without telling your boyfriend

warnings: initial instagram post is just for reference + reader only posts whichever one applies to you most!, swearing, playful arguing

contains: alex albon, lance stroll, + lewis hamilton

youruser has added to their story!

written: time for a change ✂️

alex albon:

"WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOOOO?" alex yelped as soon as he walked through the door of your shared apartment.

you had just been lounging on the sofa, scrolling through social media to pass the time. you jumped slightly at your boyfriend's shouting. "what? what did i do?"

alex rounded the corner into the living room and pointed at your hair with a pout.

"that! what did you?!"

"alex, i just cut my hair." you chuckled, staying slumped on the sofa.

alex whined. "how could you do this to me???"

"you're so dramatic, oh my fucking god." you rolled your eyes lightheartedly. as much as you loved your boyfriend, he sure knew how to be dramatic. "it's not that bad?"

"yes it is!" alex insisted. "what am i supposed to do now when i want your attention?!"

"ask for it like a normal person?"

"it's like you don't even know me." alex huffed, flopping down on the sofa beside you.

you laughed quietly and put your phone away. "it will grow back, y'know?"

your boyfriend tilted his head to look at you with a a pout. "and what am i supposed to do until then?"

"cope?"

he whined again and poked you in the ribs, making you squirm slightly. "you're so mean."

"yeah, well, it's not getting reattached," you argued. alex ran his hand over the shaved hair with a sigh. "better get used to it, baby."

"fine ... but never again, okay?"

"no promises."

lance stroll:

the second you walked into your boyfriend's hotel room, he was right in front of you. lance crossed his arms and pouted at you.

"uh-oh," you murmured.

a sheepish smile crossed your lips. you tentatively stepped forward until you were close enough to pull lance into a hug, which you were very pleased to say he didn't reject. hopefully that meant he wasn't too upset.

"why did you have to get a buzz cut?" lance whined, pushing your shoulder.

you hummed. the truth of it was that the haircut had been an impulsive action rather than a conscious decision, but ... well, it was done now. "it's just hair, baby."

"no, it's not," lance argued with a pout. "it's your hair. which you let me play with and wash and put bows in and stuff."

"yeah, i hope you understand i would literally never let anybody else touch my hair as much as you do," you pointed out. was a part of you hoping to distract lance with a sweet statement? perhaps. but he didn't need to know that.

lance paused for a moment. he seemed torn between being sad and whiny about your hair, and being happy about what you said. sue him. he liked to feel special. "... then why did you cut it?"

"because i wanted to?" you shrugged. your hands dropped to lance's waist and tugged him closer, making him squeak quietly. "it's summer and it's hot and i don't need a fur coat on my head?"

"but what about the bows?" lance pouted at you.

a little grin tugged at your lips. "well, i can put them in your hair?"

your boyfriend seemed to short circuit at the idea of you putting bows in his hair. his lips parted in surprise, before his expression morphed into a goofy grin. "okay."

lewis hamilton:

the first reaction you got from lewis about your haircut was a text. he must've already been close to home, but apparently he felt the need to freak out about you getting a buzz cut as early as possible.

you cut your hair?

... yes?

it hadn't taken you long to reply. a minute at most. evidently, that was long enough for your boyfriend to get to your door. he flung it open, a dramatic frown on his face. "why?"

"hello to you too," you muttered, standing up to greet your boyfriend with a kiss. "because it was getting in my eyes, lew."

"so?" lewis raised an eyebrow at you.

you scoffed playfully, thinking he was just having a joke and not being serious. "so i couldn't see."

"so?" lewis repeated.

not joking, apparently.

"i can see?" he poked at the now-short strands with a wary expression. "i'd lead you places??"

"lewis."

your boyfriend pouted. he let out a dramatic sigh and turned away from you. "fine, i guess you like your vision more than you love me, then."

knowing he was just milking it, you wrapped your arms around lewis from behind and kissed his temple cheekily. "yes! glad you understand."

"... brat."

"love you too, lew."

©thekoalapastriesbakery :: please do not copy or rewrite my work on any platform !!

author's note: anon i am SO hearing you out (can you guys tell i love whiny boys yet)

comments + reblogs appreciated!

taglist: @raizelchrysanderoctavius @crispysoup318 @op-81-lvr-reblogs @ncrsbrg @spoonfulofmilo @justaf1girl @widow-cevans

[pervertwhore]

(omg ok first time doing this but)

ok this is a safe space (saw piss kink n my neurons ACTIVATED) so while having ur throat clogged w his cock u taste piss n ur obv disgusted by it so u (softly) bite in protest trying to let him know what's wrong n instead of letting you up he keeps your head in place n gruffly says in his alcohol fueled voice "can you taste my piss, bitch? hm? can't be still without having something in your mouth, and now you're bitching *again,"* he says w a grunt as he forces himself deeper down ur esophagus making you gag n retch— 🔇

tw. piss drinking & dark! leon kennedy under cut!

NONNIE! THIS IS SOO HOT!!! hello my dearly beloved omfg this…i want you so bad, when i tell you my hand teleported into my pants when i read this for the first time like how did that happen!!1!1 no cause when i say piss kink this is what i’m talking abt i need to consume this man’s acid piss 🔥

YES!! this is a safe place i promise, never be shy to talk to me abt anything cuz chance is i’ll match your freak .. i hope to see you in my ask box again soon.. xx

if you don’t like piss, save yourself and skip this post LMFAO it’ll be easier for the both of us 🔥

but yeah! i can definitely see it :(( your knees are all bruised up and achy while leon’s cock was shoved inside your mouth uncomfortably. you bopped your head, taking him in and out, your warm tongue pressing on his shaft, feeling the veins that adorn his skin against your muscle.

while your throat is occupied, leon is lounging, his hand gripping the back of your head while his nails scratched your scalp. he’s lazily rolling his hips against your face while a familiar pressure in his lower tummy ached.

leon had to piss, of course he did, he was shooting back some whiskey like it was water. one thing about alcohol was, not only does it give you a nice buzz, but it makes you piss more.

as you eagerly sucked his cock, leon could feel the pressure building up more and more. sure, he knew he should pull out and go take a leak, but where’s the fun in that?

so, without warning, he just started to piss, not caring about your feelings on the matter. the warm salty liquid overtook your mouth before you could even realize what the hell was happening — once you did, you gripped his thighs, manicured nails digging into his flesh as your teeth pressed against his shaft. you had tried to pull your head back, but his grip on the back of your head tightened, his grip was firm, keeping his cock shoved down your mouth, forcing the piss to travel down your throat.

you didn’t want to choke, so swallowing was your only choice.

you tried to struggle against him, but all he did was shove you down his cock. his free hand moving to pinch your nose, blocking air flow. “stop bitching,” he grunted, his brow furrowing, trying to bite his cock? are you stupid? “it’s just some piss, you’re not going to die.” leon scoffed, letting go of your nose so you could breathe, but he kept your pretty face pressed flushed against his crotch, your nose pressing against his pubic bone.

by now, tears are slipping past your waterline, the taste of his piss and the feeling of his cock blocking your throat was making it hard to keep yourself from fighting against him. your body curled, gagging and retching against his cock, your drool pooling onto the floor while some of his piss left your lips — you clawed at his thighs, wanting to pull away, you didn’t want to throw up. god, the idea made you shiver and gag.

leon, on the other hand, didn’t care how much you gagged and retched, he let his body relax as the pressure in his lower belly relieved itself.

letting out a low groan, leon leaned his head back against the couch when the stream ended.

once you forcefully swallowed back the last gulps of his piss, you immediately tried to pull away from him — to catch your breath and cough, but leon’s hand remained firm on the back of your head.

“ah-ah,” he huffed, a lazy smirk curling on his lips, “i’m not done yet.” he reminded, thrusting his hips up against your pretty face, why would he let you pull away? his cock was still hard, and he was making that your problem.

[queer-obsession]

on my bullshit again and thought abt if MHA characters (pro heroes) would hard launch or soft launch your relationship so here you go:

Izuku Midoiya: soft launch - he's definitely the type to take a relationship slow in general anyway and with his status as a pro he wouldn't want to just throw you to the wolves. His manager helps him out and after you've been together for honestly almost a year he'll carefully start stepping back from being single. If asked if he's in a relationship in an interview instead of "no" he'll say "no comment", he'll purposefully get caught buying something for you a couple times, he'll tweet a quote abt love, and eventually post a picture of him holding hands with you or hugging you where your face isn't visible, then his next interview when he gets asked if he has a partner he'll say yes and that's it, a few days later he posts a photo kissing you with your face visible and captions it with a simple heart

Katsuki Bakugou: No launch - He is a firm believer of it's nobodies fucking business so he just doesn't talk abt it. Eventually you guys would get caught by fans or paparazzi and he'd probably be like "yeah that's my partner got a fucking problem with it?" and that's it. Honestly people are to afraid to bring you up in interviews

Shoto Todoroki: Soft launch - he doesn't know the fucking difference but his manager would eventually want him to soft launch your relationship when people start to catch on so he does. He does the classics, gets caught buying flowers, posts abt love, takes a photo of a candlelit table for two, and eventually posts you two together. What the world doesn't know is that your actually the one that crafted all the soft launch posts

Kaminari Denki: Hard launch (by accident) - he can't help himself 😭 you guys probably planned on keep your relationship on the low for a bit longer but he accidentally mentions you in an interview or he posts a photo of you talking abt how cute you are and doesn't realize he did it on his main

Kirishima Eijiro: Hard launch - He can't shut up abt you. The second you guys are official EVERYONE knows. One day he just gets asked abt his relationship status and he just praises you for a minute straight and you only became his girlfriend a month ago

Mina Ashido: Soft launch - I think she would love crafting and organizing a soft launch. Taking fun teasing pictures and watching people in the comments freak out. She just finds it cute to soft launch and practical. She eventually posts a photo of you two together probably on a holiday with the cheesiest and sweetest caption. She defiantly planned everything with the idea of announcing your relationship on said holiday to

Keigo Takami (Hawks): Soft launch - He's a very high ranking hero and let's not forget that the hero commission helicopters him like a bunch of stalkers. your relationship would be a secret for a while, over a year 1/2, because of the commission. When they realize your not going anywhere and that the public is catching on they organize for his handler and PR team to soft launch the relationship. I feel like his PR team definitely built up a bachelor reputation for him so they have to soft launch to get people shipping you guys and not being as mad he's no longer single. Shit goes on for months, him getting caught buying gifts, getting caught at a fancy restaurant, his PR manger tweeting cryptic shit, organizing a fake paparazzi shoot where they "catch" him holding hands with an unknown person. Eventually he mentions being in a relationship in an interview, but he doesn't post you for another few weeks at his managers request so that people can "digest"

Hizashi Yamada (Present Mic): Hard launch - he doesn't really mention his personal life to much but his students know abt you and he mentions you on his radio show. He just casually mentions you one day and then doesn't talk abt you again for two months when he casually mentions you again

Aizawa Shouta: No launch (lowkey secret) - Another firm believer of it's no one's fucking business. There is no launch because your relationship would most likely be a secret. Never mentions you at work, is an underground hero, and a definite homebody. There was never any hope of any type of launch. Present mic is the only one that knows except maybe Midnight. Nezu knows to but he's a stalker

Rumi Usagiyama (Mirko): Hard launch - When i say hard launch i mean it. This women legit just makes out with you in public one day and that's it. The internet almost breaks because it comes out of no where for the general public. Never talks abt you because she likes the focus to be on her hero work but doesn't shy away from PDA and doesn't care if people know.

i hope someone finds this interesting 😭 reblogs appreciated ❤️ have fun down the MHA rabbit hole

[spinjitsuburst]

ramble about ur favs i wanna hear abt ur thoughts -zaptrap

HAN’S INFODUMPING ABOUT JAY... START!!!!

so like sgdkdhdkdhd I say Jay and Lloyd are my “favorites” but honestly it’s so hard to pick favorites out of this skittles squad like I love EVERY character for a variety of different reasons. I was going to also infodump about Lloyd but then I started talking about Prime Empire and then this post got. Long. So. it's just Jay I may infodump about Lloyd another day especially since I'm very Conduit Brained Rn but yea yea!

this is long so i'm putting most of it under the cut so y'all don't kill me for making a huge long post

I considered putting Zane and Sora on here as well since I’d also consider them my “favs” but like this is already gonna be. A lot of. Infodumping (also i typed THIS part before I even started and decided not to yell about Lloyd because this already got long enough). Maybe I’ll make a separate post for those two hmm hmm much to consider but for now MY (technically) FAVORITE NINJAGO CHARACTER: JAY WALKER

THE SPARKPLUG WHO INVADED MY BRAIN LIKE A PARASITE

so hey his name is a pun this makes me laugh ridiculously hard every time I remember he is named. After a misdemeanor HSKSHDKFH

Jay is such an interesting case of a character for me because I started out the show not liking him. Which is. Stares at my entire account I think my feelings have changed somewhat

Jay starts out as an asshole I don’t think anyone can disagree with me there (although honestly they’re all assholes in early ninjago they bullied a ten year old and left him dangling several feet off the ground) but over the course of the show you can see him start developing into a much more interesting character. He goes from being so insecure he's faking everything about himself to someone who knows who he is and is so genuine about it

now yea we could argue about whether his character was too uwu-ified post-season 10 but this is the FUN HAN POST SO WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT the point is you can SEE the growth that Jay has gone through and I am going to show you that growth through what I call

✨ The Skybound to Prime Empire Effect ✨

I AM SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THE IDEA THAT PRIME EMPIRE WAS WRITTEN TO BE A DIRECT PARALLEL OF SKYBOUND AND WAS CENTERED ON SHOWING HOW THE NINJA ESPECIALLY JAY HAVE GROWN THROUGHOUT THE SEASON

when season 12 rolls around we are at the point in Jay's development where he is CONFIDENT in who he is. He's a fun-loving jokester with the power of lightning and the drive to help people whenever he can. He uses jokes and humor to help alleviate tension and get people through whatever's happening. And when on his own what does he do?

BECOME AN ENTERTAINER BABEY

i like to think jay's club in prime empire was a safe haven for anyone stuck in the game who figured out hey. we Can't Leave and felt freaked about it. Also Jay would generally try and spread the word that hey something ISN'T RIGHT HERE which would lead people to want to stay with him

(totally plugging my friend's fic but this kind of thing is explored in would you like to enter prime empire by @finn-m-corvex y'all should check it out cool cool)

also the prime empire shorts which i watched all of in the midst of typing this video cuz i love them go watch them please please please jay was publically fighting the red visors which I imagine may have raised some red flags for some players

THIS SOMEHOW TURNED INTO PRIME EMPIRE INFODUMPING LMAO ANYWAYS Jay's confident! He becomes an entertainer because it's who he knows he is! And it's something that will get people hyped and having fun, which is very in-character for Jay to do! He uses those kinds of things to mask the Bad Things going on and get people remembering what's good

I've talked about this sort of thing before but that's Jay's whole philosophy as early as season 9! Which is a DIRECT contrast to how he views it in season 6, as Nadakhan puts it scarily accurately

"You make jokes to mask the fact that you're afraid"

(i was gonna grab a screenshot for that like i did with the hunted scene but netflix has bloCKED THE ABILITY TO TAKE SCREENSHOTS THE WAY I USED TO and i don't have them already and i'm too lazy to grab them from elsewhere so alas trust me he says it)

making jokes to hide your fear and using humor to remind yourself of what's good and coping with the bad are two VERY different outlooks on it

so I think this outlook is what drives him to make this glamrock persona in the first place - this is a bad situation, one he's in with other civilians, and what better way to keep him and themself safe until the others get there than throwing a big performance at a safe place!

also it's just so gender okay I want to look like Superstar Rockin' Jay so badly

it's also interesting to see his outlook on his parents change over time! In season six he finds out Ed and Edna aren't his birth parents and feels upset about it, not understanding why his birth parents would've abandoned him. In season twelve, that outlook changing is EXACTLY why Jay's able to get through to Unagami

"I was abandoned by my parents, too!... I never understood why, and I never had the chance to even ask. But I always hoped there was a good reason. What if there's a reason?"

(again curse you netflix i wanted SCREENSHOTS whatever whatever)

It's this scene that gets Unagami to calm down long enough for Milton Dyer to get there, and presumably is what stops him from just. Flattening him and Jay like a pancake.

to piggyback off of this i absolutely adore how Unagami and Jay consider each other adopted brothers in that one book I still haven't read and I hope he's in Dragons Rising at some point Unagami is my favorite "villain" (no longer a villain) in the whole show he deserves more screentime

like this is where i found out about this and it's plagued my mind ever since. i need to read. this book just for them

SO YEA OKAY Prime Empire is "Who is Jay as a Person Post-Skybound" to me also it opens up so many fascinating things about Jay. I rest my case

so backpedaling a little bit. JAY CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HIS PARENTS GUYS IT'S SO SOFT AND I'M sobs

like yea the first episode with Ed and Edna in it has Jay avoiding them like the plague but this gets explained very easily when you remember he was bullied for his home life before he became a ninja. It makes a lot more sense why he wouldn't want them around his new friends, assuming they'd react the same way. Also how was he supposed to know literally all the rest of the groups parents were either dead, presumed dead, or had a toxic relationship with their kid lmao

(Cole calling his mom kills me. Cole's mom is dead. I know they probably just didn't think that far ahead when writing the dialogue but it's so funny mans pretended to call his dead mom to get on Jay for not appreciating his parents iconic behavior)

anyways literally every episode Ed and Edna are central to (except like the one in skybound) Jay stops at nothing to protect his parents and it means the absolute world to me he's so much like them!! They raised an inventive little nerd and he will stop at nothing to make sure they're safe and it's. It's SO IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY

ALSO this is an excuse to clip my favorite piece of dialogue possibly in the entire show. Except Netflix won't let me now. So you just get the text dialogue

Jay's just fallen from the sky with a messed up eye and is incredibly distraught that all his friends are captured. And his dad just. The woRLD IS FALLING APART AND HE'S EATIN' SOUP-

Ed i love you

anyways

anways anyways this just turned into me rambling about prime empire and then Ed and Edna and a lot of disjointed other stuff but thank you for this opportunity i was going to also ramble about lloyd but i put this post in a word count and

yea i think that's enough for a tumblr post anyways! If anyone wants any like. More logically thought out and direct thoughts about characters feel free to send me asks this was fun thank u @zaptrap for this opportunity to scream about jay

[yuri-is-online]

Sorry if this ask makes absolutely no sense I just need you to know the absolute emotion I feel because of this Ayuu.

I need you to know just . how close to tears I am . I just reread your Azul meeting his Yutu and I am. IM CRYING. THE “Your daddy’s here” IS TAKING ME OUT AND SHOOTING ME DEAD . IM GENUINELY TEARING UP. I think I’ve read every part so far twice over, barring the Yuu specific ones cause they Hurt Me. Speaking of hurt, Deuce!Yutu and Riddle!Yutu hurt me so so bad . All of the Yutus do, but they’re the ones that just came to mind rn and it’s so so sad. Especially Riddle! Yutu because he hates his dad :( Idek why I might’ve blocked out why LMAO,,, I love all the Heartslabyul characters and their kids it makes me cry. Especially Trey. He’s such a weirdly domestic freak that the idea of him being denied the family life he’s always been content with is so so sad. ALL OF THEM . THEY MAKE ME SO SAD BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE WITH YUU!! They want to be with Yuu, and most of them are obviously happy to have a kid, but to know that that’s been taken away from you by circumstances that are literally destroying the world you live and love in? Yeah. That’s Rough!!

I would love to see Jamil!Yutu and how Jamil reacts to his child feeling guilt for something he never did, was never responsible for, and again has to suffer through because of the family theirs has been forced to serve. I think he’d be so mad, so so mad this boy has grown up thinking he’s the biggest blight of his father’s life, the cause of his death, when in reality he’s probably someone Original Timeline! Jamil would have cherished.

I LOVE YOU RUGGIE BUCCHI!!! Sorry I needed to cry that out this made me love him so much more!!! And Rook!! I love you Rook Hunt you weirdo. Ruggie being like “Idrk what to do… but I can bug Leona about it” is so so real. Him not caring if his son is charismatic as long as he knows his cards and is able to survive. Rook as a phantom is genuinely breaking my heart idk why. All of the phantoms break my heart. I don’t want to imagine anything abt them if I do because if I imagine them having even a fraction of sentience I’m heartbroken. Imagine being unable to prevent something from possessing you. Imagine your body and soul being used to tear your home apart— imagine seeing any of that through your own eyes. Imagine seeing your own kid after years of thinking them missing. I would genuinely not be able to handle that. It’s giving the Last of Us zombies where they’re completely aware and conscious throughout the first phase. Scared . Heartbroken .

Anyways, this au is 100000/10 I need you to know this. YOUR MIND IS SO SO BRILLIANT!!! I’m probably gonna keep rereading everything you’ve written so far about it because I’m having so many brain worms . So so many. Sorry for this ramble!! Please ignore this ask if for any reason I might have said something you didn’t like >:]]]] I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL YEAR!!!!

;-; ty so much for your kind words anon I am injecting them into my veins to continue writing. You have said nothing wrong, rambles are nice to receive, though my ask box is a bit cluttered at the moment and I am super busy so getting to things in a timely manner is not something I am able to do.

Riddle! Yutu was the first one to get a post, and I am tempted to re do it as I was still figuring out the format. He hates his dad because he wasn't there for him when he was a child and he doesn't know why. In the good timeline he's something of a daddy's boy; he really wants Riddle to be proud of and praise him

After I finish editing the second part of Rook's post you will be pleased to know the next post is about Jamil. I'm still formulating the outline of it because I've been thinking some thoughts about stars and unique magics

The way I write the phantoms they posses the instincts of their former selves but the individual lacks the input you might associate with consciousness. I'll get more into it in the second half of Rook's post... but there is a degree of awareness of their actions.

There's a lot of tragedy in this ayuu, I'm glad I'm hitting my stride with it c: it's nice to know people are liking it

[kroosluvr]

hi!! as a fellow royal trio-truther ive been ADORING and loving your posts so much <3 you mentioned that you've like mentally re-wired shusumi so i was curious if you had a list of head-canons for how they develop in the game/post-game!! Im super curious to hear (: also any head-canons for the akesumi dynamic would be great bc I hate how little the game developed them together !!!

OMGGGGGGGGG HAYYYYYYYYYY ok so. first. look at this (idr if i posted this here already but if i did look again heh..)

ok now ill actually talk under the cut

note that some of this is headcanon territory bc i just be frolicking at this point

some backstory i fell in love w sumi as soon as her art was revealed i was like omfg peak design PEAKKKKKK i love her so much so i was really excited abt her but i feel like there were so many loose ends w her confidant and namely her crush on protag sometimes doing her a disservice (it turned ppl off from her (understandable bc i also dislike when writers make a female character out to be dependent on a male character) but also made other ppl weird abt her in the same breath....... shivers. people who overly-romanticize/sexualize mentally ill characters (especially girls/women) freak me out sorry

anyway that put me off frm p5 fandom for a hot minute. BUT regardless. i think people often focus on like "shy cute sadgirl kouhai crush-on-protag" for her which on top of atlus's.......mediocre handling of her also does her character a disservice... shes so multilayered!! she houses such insane convoluted levels of distress and fear and anger and reluctance and most of all STUBBORNNESS. i think her headstrong personality is not really emphasized in fandom but i can totally see it (maybe its just me but).

ok moving on to my shsm delusions i think to turn sumire's canon crush on its head i want to make them doomed to never get together. i think 3rd semester is so tense and high-emotion that royal trio are so deeply intertwined w each other:

like they all are mildly-to-a-lot suicidal so they hold onto each other so tightly to make sure none of them spirals and does anything bad. i think in the end they just want the other two to be Okay, even if they themself doesn't. if the other two are ok, then it's all good.

ok back to shsm LMAO i think seeing their relationship as like an odd high-emotion situation makes sense. they love each other, obviously, and provide each other comfort, but the idea of a relationship slips thru their fingers like water. is that right...? is that how it is? like i said up there they just crumble under the weight of their own love. tldr theyre in no place to "date" each other........ but they have their "almost." they're inseparable, they love spending time with each other, but knowing in the back of their heads that it won't last, and they'll have to leave it be one day. "sometimes when i really love someone i leave them alone forever." peak shsm to me. "let's run away together - but what if it's not enough? what if all of this fear and sadness still stays? i take a man down to the river and he throws away his sadness but hes still left with his hands, he's still left with the river (paraphrased richard siken). peak shsm to me. i think they try to treat eachother so softly and gently that it fucks it all up, actually. peak shsm to me. it's not codependency in the sense that theyre not trying to save each other - they're just trying to salvage out some love from it all. all of these terrible things that happened: there's still love, right? there's still love. but the pain can't all be sifted out, and everything still hurts. but they still love. (they just don't date or even talk to each other much after graduating and i think they talk to akechi but to each other its suddenly COMPLICATED. i hate these guys)

ironically i think if you throw akechi in the mix it stabilizes out and i think shuakesumi could totally have a happy married ending. but shsm as a pair i dont see endgame for them. peak for me is that theyre in love and then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget each other (they don't)

(If this sounds ridiculous and stupid im sorry. i just like shoving too-many-emotions onto my favs sometimes (a lot of the time))

IN REGARDS TO AKESUMI i think my latest 2 comics describe how i feel abt them pretty well!!! link 1 and link 2. actually i think akesumi's friendship is a great way for me to explore how i see/portray/feel about sumire, because i see them as way more similar than the game pays attention to. they're both stuck in their ways: sumire in her cowardice, hiding from the incident and refusing to move on, and akechi entrenched in his own traumas and feeling like he doesn't deserve more than that. their self-hatred manifests in two opposite ways but its very similar at the core. they both like. have no fucking clue what they're doing in terms of handling their pasts so that's why i think them working together to get around their own respective traumas is so fascinating: akechi is terrible at it, pushing sumire too far, but at the same time that perspective is something that she needs. meanwhile, her sensitive and observant personality shows akechi that like, you can have This too: a soft, good love. to have someone care about you unconditionally, so gently. you deserve that, too. yeah i can explode my head off now

i did not proofread this.

[frozenjokes]

what is everyone’s love language/how they best express their affection…..iirc you’ve talked abt this in a fic or a post (scar is touch, cub is qualitt time, i forget grian) but i want to hear it Again!!! this has nothing to do w any fic planning btw :3 i am a normal guy w normal thoughts and behaviors all the time

(side note — if we genderbent/hit all of them with the lesbian ray, would you be chill w that? don’t wanna write stuff abt them and then you just feel weird abt it 🫶)

life would be so much better if they were all girls because then grian could call other women cunts and I wouldn’t have to erase it (enthusiastic yes)

Scar is huge on touch, yes he is the ultimate guy Big Toucher. A lonely Scar will be down on his luck in a fight, say ‘hey what if we chose love instead’ and get his nose broken. If you’re a fan approaching him you are going to Get Hugged. If you’re anyone he remotely knows you’re going to Get Crushed. I imagine the strongest of his hugs are reserved for cubfan135 and skizzleman. I don’t even know if Skizz has been mentioned by name in these fics but he’s there. To me. He does love to bother Grian but he is a little more wary because of the one time when Grian first met Micah (alter ego) Grian told him he has bad hands and Scar has been thinking about the /derogatory/ ever since. Scar does actually have differently textured skin but it’s mostly subtle and probably only something someone who knows him well and/or someone in the middle of a deep extremely autistic mental health crisis would notice. Oops! Grian has no idea btw. He doesn’t even remember saying that. It’s safe to say actually he doesn’t remember most of that night. Quality time is also big for him. He just likes being around people. He probably also enjoys giving gifts, but more in the way of just Paying for stuff. Buying lunch. Stuff like that. It’s mostly a thoughtless gesture because he is aware of One Thing and that is that he has A Lot More Money Than Most People, but something he enjoys. Also making stuff. He likes to make things and he does NOT make them for himself he makes stuff to be Validated. On that grind for ATTENTION. this applies to coworkers as much as it applies to friends and lovers.

Cub is absolutely quality time, you pinned that well. He loves a good *sit in the presence of my friends in complete silence.* parallel play? you’ll kill him with that. I don’t think he or Grian are fantastic at cooking or anything, but Cub enjoys being talked at while he’s making dinner while Grian’s sitting at the kitchen table or vice versa. Just thought about them all doing a puzzle together and how much of a disaster that would be. Cub isn’t nearly as bad of a control freak as Grian is but he would start foaming at the mouth when witnessing Scar attempting to shove two pieces that obviously didn’t go together into one. I think Cub and Grian would get competitive about puzzles. NOT a relaxing activity when they’re doing one together. You know how with cats they each have the Same Food in different bowls but they just HAVE TO KNOW what the other is eating because it MUST BE BETTER. them with different parts of a puzzle. but both of them have resource aggression. They’re having fun. Get them two different puzzles and they’ll play nice. The puzzles can’t be the same piece count thought because then they’ll start racing to finish them first. Both of them know this very well.

Cub isn’t a psych major but I feel like he also expresses that Weirdo Autistic Psych Major Affection with the piecing people out and puzzling out all the different aspects of their personality into boxes and lists. He is studying you. This fuck isn’t just ’spacing out in your direction’ he is looking directly at you and wondering what your fucking problem is. The only exception to this is Grian, only because he’s known Grian for so long that doing this is literally just exhausting. He’s given up. ‘hi, my boyfriend saw you from across the bar and was wondering what the fuck is wrong with you’

Grian I think also has a quality time thing going on but it falls under more of a line of Shenanigans. Guy that LOVES to make a scene. The CuteGuy and HotGuy dynamic appeals to him so much because it’s just drama and fun. Guy that loves to be sneaky with his friends. do. do crime. Start a funny cult with his good friend mumbo jumbo and party alllll night but EVIL. He should really make ocs and start rping with mumbo. Scar would be shit at rp despite spending all of his life playing different character versions of himself he would be so bad. Cub. I don’t know. It doesn’t Quite seem like something he’d be super interested in, but he would listen to Grian talk about his ocs. Shenanigans can also mean arts and crafts. He loves a good arts and crafts. It’s one of the only ways to stop him from being so competitive. Indulge him in his interests and he will kiss you on the mouth. Type of 30 yr old at the sleep over pajama party to suggest prank calling random numbers. Or truth or dare. This cunt would be ALL OVER truth or dare oh my god. He makes me sick. Fun fact, if you want a fun rp idea, putting your whole cast together and making them play truth or dare is Really great. It gets old, but it’s a fantastic once in a while thing.

it’s been an hour help

[raybies-10]

Screaming crying throwing up at the new tmagp episode (#7) LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN CELIA, YOU RECOGNIZE THE VOICE OF CHESTER???? FROM WHERE CELIA!! WHERE DO YOU RECOGNIZE IT FROM????? you can’t just drop that bombshell on us and then leave!!! Also she’s so real for wanting to sort the statements we’ve been hearing about into the 14(15? Have we decided it’s 15? Idk I’ve only been in the fandom a year) fears, cause same. ALSOOO Jon (may be our Jon not sure yet?? I’m gonna hold out hope) writing Sam an email??? Never thought I’d see the day idk he just gives me the vibes that he doesn’t know how to send emails even if he’s in a computer.

ANYWAY what did the email say Sam??? SAM WHAT DID THE EMAIL SAY!!!!!! TELL US PLEASE. I can’t believe Sam and Collin got into a fistfight that’s hilarious, also Colin reminds me of the earlier archive crew (not s1 I don’t think the tapes started appearing as much then) when they would get all weird and freaked out abt the supernaturally appearing tape recorders

Wait now that I’m thinking about it does the existence of the electronics listening in imply that the web/annabelle is listening in this universe??? Idk I’m just throwing ideas at the wall, also what’s up with Lena trying to kill someone?? Is that how she got her job or something or was that just to keep someone quiet, the name may have been important but I’m not to good with names (scary when you like a podcast/podcast like this Ik) gonna end this rant here and start another post about my findings with Elias and his rise as the head of the Magnus institute and when the place burned down I’m tmagp cause I found some interesting stuff

[trickstersaint]

Screaminggg saint person I just read your apple taste in the throat as sin poem and I love it so I have a childhood experience to share bc I think the vague themes will make you writhe

So! Ever since I was a child I thought The Fruit™ was a fig! And I felt probably the same way you did whenever you ate an apple as when i ate fig newton's bc of this at like 6🤷 tasty but also [grows up in the church].

Anyway, that one lil story in the bible with the fig tree where jesus is having a very human moment and got caught in 4k withering the tree out of hanger then covered his ass with bravado+temple talk had stuck with little me from this, so to ramble: the life and death that goes into a figs growth and how even in paradise there was hunger, how it exists even among the divine, and that you have to give yourself whole to it like a fig wasp (it will kill you in the end) (or do you choose to die for it) (was there ever really a choice or is it nature to find something bigger than yourself and sacrifice your life for it) and that religion only lives on bc we do but who is to separate the temple from the tree thats barren that will outlast us like a legacy to all we could've been if not withered before its fruiting season? And what of the tiny wasps when the time comes to pollinate but the tree is gone, what of the next generation that burrowed their way out of the fig/divine and what life cycle is there to choose after? Were you born into it all or is it only where your mother died? andandand?? Screams I hope this gives you inspo for more writing or that you at least enjoyed the vibes of me being insane abt figs and what it means to take of the forbidden fruit and the withering of the fig tree lol

Also princess Diana and Gerard as a saint has been rattling around in my brain and I'm going nuts plz elaborate on what they mean to you I'm dying to hear ur thoughts in depth on that

my friend is also really into the fig tree story... beginning to think that raised-christian people only have a few preset bible concepts that they come preloaded with obsessions around. the two genders... fig and apple... anyway saying that even in paradise there was hunger is crazy. i need to write more about adam and eve they drive me insane. y'all ever think about this line from an article about adam and eve that i was reading for a research project a year ago and only posted on my main account where almost none of you guys would have seen it

she is trying desperately to encase herself within the divine framework... jack katz "The Social Psychology of Adam and Eve" save me. save me... anyway...

mmmm on princess diana and gerard way as saints. i find it interesting the way that people idolize her both as an icon of kindness and charity and also as a martyr; for the people who are really caught up in the image of her, i feel like it's absolutely as much about the fact that she died as it is about the good things that she did. not to say that people make her a christ figure lmao but if you REALLY wanted to get into it you could draw some parallels between the way that people talk about jesus interacting with the lepers and diana shaking the hand of someone with aids. and then to take this figure that you are idolizing for their selflessness and good works and to say that she was murdered is like. very evocative of martyrdom i think. these are not personal beliefs of mine i just find it very interesting to look at how people talk about her. personally i think the cultural obsessions around figures like princess diana and marilyn monroe, especially because they're women, are only ever going to grow parasocial and focus around the image or the idea of a person rather than fostering an interest in a historical figure. which. i mean. hey. me and saint sebastian for real :|

um. and then to further implicate myself in this social phenomenon. i am a freak about gerard way and i am not to be trusted around images of them in joan of arc armor or a cheerleader dress. liable to burst into tears or start speaking in tongues i think. i've been too transgender and too into my chemical romance for too long to be anything near normal about that particular person. seeing them in the joan of arc costume made me feel so crazyinsane about religion for so long that i sat down and wrote that first saints quiz. um. and you know actually i do have a poem about the way that it makes me feel so you can just go read that before i say something that's going to make me sound like i have a genuine religious fixation on that guy with like. a wife and kids. see also: trickstersaint poem "there's this feeling i get that i can't describe".

[glitchotic]

heard ya have some lego movie headcanons (interested)

Ooughhhh i have soo manyyy.... for example this one's technically not a hc but does anyone else ride or die for fat/chubby emmet??? i mean i already always hc'd as being a bit overweight but adding on the fact that rex says hes "chiseled features were hidden under "baby fat"" just totally solidifies chubby emmet for me. additionally, people who are afraid to draw wyldstyle/lucy as buff make me sooo irritated especially in her apocalypse form like omfg theyre parodying mad max rn and you dont think shed be built like a brick house (no pun intended) rn? but okay sure. i guess you could make the argument of "well she needs to be sneaky and well hidden" as if her ex boyfriend isnt literally batman who is ripped and does that shit but i digress. i've discussed this in my benny/metalbeard post but metalbeard being a tech freak is mad underrated of a headcanon to me, i think him geeking out over new tech just makes so much sense to me bc i firmly believe metalbeard wants to have the most swashbuckling, most advanced pirate ship of the sea. especially considering when queen whatevra offered an entire planet sized ship for him and he added on things like a keyboard to his build and he just seems like hes always open to new technology and ideas. SPEAKING OF QUEEN WHATEVRA. technically more abt mayhem, i sooo hc her as being like a raver/kandi kid/scene girl type idk something abt her design to me screams "i listen to dj s3rl" I ALSO THINK SHE MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH LUCYS ORIGIN BECAUSE HOW DID SHE KNOW HOW TO REMOVE THE SHARPIE FROM HER HAIR HRMMM?? PLUS THE FACT THE SYSTARIANS KNOW THAT POP MUSIC CAN AFFECT THE WAY PEOPLE THINK..... ADDITIONALLY THE DUPLONS SANG THE EVERYTHING IS AWESOME SONG........... MUCH TO THINK ABOUT HERE IS ALL IM SAYINNGGG... also i in general feel like no one talks abt mayhem/lucys relationship...... sorry but like tlm3 real needs to happen bc i want so desperately to see more of mayhem getting to know lucys story and being so invested and helping her heal and recover and full go back to her true self and ohgfggmmffg imaging how adorable the specialstyle interactions would be after emmet just being like "woagghh youre so beautiful" and shes like "this outfit is smaller than i remember..... kinda hurts"......... oh THIS ONEEE I NEVER SHUT UP ABT but UNIKITTYS CAT HALF IS A TIGER SHE IS HALF TIGER AND ULTRAKITTG IS PROOF!!! i think puppycorns dog half is a shiba cos of the curly little tail and his tendency to be air headed and goofy. i also think puppycorn and unikitty would b the type to use gen alpha slang to piss off master frown but thats me getting into my unikitty! headcanons lol.... ummmm .... i also really like audhd emmet and autistic benny but GUYSSS HEAR ME OUTTT SWEET MAYHEM GIRL AUTISM. think about it.... ermmm thats all i can think of rn i have more but its so hard to talk abt my hcs w out a specific prompt 💔😔

[dandadananalysis]

Cursed House Arc pt.1.1/? (review delayed)

Part 1: Episode 11/Chapter 28-30

Part 2: Episode 12/Chapter 31-33 (a bit of chapter 34)

Part ?... (season 2)

Some confessions to make: Sorry guys for the delay of the review of episode 11, because I'm having the most intense exam of my life, and it will happen again for the next 5 years :"))) So glad that the 3 most "cruel" subjects of my 1st module is done, 3/5 is completed, 2 more to go: Philosophy & English for specific purposes (doctor stuffs)

Now let's get back on track!

Now starting off with the episode, we were introduced with Enjoji Jin (a.k.a Jiji), Momo's crush/osana najimi (childhood friend)

And Okarun kept praising (silently) the young man for his phisque (hahah :0 well that's expected from someone who belittles himself too much, be more confident of yourself!!!) even though he now sees him as a rival bf (you see nothing here!)

And someone who is pretty much, an ideal boyfriend, turned out to be like this:

Gosh this man :'))))

His speech:

The reaction:

And he gets flirt with the rizz :))))

Especially with complimenting Seiko-obachan :)

Wait i'm a bit confused: when do we use obaasan and when obaachan? or even obasan, obachan???

Because I thought, obaachan is for granny, obaasan is for aunt

Jiji called Seiko as obachan -> Auntie, but the Vietnamese sub translation is "Bà" -> Granny, so when I checked the manga, it is actually Auntie! (Dì)

So is the Vietnamese translation wrong??? The VN sub is making the manga readers confusing, lah!

Anyone please help me with this :"))

(actually at around this part, I really want to analyse and get into the details, because someone on Fb post a very good small detail, but I guess I will save it for later...)

Jiji just get into the house without Momo's agree :))) So yeh, ofc she's confused, lah

Momo's crazy "NO!!!" dance, and Seiko's part :3

I love Aira's overthinking ideas

And she left immediately. Well bye bye, oyasumi nasai~

Wait, this is what we've been waiting for: be quiet pls :)))

She's staring at him, for whole freaking 25 seconds

Where's my "See you tommorow!"? Ofc Okarun confused <:)

Oka here it is!

I noticed that whenever Okarun is shy and confused, he keeps holding onto his glasses :3

Here's a closer view, he did blush and flustered Awww

Pls watch it by yourself pls!!!! This is PRICELESSSS (from Jiji)

(3:54-4:01)

His heart is not comfortable, at all. I get it man, poor Okarun...

Okay, and now it's currently 10:07 PM, and I'm hungry :")))

Hamburg beef with miso soup and pickled radish, I'm starving (my tummy is rumbling :")))

And Seiko-obaachan keeps giving him more food the more he praised her beauty

And now, Momo & Jiji's past

Okay why is this part starts to get scary???

And because of the "thing", no wonder why his parents are getting "not okay"

And the rest of the story, y'know already: 3/5 exorcisms he asked commited /ˈsuː.ɪ.saɪd/ or /ˈsuː.ə.saɪd/

The photos are censored in Youtube, but if you watch other resources, you can see how they "did" that

(This blog is family-friendly, I won't add any pictures relating to any sensitive elements)

I love them so much :)))) Granny moments~

(There's another detail I wanna discuss abt how Jiji talks to Momo that I found very interesting, but we will save it for later...)

Momo forgave his mistake for making fun of her... and that is cute <3

And now she has to face a bigger challenge: helping Jiji, solve the mystery, and she will get her uniforms :)))

Well now he knows :)))

Obachan (auntie) -> Baachan (Grandma)

(but we reach 30 images max) So we will end this post for now

Dang, first time it gets this long...

Probably I love this episode too much :)))

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬

And this is the first part of part 1

I will continue for part 1.2 (after the OP)

[cyrusthedragon]

Okay, I know this post will read only one man and his dog, but I really need to write down all my thoughts on season 4, and just keep it structured. If you're interested in discussing it - you're always welcome!

HUGE SPOILERS BELOW, CHAPTER 1/2

Word count: 1,057

Includes: Vicky Neuman, Zoe, Kimiko, Frenchie, Hughie, Hughie's mum

1. Victoria Neuman + Zoe

First of all, I really need to appreciate this intro cuz, excuse my goddamn french, Vicky Newman is HER. Vicky Neuman is absolutely HER, I'm really looking forward to her character development. I honestly don't think she's a villain, she's just an antagonist, but a very good one. She is not a bad person in any particular way, she has an Idea in her, she has a Meaning, she has Reasons and Motivation. More Neuman please, especially in GEN V. Thanks.

Like Vicky, her daughter is also a scary ass Supe, but unlike Vicky, who's a bloodbender, Zoe's powers hardly can be used for anything good. Some headcanons here:

While Vicky thought that she was the monster because of her “terrible” abilities, she, by injecting her already grown-up daughter CompV, somehow created a real monster. She stupidly turned her child into a freak, who will be very difficult to accept by society, because her... superpower is something that u often see in nightmares. And it’s unlikely that the typical "don’t judge a book by its cover" slogans will be enough to accept that someone can pierce your mouth while kissing you with their four...tentacles? Whatever they are. I personally find them cute, btw, but in The Boys Universe, I'm not sure ppl will accept Zoe. Zoe, forgive your mom. She's not thinking rationally when she's worried about you.

It is also very much worth thinking abt her willingness to kill without any questions asked. That was definitely not her first murder. Vicky could use her power, as a politician perhaps, and bring victims to Zoe so that she could kill them and get used to it.

2. Kimiko

These are just very beautiful shots that I want to share with yall. First - Zoe tore off Kimiko's hand, it just grew back :D I love this scene for its absolute absurdity. God bless Karen Fukuhara. + Demonstrated that Annie can fly, also a good introduction to new abilities! Well done!

Secondly, I ADORE Frenchie's reaction here, it just shows so much love he has for her: Kimiko's face literally peeled away, she REATTACHED IT, and Frenchie, her platonic soulmate, at first was confused af, and then he UNIRONICALLY SMILED to his girl being literally unkillable. I feel you, Serge, I love her too!

Kimiko is very balanced. Information about her comes up every season, and each time there is enough information left to theorize but be satisfied. She's small and cute, like a mouse. She loves girly stuff like doing hair, wearing jewelry, and dressing up. She’s all about having fun and smiles a lot. Her gentle, kind personality totally contrasts with her powers of mega strength and near-immortality from regeneration. She was raised to defend and attack, but her empathetic nature is well shown in the smallest details.

For example, new information: Kimiko gets wasted super fast. I adore her.

3. Frenchie

Next to Kimiko, literally being her soulmate (i fuckin' can't believe that we're so lucky that in addition to the chaos of dicks and murders, we also have the genuine, platonic love between a man and a woman AT FIRST SIGHT), is Frenchie. We've already seen he's bi; this isn't the first rodeo, but now he shows it ON THE SCREEN, HURRAY, COMRADES. I'm very proud of him, he's my baby 🥹 we finally, with the help of his new love interest, found out about all the murders he committed when he worked for Little Nina and even before that. Frenchie is a very balanced character, just like Kimiko, you learn a little about his life in each season, and each time enough to build theories and be satisfied. I wanna know how to write like that.

My favorite things about Frenchie are his wild love affairs and his doglike loyalty. He's got an unbelievable knack for forming strong platonic (with Cherie also sexual, but you get the point) bonds with women, who end up adoring him. Probably because he has a heart of gold and doesn't act like a jerk. He also sincerely tries to be better. C'mon now, he's doing his best! All the love for my boy.

4. Hughie

Hughie loses the only person who has been with him his whole life. His father was a great, excellent parent. But it’s time for Hughie to stand on his own two feet and become at least a little bit the main character - which means, eh, i guess rest in peace, Mr Campbell?... If this doesn't happen, I'll be overjoyed. Although besides pushing Hughie to mature, the coma plot also provides a chance for us to learn about his mother. His dad is in a coma - won't she come? Here we learn a lot of interesting things about our babyboy.

Hughie's emotional outburst when he sees his mum for the first time since he was just a kid is very realistic and I love everything in here, including the cast choice. Because Hughie is a spitting image of his mother. This kind of attention to details makes me wanna chew Kripke's brains off.

Hughie is very similar to his mother: in speech, in movements, in facial expressions. For some reason I really like this. He, like his mother, has tenderness and a steely core, they are both very stubborn. Although he also has a note of “cowardice” from his father, his desire to push forward and that decision in the first episode to go help Butcher and take revenge on Reggie were just visible sides of his mother’s character.

Not gonna say that was the original idea, but I think Hughie saw Butcher in his mother. Because 'I'm not made to be a father'. And he realized that Butcher was almost just like she was. At least it seems to me that way. That being like Butcher is... normal. Ppl do fear being parents. And this is currently the best representation of postpartum depression, very realistic shit, Kripke, I'll stuff your brains into a Thanksgiving turkey. With all love and respect.

If you've made it this far, congratulations, you're a survivor! If suddenly s/o wants to be tagged in the second part of this review (well, sort of), write in the comments and I’ll tag you!

[whataboutsimple]

Warning! Under the cut it's just Alex whining about his life and nothing more. So basically useless post lmao- oh, yeah, curses. Lots of. Curses. Yeah, I don't recommend reading this tbh

Now what the fuck, how people manage to live their life normally and than there's me. What is wrong with me?

No, no, listen. I get it, no human can be perfect, but it frustrates me so much that I can't get exactly what's up with me. You saw other ppl on this app? Three posts a day MAX, and what do I do?

Third of August the first very post, all the way to 17 of August.

Tham it's 9 of September and since than no breaks (well, maybe Little like for a day or two)

Currently I have 397 posts, and if math is mathing, than it's about ≈8 posts each day.

8 posts each day, and I haven't posted even half of what I wanted. Or the asks I'm getting (I love them though)

What I'm implying? I can't focus even for a second on my school, better shoot me than make me doing my English, all the homework I've done so far I've done in five minutes before the class itself started. You see it?

AND THAT'S even not the full thing, I can't focus even on writing or drawing, that's why I didn't upload all the stuff, because I can't make myself create it! I have the idea in the head, I want to put it on the paper, but I can't.

The hands, the brain, they work only in a stress situations, when it's either getting an F, or doing the freaking work god damn it.

Sometimes I don't even want to touch my phone or get up from bed. All I want is to, idk, nap until I'll feel myself as if I rested.

Don't even get me started on trying to look through my mental health, I've been doing it, and you know what? I can't normally say to myself "Hey, those symptoms are kind of remind me of ourselves. Maybe we are not as healthy as we pretend we are?" Nonono, because it always will end up in self doubting like "What if I'm lying? What if I just know those symptoms are implying this and try to adjust to them to look so "poor, poor child" like? What if I just try to convince myself that something is wrong with me or simply want attention?"

Okay, like, I've been searching for symptoms of autism and ADHD for so long, reading forums and what other ppl with such things say. God, I even went through thos dumb "online tests" out of boredom and you know what? It's like 90% that I do have both, but yet again what if I'm lying? I'm perfectly healthy, I should be, I'm just lazy and dumb to do the work.

I have autistic cousin for example, and I act a lot like them and a lot like not them. Even my family always compares us, but when it's me, they go like "Well, you're not autistic, so it should be fine for you, stop acting like that!"

Yeah, woman, I'm perfectly fine, I'm just dying everytime I need to interact with ppl in reality and have heartbeat over probably 500 because it beats so loud I can almost hear it.

I've been to therapist like twice after some tragic moment in my life, because I started having horrible panic attacks, so strong even my Mon got worried, and all they managed to diagnose is PTSD after what my mother like. Just stopped the sessions. And those times when I were there, I was too scared to ask them if I may or may not have, idk, ADHD, autism or depression or anxiety or whatever because I just want to know what is wrong with me.

Because normal people won't act like I'm.

You think the dog thing is a joke? Well, yeah, it is, but I'm really eager for any interaction and reaction I can get. I don't even care abt kudos and stuff as long as you commented or reposted saying something. I'm going to die on the spot and if I had a tail it would've 100% wagged.

But when it comes to ppl in real life, I don't want to have them near me, to be in one room with them, to hear them. I can chat, I love chatting, I love talking, but only with texts. There are literally only three ppl who I can call: my mom, my grandma and my online friend.

And online friend waited for 4 years before we had a first call, voice call.

That's not normal, is it?

And like that I'm lost in me thoughts. The point is that I want to know what's wrong with me really bad, but at the same time I'm doubting if there's something wrong and I'm not just a lazy sore looser who tries to hide from responsibility in the internet. And even that I'm doing horribly.

Dang it.

[beefscrap]

You beautiful bastards have got me to over 300 followers now!! What the freak Tysm! I’ll probably have a bigger thank you later when I do the challenge

So far I’m thinking I’ll start it once the book ends, maybe the day the last chapter is out, or the epilogue? (Epilogue would LIKELY be a week later as always) And ofc it’ll be the Design a Character challenge. I have vague ideas and yall can lemme know what you think abt em!

IDEAS SO FAR

- there will be 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place, all with prizes. And I’m thinking for other entries I’ll do an honor post for them (linking and/or showcasing all the designs)

- 1st place will have an art prize, as WELL as having your design in the story. Take note that this means I will be the owner of the design and character!!! I will be making sure the character has an important role ❤️ ofc everyone aside from 1st will be allowed to keep the oc. Just make sure you keep this in mind if you win

- 2nd and 3rd will be art prices, as well as being showcased ofc

- There will be very little artistic bias: even if you ‘can’t draw well’ I do not care !! I choose based on how cool I think they are overall. Just have a cool imagination yo

- I will have some sort of vague prompt for you. Not too much for spoilers, but just enough to get what you need to know

Lmk if you have ideas or opinions! Ik the ownership thing might be annoying, but it’s just the easiest way I’d be able to go forward after with my story. I’ll start with a lil poll-

[angelsdean]

hi!! i've spent the better part of my morning browsing through some of your tags, and i just wanted to tell you how much i enjoy you posting about young dean / queer dean and how it makes me so genuinely happy to read your thoughts on the matter (that i generally completely agree with btw). dean being well aware of his sexuality from the start is one of the most important aspects of the show for me at the moment.

i don't want to write a whole poem in your inbox but i am having so many Thoughts! my personal interpretation is that dean had already pretty much come to terms with his sexuality pre stanford era, and was actively and deliberately seeking dudes in his late teens (esp when he was away from sam and john and maybe had a chance to feel more free and unrestrained). i completely understand why people look at him and think '🫵 repressed' (i did too) but to me its so much more interesting and compelling and it adds so much more to his character to imagine him growing into his queer identity so comfortably (i love to think that, despite eveything, there was a part of himself that he didn't completely hate or reject, does this make sense?). also as you said, being repressed is def not the only reason why a person might have to suppress/not be loud about their sexuality. we don't talk about this nearly enough!! i NEED to read headcanons and fics and metas and see art about young queer dean!

hi Mila! oh wow thank you so much 💖 young queer Dean is so important to me too!

I love Stanford Era so much because it's really this time where I see Dean being at his most free, but also most lonely. And I think he's trying to make connections, and trying new things, and really getting to be. And I also love the idea of teen Dean carving out these pockets for himself too, when John is away, or when Dean gets sent away :( :( :(

I think Dean started figuring out pretty early on that he was "different." I wrote this little fic a while back exploring some aspects of Dean's gender + sexuality throughout the years, I haven't revisited it in a while and I feel like some of my thoughts may have changed but it's still a really special fic to me.

Lately, I've also been working on another little fic set during the summer Dean is 14. He and Sam are staying at Bobby's and while the fic is centered around something else, there are small moments where we see Dean's budding awareness of his sexuality. (There's a cute boy at a produce stand and a hot lifeguard at the community pool and lots of magazine clippings of Harrison Ford and Patrick Swayze---he just wants to be like them, ok!) And it's like he's aware but he also can't really look at those feelings directly yet. (Also the art you made recently of young Dean "figuring it out" is so near and dear to my heart!!)

Then I have two Stanford Era time-travel WIPs (hiiii Cas!) And oh boy. This guy is SO GONE on Cas from the jump! And that's what I love so much about Stanford Era Dean (or well, my Stanford Era Dean), is that he's just in such a free point in his life, and so open to new experiences. He's not freaking out abt his immediate attraction and infatuation with Cas. In fact, where Older Dean (our Dean) is more...restrained, perhaps, in his feelings (not that he doesn't express them! i am team dean + his big feelings) but just that my personal interpretation re: the dean + his feelings for Cas timeline has him thinking / convincing himself that Cas doesn't feel the same way for him in the later seasons. So this Older Dean has kind of just, accepted that fact. And is trying not to wear his heart on his sleeve so much (and not really succeeding at all). But Stanford Era Dean? Oh no no no. He is a little shit stirrer and a smitten kitten and is both immediately clocking the situationship-and-mututal-feelings happening between Dean and Cas (it's so obvious to everyone on the outside looking in) AND he's actively flirting with Cas and just lighting up under any and all attention from him (because he's also so so lonely. and touch-starved. and craving affection).

Anyways, all this to say, I am always here to talk abt young queer Dean / Stanford Era Dean !!! I'd love to hear more of your headcanons too💞